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elfyelation · 8 months

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𝐢'𝐦 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 | oneshot

pairing—astarion x m!tav summary—when tav falls ill, everyone at camp is surprised to find that astarion is intent on staying by his side until he’s better warnings—illness, mention of poison, soft astarion, worried astarion, worried party, hurt/comfort, extensive use of pet names, super soft, extreme fluff word count—754 rating—teen note—this is entirely self-indulgent because i’ve been really ill this past week (thanks covid) and the whole time i was thinking about how astarion would comfort tav if he was hurt/sick so i came up with the idea for this

“How is he?” he asks and for what might be the first time, she can hear sincerity in his voice.

“Better,” the cleric sighed, “He’s getting better but he’ll still need some time to recover. You can sit with him but if I see those fangs of yours anywhere near him—”

Astarion rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. "I assure you, Shadowheart, my intentions are far from what you seem to believe. I would never harm Tav. Surely that much has become clear to you by now?"

The sceptical half-elf hummed, “I suppose he will be safe enough for now. Even if your concern for him was a lie I doubt you’d want to risk sucking up any poison that might still be loitering in his veins.”

He knew she had every right to be distrusting of him, especially when it came to Tav’s safety. He only hoped one day they would all finally see just how much Tav really meant to him. That his feelings weren’t a lie. Until then, he’d have to make do with their concern over their friend and his questionable taste in partners.

“A… Astarion?” His weak voice croaked out the moment the vampire spawn ducked inside the tent.

Tav was laying on the blankets, his body completely sweat-ridden as his face contorted with discomfort. He was in still pain, still so vulnerable.

Astarion was by his side in an instant, his cold hands reaching out to gently touch his lover’s forehead. “Don’t worry, darling, I’m here. I’m right here.”

The cool touch of his hand was welcome as it immediately began to cool Tav’s fever. Gale had already expressed his suspicion that it would do as much. There certainly were at least a few perks of being undead.

“Let’s cool you down, shall we?” He wasted no time removing his shirt before crawling down beside his lover. One strong arm gently wrapped around Tav and pulled him closer, hoping that the coldness of his skin would help ease at least some of the pain.

Tav's laboured breaths finally began to slow as he nestled into the embrace, finding solace in the chill of Astarion's body. His fingers wrapped themselves around the cool arm around him, pulling it closer to his chest.

The vampire spawn chuckled against his ear. “Easy, little love, I’m not going anywhere.” His fingers traced delicate patterns on Tav's forehead, willing the fever to subside.

Outside the tent, Shadowheart kept a close eye on the pair and, in doing so, her initial scepticism gradually gave way to a begrudging acceptance of the vampire's genuine concern. She couldn't deny the tenderness she saw in Astarion's eyes as he cared for their companion. It was a side of him she hadn't seen before. A side of him she hadn’t even known was there.

Maybe it wasn’t just about self preservation or sexual desire. Just maybe he truly did care for Tav. She never thought love was something he was capable of but the longer she watched them, the more she realised just how wrong she had been.

Soon enough, his lover was sound asleep in his arms. Sleeping without a sign of pain or discomfort. It was the first time he’d slept properly since his affliction which meant Shadowheart was right, he was getting better.

“You know, you really scared me for a moment there. I… I thought I was going to lose you. I don’t want to go through that again.”

He spoke despite knowing there was no one to hear him. Speaking to a sleeping lover who, as if on instinct, rolled over to snuggle closer into him.

"I'll protect you with everything I have, my love," Astarion murmured, "I promise you that. You mean more to me than I ever thought possible." He knew that Tav couldn't hear him, but the words were as much for himself as they were for his lover.

Astarion had always been a creature of darkness, bound by instinct and desire. Forced to do his cynical master’s bidding. Yet, in Tav's presence, he had found a glimmer of something different, something more profound. It was a love he never thought he deserved, but now that he had it, he would do anything to defend it.

And so, beneath the starlit sky, Astarion held Tav close, vowing silently to cherish every moment they had together, determined to prove that his love was not just words but a promise to protect and endure, no matter the cost.

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chaoticbardlady99 · 3 months

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CW: descriptions of violence, angst (I think)

Astarion holds your face, your now ruby red eyes shedding tears as you stare back at him. He wishes this blasted gate wasn’t keeping you away from him.

You had disappeared suddenly while exploring the Sewers- all of you had split up to look for parts of Dribbles the Clown.

You, unfortunately, stumbled upon Cazador’s dungeon and he changed you.

Astarion wouldn’t have known you were down here if Violet hadn’t goaded him earlier that night- sneering at him when he said he would “ascend them all”.

“Oh really,” she smiled maliciously at him, “even though it means sacrificing that ‘Darling’ of yours?”

Astarion swallows the thick dread in his throat as he follows the freshly carved runes into your chin and neck. This was not what Astarion had meant when he wanted eternity with you. He assumed it would be with him changing you- it would have been a gentle start to your new life as a Vampire Spawn- it shouldn’t have happened like this.

The rest of the sacrifices weighed on the more moral part of him heavily, but you? Losing you would be all consuming.

“Star,” you whisper, “Star, please look at me.”

Astarion can barely get himself to look back into your eyes. You are still the most beautiful person he has ever seen, met, or even been allowed to be in the presence of. Gods, he loves you. Sometimes he looks at you and thinks maybe they did answer his prayers.

“I understand,” you say with a soft smile, “do what will make you happy.”

When the sentence clicks in his head- it stuns him. How could he ever be happy without you? How is that even a question?

But what other choices does he have? The only way he’ll be able to free you is if he releases all 7,000 vampire spawn- that sounds like a horrible idea for multiple reasons. He can’t see through his own tears.

“Darling-“

“I love you, Astarion,” you say through a choked smile, “I am eternally yours- in any plane- and I am so so so proud of you.”

“Astarion,” Shadowheart warns, “we need to go, there are more creatures showing up.”

You place a kiss on the palm of your hand before placing it back to his cheek- your tears are even stronger now, but you keep smiling at him. Reassuring him that it’s okay- you only want him to be happy.

The fight with Cazador barely registers to Astarion. The man started by saying terrible things to him, but not even that mattered anymore.

Astarion is so infuriated, enraged, numb that he tackles Cazador while the man won’t stop getting high off his own fumes.

Astarion stabs the man over and over and over again- his own screams getting lost in the chaos of the others killing the Undead Creatures surrounding them.

His unbeating heart feels like it’s been sliced into a million bits. Astarion’s entire world has been undone by this horrible, wretched, piece of shit man.

First, he took Astarion’s life.

Second, he took his autonomy.

Third, Cazador took you away from Astarion.

You- the first person in the entire world to show him kindness and support. You have saved him from himself and the world over and over again. You stayed even when he tricked you. You’ve been patient with him and you love him for him- not just his body- and Cazador took that away from him.

The first person he has ever fallen in love with.

Cazador is barely recognizable by the time Astarion allows him to go back to his coffin.

It’s the longest moment of Astarion’s life- he says everything he wants to say, he even tells Cazador he is ascending in his place. Astarion is so full of adrenaline and rage he isn’t even thinking.

“Ha! You are no better than me, boy,” Cazador goads, “you would sacrifice that stupid fool who supposedly loves you? The only reason they are even in there- even a lowly Spawn- is because they refused to tell me where you were.

“What a horrible way to die, but what a fitting ending for your only love, you pathetic runt.”

No it isn’t.

It’s not a fitting ending.

You deserve to live more of your life and- if he’s being honest with himself- Astarion never wants to live without you. He had to do that for 239 years and he’s not about to do that for an eternity more.

So he kills Cazador and then releases the spawn, but he’s quickly pushing past all 7,000 spawn and right to you- you barely made it to the threshold of your prison when he’s tackling you to the ground.

“I love you too,” Astarion whispers into the crook of your neck, “and I am eternally yours.”

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solmesia · 6 months

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as much as i like halsin, your tav x astarion just hits different. when will they be together again 😔

my hyperfixations shift to both of his boyfriends but i appreciate you appreciating Saraqael

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tav #m!tav #astarion x tav #astarion x m!tav #my art #old doodle #asks #anon

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sorn-orlith · 6 months

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Yessss I love that you're making content especially for masc characters!!

Could I request m!Tav and Astarion finally having a nice spa/grooming session? They deserve it 🥺

Warm water slips off Astarion’s hair as though it were made of stone. On the next pour, Tav attempts to rub it through, only for his hand to come out coated in a thin, sticky film.

“Gods, what is this? Did you fall in a vat of hot wax, or do vampires just secrete this on their own?”

“It’s grease,” sighs the vampire, with just enough breath to indicate he’s put out at having to educate someone he’s shared a bed with on basic hair maintenance, if only just. “Did you think my hair just did this on its own?”

“Maybe. There are a lot of things about you that you make look effortless.”

Astarion’s hmm is forgiveness enough.

This is going infinitely better than their previous grooming endeavor. While initially Astarion had expressed initial interest in an evening of pampering, the prospect of stripping down to nothing in front of strangers in the spa had proven overwhelming when the moment arrived.

Tav won’t admit it to his face for fear of a tongue lashing, but he’s proud of Astarion. Not just for trying something new, but for having the guts to tap out unprompted.

He hopes his hands can convey his pride in words’ absence.

After a few more pours, the grease begins to loosen on his hair. It’s Tav’s cue to begin frothing the soap in his hands and massaging it into his hair. Thick shafts give way to thicker fingers. Tav works the suds from the tips all the way to the roots, then again into the scalp. Luckily for Astarion, his half-orc lover keeps his nails blunt enough to avoid scraping.

Astarion’s eyes have drifted closed — not for fear of soap, but for a genuine comfort, evidenced by the harsh lines on his brow slowly smoothing out.

By the time he’s rinsing out the lather, the vampire has stopped breathing. It’s a habit of his Tav has picked up on over the months spent together — his lover will give up the practiced pretense when the worry has left him, when at last he is at peace.

He’s fallen into his trance.

Tav finishes his task delicately so as not to wake him. Tenderly, he wrings the last of the water from his locs, and for the first time ever he’s able to appreciate the way his clean, wet hair falls in straight strands down his cheeks.

Since Tav isn’t sure where he prefers his part, Tav combs the strands straight back as gently as he’s able.

His skull fits perfectly in Tav’s massive hand, the muscles in his neck relaxed. White lashes part, revealing the red irises underneath.

It would seem he hadn’t slept at all.

“You’re just on time,” Tav teases. “I was about to carry you to bed.”

Astarion’s lips twist into a smirk. “Perhaps I could allow the indignity — just this once.”

#thank you so much -- my first ask!!!#I appreciate you!#long post #drabble #astarion x tav #astarion x m!tav #astarion x reader #sfw

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jadewing-realms · 5 months

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daisy, daisy, tell me your answer true...

#astarion x tav #astarion x m!tav #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #naven tlin'orzza #seldarine drow #bardlock #my tav #myart #bg3 fanart

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rsxavior · 6 months

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Concerning Astarion's feet low key based on this

“Fucking hells!” Tav cried out shoving Astarion’s offending appendage away from him. “Why is it always your godsdamn foot!” He scowled. His skin chilled from where it had touched him under the covers.

“It’s your fault really. You should know better than to try and steal that particular blanket from me.” He inched that foot back towards Tav, uncaring that the elf despised it. It was the entire point!

“Oh no! No no no! You keep that away from me! I am trying to rest.” He pushed back against him utilizing the pillow as a shield. “Take your blanket back yourself if it bothers you.”

“I would, my dear, except you’re a veritable thief when resting.”

“Dammit! You could use anything, words, your hands, anything but your cold ass foot!” Tav had enough and had started pelting Astarion with his pillow.

“Truly this is what you are resorting to now? All right, but remember you started this.” His fingers grasped the blanket he desired in question pulling it away from Tav. The sudden movement caused his lover to lose his balance, falling into a heap on their collection of pillows and blankets.

A glower that lacked any malice came over Tav. What followed was nothing short of a chaotic clash of pillows and blankets across Astarion’s tent. The sounds carried across the campsite.

“I swear I’m sleeping in my own tent from now on.”

“Please that is an empty threat as any. Admit it, you adore me too much for that.”

“Will the two of you cease bickering in there? Some of us still require eight hours of fully rest.” Came Gale’s voice, annoyed, from outside the tent.

Astarion and Tav exchanged a glance and their ‘fight’ started anew.

[ Expanded and rewritten here ]

#astarion #tav #astarion x m!tav #astarion x male tav #drabble #fanfic #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #a silly thought roaming around in my head #astarion x tav #my writing

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heyitsjess-writes · 7 months

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Death Didn’t Seem Quite so Bad a Fate

Astarion x m!Tav

Word count: 3,591 Rating: T

Sequel - You Brought my Dead Heart Back to Life Warnings: Major character death, it's temporary though, depictions of violence and blood, mild cursing, angst Summary: Death was not a new concept for Astarion. When you’re a vampire spawn and you’ve just helped stopped the world from being dominated by a Netherbrain you have both seen and experienced your fair share of death. Death didn’t seem quite so bad a fate when you have a mysterious, undead being freeloading at your camp. Who, for just a small fee, would resurrect any companion you asked for, no questions asked.

Death was not a new concept for Astarion. When you’re a vampire spawn and you’ve just helped stopped the world from being dominated by a Netherbrain you have both seen and experienced your fair share of death. Death didn’t seem quite so bad a fate when you have a mysterious, undead being freeloading at your camp. Who, for just a small fee, would resurrect any companion you asked for, no questions asked. Or if your lover happened to be a cleric who could bring you back as soon as the battle is over. That worked just as well, too. No, death didn’t seem that bad at all when you had those options in your back pocket. Except now, the Netherbrain had been defeated and their small band of friends and allies had all gone their separate ways to continue on their own adventures. Leaving Astarion and Tav alone to begin their own, together.

Now death was suddenly a very real and very terrifying concept.

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Shaking, blood covered hands desperately clawed at Tav’s armor, trying to remove it to get to the source of the bleeding. A neck wound was a lovely thing, Astarion mused, when it was caused by him during quiet moments of intimacy. But now, as the clatter of heavy armor being tossed aside filled his ears, the wound on his love’s neck was the last thing he wanted to see. He pressed his hands firmly against the wound in a desperate attempt to slow the bleeding. Words started coming out of his mouth, unbidden. Words of comfort, gentle menstruations, telling Tav that everything was fine. The bleeding would slow down, they’d get him all patched up and they could go home. They would come back and look for the ring another day. It was all lies, of course. Pretty lies that he refused to admit. The wound was too deep and too close to the carotid artery. Astarion felt the blood gushing around his fingers, causing his hands to slip as he tried to keep the wound covered as blood pooled on the ground. He heard his love’s labored breathing start to become wet and blood began speckling his lips. Tav’s eyes found Astarion’s, once bright and full of life now glazed and fevered as his life slipped away. Tav’s lips moved, as if he was trying to say something but no sound came. Astarion watched in silent horror as Tav’s eyes lost focus, the last speck of life dimming as his head rolled to the side, body becoming limp under his hands.

A broken scream filled the air as Tav exhaled his final breath.

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“Is that what you want? Is this what you want? I would understand if you wanted to go your own way,” Astarion asked Tav. The two of them stood in the room Tav still had rented out in the Elfsong Tavern. The Netherbrain had been defeated only a few days prior and the citizens of Baldur’s Gate were still picking up the pieces after their lives were nearly ended by mind flayers and cultists alike.

Moonlight filtered through the curtains as Astarion waited for his partner to answer. The two had met up to talk about their future. What was next for them now that the world wasn’t in immediate peril. They had met under extenuating circumstances, grown closer together through shared trials. Now that the world didn’t need them to travel together Astarion needed to know where they stood, so he asked as much. What was next for the two of them? Tav offered to help look for a way to let Astarion walk in the sun again. To go on another adventure together as partners, equals. There was nothing Astarion wanted more than to stay with him, but he needed to make sure that staying with him is what Tav truly wanted. That he wasn’t staying with him out of some sort of obligation. With the tadpoles gone, Astarion belonged to the shadows once more. He would understand if Tav didn’t want to live that life. Being stuck roaming the streets in the dark of night just because his partner could no longer walk in the light of day.

“No, this is what I want,” Tav replied, a soft smile on his face, holding a hand out. Astarion sighed, letting out the breath he hadn't noticed he had been holding.

“Good, because selfless as I am, I really did not want you let you go,” he said, accepting Tav’s hand, pulling himself forward and wrapping his arms around Tav’s waist. “We are rather excellent together, you know. And united, there is nothing we can’t do. I can’t say what the future holds for us, but I know we’ll be facing it together. And we’re going to have a lot of fun.”

And they did have fun. Amidst all the reading and researching, the traveling and socializing with strangers who know a thing or two about rare artifacts. To following any lead they had, no matter how small, or if it led to a dead end. To the quiet, lazy mornings where they were wrapped in each other’s arms, fingers ghosting across bare skin, soft whispers of love and adoration being the only thing to break the silence. To the long nights full of raw passion, the desire to know and feel each other in the most intimate and sacred ways possible. To be connected body and soul in each other’s embrace and satisfy each other in ways only the other knew how. To simply walking hand-in-hand through the night as they traveled from one town to the next. It was all fun to Astarion. It was new, exciting, something he had never dared to dream about when he was under Cazador’s control. But here he was, free, traveling the world with the first person he has truly cared for. The first person who he has truly loved and who, by some miracle, loved him back. Even if all of their adventuring never bore fruit, if they never found a way to help him walk in the sun again, he wouldn’t trade any of it away for the world.

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Weeks of adventuring turned into months, months turned into years and they were not any closer to finding an artifact that would let Astarion walk in the sun. Once, they had been on the trail of a very promising artifact, the Cloak of Dragomir. It was last known to be in the possession of a vampire named Hexxat but the leads quickly went cold. It was almost as if she had simply vanished into thin air. Astarion didn’t mind though, while the cloak would have been nice it would not have been the same. He wanted to be able to stand out in the sun, arms stretched wide and soak in the rays as they danced across his skin. The same way he did the morning after his first night with Tav. A cloak would not have allowed him to do that. Astarion expressed as much in bed one morning, after the leads went cold for the cloak and Hexxat alike. Head resting on Tav’s chest as he laced his fingers with his partner’s, holding his hand.

“What kind of artifact are you hoping to find?” Tav asked, fingers from this other hand carding through the Astarion’s hair.

Astarion hummed, “Well, if I can get anything I want. How about a ring?”

The elf felt Tav move under him, raising his head a little to look at him. “A ring?”

“Yes, all these years together and you haven’t offered me a single one. I’m slightly offended you know, I thought that you would have tried to propose to me at least once by now Darling,” Astarion said, mock offense in his voice. “If the only way to get you to give me a ring is to have it be magical, then I’ll take it.”

Tav laughed, his chest rumbling underneath Astarion, “Alright Love, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good,” Astarion replied, shifting so he could be face to face with Tav, kissing him.

When Astarion had told Tav he wanted a magical ring to be able to walk in the sun, he hadn’t expected the man to actually find a lead.

“The Ring of the Sun-Walker. It’s said to look just like an ordinary iron band with a ruby inlaid in it. To any normal person that’s all it is, but if it’s worn by a vampire you would no longer take damage from the sun,” Tav said, opening a worn scroll he traded off a rare artifact merchant just that morning and handing it to Astarion.

“Darling, when I asked you to get a magic ring, I assumed you understood that a normal ring would do,” Astarion said, eyes flitting across the page, full of excitement. “But this is even better, where are we heading next?”

The first lead towards the ring was only a tenday journey away, deep into the forest. The merchant Tav got the scroll off of heard that a band of mercenaries were hired to escort and deliver a shipment of valuable, possibly powerful jewelry, to Baldur’s Gate. The most sought-after piece was a simple ring that was rumored to give the wearer unimaginable power. The shipment never arrived to its destination and the band of mercenaries were never heard from again. The group had supposedly decided to take a less traveled path but it would have greatly cut down their travel time, if they had made it. Many treasure hunters had searched the area with no luck of finding any sign of the missing mercenaries or the shipment. Now it was Tav and Astarion’s turn.

The journey to the approximate last location of the mercenaries was relatively uneventful. A couple of owlbear encounters, mingled with some undead here and there. While it was nothing the two of them couldn’t handle, it did take a hit to the supplies that they had brought. While Tav was a cleric, he liked to have some potions of healing and a scroll of resurrection on hand in case things took a turn for the worse. Astarion made light of it every time he saw Tav check their bags before they traveled. This time had been no exception.

“I don’t understand why you insist on bringing all of that with you. It’s just weighing you down since you can do all of that yourself, for free,” Astarion said, gesturing towards the scroll of resurrection on the desk. “You can never be too careful, Love,” Tav replied. “Well, I guess it’s fine. In case, by some ungodly amount of bad luck, I end up having to save you for once,” Astarion joked. “Just make sure that doesn’t happen. I don’t think my heart could take it. Plus, we both know I wouldn’t know a single thing about how to use that scroll. You clerics and bards like to make everything so convoluted.”

Tav had laughed at Astarion’s joke at the time, but he wasn’t laughing now as he set up camp for the night and looked over their remaining supplies. They had enough rations to get them through one more day before they ultimately had to begin the journey back home, hands empty, to restock and try again another time. They had one potion of healing left and the resurrection scroll he had meant to pack away had stayed on the desk at home, forgotten due to Astarion’s jesting during packing.

A snapping of branches under foot brought Tav back to the present as Astarion returned to camp after scouting the area. Before Tav could say anything, the elf was already talking, excited about what he found while out.

“Darling, I found a cave. It was tucked away in a nice little nook, completely taken over by vines and absolutely unassuming. I wouldn’t have noticed it at all if something in the cave hadn’t been glinting in the moonlight. This could be what we’re looking for.”

Tav glanced down at their packs before standing and gathering his weapon and shield. A slight shiver ran down his spine accompanied by a feeling that they were being watched, but he shook it off, “Alright, let’s see what we can find, shall we?”

The cave wasn’t far from where set up camp, but Astarion was right, even if it hadn’t been covered in vines the cave opening would have been hard to notice. It was small and tucked away in small crevice of the rockface. Pushing away the vines, Astarion led the way, eyes scanning the area for any sign of danger before venturing further in. When he deemed it safe, he moved forward, Tav close behind him. The inside of the cave wasn’t anything special on the surface, dark, damp, bones and other debris littering the ground, but Astarion was looking for something specific. His eyes scanned the ground for the item that had drawn his attention to the cave originally. It didn’t take long before he found it, a few feet in and mostly buried in the dirt was a hint of silver. Digging it out he found himself holding a bracelet, a very nice one if it was cleaned up and polished. Definitely something someone of the higher class would appreciate.

“Love look, do you think this could be part of that shipment?” Astarion asked, turning to show Tav his find, but found himself dropping the bracelet instead, eyes widening in surprise. Behind Tav, shrouded in darkness, was a bandit, slinking towards them, dagger ready to strike. They had probably been watching them as soon as they entered the area, following them as they searched, on the hunt for the same treasure as they were.

Tav turned to follow Astarion’s gaze, hand reaching for his weapon but was too slow. The bandit struck, dagger sliding between Tav’s neck and his armor. Striking him just above his collarbone. Tav stumbled backwards, dropping his weapon as his reached up, grasping at his neck. Before the attacker could turn their attention to Astarion, he was already on them. Dagger striking blow after blow in a frenzied rage, ending the bandit before they had a chance to defend themselves. The bandit collapsed to the ground in a crumpled heap, dagger embedded deep in its chest, forgotten, as the elf ran to his partner. Astarion fell to his knees next to Tav as he lay motionless on the ground, blood pooling quickly from the wound in his neck.

“No, nonono, you can’t die here,” Astarion pleaded, hands clawing desperately at Tav’s armor. Shaking fingers finding the clasps and pulled the chest piece away, tossing it unceremoniously to the side.

As soon as Astarion saw the wound his heart sank, there was nothing he would be able to do. The wound was too deep and too close to Tav’s carotid artery for a simple health potion to fix. Tav needed a proper healer and unfortunately the only healer around was the dying man himself. The only thing Astarion could do was put his hands on the wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding as best he could. He cursed himself for not accepting Tav’s offer to teach him basic healing spells. He had gotten comfortable. Tav rarely went down in battle. His heavy armor protected him enough that he was always able to heal at the end of a fight. Not once had Astarion thought that one well aimed dagger strike would be what took him down.

“You’re going to be alright Love,” Astarion said, panic tinging his voice. “Everything’s going to be fine. The bleeding will slow and you’ll be able to patch yourself up with that fancy healing magic of yours, alright? We’ll head back home so you can rest up and we can come back another day to look for the ring. I’ve gone this long without being able to walk in the sun. What’s a few more days?”

Astarion’s hands slipped on his lover’s neck, the flow of blood not slowing no matter how hard he tried. Tav’s labored breathing became wet as blood began speckling his lips with each breath out. Astarion watched Tav’s face as the color quickly drained from his cheeks. The pulse under his fingers was beginning to slow and breath was getting shallower. Tav’s eyes found Astarion’s. Once bright eyes were now dull and glazed over. Tav’s lips moved, attempting to form words but no sound came out.

“No Dear, don’t try to speak, conserve your energy, alright,” Astarion pleaded, pressing down harder on the wound as the pulse underneath his fingers continued to slow. Tav let out what could have been a laugh but it ended up being a small huff, a smile formed on his lips just before his head rolled to the side, hand reaching for something before his body went limp.

“No. No damn you! You can’t do this to me, wake up!” the elf cried, cupping Tav’s face between his hands, forcing him to face him. Blood streaked across the cooling skin as Astarion held his lover's face in between his hands. Blank eyes stared up, unseeing. Any life that had been there was now gone.

Astarion screamed. The cry ripping through him, powerful and raw, burning his throat, as he gathered Tav into his arms. Sobs wracked his body as he pulled his lover close. Hands practically tearing the fabric with how tight he was holding on. He doesn’t know how long he sat there, gently rocking the two of them back and forth as he wept. Head buried in his lover’s neck as his hand gently carded through Tav’s hair. Time had stopped for Astarion as soon as Tav had taken his last breath. This was his fault, he told himself. Tav would not be dead in his arms if he had not joked about not being proposed to. If he hadn’t suggested a magic ring as a replacement for a wedding band, Tav would still be here. He should have known that Tav, with his stupidly, beautifully, caring heart, would take it literally. He didn’t care if they were married or not. Being together had always been more than enough for him.

He should have seen this coming. His life had been too good for too long. He was stupid to think that he was allowed to live the rest of his days happy. Now his happiness had been ripped from him without a chance for him to even fight to keep it.

Too absorbed in his grief Astarion didn’t notice the glowing coming from Tav. It wasn’t until Tav’s body jolted in his arms, heaving as he inhaled, followed by coughing as his lungs spasmed at the sudden intake of breath that Astarion sat back. His eyes wide and full of disbelief as looked at his lover, now very much alive in his arms. He took in Tav’s face, still pale, covered in his own blood from where Astarion had held it, but color undeniably flowing back into his cheeks. Astarion’s hands still clutched tightly to the fabric of Tav’s shirt as his eyes wandered lower to Tav’s neck, the place where the fatal wound had been was now smooth. As if the wound had never existed at all. Lower they went still, until they reached Tav’s hands and that’s where he saw it. Held loosely in Tav’s right hand was his weapon.

The Blood of Lathander.

Astarion remembered the day they found it. It was shortly after venturing into the artifact and meeting the being that had been protecting them from the Absolute all those years ago. They found a hidden passage in a side room that lead to the weapon. Tav had insisted that there had to be a way to take the mace safely, but Astarion urged him to just reach out and grab it. What was the worst that could happen? Turns out the building being target by a laser powered by the sun was it. Their group had barely made it out of the creche before it was destroyed. Mace still in Tav’s hand.

Once per day, if the wielder dies in battle, the mace can bring them back to life.

Astarion had never been a religious man. None of the gods and goddesses had answered him when he called out to them during his darkest years, but now he may just turn to Lathander. Even if it was just to ensure the mace never stopped working.

“Hi Love,” Tav whispered, drawing Astarion’s attention back to him. A soft smile adorning his features as he wiped a tear from the elf’s face. “Did you miss me?”

Astarion said nothing. Instead, he cupped the back of Tav’s head and brought him in for a kiss, lips crashing together. It was a desperate kiss, full of fear, anger and most of all, relief. Astarion would have kissed Tav until the end of time if he could, but unfortunately, his lover needed to breath, unlike him. Pulling away Astarion rested his forehead against his Tav’s.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Astarion hissed, voice and hands shaking as he held Tav close. Afraid if he let go now Tav would simply disappear. “I wouldn’t be able to handle losing you like that again.”

Tav didn’t speak as he wrapped his arms around Astarion. The warm embrace, reassuring the elf that he was there and, as long as Tav had a say, he wasn’t going anywhere.

#astarion x tav #astarion x male tav #astarion x m!tav #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav

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actuallyevilgay · 4 months

Text

The Apathy (Part 1)

Astarion x Male Reader/Tav

DNI if you are a minor. Dead dove don’t eat. Please read my about before replying. Content: Astarion x Male tav, spoiler warning for act 3 and epilogue.

Summary: After the final battle, Tav disappears, perhaps to mend his broken heart. The adventure has done more damage to him than everyone thought at first. Notes: Astarion is the vampire ascendant, Tav is not a heroic figure. Contains headcanons for several characters, contains headcanons for illithid brain alteration but not evolving. Tav uses daggers and magic. Astarion is an Arcane Trickster Rogue. Content Warnings: Tav suffering from depression / ptsd, self-neglect. A/N: This is my first fic idea I wanted to explore. Some of these elements are inspired and used from my oc, I won’t overly describe Tav, but I wrote it with a long-living race in mind. So Elf, or Half Elf, or Tiefling and such. Tav would not age very quickly.

. . . . . .

The adventure had been.. Brutal. From the day you awoke on the nautiloid, all the way until you fought the nether brain. Without much peace in between the night, the fighting, the plot thickening, you remember every horror and every threat. You were not a hero, you’ve told Wyll that much. When he pleaded to hurry after the father that abandoned him, or when Karlach asked you to beat the shit out of some fake paladins.

You were not a hero, even as you helped up Shadowheart from the sands, or saved Gale from the portal or fed him a useless ring.

You told them, time and time again. Especially Astarion and Lae’zel, whose eyes pierced yours with a silent kinship. You did not trust any of them until they somehow managed to crawl into your heart.

Saving the tieflings wasn’t so bad, but everything went downhill from there.

And yet you still helped every friend you made, you kept promises and fulfilled them. You swallowed your pride as you consumed the powers from tadpoles, feeling the illithid magic take from you, childhood memories you might have once cherished. It made you numb, like you lost something- The ability to understand your own experiences. You could not put words to it, perhaps it scratched away the small bits of morality you harboured a very long time ago.

Jaheira certainly was stupid enough to trust you despite your lack of caution to the tadpoles. It wasn’t until the emperor revealed himself that you realised power comes at a price. For a moment, sense returned- you killed the very thing that promised you evolution with a stomp. No, you would not let this adventure take more than it already had.

Perhaps it was too early to think that it could not take more. Baldur’s gate had come. And everything was horrible. You remember the dread as you led Shadowheart back into her cult, to slay the woman who had raised her. You dread with every fibre of your body as Orin kidnapped Gale, you fear for his life. You remember Karlach’s heartbreak at the corpse of the man she once trusted most in the world. As unheroic as you claimed to be, you still helped save Wyll’s father.

And then.. Vampires. The night raid on the camp. It was time to face Astarion’s nightmare. You were in love with the pale elf. Sharing stories of your past as you struggled to keep it together. You needed to be strong for all of them, not just him…

Leading this band of adventurers into the mouth of hell, time and time again, coming out victorious and triumphant. You don’t remember if you were smiling, but you remember their faces clearly, when you let him ascend.

It had occurred to you that you were sacrificing 7000 souls. But you didn’t care about the cost, beaten and broken from the fight. The colourful edges of once rich, lively looking eyes staring down the back of your lover.

Cazador’s screams were delightful. The agony, the pleasure of taking from him what he wanted most and giving it to the person who had been your entire world the past few months. It was everything.

And you were berated for making the choice.. Your friends wouldn’t fight you on it, so close to the end. It wasn’t until Jaheira pulled you aside and fussed over your mental state that your numbness subsided for a moment.

Are you even a good person? ..Does it matter?

The memory of Astarion’s sultry voice thanking you for your actions and talking of a reward was blurry, like it wasn’t real.

‘’What can I do for my dearest pet?’’

‘’Huh?’’ You looked up at him, as if shaken from a dream.

‘’Darling, there must be something you want? Don’t be dense..’’

There was silence, before you opened your mouth again. ‘’I’m sorry, all I can think about is sleep.. We’ll have to face the netherbrain soon. Gods.. I’m tired.’’

You barely remember the rest of that conversation. Astarion wanted something from you and expected you to know what it was, but all you could think about was how exhausted you were.

He hurt you with words, and you hurt him with silence. It numbed you so bad the memory was lost in the sea of nightmares. You don’t remember why you broke up. You don’t remember why, but it hurt you so much to even look at him. It hurt you so much to be around these people.. These people you loved. These people who were your dear friends. After it all was over.. When Karlach and Wyll descended into Avernus and Lae’zel flew away on a red dragon, you just looked to the sky absently. Barely hearing Shadowheart’s suggestion of sharing a drink. You could feel Astarion’s eyes staring into your back as you left without a word, leaving the remainder of your friends bewildered and confused. You couldn’t hear Gale calling for you as you disappeared into the streets and left Baldur’s gate for good.

All these memories were scarce and incomplete. Like a long distant echo of a time you wanted to leave behind. You disappeared like you never even existed, and even the city itself seemed to have forgotten about its saviour.

……

Six months later, your old friends gathered together to talk about their lives, a party organised by Withers himself at your dear old camp.

‘’I did not expect you to be here, out of everyone.. To be honest with you.’’ Gale arrived early, to be met with Astarion who wore his prideful new garments with much flair. ‘’Ugh, you look like a mess Gale. No offense.’’ He eyed the wizard up and down. ‘’I would’ve liked to be fashionably late, but I prefer doing things differently.’’ Astarion added, waving his hand in a dismissive manner.

Gale laughed a little. ‘’Ah, I thought I was running late myself.. But yes, I should’ve taken my time before coming. These are my teacher’s robes!’’ He nervously scratches the back of his head, making a faint smile. ‘’It doesn’t take that much time to make an effort. You could’ve tried at least.’’ Astarion speaks in a familiar tone, ‘’But,’’ He takes a breath, ‘’ You were the clumsiest out of everyone, it reminds me of the many times you’ve slipped on your own ice spells, Tav would complain about it a lot. I shouldn’t expect too much from you.’’ His tone remained friendly. Astarion grew tired of the conversation. Pondering when his lost love would arrive. He had so many questions for him.. The memory of his departure haunted him.

‘’And this is why you are never getting married, Mr Dekarios.’’ Tara nearly startled Astarion as she spoke up. ‘’Tara! I do my best alright? Six Months is not enough to recover from several near death experiences, having a netherese orb extracted from- and.. and I’ve only just landed this job!’’

The mind numbing conversations continued as every guest slowly made their show. Even as Wyll and Karlach were magically transported to this familiar place, as shadowheart and Lae’zel joined hand in hand, declaring their relationship. They would not shut up.

Jaheira, Halsin, and Minthara were here too. Even Minsc! Everyone.. Except..

Astarion stared into the night sky, expecting Tav to arrive any moment now. Withers let out a loud ‘’ahem’’ as he made a toast.

‘’Where is Tav?’’ Astarion interrupted. ‘’Are you still expecting him to come, fanged one?’’ Jaheira interjected. ‘’Is that the only reason you are here?’’ Everyone grew quiet.

‘’Oh, I am here for the drama alright.’’ Astarion snarled back at Jaheira. ‘’Do you have the faintest idea why he isn’t here?’’ Astarion’s voice had a growl.

Jaheira’s expression softened. ‘’Don’t blame me, I tried to follow after him as you were satisfied with your diabolical ascension and crimson palace.’’

Astarion wanted to do many things, but arguing was not one of them. He waited for Jaheira to continue speaking.

‘’I could not find him, I tried. It’s like he erased himself from existence. He doesn’t want to be found.’’ The harper spoke with a melodic sadness, but also acknowledgement.

‘’Why did you come, Astarion? Did you want to gloat in front of him?’’ Shadowheart added.

‘’No.’’ Astarion’s reply was quick. ‘’I don’t know why, anymore. Why did he leave? After all we’ve been through?’’ He masked his desperation, not wanting to appear weak in front of his old friends. He knew they judged him for his actions. For the way he spoke to Tav when they broke up. For the way he lied bitterly through his sharp teeth when Tav needed him most.

‘’Perhaps,’’ Karlach’s voice broke slowly. ‘’It was all too much for him, wasn’t it?’’ She turned to withers, expectantly for an answer. The old skeleton shook his head. ‘’His soul remains on the mortal plane.’’ Everyone’s eyes widened.

Jaheira shakes her head. ‘’The question remains, is it even a good idea to search for him?’’

‘’Well.. If I were him, I would want my friend to know if I’m doing alright. Oh- and I am doing quite fine, don’t worry.’’ Gale’s reply was met with an eyeroll of both Jaheira and Astarion.

‘’Maybe he’s fighting battles elsewhere. He was a good leader.’’ Lae’zel suggests, but it doesn’t stop everyone from theorising.

Minsc and Wyll both came up with ridiculous suggestions, from bounty hunting kobolds to slaying giants. Something, something, with dragons? Gods. Shadowheart thought maybe he left to start a new life somewhere, perhaps as a labourer, but it bothered her that he wouldn’t write a letter at least.

Everyone had their own ideas and fantasies about what the hell Tav was doing, coming up with one new thing and the next. Travelling. Carpenting. Exploring the underdark. Farming. Solving murders, painting nobles, crafting potions, writing songs. Astarion could not picture it at all. The idea of not knowing after all this time stressed him out.

If he wasn’t dead, and still in this plane.. He had to be somewhere.. Working, living. Breathing? He had to be doing something.

‘’You did pass him your invitation letter, correct?’’ Astarion eyed Withers intensely.

‘’Yes.’’ A crude response, but it offered no further suggestions to the whereabouts or well being of their old friend.

‘’Then you know where he is.’’ Astarion’s glare expanded. ‘’Tell us.’’ The silence grew heavy. Withers’ dead eyes looked over the vampire, noting the hidden concern in his voice.

‘’Neverwinter. I will not say more.’’

‘’Why in the hells is he in Neverwinter of all places?’’ Astarion questions. ‘’He is baldurian..’’

‘’Perhaps to get as far away as he can, from you.’’ Jaheira’s remark bit through Astarion’s side, but he swallowed his pride and did not bark back.

‘’Baldur’s gate did take quite a hit..’’ Gale looked excited at the prospect of visiting Neverwinter. ‘’Maybe.. If I divine a little.. I could find him, or at least, scry on him?’’

‘’Guys- Guys! We shouldn’t just turn up or.. it might be different. Perhaps he’s.. On an undercover mission!’’ Karlach tried to hide her excitement. ‘’Oh- But I do miss him.. Maybe-’’ The idea of joining in on an adventure to find their lost friend was refreshing, only to realise she still needed to pay Dammon a visit before she could even consider it. And as a result, miss out.. She let out a loud sigh,

‘’..You can scry on him? Why haven’t you?’’ Astarion turned to Gale, who stuttered in response.

‘’Well.. I.. Tried, but something blocked me out. I think he pushed me away.’’ Gale’s reply did only make the matter more concerning.

‘’Push you?’’

‘’You remember when we had those parasites? It was kind of like that.. I only just locked in on him, and felt a harsh push.’’

‘’I’d be godsdamned if he turned into a mindflayer after all-’’ Wyll interrupts, the panic finally hits him too. ‘’After all he’s been through-’’ Everyone exchanged looks and glances, expressions ranging from horror to helplessness.

‘’No.’’ Withers interrupted. ‘’His soul remains.’’ The rising tension calmed immediately.

‘’But you did see him?’’ Astarion turns back to Gale.

‘’Barely, I’m sorry.’’ The wizard shook his head.

Astarion huffs. ‘’I had enough. Forget about the toast.’’ He leaves the party, pondering about all the information he had just learnt, replaying the scene of his departure in his head.

The tadpoles. The god damn tadpoles. He remembers that night, after he ascended. His dearest Tav, barely keeping his eyes open. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ His drained eyes, scattering over the floor. ‘’Gods, I’m tired.’’

He remembers his spat. His little.. Unfortunate mistake. No, the biggest mistake. The yelling, the hurtful words. Tav barely responded, his eyes said so much and yet so little.

After the netherbrain fell, that look on his face remained. Lightless. Dull, empty. Broken.

The job was finished. He must’ve walked without much thought. Astarion curses under his breath as he makes his return to Baldur’s gate.

He should’ve gone after him before. But now he knows where to find him.

#ascended astarion x male tav #astarion x m!tav #ascended astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction

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