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sanstropfremir · 2 years

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I don’t know if you’re already aware of them but I came across a group called TAN with their debut song du du du (they were formed out of a show called extreme debut:wild idol). I’m OBSESSED with the song for some reason and wanted your thoughts on the music video.

tan my second gen flop group reject beloveds......... you're obsessed with the song bc it's fucking GOOD that's why!!!! also i was not kidding they are hardcore channelling second gen with everything they've fucking got: from the song itself (r&b is decidedly not on trend rn) to the fact that the mv was filmed with $12 but they refused to use any location filming that would smooth out the rough edges to the prop based choreo to the STYLING!!!!!!!!! it is absolutely not reflected in the mv at all but all their music show stages are based around this black/white/gradiant duality styling that is soooooooooooooooo 'we have $8 and some pocket lint and a stray safety pin but by god we're gonna make this work' of second gen like my eyes blew out of my head every new stage i watched. like look at this!:

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if someone had told me that was from 120322 instead of from 220312 i would have wholecloth believed them. the only thing that gives them away is that there isn't enough eyeliner. the ONLY thing. and i'm not even joking this is not at all a one off, this was a dedicated intentional choice that they upheld for their ENTIRE promo period:

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but by far my favourite is 220326 music core where they have GRADIENT TUXEDOS!!!!!!! actually my other favourite is this gradient pink inkigayo stage, because obviously. it would have been so easy for their stylists to just slap some generic fourth gen type normal clothes on them (which to an extent they did do in the mv), but instead they really dug into this old style coordinating + themed outfits. the mv struggles a bit because there are a lot of ideas happening but see also aforementioned budget of $12. obviously companies wanna put out something big for a debut mv so i don't fault them there but i think they should have encorporated more of the opposites theme of the styling+choreo into the visuals of them mv itself. they could have done a lot more with light/dark imagery and with the umbrella in the choreo they could have gone for a gentleman/'kingsmen' concept that would have been a lot cleaner of a visual and also would smooth over some of the visual discrepency between the fact that one of the members first debuted TEN YEARS AGO and the maknae is still 17, and they can't really do the sexy second gen concept i think they were partially trying to go for. the gratuituous ass shot of taehoon was extremely funny though. you can do very stylized mvs for cheap (see my cheap mvs post!) and i think if they had done something similar to knk's sunset or even oneus' valkyrie (speaking of other insanely good debuts) where there's a heavy emphasis on lighting and camera angles and editing, it would have made much more of an impact. the less money you have to work with the harder it becomes to make maximalist decorated sets work, and sometimes you do have to sacrifice in some areas. regardless of that though i think their debut was success and if you haven't listened to the rest of their mini you should because all the songs fuck (i really hope we get a comeback from them because i want the second half of fix you so bad) and it's very pretty clear that they're all talented and have the vocal chops to back themselves up; see this acapella cover!!

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anyways i'll leave y'all with this parting meme that i made when they first debuted:

#kpop questons #tan w #tan #peep jaejun holding the younger members hands in the foreground of that acapella mv he knows what he is doing!!#they put him in the centre for a reason!!#jaejun 🤝 eunkwang in love poem: handholding the babies #i have been saying for years at this point that oneus is the closest anyone has got to filling vixx's shoes #and that's all the way down to being essentially a soft second gen reboot styling #valkyrie is basically what i would have expected the dududu mv to look like if i had only seen the stages #im saying this like valkyrie didnt cost like a million dollars i bet she was SO expensive #with that giant custom stage/lighting cube shape thing #oh maybe a better example would have been onlyoneof mvs. theyre really good at style #text #answers #by hook or by crook we're gonna keep u employed jaejun!!! third time's the charm!!!!!#i say that like he isn't employed as an actual producer lmao #the whiplash i felt when i found out he debuted in c clown. i cannot explain. like physical neck cracking happened #this poor mf has debuted in THREE groups and he's only a 97line. insanity #imo the english version of dududu is better than the kr version on the whole BUT it does not have jooan's sexy growl #so therefore they are equal. and no i am not going to talk about how it was my second most played song in march

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alocon · 2 months

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A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be [6] - Max Verstappen

written by alocon

Note: Name and Part One based on the song A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be by Jess Benko

Summary: After a lot of rumours on twitter, all is revealed in an episode of your podcast

Before you read: Use of Y/N (sorry!!), angst (kind of), THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT. LIST BELOW, PLEASE BE WARNED THAT IT WILL CONTAIN CHAPTER SPOILERS. Look after yourself

WARNINGS: Discussion of pregnancy, loss of a child, and other difficult subjects such as mental health and cheating

NOTE: There is social media at the end which is important to the story but I can summarise at the start of the next chapter so don't worry if you can't read this, you will get a summary next chapter x

fc: Blanca Soler

[Previous Part Here][The Masterlist]

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be [Part Six] - MV¹

youruser

liked by maxverstappen1 and others

youruser: Hi all! I know that recently there have been a lot of rumours about the end of the 2018 season and my break up with Max, as well as allegations of me cheating on him. I have already discussed these rumours and clearly stated that it is not true, as has Max. However, I feel that you still haven't been given enough of an explanation on the situation as a whole and I am finally in a situation where I am able to talk about it. I am making this post for a fair warning that this episode of my podcast will contain themes which may be sensitive to some individuals. The warning list is written below...see more

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maxverstappen1: Proud of you for being able to discuss that

youruser: Thank you Max

user1: Any guests or just you?

youruser: Me, Max, Charles, Seb and Kimi

user2: Not her trying to make money out of this situation

youruser: As has been stated since I started my podcast in 2018, all money goes straight to charity. Earnings from this week's episode goes to The Pregnancy Association of Europe, a charity that looks into why pregnancy goes wrong, if there is a way to prevent it and gets help for those who suffer loss during pregnancy. (A/N: MADE UP CHARITY FOR THE STORY X)

charles_leclerc: Might've cried a little bit whilst filming this, but I think we all did.

maxverstappen1: I did

----

Pole Position Podcast - Episode 75: Let’s Talk Babies w. KR7, SV5, CL16 and MV33

Y: YOU, M: MAX, C: CHARLES, S: SEB, K: KIMI

The podcast started off with Seb sitting in the middle of the sofa. There were two people sitting beside him: Charles and Max. Then, on one of the mini seats to one side of the sofa was Kimi and to the other was an empty seat for you, you were behind the camera.

Y: This is a very different episode of the podcast. Right, can we check our audio syncs up before we start?

You placed your headphones on, counting down for everyone to clap. They did and the audio synced up perfectly from each mic. You returned to your seat. The table, which was usually bare apart from the notes from the episode, including questions and other things, had no paper, instead having a variety of foods. You looked at the camera.

Y: Alright, hello everyone. Welcome to the Pole Position podcast. Hope you’re all doing well. This is episode 75 and I am here with four lovely people, rather than one or two like I usually do. So, one by one would you guys like to introduce yourselves? Char maybe it’s best if you start because you’ve done this many times before?

C: *he nodded* Hello everyone, I’m Charles Leclerc. I am a Formula One driver who drives for Scuderia Ferrari. I’ve been on this podcast a lot. I’m basically the co-host at this point.

You chuckled

M: Hi, I’m Max Verstappen, I am a Formula One driver who drives for Red Bull, and a 3 time world champion.

S: I’m Sebastian Vettel, a retired Formula One driver who has driven for BMW Sauber, Toro Rosso, Red Bull, Ferrari and Aston Martin. I am a 4 time world champion.

K: And I’m Kimi Raikkonen, also a retired Formula One driver who has driven for McLaren, Ferrari (twice), Lotus and Alfa Romeo… Did I miss one?

Y: Sauber, right? When they were sponsored by Red Bull and Petronas?

K: How did you remember that and I didn’t? You’re basically a child.

Y: How am I the child here, both of those two are younger than me.

C: Wait, we are?

M: Yes??? She’s August 23rd, I’m September 30th, you’re October 16th.

C: 1997? *He looked at you, still confused*

Y: Yes, how did you not know that? We’ve known each other since we were 3, Charles.

C: I thought you were ‘98 for some reason.

K: Come on, even I knew that.

You clapped your hands, getting everyone’s attention.

Y: Right, back on track. Today’s episode is a more emotional one. As you know, when I started my podcast, I didn't really properly explain why I started it. I kind of summarised it, I think I said that it was something recommended by my therapist to talk about life. But I’ve never really used it to talk about the deep stuff. So today we’re going to talk about why I actually started this podcast and what happened in late 2018.

Y: I know people will be wondering why I need 4 other people to explain this with me. After the end of 2018, my brain kind of suppressed most of the more minor details and stuff so some of it I don’t remember much of, which is why these 4 are here, to kind of put all of the pieces together. So… Where do we start? With the breakup or the tests?

C: What one happened first?

M: You told me that the tests happened on Thursday evening so maybe the breakup.

Y: Alright. Max, do you want to take the lead on this one?

He nodded.

M: Alright so I broke up with Y/N on the Thursday morning before the Brazilian Grand Prix in 2018, aka Media Day. In hindsight, that was a really shitty thing to do. Everyone was really surprised by it because I absolutely was a dickhead when we split up. However, what I should’ve done is been completely honest and discussed my reasoning. I broke up with Y/N because my dad threatened me with an inappropriate sexual photo of her which he had somehow got his hands on. Likely egged on by Christian. I didn’t know how he got his hands on it, I don’t know what happened, but he had threatened to have it leaked if I didn’t break up with her, so I deemed it for the best and I did it. But the real issue was that I didn’t tell her why. I didn’t keep her in my life, I completely pushed her away. Again, a beyond stupid mistake, possibly the worst of my life.

Y: Yeah, so that happened, it impacted me pretty badly.

S: I think that’s an understatement there, no?

K: Just a bit. I remember her completely breaking down to me over it straight after it happened because she didn’t want to worry you two and she didn’t want to ruin Max’s friendship with Charles.

Seb, Charles and Max all looked at you. This was new information for the three of them.

M: I’m still, genuinely really sorry about that. I feel so bad about the way I did it.

Y: Max I’ve already forgiven you for it.

M: And yet I will apologise until the day we die if you let me.

C: ANYWAYS, so then in the evening I get a text from her basically saying “Hey, can you come over, it’s kind of important.” And I know this woman’s tendency to underreact in situations so when she said kind of, I took it as “likely very important” and headed straight there.

Y: Do I underreact or do you overreact?

M: Both

K: Both

S: Both

Y: Great.

You reached for a tortilla chip that was in a bowl on the table and took a bite after dipping it in salsa.

Y: So Charles comes over, asks what's wrong without hesitating. I didn’t even get a hi out, just opened the door and boom. Question. So I explained to him how I had been feeling kind of weird and I’d been feeling sick and tired all the time but it had been happening for a couple weeks and I knew it wasn’t sickness. That’s as far as I remember before the tests.

C: So I was like “oh, that’s weird. Have you had your period recently?” You said no but it didn’t usually anyway, I don’t know how it works.

Y: Basically, a side effect of the contraceptive pill that I take is that it stops my period. So either way I wouldn’t know just from that sign.

M: You still take it?

Y: Yeah, I do.

M: Are you actually getting laid?

Y:... Anyways, moving on.

Max laughed at that as Charles continued talking.

C: So, because it would probably cause some media attention if she went to buy tests or I went, we asked Hanna to and she was more than happy to. So she and Seb came over with pregnancy tests and dinner and like a LOT of ice cream just in case because we decided that we can risk our trainers yelling at us to cheer her up. I was not aware that her and Max had broken up by this point. I don’t think any of us except those two were.

K: And me.

C: And Kimi.

S: So anyways, me and Hanna come over and we sit on the bed and talk whilst Y/N is downing water like there is no tomorrow, you know, so she could take the tests. And then she did the tests and we spent the next 5 minutes talking whilst we ate some of our food and then she checked the test and she was pregnant. We were all happy for her because, and correct me if I’m wrong here, guys, weren’t you two like kind of casually trying at this point?

Max looked at you and you smiled, indicating that he could answer.

M: Kind of. We were to the point where we wouldn’t complain about being parents so it was a kind of situation of “if it happens, it happens but if not, so what”.

C: So then she got a little upset and we were like “why are you sad, weren’t you guys okay if this happened?” and that’s when she told us that they had split up earlier that day. So, really, like god awful timing.

Y: The rest of that evening was just kind of like them cheering me up. I tried to contact Max but he had blocked me, which I didn’t really understand at that point.

M: It was so I could not call or text because I didn’t want the photo to be leaked.

You nodded.

Y: So I think it was me, Charles, Seb, Hanna, Kimi, Minttu, Lew, and Val, except Lewis and Valtteri didn’t actually know. The others did though. I think, before this podcast gets released, the only people who know are the people here, Christian Horner, Fred Vasseur, Hanna, Minttu, my mother…

M: Christian knew?

Y: Yeah, we’ll get into that later, though. And Fred knew because I had to call him to be like “I have to go to the hospital about this tomorrow, I can’t race this weekend. And he’s family to me. So rather than racing, I went to the hospital. Hanna and Minttu came with me. Turns out I was 8 weeks along. I was like “shit, if I have this baby I’m going to miss so much racing” but apparently I was safe to drive after the 20 week mark until like the start of the 8th month as long as I was more careful than usual and got check ups after every race. SO overall I would’ve missed maybe like 6 races, so I was like, right. I should tell Christian, you know? Warn him. So I told Christian and he instantly started complaining, being like “What if this what if that? This is why we should’ve hired a man to drive”, that kind of stuff. But I think that was the heat of the moment. But then he doesn’t change and he tells my mother for some reason because he knows her and she kicks off and basically disowns me and tells me that I am not making a good choice and that I’m crazy and stuff. Fun. Anyways, going into December, I was really really overwhelmed. I don’t know what it was like from an outside perspective but it was shit from mine.

K: Terrifying.

You all turned to look at Kimi. The entire 20 minutes of the podcast so far, he hadn’t had much to say, which you got because he’s Kimi Raikkonen.

K: From an outsider perspective it was terrifying. From my perspective, at least. Seeing the way you were so stressed and you wouldn’t eat as much. You were no longer happy, you were constantly anxious, even about how you looked, if people could tell, if you weren’t looking as nice even though you looked fine. It was really scary seeing you go down such a path, especially after everything your mother said to you.

You sniffled slightly, getting emotional as you never really publicly opened up about this stuff. Charles and Seb agreed at this point.

Y: So then, a couple weeks into December, I can’t remember the exact date.

C: December 11th.

Y: December 11th, I was feeling strange. I had really bad stomach pain. Like awful. I just figured, for some reason, that it was because of the fact I hadn’t eaten much yet that day so I decided to sleep it off, see if I felt better in the morning. And, before we get into this, this may be slightly graphic and it’s a lot more graphic than I described to Max and Seb and Kimi so please be warned. I wake up in the morning, about 3am. And I sat up in my bed and I felt something wet on my lower body. So I was like “What the fuck” and I turn on the light and, uhm.

You paused, taking a deep breath in an attempt not to cry. You felt a hand slip into yours and squeeze. You looked to see Max looking at you with those soft, beautiful eyes. He was looking at you in the most gentle of ways. You felt yourself tipping over the edge slightly, voice cracking as you began to speak again.

Y: I turned on my light and I just saw red. Like, my bedsheets, which were usually white, were just red. Everything was red. I don’t remember too much after that, other than just feeling numb. Charles had been staying with me at that point. Max had just moved out and Charles’ apartment had flooded so I invited him to stay in my house until the apartment was sorted. I don’t really remember much, I don’t know if you do, Char.

C: I do. May I?

You nodded.

C: So I wake up because I hear a scream. Like not a happy one. Just a shocked sounding scream. So of course I went straight into her room to see if she was okay and the lower half of her bed was covered in blood, her shorts, her legs were all just covered in blood. It was, excuse the explanation, like something out of a horror movie. And she just… kind of sat there. Frozen. It was like she couldn’t move or speak, she just sat there. Kind of void of all emotion on her face other than her crying. I remember taking her phone and calling her baby doctor person, because she gave her phone for emergencies. And she answered and I apologised for calling so late and explained the situation because of the amount of blood just… Didn’t look normal. And she said to take her to the hospital if I was concerned. So I did and we went to the hospital and they sorted everything out. I don’t remember exactly what it was but either way we went home and we spent the next week or so just camping in, eating junk food, trying to relax and at least attempting to be calmer. I think it wasn’t until the new year that you told Christian.

Y: Yeah, I started therapy like a week after the miscarriage. And then, on the 29th of December was when you two, Han and Mina found out, I think?

S: Yeah, I remember Hanna sitting down when we got there.

K: You being late, as usual

S: Yeah, yeah. So Hanna asked how you and nugget were, which is what we had nicknamed the baby and you just kind of cracked. You started crying and they asked what was wrong and that’s when you told us that you had miscarried. So we went out and tried to make sure you had the best day of your life.

Y: That’s where the photo came from as well. The photo of me and the “mystery guy” whose face was blanked out was just a photo of me and Charles hugging because I got a little upset. I will post the photo here and if you’re listening on Spotify or Apple music, the screenshot of the story with the date attached is on my Instagram story highlights.

Y: So then I told Christian and he told my mother once again and also then proceeded to use it against me. BUT that’s all we have time for today. If anyone wants, we can do an episode purely based on my RBR treatment. Just let us know. Have a lovely day, I’ve been your host Y/N and we will see you next time.

Max, Kimi, Seb and Charles all said goodbye before the episode ended.

-Word Count: 2.6k-

Hi all!! Here's part 6, more drama unfolding. This story will continue to slander Christian Horner btw. In this story he is an awful person because it made the plot better x Anyways hope you enjoyed Max going on a podcast (well, two) because she asked him to so it was worth going on. Have a good day x Alocon

Taglist: @c-losur3 @itsjustkhaos @reidsworld @d3kstar

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pixellangel · 2 months

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guys. i'm making an rpg.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so i bought rpg maker vx ace* and ive been coming up with a plot and characters!!!!! and im gonna make a video game!!!! aaaa!!!

its a meta little cyberpunk rpg starring you, the protagonist in someone else's body, and your allies V, Xenon, and Kori (names subject to change). infodump and some doodles under the cut read for a fun time :3

*edit: ill actually be doing it in rpg maker mv! vx is a little limited for the scope of what i want to do with this project

welcome to under the cut. here's thirty billion information for you. :D

essentially, the plot revolves around V and the player finding people who have been wronged by the Narrator, who bends the story to his own will to create a plot he enjoys, and how they want to shape their own destinies. your goal is to defeat the group of cybernetic monsters that he created as villains.

YOUR PARTY CONSISTS OF

- Sylvie (she/they): that's you! everyone calls you "Player," though. your body used to belong to V's childhood friend before the Narrator decided they were the perfect base for a protagonist. general all rounder in combat, with a basic sword for a weapon. you want to find out more about the Narrator's goals and what happened to V's friend. also, why are you "Sylvie?"

- V (she/her): a firey girl who can hear the Narrator speaking. she teaches the player how the world works, and is the first person they meet. uses two daggers in combat, efficient and quick fighter. immediately tells the player she plans not to befriend them. wants to fight the Narrator for taking her childhood friend away from her for the sake of a story.

- Xenon (he/they): wears a completely black mask with a white X on it to hide their identity. miraculously, this works despite their neon green hair. graffiti artist. medic in combat with both single and multi target heal skills. fights w/ a paintball gun. grew up in a cult that thinks death is such a natural part of life that it should never be prevented. became a medic as a type of rebellion against his cult.

- Kori (she/her): TINY GAL. HUGE HAMMER. VERY YELLOW. self explanatory combat - high attack, big damage, hits hard. not much else. she's actually super sweet, but the giant electric hammer she carries around makes her seem way scarier than she is. really really wants to be helpful. she lives in a town based around fighting and fight clubs, so she had to learn to defend herself to survive.

some doodles of V and Xenon :3

ill draw the whole lineup soon!!! :D

also if anyone wants more info or has questions PLEASE ASK!!! I LOVE LOREDUMPING!!! anyway my tag for this Huge Project is #pixell.rpg :3

#pixell.rpg #WAAAAHHHH IM HAVING FUN #please ask about my ocs i wanna talk about em #rpg maker #rpg #idk what to tag gang. lmao #lore dump #oc lore #game lore

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eternalgyu · 1 month

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ᯓ ✧ pookies

@slytherinshua: zanna⁉️ my soulmate ult bias favourite (and best) writer on this app and my bested friend ilysm <33

song that reminds me of u: dive with you - seori/eaJ (all of sepris songs basically sum up out whole friendship <33)

@blue-jisungs: axe⁉️ cutie patootie and super fun to talk too <33

song that reminds me of u: test me - xdinary heroes (our supervillain theme song)

@wheeboo: rania⁉️ another one of my favourite writers, (it feels illegal to enjoy ur angst) and yummy music taste 😋

song that reminds me of u: calla - wave to earth (favourite w2e stan)

@haecien: cien⁉️ founder of aoz frfr ty to u and zanna for helping me w &team names 💌

song that reminds me of u: firework - &team (very self explanatory i think <3)

@weird-bookworm: sky⁉️ talking to u on the server and collecting cards was/is super fun 💜

song that reminds me of u: take my hand - zb1 (pretty like sky!!)

@planetkiimchi: kimchi⁉️ we haven't talked much yet (my fault im horrible at talking to ppl 😭) but u seem super sweet and dream stans r so slay 🫶

song that reminds me of u: broken melodies - nct dream

@minholing: jen⁉️ ik u won't see this for a while but ur super super sweet watching mvs w u and zanna was so fun, i'll miss u :(((

song that reminds me of u: mixtape time out - stray kids

@evalevaeva: eva⁉️ favourite jihoon stan omg (pls dont write anymore weak hero angst 💔)

song that reminds me of u: talk saxy - riize (simply eva)

@mei-yoi: mei⁉️ one of my 1st friends on here 🫶 yoi squad leader frfr

song that reminds me of u: lips - ive

@welcometomyoasis: shu⁉️ we don't know eachother too well yet but tysmm for sending in an ask 😭😭 lyyy

song that reminds me of u: april shower - seventeen

@ywnzn: kyura ⁉️ LITERALLY TWINNNN I love ur eunseok smau sm pls don't die 🥹

song that reminds me of u: automatic - nomad (I listened to it sm while talking to u hehe)

@sunwoolvr4life: fiyah⁉️

song that reminds me of u: rat in the trap - the boyz

@fairyhaos: yena⁉️

song that reminds me of u: double take - dhruv (esp shua's coverr)

@mirxzii: roxie⁉️

song that reminds me of u: fast pace - seventeen

@etherealyoungk: skye⁉️

song that reminds me of u: zombie - day6

@rubywonu: nia⁉️

song that reminds me of u: maniac - viviz

#hannie yaps ✮⋆˙#i love all of u even if u werent mentioned #it may be because idk u that well yet :((#zanna ᥫ᭡#rania ᥫ᭡#axe ᥫ᭡#mei ᥫ᭡#cien ᥫ᭡#sky ᥫ᭡#kimchi ᥫ᭡#jen ᥫ᭡#eva ᥫ᭡#roxie ᥫ᭡#shu ᥫ᭡#yena ᥫ᭡#skye ᥫ᭡#nia ᥫ᭡#fiyah ᥫ᭡

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chiisana-lion · 7 months

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your posting intrigues me so i feel the need to ask. what is alien stage ?

EVIL FACE. okay its basically a korean series of MVs and songs by VIVINOS about this reality show set in space!! human "pets" owned by aliens are pit against each other in a singing competition to the death where upon defeat the losing contestant gets executed on the spot ^^ this here's the prologue introducing the main charas Mizi, Sua, Till, Ivan, Luka, and Hyuna, all 6 being contestants raised in ANAKT GARDEN essentially a music school of a sort for humans preparing them for the ALNST competitions!

youtube

honestly its a pretty quick binge as of rn maybe no more than half an hour since each song is abt 2 or so mins long (plus some extra lore videos)! Round 1 is between Mizi and Sua, childhood girlfriends, round 2 being Till's, 3 Ivan's and round 5 being Luka's debut (round 4 skipped for reasons). Hyuna as of rn doesn't have a song but her episode's lined up for the next one 👍 each mv has english captions too so !!!!

youtube

ok i dont want it to get too long so putting this under the cut but the first four are all acquainted w each other! mizi and sua having been close for years and loving each other dearly and till harboring an unrequited crush on mizi (with a futile attempt at conveying his feelings during round 2) and then ivan himself being in love with till (also unfortunately unrequited which hes perfectly aware of </3). luka was also the previous winner of ALNST so is a bit more seasoned than the rest! hyuna on the other hand not much is known about but she dropped out of the competition upon refusing to cooperate <333 you'll see a bit of her in round 5 and she and luka have Some sort of history which is yet to be revealed kdsgjjksdgjkgsd its. a Mess on top of the whole ?!??! alien stuff yeah its neat

#tried to keep it as short ajnd unbiased as possible but. yeah!! the songs and animation r all rly good and it absolutely obliterates me #i love tragic yuri </33333333 #IF YOU DO END UP GIVING IT A SHOT. HAVE FUN!!! i never thought id get so invested but alas i am. i very much am #alnst #asks #acanthemp3

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thinkin-bout-milgram · 2 years

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All Knowing and All Agony: Initial Thoughts

T/W: Mentions of murder, suicide, child neglect, animal death

I’d initially intended to write out a full theory after the drop, but there’s enough happening here that 1. I want to give myself enough time to fully dissect it and 2. I feel like I want to see more about the interview questions and such before making official calls/theories for the record books. So, for now, this is going to serve as a short little thought diary from the MV where I discuss all of the things I think are especially important.

I’ll be referencing my previous theory on Haruka, so if you haven’t seen the trial 1 theory or want to read it again, it’s linked here.

Anyways, there are a few things from the MV that I want to look through.

1. This better shows how Haruka got started in killing, as well as a more accurate kill count.

While before, it seemed like the only murders were the girl and the dog and the girl probably happened first, this MV challenges that. Here, it seems like the first violent act comes in a time where he’s frustrated from not feeling like his parents love him enough, and he smashes his fish tank with a tree branch. As the fish die out from lack of water, we move onto the next scene. However, it seems this spreads to many other animals: butterflies, cats, dogs, pretty much anything he has access to. They all seem like animals that people generally like, too; no one’s going to call Haruka a murderer for killing a mosquito or something.

We see many of these corpses in a shot at 2:07 where Haruka stands atop his chair:

There are three main things here: the dead animals, the brownish liquid, and the other inanimate objects. The brownish liquid, whatever it is, represents blood (Mercury thinks it’s just straight up blood, I thought it looked too orange and looked more like amber or something, but I don’t know what that would mean). It’s my belief that the other things are his “murder weapons.” We see him swing around a lamp at 0:48 in his initial burst of frustration; the tree branch falls into the fish tank and breaks it at 0:59; the frame in the background looks like one the butterflies hung in. I think all of the items relate to the animals he killed.

I also want to point out how he’s standing on the chair in this shot. It reminds me a lot of how cinema tends to depict people setting up to hang themselves. If my Haruka attempted suicide theory is right, it might be a hanging attempt rather than drowning. It’d still fit with the whole stress around the neck thing, and it would explain why the chair got so much focus in the MV when it doesn’t really seem to have any other plot meaning.

2. This video ends before the first one did, chronologically speaking.

I think that the murder at the very end of this video is the girl. Looking at the face shape, it doesn’t look like the mom’s.

But you know who that girl does look like?

This girl, from the first video, who I theorized Haruka killed. If I’m right, then everything that happened in this video with the animals led up to the moment here in the first MV where he kills her. Whether the dog he killed happened before or after that doesn’t really feel like it matters to me. What does matter, though, is the fact that whatever happened with Haruka strangling his younger self probably happened after the end of this MV. For the sake of constructing a timeline, I think the second MV (this one) happened basically entirely before Weakness with a small bit of overlap.

3. I’m still not quite sure what Haruka’s setting out to accomplish.

His motive is obvious; he wants attention. However, I struggle to figure out exactly how he’s planning to achieve it. Right now, my best theory is that whenever tragic events surround him, his mother comforts him (”there there, my good boy!”). Thus, by creating tragic events, his mom shows him love again, fitting with his goal of “I will definitely make you love me again” (and emphasized by “I will keep on killing to be a good boy”).

The root cause is obviously parental attention. I still do believe that, before any of the killing started, he wasn’t given enough attention/love by his parents because of some developmental disability he has. However, it’s clear that things spiraled after that, and towards the end of this MV, we see his mom reject him because of what he’s done, not what he can’t accomplish.

4. For voting, we DEFINITELY need to be cautious of how he interacts with Mu.

That much was clear from the moment they started hanging around each other, though I think it’s interesting that the Milgram writers seem to be giving us an even clearer hint than before.

I’m certain this “misspelling” of dream was intentional. That’s leaving Mu’s name in the lyrics, highlighted, clear as day. We really need to think about how she’ll be impacted by this vote, as well as everyone. It’s a pretty big concern. There’s also how Haruka wants to stay in the Milgram prison, and the worries about betraying his trust...

5. I’m still holding out on my official verdict.

Anything I say about the verdict is subject to severe change, and I’m not fully decided yet. Still, here are my thoughts thus far:

PROS FOR GUILTY:

1. Yikes

2. Would be telling him that what he’s doing isn’t okay, he needs to get help for his killing

3. Would restrain him so it’s harder for him to flip out and kill another prisoner

PROS FOR INNOCENT:

1. Wouldn’t betray the trust we’ve created with him

2. This is mad specific, but it seems like he killed because he felt he lost favor with his mom and wanted to get it back. I do not want Haruka to feel like we favored him (innocent verdict) then stopped favoring him (guilty verdict) and then to kill in order to get us to like him again. That ain’t how it works but like... it seems pretty clear his thought process is off

For right now, I think I’d lean guilty, but I’m really hoping some new insights will give me more clarity soon. Let me know what y’all think!

UPDATE: after further consideration, I’m leaning pretty heavily towards innocent. I hadn’t previously considered the possibility that Haruka could attempt suicide within the Milgram prison. From a meta voting perspective, I think innocent is the safest way to go in terms of maximizing survival.

SECOND UPDATE: just in case people are still seeing this rather than my main theory, I’ll link it here! It explains Haruka’s whole trial a lot more cohesively and explains my verdict change (I’m now on the guilty side as well).

#milgram #ミルグラム #milgram haruka #haruka sakurai #milgram theory #admin venus #i'm so confused and concerned #i looked back at some of my old stuff and i was so hopeful :(#i guess this is what they meant by hellish #not sure how yuno's supposed to match this though #please please please let me know your thoughts on theories and votes cause i'm so confused #anyways it's 5:14 am i'm going to sleep bye

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dearweirdme · 9 months

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March 28th at 12:13AM KST: JM🌟: "I miss you 😊"

March 28th at 03:42AM KST: JK replied: "Me too"

As the whole fandom was debating whether his reply meant "I miss army too", or "I miss you (JM) too", JK goes live 11 minutes later at 03:53AM KST, live titled: "수취타 (SuChwita)" where he says he came to watch Jimin's SuChwita episode and then he watches SMF2 MV, SMF2 dance practice, a LC challenge video, and a compilation of BTS teasing Jimin. He says he watched Jimin's Pixid interview and mentions having already watched the "Jimin's Playlist" video of FACE on BangtanTV when it came on shuffle after the SuChwita episode. He listens to some music by other artists, gets inspired to work, and after 1 hour, 36 minutes and 46 seconds of him basically giving Jimin heart eyes, he leaves us to go work on music.

The fandom is in complete shambles but at least now we know who was JK’s "Me too" comment directed to.

At 10:20AM KST on the same day, Jimin replies to Jungkook's comment with "Let's see each other soon. Your live is cute"

At 7PM on the same day, Jimin went live after he had finished his last music show performance, and JK showed up in his live chat spamming comments like "You know I'm hyung's (your) fan.", Jimin teases him about watching a bunch of his videos on live then tells him to prepare him his ramen recipe (that he had posted a few days prior) when he comes to visit, to which JK eagerly replies "Of course, of course. I'll do it for you". The live ends with JK having left a total of 19 comments, an unprecedented feat for him.

Reading the facts of that day as they are, it's undeniable that JK was missing Jimin like crazy (no pun intended) and he never does this when he's missing the other members, such as Seokjin who was already enlisted at the time, neither did he do the same for Hobi (at least not yet) after he enlisted either, despite him mentioning missing them in passing when the topics are brought up.

Jimin is special to Jungkook, whatever their bond may be, it's special and JK makes sure that everyone knows that. JK is a man of grand gestures for the ones he loves and he makes sure to show that Jimin isn't just another one of the hyungs to him, he's more than that. Whether you think they're dating or not, you can't deny that Jimin gets special treatment from JK in a lot of things (like how he used to only buy birthday gifts for Jimin and no other member, or how he made a whole GCF for him to celebrate his birthday, also something he hasn't done for any other member). And if that live was indicator on how JK acts when he misses Jimin, how he tries getting his attention by doing over-the-top actions, then I think it's pretty safe to assume they meet regularly now since he hasn't pined over Jimin in a minute. If he ever feels like he misses Jimin again, he'll make sure everyone knows it.

Hi anon!

What you are describing here is exactly the sort of thing that makes me believe there is nothing nor has there ever been anything romantic between Jk and Jimin. Because why… why if they’re partners would Jk not go see Jimin if he’s missing him? Jimin was busy sure, but does he not have to sleep? Is Jk not able to go with him, like other members have done? Why was it possible for Yoongi and Hobi to go see Jimin, but not Jk… if he misses him so? I hate to compare like this, because it seems cruel… but Tae has obviously been very busy the last few weeks, and yet.. he went to see Jk at Inkigayo.

What you described in your ask, was close friends missing each other. I will never deny that Jk and Jimin are close and they love each other very much. But they do not love each other the way partners do, because if that was the case Jk would’ve been content to just go see Jimin whenever there was a chance to. I once had a partner who traveled two hours to have lunch with me for an hour. That is what people in love do. Friends however will suddenly go ‘damn, I haven’t seen him in a while… I miss him’ especially when prompted by something (a weverse comment). Friends will then go on a whole supporting watching whatever they can together with army binge. But even when Jk realized he missed Jimin they did not meet and they did not meet for ramen after that and they did not meet for a while. Jimin asked Jk to come watch him practice more and Jk didn’t want to. So sure.. Jk had a surge of missing Jimin… but when real partners miss each other they do not go on social media about it.. they go see each other.

The GCF was not for Jimin’s birthday, don’t know where you got that from, the Tokyo trip wasn’t even for Jimin’s birthday probably. Jimin himself complained about Jk not buying birthday gifts.

There’s still nothing to base them meeting regularly on, except your assumptions. They could, sure.. but there’s just as much chance that they aren’t. Jk has been super busy, they did meet in NY.. which was part work probably.. but I’m also sure they really enjoyed their time together.. because I do agree that Jimin and Jk have a special bond, just not a romantic one.

#straws #ship analysis #they are not each other’s priority #they are not each other’s go to

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dojae-huh · 1 month

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ive been getting into 127 recently again (was only into dream for a while then rediscovered my love for doyoung) and so have been catching up on their content from 2020-2021 until now and... am I crazy to notice that taeyong gets left out a lot by the members? he used to be my bias, and I remember he would get a lot of attention. Even when he was quiet/not really talked to you could still tell he was important to the group ~vibe~ going on and others would bring him into conversation, compliment him, etc. But with the stickers, 2 baddies, nct whole group content I've been watching, it seems like he gets ignored a lot. There's a cut after every sentence he says, seems likely because of lack of any reaction from 127. Even 95 line, whose friendship I liked the most in the group, seem fragmented w Johndo and yumark. Yuta is a bit of a lone wolf, but he gets a lot of attention/reaction in a way taeyong doesn't. and Doyoung sometimes, well, blabbers (love him for it), but gets a reaction and screen time because someone will tease him, and with TY its silence...! he only rlly seems to be apart of the group content when hes tom-and-jerry-ing with doyoung, and I wonder if that's why he brings him up constantly as a bridge to the rest of the group? he can always rely on doyoung for a reaction, meanwhile every other member is looking the other way. Did something happen that I missed? I'm really not a hater, the reason I noticed this is because he was my ultbias for a while, and I was mostly fixating on him when I re-entered their content.

I act similar with things I like and fandoms. I think at different periods in life one is attracted to different sources of entertainment, personalities and stories. And, of course, even the best things get boring with time as they stop being a source of new information/excitement, so a change is needed from time to time.

My memory fades as years pass, therefore I won't be able to answer you very well, I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I watched anything from that time except for the MVs.

There was a period of time when Taeyong distanced himself from the members. Let me check tags... I asked a similar question as you in May, 2020, so the period matches, OK.

The opinions of other fans I got. My follow up.

2020-2021 is also the covid time. There was the start of JohnDo issue, end of MarkDo issue, the end of TaeJae issue, some MarkHyuk troubles, TaeWoo was still rather distant. Some members moved out from the dorms. In general it was a transitional period, after which the unit came out finally united and strong.

In NCT 127 24hr relay cam from 2019, neos mentioned how they didn't have time to get to know each other very well because they had been running non-stop all those years. Mark was surprised that Johnny has a serious side to him, Mark and Yuta had a meal, only two of them, the first time. I think the reason members appeared much more cozy with each other in the previous years is because back then their main goal was to succeed, and they were young. Jaehyun is a good example of the change from very friendly to independantly stand offish. The 95 line is similar in that regard.

Taeyong is respected, there is gratitude towards him, but he is not super close to most members. There is a difference between having a friendship/comrade bond, knowing you will always support each other and root for each other, and clicking so well as to want to spend every free time hour together. Like, Johnny will take care of him, bring him cakes, or Tae will invite him to share the food Do cooked, but to see them doing anything together, just the two of them, is rare. Despite Tae basically hanging off of Johnny like a monkey during lives or in the van from time to time. JohnMark did something creatively in the past, for example, recorded a track and silly mini-movies, JohnHyuk go to the gym together sometimes. Tae collaborated with Seulgi, nags Doyoung to feature, but nothing with DJ Johnny Bee.

Yuta is closest to Jaehyun and now Mark. I think both Yuta and Tae have too many mental problems to be of help to each other.

Side note: I think this situation is perfectly normal, members of a group are randomply selected by a 3d party, not everyone among the chosen people would befriend each other without applied pressure of circumstances. With a group of introverts it is simply more evident. A group of extraverts hides this fact by being overtly very friendly and loud.

#ask me away #taeyong is the boss

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calechipconecrimes · 1 year

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ok we begin. btw you dont have a .tumblr.com and thats pretty cringe maybe get that worked out worstie.

anyway we start with the

✨ fabulous killjoys ✨

they're the main characters of the ALBUM danger days. also referred to as the fab four. they are members of the larger group simply called the killjoys, played a key role in the analog wars (we'll get to it) and take care of the girl (we'll get to her) the fab four's whole deal is eloquently described by straengeaeons as "they hate capitalism and blow stuff up about it." they're portrayed by the members of mcr in the music videos so ill go ahead and introduce them to u now since their names are decently important going forward we got

party poison - leader of the fab four, he's the only one to have two different masks (the whole masks thing we'll get to later), both pictured above, the second ones called the mousekat store that in ur brainhole not really sure if i'll mention it later. also definitely the one im going to write the most about because spoiler alert these idiots die in like 10 minutes and they dont have a ton of personality to go off of unless you wanna start theorizing hard and i dont feel like that right now

jet star - helpfully labeled for your convenience

fun ghoul - you can't see it well but his mask is like....a really shitty party city zombie mask.

kobra kid - i think its pretty widely accepted fanon that he and party poison are brothers since they're portrayed by mikey and gerard in the music videos. neat.

alongside the fab four we got some other important people (im also going to start using comic panels for these guys cuz the fab four dont have any great comic pictures)

korse - he works as a s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w for BLind (better living industries) who have basically taken over the world or at least north america to our knowledge. their capital in a sense is battery city. dont think i mentioned it but this all takes place in post apocalyptic 2019 (the album came out in 2010 ok) around where la is today. anyway back to korse scarecrows are basically really deadly assassins and hes a bit silly. slightly murderous. its ok though he's gay and gets a redemption arc.

dr. death defying - he shows up a bit in the mvs but the pics arent great so im just using comic. hes a dj and has close ties to the fab four, also is vaguely possibly omnipotent? hes a veteran of the analog wars and all around chill great guy. love dr d.

cherri cola - also a dj, has this like. chill uncle energy that matches dr ds very well. really wants to be a dad like so bad. he was a part of the og killjoys with the fab four but didnt die with them and has a little tiny bit of survivors guilt abt that. just a smidge. i like him hes cool

the girl - she doesnt have a name lmao just the girl. very important small child, she's like 6 at the time when the fab four die. her mom was like the leader of the resistance group the killjoys were part of during the analog wars and party poison at least believes that she's going to save them all someday. also the comic panel is her when shes like 16 hence the fact that she looks violently different

the director - shes the head of BLind so like. very evil. but shes also kinda hot so i forgive the capitalism and the war crimes. uhhh other than that there's draculoids which are these guys with the masks

the masks basically mind control ppl to make them BLinds personal cannon fodder im kinda tired so i might continue this later and actually get into plot but other than stuff i want to talk abt later im pretty sure thats all you'd need to get into the mvs at least

so this is a whole thing huh

#calechip answers #niff-of-crows #niff screams #←new tag for your asks

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radgalniya · 7 months

Text

listening to mariah the scientist is watching her make mistakes in real time. listened to her song from a woman and basically the whole song and music video is about her love for young thug then i listen to young thugs song from a man cus i’m like oh it must be really romantic like hers but in his style, that sounds super interesting but i listen and his song is all over the place with the topics but barely includes any lines about her and the few lines that ARE in there are about how he must be in love bc hes coming home to her every night:/

“i fell in love with your thongs most likely” - a man in love…i guess:/

and to make matters worse, her mv starts w a phone call between them and he asks her what shes doing and she says nothing just waiting for you. girl are you a sim and is he the player. you dont have nothing to do but wait on him??? i swear the mv almost made it look like she had a shrine to him or something. in his mv, he had a random girl tattooing him. and the only time mariah was in it was when she was laying on a bed watching him on tv:/

i liked the song tho. itll be on repeat lmaooo

but all her songs give a desperate need to be validated by men tho and i hope it’s not reflective of reality and is just music. and if it is, well then i hope she learns to find value in herself outside of what she can offer to men EVEN IF that thing she can offer is devotion(and i’m specifically using that word instead of just love)

#she may be lovesick in a cancerous type of way but maybe thats what makes the music good lol idk #chronicles of niya #music #spotify #mariah the scientist #young thug #from a woman #from a man

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jeonstellate · 9 months

Text

love is · · · — trivias & outtakes

✇༄ spoilers for the entire love is · · · series

✇༄ bulleted list format

masterlist | love is · · · masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

✇༄ disclaimer: twilight from spy x family has nothing to do with this. i just wanted to use a gif of him as a header of sorts. heh.

✇༄ reader/main character will be referred to by their mafia codename ‘sea,’ just to make ramblings easier :]

inspo: plot & conflict

let’s get the general stuff out of the way first

so, this whole mini-series was actually thought of because i watched the “gambler” mv and band version one too many times as i tried to cope w pcd

[i highly recommend the band ver btw. it tempts me to swerve to changkyun every single time, istg]

and then i consequentially topped it off w mafia!aus . . .

truth be told, i wanted to save the hidden baby/secret child trope for future works since i didn’t want to overuse it

[it’s my go-to in my earlier, unpublished works. idk if they’ll ever see the light of day, but they’re def still in my drive somewhere]

i needed a big enough reason for sea to leave a relationship they were otherwise more than happy in — and (un)fortunately, i couldn’t think of any other situation

i figured being responsible for more than their own life should do the trick, so there

a general plot was made, tgt w the root of conflict

a gambler & a danger

ngl, out of all the parts for this mini-series, these two were the only ones that turned out exactly like how i planned them

specifically, the story captured in these two parts were the exact scenes i wanted to tell right from the start

there was no deviation from the original plot/screenplay or whatsoever

it was great

which, now that i think abt it, was prolly why i finished these two relatively quick

since there was no ‘what-if’s to consider

a secret

in contrast, i had a slight difficulty for this part because i had a ‘what-if’ scenario

i had to debate whether hoseok would be traveling alone or not

ngl, i have a tendency to go for the angstier way — but, for this case, the two options had contrasting effects on the story

option one was ultimately made canon

yk, hoseok crosses paths with sea on vacation and basically invites himself to walk around w them lol

but option two . . .

oh boy

did y’all hear abt that one time when hoseok was spotted at the airport w kihyun and changkyun? (it was after wonho became a soloist, so ot7 stans won that day *insert star eyes here*)

but yea, i basically took inspo from that and went— what if?

what if hoseok and then changkyun spotted sea?

then, different from canon, the convo they’d have would be significantly shorter since sea would feel more apprehensive about being in the same place as MX members

neither hoseok nor changkyun would have a chance to get close enough to learn kian’s name or even play w her since sea would of course leave as soon as possible

it’s debatable if sea would even get to think abt asking hoseok and changkyun the favor of not telling the others abt seeing them in their vacation

but, either way, the men’s eyes were still faster than sea since they already caught a glimpse of bebe kian

who, as hoseok canonically puts it, “looks a lot like her father”

now here’s the part that makes me scream— it’s so angsty i personally love it:

what if, as sea turned to leave, they saw someone not too far away who eerily looks like kihyun? looking at them? looking at kian?

[*screams*]

angst level through the roof already ik, but lemme make it worse

sea was written to have a strong resolve, someone who is selfish and selfless at the same time, someone who doesn’t back down easily

so yk what? even if they made eye contact w that person who eerily resembled kihyun, they would pretend they weren’t spooked

they would still leave . . . bc they already made their choice

as for the reason why i didn’t go with that route, even if it was literally the angstiest of the two aka my type lol

personally, i felt like option two would waste all of sea’s efforts to get away

i mean— sure, they would still reunite w kihyun eventually [bc yes, no matter what sea does, they’re still meant to end up w him]

but at least w option one, they had more time to enjoy their freedom — and w that extra time, they were able to have no regrets abt ruining an eight-year long of otherwise perfectly fine relationship

plus, if they saw each other then, sea would still be able to get away since it’d take kihyun a while to recover from his shock

but once he processed everything? he will try to find them. no amount of SVT’s countermeasures and precautions would be able to stop him. he will find sea and kian within two months — three months, tops.

however, as touched on in ‘a compass,’ that was exactly what sea didn’t want. bc they’d eventually end up hating him for real

overall, as much as i love angst, i didn’t want the series to get too messy once the domino effect hits, that was why i ultimately made option one canon

inspo: yoo kian

originally, i planned kian to be a boy

[just bc bb boys are my default for hidden baby!aus for some reason??? yea idk, either]

but then, yk how for some ppl you just see what gender of children “suit” them the best? like, minhyuk’s def a girl dad??

yea . . . same logic for kihyun. although his interactions w kylo are v uwu, i still see him as a girl dad. perhaps not as strong as my vision for minhyuk, but it’s still there

as for her name, sea never planned to completely erase kihyun in her life

they wanted to raise her away from him and out of his radar, yes, but they still wanted kian to have a piece of him wherever they go

hence sea let kian carry his surname and even share a syllable of her name w him

and they were only confident abt doing that bc, again, kihyun didn’t know abt bebe kian — he can’t track both of them using someone he didn’t even know existed

ik the spelling of her name can be considered masculine, but i merely romanized how her name would be written in hangul (키안/기안), so i see no point in giving her the feminine spelling of it

oh! i almost forgot: kian wasn’t actually the first name i thought of for sea and kihyun’s kid

i already forgot what the first name was, but the name kian was thought of after i remembered abt sian from tros lol

inspo: mafia codes

i wanted everyone to have a mafia codename of sorts

the members w stage names were easy, also those w alternate names (as in hyungwon’s case) since i just used those

but for those who have their real names as their stage names, i had to be creative

jooheon became ‘honey,’ after his current stage name that i keep forgetting [srly, i always forget that he goes by joohoney now T_T]

minhyuk became ‘gorae,’ which is korean for whale, his favorite animal

the only one i rlly had trouble w was kihyun’s code name

i personally associate him w hamsters, but i couldn’t thing of anything that could make ‘hamster’ as a code name intimidating, so i had to look for inspiration somewhere else

somehow, in my quest, i stumbled upon the fact that ‘yoo’ — kihyun’s last name — can be spelled as ‘ryu’ in the past

hence his code name ‘ryuki’

as for SVT members . . . there’s a reason why not all of them appeared in the series lol

i mean— besides the fact that it’s a MX-centered fic, most of them go by their real names on stage

and i rlly don’t have the energy to give everyone a creative code name lol

still, i came up with some just in case i ran out of members who have stage names

thus ‘player’ for wonwoo, after the carmen sandiego character and also the fact that he’s a gamer

‘moon’ for junhui, after his korean surname (문)

and two more back-ups i didn’t get to use: ‘ghost’ for seungkwan, solely bc his last name is boo [sometimes i think i’m funny] && ‘polar’ for hansol vernon, after his current emoji representative

though imma be honest

i have no idea who ‘labri’ is

when i first thought of the code name, it rooted from the word ‘lovely.’ when i tried to write it in hangul, it became ‘랍리’ or ‘labli’/‘labri’/‘lablee’/‘rabri’/— you get the idea

but with that, two members come to mind personally: jeonghan and mingyu

if ‘labri’ is jeonghan, it could also be the case that ‘labri’ came from ‘libra’ aka his zodiac sign, with a couple letters switched

however, if ‘labri’ is mingyu, it could also be the case that ‘labri’ came from ‘labrador’

so yea, idk who he is

a favor

despite being angsty, this part was a lil difficult to write ngl

i literally had to rewrite the entire thing three times before i finally had something i was satisfied w

i knew what i wanted to write, specifically what scenes i wanted to show, it was just a matter of how i should tell it

MX’s introduction to kian was originally captured in great detail as in move-for-move

but then . . . idk what was actually wrong w it, but it just seemed wrong for some reason???

i still saved that draft somewhere bc those scenes were so cute to me, but yea . . . i ultimately rewrote it

[sometimes i just don’t get how my brain works, sigh]

funnily enough, the scene that convinced me to even write this part in the first place didn’t even make the cut

like ‘a secret,’ this part also had a ‘what if’ — one that also had a contrasting effect to the story

the second idea was what i made canon

yk— wonho volunteered for the alliance but ryuki ended up the one getting engaged after MX pieced kian’s parentage tgt

but in the initial idea . . .

honey was chosen for the alliance

i didn’t work out how he was picked, but i did work out that he was v reluctant abt it — as in he wasn’t totally on board w it, but still agreed anw bc it was for MX’s future

sea wasn’t SVT’s pick for the marriage in this version tho

instead, honey was set to marry periwinkle aka perrie — someone who wasn’t part of SVT’s core, but a high-ranking member nonetheless

their dynamic was supposed to be like enemies-to-lovers, since both of them weren’t really fond of the idea

perrie was supposed to be rlly close w sea tho: partly bc the former was one of their “guards” until they left the country

which led to sea attending the wedding as a show of support

i mean— sure, for this ver, sea is still avoiding ryuki as much as they can, but with the alliance between SVT-MX pretty much complete, they're a bit more lax abt it than in canon

also bc of the logic that MX didn't find them to begin w before they crossed paths again, so the threat "make sure we never find you" in ‘a gamble’ is still in sea's favor

now here's the scene that convinced me to write this part in the first place but didn't even make the cut:

as it happened in canon, labri still mistakingly hands kian to the MX members before hurriedly leaving

and that event is still the reason why MX members will be able to piece together kian's parentage

although, for this ver, kian will resemble sea more than ryuki

[honestly idk how kian ended up looking like ryuki more in canon when i’ve been dead-set that she should look like her mapa more right from the beginning T_T]

[hoseok’s comment in ‘a secret’ was only supposed to be a signal like “i know who the father is”]

they will still be able to figure it out tho based on her features and other “coincidences”

unlike in canon tho, the one who will pick her up from MX’s house is sea

think “you fcking did WHAT? labri, you’re fcking DEAD. don’t fcking go near my daughter, i’m mad at you. i’ll pick her up myself”

yea, sea’s furious at labri oki

[like, so v much so that they literally signed up to go to the lion’s den unaccompanied without much thought]

and understandably so, since hello?? this whole thing was abt keeping kian & kihyun apart???

not to worry, though

surprisingly enough, had they met this way, they would’ve been pretty civil . . . and calm

i didn’t work out the logistics, but kihyun supposedly harbor no ill feelings for sea in this ver

it’s like . . . after piecing kian’s parentage, he just figures out what exactly happened and just . . . understood

so, yea

for this ver, “the talk” that happened in ‘a compass’ is a lot quieter and calmer

like it literally takes place while the other members painstakingly gather everything that belongs to kian that had been scattered around the house lol

and as a sort of soft epilogue, sea and ryuki would meet again in honey and periwinkle’s wedding reception

where it would be alluded that they would be a couple again in the future

and then [*hits the slate*] CUT

ngl i rlly looked forward to writing the reunion in this ver since it was the reason this part exist in the first place

but

as i progressed writing the opening scenes for this particular part, i realized it didn’t seem realistic that ryuki would just let sea off the hook that easily

sure, this is fiction and all, but i figured kihyun at least deserves some time to show sea that the trauma they caused wasn’t okay

cuz yk . . . we can’t just invalidate ppl’s feelings like that

so yeah

that’s why canon is the way it is

a journey & a compass

frankly, these two parts wouldn’t’ve existed if not for the anons that asked abt them

cuz i fully intended to just end the story in ‘a favor’

partly bc i knew if i extended the story beyond that, i would have no choice but to actually address kihyun’s trauma

not that there was smth wrong w doing that, it’s just . . . i didn’t want to mess it up

even if it’s fictional, that trauma is heavy yk

i think i messed it up anw but yk it is what it is ig

ngl there was only supposed to be one part after ‘a favor’

but, while i was writing ‘a journey,’ i noticed that there would be a shift in the tone?— the color?— idk how to phrase it— of the story

so i decided that it would be best to split the supplementary part into two

one focusing on the “pretending”

and the other on the “closure”

as i mentioned on one of my replies to an anon, the keyword for the last set of supplemental parts was ‘wedding’

yea, i technically could’ve just went straight to ‘a compass’ without having to write ‘a journey,’ that’s true

but there were some information in ‘a journey’ that i needed to mention

don’t ask what it was bc i can’t recall now lol

but yea that’s why there was ‘a journey’ before ‘a compass’ :D

inspo: significant others

sea actually had a name in the first draft of ‘a gamble’ bc i originally didn’t plan on sharing the story here

and every time a story is exclusively for me, i tend to create ocs since that’s what i did before my tumblr writer era

[yes, that’s why my mcmxcvii & mcu stuff are x oc . . . those universes were built years ago]

but anw

sea’s name was choi gaeul

they were supposed to share their last name with their cousin seungcheol

wait actually let me elaborate

they were named as such first

with their first name being from chu gaeul of boys over flowers [aka half of one of my first ships as a kid uwu]

&& then when the time came to pick a relative who share the same surname, seungcheol became an obvious choice

ergo, SVT was ultimately inserted in the story

ergo, the codename ‘autumn’ later on became out of question since that’s what gaeul meant

ngl had i published the story w an oc, bb kian’s full name would’ve easily been choi kian

which strangely would’ve changed the story in ‘a favor’ & onwards now that i think abt it

huh

anw sea’s occupation is an architect

why? solely bc of a small fact mentioned in ‘a journey’: so i can say that they thought seungcheol would simply ask them to design a blueprint for SVT’s house as a favor

that’s v shallow ik, but i always try to be as vague and as general as possible in my x reader fics

so when i do specify some things, they’re more likely than not thought of last min and had to be made bc i had no other choice

that includes the name drops for minhyuk’s and changkyun’s respective partners, actually — since i couldn’t just refer to them as their other half every single time

they’re more than just that yk

i came up with minhyuk’s partner’s name first — nari — bc they were supposed to be mentioned by name in ‘a favor,’ right in the beginning when it was discussed that them & minhyuk were already married by then

for extra measure, i also planned out some things abt nari & their relationship w minhyuk just in case i needed them

like how nari’s works in a flower shop & somehow met minhyuk there one day, allowing for their love story to start [yea, they got the florist-mafia trope. it’s cute]

&& also how nari is actually pregnant during ‘a favor’ & onwards

them seeking advice from sea abt giving birth & parenthood was actually my back up plan for the story flow lol

actually, that also includes them offering to babysit kian for “experience” [one of my drafts actually had a scene where ryuki & sea had a fight abt this lol]

funnily enough, the name nari was thought of bc i remembered abt the narra tree

it was rlly random, but that basically gave my name search a direction — name starting w n, meaning possibly related to plants

&& tada~ nari means ‘lily’ — or so google says

i didn’t bother thinking of a surname for nari though, or hayeon too, for that matter

in fact, changkyun’s partner has less info planned out compared to nari

most likely bc i didn’t intend them to play a huge role in the series or appear at all

but alright, here’s everything i came up w abt changkyun’s partner

their name hayeon was from one of the former kids in tros [i just think it’s a beautiful-cute name, nothing else]

they’re a doctor, speciality unknown — most likely smth related to surgery tho

mostly bc the trope that i thought for them two involves kyun getting wounded && hayeon fixing him up

i did consider that hayeon was prolly the first person to know abt sea’s pregnancy

and, for some reason, sea was alright w them knowing

specifically, for wtv reason, sea knew hayeon would keep that knowledge a secret from MX

i didn’t rlly flesh out the ‘why,’ exactly, but it was def hinted in ‘a compass’

smth abt what happened to hayeon will fs prompt MX to tighten their security/surveillance around sea when they find out that they’re pregnant

ngl what ‘happened’ may or may not have involved hayeon getting kidnapped . . .

and let’s just say hayeon believes that it’s better to stay away from any mafia than to accept some sort of protection from them

based on their experience, yk the mafia protection basically failing them, they have the right to feel that way

so yeah: sea knowing that particular belief of theirs def played a part on why sea would feel safe sharing their secret w them

&& also why hayeon was intentionally ‘absent’ in the series compared to nari whose scenes just got cut: they were staying as far away from all the mafia shenanigans as much as possible

which, really, wasn’t difficult for them to do given that they’re a doctor & everything

since we’re on the topic, i might as well mention this

hayeon & changkyun’s on-&-off relationship was def influenced by their kidnapping

i won’t go to details bc i didn’t actually flesh it out

but, as i see it rn, their story def has so much angst in it that i can’t even guarantee a ‘happy ending’ for them if i ever write it

final notes

this rambling has gone on longer than i intended

i didn’t realize i had so much to say abt the ‘behind’ of this series oml

but anw

to close, i just want take a moment to thank you guys for reading & showing interest in ‘love is · · ·’

it’s the first series i finished wo having all the parts prewritten before posting, so all the interactions — the likes, the reblogs, the comments, the messages — really drove this to completion

i read all the reblogs, tags, comments, & msgs btw, even if i only replied to the asks

mostly bc i despise how it’s my ‘main’ blog that replies whenever i answer a comment smh

&& like . . . idk how i can answer reblogs/tags . . .

i love reading them, actually

i went back to read every single one of them multiple times to help me finish everything. they helped me a lot fr

and i uh— i’m so sorry i broke your hearts several times

i’m admittedly just good at dropping angsty one-liners && my fluffy writing needs a lot of work

so hopefully the hopeful ending made all the heartbreak worth it . . . somehow. somewhat.

if there’s anything you’re curious abt that i didn’t address in this lengthy ramble, pls send me an ask here!!

feel free to send me other stuff through there too: what you liked abt this series, what frustrated you, idk. wtv else you think of

that way i can actually reply *insert dancer emoji, three times, here*

forewarning tho: you might get a reply that’s more than what you asked for bc i tend to overshare—

but anw yea

from the v bottom of my heart, thank you for tuning to ‘love is · · ·’ and following ryuki & sea’s story (⌒▽⌒)♡

#yoo kihyun x reader #kihyun x reader #monsta x x reader #yoo kihyun imagines #kihyun imagines #monsta x imagines #yoo kihyun scenarios #kihyun scenarios #monsta x scenarios #yoo kihyun oneshots #kihyun oneshots #monsta x oneshots #mafia!au #yoo kihyun #kihyun #monsta x

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nako-doodles · 1 year

Note

woah im seriously impressed by your analysis of the songs. like all i can say is: wow this shit bangs jfgf and comment on the lyrics but i dont know the little intricacies. now im starting to wonder if i know anything about music 💀 but anyways my real ask is i dont know much about tablo but i believe u listen to him a lot, do u rec any songs?

oiaejgirjeoah pls im nothing special i just word vomited my emotions aojgioerjhoijreao

anyways tablo/epik high has SO many good songs uh everythings under the cut:

ur local absolutely no fucking chill high skool 2 parter list of epik high songs

(hold onto your lily white asses my darlings)(edited)

a note before we start: while im a big fan and supporter of reading translations and lyrics, I ESPECIALLY encourage you to read these lyrics. these men have shaped the human that I am today w their lyrics.

epik high title tracks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTD9Jysi3_g we start w my ult fave title song (empty taxi/car) home is far away from their album we’ve done sthing wonderful (as ive enthused about many a times here and is their 10th anniversary since debut) this is my emotional support song for those dark rainy days. I still get chills at ‘in this whole world, is there not a single empty seat for me?’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvofNApz01I this is the second track off we’ve done something wonderful lost one (blooming flower) and its FUCK such a good song as well. as we will get into later, younha and kim jongwan from nell (another fantastic band that i grew into adulthood with) collabs w epik high are FUCKING INSANE LITERALLY NEVER MISSES and this is a perfect example of that + special mention to tablo’s verse ‘I pray that your dream is a reachable one, I pray that your dream only shows you things you can touch, because success takes as much as it gives’ fucking goosebumps

man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcnnUoyv-hs the instrumental to this is SO fucking pretty I love the piano lines in this song if I had a piano w me I would have transcribed it to learn. i also love that they made a hip hop song wo a drum beat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9UDLRW2C1Q another OG in their discography and ofc its a younha collab bc again: it never misses. the sfx, the synths, the piano, the EVERYTHING including joon choosing this song to cover on their appearance on duet song festival

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4hTS-f7UHk cant forget this ABSOLUTE banger of a song that got a lot of hate (ironically) but became a fan favorite and this epik moment where joker tablo, bane mithra jin, and (the scariest mojo) dj tukutz did this on halloween mamas (yea the trivializing mental health isnt great what w this being set in an asylum but we aren’t gonna discuss how society has treated mental health patients as others and monsters)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s1jaFDrp5M another absolute fucking BANGER literally will never shut up about this basically a rap cypher amongst the bros anyways IM A BORN HATER :loudspeaker::loudspeaker::loudspeaker:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCsLikmxhV0 (TW guns and blood) and here’s the sequel to the previous song off their recent album feat ofc the legend herself CL of 2ne1 (and ugh I guess z*co fuck you you talented bigoted fucker) completely ot but I love how they just….stick tukutz wherever. you need a guy to hold a gun? casually dj in the bg? a random being chaotic in the bg? tukutz’s got u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7EQ_uoNQBE the punniest pun of all puns w some of the saddest lyrics wow alright younha and epik chill dont need to come at me like that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElW_V6SyfE8 the silliest funniest (future) dads to ever. just a giant dad joke in mv and song form full of pop culture references. they would continue this trend to reference all of the biggest drama posters to announce shows its genuinely some of the best things to ever happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtPo67yqj60 yet another english korean pun where happeun means easy in korean so its an easy ending. when they did music shows, they intentionally chose the female singers starting from the youngest to the oldest to portray how different-aged people deal with breakups in jo wonsun’s lines (list: suhyun from akmu (first crush/love), lee hi (teenager), minzy from 2ne1 (20s), younha (30s), and finally jowon (middle age)) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ_xJD7zlfI here is the compilation thank you epik high https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX_4wrZIpGw gods run…..what a song…….what an impact………..no commentary just go watch this ( I couldn’t find the official mv for this song its so old but tis so good my lord)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47Vz-ptyKbQ cant forget about historical drama warrior iu and how this mv basically gave us actor iu thank you epik high kings ft. crush another fan fave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awexwS9BYuY gonna end this w mine and tannie's fave E P I K MY HIGH IS EPIK hype song ever. this is the song that put hiphop onto the map and gave birth to all the hiphop kpop bands in the years to come (hey table wheres the mv????)

epik high b side tracks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juG3PBxrsfM lets start with my absolute favorite album opener (its really a 2 parter that blends just as easily on the album as on this live here) that references their previous work accomplishments and spoilers for the album AND especially for the references to all of their albums at the end there by tablo thank you king off their newest album epik high is here pt. 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7f2fdJm1oQ cant make a list about epik high wo mentioning the fan favorite the crowning jewel the piece de la resistance in their discography, amor fati. tablo wrote this for the LGBTQ community and those who have been orphaned by society and it hits everytime you hear it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC5pmyVJ4t4 now we have come to my most played song on my iTunes @ 1689 plays feat lee hi! yes this is also from we’ve done something this album is fucking INSANE. im giving you the live bc this is completely in english and we deserve to hear these talented ppl live when that electric guitar comes in at the bridge…..fuck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraS48NP99s this is off their newest album and yes I absolutely ugly cried at ‘inside all my talents, the youth [my dad] forfeited for me still breathes’ and ‘the last time I was in his arms, I thought, even heaven

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdTOJfzz8YY you can tell this is an old kpop vid bc im using platypizz :rofl::rofl: anyways this is another epik high classic I can practically sing this entire song what a (sad) bop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pMX5uDR_B4 this is the song that got me into epik high and ive never looked back since. this is my knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um4pcG_KYYw we dont mithra opening epik high songs often but this is my favorite song one that he does. just…..this line right here ‘our smiles always wither before even blooming but flowers who never bloomed still gather to form a garden’ fuck my dude. you dont gotta go that hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFckDQXbZ10 they fucking opened the best kpop album w this song. with the line ‘lenon died in 1980, when I was born. i always only imagine the worst.’ SINCERELY WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGWUeMOP1ms here we come to my second most played epik high album sleepless in __, and the crowning jewel off that album……….even tho suga’s eternal sunshine and rain again tomorrow come a close second, but I dont have the space to give you the entire album but alas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb9Xu17T4CU I love everything about this song and wish they had this version on the album instead. this song blends so smoothly from the previous track rain again tomorrow and just this album sleepless in __ gives my brain so much happy neural connections idk how to explain it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYnY6XChzok this is one their best selling songs for a REASON is all im gonna say. ofc miss younha is there to BRING IN THE HEAT (my tears) everytime she comes with ‘oh no. not again’ I FELT THAT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbnx4qZYD9Q ive always been a BIG miso fan and when I heard she was collabing w epik high I WAS SO EXCITED and ofc they never disappoint. seriously such a gem in their new album. the album doesnt have the korean verse miso sings and its a shame really

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwKiGy2A_nU yet another fucking epik high song that fucking shaped my whole worldview and called me the fuck out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUHhFrBEKes YES KINGS LOUDER!!!! FOR THE BACK!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF8kBwaVYb0 tablo has done many lessons over the years but this is one is my favourite one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Morx4BdGHaA we finish this list off w a song named after the famous camera/lens makers and how we are all so obsessed with images and sns

#thank you anna for helping out ioaejgorejhoa #i have no chil im so sorry #ans

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taylorswiftstylequestions · 1 year

Note

Hi Sarah :) I know you said you were working on AH scale asks, but just wanted to add my two cents! As an actual fat fan who previously had a longterm eating disorder... it's a highly relatable moment and not offensive at all! She's not saying she is actually fat. She's clearly saying she had a problem, it was painful and not healthy. Just like all the other problems in the song/video.

The entire premise is that Problem Taylor is the devil on her shoulder encouraging bad decisions and hurting her. Does anybody think Taylor is encouraging people to think everyone will betray them? Does anyone want her not to express that Problem Taylor experience? No.

Also, at the end of that scene, when she looks in the mirror and Problem Taylor appears? I fully thought we were getting a graphic bulimia reference. So it could have been something to actually complain about!

---

Initial Reactions

I’m so conflicted about the anti-hero music video :( The scene where she gets on the scale and it says - “fat” like being fat is her worst nightmare, it really hurt my plus-sized friends. As a whole, I absolutely love the video, but it could have been a really easy change to just not show what the scale said, or have a sad emoji. Or have a different scene which shows a conflicted relationship with food instead. I understand you can’t please everyone, but this effects so many people and would have been a simple fix. I’m not mad, just really sad.

hey sarah! wondering how you feel about the fatphobia discourse re: anti hero mv - basically for anyone who hasn’t seen it there are people who don’t like that the scale scene shows her “fear of fatness” and how that is inherently fatphobic and the people going against them are saying that what she did with the scale is representative of fat being a “state of mind” and something that many people with EDs go through. personally i agree with the second opinion and i don’t think that it is correct for random people to be “calling” fatphobia on a recovering anorexic because the very nature of the illness is the fear of gaining weight so she is accurately representing her lived experience.

Maybe it’s too early to discuss this but I’m curious your thoughts on the fatphobia discussion around the music video. My friend (who is fat) and I were talking about it. Obviously she should be able to discuss her ED freely and it is a serious illness and a very personal thing. But I do think it was mishandled here, and that’s speaking as someone who has always loved TS. We are in a changing world and shifting culture. People need to recognize that lots of actually, undeniably fat people suffer from eating disorders. Just because they are actually fat doesn’t make the eating disorder ok or good. Being fat is not bad, it’s not good, it just is, and the video portrays it as bad (because obviously that is the messaging she has received in her life). I’m split bc she is just being honest about her experience, but I wonder if it is something we need to see from her in the medium of a music video where she can’t explain the nuances, and can only say that she doesn’t want to be fat/thinks she’s fat and hates it. Idk. Maybe I just need an outlet. I just think a lot of swifties are unwilling to see the different sides of this. It’s no hate to Taylor. It’s part of our changing social climate. Hopefully we can change this kind of messaging.

Response to Responses

I’m feeling super down by the way people are speaking about the fat scale on Reddit. My friend reached out to me to talk about how it felt hurtful to her as a fat person, and I was trying to explain what we had talked about there in a completely rational way (yes it’s a good scene for people who have struggled w eating disorders, no it doesn’t make actually fat people feel great to see), and I’m getting downvoted and bullied. I’ve been a swiftie since I was 12 (now 26). I’m not trying to attack Taylor or anyone, why can’t people try to open their eyes for 2 seconds and understand that the scene could have hurt people and those people are allowed to feel hurt?? It puts a bitter taste in my mouth over the whole weekend :/

Hi Sarah. No worries if you don’t publish this I just needed to vent and I feel heard even if you’d rather not host this discussion publicly! I just read an article critical of the “fat” on the scale in the music video saying it’s damaging and fatphobic and I’m so annoyed that people will literally bitch about anything. Maybe that’s how they make $$? I need to just ignore them I know. The whole point of that scene is she feels unworthy no matter what that scale says. People can relate to it.

Response To Video Being Edited

Trigger Warning for Weight/ED Recovery. Hi Sarah. News of updated Anti-Hero video edit just hit! I am so happy and proud to be a lifelong Swiftie right now. These moments are amazing to witness. Taylor and her team taking feedback and being sensitive to others' recovery. Not making it a big deal. Ugh. I just love that she did this. Super awesome of her and IMO shows her heart is truly in the right place (which we have always known).

Theyve edited the antihero video to remove the scale scene. I dont vibe w the pacing of the new one. I wish she had left it or just edited the word fat off the scale if she had to, it wouldve accomplished the same thing

---

As you can tell, you guys had a lot to say about the scale scene in the "Anti-Hero" music video. I thought it best to group them by 'topic' in a sense to illustrate the range of responses to the exact same thing.

Not only to indicate differences in opinion (the beauty of life and TSS - I'd like to think!) but how oftentimes there is no 'winning' in a situation.

For me, I think there's many conflicting truths that occur here simultaneously.

The video documents the worst and unfounded fears and vulnerabilities Taylor has about herself and her life. They are the most bitter, sad, and dark pieces about herself that she knows are wrong and is spending her life trying to unlearn and rectify.

People who have been through, survived, and will likely always experience the lingering vestiges of an eating disorder should be able to talk about their experience - even when that experience is uncomfortable. Because diseases often are.

Fat people deserve respect. If the depiction of the scale using that word made them feel sad or hurt or less-than or any myriad of things - that is valid for them to feel.

The most uncomfortable part of this - and I think what is difficult for a lot of people to reconcile with - is that none of these things is more important than the other. They're all the truth and they're all real.

I think it's important to understand why that word and that scene was created (to painfully depict the shittiest things someone going through an eating disorder and body dysmorphia thinks and fears, and even in sickness knowing ultimately how wrong that is). Just as it is to leave space for people to have knee-jerk and emotional responses to it (why is my lived everyday reality being portrayed as this awful and doomed scenario? why is my mere existence seen as something so terrible?).

#opinion #tw eating disorder #tw ed #tw body dysmorphia

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