#become the solution to whatever issues you have and never seeing the need to change and reach out and fix things yourself- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hockybish · 6 months

Text

Bedtime Blues

l West Winds au l dad!trevor l masterlist l blurb l

"Do you trust me?"

"No Trevor, not when you don't-"

"Stop, Tallulah, just stop" Trevor cut her off

There was pause in the conversation. The couple looking anywhere but at each other, both not wanting to break the silence.

"I um, I think I should go home tonight"

Bean replayed the argument in her mind. It was stupid really a simple breakdown in communication that lead to her questioning him and him angrily leaving for the night.

If only he had talked to about the thing and maybe -

"Mommy! Daddy! I'm ready!" Zephyr's voice rang through their home.

He had been doing his nightly routine, which included a bath tonight. And now he was done and ready for his parents to read him a story and give him hugs and kisses.

"Hey baby" She kissed the top of his head, sitting in the bed next to him, pretending nothing was different from any other night. "What book are we reading tonight?"

"This one. I want Daddy to do the funny voices." The child proudly held out the book he chose.

"Is it alright if Mommy does them tonight?" Bean knew she was no where near the story reader that Trevor was, but she hoped and prayed that for one night, it would be okay.

"No, you don't do it right, only Daddy."

"I know baby, but Daddy had to leave, so Mommy has to do it."

"Daddy gone?" Bean nodded at her confused child. She could see the gears turning and a meltdown coming.

"But he didn't tell me goodbye." Zephyr's face turned from confusion to sadness when his lip started quivering and tears started flowing from his eyes.

"I'm sorry"

"No!" Zephyr started to get upset, throwing his favorite book and pushing his mother away before tossing himself on the floor crying. "I want my Daddy!"

Trevor knew leaving probably wasn't the best idea and most definitely wasn't going to solve whatever issue they were having. He just needed a moment, so spending the night in his own home was the best solution.

He was almost home when his phone went off, Bean's name popping up on the screen. He almost declined it by letting ring, but a gut feeling told him to answer it.

"What?" His voice came off a little more harsh than he intended.

"You never said goodnight." There was a lot of commotion in the background he could hardly understand what she was saying.

"What?" Trevor asked again, this time his voice changing becoming a little softer.

"You never said goodnight, you weren't here to read the story and do the funny voices." Bean's voice cracked over the phone. "He won't stop crying for you."

That's what the noise was. Zephyr crying.

"Please come back"

Bean didn't have to ask him twice. Once it was safe, Trevor turned the car around and sped off back towards his family.

Zephyr launched himself into Trevor's arms the moment he saw him. He wasn't too happy with his mother right now and just wants his daddy.

"What's wrong Zeph?"

"I don't love Mommy right now. Hate Mommy. Want you." Zeph rubbed his blanket over his tired eyes.

"Hey now, that's not very nice. Mommy loves you very much. She's trying okay buddy?"

Trevor could tell he didn't mean it, it was the sleep deprivation talking. In the morning after a good night sleep he could change his mind.

"Do you want to come home with Daddy?" He could feel Zeph's heading nodding against his chest. It was decided they'll have a little sleepover.

Zephyr fell asleep at some point in time on the drive to Trevor's. Exhaustion finally taking over and lull of the car convincing him to close his eyes.

Trevor laid him in his bed and snapped a photo, sending it to Bean, letting her know that they got to their destination and someone was already asleep.

tilly bean: im sorry about the fight Z: well talk about it tomorrow

tilly bean: i love you z Z: i love you more bean

They were going to be alright. She's his endgame after all.

#west winds au #trevor x bean #trevor zegras #zephyr zegras #dad!trevor au

74 notes · View notes

plaguedoctormemes · 2 months

Text

i'm not deleting my tumblr blogs but this whole debacle with the AI stuff is discouraging me to at least not post original content here and limit my time on social media in general. Also to be clear on my stance on AI, which I think is very much influenced by my background as both an artist and a professional graphic designer: I think it can be a very useful tool and I don't even necessarily inherently find it completely harmful. Some forms of AI are already well used and completely normalized, but I find most of the time generative AI as we know it is pretty harmful and its harms outweighs its benefits currently (largely grifts, scams and misinfo). It needs regulation desperately, but old cunt politicians are too dumb to really care about or understand how important the issue is right now. I do not believe that AI will simply peter off or crash. From a marketing standpoint, i feel like AI usage will cool off or become more specialized (like creating whole machines *just* trained on individual brands for personal use and whatnot) but I have no idea how far away that would be. I just believe there might come a time where everyone is over the "spectacle" of generative AI and will find it inaffective or inherently associated with cheapness. At least in the most base sense in advertising, it is generally much better to have your own photographs and original branded artwork as it proves authenticity. You can only see a illusionist do so many tricks before you're bored by them and expect them, and we're already getting to the point where even the average Joe is tired of hearing about AI and the future, and at least when it comes to art and writing i just... don't care? i don't give a shit about it. BACK TO TUMBLR: I'm aware that its likely that mine and everyone elses' posts here have already been scraped. My thing is that it's more the symbolism of Tumblr's "opt-out" choice: memorial blogs, inactive blogs, and so on are going to be scraped without consent. No banners or pop ups to notify users of this change, you either have to either HAPPEN UPON to see staff's post or see others talk about it to even know about it. Since the beginning of this whole AI boom i had no issue with AI data training as long as it's consentual and ethical, but obviously it most of the time isnt. Tumblr's method of rolling out this change was purposely underhanded. I'm never going to simply be "okay" or normalize in my mind the fact that big tech companies feel entitled to people's privacy- which i believe extends to our online lives. I don't think myself or anyone else should ever feel completely apathetic to the fact that people you don't know, that definitely do not need it, are making money off of you without your consent or knowledge. Just to be clear this isnt about what is and isnt "real art" or whatever for me. It's just a huge distraction from the main point, a big debate that will go absolutely nowhere. What's more important about it is that big techs and billionaires don't have interest in making the world a better place, they only care about eliminating our "distractions" that get in the way of them making money and accumulating more wealth. My solution: We need to make them deepthroat shotguns and machetes.

#violent text at the very end #long post #the doctor is in #also reminder im also posting on cohost #under Hade and PlagueDoctor #ive been busy w work this week but i plan on slowly putting all my stuff there

28 notes · View notes

codenamesazanka · 1 month

Text

418 Thoughts

Love how The Walk became a non-issue. I had imagined that when the memory came, Deku would see all the bystanders ignoring Tenko and feel rightfully disgusted, understanding what Shigaraki had complained about in Jaku and connecting with his own experience of a selfish mob of civilians, and then chase after Tenko to become the one who reaches out a hand. Instead The Walk (so far) has become a two panel flashback. Deku does get to see those memories and feel those emotions - Tenko says 'Let Go', because he believes he doesn't deserve the help, he's being punished for killing his family - and Deku doesn't let go, instead comforting Tenko that he's here regardless, so in a way The Walk is addressed... but in doing so, it feels like the bystanders are resolved of their complicity. Maybe even that Tenko was indeed being ignored and should be ignored for killing his family and being born with his hands—but luckily Deku is heroic enough to still help him despite that. I've said before that the solutions the manga offers isn't that things should change on a large scale, only that there should be one exceptional person who happens to be at the scene to help the victim endure (and not eventually lash out). This is kinda a continuation of that. Addressing how the family turned a blind eye to Kotarou's maltreatment of Tenko? Addressing how the streets full of people ignored a five-year-old? The memory foray Deku goes through here doesn't do any of that. What Deku does is stop Tenko's Decay from going wild by offering up his own body (which is very brave of him!), and to tell Tenko he's here (which is good and needed, someone should be in Tenko's corner!), but that this is the save, this specific solution, sort of reframes the problem then as an individual problem: That Tenko has a quirk that kills, and feels the hatred/catharsis/sadness/confusion that allowed the quirk to go out of control; and that the right Hero wasn't at the scene to stop him. (if we get the reveal that AFO gave Tenko a quirk, that this all becomes irrelevant though.) (Also, last week, Nana apologizes not for abandoning Kotarou in the first place, but for not being strong enough to defeat AFO and come home. Kinda misses the point in the same way, imo) I have confessed before that I don't like Deku as a character, but I really had wanted him to see The Walk, to understand this side of Hero Society. And him chasing Tenko through the streets, to symbolically resist the lure of 'what everyone else is doing/what is normal/follow the routine of society' and do the simple thing of taking the step to reach out a hand to a lost soul - that would be the pure heroism of helping. But it seems the story doesn't want this, and I have to accept it. Okay.

The League showing up and Shigaraki stating that he needs to be a Hero for the villains is so good. That he's doing this for them. That even if his own hatred fades and he's empty, what's left is his friendship and innate heroism for the outcasts. ...However, given how it's turning out all the villains were actually mostly mistaken about problems in society and nothing major needs to be changed, they only needed a Hero bestie and to endure whatever life threw at them, this becomes kinda sad and misguided. Poor Shigaraki/Tenko. He thinks he's doing this for his friends, he thinks he's being a hero-villain, but he's actually just making things worse. Not even, actually, because he's never made a decision in his life.

I do think it’s interesting that it’s AFO who says this. “Even though until now, you haven’t chosen a single thing.” Like, if it was Deku who said this, or if Shigaraki had realized it himself, it would be seen as the truth to unconditionally accept, right? “Hey Shigaraki, wake up, your whole life has been engineered by this evil megalomaniac. You don’t truly want any of this.” Exposing AFO’s lies, so that Shigaraki can ditch them and now find something real. Accepting the truth is the resolution; it’s freedom, it’s salvation, it’s the light. Challenging it in any way, even for the smaller stuff (“No, but it was I who chose the League.”), is denial, or doesn’t subtract from the larger overall point. But here, it’s AFO saying this, it’s the Bad Guy saying this, and it feels like it's set up for a rejection. Like, AFO is being full-blown evil, condescending and dismissive and hurtful - you’re weak, you’re useless, you have never chosen a single thing - and so it’s time for Shigaraki to prove him wrong. Or for Deku to help Shigaraki prove him wrong. It’s not the most clear cut of lines, but I do think it’s there.

Saw a theory that with AFO posing as someone from a construction company, it means AFO built the Shimura House. It's absolutely beautiful in how it destroys everything that was built up about Shigaraki (correctly) disliking society. “Everything I’ve witnessed in this world of ours… lead to the existence of that house…” - but really, it’s all engineered by AFO. Everything Shigaraki hates is actually created by AFO. All the rejection he thought he felt was actually fake. At this point I’m expecting The Walk to also have been engineered by AFO - he used a quirk to make everyone turn away or something (which would track with The Walk being a non-issue as mentioned above). At this point I’m also expecting the house that AFO built to be emitting some brain waves that forced Kotarou to slap Tenko, and made the rest of the family cowardly (and after all, AFO is responsible for Kotarou becoming bitter and cold by forcing Nana to abandon her son). I have to applaud it.

#nalslastworkingbraincell

21 notes · View notes

crossingalaxies · 1 year

Text

hot take apparently but to me it’s tiring and boring and frankly a baffling way to approach tv or any other media to engage with fictional characters only to ‘judge’ them. like you can’t just let them make whatever mistakes they’re making or be as flawed and fucked up as they want without judging if they have behaved well enough for whatever standard you hold them up to and how they should correct their behaviour moving forward. are you watching a fictional show or filling up an employee evaluation sheet???

‘this character should have done this’ ‘that character should not have done that’ okay???? who cares. it would be supremely boring, not to mention unrealistic, if fictional characters only behaved in the most adequate perfectly reasonable way possible. so they fucked up? so they fucked up again and again and didn’t learn their lesson the first time? okay??? that’s life???

‘but we didn’t see this character learn from their mistakes and grow’. you ARE seeing it, it’s a process, not something that happens after ONE time they were confronted with their mistakes, especially if said mistakes are tied to one of their cardinal flaws rooted in the very essence of the character itself. it’s so much more interesting and rewarding to me as a viewer, not to mention easier for me to get attached to characters who are complete and utter messes, characters who stumble and fall, even when they should know better, characters who don’t immediately learn from their mistakes, who fail again and again, but keep trying to be better, and still through it all, they are loved, because they are deserving of it no matter what they think.

‘but this conversation should have happened sooner’ okay well it didn’t. people make dumb choices all the time, they act irresponsibly and unreasonably all the time, no matter how mature or level-headed they might be.

‘but this relationship doesn’t feel healthy’ okay here’s the thing: ‘healthy relationship’ has become just another buzzword that tiktok users throw around without understanding at all what it means. ‘healthy relationship’ doesn’t mean two people need to be on the same page about everything, it doesn’t mean mistakes are made once, dealt with and never made again; a healthy relationship isn’t based on 100% compatibility or perfect communication at all times and perfect solutions to every problem. it’s based on mutual respect and love and the willingness to make compromises, and to keep trying to understand each other better and choose each other every day. if there is a failure of communication or a disagreement or an inability to come to a perfect soultion for whatever issue, that in itself doesn’t make a relationship unhealthy. and honestly even if it did, so what? it’s fictional, it adds flavour! (not to mention expecting humans to always be perfectly emotionally healthy is... well not realistic, to say the least).

‘but they should learn to communicate better before they get married’ marriage isn’t some kind of prize that only perfectly functional couples are worthy of, some final achievement for the perfect relationship. relationships are changing and growing all the time, they don’t have to reach a perfect final level of ‘healthy’ before they can be awarded the prize of marriage. relationships keep evolving and couples keep learning more about each other all the time, during marriage just like before. the idea that a relationship is doomed unless it reaches its final form of perfection before marriage is crazy.

and on a final note, HOW do you watch a fictional couple that disagrees on having children work out not necessarily a final solution, but a compromise, with one of them admitting they have issues to deal with and trauma to process, and the other realizing that the kids issue is not a dealbreaker because ultimately what they want most is their partner, and come away thinking ‘well that’s not a very good relationship’?????

#911 lone star #tarlos #carlos reyes #tk strand #911ls #kind of just venting because i finally caught up with ls and the latest drama rip #sorry if this sounds harsh but my god this fandom is turning into kind of a miserable place #reminds me of the og fandom a bit #except that i think buddie fans act like this because they never quite get what they want #while tarlos fans are a bit too spoiled and so they find a way to turn a normally flawed relationship into the equal of an unhealthy one #like people are really saying that tk and carlos are incompatible and unhealthy because they don't like the same kind of pets #are we FOR REAL #i saw someone on twitter say that tarlos make loustat seem healthy in comparison #and as a loustat fan as well let me tell you that is a Hysterical take #i'm guessing it wasn't entirely serious but still #lol

53 notes · View notes

mbti-notes · 3 months

Text

Anon wrote: Hello, I'm seeking advice on helping my ISFJ mom feel more confident about changing her relationship dynamic with her brother and mom. I'm close to her, and she values my mental health advice. I have ideas on how to do this but need practical solutions and examples. Any guidance is appreciated!

I'm from a therapy-limited country. My traditional family, though not toxic, faces challenges. Thanks to grandma in the past, mom and uncle are now successful. In gratitude, Mom lives with Granny for reciprocity, leading to our current situation.

Grandma consistently hurts mom without apologizing, creating a one-sided dynamic. Mom struggles with setting boundaries and changing her perception of what makes a 'decent' person. Despite my attempts to explain the concept of boundaries, it's perceived as encouraging her to be more 'selfish' or risky. Mom is highly self-critical, fearing others see her as immoral, but this fear is primarily fueled by grandma's spiteful comments. The idea of grandma not living with us is seen as a threat to mom's mental well-being.

Uncle, though respected by ppl outside home, is a source of family tension. Grandma's bias towards him results in unfair treatment, with the family expected to serve his needs. Mom sacrifices for him, but when she needs help, grandma is indifferent. Uncle is unaware of the family dynamics and attempts to enlighten him result in backlash from grandma or his dismissal of the issues as insignificant.

Granny relies on our family for help a lot, while uncle remains uninvolved. When we mention his lack of contribution, she defends him by citing Mom's voluntary choice to let her stay, claiming he owes her nothing despite her past support for uncle.

In this complex situation, mom bears the entire burden of running the household, making it challenging for her to seek help. Uncle remains oblivious to the family's struggles, behaving as if they owe him. Despite efforts to communicate with him, he views it as mere dislike rather than understanding the impact of his actions.

Navigating our family dynamics is challenging, requiring effective communication and understanding. How can we voice our concerns effectively? Thank you for reading

---------------------

Changing ingrained family dynamics is quite difficult for many reasons. The first obstacle that often comes up is a problem of perception. You can't really control how people interpret or misinterpret things.

For example, it's difficult for one member of a family to raise a concern when the other members immediately perceive it as a personal attack. People at low levels of ego development automatically process criticism as an ego threat, which means they easily become defensive. Once a person becomes defensive, good communication is no longer possible, because the main goal becomes silencing the criticism by whatever means necessary. This usually manifests as sweeping the problem under the rug, only to have it resurface again and again.

If people are sensitive to criticism, you have a lot more work to do in order to reach them. Firstly, you have to work through your blame and adopt a more big-picture attitude that focuses on the greater good, otherwise the blame will infect all communication and make people unnecessarily defensive. Secondly, you have to learn how to communicate in a more authentic manner that quickly gets to the heart of the issue, rather than getting baited into petty and distracting squabbles. Both of these points are already covered in the article about Communicating through Difficult Conflicts.

However, communication only works when all parties are capable of being reasonable. Some people can only reach a reasonable state after much work and lengthy dramatics, but some people can never reach it, so it's important to know the difference in order to avoid wasting your efforts.

The second obstacle that often comes up is the difficulty of change. Motivation is very important for achieving lasting change, and motivation can be very difficult to sustain when change is perceived as too difficult. Even in the best case scenario of every family member recognizing the problem, it might still be very difficult for individual members to change their behavior because the patterns have become so habitual. Breaking bad habits is an uphill battle. In your family's case, there is strong resistance to acknowledging the problem in the first place, which means there is also strong resistance toward change. Nothing makes change more difficult than people actively fighting against it.

If people are willing to change but have difficulty with it, you have to do more to: make the learning process as easy as possible for them; give them reliable encouragement and support as needed; and actively set up better conditions for success by removing environmental obstacles whenever possible.

Part of the problem you've encountered is you have not yet pinpointed the areas where you're most likely to succeed in implementing change. While it's tempting to lay blame on your grandma and uncle, it's the wrong path for you to take. Everyone has a part to play in a negative family dynamic, including you, so it's important to acknowledge everyone's contributions rather than hyperfocusing on the most obvious targets. I have explained many times that blame is always unproductive, see past posts. Blame makes you come off as critical which in turn makes people defensive. You basically defeat yourself before you begin.

As disagreeable as your grandma and uncle both sound, what was said in their defense isn't untrue. The only reason they can get away with bad behavior is because your mom allows it. The only reason they can get away with not repaying relationship "debts" is because your mom offers support for free, out of her sense of moral duty. The fact that they can speak so candidly and shamelessly about the situation is because they don't believe there will be any negative consequences (from your mom).

While this might sound like blaming the victim instead of the perpetrator, it isn't meant to be. There is no doubt that your grandma and uncle are behaving unethically, but the power to change this situation lies mainly with your mom. Your grandma and uncle have made it clear that they will not voluntarily relinquish the benefits they receive from this unhealthy family dynamic. In other words, they not only have zero motivation to change, they will actively resist it. As such, pouring your energy in their direction isn't likely to bring positive returns until your mom changes her part of the script.

One aspect of being a good problem solver is knowing how to simply accept the things you can't change, no matter how unpleasant, in order to focus all your efforts on the things you can. In this case, face up to the sad fact that the people who benefit most from a situation have the least desire to change it.

The first step of change must come from mom, unless you're willing to use force and go against everyone's will. I can understand why you'd think "boundaries" is the way to go with her, but, unfortunately, it doesn't get deep enough into the problem. There are many reasons why people have poor boundaries and it seems you haven't quite gotten to the bottom of hers, which is why you're not able to present the information in a way that resonates with her. As a general rule, you must understand a situation fully from the other person's perspective in order to maximize persuasiveness. There are several aspects of boundaries to consider if you hope to fully grasp her perspective:

1) Self-awareness of feelings and emotions is very important because they alert you to unhealthy behavior, both from yourself and others. When someone disrespects you, how do you feel? You shouldn't feel happy about it. Anger would be a more appropriate response. When you disrespect yourself by allowing others to disrespect you, you should feel angry about your own helplessness or powerlessness.

People who aren't in touch with their feelings and emotions, or worse, repress them, aren't fully aware of how hurt and angry they feel. Hurt and anger alert you to boundary violations specifically, so they are important sources of motivation for restoring broken boundaries. Until a person can acknowledge just how hurt and/or angry they really are, they will have difficulty working up enough motivation to change toxic relationship situations.

I don't know the degree to which your mom is self-aware, but given that she has borne the situation for so long, it's likely that she has learned to repress her hurt and anger. If that's the case, an important early step in her recovery would be to improve her emotional awareness and understand the importance of honoring her own feelings. (See the articles on emotional intelligence.)

2) Low self-worth is a deeper factor behind poor boundaries and it also contributes to the emotional repression described above. If you see yourself as unimportant or less than others, then your feelings don't matter, do they?

In some cases, people with low self-worth tend to perceive boundaries as "selfish" because they don't fully understand that they are being treated unfairly and thus have a right to stand up for their own dignity and request fairer treatment. As such, it's probably better that you approach the topic of boundaries from the angle of "fairness" (virtuous) rather than "protection" (selfish). As long as she perceives a behavior as being morally "subversive", she won't engage in it, because it conflicts with her ideal self of wanting to be a moral person. She should be applauded for her moral fortitude. In other words, encourage and support her ideal self instead of asking her to smash that ideal.

Unhealthy Fe often manifests as devaluing oneself and being unfair to oneself, but this doesn't mean FJs do it on purpose. Oftentimes, they grew up in an environment that devalued them or exploited their kindness. Lessons of low self-worth can also be hammered deeper into the psyche by being a member of a historically, politically, and culturally oppressed group such as women. There have likely been many forces coming together to teach your mom that she matters less than others. Judging by your description, your grandma was and continues to be one of the major forces.

You seem to hesitate to call your family dynamic "toxic", but your grandma sounds verbally and emotionally abusive. She knows she wields an enormous power over your mom and doesn't hesitate to abuse that power to get what she wants. I think you need to acknowledge that your grandma is toxic and abusive, and that this makes her "scary", because you don't know how far she will go to hold on to the power she has over your mom. You didn't grow up under her influence the same way your mom did, so perhaps you are still a bit naive about how negative their dynamic can really get. Grandchildren tend to see grandparents through rose-colored glasses because they don't have full access to the darker aspects of the family history.

It's easy to say to people "just stand up for yourself", but it will be very difficult for them to do if they have repeatedly experienced social repercussions for it. It's likely that through constant criticism and attacking her self-esteem, your grandma has basically used punishment to condition your mom into compliance and make her believe that she deserves to be treated as inferior. Because of this, there is likely good reason for your mom to believe that standing up for herself is "risky". She has likely borne the repercussions her entire life and she's not wrong to believe that they might only get worse the more she tries to free herself. Don't forget that ISFJs have deep memories, especially when it comes to past hurt, and those memories might loom quite large any time your mom thinks about confronting your grandma. Add to that, she is obviously outnumbered as soon as your uncle enters the picture.

ISFJs are great students when it comes to learning and internalizing social expectations. On the upside, this ability grants them confidence in navigating social situations and allows them to fit smoothly into a social hierarchy, but, on the downside, they can also suffer terribly from internalizing the immoral values of their oppressors. Ideally, your mom needs to heal from the damage of your grandma's abuse of power and discover her own voice and her own power. But this is a very long-term goal, a lifelong project.

Until then: i) acknowledge that her fears and concerns are valid, and ii) offer her practical ways to mitigate the risk of social repercussions (to soothe inferior Ne). Otherwise, she is unlikely to confront the problem. In short, if you want people to stand up for themselves, you have to get them to believe that it's necessary and also okay and safe to do so.

3) Some people with boundary issues have healthy self-worth and good emotional awareness and the only thing they lack is knowhow. Usually, they never had any opportunity to learn good strategies for setting and enforcing boundaries when they were growing up. Perhaps they even grew up in good families and never encountered toxic people, so they have no idea how to deal with them. They usually have the easiest time learning about boundaries, which includes some people who ask me about boundary issues on this blog (see previous posts).

Unfortunately, it sounds like your mom is stuck on points 1) and 2) above. Until she addresses them, she simply isn't psychologically ready to learn the "how" of setting boundaries yet. You can try to help her with both points, and there is always hope as long as she is receptive to hearing you out.

She needs to understand why boundaries are important for everyone. I don't know what culture you're from, but one of the greatest ideas that has come out of democratic culture is that each person should be accorded their dignity. Every individual is entitled to a voice, basic respect, and fair treatment. And if you don't receive the respect and fairness due to you, you have a right to demand it. Allowing for every person to feel content makes for a more peaceful and harmonious group/society.

If you come from a culture that believes some people are inherently superior/inferior than others (the caste system of India is one example) and your mom is a full supporter of a culture that says she should just shut up and accept her lot, then I'm afraid there's not much you can do to dissuade her. You can change a person's beliefs through reason and logic but not their deeply held values. To change those, a person usually has to do a lot of self-work to finally realize how terribly misguided/harmful their values have been.

#isfj #auxiliary fe #boundaries #helping #family #self worth #criticism #abuse #ask

8 notes · View notes

asterclaw · 7 months

Text

You guys wanna hear abt an AU UTMV without any pictures or whatever...? Cool! Stay tuned then! BEFORE YOU GO In this MV Nightmare gets killed and reincarnated, Blue prefers Dust and Horror to the Stars, and Killer ran away from a mental hospital <3 Hope that was enough to encourage you to read this post. This MV is not completed yet and I would appreciate any suggestions :p

So, everything starts as it usually does - the lack of the balance in the MV. The negativity here overdrives the positivity, getting the Star Sanses, mainly Ink and Dream, to wonder how they could fix it. The solution they came up with is simple: a reset of Dreamtale. The issue is - Dreamtale cannot be reset. What else is there then? Might not seem obvious to you, but, technically speaking, you could just erase Dreamtale as a whole and then wait for it to recreate, getting Nightmare to his initial state.

So Ink and Dream, not involving Blue, as he certainly would deem that a little immoral, decide to lure the bad guys to a battle there, a battle that would include Error as well, giving the Stars access to the code. Why the code? Why, of course to pour solvent right onto it!

When such a battle actually happens, Dream and Nightmare get dissolved (painfully :) at least mentally painfully-). Aaaand the same goes for Ink as he was accidentally affected by the solvent. As the world gradually disappears, everyone tries to get away as quickly as possible. Error accidentally pulls out some not yet dissolved fragments of the Dreamtale code to the Anti-Void. It shapes them into Saturn and Venice (I might change the names later-) - the new Guardians of Emotions - basically the only thing that kept this MV from shattering completely, as it suddenly lost its Protector/Creator and the previous Guardians in the same day.

The bad guys, that is, two of them, are assigned to a mental clinic, with Color as one of its psychologists :) The ones assigned there are Dust and Killer. The latter one runs away, whilst the former actually gets his medical treatment and even kind of becomes "healthier". Together, Dust and Horror then take care of Blue, whose scarred for life and try to help those in need. (That doesn't line up with what Dust's character is all about? Oh well, haha, in my i n t e r p r e t a t i o n, Dust is much, much more of a confused than a bloodlusty fella - he murders others out of "mercy", wanting them to not suffer the resets. His schizophrenia encourages him in this. And, yes, I made changes to all the chars' characters (except Cross cuz I got literally no idea what do I do with him-).)

Meanwhile, Dreamtale is actually "reset". Nightmare wakes up the day, khm, my interpretation, when he decided to eat the apple out of his suicidal wishes, so, when he was cca 14. Dream, trying to keep brother near, kind of "locks him up" in the house or wherever they live- (I just understood that I never wondered that-) Nightmare, certainly unhappy with such a decision aaaand with a lot of responsibility and guilt to deal... Decides to just ran away from all his problems. And so he does. There, in some not too popular nor too unpopular, quite negative AU (haven't decided what AU quite honestly-), he meets Killer and...

Aaaaaand that's it! I haven't covered all the material (by that I mean the characters and their attitudes to each other) but that is already waaaay too frigging much text- I am quite unsure what exactly could happen after them meeting (except maybe some problems with the new Guardians), so, if anyone's interested, I'm all for suggestions! The same goes for Cross, who's just- I have no idea what to do with him quite honestly.

Anyways, thanks for your attention and I apologize for all the grammar mistakes (eng is not my first lang)

See ya later, baiiii~

Ах да, и здесь Дрима с Инком зовут не звездной, а звезданутой двоицей))

#utmv #undertale au #utmv au #dreamtale brothers #nightmare sans #dream sans #dust sans #killer sans #horror sans #ink sans #blueberry sans #swap sans #asterclaw ranting #that was prolly a pain to read-

12 notes · View notes

eyeballtank · 3 months

Text

Do most games look similar? Kinda

This image is clearly made to spark shit on /v/ but it does make me think a lot about videogame aesthetics and graphics.

Maybe one reason the games on the right look alike (Besides the cherrypicked screenshots because each has moments where they don't look alike) is because they chase "realism": Videogames may never be "truly realistic" and since the 8th gen, it feels like we hit a wall.

So if anything, these games are going for a rather "shared idea" of realism: That's how you think these games might as well have the same engine, same universe and same people behind.

Of course, you can still point out how stuff like lightning, fire, smoke etc isn't easy to do and even a cel-shaded game with 2D visuals may have some weird oddities in terms of visuals.

And then there's also the usual effects: Motion blur, chromatic aberration, bloom, lens flares, SSAO etc. Stuff tied to post-processing or something.

Is it inherit to games becoming 3D in general? Not sure.

But I believe it can't be because of "realism in general" because with 6th gen games, certain titles were always aiming for "realism" and still have a different "feel/vibe/whatever you call it" compared to 7th gen and beyond.

Maybe how Death Stranding or GTAV look and feel is something Kojima or Rockstar always wanted to achieve even during the PS1.

But it won't change the fact that how MGS2/3 or how GTA VC/SA "feel" may resonate more with people.

Remakes are another good example when you compare Resident Evil 4 to its remake.

Even Crysis, a game once praised for being graphically impressive, gets a remaster and I swear the differences barely mean shit.

I can see someone saying "is this why Zoomers think Half-Life 2 or GMod are creepy?" because of liminal space memes but it shows that even a "realistic enough" game can offer different moods not present in games with generic realism.

And people also associate boring realism with "boring colors" so you have 7th gen shooters being brown/gray and then you get a "counter trend" of Fortnite clones and "looter shooters" with overuse of purple vomit.

Another thing worth bringing up: Yellow paint, which is a result of "realism" where everything blends in visually, when good art direction of making stuff apart can work even in "realism".

Maybe why people disliked the "it knows it's a videogame" direction of Doom Eternal is because it was still a graphically advanced looking game but the yellow paint thing also gets worse because it's applied to remakes, as in, RE4 for example which never needed yellow paint before... but now it does?

It's a side effect of an issue with "realism" where stuff becomes harder to read, so developers come up with these goofy solutions that wouldn't be needed if they had a better art direction.

It also happens that "realistic" games are more likely to age compared to cel-shaded/stylized games like LOZ Wind Waker or Okami (And sometimes, some cel-shaded games get remasters that add bloom or weird color effects).

But one thing is realism, another is fiction or rather, influences/inspirations and certain trends in sci-fi and fantasy.

There's that one image of Everquest 3 I think, that shows a contrast between old and fantasy aesthetics.

One has an image that's essentially a fantasy painting with neat designs and a level of atmosphere/realism, the other shows that specific Warcraft adjacent art style you see more often.

That style people associate with Blizzard, League, Dota, Smite, DarkSiders and more.

Besides the style in itself being overused, I think people hate it because they associate it with being corporate and safe, which adds some irony to its history coming from Blizzard being into Warhammer: A series rather known for being "grim and epic" (But even WH itself would have stuff that's tame and boring).

The Demon Souls remake is a good example because you go from From Software being inspired by dark fantasy and Berserk to something with generic lightning/colors and an official reference for the Flame Lurker literally admitting using Diablo 3 as inspiration.

Even sci-fi in terms of aesthetics has its trends: Part of why Halo fans dislike the 343 art style.

(Mostly because of when tech is meant to be grounded and when it feels like "fantasy" to some degree).

(Oh and this also reminds me of that "magic tech" fantasy in stuff like Immortals Fenyx Rising which I wonder if it's inspired by the Disney Atlantis movie).

So if the fantasy side of things has WoW, Dota, LoL, etc then the sci-fi gets what: 343 Halo? Destiny? Anthem? Warframe? Gears of War?

Even then, these aesthetics could use some "studying" so one can why X feel this way and why Y doesn't etc.

The modern Doom games are at times criticized for having these trends (Specially because Doom is technically both sci-fi and fantasy).

One can at least say that even classic Doom wasn't the only thing in the 90's inspired by Aliens/HR Giger (See Metroid or Contra) and old DnD.

But I guess it also depends of why people like certain aesthetics and the mindsets behind them AND of course: Personal preferences.

A lot of iconic gaming franchises were born out of devs copying media from outside the medium, from Link being inspired by Peter Pan to MGS being a mix of movies, hence Kojima says "My body is 70% made of movies".

Gravity Rush is as unique as it is because Toyama and his team were influenced by Moebius, while the pointless movie will definitely be inspired by the MCU.

We can also bring up Signalis being inspired by Blame! but the aesthetic itself isn't trying to be an old Nihei manga.

Another id example: Hunter from Quake 3 being inspired by Simon Bisley's Full Cirkle.

I was wondering if it counts when certain artists or studios are involved in some games, like Ni No Kuni looking very Ghibli because Ghibli was sort of involved in the first game's cutscenes.

Maybe this is why some don't care that PalWorld may indeed copy Pokemon: Lot of games might as well copy each other already.

Whether it's in AAA or indie games (Even in indie, people will be aware of some trends but not others, like making fun of "quirky Earthbound clone about depression" label that probably applies to only one game but nobody mentions the amount of "boomer shooters" that exist... just saying).

And this isn't just videogames: Think of mediums like films where you see something with good setpieces and then you see something more recent with generic "ahh so pretty" special effects.

Like how people prefer older horror movies that make good use of practical effects or that one time a LOTR movie gave people headaches because of its visuals.

I just saw some images of a Wizard of Oz remake being made and how boring it looks compared to the 1930's one.

Like in general, ask yourself: At what point does this type of realism becomes part of someone's vision and not either a decision by the publisher/executive/etc or just guessing by what mass audiences supposedly like?

Pretty sure Hitchcock had a quote about realism and art: How art being too good at copying realism can make it boring because it's just reproducing nature.

Maybe a lot of amazing paintings from certain eras like the Renaissance are amazing, not because of how realistic they art, but because they're a rather "idealized" form of realism.

Edit: Might as well mention "Uncanny Valley" because of both realisitc games reaching it at times but also how a certain "idealized realism" is lik the opposite of Uncanny Valley.

And I guess how some people deslike stuff that is otherwise impressive to casual viewers like artists such as Sakimichan.

Edit 2: I could've also mentioned how some games do gore, scars, disfiguration etc and how some make it seem "plastic" looking. Look at Ghouls in like Fallout 3 and compared them to FO4, where they looked creepy in the former and look like someone in a rubber suit in the latter.

In general, I like to think there are ways to make a game more impressive nowadays.

Basically, make your game copy great illustrations instead of "realism" or live action movies.

Pay attention to how colors and brushes are used in some artworks.

Copy some designs if you have to, since you'd be less likely to end up with some designs you'd see in an ArtStation account (Even if you just mindlessly follow blogs that post old sci-fi art).

AI art may not work because you need to understand what makes some art good (And if anything, AI art is already used to mimick the more generic art styles out there).

You may not need that many polygons, maybe go for a 6th gen style at best.

Do a good job with colors, textures etc.

And while your game does a good enough job at copying Moebius, Druillet, Barlowe, Nihei etc, I guess you could also try neat tech shit like reflections or "portals", like the 2006 Prey game.

In general: Make your game look like a painting, not a movie.

And about my stuff?

My game looks ugly for a lot of reasons like its weird resolution, me focusing more on other stuff, the fact that it's my first game, etc.

But I do hope someday to not only get better art but also better at taking influences more seriously.

Lot of stuff in Nortubel already copies some things and I hope to be better at copying some things even if I can't do it alone.

Chances are that even in Nortubel itself, I'll end up with some trendy elements but I still wanna give an impression of some creativity and preferences.

In general, this blog post could've been an article or video done better by someone (So feel free to use this as a reference), because if I'm terrible at "critique" or "essays", I hope to be much better at making games and actual stuff.

This post should also be useful for anyone who wants to be a dev.

#random thoughts #video games #gaming #blog #rant #long post

2 notes · View notes

give-me-more-39 · 1 year

Text

Hey all! Just wanted to make an important statement regarding this account. I want to make it clear that as of right now:

I am not currently willing to post any more pictures of myself or my belly, or participate in any stuffing, overfeeding, bloating, or gaining of any kind.

Understand that I am still very much in love with the feedism community and I will still chose to like, comment, repost feedism stuff and whatnot, but at the moment I have multiple personal reasons for why I chose not to physically participate in it myself.

I have never been at the weight I have wanted to be at 100%, and there has been a large history of self-image issues in not only my past, but in my entire family as well. I live with people who have self-image issues of their own relating to food (e.g. my sister having an eating disorder that makes her feel like she is never skinny enough, or my mom crying every couple of days because getting off the couch is becoming hard to do). These same people, while I support their journeys through whatever they go through, somehow judge me for getting a little more pudgy than normal and proceed to play the “Well, we all need to lose some weight, don’t we?” card.

I am unsure if a lot of my insecurity comes from the media + the fatphobia presented to people consistently online (not in the feedism quadrant, obviously) and how much that has played into the way I look at myself, if it is the family I am from, or if it is simply because I am, deep down, disgusted with myself because my jeans barely fit me when I only bought them a couple months ago. It doesn’t help that I literally only have $20 in my bank account and the thought of impulsively buying food for myself that I don’t need being one of the big reasons for that number makes me look at myself with extreme hatred.

I understand that a lot of this can be “excusable” for a college student like myself, with the freshman 15 and all, but I can’t care anymore about that line. I’m starting to get tired of it. I wish I could fit in my size 8’s again. I wish my muffin top wouldn’t get in the way so much. I wish I didn’t need my inhaler after a flight or two of stairs. I wish I wasn’t the fat friend. I wish going to the gym wasn’t so hard for me.

In addition to all of this, although I have been ensured from a couple feeders/feedees on here that it is safe, I always am worried that someone will find me. That someone I know would discover that this is who I am, or a future employer would see this and immediately reject my application. I’ve seen so many people blackmailed and had their lives ruined because of their indulgence, and for me to end up the same way is a terrifying thought.

I am heavily attracted to the thing that scares me about myself, and it’s a frustrating and almost bittersweet feeling. I hate the way I look and feel, but I am obsessed with the idea of stuffing and eating whatever I want… it’s a twisted battle that has summoned in my head, and it’s really confusing for me. I wish I wasn’t who I am, but I know none of this can change, so distancing myself from participating in this seemingly fun care-free and confident world looks like my best solution.

I know not all my problems will be fixed by losing weight and distancing myself from this community slightly, but it definitely will help. Thank you all! - J

8 notes · View notes

opinated-user · 2 years

Note

A weird side-effect of murder being her go-to solution to all problems is that it made her videos boring to me even when I was a fan. Whatever the problem is, whatever the villain did, whatever the scale of the issue at hand is, she always recommends killing people. That's dull as tar. As I've grown out of LO's 12-16 year old core demographic and gotten into other media, I've figure out why: Lily never has murder have any negative repercussions. In a good story, the murder can have far-reaching fallout (see also: most Star Wars tie-in and Expanded Universe materials as well as all of Star Trek Deep Space Nine), would be too likely to be caught and if we do it we're going to have to put in a lot of work not to get caught (most good crime dramas), is necessary but God it's going to haunt me (again, Star Trek Deep Space Nine) or my favorite variation, it was an accident and arguably necessary but my guilt will haunt me for the next forty years (a fanfic I've been reading).

LO isn't smart enough or creative enough to write any of that, and I have serious doubts she can feel guilt, regret or empathy enough to understand why anyone would have any issue murdering, so she can't write a scene where people have thoughts about what they did. She can't write introspection or complex thoughts, can't write most forms of interpersonal relationships beyond 'person my OC fucks', 'person who gives my OC things', and 'person my OC kills'. She doesn't know how to write people interacting, write them displaying emotions or write them thinking in a way that feels real. I thought maybe this was just my being bitter that yet another YouTuber turned out to be a TERF and a sexual predator, but then I read The Sith Resurgence with the intention of seeing if actually she was a good writer and her claim of being a ghostwriter for hire was legit. I thought I'd just misremembered her writing being bad.

If anything, I misremembered it as not being as shitty as it actually is. Take this example from TSR:

When she returned, the two continued to talk as they ate. Topics ranged from the First Order to ways to upgrade the Fury to be a more reliable, modern ship. As they spoke, Aliana found herself quite liking Rey. It was rare she got to converse with someone on such a personal level, where it almost seemed like they were friends. Usually it was potential employers and security she mostly spoke to. Maz Kanata maybe, but that old pirate seemed more like an elder than anything else.

This is dull as shit. It doesn't give us anything in the way of insight into who these people are or how they interact or what kind of dynamic they have. You could replace their names with any other Star Wars characters because there's so little individual personality there. A good writer would have it go like this:

When she returned, the two continued to talk as they ate, hesitantly at first, then with growing ease. Rey had a wealth of knowledge on ships and upgrades that Aliana was surprised to find in someone so young, and her eyes lit up as she spoke about it. That same light dimmed considerably when the First Order came up. Her smile faded to become a flat, unexpressive flat line of pursed lips instead, shoulders tensing, and Aliana was struck by a desire to change the subject. She wanted Rey to feel at ease around her. She felt like they'd been moving towards talking like friends, something she got about as little of as Jakku got rain. She would never admit it, not even to herself, but she needed that. Maybe Rey needed it, too. Maybe that was why the conversation bounced back and continued despite the gaff, Aliana hastily changing the topic to First Order ships and then onto tech in general again. Seeing Rey relax and smile again filled Aliana with a sense of satisfaction she couldn't quite explain. She wanted to see Rey smile.

And then there's this unemotional garbage later:

Han sighed and shrugged. “Yeah. We got a Sith on our side now. I know, I never thought I’d live to see the day. But do you know what that means? It means I know that you aren’t lost yet. You can still turn away from this Ben. You can come home. This isn't a death sentence for you.”

HE'S TALKING TO HIS SON WHO JOINED A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. Use an adjective, a modifier, a descriptor of body language, give us something! This is a pivotal moment and he's written with all the seriousness of someone discussing his Fantasy Football team. A better writer would do something like this:

Han sighed and shrugged. He was aiming for his usual casual, devil-may-care attitude, but something about it was off. The hair he insisted was silver looked white in the stark lighting, every wrinkle standing out and the deep shadows doing nothing to hide the bags under his eyes. He straightened up to look at his son but couldn't quite manage it fully. For all that he was a legend in stories, here and now he was just a man, just a father, and when he placed a hand on Kylo's shoulder Aliana half-expected him to pull the other man into a hug. Han's eyes stayed off the dark Sith garb and glinting metal of the lightsaber. Instead he looked only at Kylo's face, at those dark eyes that mirrored Leia's.

"Yeah. We've got a Sith on our side now - never thought I'd see the day, but I used to think the Force itself was just an old fairytale. Impossible things keep happening. You know," he chuckled, an old, tired sound, "your mother and I getting together, that was the most impossible thing. She's a better woman than I deserve. And you," he squeezed Kylo's shoulder, smiling tiredly, "you're a better kid than I deserve. But it's not over. You can come home. I can do better. We can be like we used to be, before the Force and Snoke and training drove this wedge inbetween us." He stepped closer, shoulders slumping as he admitted in a voice just above a whisper, "We've missed you so much, Ben, your mother and I. Please come home."

This is why Lily shouldn't make murder her solution to everything. Do I care if the Han of the first excerpt dies? Does he? He's not acting like it, he's not acting like Han, and he's not acting like a dad who's trying to talk his son out of a terrorist organization. He sounds bored in the original, emotionally uninvested, and as a result there's no intensity to a scene where a man is trying to rescue his son from what is functionally a fascist cult-esque terrorist group.

And when Han dies, it takes up three sentences' worth of space. Three. Sentences.

I've written longer joke fanfic snippets in texts to friends. I've seen longer rewrites of that moment on Reddit. It should be a haunting moment for Aliana, witnessing someone murder their parent who loves them dearly, should be a moment where Han gently reaches out and touches Ben's face as in canon and conveys without words that he's not angry, that he'll never hate him, and we should see the confusion in Ben's face afterwards because he can't process his own actions or the unconditional acceptance they were met with.

Lily is not a good enough writer to write fanfic that is not slice of life. She doesn't understand how people work enough to think 'how would a man feel about trying to rescue his son from a terrorist organization? how would the man in the organization feel about the attempted rescue? how would someone feel watching this tragic death in real time?' and that's really damning because I am literally a full decade younger than Lily but I know enough to ask these things. I'm 20 and I understand that 'then A did this. then B died, one sentence of emotions I assure you he was feeling, one sentence of another person's reaction, the end' is shit writing. She writes like a child. I'm in my university's Creative Writing Club and no one there writes on this basic of a level. These are things so basic everyone in my Intro to Fiction Writing class already knew before being told.

A good writer can make the lack of empathy in a murderer engaging (The Secret History by Donna Tartt does this very well with Henry Winters, who is so self-absorbed and devoid of empathy that he navigates the aftermath of the murder uncomfortably well, making his friends deeply uneasy) but Lily doesn't do that. Kylo? "She couldn’t feel unease or conflict from Kylo Ren. But hatred. Deception. Bloodlust." to quote from this grammar-free trainwreck. Thank you for telling the reader that rather than showing us, I guess? Why bother writing those emotions when you could list them - but setting aside that laziness, I'm not made uncomfortable by this murder in the slightest. It's cruel, sure, but we don't have any physical descriptors giving us a mental image of Kylo, so it feels more like stage directions or what'd be in a script rather than a fic. The Secret History opens on Henry Winters casually looking at the body of his best friend who he's murdered and, satisfied that it looks like an accident, turning, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away, humming some old song he'd had stuck in his head. That conveys a lack of empathy, a callousness that's unsettling, and implies a hatred or dislike, drawing the reader in, because we want to know what the hell the deceased did that his death doesn't strike Richard, our POV character, as a thing he can't live with. You instantly want to know more about this very fucked up friend group and how shit escalated to this point.

I don't want to know more about Lily Orchard's rendition of Kylo Ren, because I already know there isn't anything more. There isn't anything more to her Han, her Kylo, her Aliana - they are all exactly one thing and have no hidden depths to them. They're so straightforward that they lack the capacity to surprise or intrigue the audience in any way. Because she refuses to change a single beat from canon and is instead glued to it, there's also no capacity for events to surprise you. This isn't like the game Elsinore where Shakespeare's Hamlet is the basis but the game gives you options to explore what-ifs to the effect of, 'what if these two characters who never spoke in canon interacted?' or 'what if this character who wasn't here was?' or even just 'what if a character refused to get into a fight they got into in canon?' because all of that is too complicated for Lily to puzzle out. "And then me, I mean Aliana, was there in the movie and she got mad when Han died and fought the bad guy" is as complicated as she can get, which is just not interesting. My 6 and 8 year old nieces have played that out with sticks in the woods pretending to be Kylo and their own OC. She is doing less than the bare minimum, she's doing the same thing actual children are... at the age of 30.

Could she be a ghost writer? For kids' books, maybe. Flat characters who have a handful of tropes that they embody with no further depth to them can fly there, if you're writing for the 8 and under crowd. But honestly, I think she should stick to that and never aim any higher. She just doesn't have the capacity to write people, feelings, thoughts, interactions, relationships, original ideas, stakes, or conflicts that most people do.

And honestly even putting her on the level of kids' writers feeling like a disservice to kids' writers. R.L. Stine at least had more diversity in his works, and Animorphs runs circles around LO's work any day of the week. (Bruce Coville's work also has more canonically queer characters and had NB rep in the 90's (while LO can't manage it in 2022) despite being widely-circulated kids' lit.)

I'm so tempted to make posts roasting Lily's shitty writing. But TL;DR this isn't just bad, this is some of the dullest murder in history and I applaud her for making murder boring.

i never believed on the ghost writing gig and i can't imagine LO actually writing anything for children without adding some of her signature creepy elements into it. but regardless i agree with you. one of the worst aspects of LO's literature is how boring it is. things happens, characters are doing things, conflict is happening and yet somehow it all feels so flat and uninteresting, as if nothing is actually happening.

#lily orchard

28 notes · View notes

pompadourpink · 2 years

Note

bonjour mom this might be a stupid question but i'm super interested in environmental protection and i'm trying to go vegan and buy less and all that jazz but everything is super expensive if it's local or it's okay but they have to fly it here etc and i understand your idea of only getting quality stuff but like i don't know yet what i like so i don't want to splurge (not that i could anyway) and i want to avoid amazon but it's super practical and at least it's for sure not a scam and i WILL get my package etc, and sometimes i do like a bit of dairy or i'll have birthday cake but i feel super guilty about it and i'm getting super anxious, do you have any advice??

Hello dear (and oh boy, this is going to be another wall of text),

I've been there. I went vegetarian with the hopes of becoming vegan back in 2012, went super minimalist, started to buy way less, switched to bulk and organic, got a menstrual cup, felt like I had to donate money I didn't have because others needed it more than me and felt awful every time I binned something thinking I actually didn't need that thing and that was a selfish decision, and it was so hard to see other people around me not caring about these things. It was eating me alive and making me bitter and sadder than a bag of rocks. It's a real thing called eco-anxiety and it's well-documented at this point so you can look it up.

In my case, researching capitalism and going to therapy were the key. Because little old me being vegan not only wasn't sustainable because I had personal issues with food and ADHD and it made it worse, but at the end of the day it's not going to be enough to annihilate centuries of specism and make the industry change its mind; just like little old me feeling guilty about buying ice cream because I was going to have to throw away the pot is the most insignificant thing in the world when you look at what Nestlé or cruise boats are doing to the planet.

Whatever you do, you will have to sacrifice something and it will never be enough - you've already noticed it. Change comes gradually, when people come together and stand against what's wrong, which has been harder to do these days where we routinely lose family members and friends to Facebook radicalisation. My advice is to do what I've been doing, after years of trial and error: putting myself first, staying realistic about my goals, practising empathy, remembering to be a role model rather than a preacher, and giving myself time before I make a decision.

I like you prefer to boycott Amazon but between shipping fees, delivery time, dodgy neighbours, prices, fear of scammers (...), I used it occasionally to get stuff whenever it felt like the best solution. But then, at the beginning of the pandemic, I bought face masks online from a French pharmacy, which cost quite a lot but I was trying to do the good thing. Three weeks later I received a white piece of plastic that looked like every package from Wish videos on Youtube from somewhere in China that contained the masks with a little note in broken English stating that those were only for fashion and couldn't be worn for medical reasons.

I did some research and realised that they bought the items for pennies on Aliexpress and got the suppliers to directly send me my order - it's a very scammy and common concept called drop shipping. If you're looking for anything brandless on Amazon (from sunglasses to hairbrushes to decoration and gym equipment), check out Aliexpress and your cart will go from 132,99 to 17 bucks in under five minutes. So after years of judging people who use Aliexpress or Wish, I started doing the same, because what I receive is the exact same thing, but there's no mediocre business tycoon wannabee making a profit on my behalf in between.

And ever since, I've rethought my beliefs. I no longer feel bad about wanting children even though every human being creates a lot of waste in a world where Kylie Jenner takes a private jet to avoid a 40-minute drive. I no longer feel bad about occasionally flying to go on vacation because I have only one shot at living and once in a while I deserve a break. I no longer feel bad about doing my nails even though I will have to buy and dispose of cotton buds because I'm tired of neglecting my happiness to avoid worsening problems I haven't even caused.

I still do what I can. I'm still conscious of what I do, don't waste water, buy all my clothes secondhand, donate money whenever I can and all that, but I'm at peace. I try and that's what matters in a world where succeeding is not an option.

Love,

Mum

youtube

#ask #malks

20 notes · View notes

arbustorum · 1 year

Note

What helps you break from sameface syndrome in art?

i know ive heard the phrase but i honestly dont think ive ever actually took at that seriously or cared about it all. The only time i remember thinking about it was getting the compliment that was like "its like you have the opposite of same face syndrome" and i still didnt really get it. So sorry if this is a long response that doesnt help at all but ur getting my essay because this stuff bothers me.

first time i saw it used in a way i think makes sense was back when i saw the frozen critique thing going around tumblr. They literally have the same face as each other, the main characters, and as their mother, but male characters NEVER have this issue, in the SAME media(show, movie, w/e). My solution to that is just simply...stop designing your women the same. If you need to, design a male char and then sex bend it trying to change as little as possible and see if that helps you notice how ur accidentally limiting yourself for your women. Most of the time the problem isnt "same face", its that we dont give women the same depth of expression and variety of design. whole other essay but yeah...

In that similar vein. Same face feels like a...way to avoid calling it sexism to me in the art. It then is used by all artists to just find a way to shit on art styles without actually providing useful critique. "Same face" is actually quite beloved and marketable.

Simplistic designs could be called "same face" which belittles the fact that designing minimalistic and aesthetically pleasing designs is quite difficult. These designs are distinct, recognizable, and very beloved. They are cute and nice to look at! These are actually so well designed i hesitate to call them same face but i wanna try and show the "two dot eyes and a mouth and dot nose" could be called same face. But with limited elements, each face is actually clearly distinct. Even the twin guys lala and kiki, (altho if u make them both smile and they wouldnt be but u get it)

Another minimalistic design that relies heavily on minute differences in the face(as well as other elements of the design) to distinguish them.

i like these examples because perhaps the average tumblrina might agree that everyone thinks sanrio looks good, and might say they dislike homestucks style, but they use similar design rules.

here is another example of a style some might just consider ugly or lacking skill(im a personal fan and dont agree but hopefully u get what i mean). A distinct part of his style is making every character have distinct eyes. probably for the same reason i find mobpsycho 100 and homestuck styles charming and pleasing, they cannot be accused of sameface(atleast not to me ill come for you LOL). This may be a kind of fundamental reason i dont struggle with it, im a particular fan of this method of design. It just is a part i focus on. it was never a concious choice i made as an artist.

Some artists find different elements pleasing or enjoyable to draw, and same face is actually quite beloved(and marketable) its not the end all be all design rule is my point... examples of beloved styles where its quite easy to switch the faces around and it may become difficult to tell it has occurred.

heres another style people consider ugly but doesn't have same face(again, im a fan, so it really might just be a thing i like in art, also yes the women are more similar but this rule does still apply to his women...just with much less variation :\ see again my original "same face obscures sexist design choices" point)

so yeah TL;DR i dont believe in same face as a fundamental design flaw, you should draw whatever you like and improve things you are personally dissatisfied with.

TL;DR 2 (ACTUALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTION) "i want more variation in faces when i design" treat eyes, noses, lips, forehead height, face shape, chin, eyebrows, eyes, hair coverage, moles, freckles, dimples, cheek bones...(and whatever else you can think of) as all different elements and include more variation of them. experiment.

im not a professional i am self taught and just some lady these are just my observations and opinions.

#maretext #same face syndrome #long post #mares art advice

9 notes · View notes

kierancampire · 1 month

Text

Also, just venting about my phone real quick

So I need autocorrect on as I have always severely struggled with writing, so it saves me so much hassle and is a huge help. Except on this fucking phone. Firstly, I will spell a word correctly, it will then change it to an incorrect version of that word, and then it auto reads the sentence and see that word makes no sense in that sentence, and will tell me to change it back to the word I originally had it as?????? Like the worst for this is "its", literally EVERY single fucking time I write the word it will change it to "it's" without fail, literally every time, but then every time it's wrong as I have gotten good at learning the difference!

It CONSTANTLY changes the end letter in certain situations, so if a word has two spellings, one ending in "s" and the other ending in "d", it will change that word to whatever is the opposite of which one I used. So changes becomes changed, hoped becomes hopes, shit like that.

But then recently, I have no fucking idea why it's done this, but recently it's started doing something that is driving me fucking crazy. It is just changing entire fucking words. I'm not fucking joking. Recently I tried to write the word "overly" and for some fucking reason it changed it to "overwhelmingly"? But it's done that with SO many fucking things! Like, I will write out a word like that, and it will just change it into a completely different word for no reason?

Also another fucking thing that's starting to piss me off. You better fucking hope to god that one way you spelled that word? Well you better hope that's how you want to spell it every fucking time going forwards cause it's gonna change it to that. Like one time I wrote "obviously" and then it changed it into "OBVIOUSLY" cause I recently wrote it in caps like that. Or if I write out "sooooo" it will change it to "SOOOOO". Every. Fucking. Time. And wanna know a frustrating thing? Every time it changes these words, I have to obviously go back, delete them, then rewrite it. Issue is. If I have to delete the whole (it just changed "whole" to "world" for no reason) word, or I didn't continue writing after and try to press space to continue writing. Guess what. The phone doesn't go "Oh, you just changed the thing I changed that you just wrote, I won't do it again". NO. IT FUCKING DOESN'T. FOR SOME FUCKING REASON THE FUCKING PHONE'S LIKE "Oh you silly goose! You deleted my correction and spelled it incorrectly again! Let me change it back to the way I had it again!" AND IT WILL DO THAT IN A FUCKING LOOP. SO TRYING TO CHANGE ITS MISTAKES ARE HELL.

I feel like I am fucking fighting this fucking phone every single fucking time I use it. It is such a fucking miserable experience. And sure the easy solution is to just turn off auto correct so it stops doing this. But I have such bad issues with spellings and typos that I need it on. I just wish there was a feature to turn off it changing fucking words. And this is just technically one fucking issue with this phone. I have so much more to complain about. Never get a fucking Google Pixel. I cannot wait to get a new phone and smash this thing with a fucking hammer and burn it.

#personal #google pixel #google pixel 7 #google #pixel #phone #smart phone #smart phones

1 note · View note

wolint · 5 months

Text

FRESH MANNA

UNBELIEVABLE TURNAROUND

Psalm 126:1-6

There are no permanent conditions or problems in life and the world, but only in Christ Jesus, are there permanent solutions and changes. God’s ability to restore life beyond our understanding is what we can call an unbelievable turnaround.

We all cry, desiring a turnaround in situations we face, wondering if God can change our story. Can this situation still lead to a testimony? Don’t worry! God cannot lie, never be late, and there is nothing that He cannot do. Regardless of what you are facing or going through right now, the God of heaven will give you a turnaround.

Don’t stop crying to Him, let your tears become seeds that will grow into harvests of joy because God can bring good out of tragedy according to verse five.

It does not matter how long you wait on the Lord; the answer to your need will certainly come by morning- God’s morning that is.

You can go from ground zero to the top of the mountain in one go. God can turn your situation around but only through faith, hope, and waiting on Him. Like the woman in 2 Kings 4:1-7, we should embrace the revival God brings to us through our faith.

Hannah leapt from many years of barrenness to a moment of fruitfulness, and she was quick to promise or dedicate something to the Lord for answered prayers, her precious son.

What’s that condition, problem, and difficulty that you think is so great that God cannot change or turn around?

You may think you have a situation or issues that are special or different from everybody else but do not worry, God has a unique solution for you especially. He meets everyone at the very point of their needs, He will meet you too. God does not bless you to stress you, that’s the devil’s job as seen in Proverbs 10:22.

Sometimes we are disappointed and disillusioned when we don’t get answers to our prayers, don’t give up, God heard you and answers according to His timing and your faith but when He does answer, it will be better than you imagined.

Unbelievable turnaround is God changing our levels for good in ways that beat our wildest imagination and expectations.

Mary and Martha felt that way but were assured, as we must be too that Jesus feels our pains and knows when it’s best to turn the tide in our favour, see John 11:1-44 and Ephesians 3:20. When Jesus finally showed up, rather than healing a sick man, He raised a dead man to life, better than the sisters imagine and expected.

The Power of God can turn situations around.

Death is the exit from the earth, there is no hope in death, no expectations, and certainly no turnaround. The resurrection of Lazarus is the biggest unbelievable turnaround recorded in the scriptures, to show and guarantee us that nothing is impossible with God according to Jeremiah 32:17 and that whatever our situations, God has an unbelievable turnaround around the corner for us.

God is about to turn any and every situation around for His glory.

He can turn a hopeless life into a fulfilling life.

A sick person into a healthy and whole person.

A weak person into a strong and able one.

A lost life into a victorious life.

An old, tired life into a new and vital life.

A mess into a message.

A test into a testimony.

Trial into a triumph.

Victim into a victor.

God can do anything and everything but fail. He cannot fail.

God does not give things, He gives instructions, directions, visions, and dreams and our obedience to these is what brings the unbelievable turnaround we requested.

The instruction we obey is the future we create!

PRAYER: Oh God of heaven give me an unbelievable and Supernatural turnaround in every area of my life in Jesus' name.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT. PRAYER MIN.

0 notes

antclark011 · 1 year

Text

How to Talk to a Live Person at Air France

Are you thinking of traveling by or already have booked Air France? If you say ‘YES’; in both circumstances, this post will bring you great relief. It will provide you adequate information about the necessary steps that you may look for later. There are various unpredictable situations when you search for How to Talk to a Live Person at Air France. It’s quite an exciting and relevant topic because the reason behind a human executive can bring you more adequate solutions and appropriate answers.

With a robotic (RPA) or automated AI system, you can never expect an answer that may satisfactorily justify your expectations and requirements. This post will erase all your doubts impressively.

When and Why Do I Need to Talk to a Live Person at Air France?

Speaking to a live executive becomes mandatory for different reasons. You must contact the Air France Customer Services Department to make things easier, faster, and more reliable. In case you are not tech-savvy, it also helps you eliminate technical glitches.

The most appropriate and simple answer to the first part of the question i.e. ‘WHEN’ is whenever you seek assistance related to air travelling by Air France. They provide 24/7 customer assistance through different modes viz. by calling the Customer Assistance Department; by chat process; and; through E-mail or social media.

Now, let us come to the other next part of the question i.e. ‘WHY’. So, you may seek assistance from an executive in any of the following circumstances –

For booking a flight or a group

For canceling a flight

To change the date of travelling

To clarify luggage oriented terms

To lodge a complaint for a lost/damaged/delayed article

For delayed flight queries

To ask for a refund

To know about or join Frequent Flyer Program

Therefore, it becomes crystal clear that you can speak to a Live Human at Air France for a bunch of reasons. They will treat you with courtesy and politeness.

How to Get in Touch with a Live Person on Air France?

Contacting an executive at Air France is very easy and you can talk to them at any spur of the moment. There are three options to contact Air France via calling, writing on social media pages, chatting, or E-mailing. Let us know the process of all options in easy steps.

Speaking over the Phone:

Dial the official number of Air France i.e. (+1-800-237-2747) or (+1-845-459-2806)

Keep listening to the automated IVR voice and follow the instructions accurately

Within a couple of minutes a live human executive will answer your call with Greetings

Raise your concern politely or ask whatever you look for

At this point, it is suggested to call the customer assistance centre between 12:00 PM to 4:00 AM. Due to less call volume at night your call will be answered quickly.

Following Social Media Page:

You should follow the different social media official page of Air France

They are available on Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube

You can write your messages on any of the social media platforms

An official handler will raise your concern and will answer you back

Contacting through Chat Process:

Go to Air France official website

Go to the Live Chat section

Click on the blank section and write down your concern

Keep answering to the automated messages appropriately

You will get a satisfying answer and finally your issue will be resolved

Sending Email:

You can send them a mail containing the screenshots of all the documents.

As soon as they see your mail, investigation will be initiated

Once, they will get the reasons/answers, you will get an adequate mail from Air France

Can I Get a Call Back from Air France?

Are you looking to schedule a call back from Air France? If you say ‘YES’, definitely Air France will assist you with a call back. As a renowned airline organization, Air France provides 24/7 callback services throughout the year both for national and international customers. Thus, to receive a call from Air France, you should follow the below instructions:

You can request Air France through Live Chat to schedule a callback. You can get this option on its official website.

You can ask Air France for a callback through Air France official email address.

A callback request from Air France can also be sent through Air France social media official pages like Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin, or Twitter.

So, you can speak to a Live Executive at Air France even at your own ease and schedule. Air France with 214 aircrafts and touching 211 destinations lets you enjoy the most proficient air travelling experience as well as other essential assistance.

Concluding Points:

Therefore, you can better understand that Air France is solely committed to assist its customers in the best way possible. You can opt for any of the above options 365 days against your searches for how to talk to a person at Air France. Air France is a reputed and responsible airline that carves for the utmost satisfaction of its customers at any cost. Record says it provides the best traveling experience to its customers in all respects.

#how to talk to a person at Air France #how do i talk to a person at Air France #Get in Touch with Air France #Air France phone number #Air France representative #Air France customer service

0 notes

thecopyeditorsdesk · 1 year

Text

Day One

There is a temptation to have a New Year's Resolution even though I know they do not work. People all around me still believe that there is something magical about January 1st. Their optimism is almost contagious. However, no matter how well-intentioned, they will almost all fail. I suppose one could argue that it's the "trying" that matters. In some things, I imagine that is the case.

The truth is, it doesn't matter. All the hope we have for the new year is empty unless we come together to change things. We have been convinced that we must "go it alone" and “be the hero of our own story.” That lie is what ultimately fails us all. We are not meant to live so apart from others. We are supposed to live in community, to be a true support for one another. One might point to their religion, and I would counter with, "lose all you have and become homeless." You find out very quickly, at least in the US, that religion is not real community. (BTDT.)

Likewise, the state will not help us. Our rulers are beholden to their billionaire benefactors. Hoping they will do something to help us is vain hope. The short time they were of any use to us is over, and it's obviously never coming back. We have no choice but to save each other.

I know what it looks like. We all do. In fact, it was just in the news out of Buffalo. People came together to help each other survive, doing simple things like bringing people into their homes or small businesses and keeping them warm and fed. Craig Elston, Merry Christmas Jay, and, very significantly, Sha'Kyra Aughtry. What an amazing story of care and compassion. Capitalism cannot do any of those things. But we can.

I do not know how to bring it about, however. I do not know how to convince us to join together and help one another. I have conversations with other people in dire straits, and I leave it open; I hint heavily, and many times, I just outright say it. But no one does it. Is it because it is too much for us to imagine? Or is the fear of the other that we've been raised with so large that we cannot cross that line?

I wish I had a solution. I wish I could find enough like-minded people. Whenever I read in the news about a family who has had to flee Texas because of their anti-trans laws, I think it would be keen if I could help those who can't reasonably afford to get to Cali (where trans care is your right). We could get a big old house and we’d be able to afford rent together. Then we'd have shelter. The rest is easy after that. Really, it is that simple. I've been doing this for a while, and a permanent place to live is the one thing no one wants to help you with. They'll give you clothes, provide you off-brand canned goods, and even money for petrol for your car, but they will absolutely not give you a place to live. A place to live is where getting on your feet starts. It’s difficult to focus on a job or your mental health and addiction problems when you have to worry about where you will sleep tonight.

But there aren't enough people who can see past whatever "it" is that stands in their way. And there aren't enough people who have the means to help us combined with the will to do so. Instead, it is a NIMBY fight, even, and especially, in liberal neighborhoods. They prefer to gentrify a city rather than help its residents. They'd rather step over the homeless people outside their gated community than demand the city/state/fed governments help the people.

And that is where I will leave it. Because I have no solutions that anyone with any modicum of privilege is willing to assist. My only hope is that I make people uncomfortable when they read this and that the next time this issue is raised locally, they will finally take a stand for those in need.

Cross-posted on Post.

#housing is a human right #buffalo snowstorm #community #homelessness

0 notes