I often see people discuss the narrative of women being put down by men and the social and economical systems that they have built.

But as I have grown older, I have realized that the depths of these inequalities are truly not understood.

They are not understood because they have never been felt.

Many men in their lives will never experience the painstakingly meticulous ways in which our characters as women are picked apart. They will never feel the scrutiny of every eye in the room, silently judging you and picking apart your face, your body, your hair, your skin, your stance, how you smell, how you smile, how you stand, how you move, how you speak, and even how you breathe.

Everything, everything, is up on a platform for review.

And not because we want it to be, but simply because we exist in the same room, the same town, the same country, the same world, as men.

We exist. But we exist "differently" and so, we must be examined.

But we are "different" and therefore we can never be as good as them.

Everything about our character must be questioned.

There is a noticeable apprehension before a group of men truly trust the character of a woman.

"Are you sure? How can we verify this?"

"We must ask another group of men for the same answer before we trust a woman."

I read fiction books in my high school about women living during the turn of the 19th century, struggling with themselves. Struggling to fill the voids in their lives, these feelings of a lack of purpose. Struggling to maintain a decent status amongst their peers. Fretting appearances whilst fretting personal fulfillment.

But, they could never find peace or satisfaction with themselves, and it wasn't due to a lack of trying. It was because there is only so much that these women are allowed to do within their current restrictive societies.

And when these women were at their lowest, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope in their lovers. Yes, surely these men who flirt and kiss and "love" them will truly try to understand them.

Laughable.

Their lovers extinguish that last glimmer of hope.

They do not see these women as people, independent persons, but as objects, attachments, dolls.

Your autonomy is nonexistent and your character will forever be questioned.

There is nothing like the deep sorrow of women.

It is the tragic realization that you will never be recognized or valued for who you are.

Simply because you exist, you will be questioned, you will be scrutinized, and you will not be valued.

When you are forced to constantly swim through a repulsive, putrid narrative like this, how could you not break?

So, before you men blow off our pain, because you don't think it's that bad, remember that people like you have always been placed on a higher pedestal. You have never had to have this type of deep-seeded sorrow and existentialism forcibly shoved into your heart. You will never have to experience the subtle and silent, or even loud and violent, acts that are carried out against us, simply because we are women.

You will never feel it, because you don't have to.

But if you can empathize, please do.

And if you can't, keep walking until you fall off the face of the earth.

Thoughts on Buddy Daddies Episode 9

I have so many thoughts about this episode and it all stems from P.A works' fantastic SUBTLE writing choices.

This episode, on paper, sounds like a pretty cliche sports day episode, but they somehow managed to show us the character progression and the relationship progression between the characters.

The biggest progress we can blatantly see is Rei taking an effort to help Kazuki more.

And we can see that Kazuki reacts accordingly.

Kazuki is surprised by this development, and voices his concern.

Rei was genuinely impacted by the events in episode 7, realizing that he was pretty 'useless' when it came to raising Miri, and has taken the initiative to give a helping hand.

And what I love about that is, we know that Rei had absolutely no clue how to work a microwave or any basic cooking, so for him to automatically suggest and start making onigiri shows that either he had previously asked Kazuki how to make simple items, or two, he was more observant when Kazuki was cooking, because he wanted to be able to do more, do anything to make his little girl smile.

And it's so wonderful to see them actually bring up this plot point and continue it, rather than letting it be a one-off plot point.

They pick up on his interest to be more involved and we see him actually trying.

Knowing the unfortunate circumstances of his childhood, it's not that Rei doesn't want to help out or get into Miri's activities, but rather that he simply doesn't KNOW what to do. Doesn't know what's right.

His hesitance throughout the Episode is evidence of that, his hesitance to give Miri his riceballs.

He genuinely looks so sad, feeling like he can't compete with Kazuki's sheer talent with cooking.

His hesitance to even cheer for Miri.

Growing up in a family full of espionage and assassination, quietness and taking up little to no space must've been embedded into his system, into his psyche, and the fact that he's actively trying to be loud, to draw attention to himself, just shows the effort he's putting into taking care and raising Miri, something his father never attempted to try.

And both Kazuki and Miri appreciate his efforts.

They understand that he's trying and are so enthusiastic and receptive to his attempts.

Which is why he takes it to heart that Miri fell down because he was 'loud'.

I think, in that moment, he thought that he failed, that failure is never acceptable.

But, that final reassurance from Miri (in the cutest way possible), that he didn't fail, he didn't do anything wrong, and Miri considers them all to be a family, something he never had, something he's never known, that's all he needed to realize that, yes, maybe he'll fail, but at the end of the day, Miri is happy, and there's nothing else that matters.

The other one I wanted to talk about, which is definitely more subtle, but the progression of Kazuki and Rei's relationship is truly so beautiful.

Kazuki treasures the help Rei attempts and supports him in every way possible.

When Rei said that he wanted to make riceballs and was worried if Miri would like it, Kazuki instantly reassures him that Miri would love it.

In fact, he proudly proclaims to Miri that Rei would be making onigiri. And I'm sure that if he hadn't, there might be a chance that Miri wouldn't have been able to eat it, while Rei was clouded by his doubt.

When Miri says that she likes the onigiri and she thanks Rei, Kazuki immediately tells him, "hey, you did good, look our daughter agrees too. You're doing good and trying, and we both see that".

When Rei is drowning in his self-loathing about potentially causing Miri to lose the gold medal, Kazuki tries to reassure him and tell him that he didn't do anything wrong.

Finally, when they're walking back, Kazuki tells him that he's proud of him, that he worked hard, and you can tell that Rei really appreciated that, to know that his efforts were being accepted.

And that's why their relationship grows in such an organic manner, Rei puts in the effort, tries his best to help out to the best of his abilities, and Kazuki reassures him, let's him know about things that he would have no idea about, and vocally supports him.

And Miri, my sweet angel, with her bright personality and even brighter smile, constantly comforts both Kazuki and Rei, that she's happy, that they ARE a family.

The reason they are a family is because each one of them helps each other, is an equal part in the group.

And at the end of the day, they're just all trying their best, taking one step at a time, while the others, cheer them on.

(And this picture is the perfect symbolism of that sentiment, Rei awkwardly trying his best to smile, and Kazuki physically trying to bring him closer into the picture).

Would you by any chance be willing to do Lynette being given a flower from reader? But like instead of it being a real flower its glass? They made it themselves for her and it has all these different colors of glass to try and make it look as pretty and real as possible?

👌done.

lynette x gn!reader fluff, whether they are together or not, i leave it up to you. Reader is not Traveller, small spoilers for Lyney story quest

A flower for you.

To say making a glass flower is a challenge is an understatement.

When you signed up for a glass flower making workshop that was held by a local glassblower, you did not know it was this hard.

It's not that it isn't difficult, it's just that... You wanted it to be perfect for Lynette. Sweet, quiet, but absolutely wonderful Lynette.

As to how that happened...

flashback 2 months ago

'Say, wouldn't this show on September 30 be your 100th show with Lyney?" You casually ask over tea, as Lynette sips her tea. Today's tea is Earl Grey tea, one of the classics. "Exiting Standby Mode. Yes, it would be. Lyney has been thinking of celebrating afterwards." She replies softly.

"How do you feel about it?"

"Much happy, actually. We've come a long way since our first show." Lynette replies simply, before eating a macaron.

You go silent at her words. Having met at a back alley while feeding some alley cats, the both of you have fostered a budding friendship over feeding cats, and over time, drinking tea as well.

"Perhaps I should take you up on your offer to reserve a ticket to a show after all." You state softly to Lynette.

"Really?"

You nod.

"Alright then, I'll pass you a ticket the next tea session."

What you don't add is the fact that you'll be bringing a small gift for her to celebrate her 100th show with Lyney.

Much thought had been put in place for the gift.

To buy it? To make it? The thoughts plague you. She can't have anything strong smelling because she's sensitive to scent, so no perfumes, no flowers...

Wait a minute...

And that's how you're in the workshop for a private studio session, trying to ambitiously make a rainbow flower.

The first time you went for a workshop, you made a decent simple flower.

And you were going along with that until...

"My brother gave the Traveller a Rainbow Rose during a private magic show for them." Lynette once offhandedly mentioned to you.

"He was probably imitating Mr Cesar, but even I can't deny that was rather smooth of my brother."

And that's how you're trying to make a glass rainbow flower for her.

Sitting down, you take in a deep breathe, trying to calm down.

After lots of money, time spent on this, and only a week left to that 100th show, This was literally the last chance.

With that, you begin shaping the petals, petal by petal. Even though you had decent practice, you still unfortunately burned your finger a little, causing you to take a short break when you were making the green petal.

After a while, all 7 petals are done, and set to cool.

Next up, the stems and leaves, in the color of silver, just to somewhat match her outfit during shows.

Slowly, slowly, you combine everything.

It wasn't the most ideal compared to what you had seen others do, but it'll have to do.

At least it wasn't like the 2nd try where everything went wrong.

"Welcome to Lyney and Lynette's magic show!" Lyney warmly welcomes the audience, you among them.

Most people would keep their eyes on Lyney, for he is the star of the show. However, your eyes were always on Lynette, watching her throughout the show.

The first time you went to watch the show, while most of your friends focused on Lyney, your eyes always focused on Lynette, causing you to miss out the main show every single time.

Call it infatuation, but you were smitten at the start. Daydreams of hugging her, kissing her, cherishing her filled your mind.

You never thought you'll see her outside the show, that day you were feeding cats.

But ever since, you've been blessing the cats, least to say.

In a blur, the magic show was over. Your mind focused on Lynette all the time, the way she'll simply pop out of nowhere, her stoic demeanour, sharp and calculated movements aimed at being a shadow in the presence of the overwhelming light that was her brother.

The show ends, and you head backstage to find Lynette.

"Ah, and you are?" Lyney appears with a polite smile, but what it does not betray is his deep suspicions that you have insincere motives.

"Y/N. I'm looking for your sister. Do you know where she is?" You ask gently, knowing from Lynette's mentions of her brother that he's very protective of her.

"Ah, Y/N." The twins ring out at the same time.

So that's the friend Lynette has been mentioning lately, Lyney muses to himself.

"How was the show?" Lynette asks, internally glad that you, someone close to her, made it for such an occasion.

"It was great! And I, well, have something for you." You awkwardly take out the glass flower, embarrassed at giving her this in front of her brother.

"I'm sorry if it's not very beautiful compared to real flowers, but you told me before that you were sensitive to the scent of flowers, so I thought I would get you another type of flower. I hope you like it." You state weakly, feeling more and more embarrassed.

"Any.. anyway, congratulations for your 100th show, and um, all the best for future ones!" And with that, you left backstage, leaving the twins with each other.

"So... Y/N..." Lyney cheekily asks, with an underlying hint of suspicion and concern.

"They're fine." Lynette replies, stroking each glass petal of the flower. "They had a small burn on their finger." She states softly, face turning red at the realisation that it wasn't bought, but made by you.

"Sounds like you like them, sister." Lynette eggs her on for an answer.

"How about you worry on how to gain back more of the Traveler's trust first? Wouldn't want to lose their affections, would you?" Lynette rebutts back softly, still recalling your blushing face.

She knows of your eyes on her throughout the show, ever since the first one you attended. While she was initally... scared because of past experiences, her personal interactions with you, and all the things her feline friends have been telling her about you when you're feeding them...

A small smile creeps onto her face. Lyney watches, not used to seeing his calm sister a little lovestruck.

Perhaps she would ask Lyney for some advice to be more bold in expressing her affections for Y/N.

Or maybe not, I'm still not sure about how I feel for Y/N. All I know is that Y/N is special to me, friend or more.

"Still, be careful, Lynette." Lyney warns her softly, in reference to their Fatui ties.

She sighs.

"I know, don't worry. We will be alright."

I spent 15 minutes considering what a glass flower was and googling how to make a glass flower.

You can use the link here

As always, likes and reblogs appreciated, Requests are still open as usual

Hey so uhhh I was wondering if you can make a lil small itty witty fic about jotaro's pov on the reader, like how he sees them how he feels about them and what not, kinda just random thought yk bit i feel like itd be cute🤭🤭 i hope you understand what i mean by this, anywhom I hope you have a wonderful day 🫶🫶

hiya! sorry this took so long to fulfill TT. But eventually I got this out for everyone to see~~ Hope I gave your request some justice and hope everyone enjoys it ^^ also i recommend playing this for some additional feels~

word count: 959

Love.

Such a strange, contradicting feeling that is. It’s subtle yet it’s obvious. It creeps up to you the way a vine does on a decrepit wall, yet it hits you straight out of nowhere like a punch you didn’t expect coming. It’s selfless and selfish at the same time. Bits of every emotion ever felt laced with this one feeling.

Others found it stemmed from a sense of destiny, a fate interwoven in the universe. Others figured it was simply a feature built into human beings due to our species being the social type who craved connections with fellow humans.

For me, I have always been the one to side with reason and logic, often siding with the scientific explanations and dismissing the crap that was merely wishful thinking, but when it comes to this… I’m not sure I completely side with either.

Honestly, I don’t even know if love is something I’m able to express properly the way others express it. And the reason? It’s complicated.

My mother was the hopeless romantic, so full of love and care tending to my wellbeing, compensating for the lack my father couldn’t give me due to his work. Outside of family, I never knew how to show love to others, more so when they treat me and my mom like outsiders.

And so I thought, “Since I’m not sure how this works, why should I love someone else when all it does is make me tired in the long run, exhausted from spreading it to assholes who’d taunt and abuse you in return?”

I was sure of my decision. Just as I always was with anything else.

But then you came.

You were everything new and unfamiliar. Someone who I couldn’t understand at first because you were so different from me- passionate, outspoken, lively, and brimmed with so much love. But, just like love itself, you were a walking contradiction.

You had all these positive traits that blended you neatly with the rest, but you were also sassy, sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and assertive which admittedly caught me off guard. One that wasn’t afraid to bite to protect or wouldn't back down without putting up a fight no matter how friendly you were.

If anything, you made me intrigued. Your foreign charm made me want to know you more the way the other students failed to do.

And so, I did what I wanted to do. I allowed you to venture more into my life- being a part of my break times and hours of dismissal, knowing about my Stand, learning about my family’s generational problem with an old enemy, and joining me in the quest to solve it.

Throughout it all, when all I wanted was to know you better, I grew to learn the one thing I thought I couldn’t do… I grew to love you.

I couldn’t accept it at first because it startled me when all of a sudden, I became aware of how my heart raced and my stomach fluttered every time you cast a beaming smile in my direction or whenever you showed me genuine kindness time and time again. Or even when you sass me whenever I tried to throw you off with my usual rudeness.

Your laughter moved me to smile and do the most stupid shit to make you that happy again. Your tears urged me to help you through your pains, to move past my cold reserved shell and engulf you with warmth.

And your confession encouraged me to reciprocate- to acknowledge and let you know how I truly felt about you.

Suddenly, after the bullshit all of us had to go through, all the times we spent with our friends… you became someone more than just a close friend.

Unexpectedly, you became my lover.

And I didn’t know why. I was everything messed up when you met me the first time and time we saw each other again years after our journey. With the first, I was a rude delinquent unable to fit in with the crowd. The second an insomniac college student who was too much of a coward to fight his own trauma.

Yet despite all my flaws, all my constant attempts to flee from my deeply-seated insecurities and fears, you were so stubborn and undyingly loyal that you never gave up on me. You stood by my side, held me when I was at my weakest, and professed that no matter the situation-

You’d stay with me until the end.

Because you loved me just as much as I have loved you for all these years.

And look where we are right now- happily married for 7 years in a cozy villa by the sea, raising our beautiful daughter unconditionally.

In the end, love is unexpected. It isn’t linear nor is it too chaotic. It’s a pinch of fate and a handful of the need to seek intimacy. It comes in many shapes and forms, including one in the shape of my dear spouse.   

I don’t know how to end this rather long journal entry but I guess I can end it with a note to you, in case you’re reading.

For all the bullshit you had to put up with, the amount of patience you had staying with me, the times when you had to power through all these supernatural obstacles… Thank you.

Thank you for seeing me through thick and thin. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Thank you for helping me throughout our time together.

I wish for nothing more than to continue our life as it is right now.

I love you and always will.

Any advice on how to break out of an insane long art/writing block? My minds been going crazy with ideas, yet my hands say “Nope! lol!” Mode for some time.

I absolutely hate art blocks they're the worst. I've had some that lasted for months on end, sometimes a whole year so I'll give what advice I can to help you break out of this funk. 👍

Important bits are highlighted.

I suggest changing up your drawing environment for a bit, declutter anything on your desk or drawing spot, clean anything that could be in the way. Sometimes a change in your environment can help you feel less stressed. Cluttered spaces can change how we behave and it can also mess up our thinking process without us even noticing it so give that a try. (This applies to studying and doing homework as well!)

If you can, go to a new location and just try relaxing. Try going to a park, a colorful part of a city, a zoo you never went to, or even just walk around a neighborhood. This works similar to the above advice with changing your environment.

Write down the drawing idea you had for later and sketch something else lazily, do not put effort into the sketch, just feel and do whatever. After that, practice SKETCHING (sketching, not drawing, this does not need to be perfect or a masterpiece or a final product of sorts) parts of your desired drawing idea. Do this until you feel yourself being more comfortable.

RELAX! A lot of times when I start to feel an art block coming on mid-drawing, I notice my hand and face is not relaxed. If you feel yourself gripping a pencil/pen hard when drawing, take deep breaths in and out and relax. Drawing with your hands gripped is a sign of stress and art should be relaxing, not a stressful chore.

This follows up on number 4. Try lightly exercising. And I emphasize lightly. Especially if you are not someone who regularly exercises (remember to stretch before). Do something to get your heart going just a little bit. Sometimes doing this helps relives stress you may not be aware of and it also makes you feel more loose and energetic afterwards. This is because your body will release endorphins (the hormones that make you happy) into the body after exercising. Along that, make sure you're hydrated. No really, drink water.

SLEEP WELL! Make sure you are taking care of your body by getting enough sleep.

Draw out of your comfort zone. Try to start practicing on drawing things you are not usually used to drawing. Your Kryptonite basically. Personally, my kryptonite is cars and mechanical things.

That's all I can think of for now. If I think of more, I will reblog this with the attached new list.

You may or may not be confused on why I am focusing so much on the body and not actual drawing part itself. The thing is, art block is both a mental thing and physical thing that results from stress, exhaustion, or other factors you may not be aware of that can be helped (usually). An example? When I'm busy with college or when I had my first job last year I was so stressed out that the very idea of getting out my graphics tablet and drawing made me feel like I didn't want to draw anymore. I lost interest in doing something I really like. The same happened when I was in a STEM high school. I was too stressed out to pick up a pencil and draw.

You need to make sure your brain is stimulated and relaxed before you draw and after you draw and that can be done through exercise, new changes to the environment, or simply just trying new things with art. Your brain is in charge of so many things and that includes how you're feeling, so do what you can to take care of it.

two birds || Act V

Summary:

Hanahaki: A disease stemming from bottling up romantic feelings, as these decide to grow inside the lungs and the blood system of the sick person, resulting in flowers. Thus the first symptoms are the coughing up of flower petals accompanied by pain and breathlessness, as the flower continues to grow as long as the affected does not confess their feelings. Alternatively, the growing flower can be removed via surgery, but it may affect the ill person’s ability to feel love in various forms. Or How do you react with falling in love with no real chance? Simple, a tragedy in five acts.

Wordcount: 0.7k

Read on AO3 || Masterlist

Pairing:

Obito Uchiha / Reader

Tags/CW:

features of a tragedy, hanahaki disease, childhood friends, some degree of isolation, No War AU,

Note:

Please note that I choose to not tag some stuff, as it contains heavy spoilers, proceed with caution and with the knowledge that everything is either connected to the tragedy aspect, or the hanahaki disease itself. last chapter, enjoy!!

Scene I. – OBITO UCHIHA, your home, dust settled into their new home, boards creaking with and echo of ‘i miss you’

He hadn't entered this place in such a long time, he couldn't bear the sight of the creaky floors, singing the tales of your past, of the dusty curtain, unmoving when the wind should be blowing through its threads. And despite the old air, or especially because of the rotting air, everything smells like flowers, sickeningly sweet with a tingle of iron embracing it. The smell covers everything, the faint wisps of tea of the past, the fresh paint cracking.

A wave of nausea threatens to spill into his insides, but he gulps and pulls through. He has to, his honor as a ninja demands a cool head (he had to, or else he wouldn't know what to do with himself). Still, he enters the kitchen, not the bedroom, never the bedroom, filled with blooming, rotting flowers, and opens a window to at least allow a tiny breeze in, in hopes to get rid of that clogging smell. He's almost inclined to just stick his head out of it, but pulls himself together before doing so and takes a seat, his seat at the table.

For a moment he expects to smell warm tea, to hear the clacking of the utensils. But there's nothing but his own strained breath. Silence in front of him. And before he can think too much about it, he pulls some crumbled paper out of his pocket, putting it on the table, smoothing it down as best as he can.

He hadn't opened the letter yet, had been waiting for some calm space, for the right time, even if in truth he had been pushing it away, trying to not think about it. But he's aware of his need for closure.

That's why he's sitting there, fingers slowly opening the heavy paper, carefully. Unfolding it he averts his gaze lest he skips over the text in his slow haste.

An Inhale. And exhale. A gaze upon the paper.

Hello Obito, honestly, I don’t know what to write, what to tell you, but if you’re reading this, it means I’m dead. I barely remember a time when I wasn’t by your side, when we hadn’t talked for hours, or simply sat in silence. And this changed of course, like everything else had to. We grew up and our routines changed, time squeezed tight. Still, that didn’t take from the joy of being in your presence, the laughter deep in my lungs. That laughter didn’t stop this, though. The disease settling there. The Hanahaki Disease, apparently. The flowers were beautiful, and they kept blooming inside me, the love unfurling and killing me slowly. The first time it happened, I knew there was something wrong with me. Why did this happen to me? Did I not deserve to love, to be loved? But I realized that despite the deep ache, I loved, and I loved too much, everything, and nothing. And love was such an ingrained part of me, I could hardly get rid of it, only to survive. So I allowed it to consume me. Doesn’t it sound romantic? To be consumed by your own immense love… And you’re probably asking yourself, why, or rather who. Well, I’m taking the seeds of that secret to my grave. They shouldn’t carry the guilt, the burden, as they have no responsibility in this. It’s my fault, and mine alone. I’m the one who refused to get rid of that all-consuming love, as in a way I loved it too… I’m getting off-topic, as usual. I’m writing you this letter to apologize, I’m sorry, wholeheartedly. I never wanted to leave, I never wanted to avoid you, I never wanted to hurt you like this. Writing this hurts more than the roots inside of me; I keep thinking of everything we've ever done together, your dreams, our hopes, and the giggles as Sensei broke you and Kakashi apart. I miss you, with every breath I take. And you’re always going to be in my heart, the dearest and closest to me, for eternity and beyond. I hope I can rest in yours, never forgotten. Take care of yourself, as I will be always watching over you, in the sunshine tickling your nose, the whispers of the wind, listen closely.

Again, I’m sorry, for everything I left behind. Yours, dearly

ari this is a THREAT ‼️⚠️ i am cornering u with a knife… that i will use to cut out a slice of carrot cake for u to enjoy while you tell me more of your thoughts on the stsg reincarnation au u mentioned in your tags 🍰 >:3 bc i am nothing if not NOSY !!

i feel like i’d heard abt an au like that before too but the only one that comes to mind rn is this one where suguru’s a barista.. n satoru is soooo starstruck just instantly like he even waits outside in the rain for suguru to clock out 😖😖 in love with how op drew them too the pouty look on satoru’s face in the second one kills me every time like aaaahhh they’re so pretty </33 prettiest boys ever….

LOGAN I GOT SO SCARED 😥😥 ty for the carrot cake i am munching on it happily :33

BUT OKOK i think i’ve figured it out …. i’ve ALSO seen that specific reincarnation au (i love it sm it hurts OUR PRETTY BOYS…..) and i think i’ve also seen some other art for another series entirely where the reincarnated characters met in a museum… so my brain probably just . mashed those two together PHDJDH 😭😭 but ok we ball I’M SO GLAD UR CURIOUS i thought abt it a bit more before going to bed yesterday and my thoughts spiralled into a whole plot PHDJDGB LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK…….. (warning!! this got long ALSO tagging mickey obv i need stsg nation approval for this @softgirlgonehaywire)

ok so !!!! first of all. satoru is a stem boy in this au. that’s simply how he is. he has literally no interest in The Fine Arts, and just so happens to get dragged to a museum for a school trip. he doesn’t really see the appeal yk?? just a bunch of stuffy rich people (he’s rich too but he’s not like the others he’s down w the poor <33) walking around like zombies….. he just hates the atmosphere bc he sincerely loves interacting w people and everyone in the museum is just staring at the paintings and sculptures and so on w/o even talking abt them :/// yeah. he does Not like art. (he just doesn’t Get It yet!!)

then we have suguru. our beloved. suguru is an art student <3 a bit pretentious about it <33 goes to a prestigious art school and lives and breathes art. he LOVES going to museums and exhibits and galleries just to dissect the pieces, think about their meaning, study them up close…. similarly to satoru i think his feelings about art have a lot to do with his yearning for connection and companionship; satoru doesn’t like art because he sees it as an isolated activity (average stem boy smh he just doesn’t Get it), suguru loves art because it gives him the chance to connect with painters new and old. he’s sooo enamored with the idea that he can forge a kind of connection with someone long dead, just by looking at something they made with their hands and mind. it’s so dear to him. (this is important for the Themes ok bear with me </3)

so!!! basically!!!! satoru is a stem boy, suguru is an art girl, and they happen to be in the same art museum at the same time. one of them is bored out of his mind, dragging his friends around and generally being a disturbance to the peace, the other is delicately and thoughtfully going from painting to painting. lost in his own little world.

they stumble upon one particular painting at the same time.

it depicts a man with long, black hair, clad in robes and smiling with the sun sinking behind him. his face is partially obscured, a little blurry, but his smile is framed almost as the center of the piece. it’s beautiful. the colours are warm, the brushstrokes are delicate, and there’s a tenderness to it that neither of them can quite put their finger on. but it’s so fervent. when they look down in search of the name of the piece and its painter, they see the following:

my one and only — unknown artist. (this is pure love starts playing in the bg)

satoru, for whatever reason, can’t take his eyes of this particular painting. he’s mesmerized. he’s never felt like this before — never felt so moved by a piece of art. suguru can’t turn away, either, but he thinks to himself that he feels a little sick. he’s never looked at a painting and felt as if it was looking right back at him. and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get a sense of the artist’s intent. he feels like he should be able to, but it’s too out of reach.

finally, suguru notices satoru standing only a couple steps away, and asks what he thinks. smiling politely. satoru is completely entranced, but meets suguru’s gaze, and all he can verbalize is that it’s pretty.

suguru loves to be a contrarian — but this time, he genuinely can’t bring himself to agree.

ok so here i’m thinking they fight a bit <33 it’s how they get to know each other (in typical stsg fashion)!! suguru really doesn't like this painting for some reason, while satoru really loves this painting (for some reason), and feels oddly protective over it. so suguru makes a throwaway comment that pisses satoru off, he gets a little hissy, they bicker a bit, that’s all. suguru offhandedly mentions that he goes to an art school. satoru ends up remembering this.

aaaaand here is where the Plot begins <33 i hope u are still with me logan & mickey here is a treat and a snack for u to munch on while reading because tbh i dont think im stopping anytime soon (you did this 😞😞): 🍨🧋 🍧🍵

satoru, as previously stated, is a stem boy. he’s never cared about art. but this painting makes him feel something, something that he’s never felt before. he’s never felt so fulfilled, and after some contemplation he realizes that must be because he’s an art boy at heart. he’s found his true calling.(<- his own assumption lol) he’s just so!! excited!!! he buys a big canvas and expensive brushes and sits down to make his Masterpiece, certain that it’ll end up mending the hole in his heart, the feeling he’s been plagued by for as long as he can recall — that something is missing from his life. (satoru assumes that this something is art.) (it’s actually suguru.)

after a very eventful evening, satoru discovers that he can’t fucking paint.

and he’s horrified by this revelation bc he’s a GENIUS. he can literally do Anything if he just tries. but he sucks at art. he just can’t do it. he sits down and tries his best to paint but nothing comes out well. there’s a gap between his imagination and reality and that just irks him. he doesn’t know what to do. he’s so used to never needing anybody’s help, but it sure would be nice if he had an art student to help him out a bit…..

……………………

satoru ends up hunting suguru down <33 by going to every single art gallery he can find in tokyo. suguru calls him a stalker. satoru asks suguru to tutor him. suguru thinks he’s insane. (but obv ends up agreeing bc no one can resist the allure of a stem boy finding his true calling) (mickey this wasnt even an intentional parallel to the vamp fic we’re just connected through the hivemind i swear)

and!! while we’re on the topic of suguru — he’s currently having a bit of a crisis because he’s never truly encountered a piece of art that’s made him feel as uncomfortable as my one and only did, and even though he knows it’s a good thing he can’t help but suddenly feel a tiny bit afraid of art. something about the smile of the man in the painting makes him feel a little nauseous, a little guilty. he can’t focus as much when he’s painting anymore, and it bothers him.

he also can’t stop thinking about the white haired little freak in the museum, who seemed so out of place, but looked so sincerely captivated by this one single painting. what does he see in it that suguru doesn’t? he just doesn’t get it.

he figures tutoring said freak will give him some answers.

aaaaand that’s the plot!!! they end up bonding through art and both take their time trying to figure out why they’re so fixated on my one and only. which obv happens to be the final work of satoru gojo, dedicated to suguru geto to keep his memory alive <333 nobody knows exactly where the painting came from, but it’s said to be a symbol of true love. a connection that transcends time. etc etc etc. u get me. satoru and suguru can’t help but feel drawn to it, and it helps them find each other again. they have this feeling towards the painting, towards each other, that they can’t quite put their finger on. something out of reach.

(one time, satoru dreams of a man with a severed arm, framed by the sunset, and wakes up with tears in his eyes.

he feels as if he’s forgotten something important.)

Hello, Andrew here. This blog article was sent to me and I can assure you that this is not correct information but a reaction likely of those who were involved. This information likely stems from previous MoM or HM themselves, I guess, seeing that they have been banned properly recently (which I am only stating because you already stated it yourself, otherwise I would not give away who is or is not banned)

When I took over I made it very clear in an NB post that the harrassment of users, witch hunt on site, and generally toxic and disrespectful behaviour needs to stop. Everyone is more than welcome to share opinions, but this was not that, this was simply insanely rude behaviour that was based on wrong information given by the MoM/HM to the other leaders of WoP, who then compiled their letter. Which is also the reason why after all of this these other site leaders were put back into their positions after everything was cleared up.

I have banned a total of 4 people from 800-900 actives at the time for continuing their disrespectful behaviour and outright slandering (one of them later on) despite my very clear warning in the article (I was surprised that it was only so few, but almost everyone was just glad to be able to enjoy the website again). I also made an effort to respond to each single comment transparently and open minded. Many of the people who removed content or joined that group hype have talked to me, told me their opinions, and gave me the opportunity to work on their missing trust together. I am on good terms with almost all of the old staff with maybe 5 exceptions (MoM, HM for being the reason this went down and one old staff on bad terms; the other two people I am neutral towards as I never spoke with them and don't know their thoughts) Every old staff member who reached out to me has their own experiences and opinioms and don't always agree with me, but they are more than valued and often play important roles in our staff as well - whether student or grad. In fact, I really enjoyed every single talk with them and appreciate anyone who reached out despite their fear of rejection, as that takes a lot of courage

The old MoM and HM were banned later on, yes, you can feel free to ask them for the exact reason I put in. The previous behaviour of theirs is unwelcome on site, and they created a horrible environment for people at the time this happened, just because of a "money grabbing" feature that was completely changed back anyway for other reasons. One of them was still logging in on alt for reasons I don't really understand, because they made sure everyone knew their hate towards Dan and the site. So why log in almost regularly even after almost a year? I guess I know why ,but that is just an assumption, so I will not voice it here

Aside from that, if you paid attention to the site development, you would also see that since then (but not because of that), new users got free VIP, people with jobs get discount, linking accounts gets a whole 50% discount, and such

I am mostly replying to clear some things up because I don't enjoy reactions that are based on false facts. I wanted to stay on WoP US as a temporary solution, but the community has been loving and welcoming, which was really unexpected considering the circumstances they went through

This is something that happened almost a whole year ago now, I even unbanned one of the 4 bans that took place when I took over, so technically it is only 3

I hope that this could clear up confusion and misunderstanding. I would like to see this message public because I am mostly writing it for the very few that might end up seeing it. Considering the nature of this post, you already made up your mind about me and that is okay. But I want to give my insight first hand, as I don't enjoy someone trying to slander my name based on more accusations of those people who were banned for false accusations in the first place

Magical regards,

Andrew Sutherland (WoP US)

By the way, I am only asking this anonymously because of privacy concerns regarding this account (never use Tumblr anyway)

Added in a later message: "Andrew here again, please add this xD I saw that you have made clarifications regarding there possibly being more to these accusations, my response was mainly aimed towards the person asking the question, but I do admit that I thought that that message was originally from you, the blog writer, and only saw your response later on (I am not used to tumblr and on phone it doesnt show all on one screen, oops). Just wanted to clarify that as it may explain some wording of mine!"

No hard feelings on my side, thanks for the clarification! If I can share both sides of the story, that is what I want to do and you've allowed me to share yours. It's greatly appreciated and I hope this clears the air a little bit.

NOTE: I can't verify if this person is who they say they are, the anonymous submissions are anonymous to me as well. I have no reason to doubt or suspect that it's someone else writing in their name, but I want to note that with anonymity there is a risk of abuse and impersonation. I don't think that's the case here though.

This is actually such a good perspective, I think so many parents get wrapped up in what their kids shouldn’t do or maintaining control over their children often to unhealthy amounts. There’s absolutely no reason to shoot your child’s ideas down or discourage them or tell them no for no apparent reason if there safety is not at risk or anything of the sort. I think it’s always “no, that’ll make a mess.” “No, because I just don’t feel like it” “no, because I said so” but what about your child though?? I also saw a TikTok the other day where a little boys dad had threatened to take his door off the hinges if he kept closing the door simply because his mother told him not to while he was using his imagination to play a real life game of among us. Not only did he not provide his child with an explanation as to why he couldn’t close the door he also threatened to completely take his privacy away.

“Why on earth would you think intimidating children is a win.”

“I shouldn’t have to explain this to you.”

Most common mistake most of our parents especially parents of color constantly make. I’m not sure where the constant urge to control your child and place fear in them to feel superior really stems from. I experience it with my own mother and I see it with other peoples parents as well. Threatening, belittling, (maybe) even telling them no or denying them experiences simply because you don’t care for it or don’t want them to do it, etc etc.

I think the whole point of being a child and having a childhood is to be a child and make memories and experience things. Holding your child back with unnecessary controlling ideas or superiority complexes or simply because what your child desires makes no sense to you is a dangerous thing to carry while raising a child. They have expressive imaginations for a reason, communicate the way they do for a reason, have big emotions and big ideas for a reason, not sure why you would ever want to put a lock on your baby/child and stump them so they grow up and have issues like self esteem issues where they feel they aren’t capable of making good and right decisions and anything of the sort.

how did you arrive at your progressive punk christianity outlook after being immersed in conservative christianity?

ooh!! good question. see I don’t really think what I was immersed in was particularly conservative—in circles I’ve been around we’ve always dissed Americans for being conservative (kinda mean I know) and my dad used to take me to climate change protests in the 2000s and I was always taught the 6 days of creation aren’t literal, the rapture isn’t real, women in stem etc. idk how it was anywhere else but the part of sydney I grew up in was just Like That, there was encouragement to give to the poor to actually end poverty and people actually did even though none of us really had heaps and I guess I wasn’t raised to be okay with entitlement but simply be kind to everyone? And I didn’t even know what conservative was until I was maybe 17 (I thought it was a style of fashion for ages and then I thought it meant conserving nature and history). It was always just Christians are meant to be genuinely kind and not have sex til you’re older and preferably married yknow?? and work hard, like the protestant work ethic was def a thing but somehow in a non ableist way as much as this is possible— I get real impatient with people bitching about stuff getting taken away from them, not realising how much they have when I probably have less and I’m usually giving away as much as I’m able and as much will put me in a state of perceived danger. It’s definitely a form of rebellion against them to see how little I can survive on which I’m working on. I also didn’t even know that so many Christians were transphobic like I thought it was only the extreme theobros. I also had a really lovely geography teacher in high school who was also a Christian and used her faith to drive environmental action, my biology teacher was a Christian and stood up for trans rights and I also had acccss to the internet to read up on clobber passages and hear peoples stories and it was always like ‘oh yeah some Christians believe different things based on how they read this stuff’ and I don’t think it was until I was old enough to actually vote and saw what propoganda was going around I really realised the power dynamic behind it, with the rise of the Australian Christian lobby which felt like it was straight out of the US. I fully thought voting was just liberals if you like fossil fuels, greens to save the environment, and labor if you’re a people pleaser and like fun little rhymes like ‘Kevin 07’ and attempting to be feminist but not really getting anything done. I actually met Martyn Iles once and was like ‘damn this guy is a fake Aussie this isn’t how we do Christianity’. I also got super burnt out by how hard and how biblically I tried to love my classmates on top of the Protestant work ethic about my schoolwork I never really cared about for myself, and was well versed in theology enough to be like HA! Grace means that we don’t have to do all that and can just do our sustainable best, still thinking my view was mainstream. I went to uni to study enviro sci at 17 and I thought my convictions to not drive unless Absolutely Necessary were driven by Christian ethics (which they were, how rigid I was with it was a pda response though). Then over the years realised very belatedly how people often didn’t validate my views and experiences and I’d expect they would (bc they were biblically rooted) and got quite hurt when they didn’t. Spent years in different volunteer ministries trying to put together the kind of community talked about in books like Philippians only to constantly be let down and feel isolated and that only driving me to work harder, despite knowing God’s grace meant I didn’t have to feeling like I couldn’t stop while my earthly needs for connection were unmet, saying yes to things I’d previously said no to because I got a sense of temporary community and belonging every time I joined a new serving team. Tried extra hard to make places inclusive and expected everyone else to be working as hard on it as I was and feel the desperation like I did and got super hurt when they didn’t, oh I guess I’ll have to do it all myself then.

I’ve always struggled with the concept of hell, tbh I heard about it way too young and never had a drop of self preservation instinct in my body only didn’t want to let God down by saying no. I’ve particularly always struggled with the whole urgency motivation like I’m trying, I’m doing the best I can, I listen to people and actually speaking the gospel into their lives in a way that hits home for them (bc I was thinking about how to do this in an empathetic and understanding and autonomy respecting way from a Very Young Age like I used to attempt to evangelise on moshi monsters to get an idea) and shit, I’m like 19 years old at this stage and I’m tired. If only I could just have one last hurrah to change places with someone so they can go to heaven instead of me? Id take it. and I basically worked myself to the point of being that suicidal and kept fucking going because God made me good at science so I can save the planet and end world hunger, and I had this conviction to contextualise (this is what we learned at afes btw) the gospel to really be real to queer folk and indigenous folk and other people of colour and marginalised people (it’s easy to see oppression with my background and my neurotype tbh) and maybe I could make myself suffer now bc God wasn’t gonna let me do that for eternity? anyway eventually left afes bc I was being so stretched and getting so isolated and the work I was doing there wasn’t achieving any of these things and I realised if I stayed I might end up dead and I wasn’t ready to go to heaven yet when my work wasn’t done. or at least so constantly dysregulated I wouldn’t be as able to be kind to others and show them the gospel.

around this time I’m also putting together a pretty comprehensive framework for how to actually solve global problems in a productive way, I’ve unpacked the pride in a lot of Christian mission projects and how they often were a feel good thing but not actually respectful or effective and I’d come up with literally hundreds of ideas for projects I could do to actually help, none of which I obviously had time for I think I was working up to 3 jobs while studying and serving in church and doing my hobbies that kept me kind of sane as well? which was discouraging to say the least, driving a kind of rageful resentment. Around that time I also discover PDA and my whole life makes sense, I start on my adhd meds which I had to jump through a million hoops to get and realise maybe I can finish uni.

a pda framework as I dive more into that and how to be actually neurodivergent affirming and actually recover from burnout long story short makes me realise how ableist much of our concept of sin and holiness really is and how much we need to destigmatise sin and stop using it as a way to intellectualise actual things happening in our brains and nervous systems and maybe we’d feel a lot less hopeless about it like it’s some big mystery if we actually did unpack the fear and threat responses and trauma behind it. Which we always say we will do but practically, church doenst give a space to do that bc you’re gonna be shamed. even for the people who are non affirming I’d be like, but isn’t it a logical step to someone who’s not yet been convicted to celibacy (if that’s something they think they should be) and realised this whole thing is unrealistic, not because the bible is wrong but because people think you can control your own brain by simply trying and trying again every time you fuck up as if that’s not gonna drive learned helplessness or actually traumatise you when you so desperately want to do better? Either that or drive you to be numb about it which I realised is what usually happens, there are certain sins people are blind to in every congregation and they’re actually intellectually unable to be convicted of that as sin because they’re stretched as far as they can go covering all other bases and being like ‘Christ covers that I didn’t Choose To Sin I’m trying not to even though it doesn’t really work’ like I’m a solutions person. if something isn’t working we’re gonna think of a new method and suddenly I understand how my brain works and those of so many others especially those who feel marginalised by the church!

and so long story short when I eventually had to quit what I was doing at church because someone cared enough to realise I hadn’t been doing well for years I was like I’m gonna follow this urge of the Spirit or simply my own head and desire for true connection I often found In exvangelical spaces and hear as many experiences as possible and use it to shape my worldview and get a bunch of hope from people who yes they’ve been marginalised but the gospel is real to them. that’s my only criteria I’m not gonna judge based on theology and I’m not ever gonna think my theological takes make anyone else wrong I’m just gonna be open to listen and shape them so there isn’t any cognitive dissonance and the grace found at the cross is real and practical and doenst have weird arbitrary limits, and I’m also gonna listen to those hurt by Christianity who some might judge as being hard hearted but I know how trauma works. and I’ve been doing that ever since, gradually getting there more and more and I think the best/funniest thing is even in more conservative spaces literally everyone I still talk to has been super encouraging of it and if we have any disagreements they’re pretty minor compared to the fact that we all believe the gospel is for everyone and we all wanna invest in social justice too (which makes me question how conservative those spaces ever were tbh). like there’s def parts of my story I won’t always tell but I feel like I come with a perspective people respect these days no matter where I am, and that’s nice in contrast to being that weird kid trying to do adult things being told either not to worry or that I don’t understand.

So in my English class, we had to create a speech to give on a controversial or polarizing topic of our choosing. And because I am a writer and interact with fandom culture on the daily, I naturally chose Art censorship. I wanted other people on here to see it, because I think it might be one of the greatest (and most important) things I've written.

So, here it is. Feel free to critique and comment on it however you like:

Art is defined as, “the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination.” This includes not only paintings, drawings, and sculptures. But also music, books, movies. It has always been a part of our lives, an unconscious expression of society and culture. Art is a part of the world. After all, Demetri Martin once said, “The Earth without Art is just ‘Eh.’” I don’t know about you, but I do not want to live on a planet called Eh. Unfortunately, censorship threatens to destroy the ability to freely create. There has been a rise in social awareness and social justice movements, with it talk of censorship. And most times, this stems from a good place. Wanting to protect people from the triggering ideas contained in art. And while I can understand this desire, I believe this is also dangerous. To censor art—especially “heavy” art—is to stifle an artist's creativity, is to dampen the social benefits art offers, is to squander the rights awarded to us as a free society. Censorship of art is simply wrong.

In school, we grow up being taught a wide variety of skills. Math, reading, history. All of these are important, don’t get me wrong. But I think the most important thing we’re taught is the ability to create. Creation is a very cathartic activity, with several benefits specifically for teens. The Polaris Teen Center’s article titled, “Five Therapeutic Benefits of Art Programs for Teenagers” they state that, “By stimulating the mind through artistic engagement, teens can create something that they can tangibly call their own. This helps regain the sense of self-determination necessary in order to overcome other problems in their life.” Creation, art, is taking all the emotions inside of you and putting them to positive use. Censorship, though, threatens to take away this powerful form of expression. By censoring what topics an artist can and cannot cover, we are taking away the ability to be express freely. They now have to color inside the lines. So instead of focusing on the art itself, the emotional reflection that comes with it? They’ll be focused on following guidelines. Focused on making sure their creations do not offend or fall outside of the set rule society has shoved down their throats. They will loose the therapeutic effect of art to an ideology that seeks to corrupt it. 

Art, and symbols, have long been used to promote progress. To move our society forward. It has been an especially big part in activism movements. We all remember the iconic raised fist used by the Black Lives Matter movement from twenty-twenty. There’s also Picasso's famous painting, the “Guernica.” SmartHistory, a site dedicated to art and its history had this to say about Picassos painting: “Picasso expressed his outrage against war with Guernica, his enormous mural-sized painting displayed to millions of visitors at the Paris World’s Fair.” It was his outlet for his frustrations, a way to show people the horrors that had occurred. A form of protest in it’s own right. As William Shakespeare once said, “brevity is the soul of wit.” You can get your message across with few words and in this case, none at all. While art is another way to protest, censorship is a way to shut down said protests. It has long been a tactic used to quiet the shouts and screams of the powerless to the powerful. By striking speeches from records, by deleting posts detailing injustices. By shutting down protests that where by all means actually peaceful. That is censorship, and that is how censorship fights progress, fights protest. Censorship of art is censorship of anger. And this hinders our progress. 

Now, let me pose a question. Who decides? Who decides what should or shouldn’t be allowed? Who decides what is offensive? You may think it’s simple, just follow the direction the currents of society flow. And I’m sure we all have things we want banned, symbols that are offensive, art that is hurtful. But once we cross that line, there’s no going back. Someday it could be your favorite singer. Headlines: Cardi B Music Banned for explicit language, Taylor Swift Removed for ‘romanticizing toxic relationships.’ Ridiculous, right? But that’s where censorship eventually leads. Once you cross that line, you can’t go back. All art in America is protected under the First Amendment. Under free speech. Author of the article, “Artistic Repression in America” writes, “If we are disturbed by images of violence or sex--or anything else--we can change the channel, turn off the TV, or decline to go to certain movies or museum exhibits. We can also exercise our own free speech rights by voicing our objections to forms of expression we don't like.” I have a right to create it, and you have a right to hate it. And higher authorities are not allowed to meddle. 

And so, Roger Scruton once said, “Art and music shine a light of meaning on ordinary life, and through them we are able to confront the things that trouble us and to find consolation and peace in their presence.” A lot of the time, art is going to make you uncomfortable. But it is that discomfort that will spark conversation. Art is going to even make you angry sometimes. Good. That is the job of an artist, to illicit strong emotional responses from their audience. You cannot hide everything that makes you uncomfortable. You cannot tear down every painting that depicts gore and violence, cancel every show or movie that touches on something you believe should be untouchable. You cannot torch every disagreeable book or smash every controversial statue. You cannot censor all art that makes you feel, because then what is left? In the words of Demetri Martin, “Just Eh.”

If anyone out there (I saw your tags Vi @isvisomewhere) is interested in knowing how I choose the colors for each of my Our Skyy 2 episode edits, here’s the story:

So, to put it simply, I just know. Sounds silly? Yeah, kind of is. But each episode has those 1-2 scenes that get stuck in my head and reveal the color to me. It’s that easy! (Or hard. Some episodes are easier than others to place. Some episodes have several colors I could use but then one color just takes the crown, so to speak.)

Now, after several of these edits, I also try to consider what colors I have already used and which ones still remain unseen. I hope to create variety, and so far, I think I’ve managed to accomplish that. I also enjoy naming the episodes, but I’ll ramble about that separately at the end of this. 

Listing the episodes and the reasons for my color choices, mostly to my own amusement:

Episodes 1 & 2: Both the Never Let Me Go episodes come down to Palm’s outfits in the old times. In the first episode, he wears this olive green shirt when he first wakes up as the lord and I adored that color so I decided to use it. It also seemed to fit the overall greenery in many of the other scenes, and making the green turn more towards yellow fit well with the bathroom scene (which, despite being kind of funny, looked very pretty imo). 

The second color comes down to the shirt Palm wears when he comes to sneak a peek at Nueng's English lessons to the servants. I loved the darker shade of pink on his shirt, so I searched for a red color close to that and came across burgundy. It felt fitting when the scene with Phum/Petch and his merchant crush made me see pink too. (I wish I could’ve used Nueng’s stunning umbrella scene in this edit, and I first thought I would take the red from there just because, but eventually left it out.)

Episodes 3 & 4:

Star in My Mind as a show itself is very blue coded for me, so that was one of the colors I had in my head when I first went into these episodes. But the things is, I am generally trying to pick colors that are “surprising” considering these shows and their common color themes (i.e. picking green and pink/red for NLMG instead of orange/brown or yellow), but this first episode didn’t give me much to work with, sadly. 

The cinematography in SIMM is a lot more simple than it is, let’s say, in Vice Versa where this whole edit series idea stems from, so I gave in to the blue. Another color I considered beside it was yellow (for the continuous sunflower symbolism and the sunflower apearing in the first episode occasionally), but eventually the scene with Daonuea on the balcony with the night sky behind him (the first pic) made the choice for me. The duvet on KluenDao’s joined bed also played its part.

The other color for them being orange was a funny one tbh. I knew I wanted to include the scene of Daonuea walking across the floor with the rose petals, but refused to pick red just because of that. Instead, the tent in which Kluen and Dao spend their night, happened to gift orange to me. There’s literally just a tiny streak of orange in the picture of Dao’s face where he’s looking up at Kluen, but my brain still got stuck on that. The tent refused to leave me, and so I made it fit. Eventually, I think orange was a good choice and made these episodes a bit moe interesting. 

Episodes 5 & 6:

Knowing The Eclipse was very dark themed and seemed to lean towards black (& white?) a lot, I decided to not use those colors for these episodes. Thankfully, these episodes were extra colorful instead and offered me several options. After using orange for the previous set, it felt a bit silly but also funny to use yellow for episode 5, but I couldn’t get that old train station(?) with the bright yellow station building out of my head. It was just so beautiful I knew I wanted to include it, and I feel like yellow worked very well for this show. (My personal favorite out of all the images I’ve edited for these sets until now is still the second pic in this edit btw. I love Ayan in his country outfit, with his motorbike, looking over the lake.)  Pine seemed to come for me from every direction while watching the second episode of The Eclipse. I first noticed the color in Thua’s shirt, which appears in two of the pics too. Another scene that played its part was Teacher Sani sitting in the café, surrounded by this delicate, ligh blue. One more player were the lights in the bar they celebrate Akk’s birthday and Wat’s award in, as it already colored Ayan’s hair with this blue green. All this combined, I decided I would create a gradient where it goes from blue to green, varying in darkness and intensity. (I hope that in one of the last six edits, I get to use another gradient like this to balance it out.)

Episodes 7 & 8:

Tbh I did not expect Vice Versa to continue with the color name titles for the episodes in Our Skyy 2. Everyone has been saying they would, but I never truly trusted that. I figured that as NLMG left out the episode titles seen in the original series, Vice Versa would follow the same rules. Relying on this, I had kind of already decided I would bend these episodes to my will and use two colors I associate with VV the most: pink and purple. (Because with this show, I would absolutely be sentimental about colors.) 

When we got the color titles after all, this plan flew out the window. It made choosing the colors a lot easier, but also allowed me to play around with this concept a little. I strictly followed the same pattern while making my original VV episode edits (until the last episode which was special), so I decided these two would be wilder. The first episode took the title very literally – the pink is “fading” throughout the frames. Which means only certain parts of the images kept the color and others I turned to gray. In the last image, the pink is so light you can barely see it.  

Multi color then made me think about rainbows and color mixes. I generally love gifsets where gifmakers play around with a show’s own color palettes and especially contrasting colors. I thought this could maybe work with the colors turning into different gradients for each picture. I started looking for scenes that would fit that idea. I first decided on the pink/green in the bathtub scene, then the obvious blue/yellow as Puen and Talay sit outside the house after Talay’s outburst to Jigsaw. The final beach scene was also obviously purple/yellow, and the rest just came from there. This one was a more of a challenge than the others, but rightfully so. I wasn’t even mad. 

Episodes 9 & 10:

From previous experience, I knew My School President was going to be filled with colors. These people are young, and I love how all of their outfits and even the environments show that. Everything is bursting with color and the cinematography is so nice. I love how the friendgroup even has matching outfits most of the time, or at least the color scheme is very pleasing to the eye. 

Black turned out to be my first color choice for this show only because of two very specific moments: 1) Tinn in his black tuxedo during their ballroom dance and 2) Gun in his dark blue sweatshirt when he and Tinn are sleeping together in Gun’s house. Before these two scenes I had considered yellow again very seriously as yellow is very much Tinn’s and so Lion’s color, but tbh I am very happy with black. It gave this show a very different feeling, which fits well with the idea of choosing surprising colors.  The second episode was a lot more complicated, the hardest one so far. It took some thinking to actually come up with a color. Usually, one or two options will appear in my head while I’m watching the episode, but this time I drew blank. I was wondering if I should just take the obvious one and go with green (or something like jade) because of their sport uniforms, but I felt against it. 

Then it clicked. There was a lot of yellow and blue in this episode – and somehow my head decided copper was both the name and the color to go for. It appears a lot in the brick walls of the surrounding buildings plus I loved changing the yellow behind Lion’s practice room into this orange hue. It makes the whole scene look super soft. I am very happy, even if I first thought maybe this was going to be too close to the orange I already used.

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As we’re not done with this series quite yet, I’ll probably add my thoughts on the rest of the episodes here too so I can have everything in the same post. Feel free to check back on this post occasionally if you’re interested!

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And lastly, a couple of words on the episode titles:

Picking those has been its own type of journey. I love the names in Vice Versa as each one seems very fitting for both the color and the episode itself. I wanted to continue that “tradition”, but instead of choosing already existing color names like VV did, I wanted to make up my own that would feel like real color names.  

These names had to feel unique to the episodes they are representing. So I tried to pick up central themes or any specific detail that were important to these different shows and their two episodes. It helps when I’ve watched all of these before and know what is significant to the characters, because even in these “special episodes” they haven’t strayed too far from those. 

I don’t know how well I’ve managed with the naming overall so far but I’ve seen some nice tags saying they like the names a lot. So thank you! I’m happy if these edits have brought some joy to the people following this insane journey with me. 

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P.S. Each couple’s “last” episode includes my thanks to the pairing through something important they have taught us or given us/each other. I first thought I would just include the same thanks to each pair but then wanted it to be more specific. I’m attached to all of them in some way, so the thank yous have been my personal goodbyes to them ♥

King of Hearts ♥️♣️♦️♠️

Idk why I’m nervous to post this lol maybe because this is a more personal UPG experience with me and Loki. This might be a tad lengthy btw.

I know this is something I don't have to share, but lately I've been reflecting on it and realize just how much of a difference Loki has made within this semi-traumatic situation I’ve dealt with most of my life. So I want to share this beautiful thing. Beautiful to me anyway. And through several different methods of divination, he's assured me he's okay with me doing so ♥️

TW: mentions of heart surgery, hospitals, panic attacks

When I was a kid my father had multiple bypass heart surgery and valve replacement, and has been in and out of the hospital ever since for various reasons including heart stuff. To put it simply: over the years, I had developed a strong aversion to heartbeats. For example, if I gave someone a hug or was in someone’s arms with my head resting on their chest, I hated- absolutely hated -hearing their heart. Or even when I put in ear plugs and could hear my own. I had it in my head that I would suddenly hear it stop. A fear that stemmed from being able to hear my father’s artificial valve tick within his chest just by standing next to him, as well as hearing the beeping of hospital machines monitoring his vitals, fearing I would suddenly hear the ticking and beeps no more. I never told anybody this, probably because I thought I might offend someone. Like, “Here let me adjust my position against you, I don’t wanna hear your heart, sorry.” sounded a little harsh to me 😂 so I never said anything. I was probably worrying about that more than I needed to tbh.

Fast forward to the past couple years. Something I didn’t expect to happen at all 🫠

Loki, being clever without even trying, ever so slowly began showing me a new perspective on heartbeats.

Not long after He came into my life, I learned about the tale of Loki eating the heart of Gullveig, and subsequently would notice other devotees associating beautiful artworks of anatomical hearts with him as well. And I simply thought, “Awe, that’s nice.” And nothing more. Lol, since then I’ve joked with him sometimes that he surely is a vampire, which I feel he secretly enjoys 🤭

Then came the tale of how Loki (as Vé) may have contributed in human creation by giving “..color to the human complexion.” Blood. And my perspective shifted more, even softened a bit.

It wasn’t until six months ago that Loki began showing how fond he was of heartbeats (again, UPG of my aspect of him).

There were many different ways in which he showed his love of hearts; the sound, the feeling, its power, its effects, and yes, even its fragility- the part that I feared most. I won’t go into detail about how those walls of fear came down brick by brick, as most of them were in private moments of various forms of affection…but I will say that my eyes now do soften at the mention of hearts. And at the sound of them. Something I never thought would become untainted. Because He was in all of it. I can now see hearts through his eyes. And no longer do they appear to me as a frightening, scheming creature inside of our bodies waiting to carry out our demise. I am so grateful and joyous for that ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I still hear my father’s valve tick when I’m next to him and it’s quiet enough; I'm still prone to panic attacks where my bpm goes to 150 for fifteen minutes to an hour, I'm still prone to PVCs when I lose too much potassium or haven't slept well- all of which are now few and far between -but the feelings of dread and paranoia that plague me for days after something like that happens has finally tapered off. Replaced with fascination and appreciation for this muscle that keeps me alive.

God of Transformations, my King of Hearts, thank you for your patience in allowing me to see a dark part of my mind flash with vibrancy like a gem in the light. It took nearly thirty years, but we're here ✨🫀

Artist profile: rybrig on DeviantArt

hi kiri I intend to make you type so many words. for our ask game I’m starting with xicheng because I have my share of opinions

ask me about a ship and I'll give my opinions + classify them as does / doesn't make sense, does / doesn't compel me oh boy. my askbox has never been this full you guys…! really fun all of you tho. some I’ve got thoughts on some I haven’t really considered etc. and very impressively: no dupes!

also. words have been written. to the point that I’m putting this under a readmore lmao. up top apology for the incoherence i do just ramble

sooo xicheng. until recently I did not know the ao3 stats for this ship were. that big? don't feel like dangling the classification like bait so I'll start by saying: doesn’t make sense, doesn't compel me. now I will take way too many words to explain exactly why I feel that way!

as a person I am first and foremost a jiang cheng x happiness shipper. kind of. I never want it to be easy for him. because I’m kind of a bastard. so I've actually read a bit of fic with jc in a few different ships, some of which have been xicheng. and there's like, a few of those fics that have portrayed as aspect of jiang cheng like... so sensitively and in a way that made me Feel Things. so I'll always love them for that. my issue is that I just feel like... in the case of these, lan xichen could often be anyone for me. i read mdzs like... pre-untamed, and lan xichen's like... idk. I liked his role in the story but he didn't super compel me? so some of my issues with xicheng stem from the fact that I've simply never thought about lan xichen that much, and I'm not really invested in exploring his character. I think they could have some compelling things because they have a variety of things on their ends that don't get fully resolved, by pure virtue of 1) existing in mdzs 2) being side characters. also if jiang cheng's visiting gusu lan it puts him in proximity of wei wuxian which does promise for interesting interactions. what sours me on xicheng is... like I've said, I think some fics can make it work enough for me. but I feel like a large motivator of the fic is just... "oh look, wei wuxian's got a brother, and so does lan wangji! let's ship them!" even though they're totally different people? and as a consequence these two tend to get sanded down into often reductive portrayals. lot of pair the spares energy.

also kind of on the subject... I think I just don't really like.... ships with jiang cheng? in general? well my tolerance actually varies but I think especially when they take place post-canon (which the xicheng I've read often does) it doesn't sit right with me. I think it’s because jiang cheng’s not in… dire straits post-canon, but he’s not really happy. like he got told about the golden core thing but he’s unable to say the thing back about why he ran off like that in the first place. and I don’t like post-canon ships where it’s like. oh… jiang cheng, you poor thing. you shall be fixed by love. so I think I’m softer on ships that deal with things that happen before everything goes to shit for this reason. like I’ve not watched a lot of the show, but him and wen qing could be fun especially since that makes the golden core thing way more fucked up. with sangcheng they were like. friends in canon and stuff and then it seems they’ve gotten more distant. with zhancheng I mean like. there’s that tension and those years where wei wuxian wasn’t around and they were carrying their separate griefs. but with xicheng I feel like they don’t have anything super interesting in canon, which makes their outsized popularity a bit startling to me.

this is like. deeply personal and is kind of petty but. as someone who has wandered into the jiang cheng tags a couple times. man. people really hate that guy. and also hate people who like him. at least the couple times I looked there was just a lot of stuff arguing about like. oh jiang cheng sucks actually he’s the worst and all his fans are delusional for liking him and they’re ignoring his Crimes. he’s a uniquely selfish character who is unable to express or feel love. I’m not saying this is everyone, it’s just… the vibe I got from quite a few posts. this was also years ago. maybe things are calmer. I’m definitely biased because jiang cheng has always been my favorite character, so of course I love him. but this isn’t a defense post of him. either you like him or you don’t. just don’t bother me. anyways, the thing about “love” has always stuck with me, because I think that jiang cheng so obviously expresses love. like… the entire way he feels about wei wuxian! that’s his brother! idk. if you can’t see that you’ve lost me. now do I think jiang cheng communicates any of his feelings well ever No.

but about the love thing. when I read romantic fics involving jiang cheng post-canon, intentionally or not, a lot of what I read had this angle of almost like… look how capable of love jiang cheng is. and I’m like. well jiang cheng already loves people. it may not have gone perfectly or been so beautiful but that doesn’t make it non-existent. if he loves selfishly or awkwardly or without communicating it, it doesn’t mean that the love doesn’t exist. I think I’m stumbling into incoherence here… but my favorite headcanon for jiang cheng is probably one where he’s aromantic and asexual, because to me it affirms this feeling of like. romantic love is not some kind of absolution. and the “love” that he feels isn’t any lesser than whatever romance is going around. many different ways to be aroace ofc but this is how I see it for him. a lot of this is probably also influenced by the fact that I’m writing a fic with aroace jiang cheng at this present moment haha. as you might imagine, having this headcanon means that I tend to be neutral on most jiang cheng ships! I think to really grab me you’d have to make it interesting on the other end, so the character’s not just a sounding board for jiang cheng’s issues and vice versa, which sort of sums up my problems with xicheng. even the xicheng fics I read and liked were like… great, I’m glad you’re treating these two like real characters and not wangxian to the left. however a lot of this fic is just like. wow jiang cheng / lan xichen you’ve had it hard. Here’s a character who will comfort you and support you. and that’s nice in a way, but not compelling as a ship, yknow? so that’s the sum up of my thoughts. I’m on the scale of neutral-dislike, but if there’s a particularly good portrayal of jiang cheng I’d probably read it.

Ranting bout Ai cuz I fucking hate it.

I've been thinking about AI recently cause of an essay I had to write about what should be considered when creating AI. The articles I was assigned to read didn't say a single bad thing about it. It praised AI, calling it intelligent, the future, blah blah blah. Yeah, AI may be smart, but it's not human. I see people using AI art and AI bots like character AI and I don't understand. Those bots will never have the soul, the work, the toil put into generating those stories and "art" that work made by people have. Artisans spend years, decades of their lives toiling over their work, improving bit by bit, learning new techniques to help them improve, getting tips and tricks from those who've been doing it longer than them and know how to make it easier and to help. Will AI ever replicate that? AI is just green lines of code on a digital screen. I'm not saying it's easy to make AI, but that's what it is. It will never replicate the bonds, communities, and pride that stem from someone simply being interested in something and wanting to learn more. AI is constantly learning, but what bonds does it make? Who does it talk to? Movies and stories made by AI won't have the passion put into it like those made by humans. Throughout humanity one of the things we have held close and passed down is art and creating things. It's human to create, the earliest humans created, who we are today stems from their creativity and their communities and their bonds with each other, not artificial voices and stolen data. Using AI to create these is taking the traditions we held dear to our hearts for thousands of years and stripping it down to the click of a button. Our future is bland and soulless if we actually let AI do these things. Our future is ours to write, it is in our hands. Not the digital hands of a pixel screen masking green lines of code. Using AI to create is taking what makes us human and mutilating it. Our creativity is not a lamb for the slaughter, it is not to be given away so lightly. It may be cheaper, it may "look nice", it may be fast, but that takes away everything that makes art and storytelling art and storytelling. All those years mathematicians, artists, writers, screenwriters, scientists, medical staff, etc have put into being good at what they are is being thrown right out the window because of AI being able to do what they spent their lives learning with the click of a button. This is the end of humanity. Not as a species, but as who we are. AI can never replicate the feeling of being praised by someone you look up to because they think the art or story or anything you made is good. AI is not human. Stop letting it pretend to be human.

Macau Theerapanyakul - a character study (pt. 6)

safety, security and sleep - the minor family's hierarchy of needs

ft. vegaspete

this meta post is brought to you by this post by ta (macau's actor) as i realised 2/4 appearances of macau, we see him sleeping.

first things first, let me introduce to you maslow's hierarchy of needs. maslow was this old guy who made a pyramid about the needs that dictate human behaviour (shown below).

if we were to apply the hierarchy to the members of the minor family (minor family being macau, pete and vegas cuz fuck gun, ain't none of my homies respect gun), it becomes quite obvious that their psychological needs aren't being met, that being love, intimacy and self-esteem. much of this lack of satisfaction stems from poor parental father figures and absent mothers. pete is probably the furthest up the hierarchy as it appears being a bodyguard offers him his basic needs. he also seems to have stable relationships with arm, pol and porsche. whether pete feels respected and accomplished as a bodyguard is a question for him to answer, but personally, i don't think he does. the ridigity of his position is exactly what is stopping him from reaching self-actualisation as pete has been made to serve for the majority of his life and has never managed to branch out and actually find what fulfills himself.

vegas, our favourite pathetic problem child, is just a mess of loneliness and self-esteem issues. his father is an abusive piece of shit and whilst he may have a positive relationship with macau, there is still a level of responsibilty and burden he carries as an older sibling. he's constantly belittled by his father and the wider mafia society, recognised as secondary to kinn and the major family. being compared like that your whole life and having every single motivation dervied from the sole goal of usurping your older cousin but not being able to draws away from vegas' own needs in forming relationships on his own that aren't purely advantageous or transactional. it also takes away from vegas' ability to base his sense of self-worth on the things he's accompished and instead, he bases it on the things kinn's accomplished.

ta explains that macau has low self esteem in his character story, that he feels mediocre and average. and this can easily be inferred from his age compared to the other members of his family as well as being 1) in the minor family and 2) being the second son of the minor family. macau has no position worthy of anything to give him a sense of self-worth and confidence. other than his relationship with vegas, macau has zero bitches (he could have porchay if beoncloud weren't hellbent on killing off or uncanonizing ghostships) and again, his father is gun lmao. pete and vegas are older, and are trained in arms and combat. they are able to defend themselves. macau on the other hand, doesn't appear to be as skilled, as evidenced by when he tried to throw hands at porsche and immediately fell into the pond like the bitch baby he is, so perhaps he doesn't satisfy the safety needs to an extent.

i argue that the fractured positioning of each of the minor family at various stages of the hierarchy stunts each of them in reaching self-actualisation. in order to break through and move up in the pyramid, requires a breaking down of the rigid pathways that have landed them where they are and are stimultaneously hindering them from going further. in doing so, they must return to meeting their basic needs, take a step back to take three steps forward.

the running theme of food between vegaspete begin with pete rejecting or resisting vegas' attempts at feeding him because he understands that food to vegas is a means of submission and manipulation. but slowly they both begin to break down each other's preconceptions of their needs, vegas with his father and pete with his expectations of perfection and duty. vegas actually puts effort into cooking for pete for no reason simply than to feed pete (vegas pulls the ultimate give your child a plate of cut fruit after destroying their livelihoods power move) and pete eats as soon as he realises vegas isn't trying to get anything out of him (and that it's not poisoned lol). once this basic need of food is met, they ascend the hierarchy almost immediately, pete potentially reaches self-actualisation by way of first discovering the darkness that's been dormant within him until vegas manages to sink his claws in and pull it to the surface, and second, giving into that dark desire. vegas has someone that understands him, or is at least trying to. someone who chooses him and is willing to stay with him and comfort him. someone who sees him as his own person rather than a shadow to kinn. this food will sustain them as they sustain each other.

but old habits die hard. they go back to their old ways, their own understanding of needs and methods of achieving them. vegas still seeks the approval of his father, still craves that intimacy, and believes beating kinn will satisfy his self-esteem needs. pete goes back to the major family because he believes in duty and loyalty, his self-esteem is derived from serving others at the expense of suffocating himself and his individuality/desires inside that damn suit.

until they meet again by that poolside. both broken and desperate, ready to tear it all down and start all over once again at the bottom - "because i'm hungry"

for macau, we have him meeting the basic need of 'rest'. macau is trying to keep up with the rest of the family, in being a force of power, respect and prestige. in meeting the expectations of his father. the compound he lives in is not a home, it's a institution where people come and go. it's a place where people are armed to the teeth and there's a torture dungeon in the basement. it's a place where his father stalks the halls, turning his ring inwards and macau can only hope he doesn't stop outside his door. macau hears the screaming, the pleading, the gunfire, the beatings. macau hears everything. he's not safe here. macau probably gets barely any sleep in the compound and even if he does, it's riddled with nightmares and being awoken by the slightest of sounds. he only seems to manage to rest in the presence of his brother, someone who can fulfill his love/affection needs and in places of security and safety, such as the temple and hospital.

the epilogue scene in ep 14 shows another restart for the minor family. pete draws back the blind to reveal sunlight, bathing the room in light and warmth. pete mentions he bought food for a sleeping macau. pete reassures vegas that even if he doesn't have anything left, his heart wants vegas, just vegas. vegas tells pete that he is his most important person. macau gains a new friend/brother in the form of pete and welcomes pete into the family. the big pile on at the ends shows them surrounded by people who allow them to be themselves, who love them and who will protect them. they are gifted with a promising new start - a chance to climb the hierarchy together and with each other.

[Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7]