sorry forgot to say im trans. yea youre gonna have to say psychobro instead of psychosis for me now. yea i know

Anyone have PDF or something of book wolfsong/ all books in the series green creek by tj klune? Really want to read the series but don't have money to get them

Wanted candy start getting upset angry that not have sweet then remember do have sweet have chocolate happy now. It's favorite chocolate from Aldi German chocolate brand because mom go Aldi yesterday I stay in car before she go I act like eat something and make c shape she undand meant chocolate wanted and got 2 one have pretzels inside

[ID: A dun Criollo horse walking through a large, open pasture. The horse's forelock is very long and covering their eyes. The background is a simple expanse of endless-looking grass that meets a gray-blue sky.] via

Forgot how bright the sun can be yesterday. even with my sunglasses I got a migraine I really need a pair of sunglasses that pretty much block all light

Stay away from this post if diapers are a fetish or kink for you. This is about my experience with incontinence as a high support needs autistic. Not about kink or fetish so stay away.

Guess a good thing is mom knows about my accidents and bought adult pull ups for me. Im happy? Cant think of different word I finally have something to keep pants and bed from getting yuck. but also really embarrassed cus I'm a adult and should be able to control being able to go to the bathroom. And there is butterflies on them and that is making me dysphoric but between not wearing them or wearing them I'd rather choose wearing them since the other option is uncomfortable and yuck. Mom also said she will start giving me showers 2 or 3 times a week hopefully that will be true because showers every once a month to month and and half is not great feels gross.

The appointment went ok I guess. Mom told the doctors that the whole not being able to walk is from a pots flare up and maybe it could be but feel like going from being able to not really feeling my right leg but left leg was just sorta numb to barely at all feeling both them, not being able to move them much and not being able to stand and walk isn't from POTS. Going to be going back on all medications previously on and going back to infusions so that's good for our POTS. But wish the whole leg thing and the numbness in my whole body and spasms and all the other shit that goes with it that doesn't seem like pots would be looked in to

Very nervous. heart Doctor appointment today and go leave for it soon . Don't like going doctors it's loud and bright and doctors most time not help an just say come back few weeks months. Least after get go thrift store and food place -keegan

Why does jasper get to control body not me why I have to never be my body angry anxious this is my body not his never his . Miss so much of life miss so much what happens and he gets pretend owns my body and trys push me out

stimming to music really late at night is such a good feeling. I should be asleep but the music is to good

See videos of people ice skating and figure skating and I love seeing videos of ice skating but I get so jealous. I want to do that. I want to spin super fast on ice

Over these past few days my brother and sister have been correctly gendering me and it feels so right and euphoric. People I don't know have been correctly gendering me for a few months and before that it was occasional. They both have still been slipping up and calling me she which is expected because they've called me she for as long as I was born. I'm especially surprised my brother is calling me he, sometime in November of last year around the time I came out he said he would never see me as a man but he'd call me by male pronouns if that's what made me comfortable. He could still believe that I guess I'll never know for certain if he does or not. My mom has also been trying to gender me correct I think, I've noticed when someone slips up and there's someone else around that other person slips up too until the other person starts using he. I don't feel as mad about them slipping up anymore especially since they are actually trying to call me he. Thing that sucks is around my Grammy(grandma) they have to call me she since I'm not out to her yet. I don't know how she doesn't know, she's following one account I have that has my pronouns as 'he/him/his' and every time I'm misgendered I make faces, sounds or hit myself. I really don't want to come out to her, but she lives with us so its impossible not to. Wish mom, bro and sis could just start calling me he around her and her figure it out from there. I wanted mom to tell her, but mom said that we have to tell her together so once I get my AAC device I'll tell her with mom. I know her reaction is more likely not to be as good as all my other reactions to me coming out has been. Same with the rest of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins) they'll probably not like it either and that would probably be the big gossip for a bit. Something I've wondered for a while is how my dad would react but he's not in my life so I don't care but sometimes I'll think 'what would he think about me being his son instead of his daughter. Would he accept me as his son?' he will probably find out at some point though. I wonder what Thanksgiving and the Christmas dinners and birthday partys or Easter with aunts and uncles and cousins will be like, they're already something I don't like (besides birthday partys and easter at a specific aunt and uncles house because they let me go to their room and play my uncles Xbox the whole gathering). Most family probably aren't going to take it well but maybe I'm wrong, I was wrong about what my mom's reaction would be. In the past she's said transphobic stuff not super transphobic or often but still hearing stuff like that makes you not want to come out to a person but I guess she's changed after figuring out I'm trans

Shout out to those who have to be carried or dragged around their house because their house isn't accessible to their mobility aids

Shout-out to those who have to crawl and scoot around their house because their house isn't accessible for their mobility aids

Shout out to those who have to use a office chair with wheels around their house because their house isn't accessible to their mobility aids

It's fucking tough having a inaccessible house

Life's exhausting, frustrating and uncertain right now but at least there's grilled cheese for breakfast and coloring in coloring books while listening to Christmas music

Our wheelchair does not fit through our doorways:/ I'm hoping we can get a new chair that's not so wide but it will be a while or get the doorways widened. So I asked my brother to ask mom to get one of those spinny chairs with wheels for me to get around the house n he said mom respond that she'll try to find a cheap one. Hopefully that fits through the doorways because being dragged hurts a lot and bruises. I honestly don't know if my ability to use our legs will come back. I do still think and hope that we will be able to own horses. We will need help with taking care of them but even if our ability to walk comes back we would still need help to take care of our future horses anyway and we knew this before our legs stopped working

Something I absolutely fucking hate and am still triggered by that happened today is that when I fell one of my abusers had to carry me that wouldnt have been so bad if after he put me on the couch he started touching my leg and thigh and a bit of my butt for one people touching my leg makes them spasm bad and two he had sexually abused us so that absolutely made me fucking dissociate even more than i already was

Appointment is the 25th my brother just got the days mixed up. I still can't move my legs much and I can't beat weight on them. I'm hoping my chair fits in my room (hate having a extremely small room ) so I can use it my brother says it won't. Hoping it can be put outside my door. But since theres no ramp to outside right now I won't be able to get out past the little platform unless I get out my chair and pull myself down with my arms and then pull my chair with me but the getting back up would be the hardest. If any wheelchair users have tips on all this I'd love to know them

Been falling a lot recently. Fell today trying to go up the stairs after taking oisín out and had to be carried because my legs wouldn't hold my weight. Probably going to be very bruised there where a lot of attempts to get me standing. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to walk, worried this means I won't be able to own horses but I have brother and sister who would help with taking care of the horse which I will need wether i am full time in a wheelchair or not. But the house is not at all wheelchair accessible for my current chair. Im going to take a nap falling takes so much fucking energy and apparently have appointment tomorrow instead of 25th