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theageofsilence · 3 years

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One of the things I'd like to explore is this argument that I thought of that summed up the sense of detachment I feel towards social theory when zoomers try to apply it so heavily in real life contexts. The idea that oppression is inherent to identity and vice versa.

When I first negated this it was in response to a statement that claimed that white lgbt cannot be more oppressed than poc of any background, thus suggesting that white supremacy is the dominant oppressive structure in our society.

As someone who is interesectionally affected by the white cisheteropatriarchy, as a black lesbian, I strongly disagree with the statement.

This way of thinking that I see my generation perpetuate led me to think about our environments and how so often the wider range of phobias and isms seldom touch us when we are living in insulated settings for example. How the oppression I felt most did not come from being a 1st gen african woman in a racist and imperial britain, but my religious community which of course manifested its misogyny and homophobia and racism differently. And before that it was my fathers violence which can be traced back to other destabilising circumstances but make no difference to the fact that he CHOSE to permeate violence.

So yeah im not saying that the cisheteropatriarchy is not oppressing us in various forms, i'm saying that its harmful to allign oppression purely with identity and in relation to these social schools of thought that are used to examine the way society hinders and harms groups with neutralised examples, or very specific contexts that of course don't NEED to factor in anything else.

Right now I wouldn't consider myself more oppressed than a white cishet woman who is being sex trafficked, and while her being a woman in a capitalistic and misogynistic society is what most likely made her vulnerable to such a situation, my point is oppression is often situational, and we need to normalise talking about this. We need to normalise talking about oppression as something interlinked with systems that persecute otherness but not inherent to every individuals reality because of the vast experiences each of us have on this planet.

I'm tired of seeing ignorant but well meaning kids dismiss real struggles because of someones proximity to whiteness or their cis presenting bodies etc

It absolutely pains me how people are not able to grasp that privilege and oppression can be in action at the same time, affecting the very same person. And more than that, that someone can quite literally be your stereotypical able bodied white cishet man but all this doesnt mean a fucking thing if hes mentally ill and failed by his immediate environment to the extent that he ends his life, which in itself is a form of slow burn negligence, bred by an extremely apathetic society.

Anyways these were just thoughts I wanted to put out there after seeing some zoomers jump a white gay millenial for expressing his sadness about never being able to experience pure teenage love decades ago because of how homophobic society was. And inevitably some kid brought up his whiteness, like it had anything to do with anything.

And God. I know most people aren't like this in real life, but it does depress me so.

#rambles #discourse #intersectionality #queer #theory

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catsnuggler · 3 years

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What didn't help my whole subconsciously-missionary-minded, silent-echoes-of-Mormonism socialism illusion, which made me think it would be selfish and wrong to demand my own liberation, was the misapplication of standpoint epistemology - put simply, when "identity politics" goes bad.

Putting the rest under a cut, because this is a long post.

While it's crude and ultimately incorrect to only say, for example, "Listen to Black voices", without emphasizing the critical thinking skills and empathy necessary to listen to Cornel West, and dismiss Candace Owens for the right-wing corporate hack that she is, what is for certain is that someone like me, a 100% white American settler of Mormon pioneer stock (on one side of my family, anyway), and with no formal education on the subject matter, doesn't have authority to speak on the experience of Black people in America. I have no argument against that, because it's true.

Continuing further, just because, in spite of the fact neither racism nor colonialism oppresses me, capitalism still does, this doesn't mean I have as much authority to speak on it as a Black member of the working class does, as anti-Black racism and capitalism compound on and depend on each other, making the lives of Black working class people more difficult than the lives of white working class people. Doesn't mean I can't speak on capitalism, just means I'm not the leading voice.

That being said - I'm going to talk as if I'm still a believing Mormon, let alone Christian, in this and the next paragraph, to better explain the subconscious workings of my mind, due to their brainwashing - the difference in our positions can be wrongly perceived, especially by someone raised in the illusory colonial missionary mindset, similar to the position of those with "the gospel" and those "of the world", where those with "the truth" have more, but are, like all, oppressed by "sin", yet at least believe themselves to have the knowledge and wherewithal to resist, while those "worldly" people aren't blessed with the wealth of God's Word, nor the solidarity of the church, and are thus further deprived of the perfection God desires for his children than those of His Flock already are, and must be ministered to, brought into the Fold, and Saved from On High.

Yet there must ever be a humility to such actions, there must ever be self-denial, for all are imperfect, even those in the church, as, just as Christ shed His blood, and allowed His flesh to be pierced, even to His death, in limitless sacrifice for the sins of all of the Children of Men, that they may be redeemed, so have countless socialist, communist, and anarchist revolutionaries died for the cause, and yet all who live, who do not seclude themselves from the world and its markets, facilitate the continued exploitation and robbery of each other by the capitalist class. All are imperfect, and all would deserve bondage and bloodshed, were it not for the bleeding hearts of the martyrs.

So, you see, even someone who consciously attempts to reject Christianity can still fall victim to its logic, even after abandoning the official doctrine of it, if proper safeguards against the general thought processes of it are not taken. Returning to the original point I've tried to raise, I've fallen for a long time to a Christian-esque stance of personal martyrdom for the sake of "saving others" to the point I believed pursuing my own liberation would be selfish.

I'm mentally ill and neurodivergent to the point that getting myself to even get into the habit of seeking jobs is difficult, much more so landing myself an interview; and getting an offer of employment? Only happened once, at the end of my first interview. As you predicted, the job sucked, they were desperate to hire me because it sucks, and it wasn't 3 months before I quit. I quit in late September of 2018. It's been almost 3 years of me not having a job.

I got my driver's license in mid 2019, but got into a minor parking accident that only broke a headlight on the car I drove, and didn't damage the other car, in September of that year. It was over a year before I drove again, because of the depth of my depression and anxiety over one accident, which cost about $150. Since January of this year, I've driven somewhat regularly, and have some measure of confidence, but am still anxious every time I'm behind the wheel. I could drive to and from a job, if needed, but it would be a while before that would be comfortable.

I still live with my dad, at the age of 23, and barely have any friends where I live anymore; those local friends I still have, I haven't seen face-to-face for a long time. My dad... my dad could die any day, and I would be royally fucked. Something happened earlier this month, and he wasn't healthy before, but this was really serious. He amazingly got away with few symptoms, and can make a full recovery with the right effort, except... it could still happen again, it would just be less likely. If it does, he could die. Again, I would be royally fucked. I don't know how much his treatment cost, but I know it must be a pretty penny. There's only so long I can continue like this.

Due to my dependence and general impotent state, I can't do a goddamn thing for what I believe in right now. I have to fight self-hatred with the argument that if I die, I'll have died useless and unhelpful, when I could potentially have kept living til I got my act together and finally done something helpful before passing.

I have a college degree. Not a "real" degree, in the sense of it mattering, but I have an Associate degree, DTA. No major; I never could figure out what I wanted to do. It would have been a close call between anything in political science, which would have led toward a government job, which would be unacceptable as an anarchist, or perhaps a professorial job, teaching would-be politicians and bureaucrats, hardly educating anyone of revolutionary intent; or something in chemistry, perhaps biochemistry, leading to some kind of colonial agrichem shit, or making expensive medicines nobody would be able to afford for private entities' profits, possibly having research appropriated by Uncle Sam for weapons purposes - I don't know, but none of that was appealing. I graduated community college with Honors, as a member of the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I could have had promise as some or other kind of technocrat or bureaucrat - but I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It seems the less one is exploited, the more they exploit others. I don't know what job I can take that would exploit me enough that I wouldn't hurt others so much, while leaving me alone enough that I wouldn't kill myself, which... which has been a temptation, at times. Not too strong, but it is fucking there. I have promise; at short-term memorization and obedience, at least, like a mongrel dog who can read; but no conviction, no confidence, and a surplus of fear.

There are more woes I can recollect, I can continue this pity party in a book, but enough of that. Suffice it to say, all this time, I should have wanted my own liberation. Colonized people (in an American context, Turtle Island Indigenous and Black) have it worse, LGBT* people have it worse, women have it worse, physically disabled people have it worse, people with greater mental disabilities than my own have it worse, and I can't lead any of their struggles. But I do have the right to demand my own liberation, and I shouldn't convince myself otherwise.

*I don't oppose the use of the other word, except people of my demographic have abused that word so goddamn much, I don't want to type it, myself, let alone say it. It's always tainted when it comes from those who aren't of that community. Please don't think I'm either a radfem or a libfem just because I didn't use that word. I support people identifying with that label in using it.

This post became increasingly personal toward the end. However, I hope my flawed perspective, perhaps unique (read: unrelatable) in some aspects, perhaps explaining, at least in part, some of the fucked-up mental hurdles of white socialist "allies" that we need to get our asses over yesterday, might help - whatever I might have illuminated, and whatever I surely missed. I can understand why someone might want to share and add, share and criticize, or leave this alone with a like, nothing at all, or an unfollow.

Not that I can prevent this from being shared in any way, except by not posting in the first place, but I'm okay with it being shared by other socialists, for whatever it's worth... although I understand the more traction it gets, the more likely I'll get anon hate about being full of myself (deserved, to an extent at least), for being some dumb socialist cuck (not exactly wrong, but rude, and likely from a Nazi, so fuck you), or perhaps from non-Mormon Christians accusing me, someone they'd call a Mormon (which is arguably almost a new ethnicity (not race though) as much as it is a religion) of daring to throw the Christian god and Christianity, in general, under the bus, accusing me of being in league with the devil. So be it.

If you're not a reactionary, nor a liberal, nor somewhere in-between, and you want to share this for some reason or another, you may do so.

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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Hi again, I’m the one that requested about the romantic soulmate and when will it come and yes, please can you tell me more about them? I asked if I’d ever meet them because sometimes it feels like it won’t happen so I’m more like I could wait forever as long as they get here you know? But if you could tell me more, I’d be grateful. Also yes, I know that you can’t give me a specific time but I wonder more like if it’s in the near future or later on in life. Again, thank you💕

This was fun! Hopefully some of this will make sense, even if it’s not straight away lmao if you have any more questions or theres anything else you’re curious about let me know and i’ll see if any of my decks can give us some clues!

So to start I drew 4 attribute cards to try and get a sense of this person’s personality. Each archetype has light and shadow attributes, though it doesn’t necessarily mean all of them will be exhibited. More that they are negative aspects that this person has the potential to fall into (eg: just because the shadow attribute of trickster talks about manipulating others, it doesn’t mean this person is going to be overtly manipulative of you. but they might be good at playing the system to benefit themselves or something like that)

We got:

Trickster - Light attribute: Transcending convention, stuffiness and predictable behaviour / Shadow atrribute: Manipulating others through duplicity

Mentor - Light attribute: Passing on wisdom and refining a student’s character / Shadow attribute - Inability to allow the student to move on to the role of Master. Imparting false instruction

Exorcist - Light attribute: Freeing yourself and others of destructive impulses / Shadow attribute - Fear of facing your own demons

Visionary - Light attributes - Capacity to envision what is not yet conceivable to others. Willingness to proclaim a vision without regard for personal gain. / Shadow attributes - Selling insights to the highest bidder. Compromising your vision to make it more acceptable.

So from these it seems this person will be a little outside the box, maybe they have a particular style of dress which is unusual or a special interest/hobby that is a bit odd. With both mentor and exorcist they may have a background in teaching or social work - even if they are no longer on that path. It might not even be an official degree they have, they might just be particularly aware of the system, maybe they know someone who benefits from AA meetings something like that. It could be as simple as them tutoring school/uni/college students. With the visionary archetype it seems they’d be a bit of a dreamer, probably a creative thinker.

Next thing i did was draw some letters and charms to try and get some more info on what they’re like.

For the letters we got D, E, I, F, R, L, I, O, P - there may be initials in here. with the two Is it might mean this person has double letters in their name. There might also be other words in here to describe them.

I know I’m seeing DILF lmao but also Pride (so maybe they’re lgbt or just proud of who they are/what they have accomplished), Pie (maybe the like to bake?), Leo and fire (so maybe they’re a leo or a fire sign or have a fire dominated natal chart)

have a look what words jump out at you as well and see how you might be able to connect them (i can’t see any names in there but im notoriously bad at anagram things so maybe you can)

As for the charms:

The world on the dice and the eiffel tower both suggest overseas travel, so this person might be well traveled or they might have a specific connection to France.

The shell could represent a connection to the sea or the beach. In dream interpretations shells have a few meanings. They can represent having a hard exterior but being soft on the outside so this person might come across as cold or closed off until you get to know them better. Shells can also be a symbol of wanting protection so it might be that this person has a defensive streak or they are very protective of those they love. Shells are also connected with the goddess Venus and so are seen as signs of sexual pleasure.

words you got here are freedom, sassy and reach(ing) - freedom i think definitely makes sense with the trickster archetype above and maybe the visionary one as well.

You also got the Make Poverty History badge so this person may donate money or time to a charity (or multiple charities). The badge also says Stand Up And Be Counted so it might represent this person being outspoken, especially about things that are important to them.

The hand charm reminds me of the Hamsa symbol, even though theres no eye on the palm. the Hamsa is a symbol of protection or warding off evil. Aside from that, open palmed hands can be a symbol of open communication, so that is definitely a good sign. In dreams palms can also indicate a chance meeting with a stranger who may become a romantic partner so that just ties into what i said in the previous reading about you not having met them yet.

And finally we have 2 different scissor charms. To me this represents sharp - sharp wit, sharp mind, sharply dressed. But scissors can also be a sign of decisiveness, or of a fear of being cut off for something. This person is likely the sort who knows what they want and will go after it. Once they make a decision they stick with it. And once they meet you, they’re not going to want to leave you.

To try and get some more info on how you’ll meet I drew some tarot cards.

7 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, king of pentacles, 7 of wands, the tower, ace of pentacles.

Look at all those motherfucking pentacles. Just like I said in the previous reading, this definitely has something to do with work. With the king of pents there in the middle I’m inclined to say this person may work at the same place as you, maybe in a managerial role or at least someone higher up the chain than you. Or maybe they just have more experience in the role than you do.

The last few cards are the most interesting. The 7 of wands is a card of conflict or struggles though it doesn’t necessarily have to be negative. It can represent standing your ground or defending yourself or others. The tower is a sign of dramatic and unexpected change, often negative. I pulled a clarifying card for it as well, to see if we could get some info on what this tower moment is and i got the ace of pentacles. The ace of pents is about new opportunities, especially related to money or work.

To me this says something is going to happen that will cause a dramatic change to your work. Now, I can see this going either two way. At it’s most negative this is a conflict, maybe with someone you work with, maybe just the work environment itself. Maybe it’s one of those things where every day becomes a struggle and you start to hate your job and you dont want to be there anymore. This leads to the tower moment of you quitting and finding a new job.

OR, at it’s most positive - the conflict moment still happens, but because of how well you handle the situation you’re offered a promotion or a transfer or something like that. It’s still a new opportunity, it still has the stress and sudden change that the tower indicates, but it’s not quite as negative.

Whichever way it goes, it leads to you meeting or coming into closer contact with this person, the king of pentacles, your soulmate.

(As a side note, in the previous reading we drew the queen of pentacles and now we’ve drawn the king so if you wanted proof that they’re The One, that’s it. Also like, the story these cards tell matches so well with the last reading, the work, the new opportunity im like a little stunned by it)

In an effort to lean more about them and more about when you’ll meet I pulled some romance angels. You got:

Forgiving and Learning - as you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments

Very Soon - clearly decide what you want so that it comes to you now

Keep an Open Mind - your soul mate may differ from your usual type and expectations

Trust - This situation is calling for you to have faith

So, in the context of when will you meet, trust is obviously asking you to have faith that the universe will bring this person towards you even if it seems to be taking forever. And also trust that this person is right for you, especially if they’re different from what you might expect as the keep an open mind card suggests. Obviously the most interesting is Very Soon which suggests that you’ll meet them sooner rather than later. I pulled a number tile as i was focusing on that card to try and get an indication of timing and you got a 3. Now, that could be 3 day, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years. It might also be a number relevant to the time when you meet them (maybe 3 weeks AFTER something else or maybe 3pm or even you’ll just see the number 3 around a lot as a warning that they’re coming)

And finally. I have a deck of channeled messages. These are things that your person might be thinking or might be wanting to say to you. Take them with as many grains of salt as you like but I figured it could be fun. The white cards are messages from the person, light blue are messages from the deck/universe.

The one blue card we got is They are waiting for you and really I think that sets the tone of all of these cards.

I just dream and wish for everything, I just want you all the time, I lie awake thinking about our future. This person is ready to meet you, they are sick of dating around, sick of the wrong people, they want something real and long lasting.

Please give me time I’ve never felt this way before. You’ll need to wait a little longer before you meet them but not much longer. It’s next to I think we should slow down in reverse, they want this to happen as soon as possible, they are as sick of waiting as you are.

Definitely is designed to look like The Tower card which is very interesting but with this one there is no question of it having a positive outcome, even if it feels hard in the moment it will be worth it.

And finally, I’m too afraid to talk in reverse. It’s likely this person will approach you, there’s no fear there, no worry about what you’ll say. And once they start talking to you they’re going to keep talking to you.

#card readings #this is a long one oof #but man it was fun #i want to get a better container for my charm collection #but then im gonna start using it more often lmao

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bladesoflightandshadow · 5 years

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In RoD that context could have been lost but that pressure isnt always unique to gender. A black male mc with a single father with intense pressure to succeed and to be perfect could also resonate. A number of the people who wanted a non-genderlocked book aren't white,straight or cis and experience that same pressure. Also in books like VOS it accounted for gender and had specific experiences if you played as a female Mc,they could have done that.

right so i lost my progress typing this halfway through so if i end up sounding pissy that’s why

i understand where you’re coming from. i understand how debilitating that pressure to be successful can be when you’re the child of immigrants, when you’re a person of colour, regardless of your gender. i even get how expectations of masculinity can play a role in making that experience even more difficult in some ways for men. i’m not saying it’s impossible to explore those ideas, and there does need to be more media which addresses that.

however, in the context of choices, and the way we’ve seen them handle social issues like that in the past, i really don’t see there being enough room for adding nuance in the way gender affects how an mc’s story plays out. even in the example you gave, veil of secrets, these gender variations were limited to a few interactions that didn’t really affect the overall storyline. and i honestly think vos did the whole gender variation thing the best compared to other books, but ultimately gender had little bearing on the mc’s actual development as a character.

with rod mc, however, her gender has played a huge role in her growth throughout the book, even if it is never explicitly stated. (i am admittedly not caught up, so i’m basing this off of what i have played and other people’s discussions of the book that i’ve seen.) her father’s over-protectiveness, the way he often refers to her as the ‘perfect daughter’, the fact that her entire narrative is based around the theme of freedom from not just her father, but from the world’s expectations of her as a young woman… like, sure, you might’ve experienced some of these things growing up if you’re a guy, but the level of universality that rod mc’s story is able to reach for other women reading the story, because she is a woman raised with expectations coming from a patriarchal society, could not have been achieved if she had been a guy.

and that kind of pressure is specifically tied to one’s identity as a woman, particularly as a woman of colour. even if you are, say, gay or trans, unless you have at some point experienced the world as what other people view as a woman, you will not have experienced the pressures that i was talking about in my original post. (i’m not trans and could only speak from my own experiences about womanhood, so i apologise if any of this comes off as offensive)

as a daughter, especially as an eldest or only daughter, from the moment you are born you are simply held to much higher standards than men are. i’m not saying rod mc is a perfect representation of all the experiences women, esp woc, have had to go through, but as far as choices mcs go she’s pretty fucking close. the fact is, the way her character is written means she represents a lot of these experiences, particularly wrt familial expectations & relationships, for the women reading her story.

and we don’t get to see that very often, so of fucking course we’d get defensive when we play this story, see ourselves in the main character, get emotional over the way her personal growth is written, and then see people telling us our enjoyment of this story is shallow and stupid. even other women who are criticising us–just because you personally don’t relate to the rod mc’s story doesn’t give you the right to tell us we’re dumb for liking it.

i am NOT saying rod is without its faults, especially wrt how it handles lgbt characters. mona should’ve been a more integral character from the start, and they could’ve easily had another female love interest but they chose not to. this post & its replies explain that really well.

but a lot of the 'hot’ takes i’ve seen about ride or die have been cold as fuck, because they’re unable to discuss it without making massive blanket statements about its readers (only straight ppl enjoy the book, we’re all homophobes for not wanting a male mc, etc.). plus, if you’re not a woman, your criticisms of this book will often sound disingenuous, because a lot of the time you’ll sound like you’re coming from a place of entitlement, not genuine concern. i’ve seen so many posts by people who aren’t women talking about how rod isn’t beneficial for wlw, how the writers don’t care about gay people, as if we don’t have more than 2 fucking braincells to be able to piece that together on our own. of fucking course that shit is going to sound insincere when you’re not even a wlw, and your main concern is obviously that you can’t play the story as a man. of course, when it comes to books like big sky country or the elementalists or perfect match, etc., they either don’t criticise them or only criticise them when it inconveniences them, and even then are able to look at it through a much fairer lens, because they can actually play as a man in those books. (yes!!!! i’m salty!!!!!)

being not white, not straight, and/or not cis doesn’t give you the right to make blanket statements about people who do enjoy the book, or to act like your opinions are objectively more correct than others’ are. on the other hand, even if you are attracted to men, even if you can relate to the mc’s struggles, you are not obligated to like ride or die. in fact, i personally find those posts talking about how 'ride or die is the best book out right now and you’re all just being salty’ annoying. nobody has to be made to feel bad because they don’t like it! but if people talking about how they like it truly does bother you, the block button is right there. so is the blacklist tool. that’s literally just how fandom works. not everyone is going to have the same opinions as you, and that’s fine.

i don’t have a fancy conclusion to tie all of this together so if any of it doesn’t make sense deal with it i guess lmao

#here it is the fucking behemoth of a post that most ppl wont read #hope yall are having a nice night i just got my period so i'm not #playchoices #ride or die #stfu nisa #long post #long fucking post

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gnostic-heretic · 5 years

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And when I say a lot of t*rf posts end up on my dashboard I mean it and it’s always so hard to try to separate between the people who are ultimately well meaning and didn’t know and those who spread this stuff maliciously. That post is right tho if you know what r*dfem transmisogyny and transphobia looks and sounds like it’s harder to fall for these posts... the shitty thing about t*rf shit is that it trickles down, in a progressive scale from their blogs to seemingly “neutral” (but never actually neutral*) blogs that maybe sound a little iffy but never outright call themselves g/ender critical or name trans people, onto complicit popular discourse blogs and then on people’s dashboards. *Hell one time I saw a blog that seemed like an innocent supergirl femslash blog just to find she reblogged constantly from t*rfs posts that were just on the borderline and never outright mentioned trans people, only buzzwords and this is what I mean by “neutral” blogs that are actually complicit. This blog has a lot of followers. How many of them reblog these posts uncritically? And I wish there were more lists of said buzzwords and how to recognise them but

The reality is that we trans people especially trans women have to be constantly on the watch for shit like this. We know the arguments and we know why they’re bullshit. Meanwhile cis people don’t really know the specifics of their ideology and seem to fall for it over and over. And the worst thing about it is that t*rfs use this as confirmation bias that their ideas are actually good and everyone would agree with them if they just present it without the slurs and mocking. But the slurs demeaning and mocking are a fundamental part of it, and of trans exclusion in general. Fear mongering and dehumanising trans people are the mean to wiping us out of existence.

I won’t explain why those ideas are wrong because I’m starting from the assumption that my followers are not transphobic and don’t find statements like “trans women are women” controversial, but buzzwords include (warning for blunt discussions of transphobia):

- expressing “concern” about men invading women’s spaces or the “purity” of said spaces (they don’t use the word purity but as a concept in general). This concern is never explained, only stated, because once you look into it you find that it’s actually about trans women. As a side note, the whole “invasion” thing is a popular one and it is reminiscent of white s*premacist bullshit ... this idea that since gay trans people are “actually straight” we will eventually outnumber “the real” gay people by calling ourselves gay and invading their spaces. the more you know ... if this doesn’t ring a bell you need to look into actual n*zi theories like “the gre//at re\\placement” and then we can talk again. The jump from t*rf to alt-ri/ght trad mom is shorter and swifter than either of those groups would have you believe

- “males can’t be lesbians” a pretty non controversial statement if it wasn’t that male is code for trans women. “Men who fetishise lesbians” is also a tricky one because while this is indeed a real issue, they’re referring to “auto/g/ynephilia” aka the idea that the reason lesbian and bi trans women transition at all is just because they fetishise the idea of themselves as a woman/lesbian (contrapoints has a good in depth video about this that explains better than I ever could) — on the same note talk about how “male sexuality” is something inherently corrupt, oppressing, and violent, and cannot be healthy ever, without any other context given is also usually code for “trans women are perverts and sexual predators” . The word “p//ornsick” also comes up often so watch out for it.

- the pervasive idea that a group of “straight people fetishising being gay/a lesbian” is out there and threatening REAL gay/lesbian spaces starts from here. I’ve mentioned a/utogy/nephilia but “fujoshi” is usually code for gay trans men, with a similar idea behind it. We’re not really gay men, just straight women who fetishise the idea of ourselves as a gay man... at least that’s the idea behind it.

- which brings us to the point. “straight people invading gay spaces” is usually if not always code for gay trans people.

- kinda related to the above point, honestly you’re all fools if you think the whole ace discourse bullshit wasn’t just eventually a path to trans and bisexual exclusion. Trans and bi people have been saying this for years but no one wants to listen. That’s not to say that exclusionists are t*rfs but those ideas were popularised by them... that’s just to say learn where your ideology comes from before you endorse it and embrace it

- similarly “queer is a slur” started there so you might want to reconsider why you’ve been convinced to tag your posts “q slur” by people who use other homophobic slurs pretty liberally lol . “Queer means straight people invade our spaces!” + any talk about gnc straight men/women and how it doesn’t make them queer or lgbt, Yeah, this was about never about “gnc” it was trans people all along. The implication is that trans people don’t exist, so we can be nothing but gnc “males/females”. Congrats! You’re a fool! Now don’t make me read this bullshit ever again.

- stuff that makes fun of said “gnc people” “queers” , man buns, undercuts, brightly coloured hair, specific names (aiden comes to my mind) careful about posts that mock the concept of “queering heterosexuality” they’re usually about gay couples with one trans and one cis person, or where both people are trans but with different asab. (ie a gay trans man dating a pan cis man, a trans woman and an afab nb person dating will get mocked as “straight people” who are just pretending to be anything but) sometimes it’s also about bi people jsyk but...

- “forcing young lesbians to not identify as lesbians”/“stop telling young lesbians they should be/are men” is also a big thing. implies that trans people are out there recruiting teenagers who would otherwise be cis lesbians (or more rarely cis gay men) and forcing them into identifying as trans. “young lesbians” also doesn’t always mean young lesbians it’s usually meant to misgender trans men who already identify as men (but in this theoretical framework trans as a concept is nonexistent, a perversion, a delusion, so what could we be but porn/sick straight people or delusional, misguided cis gays who fall victim of a conspiracy)

- entire blogs dedicated to d/etransition (or “reidentifi/cation” as they call it now) experiences that don’t bother to acknowledge that their experience is not universal and au contraire seem to want to push detransition as the one way to happiness especially for afab people. Yes I do think that people who detransition should be able to talk about it, but if the conclusions you draw are “this didn’t work for me so it’s toxic and bad for everyone”, and openly advocate against trans people’s existence, you’re full of shit. Only a small percentage of trans people detransition: over 90% of us are satisfied with the results. It’s all just concern trolling.

- posts about how dysphoria is either a “delusion” or a “normal female experience”, posts that sound a lot like body positivity but they’re actually pushing for detransition (ie you should accept your body as is, surgery is mutilation of your already perfect body etc etc) this is also tricky but it’s all in the language. Phrases like “young women who undergo surgery to fix their already good bodies” could refer to a variety of things but it’s all in the context. Words like “reconnect” “reidentification” are usually presented as alternative. Dysphoria is usually not named and referred to as a delusion or social pressure and something that should never be considered real, ie if you see something like “young women undergo surgery to chase a delusion” it probably comes from a t*rf. be wary of any surgery talk in general is my point because it’s usually presenting gcs as on the same level of lip fillers and Botox (ignoring that trans people face infinite struggles to access surgery and social ostracism for pursuing medical transition so it’s not the same AT ALL)

- talk about stuff like “hrt is dangerous actually” and “binding is horrible actually”? Yeah. You can guess where it comes from. It’s important to acknowledge the risks of hrt/binding but sensationalism about how it’s dangerous and could kill you and so on... it’s just overblown concern trolling to convince people that medical transition is mutilation and a conspiracy to kill the above mentioned “young lesbians”

- sentiments akin to “t*rf is a slur used against lesbians” even if not presented this way are also a red flag, sorry. If you don’t want to be called a t*rf, maybe don’t speak and act like one.

- the sad news is in the end there’s no way to discern whether someone is a t*rf or not because a lot of the time these same talking points come from blogs that have little “t*rfs don’t interact tee hee!” Banners on their description. A lot of r/adfem blogs out there are side blogs of people you wouldn’t usually suspect. Maybe they are vocal against trans exclusion, and in support of trans people, and then switch accounts to hurl about how horrible it is that they feel forced to welcome us “sexual pervert straight people” into their spaces. That’s why imo it’s more important to recognise the ideology than it is to look for clues. Again, if it sounds like one, it’s probably one :’)

#sorry i had tk get it out there #discourse /////

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drewshiroll · 5 years

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A queer enjoying captain marvel is like a hog enjoying fetid mud; it's perfect for you and nobody else wants it

There are so many things wrong with what you said.

Let’s start with the Captain Marvel hate

First of all, why? What did I do to invoke lasback from your frail ego?

Secondly, “nobody else wants it?”

No sir (I’m hypothesizing using context clues here) the only people I’ve seen who “don’t want it” are straight white “we own nerd culture and all comics” fuck boys who don’t like that Captain Marvel doesn’t cater to the Male Fantasy™️.

Friendly reminder Captain Marvel beat our Black Panther for largest premier. That’s kind of a huge deal that says a LOT of people wanted it.

No it’s not the greatest marvel movie out there. It was damn good, but honestly it did what it had to do. It was a fun intro to a character. (And honestly I’d put it on par with any of the other introductory movies for of the marvel stand alones). But it was absolutely needed.

It said a lot about the fights women have to face in every day life and their work force. But people like you fail to see those struggles because it doesn’t pertain to you, so they simply just don’t exist to anyone. Right?

So just because it’s not what -you- or your “demographic” want, you are not the voice of everyone who isn’t queer.

Which brings us to the other thing you said.

One. Everything you say tells me you’re not queer, so you do not get to label a queer person as “a queer”. Queer people have reclaimed that word because it comes with an extremely derogatory and offensive history. It’s 2019 bro, and while, a group of peiple may be able to say something about themselves there are certain things that you just can’t say about people.

AND THEN you compare those people to pigs in shit mud. Like talk about the cherry on top. I don’t think I even need to go into why that was bad.

So case and point, let people fucking enjoy things. And don’t come at peiple based on the fact they’re LGBT.

It’s 2019. Be better. Make better choices

And I’m perfectly aware nothing I said is going to change you in any way. Once someone like you makes up their mind there’s no talking to them. Something I’ve learned from being queer. However, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let messed up stuff like this go overlooked and not address it when you come into my inbox.

#lgbt #carol danvers #bigotry #captain marvel #anonymous #this is why i dont look at ny inbox

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sammierogers · 7 years

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Failsafe

I failed this last weekend.

I reached a breaking point and I failed.

Last week, an event was held here in the Detroit area. It was called Love is Love, and was a rally in support of the LGBT community. I was asked to speak and so I did. Not really having a political agenda, I chose to speak about love and what that word means to me, at least in the context of social change. I spoke about love as being a verb more than a feeling. I spoke about the difficulty of really acting with love toward another person. And I spoke about how loving another person is hard enough when it is a person toward whom we feel love, but even harder when it is with a person for whom we do not feel love, and, even more so, when it is toward someone we do not even like. I made a good case I think.

But then, last night, I was, myself, tested.

And I failed.

Some time ago, when I was still living a large percentage of my life in pretense of being male, and only able to present ,as myself, occasionally, I made friends with a cross-dresser. I had dinner at her home several times, both with and without her wife being present. Her political views were at odds with mine constantly. As an extremely part time girl who spent 95% of her time in male mode as a high powered executive with GM, she enjoyed great safety within her closet, and copious male privilege insulating her from many of the difficulties of being trans. But, we both managed to extend a civility and respect in discourse which made the evenings nonetheless very pleasant. Adding to that was the fact that not only was discourse engaging but her cooking was as well.

Prior to last night, the last time she and I spoke was shortly after the 2016 election that brought Donald Trump and Mike Pence into the White House. By this time I was fully committed to living my life 24/7 as myself, authentically, and with all the emotional and tangible baggage that accompanies confronting the world every day as a trans-woman, That election was, for myself and many others like me who all “walk the walk and talk the talk”, jarring to say the least. Seeing an administration composed of a narcissistic, amoral child president and an extremely homophobic vice president, with the potential for such an administration to do untold damage to our community and facilitate setting back the social progress of the last forty years, many of us were terrified. Many of us have watched in horror as this sad excuse for a man has started the process of reneging on promises to transgender individuals in the military while stripping transgender teens of needed protections in schools. Many of the fears we felt last November are slowly materializing and many more are still unfolding

But last November, there was, amidst this fear, a palpable anger that our country was choosing regression, hatred and prejudice over enlightenment and progress. During that time I last spoke with my wealthy, white, cross-dressing executive “friend”. I fear my side of the conversation projected a less respectful approach than normal. My rhetoric then was far less willing to bend and flex and give the benefit of the doubt to opposing views. Forgive me....we were all afraid and angry. Still are, but that's not the point. During that exchange, my friend not twice, but three times misgendered me. It was not only unpleasant, it also betrayed something about her.

Many people are incapable of viewing the world except through the lens of their own experience. So, for example, you find gay men who are only capable of viewing transgender women as “confused” gay men. In the case of my friend, her own status as a male identifying person who occasionally likes to cross-dress, colors her view of all TG and leads her to inwardly perceive other TG as being like her....a guy who dresses sometimes. And therefore, though she pays lip service to correct pronouns, inwardly she still thinks that when addressing another TG she is really talking to another “guy”. As, someone who prides herself on being politically correct in regard to the LGBT community, she uses correct pronouns usually, but in a heated discussion the truth of her feelings surfaced. And as someone who lives 95% of her life with the various privileges associated with being white, wealthy, male and powerful, she displays a certain arrogant condescension toward the community, while also proudly bragging about her support for charitable functions to benefit that community.

Last night, after a long silent absence following our previous encounter, my friend turned up at my favorite trans friendly neighborhood bar. It is “Cheers” for many of us, and a safe a friendly extension of home.

I was not expecting to see her.

I was caught off guard.

Still, I tried.

I tried to be even tempered. I tried to be respectful. I tried to listen and hear her side of things. But she was having none of it. She was assertive, unwavering, unwilling to even pretend toward respect for views in opposition to hers. But from the first it was as though she was spoiling for a confrontation.

I tried... I really tried.

But, when, after half an hour of working hard to meet her halfway and constantly being pounded verbally.....when after all that...when she again misgendered me....I snapped.

This was not some random store clerk, where such a mistake may be expected. This was not amid a crowd of rednecks on some job site where transphobic/homophobics comments might well be the norm. This was at my “Cheers”. This was in my own personal safe spot. This was a place barely one step removed from my own home. This was the last place I would have any reason to expect such disrespect..

It caught me like a sucker punch and drove the air out of my lungs.

I yelled something at her and walked away in tears. I hit a limit. I could no longer find the strength to meet that kind of obstinate, self righteous arrogance ….with love.

And so, I failed.

I failed in the very test of love I had spoken of that same afternoon.

I failed.

And for that … I am ashamed.

People like my friend will not change or become enlightened through confrontation. They will only change through loving and patient education and guidance.... if they can change at all.

And after more than two years invested in trying to affect that very change through exactly that same patience, and education and love.... in the end.... I failed.

My stamina and persuation was not strong enough to unravel a lifetime of ingrained wealthy, white, male privilege and the arrogance it engenders.

I failed.

But I will try again.

Not with this same person.

At least, not without some major effort from her.

But I will try again

I will try to learn from this.

I will try to grow even more patient.

I will try to reach deeper inside for greater strength and more love.

I will try.

I have to.

The generations following us depend upon what we do now.

If we cannot find the time and patience for those who are themselves trans, how will we ever change those who are seriously and disturbingly transphobic?

If we cannot find the high road even within our own community, then how will we do so among the great sea of willfully ignorant,unwashed haters who wish us gone forever?

This struggle is far from over.

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millenniumfae · 7 years

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Asexual Sex-Ed: The Dom

When it comes to aces and sex, there’s these huge discussions going left and right. Every ace has their own feelings about sex, and having sex with other people in any context. I’ve talked to many aces (and partners of aces), and I’ve often said that being in a ‘dom’ role can really help reduce sex repulsion and anxiety while also offering sexual stimulation.

Asexual sex-ed is virtually non-existent, which means that aces are often left with limited information, and therefore limited options. But options exist. BDSM with aces may seem like a surprising match, but when you think about it, it really isn’t.

Aces being active in BDSM isn’t without precedent. Kink is especially alive and kicking in the lgbt+ community as a whole, and BDSM in particular is known for being therapeutic. It’s common for those who’re living with trauma to pursue BDSM as a way to cope. And for aces who are sex-repulsed, and/or struggling with their sexuality and libido, BDSM can be an excellent choice.

So I’ve written a BDSM post about asexuality and doms, which is almost completely based off of my own experience of being a dom. I encourage everyone to pursue this information, regardless of their own sexuality or feelings on sex. This is information that needs to be more readily available to the community.

You can also check out my other asexual sex-eds - on masturbating, consent, sexual health, and mental self care. I’m no licensed doctor - I’m writing based solely on my own experience. My words are just one voice in what hopefully will soon be a menagerie of ace sex ed.

(Be warned, pictures to explicit imagery will be linked. This text post contains no explicit imagery.)

What Is A Dom?

Short answer; a ‘dom’ is the other half of a dominant-subservient sex powerplay. It’s a heavily narrative role that uses acting to make a fake scenario of someone being under the ‘control’ of the other.

A BDSM coupling can manifest in several different ways, depending on the party. For some, it’s just their normal sex routine, except with a few ‘yes, mistress’’s thrown in. For others, it’s being encased in a latex bodybag, and left to lie still for several hours while your dom does their laundry and buys their groceries.

That diversity exists amongst aces, too. As you meditate and practice your sexuality, you’ll learn what works for you, and what doesn’t. For allosexuals, their preference for BSDM is heavily dependent on what gets them off. For us, it’s more about what makes us feel safest.

Setting Up For The Dom Role

Every sub/dom session starts with words. A lot of them. If you want to play the dom role in a sexual situation, you can’t just bring it up in a casual conversation, and then leave it at that. Even if you’ve done it before. Even if they’ve done it before. Even if you’ve known each other for years. Even if you feel like they’ve ‘got’ it. A BDSM session requires a lot of planning and consent beforehand.

A good, solid script for a sub/dom session goes something like this;

Asking whether your partner interested, or willing, to partake in a submission role.

Exchanging possibilities and scenarios that you’re both interested in.

Exchanging limitations and no-nos.

Exchanging aftercare methods (more on aftercare below).

Laying down a plan, or a schedule, for the session. AKA, you begin with (this), then continue to (this), and end with (this). The more thorough the plan, the better and safer (and smoother!) the session will be.

As a sex-repulsed ace, I only take booty calls from dating sites or from acquaintance referrals. And since I insist on only allowing BDSM sex, I have gone through multiple versions of these scripts throughout my dating experience. And no one has ever reacted as if I was being too finicky, or particular, with this consent process.

Even with some random Okcupid date, I will insist on a Skype call or a facetime, so the sub will see my face outside the domspace (more on domspaces and subspaces down below) as we lay down the rules.

For example; I got a message from someone that literally only said; “will u beat me up sometime pls thx sorry”. This message was from someone who was a) my age, b) also trans, and c) was a 97% match. So of course, I responded with a solid; “are u looking for a dom? (being serious)”.

And as the conversation continued, my date went on to describe in several paragraphs what they wanted.

someone who can stuff me into a hole intellectually {...} and is good with manipulating power dynamics. not necessarily trying to fuck, mostly looking for the psych bit and some nonsexual physical stuff / seems like there'd be a lot to work with given your lack of interest in sex generally if you decided intercourse was appropriate. what's really important for me (turns out, maybe this is where i've self sabotaged before) is not having to tell the person how specifically to force my submission. very much would prefer dom to be able to figure that bit out given whatever volunteered biographical-type information was exchanged beforehand.

In the BDSM community, you’re much more likely to find people who will gladly write pages upon pages of what they want, in explicit (and often poetic) detail. Which can be very annoying if you attract the attention of white cis men in their 40′s who want to be the next Christian Grey.

But that’s good news for you lovelies. As an ace dom, you’ll have very little trouble with bluntly listing your limits and desires, or finding partners willing to partake. I’ve never met a willing sub that was put off, or unaccepting of my asexuality.

Tools, Toys, And Tricks - For The Asexual

You’ve probably seen the wooden paddles and braided ropes and satin blindfolds. Many of them have been carefully designed to minimize injury while also maximizing physical sensation. Spanking with a paddle, for example, will often start with a soft, small model before continuing into using a hard wooden one. This is to make sure there’s adequate bloodflow to the buttcheeks to increase sensitivity, while also reducing the pain.

But to an ace perspective, those leather handcuffs aren’t just to tie up your partner and excite them, it’s also a good way to constrain their hands so you don’t have to deal with their touch on your body. A blindfold will give you privacy. Mouth gags will prevent any intrusive dialogue that might make you uncomfortable.

As with all things involved in the bedroom, you first need to make sure that the tools are body safe. There’s no government regulation on sex toy materials, which means you could potentially end up with bacteria-laden silicon, or toxin-infected plastics. Buy from trusted brands, or reputable suppliers.

Especially useful bondage tools include restraints that go under the bed, flexible velcro cloth handcuffs, and ropes made out of soft, natural cotton (instead of itchier polyester).

Another BDSM tool that is particularly helpful for the ace are chasity toys. The chasity BDSM subculture is essentially orgasm denial with powerplay. And to an ace, it’s a good way to limit the use of sexual organs. Chasity toys are usually geared towards penises, in the form of cages that prevent erections. Vagina equivalent are usually belts that block the entire pelvis.

Like with all sex, toys and tools aren’t limited to one niche. Instead of buying brand-name fluffy handcuffs, you can very well make do with a random piece of fabric tied loosely around the wrists. In my experience, using bondage tools are a reliable way of reducing sexual contact while also pleasing your sub partner.

Your Relationship With The Sub - What Is ‘Power?’

At its core, a BDSM session is mostly for the sub’s benefit. While there’s real elements of control, ultimately a sub/dom coupling is done to please the sub primarily, rather than the dom. That’s why people hire dominatrixes - some white-collar lawyer may not even be touched throughout the entire session, but they’re really into being whipped and verbally degraded during their lunch break. Meanwhile, the dominatrix is thinking about which curtains they should use for the living room.

The same goes for ace BDSM. Regardless of your reason for partaking in a scene, the sub is your center of attention. This means you can’t, like, just go through a BDSM session and come out feeling like you mastered your repulsion once and for all. And no amount of amazing sex will ‘cure’ you of asexuality.

For aces, the appeal of being a dom is a way to partake in sexual activity while minimizing discomfort. Even if you aren’t sex repulsed, aces often struggle with our ability to consent to sex. Being a dom is a way to have power over the situation.

But as said, the sub/dom relationship doesn’t involve complete power. The idea of a dominant sexual partner is a facade. That’s why BDSM is enjoyable - the sub’s wrists may actually be tied up and cemented to the bedpost under lock and key, but a dom is completely under the will of a sub’s consent. If that sub decides to release their hands from those shackles, you have no power to overrule that.

Being a dom isn’t about envisioning your repulsion as tied up and subdued, and going through this therapeutic night of whipping your problems into shape. Most of the time, being an asexual dom just means that you have a good excuse for leaving all your clothes on, and not allowing yourself to be sexually stimulated.

We all have our reasons for wanting to have sex. Perhaps, as a sex-repulsed ace, you actually do enjoy sex but experience anxiety afterwards. Or perhaps you’re struggling with hypersexuality. Regardless the reason, you can’t expect BDSM to be a fix-all anymore than you can expect any possible method of therapy or socialization to be a wondercure.

Sub/Dom ‘Space’ - For The Ace

Entering a ‘subspace’ is basically shorthand for ‘entering a heightened state of emotions due to getting really into the scene’. When you Google ‘subspace’, you’ll get a diverse collection of descriptions of what it means to enter subspace. Everyone’s subspace is different - for some people, subspace is when your body is over-stimulated, leaving you cloudy-headed and weak. For others, subspace is a very psychological sensation that’s akin to dissociation, or a hypnotic trance.

On the other end, there’s ‘domspace’. Like subspace, it’s an altered state of mind where you experience yourself differently. Some describe their domspace as like an emotional high, or heightened emotions. Some describe it as a spiritual experience that channels a reservoir of power.

For those familiar with BDSM practices, subspace and domspace are words to describe what might happen during a scene. Some people trigger their space with practice and with enthusiasm, some never experience a state that they’d describe as either.

For the ace dom, experiencing domspace is a real possibility. But it’s more dangerous for us; a lot of the time, having sex as an ace means consenting to a language that you don’t share with your partner, and therefore the laws of consent are bent. In that scenario, entering an altered state of mind isn’t an ideal state to be in.

An ace’s domspace wouldn’t be something to retreat towards, it’s something to closely reign and keep in check to make sure you reduce any confusion. You don’t want to lose your sense of self while in a dangerous situation.

I’ve personally never experienced anything like a ‘domspace’, but the idea alone has made me think long and hard about my asexuality and its relationship to being a dom. It’s something you should think about to, if you chose to pursue it.

Aftercare And Self-Care

‘Aftercare’ is big in the BDSM community. And in the sex world in general. Aftercare is the term to describe ‘caring’ for your partner after a sex scene is over and done with, to ensure good mental health and physical wellbeing. Sometimes, that just means snuggling and soft words of comfort. For BDSM, that could mean bandages, ice packs, and so on.

Aftercare is essential in a sub/dom scenario, and its common for the aftercare to last longer than the session. Without aftercare, all parties risk huge health risks, not limited to physical injuries, mental trauma, and emotional stress. You can’t go overboard with aftercare.

For a basic rundown of aftercare;

The first thing people usually need is water. Often, people will drink water throughout the session, but sometimes people get so into it, they don’t realize that their throat is actually parched until it ends.

Give yourselves time to retreat from sub/dom space, and back into your social selves. You drop the tone of voice you’ve been using, you relax your acting postures, you quiet down from shouting so much, you remove all restraints and tools, and so on. Conversation shifts back to normal, and you get a rest from any physical exertion.

Check yourselves and each other for injuries. You may have been aware of some bruises or rashes being formed during the session, and here’s the chance to take a good, closer look. Small things like cuts and abrasions can get nasty infections, bruises and chapped lips can be irritable and painful. Any pelvic pains should be noted and examined when you have the chance. It’s better to give medical attention to chafed nipples or stubbed toes now rather than later.

Keep up conversation. When you ask, ‘how are you feeling?’ The answer might change by the minute. Keep an eye on everyone’s feelings, including your own. Rising stress can be leveled by removing yourself from the space and otherwise preoccupying yourself. Tensions between partners best be addressed before things grow out of control.

Take part in other enjoyable, stress-free activities. For some, it’s taking a bath together. Or cooking a meal. Or getting some drinks and watching funny cat videos in bed. Having a happy aftercare will do wonders to reduce any discomfort and anxiety.

Aftercare extends beyond the bedroom. It’s common to drive your sub home, to ensure that they won’t get into any accidents due to a distracting subspace. And someone still woozy from BDSM might forget their jewelry, or their bag. It’d do no harm to dote on each other, so to speak.

The Aftermath: Recovery And Healing

Unfortunately, good aftercare can’t ‘solve’ everything. No amount of cuddling can solve a bad BDSM session. And for those who are sex-repulsed, the situation is even more aggravated. Asexual people are very susceptible to sex-borne trauma, which means that our self-care goes beyond most.

Any anxiety from the sex probably won’t go away the next morning. And it might lie dormant until your next date, in which you’re hit underhand with a reminder of why you actually don’t like sex. And it’s normal to have enjoyed the sex, but dread it at the same time.

It can be very confusing to feel lost and hurt from a situation that wasn’t harmful at all. But that’s part of sex-repulsion, and part of asexuality in general. Being a dom means minimizing any triggers for this kind of anxiety, but it probably won’t avoid all of it.

As with any trauma aftercare, it’s important to maintain a sense of pride regardless of any intrusive thoughts. You’re not weak or broken for feeling the way you do. You’re a brave and brilliant individual, who faces the things you face. It’s not about eliminating or ‘curing’ this part of yourself, it’s about coming to terms with them.

A lot of the time, I don’t contact any dates ever again. It’d be too difficult to repeat the events. And that’s ok, that’s one of the ways I take care of myself and make sure I minimize trauma. And it definitely helps to document your feelings as time goes on, and also to share your feelings with a trusted friend. Going at it alone is one thing, with support it’s much easier.

I almost never go on dates knowing that I have plans the day after. It’s important that I have several hours to meditate and calm myself down after a dom session, away from my partners. I enter asexual spaces and remind myself that I am valid and strong.

Remember; the power of being a dom might be fictional, but your power as an ace is forever.

#asexual sex ed #sex education #asexuality #asexual #actuallyasexual

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cerullos · 7 years

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You don't have to answer. Reading the responses to that reblog about ace struggles made me really sad. The way you talk about the ace thing in general makes me sad. And I really like you, actually. I know some in the ace community are homophobic fucks. And a lot of ppl in the gay community are transphobic. And a lot of trans people are biphobic. And a lot of bi people are sexist. Ad infinitum. This doesn't have to be the oppression olympics. Intersectionality is the only way out of this mess.

And it’s true. Ace people have not faced systemic oppression. It’s hard to systemically oppress someone when you systemically refuse to acknowledge their existence. Is that as bad as being electrocuted? No. But is that the point here? Why say that? Why amplify that kind of divisive message? We just want to belong somewhere. You can believe this or not, but we’re dying here. The LGBT community has been the only safe place I’ve known my entire life. To figure out years later that I was labeling..

myself wrong? It was the most terrifying feeling I’ve ever experienced. It still is. It’s like we don’t exist. One person was shitting on people who say they’re ‘gay ace’. Why? Can’t I still fall in love with women, despite not experiencing sexual attraction? Don’t you think I would rather enjoy sex with my partner? Being able to give her what she needs? Not being left again and again? Loneliness is a very real pain. And gay ace people exist. I exist. And let me tell you, we’re lonely as fuck.

Straight people see us simply as gay, and treat us that way. So we’re getting electrocuted too. Sexual, gay people tell us we’re ‘cis/het’ liars trying to steal their community. So we have no safe space. We can’t find partners. Our friends, family, and fellow LGBT ppl don’t understand us or even believe in our existence. We are constantly questioning out own existence. I don’t mean to flood you. I realize that’s what I’m doing. But I’ve seen this kind of post coming from your direction a few…

times now. And I feel like maybe this will make you think a bit about what it might feel like to not ever experience the thing EVERYBODY is talking about. Building their lives around. To feel like your broken. Like you’re gonna die alone. Being constantly told you’re not real, your feelings aren’t valid, your struggle is silly. You’ve got a lot of followers. And being ace has made me full on suicidal in the past. So just. Think about it. Gay ace is a real thing. Can you see how you might have…

privilege over a person like that? everyone in my life sees me as gay. I fall in love with women. and yet here we are. can’t you see how I might want to be in your shoes? At least you’re real. At least you have a community. At least you have *some* representation that rings true to your experience. At least you could get a girlfriend that loves you and build a life without either getting dumped for not putting out or subjecting yourself to sex when your body doesn’t want it.

Anyways. I’m not writing this because I want you to answer anything. I’m just hoping you’ll read it and think about it a bit, maybe. If you have, thank you. I really like you Christine. Not trying to be a bitch. But I doubt I’m the only one whose feelings get hurt when you amplify the ‘ace people are cis/hets trying to crash the LGBT community’ noise. - With love in my heart, from a long time follower.

okay, this is long but i’m going to try to keep my answers as succinct as possible. i don’t know if this was your intention, but elements of this message feel vaguely guilt-tripping, despite the fact that none of what you’ve mentioned here presents an argument i haven’t already seen and strongly disagreed with.

“ I know some in the ace community are homophobic fucks. a lot of ppl in the gay community are transphobic. And a lot of trans people are biphobic. And a lot of bi people are sexist […] This doesn’t have to be the oppression olympics. ”

two things: one, you’re referring to lateral aggression in every instance but the first. what i mean by lateral aggression is that it occurs between two people–within the same community–who experience oppression along different axes (e.g. a straight trans person and a cis gay person). in contrast, a cis straight ace man who engages in homophobia and/or transphobia is not “laterally aggressing” his victim, he’s oppressing them. the reason LGBT people have become so vocal against inclusion of cis straight aces is because their oppressors are now gaining entrance to their exclusive spaces, and speaking over them. and whereas a lesbian can voice her discomfort with this on tumblr, she’s forced to stay silent at her local GSA for her own safety.

two, this isn’t an issue of a “handful” of violently homophobic people in the ace community. the founder of aven–david jay–was a homophobic white cishet man, and the platform on which he built his activism was homophobic. moreover, oppression against (straight, cis) ace people is not enforceable, because who is and isn’t ace depends entirely on the decision to identify as such! there are (as the ace community has been told many, many times) plenty of LGBT people (if not most) who have a complicated relationship with sex and sexual attraction due to abuse/assault, compulsive heterosexuality, dysmorphia, etc. none of these people can be considered “allosexual,” even if they (for perfectly valid reasons) decline to share this information publicly! these people deal with many of the same issues you’ve mentioned here (e.g. choosing between getting dumped or engaging in sexual acts when they would rather not), although they would likely attribute this to homophobia, misogyny and rape culture, not aphobia.

also: the “oppression olympics” is nonsensical and offensive and i wish y’all would stop passing that term around. yes, the LGBT community’s history is absolutely rooted in oppression of same-gender attracted and trans individuals! and yes, the community exists to actively oppose legislation that exists to oppress them, and to provide resources for those affected. the community was not founded in order to provide comfort to people who feel outcast from society for [x] reason. when you make this claim (or when you sarcastically liken the community to an exclusive “club” one gains entrance to by virtue of being oppressed) you miss the point entirely. it’s watering down the mission statement and end goal of this community, plain and simple.

“And it’s true. Ace people have not faced systemic oppression. It’s hard to systemically oppress someone when you systemically refuse to acknowledge their existence.”

i find this argument (which is repeated often) to be ridiculous when the LGBT community has years of coherent history, and AVEN (and the popularization of identifying as asexual in the first place) has only gained prominence within the last decade or so. on top of that, as any oppressed individual will tell you, (and, again, something that has been repeated very often and rarely acknowledged) hypervisibility is dangerous to the oppressed! black and latinx trans women and gay men are the most endangered members of the LGBT community because it is impossible for them to “hide” themselves.

this alone should make it clear to you that what the LGBT community want and what the ace community want are two very different things–so what exactly would their shared goal in activism be? what purpose would expanding the community to include straight cis aces serve other than comforting individuals who resent being excluded? LGBT people may share the ace community’s desire for representation in media, but visibility–within the context of their everyday lives–is exactly what’s getting them killed. the pulse shooting is obviously the most recent example of this, but it’s one of many.

“One person was shitting on people who say they’re ‘gay ace’. Why? Can’t I still fall in love with women, despite not experiencing sexual attraction? Don’t you think I would rather enjoy sex with my partner? Being able to give her what she needs? Not being left again and again? Loneliness is a very real pain. And gay ace people exist. I exist. And let me tell you, we’re lonely as fuck.”

you’re introducing a very different argument here, and one i obviously don’t agree with. if you’re a gay ace, you belong in the LGBT community. i’m sorry you’ve been told otherwise. but if this entire passage (and the several paragraphs following it) are meant to convince me of this, i don’t know what to tell you? i’ve said before that–based on my history and relationship with sex and sexual attraction–i could easily identify as an ace lesbian. i don’t, for some of the reasons listed above, and personal reasons of my own–and i don’t benefit from failing to identify as ace in any material way.

“And I feel like maybe this will make you think a bit about what it might feel like to not ever experience the thing EVERYBODY is talking about. Building their lives around. To feel like your broken. Like you’re gonna die alone. Being constantly told you’re not real, your feelings aren’t valid, your struggle is silly.”

i’m genuinely sorry you’re feeling this way, but again, if you think this is an experience LGBT people (ace or otherwise) don’t share, then i’m not the one turning a blind eye here.

“At least you’re real. At least you have a community. At least you have *some* representation that rings true to your experience. At least you could get a girlfriend that loves you and build a life without either getting dumped for not putting out or subjecting yourself to sex when your body doesn’t want it.”

you need to consider that you are making assumptions about what i want from a relationship based on the fact that i don’t publicly identify as ace. this is another thing we’ve been repeating constantly: you cannot do that, and therein lies one of the issues with asexuality as a framework for oppression. also, even on the off chance that i had a perfectly healthy relationship with and desire for sex (which–as i’ve said–very few people in the LGBT community do) none of us can just “get a girlfriend.” to suggest it’s more difficult for ace people is ridiculous when LGBT people have had to resort to dating apps and LGBT-exclusive spaces in order to find people to date in the first place. and before you say that similar spaces don’t exist for aces: they need to be built, just like ours were. the onus is on adult aces, not “allo” LGBT people.

and, again, what an ace person would potentially want from an ace-exclusive space is not what an LGBT person (provably, historically) would want from an LGBT-exclusive space. ace condemnation of sex and sexuality is valid at the individual level, but it can be suffocating (and, yes–oppressive) to LGBT people who have fought long and hard to take pride in their sexuality. telling LGBT people that their love and “PDA” is “dirty” and “impure” is nothing new or progressive, it’s textbook homophobia, and those attitudes are damaging to us.

“Anyways. I’m not writing this because I want you to answer anything. I’m just hoping you’ll read it and think about it a bit, maybe. If you have, thank you. I really like you Christine. Not trying to be a bitch. But I doubt I’m the only one whose feelings get hurt when you amplify the ‘ace people are cis/hets trying to crash the LGBT community’ noise. - With love in my heart, from a long time follower.”

look…i hate to tell you this because i don’t think you mean any harm, and i’m not trying to attack you–but, as i think i said earlier, none of the arguments you’ve presented here are new to me. these are arguments that have been addressed and derailed by LGBT people (many of them ace themselves) multiple times, to no end. what you’ve mentioned here highlights an important point, and that’s “hurt feelings.” those are the stakes for straight cis aces–those are not the stakes for LGBT people (and i include LGBT aces in this statement). but i haven’t “learned” anything from these messages–i’ve never plugged my ears and ignored the arguments of straight cis aces, i’ve listened to them very carefully. and they’ve informed my opinion on this matter–an opinion that hasn’t changed and will not change. if that’s upsetting to you, you can unfollow–i won’t hold it against you!

#asks #long post for ts #discourse // lmao #i guess i'll publish this now...? while no one is awake

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itsrileyhfan-blog · 4 years

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Process Blog

Intro To Graphic Design Research

Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund

There are so many people that struggle with disabilities everyday that need help receiving help for their disability. There is also a huge lack of understanding from people that are not affected by disabilities to understand what these people are going through. The National Organization on Disability, Incight as well as Broad Futures are just some organizations helping with this problem. There is a huge calling for this throughout the United States because of a huge percentage of people dealing with disabilities. There is an 11.6% of people fighting disabilities in New York State alone (see in citation 3). The best way to go and get this truly recognized and get support is to make the people who do not struggle with it see that it is a problem and possibly they know someone that may be affected by a disability and they may want to help.

CITATIONS

“Home.” Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund, 6 Nov. 2019, https://dredf.org/.

National Center on Disability and Journalism, https://ncdj.org/resources/organizations/.

Disability Statistics, http://www.disabilitystatistics.org/reports/acs.cfm?statistic=1.

National LGBTQ Task Force

This is a huge discussion and debate in our country and for people to get the rights that they long deserve means that they need to make people aware. With many advocacy campaigns there is always a lack of understanding both sides, and that is what all these topics need. Organizations that are involved in helping with this are Family Equality Council, The LGBT National Help Center as well as the Human Rights Campaign. There is a growing amount of people that are in the LGBTQ community that would like to seek the happiness and the long term goals that other people can have like getting married and having kids that they can not have just because of the fact that they are viewed as different. Nothing makes them any different than anyone else on this planet so they should be able to seek lifelong happiness as well.

CITATIONS

-“Be You.” National LGBTQ Task Force, https://www.thetaskforce.org/.

-“LGBTQ Organizations You Need to Know.” Diversity Best Practices, https://www.diversitybestpractices.com/news-articles/22-lgbt-organizations-you-need-know.

National Resources Defense Council

This organization fights for natural resources to be given back to the earth and for things like global warming to be fought against. They are trying to help protect our planet for generations to come. This would help preserve resources and species throughout the world and help with keeping these active and a part of society. Nature Conservancy is one of the big organizations that helps fight against the depletion of these resources.

CITATIONS

-“Our Work.” NRDC, https://www.nrdc.org/work.

-“Top Public Natural Resource Organizations to Start Donating for Better Planet.” Pierce Conversation District, 24 Dec. 2018, https://www.piercecountycd.org/top-public-natural-resource-organizations-to-start-donating-for-better-planet/.

Stand For Children

This organization is trying to make it possible for kids to receive the best possible education that they can receive no matter where they are located. The reason that this is very important is because the number of people that go to college is large but the number that actually graduate is a whole lot smaller. With this possibility it is making lower level education more extensive and cover more difficult and complicated topics. The reason that this is important is so that people that do not have the money for college can still receive a great education without having to spend all the money, they can still survive and be a part of society.

CITATIONS

-“We're Turning 20 Years Old!” Stand for Children, http://stand.org/.

National Immigration Law Center

The NILC is an organization trying to fight against the databases and the context that the United States government uses in an attempt to deport immigrants. The reason that this need to be advocated for is because they need people that are not paying attention to the news and what is going on to help out and help them make a stand. Raices and ACLU are a couple organizations helping fight for these rights.

CITATIONS

-“Home.” National Immigration Law Center, 1 Nov. 2019, https://www.nilc.org/.

-Gallucci, Nicole. “7 Activist Groups Supporting Families at the Border That Need Your Help Right Now.” Mashable, Mashable, 18 June 2018, https://mashable.com/article/child-separation-immigration-charities-donate/.

WWF or World Wildlife Federation

This organization is solely with trying to help the safety and security of wildlife and certain species that are the brink of extinction. They also try to rehabilitate certain species to help them try to adapt to new surroundings. As well as they are big with trying to help restore and save habitats for species thats original habitat may be in danger of being destroyed or destroyed. The National Resource Defense Council does some similar things but is more involved within the environment than with the animals themselves.

CITATIONS

-“Endangered Species Conservation.” WWF, World Wildlife Fund, https://www.worldwildlife.org/.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

This organization is helping fight against the high rates of suicides around the world trying to help people that are dealing with suicidal thoughts. They also are a huge advocate for depression and diagnosing it and giving people resources and people to talk to that have gone through certain things as well as to try to talk people out of suicide. Jed, The One More Light Campaign and The Trevor Project are all helping in this related field but some in different sub sections.

CITATIONS

-“Home.” Lifeline, https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

-“8 Suicide Prevention Organizations To Know During Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.” Bustle, https://www.bustle.com/p/8-suicide-prevention-organizations-to-know-during-suicide-prevention-awareness-month-2343815.

Families USA

This is a health care advocacy that wants every family to have the best possible resources and options possible through the best Health Care possible. Most families are not able to get healthcare and are properly able to help their families when they are sick because they do not have the funds or insurance to get the proper help that is needed for certain procedures or just a simple check up. This organization is trying to give everyone a better chance at health care. The Joint Commision, Anthem and AMA are other organizations that are Health Care advocates.

CITATIONS

-“Home.” Families Usa, https://familiesusa.org/.

-Jointcommission.org, https://www.jointcommission.org/.

-“Anthem Health Insurance, Medicare, & Group Health Plans.” Anthem, https://www.anthem.com/.

-“Membership.” American Medical Association, https://www.ama-assn.org/amaone/membership?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=pe-digital-ads-membership&utm_effort=GG0001&gclid=CjwKCAiAqqTuBRBAEiwA7B66hdfPvGbTbVAqapjA8jfEKmY52gsNYEf-511uZWAtbBTlFX_kaEPUGxoC3ksQAvD_BwE.

PFLAG

Is an organization in which they are trying to strengthen families that have been impacted through someone in the family being gay or lesbian. This organization tries to help families understand as well as try to make parents that basically disown their kids try to understand and mend the relationship between.

CITATIONS

“PFLAG National Says, ‘Protect Our Care!".” PFLAG, 21 Oct. 2019, https://pflag.org/.

Gray Panthers

This organization is against ageism and says that people should not be forced into retirement and should have the choice to keep working. It also fights for people not getting hired based on their age like younger people getting hired over elders.

CITATIONS

“GRAY PANTHERS NYC.” Welcome | GRAY PANTHERS NYC, http://www.graypanthersnyc.org/.

PROPOSAL

Animals are a necessary and very big part of our everyday ecosystem. But as the human world progresses and progresses into a concrete no forest no grass world we keep pushing these animals out of their homes and habitats that they have adapted and have been living in some before we as humans were even here. Many people say that extinction does not happen as frequently as it is talked about. That is because the species that we know best as humans were not the ones being dramatically affected in the beginning but with our deforestation and the progression of cities and making this more and more a concrete world has started to now affect species we know as well as love. For example a few species on the brink of extinction are Lions, Pandas, Great White Sharks, Bald Eagles and Elephants are just a small list of animals that are at risk of extinction in the near future if this keeps progressing and we as humans keep taking away their homes and places to live. Now with the United States of America’s president Donald Trump in office and taking away the Endangered Species Act makes the movement of trying to give back and trying to save these animals that have done nothing to deserve this and deserve this painful and slow demise the help as well as the resources that these species well deserve and need to have their lives saved. Most people wonder why it is so important to give species resources to live. The reason is that when we lose certain species and they become extinct they had an ecological print on that habitat as well as that ecosystem. When you take an animal out and remove them from an ecosystem or habitat it impacts that ecosystem greatly causing for other animals survival rates to go down causing for more animals to become extinct. Which means that if certain species go extinct that farmers crops will be taken by more bugs, pollen will not spread as much through the world and so on. Each lose of a species will impact a bigger a bigger picture the more we lose. We as humans have always said that we were going to help brink of extinction animals not go extinct but we as humans keep taking away their homes. So now is the time to make a change and make your actions to fight this finally come through. Help the Save Me Foundation gain money and resources to help fight against species extinction. Time to put our words into action because Actions Speak Louder Than Words. We as humans owe this to the lives of the species that roam this beautiful planet with us so they can have a long prosperous life like we ourselves want for ourselves and all of our loved ones. The Save Me Foundation will help gain resources and habitats back to these wonderful animals so that they can live their lives not only for tomorrow but for generations to come. But to do that we need your help, so help us help save the animals and give back to the animals that walk these plains and valleys just as we do.

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jonboudposts · 5 years

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Winston Churchill and the British Fear of History

This piece is adapted from a broadcast of All the Rage due to be played on Trax FM on 20 February 2019. It will then be available for streaming and download; I thought it was worth putting into a readable piece too but please excuse the tone if it sounds like a radio show.

Sometimes when the deadline for a radio show approaches, I can be rather panicked. It can be a struggle to address interesting subjects in the right detail, or at the right time and I often have weeks wandering around stressing about what we should talk about.

This is not one of those weeks; because often, especially in Britain, anything from a serious issue to a seriously-not one drops into my lap from the wider world and our wonderful media - this week it has been that ghost of British history’s appalling past in the shape of one of Britain’s worst sons, Mr Winston Churchill.

The reason he is back in the news is because a few people recently have mentioned how he was not a wonderful person unlike his historical profile; the one getting the most attention is Labour Shadow Chancellor John MacDonnell, who was asked if Winston Churchill was a hero or villain; he replied villain and qualified this as being based in his actions as part of the Tonypandy riots. It caused the usual bullshit response from the usual people and lots of pathetic apologetic behaviour too.

Personally I wish they ha asked me because my response to Churchill would cause mass pearl-clinching hysteria in these circles no doubt.

Now, this will not be a biography on the bloke; I am not going to note his school life, every position he ever held or what so-and-so said about him. This is about facing some of Britain’s most terrible history and how it affects life in the country today – and what position Churchill takes in all this.

Straight out the gate, he is my position:

I hate Winston Churchill. I hate the things he believed, the things he did based on those beliefs and how he holds a heroic position in much of British culture. As a working class political activist and believer in the importance of knowing our history, he is a figure of oppression. As an active anti-racist, he is a figure of evil. He is class privilege personified and someone who has become a Jesus-like figure to the far right and centre and an example of the cultural inertia we face today.

More importantly, I hate the way it has become taboo to raise any question about him or anything about the Second World War, including setting certain facts straight.

If you are someone who feels saying such things about people like him or feel any criticism of the generation he supposedly represents is not acceptable, we will never agree but I would ask you to listen and hear a totally different view that while perhaps repellent to you, is sincerely held and formed.

Churchill represents so much that I hate about British culture and society and he was a terrible man. Let’s look at his worst hits:

Racism – Churchill was a white supremacist and is today considered a hero by people who have the same opinions. He saw Indians, whom he starved and Kurds, who he wanted to gas as ‘beastly people’ of a lesser worth and talked of wiping out the Japanese.

Whites were a stronger race according to him; better than blacks or quote ‘red Indians’ and this justified taking their place an land, mass slaughter, etc. Ironically for his modern supporters, he had more respect for Islam then they like to admit but one does not cancel out all the others.

He was also not opposed to fascism; he in fact had admiration for Franco in Spain and spoke admiringly of Mussolini in Italy.

Famine – most acts of mass starvation are caused by human action and Churchill was fundamental to the Bengal famine in India where 4 million or more died and it is estimated the Indian population suffered the equivalent of a loss up to 100 million.

Ireland – he suppressed Irish people, their culture and anyone who believed in independence including sending the brutal Black and Tans to subject the population to violent suppression, with thousands killed during the War of Independence.

Miners – during the miner strike of 1910-11, where strikers attempted to improve their terms and conditions that were being kept deliberately low. Mr Churchill decided to send in the troops and many in the working class community and especially Wales have never forgiven him.

He was a racist, extremist and enemy of the working class – simple as that. He was totally led by ego and getting his name into the history books just like some of his political decedents, although most of them have not managed to rack up the bodies that Winston has on him.

This of course feeds into the subservient attitude of today’s British (or more specifically English) culture that detests change and difference and while refusing to show decency and respect to so many types of people and viewpoints, demands obedience to the things they hold dear – such as war and dominating other parts of the world.

Every far right group, politician or general gobshite uses the war and ‘respect’ for soldiers as a shield usually for their own racism or similar hatred. It is a mindset like many religions or cults try to enforce – of not thinking or questioning what you are told. This foul representative of the ruling order somehow becomes a ‘man of the people’ through the power and privilege bestowed upon him by his class position.

In the modern context, we now see ludicrous comparisons with Brexit to the ‘Blitz spirit’ and a need to believe in Britain to get what you want; this was of course what won World War 2 and nothing to do with the Soviet army smashing the shit out of the Nazis at the expense of around 27 million soldiers and civilians on their part.

Worse, some people seem to like the idea of the Blitz; when bomber planes randomly took out houses and people every night; this is something that can only be thought by the dangerously ignorant and disconnected, not to mention a great insult to those who survived it, not to mention those not so lucky.

Winston Churchill did not win WW2; he did not even fight in it. He toured the sites of warfare after the bodies were cleared away and after the war, when the British electorate put him out of a job, he spent time writing himself into the history books; in fact many of his quotes are quite useful here – ‘history will be kind to me for I intend to write it’.

What he did is make speeches calling for unity and strength, which he acted on by leading a coalition government. But this was his job and not the only speeches he made. He also praised Mussolini, Franco and even seems to have admiration for Hitler. In fact his view as we noted earlier is that fascism was only a problem if it invaded Britain; it could do what it liked on the continent.

Winston Churchill did not save Britain in the war; everyday people fought, planned, sacrificed and died. Most importantly, the generation who fought in the war knew this.

Post-WW2: Birth of the Welfare State

The generation that fought in the war, who we lionise more than we ever talked to, had far less delusions about Winston Churchill; so much in fact that upon returning home and perhaps remembering how badly the returnees from WW1 had been treated, they demanded a better country to live in with a welfare state that took care of it’s people rather than privileged the rich.

Churchill was up for none of this – so they voted him out. A ruling class thug could never bring himself to allow the rabble to have any control over their own lives nor the country they had just fought for.

Fortunately the Labour Party was offering free healthcare via the NHS and all the benefits of a decent welfare system that treated people with decency and respect – and fortunately for all of us, the public voted for it.

Churchill’s Cheerleaders

Boris Johnson – this bell-end has written a book on the man and has nothing but unqualified and uncritical praise. For those of you not in the know, Boris Johnson is another egotistical upper class prick who has come into politics as his birthright – he is also utterly useless and never takes responsibility for his actions; sound familiar?

During the last week, when it was announced that the budget for a planned garden bridge that was never build during his time as London Mayor ran to £53 million of public funds, you would think the media might have been chasing him over this and a few other gaffs. But no, he was able to flap about John MacDonnell and the great insult to daddy Winston. Talk about a snowflake.

Also like Churchill, our Bodger Boris loves to indulge in racism such as against Muslim women and their ‘letterbox’ face vales, or claiming that when President Obama said Britain would not get preferential treatment for trade deals upon leaving the EU, that he was motivated by his ‘Kenyan roots’ to ‘hate Britain’ – so at least Boris has some understanding of British history.

Jacob Rees-Mogg – the living epitome of class privilege and the awful right wing politics that goes with it. Old Jacko cuts a ludicrous figure and that is probably the most dangerous thing about him; for like Mr Johnson he comes across as someone not to take seriously – but we really should.

Along with his retro-views on women and LGBT rights, he loves the Victorian era and was once exposed attending a dinner hosted by The Traditional Britain Group, who among other things feel no one non-white can be British and advocates other ethno-nationalist themes. They have advocated for the deportation of non-whites including Doreen Lawrence. They also hosted Simon Heffer and Richard Spencer as speakers.

His recent hit was to claim that the British invention of concentration camps during the Boar War was for their own safety and all those who died were just part of what happened years ago when more people just died…this was part of his answer to the question of Churchill.

All of which slots nicely into his hard right political position

Sadiq Khan – I don’t like to take a pop at the London Mayor as in a lot of ways I like him; but he is a centrist and on issues like this, he is a little too cautious for my liking; not perhaps a cheerleader but part of those who have equally failed to tackle the true meaning and human weight of the actions that Churchill committed.

While co-hosting a regular phone-in last week on LBC Radio, the question came up and he talked about understanding Churchill ‘in context’. What exactly the context for understanding a mass murderer who hated non-whites and the working class is, Sadiq did not go on to note sadly.

In fact this liberal unease at condemning Winston Churchill is probably more disgusting that the right wing open praise and hero worship; after all, it is their nature to cheer a right wing white supremacist whose actions led to the death of thousands – what’s your excuse liberal boy?

No doubt it relates to the hatred in liberal centrist circles for the left; during the Blair and Brown years they thought the political inevitably of capitalist realism meant we had been cast into history forever. But that is not the case and they have been having daily breakdowns ever since Corbyn became Labour Party leader.

Perception

Earlier I referred to the perception of Winston Churchill in this country and what I am specifically talking about is how he has become an icon who cannot be criticised; when people do criticise him, responses can range from complete dismissal of you as a person to outright death threats.

But it was not always such because once again we have seen a cultural movement that has taken even more drastic hold in the last thirty years’ class war.

Despite what media and modern discourse might have you believe, it is not uncommon – and was more so for the war generation – to find working class communities and people who have no time for Winston Churchill, my family included. He was seen as the elitist rich boy he was and all the things he did were informed by that and the need to preserve the status quo. People from Wales to India have no trouble assessing him based on everything he did, not just his hyped-up war record.

So many of the ideals of the far right come from Churchill; his belief in the lesser worth of other nations’ people and religions; his belief in mass slaughter; that ethnicities like Indian people ‘bread like rabbits’ and even closer to home, his contempt for the Irish and working class in general.

Subservience

All of this is also tied into British history in regards Empire and all the evils done there. Too much of English-dominated society either does not want to face this history, or has no problem with it; this is the reason for racism, xenophobia and the silly idea of English exceptionalism

Now I have my theories about why this is but none of them are complete so I may have to conclude with a question rather than an answer; why are people so subservient to power? We can look nationally, in which case no doubt it involves the class system but then America is just as bad if not worse. They of course have a class system that is rarely talked about traditionally but also the overt worship of position in hierarchy, which they probably inherited from the British. It does not matter how you got power, just that you have it.

So is it a western problem? Not entirely although that may be a particular type but plenty of countries in Africa, Asia, Latin America, anywhere you choose to mention has a love of ‘strong man’ leaders.

But then again many other parts of the world – from Europe to wider – have also had working class-led revolutions and Britain has not.

Recently Lord Finkelstein – a Tory Lord – published a piece in The Times saying that Churchill was a racist and life-long white supremacist. Even someone on the political opposite gets this, so what’s the problem?

Conclusion

Winston Churchill was one of the worst people Britain ever produced who cynically wrote himself into history as a more important man than he was.

I feel no affinity to country or nation and I will not surrender my critical faculties for anyone especially a self-serving member of the elite.

This brings us back to the culture war again and links into wider blathering about ‘Western Civilisation’ and how anything foreign (read non-white or Jewish) is degrading the greatness of our beloved culture – that would be the thing whose biggest exports in the last 20/25 years have been a game show about becoming a millionaire and a supposed-talent show about torturing my ears. ‘Western Culture’ is again a concept with roots in colonialism, anti-Semitism and racist assumptions about impurity brought about by mixing.

As Owen Jones pointed out, our rights and freedoms were not given to us but won by everyday civilians demanding them; suffragettes, trade unionists, political campaigners and today kids striking for the future of the planet.

The hero worship of Winston Churchill is a way of airbrushing out the work done by all these people; real people like you and me who give and gave everything as oppose to Churchill who only ever acted for himself. Hero worship and patriotism will get you nowhere and require wiping out large swaths of actual fact and history in order to make your side look better – a side to which you have added nothing, merely been born into and taken for granted that you have a right to certain things above others.

Now, for the first time in my life, we have the chance to really change society – to make life better with stronger rules and laws governing working; the opportunity for a foreign policy that does not involve terrorising weaker countries; to make life more equal and demand those with the most pay their way. We also need to get with the programme in regards climate change otherwise we will not be here much longer.

Ditch the worshipping of anyone but especially these appalling establishment toads. The class war has not managed to destroy us despite throwing everything at the job; now we need to stop doing it for them.

Recommendations

Winston Churchill by Clive Ponting (Sinclair-Stevenson, 1994)

A far more honest and comprehensive study of the man’s career

Contrpoints video on The West was very informative and funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyaftqCORT4

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colorisbyshe · 7 years

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Expecting the ace community to have a grasp on healthy sexual relationships is probably considered acephobia or something but I often wonder how many women are clinging to their ace label because they're in a shitty relationship with a guy that doesn’t give a crap about their physical and romantic needs and they think the problem lies with them instead of their partner. I know this isn't something that only ever happens in straight relationships but you know… society ('contd)

The ace community adopting the qu//r label somehow led to this belief that suggesting there might be a different reason for someone’s asexuality beyond self-identification is on the same level and more than comparable to telling someone they aren’t really gay or bi or trans. I just wonder why the ace community is so opposed to change, growth and questioning your identity. It’s bullshit and it’s ugly that the members of the ace community don’t give a single shit about the harm they’re causing.

There’s a lot of different levels to why this is happening. One is the fact that aces fucking cling to “We’re only 1% of the population, we can’t do anything for ourselves!!” narrative. Which like… just doesn’t hold true but whatever. But it’s there to cultivate this kind of bulletproof victim complex which makes them immune to criticism but also constantly reaching out for people like them to build up their numbers and feel less like victims while still being able to play up their victimhood. “It’s hard to be ace, we’re valid, come join us.”

But unlike any other “sexuality” (if we’re going to call it such) is that… the way they reach out is at similar broad experiences rather than something specific. Like, whereas Gay/Bi/Trans all have strict definitions and therefore pretty specific elements to them, asexuality can pretty much be anything–experiencing sexual attraction but not wanting sex is considered ace in some circles, not experiencing sexual attraction but wanting sex is considered ace, wanting sex and experiencing sexual attraction but only after the 4th date is a variety of ace.

A gay person reaches out to someone struggling with “When I see girls, I get kinda nervous and just wanna be close with them… am I gay, oh my god?” but an ace person sees, “I’m 14, terrified of the idea of being penetrated, and feel isolated from my peers who are losing their virginities already (so they tell me but spoiler alert they’re lying, are talking about trauma, or more often than not regret it later on)” and goes “Yeah, sounds just like me, a 28 year old who loves and has sex but I’m not like the other girls because I don’t wanna fuck strangers.”

Because of this “Anyone is ace if you warp your understanding of sex and sexual attraction enough” mindset, they end up reaching out to a lot people dealing with genuine problems, like you’ve mentioned, and essentially offer a bandaid solution to problems that can be gaping holes.

And, in many ways, make it much, much worse. Women are told that having sex you don’t really want for yourself to make your partner happy is a normal and healthy way to have a relationship. Trans kids with dysphoria who haven’t realized it’s dysphoria yet are told that they can’t imagine themselves having sex because they’re ace, not because… they’re dysphoric. And the list goes on and on and on–fat kids who have shame over their bodies that makes it hard to see themselves as sexual beings, LGBP kids with internalized homophobia, trauma survivors who haven’t processed their trauma–all these people are told “That is asexuality and that is an essential part of who you are that cannot be changed, lest we call it internalized aphobia.”

And it’s absoFUCKINGlutely an intentional manipulation tactic. Think about the average ace person. I promise you what first comes to mind isn’t a cis straight neurotypical white dude. I promise you it’s probably someone who is either neurodivergent/mentally ill, LGBT, or a woman. Or they’re a teenager–often not even an older teenager but hovering around 13-16. Or they’re just someone completely socially awkward and probably is in their 20s without having sexual experiences in their 20s because the chance just literally never came up.

A lot of very vulnerable, often very young people are preyed on by adults and told their very much non-ace experiences are asexuality.

Are there genuinely ace people? I’m sure of it. Are there genuinely ace people who are genuinely trying to help other people they relate to and perceive as ace? Of course! Are these people actually finding other ace people? On occasion, yes.

But by and large what is happening is something different–it is intentional manipulation or in more innocuous cases it’s the blind leading the blind. It is an attempt to cultivate an identity around victimhood to fit into specific social contexts, like on tumblr, where victimized people have platforms to speak, communities to fall back on, and a culture to enjoy. There are a lot of people using this incoherent identity to gain status, gain friends, and be ~relatable and to use this supposed victimhood as a shield to avoid criticism and acknowledging privilege. And the more people they convince are Just Like Them, the harder it is to criticize them and the more legitimate they are seen as.

By specifically taking up the label queer, they are attaching themselves to the LGBT community avoid criticism and to, directly or not, make parallels between their experiences and ours. This is, again, to avoid criticism and acknowledge their privilege. It’s victim status by association. It’s culture by association. It is legitimacy by association.

And much of this is deliberate. A lot of it stems from young people not knowing better. But EVERY single adult involved in this knows what they’re doing, what the cost of it is, and how much pain they’ve caused.

#ace discourse #Anonymous

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