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nullset2 · 3 years

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Mother 3 - An In-depth Critique and Review

Ah, Mother 3, how I love you so!

The game which with which I forwent all possible aspirations to healthily integate into normal High School society: imagine walking into a party, people are drinking and being cool, and you ask them if they have ever played a very underground, very deep RPG only released in Japan called "Mother".

Yeah! I know! It's like you're asking to be bullied, and I realized it too late.

But anyway!

Mother 3 is one of the most important games you could ever play --alas, if only it wasn't near impossible to obtain it.

Yet, perhaps this adds to its allure and to the power of its narrative --a narrative which, by the way, I'm convinced is the very actual reason why it will never release formally in the United States.

As time has passed, I've actually become more and more impressed about how relevant the game is to the socioeconomic reality that we are in nowadays. I'm impressed that Shigesato Itoi had all of this in his mind's eye as early as 1996, and that the story was already written down in 1999!

Right now it's been 14 years since it's release on the GBA, but I think that the game is a timeless classic and warrants a playthrough now more than ever. Wanna know why?

Wanna find out?

Part 1. "A Japanese Copywriter's Americana"

The year is 1989 and a Japanese Copywriter --somebody who writes "Catch Copies", which are a sort of a long-form slogan that is very common in Japanese pop culture to advertise)-- by the name of Shigesato Itoi became a fan of the Dragon Quest series of RPGs, which are massively popular in Japan, even to this day. He also loved video games: he's asthmatic, so he recalls only being able to sleep sitting up as a child, and having to occupy his lonely time through asthma attacks playing video games, since he had to sit up and had nothing else to do at night.

His love of RPGs would linger in his mind until 1989 when he had an opportunity to meet with Hiroshi Yamauchi and Shigeru Miyamoto and was offered the opportunity to develop a video game with Nintendo. Harkening back to the endless hours he poured into Dragon Quest, his concept eventually took form by deriving from it. He called the story "MOTHER", as a reference to John Lennon's "Mother", since he is a very hardcore fan of The Beatles. The games have tons of obvious influence by old American films and comics, like ET and Peanuts, which he also loved very much.

For MOTHER, he wanted to explicitly go against the grain, by designing an RPG without "Swords and Magic", which stereotypically most RPGs follow, even from things as minor as to design a protagonist who was weak and vulnerable, asthmatic and without a Father Figure, yet, still heroic through much toil --which reflects Ninten from the original MOTHER for the famicom.

Miyamoto, in his usual taskmaster persona, arranged a team to work with Itoi for the creation of the RPG, by bringing in people from HAL laboratory and APE Inc, and thus MOTHER was born to great Japanese Acclaim. A game which took many risks in its genre, such as eschewing the idea of a separate overworld from navigation in the towns, the subject matter, the movement system and many other things which made it quite Unique. It was so popular that soon after the first project was released, MOTHER 2 started development, involving people from what's currently known as Game Freak and HAL Labs.

MOTHER 2 is a very unique game because it was the very first time that the series attempted to make an incursion in the Americas. Releasing in a big flamboyant flashy box, with a strategy guide and a bunch of goodies included, MOTHER 2 released as Earthbound in the states, a bigger and better version of the vision of the first game. Better graphics, Beatles references, sampled audio, pop culture cornucopia, it's all here and then some!

Famous for its role in technically driving the game, Satoru Iwata, ex-CEO and software developer for Nintendo,7 of Wii acclaim, helped the game meet its 1996 release date. It is known that the original version of the game ran into deep technical issues which the original dev team was not able to overcome. Once Satoru Iwata got involved, the game was reworked to a viable version and released to much critical acclaim. In his own words, he proposed to rewrite the tech that powered the main game. It was a matter of either continuing with the current code and be done in two years, or redoing everything and being done in six months under his vision, he said.

No matter its strong promotion from Nintendo, the marketing got botched, and the game paled compared to the flashy and bombastic magical RPGs of its era, like Final Fantasy VI, Super Mario RPG and Chrono Trigger of all things. So, Earthbound faced a very bad destiny in the states, by releasing to low acclaim, bad review scores and terrible sales numbers --even though it eventually reached Cult Classic status, due to its pure hearted nature, its hallucinogenic themes and characters, and its fantastic spirit over all.

And this game is worthy of discussion by itself a whole bunch because of the ripple effects it had in video game culture in the Western world. Enter starmen dot net. To this date, the epicenter of discussion for everything related to the MOTHER series. There you had me as early as 2002, browsing a half-rendered version of starmen dot net in a dingy computer in some dingy internet cafe in some shitty neighborhood in Mexico, trying to be a part of the discussion and the hype.

To this date, I consider starmen dot net as the non-plus-ultra case for how passionate Internet fan cultures can become.

Flat out, no other fandom has ever came close to the level of dedication, attention to detail and passion to tribute the original creation around which its fans congregate. A massive amount of fan paraphernalia has come out of starmen dot net --yes, even Undertale, 2015 indie darling RPG thing, originally got started on the Starmen dot net forums. People married and even started large, commercially viable enterprises, such as Fangamer.net, the firm which publishes Undertale, from starmen dot net.

...and then... silence...

After Earthbound's 1995 release, we enter a ten year hiatus for the series.

Even though both MOTHER games were incredibly popular in Japan, HAL Laboratory and APE Inc. weren't able to successfully make a jump onto the third dimension for the series come the Nintendo 64 era. They had a demo come the infamous Spaceworld 96, where a bunch of pre-release games for the then called "Ultra 64", which was the codename for the Nintendo 64, were showcased. And lo and behold, we have a sequel to Mother coming out, called Mother 3, the ROM for which has never been found by the way.

I'd love to get a look at the materials in that ROM.

The scarce footage we have available from it exhibits some of the elements we ended up seeing in the final released version of the game, like some of the original music like the Mozart ghost theme, and the DCMC section, albeit in a more primitive low poly way. It is known that both studios weren't very proficient at 3d Game development yet, which was still nascent. This together with other factors, such as the fact that at some point development was moved onto the unreleased-in-America, unpopular 64DD addon, undisclosed factors dropped the game into development hell, which ultimately led to its cancellation in the year 2000.

Plenty of mystery surrounded the now defunct project, to the dismay of a bunch of passionate fans in Starmen.net and elsewhere online. However, it turned out that the valiant effort of the fans, who made a huge amount of effort to campaign for the revival of the series, even mailing fanmail, fanart and other materials to the Itoi Shinbun offices in Japan (a titanical task in the world of the early 2000s).

Fast forward to 2003, and the Game Boy Advance, the little portable console that could, was in its Apex. Due to Satoru Iwata's campaining, it was announced that development on MOTHER 3 would be restarted, this time in 2D, for the gameboy advance. Much anticipation in Starmen.net followed this announcement, since it finally validated its efforts...

Come 2006, once the console was well into its end-of-life, with small nudges to play the game on a Gameboy player if possible, perhaps to try to follow suit with its predecessors, the sequel finally released to much acclaim. But what did Shigesato Itoi have in store for everyone all along? What kind of beast had just been unleashed onto the World?

Part 2. "Of Monkeys and Men"

Mother 3 follows the story of a young boy, Lucas, in a multi-chapter structure, which is novel for the series but not unheard of in the RPG genre. Besides this, the RPG plays very similar to your usual JRPG fare, and basically uses the Ultimately polished version of the MOTHER series' mechanics, groovy backgrounds and all.

The first three chapters of the game follow the perspective of different characters residing in Tazmilly Village as the plot of the game unfolds. The plot is centered around the residents of a peaceful town in an Island in an unspecified location, Nowhere Islands, which in my opinion is an allegory both of Japan and America, moreover with the fact that the game of the logo very clearly has a rising sun covered in metal, in a logo that's an amalgam of two different things which don't match, a subtle reference to the game's undertones to come.

From these residents we come to know the daily lives of a particular family: Flint, a farmer; Hinawa, his wife (a name in reference to Sunflowers, Himawari, her favorite flower), and their twin children, Lucas and Claus.

The game begins in the midst of their idyllic life in the mountains visiting Lucas' grandfather Alec, and playing around with meek dinosaurs which inhabit Nowhere Islands. See, in the world of Mother 3, no violence truly exists, and people have come to live peacefully with each other and nature. There's no such thing as the concept of money, Instead relying on an economy that's mostly based around bartering and hospitality.

However, everyone's lives veer into turmoil once strange alien beings invade, the Pigmask army, an army of big, fat and slovenly creatures dressed in pig-like attire, who seem to have a vast amount of technology and resources at their disposal yet aim for Nowhere Islands for colonization.

The Pigmasks have an as-of-yet unnamed leader, who is demanding them to make everything in the World "bigger, cooler, stronger and faster", and thus they seize Nowhere Islands by force of bombings and a forest fire to use its flora and fauna. And thus, while escaping from the forest fires returning from Alec's home, Hinawa tragically gets killed by a Drago which has been modified to be aggressive against its nature through robotics implanted in it by the Pigmask army.

There's an unused cutscene in the game's ROM data where Hinawa, instead, dies by bomb explosion...

...yeah, I'm just... gonna let you process that one by yourself ;)

The Drago left a fang in the middle of her heart, which is recovered by one of the Tazmillians and provided back to Flint along with a fragment of her crimson dress. Besmirched and angry, Claus, the festier one of the twin children, sets out to try to hunt the drago and achieve revenge, but he goes missing... Flint embarks in search of Claus and to kill the drago, and thus the first chapter of the game concludes, with the implication that Claus has gone missing...

With Lucas' family torn to shreds and The Pigmasks invading Tazmilly, it seems that we're in a situation ripe for disaster.

Chapter 2 follows Duster's adventure, which runs in parallel (as every other chapter will) to other chapters' stories. Duster is the last heir in a bloodline of Cat Burglars whose abilities are not in use anymore given that Tazmilly has no more commerce or crime. However it turns out that the Pigmask invasion puts his skills back in demand to infiltrate Oshoe Castle and retrieve an artifact which the Pigmasks are after and which Duster's family is the guardian of. The nature of the artifact in Oshoe Castle is as of yet unknown, however it is implied that it is important to the fabric of Tazmilly village.

At Castle Oshoe, Duster meets a mysterious princess, Kuma-tora (which translates literally to "beartiger", in allusion to the dichotomy of her existence, since she is very... masculine in attitude and refers to herself with, yes, male pronouns, perhaps anticipating identity politics by 14 years at least), who is also after the artifact in the Castle, the Hummingbird egg. The chapter ends with the Hummingbird Egg going missing, and a mysterious peddler of goods arriving into town, while Kumatora and Duster's father realize he has gone missing...

Chapter 3 follows the adventure of a little Monkey, Salsa, which gets flown into Nowhere Islands to perform a job. This is a novelty in a town where the concept of a job doesn't exist as of yet, however, the peddler of goods is going to need a lot of hands if he wants to fullfill his vision. The peddler, Fassad (which is a tongue in cheek way to say "facade", right?) promises to all residents in Nowhere Island eternal happiness if they buy his newest product, the "Happy Box", a television-like contraption which glows with a warm light and which people are attracted to and engrossed by. For this, he introduces the concept of money and swindles people his way, convincing them that this is the way to go and promising them excitement and benefit if they listen to him.

Salsa delivers Happy boxes throughout the whole chapter, and gets shocked, even in the middle of the night, if something goes wrong with his job or tries to escape due to a shock collar implanted by Fassad. However, he runs into Kumatora and Wess, Duster's father, and they ploy together to free up Salsa and mess up Fassad's forceful takeover of Oshoe Castle, when Lucas shows up with several dragos in tow and fights against the Tank invasion of Oshoe Castle.

(A foreign animal being introduced into a new society with the express intent of exploiting it to propel forward a commercial enterprise by toil... geez, I dunno, where have I heard that one?)

From Chapter 4 Onwards the game adopts a more conventional JRPG scheme, through a timeskip which happens literally two years in the future. In this future version of Tazmilly, money (Dragon Points) and ATMs are now existent, similar to other Mother games. The game follows Lucas' adventure through a now-modernized and industrialized technologically advanced Tazmilly, trying to retrieve the "seven needles" from the island, which are soon enough shown to be a source of great power that the pigmask army is also after and to which Lucas must try to get to first due to a calling by mysterious beings which inhabit Nowhere Islands, the Magypsies. With a lot of emotional moments, such as Lucas having visions of his Mother in the middle of a field of Sunflowers, we follow the adventures of the party as they infiltrate the pigmask ranks and gather information about its nature and intentions.

It is then discovered that the pigmasks are commanded by a Masked leader, who dominates the power of thunder through a tower which was built in the middle of the town and which strikes anybody down with thunder if they overstep the Law and Order that the pigmasks have implemented. The party fights this masked leader in bouts while exploring the world and reuniting with a now missing Kumatora and Duster, who are found to have settled as employees in a Nightclub called "Club Titiboo".

Eventually, through his travels, Lucas gains an artifact from Mr. Saturn, the inhabitants of a special region in Nowhere called Saturn Valley and which has been passed down through all three Mother games, called the "Franklin Badge". When equipped, this item allows the bearer to become immune to lighting attacks and reflecting them back.

The party soon discovers that the world is inhabited by an special elder race, existant from before the creation of Tazmilly village and who know more about everything going on with the invasion, called the "Magypsies", a race of transexual, magical creatures who help Lucas discover the fact that he has Psychic abilities, also known as "PSI" within the MOTHER canon. He uses these to proceed further in his adventure to pull the seven Golden Needles, the first of which Fassad was attempting to get to, in the Courtyard of Oshoe Castle.

Lucas moves into a city called "New Pork City" in the conclusion of the game, which is a town built by the pigmasks completely in the honor of Porky, full of all sorts of Pigmask paraphernalia and amusement. It is found that the seventh and final needle is inside humongous tower in the middle of the city, the Porky tower.

Moreover, it is also revealed that the Pigmask army is led by Porky, known as "Pokey" in the American localization of Mother 2, Earthbound. Pokey is shown to have developed into a tyrant as an adult, with unlimited lust for blood and power, who used Doctor Andonuts' Phase Distorter after the events of Earthbound to mess around with the unlimited realities and dimensions it gave him access too, as a petulant child does with a video game. Once he got kicked out of every other possible reality due to the chaos he created, he found the Nowhere islands and decided to mess with it.

The climax of the game comes around Chapter 7, when the now fully-developed party runs into Leder, one of the original Tazmillian villagers, a lanky and really tall person who never spoke, not a single word, in the game until now. Leder is revealed to be the only person who knows what is the true nature of it all: tazmilly village is the remanider of civilization once the world of Mother 2 collapsed by cataclysm. A flood wiped away everything and the very last remainder of people who survived fled to nowhere islands in a big white ship and settled there, willingly forfeiting all technological advances and knowledge of the world into the Hummingbird egg, the artifact that Duster's family protected in Oshoe, a device which wiped everyone's memories, with the intent of undoing civilization and living back in a peaceful village-like state again.

It is revealed that when all seven needles are pulled, a supernatural power on which the island is built will be awakened. This supernatural power is revealed to be a Dragon by Leder, who had to be subdued by the ancestors of the Magypsies so people could live in Nowhere islands as their last resort. Whoever pulls out the needles which keep it in slumber will pass the intentions and nature of their heart onto the dragon. Thus, Lucas must be the one who pulls out the last needle instead of Porky or the masked man, in hopes that a second cataclysm like the first doesn't happen again.

After making their way through all the pigmask defenses, Lucas and Co. face off with Porky, who is now a bedridden, pathetic man. Doctor Andonuts from Mother 2, appears here, and is revealed to have developed a solution to contain Porky, the Absolutely Safe Capsule, which is a capsule which once it's sealed, it can never be opened again, trapping whoever is inside forever in a parallel universe where only them exist. The party is successful in locking Porky in the absolutely safe capsule, so, porky is not hurt by the end of mother 3, instead, he just has been locked away forever in a place far away from everyone else --perhaps, providing the ultimate form of comfort that a personality like his would seek after.

At the end of the game, Lucas and Co. face against the masked man, who is revealed to have been Claus all along, who, brainwashed with Pigmask ideologies, is hellbent on drawing out the final needle to awaken the dragon. Lucas and Claus face off in an emotive fight, where they suddenly remember each other and how friendly they used to be with each other... and moreover, their Mother. Claus strikes Lucas with thunder in a final murderous attempt before snapping out of the Pigmask brainwashing. But since he had the Franklin badge on, the attack is reflected and mortally strikes Claus, who, in his final moments, finally remembers Lucas...

The ending of the game is open ended, without showing much of what happened once the seventh dragon needle was released, so the ending of the game is subject to interpretation. However, it is heavily implied that, since Lucas was the one who released the needle, the dragon, once awakened, did not destroy Nowhere islands and instead led to a regeneration of existence.

Part 3. "A Musical-Adventure"

One of the pre-release materials for the game called it a "Musical" adventure, and I think this is completely warranted: the musical beautifulness of Hip Tanaka, famed Nintendo composer and long-time MOTHER music autheur, is joined by the expertise of Shogo Sakai, who gave the soundtrack a more mature, sample-based vibe, compared to the early two more "chiptuney" soundtracks in the series. The songs are all-time favorites of mine, and I still the soundtrack every so often given all of its mystique, its eclectiness and curiosness.

But the musical aspect to the game doesn't stop here: as an addition to the mother series, the battle system has now been changed to become rhythm-game based instead of simply turn based. If the player attacks an enemy during a battle, it is possible to strike additional damage as long as the player continues to press the attack button in rhythm to the background music in upwards of 16 hits. A full combo is incredibly effective and plays a nice fanfare if executed correctly.

As an enthusiast of rhythm games, this premise captivated me from the get-go and it works wonders, functioning as a breath of fresh air to the way overplayed mechanic of turn-based combat, which has existed since the 80s. It also provides a certain nice feeling to combat, given how every character has their personal musical instrument, with lucas being a guitar, Kumatora being an electric guitar, Duster being a bass, and Boney, Lucas' pet, being... barks.

Besides this the mechanics from Mother 2 are translated almost completely: every character has a rolling HP and PP counter, which rolls down over time as an airport display instead of immediately as in other RPGs. This may seem minor, but it adds an amazing element of strategy to the game, since it is possible to recover an ally from mortal damage if a healing PSI is executed against the clock before the counter hits 0.

Besides this you got almost completely conventional standard JRPG fare, with the character being able to move in eight directions in the overworld, with the addition of a run button, preemptive attacks and overpowered kills. Once you start facing enemies in the overworld, the first one to attack can be decided depending on the angle that the enemy was approached with: sneak up on an enemy from behind and a green swirl will display, which means that you get to attack first; if an enemy sneaks behind you, you'll see a red swirl and they will attack first instead. Otherwise, a gray swirl will display, which follows conventional order according to your stats.

Part 4. "WE WANT MOTHER 3, REGGIE!"

...Mother 3 will never be released in America.

This may be too dramatic of an opinion to have but I see no other alternative. For the most of fourteen years, Nintendo of America's head honcho Reggie Fils-Aime was requested to release and distribute the game in the americas, and for twenty years the request fell on deaf ears, citing commercial inviability, potential copyright infringment and many other reasons.

But I think the main reason that the game will never be localized is because Mother 3 was a passion project, pushed for by people with personal involvement in the series and very special sensitivities about it. Shigesato Itoi and Iwata were personal friends. The game appeals to japanese tastes and touches on issues and subjects that the American population is very politically sensitive to.

For example, in chapter 6 Lucas and the party experience a bad trip because they eat hallucinogenic mushrooms in a swamp. This leads to Lucas having visions of his family in a very bad light, with implications of violence and abuse, to try to get at the players' deepest sensitivities. Even the name of the real player is used here.

I think that it's impossible that nintendo will release a game which openly involves Hallucinogenics no matter its innocent exterior. This is the kind of subject in media that Japanese audiences usually handle better than American audiences.

Besides this, the game has very clear allusions to accelerated capitalism, anti-capitalism, colonization, slavery, transexuality and the changes and chaos they have brought onto the world, which is a tough subject to tackle in the Americas, which is still part of an ongoing, vicious culture war.

Particularly, I adore how the game even tries to convey its points through the Sound Test, of all places. Mother 3 has a collection of music pieces, which are available on demand within the game itself. Of those, there's a music piece which is a remix of Pollyanna, the Mother 1 theme, which is present throughout the series, in an nod to the previous games in the series. The hallway where this plays is full with mother references and it expects the player to sit down and watch passively all the references in order.

But this is meta, amazingly enough. The hallway is located in the final section of the game, before facing Porky, who is presented as the effigy of vicious capitalism in the game. As if he left them in his palace just as collectibles, things to be purchased or acquired.

The name of the song which plays during this sequence? "His Majesty's Memories". Subtle.

Nintendo is a company which tries to keep its image clean and sterile, so it can be used broadly for a variety of projects, usually with family friendly intent behind --and even more so in the US.

However, Nintendo has a history of risky bets with Mature content, which has become even more glaring lately: you got Eternal Darkness, Astral Chain, Bayonetta, No More Heroes, the disappointing Metroid Other M... this together with the fact that most of their target audience is of age now, could, at least remotely, mean that, perhaps, Mother 3 releasing in some manner in the future, localized in English, could happen: however, this is not happening at least the way I see it.

Once the game was released, there were several different campaigns online to try to gather Nintendo's attention: a 10k signature strong petition was completed among several other things, and if this hasn't lead to results... I don't know what will.

Part 5. "No Crying Until the End"

Mother 3 is a beautiful, engrossing and captivating game which is hidden away under a cutesy exterior. Its complex themes and characters are evoking of deep human truths which call out to us and ask us to reflect on things and the way we're living. Of strong pedigree in its series and with a superb musical production behind it and a mastermind of writing, MOTHER 3 excels at what it sets out to do.

When the game released, the game had a "Catch Copy" written for it by itoi himself, which called the game "Strange, Funny and Heartrending", and I think this is a beautiful way to bring everything full circle. Itoi wrote on the Advertisement that if you wanted to cry because of Mother 3, you should save it until the end. And those three words are a fantastic way to close off this review: if you want a game that will provide you with bizarre and laugh out loud moments one second and tear-jerkers the next, Mother 3 is the game for you.

And the game is just so poignant... to this date not only do I think it's one of the most expressive and well done pixel-art based game, I still find myself impresse at how much I can connect with the characters through small, cutesy sprites and pastel color pallettes, lack of Unreal engine and RTX graphics card be damned. Themes of grief, missing a loved one who's gone, the feeling of loss of identity due to accelerating social and economical change, how tyrannical political figures establish themselves and change communities, sexual and identity politics and how the modern world was to have shaky and voraginous sexual identities become commonplace... it's all there, and masterfully, tastefully expressed, without that icky feeling of "agenda"ism that you can get sometimes from Hollywood productions when they try to hamfist tropes and "messages" down people's throats. You know that feeling? I hate it when it happens in movies or shows I'm watching just to have a good time, and then I get some succint propaganda.

But MOTHER 3 is a kind beast, trying to reach to your heart and directly speak to the mind of the player. It tries to show us what it thinks of modernity and to make us seriously ponder what the frick is up with all of this shit, and thinking it has kept me for the last 14 years, and I anticipate another 20 ahead of me. And you can join me in reflecting about this...

Or maybe you can just go back to your happy box. Whichever way you choose.

#works #review #mother 3 #gba #game review #shigesato itoi

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hollenka99 · 3 years

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2020, According To My Tumblr Archive

January

Like many, freaked out about the Dhawan!Master reveal

Unus Annus reached 2 million subs

Ethan finally saw his sub count reach 1 million

Reblogged the elf pussy post with a version of the elf practice meme and now every time I see that meme, I think of that post

Finally made my Dyspraxic!Chase post

Fleshed out Creator!Jackie a little in terms of Nyesha (his girlfriend) and his prosthetics

February

Got really into Take Me or Leave Me for a short while which led to me watching RENT for the first time

Finally made that follow up to A Talk With The Creator I’d been meaning to write for months (aka A Day Long Overdue)

Started posting Unus Annus trigger warnings for a few weeks after the video where they demonstrate how they’d kill each other as a joke

Reached the 100 follower milestone after nearly 4 years on this site

Got very into WTNV again and binged like 60+ episodes in the space of 2 or so weeks

March

Watched Starkid’s Black Friday

Posted The Doctor on the anniversary of The Friend’s posting

Made some posts about the women of TLoJJ for International Women’s Day

Bupine received an anon ask teasing her about a typo which is common in our friendship group. Usual suspects were accused until the true culprit revealed themself via an acrostic (aka me being extra and I loved every second of it)

Went to the cat cafe in Nottingham

Made sure people were aware of World Puppetry Day by sending anon asks to people I thought might get a kick out of it

Posted Fighting Stolen Breaths

Steven Universe Future ended

Having been in the beginning stages of creation since ~Oct 2019, Jumbled AU content starts appearing

April

Spent the 1st doing an ask event for the Jumbled AU as a way of properly introducing it

Confused a bunch of people outside the Jacksepticeye community when I made a post saying how great it was that $400k had been raised in 2.5 hours during the HopeFromHome stream

Posted The Vlogger for Chase’s birthday

Got hyped to write a Śmigus Dyngus fic featuring Jumbled!Chase and his kids but got sick (regular illness, don’t worry) and therefore never finished it

Norbert Moses existed for 24 hours but he will exist much longer in our hearts

Managed to stay up to see 4:20am on April 20th

Posted the prologue and officially began the story of Jumbled

Watched Ghost for the first time

May

Fanders finally got the continuation of Selfishness vs Selflessness (Putting Others First aka SvS Redux) and learned Deceit’s name

Started talking about The Fall of Naesia

Pretty sure I hyperfixated on Queen for a week or so

Got introduced to ‘Storp Chorleigh, this game has gorn on lawng enuff’ and my life has significantly improved

CumGate happened

Got into ATLA

Black Lives Matter

Created the ‘it’s gonna be gay’ post that would destroy my inbox for the next few days

Had my first experience behind a wheel

June

Posted Flag, the response to which has made me proud of it

Poland scares and disappoints me part 1 (queer rights edition)

Sean posts another blooper video which causes me to make edits that subsequently inspire me to write Little Interruptions

Created an entire mythology purely because I thought a winged humanoid/merperson pairing was a cool concept

Reminded my friends why I should never be allowed to stay up until 4am because I just start talking nonsense

July

Finally watched An Inspector Calls and immediately wanted to make a Sanders Sides au with it.

Started talking about Creator again

Had another ask event to celebrate Jackie’s birthday

Also posted Photographs for his birthday which I love

Reached 150 followers around the middle of this month, I think

Discovered Kipo but wouldn’t fall for it head over heels with it for another month

One Direction celebrated their 10th anniversary and I was possessed by my 15 year old self for a week

Posted The Mediary which properly brought Creator AU back to my blog for a short while

August

Eddsworld came back after years

Posted The Creator and officially completed the main part of the au

Poland scares and disappoints me part 2 (queer rights edition continued)

Finally revealed Jumbled Anti’s identity to the world and got threatened on my birthday because of it

Discovered the Unus Annus video I’d been waiting all year for would be centered around them chewing on dog toys but it did feature “I’m the Unus to your Annus” so that was cool

Binged the first 2 seasons of Kipo in like a day and correctly predicted the Mega Monkey’s identity ages with very little foreshadowing to go off of

September

Started showing my love for Puppet History

Among Us was a thing

Got back into Playchoices

BBC Ghosts came back for series 2

Watched Pride twice in 24 hours and made sure everyone knew I’m heart eyes for it

October

Trump got sick

Family friend took one of my teeth

The world was blessed with Patton in a dress

Replayed Septiscape ahead of Soulscape’s release and liveblogged it

C!Thomas got a love interest and I’m really happy for him

Kipo season 3 came out

Literally the next day, the Dream SMP brainrot officially began

Discovered Thanzag existed and fell for the angsty side of their relationship despite knowing barely anything about the game

Poland scares and disappoints me part 3 (abortion edition)

Started bingeing The Magnus Archives and got through 150 episodes in about 2 weeks

Halloween was an eventful night for both the Jacksepticeye and Unus Annus communities

November

Unus Annus began its epilogue period

Watched V For Vendetta for the first time which was probably the least eventful thing to happen on the night of November 5th 2020

Destiel became somewhat canon and people found out Putin was thinking of resigning because of that

US elections

Unus Annus died following a 12 hour livestream

Somehow, my mad attempt to summarise every video of Unus Annus kinda paid off

Supernatural trended again because of its finale

Went through a period of questioning whether I’m asexual but settled on ‘sex ambivalent allosexual’ for now

Destiel became canon again but reciprocated and Spanish this time

Discovered Webtoon and Castle Swimmer

December

The monolith saga began

Elliot Page came out as trans

Mark went to hospital for an obstruction again and the community became very invested in his recovery process

Scotch eggs with your drinks became a brief meme over here in Britain

Your New Boyfriend was released

Destiel’s canon status was brought back to the spotlight once more

Watched The Godfather for the first time

Reached 200 followers

We got somewhat of a Dan and Phil video after so long with Phil trying on clothes while Dan reacts behind the camera

BBC Ghosts came back for Christmas to say Tories suck and you should make the most of your time with your family

Got into Mother Mother after Wilbur played the intro to Hayloft and I decided to see what the fuss was about

Watched Bridgerton and immediately felt the need to write something historical

The Mishapocalypse returned

#holly talks #2020 #year in review

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bltngames · 4 years

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Review: Lloyd the Monkey 2

Back before TSSZ News imploded, I would often do write-ups for many of the games at the Sonic Amateur Games Expo (SAGE). SAGE is an annual online expo that I started all the way back in September of 2000. I personally ran SAGE for over a year, and remained deeply hands on for at least another two years as it continued to grow. The main focus of SAGE was primarily to showcase fangames, in particular Sonic fangames, but the event never limited itself to any one type of game. It's never been uncommon to see original games appear in the lineup -- especially now, given the modern indie scene.

One such original game was Lloyd the Monkey, a bit of a strange game, written in Javascript of all things and run through a webpage. That by itself was notable enough to stand out from most of the games at SAGE, but Lloyd was also a completely original product created by someone who possibly seemed to be young and new to game development. Making games is no easy feat, especially when they’re written in Javascript and you’re doing tons of original artwork yourself. Taken as that whole, the game impressed me, even if it was more than a little rough around the edges.

Now we have Lloyd the Monkey 2, written in Unity. The developer, Noah Meyer, sent me a Steam key in order to review the game. Up top, I just want to say how I think it’s kind of brave to go all the way in putting the game on Steam and everything. It felt like just a few years ago, newer indie developers sort of had to work up to releasing their game on Steam, usually getting a few releases under their belt first. People view games differently when they’re asked to pay for them, and critics may not be so willing to let circumstances influence their review. It can be a harsh world out there for a beginner.

Lloyd 2 is a much bigger, more ambitious game than the first. Whereas the original Lloyd didn’t even have sound effects, Lloyd 2 introduces voiced cutscenes, some of which are full-on animated cinematics. Quality is about what you would expect -- I would assume the developer sought out friends and acquaintances to voice characters in Lloyd 2, leading to wildly varying audio quality due to differences in recording hardware. Lloyd himself sounds fine, but some of the other characters are a bit quiet, while others have clear background noise. Nothing I heard was unlistenable, however.

The story is also a little hard to follow. Not much is done to refresh our memories as to who anyone is or what’s going on, we’re just kind of thrown into the middle of things and turned loose. On one hand, it’s nice that the story doesn’t slow the pace of the gameplay down too much. On the other, you’re given a map screen with different objectives to clear but there’s very little context as to what you’re doing or why. At one point I made my way to the end of a Power Plant level only to confront what appeared to be an evil monkey. Despite a whole cutscene involving a conversation between four or five different people, this evil monkey never seemed to say a single word. He just stood there in total silence with a sinister smile. Then I killed him.

I suppose maybe I missed something, however. With greater ambitions comes a number of unfortunate bugs in Lloyd 2, one of which happened not long after our monkey and his crew landed on planet Grecia. I entered what appeared to be a castle to talk to the Queen, but I think the game expected me to take a lower route, where I was apparently meant to overhear the Queen making secret preparations before my arrival. Instead, I took the direct route straight to her chambers, and triggered the cutscene with Lloyd standing in front of her while ominous music played, even though the camera was still clearly focused on the next floor down. I apparently still had some amount of control, because midway through her dialog I touched a teleporter that sent me to the game’s map screen before she was done talking. If that cutscene was meant to give context to what I was doing, I didn’t get a chance to see it.

That was one of the more harmless bugs in my time spent playing Lloyd 2. Harder to ignore was the fact that, within the first 30 seconds of getting control, I soft locked the game. Lloyd 2 opens with a short prologue section where you play as a man with black hair. If you decide to ignore the obvious and go left instead of right, you quickly run out of solid level tiles and begin falling indefinitely. Later areas feature invisible walls presumably to prevent this exact scenario, but for whatever reason they weren’t implemented in the prologue.

For the most part, Lloyd 2 seems to be a co-op game. Many levels see Lloyd teamed up with an alien princess named Lura, with gameplay vaguely reminiscent of Mega Man X crossed with the tag mechanic from Sonic Mania’s Encore Mode. At the touch of a button, you can switch between the Swordsman Lloyd and the more projectile-based Lura… assuming your partner is still alive, I guess. While playing alone, your partner is controlled by artificial intelligence, but it’s incredibly basic and prone to accidentally committing suicide. That wouldn’t be such a big deal (considering Tails in Sonic 2 never acted in self-preservation either), but once your partner dies, they stay dead. Your only option to bring them back is to either restart the stage or hope another cutscene triggers, since they’ll magically spring back to life in order to say their dialog (though, again, usually only seconds before they fall back into the next death pit).

This might not be much of a problem, depending on your viewpoint. There’s not much incentive to switch between Lloyd and Lura, so once you pick whoever you think works the best, chances are, you’ll just stick with them. You do unlock special team-up attacks after beating each boss, but this just reinforces the idea that Lloyd the Monkey 2 is meant to be experienced with another person holding a second controller, as most of the team-up attacks require both characters to do something specific that the single player artificial intelligence usually can’t interpret. Regardless, the team-up attacks never seem strictly necessary to progress, so they can be safely ignored if you’re playing solo.

I understand this is a pretty negative review I’ve written here. Lloyd the Monkey 2 aims high and tries to the best of its ability to get there. I assume it was a struggle to get even this far. Making games is hard work, and like any skill, takes practice to get good at. Just because this is Lloyd the Monkey 2 doesn’t mean Noah Meyer, its developer, is automatically an expert. I'm sure he's doing his best, and, quality aside, this game has a lot of heart put into it. This isn’t something cheap, quick, or lazy. It’s really, genuinely trying, and that matters.

I’ve said a few times here and there that I see pieces of myself in the releases of Lloyd the Monkey, and I still see them here. I remember, for an early SAGE event, I was working on a fangame project of mine called The Fated Hour. I was probably already a year or two or maybe even three deep in the game by now, and after a lot of hyping up the community, this was their first chance to play the game. I spent months and months coding this iteration of my engine, and by my standards back then, it seemed like bleeding edge technology. I felt like I was going to blow everyone's minds.

It was a mess. Few were impressed. Even worse, the game straight up didn’t even run correctly for some people. What followed was multiple patches, and even rebuilding some entire areas from scratch. My ambitions got the better of me and I unintentionally cut corners -- not because I was trying to cheap out on doing proper development, but just because I simply didn’t know any better. I may have done the best I knew how to do, but I was running faster than my body could keep up with and I stumbled.

When I see things like the missing invisible walls in the prologue, or how easily partner characters commit suicide by accident, I think back to that demo for The Fated Hour, and how I've been in this exact place myself. There’s even a side quest in Lloyd 2 where you have to track a floating girl as she drifts through a level -- there was a nearly identical set piece in The Fated Hour, where you were chasing a robot. It’s a very strange feeling to see something like that and think, “I’ve been here before.” Like looking through a window at a younger version of yourself.

It’s true that I stumbled, but I didn’t let that stop me. I learned by doing. I kept going. Three years later, a game of mine was featured on TV, leading to more than a million downloads. The mistakes of past projects did not weigh me down and I soldiered onwards, newfound knowledge in hand.

So where does that leave us with Lloyd the Monkey 2, then. Well, it's not exactly a game to compete with Super Mario Odyssey, but given the circumstances in which it was created, I don't think that's necessarily the point. As a learning experience clearly made for the fun of its own creation, I think it's a success. And who knows what awaits in the years to come?

#writing #review #lloyd the monkey 2 #steam #noah meyer

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a-write-for-soreeyes · 4 years

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Best Friends with Jay and Silent Bob - [platonic]

Being best friends with Jay and Silent Bob would include:

(This could be seen as platonic (the way I thought of it) or it could be a poly relationship, whatever floats your boat)

- Always hanging out outside of the Quick Stop together

- Jay is ALWAYS flirting with you, (even if you’re a guy. We all saw Dogma, he’s a Bi-con)

- Being one of the characters in Bluntman and Chronic

- Helping them breakout the “Monkey” out after Jay refuses to listen to you and Silent Bob trying to tell him that the girls are bad news

- Not knowing WTF an apostle is

- Dicking around inside of the mall together

- “Oh hey it’s a boat.”

- They are VERY protective of you

- You and Jay share a SINGLE brain cell

- Not smoking cigs or weed and they are VERY confused by that

- “You’re telling me that you, a hot babe, doesn’t smoke blunts?”

- “Yeah basically.”

- “Well okay then. Looks like more for you and me Silent Bob”

- Grabbing snacks at the Quick Stop and watching shitty movies (horror or not) is a go to on friday nights

- “Hey Jay, is it just me or does Loki look kinda like Matt Damon?”

- “It’s just you.”

- Working at the video store with Randal and having the window next to cash open so you can talk to them

- “Hey y/n, I thought that Randal was supposed to be in today?”

- “Don’t even get me started Jay.”

- Jay is pretty affectionate, i.e, arm around you most of the time, forehead kisses, cheek kisses

- Whereas Silent Bob is more, holding your hand when you get nervous and cheek/head kisses for good luck

- You and Jay are so chaotic together

- Helping write and think of plots for the comic book, so when you hear about Jay and Silent Bob going to Hollywood to get their checks, you decide to come along to beat some white hetro man ass

- Being really good friends with Dante and Randal

- “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” “I know Dante, I know.”

- If anyone, AND I MEAN ANYONE tries to flirt with you, they appear out of nowhere to scare them off, (Silent Bob with nasty looks and Jay with his chaotic dumbass energy)

- You would represent Fate in Dogma, (goes hand in hand with Serendipity)

- “Remember y/n/n, the customer is always right!” “Jay I will kill you without hesitation”

- Jay and you usually being really loud and obnoxious

- Unlike you and Silent Bob can sit on opposite ends of a couch reading different books in absolute silence (maybe a tape or two going) and have a good time

- Wearing Jay’ weird shirts all the time

- They both love it when you wear Silent Bob’s jacket bc it’s so big on you and it’s always so warm

- When Loki tries to kill you for not saying “God Bless you” and (maybe) not believing in God, he holds his gun up to you, but before he can pull trigger you throat punch him, and he goes down hard, Jay and Silent Bob are fucking hyped bc “HOLY SHIT! Y/N YOU’RE A BADASS!” *Extreme head shaking from Silent Bob*

All in all yall would be the best trio ever, and you would never have a dull moment together

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fan fic #jay and silent bob #view askewniverse #dogma #clerks ii #clerks #mallrats #jay and bob

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printmonkeybonus-blog · 4 years

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Do you buy from JvZoo or WarriorPlus or other make money online product sites?

youtube

print monkey bonus

I have bought from all of them, literally spent thousands of dollars over the last 10 years or so. And most of that was wasted on junk, trash, garbage. Today I bought Print Monkey and my Print Monkey review is that it sucks even though it will sell thousands of copies on Warriorplus Worse still, you will waste lots of time trying to make ineffective products work when they simply are not fit for purpose.

print monkey bonus

I created the blog isitgarbage.info to stop you being like me. There are some useful products out there but most are garbage. I can promise you just one thing, you’ll find the truth at isitgarbage.info

Wherever you buy from you need to find yourself a real, authentic, independent and genuine source of information to determine which of the many internet marketing products being promoted work (the answer is very few) and which are garbage (the answer is most of them).

I don’t want honest people who are prepared to work hard to get ripped off anymore, losing money and time while a network of unethical marketers laugh all the way to the bank.

I don’t want you guys falling for the same old tricks and scams that have conned countless newbies out of their hard-earned cash.

That’s why us punks have to ask outselves one question…Is the product garbage?

I am calling out:

- Vendors who produce substandard products and fail to support the products or offer refunds. Moreover, they often promote products that they know are garbage to earn a quick buck. I am looking at you Brendan Mace, Art Flair, Billy Darr, Jason Fulton and many more who I will name and shame - Sales page hype and lies – this is the one area where these guys excel. The sales pages follow a strict pattern that is designed to trigger you into purchasing based on expert persuasive copywriting. - The cosy cartel of top affiliates that always promote each others’ stuff no matter how lacking in quality or dishonest it is. - The cheap hacks, the false proof and testimonials. The fact that every product seems to be discounted from $997 to $97 and then $47 and then $27. - The false scarcity where countdown timers urge you to buy at a discounted price in the next four hours or the world will explode. - The sly email subject lines saying “Your commission payment…” or “Sorry you’re too late..” or some other false statement making you open the email.

It’s time for more honesty and for more of us to just come out say what some of these products actually are, to be able to say to vendors that their products suck.

There is just so much BS and garbage in the make money online and internet marketing niches and I will call it out when I see it – that’s it!

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mx-metronome · 5 years

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Say, remember when I posted Thorton and I said I also planned on including a short essay about my art and true satisfaction? Well I have a few hours to kill before bed, so here is that essay. (Read More doesn’t work on mobile, I am so sorry)

I’ll start with establishing that everyone has that art. That one medium that really makes them happy, that sincerely drives them to improve if for no other reason than to learn and delve deep into their craft. Music, painting, knitting, it doesn’t matter.

Some pursue an art for the sake of wanting to impress others, then get frustrated when it doesn’t come easy. For them, practice is painful, and no enjoyment comes of it. It feels like a chore to them. But once they find that art, they stop caring about recognition, and they stop attaching their self worth to how skilled they are in that art.

My art is cross stitch. It has been for nearly a decade. Through all my years of high school, I desperately wanted to be good at something so that other people would like me. I wanted to define myself as an individual for everyone to see. Then one fateful day in April 2010, I picked up cross stitch, but not for any of the reasons above: I started because I felt it was something that I would truly enjoy. I always fancied pixel art, and I wanted to do something with my hands instead of a computer screen, so it felt natural to pick it up.

Right away, my life improved. I forgot about most of my social insecurities, and my self esteem began to climb. I started off small, with little pixel arts like Pokémon and Mario characters. The projects got bigger over time, but not big enough that I felt overwhelmed. I had a small part time job my senior year, and it paid well; I took all that money I made and immediately blew it on more supplies. Slowly, my collection of fabric, floss, and needles grew. My patterns started to as well, as I was itching to extend my skill as far as I could imagine. For the first six years, everything was fantastic.

Somewhere down the line, things changed. As I graduated college and my mental state worsened, I took steps backward back into my high school years when I was so concerned about what others thought of me. My projects got so absurdly large that it took so much energy to finish them, but I worked so hard to impress people.

At first, it worked: Barista Klug (2017) is a perfect example of this. Going into this doozy of a project, my heart was in the right place for the first three months, but as winter turned to late spring, my depression symptoms became severe. There were a handful of days where I couldn’t even move from my bed, the first days of their kind. My passion was dying, and it was frustrating to me. Cross stitch slowly ceased to be fun.

I saw him to his completion, but I was coping with a lot of stress at the time, so he didn’t feel as satisfying to finish as I had imagined. After I posted him on tumblr, and he didn’t get the notes on here that I felt reflected my efforts, things only got worse. I continued to start new, overambitious projects in an attempt to get people to notice me; I felt like a little fame and recognition would help me feel not so alone. But of the four or five massive projects I have started since, none of them have even come close to getting done.

Over the next year, the stitching just...stopped. I started a few more projects, sincerely believing a few times that my stitch itch had come back, but it never lasted long enough. I wasn’t doing anything with my hands, nothing was keeping my mind at bay. One particular day in 2017 stands out to me as the worst depression day ever, but the entirety of 2018 was my worst depression year. I was artistically stagnant, and although I knew cross stitching could be my saving grace, I never had the motivation to do it.

I finished a single cross stitch for the whole of 2018: a small, quick one of Ralsei from Deltarune, in a desperate attempt for stitching to fix my broken soul. Even though he wasn’t nearly as overwhelming a project, I stitched him for the wrong reasons: he was easy notes. It was another difficult time in my life, and I needed the attention.

This year, 2019, I feel is when I started to improve. I took a semester off of school to mentally heal, and in this momentary ceasefire, I tried to pick up cross stitch again through another overambitious project, Agent 9 the monkey. Upon completion, he will stand as my cross stitch project with the second most number of stitches, so he’s no picnic! Like Barista Klug, things were smooth for the first 3 or 4 months, but he’s since gone under hiatus, just like the rest, and I haven’t picked him up since.

So where did I go wrong? I asked myself for years. Why doesn’t this make me happy anymore? Why was I so satisfied with my work in my youth, but now I hate the mere thought of it? Saying it all aloud now, I’m certain the answer is crystal clear to all of you. But I wanted to pinpoint an answer in hopes of pursuing my craft so relentlessly and with wild abandon like I did a decade ago. I wanted a signal in this darkness...

After almost four years of complete darkness and confusion, at the end of June 2019, I received my signal. Still coping with my depression, I heard a new Pokémon game was coming out for mobile, and one of my fav (and super obscure) characters of all time would be in the core game. The clouds started to lift as my heart attached itself to an old lost fandom, granting me an urge, one that can only be granted by pure, distilled hype.

Enter Factory Head Thorton.

I knew I HAD to cross stitch him, to encapsulate the spirit that I hadn’t felt in so long. But this time, I did things differently: Why make a giant pattern with all the intricate details when this guy has sprites from the DS era, sprites that are easily transposable into a cross stitch pattern? I knew his sprite was small enough that I could finish him before school was back in session, but I’d have to work fast.

While I was working on the spritework for the pattern one July night, I had to pause and cry about it. To this day I am uncertain what triggered it, but working on this pattern filled me with such a raw happiness, the likes of which I’d never felt before. I was feeling true contentment for the first time in over half a decade, and I couldn’t contain my relief. As I began the stitching itself, that contentment carried over into my handiwork. I wasn’t stitching him because it would be a quick grab for notes (he’s obscure enough of a character as it is); I was making this stitching for myself, just a little something tangible that I made with my two hands. (If I ever came off as though notes on him were important to me, it was less for fame and more for shooting a flare into a dormant corner of a fandom and hoping I could make some new connections.)

Yeah, I felt satisfaction completing most of my other projects, but Thorton hit differently: Yeah, finishing him felt good, but working on him from start to finish felt even better, something I didn’t feel with Barista Klug or Ralsei. It was a sensation that sent me all the way back to high school, when I felt genuine passion and excitement in every stitch I made. This project was a meditation, almost a time capsule, even though I had only made the pattern a month prior.

From 2016 and on, none of my projects sparked joy. Thorton sparked joy, from beginning to end. So where did I lose my way? Well, I narrowed it down to two basic characteristics.

I think it was the spritework, what I suppose could be considered my traditional style when I first started in 2010. I moved away from sprites in 2015 or so, and it was about then that my art career started downhill. But going back to that style felt so perfect and ethereal, like it’s what I was always meant to do. I was very passionate about Barista Klug, but he wasn’t done in my old-timey sprite style.

Another contributing factor is likely whether or not I’m passionate about the subject and, by extension, whether I’m making the piece for attention over personal enjoyment. Am I considering how much I love that which I am stitching, or am I thinking about how much more people will love me once I’m done? Ralsei was indeed a sprite, but I made him for quick notes, seeing as I started and finished him while Deltarune was still at its peak popularity.

For the first time in nearly a decade, I stitched something that met both criteria, and it felt so powerful. I’m definitely taking this analysis to heart, and I aspire to pursue more projects like Thorton in the foreseeable future.

.........I say as I have already gathered $100 of materials for another HUGE latch hook project... Shame I figured this out a month too late, I suppose.

#tempo tantrums #long post #very insightful as i write it all out

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bumper-boi · 5 years

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The 6 Times Jonah Almost Kissed Walker, and the 1 Time He Did

Part 2: Lack-Of-Sleepover

Word Count: 610

Pairing(s): Wonah

Genre(s): Fluff

Trigger Warning(s): Minor panic attack

———

When Walker invited Jonah to a sleepover, Jonah was nervous, to say the least. A whole night with his crush? How will he survive? Yet, here he was, standing outside of Walker’s front door, holding a sleeping bag.

The door opened to Walker, smiling wide when he saw it was Jonah at the door, “Jonah! Come in!” He said, grabbing Jonah’s arm to pull him in.

Jonah followed Walker into the house, confused when he noticed there was no one in the living room, yet there were snacks set out.

“Am I early? Where is everyone else?” Jonah asked, assuming there would be others.

“Did I not tell you? They all bailed on me,” Walker replied, sitting on the couch.

“Oh,” Jonah said, already growing anxious over the thought that he had to spend an entire night alone with his crush.

His anxiety was apparently very obvious, due to the speed of his breathing picking up, and his frantic blinking.

“Jonah, are you okay?” Walker asked, getting up to help him.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just a bit panicked,” Jonah responded as Walker led him to the couch.

“Oh. Do you some water or something to eat?” Walker said, desperately trying to be helpful.

“No, I’m good, I just need to sit for a little bit and I will be fine.”

“Okay.”

After Jonah calmed down, he quickly explained to Walker about his panic attacks, saying that they come randomly.

“Well, maybe now that you are calm, we can play some games? I have a Switch, so we could play Mario Kart?” Walker asked, trying to hype Jonah back up.

“Sure!”

———

They played different games on the Switch, finally stopping after beating a difficult level in Overcooked. All of Jonah’s anxieties went away, allowing him to have a good time with Walker.

It had been about 5 hours since Jonah’s panic attack, and the time was nearing midnight. Walker’s mother asked them to go to bed, so they were now in Walker’s room.

“So, your birthday is coming up, what are your plans?” Walker asked, sitting on his bed.

“I’m having it at the park! There is going to be face painting, caricatures, and even a bouncy house!” Jonah said, visibly excited about his party plans.

“Cool! Who’s all invited?”

“You, Andi, Buffy, Cyrus, Amber, Marty, Tj, and a few other friends.”

“Okay!”

“Anyway, maybe we should get settled into bed,” Jonah said, setting his stuff up on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Walker asked, watching Jonah.

“I just said, I’m getting settled for bed.”

“I mean, why are you setting your stuff up on the floor. My bed is big enough for the both of us,” Walker commented, gesturing to his queen-sized bed.

“It’s okay, I’m fine with sleeping on the floor,” Jonah said, looking for any reason to not have to share a bed with his crush.

“I’m not taking no for an answer.”

They continued to argue for a little while, until Jonah eventually gave up, moving his things so they were now on Walker’s bed.

———

They sat up and talked about random stuff for the next few hours, not noticing what time it was until it was 5 am.

Yawning, Jonah laid down next to Walker, who was laying on his stomach, playing a game on his phone.

‘He looks really cute when he’s tired.’

Jonah leaned in without thinking, only snapping his head away when he realized how close he was to kissing Walker’s cheek. Walker, however, didn’t seem to notice, which was a huge relief to Jonah.

He quickly turned so he was facing away from Walker, falling asleep almost instantly.

Taglist:

(Let me know if you want to be added/removed!)

#andi mack #wonah fic #wonah #end of hiatus #original #seven days of wonah #logan’s fics

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drlaurynlax · 5 years

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Important: 10 Best Paleo Protein Powders You Should Not Miss

Paleo protein powders seem like oxymoron.

After all, we all know our ancestors didn’t order Paleo protein powders on Amazon, or plug in their Ninja blender to whip up a post-workout Chunky Monkey smoothie. They got their protein from the “real deal” like deers, fish and buffalo. Paleo protein powder is more like a “pseudo-Paleo” food that falls within an 80/20 philosophy of eating (i.e. 80% of the time, eat real whole foods, 20% of the time, let life happen.

Smoothies & Paleo Protein Powders Are the New Buffalo

Nevertheless, thanks to human adaptation and the Industrial Revolution, life in modern times is a little different then “back in the day” and the protein shake or green smoothie have become dietary staples—especially for busy people on-the-go and fitness enthusiasts.

Shakes and smoothies are also great options for folks who have special dietary needs, like gut issues or who are looking to put on weight or muscle, and want an easy way to get more power packed nutrition and calories in (without feeling stuffed or bloated).

Unfortunately, the majority of protein powders out there—even “Paleo protein powders”—are stacked with tons of ingredients that negate any nutritional benefit from the protein powder itself.

The Problem with Paleo Protein Powders

Even if a protein powder label claims “high in protein,” or “Paleo-friendly,” the bigger question is: Can you absorb it?

Chances are, if the protein powder—even a “Paleo protein powder”—is filled with additives, chemicals, and anti-nutrients (like soy, rice, pea protein or peanuts), then you are NOT really getting the biggest nutrient bang for your buck.

Bloating, constipation, gas, loose watery stools and diarrhea are common side effects people experience when consuming protein powders on a regular basis—and many people don’t even question that their protein powder formula could be triggering their gut symptoms (especially if the label claims it’s a healthy “Paleo-friendly protein powder”).

Newsflash: If you’re running to the bathroom shortly after your smoothie, bloated or gassy during the day, or wondering why you’re always constipated (despite “eating healthy”)…there might be something in the “water” (i.e. your “healthy” Paleo protein powder).

How to choose the BEST protein powder for you?

Here are 5 Essentials to Look for When Choosing the BEST Paleo Protein Powder, and the 10 Best Paleo Protein Powders that meet the criteria.

5 Essentials to Look for When Choosing the BEST Paleo Protein Powder

Artificial Sweeteners While we all know that sugar https://drlauryn.com/why-is-sugar-bad-3-things-that-happen-to-your-body/ is not our BFF, sugar-free alternatives are fine, right?! Especially “natural ones” like stevia!…Not so fast.Artificial sweeteners, including Aspartame, Acesulfame, Sucralose, Erythritol (in many “Keto” products) and yes, stevia https://drlauryn.com/7-stevia-side-effects-food-advertisers-dont-tell/ are STILL synthesized chemical products (Read: Health nightmares). Artificial sweeteners https://drlauryn.com/artificial-sweeteners-really-all-that-bad/ are associated with side effects (Tandel, 2011 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198517/) similar, if not worse, to high amounts of sugar, including blurred vision, heart palpitations and wreaking major havoc on your digestion, including diarrhea, gas, and bloating. In addition, a vast majority of “natural” stevia sold in stores and put into products is NOT the real thing, as processing and heating methods strip it of any real nutritional value it had before. So are ANY sweeteners ok?Recommended “Sweeteners” Include: Coconut water, monk fruit, fruit extracts and natural (no sweetener added) flavors (you can add fruit to a smoothie for taste. Disclaimer: some people CAN tolerate “organic” (non-GMO) stevia—however, keep in mind, it’s still highly processed.

Protein Type Your protein powder is only as good as you can absorb it.In general, Whey protein, egg white, soy protein, pea protein and rice proteins are the LEAST digestible powders sold on shelves—especially if you’re not buying a quality source of these proteins or a highly-heated and processed form. Soy, rice and peas contain “anti-nutrients” also known as phytic acid and lectins, both associated with symptoms such as gas and bloating and nutrient malabsorption. Many of these components are also GMO-derived (genetically modified organisms) with a host of non-gut-friendly side effects.As for egg white protein and whey protein, since dairy and eggs are considered some of the most “inflammatory” and cross-contaminating foods with gluten, these proteins don’t sit well with everyone. Egg whites in particular (vs. egg yolks) contain albumin—a protein highly associated with food sensitivities and allergies. Many folks experience a feeling of “egg belly” (indigestion) when they consume a concentrated dose of egg whites.

Whey is a derivative of dairy, and those with dairy and/or gluten sensitivities may find their symptoms (gastrointestinal, allergies, low immunity, skin breakouts) flare when consumed. The two most common forms of whey are whey concentrate and whey isolate .The main difference is that whey isolates are more pure than concentrate, meaning other non-protein components have been partially removed to “isolate” the whey protein and contain less lactose overall (i.e. better for lactose intolerance).

Whey ALSO comes in the form of “grass-fed” or standard whey and more and more conscious supplement companies are promoting that their “grass-fed” whey is better.

However, unlike grass-fed and grass-finished whole meats, most “grass-fed” wheys on the market are ALOT of hype, due to the high-heating and processing of many formulas. Current research does NOT support the claims that whey from grass-fed cows (or “grass-fed whey”) is better” for us or different than grain-fed at a macronutrient level simply because the heating and standard high-pasteurization process destroys the beneficial CLA and protein profiles we get from grass-fed whey in particular (Van Hekken et al, 2017 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28624284).

In other words: Don’t be fooled by fancy labels claiming “grass-fed whey,” or “grass-fed dairy” because once it’s in powdered, the grass-fed qualities don’t make a difference (unless its marked as “low pasteurized,” “raw grass-fed” and/or “cold-processed”)

Recommended Protein Types: The more “real food” protein powder options include:

Grass-fed Beef Isolate

Collagen

Bone Broth Protein

Low-Pastuerized, Cold-Processed Whey (If you tolerate dairy)

Goat’s Milk Whey (if you tolerate dairy)

Other Additives GMO’s like Malodextrin, Soy,Soy Lecthin, Xanthin Gum, Yeast, Lactic Acid, “Natural” or “Artificial” Flavorings, Corn, Sodium Citrate, Ethanol, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Amino Acids, Ascorbic Acid, Sodium Ascorbate, and “Vitamins” are not you (or your gut’s) friends. Period. Chances are if you don’t know what an ingredient really is…your body doesn’t either.

Company Transparency & Customer Service How transparent, honest and accessible is the company? Do you have questions about the processing? Do they answer it? If you’re not satisfied with the product, do they allow returns or credits? These markers influence the credibility of not only the company itself, but the products they sell. A company that believes in their product and the health claims they make, stands by it, and is adamant about providing you with not only a convenience, but quality.

Not a Meal Replacement Simply put: Protein powders are supplements—supports to enhance your nutrition and intake, but NOT replace real food. Therefore, when looking for a protein powder to supplement, or add, to your diet, keep in mind that: (1.) You CANNOT supplement your way out of a poor diet, AND (2.) protein powder is NOT real food.

10 Best Paleo Protein Powders (please number these how you would format them in WP and include a picture of each product?)

Organic Grass-fed Beef Bone Broth Powder Left Coast Performance https://amzn.to/2GIuFzq

Primal Health Paleo Protein https://amzn.to/2GoG08x

Vital Proteins Collagen Powder (like the Dark Chocolate https://amzn.to/2pUR6Xu or Vanilla https://amzn.to/2EcMlOo)

PurePaleo by Designs for Health https://amzn.to/2GpZKo9

Mt. Capra Goat Whey Protein https://amzn.to/2GrldNx

Wild Whey by Wild Foods https://amzn.to/2GL6j7W

Grass-fed Whey by Raw Organic Whey https://amzn.to/2J9RIkP

Prime Protein (Beef Isolate) by Equip Foods https://amzn.to/2pTqpDk

Pastured Eggs (yes, you can simply crack a quality egg or two into your smoothie and blend up)

Pure Paleo Protein by Amy Myers https://amzn.to/2GJbuW4

Bonus: Bone Broth (my personal favorite—a real food) by OssogoodBones https://www.ossogoodbones.com (use code “THRIVE” for $10 off)

The post Important: 10 Best Paleo Protein Powders You Should Not Miss appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/wellness-knowledge/best-paleo-protein-powders/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

#Holistic #Nutrition #Therapy #Recovery #Functional #Medicine #Dr. Lauryn Lax #Dr.Lauryn

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local-triggerhead · 4 years

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CDPR AND TRIGGER IS MAKING AN ANIME

youtube

I’VE NEVER THOUGHT

IN MY LIFE

THAT THIS WOULD BE REAL

I wouldn’t even believe it in my DREAMS.

My favorite anime studio, and my favorite game studio, partnering up to make an anime about my soon-to-be favorite game.

WHAT, IN THE FUCK

I didn’t think my hype level could get any higher, and I’m proven wrong yet again! It’s off the fucking charts now! These mad motherfuckers have single-handedly turn my 2020 around!

Hiroyuki Imaishi is working on this too! This anime will come out in 2022 on Netflix. Meanwhile, if you’re not familiar with the game - Cyberpunk 2077 - then I recommend you check out. The game will come out in November and it got high potential to be Game of the Year.

SO REJOICE, GAMERS AND WEEBS.

More info here

#MY HYPE MONKEY IS ROLLING #AHHHH #studio trigger #cdpr #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk edgerunners #cd projekt red #anime #gaming #hiroyuki imaishi #netflix #video games

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beamdolans · 6 years

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Only Have Eyes For You - Pt.2 [G.D]

SUMMARY: His dads insane, his mothers a disheartened wreck, his brother is a major junkie, and his bad boy facade is driving him mad. All the girls desire the secretive boy, but he only has eyes for her.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: sorry a lot of depressing shit and smut I guess. possible triggers? also this is my first fanfic so get ready for some punctuation mistakes!

[Y/n’s POV]

I checked the clock that was plastered to the front of the class and above Mr.White's desk.

It read '8:30pm'.

Thank god detention was almost over. All these years of being in the education system, and I've never been in this room once. It was definitely more foul-smelling then I had imagined. There was so much hype about how exhilarating detention was, how the people here were always fun to mess around with. I thought at least Maverick would be hear, since he's usually here alongside Dolan. He always winks at me when I pass him on my way to 2nd period.

Maverick Duval, the very attractive, super tough guy, that happens to be the captain of the football team, and has his very own cool kid posse, like guys like him do in the movies. No one would dare touch him, unless you wanted your legs to be seen crawling back to the other half of your body; no one except stupid head over there in the corner, and his even more stupid brother, Ethan Dolan, AKA; ex captain of the football team and might I add, the biggest badass known to man, no one messes with him either. Everyone says Ethan takes after his dad, Randy.

I don't talk to E, nor have I seen his dad, so I'm not gonna make any assumptions. Maverick and the twins are always at each other's throats. I kinda wanted to see how they'd all be locked in a room with one another for 5 hours. I'd bet one of them would have had the others heads by now.

There's no one in here but Mr. Mysterious and my groggy colleague. It was kind of a let down.

Definitely no breakfast club.

Rachel fell asleep around 2 hours ago and was currently lying on the collection of drool forming on my desk. Grayson has been humming non stop looking like he was having the time of his life, sitting there in his seat tapping his two fingers over top the table over and over again. Countless songs by Weezer, Arctic Monkeys and surprisingly, New Kids on the Block were heard coming from his mouth.

I'd never thought he'd be the type to listen to New Kids on the Block.

Like ever.

[Grayson's POV]

God I hate when Mr.Whites late. The clock at the front of the class read '9:28pm'. The guy was a track star back in the 90's, and now, he's slow as fuck. I guess when Ethan whipped a shot put ball at him in 7th grade, he really messed the hell out of his knee. He was a cripple for the rest of that year, resulting in him accumulating a massive hatred for us Dolan’s, getting pent up inside him ever since.

Rachel and y/n were presently passed out beside one another, no doubt getting over their major hangovers. Mr. White better hurry the fuck up, or the past will soon replay itself. I was scared.

I had seemed to subconsciously shed a tear, "Shit." I say under my breath, knowing that y/n was only sleeping lighting. I pat the tear away with the sleeve of my red sweater. I was really scared.

Scared of what they would think of me when I coward in the corner whilst my dad comes bashing through the class room doors, asking why the hell I wasn't out yet. 'You're wasting my fucking time.' I bet he'd say, while gripping me around my neck as tight as he could, most liking turning my face a disturbing shade of blue. He's traumatized the fuck outta me ever since I was a kid. He had some brutal strength, and doesn't hesitate to hurt me in front of my friends. I don't know why'd he hesitate around girls, it would just show them how much of a pussy I really am.

He's not my dad though, he's my step dad. You know, one of those stereotypical step parents you see on TV, that you would think to have had some time in prison by now. I'm really, not exaggerating. My mom met him at a strip club, shortly after my dad died in a freak car accident when I was 4. He probably won her over by buying her a drink or complimenting her figure or some stupid shit like that.

She was so stupid, worst mistake of her life. Me and Ethan despised him the first day we met the guy; the way he would drunkenly stagger my mom to the doorway after a long night at who knows were. The way he would make these disgusting remarks about my mom, that she would just brush off later like it was nothing. The way he touched me and Ethan. It started out small first, but now hitting us is in his daily routine. She was so utterly depressed and desperate and needed a distraction from the pain, I guess that distraction was my dick head dad.

I don't like calling him dad.

[Y/n's POV]

I awoke with a loud bang coming from the opposite side of the door. I was dazed and confused, since the last thing I remember was staring at the clock, making sure I didn't end up catching any z's, but clearly I was out cold.

Oh shit the clock. 9:36pm I read, after rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Grayson was awake, and he looked petrified. Another bang struck the door, and it reverberated throughout the room.

I gazed over at Grayson, and with every thump, his eyes closed tight, and his body shook in terror. A man's deep voice was heard from the flip-side of the door, and quite frankly, it didn't sound pleasant. "Grayson!" The man yelled. Grayson looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were drenched.

"Y/n what's going on?!" Rachel said, wide eyed. She awoke from her sleep clearly as confused and scared as I was. Her knees curled up to her chin. "Is Mr.White trying to get in?!"

I peered over at Grayson and found myself staring at what looked to be the body of a petrified 5 year old, cowardly shielding himself with his hands. I've never seen him like this, it was scary.

He looked back at me, he was breathing heavily. Rachel was too busy worrying about who was at the door rather than to notice Grayson.

"Gray! Are you in there? Let me in!" The man's voice boomed behind the closed door. Grayson immediately unwrapped his arms from his legs, and quickly wiped away the tears falling from his puffy, red eyes. He staggered his way up to the door sniffling and occasionally dabbing his nose with the back of his wet hand. He twisted the handle, and behind the door, was no other then his quit pale looking twin. I let out a sigh of relief.

Ethan rushed in the room, "What the hell? You were supposed to be out of this place 45 minutes ago! I was worried dude." He raised his hands up over his figure, leaned forward and shook his head. "Your fucking lucky dad didn't-" he paused and slapped his hands down to his sides. "Who's the pretty lady?" He asked pointing in my direction. "I've been in here how many times? And I haven't seen your gorgeous face once." He smiled and rested his thumbs in the loops of his jeans.

Grayson looked my way and rolled his eyes. "The 'pretty lady' has a name E." He cleared his throat. "And that is?" Ethan said, licking his lips. He turned his head so his ear was all I could see. I reply to his question with my name and cross my arms. I look over to see Rachel with raised eyebrows and a lollipop she probably found at the bottom of her bag, wedged in between her lips.

"Wow nice to see you too Ethan. Nothing to say about my pretty face?" She said walking closer. Ethan looked down and smiled. He let out a scoff. "Hi Rachel. I've seen you enough times to know that your face is pretty." He laughed, and she copied. Ethan looked back my way after the chuckles stopped and the silence in the room got bigger. "Well y/n, it was nice to meet you, but me and Gray gotta head out. And you guys should too, it's getting dark out there." He jerked his head to the door.

We all jumped when Mr.White came crashing in to the room. He had a briefcase in hand and colourful papers were flying out of it everywhere. He let out a loud sigh and rubbed his eyebrows together. "Sorry, the traffic was insane." We all stood there waiting on someone to say something. "Well?" His Eyes darted between the each of us. "You can go know!" He waved his hand towards the door and chuckled.

I didn't hesitate to move my feet towards the exit fast, I had no idea what had just went down. Rachel quickly speed up to get beside me. "Bye guys! See you next time." She yelled looking back. I heard two faint 'good byes' in the distance, and half of a witty remark made by one of the brothers, but I didn't stop to find out what the rest was, I was just happy to be out of that contested room.

We made it to the parking lot and unlocked Rachel's burgundy Mercedes. I was thinking about asking her about Grayson's little episode that happened earlier, but I assumed she didn't see it since she definitely would have questioned me about it all ready. I'll just keep it to myself.

[Grayson's POV]

'Shit.' I thought. "Shit." I said. Ethan turned his head and questioned me. "What?" He turned the sharp corner slowly in my Ford Bronco. Our stupid old man crashed Ethan's car last week, so I let him use my ride.

"Ah, nothing." I said looking over my shoulder and out the window. It wasn't actually nothing. Ethan took a hand off the wheel, grabbed my face, and jerked my head left so it was facing him. He squinted his eyes and stared at me hard. He slammed the breaks and grunted.

"Dude what the hell?!" I said bracing myself with the side of my door. "Why are your eyes red and swollen." He said sternly and monotone. He wouldn't break the gaze between us until I spoke up. "You were crying, weren't you." He took in a sharp breath. "You were fucking crying!" He banged his hands against the wheel. "Ethan." I gulped.

He whipped his head back and rested it on the back of his seat. "Grayson who saw." He clenched his eyes shut. This is what I was afraid of. How did he always know what I was thinking when I haven't even said anything yet? "Only Y/n." I hesitated. "Only y/n? You mean the girl you just met and know nothing about?" He gave me a shocked and disappointed look. "Shit Gray, she could end up telling the whole school!"

I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth. "What? What happens if people find out? Am I not aloud to be scared?! You were fucking banging on the door like a maniac!" I snapped. "I thought you were dad." A single tear slipped from my eye. He looked at me with sympathy. "Grayson. I just don't want anything to happen to you. You know Maverick and his goons are friggin insane." He paused and shook his head. "They'll start a fight with you about anything and everything." I nodded my head in agreement, well knowing his statement was very true. "I just want to cry like a normal person." I said low, not breaking contact with the dark road ahead of us.

The car was unbearably silent for a few minutes after that. "Gray?" He broke the awkwardness. I hummed softly, signalling he could ask his question. "Can you stay with Y/n?" He shot me a look then quickly shifted his eyes back to the road. I was confused. "Do what?" He sighed, "Gray, if you don't stay with her for the next couple of days, she might as-well think telling the whole school about your little incident is the given thing to do."

I rolled my eyes. He was right, I didn't know this girl. I had no idea what her intentions might be. Who knows what she might do with the information. I nodded my head. "Gray, I just-" he stuttered. "You just don't want me to get hurt." I finished his sentence. I watched as he rested his cheek in his hand. "C'mon, it won't be that hard." He made sure to emphasized the 'that'. He shot me a grin.

"What do you mean?" I responded. "I mean, you were looking at that girl like she was your dinner."

"Was not."

"Was too." He shot back, lightly punching me in my arm. I guess I was, Y/n was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. I've kinda had a thing for her since 5th grade. I want to get to know her.

#grayson dolan series #the dolan twins imagine #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson dolan imagine #dolan twins #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #ethan and grayson #ethan dolan imagine

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