#been frustrated with the way I color my stuff recently | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr’s reach among the 26-to-35-year-olds in the US is 11%.

#been frustrated with the way I color my stuff recently

moonstruckme · 18 days

Note

hey lovely! if you’re up to it, would you be able to write something w james or remus with comforting a reader who’s insecure about her skin/having broken out? i’m totally not projecting (i get chronic rashes on my face and one broke out recently and it’s making me sooo self conscious because my birthday is soon and i wanted to feel pretty 😖)

thank you!! mwah!!!

xoxo @mareagirls

Hi Rosa my love! Thank you for requesting and happy early birthday!!

cw: reader is insecure about her skin

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 750 words

You scrub at your skin with your fingertips, pads pressing harshly as you distribute the cleanser over your face. Then turn the tap as cold as it can go, splashing water and scrubbing again to make sure the product is all gone.

“Alright, enough of that,” says Remus as you towel your face dry. You look up to see your boyfriend watching you in the mirror from the bedroom. He tents his book beside him on the bed, beckoning you over. “Come here, bring your stuff.”

You turn around to look at him. “Why?”

You can see Remus intentionally smoothing the pique from his expression, gentling it into something kinder. “Just come sit with me, please.”

You gather your things off the bathroom counter, carrying them into the bedroom and plopping down in front of him on the bed. Remus knows your routine. He takes a washcloth from you wordlessly, wetting it with product.

“Close your eyes.”

You do, and he starts swiping the product gently over your skin, starting at your jawline and working his way slowly upwards, following the planes of your face. His free hand is wrapped loosely around the side of your neck to steady the both of you.

“Why are you doing this?” you murmur, trying not to move your face as you speak.

“Couldn’t stand seeing you look so angry with yourself,” Remus replies, matching your volume. His voice is low and raspy, inlaid still with traces of frustration. You hadn’t realized you had been looking like that. “S’like you’ve no idea how pretty you are.”

There’s a thick pause. The washcloth shushes over the skin of your forehead, and you can feel Remus’ gaze boring into your shuttered lids.

“I know you think I just say that,” he says, setting the washcloth down on your leg. You open your eyes, and he’s squirting moisturizer onto the pad of his index finger. His eyes flit up to yours, the color of honey or perfectly steeped tea. You look away. “I don’t. I wouldn’t bother saying anything if you weren’t as lovely as you are, and it’s insane that you don’t know it yourself. I mean, we’re looking at the same face, aren’t we?”

Your lips twist upwards as you close your eyes and Remus sets his hands to your face again. He smooths the moisturizer into your skin with thorough, loving strokes.

“I do feel pretty, sometimes,” you admit. “Just not so much when my skin is acting up like this.”

“Not sure how that changes anything.” His voice is gruff, audibly judgemental in the way you’re sure only he can manage. It coaxes a soft laugh from you, and Remus’ thumb swipes extra affectionately over your cheekbone, approving. His tone lightens. “Really, dove, it’s not like the rest of you just disappears because you’ve broken out. You’re just as lovely. I’m not sure anything could change that, short of reconstructive surgery I suppose.”

You roll your eyes. They’re still closed, but you hope he sees the motion anyway. “You’re being too nice to me. I know it’ll go away eventually, but it’s still not the same as when my skin is clear.”

“It’s not,” Remus allows. “Of course it’s not the same. But that’s like saying I’m not the same with my scars as I was without them. And I still managed to snag you all mangled-looking.”

You open your eyes, despite his hands still moving over your face. “You’re not mangled-looking,” you say. You know Remus knows this, but it feels important to tell him anyway. “I love you with your scars.”

He smiles softly, and you close your eyes again, satisfied. “Then you see what I’m getting at,” he says. “I love you like this, just the same as when your skin looked a bit different.” His touch arcs over your eyebrow. “And everyone else loves you just the same, too.”

You hum, a pleased sort of capitulation. “You’re such a sweet talker.”

“Doesn’t take much imagination to tell the truth.” You can hear Remus’ smile. “You’re always lovely, dove, but I like you best when you look like you feel lovely, too.”

“I’ll try,” you say. He hums satisfiedly, thumbs brushing twin paths across your cheeks. “Is there really still product to rub in?”

“Mm, not strictly speaking.” Remus’ lips press, soft and sweet, to your freshly moisturized cheek. He doesn’t seem to mind the bumps. “But I think I’d better do this a while longer just to be sure.”

448 notes · View notes

rallentando1011 · 3 months

Note

hey so can I get a scenario with rottmnt Donnie where he keeps stealing his lovers purple stuff, he notices them not having purple stuff around anymore and one day they are like “yea so I don’t buy purple anymore. Too much stuff is disappearing. Hmmm I wonder where it keeps vanishing too? “ and they give him a knowing smirk?

Purple Habits Die Hard (rise Donnie x gn Reader)

(Hello! Thank you very much for the requests-I am really enjoying them and promise I’m working through them-

I am open to more requests, guidelines are HERE, and I’m not saying that I specifically would like writing some Donatello angst but yes I absolutely would-

Either way, I hope y’all enjoy!)

Word Count: 1082

You didn’t love him anymore.

That was the only logical conclusion Donnie could reach.

Was he grasping at straws with that hypothesis? Likely. But the fact that there were even straws to grasp in the first place was enough to raise his suspicion.

Data point 1: You hadn’t worn purple in weeks. Not really a commitment, definitely not a symbol of possession, wearing his color was just a symbol that he was in your thoughts. The lack of that implied that he wasn’t plaguing your mind like you did his. At least, that’s what he picked up from it.

Data point 2: You barely invited him to hang out anymore. The last few times you two had seen each other had all been initiated by him, three to be exact, and all of those instances had occurred at the lair. Not your residence, not some fun locale, the lair.

Data point 3: …

Well, to be completely honest, he only had the two. However, how unscientific or illogical his hypothesis was mattered not.

Something was awry.

And he was going to get to the bottom of it.

A text message drew Donnie out of his downward spiral line of reasoning.It was from you, alleging that you were almost to the lair.

Right. He had been so busy plotting and scheming that he nearly forgot the subject of such endeavors, and that he had invited you over for investigation and/or confrontation.

He needed to get ready.

He tugged off the lavender sweatshirt he’d taken from your place a couple of months ago, the chain of your stolen lilac bracelet jangling as he did so.

Oh yeah. He should probably take that off, too.

He didn’t want to seem like a kleptomaniac.

He barely had time to chuck the articles into the deep recesses of his lab and act like he was busy working on some project before you knocked and entered the room.

“Heya, D.” You plopped down on the desk chair adjacent to his seat and spun around once.

His answer was a disinterested hum.

You summed it up as him being busy and started scrolling on your phone before he spoke up.

“My, what an opulent blue shirt you have on.”

That was an odd comment, and were those hints of disdain in his voice? You continued on anyway. “Uhhh, thanks? It’s just a graphic tee, though..?”

“Oh, don’t undersell it. It’s rather nice.”

“...Okay then.”

You weren’t following. He grew frustrated.

“Yes, it is grand, but would it not look in another, similarly shaded cool color?” He prompted.

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

His eye twitched. You grinned.

You tilted your chair in his direction, tone lightly teasing. You two indulged in some lighthearted banter here and there, and that’s what you thought that was. “What, are you saying it’d look better in purple? Your color?”

“I’m not saying that I interpret the colors of your clothing symbolically, but yes, I do. You haven’t been wearing any of your purple articles recently, you barely invite me over anymore. You can just admit you don’t enjoy my company.” When his gaze fled to the ground, you realized that he was serious about this.

“Donatello…” you started, dipping your neck down so you could make eye contact. “That is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. The reason I haven’t been wearing purple is because I don’t have any purple to wear. Something or someone keeps taking all of it. And, coincidentally, more goes missing every time you come over. That’s why I’ve been hanging out here instead.”

Donnie’s mouth was agape. The thought that he was the one causing his own problems hadn’t crossed his mind. Genuinely, thinking about it, it made a lot of sense. The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself was really ringing true. But he couldn’t let his scientific validity and his dignity die in the same endeavor, so he took the next logical step. Lie.

The softshell swallowed before uncertainly droning, “I haven’t the slightest clue as to what you are implying.”

“I think you’re definitely smart enough to ascertain my implications. And you’re way past smart enough to know that I still love spending time with you even though I’m not wearing a specific color anymore.”

Donnie blinked. Oh. So, you two were cool, and he was actually just being melodramatic. He was still trying to figure out if that was worse than you being sick of him. It probably was. Probably…

However, he couldn’t dwell on that long. Something you said piqued his interest. The thing about the color of your clothing not holding any symbolic weight.

Expression growing subtly smug with the quirk of an eyebrow, he called your bluff. “If you are taking into account my intelligence, then should you not also observe that I am smart enough to discern the correlation between the formation of our partnership and you coming into possession of more purple attire?”

You blinked before countering with a smirk. “How would you know that I bought more purple clothes if I haven’t been able to wear them?”

Oh, Schrödinger. The only way that he would know, and the reason he did know, was because he had taken them

Regrettably, he mumbled. “... I plead the fifth.”

“Oh no you don’t. Public interest takes precedence over your individual rights, sir. Get subpoenaed, sucker!” You perked up in your seat and pointed an accusatory index finger at the man. “Where are my things?”

He crossed his arms.“You have no definitive proof that it was me. Your argument is circumstantial, at best. Good luck defending that in a court of law.”

Your excitement deflated. “Fine, fine. I suppose I must continue on without wearing purple, our color, forever.”

You batted your eyelashes sadly. It was a cheap tactic, but you weren’t afraid to stoop if it meant you could get your regular Donnie- you meant, wardrobe back. Yeah, you missed your clothes, but you missed having him over more. Probably.

It only took a couple more seconds for him to crack. “Sigh… Hey, completely unrelated segue, but could I come over tomorrow?”

“Suspicious timing, but I’ll allow it.”

“Great.”

“This meeting is adjourned.”

Somehow, by some otherworldly force/the magic of guilt tripping, your violet sweatshirts, t-shirts, accessories, gradually began showing up as the weeks went on.

By the same mysterious impetus, their return coincidentally synchronized with Donnie coming over.

172 notes · View notes

anamericangirl · 14 days

Note

I am fully on Israel and the Jews side during this war; but omg some of the hardcore Jewish leftists. I want to say I feel frustrated but I actually feel so bad for them. I saw a post where a christian girl was expression how stupid and evil she found Christians being antisemitic, and the post got full of people saying stuff like “but christianity is inherently antisemitic! It’s built into the very fabric ! It and you are always going to be antisemitic!” Like saying that on a post where someone is literally condemning hatred in their own community is ????? The whole “I have decided you are a bigot and can never stop being a bigot” talking point has always been one of my least favorites. And the posts I’ve seen where leftists Jews are expressing how terrible it is that Jews are now being seen as white, and they acknowledge that it’s being used to excuse any and all hatred towards them, and how they need to get people to realize they are a middle easter group. Which yes, you guys aren’t white, you are middle easterners; but shouldn’t this be making some of ya’ll question the whole notion on the left that white=bad and that’s it’s not okay to categorize different people in that way? It’s just sad to see so many of them going through the utter betrayal they have but are still clinging to the super left way of thinking and just seem totally lost. And I’m not even saying to go right; but to at least acknowledge that maybe the whole black and white “white straight Christian American=Bad Everyone Else=good” rhetoric was always going to go bad for anyone who peddled it? It happened to Asians too in recent years. And I’m absolutely not trying to say this is a Jewish thing, just a far leftist thing, because I can remember all the Jews (and Asians, and Latinos, etc,) who were really trying to sound the alarm that once they lost their place on the oppression hierarchy, a lot of these far leftists treat the minority groups they used to champion even worse than how they treat white people. I don’t know. I just feel sick to my stomach seeing all these people feel so heartbroken and betrayed by what they considered their close friends and community. I just wish this didn’t have to happen to them this way.

It really is sad watching it happen. It should be a lesson to them of the dangers of playing so hard into identity politics. It's an inherently bad way of approaching situations and they approach every situation that way. Wars are a little more complex than this skin color = good and that skin color = bad but they've let their brains get so damaged by that way of thinking over the years that they're really going to have to put in the work to change and I just don't see that happening.

It's such a shame.

#anon #answered

50 notes · View notes

simonsdoll · 1 year

Note

Helloooo my dear writer! So, here recently I’ve been hyper fixated on price, and ghost.

so, I was wondering if I could get some headcannons with those two *and whoever else you’d like to ad :)* of them with a reader who dresses more…alternatively, kinda? Just a darker brand of clothing, like Some chains, ripped pants, maybe a choker, the color pallet of all their outfits contains dark colors. Stuff like that.

it can be SFW and NSFW, cause not to sound cliché, I just REALLY think ghost would have a..‘thing’ for pulling on yt he chains n stuff.

You can dilute/take out any part you want, because this ask is also really specific, so I’m sorry!

have a great day/night, dear writer! 🍋-

141

With reader who wears

dark styled clothing

headcanons

Thanks again anon for the request! Yes I am going to make SFW and NSFW headcanons because why not 👀 let me know if you want more I’m always here!

Hope this is what you asked for. Hope you like it and Enjoy! ❤️

WARNING: NSFW CONTENT AND MDNI

PRICE

- Not his typical style but he doesn’t mind your style at all. He honestly finds it cool

- He bought lots of black clothing such as leather jackets and black shirts so he could match whenever you go out together

- He likes playing and messing with the rips and chains of your clothing when he gets bored

- When going shopping he often loves picking the clothes for you. Chains,rips and ALL. He loves it and often picks up too many items than normal

(NSFW)

- Gets sexually frustrated when you wear fish net tights. He’ll rip them off and fuck you till you learn your lesson to not wear them around him

- Loves finding black bondage to fuck you in while he has his way with you any way he likes

GHOST

- He loves wearing dark clothes like you do so sharing is caring with him

- He always buys his clothes with you in mind and knowing you’ll love and wear what he picks out

- He thinks your chains and ripped jeans are so cool he often contemplates buying similar clothes with rips and chains so you both can match

- Always asking you after doing laundry asking who’s clothes are who’s because there’s always mix ups between each other’s clothes

- Yalls shared closet looks honestly depressing but you both wouldn’t have it any other way

(NSFW)

- Buys chokers to hold you down as he pounds you with it as he holds onto it for dear life

- Buys lingerie that you both know you would like, a sexy black lace so he could rip it off of you

SOAP

- He would be the one matching you at ALL times and refuses to leave the house if both of you aren’t matching

- He would be the one wearing the ripped jeans and all the chained clothing. He thinks it makes him look so awesome

- He is the one that splurges on clothes for the both of you whenever you go shopping. Often having to manage his money for him because he has no control

- Spencer’s is y’alls comfort place and you often have to drag him out of the store

(NSFW)

- He’s one of those people who are at the BACK of Spencer’s for a little too long looking for things for the both of you for spicy time

- He secretly has a stash of chokers hidden from you for spicy time

- While riding him you would grab his choker for support and while you ride him he would grab your choker to pull you closer to him to fuck your mouth with his tongue

Gaz

- He did go through a phase of wearing all black so he has lots of black clothes in his closet

- He honestly secretly raids your closet at times to try something new for once

- He loves your style and is often so down for thrifting at stores with you

- He also loves the chains and rips of your clothing and honestly gets flustered if you compliment him if he decides to match with you

(NSFW)

- Cannot resist not buying you chains to chain you to the bed while he fucks you

- Loves when you tie him up in black silk ropes or hand cuffs. He will let you do anything to him

- Fucks you in public if you wear a black little short dress and will fuck you while reminding you that if you wear that again in public, he will have no choice but to fuck you so good for tempting him when he can’t do anything about it

REQUEST ARE OPEN

Check Masterlist for more

257 notes · View notes

hollycircling · 10 months

Note

would you consider dropping some tips on how you color? your art always has such a nice feeling to it

Thank you so much, and yes, absolutely!

So... I have been agonizing over how to answer this question for over a week because I tend to make a lot of my major decisions based on what looks and feels good to me in the moment. It’s sort of hard to explain. Then I started getting philosophical with it (“how does one color? How do I explain aesthetic?”), and I started rambling, and had to cut the answer way, way, way down lol.

But here’s what I can help with right now. I think the most important part of how I color is my tools and what they allow me to do. These are currently my favorite brushes to use:

From top to bottom, I use Kyle T’s Gouache for just about everything. A lot of my recent pieces are done entirely in that– I love the chunky texture and how the pressure mimics traditional gouache. It’s great for children’s book illustrations, and filling linework, and realistic portraits. She is my soft wife and I love her.

I practically never use the default hard round. Ignore that.

The roller brush is another one I use for painting. It was my go-to before KT’s gouache, so you’ll find it a lot in my older work (and as a big texture thing in my current works). The “Sampled Tip” below that one I usually use for children’s book styled illustrations. It’s like a really dense, waxy crayon, so it’s fun for textured lines and details.

I always paint in my own shadows and highlights, but I like to use the soft round if I want to blow the shadow or highlight out. It’s for extra large areas.

And finally my pencil. I use it for sketching as well as linework, if I plan on doing a linework-centric piece. I don’t think there’s much of a difference between the two there… one is probably smoother than the other.

______________

The reason why I like textured, pressure-sensitive brushes so much is because they’re important to how I paint. When I blend, I don’t use a blender brush or a smudge tool. What I do is layer two colors– lightly– then use the eyedropper to select the color between them and continue painting with it. That’s probably the key to most of my work. I’ve gotten pretty fast at it, so I’m constantly selecting colors from the painting and reusing it throughout my painting.

I still use the color-wheel to hand-pick what I think will look best, though. This is probably going to be a really frustrating answer, but I choose color palettes based on basic color/lighting theory combined with personal aesthetic preference. It can take some studying (of both theory and other artists’ work). If you’re ever looking for a really great reference on the former subjects, I highly recommend Color and Light by James Gurny. Even if you’re not into watercolor or dinosaurs or realism, the guy is a master at explaining all that different stuff in depth.

Shape and negative space are also pretty important to me, but that's a whole other thing. And as a side-note, I recommend following more children’s book illustrators. Their work may look simple, but a lot of intention goes into how they use color, shape, space, and texture.

Also, on texture, I hand-draw most of mine. I love to add little scratches and drops and splashes when the painting is almost over. It's one of my favorite things to do :')

____

Now, the other most important tip:

Once I’m happy with the sketch/linework, and once I’ve laid down the basic colors of my piece, I do a Really Terrible Thing. I become a graphic designer’s worst nightmare and collapse everything onto one layer.

Then I paint directly on top of it, linework and all.

I do this for a lot of reasons, but mostly because 1) my tiny brain is overwhelmed by the clutter of too many layers, and 2) it forces me to approach a piece as if it was traditional media– a process which I find a lot more comfortable and rewarding. I paint right on top of the base colors, and right on top of the linework, effectively redoing and cleaning up what I already have there. Even if I'm working with a blank background, I'll paint a new blank one on top because it gives the feeling of a more unified piece, if that makes sense.

Basically, I approach my drawings as if I’m using traditional media. I like chunky brushes, utilizing (what I personally think are) interesting color combinations and textures, and smashing everything down onto one page so I can just paint.

Anyway, please let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like me to go into detail on, any pieces of mine you’d like to know how exactly I went about it, etc etc etc. I’m happy to answer ^^

113 notes · View notes

bugswapau · 9 months

Text

NEW AND IMPROVED DESIGNS AND CHARACTER BIOS!

For a while now, I’ve been unhappy with the current designs of the Bugswap cast, so instead of wallowing in my frustration, I decided to finally do something about it. So after a few days, I whipped up the most recent and updated version of the cast — both in designs and in profiles!

Under the readmore, I’ll go into more detail about my design process and what I changed. So if that stuff makes you curious, feel free to read on!

Now with all that soft rebooting out of the way, things should be back up to speed! Thanks for all your patience and support!

Filbo: I feel like Filbo’s design was too cluttered. So, the most I did was just cut off Filbo’s sleeves. Additionally, I gave Filbo a hat reminiscent of old Newsboy hats. I also shifted his electoral badge to his hat, so it’d mirror the press paper commonly seen on hats on journalist designs.

Ripley: I decided to make Ripley look more like my design for the journalist. I also removed the pattern on their shirt.

Triffany: I decided to make Triffany wear just one shirt with a ribbon around the neck. It gives her more of a rustic old-fashioned feel.

Wambus: I didn’t change much of Wambus’ design. Yay for Wambus!

Cromdo: I ditched Cromdo’s previous outfit altogether and gave him a tacky tourist shirt with a pattern similar to his necktie. I felt like the previous outfit didn’t reflect his personality in this AU, so the Hawaiian shirt leans more into the sleaziness of him!

Beffica: Like Wambus, I didn’t change much with Beffica. The most I did was replace her sash with a vest (common in Girl Scout juniors) and simplify the detail on her necklace.

Gramble: I decided to remove the Strabby and bandana to keep his color pallet consistent. Additionally, he now longer plays the banjo and is now a violinist (or rather fiddler).

Wiggle: I made her color pallet consist more of browns because her previous color palette was too clashy. She also has a little Cinnasnail beanie. In terms of backstory, I decided to remove the aspect of her being a child star and made her more of a traditional “lonely rich child” archetype.

Snorpy: I took Snorpy’s hair down and made it more au natural, mostly so he and Flooftix look more similar. For a while, I was divisive about Snorpy’s outfit, but I figured the “shirt-atop-a-long-sleeves” look fit his skater style. I also gave him a new T-shirt to fit him being a skater more.

Chandlo: I gave Chandlo a new outfit altogether since his previous one didn’t fit him. I gave him an outfit closer to Snorpy’s current outfit, so he resembles something of a blacksmith.

Flooftix: I didn’t change much with Flooftix. I simplified the pattern on their flower crown, and I now gave them a little stick cane to tie back into them being disabled (here, they just have a really bad knee as apprised to self-induced amputation).

Shellsy: I didn’t change Shellsy all too much. She’s pretty tried and true.

Eggabell: Her new outfit is a mix of both Lizbert’s canon outfit and her previous outfit. I think the dark browns create a nice contrast on her primarily white color palette.

Lizbert: I decided to just give her Eggabell’s canon outfit. Other than that, not much else has changed.

119 notes · View notes

ozwuv · 3 months

Note

I'm very intrigued by your use of light, how you conceptualise it, how you choose the mood, and how you adjust it to make it work in the way you want. I don't really know how to ask or what I am asking in specific haha But I love your use of light and it always calls my attention whenever you do something with it, it's usually very interesting and adds a lot to the move of the pieces, fixing them in a context beyond the piece itself that adds so much. I wonder how you come up with it, both conceptual and technical process.

Thank you so much!! I'm not too confident in coloring to be honest, my process changes every time I do it bc I'm still in a constantly experimental phase with it lol, means a lot to hear that!

To be totally honest I have a set palette I use when doing base colors and the rest is just layer modes and gradient maps. I also don't do much conceptualizing, I just kinda make it up as I do... sometimes I have a vague idea in mind, like wanting something to have really dull, solemn colors. Other times I like to just throw a bunch of clashing colors together on purpose for more chaotic drawings and it usually makes it more chaotic in a way I think is fun.

But yeah, to boil it down I set flats down with preset colors, throw on a monochrome multiply layer with just one or two colors I want to be the focus as a gradient. Sometimes another multiply layer with shading, but I've been too lazy to do most of that so I usually check out after hair and faces (which I generally start with)... and then I'll flatten everything, duplicate the layer and throw a gradient maps on (sometimes multiple) with varying layers of opacity. Sometimes I'll erase bits of these layers to give things kind of bursts of contrasting colors... examples if it helps

This is a super haphazard response but so is my coloring process, idk if this helps much... I am truly always throwing spaghetti at the wall and most of the time it sticks hahaha. I don't color that often bc it is usually what frustrates me when I'm drawing. I've said this before, but once I get frustrated with something I know that means I need to wrap it up, so I wind up with a lot of B&W sketches. Which is fine. :] (my recent stuff is a fluke, I do not color or detail stuff like this historically lol)

In short: if nobody got me I know gradient maps got me

ETA: OH ALSO blurring the hell out of stuff that is further in the distance or otherwise not the focus of the drawing is my cheap trick to create depth. most of the time i forget to do this but it makes me like things more lol

#yip yap #color theory exists or whatever but i do what i want #also side note in pics that involve jack and another character i tend to draw him blocking light that is shining from behind him #just springs into mind whenever i draw him

29 notes · View notes

buckysgrace · 2 months

Text

17. Forever and Ever, Amen

He was thirteen when Nadine stumbled into his life.

He supposed that force was a better way to describe it. She had disrupted the delicate balance that was his home life, even if it wasn’t technically her fault. Still, he enjoyed having her company. It made him feel less lonely in his big house, even though he wasn’t allowed to play with her that much.

“Who are you?” Daphne peered up at Nadine, her dark eyebrows pulled together inquisitively like she was trying to decide if Nadine was kind or not. Her eyes were narrowed, like she was trying to decide if Nadine was friend or foe.

Nadine had only been at the ranch for a few days, but Gator’s parents had business with the ranch that had left the two of them swiftly dropped off at the Williams’ house. Ruby had spent some time outside on the porch, speaking to his mom in a hushed whisper.

“I told you,” Gator whined, “This is Nadine.” He reminded her again, although he had already told her over the phone the day that Nadine had arrived. Daphne parted her lips in a silent understanding, her big blue eyes locking onto Nadine like she was one of the new animals her father had purchased.

“Oh,” Daphne drew out slowly, “Where did you come from? How old are you? Do you like dollies? I have a pony, do you want to meet her?” She spit out all at once, nearly toppling over out of her seat from how close she had moved to Nadine.

Nadine’s eyes widened, clearly taken aback by Daphne’s attitude. Gator flushed, wishing that he would’ve warned Nadine about how Daphne could be. She was eleven now, but still acted a little too naive at times.

“Let the poor girl speak, Daphne.” Ruby walked around a second later, shaking her head before she waved her hand so that Daphne would sit up straight again.

“Sorry,” Daphne blushed as she settled back into her seat. It only lasted a second before she wiggled closer again, “We can play dress up too if you like that.” She smiled a little sweeter, looking excited at the aspect. Nadine seemed to relax as she nodded her head in agreement.

“Dress up sounds fun.” She said softly, her blue eyes locked tightly on the way Daphne’s features broke out into excitement.

“Cool,” Daphne grinned widely, showing off one of her little gap between her bottom front teeth, “You can wear some of Noelle’s stuff.” She said quickly as she hopped out of her seat. She tugged on Nadine’s hand, nudging her upstairs.

“Where are you going?” Gator protested, not wanting to be left alone. August wasn’t back yet, which meant that he might have to play nice with Oliver. He didn’t want to do that.

“Uh to my room,” Daphne said incredulously, “Are you coming or what?” She yelled over her shoulder as she walked upstairs. He stumbled out of his seat, not wanting to be left behind as he joined them.

Daphne had a steady hand as she applied color onto Nadine’s eyelids. He thought the q-tip like brushes were odd, along with the funny looking palettes. He wasn’t sure if it was even real makeup.

“Daphne can you-,” August stalled as he held the door open, “Whose this?” He paused, his eyebrows cocked wide as he stared at Nadine. He leaned against the doorway, his body relaxing as he watched her.

“I’m Nadine.” She gave a soft wave, smiling kindly before she looked away again. Gator felt his own eyes narrowing, quickly understanding the look in August’s eye. He’d had a girl problem recently.

“Go away, August,” Daphne grumbled, “She’s my friend not yours.” She said quickly before she began to dabble a glossy pink color on Nadine’s lips.

“She probably doesn’t want to play with a bunch of kids.” He challenged as he jerked his chin back towards her. Daphne’s cheeks heated up, looking frustrated at once again from being referred to as a kid.

“I don’t mind.” Nadine spoke softly, looking as relaxed as ever as she kept her eyes glued to the way Daphne was continuing her work.

“Ha,” Daphne replied as she stuck her tongue out towards him, “Now go away.” She demanded as she reached for one of the stuffed animals on the floor. She threw it, narrowly missing his head as it bounded down the hallway right before August slammed the door shut. There was a loud shriek of protest, sounding like Oliver had become a victim from the attack.

Daphne kept them busy as they played from game to game. Sometimes it was a struggle to keep up with her imagination, but Gator enjoyed it. Nadine was a lot quieter, a lot calmer than the two of them. She only seemed to calm down once they were all called in to get cleaned up for dinner.

“Sorry, the office was busier than usual,” Bruce grumbled as he strolled through the door. He gave Ruby a brief kiss on the lips before he kissed Noelle’s head and then Daphne’s. He ruffled Gator’s hair the same way he did to August and Oliver before he paused, “Uh hon, I don’t remember this child.”

“That’s Nadine!” Daphne replied in excitement, “She’s like Gator’s big sister now. And she likes horses too!” She said happily as she wiggled around in her chair again. Bruce raised an eyebrow as he glanced towards Nadine before he turned to his youngest daughter again.

“Can she speak for herself?” He challenged, but still looked amused as Ruby began to serve him his dinner. August snorted, looking a little pleased with himself before Ruby gave him a warning tap on his shoulder.

“Well yes,” Daphne replied back, too excited to listen to Bruce’s grumpy tone, “But I wanted to answer for her because we’re friends. See?” She held up the little beaded bracelet, waving it around wildly. Nadine raised her wrist in response, a shy smile on her lips as she showed off her matching one.

“She’s staying with the Tillman’s for a while,” Ruby answered softly as she sent Nadine another wave, “They’re picking up some cattle so I said we could watch them.” She finally sat down, looking a little tired as she gave Bruce a squeeze on his shoulder.

Dinner passed easily after that and Gator didn’t miss the confusion on Nadine’s features. Bruce was similar to Roy, but he was also very different. They didn’t sit in silence at dinner, Bruce made sure to ask them all the same amount of questions and seemed genuinely interested in what they had to say. He was always a little harder on August, but Gator figured that it had to do with him being the oldest.

`They all helped clean up after dinner. He scraped off the leftovers into a bowl then handed the dirty dishes to Daphne. She washed them, while Noelle dried them. August worked on scrubbing the table down while Oliver silently swept the floor. It was routine, it was nice. No one got yelled at for doing it wrong either.

“We could play monopoly,” Daphne suggested as she balanced on one leg that night, “Or Life. Or Twister. Or I could make August give up his Xbox.” She rambled as she listed off everything that came to her mind. They had made their way into the basement. There was more room, with an extra sofa, mattress and TV.

“What about Mario Kart on the Gamecube?” Gator asked instead, feeling like that sounded a lot more fun. He felt bad that Nadine was still quiet. He hoped that she understood that she did fit in. Daphne seemed to be a big fan of hers.

“That’s fine,” Nadine said in agreement, “I’m alright with whatever you guys usually do.” She agreed with them, looking quite content as Daphne rushed over to set up the Gamecube. She hummed to herself, filling the room with sound as he wondered what thoughts Nadine was hiding behind her stoic features.

////////////////////////////////

Gator woke up to the sound of the rain.

He rolled over, his feet cold from the lack of blankets. He groaned, trying to tug them back over himself but to no avail. Nadine and Daphne had cocooned themselves together underneath all the blankets. Each time he tried to grab at them, one of them shifted it closer to themselves.

He drifted upstairs, making plans to head into the spare closet that held all the extra pillows and quilts. He was sure he’d be left with the scratchy ones, but he supposed he couldn’t be a beggar.

“She could stay here,” Gator heard Ruby pleading with Bruce down the hall, speaking in hushed tones so that no one else could hear them, “Linda and Roy have so much going on right now. We’re already used to a full house, it wouldn’t be that different.” She protested, sounding more desperate than he had ever heard her.

“It’s none of our business who they take in.” Bruce whispered back in the same manner, but sounded frustrated as if they had been arguing about this for a while. Gator crept closer, doing his best to stay quiet even though he knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop.

“She could help me out,” Ruby tried again, “And she could share a room with Noelle or Daphne. We could make it work.” She sounded chipper, like she could somehow convince Bruce. Gator found himself frowning, not wanting to lose the one chance he had at gaining a sibling.

“She’s the same age as August,” Bruce dismissed her entirely, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He sounded serious this time as he spoke. Ruby sighed deeply, sounding like she was debating on her next choice of words.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to stay there,” Ruby said at last, “It just doesn’t feel right.” She breathed out harshly. Gator crept a little closer, curious as to what she was going to say.

“And why’s that?” Bruce sounded more stern this time around. Gator took a step back, not wanting to hear Bruce treat Ruby the same way Roy handled Linda. He winced as the floor creaked, stiffening as he knew that he had been caught. He pulled a sheepish smile to his lips as Ruby turned around the corner.

“Hey,” Ruby smiled brightly at him, all of the worried lines on her features disappearing as she stepped forward, “I didn’t wake you, did I?” She asked worriedly as she fumbled her fingers through his hair.

“No,” He lied, “I just couldn’t sleep.” He shrugged his shoulders softly, trying to keep as nonchalant as he could. She nodded her head, looking fine with that answer as Bruce rounded on them.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Bruce said dismissively as he gave Ruby a warning look, “Try and get some sleep.” He added towards Gator a second later. He gave his shoulder a soft squeeze, then added an even softer smile before he walked away.

“I was about to have a cup of tea, do you want some?” Gator loved his mom, but thought that she sometimes had a hard time loving him. Roy was always telling her that she was doing something wrong, that she was babying him. He never heard Bruce say that to Ruby. She was softer, sweeter.

When he was here, Roy couldn’t say that. Bruce never seemed to complain about it either. Ruby treated Gator in the same manner she treated her sons. She’d let him curl up against her side, rest his head on her lap and would kiss injuries the same way she did to the rest of her kids.

“Okay,” He nodded his head. He watched as she worked, thinking about how his mom never drank tea, “Why do you not want Nadine to stay with me?” He asked at last, furrowing his eyebrows together as he tried to come up with his own answer. Had he already done something wrong?

“Oh, it’s not about you,” She said softly as she pushed a teacup towards him, “It’s just a lot on your mom. And she’s only had a little boy to deal with, plus, I know how to handle girls.” She said with a sly smile, making him nod his head in agreement.

“Right,” Gator replied as he took a soft sip from the warm tea, “I want a sister though.” He told her seriously. He’d always wanted a sibling. He felt like he missed out some, especially when he watched the way Daphne interacted with her siblings. They fought, but they also loved each other a lot.

“You could still have one,” She nodded her head, “And my kids are like your siblings too.” She told him as she took a sip from her own cup. She looked deep in thought for a moment. He watched her, thinking that Daphne had her same eyes.

“Not Daphne though?” He asked a second later, unable to help himself as her name just came to his mind. She laughed as he spoke.

“Not Daphne,” She grinned as she watched him, “I still need grandkids from you two one day. A long time from now.” She winked, teasing him as he curled his nose up in disgust.

“Ew.” He said, feeling his face flush at the thought. Having kids with Daphne? There was no way.

Now

How are things?

He texted her the day of her appointment, still slightly worried about what had been wrong with her bloodwork. He hoped it was nothing bad. But then again, he supposed that Hugh could’ve given her some odd disease.

Good, maybe we can talk later?

Her message made his eyebrows raise. He supposed it was harmless, but there also seemed to be something hidden in there. He quickly answered her.

Is everything alright?

He stared at his open messages, praying and hoping for a quick response from her.

I hope so.

Her message was odd and did nothing to soothe the jitters in his veins. He paused, about to call her when Roy burst into his room. He looked at him unimpressed before he jerked his head down the hall.

“Get ready.” Was his simple statement, giving Gator no time to question him before he was back out the hallway. Gator stumbled out the door, trying to figure out exactly what he needed to get ready for. He couldn’t tell if this was personal or business.

“Where are we going?” He breathed out harshly, almost tripping down the ends of the stairs. He paused, taking in the way that Karen was getting the girls adjusted. Personal. This was something personal.

“We were invited over for dinner,” Roy huffed as he adjusted his hat, “Is there some issue?” He snapped, sounding a little more cranky than usual.

“No,” Gator said, slightly alarmed by his tone, “I was just curious is all.” He shrugged his shoulders, trying to keep his cool as he quickly slid on a pair of his boots. He was still taken off guard, trying to figure out just where they were heading. He supposed that Ruby must’ve overcooked again.

“Do we get to throw flowers yet?” Jessica asked as she furrowed her eyebrow and tugged on Gator’s hand. He sighed, unsure of how to explain to her that she probably wouldn’t be one for a while.

“Probably soon,” He nodded his head, feeling a bit bad for lying to her as he helped her out the door. She pouted her lips out, seemingly disappointed before Karen took her and lifted her into the truck, “What did Ruby make?”

“It’s not there,” Roy dismissed him as he clambered into the front seat, “It’s at Daphne’s. Her husband invited us over.” He remarked, trying to make a subtle dig but it didn’t work this time. Gator knew something that he didn’t.

He stood there for a moment, wondering if he was walking into some sort of trap. He had heard stories of wives confronting their cheating husbands in front of large groups to humiliate them, but never the other way around. He didn’t think that Hugh could do that. Nor did he believe that anyone would really care.

“Are you coming?” Roy asked, looking annoyed at the way Gator lingered outside of the truck. He quickly cursed before he made his way inside, trying to sort out if there was some connection between Daphne’s messages and Hugh’s invitation.

The drive there wasn’t long but Gator was left in his nerves the entire way. He kept unlocking his phone, his thumbs brushing over his keyboard as he tried to think of some message to send Daphne. He doubted that she’d answer him.

He still thought it was a bit funny that Bruce had kicked them out of the house, so soon after their marriage. Daphne’s house was still being worked on, partially finished. He supposed it must be fairly loud when the workers were there.

“Is Daphne here?” He looked at Noelle in confusion, not seeing her anywhere nearby as he walked towards where Noelle was positioned on the sectional. She sighed deeply, like his presence was irritating.

“I haven’t seen her,” Noelle shrugged her shoulders as she continued to inspect her nails, “Hugh told daddy to get pizza and said they had big news.” He furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion, feeling like this was all odd.

“Hugh set this up?” He searched for clarity, wondering why he would do such a thing. It wasn’t like he’d received a very warm welcome from any of them.

“Yeah,” Noelle narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, “What do you know?” She asked as she leaned forward, like she was trying to read his expression. He remained stoic, not needing another one of her siblings to know of their affair.

“Nothing,” He responded as he backed away as if he could prove his innocence, “I don’t know anything.” He said at last, crossing his arms as if to make a point.

“I don’t believe you,” She said at last as she pointed a finger at him, “You’re hiding something too.” She told him seriously as she furrowed her eyebrows tightly together. He scoffed, even though he was hiding something. He wouldn’t tell Noelle. He didn’t trust her.

“What about your secret?” He challenged in response, not liking being so easily called out. Her eyes widened for just a fleeting second before she quickly rolled them and turned in the other direction.

There wasn’t much time for her to investigate him again before he heard footsteps gliding down the stairs. He walked around the sofa, already recognizing who it was before she stepped into the room. Her eyes widened in surprise, clearly taken aback by everyone in the room.

“Hugh,” Daphne’s smile was tight, her eyebrows knitted in confusion as she glanced around at everyone, “What’s going on?” Her hair was wrapped up in a bun on top of her head with loose strands in disarray. She looked a little green around the edges and her mascara was smeared around the corners of her eyes as if she’d wiped them for too long.

“I thought we should celebrate the big news,” He said as he ushered her forward, pushing her smaller body until she was on display. She didn’t look dressed for a celebration either. Her leggings had cat hair on them and her shirt was a few sizes too big, one that he suspected had been one of his old ones. The thought made him smirk.

“Wait, wait,” She tried to protest, “What are you-, what’s everyone doing here?” She peered around at everyone in surprise, looking a little horrified as she tried to gain control of the situation. He rubbed the back of his neck, a little worried at how stressed she looked. He really hoped that Hugh wasn’t going to spring something on them.

“To celebrate the baby!” The words tumbled free from Hugh’s tongue, making Gator take a few steps back until he hit the back of the couch. He blinked, almost positive that he had heard Hugh wrong. There was no way.

“You’re pregnant?” Ruby was the first one to speak, grinning as Daphne planted her feet and continued to look horrified, “Oh congrats. That’s amazing!” She wrapped her arms around Daphne, giving her a little squeeze as Daphne’s eyes remained wide.

“It’s great news, isn’t it?” Hugh grinned as he bent low to kiss the corner of Daphne’s mouth. She quickly tugged away, almost as if she had been slapped as she stared up at him. Gator couldn’t find any words of congratulations on his tongue. He felt angry, jealous. He’d been so determined that Daphne was his when she really wasn’t.

“So great,” Bruce responded dryly, only changing his tone when Ruby nudged him, “I’m so glad I’ll finally be a grandpa.” He tried again, but didn’t have the energy to humor anyone with his fake enthusiasm. Gator felt like the walls were slowly caving in and as if his lungs could no longer work. He hadn’t had an asthma attack in years, but he felt the similar dread forming in the base of his chest.

“I uh,” Daphne shook her head, looking lost and a little terrified as different forms of congratulations were thrown her way, “I didn’t want to announce it like this.” He turned his attention towards the floor, thinking that the wood looked far too clean as her eyes fell onto him. He didn’t want to look at her.

“It’s your family,” Hugh reminded her with a sweet tone, “There’s not a better way to do it.” Gator was sure that he was all up on her, parading her around and their unborn baby. He knew it wasn’t right to be so jealous, but he was. It should be him.

He stepped outside a few minutes later, taking his time so Roy couldn’t see the scene that he was trying to keep from creating. His hand shook as he brought his vape up to his lips, taking inhale after inhale as the warm setting sun burned the tops of his shoes.

The door opened but he didn’t need to look over to know who it was. He felt stupid as he stared off into the distance, wondering how he had ever thought that they’d had a chance.

“You’re pregnant.” He spoke bitterly as he stared ahead, his heart hammering as he held back a rush of nasty accusations on the tip of his tongue. He couldn’t look at her right now.

“Gator,” She breathed out roughly, “I was going to tell you. This was all ambushed on me. I didn’t want anyone else to know this early.” She said frantically, sounding like she was close to tears as she roughly gestured her hands around.

“Why would it be any of my business?” He snapped at her, feeling bitter as it settled around him. She tilted her head, looking at him in disbelief as she gently shook her head. She scoffed, then laughed to herself like it was funny. The realization washed over him next, like a cold dunk in the crick as he parted his lips in understanding.

Oh.

“So the baby is-?” His tongue rolled around awkwardly in his mouth as he spoke. He straightened up his form as he looked down at her, noticing the softness that formed around her features.

“Yes,” Daphne said, her skin a little green as she watched him, “What do you think?” She chewed on her bottom lip, cocking an eyebrow as she twisted her fingers together. He fell silent, noticing that she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring either. The anger rushed out of him, disappearing as a breeze hit them.

“I think that’s amazing,” He spat out truthfully, “Really great. That’s incredible. A baby, wow.” He rambled for a moment, shaking his head as he tried to think of the right thing to say. He was excited, truly. He was just unprepared.

“You’re nervous.” She said simply, her eyes crinkling as an amused smile tugged onto her lips. He watched her as he nodded his head in agreement, bringing the vape back to his lips so he could twist out the new nerves that had formed inside of his stomach.

“Yeah,” He nodded his head, still smiling as he resisted the urge to hold onto her, “How far along are you?” She walked forward until they were out of sight from the window, smiling as she took his hand in hers. He looked down at how tiny her hand seemed to be in comparison as he rubbed his fingertips across her open palm.

“About five weeks,” She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked at him, “Hugh had my phone. I think that’s how he knew.” She whispered softly, her eyes swimming with worry as he was sure they shared the same thought. He was sure that if Hugh had seen their messages that he would’ve said something.

“He doesn’t suspect anything then?” He asked her softly as he linked their fingers together, just for confirmation. She shook her head slowly. He almost wished that Hugh had looked. It would’ve made things a lot easier.

“Apparently not,” She breathed out, “I should’ve just told him. Now everyone thinks the baby is his.” She huffed in frustration as she glanced back towards the house. He didn’t want her to get too stressed out. He was sure her miscarriage had to do with her not wanting anyone else to know so soon.

“S’alright,” He mumbled as he rubbed his thumb into her palm gently, “We can work through this together.” He told her truthfully. It was a mess right now, but they’d be able to figure it out.

“It’s embarrassing.” She groaned as she leaned forward, fully hiding her face into the crook of his neck. She continued to whine, shuffling on her feet as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her in for the first real hug they’d shared in years. He soaked in her warmth, pulling her closer as she nuzzled her face deeper against his skin. He pressed his chin against the top of her head, suddenly feeling like everything was alright.

“On the bright side,” Gator drew out softly, “I don’t think Hugh will want to stick around after this.” He chuckled softly as he rocked them back and forth. She clung to him tightly, sighing deeply as her eyelashes fluttered against his neck.

“I’m scared.” She breathed out slowly, her voice barely above a whisper as he rubbed his fingertips down her spine. He wanted to pull her closer, then wondering how fast they could make it to his truck without anyone noticing. Perhaps it wouldn’t be bad to leave.

“It’s going to be alright,” He promised as he kissed her temple, “Things will be easier this time. I’ll take care of you.” He promised her as he peppered a trail of kisses down to her lips. She giggled softly, the sound absorbed by the soft touch of their lips meeting.

“I know,” She whispered softly once he pulled away, “But what do we do now?” She looked at him worriedly as she flicked her eyes up towards him. He paused for a moment, but really didn’t know how to answer her.

“You need to end it with Hugh first,” He said at last, “Then everything else will fall into place.” He said at last, feeling like it would be better for them to start slowly than to announce it to everyone. He didn’t want to cause a scene, no matter how badly he wanted to be with her. It wasn’t worth doing it in that manner.

He snuck back in a few minutes after her, taking a bit longer to breathe in what had just happened. He was going to be a dad. He was going to have a baby. He was excited, but it also made him want to vomit.

“A baby will be so nice,” Ruby gushed out over the cheap pizza place Bruce had ordered from, “The two of you will have a cute baby.” She grinned as she watched them, looking like she was already planning on when she’d be able to hold the baby. Gator shifted in his chair, hoping she’d be just as excited when she found out the truth.

“I hope the baby has Gator’s eyes.” Daphne breathed out dreamily as she took another bite from her slice of pizza. She munched on it, closing her eyes as her statement waved through the air around them.

He stopped chewing, resisting the urge to spit out the crust of his pizza from how dry it suddenly felt in his mouth. The side conversations stopped as eyes darted back between the two of them. She stayed oblivious as she opened her eyes, a tiny smile on her lips until she realized everyone was staring. He swallowed hard, wincing at how roughly the food traveled down his throat.

“What?” She looked at them confused with a raised eyebrow, “Is something wrong with the food?” She asked in confusion, peeling her cheese back like there was something hidden underneath it. Gator shifted lower in his chair, completely aware of the look Roy was sending him.

“Daph,” August coughed to cover up his laugh, “You just said the wrong name.” He said in amusement, once again wearing that shit eating grin as he turned towards Gator.

“Name?” She looked at him confused, tilting her head before she glanced towards everyone else. Hugh stared ahead, blinking in confusion like he was hearing it all over for the first time.

“You just said you wanted the baby to have Gator’s eyes.” Oliver said this time, a little more agitated as he turned to fully face Daphne. She froze, her fingers tightening into fists on the table as she refused to look at anyone.

“Oh,” Daphne paused, her blue eyes widening in shock, “I said that?” She laughed nervously, her face burning like she’d been out in the sun too long as everyone continued to stare at her. Gator avoided the way Karen stuck her nose up, how she sent Roy a knowing look.

“You did.”

“Hm,” She stopped again, her face and neck burning as bright as a tomato, “I uh, I had this whole thing rehearsed and -,” She stopped herself quickly, covering her hand over her mouth before she stood and bolted down the hallway. Her chair nearly teetered backwards from how roughly she stood, but Oliver quickly grabbed it to balance it out as Hugh stared in disbelief.

Gator was all too aware as all the attention shifted towards him. He pulled a stiff smile to his lips, his face suddenly feeling hot, “I really like this pizza place.” He said simply, feeling like his insides were slowly curling up and sinking inside of him. His face felt too hot as he was thrown off from her sudden revelation.

“You bastard,” Oliver said suddenly, “You’re going to ruin her.” He snapped towards Gator, looking like he was second away from flipping the table. August only laughed, making Gator want to bury his face that much deeper into his hole.

“Oliver,” Ruby looked at him surprised, “Not now.” She brushed him off quickly, smiling stiffly as she glanced back towards Hugh, who was stony faced. This wasn’t how he wanted it to go, but maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with ripping the bandaid off. It would all be over with now.

“You and her,” Hugh looked up towards him, “You were with her the whole time?” His brown eyes locked in on Gator’s, looking determined as he searched for any cracks in Gator’s demeanor.

“Uh,” Gator wasn’t sure how to sit, where to place his hands or where to look, “Um, yes.” He said honestly, figuring that there was no other way around it. Everyone was going to find out, one way or another.

“Wow,” Bruce spoke suddenly, making Gator hide further into his chair, “You know you could’ve done this a few years ago. Or before she was married. Congrats.” He sounded a little amused towards the end, so amused that Gator swore he winked in his direction.

“Bruce!” Ruby shouted in shock, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe what he’d just said. Bruce shrugged his shoulders innocently.

“What?” He asked in disbelief, “Everyone congratulated Hugh, I was just being the first one to say it to Gator.” He gestured towards Hugh, then towards Gator as if to make a point.

“Well,” Roy drew out softly, “I sincerely apologize for how my son has acted.” He smiled tightly, but was clearly agitated by the look in his eyes. Suddenly, Gator felt like he was twelve again. Ruby opened her mouth again, looking like she was going to protest before a sound from the doorway tore their attention away.

“Hugh,” Daphne finally reappeared, looking quite small as she stood in the doorway, “Can we talk?” She nearly whispered, holding her gaze down as she shifted from foot to foot. He winced, wishing there was something he could do to make it easier on her. He suddenly wondered if he should join her, or if that would make it all worse.

“You’ve already humiliated me,” Hugh spoke raspily, making Gator turn his attention down to his plate to hide away from his glare, “Just say what you have to say.” He sat back in his chair and linked his fingers together, looking quite relaxed as he waited for her to speak.

“I think you should talk in private,” Ruby said quickly, “We don’t need to hear this.” She shook her head, desperately looking like she was trying to help Daphne take control of the situation.

“It’s fine,” Hugh said dryly, “Just go ahead. Get it off your chest.” He said plainly, looking rather interested as he held eye contact with her.

She paused, looking scared as she continued to fiddle with her fingers. Gator shifted in his seat, beginning to join her before Noelle shoved him back down. She shook her head, giving him a look before she reached over and grabbed her sister’s hand. She squeezed hard, looking like she gave Daphne the bit of confidence that she needed.

“I’m in love with Gator,” She said at last, breathing in shakily as she looked around, “And I think he loves me too. I’m, um, I’m sorry about what I did to you. I shouldn’t have dragged you through this mess and I’m, well, obviously ashamed of my actions but I don’t regret them. But I am sorry.” She glanced at Gator briefly, sending him a look that made his insides warm. She quickly looked away, nodding her head as she laid out the facts plainly.

“That was something, dear.” Ruby smiled tightly, looking more stressed than what Daphne did at this point. She kept glancing towards Hugh, like she was waiting for him to do something rash. He was quiet, far too quiet before he roughly rose and walked upstairs.

“It’s alright,” Noelle tapped Daphne’s hand softly, “You did good.” She reassured her, smiling softly in reassurance. Daphne nodded her head, looking a little green again as she glanced towards Gator. He took her free hand, engulfing her hand in his as he tugged her closer.

“I do love you,” He told her softly as he kissed her knuckles, “Very much.” He added gently, unsure if it was the right time to be so public with her. She sighed softly, looking relieved. He could tell that she needed this. Things would be okay.

“Enough to streak around the farm.” August snorted as he spoke up, making Gator shoot a glare his way.

“What?” Bruce looked up horrified, “You know what-, I don’t want to know actually.” He held up his hands and then quickly shook his head, like he had finally absorbed all of the information. Ruby exhaled deeply, patting his shoulder as she looked deep into her own thoughts.

“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” Roy spoke up, rambling for a moment as the air turned tense again. Gator felt a knot forming between his shoulders.

“Thanks, dad,” Gator replied dryly, “Congrats. You’re going to be a grandfather.” He did his best to pull a smile to his lips, even though he knew that Roy wasn’t happy. Daphne squeezed at his hand softly, dragging his attention away as he glanced up towards her again.

Everyone was quiet and Gator was fairly certain because they all fit into one of those boxes. Daphne rested against him, wrapping an arm behind his shoulders as he rubbed his fingertips against her skin softly.

“A baby is still exciting,” Noelle said this time, “I hope you have a girl.” She replied joyfully, leaning over to poke and prod at Daphne’s tummy. It was still flat, hiding any proof away. Gator wondered if she had a developed tummy at all when they lost their first baby girl.

Gator lingered behind after everyone else had left, feigning an excuse so he didn’t have to face Roy. He wasn’t ready for the lecture he was about to receive. He didn’t really need to go back. He really wanted to stay with Daphne, to be there to support her.

“So,” Daphne teetered awkwardly from foot to foot, “Where should we stay tonight? Hugh is still upstairs.” She peeped her head over the corner before she shuffled back towards him, smiling sheepishly as she wrapped her arms around his waist again.

“Maybe we should check to make sure he didn’t, you know.” He made a concerned face, shaking his shoulders as he held onto her. He bent down and kissed the top of her head, glad that he had her back. Everything was definitely awkward, but he was happy that they could be together now.

“Gator,” Daphne laughed quickly, “That’s not funny.” She shoved at his shoulder gently, whispering like she was trying to make sure that Hugh couldn’t hear them. He bent over again, kissing her temple sweetly.

“It kinda was,” He mumbled, “Do you want me to check?” He asked as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She still looked a little frazzled, but that didn’t matter to him. He gripped her face, squeezing it softly before he pressed his lips against hers. She giggled in response, squealing against his lips before he pulled away.

“I’ll come with,” She said as wiped his spit away from her mouth as her blue eyes filled with amusement, “Or is that very smart? I really don’t know what to do.” She admitted as she gave his hand a soft squeeze.

“No need,” Hugh drew their attention away, making their eyes snap up towards the stairs as Gator quickly took a step back, “Can I take the spare room? Just until I get moved somewhere else.” He said stiffly, his eyes still fiery as he looked towards Gator.

“Sure,” Daphne spit out awkwardly, “Yeah that’s, that’s fine. Do you want to talk or-?” She looked at him briefly, looking like she wasn’t sure what else to say as Hugh pushed past them. He carried his bags on his shoulders and his art supplies in his hands as he ignored her question.

“I guess we can stay upstairs then?” He teased her softly, speaking only once he was sure Hugh could no longer hear them. She sighed as she leaned against him, hiding her face again as she nodded her head.

“Do you really want to do this?” She asked him softly, pulling away to look up at him with her bright eyes. He traced the curve of her cheek, glancing over the freckles that decorated her nose and soft cheeks. He nodded his head softly.

“There’s no one I’d rather do this with,” He told her truthfully, “Baby or not. I want to be with you.”

#gator tillman #gator tillman x oc #Gator Tillman x fem!oc #Gator Tillman smut #Gator Tillman fluff #gator tillman x original female character #Gator Tillman fic #Gator Tillman series

23 notes · View notes

carsontumbleweed · 4 months

Text

So i know I don't shut up about wanting to rewrite clone high but I actually started to put some ideas together. (Only gotten tophers and harriets designs down that's why there's only them. Topher sucks at gym)

But when I started to redesign and rewrite I decided I wanted to go all out cause you know self indulgence

Usually redesigns and yeah I changed the news character a bit. Basically just an au? Sometimes I changed stuff about their designs I didn't even hate like I don't hate the idea of Harriet having poofy pink hair, I don't mind fridas design except the colors I guess, I don't hate tophers design at all but I kind of just ended up changing it anyway for fun so please please please don't see this as me just hating on season two I'm just very obsessed with season one

I didn't make this to particularly hate on season two or anything but I've just been so hyper fixated on clone high recently and rewriting this and putting ideas together for characters I love so much is just so fun?? Like I am so happy doing it I can't even explain it. At first I wasn't sure about actually doing it because some people like season 2 and I think there are alot of things wrong with it but its fine for people to enjoy it of course. But again I'm doing this for fun and mainly kinda self indulgence. Stimming like so much even typing about it ughhh.

So I started to put ideas together. Revamping the new characters in a way. Again please see this as a dumb au this is just my opinions and stuff

Harriet: I actually really enjoy Harriet(not the design) but I was for them to amp her up by a lot? She was quirky she was fun I guess. In the rewrite I took alot of inspo from Ocean from ride the cyclone. I wanted to make her more preppy, more of an overachiever. I imagine she can be a little annoying sometimes but that's the fun of it. I imagine she definitely still talking drama and stuff but she's actually a lot nicer than Cleo was s1(depending if you get on her good side)

Topher: Tophers already an alright written character at least at first before they make him into a plot device to be thrown away easily. Since Abes the main character I guess he'd get more time 'on screen'. He's definitely that weird kid stereotype but I wanted to amp up his meanness, a big thing with clone high is that their stereotypes of teens Abes the awkward teenage guy, Joans the angry emo girl, Cleos popular. So I wanted to go more into his mean aspect and make him kind of 'emo' in a way?? If I had to describe it best it'd be in a 'mom get out of my room!!!!' Sort of way. He makes Abe kind of miserable by being negative and mean and doesn't notice that he brings people down is probably the reason he doesn't have friends. Abe and tophers friendship will most likely be on and off depending on the 'episode' but Topher does end up having an infatuation with Abe despite that.(no the stuff in ep8 doesn't happen don't get me started on the writing) He's annoying about it though. very try hard. Average white male on reddit going 'its fine to kiss your only male friend cause its totally platonic, I'm just preparing to kiss for the women you know. ' the reason he doesn't admit he's gay is cause he thinks being a straight male ally makes him look good despite the fact he's just some annoying and pathetic loser. He also copies Abes homework and steals his stuff.

Abe: I absolutely despise the fact they made him say slurs in the first episode when Cleo Joan and jfk were all right there. S1 clone high condemned them for that too because it was a satire! They literally comment on how bad Cleo is and yet s2 switches that just because it doesn't like Abe. Do not get me wrong Abe is not some perfect angel but I even enjoy when he is frustrating and I hate how the writers just went with the fanon versions of the characters. Okay rant over. Abes still the mc and I do want to comment on how the perception of 'nice guys' have changed. He's not a bad guy, he's just some teenage boy trying to Get a girl though. In the rewrote Abe goes back to being nervous around his crushes(Joan) but he's Still figuring himself out if he truly loves joan(even in the ending cliffhanger he's still unsure!!) I think part of him would be mad that she slept with JFK but also way too awkward to really have an argument about it. Imagine sputtering and stammering and he ends the sentence with hm..... And stares at her longingly and yes there ill be a dumb misunderstanding trope and now she thinks he hates her.

Cleo: girls one of my favorites in season 1 because she's funny to watch however I really hate how its so ignored that she's a bigot to Gandhi and homeless and poor people and lets be real a lot of other people(on the website see how she treats marie curie). Cause she's like that. Something I like about it though is that I always felt it was making fun of HER for being dramatic and shallow, she's a satire of a popular girl who thinks that she's better than everyone and in my opinion she's mainly well written in that way(I do have some problems with the writing obviously but yk) i think I've already explained a little about what will happen to her. When she gets unfrozen, she loses her captain of the cheerleading squad she's no longer the lead if every club and she's no longer the queen bee, her cat dies, her boyfriend breaks up with her and leaves her crying on prom night, and eventually she gets cancelled for saying stuff. I think ill make her kind of become an outcast (it becomes so bad she even resorts to talking to Topher, though its mainly insulting) she actually goes a little crazy and ruins Abes car a little, modern tv dramas usually do go crazy with plots and 'crazy insane girls' is a fair trope so I thinks its a pretty fair thing to say. Also since toots is still dead she still shares a room with Joan. Cleos insanely bitter about it

Frida: fridas basically the cool girl sterotype. She doesn't say much but literally everyone adores her(at least the new clones) ill give her some stuff like she's the class president and she dies run against Abe. She actually has trouble finding meaning in her art cause its kind of bland and she thinks she's living up to her clone mother just fine. She doesn't get with Cleo just yet but this is early in the rewrite and I want to take things slow and let them flow naturally. fridas still friends with harriet, who manages her campaign and stuff and I want to go more into their dynamic.

Confucius: he's mainly the same for some parts, I wanted to make him more than just some stupid tiktok jokes thougjh. I also leaned into more if him being a bad person in a way? (Hint hint Confucius was very into morals) and he'll do just about anything to get clout and stay amount the popular kids. He's in a cringey on and off relayionship with Harriet (think like any highschool couple) they fight a lot but they usually get back together and make out. Its annoying for everyone

Joanfk: I've never been a huge joanfk fan to be honest but since I'm only going off s1 cause s2 joanfk is ooc and soooooo annoying to me. No they don't date immediately, to be honest JFK sleeps with every girl in the school and she was just another one off the list even if he did feel for her issues. Since Joan thinks Abe is mad at her, they do actually end up talking and at first Joan starts to go on about how that was a 'slut thing to do' JFK tries to reassure her and such not trying too much. I do want them to get together for a little bit, Joans probably not used to guys actually liking her so she's a little open to it? But their break up is alot different. I want to go full satire like JFK and her fight like siblings over stiff and they see it as less romantic and more as friends, JFKs very shocked when he actually doesn't want to kiss her and he's all like 'ew!!! I've never liked a girl platonically before!! What the fuck.' (As much as I'm alright with joanfk s1 wise I think liking someone for who they are is the bare minimum in a relationship, its great that JFK likes her for who she is but he also likes every girl for who they are because he's a manwhore and the idea of them being more of a brotp is more fun to me)

Ill still add kahlopatra maybe but slowburn. Cleo IS a bigot though she'll have to real development I'm not just gonna put them together too quickly.

Note if you noticed Topher looks more rat like that is on purpose rats did come over with Columbus in a way and they are also disease carriers. And no he's not skinnier its just more distributed

Forgit to mention a lot more historical jokes cause the fact that they're historical figures just makes everything funnier to me

That being said I kind of hate shipping in clone high cause I always felt it was more about comedy and character dynamics. Shipping is cool I guess but I don't like watching a show just to see two characters kiss

okay I'm done I'm free.

#clone high #clone high fanart #clone high topher #topher bus #abe lincoln #clone high cleo #clone high frida #clone high au #joanfk #clone high joan of arc #clone high joan #clone high jfk #JFK #clone high confucius #clone high harriet tubman #clone high Harriet #clone high abe #fanart #Obviously not ship art of harriet and Topher lolll

31 notes · View notes

salemssimblr · 5 months

Note

Hello there! I'm Eden :D I LOVE your renders! I've been rendering for well over a year at this point, however I only stuck to the super basic stuff since it took me a year before that to even know how to do it at all. I've wanted to up my game and get to where you are now. I'm SO SORRY if this question was asked already (I haven't gotten too far in your posts yet), but;

How do you personally edit your renders? I understand you use photoshop, but how do you do it exactly? Your renders have that kind of digital art style, like you drew them yourself. Feel free to be as descriptive or brief as you'd like!

Hi Eden!!! Thank you so much! 🥹😍♥️

I've followed you back and glad we're moots! I'd love to see some of your work!

I'm not sure if I've answered this before but I'm happy to answer it again! Also I haven't advertised it in a while (and I really need to try to get up a new tut, maybe soon), but my alt account is a Render School where I post tutorials, with plans to post editing tutorials in the future!

But honestly as far as my editing, I really don't do much.

Actions are my secret weapon, and I have a few favorites/go-tos I'll link! A few are by simmers and a few are just action sets. I'm in a family of photographers, so I have access to a wealth of resources for my editing.

Sonder set by @intramoon

Cold Water set by @intramoon

Retro Prime photoshop actions

Indie camera photoshop actions

But my "secret weapon," as it were, and the set of actions that I think most helps me accomplish that digital art style is a set of actions that are sadly expensive and hard to find now.

My favorite set is by Totally Rad! and I think in recent years it's been folded in to this Pixel Sugar product on their website. I know that's a steep price point but it's possible you can find it around the corners of the Internet for less, or if you can't, you might be able to find "dupes" of the better ones, which imo are:

Technicolor dream world

Super Fun Happy

Bullet Tooth

Grandma's Tap Shoes

As for my method, I know a lot of simmers paint over their renders, and I've done that a few times but find I'm too impatient tbh. My goal is always to have to do only minor touchups over my renders and some color/vibe adjustments before the finished product. My "raw" files are always exactly what blender spits out for me, unaltered in any way except to resize them for Tumblr.

To get that digital art style, I'd recommend rendering with alpha details if you don't already. If your computer can't handle alpha cc in the game, DM me and I can give you some pointers (sneak peek info for a future tut lmao) on how to accomplish it without bogging down your game.

When I go into photoshop I adjust the brightness and contrast, as I tend to personally prefer high contrast pieces that contain dark subject matter but you can still see the details. Then I'll paint/blur/clone/adjust anything that needs it, then I'll "stack" and adjust a handful of actions before applying edge blur and vignette and any other color adjustments (levels, curves, etc).

That's a very oversimplified rundown of what I do, but really overall my editing process is simple. The bulk of my work happens in blender itself. I find that the more time I take to perfect the lighting and shadows and angles in blender, the less frustrating the editing process and the happier I am with the end result. So, that said, be sure you're spending a lot of time in blender getting the light and shadows to be exactly where you need/want them to be before running it.

I know this is a bit long I'm sorry! If any of it is super confusing or you'd like a more in-depth look at any of it please let me know! I do plan to do editing tutorials for my side blog, but the latter half of this year has kind of run over me like a train, and for now I'm just trying to get by day by day. But I'm happy to help if you have more specific questions!

& thank you again!! ♥️

#replies #thank you so much this literally made my day #I was having a bad one too ugh I needed this #mini blender tutorial #tutorial ish #sims 4 blender tutorial #sims 4 render tutorial #sims 4 editing tutorial #I can't tell yall how happy it makes me when yall love my work #legit holding back tears #♥️♥️♥️

18 notes · View notes

morrak · 1 year

Text

Untitled Wednesday Library Series, Part 110

Depending on the week, anywhere between fifteen and fifty percent of my job is tracking down and organizing PDFs for other people. The problem with coming home tired from a searching-for-PDFs job and launching straight into searching-for-PDFs homework in preparation for doing research about how to better search for PDFs is that I seldom get the chance to track down or organize any for myself.

A recent exception: James Page’s Guide for Drawing the Acanthus, and Every Description of Ornamental Foliage in its 1886 reprint by Bernard Quaritch. Rather than slap in scans of the (blank) covers, I'll lead off with the title page and frontispiece. If you want to follow along, here's a version hosted on the Internet Archive.

The How

Because I’m up to my tits in end-of-term bustle, I’ve had no time to work on anything of my own lately. Hell, I haven’t even been able to scheme or plot in earnest. This is, I trust you’ll understand, quite frustrating. The best substitute I can afford is reading about the kinds of things I’d be reading if I were to be planning something serious, which usually, I trust you’ll recognize, means forums. This item came to my attention via a thread on The Engraver’s Cafe, which is a place I have no business being but still scavenge for references when the mood strikes.

The Text

A reference, but not as advertised — this isn't especially a guide, nor is it only about ornamental foliage. It is somewhat those things, but spends a whole lot of its runtime dealing with other sorts of architectural ornamentation.

Neat, yes? Sort of. Mr. Page's focus being more diffuse than advertised is at minimum (to me, in my opinion, for my purposes, etc.) quite frustrating. More realistically, it's a fucking chore. His prose is...

...well, it's ornamented. Some of that ornament is to be expected for a text of this vintage and pedigree. Not all of it, though.

I should be more charitable. Page uses all this as a cushion for 'upwards of two hundred wood-cuts' (some in color!) and 53 copperplate engravings, all of which are his own. He also, so far as I can tell, printed all of the same for the first edition of this book. This is, at minimum, tremendous. For its purposes, the explanations (however generously so called) are mostly sufficient.

The Object

I can't speak to the printing and binding work, but I can admire the woodcuts and engraving. With the magic of portably formatted documents (via PNGs, anyway), you can too!

Nothing here is a masterwork, strictly speaking, but everything is at least an order of magnitude better than it needs to be for a book like this. This is a stunt, and an impressive one. The fact it doesn't stick the landing shouldn't convince you otherwise.

The Why, Though?

Most of my interest in this is engraving-flavored. While this is a book put together by engraving, it is not a book about engraving, not even really about drawing for engravings. The aim here is mostly architectural — design components for columns, molding, trophies, friezes, etc. — with a heavy helping of selling readers on the currency of Page's style and approach to teaching it. I care neither about nor for that stuff.

If you're willing to squint, there's plenty else to take home. This is a worse history of the acanthus in ornament than, say, this blog post by a living ornamental painter, and a worse visual reference than, for example, this Grammar of Ornament from the same publisher. For my purposes, though, this offers a decent couple dozen schematics to use while learning relatively simple motifs.

Lots of the linework and structural concepts exhibited translate in subtle and interesting ways to more modern styles of scrollwork (both engraved and especially tattooed), which seems like magic to me. One benefit of having no training or experience whatsoever is that even the fundamentals seem like cool secret knowledge.

#images #untitled wednesday library series

58 notes · View notes

demi-shoggoth · 8 months

Text

2023 Reading Log, pt. 11

51. The Book of Fun by Russ Frushtick. This is a collection of anecdotes about and descriptions of various ways that people have fun, such as toys, games, festivals and theme parks. Each page has a paragraph or two of text and a painting to accompany it, and the book covers everything from the history of Coney Island to the time World of Warcraft had a plague. It’s a fun little miscellany, a good bathroom reader type of book, but not very substantial.

52. Queer Ducks (And Other Animals) by Eliot Schrefer. This book is aimed at young adult audiences (think high school students) and is about animal sexuality. It summarizes quite a bit of research, including pretty new material, covering homosexual behavior in animals. The thesis, of course, is that animals have a wide range of sexual behaviors, so these existing in humans as well is perfectly natural. The book also has interviews with a number of queer biologists about their research and their experiences with representation, intersectionality and other topics. Plus, there’s cartoons! Honestly, the cartoons are probably my least favorite part; they’re cute and have a funny premise (a QSA meeting at a high school for animals), but the animals are all mean and judgy with each other. This feels like it misses the point, even if it might be more accurate to the high school experience. Still, the writing is good, and it covers some stuff I had never heard of, like velvet bucks and other mammals that have common intersex members.

53. Sentient by Jackie Higgins. This book is about senses, using examples from the animal kingdom as a launching point to discuss how the sense works in humans. The book starts with vision, covering the many (tumblr famous) cones of the mantis shrimp, but how recent evidence suggests their color vision isn’t actually particularly good. I was familiar with most of the animal examples discussed, but a lot of the content on human health and senses was new to me. The material that wasn’t new to me, like the controversy over whether humans have pheromones are not, is told very well. And the coverage of the different kinds of touch, and how humans have touch receptors that seem to be linked to areas that are commonly groomed in other primates that are connected to things like mood and mental health… well, that helped put my touch starvation into context.

54. The Devil’s Atlas by Edward Brooke-Hitching. I usually quite like Edward Brooke-Hitching books, so this one was something of a surprise disappointment. The book talks about how different religions and cultures have conceptualized heavens, hells and other afterlives, with copious illustrations. My first complaint is the sorting into heavens and hells, when a lot of the afterlives discussed don’t really fit into the model of paradise or torment. The coverage of each is pretty superficial—there’s a post-script about utopias (including More’s Utopia) that I feel could have been cut in place of more thorough takes on the religions. My biggest complaint, though, is an editing one. No fewer than eight chapters are cut off, so that the last sentence (or even paragraph) is incomplete. It’s remarkably frustrating, and it took me right out of the book.

55. Snakes of the World by Mark O’Shea. Another in the X of the World series put out by Princeton University Press, this is pretty similar in content to the other books in the series. The first quarter or so of the pages are devoted to an overview of the biology of the group, and the rest of it is surveys of its biodiversity, organized by subfamilies and geographic regions. Mark O’Shea also wrote Lizards of the World, and this book seems in many ways to be a direct sequel to it. The main draw, of course, are the species accounts, which include gorgeous photography of a wide variety of species, including some very obscure taxa.

#reading log #snakes #herpetology #comparative religion #folklore #art book #animal behavior #neuroscience #biology #lgtbq #queer #games

26 notes · View notes

tiptapricot · 9 months

Text

Moon Knight City of the Dead Issue 1… why…?

So. New MK side run has begun, the hyped up full on debut of Layla/new Scarlet Scarab in the comics, with a premise that most writers would twist into an epic and breathtaking journey.

We don’t get that here.

And I have a lot of thoughts on why and how I feel so frustrated with what we got. There’s pieces of something awesome, potential to go to some really fascinating places, and yet it is held back in almost every aspect, creating something messy and clunky that makes me mad to read.

(This is long btw)

First off though, some things I did enjoy!

I really love the art and coloring of this issue. The anatomy and movement and shadows, the stylization of character’s faces and costumes, the sprawling city with its deep reds and blues that feel saturated and weighty. It’s great. Besides a few moments that it comes out of left field with some bad stuff (Layla’s whole face at the end or the MK mask w teeth during the memory slideshow like whaTtt is that), it’s super solid and made for a very enjoyable looking comic.

It was also really fun to see Badr for a little. I think it would’ve been cool to get more, and the pacing of things as I’ll get to later sapped his importance in the story for me some, making him feel more like a prop or a plot device to get it going, but overall it was lovely to see him again. And it was cool to see him being a doctor as well, as we haven’t seen that as recently in MacKay! Always a joy my dear sir please come back soon.

The story in concept. Going to the underworld, detaching a headmate supernaturally to journey to a different plane of reality to save one life, and meeting a dead ally along the way is fascinating stuff, an idea that inspires me to want to explore it myself.

Because (and now it’s time to get into the stuff I didn’t like) the writing doesn’t do this idea justice at all.

This is not the worst MK comic ever rn, not their worst writing. It’s not as violently ableist or antisemitic as things like Bemis or making a joke out of MK like some others, but it’s just stupid, and what it glosses over or gets wrong is weird and uncomfortable and harmful in its own right.

To start this isn’t my Marc. His guilt is not one of punishment for penance, of believing he’s sinned and needs to be washed clean by pain. He is a man stuck in bad coping mechanisms and trying to pretend he’s not. He’s a man who hates himself and uses violence as what I would describe as a form of self harm. But it is not with the goal of erasing his past.

Yes, he runs from the person of Marc Spector, he runs from the idea and the responsibility, but Marc doesn’t try to forget. He holds onto things with a vice grip and never lets himself drop it. He believes in his own mythos and is grappling with his complicated and traumatized history to remember he can love and care and trust people again, that the work of making his life better is not solely on his shoulders. That’s what MacKay’s been dealing with.

MacKay Marc is guilty and self flagellating but in a way he tries not to think about, that he brushes over. He puts on an air of confident collectedness and has more hate for Marc as a concept then specifically his actions, and he’s still able to move forward and find a type of momentum and bravado in the MK suit.

Or in simpler terms: yes Marc has guilt. He does not have this kind of guilt.

The first few pages read so strangely, just this over dramatic spiel that feels more like daredevil than moon knight, like a rehashed dramatic intro to a moody sad 90s comic. And not in a good way. It’s not deep it’s just annoying and tedious and the prose is clunky and again, extremely off in its vibes and message. I think it could’ve been alright, if some of the talk of his guilt had been shifted and the narration hadn’t continued constantly throughout the rest of the issue (which I’ll get to later), but as is in its full context it’s just… weird.

In addition to the weird guilt vibes, there’s further issues with the Khonshu religiosity in this.

Khonshu isn’t something Marc worships, he’s something he uses for his own means. He’ll call on him or talk about being the priest of the mission, but that’s because Khonshu doesn’t have oversight, he’s a tool and form of direction and theming, and at the story’s core Marc is the priest for his mission, not this god’s.

At points in this issue he genuinely sounds dedicated though, and it shifts the flavor of earlier pieces more in line with his usual monologuing to seeming more like strange spiritual devotion. Especially calling Khonshu the greatest of great gods, or saying that him being in the underworld is Khonshu’s mission. It changes his actions from that of Marc to that of a real Khonshu follower and its…. Just weird. It’s all just weird and very ooc.

On top of that, there’s no mention or interrogation or even presence of discussing Judaism alongside all of this. I’m not Jewish myself but have had multiple convos around the topic w those who are n who have made their own posts discussing it and can add on more nuance n info to this should they like (bc more thoughts for discussion are always awesome), but just on a surface level it’s strange. It’s strange to have a plot revolving around going to another belief system’s afterlife and not at all bringing up how it clashes or relates to Jewish beliefs. Yes Marc isn’t really actively practicing anymore but I’d hazard Jake probably is, and Marc has still talked about his connection to his faith and how it’s impacted his time as moon knight and serving Khonshu.

The text treats the Egyptian pantheon belief system as the True and Accepted default here, with Marc not even discussing anything about going to an afterlife he doesn’t belong in (and shouldn’t even have) as a Jewish man, or even thinking about how Badr discussing Ka conflicts with Jewish beliefs on the soul and how Neshamah differ.

And yes, Marc works regularly with the very real Egyptian pantheon and mystical systems but it’s in a different way, and under a different context and understanding by readers of his acceptance of it.

A whole other layer of depth, conflict, and exploration could’ve been added by really digging into the theological implications of this plot, of a Jewish soul in the Egyptian afterlife, and yet it’s not brought up at all, not referenced or mentioned and it makes it all feel weirdly out of place, or like stuff is being glossed over.

That, on top of Jake and Steven (not to mention the entire rest of the main mission cast) being completely absent in mention, consultation, presence, or anything just feeds into this strange sense of Pepose wanting Marc to be the idea he has of him in his head, this guilty, sad, and violent merc serving a moon god with not a ton else. And yes again those are all aspects of Marc, but there is nuance to each of those aspects and treating him as a singlet with no thoughts on the conflicts in faith of his present is… just weird.

I don’t know if he’ll be treated as a singlet the whole run, but the fact that the body’s soul being sent into the afterlife has not already brought in any system conflict at all is an issue. Is it their collective soul? Is it just Marc’s? How does this comic understand alter soul distinction? Has it thought about it at all? I mean the answer is no but the thing is it should’ve.

That’s where so many of my issues with this come from though: choices just being… not good. Not thought out or in line with the characters and world. The writing is off and out of place and gOD THE CONSTANT NARRATION IS GRATING!!

I don’t know why it was chosen for Marc to novel write his thoughts and observations the whole issue but it’s bad. It goes past introducing plots or observations that can’t be shown in text to either:

1. Filling space that doesn’t need to be filled

2. Restating what has just been said or shown in a panel (“we have the power of the four horsemen” “wow they just got the power of the four horsemen”)

3. At worst, telling us stuff that was not indicated at all by anything else (“oh I know something is wrong here even though I have not been given enough reason to pique that suspicion” “oh I reunite with Layla and hold her and take her in but haha you don’t see that ig”)

It’s annoying and makes reading things difficult because he’s blabbering on the whole time in places he DOESNT NEED TO!! And it makes the action and emotional movement feel awkward and forced. I don’t need to know every second of Marc’s thoughts Pepose I can parse out things with my eyes I promise you that. Also can he stop talking about penance for TWO SECONDS!!!

The worst part is narration works when done well! When it highlights things that can’t be shown in art or gives some bits of exploration into feelings or exposition, but we don’t need it in every panel. It actually confused some parts of where to look for me by telling me what was about to happen before it did. Stop being like “I thought it was over but—“ JUST LET US SEE ITS NOT OVER!!

Another moment (similar ish to the start) where the narration would’ve worked for me (if it was not surrounded by just more constant narrating monologue) is when Marc first arrives in the Duat. The prose is pretty, it’s vibrant, it describes things the audience wouldn’t be able to pick up from static pictures and helps to set the scene. The only issue is that it doesn’t stand on its own, it’s not an interjection of observations and thoughts, it’s another entry in the never ending cycle of Marc just talking. And it loses some of its luster because of that.

There’s also just a handful of pieces of either dialogue or thoughts that (in the context of Steven and Jake being absent at the moment despite not being absent at the point in time this should be taking place) make me feel very uncomfortable with Pepose’s vibes on their mental health. Some lines that rubbed me the wrong way in context include “The rage fills within me—and suddenly I have a plan. That said, it would help if my plan wasn’t dangerously insane.” “You know me Badr, mental discipline is my middle name.” And a few similar ones I don’t want to reread again for.

They’re just unnecessary man. We don’t need vaguely or directly ableist vibes in words with MK anymore. It works if it feels like it’s coming from Marc’s internalized ableism IE when he was talking about being called crazy during the discussion with Steven and Jake and Jake called him out for it, but when it’s obvious it’s just how the author sees things it sucks!

Stop using insane, stop using crazy, stop being like “oh I’m so good at keeping myself in check,” WE DONT NEED IT!! ALSO THEY R AT A GENERAL POINT OF SYSTEM COMMUNICATION N HARMONY RN!!

Which also just… man this feels like it’s trying to introduce MK instead of continuing an already established and well under way arc. Yea, this isn’t MacKay writing it, but it’s still in the continuity and set up for his run and like… sorry not sorry but I think you should take that context into account if you’re going to be working within it???

Instead the story props itself up by trying to introduce everything at once and Marc feels like he’s starting from the bottom of development.

And speaking of introducing everything at once! Oh boy the pacing!

No one besides Badr is consulted before Marc goes into the Duat, Badr just. Sends him there. There’s no real build up for why there’s a need go that far, for what the threat is or why Marc would go to these lengths so suddenly. Like yeah I know he wants to save a kid who’s a traveler of the night, but like… Others have died or almost died on his watch and he’s never gone to this point before, even though it seems like it’s always something they’ve had as an option. Like… ok ig if Soldier hadn’t been vamped he would just be dead lmao (though also hey! Why and how do souls end up in this afterlife? Do they have to believe in the gods? Do they have to be in some way tied to the pantheon? Is it just where souls go if they’re near moon knight lmaO? If you want to have your afterlife plot you have to do the worldbuilding for it)

And while yes, a lot of this is because This Plot Wasnt Thought Up During Earlier Parts Of Mackay, it also isn’t introduced in a way that feels natural or makes sense.

Events just Happen. Mysteries or drives are just Said without a good basis for why they’re there. Again, this cult was talked about as just kinda a sadistic gang but then they’re a big deal? And oh the kid is dying and oh he’s worth going to the afterlife for and OH WERE JUST HERE NOW and “oh there’s a conspiracy I’ve decided with no real evidence” and HEY FOUND THE GUY and—Suddenly a whole lot of what is happening. God heart full on cult horsemen of the apocalypse memory flashback and BOMBS NOW APPARENTLY and LAYLA and MK BIG PAST BADDIES BOSS FIGHT INCOMING!!

Like ohhhh my god stuff is so rushed and happens so inorganically and with no time to really understand what’s happening. It’s a type of story where my suspension of disbelief isn’t there and it fully just feels like seeing the writer trying to get to the end goal of what they want to write about (moon knight fighting old villains) as quickly as possible. And it SUCKS! Like this genuinely should’ve been more than one issue, there should’ve been at least sOme more build up to gEtting to the city of the dead in the first place, no matter additionally uncovering a plot of some sort happening and Layla turning up.

It’s just…. It’s so rushed and strange and forced and it didn’t have to be and IT MAKES ME MAD IT IS and it’s just not enjoyable to read. It all feels so shallow and stilted and weird, all while having this underlying idea with so much weight, some generally gorgeous art, some moments that could’ve been really awesome, and last but not least…. Literally a good reference to doing a Duat plot well.

This whole mini run is for MCU synergy, bringing Layla in, exploring the Duat and it’s lore, and again yes, the run isn’t done, but it just…. Compared to the MCU plot for the Duat this feels so…. GraaggHhggh. Especially when it comes to system interaction and exploring different painful memories that effect headmates in different ways.

It’s just. It was an extremely frustrating read from both a technical writing standpoint and a character exploration standpoint, and it worries me and doesn’t excite me at all for future issues. Like we’ll sEe but goddamn this is not a good start no matter how it plays out and it doesn’t give me confidence if it turns out I have to read several more issues of this kind of stuff.

Petty nitpicks speed run because there wasn’t enough enjoyable padding for them to not stand out!

I don’t know if Pepose could’ve specified or not but Marc’s not drinking vodka in the opening scene, it looks more like whiskey or something similar by the bottle, again nailing home how strangely off this Marc is from the Marc he’s meant to be with how Mackay has built him up.

Why do they use Duat and City of the Dead like they’re interchangeable titles it’s just the Duat like I get calling it “the city of the dead” since it is that but like. Let that just b the run title they shouldn’t be calling it that like it’s a final name.

They misspell Dr. Alraune’s name lmao

How did the kid get… hurt..? The only point in the opening fight I can think he maybe got hit was with the gunfire but it didn’t seem like that was aimed towards him and there wasn’t any moment of having a detail in the background showing him get injured. And he wasn’t lethally injured at the start so ???

What… is the continuity between the Hydra vs Karnak Cowboys fight we see in MacKay and the flashback here. They were on an empty road there when they crashed? And now they’re in the heart of the city? AlsO bOMBS???

Anyway all I’ll wrap it up with is when the only thing I genuinely smile at is the cameo and namedrop of Apocalypse you know something is wrong with your story lmaO

#moon knight #moon knight comics #moon knight city of the dead #the fruit is talking again #marc spector #mikes mk meta

29 notes · View notes

mauricetheblurst · 3 months

Note

Heyy there,just wanna say that I absolutely love your linocuts, specially how funny and colored they are! Can't wait to SEE more of your creative/printing process :))

Thanks for the love !

I'm kinda dying to discuss this so I'll take the opportunity, if only for myself, to express my thoughts and structure them. Hope you don't mind me using your ask to do this.

Recently, the process has mostly involved tracing base images and modifying them before transferring onto a sheet of "engraving eraser" (idk what the english term for it is but someone likened it to what they call "keshigomu" in Japan, where it seems pretty well spread) which I think is just softer lino.

Sir Clappemcheek the 1st, on carbon paper; and my trusty blade

I used to draw on regular erasers with a pencil but it's much messier, less precise and runs the risk of damaging the surface. There's also another kind I use that's a bit softer that you can press a pencil drawing on paper onto and it will transfer, skipping the carbon paper step. It's thicker, a little less precise and a little bit crumbly, but I like it a lot

type of sheets I've been on

I try to do a healthy mix of drawing my own stuff and tracing. Because I haven't had any formal training, I figure the more I trace and tweak said traced designs, the better I'll get at standing on my own two feet and coming up with entirely original designs, while also not feeling too frustrated at myself and having fun carving cool designs.

Full disclosure: I have been using some AI generated pictures as a base for a number of those, because they provide a very convenient starting point, help me get poses right, or at least help me understand how a pose might be wrong and how to fix it. I'm not a fan (understatement) of generative AI's recent developments and the way some people revere it as some kind of higher power, but I still find it helpful as a learning tool, and I feel like my printmaking is transformative enough to be in a different category from the usual output of "prompters".

the AI pic I traced the original sir Clappemcheek from

I would actually love to know people's thoughts on my use of it, good or bad or if they even care at all, as I've been feeling a little self-conscious/doubtful about it, in the face of the positive reaction some of my prints have been getting. This is also partly why I hesitate on the ethics of selling prints (at least those made using AI pics as a base).

Still, I do my best to not get complacent and keep drawing, or at least use other sources (the big tittied landsknecht was traced from an Albrecht Durer engraving and then bimbofied by hand)

what Albrecht Durer always envisioned

As for ink, I use just good old ink pads that I press the stamps into until I get decent coverage. Still have to look into the little roller setup I usually see in linoprinting, but I also feel like that might work better for larger pieces than what I do, and for a "standard" format. With the way I tend to cut out the stamp from the sheet, pressing the paper on top of the stamp is more awkward than pressing the stamp on the paper.

These are some of my thoughts, however jumbled, and I'm very grateful for the interest my silly little crafts have generated.

#linoprinting #linocarving #linoprint #printmaking #blockprint #artistic process

12 notes · View notes

wigglebox · 9 months

Text

art blog update! - i should like, actually label these lol as i’m trying to venture into making art for a living

anyway, i guess, NEW entry ?

but also this is housekeeping

but i will be trying to transition back a little into how i used to draw back in like, 2021 in terms of basic shapes and shadows, where the figures were a little smaller, less detailed, and more about the mood and all that.

when looking at my art now with the lineart and the lighting, i feel like i’m losing myself a little too much, and for a while i’ve been growing a little frustrated that the heads didn’t seem to be matching the bodies, you know? Like, the way i drew their faces is a really stylized way but then the bodies were just... there.

And the lineart is fun but also really annoying and i feel like it takes away something special from the mood i’m trying to convey and it makes things feel more stiff and more...idk, trapped? Idk how to describe it. It’s not to say I don’t like the recent stuff i’ve done with lineart and i may still do lineart in some way shape or form, but it feels like my art is trying to be something it’s not and aiming for a goal that doesn’t benefit it.

and this past Sunday i felt really sad about my art which is is partially bc i’m entering ‘the red zone’ [the week before my period hits where i’m a little more down on myself] but also i know that when i’m sad and frustrated over my art, it means i need to think about switching something up or learning something new.

so i’m going back to something like this BUT, with better understanding of my brushes, lighting, composition, and colors lol.

Because this is when it felt like my art was hitting the mood and tones that i wanted.

I’m gonna try and move back to making their faces not as bulbous and their eyes a little further apart and work on shapes and composition over clean lineart and all that.

this is an effort to try and get my brain back into the emotions of my art.

*there are still some bang pieces and other works that i have right now that will not be like this, and so when you see them posted just know that it was created before i’ve made this decision to retrace my art journey a little bit lol.

** i truly can’t wait for the bang pieces to be done lol because the stories i have are really cute ;_;

okay ... mini blog entry is done bye bye have a good week! lol

<3 wigglebox

#art blog #art blog entry #wiggleart #idk #alwkfjlwkej #like this doesn't impact folks but i also wanted to give a heads up if you've gotten used to the cell shading and the lighting and stuff #long post

21 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs