#btw all questions are rhetorical. I do not want them answered.
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sorry, Zagreus, I've had your sister for five hours and I already like her more than you.
anyway! I did treat myself and bought the game early and. it's just very good!
in somewhat chronological order, my thoughts after yesterday's session
the music! the music is even more amazing than in the first game and if I'm done, I need to listen to the whole OST on loop
the art!! also even better than in the first game!!
Melinoë is a great protagonist
it's incredibly funny the first god we encounter is Apollo, because Apollo is the guy people modded into the first game years ago
... boy, I wonder what the speedrunning meta will look like for this game (I have very obscure knowledge about Hades I speedrunning meta)
I love the little backgrounds that pop out with the art
oh, right, I jumped into the Hades I EA late, so I never saw the place holder graphics in-game before
the environments!! beautiful.
I shouldn't have played the first game last week. It's fucking with me. where's my second dash??? Why do we start with 30 HP??? where are my death defiances??? weapon mechanics???
of course there's a fishing mechanic again.
I like Hecate's design.
saluting??? what's the lore behind that?
OH. this tone of the story isn't ... quite what I expected. A lot more serious. a lot more severe.
Melinoë doesn't remember her family??? Hello??? what the fuck???
and she keeps talking about her task with such a dutiful determination ... no, I'm not crying. But. That's such an interesting conflict.
NEMESIS!! She's holding her sword aspect!! her design!! her resentment!! her vengeance!! her rivalry with Mel. how Mel calls her Nem. please. tell me she's a romance option. PLEASE.
oh, hi odysseus.
hey, there's hypnos! ... why's he sleeping??? (funny thing is, I got the Charon dialogue that implies he's more useful this way lol)
I cannot. Take. Skelly serious. It's worse because Mel does.
I like Moros' design. The long hair going over the horns? Yeah, that's good.
Mel gets an AXE??? a heavy, double-bladed axe??? (I love women wielding heavy weapons, and as long as the rail doesn't make a return, I'm good with anything after enough time)
I like the new art sprites for reoccurring characters!
ahhh, the good old "we don't trust Olympus so we're not telling them everything" line. understandable, but I figure that's going to blow up sooner or later.
I love Mel's bond with Artemis and Selene and the implication that both helped raise her.
... and I like the predominantly female cast so far
Nemesis can show up in Erebus???
BABY MELINOË omg
why does every chthonic goddess / titaness sound like they have a thing for Persephone. Nyx already had a few lines like that in the first game. Why does Hecate also have these kinds of lines.
the Hecate fight frustrates me to no end, because I'm very used to more dashes, more health, and more death defiances, and very different weapons :( (I have bet her twice in total so far)
unrelated, but I didn't know I needed a sheep in the Hades art style but it's so damn cute and I want a large art print of it
Archane!! I love how her silks change Mel's avatar
Oceanus is beautiful
... except for the traps. Really not digging the traps. or the maps.
CHAOS??? why are you holding your old form's head??? and why is there an embryo coming out of it??? why do you have wings??? why do you wear a suit??? the new design unfortunately checks all the boxes but upon reflection that is because it fits into that very niche character design trope I've seen in manwha recently and I couldn't put a name on it if I tried
on that note, I also adore Aphrodite's new design!!
not quite sure what I think of the gathering / farming mechanic yet
I do like the incantations, magic, hexes, and arcana though!
HERMES! I also adore his design.
wait, what? Mel's going to Olympus? You're telling me one part of the game is descending into the House of Hades and the other is climbing to Mount Olympus?? (that's my speculation, at least.)
god, I hope the cast of the first game is alright/alive. :(
I hope we also get to see Athena, Ares, and Dionysus at some point :(
on that note, I can't wait for Mel to meet her brother and realize he's the opposite of her lol. I love siblings and mirrors.
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#rambling#i love this game and I'm not sure if I'm crying because it's so good or because I love Mel or because I keep dying to Hecate#btw all questions are rhetorical. I do not want them answered.#i want to experience this game as blind as i can.
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My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.
I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃
#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag#trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened#and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents#but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO#they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her#but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers#and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming#(a conversation SHE started btw)#and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back#and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary???#that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you#like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive)#but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but.#if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that#i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions?#and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️'#(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent)#hate it. thanks#apostake#jay rambles#ok to interact#im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged#gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully#they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face#haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc#it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace#my sister's 17 ffs#it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void#religion#mormonism
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The fire in your eyes / Ghost x Soap
Kinktober #19 - Uniforms
Military Parades. Everyone hates them. Instead of doing something useful and productive, you need to dress up and march in front of staring crowds. Nobody cares if it’s so hot the road is melting or so cold your eyes are freezing over. However, there might be a silver lining to this one: Johnny fucking MacTavish proudly displaying his Scottish heritage.
I'm writing this at 3AM, terribly sorry if it's even less coherent and has even more mistakes than usual. Btw did you know SAS has its own tartan? Well, now you do.
The door to the rec room opens, Ghost immediately checks them. And has to look away and back again. As if to make sure he’s truly seeing... that. Johnny. In a kilt. Not just the kilt, in fact, the whole getup.
Gaz whistles, eyeing the other Sergeant. “Looking sharp, mate! Got a date? Some pretty bird to impress?”
“Damn right, I do,” Johnny smirks as he momentarily looks at Simon. Oh, he likes to play with fire. But he does look sharp, Gaz is right about that. “But we gotta address the elephant in the room. Ghost in a uniform? What did you bribe him with? And the chest candy, too? Had to be expensive.”
“That would be classified, Sergeant,” Price appears out of nowhere, rivalling Ghost’s namesake. “I hope you boys are ready to make a good impression today.”
“Yes, sir!” they answer him in unison. They don’t have to like parades, but they all understand why they must be at their best.
It all goes smoothly; they’ve rehearsed it, after all, for countless hours. Even the weather takes pity on them and graces the parade with an overcast and reasonable temperature. They march, they do the show, people are applauding, a few are shouting some profanities as if a good portion of the parade doesn’t have a near-death experience. As if they didn’t hear the whistle of a bullet flying way too close to their head.
Ghost keeps his mind carefully clear. He performs as is expected of him, enjoys the fleeting moments he gets to see Johnny and tries not to count passing minutes. Then there’s a hymn, another march, and, yes, finally, they’re free. He needs a drink, as do the rest of One-Four-One. Drink, and then he gets out of the uniform. Every time he catches a glimpse of himself, he startles a bit until his brain catches up. God, he hates this.
As Simon nears the pub they had earlier agreed to meet, there is an unusual amount of noise and ruckus coming from inside—the sound of breaking glass and splintering wood, shouts and thuds. Ghost tags Price standing a little out of the way, leaning against the wall and smoking one of his usual cigars.
“Someone already managed to start a fight?” Simon asks as he comes closer, mildly impressed.
“Uh-huh,” Price nods. “We did.”
Ghost blinks a few times. Alright, he didn’t see that coming. “What happened?”
“Someone insulted Soap’s kilt and, if I got it right, even went as far as to say something about his mother. And you don’t just insult SAS soldier’s mum, do you?” Price asks a wholly rhetorical question. Ghost only nods, but then he looks around the deserted street.
“So, why aren’t you inside?”
“Plausible deniability. If I go there, I’ll have to clean up the mess and employ some disciplinary measures. You know the drill.”
“Want me to sort it out, sir?”
“Please do.”
That’s the only permission Ghost needs. He takes off the jacket, handing it to Price. He might not like it, but he sure as hell doesn’t want to get his measurements taken again for a new one.
It’s an absolute chaos inside. Luckily, Ghost thrives in chaos. He sweeps the pub from left to right, taking a quick and rough account of the situation. Gaz is to his right; two men are holding him up as the third takes a swing at him. It’s not a bad punch, Gaz’s head jerks to the side, blood from the split lip dripping on his uniform. As the assailant prepares for another swing, Ghost intervenes. This is his teammate right here, the man who’s saved Ghost’s life on numerous occasions.
Ghost moves quickly, sliding behind the man’s back and grabbing him by the collar, slamming him into the overturned table. The two blokes holding Gaz up look at Ghost, then at each other. There’s a hint of recognition. They let Gaz go immediately and try to charge Ghost, both of them at the same time. Not a bad thinking.
Ghost dodges one fist aimed at his stomach and trips the man. The other one lands a hit on Ghost’s kidneys. It hurts, but he’s used to pain. However, before Ghost can react, Gaz is there, kneeing the bloke in the stomach before sucker-punching him. Okay, that’s one-half of the job done.
“Where’s Soap?” Ghost barks out loud enough to be heard over the racket.
Gaz looks around. Numerous fights are going on, as is expected. There’s tension and rivalry between the military branches and the units. This sort of gathering is a powder keg. “I don’t…,” Gaz starts, trying to find their other Sergeant. “Oh….”
Ghost follows Gaz’s gaze, and… yeah. Oh.
Soap is lying on the ground, one guy’s neck held between his thighs while simultaneously doing a proper fist-assisted dentistry on another bloke who’s struggling to crawl away. Johnny looks like a rabid dog.
“You gonna need help with him?” Gaz asks, not making even a single move.
“Nah, get out of here, Price is waiting outside,” Ghost shakes his head, loosening his tie, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and tucking the sleeves up.
First, he frees the half-choked bloke before he kicks him further from Johnny. Then he grabs Soap and forces him to his knees, thus letting go of the second guy in the process. Ghost quickly glances at their uniform. Royal Marines. Of course. Ghost almost wants to kick them some more.
Instead, he does the reasonable thing worthy of an officer. He takes Soap and, much to the Sergeant’s protests drags him away. Soap is loud, cursing Ghost in that incomprehensible language of his, but even he isn’t so out of it as to hit Ghost, who also happens to be his commanding officer as well as a partner of sorts.
Ghost pretends not to notice and appreciate the searing heat in Soap’s blue eyes. Johnny doesn’t lose his shit nearly as often as many would think, yet when it does happen, it’s an absolute masterclass of carnage. And Ghost loves it. However, he can’t be thinking with his prick right now. They need to get out before someone with actual power shows up.
The ride back to Hereford is a short and quiet one. They stop at a petrol station and get some ice. Gaz is nursing his split lip and bruised jaw, Soap is pressing a handful of ice on the back of his head, where he claims someone hit him with a chair. He’s bleeding from the shallow cut on his forehead, and his left eye is beginning to swell. He got a thorough beating, but Ghost can’t help but think that he didn’t really save Soap. If anything, he saved those two poor bastards Soap was beating up. The Sergeant would probably eat them alive if someone didn’t stop him.
They get out of the car, Ghost immediately grabbing Soap and dragging him away. Price sighs, and Gaz chuckles.
Ghost is leading them to the barracks, to his room. The door closes, lock clicks in place. Johnny is dirty, bruised and bloody; his uniform is ripped in several places, too. He’s a damn mess, but Ghost has always had some seriously crossed wires. He’s been hard in his trousers for a while, and there’s no way he’s waiting a minute more to do something about it.
“Uh… Listen, LT, I’m sor…,” Soap doesn’t get to finish his apology before Ghost is on him, damn near devouring his mouth while his hand clutches at Soap’s thigh over the thick layers of tartan. Johnny lets out a slightly exasperated laugh as he backs up and falls onto the bed. Ghost follows, never allowing more than an inch of space between them. The new position allows him to reach under the kilt finally. He kneads at Soap’s bare thigh, remembering that he nearly choked a man with it. Fuck!
Ghost quickly undoes his belt and shucks his trousers down under his arse. “Lube,” he growls at Soap because the Sergeant is closer to the nightstand. Johnny does as he’s told, fishing out the bottle and handing it over with the same practised move as if he would hand Ghost a magazine.
“Prep?” Ghost asks, clipped and right down to the business.
“Fuck it, want you in me thirty minutes ago,” Johnny smirks. The fire in his eyes is back now. He didn’t get to rip the Marines apart, but now he might get that anger channelled in a different way.
“Wanted to be in you the moment I saw you in the morning,” Ghost retorts.
“You tell me the sweetest things, Simon. Hurry up!” Soap smiles, licking his lips as he watches Ghost fumble with the lube.
It burns a bit at first, then it hurts a bit more, but Soap is no virgin. Ghost is holding back a great deal, trying to go reasonably slow. Soap groans, but instead of pulling away or making any attempt to stop Ghost, he nudges him closer, whining as he forces himself to take more. Ghost is mesmerised, completely lost in him.
Johnny writhes under him, unable to stay still. Ghost’s prick halfway in is both too much and not enough, and it’s frustrating. Finally, he makes up his mind, hooks his legs behind Ghost’s back and demonstrates just how much strength there really is in his legs.
Ghost gasps and moans, Soap whines, arching his back off the bed, struggling to take a breath for a few seconds. “Christ, Johnny,” Simon wheezes, struggling to control himself and the situation. Scratch that; he doesn’t control the situation at all. Soap does, especially once he adjusts and simply uses Ghost to take what he needs.
Simon doesn’t mind. He would be willing to give this man anything he could desire. Anything at all. Simon would cut out his own cold, cold heart and gift it to him. He would burn down the world. For now, it seems that his cock will suffice.
Soap, for the lack of better words, fucks himself on it, and the kilt, rumpled and tucked up, leaves exactly nothing to the imagination. Johnny shivers as the glistening glans of his hardon rubs against the wool, but Ghost does nothing to help him.
If he did, it would’ve been over way too quickly. Instead, he leverages Soap’s hips, changing the angle significantly. Soap yelps before hissing an ecstatic “Yes!” Soon enough, more words follow. Please and harder are especially frequent, and Ghost does give it to him.
Snapping his hips forward at a punishing pace, he gets a lovely gasp each time he bottoms out. Johnny is clawing at the sheets with one hand and at Ghost’s forearm with the other. Come morning, he will probably look like a wild cat mauled him.
It’s a sweet kind of pain. Johnny will feel him for a few days; it’s only fair Ghost will, too. Simon feels the tension build up inside him; his thrusts are slower but firmer, forcing a breath out of Soap, who looks like half of his mind is wandering elsewhere. Eyes hooded, mouth hanging open, face slack in that special way only a good shag can do.
“’M close,” Ghost warns. Or maybe it’s a promise, what with the way Johnny’s legs hold him tighter, trying to force him deeper. Simon blindly searches around until he finds the lube, pouring a little into his palm before he grips Johnny’s neglected prick. It’s hot and hard, velvety, with prominent veins that make Ghost’s mouth water as he remembers how it feels in his mouth, on the tip of his tongue. How Johnny tastes, how his hand in Simon’s hair feels. Simon cries out, a broken sound of utter relief, as he pumps into Soap with each pulse that wrecks his body, coming inside him for what feels like an eternity but is mere seconds.
His hand slacks, but Soap covers it, tightens the grip and continues to fuck into Simon’s fist with quick, erratic thrusts. He’s close, his breathing ragged, his brow furrowed with desperation and concentration. Simon moans as Soap rides his oversensitive cock.
Even in his post-orgasmic state, Ghost feels the faint rush of excitement as he watches Soap coming undone and, a few seconds later, actually coming, soiling his uniform, jacket, kilt, shirt, all of it. Ghost lets them both breathe for a few seconds before Johnny lets go of his hand; Simon, in turn, let’s go of Johnny’s cock, and brings his hand to his mouth. Johnny makes a small, helpless noise as he watches Ghost lick the cum off his fingers and palm.
Simon collapses on the bed next to Johnny, exhaustion catching up to him quickly.
“You’re beautiful,” Simon whispers, unable to stop himself.
Soap stares at him for a moment before he snorts. “Aye, damn right I am, what with the black eye, all bloodied and bruised.
“You’re prettiest when you’re bloodied and bruised. And angry, I like you angry,” Ghost continues, his filter completely fried. Johnny would probably tease him about it later, but for now, he can say whatever he wants.
#call of duty#ghost mw2#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#ghost x soap#ghostsoap#soap mw2#soapghost#ghoap#kinktober 2023#kinktober
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If it's not too much trouble, could you explain in simple terms what makes Spotlight: Arcee transmisogynistic? I feel like I must be missing something.
I get that it probably has to do with her being crazy violent and out for revenge because of a forced sex (and gender???) change and that she didn't ask for or agree with, but is that all there is to it?
This is an honest question and I am not trying to troll btw.
I'm happy to share my thoughts with you on it (below a cut, because the subject matter is less fun than I usually tackle on this blog), but with a couple caveats.
First off, I wouldn't answer this if I felt completely ill-equipped to give an answer, naturally. But I do want to stress that this is an answer, one particular perspective from one particular person, and not a claim to any kind of authority; for context, while this opinion is heavily informed by the opinions of trans women I have spoken to and read the thoughts of regarding this comic over the years, I'm not one myself. And more broadly, nobody's opinion is ever going to cover every possible angle on a serious topic, and I can only speak for my own opinion on the matter, informed by the opinion of a few more who I respect. I'm just some rando. You should only ascribe the below as much respect as you think Some Rando Online TM deserves; probably not all that much, hah. ;)
Now that context has been established, what I actually think is below the cut.
I think it can help to put the stuff you bring up in this ask into a broader perspective to explain why these elements are transmisogynistic, which is something we can look at on a couple of levels. One of these is in the sense of how these elements interact with a broader history of similar tropes in pop culture, and another is a discussion of the surrounding context of Arcee having this kind of story told about her given the history of her representations in prior incarnations of TF comics. So let's tackle the former first.
So there's the trope of a forced "sex change" invoked as horror you highlight in this ask, which works to present the concept of "changing sex" in a shocking, traumatic and frequently graphic light; this is something found in all manner of schlocky horror media, hence why I refer to it here as an established and recognizable trope. Spotlight: Arcee did not invent it; the comic is riffing on a stock concept it understands an audience will recognize. (For a recent and particularly blatant example, google the 2016 film 'The Assignment'.)
While an argument can be put forth (and often is) that this only presents involuntary "sex changes" as scary things, distinct from the concept of someone undergoing a voluntary gender transition, that... well let's put it this way: involuntary forced gender surgeries are not a real problem. But they are often invoked as though they are a real problem to cast doubt on the ethics of all transition in real-world transphobic rhetoric, and so the use of them as a horror trope is far from neutral. Simply by suggesting such a thing really is something to be feared, you're implicitly acknowledging the existence of, basically, a transphobic conspiracy theory.
(A similar argument is often had in relation to the famous 'is Silence Of The Lambs really transphobic if it has a passage about how the serial killer isn't a REAL trans woman', regarding the fact that positing that there might be violent men pretending to be trans women to do terrible things is in itself simply an invitation to scrutinize trans women for signs of that supposed dangerous "fakery".)
Spotlight: Arcee on a conceptual level relies upon the idea its audience can accept this invocation of the concept and revel in the horror it inspires in them. Some things in fiction we accept despite them being clearly bullshit, obviously, but we are motivated to suspend our disbelief, and that motivation is often telling. Zombies aren't real, but we pretend they are because of what they do for a zombie story. (Or, if the zombie story sucks, we don't, and we laugh at its failure to convince us.) In Spotlight: Arcee, the motivation to accept the deeply unrealistic concept underpinning it is one that is motivated primarily by a misogyny it assumes is present in the opinions of its audience. Put a pin in that; we'll come back to my arguing that case later when we discuss Furman's prior work. The main takeaway here is that the comic invokes a common transphobic trope that exists to associate transition with violation and threat.
There is also, as you mention, the fact that the comic makes Arcee a woman (by its own internal logic, where surgically altering someone's body non-consensually does that by default) and then has that as the direct cause of her going into a violent frenzy. Needless to say, 'once she was given some indefinable Woman-ness, she lost her shit and became unreasonable' is uh. Well nobody ever accused Furman of being good at writing women of any description, did they.
This isn't specifically a transmisogynistic issue as much as it is just. A generically misogynist one. The transmisogyny comes in basically because it exists in the same story as the above, and so can't be separated from the whole 'forced sex change' trope.
It's especially worth mentioning Arcee is given some innate, obvious "woman-ness" attribute in-text, like it's something that emanates out from her in a way other characters cannot help but notice despite not knowing what a woman is. Arcee is like 'you can't HELP calling me 'she', you just KNOW that something about me is NOT LIKE YOU' so the metaphor is uh. Not subtle. Women have a Thing and the Thing is Woman-ness and also if you have it you go nuts. (Sidenote: as well as being offensive, this comic is just... REALLY badly written. This part makes no fucking sense.)
So those are the two main reasons it gets called transmisogynistic. Not only because of the things that happen in the comic, but because of how they interact with pre-existing stereotypes in broader pop culture and media.
But there's another reason Transformers fans specifically will point to this comic as an issue, and it's that this whole thing is Furman doing a meta-commentary on why he thinks "woman in Transformers comic bad". Furman has made it clear many times since his original run with Marvel that he thinks Transformers "having gender" is stupid- specifically, he thinks Transformers being women is stupid, because only women have gender and the default is implicitly masculine to him. (Optimus Prime being a masculine looking guy embodying stereotypically masculine traits voiced by a man who is called 'he' is fine, but Arcee is a no-no.)
He wrote a comic for Marvel about how Arcee was created to appease angry stupid human feminists, like this is in-universe why Marvel Arcee is a girl there- it reads completely as some sort of commentary on what he sees as 'political correctness' being forced onto the franchise.
And he kept doing this. His never-realised plans for the female characters in Dreamwave included all the women being revealed as Quintesson sleeper agents. Then, Spotlight: Arcee, where her existence as a woman is an artificial, deeply wrong imposition into a universe that has no need of her or anyone like her, a corruption of what these characters are "supposed" to be.
That it leans specifically on transmisogynistic tropes is less because it's deliberately going for that I think, and more because pop culture often pulls out transmisogyny to communicate a lot of the ideas here about womanhood as artificial or bad or corrupted or whatever. So when you reach for tropes to communicate these concepts, the overlap with media more specifically evoking transmisogyny is pretty much inevitable past a certain point. I don't think Furman wrote Arcee in this comic intending her to be a trans woman, even a horrible stereotype of one. I think he wrote her to be a metaphor for how "forcing" women into things where they "aren't needed" is unnatural and bad, and the easiest tropes that communicated that idea were ones about trans women, and what this says about society's broader transphobia is telling.
This was a lot of words to say about a short, bad comic that almost nobody has read by a guy whose career mostly consists, these days, of comics almost nobody reads. I probably wouldn't have wasted so many words on this comic except that I think it is a useful case study in how to recognise these sorts of things in works that sometimes evade notice because they profess not to technically "be about" trans folks. The key is not in what the "identities" of the characters are (they're fictional; they don't "have identities") as some defenders of S:A have insisted, but in what the tropes they use communicate and reinforce in a broader context. S:A is a shite comic. Don't read it. But if you read it, that's probably the most valuable thing you'll get out of it.
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J2 Main Panel DCCon 2022
The boy's chair spins so Jared starts playing with it and spinning, he's adorable.
Kicking off the questions is: How is the brewery doing? It's still kicking. Jensen says they were able to just keep their heads above water throughout the pandemic which was not easy but they're now doing fine and they just signed a distribution contract so they are growing. x
Since Crowley started feeling human emotions again after the trials and he redeemed himself do they think Jack would allow Crowley into heaven to be friends with the boys? Jensen jokes no, that he’s the King of Hell that's like being the coach for the other team. Jared says "maybe?" Jensen he doesn't think that was in the cards but with SPN anything can happen you never know. He starts to say if and when then changes it to when he and Jared decide to put the boots back on - which btw the boots Jared was wearing during this con panel are Sam's boots that he took from set - he hopes both Mark's are along for the ride. Then Jensen brings up Walker: Independence saying we’ll be seeing Mark be somebody else pretty soon and that Crowley found himself in the old west.For those that may not know Mark Sheppard is going to be in the Walker prequel, Walker: Independence. I find it so sweet that Jensen's the one who brings it up and he turns towards Jared to silently encourage him to talk about it; if we're proud of Jared for this new project I just know Jensen's feeling 10x prouder. x
Have their fans ever done anything really meaningful for them that they remember? Jared says many times, that he read something on twitter once about the money the fandom has raised for charity, and he also mentions the AKF candles from 2015 SDCC says that he still has his on his desk.
Also says that it's just as meaningful to hear from people about how much his work means to them and has impacted them it doesn’t have to be about money raised or candles just about human connection.
Jensen says the most meaningful thing to them is people showing up, and being invested that it's far beyond any material thing they could hope for but at the same time there are some pretty cool materialistic things they’ve been given; for example, Jensen had changed into a Soldier Boy shirt that by the sounds of it was gifted to him by a fan, he also mentions somebody had handmade him an spn blanket which was on the couch in his trailer for almost the whole run of the show that he would nap with; Jared jokes that it would freak him out, that he would tell Jensen "that's us" and Jensen would reply, all snuggled up in the blanket, "I know". Jared, you made it a habit to be there when Jensen took his naps? 👀 (that question is rhetorical I already know the answer to it; before we continue join me for a minute in imagining the two of them snuggled up together under a blanket to take a nap)
Anyways because the husbands were not husbanding enough Jensen acts as if he's snuggling the blanket and says "you're softer than I am for some reason I don't know why". No comment.
He also mentions there was a fan whose father made Christmas light strands out of old shotgun shells, and she gifted them some and he would hang them up in his trailer every holiday season they were filming. But that the greatest gift fans can give them is being there and showing gratification in any way, shape or form. x
If they could write each other a character and a role what would it be and why? Jared answers that as someone who has known Jensen for many years through many points in his life and seen him outside of filming situations he'd like the world to see Jensen play a dad.
Jensen would want to see Jared play a character that's intellectually driven, something like Neo, someone that breaks reality wide open and is kind of a thinking man in an action role. Because he thinks Jared is incredibly analytical and he can turn that aspect of his own personality into a great performance which is something he brought to Sam and did so well, and that's something that elevates the craft that he has, and Jared is really, really smart about how he does things, plays things, and presents things so Jensen would wanna make some sort of smart action figure for him. That's such a sweet, thoughtful answer ❤️
What quote inspires them? Jared's favorite is "pain is mandatory, suffering is optional." Jensen goes with "who let the dogs out?" 😆
In the episode Sympathy for the Devil, Jensen does some gun twirling and gun work how did he do that, how hard was it to learn? And did Jared take any of that or did he already know and took those skills to Walker? Jensen says due to the nature of the show and what their characters did they spend a lot of time handling a variety of weapons so they got pretty comfortable with them. He remembers there was an ep Phil Sgriccia directed and there was a motel scene with expositional dialogue, and it wasn't in the script but Sgriccia came up with the idea that he wanted Dean to be cleaning his and Sam's pistols and the shotgun and he wanted Jensen to do it without looking at them; so when you involve props in any capacity that's another element, another layer to remember because you have to do it the same way each time for continuity. You have to remember what you're doing, when, and how but also remember lines and give the performance so he would spend time in his trailer leading up to shooting that scene taking apart the guns, cleaning them, and putting them back together with his eyes closed.
Says they got exposed to that kind of stuff quite a bit which made them become pretty comfortable, and those skills and confidence is something that has certainly helped him since then; Jared agrees and adds that he grew up handling firearms and knowing fire safety basics so he was already comfortable enough but he believes in knowledge and safety when it comes to something like a firearm so he has spent time with specialist talking about what to do and how to handle it so it's certainly helpful. x
There was a non-question a fan just wanted to give Jensen a unicorn plushie which he named Barks because he went to pick up the plushie there was a doggie in the audience who started barking x
Have they brought their shenanigans into their other sets or has it been more serious? Jared answers that the Walker set is absolutely full of shenanigans, and can I just say that I love how Jensen's response to that is to go "yeah, it's Mitch, it's Keegan, it's you- me showing up to direct didn't help things" not only does it make me smile that months later he's still mentioning and talking about directing Walker so positively like he truly had such a positive and fun time but I also love the tone in which he says it like he knows the cast, and crew, and environment so well that to him it should be obvious that it's full of fun and mischief.
Anyways, Jared continued on to say that part of the reason they have so much fun is that they started filming in Oct 2020, still going through the pandemic everybody was kind of scared but they needed to get back to work so it was a friendly atmosphere but there was also tension and feeling like they were standing on thin ice so a good way to cut that tension was to have fun and remember they're not curing covid, they're trying to entertain people who might be affected by it and the pandemic. So they brought a fun, humorous, friendly atmosphere to Walker.
Jensen says Jared has more of the opportunity to set that tone on Walker because he's the big cheese over there while he has been more of a guest in other people's homes. But when he's given the opportunity to keep it light, and joke and have fun he has seized those opportunities, he has also found the people in the cast most likely to do that and quickly build a rapport with them; says he and Karl Urban quickly build a rapport that left everybody else going "oh, no", and that one time when they were on the bus being driven to set Laz Alonso told them "you're like the good one, and you're the bad one" but he didn't point at them so they had to ask him who was who. Jensen's the good one and Karl's the bad one because Jensen tells Karl the bad things to do 😂
Which is different than with Jared because with Jared he just instantly knew and they would jump into shenanigans together immediately. x
Out of all the performances they've done which has been their most challenging and they were most proud of? Or which of their other castmates performances were they most impressed by?
For Jared he mentions Mark Pellegrino as Lucifer, he thought he was amazing. And, once again, says his favorite version of Sam to play that wasn't Sam was soulless!Sam. But that once he got a grasp on what he was going to do as soulless!Sam it became easier than trials!Sam. Trials!Sam taught him a lot and really spoke to him as a person with what Sam was going through, and that remained challenging to the very end so that was probably the most rewarding on a personal level.
Jensen didn't get to go outside the box as much as Jared did with Sam but his favorite version of Dean that he got to play was scared Dean that it was a lot of fun to play a character that has faced so much and doesn't get scared very often being afraid of everything.
Other castmate that he has been impressed by is Ruth Connell, says anything he was on set with her he turned into an audience member that she's phenomenal and he would watch her do anything. x
What thing that they think might be unattainable do they wish they could do? As an example, the fan would like to swim with a blue whale in the open ocean which is next to impossible due to the marine mammal protection act. If the highest power on the planet told him he wouldn't die or get injured, Jared would base jump in a squirrel suit all the time. After joking around about flying squirrels, Jared says he wants to be flying Jensen and I need y'all to go see how he says it, and their reactions because this was flirting. x
Moving on to Jensen's answer he doesn't have one off the top of his head, says swimming with sharks and swimming with giant animals would be incredible, that flying with a suit and a bushy tail sounds fun 🤣. He thinks anything exhilarating and dangerous is always appealing but when you stop to consider if it's worth the risk it's like 'I don't know'. He always thought he'd wanna go swim with sharks but he's seen those cages collapse. He would probably put on that list traveling around the world like what Ewan McGregor did with his friend Charlie Boorman, getting on some motorcycles and going around the world the way they did that's something that's probably never gonna happen but would really be fun. x
When they leave this world how would they like to be remembered?
Jared wants to be remembered as somebody who cared about people. He doesn't care if anybody knows whether or not he's an actor, he'd like to be remembered not for what you can write down on paper about his life but as a nice guy who cared about people🥺
Jensen answers something similar, he says his grandmother used to say that the things that you do or the things that are done to you sometimes you can or cannot control but you can always control your character and you can control how you present yourself. Being remembered for the things he has done, whether professionally or personally, the milestones he's hit or the accolades, that's great but like Jared, he would wanna be remembered for having a positive influence on people in his life and knowing he's touched people in a way that made the world for the better. x
Between SPN and the shows, they're on now, which is more fun to play the characters in? They got 15yrs on one so they got to have a lot of fun and never got bored on the set. Jensen points out that it's a different experience that they're having right now because Jared's in a similar position on Walker as he was on SPN but he's not he's being a guest so for him he's sitting back and patiently observing what's going on and trying to figure out what he thinks he can bring to the mix that it might be missing while Jared's kind of creating the mix over in his world. But they had so much time on SPN to play and enjoy themselves, they grew up on that show and he doesn't know if they'll ever have the experience they had on it again but the great thing about it is they can always go back to it.
Jared concurs and also mentions he's having a ton of fun on Walker and he loves Cordell who's quirky and has a more available sense of humor than Sam did since Sam was more stoic, and that they're both parts of him. That he also learned a lot, that he jokes that if he had played Cordell Walker when he was 22 it would have been a totally different guy because he hadn't worked so much with Jensen and seen firsthand how to find humor in certain situations and how to while remaining true to the character express to the audience what the character was thinking. He feels it's hard to gage because he committed to Sam when he was 22 and he didn't play Walker till he was 38 and a lot happened; if he started playing Sam tomorrow for the first time ever it would be a more fun experience because he spend a couple episodes or seasons still trying to learn who he was and who he wanted to be so he feels more comfortable as Jared Padalecki and having a certain type of fun with Cordell while as with Sam he was still figuring things out so very different but both incredible. x
Who did Sam end up with? Oh boy, mistakes were made when answering this question.
As Jared tries to think up an answer Jensen asks the crowd if this is a discussed topic and what the general consensus is to which this particular crowd filled proceeds to shout Eileen. Jensen pretends they said that they don’t know but the crowd does not accept that and shouts again Eileen. I will take a second to divert and say that no that answer is not the general consensus those who think that speak for your fucking selves don't drag the rest of us into it.
Jared after realizing he has no other option, reluctantly goes with what the crowd wants. He also says some very nice things about, Shoshannah, the actress that plays her.
Jensen asks if not Ruby, or in this case Ruby's meat suit, to which Jared replies it's got a big hole in it from him (Jensen). It turns into a whole thing and really they should have quit while they were ahead instead of encouraging the crowd but like I said mistakes were made.
And the biggest mistake was Jared asking who Dean would have ended up with because he did not have the necessary information to calculate that some in this particular crowd would shout C's name. Poor Jensen looked like a deer in the headlights, he acknowledged the screams of Lisa but still some in the crowd kept shouting C's name. At which point Jared pretended that he heard someone say Ruby, acted like he was jealous about it and forced things back on track. Boys be smarter next time, don't entertain these things 🙄 x
Moving on: would they rather have finger-sized legs or leg-sized fingers? Much like Jensen, I wonder what kind of question this is but anyways, Jensen doesn't even know how to react to this question and Jared says leg-sized fingers cause you can just have them cut to size. The question came about because this fan was at a con in 2018 where Stephen Amell got asked this so the boys ask her what he said and she's pretty sure he said leg-sized fingers so they joke a bit about that. x
Last question! In their travels have they ever stopped at the towns that are listed in the episodes ie. the towns where the events take place? Jensen has been to Lawrence, Kansas, and Stull Cemetery, as well as someplace else that as much as I tried I couldn't understand what he said but a lot of the towns on the show are small towns so they've been to very few. Jared can't remember if he has or hasn't but says he's dying to go to Lawrence. x
And here's a timestamp to the boys with their arms around each other waving goodbye 💕
J2 Main Panel DCCon
#anti saileen#anti destiel#anti destihellers#j2 tinhat#mine#the panel started okay and then at the end got off the rails and didn't fully recover
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If you've had to deal with religious abuse, why do you still go to church and church camp?
Hiya! It's pretty complicated.
One of the main reasons is that I'm only just coming to terms that I've experienced religious abuse, because the experiences that back it up span my entire life. As long as I can remember, the church has been one of the most important and influential communities in my life. I was really isolated for unrelated reasons (it was hard to get out of the house), and for some of my most important social developmental years, the church and church programs were the only ways I could see my friends and peers and keep up consistent relationships with them.
Furthermore, I honestly still feel too scared to leave. One piece of rhetoric I heard every so often was that leaving the church would cut you off from moral accountability and your life would spiral down the drain because you were rejecting Jesus. Conveniently, they forgot to mention how most church heroes were dissidents. Because I heard that as a kid, it's conditioned in me to think that leaving the church = literal doom (yes the word doom was used). The fear of leaving the church is pretty deeply ingrained in me, and again, I don't think I'm ready to banish it yet.
Jumping off from that, I'm so used to saying yes to everything from the church I possibly could that it's hard for me to say no to anything. This week I didn't stand up during worship like everyone else because my back hurt, and even that decision was difficult and made me keep second-guessing myself. I don't want to leave until I'm confident I can defend my decision to every lovely, well-meaning, but poorly equipped and ill-understanding friend that tries to get me back.
Leaving the church would also cause a rift in almost all my relationships. Pretty much all of the people I'm close to in real life are Christians, with varying degrees of traditionalism and conservativism. Some people won't totally understand, but will support me anyway. Some people will understand completely. Some people won't understand at all and will be worried for me for all the wrong reasons. The decision wouldn't necessarily be a loud one, but it would involve a lot of snags and hard questions to ask and answer. Why don't you want to come to the barbecue? We're having a show and we'd like you to come. Mommy, why doesn't my grown-up cousin and role model to go to church? I miss seeing you at Bible study and church. We're going on this trip, and I'd really like to see you there! Leaving the church would involve leaving the community I've grown up in, and having to explain to a lot of people why the things that bring them so much joy and peace do the opposite for me.
Whoo boy. Okay. Deep breath. 👍👍
I think the succinct answer to your question is that I still go to church and other related activities because 1) I'm still conditioned against leaving and I haven't had the chance or time to undo that yet and 2) almost all of my relationships and community are found within the church. (Genuinely, you guys were the first serious nonchristian friends I ever made.)
(Also, these realizations have been coming slow but the knowledge of its severity only came recently, and I haven't gotten the chance to speak to my therapist about it yet.)
I'm not offended by you asking btw, and I think this actually helped me get my thoughts on the matter in order. Thanks for asking so politely!
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An Announcement
About Whispers: The United States of Christ
After much consideration and careful deliberation - and in light of the ongoing malicious attacks on POC, Jewish people, the LGBTQ+ community, transgender people, drag performers/venues, and others, as well as the heightened white supremacist activity and terrorism in the US (and technically across the world) and an uptick in their disgusting propaganda, etc. - I have made a very painful decision to put a hold on the timely release of new episodes for my Kindle Vella Story, "Whispers: The United States of Christ."
I'm not going to unpublish it or even mark the story complete, because it is nowhere close to being finished or over. And I am not giving up on it entirely. I will continue to write new episodes and will occasionally publish those new ones. I just won't be following a schedule or doing weekly releases at this time.
First - let me say this and get it out of the way - THIS IS NOT THEM WINNING! I am NOT doing this because I'm scared of them (although they can be scary and are always dangerous), or backing down, or taking a seat. I will continue to stand up for what is right and will continue to speak out even when it's not easy or comfortable.
I am, in fact, doing this for these two reasons:
1. I've come to realize that sadly, the audience who I felt needed to read it (a cautionary story such as this one) THE MOST is likely not ever going to. (even if ALL the episodes were free) Those who have been on the fence, and unwilling to make a stand - those who have been silent and continue to remain silent even when their friends and loved ones or others in their communities are being attacked for simply being themselves or simply existing - are the audience I hoped to reach the most when I started writing this story. But as things progressively worsen in America (and across the world), they are STILL silent and unwilling, and clearly, they consider this story to be "too uncomfortable" for them. And I won't even go there with the "you know if something like this were to actually happen, it wouldn't just be "the gays" who would be targeted," comments by straight white people who didn't even take the time to read any of the free episodes, which would have answered their own darn question, before attacking me.😑🥴
2. The other reason is that in light of recent events - like the recent targeted killings of gay people and allies at a gay club in Colorado and the continuous and ongoing attacks on drag story time or drag shows (two totally different things btw, grr) in addition to the attacks on transgender people across the country, and the vile and dangerous racist and antisemitic rhetoric being spewed and the violence being pushed, "suggested" and encouraged by certain politicians and/or those in positions of influence or power - (in light of these things) those who ARE willing and want to read this cautionary story, can hardly stomach it right now with everything going on. I myself had to take a break in writing the next episode after what happened in Colorado. Episode 8 went live the night before I woke up to the news. And I still haven't been able to finish writing and editing episode 9 even though it's the episode introducing the "good guys."
When I had the idea for the story and began this journey, I did so as much for myself, as anyone else. I felt it was a better and healthier way to deal with and cope with the rage I felt (and still feel) in response to the injustices happening every day, rather than just rage posting on social media to vent.
As an individual, a woman, a gay woman, a white woman married to a black woman, a mother, and as a member of a two-mom family, it is easy to feel powerless against all the hate. Easy to feel like my one voice could never make a difference. And so this was just one way for me to feel a little more seen and heard. One way to make a difference. And hopefully, reach just one person who really needed to read this story as much as I needed to write it, and perhaps even help someone else find their voice.
And maybe one day that will happen.
Like I said - I'm not going to unpublish or even mark the story as complete. Because it is nowhere close to being finished or over. And I'm not giving up on it entirely. I will continue to write new episodes (it really has been a great way to cope) and will occasionally publish those new ones. But only occasionally, unless Whispers somehow gains a readership, at which time I will reconsider and take another look at my original plan/goal of dropping an episode or two a week.
Despite the fact that it's sometimes painful and challenging to write, I have really enjoyed peeling back the layers of the characters in this story and the troubling and dangerous world they are navigating. And in light of this decision, I have also decided to announce the main character's name even though the episode announcing it, episode 9, hasn't yet been finished.
My plan was to finally reveal the main character's name (the author of the journal entries) at the end of the coming episode. But what the heck! Readers already know that Amora Begay is a strong, fiercely protective, quiet, wise, skilled, unique woman and they know her wife, Mrs. Lexi Begay, the author of the journal entries, to be every bit as strong, courageous, and fierce as Amora. And now they'll have a name for this courageous woman, the author of the journal, which will play a much bigger role later on when the rest of the story unfolds.
If you're still reading, (I know this is a long one) I just want to say thank you to those who have been encouraging and supportive from day one, and again give a big shout-out to my biggest fans, for always believing in me and in this story. And to my wife, Christina Washington @darkaries for inspiring me, and helping me shape and name the characters (especially Amora)
It has been an honor and a pleasure to write Whispers.
So this is not a farewell. I guess it's more like a "to be continued at a later date" kind of announcement.
And as always, *these opinions/thoughts are strictly my own and do not express the views/opinions of the platform I publish my story on*
For anyone who may have been following the haunting story of Lexi and Amora Begay, and would like to connect or chat - Please feel free to contact me at [email protected], until I get media accounts and author pages set up for my pen, Octavia Ambrose. (which is on my to-do list)
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Same lore anon who asked about rol vs shattered crystal. Back with a diff question. In ur experience, do you think that most boom fans are kids? Ofc a large proportion of sonic fans in general are kids, but like, asking about boom specifically bc it's more of a niche, and the humor (AT TIMES) suits a slightly older audience; like I find the show wayyy funnier now (in my 20s) than I did when it first came out (in my early teens). Basically what I'm saying is that when I post stuff, I feel like only children interact. Which isn't horrible ig but like, it sucks when I wanna have a deeper convo about lore or characterizations (I love both btw), u dig? Ofc u dig. Idk it just feels like there are zero active adults in here except you. Thoughts? Or am I not experiencing the norm?
oh man im actually pretty closed off to the sonic fandom (all fandoms, really) and if it werent for this blog id be that silent fan that shares other peoples art but no one would know who i was. and technically i guess that still is the case because i dont advertise my main blog so if you were to see me around you definitely wouldve never heard of me? anyway my point is that im really the last person to know about the age of the average sonic fan (boom or not) on tumblr BUT... from what ive seen i understand what youre talking about because ive noticed a lot of minors in the fandom and even the adults ive seen around are around the 18-21 range and not much older than that. i know for a fact that sonic fans that are closer to my age and even older exist out there, but in my experience many of them are more active on twitter and i dont feel like immediately redirecting anyone to that place because its twitter and twitter sucks. and thats not even going into my opinion of how adult sonic fans choose to engage with this franchise for KIDS because i swear ive seen some weird shit on here coming from them and im just kinda like, guys pls alkdjflk would you act this way with your other interests? rhetorical bc i dont want to know the answer to that
and thats me talking about just the sonic fanbase in general but a lot of this can apply to boom as well since... boom is still sonic lol a good handful of people just dont like it and the ones that do consume other sonic media and thus dont focus solely on it. between this, its lack of priority with sega atm, the less than universal acclaim that it has, and the fact that its just not old enough to really cash in on that nostalgia bait, its no surprise to me that theres a metaphorical tumbleweed blowing through the boom part of the fanbase right now. hell its not like i was aiming to be one of the few active boom fans when i made this blog, i just wanted a place where i could organize my ideas for the continuation i plan on (eventually) writing while i kept the rest of my sonic consumption on my main blog
anyway just because someones a minor doesnt inherently mean they arent capable of engaging in conversations about lore or characters, but nonetheless, i see what you mean - life experiences can have an effect on how we interact with media and if youre anything like me you probably prefer to talk to people closer to your age lol. idk i feel like my answer is all over the place but i hope you got something from it nonetheless!
#mailbox#Anonymous#i think theres also something to be said about boom just not being very 'deep' to begin with#the show purposely steered way from anything too heavy and whatever lore we did get in the games#was so severely mishandled that no one want to think about that trainwreck#as a result every time boom gets acknowledged chances are people are just talking about a particularly funny joke#or ships#anyway sorry again for the disjointed thoughts ive been having trouble with that lately
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hi :)
i’m sorry to hear that you had a bad day yesterday. i hope that you were able to give yourself some time to feel and then to recover because you deserve it! sending you lots of love and i hope that today was/is bit better.
what time zone are you in, btw?
my tbr is basically just any fic that i’ve seen someone like so it’s extensive and spans many ships and tropes so there’s something for any mood i happen to be in. i mark things for later on ao3 and it’s about 5/6 pages of fics… i can’t remember many off the top of my head but i want to read everything that eyra has ever written because i loved ‘a brief history of dragons’ so much and i’ve been putting off reading choices for forever but i’ll eventually get round to that. and of course black mass, i started it before exams but then i stopped so i’m going to go back and start it again.
i’ll have to give noah kahan a listen, everyone i know has been talking about him recently.
i love love love that you’re asking me questions back, you are genuinely making my day <33
good things recently… one of my friends, who i’m not particularly close to, bought me flowers for my birthday a few months ago after a conversation we had about how people don’t give flowers to each other enough, especially between friends. it was her birthday a few days ago and so i bought her some beautiful flowers and she was so happy with them. it feels so innocent and intimate to give flowers, i love it and i definitely will be doing it more often and without reason.
a lovely thing about my life at the moment is my friendship group. for a long time i’ve felt out of place with other people or not settled but now i feel so safe and comfortable with my close friends. it’s like i’ve suddenly matured and found my place. there are no arguments and no tension and it’s nice to relax into a group that is calm and loving and still exciting. i’ve finally got to the point where i’d have them over to my house just to do nothing with them and that’s saying something because i think domesticity is the highest form of flattery.
i’m looking forward to many things. i’m going to see a performance of the great gatsby tomorrow, i’m going to a harry styles show on friday, next wednesday i’m going to the bfi premier of asteroid city, the new wes anderson film and then next friday i’m going to a music festival, which i can’t wait for! after that it’s about a week or so until me and my best friend leave for our month long holiday through france and italy which i still can’t believe is happening!
sorry, i’ve been waffling for ages but questions:
- what’s your favourite picture on your phone and why?
- what’s your love language?
- what’s your favourite trope?
- what’s your favourite lyric of all time? do you write songs? if you have, what about of the ones you have written?
- if you could time travel, would you go backwards or forwards and what year for both would you go to?
again, sending you lots of love and hoping you feel better soon xx
ps. 264 HOURS
i ended up being a total bitch for a few days & concerning everyone around me, but i’m doing a lot better today! cried it out to the new noah kahan songs, reread looking for alaska, & the intersection of those two artistic experiences happened to help me realize why i was feeling the way i was. isn’t it lovely how art can offer you that? i’m thankful for that today. also thankful for your kind words!
i like your answers, especially in regards to giving flowers to friends. i’ve been thinking a lot about flowers, lately, both as gifts & as a symbol of finding love within grief. that’s a tad melancholic, but i think flowers are so beautiful as a sign of love (to anyone) because they imply a sort of commitment. a flower is going to wilt, so are you going to be there to replace it? rhetorical question. but anyway it makes me think of something john green likes to say about how love is not a feeling, but a choice we make again & again (loosely paraphrased!)
it sounds like you’ve got a wonderfully busy time ahead of you! have fun! lots of experiences. so jealous in regards to the harry show, omg, & the music festival? that sounds like a blast. (actually thinking of going to a music festival on thursday, so i wonder if it’s the same one haha!)
to answer your questions!!
i’m in est! same timezone as nyc. i’m pretty close to cst though. i feel a conflicting sense of loyalty to each timezone. i hope that tells you something about how bonkers i am in personifying things that have no business being that personified. but yeah it’s currently 3:30 am here. (4 now)
i don’t know if i have a favorite picture on my phone? there are a lot that represent really important memories, so it’s hard to choose a favorite. everything means so much to me in the moment. so i have a lot of favorites, but i’ll tell you about one. it’s a somewhat blurry selfie of me & my best friend sitting at a restaurant in savannah, georgia. i like that picture so much because that was one of the best nights of my life - and the best trips tbh, so iconic - and to me it represents a lot of things that bring me joy. (that friend is like the only person who reads these posts, so hello to her <3!!)
everything i do is done in an effort to express love. all of it. one thing that i find underrated is giving someone your time. what says ‘i love you’ more clearly than choosing to spend the day with someone? & what spells indifference more clearly than not making time for someone?
ooh, favorite trope! i think someone asked me this recently, & i can’t remember what i said? hm. well, if you’ve learned one thing about me from this, it’s that i hate picking favorites. but if i had to, i’d say enemies to lovers! i like reading about people learning to look at familiar things in startlingly new ways. i’m a sucker for a good road trip au as well, & stories about going back to a familiar place once you’ve changed quite a bit.
OH I LOVE YHIS. i love this so much. favorite song lyric!! okay omg i adore you for asking this.
all-time favorite: “i was cleopatra / i was taller than the rafters / but that’s all in the past now / gone with the wind” from cleopatra by the lumineers - i know that one’s technically like half a verse but UGHHH i can’t explain how much it means to me. and that whole song just means everything to me.
current favorite: “if i could leave, i would’ve already left” from paul revere by noah kahan. OUCH. this motherfucker from vermont captured my small town appalachian pain so succinctly.
favorite of mine: “i like to say i can’t get homesick for tennessee, ‘cause i’m always thinking of kentucky.” i love that line but it also haunts me because whenever i sing it, i get overwhelmed with this deep sense that the people listening Know Too Much lmaooo
time travel question! fun. okay so i have no interest in spending the rest of my life in the future or in the past, but i would like to spend a yom kippur in jerusalem in the time of the first temple. so that’s what i’d do if i could time travel. i don’t want to travel to the future at all, because that sounds like a lot of responsibility & i am a coward haha.
for your questions… there is a lot i want to ask you that wouldn’t sit well with your interest in continued anonymity, like what your name is, & how old you are, & where you’re from. also lots of other things that i’m not even gonna write here because they’re just embarrassing. i am giving you these instead!
- what is something kind that you wish someone would do for you?
- what is it that you like about anonymity? you could just as easily send asks with your name attached, so i’m curious what makes anon preferable to you
- and, of course, favorite song lyric? (also, favorite harry song? gotta ask)
sending good vibes & flowers 💐
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just saw your takes on Barriss Offee's possible destiny, and wondered: don't you think TCW kind of fundamentally misunderstood her character? also, don't you think her portrayal as a terrorist plays into some latent Islamophobia, given she's not only muslim-coded, but also resonates with muslim women?
i'd just like to know your opinion :) thanks for your time
okay, I am going to answer this to the best of my ability, and hope that we all take a deep breath and try to understand each other.
(I don't know Legends Barriss at all, btw, beyond that she was a healer and also that they aged her down for TCW so she'd be closer to Ahsoka's age. As soon as I thought about it, I got the Muslim coding, but my initial reaction was "nun". I do love people who struggle with their religion, and the balance of the ideals with the worldly practicality.)
To Answer The Question:
I think the way Barriss was written on TCW is fundamentally flawed. The writers fell into what I call The Representation Trap, wherein they (accidentally?) created a character who was coded as Muslim, and then when they needed someone for Ahsoka to react to emotionally, they brought her out again without thinking of The Optics. This happens in Star Wars ALL THE TIME, and even as a book author with a bit more freedom, I find myself fighting it off pretty regularly.
(Example: I super wanted to make Versé trans. BUT SHE DIES. I don't think that's, like, nice? If you're reading your first trans character in Star Wars? AND SHE BITES IT???)
Anyway.
Daniel José Older said that representation doesn't count if the character is dead, evil, or a stereotype. The main problem with Barriss is that her story is truncated and short. At the end of the day, she's CORRECT. Why is it so easy to forgive Saw (or, god help me, Crosshair), but BARRISS has to languish forever, her story cut off and untold while other characters get arcs and redemption options and so on?
(That was a rhetorical question)
This leads, naturally, into: Why me? Why do I think I am the person to tell that story? And it's possible that I'm not! There are a few Star Wars characters I wouldn't write, because I feel like other people should write them, but Barriss is someone that I would like to take out for a bit. I would be just as happy to read someone else's words, but I have been thinking about her and turning it over in my head and I keep coming back to the same thing:
The problem with Barriss Offee's story is that we never got it. They used her for emotional pull for Ahsoka, and didn't really think of the consequences. At least she LIVED (*glares eternally in Steela Gererra*). At least we can tell more of it if we get the chance. We can break through that stereotype and really give her the centre stage that she deserves.
A Twitter post can't really encompass all the things I feel about her, and it wasn't even my ideas for a book! It was just how I react to things I read on the internet, and my preferred order for them. Obviously if I do have my own ideas, I am keeping them to myself for now. :)
I hope that makes sense. I want to fix it, and maybe that's selfish of me. I spend a LOT of time thinking about this, pocket friends. I hope the decisions I make keep me in your good books.
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Request from the dms: yo! could I get another potential friendship story including two local assholes zora ideale and gauche adlai because that's a friendship I'm willing to die for, context is your choice - I'd love to see them being snark together haha! you're free to include other bulls too! please and thank you :DDD
Tag: @the-black-bulls
A/N: Hiya! Certainly! This friendship is one of those that I need to reason out for myself (but it’s okay because they need to figure it out too, so it’s all just figuring out). Oh, and btw, I had really fun talking to you. The convo brightened up my day ^-^
A03 link
Characters: Gauche Adlai, Zora Ideale, Magna Swing, Luck Voltia, Noelle Silva, Asta, and Yami Sukehiro
Genre: General
Fanfic type: Oneshot
Warning: mentions of alcohol
Length: ~1.2k
It wasn’t often that Zora sat down in a tavern for a drink, because sitting there, for all to see, didn’t really suit him. He could practically feel the eyes turning to him, whispering about him.
Not that he really cared. As long as people kept to themselves.
He had no qualms about stepping in on those ‘magic knights’, as they called themselves, harassing and tormenting regular people, if there was a need. But when it came to him, just minding his own business, and enjoying a drink for himself, only for someone to decided that his mere presence was a problem? That, is what he had a problem with.
But. It was a slow afternoon, and the village was relatively small, so he was able to sit by himself on the terrace of a tavern while sipping his drink.
People were walking by, going about their chores, and he let his eyes, along with the train of his thoughts, wander free. There wasn’t anything specific to think, or worry, not at that moment at least. So, it wasn’t a bad day. Though it wasn’t a particularly good day either. It was just a day.
The cold drink was nice though, on such a warm day; it was almost summer.
“Didn’t know you were here too,” spoke a familiar voice, almost as if a scoff, but more of an observation.
Zora glanced to his side, onto the other side of the terrace railing, seeing Gauche there with a bag full of toys.
“On a shopping spree for Marie?” He asked, turning his eyes straight ahead.
“There’s hardly anything new for her,” Gauche remarked. A simple as that.
A moment of silence fell into the air, where neither really knew what to say. If they had been at the base there would have been no need to say anything further. But now, there, in the village, it almost seemed like there was a need to do so.
“Want a beer?” Zora asked, lifting his bottle with another side glance to Gauche.
Gauche replied with a glance of his own, thinking if he should take on the offer. They weren’t exactly buddies, but they’d be in the village for some time longer, and… of he was honest, his feet were aching from all the walking he had done.
And besides, they sat around the same table at the base constantly. That didn’t make them friends, so… there was no reason why this would either.
“Sure,” he replied with his usual, low, monotone voice, before circling around and leaving his bag next to Zora as he got himself a drink as well.
Clouds floated by in the air as just the usual sounds of a quiet street lingered around. The chatter of passer-by’s, the sound of steps, of wind, of carts. Until there was the sound of someone running.
Zora lifted his eyes to see Magna sprinting past the tavern.
Not interesting.
Gauche sat down, placing his bottle onto the table and leaning back in his chair.
There was a sound of more running steps and laughter.
Luck ran past them.
“What are those idiots up to now?” Gauche asked, not needing an answer.
“What are they usually up to?” Zora replied with a rhetorical question of his own.
Noelle ran past them.
They both quirked an eyebrow.
“Noelle doesn’t usually run after them,” Gauche commented.
“That’s because royalty doesn’t run, and certainly doesn’t run after anyone,” Zora said with sarcasm seeping through his tone.
“WAIT FOR ME!” Asta ran past them.
Zora and Gauche turned to look where they were going, and stayed silent for a while. It seemed as if all onlookers were also staring towards the same direction with questioning frowns, wondering what was going on. But for Zora and Gauche, instead of wondering what was going on, they both had a brief thought passing through their minds; the thought of, if it would be better to walk away as if nothing had happened, or was this one of those instances where the numbskulls couldn’t deal with it by themselves.
But. As if by some shared decision they didn’t voice, they took a sip of their drinks, and decided that it wasn’t worth getting involved. After all, chances were that it wasn’t anything more than just mischief. Of some kind.
“What time did Finral say to meet up again?” Gauche wondered out loud, looking ahead of himself.
“Around five.”
“You think they’ll get manage until then?”
Zora took another sip with a thoughtful hum.
“Oy! Come back here!” There was another voice, this time that of Yami, who was marching through the street. The air around him was thick with his mana flaring up around him, the ground cracking under his feet. His eyes were fixed in front of him, as if trying to lock on a target.
Until they landed on Zora and Gauche.
“That way,” Zora nodded his head, gesturing towards the direction the rest had been running to, which was received with a nod and followed by Yami continuing his way forward.
Whatever the rest had done, seemed to be between them and Yami. And it was going to get settled sooner, or later. Better sooner, than later, for the rest of the Bulls, because Yami was a… good captain for them. But he also called the shots, and put a roof over their heads. It wasn’t good to keep him mad.
“No,” Zora continued, after Yami had disappeared from sight.
“No what?” Gauche asked, tilting his head up and looking at the clouds float by.
“They won’t manage until five,” Zora replied.
It was a strange moment for them both. They rarely talked. Anywhere. And they certainly weren’t talking a lot now either. But there was a strange sensation of calm; like neither needed to explain anything. Things just were. The Bulls were, for the most part, the family they both knew.
Of course, Gauche still had Marie to look after, which was more than Zora did, but… It wouldn’t have been quiet as good with just him and Marie. There was more… security, with this. This felt more like a family, even if he would never admit it out loud.
But even with all of the Bulls… Gauche couldn’t just sit like this, and not say a word. At least not without it feeling awkward on some level. Not all of them would understand the loneliness, the pressure, the spite to get back at the world. The wish to protect… for Gauche it was Marie and for Zora it was his father’s ideals; and the need, the almost need, to do so alone. Because it was theirs to protect.
It was a very strange sensation; a strange moment.
“No, they won’t,” Gauche agreed, downing his drink.
That was when he could have gotten up and left. His feet weren’t tired anymore, but… he didn’t mind having another drink.
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BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever
Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.
Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.
seriously, Nana
just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise
oh my god lmao
we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”
oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??
someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill
anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting
now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda
look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point
so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair
though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that
WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??
way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG
(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)
so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell
he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think
OH HELLO AGAIN
darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now
(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)
anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing
NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT
girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls
NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT
so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”
I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”
Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys
“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention
“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”
RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG
(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)
THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE
so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!
I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech
oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??
YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??
AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE
I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one
OH NO -- OH MY GOD
someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help
other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good
I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”
(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??
thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)
SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???
HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg
anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son
KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME
Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful
LMAO FIRST
“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”
(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)
so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things
dskljdlsklgk
yes... sure... “testing” you...
HEY
FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE
[SCREAMS]
WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!
(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)
fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace
#bnha 305#midoriya izuku#shigaraki tomura#shimura tenko#shimura nana#ofa the first#banjou daigorou#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#'deku. sweetheart. your other vestiges and I just want what's best for you'#'have you tried... *not* saving people?'#only to backpedal SPECTACULARLY when he was all 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT SAVING THEM'#yeah okay guys#you're not fooling anyone#but it's okay I still love you
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Hi! I'm (very) new to your blog, and I was wondering why transphobia is racist? /gen
Is it to do with the "other cultures have historically had more than just two genders, and ignoring that nb people have existed forever is disregarding the existence of other cultures"? Or is there something else I'm missing?
(No need to feel obligated to answer this btw, I would appreciate it but I'm not going to throw A Fit if you don't lmao)
Thank you!
You know more than most people get, so ⭐⭐⭐
Gold stars for you.
Depending on the culture a lot of the cultures with a "third gender" are intersex people, and a lot of them are nonbinary or trans.
(But either way, intersex people are often the victims of transphobia. So even if they don't identify as trans, I'd still include them in discussions about transphobia if they wanted that space. I follow a couple of cis intersex women on tiktok, and the number of times they've been attacked for being trans...)
But a lot of gods in other cultures are nonbinary. Which makes sense. Think about Christianity. God made men and women in his image? So he's both a man and a woman? I've seen similar concepts in a lot of religions. Even Pokémon mirrors this, the gods in this games are always genderless.
But another reason why I transphobes are racist is because transphobia rhetoric often mirrors racist rhetoric.
So we know trans people are valid because of this experiment. Trans-male brains looked more similar to cis-male brains. Trans- women's brains looked more similar to cis- women's brains. And scientists couldn't guess the gender identity of nonbinary people. Which concludes female and male brains are inherently different, right?
And that's fine.
But keeping that in mind. Transphobia people compare being transgender to being "transracial" (in quotes because transracial actually means a child that was adopted into a family of a different race, so this use of the word is incorrect).
Now, racists during slavery (and even today) would justify slavery by saying Black people are inherently different from white people. You'll often hear a racist saying Black people have a different brain than white people (they use this to imply Black people are less educated, but beside the point).
So, to summarize, because trans people are valid due to scientific research about the brain structure, comparing them to someone that identifies as a different race inherently implies that different races have different brain structures. Which is mimicking racist rhetoric that's been used since slavery.
And ALL OF THAT is why transphobia is racist.
(I don't mind answering questions. I always have like a lot of complex reasoning behind any stance I take. )
-fae
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If you ship Angmar/Khamul can you draw something or write something short for it? If you don't ship it or don't want to that's totally fine too I don't want to pressure you or anything (I love your tides of war fic btw).
So I'm like the Schrödinger's Cat of romance so uh....enjoy Part II of the Wrong Way to Write, set 1 week after Part 1. Aka the girls are fighting again!
As always, my ask box is open to requests!
The Wrong Way to Write II
Part 1
“What are you doing?”
Khamul pauses, only for the instant it takes for him to recognize the voice, before he resumes his stirring. He does not want anything to settle to the bottom of the pot and burn, after all. That would be a waste, which Khamul found he hates almost as much as their lord does. Almost.
Perhaps, if he ignores him, Angmar will go away.
“I asked you a question, Khamul.”
Or not.
“Oh yes, I heard you,” Khamul replies, forcing his tone light and jovial, never letting his stirring pause. His back is towards the door, though he must have been rather distracted to have not heard Angmar enter the kitchen. After all, Angmar has a tendency of stomping wherever he goes. Usually, it is hard to miss and usually, it is easy to avoid.
“Then why did you not answer me?”
“I thought it was rhetorical, as the answer is obvious; I am cooking.”
“Why?” Angmar asks, which is only the second stupidest question he has asked in the last few moments.
“…Because I am hungry?” Khamul replies. Why else would he be doing this, if not to eat whatever he has created in the end?
“But you do not have to cook for yourself. The goblins can-“
“I have seen the goblins eat one another if they feel particularly peckish. You’ll understand my apprehension to touch anything they have cooked, if you can call it that.” Not to mention that goblins did not seem to care about seasoning or not burning food. Honestly, it was surprising that Angmar put up with their food at all, given his propensity for pickiness. “Besides, I enjoy cooking, as foreign to you as that may seem. I am shocked you even knew where the kitchens were.” Shocked, and irritated since it seems one less place in the tower is now safe from Angmar’s attention. The kitchens can apparently join is own quarters in places that are not sacred, given that only a week ago Angmar had burst into there with equal amounts of discourtesy and quite literally dragged him out of his bed by his foot in order to try to learn how to write properly.
Which he had failed at.
“I am shocked you decided to take up cooking as a hobby,” Angmar comments from the doorway. Why is he still here? “It seems well beneath you.”
Khamul isn’t certain if he should be insulted by that or not. The comment is not quite jaded enough in tone to openly offend. Apparently he ranks highly enough in Angmar’s perceived worldview that labors suck as cooking are beneath him, which Khamul supposes could be a compliment if he squints hard enough at it and does not try to analyze the words too much.
“It is hardly a hobby, as I have done it near every day since I was a child,” Khamul replies idly instead. Perhaps, if he keeps his answers shorter Angmar will grow bored and leave.
“Every day?”
“As often as I eat, so yes. Sometimes even twice or thrice a day, if I find myself particularly hungry.”
“Does our master know you spend so much time each day devoted to frivolous things?” Angmar says, and Khamul can not only hear the smirk in his voice but can practically feel it upon his back.
“Does our lord know about the half-melted pile of scrap metal in your room?” He shoots back, and that is enough to make Angmar hesitate enough to go quiet.
Quiet enough that the only noise between the two of them is the scraping of the wooden spoon against the bottom of the pot.
Good. Perhaps he will take the hint and-
“It just seems strange, that you would grow up within a palace but still be forced make your own meals,” Angmar says, breaking the silence just as quickly as he made it. “Was it to ensure they were not poisoned?”
Damn.
“I did not grow up within a palace,” Khamul murmurs, having little desire to continue down that particular thread of a conversation. He forces the words out, lowers his tone pointedly.
Angmar, as always, drags him right back into that which he least wants to do.
“Some estate then,” Angmar responds flippantly, gratingly and Khamul wants to shake him. Surely, he has to understand his experiences are not universal? He must understand that. “Regardless, I am sure you had servants that could cook for you.”
It is only by biting his own tongue that Khamul manages to avoid yelling.
“Did you need something, Angmar?” He asks instead, forcing his tone to be as neutral as he can possibly bear.
“…No,” Angmar replies, lies, as if Khamul will not see right through the hesitant pause, the pitched up tone. Angmar is a particular sort of bad liar, the kind that is so obvious yet so oblivious in his obviousness. Khamul has met children who are more fluent in the language of deception, and having already endured this foolish, unnecessary conversation it’s enough to make him feel rightfully frustrated and too much to contain
“Then why are you bothering me?” Khamul hisses, spitting the word like a curse as he jerks the wooden spoon out of the pot and slams it upon the table next to him with a crack.
“Do not snap at me, Khamul!”
“Then stop wasting my time,” Khamul snaps, if only to spite him. “Stop pestering me for conversation I clearly do not wish to indulge in. Stop intruding on my space when there is an entire tower full of creatures that you can bully around.” He is tired of this charade of conversation, tired of Angmar specifically. How often did he have to escape to their lord’s workroom, choosing to subject himself to paperwork just to avoid Angmar? “I am busy, Angmar. For once, go bother someone else!”
There is a loud smack as Angmar slams his hand against one of the wooden tables by the door.
“Fine,” Angmar snarls venomously from somewhere behind him. “I’ll find someone else to help me.”
The door to the kitchen slams shut with such a force the stone archway shakes. It is quickly followed by the angry stomping of boots down the hallway.
Ugh.
Khamul does not know, nor care what Angmar needed help with. Something foolish no doubt. Something that Khamul is certain will only land him in trouble as well if he involves himself in it. It’s far better to distance himself from it. The less he knows, the less he can be punished. Their lord is fair like that, as long as Khamul is honest when he states he does not know anything.
He shoots a frustrated glance towards the door, when his gaze drops towards the table near the door where Angmar was standing. There is something laying on it that was not there before…A scroll? Frowning, Khamul gives the pot a quick stir before darting over to the table to grab the cylindrical scroll and quickly returning to the fire as not to leave the pot unattended.
He unrolls the paper and immediately fumbles the quill that drops out from inside, nearly swatting it into the fire on instinct. He manages to catch it between to fingers by the end of the feather before it is doomed to the flames, however, and sighs before turning his focus to the scroll.
It is blank.
For a moment he wants to be frustrated. He was interrupted and yelled at for what? The damned paper is blank, and a quick turn of his wrist confirmed that yes, it is blank on both sides. Khamul knows their lord hates waste, so the perfectly good scroll will need to be returned to their lord’s workroom. A long trip upstairs awaits him now since Angmar cannot even be bothered to clean up after himself. Oh no, instead he must leave his messes about for others to fix.
Khamul begins to roll the empty scroll back up, and starts to slide the quill back into it when he pauses, noticing something he had not before.
The quill is broken.
Or, rather, at some point it had been broken. It has been repaired somewhat haphazardly with a band of metal that is probably worth more than the quill itself does. The band makes the quill somewhat more awkward to hold now that it is thicker around the middle, and heavier overall than it should be. Moreover, it is clearly not their lord’s work keeping this quill together. The craftsmanship is shoddy, uneven, and bits of the feather have been smoldered as if held too close to the flame while the metal was being cast. Their lord would have a fit if he saw this, both for the wasted metal and for poor quality.
Still, the very familiar quill carries with it an unspoken offer.
“I will help you if you ask it of me.”
…Damn.
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Do you ever get that vague worry that the old discourse is gonna pop up on Tumblr because it’s popping up on other social media platforms like Twitter? Because the idea that discourse could also migrate back to Tumblr (in addition to migrating to Twitter) is very worrying, and I don’t use Twitter so I’m not sure how likely it is, if it’s at all possible, but I just. Don’t want that discourse to come up again lmao
(These questions are rhetorical and just me voicing my thoughts, don’t feel pressure to answer them btw)
-tap dancing anon
hmmm. I understand the concern but I would be surprised to see it? If only because the general culture of overall tumblr has (mostly) so far shifted from discoursing, and hermitblr in particular now is so stubborn about how to avoid fighting and discourse that I dont think we would stand for anything like 2019 again. Weve had some little snags and hiccups along the way but there hasnt been any sort of major discourse in this community afaik despite those, which is a good sign
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Hey there! I'd like to hear your thoughts about this. Jkr never put a lot of thought into voldemort as a character did she? The fact that his villainy is oversimplified to be "conceived under a love potion and hence can't love" although there are instances where he has loved. The narrative that is put forth is that every child who was conceived through unhealthy relationships, abandoning parents and difficult circumstances is destined to be incapable of love. (There are problems/issues because of these circumstances but it's not a doomed-to-be-unloved situation)
The abuse he faced or the trauma was never explained and neither was his nature which can be either perceived as arrogance or as self-preservation in his formative years..
I love your blog and analyses btw!🖤
i couldn’t agree more. i don’t know if you are familiar with what i usually write about voldemort as a villain and as an all-around character, but what you are talking about is not only something i always mention when i discuss him in a more complex, adult manner, but much more importantly is deeply linked to what i think about the hp series in general and to the one, major issue i have with it in particular. this is something i consider very important and, honestly, a topic that is never stressed enough: jkr wrote an overly black and white children book, where oversimplification is the fundamental fabric of everything and i find it all very problematic, to say the least.
i understand the series started as a children book and that characterizing so generically and so stereotypically serves as a great advantage to sell copies, since virtually everyone can draw their own conclusions about pretty much every single character of the series and therefore identify, but hp more often than not proudly poses as a moral compass, as a good-vs-evil lecture, aiming to accompany children into adulthood hand in hand (both the books and the movies literally grow in tone, length, targeted audience and themes with the children who are consuming them), so it’s not unfair of me to be concerned about what exactly these morals have been teaching children and then teens (myself included) for more than twenty years about reality, even as a fantasy series.
i often say the characterizations of its heroes is the thing that scares me the most about the hp series. the entirely of the “good guys” in these books lack basic normal human reactions. they all went through hell one way or another, harry constantly witnessing every last one of his family relations dying/growing up abused and hated/discovering he was raised literally to be slaughtered by the man he looked up to the most, ginny being possessed/forced to kill/almost murdered in tender age by the literal devil and whose trauma is never mentioned again, hermione having to erase the memories of her parents - you know, the list goes on and on. the one thing that all of them have in common tho, is their non-consequence to horror. and that’s wildly unhuman. aside from a little sadness, some stubborn dementors chasing bad memories and sporadic plot-serving nightmares, none of the heroes is really effected or damaged by what happens to them. when normal people would have spiritual crisis, ptsd, depression, manic episodes, you name it, jkr is feeding us the idea that really good, brave, strong, valuable people remain unaffected by trauma and that only the weak, wrong, damaged and therefore evil ones are. and i find it beyond disturbing.
paradoxically enough, voldemort is the only prominent example (probably along with snape and draco, but in a very different way) of “normal” human behavior when a child is exposed that much to trauma and abuse in tender age. jkr never really explains voldermort beyond her rhetorical “he’s wickedness personified” motto, yet the little characterization she gave him is entirely built around trauma - a trauma that she openly equates to evil. voldemort is a child born out of rape (there’s a metaphorical love potion and therefore he’s unable to love - leaving aside the idiocy of it, how sick is that? as if a child should carry the faults of his parents, as if all children born from rape were emotionally disabled or soon to be psychopaths! what exactly she wanted to prove with this point will forever be beyond me), a child abandoned to abuse and poverty in the middle of ww2, a child i’m sure shunned for his magical powers if not worse, a child without a single resource on the planet but himself, a child to whom no one, ever, not even later in the wizarding world, ever gave a helping hand or genuine affection (he was literally sent back to a world war because “no one can live in the school in the summer”, i mean!). of course he had to react to survive, of course all that left him scarred, because it didn’t leave him annihiliated! tom and harry share the condition of the orphan, but while harry was loved by his dead parents, glorified and rich and adored, voldemort was unwanted, discriminated against, bullied, poor and ignored. had dumbledore treated tom as he had treated harry (not that he treated harry that well if we really analyze it, but still), had his mother not abandoned him and died, jkr herself said lord voldemort would have probably never existed.
is this a correct way to stereotype human nature? is this a good message to give children? the only plausible human in there is the psychopathic super villain who is physically unable to love?
i like to think voldermort differently. i do think he could, of couse he could, actually love - as we all can if we allow ourselves to. he’s too complex, too intelligent, too whole as a character to lack anything, both for the good and for the bad. i like to think that maybe amortentia (aka the entirety of his early life experiences) left him dissociated and unable to *understand* his feelings in general and love in particular. maybe he didn’t dare to love anyone. maybe he dared once.
i like to think this way because the way jkr characterizes is nothing short of a disgrace.
the question people ask me the most is precisely this, if i think i’m giving voldemort much more depth than the author actually intended in the first place. my answer is always the same - yes, of course i do. voldemort is beautiful the way i imagine him, as a real plausible person, as a deeply flawed and multifaceted and scarred human being who turned to darkness in search for a home and a reason and that had ultimately found one, as terrible as it was. he certainly deserved more, from a literary point of view. yet i understand it was convenient and safe for jkr to only ever play with his godly, evil, black and white facade.
#lord voldemort#hp#tom marvolo riddle#bellamort#asks/replies#anon#one and one thousand stories lis told#thank you dear <3
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