autistic pride ♾️🌈

new poem i wrote titled "Client Intake Questionnaire"

To everyone still calling autism acceptance month ‘autism awareness month’, boo bitch!

Are you aware of us now? 💀

one time at lunch i had been working on an important form for my 504 at school, and i had written out a lot of information before my tab reloaded and it was all deleted. i was incredibly frustrated, because i had previously ignored the thought to put my responses in a more reliable place instead of typing directly into google forms, and when it was all lost i was so upset. i was with my friends at school at the time, so i started complaining about it, because it was really frustrating. they expressed understanding and supported me as much as they could, but i was still overwhelmed and stressed out about it.

i ended up becoming severely overstimulated by the noise from my friends in the room, after that. i put in my earbuds and tried to block it out and calm down, but i still started crying and had a meltdown because of it. when my friends noticed, they motioned (i could not hear words through my earbuds) for me to hold my comfort plushie that i bring to school, and visually guided me to do things they knew would help me feel better. one of them that i didn’t know very well at the time came around to my side of the table and hugged me until the others found my mom (who teaches at my school). she only left when i said i would be okay, even though the bell for 5th period had already rung. she let me cry into her for no reason other than that i was struggling and she cared. afterwards i was allowed to sit in the room by myself for a while into 5th period, and her hug and support was the main reason i found the motivation to go to my class, the teacher of which had been informed i would be slightly late.

i still think about it often. i am so grateful for my friends’ actions and compassion that day, and their unconditional support for me and my autistic traits has stuck with me.

i guess what i’m saying is that being kind and supportive of your autistic friends when they are struggling (and all other times!) is crucial, and helps them more than you will ever know. autistic awareness and acceptance is so important, and we need allistic people to be an ally to us whenever and wherever possible.

The Worm Has Spoken

I'm just come home from my first and i hope last fucking appointment with a psychiatrist. I'm a self diagnosed autistic, right?

I made fucking research for like 4 years and etc, and I'm learning new things about me in this journey of discovering myself again, and I'm always thinking that maybe I'm not autistic bc the impostor syndrome even I know I'm, and many people know and has said to me that a I'm or can be autistic. Fuck, it's something I'm not say aloud bc i don't have the diagnosis, and I'm scare people don't take me seriously when I'm taking about me being autistic bc of it.

My English is fucking shit rn.

BUT THIS FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST when I tell him how can I being to looking for a diagnosis of autism, very fucking shy and with fear of not being taken seriously, like always. THIS SHIT SAYS TO ME "But, you know you have autism or you say you know that, so you can't have autism"

THIS FUCKING MAN SAY TO ME THAT I CAN'T BE AUTISTIC BC I KNOW I'M AUTISTIC(? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

I'm come to know I may be autistic in my early twenties by accident bc I was investigating to write a autistic character and when the idea about me being autistic cross my mind I was like, no, I'm not, but for four fucking years I learned a lot and enough for me to know that in fact I'm autistic, I know myself forever and I'm only six months ago I said my family that I'm autistic bc the shame I feel for not having a real diagnosis. I just read and investigate, and do my research about everything that has to do with autism and being autistic (because it become my hiperfixation for a long time) just for a Mr.Dr say to me that bc I know that I'm autistic I can't in fact be autistic.

The best part? He told me that I can change the things I believe make me autistic???? Are u fucking dumb?

You have autistic traits? Oh, don't worry JUST DON'T HAVE IT, CHANGE IT, CHANGE U FUCKING SELF, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Thanks to read about my horrible day, and about my life without having a diagnosis bc I'm not going to tell another professional about me never again. I know how they are and how they never believe the patient bc they are the ones with a title and a degree and etc, but I was hopeful for a moment and the only thing a wanted was to know how I can have a diagnosis, easy it seems, bc if I'm not autistic they just have to say no, u are not, after evaluating everything but nop, I'm very self aware about my "autism" to be autistic.

I'm going to be pissed all day about it so I'm hoping that every other autistic person have a great day and can do something that makes them smile today.

My english is bad so I'm sorry if it was difficult for u to read this. BUT I'M MAD AND SAD AND I'M DUMBER THIS WAY.

Be kind.

sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.

i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.

so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.

today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.

and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.

so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.

Life in an Autism World

Having autism is like

Having ADHD is like

Having both Autism and ADHD is like

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]

Also this autism acceptance and awareness month please stop using the term going Nonverbal or going nonspeaking when you are having a temporary loss of speech. Use a term like verbal shutdown or speech loss episode instead. As a Nonverbal autistic I am tired of speaking people using the term Nonverbal or nonspeaking to describe their verbal shutdowns

happy autism awareness day/acceptance month, be aware of them

Please stop infantlizing autistic people

Stop being weirded out when we cuss. Stop being weirded out when we talk about nsfw topics. Stop being weirded out when we are semiverbal or nonverbal.

We can smoke too, we can drink, vape, and cuss and do anything normal people can do. We can have (concented) sexual relationships. We can kiss people. We can have kinks. We can like BDSM or have fetishes. We are not innocent little kids.

Just because we have a disability doesn't mean we aren't people.

Just because we sometimes need to live with someone else doesn't mean we aren't people.

Just because we don't pick up on social clues doesn't mean we aren't people.

STOP INFANTILIZING US. STOP CALLING US INNOCENT. STOP THINKING YOU NEED TO PROTECT US. WE ARE REGULAR PEOPLE TOO.

Be nice and don't mock tumblr users that communicate differently.

Examples:

1.) Typing quirks

2.) No punctuation

3.) Random Capitalisation

4.) Long run on sentences

5.) Frequently misspelled words

6.) Missing spaces between words

7.) Repeating words and sentences

8.) Posts audios and videos instead of typing

9.) Express themselves through custom emojis

10.) Use an AAC (Augmentative and alternative communication) device

Some users have intellectual disabilities, use speech to text, struggle with grammar, have hand tremmers, have high support needs, etc.

Regardless of how they communicate and their reason why, they still deserve respect. They are trying their best.

There’s nothing inherently “scary” about someone talking to themself in public.

There’s nothing “scary” about someone rocking back and forth in public.

There’s nothing “scary” about someone pacing back and forth in public.

Some of y’all are just ableist.