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minjiarchive · 4 months

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my way or fuck it out | jiu x fem!reader

i'll stop shit posting for now just to feed you all 🥲

warnings / smut, mommy kink (lolol i wish i could stop with the mommy kink with minji)

Minji doesn't always choose 'fucking it out' as an option to handle bad behavior.

That's only when it comes to other people though.

She's the leader in her group and sometimes her position can bleed into your relationship and sex, which is why she didn't tolerate the way you teased her all night during dinner with the other girls.

It was an innocent game after all – but that's if you didn't get her wet in the process of teasing her earlier. You enjoyed watching her flushed and fucked out face every time you touched her under the table,

Minji doesn't take your game very lightly and in fact, she lays out all the different ways she could handle you on the drive back home.

She sat in the passenger seat of the car while you were seated at the back. The distance seemed good for now, she was able to settle whatever the fuck happened earlier in silence.

“Any reason you wanted to tease me tonight?” Minji texts, hearing your phone chime from the back of the van. You smile to yourself, knowing it's a message from her since she's the only one awake in the car.

“Nope.”

Your single-worded message is funny to her, she knows you'd never be that bold if she was on top of you.

“You're being such a brat, I hate it.” She doesn't really hate it, it just gives her a bigger excuse to be rough with you.

Minji notices your smirk grow bigger in the rear-view mirror, you aren't subtle at all, she suspects. She's prepared for a message that's going to get her wet (again) or another snarky remark from you.

And if she could pick, she'd rather want the message that would get her wet.

“It's not a big deal, unnie.”

Minji slacks her jaw at your text, it's like you're purposely trying to get on her last nerve. This conversation was going nowhere at all and not in the way she wanted to handle it. Minji is a composed woman though, working her thoughts by herself, so she thinks of ways to approach her last few texts to you since you'd be arriving at the dorm soon.

She quickly types the one phrase that always has that effect on you, “Is that so?”

You could say she gave you a million chances tonight, turning down all those opportunities to be good just to turn her on. And you don’t process how severe you've already made the situation, Minji can take a little more of your games, you're sure of it.

“Yeah?”

Yeah.

Minji isn't really having it with you this time, she knows that her messages will never get through your head until she does something – touch you, fuck you. You aren't close to deserving a simple request like that and with the time you have left until you reach the dorm, she doesn't have the patience to take care of your mess anymore.

“Tell Bora she's sleeping alone tonight, you're coming with me to my room.”

“It's a shame that you don't get to be loud tonight,” she speaks, her voice low and calm while she positions you on her lap, “because you obviously want to be a smart ass and you don't know your place, do you?”

You're honestly losing your shit and you don't know how to reply. She isn't wrong, she's never wrong, but you don't want to admit that she's right.

It's embarrassing to say the least.

You feel humiliated just squirming when she's barely touched you, skin already feeling sensitive. You choose not to say anything and nod at her words instead, which is a horrible idea for tonight.

She slaps the side of your thigh, not as hard as she would if she slapped your ass instead but still left a lingering sting.

“Words.”

The way heat traveled to your center almost immediately made you question what unhealed part of you was so attracted to that. Maybe it's the disciplining part in this, her voice, or maybe everything about her has you down to her mercy, all of the above could work.

“I do know my place, I'm sorry mommy,” your words slipping out faster from the desperation.

“Good, now,” her fingers gripping your jaw, making sure she has your full attention, “you're going to take my fingers, okay? Don't fight it.”

One second, you're clenching around nothing, another second, and you clench around her slender digits.

She pumps her fingers in a monitored pace, stretching your cunt out with each thrust. Your mouth fell open, letting out moan after moan as your legs spread wider for her. Minji keeps your legs there, using her one free hand to push your thigh open.

“Tell mommy how sorry you are.”

“I'm sorry... I'm sorry,” you whine, stuttering over your pleas when her palm starts rubbing faster against your clit.

She enjoys herself, loving how easy it is to fuck this side out of you, hearing you beg for her. Minji finds you so pretty like this, all open and flushed out for her as you let her do whatever she wants. Although she can't see your face directly, she knows the rush she’ll get seeing your flustered face afterward.

Minji doesn't think it's enough though. This is your punishment, it's not supposed to be quick and easy,

“Are you getting close?” Minji asks.

“Yes, please, I'm gonna cum.”

She wasn't sure who gave you permission to cum but you were far from earning that now.

Minji's question was soon followed by her fingers slowly leaving your entrance, the pressure on your clit gone. Your soul entering your body again once the pleasure is all taken away. It would be a long night of edging if you think you'd be let off that fast.

You cried out, “No, no, please! I'm sorry for misbehaving earlier, I promise it won't happen again...”

Minji believes you, you're so good for her already. Words are important to her play though, she'd always remind you to use your words when you forget which is often lately. But you're lucky that Minji is a patient girl because she has no problem with giving you reminders, she understands that it takes time.

She hasn't had all her fun yet – so she isn't satisfied. You're aware of how embarrassingly quick it took for you to get close, it wouldn't be fair if she didn't tease you just a little bit more.

“And how are you going to prove that to me?”

Her fingers were covered in your slick, making it easier to spread it throughout your folds, your breath picking up when her thumb rolls over your clit. Minji hears you very clearly and uses it to her advantage, running a few more strokes along your swollen bud.

She wants you broken down to your lowest, having you reach your high multiple times that you can't speak without sobs coming out.

Minji pulls every muscle in your body to its peak, hips jerking up and your walls tensing tighter. It feels too good that you almost forget to answer her question in which you scrambled to speak before further consequences,

“I-I'm sorry, please... I'll let you fix my attitude by making me cum as many times as you want.”

“Good girl, baby,” Minji praising, “I'll fuck you so hard that you'll think twice before acting up again.”

#edged at the end bc if i write too much then #writers block will be 100x worse #i'll make a pt2 if i can i promise #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher smut #dreamcatcher #jiu scenarios #jiu imagines #jiu x reader #jiu smut #wlw #wlw smut #kpop smut

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tls123 · 3 months

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han sooyoung 1863 (and her specifically) offering eternal sleep to yoo joonghyuk is an act of mercy and.... and, god, it was kindness

#orv spoilers #your god (who does not yet know she's your god) looks at you and goes #sacrifice your connections to all of these people #suffer alone for so long you become a shell of a man #and at the end i promise i'll make this world (which you love so so much) as safe as it can be #not as safe as we would want it. we cannot save it in that way #but we can hit pause and at least stop it from getting any worse #this is the best peace i can offer it and you #and then. then you can go to sleep. you can stop.#i've made you walk for so long now just a few more steps and i'll let you rest #orv #han sooyoung #yoo joonghyuk #orv.txt #fra.txt #yoohan #their dynamic in 1863 makes me insane in hindsight #and she doesn't know she made him but the fact that she alone was able to offer this to him........#of course. of course it was her. it couldn't be anyone but.

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mugentakeda · 3 months

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the tapping of his fathers pacing on the tile is almost enough to drive him mad.

“don’t let your brother’s incessant whining cause you to falter. this is merely a short visit to discuss the matter at hand, and then you’re on your way right back to ba sing se. he will try and whisper doubt in your ear.” the firelord stops to shake a finger at him. “do not listen to him for anything! i will help you in the best of my ability to have this taken care of.”

“i’m not,” iroh snaps impatiently, digging his palms into his eyes. “i’m not listening to him, father. he doesn’t care for lu ten and he doesn’t have to. he has his house and i have mine. empty words have little meaning to me at the moment.”

his father purses his lips. the sting of his stare digs down to the core.

“you say that,” azulon snaps, “but i believe this to be a family affair. its possible lu ten was taken advantage of because he was too busy protecting ozai’s wife and ozai’s children to protect himself. if that’s true, then ozai owes him. i don’t give a damn if he cares about him as his nephew or not. lu ten honored his house, so he shall honor lu ten in return by shutting his trap for once.”

iroh doesn’t have the strength to respond. he’d left ba sing se in a rush after receiving the news, and ordered the shipmen to get him back home on the double. he’s sick, he’s tired, he’s terrified and angry, and he misses his son something awful. the last thing iroh cares about right now is what ozai does or has to say.

there’s a heavy, sad sigh from above him. azulon slowly makes himself comfortable on the sitting cushion next to him, grunting as his bones creak. he sets the knocked over teacup straight again and refills it. the familiar heat and fragrance does nothing to soothe iroh, however.

“there is nothing i can say to make you feel better as of right now,” his old man mutters, sitting the teapot back down with uncharacteristic gentleness, “nor can i say anything sure about ursa or the children. but lu ten, he…. he is a remarkable young man. thick skinned and ornery. lightning generation at only 21, can you believe that? he beat you by a whole year. you must have faith in him.”

“it’s not about having faith in my son, father, of course i have faith in my son. but i have no faith in whoever has- has stolen him from me!” iroh suddenly exclaims, gesturing wildly. azulon flinches as his hands come dangerously close to knocking over the tea again.

your boy flagrantly disrespected you and stayed home to laze around, ozai had hissed, his narrow eyes locked straight up at the throne. both were kneeling before their father’s throne, side by side. i don’t know why you even bother. if he thinks he’s so grown up then he can save his own skin.

iroh didn’t bother to respond. he has nothing to say to his brother even on the best of days. all his life, he’s been nothing but a background character to iroh. always insisting on holing up in his room or office, never joining family dinners or celebration banquets. never one to offer his congratulations, but expects his older brother to offer his. yet, he always liked to think his word was of any significance to iroh. that he was always to be heeded. respect to his elders only means something to his little brother if there’s something to be gained.

flagrant disrespect. lu ten did not disrespect him if iroh never directly asked or ordered anything of him in the first place. he implied it, and lu ten pushed back. it hurt, but it would’ve also been the boys first true venture outside the fire nation. so iroh understood the hesitancy.

iroh would’ve just had lu ten by his side in his war council anyway. he would’ve never seen the battlefield or the city until iroh leveled it. not a spot of green would be spared by his men.

he had envisioned himself shooting a hole right through the flimsy palace wall with his lightning, and his son by his side. winning.

nothing has gone the way you made it out to be, great spirit. i don’t feel very lucky, as of late. the evening sun peaking through the tall windows of the corridor offer his thoughts no response. the general sighs heavily, and continues on his way.

the royal procession had gone through the beach house, along with the rest of the island. not a trace left behind. no sign of a struggle, either.

the procession claims it’s like they vanished out of thin air, sir, jee had whispered.

delicate situations such as this one call for holding the ones you trust most closer than ever. thus, iroh took only his personal guards from ba sing se back with him. jee is a rugged and introverted man, one that iroh knows can keep a secret, so he has been acting as his messenger man and valet for the time being.

another member of his most trusted circle is one of his longest working servants, one that belongs to iroh’s house personally. her name is su, and she is a stout woman around his father’s age. stern and silent, but trustworthy. she was the one that kept a close eye on lu ten from a distance during the periods of time iroh wasn’t around in his youth. she had been the midwife at his birth, she had been the one to pick the wet nurse.

and she had slipped iroh a journal outside of lu ten’s room. leather bound and stained in a deep red, with delicate embroidery of lotus flowers decorating its cover. it looked like something the lady ursa would gift him.

i came across this left behind in lady ursa’s garden, your highness, she had murmured fiercely. i snatched it right up and held it for you upon your return, lest it fall into the wrong hands.

the dark, warm silence of iroh’s own chambers is a small comfort, but the cold leather of the journal in his hands chains him to the cruel reality.

one of the vows iroh made for himself when lu ten came into puberty was that he would never violate his son’s privacy. he’d like to think that his son’s life possibly being in danger is a good enough reason to break it, but it still feels… wrong. especially now that he’s an adult himself.

it’ll be like eating a dollop of wasabi, he tells himself. spicy and painful one moment, then fading tingling the next.

with a sigh, he cracks it open to the back page. a few lines of familiar scrawl.

and the reason i torture myself trying to ignore all these things about him that bother me is because….

he looks away, shame crawling up his back. the candle sitting at the corner of his desk flicker along with his irregular, fear ridden heart.

a dollop of wasabi, he reminds himself. he opens his eyes again with a long breath and looks back down at the journal once more.

…well, that’s the crux of it. i just don’t know how to finish that sentence anymore.

that tells him a whole lot of nothing.

iroh flips the page back again, and is immediately overwhelmed by completely filled pages. then startled, by the sheer amount of times his own name pops up to his searching eyes among walls of scrawled text.

unease curls in his gut, like a dragon slowly rising from a slumber.

the ink doesn’t look too old. and su had said she found it in the lady ursa’s garden. and then jee said the royal procession claimed the fours’ trip to ember island was only to last three days, tops.

and as far as iroh knew, lu ten had been keeping quietly busy after iroh’s departure to ba sing se. lu ten willingly buried himself in paper work, always hunting for things he had the power to make into his business. training with lightning generation was grueling, and took hours, on top of the meditation necessary. and it takes a clear mind to even work with lightning, so…

had he done something recently to upset lu ten, and didn’t realize it? what things about iroh did lu ten torture himself trying to ignore? dramatic wording like that is difficult to overlook.

the general thinks back to how well his son can hide his emotions. lu ten’s court face beats even ozai’s, so it made him a gnarly pai sho opponent, but… he never did the backhanded comments. he can lie, but he’s a man of action before a plotting one. so you’ll never see the storm coming until it hits you directly in the face.

the letters he got back from him in ba sing se were… neutral. unbothered. he hadn’t seemed very troubled at the palace gates during his departure, either. tired and a bit wary, maybe.

but now that he thinks about it, the way lu ten looked at him had been… strange. his eyes had an emotion swirling in them that the general couldn’t read.

he rapidly rolls over the most recent letters in his head, the days right before leaving, trying to think of what he might have done to set lu ten off-

…the tiff they had on the evening before iroh’s departure.

he had forgotten about it completely.

spirits, he’d forgotten about it by the time he stepped foot on the shore. the elation of finally arriving at ba sing se, the first big step toward fulfilling the biggest thing he’s wanted to accomplish his entire life, the ultimate win, decades of planning and dreaming, inspired by agni herself…

he’d been caught up in the heat of the moment.

it didn’t even turn into an actual argument, that’s how small the tiff had been- a few things thrown back and forth during their private dinner, and the rest of it had been spent in awkward silence. iroh had let his hurt get the better of him, and he got testy.

the only thing that spoiled his ongoing luck, his relief of finally being able to go and crush his country’s most stubborn opponent, to make the second biggest win since sozin- was his own son not joining in, or showing any interest.

and that wasn’t even it. the closer iroh and his advisors got to bringing their planning to a conclusion, the more withdrawn lu ten became. whenever iroh brought it up, his son would close like a firelily in the night.

i assumed you were above teenage rebellion, iroh had muttered. i understand you want accomplishments of your own, but-

teenage rebellion? you’re joking, right? why do you always insist on- on patronizing me whenever we don’t agree on something? if you think you’re gonna guilt trip me into changing my mind, you’ve got it all wrong.

the disbelieving, ever so slightly shriller tone lu ten’s voice took on reminded iroh of his mother. she always had the habit of raising her voice a few pitches when she got upset. it reminded iroh of a coyote-eagle, once upon a time. the older lu ten got, the taller and leaner his face and physique became, the more time they spent apart, it’s like a vivid repeat of his mother. he even became a hand talker when iroh hadn’t been looking, just like fuhua.

(are habits hereditary, or had fuhua died after running away, and came back to haunt him?)

it’s probably best to start a bit further back in the journal. it might provide the context this father needs. he flips the pages for a few moments, and stops at random.

i spoke with a gentleman from the earth kingdom today during my observational trip through the colonies closest to the homeland. if you didn’t look close enough, you would’ve thought him to be any old fire nation fisherman, but i know green eyes when i see them.

his wife was a sailor that hails from caldera city. they met across the seas, in a neutral port town. they have two young twins, just barely older than zuko and azula. isn’t that something?

now, that is something iroh never bothered doing when he was a young man- it’s only now that his joints won’t let him run around chasing skirts anymore that he’s become a people person. but he’s proud of his boy for taking that initiative and having such a sense of responsibility, to go and mingle with the common man. an empathetic ruler that’s popular with his people will have the surest and furthest reaching authority, after all. iroh couldn’t name a single councilman off the top of his head that would be willing to even breathe the same air as a commoner, much less a colonial mutt.

however… this isn’t a colonial. he’s too keen on the idea of his family members’ abductors being petty, revenge seeking crooks from the earth kingdom to be okay with the idea of his son even conversing with one. for all they claim to be true and steadfast, them sneaking in and attacking an unarmed woman and her young children in their beach house just to get back at iroh is all too realistic of an idea.

but lu ten wasn’t unarmed. lu ten is one of the strongest men in the fire nation, and iroh isn’t even being biased about that. it takes prodigy to conjure lightning, and mastery to control it. and lu ten was very protective of ursa and the children- almost too protective. back in the day, during celebration parties at the palace, lu ten would damn near prowl around a pregnant ursa to fend off the careless crowd, lest they bump into her and jostle her. and he’d only been just a young teenager himself, so it was like watching a polar bear puppy that thought itself a snarly guard dog.

then a few years ago, there had been an incident where lu ten claimed zuko’s instructors were smacking him around. he’d grabbed both of the men by the collar and dragged them both viciously through the palace and right out the door- only after the sharpest scolding iroh’s ever heard since his mother was still alive. he’d never seen his son so angry. he’d chuckled at the way those old instructors had babbled apologies and fell to lu ten’s feet, while patting ursa’s back gently as she floundered.

no, it’s doubtful that an old fisherman had anything to do with it. earth kingdom or not. this is just something he needs to talk to his son about once he’s found. it would take a group of very strong benders to take lu ten down, at the very least.

he was wisecracking and friendly. we talked about his business, the officials that take care of the town and the surrounding environment, how he met his wife. he even shared his lunch during our time together- grilled fish, fragrant with sumac and citrus, and a chilled earth kingdom style mint tea. it was refreshing and unique, and i want to do it again. you’d think the fire nation would pick up these little things as it expands, but it just drowns it all out. i’m not sure if that’s a good thing. what made the food good was its earth kingdom style and seasoning, after all. what made the man interesting was his earth kingdom raised manner.

…what made lu ten think it was a good idea to write such things in a journal, and then be so careless to just forget it in ursa’s garden? he’ll have to thank su for her keen eye. if someone lacking critical thinking happened to pick this up and turn it in to his father, he’d have to deal with his son having allegations of sedition on top of everything else.

iroh, personally, is more than happy to let all traces of chilled tea get drowned out. it’s a frequent and light hearted debate between a father and son, the do’s and don’ts of tea. iroh is a stickler for tradition and enjoying the natural flavors. the fire nation boasted only the most fragrant flowers to enhance only the most delicate flavors of only the finest tea blends, after all.

his son claimed it all tasted like dinky dirt water, and stubbornly stuck with his cold hibiscus teas with herbs, and his heavily spiced and creamed saffron teas. it had been a big joke back then, but now… not so much.

a whole lifetime of a father making his son tea, sharing one of his passions. conversations over tea, tea for soothing a sore throat after screaming matches with councilmen, tea to wash down sea water accidentally swallowed at the beach. traditional methods, ceremonies, porcelain pots precious enough to buy a whole town- but it’s dirt water. yet an old fisherman from their greatest enemy shares ice water with a few mint leaves in a tin cup, and its unique.

and he wants to do it again.

the personal betrayal somehow hurts more than the blatant treachery written out plainly on the paper.

to be honest, i think that it’s a great shame that a good man like that has to be careful on his own property-property he paid for with his own money and built with his own hands- due to being from the earth kingdom, even if he has a strong marriage to a fire nation citizen. i thought about it for a long time, and realized that even if he wasn’t loyal to the crown, i didn’t mind. i don’t get angry at the idea, and i don’t think i ever have. i didn’t even think about it until i left. he made good company, offered to share his food with me, and introduced me to his beautiful children as if i was his new neighbor. i think community like that is something the fire nation needs. especially the nobility, who you’d think all have iron sticks shoved up their asses.

interactions like that are the most important ones to me, because they challenge me the most. i hate to cheapen that by thinking i just enjoy being challenged to spite my traditions and elders, or to be contrarian. that’s what coming of age means to me- looking inward, and asking the big questions.

…this can’t be why lu ten has been so distant lately.

the general slowly shuts the journal in dull horror. how long has this sickness had time to fester his son’s soul?

he swallows hard, and gingerly slides the journal in the folds of his robes. under no circumstance can anyone get their hands on it.

and later, when his gut quits churning and the candles around him quit threatening to set his room on fire, he’ll read this whole journal, front to back. brand every sentence, every symbol into his eyes. then he’s gonna burn it, bring his son home, and ask him what the hell he’s thinking.

the next morning, after letting the foul scent of burnt leather fade from his chambers, iroh finds jee.

“what can i do you for, your highness?”

“i need you to bring me the finest bounty hunter money can buy,” iroh murmurs. there’s a madness in his eyes and in his grip now that he’s had time to ponder the contents of his son’s journal, and what they entail. “and no matter what, it stays between us. i do not care what measures you must take to keep it that way.”

jee swallows hard and salutes with purpose. the poor man must be able to his see stress all over his face, but he’s barely containing himself the way it is.

this was no kidnapping. the blasted earth kingdom has everything to do with it, naturally, but it was no kidnapping.

jee returns to him that evening, followed by a lovely young woman, head to toe in black leather. her gait oozes confidence, and her narrow eyes scream danger.

this is definitely not the kind of finest iroh meant by finest bounty hunter money can buy, but he’ll take it.

“…i’ve, uh. fulfilled your request, your highness,” jee says. he looks flustered, and is clearly refusing to even glance at the woman.

“with a few breaks in between, i’m guessing. your collar is uneven, soldier,” iroh deadpans. he’d call it a shame if he wasn’t curbing an episode at the moment.

jee makes a faint noise of distress and fumbles with his uniform, blushing a deep red. iroh realizes that was the wrong thing to say at how the fair lady scowls at the crude jab.

she shoves past jee with an aggressive shoulder clip and crosses her arms before the general.

“i was promised a shitload of coin in exchange for some missing royals,” she says, voice clipped. “i don’t like to work with your kind, but good money is good money. and i can promise better and quicker results than any phony bounty hunter in the world- my companion is a shirshu. she can sniff out a rat from a whole continent away.”

a shirshu, eh? it would seem my luck has made its return after long last.

“impressive,” iroh praises truthfully. he’s a weak man for crass and foul-mouthed women. “i’d like to take a look at this beast, and then we can discuss the details and prices. i also hope you’re alright with keeping this transaction under wraps, my dear.”

she sneers. “you can call me june. and i’d highly suggest keeping a few steps away from my nyla, for your own good.”

jee clears his throat. “i’d listen to that one, sir. her creature is something else.”

iroh hums pleasantly, and keeps a few paces behind june as they go. a strange calm has washed over him now that the universe finally makes sense to him again; he has a few more people he’d like to question, and he’ll be all set. then sooner, if he’s lucky, rather than later, his sister-in-law, his nephew, and his niece will all be found and returned home, safe and sound. his son will be in his arms, whole and unharmed. ba sing se will simply have to wait.

and if they’re lucky, the dragon of the west won’t have thought up a better solution to finally grinding their sorry ashes into their own dirt by the time he gets back. but regardless, he will win.

#somehow this did not leave off on a redemption-esque note. My bad #I PROMISE IM GONNA ABIDE BY THE POLL RESULTS OKAY #this part can honestly be called Irohs Cognitive Dissonance: The Thrilling Saga #also im sorry about the lack of focus on irohs relationship with zuko and azula.#i know it tracks in canon (azulas doll gift) but im still. Kinda unsure.#im honestly better at just writing irohs dialogue vs his thoughts #and this being him before he starts changing makes it even WORSE #so i hope. i did him some justice. Awks #also i hope you guys liked the implication of june and jee making out sloppy style.#even if iroh kinda ruined it.#idk where that even came from it just happened #i hope u guys are seeing all the azula-iroh parallels about Winning and Luck. thats all intentional #runaway fire fam au #alicias writing stuff

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bunnyreaper · 7 months

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PLS PLS IM BEGGING UPDATE COLLARS AND CAGES PLSSSSSS IM GONNA CRY THE CLIFFHANGER OF CHAPTER 4 PLSSS UPDATE IT

#okay but seriously #im sure you didnt mean to be rude #but im genuinely struggling so much with my physical and mental health #i can barely use my right hand at all #and some days i push myself through to try and write and you know what??#it makes my wrist worse #and yet every day i sit with this guilt and pain bcs im not doing enough #not writing enough #not good enough #and its not like i have my usual outlets to relieve stress #so yeah #ill update at some point i promise #its coming #but i literally struggle to physically type because i have one hand and one finger #and then wrist pain #and shoulder pain #and i was just SICK #like im trying my best i swear <3

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meganechan05 · 8 months

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ターセルス・ミルーリア・ダ・パーゴ

"I don't care if I go to hell. As long as I can take this one with me."

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crayonurchin · 2 months

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#ocd #gender ocd #t-ocd #ocd recovery #obsessive compulsive disorder #the summer now brings a deep dread because it keeps flaring up a very scary OCD subset in me #the OCD never stops but summer makes it worse #I can't pretend it's not there #and I can't just agree with it- cuz then there's new OCD #it's a complicated illness #and it's tricky to explain #I wanted to do this before but I was terrified of not being clear and looking transphobic #but I can't control how anyone views this- all I can do is maintain my own well being #summer 2024 will likely give me another episode of gender OCD #And I want to find joy in summertime despite that #a cute new outfit and a picnic in the park so I can paint the flowers is my current goal #old recovery is possible and you can recover too I promise #do not give up #just because it feels like you're dying it doesn't mean you are

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acetier · 1 year

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massive, self-indulgent elden ring art dump feat. varré and my tarnished, torin

he’s a lonely man of faith who finds himself slowly becoming disillusioned in said faith and succumbing to the Local Bad Influence (varré)

also wish you could bring your terrible little war surgeon with you when you become elden lord ,’:^)

#elden ring #elden ring oc #tarnished #confessor #tw: blood #ace draws #torin #varre #white mask varre #white faced varre #sorry for the tag spam in advance btw #how many tags can i add to a post?#we're about to find out lol #we'll be back to your (ir)regularly scheduled zelda after this i just needed to get it oUT of my head lmao #varré is perfectly capable of fighting and killing #but torin doesn't need to know that yet #why kill when you can get your lonely tarnished to do it for you #with the promise of affection as a reward :-)#their dynamic has been fun to write #they make each other worse before they make each other...even worse?#they're both pathetic your honor #torin: holding onto whatever affection varré gives him like a lifeline even though he logically knows he can't trust varré or his motives #eventually throwing his morals away and allowing varré to recruit him into mohg's blood cult #with the ulterior motive of usurping/killing mohg out of the desire to have varré to himself #bc he's just that starved of love and will do anything to get it #varré: knows how torin feels about him and uses intimacy to manipulate him into joining mohg's dynasty #and realizes against his will that he never wants to share that kind of devotion with anyone else now that it's directed at himself #they're both guilt/shame-ridden and it's a Fun Time #everyone: restore the elden ring and become the elden lord #torin: instructions unclear. dick stuck in war surgeon

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timlucys · 6 months

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the day the fandom realizes that chenford doesn't currently function within the confines of a healthy, communicative, adult relationship is the day i will know peace.

#like yes if the relationship you were talking about existed i'd be anti breakup too #but it doesn't! and those flaw-free characters you talk about don't exist on the show - they only exist in fic!#these are flawed messy and sometimes immature people with a vast number of communication issues #and a penchant for being the martyr (tim) and being the runner (lucy)#they're not automatically devoid of flaws once they're together. if anything their fear makes those flaws worse #their lack of communication and overt side-skirting of issues is prevalent from 512 to 521 without the rose coloured glasses filter #like step back from the pancakes and the 'dadford' and i promise you'll see two people with a myriad of interesting and complicated issues #and that people are allowed to think a fascinating way to handle this is to get them apart to build them stronger back together #YOU are allowed to think otherwise. but others can view this as compelling storytelling and put that above their shipper goggle lens #text

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menlove · 5 months

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saw this post on my dash (the person who put it there reblogged a version dunking on op for being a t//erf don't worry) and I was gonna say all this in the tags but it got long so I'm gonna say it here

the thing that drives me insane about this argument is that even if it were true.... so what? like the main impact of top surgery & hysterectomies are going to be hormonal imbalances which can be dealt with by that person and their doctor, but even IF it had some dastardly evil harmful horrible awful impact on that person's health... that is just. being an adult human being. hell, just being a human in general bc kids and teenagers also make choices that physically or mentally harm them all the time and that's just part of life and growing up

but like. part of being a person with autonomy is being ALLOWED to do things that might negatively impact your health or life. even if getting top surgery was a one way ticket to excruciating horrible pain (it's not) that would still be someone's personal decision to make

you can easily see this all the time in other decisions people make. people decide to drink themselves sick every day and it's not illegal. people decide to smoke multiple packs of cigarettes every day and it's not illegal. people decide to go out in the sun without sunscreen every day and it's not illegal. and of course a million other decisions that lead to physical or mental harm, but I'm focusing on physical health here bc that's the context.

but if you think that "women" are allowed to make any decision in the world with their health and bodies even if it's negative (drinking, smoking, drugs, lack of sunscreen, abortions (although this is not negative it has to do w health), eating "poorly" or rarely eating or dieting, hell even staying up all night or forgetting to take their meds or letting their chronic illnesses go untreated or literally a million little health decisions we all make every day).... and yet you draw the line at us deciding to get rid of our breasts or uteruses? I don't think you really care all that much about "women's" health and autonomy in any way that's productive.

like idk yall claim to see "women" as full people but god for fucking bid the vagina havers make their own decisions about our own bodies. we are full people too allowed to make whatever the hell decisions we want even if it's not a ticket to 100% health. who gives a shit.

#like can we talk about the influences of these things and if doctors are practicing informed consent? sure #but what we aren't going to do is pretend that dealing w hormonal imbalances is the worst possible thing ever #and that even if it were it should barr someone from making that decision #like babe I promise the daily diet coke I consume is worse for my body than top surgery was

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mellancholy-morose · 20 days

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Somehow, despite everything, I'm still managing my 100 words a day. I am damn glad I set my goal so low, though.

Excited to share a bit of timeloop fic writing tomorrow for our usual sunday wip share.

#I am terrible with consistency and #the universe isnt making it easy #life is getting exceptionally stressful and only promises to get worse in the coming weeks #but if nothing else I am managing to consistently write which is a win #Ill take what wins I can get

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mumblesplash · 11 months

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hello miners and crafters i have questions about the deep dark

see i can admit i don’t know everything

(if anyone has theories or more questions send em i have ancient city brainrot again and this is all i can think about)

1. why does the sculk inflict darkness

the doylist answer here is definitely ‘game design’, but in terms of the sculk’s biology in-universe—it doesn’t have eyes. it would have no reason to understand the concept of vision, so how does it block ours?

2. why don’t catalysts make more catalysts

when catalysts spread sculk they make sensors and shriekers, albeit rarely, but they never spawn new catalysts. the only way to create a new catalyst is to kill a warden, which means past a certain point the sculk depends on players to spread itself. again, might just be a gameplay decision, but if this is an intentional part of sculk lore it then raises the question of how the hell all the naturally generated catalysts got where they are

3. why would the pillagers bother to build with wool

now ok for context afaik no official source has confirmed for sure that the pillagers were ever there, but they obviously were, and for a while. because some parts of the cities will contain structures like these:

which are designed in the distinct style of pillager outposts and don’t match the rest of the city at all. there’s also the piles of cyan, blue, and light blue wool referred to as ‘camps’ that match the wool piles found in woodland mansions, and the implication here is that the pillagers used this wool to reconstruct parts of the wool walkways.

the problem is, the pillagers’ apparent reconstruction efforts consistently prioritize practicality over the original builders’ stylistic choices, and they would have no practical reason to use wool if only vibrations made by players can activate shriekers. so why bother? why not use wood planks or cobblestone like they do everywhere else?

#mumbling #minecraft #i feel a little like the cinemasins guy here but i promise that’s not why i’m asking #the answers to these questions are very important to my ever-expanding and unnecessarily intricate personal sculk lore #like genuinely #i recognize there are limitations to any form of storytelling i just want to know what’s lore and what’s a compromise #where is the line give me the special secret knowledge so i can start making art about it #although number 3 is kinda one of the places where i think i disagree with the writers #i don’t like the pillagers being the source of the blue wool scattered around bc before i realized they made those wooden structures #the story implied by the colored wool was WAY cooler and so much worse

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lumienn · 5 months

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Remember when I said I was struggling not to ship William and Sherlock?

Yeah. I'm not struggling anymore. I'm fully on board (the chapter 31 effect lol)

#moriarty the patriot #free advice folks #if he travels 5 hours to visit you at your university #takes your math (MATH) exam #attends your math (MATH!!! worse- TRIGONOMETRY!!!) lecture #just so that he can make vague (flirty) threats about possibly knowing your true identity #solves a lil mystery on campus for you for free #all this just because the two of you promised last time you met to meet again #that is neither uninterested nor platonic.#also i saw that last panel #but that my friends is going into a reblog of this post #you know me #lume talks

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avirael · 22 days

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Stuck on Repeat

He wanted to scream.

To scream and to cry and to be anywhere but here. But the best A’viloh could do was try not to tremble and instead follow Rael‘s example, who - despite the fact of being shackled and pushed around - still maintained a certain stubborn grace. He wished he knew how they did that.

What exactly was going on? A‘viloh wasn’t sure of that yet and it would take a while for him to process all of this. Everything had happened so fast. Suddenly the sultana had gasped for air, her goblet falling to the ground along with herself, soaking the expensive carpet with its dark red content. While A‘viloh had only stared in shock, Rael had immediately jumped up and was by Nanamo‘s side only split seconds after she collapsed. The next moment there had been guards everywhere and also that mean Lalafell accusing them of regicide. They had barely been able to say anything before the guards had grabbed them both, checked them for weapons and tied up their hands.

Now, as the door in front of them opened, the soldier behind A‘viloh gave him a rough push. The miqo‘te winced and stumbled forward into the room filled with people, all eyes on him. He lost his balance and with his hands tied behind his back, he landed rather ungracefully on the hard, cold stone tiles. His head started to spin, his vision began to blur, his heart was racing. It was all just too much and also too late to stop the memories that had buried their ugly dark claws deep in his mind. Miserably he gasped for air.

Rael hadn’t fallen but still knelt down and leaned towards him, wanting to make sure he was alright. „A‘vi! Please stay calm. I’m trying to find a way to get us out of this…“, the viera managed to whisper before someone pulled them away.

A’viloh still struggled to sit up and at the same time tried desperately to see where Rael had gone, when someone grabbed one of his arms and a handful of his hair and yanked him into a kneeling position. He pressed his eyes shut and tried to breathe, tried to not let the fear and the memories overwhelm him, but a small whimper still made it past his lips. He fought against his own mind, racing and about to shut itself off from all of this.

„Stop it!“, Rael hissed angrily. What else than complain could they do with their hands tied behind their back. The brass blade turned his attention to the viera instead of A’viloh. „Shut up!“, the man growled and struck Rael across the face with the back of his hand. They gasped and when they looked up again a moment later, with a mix of shock and indignation on their face, their lower lip was split and bloody.

Ashamed A’viloh stared to the ground and tried to pretend that this wasn’t his fault while the voices and turmoil around him faded to the background. Instead his mind was filled with questions and fears. Would they be executed? Thrown in jail? What had happened to Nanamo? Would their friends at least get out of this with their lifes, if Rael and him were made responsible?

Suddenly something touched his shoulder and pulled him out of his thoughts. A’viloh gave an alarmed shriek.

„Shhh!“, Rael shushed him, leaning their shoulder against his. Worried they glanced at him. „You were gone for a moment weren’t you?“ A’viloh didn’t answer but that wasn’t necessary. Rael sighed deeply. „Give me your hands. Maybe I can loosen the knots…“

Working behind their backs Rael tried their best but it was impossible. The angle was bad, they didn’t see what they were doing and the knots were simply too tight. On their own the two of them would never make it out of their ties. “Seven hells!”, Rael cursed. “I would sooner chew through these things than get that knot open!”

It was a funny imagination and under different circumstances A’viloh would maybe have laughed about it. Instead he turned to look at them and offered a sad smile. “It’s alright. At least you tried…I’m sorry about your lip.”

The viera looked surprised and then shook their head. “Don’t worry. I can fix that.”

Suddenly the turmoil around them got even worse. A’viloh only now noticed the screams and the fighting. “What’s happening?”

“Raubahn killed Adeledji. Tried to kill Lolorito too. Panic broke out and now he is fighting Ilberd. But I honestly don't think he has a chance...”

As if to confirm this, one of the giant stone pillars exploded under a heavy misaimed hit and through the cloud of dust and rubble Raubahn was hurled through the air and landed right beside them. With a swift movement of his blade he cut their ties and only then as he stood up, rubbing his wrists, A’viloh noticed that the Flame General was missing an arm.

But there was no time to question how that had happened and what else he might have missed while dissociating. Confidently as ever Raubahn spoke up saying that he never doubted them or the Scions and that they should flee. A’viloh was still to dazed to argue against that and so let Rael pull him along, to Minfilia and the others and then out of the palace.

As they hurried down the stairs of the Royal Promenade Thancred ran towards them and with a sudden peng of guilt A’viloh realised that he had been so shaken until now that he hadn’t even noticed yet that the Hyur hadn’t been with them. Thancred warned them that Lolorito’s soldiers had already taken control of all important points in the city and that it would be impossible to just walk out through the city gates. Luckily he offered another plan. Rumours about very old secret passages leading out of the city and luckily he knew how to get there.

But just as they wanted to leave the heavy steps and yells of the brass blades got closer.

“Go ahead! I’ll handle this!”, Yda exclaimed and turned towards the soldiers.

Papalymo made an incredulous face. “By yourself?! …I suppose I shall just have to join you.”

Rael offered to help them too. Papalymo and the viera could cause quite the destruction together that was certain but the thought of leaving any of them behind made A’viloh sick. There had to be a different way. One were all of them got out of here together.

“Don’t!”, he croaked and hated how his voice sounded a lot quieter and squeakier than he had intended. Had anybody heard him at all? But before he could say anything else or before Rael could join Yda and Papalymo, the Lalafell shot a fireball at the mechanism that held the palace gate open and with a roaring sound it crashed down and cut of the path between the two of them and the rest of the group. It would give them some time but neither Minfilia nor A’viloh seemed to be willing to leave without their friends. Helplessly and pleading the Miqo’te reached through the bars with one arm and stretched out a hand towards his friends. A’viloh and Yda had quickly befriended each other after meeting for the first time. They had spent a lot of time training together and Yda had soon become one of his dearest friends among the Scions. The thought that something could happen to her was unbearable for him. “Yda! Please!”

But the girl laughed at him and locked her fingers with his for a second. “Don’t worry, A’vi! We’ll see you later!” Confidently she smiled at him before she let go of his hand and turned back around to face the soldiers that had almost caught up to them.

The others called out for them and reluctantly Minfilia and A’viloh followed. There was nothing else they could do now apart from making Yda’ and Papalymo’s efforts worth it and get out of here before more soldiers appeared.

In a haste they ran through the decorated corridors of the palace district and luckily the entrance to the secret passage was exactly were Thancred had suspected it to be. The tunnels were bigger and more complex than A’viloh would have thought and for quite a while they ran through dusty old corridors trying to find the right way that would lead them out of the city.

After a while the echoes of yells and footsteps appeared again and unlike them their pusuers seemed to know the ways down here. They tried to hurry but in no time the voices were coming closer and closer.

“I will stop them.”, Y’shtola exclaimed and abruptly stood still, making everyone else pause for a moment as well. “You go on ahead!”

“No…”, A’viloh protested, he wasn’t willing to leave any more people behind. But Thancred nodded. “Then I will stay too! It would be rude to let you fight alone…”

“No! This is all wrong!”, A’vi repeated a little more loudly. “Let me and Rael fight them, we can defeat them surely.”

Y’shtola shook her head. “Not that many of them…” and Thancred agreed, “The two of you are far too important to get captured...” He didnt say or worse but it was clearly there.

“But…” A’viloh wanted to protest but what was there to say? So he just helplessly stared from one of them to the other. Instead Rael nodded. “Alright!”

“No! Nothing’s alright!”, A’viloh exclaimed pleadingly. „There has to be another way!“

“No, there isn’t.” Thancred said and put his hands on A’viloh’s shoulders. „Listen! There is no time. You have to get out of here, do you hear me? And you have to get Minfilia to safety. Look at me A’vi!“

He slightly shook him and despite the closeness between them A’vi did as he was told.

“Can you promise me that? To get yourself and Minfilia to safety?”, the Hyur asked with a serious voice.

Pleadingly A’vi stared at Thancred’s face wondering if it would be the last time he was going to see it. He hadn’t stopped shaking since Ilberd’s soldiers had put him in chains but now it got worse again. Nonetheless he nodded slightly.

“Good.“ Thancred said and nodded too, but hesitated to let go of him.

A strange expression appeared on his face, one A’viloh never had seen on him before. A mixture of doubt and maybe fear? Thancred sighed and muttered “Just in case…“ more to himself than anybody else but A’vi was close enough to hear it anyway.

A’viloh hadn’t expected at al what happened next. Before he even realised it, Thancred had leaned down, closed the gap between them and kissed him. He was too shocked to react, too confused as well, so he just let it happen. Weirdly this made him feel better but also hopelessly sad at the same time. What was he doing here? This was crazy! Maybe he would later curse himself for allowing this or he would wish he hadn’t wasted this moment like this but before he had figured out how to feel or to react the moment was over. Thancred pulled back a little and looked like he already regretted either what he did or simply having to let him go. Or maybe that was just how A'viloh felt himself. “Consider this my lucky charm…“, the hyur whispered, barely audible, and weakly smiled at him.

Then he pushed A’vi away, as gently as the urgency of the situation allowed, and spoke up louder to all of them.

„Now, get out of here!“

„No!“, the Miqo’te whimpered, his hands tried to hold on to Thancred’s arm but he ignored him and looked at Rael instead. „Get them out of here, please. I’m counting on you.“

The viera looked annoyed, more than usually, but nodded without a word and only when A’vi felt their hands at his arms pulling him away, he realised they were all still here watching him. At any other occasion he would have felt horribly embarrassed now but all he could think of right now was that he couldn’t leave all of his friends behind here to fight, and possibly die, while he fled to safety. He didn’t want to run any longer. But Rael seemed to share Thancred’s opinion.

“Come on, A’vi. We can’t waste time now. Every single soldier in this twelves-forsaken city is after us now, we can’t fight our way out of this. There’s no way to set this right if we don’t get out of here first.”, they explained as calmly as they could in this situation, then grabbed A’vi’s hand and dragged him along as they ran. A’viloh followed on stumbling feet but only because his body had long since stopped listening to anything his brain screamed at him. Stop! Go back! Fight!

Rael’s words made sense but still… weakly he tried to look back and see what was happening behind them but then Rael and Minfilia took a turn into another tunnel and he lost sight of Y’shtola and Thancred. For another while he just numbly let the viera pull him along until they abruptly stopped at an intersection.

“There is light! The exit must be right around that corner!”, Rael announced pointing to one of the tunnels.

Minfilia nodded. “I think so too. But I have somewhere else to go. Hydaelyn speaks to me, I have to stay behind but you two, you cannot stay with me.”

Rael shook their head: “We promised to protect you and I don’t plan to break that promise.”

Minfilia smiled kindly.

“I release you from this promise. Instead promise me to flee and clear our names for us! You are the only ones who can do this. I have a different task to fulfil. Please, you must go on! You are the Warriors of Light! You are hope - for the Scions, and for all the realm! As long as your flame continues to burn, the light of the dawn may ever be relit! You must escape, and save Eorzea from those who would plunge it into darkness! This is the only way...”

Rael grimaced but nodded. “Fine…”

A’viloh on the other hand just weakly shook his head. Words had long failed him and with every minute all of this felt more and more like it was happening to someone else and not him. Like all of this couldn’t be real. Like it was a horrible, weird dream that he would wake up from every second now! How had everything escalated so fast?

Minfilia saw his expression and put her arms around him in a tight hug. “Don’t blame yourself for this, A’vi. None of this is your fault. Everything will be alright, I promise.“

Then she ran in the opposite direction and all A’viloh could do was watch her vanish in the maze of tunnels.

After a few seconds Rael took his hand again and A’vi snapped back to attention watching the Viera’s free hand point towards the light. “Let’s go, the exit is right there.”

But A’viloh refused, even if his voice was nothing but a weak whisper. “No, please go alone. I’ll follow Minfilia. Someone has to protect her.”

Rael growled. “Were you listening at all? Do you want all of this to be in vain? I know this is difficult for you, but so it is for me!“

“But-“, A’viloh tried to protest but Rael looked like they almost wanted to hit him and angrily yelled at him. “I want you to be safe too, you know?! I would gladly stay behind and fight if it meant you and the other’s were safe but the best we can do now is run!”

Before A’vi could say anything else a deafening crash sounded through the tunnels. Alarmed they both stared back the way they came. The walls and the floor seemed to tremble and a roaring sound echoed down the tunnel and came closer and closer.

“Oh no!”, Rael gasped. “The ceiling is coming down! We have to get out of here! Now!”

“The ceiling?!”, A’vi shrieked. “But what of the others? We need to — Let go of me!!”, he protested as Rael tried to drag him out of the tunnel.

“It’s too late now, A’vi. Please!”, the viera pleaded but A’vi struggled and screamed. They almost wouldn’t have made it out in time. Just as the cloud of dust and rubble hit the protective barrier Rael had summoned up to shield them they were catapulted backwards by a burst of magic the last few meters out of the ruins and into the late afternoon sun.

Both of them coughed from the dust and it took a moment until they could see anything again. The entrance to the tunnels had collapsed entirely, lots of small and bigger pieces of stones lay in a huge pile in front of what was barely recognisable as the tunnel entrance anymore.

Shocked A’vi stared at the rubble for a few seconds before he began to scream again. Quickly he jumped up and tried to get the stones out of his way, to find a way back in, but of course it was hopeless. The old broken stones were too many and too heavy for him. They wouldn't give in to his pleading. "No! Please, no..."

As calm and soothing as they could Rael took his hands and spoke to him. “A’vi. Not now. There’s nothing we can do now…”

Slowly he let Rael turn him around. He looked at the viera, his eyes filled with tears, before he wordlessly threw his arms around the Rael‘s neck. „I‘m so sorry…“

Rael shook their head. „Not your fault…“

A’viloh didn’t answer to that. Instead he sullenly looked at Rael for a moment before he dared to ask, „Do you think they are dead.“

Rael sighed and then grimaced. „I’m not gonna lie to you, A’vi. I honestly don’t know, but it really doesn’t look good…“

The Miqo’te just nodded weakly, the corner of his mouth twitching for a second. He appreciated the honesty but he had hoped for something a little more reassuring.

Rael carefully squeezed his shoulder. „But maybe they aren’t. We will figure that out, I promise. But first we have to proof that we did NOT kill Nanamo... We should really go now…“

„Thank you. I would be lost without you…“, A’viloh muttered and followed Rael along the railroads leading towards Blackbrush station, defeated and disheartened. Silently he wondered if there was a safe place now for them at all and how they possibly could manage to clear their names…

#ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv writing #ff14 screenshots #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv gpose #gpose #Aviloh Tia #Rael Hyskaris #good luck if you decide to read all this rambling! 🙈#I’ve been rewriting this thing over and over for weeks now!#or probably months even...#I was unsure how obviously I can make this a mirror of A’vi’s past without making it seem like he didn’t evolve at all #He’s clearly out of his mind here but if he wasn’t I’m sure there wouldn’t be a way to keep him from fighting alongside the others.#And then there’s the kiss! What was I thinking?!#Apart from the fact that I can’t write stuff like this I mean...#I was so unsure if I wanted it to happen like this but in the end I came to the conclusion that this would probably be very in-character.#It’s not romantic because how would it possibly be?#I imagine this is just another stupid overly dramatic ARR-Thancred thing!#He does this with good intentions but in reality it makes things worse than better... oops!#It is what it is is now! I don't know how to write this bastard and it shows haha...#I don’t even know where I’m going with this. tbh I just hope I can make sense of this along the way 😂#the pictures have the prettiest outfit I have for A’vi. maybe ther would have been something more fitting but I forgot to look up options🙈#Imagine Rael braided his hair a little more fancy than here. maybe with flowers or jewels.#just imagine he looks really insanely pretty alright? 🥰#but he also feels very weak and defenceless here without any armor or weapon to protect himself #please also imagine Rael in these pictures 🙈#HW will be more about Rael I promise! 😅

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