#bc he himself is a problem
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Ryan Leonard scores the fifth goal of the game for the Eagles, which ended up being the GWG, and got a penalty for screaming in the face of Merrimack’s goaltender
#im sorry but i have a len cheddar problem#bc he himself is a problem#ryan leonard#bc hockey#can't believe im using that tag#jessgifs
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KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.
EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!
- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!
- “Sure is.”
DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?
YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”
DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!
YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”
KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.
INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.
ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.
HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!
VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.
KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”
YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”
LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.
KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”
YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”
YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”
KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."
He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”
EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.
YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.
YOU - “…”
KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.
YOU - “Kim?”
KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.
YOU - “KIM!!!!”
uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt
(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)
also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#den's disco swap#disco elysium role swap#HI nobody look at the fact that. i am a novice writer at best DFGHJFGH#i had idea for some comic dialogue but it ended up being this instead whoops. i mean i could still draw this as a comic#anyways. i was like. trying to reverse engineer my idea of how kim can change into his bomber jacket instead of his uniform.#which. i dont think you can do with just simple convincing bc that thing is fused to him in spirit so there has to be like a good reason wh#oh it gets ruined! how? it gets like wet or smth! how'd that happened? he threw himself into the sea#also isnt it fitting that my memory problems is making me not remember the things that happen in disco elysium very well wheezes#so whoops if the characterization is a lil off lmaoooooo#but i have been trying to figure out how i want harry to be in this swap au#i dont think he's as well as he wants you to believe he is. and just the image of him pushing this 'youre allowed to be in denial about +#this' to kim about the kineema was so vivid in my head and idk if that tracks but hell. its in there now dfghdjfg#starry don't look#sunnysidedraws#sunnysidedisco
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jiujiu and a-ling for @spriteofmushrooms 🪷💝
Jiang Cheng carrying toddler Jin Ling in a business suit because he has to go to a meeting but a-Ling refuses to go anywhere with his nanny
in the end, a-ling went to the meeting together with jiujiu and had paw p〇trol anyways!! also those are his FAVOURITE stickers 🥰
edit: (part 2 of the jiujiu and a-ling struggleverse)
#moko art#mdzs#jiang cheng#jin ling#jc makes himself look perfect everyday bc he needs to look very important to ppl take him seriously!!#yes theres a toddler there no hes not his son do u have a problem with that 🤨#a-ling's shoes squeak when he runs btw!!!
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one thing i really appreciate about jinshi's character is how he has NEVER once actually had any intention of succeeding the throne. every time the idea is brought up he immediately detests it. so hes giving maomao as much as he possibly can, even though maomao has many qualms about it due to their difference in social status, but jinshi DOESNT CARE because hes NEVER cared about or wanted the status of crown prince! its been nothing but a burden to him! from his perspective the ONLY thing keeping the two of them apart are outside influences. he has no doubt within himself-- hes horribly down bad, in fact. but unfortunately his stupid JOB is getting in the way of him skipping off into the sunset with his favourite little cat
#jinshi literally maiming himself infront of the emperor and empress: “can you please fire me so i can marry the girl of my dreams”#emperor: “no. now go to the west capital relatively unsupervised with the girl of your dreams andpromise REAL HARD u wont something stupid”#also not to mention i think maomaos problem isnt that she doesnt want to marry jinshi bc she doesnt care about him-- she cares abt him A LO#which is precisely why shes convinced herself she cant marry him. she wants whats best for him and#she wholeheartedly believes that marrying her is the EXACT OPPOSITE of whats best for him.#like she has. yknow. not the prettiest of backgrounds. growing up in a brothel might do that to you#shes mentioned before- shes basically a commoner. she has her biologicaldad but hes more of a wildcard selfmade man with no real connection#and she doesnt even like him.#but she just CANNOT comprehend that someone would sacrifice so much for her and ask for nothing in return but her company#i just love them a lot your honour.#the apothecary diaries#the apothecary diaries spoilers#for the anime/manga onlies#READ THE LIGHT NOVEL#kusuriya no hitorigoto#kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers
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Dang. Finn has been fully messed up since Jake died, hasn't he?
Like the way he's all "let's go on an adventure!!" and " it's no probs, I love fixing people :D" like s i r...
#fionna and cake#adventure time fionna and cake#finn mertens#finn the human#finn and jake#jake the dog#simon petrikov#adventure time#like damn#Obviously we knew he was NOT ok after Jake died (see: together again)-#-but BOY does it hits different seeing it actually play out#Bc obviously Finn is a lot younger when we see him than when he died so...#Poor guy honestly#Like he's acting all “:DDD” b he is so clearly running at top speed towards his problems hoping they'll take him down#his behavior actually parallels Fionna (which. Yeah that makes sense)#Very self destructive behavior#From both of them#(Finn going on more and more dangerous adventures and just being very reckless with himself)#(And Fionna quitting her jobs over the smallest things and stuff)
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while i wouldnt necessarily disagree that childe seems to be on edge more so than usual (and he himself mentions being in a poor mood in act I) in the fontaine archon quest i do have to say i find it a little funny that theres people who think hes behaving, like, completely out of character in the court scene when he decides to go apeshit after being judged guilty by the justice.exe AI bot like.
did it somehow escape peoples memories that this man when presented with the idea that we as the traveler mightve tricked and gotten ahead of him with the geo gnosis just. entered a state of complete murderous rage leading to him activating foul legacy in the golden house. which actually ends up self-sabotaging his current objective more than anything bc unlike the clear way they struggled against childe before now the traveler just won by default by outlasting him
he mightve gotten over it fairly easily afterwards (in no small part bc traveler actually fought him which automatically translates to equal=respect=friend in his fucked up head) but childes been shown to be a highly dangerous individual with a massive ego prone to outburst in the heat of the moment when outplayed or his pride wounded before even when it isnt the smartest course of action like. this isnt new lmao.
getting accused of a crime he had never even heard of in a foreign nation he only recently arrived in and then sitting through all that court drama and being assured afterwards that he only needs to partake as a mere formality for declaring his innocence only to be somehow declared guilty by a machine is very much realistic grounds for childes patience to reach its breaking point if you ask me lol
#and if its about the like... civilians in the opera watching thing id like to remind ppl#that childes never raised any ethical issue or personal guilt relating to the endangering of innocents#childe dislikes involving the weak bc its something he considers as BENEATH himself as a warrior whod rather solve every problem w a 1v1#him going 'the weak of this world are so insignificant that no honorable fighter would pull them into matters beyond their ability'#isnt.... a moral stance jkwdjkdjkwjkdjkdkdw#so like no him choosing to activate foul legacy in front of a crowd doesnt necessarily ring ooc to me#just that hes decided its a means to an end situation where he cannot abide by his preferences#the same way he chose to revive osial despite his personal distaste for such methods because at the moment its what he had to fall back on#genshin#genshin spoilers /#rambles#childeposting#childe
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sota's brave confession of love being that episode:
[worth noting here that in the dub the way richard says "WHAT-ever..." priceless.]
[also worth noting that in the dub he says "you already said that" instead of "hah! what're you saying?!" which feels more like an inuyasha response to me. then again we'll never know since this is technically anime-only, and while i tend not to like a lot of inuyasha filler, if it's in the modern day i will eat it up. every. time.]
inuyasha being stunned by the sheer amount of goods in a grocery store...gold. earlier in this episode he also seemed enamored by baked goods, and i wonder if he's ever really had anything resembling it? bread made its way to japan mid-16th century via portuguese traders, so it's likely he's never had anything like it and the smell must've been new to him - it would've been interesting if we'd seen him trying all these new foods!
i can never decide whether or not sunrise likes inukag bc they'll cut out canon scenes of them but then insert scenes like this in their filler eps...what game are ya'll playing? but flustered inuyasha is adorable so i can't complain this time.
eavesdropping...
i'm sorry WHERE is he getting these questions from i actually burst out laughing
called out by an eight year old...
i don't care whether or not this is ooc because i laughed way too hard like he really got dragged from potential sleep to deal with this LMAO
this is the cutest thing i've ever seen and it only gets better:
shortly after: sota getting kicked out of his own house after chickening out for the tenth time this episode
smol
flustered inukag my beloved...
anyway this episode is a dumb fun and i love it to an insane degree. the only part i would say is out of character (at least, more out of character than sunrise already does inuyasha) is when he literally makes this face at the thought of confessing to kagome:
coming from the guy who was pretty open about his feelings in the manga and quite literally told kagome - thinking she was hearing him - that he likes seeing her smile and feels relieved when he's by her side, i don't see him getting this flustered - but the face he makes is priceless.
#the amount of times i've rewatched this episode can't be counted tbh#i loved seeing inukag try to help sota confess with various methods#from kagome dressing him up to inuyasha “training” him#they hyped him up soo bad this ep lmao#too bad it didn't pay off since he interrupted them like five seasons later#there's another scene where inuyasha and kagome are like “why doesn't he just get over himself and confess” which in isolation is funny#but when i think about it they weren't even that dense in the manga it's literally only anime inukag w/ this problem#which is another sunrise addition that nobody asked for#so i didn't include that here bc after reading panels of inukag being in an almost pseudo relationship it's so jarring going back to this#will they wont they thing like nooo sir#anyway enough tag rambling#inuyasha#inuyasha a feudal fairy tale#inuyasha anime#inukag#kagome higurashi#sota higurashi#kagome#inuyasha x kagome
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[ID: three drawings of Five, out of uniform and with slightly longer hair than usual (implied to be post-s3).
In one, he is wearing a trench coat over a suit and sunglasses, and drinking a giant coffee.
In another he is seated at a table looking at a mint chocolate chip milkshake but not eating it. He has his head propped up in one hand and looks tired. He is wearing a blue long sleeved shirt under an oversized, lighter blue t shirt, and cargo shorts. He has a giant ring of keys clipped to one of his belt loops. His hands are wrapped in bandages.
In the last, he is wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and is head down, arms sprawled on a table over several sheets of paper. He is surrounded by a stack of books and two cups of coffee. End ID.]
some light s4 speculation- probably five continues to be very tired but he gets to pick his own clothes about it! in drawing this i convinced myself that five should get to have a trench coat, and also that he should have a giant carabiner clip of keys - for all his siblings' living situations so he can break into their house at a moment's notice, and also steal their car.
#tua#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#comic five gets to wear a trench coat i think show five should too#you can tell those are keys because i told you and not because i bothered to make them look like keys even a little. sowwy#the actual reason i think he should have all those keys is bc i want him to refuse to actually pick a sibling to live with#he is making himself All of their problems#maybe he is kind enough to provide them with a schedule. and maybe he is not#thats of course assuming they stay in each others orbit and dont fuck off into the corners of the earth like s3 implies that they do#but that bums me out we're 2012 avengers tower fandoming this shit#and as is tradition i almost forgot#my art
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just think itd be funny if they met irl
#thpff#byakuya togami#happy birthday byakuya btw#dont have time for anything polished so uhhhh old doodle go#thp byakuya: this is what i should be. this is what was taken from me. all it took was one loss and i have become a shell of myself.#canon byakuya: what the hell is your problem#thp byakuya doesnt look exactly like this at the current point in the fic (around chap 20) but! who knows! he might soon :)))))#love taking my fave chars and locking them in a washing machine! love putting them through stress and trauma!!#canon byakuya havng his ghost of christmas present moment. get dickens'd idiot#i will never draw the other eye#thp byakuya isn't eating as much bc of repeat headaches/nausea from his vision hence the weight loss#also has been losing motivation to keep himself looking as cleaned up as he normally i.e: he fucked up shaving so he gave up#is generally a lot more paranoid and untrusting of his surroundings. he just has a lot going on#soooo much fun drawing him fucked up and shaken i think it should happen more often tbh#my arts
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That bit in the comics where Rose is only wearing a bed sheet in her dream so Morpheus shows up in an emo bed sheet and shows some skin. Solidarity, equality, 10/10 no notes
#Mr. Bees reads Sandman#Yes I'm 30 years late yes I'm reading it cuz the show slapped what you gonna do#Tbh I struggle with comics a bit bc I read them quickly/don't appreciate the pictures enough bc of the speed read instinct#Like I don't particularly enjoy books that power through events too quickly bc I get left behind/lose immersion#And comics for me generally are that problem to the nth degree#So they're not my media of choice#But I am enjoying it#(Morpheus shows some skin on many other occasions btw but this defo felt like a solidarity move on his part)#(it's actually wild that post-ep 1 TV Morpheus covers himself as much as he does)#(petition to get some of the sexy one-shoulder looks into season 2)#mr. bees speaks#the sandman
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Worst things GOT did casting wise:
- making Dany too beautiful (+ styling her in a way that she never has a hair out of place, always wears BLUE - which makes her look peaceful and soft and angelic, not making her burn her hair off etc). I just think of that one official art piece that's in the illustrated AGOT book where dany is bald, with the dragons and sparks and frames around her and its so striking instead of the "beautiful angelic blonde women stand empowered with her tits out" scene we got
- casting Iain Glen as Jorah and not like. a random Lannister (like. Come on. He is a burly and ugly man... why are you casting one of the most beautiful men to play him.... this is how we ended up with dany/jorah shippers)
-making Joffrey too unattractive (this is not meant to disparage JG who is a great actor and seems like a really cool dude and i'm not saying he's ugly but I think from his very first scene Joffrey looks very punchable and it would have been so much smarter to make the audience .. relate to Sansa's infatuation with his golden looks. In my head (and in all the official art) Joffrey looks like a male version of cersei/a younger version of Jaime.)
- making Dany, Jon, Robb, Marg, Brienne etc 10+ years older than Sansa and the younger starklings .... It's not "the main characters and arya (who is so cool and can kill people) + the little children" it's ONE AGE group of equally important characters
Like I know people are upset at Ned/Jon etc being too attractive, WHICH I GET, but I feel like those were very vibe based casting decisions and i'm ultimately fine with that (I also think it's easier for the audience to root for someone if they're attractive so like. I guess they had to do it) but these other things resulated in people's perception of the characters being so wildly different from what they're supposed to be. The real reason people get so angry whenever someone says they wish tamzin had stayed is because they don't like the idea of daenerys not being this ethereal beauty (TM is beautiful but not in a conventional way) that they can fully root for without issue.
1. NO YOU ARE SOOOOOO RIGHT ABOUT THEM REFUSING TO LET DANY LOOK UGLY. it’s not to say tamzin isn’t clearly beautiful, but i think she’s beautiful in the same way gwendoline christie is, which is that she’s very striking and she has a strong presence but she’s not exactly what people picture when they say “typical hot lady” (which is Crazy these are all able bodied white women, like the definition of “beauty” is soooooo fuckijg narrow that tamzin merchant is ~atypically beautiful) vs emilia definitely is, and YES like everything from not burning her hair off to emilia being,,,,,fuller in figure than dany as a fourteen year old would be is just very clear that they saw dany different than the way she is On The Page. i mean i know people whack george for saying that she’s like a sexy funny lady or whatever but george never lets go of the fact that she’s incredibly young whereas d&d completely miss that part of her character.
i will say i Get the criticism of tamzin perhaps not picking up on the conlangs easily because one thing you can say for emilia is that she had a decent head for the conlangs, she’s even still partially fluent in dothraki lmaooo. but all the other stuff they said about why they recast dany it’s like. hmmmmmmmmmm.
2. absolutely right about iain especially because he’s similar to idk paddy in that he’s got CHARISMA but unlike viserys, they didn’t intent to portray him as a deeply flawed, antagonistic character they went in portraying him as like an objectively Good Guy dedicated to dany. he’s just so much less creepy and pushy in the show and has several scenes where he shows some moral backbone - that “yet here you stand” “yet here i stand” scene is sooooooo good for example, the fact that he actually apologizes for spying on dany, giving him the greyscale story & not having him fuck a valyrian looking woman in a brothel 💀, etc etc - and you also just lose some of the creepiness here because emilia is clearly a grown if young woman and ian is handsome, so it’s like. welll of Course you want to root for them to be together! and never mind that this is a Massive departure from their book characterizations!! again, they have this idea of jorah in their head that doesn’t match up with what’s on the page even a little.
3. i do get your point re: joffrey and i think this is my problem with aidan as littlefucker too - they’re too obviously villains and it makes ned and sansa look stupid. like, in the books we have that moment where robb almost decks joffrey which does seem to signal something bad but the crown prince being full of himself doesn’t mean he’s going to threaten his betrothed’s sister with a sword then get his ass handed to him by a toddler. in the show we get QUITE a number of scenes where joffrey is shown to be a brat AND as you say, just like aidan, jack has a Certain Look, he looks like a shitty jock who has allegations against him ajsjdj like irl when jack smiles he’s so adorable!! but in the show they REALLY play up his ability to channel a greasy aura ya know aksjd. when the point of asoiaf is often that villains don’t LOOK like villains, but some of our Main Villains clearly resemble typical villains in the show.
4. “it’s ONE age group of characters” NO YOU ARE SO RIGHT. like, there’s several years difference from robert to ned to cat to the twins to tyrion but they’re all the same generation of characters. there’s that exact same age difference from brienne to robb, dany, jon to sansa, arya, bran, with theon kind of similar to characters like jorah, who are old enough to remember The Before Times but aren’t quite in either generation. but because they wanted dany, brienne, jon, robb, and margaery to be more of a Typical archetype rather than an exploration of that archetype, they aged everyone up and essentially invented another generation between the “adult” characters and the “kid” characters. not to be super nerdy here but one of my favorite worked shoots in wrestling is one cody rhodes did where he was ranting about the way young wrestlers get put through the grinder and he has this amazing line where he sums it up as “old men talking, young men dying” and it’s not to say there aren’t a lot of old dudes Also dying lmao but you really see this where young leaders are often unprepared for their responsibilities and used as puppets by older men and you just MISS THAT when that whole generation is so grown!
it’s like they looked at those themes of war being terrible and all consuming and brutal no matter how justified you feel you are and went “wow war is brutal 😍” LIKE PLEASE????
#asks#anti game of thrones#anti d&d#anons#also i know famous wrestler cody rhodes is not the first person to say something akin to that#but bc i am a nerd. he’s always the first person i think of bc his acting was amazing in that scene lmao aksjsjs#i think he was channeling some real frustration and anger there as someone from a wrestling family and as someone frustrated#with his own booking. ntm the run ins with injury and Death he personally had. and all this being passed down by vince’s old ass.#i think that wrestling problem where multiple generations of a family are mistreated by some old man making money.#is actually not dissimilar from the problems in asoiaf we see.#like tyrion even says himself! back and back and back it goes.#and for what? for why? robb is so young. ned is so young.#just something that feels completely missed by the show!#and here cody rhodes is feeling it in real life akskskdjd
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i might be a little bit insane. i did this in 3 days. for some reason. season 9 needless dramatization of the ren doc rivalry arc that literally hasnt happened yet and might not at all. has me in a chokehold. someone put these furries in therapy (animatic)
#scribbles#doc#docm77#ren#rendog#rentheking#hermitcraft#yeah theres a lot of stuff in this animatic i tried to convey but im not sure it quite came through#ren is like...... Aware that doc raising hell is kind of partially his fault but hes also desperately trying to absovlve himself of blame#the beacon thing is a riff on bdubs saying it could be some kind of 'mood ring or a status indicator or something' not verbatim but he said#- smth like that and i was like ok well what if red meaint HOLY FUCK THERE ARE PROBLEMS#mostly bc it looks cool#and doc is just being doc. he is regretful but also no hes not. overkill IS his second name
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and i think what really gets me about it is how grounded in reality this is. he likes a kids show. he’s horribly embarrassed and hates himself for indulging in something so seemingly stupid and childish and he should grow up and be presentable and be an adult and leave that stuff behind and it’s like. he just enjoys a kids show. idk smth smth about this feeling like a very real and honest portrayal of something that seems silly but in reality hurts so bad when it actually happens
#bc like. having your interests made fun of isn’t ever really seen as THAT big of a deal#esp if your interests are smth silly or immature#but to be rejected in that way and deny that part of yourself feels so so awful#and i really appreciate takamatsu treating this like a serious problem#showing us how even if in the grand scheme of things#kazakami being told he’s being childish and hiding his interests isn’t THAT bad or anything#it still deeply affects him and has altered how he presents himself and interacts with others#and he probably will always have to work on not feeling ashamed#anyway. guy who got viciously made fun of for their interests to the point that it was#extremely traumatic voice. i don’t care#stl spoilers#skip and loafer#mine
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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 6)
I think the main thing we were supposed to see as Star's character flaw wasn't that he was acting proud/arrogant/reckless/badass (I mentioned that it's fine for him to act that way because he deserved it after everything good he did and obviously I still mean it 110%), but how that proud, charming guy was never the real him. He literally lost himself trying to feel worthy and please everyone in town. For years he's been acting the role (for a noble cause) but the price was him losing touch with the nerd he is.
Yet STILL, if only everyone had been a bit more gentle with him, I bet he'd have toned it down during the WE section, and even before that. But they all decided to let him know the truth at the worst possible time, right when he was supposed to make Clover his deputy. Right after they attacked the kid because they were jealous. It was supposed to be the PEAK of Starlo's day and they randomly threw the "we never liked any of this" bomb at him instead of trying to talk it out BEFORE things escalated. I'd be pissed too.
Oh yeah...
... his brother doesn't take him seriously apparently and doesn't realize that staying positive and strong 24/7 is tougher than it looks, especially with Starlo's insecurities (and yeah being a farmer is hard work, but so is being in Star's position; on the contrary, it's even TOUGHER) ...
Orion should try being an entertainer for a day and see what it's like, let alone doing it for years
...Solomon says how Star thought him and Crestina didn't support his life choices...
... and how he rarely talks to his family...
...and it suddenly came to me: in all these years, they didn't ever bother telling him that they did support him? They didn't bother trying to reach out to him more? Understand his passion (Ceroba doesn't get it either; once again, I don't blame Starlo for caring about Clover so much, that kid understood)? Have an honest talk?
No wonder Star stopped interacting with them for the most part. Maybe him feeling worthless came from his family? Who knows (or he was bullied as a kid for being a nerd). In any case, he clearly had to deal with these feelings by himself.
This man's been through some stuff.
P.S. I know he has flaws like everyone, but you've gotta ask yourself the important question: WHY? where did all this come from? But clearly nobody in his life ever asked themselves this. So it all kept building up till he almost killed his deputy for... status. He was SO desperate to feel valued and get his friends back (who made him feel less alone.. but ultimately just left when he needed someone the most, at least ONE person) that he was ready to go all the way to achieve what he'd been lacking his entire life: *feeling like he MATTERED.*
I wonder If he'll ever go 100% back to being his true self. Slim chances :'( this is him now. Half farmer half sheriff
#undertale yellow#uty#starlo uty#uty starlo#why is this character so tragic#without being tragic#i mean the “Ceroba” type of tragic#I'm no psychologist but I sure know feelings like this stem from childhood/adolescence#I'm talking bout the fact starlo literally decided that his life purpose would be pretending to be a sheriff. I repeat. PRETENDING#aka someone important#bc he never felt important#he tried lying to everybody and especially himself#that he was 'great' and 'cool'#bc nobody ever made him feel that way#plus ceroba ditched him for someone more 'serious' she had just met#I have to write about the sentence above soon#like I'm not saying Solomon & crestina are terrible people#But parents..?#Wellll...#I kinda sometimes imagine Star being made fun of by his peers and so he'd always retreat to his room and cry alone#That is#Until he found those western cassettes (I imagine it happened when he was a teen)#So instead of crying#He'd just distract himself for hours and hours#And pretend he was someone with more value who everyone respected#That's how the persona came to be#And so he began to lose touch with his real self more and more#As well as his feelings and problems#Until he just snapped#I can't anymore
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hmmm something about dominik haunting the narrative in king of scars. everything nikolai does is at least a little bit for him. he learns about the life of average ravkan people by meeting dominik's family. he starts gaining influence in politics just so he can improve dominik's life. and then he promises dominik that he won't let ravka break him.
that promise fucking haunts him. it follows him wherever he goes. it's the driving force behind everything he does, every step he takes to heal the centuries-old wounds in ravka. it's what drives him to do better, be better.
dominik is always there, in the back of his mind: this country gets you in the end. always pushing him to do more, because he couldn't save dominik and so he has to save ravka (for dominik) (because he promised) (because he loved him)
#my spicy hot take is that nikolai's relationship with dominik actually affects the narrative of the duology more than -#- his relationship with zoya does#you could argue that *none* of the events of the duology would have happened without dominik's influence#and honestly zoyalai as a relationship doesn't really affect the narrative/plotline all that much#which is One of the problems i have with it being endgame#anyway yes i am writing an angsty nikolai backstory fic why do you ask?#it's mostly about how he reinvents himself at every minor inconvenience (but also how incredibly fucked up his childhood was)#and if i have the energy it might turn into a rewrite of the ending of rule of wolves#bc him giving up the throne just plays into that pattern of running away#so honestly i think it's not a great ending in terms of his arc and character development#this may just be a me thing idk but i just feel like he doesn't actually get that much development in the duology#bc there's this idea of him as being Perfect and Invulnerable and Not Affected By His Trauma#which. is not the case.#it's all very dear reader (taylor swift) imo#ANYWAY#mayhem.txt#mayhem grishaverse originals#nikolai lantsov#shadow and bone#king of scars#grishaverse
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I think we should be way more focused on the fashion choices of the rvb characters in their retirement— these are adults who have not dressed themselves in anything but army clothes and armor for upwards of fifteen years, they’re gonna be BAD
#rvb#red vs blue#simmons is over here like fuck I haven’t bought clothes since I transitioned?!?#grif refuses to put even the slightest effort into it which means DONUT is doing the clothes shopping and he only is like nah#this has to change after donut has slowly replaced all his shirts with crop tops#SPEAKING OF DONUT he clearly has no problems just being naked! we know this!#caboose gets freckles and himself matching shirts#everyone has to stay color coded bc Sarge can and will shoot anyone he decides that he doesn’t recognize#Carolina is so fucking pissed at pants sizes as we all are#tucker and donut are fighting. about everything
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