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prototypelq · 4 months

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if i may ask, what's your favorite fictional horsie? (ask inspired by the recent darksiders posting, which btw has some awesome-looking horses :D)

MUTUAL YOU HAVE STEPPED ON A LANDMINE. or more like a pressure plate that is wired to a nuclear landmine under Me.

oh no I am forced to confront my sins over unhinged animal obsessions now, okay

(MAGIC HORSEGIRL TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)

sidenote: while writing this I realised that the ask implied any kind of fantasy horse, but I'm now shoulder-deep in gaming horses tangent soooooo lol sorry not sorry. as for fantasy outside of games I really like the idea of Sleipnir, or any other kind of multi-legged horse, Ghost Rider flaming spirit horse is also super cool. Any horse-like creature that is predatory is freakishly awesome. Additional points for adding horns, scales, or swapping hooves for split-fingered/artiodactyl-like legs.

To be honest, I wish this ask was harder to answer than it is, because truth be told, there are very few games with horses. Decent horse animation is even less common than actually good horses, which is another factor that makes me very sad and harder to enjoy these mounts. Additionally, most of the games use horses as... 'car stand-ins' basically, there's very rarely anything uniquely Horse TM about the mounts, and usually they feel like glorified speed booster with questionable animations.

(spoiler: no, rdr2 does not have good horse animation, I have looked with literal scientific lens at thas game, consulted with different horsegirl enthusiasts about it, saw literally every available to public lecture on everything-horse-developed for it, and have concluded that, horse animation is overly complicated with little to-no noticable results, as are most things with that game. more on this later)

I'll obviously be forced to come back to RDR2 topic, but shelf it for now. Here be some of my fav horsies in games, not in any particular order (except RDR2 which will be discussed below).

Darksiders is pretty much a DMC-cousin series but with horses and this makes it so cool. The designers of horses for the Riders of the Apocalypse have gone out of their way to make all the Riders and their mounts look absolutely stunning. Despair looks both awesome and riveting and is my personal fave, Rampage has Mane Magic TM same as his rider Fury, Mayhem looks really cool in that armor, but, of course, Ruin is the posterchild for the series, and rightfully so!

Ruin is built absolutely true to his name. This horse looks like it runs on V8 infernal engine and pisses nuclear monster energy. He has fangs. His hooves scorch the ground underneath. This horse has the muscle mass of a red giant sun about to go supernova. He looks absolutely insane, the only thing you could fear more than this horse in a room is the person who is controlling him. So yes, an extremely fitting mount for War. (Ruin also has awesome mane physics, much appreciated)

Sadly, out of four Darksiders games, there are horse levels only 2 of them - those being the first two games (3 and Genesis are good, Genesis especially, but they both distanced themselves from 'big maps with dungeons' style maps, so horses are not really needed. Genesis has levels you can ride in, but the horses are not really needed in it, still, they are a welcome addition, especially with fans getting the final fourth horse design). Darksiders I and II are very much horsegirlgamer games, as both have Mounted Bossfights, which are BADASS, the Guardian fight in DS2 especially. Both really make you feel like the mythic Rider of the Apocalypse, they are amazing.

Darksiders II also gets an important mention from me for having The Best Trot Animation In Gaming To This Date. The horse trot is fluid, looks very expressive and it's clear Despair slows a lot of this, so it's not his preferred gait for riding, but the main highlight is Death's animation.

Most of the games are lazy with trot, as one of the riding techniques for handling it is just...sitting in the saddle aggressively (I mean it literally, as horse movement on trot is designed to throw you off, so technique number one is basically pushing yourself back into the saddle to counteract this). So the games are usually lazy and just glue the rider to the saddle to show this. However, the second, easier really, way to ride on trot is posting, which is standing up and down in rhythm with the horse's leg movement. Problem with trot is that you need to relearn it for each individual horse, as they all have different builds, leg lengh, breed, etc. With one horse it's easier to stay sitting, with another it would be impossible, but posting will be easy to do, and with some horses you can't do either, so your only hope is holding on until you change speed and gait.

youtube

Death's movement in this trot animation is so fluid, so minimal and effortless - it's natural for him. He is in complete harmony with Despair, and the way he posts shows exactly that. 10/10 best trot animation ever, fight me.

Okay so, from a very much deserved highlight, to a not really deserved one - Dragon Age Inquisition. I'll say from the get-go, the mounts in this game suck, they don't even alter your speed of movement! They are completely useless. You could rip a minecraft horse in their place and it would feel better to control, be more useful and have better animation than DAI native mount system. That said, their designs are so cool, Dracolisks especially.

Fun fact, even the game's Horsemaster pretty much throws hands at seeing these things. You know how a normal horse when mean transformes into a 400 kilo beast with immense bite force and body mass that can crush you? Well, dracolisks don't look that heavy, but they also seem to be ready to hunt you for sport and giggles. 10/10 intense factor, they look awesome and as a supposed leader of a world-saving institution you look very impressive while riding them (and frighten 99% of the population). (it's also hilarious to imagine a Maximus-Flynn situation from Tangled between these temperamental beasts and your poor party members or love interest)

Thankfully, most of my mutuals have been acquired pretty recently, meaning, after my Big Horizons Phase xD I really love HZD, and one of the neat things about it is actually horses!

Horizon ZD is the game that has the best controlling horses out of all the games I've played (yes, even rdr2 loses to it for a big reason I will elaborate later on), and the formula of it's success is very fun to look into: it lies in three very important factors: horse brain, player controls and animation, all of which have been solved simply, yet with grace.

HZD has made sure that your chosen mount has it's own pathfinding system, which does not turn off when the player starts riding the creature, so you can, and I almost quote the devs here - you can ride into a patch of woods on high speed, leg go of your controller, and the horse will avoid collision on its own. Isn't it just great when your supposed animal has it's own pathfinding made to simulate brain activity and their feeling of self-preservation. Point two: controls. The most important aspect of HZD mount controls is that - you keep controlling Aloy, the moment she starts riding there is no magical control transition in favour of your mount. There is no 'go forward' button, even pushing the stick forward works only for walk. You keep controlling Aloy, who is now riding on top of a horse-like-machine, so to go faster you press the button for her to kick the horse into next gear. To stop or slow down, you don't use sticks and don't let go of 'go forward button', that will actually do nothing, instead you need to press the button to make Aloy hold the cords of the machine closer. Under the surface, every game's horses are just 'reskined cars', but details like this make the player feel different, make you feel like your controls don't magically transcend to the animal your controlled character is on top of. This detail is small, but it's impact is very big, I assure you. Point three: animation. HZD devs did an awesome animation trick for the running cycle of Aloy and the horses, as those two are the ones players see the most of, and they are the first ones to get repetitive and boring for the player. Basically, animators did three variations of run cycle with different weight distribution (model veers sideways and steers back into weight neutral position), then coded in a system to randomly blend bits of these run animations together. The result is a partially randomised run animation, made out of fleshed-out hand-made ones, so it always looks good, quite diverse, and is not as repetitive. (I wish I remembered the specific talk where devs explained this, but there are so many of them, all fascinating btw, and its been a few years so sorry no source for you)

Two honourable mentions for the games I have not played myself, but they really deserve it when we're talking about horsegirlgames: Zelda BOTW and Shadow of the Colossus. These games have horses right out of every horsegirl's dreams - they are big, their manes long and gorgeous, their run animation so cartoonishly expressive yet graceful, it's mesmerising. Certified horsegamergirl games.

Honestly, it's impossible to not fall in love with them (unless you don't have a platform to run either of these, ahaha, fuck console wars).

And now. Now for the black sheep of my horsegames list. RDR2.

Disclaimer: I have spent way too much time in this game. 'got Zoologist' kind of too much time. While I will be critical, the game is certainly an acquired taste, and there have been enough people singing praises to it and never having the issues I got after putting hundreds of hours into it. I had a great time, which turned very sour after these hundreds of hours. Some players keep loving this game forever, some despise it from the start. Play on your own to formulate a personal opinion and don't defer to any of these camps.

RDR2 is a western movie through and through, and by that I mean that the game is extremely pretty on the outside, but has nothing substantial on the insde. This illusion held for me for long enough, but I was much saddened by peeking behind the curtain, and seeing what I found there. Again, this is a personal issue, it doesn't mean the game is bad or good, but my dissapointement is tied pretty much directly to how the game handles horses, since, y'know, this is supposendly 'the ultimate horsegirl game'.

The sad truth is that RDR2 horses are exactly 'reskinned cars', which is the trap that renders most of gaming horses so so so boring, but the illusion the game creates holds strong for a long while, plus the personification of your horsie (saddle, mane customisation, etc.) actually strenghtens that illusion big time.

I have pointed out what HZD did right for horses to feel so good thoroughly for a reason, said reason is: RDR2 got every point on that list wrong.

Let me show you some examples of RDR2 horse pathfinding.

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I chose these two specific clips for a reason - both are prime examples of exactly how lobotomised RDR2 horses are, but in different ways. First clip is user error (besides the fact that no horse could ever run on railways but I digress) - I have been enjoying the scenery too much, and the stick angle proved too much, so me and my beloved horse fell straight to our deaths off the side of that railway. I think it's pretty self-explanatory that irl horses are very self-preservation centered animals, and they don't just fall down random pits. If the RDR2 horses had kept their AI pathfinding running while the player controls them, this simple user error could have been negated - as the pathfinding system would quickly flash a 'don't fucking run into a pit', keep input from registering and the horse would just follow the side of the road without tumbling down. Which, in gamer's eyes would also roleplay as horse having it's own brains. The second example is even weirder - I've been using the 'cinematic mode', which means I put down the controller, and the horse is following the road to my chosen destination on his own, so, y'know, this should be a prime example of horse pathfinding. Wrong again! Granted, that weird woman is some sort of random event, she is not usually there, nor are there barrels, but if the object has a collison parameter it should have been freakin registered and the horse was supposed to jump over it.

So yeah, RDR2 horses are completely lobotomised to any sense of navigation, this has been likely done in favour of more direct player control and easier cinematic setups.

Point two: controls. This one is actually mixed, and I'll start with the good thing for a change. The good thing is RDR2 is literally the only game to allow for lateral movement for mount, in short, this allows you to turn around your horse clockwise while remaining in one place, basically spinning, on trot and gallop too no less! If you try the control inputs for this in any other game, you will end up circling around a set point, and not spinning in place. Which, very cool actually, and yeah the opportunity to do this feels good. Another great detail is Handling stat - which is, how responsive is your horse to your inputs (ex. more or less maneuverable, time to turn after input, how much you mash X to speed up to another gait), which all feel very distinct. Arabians are known for having exquisitely tight handling, you need only to lightly tap the button for them to listen to you, in contrast, work or draft horses will make live for your big thumb a living hell, as they need to be kicked a lot of times to do literally anything. This idea of changing character controls for each horse is very very good, and this I will gladly praise.

On the other hand RDR2 horse controls (dreadfuly). First off - your horse works based on a 'go forward' button mechanic, also the gait change is tied to it, and if you, for some reason, just 'let go' of your 'go forward button' you will after slowing down. I remember seeing a meme where the trigger and the X buttons were duck-taped to be constantly pressed on their own, and I can tell you it's not a joke. You just might need another controller after all the X mashing this game requires you to do. Just for horse controls - you mash X to go faster, you keep pushing X to remain at current speed, and the only time you let go of that button is to either mash it again, or if you want to slow down for a stop.

If you look at HZD controls explanation again, you might see just how damaging this control scheme is to the feel of your horse being an actual animal with their own head and brain, pair this controls madness with nonexistence of pathfinding, and well, RDR2 horses are justt lobotomised to a point of being a 'reskinned car'.

Last point, might be our saving grace here - animation. And, ehhhhhhhhhh, this one's positive but mixed. RDR2 devs did a great job at recognizing how different gait speeds for horses work, as well, gait is just the type of movement horse uses, it is not as strictly tied to speed as you might think. Just as you can hop down the street, or walk down the street at the same speed, trained horses can gallop at practicaly walking speed for shows (this does not work in reverse though - you cannot reach gallop speed while trotting). Game animators did their best to recognise and implement this, so the game is calculating leg movement and is blending animation when the gait-change is happening. However, what I ended up with in game, a lot of the time, is this:

I am not sure what this is caused by, I interpret this as the animation engine shrugging and going for a coffee break. This mistake is not uncommon at all, and there will be a lot of time when you see your horse 'hopping' like this with both front and back legs for a couple of seconds.

Let's just say, this is not how horses run. This is not even how they could run if they want to, or are trained to do this. Horses' entire anatomy revolves around their movement, which is built on a foundational truth that legs move in a set pattern, if that pattern is broken - horse will damage itself.

Again, this is likely just a technical issue, it appears often enough, but unless you know this is an error, you will likely sleep soundely at night. As you can see, I am not one of those people. I did not sleep soundly at night after looking into this. I have also consulted with all my horsegirl friends and a horsekeeping student over this and all of them confirmed this as an error. Still, it is very strange, that a game that bragged it has horse testicle physics down, has this blatant and frequent animation error in it.

Okay, I've thrashed RDR2 quite enough I think, the last bit I wanted to list here is another positive one. Muscle animation and animal sounds is this game are certified clinically insane. All the breathing muscle movement after cantering has been noted and animated to a golden standard, head muscle, snorting, leg muscle, all of these look insanely good. I mean literally insanely good, the animators that worked on this deserve awards.

Also, you could never say no to horse customisation. So, I wanted to wrap this monster of a post with a compilation of my RDR2 pretty horses photomoding.

#i hope this post is horsegirl enough #honestly i needed this thank you for the ask #we need more good horse games #like a lot more #(please im begging you)#give rdr2 horses the engine of hzd ones and that game could have been perfect #alas we have what we have plus lots of stupid fall compilations #horses #darksiders #darksiders 2 #shadow of the colossus #zelda botw #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #hzd #horizon zero dawn #rdr2 photomode

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

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fic rec friday 21

welcome to the twenty-first fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Most Artists are Messy by @shipsgalore

Lance is drawing a complicated flower on the base of Keith’s wrist and it makes his lips pull up into a smile despite the panic. They’re always flowers when it comes to Lance. He uses them in everything he does, and usually doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Keith can count on one hand how many times the doodles on his arms haven’t been of flowers.

i love this one because keith & lance are just blatantly and clearly autistic. it’s wonderful. it’s sweet and fluffy and it’s a modern au, which as y’all know is my jam, and the last few paragraphs do this specific thing with sentiment repetition that genuinely gets to me every time

2. Be Alive With Me Tonight by @caesaria [EXPLICIT] [ABO]

When the Blade of Marmora requests assistance on an information gathering mission, Lance and Keith go undercover as a bonded alpha and omega pair. At first, it seems like this is going to be more like a vacation than a mission – right up until everything falls apart and they realize how unprepared they really are. Now, Lance and Keith have to fight to not only survive, but to make it out together. They’ll have to rely not only on their skills as Paladin, but the bond they’ve created and nurtured between them.

okay i gave this one the explicit warning bc there are chapters that are explicit, but tbh the scenes are skippable if that’s not ur thing. now this fic is an EPIC. truly. its a quarter million words and the plot is breathtaking, the worldbuilding is iconic and the romance is like HOLY SHIT. this is a novel, and better yet its a KLANCE novel, so. highly recommend if you have a day or two to read.

3. roses by @renyoi

Lance is always getting flowers for Keith, so Keith decides to return the favor--with a little help, of course.

written for prompt #4 of klance valentine's week!

keith is hilarious here. just in general but here especially and i love him. he wants to pamper lance so so badly and hes so straightforward and earnest!! and allura’s character in here is also excellent. i will leave u with this one line from the fic that made me laugh it loud: “ The next day, the sun rises to Keith Kogane, dressed all in black (that’s all that was clean, okay?!), loitering around in front of Alluring Blossom, the 5-star-rated “I’ve never had such a delightful bouquet delivered to me in my entire life!” flower shop of a woman named Allura Altea. Keith automatically trusted her because he loves people that also have alliteration in their names. “ king. love him

4. here it comes by rideahorse

Keith watched a lonely droplet of water fall from Lance’s soaked bangs, curving a path over the bridge of his nose and then pooling—almost teasingly so—at the bow of his lips.

“I feel like I won, for some reason,” Lance said quietly.

what have i told yall about fics from 2016!!! this fic made me SMILE and im not usually a fan of like senior year of high school fics but holy shit!! holy SHIT!! this fic had me smiling and kicking my feet and losing my mind. i will leave u with the note i put on my bookmark (spoiler warning):

a couple things: 1. “lance is a bad influence” and “lance is a pretty princess (tm)” are god tier tags so thanks for that 2. keith with a tongue piercing. must i say more. 3. i miss keith gyeong that was an excellent era 4. the couple tattoo moment had me taking a Moment 5. here’s how i imagine the aftermath of this: shiro: i saw u ditched prom. are you okay? keith: yeah actually! lance convinced me that we have to have a wild final night, so we went to a High School Party (tm), i decked a guy for lance and your honour, we panic drove away, went skinny dipping in a pool, got caught, ran away naked for two blocks, went to sonic in another town, got matching tattoos, fucked in the backseat of my car, and watched the sunrise :)) shiro: shiro: shiro: shiro: i’m sorry. what were those last parts keith: yeah i know you really like sunrises we probably should have invited you :// but it was kind of an us thing i’m sure you understand :) shiro: KEITH

anyways i laughed

5. if silence was a song by @angstinspace

“It’s … Your show is on so late at night,” Keith tries to explain, as if Lance didn’t know this already. “I guess I was just wondering why that is.”

A crackling silence answers him, and Keith’s stomach sinks. Did Lance hang up? Keith can’t exactly blame him.

But then he hears Lance make a noise––a short huff of breath that might have been either an impatient sigh or a quiet laugh … Keith has no clue.

“That’s the reason you’re calling? To complain about my time slot?”

or, Keith starts anonymously calling Lance's college radio show and develops an unexpected crush.

@catnippackets did a comic of this i believe, and it literally never leaves my head. yall know the trope where one person gets a phone call and halfway through they sigh wistfully and say “god i wish you were here” and then the other person smiles so viscerally it can be felt through the phone and they say “look behind you” and theyre THERE?????? that makes me lose it every time. i love this fic

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#god fic rec friday is so healing 4 me #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith kogane #keith #klance #brown-eyed lance #autistic keith #autistic lance #keith gyeong #lance sanchez #modern au #canon divergence #fic rec #fic rec friday

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skaruresonic · 5 months

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It's my pet theory that, because fauxteurs can't make art - perhaps lacking the skill or know-how - they have to pump up their own egos by claiming to improve on an existing property.

Think about it. If your aim was to make art, you'd... be making art. You'd be pouring all your energy into the venture.

I don't even mean making art in the sense of "making something wholly original," which is impossible. I mean making adaptations with earnest intent. Not to one-up the OG creators, but to add that certain element that only you can provide.

The critical factor lies not in what you say, but in how you say it. When you look at its premise, Silent Hill 2 is actually not that original, all things considered. There were a number of psych thrillers released around that time like Memento and Lost Highway that follow male protagonists who kill their wives and reinvent reality as their fractured psyches see fit. What made SH2 so shocking was how that message was delivered, as well as the fact that SH2 capitalizes the strengths of games as an interactive medium. "The male MC turned out to have killed his wife this entire time" might not be so shocking when you're watching some dude onscreen, but after you've spent hours controlling his every move? Yeah. Back on topic: not only do fauxteurs pretend they have something new to say, they proceed to trip over their own shoelaces in attempting to say it because they have no real feel for art or how it's made. They just like to give off the impression that they do. They don't realize the medium is the message, nor that nothing new exists under the sun.

Like. It's already one thing to brag how you're elevating those silly video games with your vision, but then they always fail the skill check when it comes to bringing their own vision to fruition too. It'd be a much more different and nuanced conversation if we were dealing with end results that matched the original's quality, or even surpassed it, yet most of the time, they don't. In fact, fauxteurs' attempts to flex usually tend to backfire, and their Art(tm) brings even more complications to the table not seen in the original. Why is that? At some point you have to wonder, damn, are you sure the games suck, or are you just not very good at this creating thing and you're hiding behind games stigma as an excuse?

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simcardiac-arrested · 10 months

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unskippable cutscene time?

ok. this turned into me complaining about the fandom misinterpreting one of my fav characters, and only after all that did i actually start talking about said character. also i think this might actually be several separate reblogs because i talk way too much and it doesn’t all fit into one post

everyday i go on this website and i talk about my ace attorney faves. but look. godot. he's a very interesting guy. he's a very interesting Character. but no one fucking likes godot. it's just me and my friend who has a huge crush on him BUT LOOK. i dont need you to have a crush on godot. i just need someone to Think about him the same way i do. i need someone to actually think about his character for more than 2 seconds beyond the good looks and the asshole front. but because of a few mistranslations and scenes that just Read Wrong in an american setting, everyone thinks godot is a misogynist. even though he is SOOO not. like it;s literally not a thing for him in actual canon it's an actual mistranslation that makes people think he drinks misogyny juice instead of coffee every morning. my point is that godot is in fact not a misogynist, but my BIGGER point is: what if he Was. like if half the fandom thinks he hates women anyways, then why not make it interesting, you know?? like. look. obviously misogyny is not cool. but there are ways to write about it and to actually develop the character behind it. some of the fandom literally just reduces him to woman hater. like that's it? forreal? all im saying is if you're going to mischaracterize him that badly, at least make it INTERESTING. don't just make that his One Singular Trait. don't make him a misogynist because he hates every woman that's ever existed, make him one because he has good intentions but really warped ideas and worldviews. i don't know how well i'm explaining this, godot is just a complicated character, and everyone i see always simplifies him to The Asshole or The Misogynist. like yeah he CAN be those things if you want but maybe you could actually put some effort in deconstructing his biases and whatever. This is all a really long way to say that people mischaracterize godot very often and i hate it when they do that so if they're gonna do it so much they should at least make it fucking interesting (and i have a great example of a fic that does just that!! it's not godot-centered, and i just think that it's a really amazing fic in general and if you like ace attorney you should definitely read it. But like, back to godot: this fic does make him a misogynist, sure. it also Actually Explores how his toxic masculinity, his trauma, his loss of mia and his desire to protect maya all intertwine. he has good intentions and he's coming from a good place, and yet he's hurt and represses a lot and has some really fucked up ideas about what it means to be a man. he needs to protect maya not just because he failed protecting mia, but also because he's a man and she's a woman, etc etc. both of those ideas coexist for him. and i think it's really interesting to try and figure out where his "debt" and guilt about mia ends and where his toxic masculinity starts, where his need to protect maya because she's like a little sister to him ends and where the need to Protect Women(tm) in general starts. you know?? and then by the end of it he starts unlearning his bad ideas and starts coming to terms with his trauma!! Like holy shit can every godot is a misogynist truther start doing this please!!!!! i'm soo serious if you;re going to mischaracterize him at least make it fun to think about. but i digress. read the fic not only because it explores godot's character but also because it actually explores dahlia's character and backstory and explores the von karma family dynamic as well as many other things which the games never did. it's awesome)

#cramswering #i don’t mean for all my ace attorney character analyses to turn into fic recs but it’s not my fault i read so many good fics who explore the #Exact Themes I Wish To See Explored #anyway i will reblog this with more thoughts once tumblr stops bullying me

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coffee-without-anesthetics · 5 months

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following my All-Knowing And All-Agony and Tear Drop translations, i jumped ahead to kazui The Liar (tm), just out of curiosity to see if he hid stuff in lyrics of another languages, and lo and behold He Did! therefore, here be Cat, from japanese to french back to english! translated by yours falsely

in order to shorten this post, only lyrics different enough from the english ones are included.

if you want to use this translation anywhere, i wish to be credited!

Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade -> Lie, until you're relieved, follow the king of the mascarade [1]

It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself I just wanted to touch, to caress -> Regrets, I'd prefer them not to be mine -> I just wanted to touch it, just like a caress [2]

So it’s wrong? Oh shove that! Maybe, perhaps… or… could it come true… like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that? -> It's bad? Shut it. -> Maybe… no… it's possible… if only -> It was for true love, of course I lied. [3]

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple -> Love (plus) Destiny = Dirty, I shatter it goodbye -> It's nauseating to play the beautiful couple + disguised + I'm only joking -> Loving feelings (minus) love, this ridiculous game of illusions -> Victim and Criminal would suit us better

Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do? -> Tell me, if I told you I loved you, what would you think of it? [4]

I just wanted to ask, so it’s out in the open -> I wanted to know, to set the record straight [5]

All those things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud I gotta keep it inside and act The beating of this heart… see… it’s no longer about good and bad… it isn’t I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream -> My desires which I cannot admit (confess) -> A glass to keep them down [6] -> Those (heart) palpitations… you see… it's more of a story about good… or about bad -> Even while knowing it was impossible, this dream didn't leave me

I can’t stop, I can’t be normal This feeling, it can’t be gratified I can’t stop, I can’t be normal This feeling, it’s yearning to be satisfied -> I can't take this anymore, I'm different -> These feeling that have always been hidden (repressed) -> I can't take this anymore, I'm different -> These feelings that want to be unwound [7]

To be caressed by you, that would be perfection Maybe act capricious, on my word and at my fancy -> I dreamed of being caressed by you -> To act capricious and to leave you in the lurch

Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade -> Lick the crimes, and refuse the penalties, until you meet the king of the masquerade

the notes ah yes

the "relieved" here (soulagés) could both mean "to be rid of", like ridding yourself of a load or a responsibility, or "to be relived" as in "to be glad"

the "it" here is weird, because in the lyrics he used "y", an adverbial pronoun that replaces places, not really things. another translation i could make here is "I just wanted to touch there"

"of course I lied" ("bien sur que j'ai menti") could also be translated as "It's sure/It's a certainty that I lied."

an important thing to mention is that french doesn't have separate verbs between "to love" and "to like". people have circumvented this by adding "bien" when they mean they like something. kazui, however, just says "je t'aime"

translatable as an expression, but i like to be needlessly complicated with my translations. without adapting it to english, it's literally "to have the heart clear/neat/certain."

"keep them down" (ravaler) means literally "to swallow them again"

"to be unwound" ("se défouler") is more "to blow off steam (by letting go of inhibitions)", kinda To Let Yourself Go

#the divider was made by tsumi @tsuwmya #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui #the translator demon is up #milgram #post anesthetics posts

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ellies-enrichment · 7 months

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hi! i just wanted to say that your TLOU text posts are hilarious and i so appreciate that you love t swift. i hope you don’t mind me dropping in to say 2 things:

1. i wanted to ask what your thoughts are on 1989 (Taylor’s Version)?

2. this love (tv) and suburban legends are so tess x joel - core!

ok that’s all - have a great day!! <3

hihi ily !!

omg i have such a playlist of taylor songs i think are joel & tess coded but ive only ever dedicated to making the champagne problems video i'll have to listen into those for video ideas with them in mind (like out of the woods could be coded too but im also blorbified so anything can be a song for blorbies if i choose)

Lore, 1989 deluxe was the first taylor album i ever bought and the first album i ever bought with my own money. it has a special place in my heart. (though ranking changes and evermore remains on top, 1989 will always be My First album)

I refused to listen to songs from 1989 at all for over a MONTH leading up to the release because I wanted it to feel fresh and i didn't want the old versions to discourage my liking the new stuff (nostalgia be damned) and i wasn't disappointed but i did notice some songs sounding Different(tm) not a bad thing they're just different. I'll rank each song 1-10 for you with lil quirks if i have anything to say about them

(1/10 based on personal opinion AND production. it's a complicated math but im a professional)

welcome to new york - 6/10 - some lyrics sound like she's singing her heart out from behind a glass window & the producers are trying so hard to keep pitch the same while raising her volume which throws me off. she sings like i scream in dreams

blank space - 8/10 - ive always been a blank space girl and i'm not disappointed in the new version though i don't like the pen click.

Style - 6/10

out of the woods - 10/10

all you had to do was stay - 6/10

shake it off - 4/10

i wish you would - 6/10

Bad Blood (+kendrick version) - 5/10 - kendrick sounds fine but taylor sounds too happy. which i understand it's been years right the same anger isn't there anymore but bad blood needs that aggression

wildest dreams - 10/10 - better than the original

how you get the girl - 8/10

this love - 10/10

i know places - 10/10 i love the scream it's better than the original

clean - 9/10 the bridge sounds different but all and all the song is the same

wonderland - 7/10

you are in love - 9/10 - a personal favorite but "you are in love" cuts off "and so it goes" at the beginning of the bridge like slow down it feels rushed

new romantics - 8/10 - sounds like if someone covered a taylor swift song really well

PERSONAL OPINIONS BC NO OG TO COMPARE TO

"Slut!" - 7/10 - i guess i thought i was getting a because i liked a boy / ME! style song. if sabrina gets a remix i'll consider a higher rating - it's catchy though i'm sure it'll grow on me

Say Don't Go - 5/10 - again, it could grow on me but it's my least favorite of the vaults

Now that we don't talk - 8/10 - it's catchy i can get behind it

suburban legends - 7/10 - because idk how to spell suburban

is it over now? - 10000/10 - best song on the whole album ive rarely rightfully claimed the right song before release and this time i NAILED it Slut should've been this

#anyway EIGHT DAYS UNTIL SABRINA IS BACK ON STAGE OPENING FOR TAYLOR #i hope BA has better phone service than mexico city #i neeeed to see my girl #anonymous #asks #long post #new ask game let me do this for EVERY album taylor has released #i gotta make memes now ily thank you for letting me ramble about taylor on main (sideblog)

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binarystargames · 11 months

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Machinations of Court and Frame pre-production notes: Noble Houses and their Agents

I don't have an actual cover for this one yet so for now you get a screencap from the SRD title. This one's still at pretty high level. But I did some of that high level work and I wanna talk about it!

Speaking of the SRD, this is the third Total//Effect game I initially proposed/outlined/etc on the Total//Effect SRD. My general (self)-pitch was:

Mecha, But Politics

This Time, This One's About The People, Not The Mechs TM

(But it's also about feudalism and how internecine struggles between people in power completely do not care about the average person)

Political maneuvering and such. Heavy Faction emphasis in the form of noble Houses. Think Battletech or Game of Thrones or Dune.

Heavy emphasis on Relationships/Bonds/etc. They're big in Valiant Horizon but they're supposed to be even bigger here.

No "traditional" group tactical TTRPG combat. But there are mecha duels, because that's very important to me.

So first off, I think to give this the proper "space" (haha) to breathe, this one also needs to be a space game. This lets me be pretty vague on certain points without it being weird, especially I'm purposely relaxing "hard"-ness because the specifics aren't the point - everyone has FTL shit and can travel easy, planets are just habitable or terraformable and have atmospheres, it's fine. Get those good Dune/Battletech vibes going more so than like, Front Mission.

Given that, I think the proper order of operations is: Factions/Allegiances contain Houses which contain Planets. Factions/Allegiances are something that I think mostly gets hashed out in play but I'll focus on Houses/Planets.

Planets

The main resource I'm tracking is the number of planets they control, which is the only "resource" I'm tracking as such. More planets, more power in general: certain things can add "virtual" planets to this tally, like prominent (extra-population/resource/etc, counts as two) or independent (counts as half at most, is split X ways between any House with a trade agreement with them) planets. What do more planets get you? Each House gets X actions per Faction Turn: reinforce X planet, infiltrate Y planet, do some digging on Z, etc. I'm thinking the big benefit is that they get 2/3/4/5 actions if they have 1/3/6/10 planets: meaning a handful of lower Houses can overwhelm a higher one if they're isolated.

Houses

So off the bat, my first inclination was to do some kind of complicated 4X resource thing with Houses. But I realized very quickly that I didn't want that. The thing is that the interplay between Houses is not so much a game in and of itself as it is a backdrop to the personal action between agents of said Houses. Your points of view aren't the machine, they're also cogs in it, even if they are very important cogs. So what do we do for Houses?

To define a House, we start by defining the House's Distinction. This is kind of like a character class or playbook for the House. The ones I have down are Legacy (they're very old and storied), Money (they have a lot of it), Connections (they're got to where they are through intel and favor arbitrage), and Industry (they have control of some major supply of something, like food or ore). This is basically why they matter.

When you define this, the player making the House (this is a full-group effort, ideally, with each player making probably 2) is asked 3 Distinction-based questions to define something in particular about how the House got to where they are, who they're allied with, and who they're unfriendly with. Distinction also defines holdings, i.e. how many planets they start with, but it's based on a roll and each kind has various downsides: Money-Houses have High Die (average 5ish) but many are independent, while Connections-Houses have Low Die (average 2ish) but their capital is always Prominent. Because this isn't really a game about winning or losing, I'm perfectly fine with Houses starting on the front or back foot. For example, I rolled up 1 House of each kind to test this, and the Legacy and Money houses started with 4 each while the other two rolled very poorly ended up with 1 each. That instantly creates an asymmetric dynamic: maybe those first two are the major two powers, with the other two splitting one way or another (or combining forces to act as one...for now, anyway). That's workable!

The chosen Distinction also defines the Frames the House picks as its "core three" types (light, medium, heavy). I've defined 3 "lines" of mechs by name/manufacturer: the first is intended for old-money, focuses on melee capabilities, and labels theirs like TYPE-WEAPON; the second has more of a PMC vibe and labels theirs like 0X-ABC where ABC is a "character class" like KGT = Knight, RGR = Ranger, etc; and the third is full manufacturing and labels them XMYAZ (for instance MM10A4, like how the US military labels things as M16A4/etc). Legacy Houses have to pick 2/3 from the first (they're the oldest one, prior contracts, etc), Money houses have to pick 2/3 from the second (they have a expensive-but-practical vibe), Industry has to pick 2/3 from the last (more of an emphasis on no-frills craftsmanship), and Connections have to pick 1 of each.

Distinction does another thing with Relationships too but I'll get to it when writing about...

Agents

So the focus of the game is characters who are Agents. This is a very broad term that more or less comes down to "representative of a House, sponsored by them to get The Overwhelmingly Good Shit from their Frame manufacturer, sent to problem areas to fix or create problems or as liasons/representatives". Each player makes two and play shifts around various sides of a conflict on a per-session basis - when Agents clash, it could be with an NPC, or depending on what House moves have been taken, it could be another PC Agent! (And since direct conflicts are 1v1, you can just have this play out as PvP, unless both duelists were made by the same player.)

I'm taking a similar approach re: playbook/broad "class"-like distinctions to Agents. Specifically, I'm envisioning 6 kinds of Agents on a sliding scale of privilege/status/position from Heir/Scion at the high end (literally in line to be House leadership, or could be if enough people die) to Officer/Mercenary at the low end (not even nobles, just professionals who are good at mech fighting). The more important you are, the more Status you have: Status means that other characters with more/less relate to you differently. (One big one, for example, is that is no big deal for someone of higher Status to actually kill someone of lower in a battlefield duel, but someone of lower status is expected to find a way to disable rather than kill whatever inbred heir in their sight who has a death wish.) It does mean you've got more of a target on your back, however, and less ability to pivot around: I'm thinking a meta-currency equal to X - Status (probably 4 - Status, with Status being 1-3).

Playbooks/whatever I end up calling them also define a few things. I'm envisioning a passive ability relating to Relationships (like counting them as doubled for the purposes of Influence or unlocks), as well as starting packages: starting Relationships with the House and with people, and starting Moves picked from a big list split between Court Intrigues and Frame Maneuvers (like the Mercenary is Maneuvers-only at first, but it gets 4 instead of 3 Moves and can gain more of an appreciation for intrigue over time - think someone like Bronn from Game of Thrones).

Finally, back to Distinctions to talk about Relationships. When characters gain Relationships, they can take those out with other people (which gives advantages to influence them in particular) or with Houses. In addition to making it easier to influence them and various set benefits like extra Frame access or Tells on all that House's Frames or that person's Maneuvers, When they take a Bond (which is 1 of 6 points you can put into a Relationship, crystallized by a specific thing), they gain a token, which they can spend anytime to answer questions about a House: the questions in particular are defined by that Distinction/Playbook, and there's one good-connotated/one bad-connotated. For example, Legacy has a) What hidden secret in their past could propel this House to greatness? b) What dark event in their history or lineage is this House trying to hide? (Keep in mind these aren't just for good bonds, these can be for enemies too - a character can create a Relationship with a House they've sworn to bring to ruin, for example, and cash them in to create some horrid rift they can exploit, or a friendly Relationship can turn sour after a betrayal and lead to awful things being revealed on both sides.)

Hell Yeah

This game's gonna be cool as shit whenever I make it for real, folks. I mean I say this about literally every significant-sized game I make but this one's definitely also my baby.

#ttrpg #ttrpg design #machinations of court and frame #mocaf #could use lesscaf tbqh #total//effect

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randomingoftherandomness · 1 year

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Mowen×Lan Jue×Shulin

In the calligraphy stall meet up era. You can choose to have all three meet at the same time (I hear that's what happened in the book, Shulin was with him when Mowen ran past the stall on horse), or meet separately with Lan Jue and hear of the other person through Lan Jue. Or not to have met Lan Jue at the same time at all, as in Lan Jue met Mowen after Shulin's disappearance. I simply just want *complicated feelings TM involving the three of them.

If you want you can add an epilogue with what went on with Mowen in the time Shulin reappeared and Mowen had yet to leave for war.🤭

Hi Nonny! Thank you for the prompt (っ˘ω˘ς ) I hope I do it justice.

Just a bit of disclaimer, I didn't read the novel nor am I planning to.

~*~*~

Shulin feels a little hapless when he sees that his second favourite poem from Peizhi is tainted by the dust of the road. The haplessness grows into a budding spark of anger.

Especially when the rider of the horse that has just upended two days' worth of hard work, turns back to look at them, a corner of his lips lifted in a confident smirk that curls that spark into something that sits deeper, lower in his chest.

When he turns to Peizhi, he finds that his Zhiji has his eyes fixed on the rider. Even more so when said man dismounts in a graceful flourish that sees the sunshine catching on the richness of his robes.

Handsome doesn't even begin to describe the man. Tall, strong and proud, there's a sense that this man was born to be a hero. Just like those in all the stories he read as a child.

If he was so inclined, he thinks he could pick up a brush of his own to dedicate pages upon pages of written beauty to him.

Interesting, Shulin thinks distantly, feeling a prickle of warmth in his sternum that was most decidedly not anger, watching the man pick up the scroll of poetry, dusting it off with elegant fingers as he walks up to them.

Wang Yan, Mowen, is for a lack of a better word, a tool.

He flirts, incessantly. Breaking hearts left and right, dragging both Shulin and Peizhi along with him on whatever latest escapade he had landed himself in from making eyes with some Minister's daughter or some pretty scholar who fell victim to his roguish charms.

Because a rogue, he is. Mowen with his easy, confident demeanour as he slinks up to their door to beg for dinner and a drink, or some company, or even just to sit and watch as he and Peizhi work on their letters or read the evening away.

Mowen is, in short, not part of the plan.

He can't be part of the plan. Shulin idly entertains the idea of shuffling forth a deviation or two just to send the man away for a few years. Away far enough from the intrigues of court and whatever machinations he has planned for himself and Peizhi. Away for long enough that he can be out of the way. Out of trouble.

Shulin kills that thought before it can take root. Caring for something is a burden. Caring for someone is a curse that he cannot afford. But when Mowen slides down on the floor next to Shulin, shoulder knocking against his knee as he passes over a bottle of Nv Er Hong he filched from his father's cellar, there's a twist in his heart.

A budding that blooms under the warmth and fondness of Mowen's smile directed at him. Shulin swallows down the venom that dances on his tongue and carves a smile in reply instead as he takes the bottle.

"You like him."

Peizhi's voice is steady even if his gaze isn't. Shulin allows him to settle his hands on his hips, allows himself to be pulled closer in a tangle of limbs, hair, robes, skin to skin with no beginning and no end to where Peizhi's warmth is his and Shulin's chill is his own.

"You like him too," Shulin sighs, nuzzling his cheek to Peizhi's. "Don't lie. I saw how your brushstrokes falter when he bent over to pick up some boxes for me."

The non-answer wrapped in a slow hum is all Shulin needs to tilt his head and nip at a plush bottom lip, suckling it until Peizhi grunts in pain.

"What about you?" Peizhi asks, sliding his hand between the folds of his robes. His touch feels like a red hot brand. Shulin parts his lips on a shaky exhale as his eyes flutter shut.

"I like him enough," Shulin answers softly. Darting his gaze down to the pale slope of Peizhi's shoulder, he permits himself a heartbeat of honesty. "I like who you are when you are with him."

"Me too."

Shulin tilts his eyes to meet Peizhi's. Hand taking his own, Peizhi lifts his knuckles to his kiss-bitten lips, summer cherry red and half split by his efforts.

Dimly, he wonders if Mowen would permit his own lips to be painted in this same colour too.

They're fine.

They'll be fine. They'll survive, they will thrive, and they will grow.

They will be without him.

They will be safe.

Xu Dong sketches a quick bow in between hurried steps, barely a tip of his head to them as he carries Peizhi's orchid to his bedside. A good man, Xu Dong. Shulin is grateful that Peizhi has someone by his side like this.

"Why?"

Mowen's voice cuts through the quiet. Shulin turns to meet his eyes. There's no smile on his lips now. No confident amusement, none of the swagger he is known for throughout the capital.

Shulin regards him from over the rim of his cup of tea. The corners of Mowen's eyes are red, and anger colours the handsome lines of his face. Betrayal, the realisation settles in Shulin's bones like a run of lightning, because of me.

Mowen blinks, sitting back. Shulin quickly hides a cough in his sleeve. "I have no good answer," He rasps, clearing his throat.

It's at that that Mowen's body snaps forward, leaning halfway over the table to grab him by his shoulder. "Years, Shulin," He seethes. "We looked for you, searched every single time we caught wind that someone saw you. Why--"

"Why I never came back?" Shulin finishes in a whisper, lifting his eyes to meet Mowen's gaze. Swallowing down the copper tang on his tongue, he smiles, knowing precisely just how the red of his blood colours his lips.

To his surprise, Mowen shakes his head.

"Why are you back at all? Why now?" He stands, turning away from him as if he can't look at him for a moment longer. Shulin's hand itches to reach out but chooses to fold it in his sleeve instead.

"Would you believe it if I said it was because I missed you? Both of you?" He offers. A half-truth coloured with a patina of a life spent in a house in the middle of a lake when the truth hadn't yet unfurled her poisoned petals, and where Shulin had been the happiest since his childhood.

Mowen's fists clench and unclench. Shoulders tensed and unhappy. "Don't take me for a fool, Shulin. And please don't lie to me. I'm marching with the army tomorrow and I don't want to die with any regrets."

Shulin rushes forth, grabbing him by the arm. "You won't die."

"You're not a god, Shulin," Mowen chuckles softly, listing a little against him. Sliding his hand over Shulin's, he pats it gently, gripping it and pressing it to his chest. "You can't plan for everything."

I can, I have, I will, He aches to say. "Neither can you," Is what he offers instead, moving to press their bodies close. "So, none of this inauspicious talk."

When Mowen tilts their faces together, locking their lips in a familiar slide and push and pull, Shulin can only sigh.

"Is this really necessary?"

The shackles around his ankles clank in a discordant rhythm when he kicks the chain out in time to the rocking of the carriage. The action hurts his toes, but the pain is a welcomed frisson that cuts through the fugue of whatever drug Kuruo has supplied Peizhi to keep him in a constant state of delirium and dreaming.

They've been travelling for days. Shulin has been asleep for about as many of them.

Consciousness is a slipper eel that stays out of reach for the most parts. Whenever he tries to recall how he even got here, all that comes to him are the flashes of red mist, the scent of night blooms, an ache that cuts through his bones, and then.

Here. In this rocking carriage that makes him faintly nauseous, with his two lovers - former? Shulin really cannot say - as they escort him to distant lands.

Mowen's throat bobs. Probably swallowing back whatever is on his mind. Shulin laughs at the thought that Mowen is restraining himself because of him.

Lolling his head to the side, he squints up at the sudden sunlight in his eyes. Blinking sluggishly, he waits until his vision adjusts. Waits until the silhouette of Peizhi's form against the window materialises in his sight.

"I've lost," Shulin croaks. "If you, either of you, ever loved me, then kill me. I'm--"

"Shut up!"

Mowen pulls him back, chains and all and for a brief moment, Shulin thinks he will slide a blade between his ribs. Letting it find a home close to his heart. It would be fitting and it would be the least that he could do.

"No one is killing you," Mowen says, pulling him close to his chest with a gentleness Shulin isn't sure he deserves in the slightest. "We won't let them. We won't let you either."

Obediently following when Mowen tips his head back, lovingly coaxing his lips to part so that he can feed him Kuruo's concoction, Shulin knows, knows without a shadow of a doubt in his heart that Mowen won't force him if he chooses to close his mouth right now.

If he refuses to drink this, refuses to play along as they take him to whatever distant cage they have constructed to contain him, Shulin wonders with no small amount of interest about what they would do.

He parts his lips on a pant, blinking slowly as he swallows.

Whatever they have planned, Shulin wants to be part of it.

#a league of nobleman fic #a league of nobleman #lan jue #peizhi #wang yan #mowen #gu qingzhang #shulin #gab writes stuff #jun zi meng #mowen x lan jue #mowen x shulin #mowen x lan jue x shulin #lan jue x shulin #I hope this met the expectations you had

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llycaons · 8 months

Text

ep 34 (2/2): hey guys? I think jiang cheng might be stupid

well, this isn't boring anymore I suppose

this is bizzare - jc implying that lwj had some kind of shady connections to bring wwx back?

and wwx defending lwj, as he does

this performance from xz is SO good. the little hitch in his breath as he admits this - he's clearly close to tears

the kicker is. the kicker is I know why jc thinks the way he does even though I know he's wrong and his perceptions are skewed. and he does have sincere grievances with wwx here. because that WAS a shitty thing that wwx said, even if he didn't know how jl was. like you'd think an orphan would know better than to mock another (teenage) orphan but he can be such a dick sometimes

yeah this is something that it makes sense to be upset about too. though again given that wwx literally killed himself I think he knows

the plaintive streak in his line here reminds me so much of my younger brother. he almost sounds like a child, and he doesn't really have anything to defend himself.

yeah despite everything I've said about misconceptions of their relationship and how bad things really were back then for them, this little scene captures a lot of what's compelling and painful about their dynamic, and what pushes people to rewrite jc into someone already worthy of having a relationship with even in the midst of one of the worst things he ever does to wwx. worse than the attempted strangulation, I'd say. maybe on par with telling him to go die when he was already suicidal. up near attacking him as he was leaving LP for no other reason than he wanted to see him hurt. GOD this guy sucks

actually I can see this from his pov as well. like OBVIOUSLY he still hates wen ning, who murdered jzx and doomed their sister.

you know it's fully insane that fans make jc look for wwx for all those years because he genuinely misses him and wants him to be okay because this makes it so abundantly clear that he literally wants them both dead

good question, wwx! unfortunately we won't have time to unpack all that

jl was listening at the door, so he knew that jc wants to find wen ning and sends him out with that excuse. it's actually really funny how easy jc is to manipulate. that is not a very smart man

god I love jin ling. he has such a mouth on him. who else can disrespect jc like this? he's so funny

people will read that top line like "uwu I wanted my brother back 🥺' and maybe that's a part of it but jc literally says in the next sentence he would have murdered wwx so idk what he thought wwx was going to realistically do. I mean he literally already died, he wasn't going to offer himself up AGAIN. jc. be practical.

tho I do think a little part is that jc wanted to be trusted. even if he would have betrayed that. he's a complicated dude. people don't always make logical sense. and he always hated being out of the loop

but yeah jc is a deeply punitive person who wants to hurt people until he personally feels mollified, or to kill them. and this just isn't very condusive to like, lifelong stability or happiness. I'm the first to say nobody is obligated to forgive, but he raised jl to be so angry and focus so much on the negatives instead of focusing on jl as a person, his strengths and goals and hobbies. and that's destructive to jl I think, it's corrosive for a child to grow up with that burden and that pressure on him. and as soon as jl runs into an adult who supports him and uplifts him, he blooms

jc fans saying 'what do you MEAN jc doesn;t trust wwx. look how he left him with his nephew! if that isn't brotherly love (TM) I don't know what is!' are so funny because jiang cheng is actually just stupid. he's just dumb and he thinks this will work

jl being mean to wwx is fine because wwx started it, wwx is thirty years old, and it's funny. it's everything people like in the jc and wwx dynamic, adjusted for their ages, but without all the baggage of literal murder and torture. wwx did jl wrong, but he apologizes for his words, looks after and teaches and protects jl, and jl reluctantly loves him and protects him in turn. it's a really special relationship that deserves more than an afterthought in postcanon works

oh mister toxic masculinity is back

SO TRUE JIN LING. real men DON'T concern themselves with people who shame them for being feminine. come on wwx you're going to literally have gay sex you have to get over this

I love when he pulls out his 'wise mentor' voice. it's I'm sorry and thank you time!!!!!

oof. sobering words from someone who has suffered

AND HE APOLOGIZES!!!! he apologizes to jin ling!! it's a great step in their relationship and it's so gratifying to see. I said at one point that wwx isn't very apologetic, but this (and to jyl a few times, and to lwj) are the exceptions

personal highlights:

well the streets are pretty

lwj needing that extra push from wwx is like one of the only pieces of evidence he gives a shit about him in the episode

jl manipulating jc, mouthing off to him, and then letting wwx go is an enthralling series of events

wwx saying the im sorry and thank you line!! and apologizing to jl!!

#cql re-rewatch

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attwdc · 4 months

Text

fun little canon-adjacent thing which I keep thinking about: canonically a lot of the magic that keeps Life's house (& her lab specifically) running and in order is more of less just an extension of her since she spends all her time There and it gives her very close control over all of it.

but, at least once in a millennium, she needs a break. and that includes Not Constantly Dedicating Like Ten Percent Of Herself To Keeping It Together. maybe even more often than once in a millennium honestly. sometimes you need to Consult Possible Futures and for her that means taking a little nap ["little" means "anywhere between a day to three years"].

so, what's she to do?

well, here's the thing. while maintaining her experiments and keeping track of them is something she only does herself with rare assistance from whoever she's trained to be her apprentice (in ATTWDC's timeframe, this is Zeta), the magic that just Keeps The House Running is, ostensibly, also something Death could do. hypothetically. it's essentially just a bundle of very complicated enchantments which are manually kept in balance, which requires being able to keep a constant magical connection to all the Stuff (which is just a bit out of the range of most Sentient magic practitioners. just a bit). and, canonically, he Can maintain enchantments that she's cast -- it comes up in arc 4 with enchanted bandages that Karyn has to wear. so, hypothetically, it's possible.

with one small issue.

in order to do this, their relationship has to be mutually good enough such that (1) Life actually trusts Death enough to Maintain Her House, and furthermore, (2) Death somehow doesn't resent Life enough to say no out of spite and also you want me to baby your house? with all of your precious little experiments in it? for how long while you go take a break? very funny joke.

now, sometimes Death can be persuaded with the argument that it's mutually beneficial for Life to take a peek at potential futures. but, he would argue that this puts a pretty low time cap on her "vacation", and anyways technically she doesn't have to Sleep TM to do that.

but, like, really -- what benefit does it serve Death to do this? it means that he's stuck in her house instead (cringe), can't take any breaks (rough), has to do a type of work he hates (pass), and moreover do it for a potentially extended period of time? [death voice] "absolutely not, die, never ask me of this again"

except. this most certainly counts as Doing Life A Favor. which, in their messy and very antagonistic relationship, means that Death gets to make a Equivalent Or At Least Ostensibly Equal Demand in response. sometimes involving some of those aforementioned experiments which Life famously does Not like Death knowing about or meddling with. sometimes involving external political disputes that they've ended up on opposing sides of. sometimes a Avoid Judgment For Making Questionable Decisions card, abolitionist relative of the Monopoly game get out of jail free card. no Death will not tell you what he plans to use that card for ahead of time, best not to speculate about it too much.

which puts them at a fun little impasse: are they getting well enough along for this to be a conversation in the first place? are the mutual potential rewards worth the mundane or potentially high-chaotic side effects? will this be the time that fuck it, Life decides she wants to try one of those century-long naps that Death used to take all the time back in the Pliocene? party like it's 3200 BC? engage herself in a little terrorism with the factions who misbehaved most recently? will Death decide that maybe now would be the great time to take all of her work hostage because fuck you I'm still not over how you blew my cover back in the third century AD? or even not for any reason, just as a power play, see how much you enjoy being flexed on for no good reason? doesn't even do anything overtly malicious, but just slightly rearranges the rooms in her house because it'll be funny to mess with her muscle memory?

and ultimately, I think they probably do end up agreeing mutually so she can Take A Much Needed Break once every few hundred years or so since Life took residence in her lunar abode. but every time, rest assured, there are at least five levels of mind games going on, and neither of them are 100% sure that they got the winning end of the bargain.

#from the writer's den #amwriting #worldbuilding #life #death

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queenlua · 1 year

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bitchy board game review: wingspan

i want badly to love wingspan, and indeed, the three times i've played it all the way through, it was when someone was like "oh, Lua is here, we should play The Bird Board Game TM"

and it's not that it's a *bad* game, but it feels too elaborate and too complicated and too RNG-based for what it is

like, first off: the box says "40-70 minutes." i have never had a game go under 70min. one game went to *over two hours*. like, yes, each time i played there was at least one player who was new to the game, but on the other hand, come the fuck on. the upper end of that "estimated time of play" should account for "there's a n00b in the room!" there's a lot of competition in the 1-2 hours spot so Wingspan has to be *really* good to compete there, yaknow

and the mechanics sit in this uncanny valley where, like. the RNG is too high to build any particular engine *reliably*, but it's also too low to give that satisfying "think-on-your-feet chaos" feel. instead it feels like you've just gotta pick your engine early and hope the cards that get turned over support that plan, and those cards are an unsatisfyingly large part of what determines your fate. compare this to Terraforming Mars, which has a much *higher* RNG, but also feels much more satisfying, because *everyone's* responding to that chaos, and it's easier to do a hail-mary heel turn if things aren't going to plan

also, i'm *baffled* that people act like this is a good game for people who are Not Boardgame People; i've had to talk people down more than once when we've got a room of mixed interest/skill levels, and someone's like "let's get out wingspan" no!!! let's NOT. like, okay, maybe i just have board-game-PTSD from the time mom wanted me to explain Codenames to the cousins at Christmastime, but. explaining board games is not trivial! engine builders are inherently kinda complicated! have you considered Monopoly Deal or w/e

like, the art and theming is gorgeous. and the game IS fun once it gets going; i'd like to play it more often with folks who already know the rules, and see if that changes my opinion about some of the mechanics. but i don't quite get why this was such a local stores-sold-out-errywhere sensation

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mostlikelytofangirl · 1 year

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Summary: Family dinner at the Jiang's, the perfect chance to tell them about the news. Because those gathering weren't stressful enough before.

Characters: Nie Huaisang, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, Yu Ziyuan, Jiang Fengmian (ft. Jin Lin, Lan Sizhui)

Exactly what it says, dropping the bombs on the Jiangs and it's going to be as Jiang(tm) as it comes :'). And it totally will not lead to even more complications bc this is full unconditional support situation.

#mdzs #sangcheng #wangxiao #xuanli #nie huaisang #jiang cheng #wei wuxuan #lan wangji #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #yu ziyuan #jiang fengmian #omegaverse #it's not as bad as it sounds #it's still messy #bc they are a complicated family but they care #in their own particular way #me is writing

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fandoms-of-a-random-existence · 1 year

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2, 14, 19 for OCverse asks!!

Ohohoho!! I will be completely honest this is the 2nd time I'm typing this all out bc I got distracted by a notification and by the time I got back (3 seconds later) my words had been lost to the void. Anyways! I've got a handful of different projects all running around amuck, but I rolled a dice and today we're gonna talk about [Unnamed Space Train Murder Mystery]!! Admittedly the newest and roughest round the edges but They Are In My Brain <3

Okay whipping out question screenshots for memory purposes!

Well if they weren't paying that much attention it'd probably be like "wait they actually put train tracks in space", "that is a lot of confusing/complicated politics rolling in the background", "Capitalism (extremely derogatory)", and perhaps "wait if that's one of the few characters with a solid name what's with calling him white hair and trauma all the time" (in my defense while Mneme has a solid Working Name TM (honestly the entire concept of Names in this place sure has Layers) white hair and trauma is funnier to me personally)

This is honestly such a hard question bc I am enjoying pretty much all of it (except the writing. Arguably the most important bit. Um. Its fine don't worry about it /j) but I'd say it's the overall worldbuilding and how I can fold character backstories to resonate or build them from the ground up with whatever new nugget of information I've gleaned about this dystopian nightmare land. But also since I mentioned it before it's also the little things like how none of the train workers work under the name they signed their contracts under and how Titles Mean More Than You'd Think and how "true names" depend on who we're talking about, there's one guy who goes by his preferred LAST name and while his sister has a legal name for the contract what she'd consider her "true name" is actually her Working One and I'm just. Brainrot <3

Gosh I think about the train workers SO MUCH there's only a few who are especially plot relevant but the working conditions in Fucked Up Capitalist Dystopia Land are as awful as those words imply. Possibly worse. Can't wait til that gets kicked in. But back to my point!! They've all just got ridiculous bonds to each other they care and support they're so found family what do you mean about that poisoning attempt?? What's a little attempted murder between friends?? (Also while I cannot explain the unhinged dynamics between those two at 3 am, just know 2 seconds after witnessing the person they were trying to poison actually take the cup, in a frantic manner that one would not expect of the person, you know, actually having set this up, the poisoner grabbed the cup, chugged the entire thing and then spent the next week Utterly Miserable (because of drinking poison) also there's another guy who has killed in defense of the others before and Will Kill Again (not the actual plot investigated murder. Honestly this guy's Main Victim (ie, the one he'd most get in trouble for) is actually presumed alive for most if not all the first book or so

Anywhatzits it is now 3 am and I have come to the realization I really should be sleeping now but also! The ocs <333

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writingmoth · 1 year

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🍁 🌾🌸 and 💫 for your favorite and your newest OC!!!

favorite oc: valerian from anti snow white

newest oc: my guardian from destiny 2 lol here he is and yes he doesnt have a name. yet.

whew this got LONG

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

valerian: the thing about valerian is that he doesnt have a home besides the first forest. the story begins with him FINALLY leaving the forest behind so it takes a looooooong time for him to have any sort of place that is his own. when he wants some time for himself he tries to go to any place with trees, since they remind him of the first forest and while he has very complicated feelings about the place, its the home he has known the longest.

the guardian: i guess with guardians its kinda impossible to have a completely alone time since their ghosts are always there ;-;

for those who dont know destiny 2, ghosts are little machines (?) who resurrect your guardian/player character all the time in game & the reason you have any powers at all. guardian and ghosts share a bond (usually) and are rarely seen separated.

the guardian's ghost is the one speaking in the first of the screenshots i linked above.

anyway, i see my guardian going to the edz when hes tired of the tower's bullshit just to enjoy the view and relax. i dont see him having a room at the tower - his "comfort corner" would probably be in his ship, where he stuffs all knickknacks he gets in his missions.

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

valerian: hes a little shit. he is a good person... deep down, under the vanity, arrogance and pettiness. so, you know, he's not evil... but he is annoying, clingy and selfish at times. he has no filter AT ALL and no impulse control to speak of, so writing him is like letting loose a cannon ball and watching it blast through a china shop. its just fun lol

the guardian: he shares a bit with valerian here... just a little bit bc valerian is downright unhinged lol the guardian i see more as someone who is very responsible, always there to help etc but he just has no patience for the bullshit associated with actually being, you know, the Guardian(tm). so hes very cranky and definitely not here to socialize. i like this contrast between actually being a hero vs not being a people person.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

i wont be using romantic love here!

also im taking this describe in a not literal sense

valerian: boy this is hard bc *points to the question above* valerian is NOT an easy person to love. but vespertine ADORES him (tho vespertine doesnt show up for most of the first book... books?). vespertine sees all of valerian's... quirks as an expression of his free spirit, so to speak, and his authenticness (?). valerian might be an asshole, but hes an honest asshole and an open book. you always know what he is feeling and what he wants because he will tell you right away (be speaking or through actions). and as awful as he can be, he can be caring and he is the most loyal person ever.

so vespertine isnt annoyed by valerian's pettiness and selfishness bc... well, valerian is their blind spot. as far as vespertine is concerned, valerian is actually right in literally everything. was he mean? well, you deserved it. was he arrogant? well, he has reason to be, so thats fine. is valerian throwing a tantrum? well, have you tried doing what he wants? it usually works.

yeah, vespertine is an enabler. it's a nice contrast to ira, who also loves valerian dearly (...eventually) but doesn't take any of his shit. for ira, it's valerian's honesty and vulnerability that draws the eye. ira sees that below the layers of nonsense, valerian is a simple person with simple needs and wants, and ira can relate to a LOT of these needs and wants. so they end up being kindred spirits. sort of. if you ignore valerian's assholeness.

if you guys let me i can ramble about valerian forever lol

the guardian: using ghost for this bc, well. ghost is the main reason i ended up making an oc for destiny 2.

like i said above, the guardian is not a people person. he can be quite rebellious and not fond of authority, but i think that ghost would love him for the opposite of all that. he would see that despite being very much not the right personality type for being the Hero(tm), the guardian never forsakes his duty. he's gritting his teeth through a lot of it but he's doing it. he's dependable, a good listener and funny when he does decide to talk, though it is annoying that he rarely does.

thats it, i think! thank you so much for the ask!!!

#replies #me when ghost shows just how much he cares for the guardian: im sorry team i cant aim for shit bc im trying to see through my tEARS #i cant wait to write the dynamic between vespertine valerian and ira tho #esp when you can throw roma in the mix #just to watch hell break loose #antisnowwhite #destiny 2

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carriesthewind · 2 years

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The recent twitter kerfuffle over “are young men getting to have enough sex?!” has gotten me thinking about how we talk about the importance of listening to, and believing, the people who are affected by a situation discussing that situation. Specifically, I’ve seen a number of men who, when they receive pushback for giving a Bad Take (tm) on the issue, respond with some version (implicit or explicit) of, “my take is based on my experience and you all are Bad/Misandrists for refusing to listen to me about my own experience.”

While the loudest of the voices making these arguments are doing so in bad faith, I fully believe that many of them (or people quietly reading along) are genuine. And it’s not hard to see a misguided but good-faith young man saying, hey, wait a minute. I’m a young man who is not having sex when I really want too, and I think it’s b/c [modern women won’t date poor men/my head is the wrong shape/misandry has replaced misogyny/etc.] and the solution is [mandated sex for involuntarily celebrate men/punishments for women who cheat/focusing on discrimination against men b/c women have too much social power now/etc.]. These lefty progressive types are always saying we should listen to the people who are actually affected by an issue - so why are they not listen to me when I try to talk about this important issue that affects me?

Of course, that’s because there is a difference. Of course we should listen to young men (and not-young men!) talk about the experience of not being able to have sex. And while we (as a society) generally already do exactly this, there is definitely improvements we can make to ensuring that men - especially non-traditionally “masculine” men and men who are marginalized in various ways (gay, trans, fat, disabled, not white, etc.) - have safe paces to discuss those feelings in vulnerable and open ways and be heard. But these men being the authorities on how they feel about their own experiences is not the same as knowing what the problems are or what to do about them, and that is where the disconnect lies.

The difference is between being an expert on your own experience, expert on the broader experience of the relevant group, and being an expert on the problem and solutions.

Likewise, when we talk about listening to minorities and disadvantaged groups - listen to black people, believe women about sexual assault, focus on trans people when talking about trans issues, etc - normally, we are saying this because we are saying to listen to those experiences, because as a culture, as a whole, we don’t even generally accept those experiences exist. The panic over young men not getting to have enough sex is regular enough that I had to specify the recent discourse - the culture accepts that there are young men who don’t get to have sex they want and it sucks for them. But mainstream culture and politically powerful actors do not necessarily accept systemic racism, the widespread sexual assault of women, or even that trans people really exist as a valid way to exist.

Furthermore, because the experiences of minorities are under-appreciated and their struggles disbelieved, members of those minority groups are often the ones who have to become experts in the problems and potential solutions. To the extent mainstream culture and power structures even recognize those issues, they may be using a bigoted framework to study and understand them. This is further complicated by the fact that because members of these groups are disadvantaged, they often have difficulty accessing the formal structures of licensing and expertise (e.g. academia), and so have to seek expertise outside these normal structures. Even if members of the group are able to get into academic or power structures, 1) the most likely members to get into those power structures are likely to be the ones most willing and able to conform to the bigoted hierarchy and 2) if they don’t conform, they will often receive institutional pushback. This is why it’s a good idea, when researching a topic that affects a minority or disadvantaged group, to "listen to marginalized voices" - e.g. seek out voices from that group to see what they have to say about the formal research and research institutions.

And it’s worth talking about this distinction explicitly because while I think it’s something a lot of us progressive lefty types kind of intuit, and it is something that is talked about in (good) activist circles, it’s something that I don’t often seen laid out in online and casual spaces. And I think it’s one of the things that leads to a lot of the problems in those spaces.

Most of us understand, for example, that if someone with dyslexia says their dyslexia was cured by Scientology, we don’t need to believe them. But I think that sometimes that understanding gets confused into “everyone knows Scientology is bs so obviously that person’s experience is bs,” rather than, “this person can speak about their experience of dyslexia and how they don’t feel like it affects them anymore, but they do not have the necessary expertise to say that it is cured (if other evidence points to it not be cured) or what cured it, and they things they are claiming go against a vast weight of other evidence.” This lack of distinction, I think is how we get everything from Tumblr nonsense like people pretending to be lesbian HIV-positive nonbinary Chinese-Pakistani trafficking survivors living in India when they are actually white American teenagers, spouting absolute nonsense and throwing their “identities” around when people call them on it; to lgbtq+ twitter uses frequently piling on to other lgbtq+ figures (usually transwomen) for perceived imperfections and justifying their own actions by describing their own feelings of pain; to fandom puritans declaring that they know the solution to abuse (removing “bad fic”) based on their own personal discomfort with said fic; to grifters (or even just people who are severely under-informed but don't know it) who leverage their status as members of disadvantaged groups to claim expertise and either spread misinformation or divert resources to their scams. And I think it’s why I’ve seen some people get genuinely turned around and not know how to respond to people like our hypothetical sincere young man above.

And I don’t think there is any universal solution. But part of the solution is more general education about, and mindfulness of, these essential differences in expertise - expertise in your lived experience, expertise on the general experience of a marginalized group, expertise on the problem, and expertise on finding potential solutions.

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