the typical Asian family

Since I was a child, I have thought highly of myself. I thought I was cut above the rest and was superior to almost everyone. Maybe because that's what every parent tells you. "You are intelligent and you shall make us proud", those words were stuck in my mind when I was a child. I was like their trophy just because I was slightly advanced compared to children my age. I was not the first born but was the last hope of our family. I needed to be the best among our relatives because that's what Papa says so. I need to do it, I have to do it.

But when the pressure becomes too high it would explode. I became tired of studying but I still went to school. I didn't excel in high school because what I thought was my best, was not the same as my peers. I graduated from high school as an average student without any outstanding qualities. Thankfully, I still got into a university.

I promised myself that when I get into college I'll be the best that I could be. But it's too late. While I was chilling in high school my peers already had the skills and knowledge that I don't have. I ended up failing a subject in my first year of college. I still tried my best to be an average student but even my best can't reach the average area. I'm still in college waiting as time passes by while everyone is running around.....I'm still stuck in a time loop by myself.

Desi Parenthood, Adoption, and Stereotypes

I have a story set in the modern day with supernatural traces, with three characters: a young boy, his bio dad, and his adoptive dad. The boy and his bio dad are Indian, the adoptive dad is Chinese. The bio dad is one of the few people in the story with powers. He put his son up for adoption when he was a child because at the time he was a young single father, had little control of the strength of his powers: he feared accidentally hurting his child. The son is adopted by the other dad, who holds spite to the bio dad for giving up his son since he lost his father as a young age and couldn't get why someone would willingly abandon their child. This also results in him being overprotective and strict over his son. When the child is older, the bio dad comes to their town and the son gets closer to him, which makes the adoptive dad pissed, mostly acting hostile to the other guy, paranoid that he'll decide to take away the child he didn't help raise. Later when they get closer he does change his biases. I can see the possible stereotypes here: the absent father being the darkskinned character, the light-skinned adoptive dad being richer than the bio dad, the lightskinned character being hostile and looking down on the darkskinned character, the overprotective asian parent, the adoptive dad assuming the bio dad abandoned the son. The reason for his bias isn't inherently racist, but I get how it can be seen that way. Is there a way to make this work? Would it be better to scrap it?

Two problem areas stand out with this ask: 

You seem confused with respect to how racial stereotypes are created, and what effect they have on society.

Your characterization of the Indian father suggests a lack of familiarity with many desi cultures as they pertain to family and child-rearing.

Racial Stereotypes are Specific

Your concern seems to stem from believing the absent father trope is applied to all dark-skinned individuals, when it’s really only applied to a subset of dark-skinned people for specific historical/ social/ political reasons. The reality is stereotypes are often targeted.

The “absent father” stereotype is often applied to Black fathers, particularly in countries where chattel slavery or colonialism meant that many Black fathers were separated from their children, often by force. The "absent black father" trope today serves to enforce anti-black notions of Black men as anti-social, neglectful of their responsibilities, not nurturing, etc. Please see the WWC tag #absent black father for further reading. 

Now, it’s true many desis have dark skin. There are also Black desis. I would go as far as to say despite anti-black bias and colorism in many desi cultures, if one was asked to tell many non-Black desis from places like S. India and Sri Lanka apart from Black people from places like E. Africa, the rate of failure would be quite high. However, negative stereotypes for desi fathers are not the same as negative stereotypes for non-desi Black fathers, because racially, most Black people and desis are often not perceived as being part of the same racial group by other racial groups, particularly white majorities in Western countries. Negative stereotypes for desi fathers are often things like: uncaring, socially regressive/ conservative, sexist. They are more focused around narratives that portray these men as at odds with Western culture and Western norms of parenting. 

Desi Parents are Not this Way

Secondly, the setup makes little sense given how actual desi families tend to operate when one or both parents are unable to be present for whatever reason. Children are often sent to be raised by grandparents, available relatives or boarding schools (Family resources permitting). Having children be raised by an outsider is a move of last resort. You make no mention of why your protagonist’s father didn’t choose such an option. The trope of many desi family networks being incredibly large is not unfounded. Why was extended family not an option?

These two points trouble me because you have told us you are writing a story involving relationship dynamics between characters of both different races and ethnicities. I’m worried you don’t know enough about the groups you are writing about, how they are perceived by each other and society at large in order to tell the story you want to tell.

As with many instances of writing with color, your problem is not an issue of scrap versus don’t scrap. It’s being cognizant of the current limits of your knowledge. How you address this knowledge deficit and its effect on your interpretation of your characters and the story overall will determine if readers from the portrayed groups find the story compelling.

- Marika.

I have one response: what? Where are the father’s parents? Any siblings? Is he cut off? Is he American? A Desi that has stayed in India? 

Estrangement is not completely out of the question if the father is Westernized; goodness knows that I have personal experience with seeing estrangement. But you haven’t established any of that. What will you add?

-Jaya

I may be white, unmarried, and not a dad, but I am so ready to be this genre of father

Edit: I can't figure out how to get rid of this space so I'm just writing this here

jesus ive been reading this comic 4 like 5 yrs

heres some emilio doodles bc bc idk

emi; “oh tobias! u dont have 2 b flawless 2 b perfect!”

yes im thinking about that 1 panel where tobi was just like “THATS A LIE”

19:45 into the absolute rom-com classic Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na bc i wanted to feel good today and revisit a little bit of nostalgia and i was in the romcom mood so. here we are. anyway, this movie is like Camp Excellence, and also astonishingly well directed, i'm glad young me had great taste, this movie is very much from the year 2008, but, along with Mamma Mia! which somehow also released in 2008, nothing else even comes close to making me love love and life as this does.

Ramy » S3E3 (aka every Immigrant father ever)

- Farouk, it's only a song okay? Probably [Obama's] daughters pick up his songs for his playlist. - You're just saying that because you didn't hear the song "Savages" by Megan the Horse.

Turned Tables (Stepfather)

Ken could never get his stepson Trent to respect him no matter how hard he’d try, Trent was a total fraternity douche who always left a mess and refused to clean it up, and always disrespected Ken and made fun of his appearance.

One day when Ken’s stepson was visiting Ken forgot to lock the door while he was in the bathroom and his stepson intruded right in, before Trent could make any jokes about Ken’s slender frame something weird began happening as Reality as they knew it was beginning to change forever.

Ken began to feel his muscles tense up as they began to grow, making him overall more muscular with the growing sensation spreading throughout his entire body as he began to grow in height and in some other areas.

Ken examined his new body before noticing his stepson had been completely drained of his hard-earned muscle looking just as scrawny as he had been, his stepson wanted to say something but before he could he felt his confidence and personality being drained out of him as he felt himself becoming more meek and submissive.

Ken on the other hand began to look more dominant as he had gained the confidence his stepson had lost.

“Son what have I told you about walking in on me in the bathroom!” Ken said stern

“I- uhm I’m so sorry Father” Trent said nervously as he exited the bathroom.

Trent was now a scrawny nerd who studied computer science at home since he was scared to leave his daddy’s protection, safe to say his frat days were long behind him like they never existed.

Ken, on the other hand, took on a much more dominant but protective role in Trent’s life he really cared for his stepson like he was his own and wanted what was best for him and hoped he could find Trent a nice Asian husband to protect and take care of him perhaps one of his co worker’s sons.

I love when lili told Qian u have been a brother a father and a mother for me . It's so touching when the people we love recognize what we are doing for them . I felt like Qian needed to listen to those words he needs to be told that's he's loved , that's he's been doing fine, although all the hardships he went through since he was a kid wasn't for nothing . Qian raised a FAMILY and him carrying on his shoulder all the parental figures to raise it😭

#unknown series is making me so emotional

A father and his unhappy son outside his shop in Chinatown, 1926. The source doesn't actually say which Chinatown, but the picture is too cute not to post.

Photo: Bettmann Archive/Getty Images/Fine Art America

Actually, I really wish Tumblr as a whole was less comfortable using feminizing language for gay men, especially gay East Asian men.

How to wake up Asian dads