im GENUINELY about to have a stroke rn. i was in the living room, sitting on the couch, bc i was waiting for the floor that i just washed to dry. my roommate comes home. i go into the bathroom to check the floor and some of the pads that i use for my floor mop that i had HAND fucking washed, and in a matter of FIVE fucking seconds he goes in the living room with his doordash and now he’s eating in the clean living room that i vacuumed and wiped the coffee table of earlier, and watching tv. i got up for two fucking secondssss. TWO. did not ask. just went and sat. this is just further proof to me that all the bullshit he fed me in the beginning about it being my apartment too, my space, etc etc was allllll fucking bullshit. it would have been more subtle if he lifted his leg and pissed all over the couch to mark is as his territory. also as i was at the sink washing the dishes for BOTH cats and cleaning out their water fountain that i bought, he shoves in behind me to get a paper towel from the roll that IIIIIII AM THE ONLY ONE THAT FUCKING BUYS. he’s making it very clear that this is HIS apartment and im not wanted or welcome. like……idk what to do anymore. im afraid to talk and make noise when he’s home. i stay in my room. i just continue to do the household tasks i usually do bc stopping them would make me miserable bc i can’t stand when things are dirty, he it wouldn’t even prove a point bc he doesn’t care. this is fucking miserable like i HATE being here and around him. it’s constant. my anxiety is through the fucking roof to the point where im legitimately concerned i have an ulcer??? hhehehhehhe love that for meeee

she's so fucking mean 2 me

took me a month to realize that i actually work with a bunch of idiots

"Dad issues"

"Mommy issues"

Nah-uh, I'm the issue

😍 fuuck

Oh man just when I thought I've seen it all here I come across a bunch of pro-isreal blogs calling the Irish juddenhassen and characterizing them as "drunk football hooligans cosplaying as Palestinian" ... Talk about having a shallow and deliberately dismissive understanding of a country's history. I can't possibly imagine the history or conflict that makes Palestine relatable to the Irish. Also the 'cosplaying' dig is hilarious because you definitely wouldn't respect them more if they were actually Palestinian!

kill't a beastly disgusting pulsating flying hornet thing the size of my thumb in the basement someone be proud of me for braving that

sneeg and niki siblings is real to me

overthinking about a silly stupid poll which shouldnt actually be upsetting but well.

💭

.

I want to off myself

I just want to say for all my ancestors gave up to be called white when they can tell the difference they're still cruel it isn't the same but the way I was grassed in all white places for standing out with red hair hypersexualized since childhood and always touched without consent from tugging and pulling to weird caresses and little braids ppl left when I wasn't looking waiting I Lines and siut when it was real long (my hair was like ass length at one point)

I'm still a specifically because ... they really don't think redheads are real

Short stocky and red is like "oh wow aren't you a funny a relic I thought we threw you all away"

The only ONLY people who ever asked politely were older Irish people who'd say I reminded them of someone they'd loved and lost or had to leave behind esp when I was a young girl

And id happy let them hold my hair up or whatever they wanted

I'm like shaking with rage thinking about how we set our own culture on fire for THAT

So I could be in these extremely white situations (read Christian private school ) and still be what? Ostracized but I'm still allowed to attend so it's fine? Give me a break like literally

It's nothing compared to what I've witnessed the same people who did that to me do to black and brown people but it's not how they treat eachother I just

Wish I had any word for it growing up because it was more than bullying and my family didn't believe that they .. didn't trust me and I didn't understand why I thought something was wrong with me or that I'd done something

My crime was looking different in a way they'd been taught even as children to reject

I'm so angry I literally can't even think about how alone I felt and how when I moved to a public school with majority minorities it stopped right the fuck away. So much kindness and cultural exchange even tho I didn't have alot to give.

i desperately need to hit mcrtwt with a stick. repeatedly. until it quits speaking

think i just got flirted with