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#as his caretaker as an adult in his life on EVERY level

metalandmagi · 9 months

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Romance Anime Starter List

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick and tired of seeing “Top ___ Best Anime of All Time” lists that are nothing but shounen. So, with "My Happy Marriage" getting a little attention from the anime community, I wanted to put together a list of some romance anime that I consider good “starters” for the genre. Because if I were just now becoming an anime fan, I’d think all there was to offer was shounen action series.

And by “starters” I mean basic stuff that’s not too…out there, and actually involves the characters getting together instead of just harems or using romance as a side plot (sorry Ouran High School Host Club and My Next Life as a Villainess).

So if you’re new to anime and want stuff that’s not just guys beating the shit out of each other (which is also fun, don’t get me wrong), here are some basics.

Taisho Maiden Fairy Tale- When the pessimistic Tamahiko Shima loses all function in his right arm, his family sends him away to live in the mountains with the cheerful, hard working Yuzuki Tachibana…who was purchased by the Shima family to pay off her family’s debts and basically act as a caretaker/future bride for Tamahiko so they’d never have to deal with him again. It’s a more cheerful version of My Happy Marriage (without the supernatural stuff), except in this one, the guy is the one who has massive self-esteem issues and an abusive family. There are still very serious themes, but ultimately it’s not meant to make you cry every episode. I swear it’s so good, but nobody watched it!

Horimiya- A slice of life in which pretty and popular high school queen bee Hori, finds out her quiet, unassuming classmate Miyamura is hiding piercings and tattoos that could get him expelled. The two gradually find out more about each other and get together in the most realistic way I’ve seen depicted in an anime. It’s also fucking hysterical and genuinely emotional.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie- Another slice of life that focuses on two adults who meet in an MMO game without realizing they also know each other in real life. I don’t want to say much more than that. It’s adorable, and the main character is so relatable it hurts.

Love with Yamada-kun at Level 999- Speaking of MMOs, this is a newer series about Akane Kinoshita, a college first year who’s reeling from a bad break up. In an attempt to get back at her ex, she winds up meeting Akito Yamada, a popular gamer who happens to be in her guild in the MMO they both play at an IRL meetup. The two go from acquaintances to something more as they keep running into each other. Even more relatable main characters and just wholesome relationships all around.

Snow White With The Red Hair- A fantasy in which an apothecary named Shirayuki (meaning, you guessed it, “snow white”) runs away from her home in order to escape becoming the concubine of her town’s prince. While fleeing, she is rescued by Zen, the prince of a neighboring country, and she ends up becoming an herbalist to repay him. It's super cute with some genuinely swoon worthy moments and a couple that just works so well together. I have a habit of comparing this to Akatsuki no Yona, even though the two aren’t really that alike. This is more romance driven while Akatsuki no Yona is more of a serious historical fantasy with romance elements (Yona manga is amazing, but the anime barely scratches the surface, so that’s why I didn’t include it).

Sasaki to Miyano- When the shy, easily flustered Miyano meets Sasaki, a cool “delinquent” upperclassmen, the two end up bonding over manga…specifically BL manga. That’s right, Miyano is a fudanshi, but due to his small stature and somewhat feminine appearance, he’s constantly trying to convince others that he’s not interested in having his own love story where he’d be reduced to a stereotypical doe-eyed uke. But as Sasaki and Miyano spend more time together, they realize that what they have is more than friendship, and they have to come to terms with their own perception of gay relationships. This is my favorite romance of all time. It’s a slow burn, but boy is it worth it. Their relationship is so natural and realistic, just like Horimiya. Just two people hanging out and bonding over things the way people do in real life!

Given: The story of some boys in a band with trauma. Enough said. It's great. Go watch it.

Bloom Into You- Yuu Koito is a high school girl who’s been waiting her whole life for her own perfect romance to start…but when she receives a confession, she realizes she doesn’t know how to respond when she’s just not into the guy. And then she gets another confession…this time from the cool student council president Touko Nanami, who basically jumpstarts her lesbian awakening. Very cute story about how we perceive the concept of love vs actually feeling it. Also has a canonically aro/ace side character, so that’s a win for me. Another show like this is Adachi to Shimamura (but I honestly don’t remember much about it. It just didn’t stick with me as much).

Ore Monogatari- Takeo Gouda is a tall, bulky high school first year with a sensitive heart of gold. He wants nothing more than to find his own true love, but most girls are intimidated by his enormous stature, and they end up falling for his conventionally attractive friend instead. That is, until he meets the tiny, adorable Rinko Yamato. He falls in love instantly, but he’s sure she’s interested in his best friend like everyone else, so he vows to help get them together, even though his heart is breaking. Peak himbo behavior. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.

Yuri on Ice- Yes it’s the gay figure skating anime everyone knows. And yes it’s a fucking romance, okay? I will die on this hill. The romance between Viktor and Yuri is just as important as the plot!

Kaguya-sama Love Is War- Two insanely smart high school students both have a crush on the other, but since they’re…you know…high schoolers, neither of them wants to admit it first. So they come up with increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess first. This will go down as one of the best of all time. It’s a hilarious yet poignant modern classic.

Fruits Basket- I’ve talked about it before and I’ll talk about it again. A romance “comedy” that slowly morphs into a drama about a girl named Tohru who finds herself living with the mysterious Sohma family after her mother dies. Little does she know, the Sohmas are the victims of a (somewhat silly, but ultimately tragic) curse that she must fight to break. Even though I’m more into it for the family drama, the romance is still top tier and plays an important role in the story. This is my second favorite anime of all time, and it’s a classic for a reason. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet, GO WATCH IT! IT WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!

And now for some honorable mentions that didn't quite fit into the regular list:

Ride Your Wave- A movie about a surfer who falls in love with a firefighter……and I’m not going to say any more than that. Go into it blind. If you like stuff like Your Name, this is a good one to watch.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun- A comedy about a high school girl who finds out the upperclassman she has a crush on is actually a shoujo manga artist, and no matter how she tries to confess to him, he just never gets it.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague- A slow burn slice of life that focuses on a guy with ice powers who has a crush on his coworker. That’s it. That’s the show. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. It’s perfectly cute and fluffy, but my god does it take forever to get anywhere with these two.

Skip to Loafer- A high strung, small town girl decides to go to high school in Tokyo, where she meets a variety of classmates, including the laid back Sousuke Shima. The unlikely pair become friends, and soon enough, she starts to feel something more than friendship. The only reason I didn’t include it in the main list is because they don’t get together by the end of the first season, but it’s still really cute (also canonically trans character for the win!?)

So that’s my starter list. And no, I didn’t include Toradora, even though it’s a classic. I know it’s blasphemous, but I like it more as a comedy than a romance. It kinda lost me with the ending. But anyway, maybe someone will find something they like. Or maybe you'll just want to roast me and my picks 😅

#yuri on ice #kaguya sama: love is war #fruits basket #ore monogatari #bloom into you #sasaki to miyano #snow white with the red hair #yamada kun to lv999 no koi wo suru #horimiya #recovery of an mmo junkie #taisho maiden fairy tale #skip to loafer #unfortunately not much bl or gl since a lot that I've seen is too...out there for this list...#now bl manga on the other hand...#why did i make this lol?#because i finally got to the confession scene in akatsuki no yona of course and now i'm dead #I kinda want to include doukyuusei too but it's just a little bit steamier than what I was going for with this 😅

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lurkingshan · 1 month

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Unknown Episode 5

Oh, Yuan. Your yearning is palpable through the screen, other people in the story are starting to notice, and I can feel the pain coming.

This show is building spectacularly. I feel like I'm with Yuan as his feelings become more and more uncontrollable, with Qian feeding them unknowingly at every turn. One thing the novel did so well, and that the show is pulling off too, is showing us that Qian also feels differently about Yuan than he does about other people, even if it's mostly on a subconscious level and he would deny it if you asked. He listens to him and worries about him in a way he doesn't anyone else, and he is attuned to his feelings even if he can't always articulate why. And everyone around him can see it. Lili has long accepted that this is just the way her brothers are with each other. The office ladies (fujoshis all, as it turns out) have clicked into their dynamic.

And San Pang is actively worried and starting to interfere in their relationship, because he can see two things clearly: 1) Yuan definitely likes Qian; 2) Qian seems to feel something for him in return even if he is not aware of it. I don't think San Pang would bother to interfere if he thought Yuan's feelings were truly hopeless. It's because he can see the way Qian unconsciously relies on and returns Yuan's affections that he's worried.

I like the way the show adapted this plot line from the book. Like many things in the story, they have softened the tone of it (San Pang was a lot more homophobic about it in the novel), and San Pang in general is pretty different here. In the book he's unattractive and loud and brash, while here he's so dreamy that Lili has a crush. But it's understandable that he would be uncomfortable with the idea of Qian and Yuan's relationship becoming romantic; he has grown up with them as brothers, too, and it's an idea he just can't reconcile with how he thinks of them. Attempting to redirect Qian's attention to a "more appropriate" love interest is a logical move, and one I can forgive him for, even though it's bound to fail. I'll be curious to see what exactly he says to Yuan next week.

As for Yuan, I just feel so much for him. His feelings are leaking out at every turn; he has entirely lost his ability to mask it. I was glad he got to come out to Qian, be accepted (after some token resistance), and at least clear this one hurdle in their relationship, but you can feel his frustration at still being too young to approach Qian in the way he wants (reminder that despite what the subs claim, he is still calling him ge, not using his name when they speak). Yuan is still in school and has other obligations and important life milestones to meet before he can come to Qian as an adult partner. Having to leave for things like training camp makes him unhappy when he just wants to be around to take care of Qian. I found the office workers filling in for him on Qian caretaker duty quite sweet, and I do think Qian loves the way Yuan dotes on him even as he pretends not to need it.

I am anticipating and dreading the inevitable implosion when Qian is no longer able to ignore Yuan's feelings and consequently has to confront his own. Next week is going to be painful for both of them.

#unknown the series #taiwanese bl #shan shouts into the void

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br1ghtestlight · 6 months

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does anybody want to hear me analyze zeke and tina's relationship in my fanfic. too bad ur getting it anyway

there are SOME things i cant say bcuz spoilers but in my head zeke staying with tina during his worst moments and trusting her with his emotional vunerability makes sense because he considers her a friend and they're part of the same group but they arent CLOSE friends. they don't usually hang out together one on one and jimmy jr is clearly who zeke considers to be his best friend. he's scared of being vunerable with people he trusts, disappointing them or letting them down and ruining that relationship etc but because he doesn't have a very strong foundation with tina (while not being a TOTAL stranger) she feels safe to him to be open around. it also helps that she already had a negative opinion of him before so he isnt exactly worried about her hating him?? like they're sorta been there done that

and because tina doesn't view zeke as a romantic interest but DOES consider him a friend its easy to be playful and relaxed around him. she isn't nervous or analyzing her every move and she can playfully tease him knowing that their relationship was previously pretty negative but they both like each other now. there's a level of trust there KNOWING they've already seen each other at their worst, that tina was already pretty terrible to zeke and that zeke didnt have a very strong bond with her and laughed behind her back, that allows for more honest communication with each other and a healthier friendship while not making EVERYTHING about the Bad Stuff going on and still being allowed to play around together. tina feels confident around zeke and likes spending time with him without feeling pressured about their relationship, opening up to him in a way that she hasn't with jimmy jr or other boys she likes

zeke very intentionally is more nervous and insecure around the adults who try to help him or talk to him because most of his trauma comes from his relationship with adults and unfair punishment. he's SCARED of bob and linda bcuz he doesnt know if he can trust them, but he has a stronger relationship with tina gene & louise because he's spent more time with them and they're around his own age. he's obviously the closest with tina. his relationship with jimmy jr is complicated because they both keep things from each other and dont Communicate due to not wanting their friendship to change but there's love there and they'll work it out over time

zeke needs more healthy relationships in his life with adults who aren't trying to punish him or talk down to him in some way. he needs an adult who can PROVE that they're worthy of his trust bcuz while he has strong connections with his peers that isnt really going to help him in the long run. he has his grandma but because of her poor health their relationship involves him being more of a caretaker to her than the other way around and he doesnt feel comfortable talking about these things :( poor kiddo

#if this is all character analysis i did for a bobs burgers fanfiction imagine what my object oc document looks like 😭#its longer than the Holy Bible #txt #bob's burgers

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dattebae · 2 years

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TMG: Finding Cain (Ch. 1)

CHAPTERS: [1], [2]

(AO3 LINK)

Pairing: RK900 (Nines)/Female Reader

Word count: 9644

Rating: Explicit ( 18+ )

Warnings: Undercover antics, murder, mentions of drugs, prostitution, Nines struggling to feel nothing, NSFW

Note: So you guys were curious about Nines? Rightfully so. I had to write him his own little fic. I had to. P.S happy birthday! @cerberusdreams

Cain learned from a very young age that any successful project begins with a well structured plan. The reason he believed in that concept was simple: He was a breathing, living project himself, and his impeccable record was proof of how effective that construction was.

He’d only been four years old when he realized that he was different from his brothers and the rest of the kids at the orphanage. One day he’d found a chess board tucked away in the playroom, and he’d spent the whole day trying to figure it out. There was something incredibly interesting about a battle being fought within the barriers of rules, and Cain was quickly gathering victories after one of the caretakers taught him the game.

He could understand why the adults around him were so hesitant about what to do with him at that time. They spent their days teaching troubled kids how to think and behave, so when Cain did all of those things to perfection and even surpassed many with his outstanding intellect, they were a little lost.

Despite his sharp memory, Cain could never really pinpoint when he met Amanda. The CIA somehow eased into his life in such a natural way that he barely noticed them. Amanda had always been around for as long as he could remember, and Cain’s one on one sessions with her became his normal early on. The older woman would observe him throughout various IQ tests adjusted to his level, and then she’d discuss them with him.

She wanted to know everything about his thought process, and the cognitive aspects of them as well.

At his young age, Amanda was never humble about praising him. She knew that confidence was an essential factor that would push him to do better, which seemed to be quite effective. The CIA were scouting for a new weapon: a genius with the strength of a beast, and Cain happened to be their perfect candidate. They had constructed a flawless plan out for him, and it would stretch over the course of his life.

“ Do you like to play games? ” Amanda asked.

The space they were in looked like an interrogation room for suspects, but Cain had never been scared of her or the dark, metallic interior. On the contrary, Amanda had taught him that room was the place where he got rewarded for his good behavior and cooperation. It was the place where he didn’t have to worry about his brothers or the rest of the world.

“ I like to play chess. ” Cain responded.

He’d only been five years old, and his feet couldn’t reach the floor as he sat on the cold, hard chair. Amanda was sitting across from him by the table, and she gave him a smile.

“ Chess is good, ” She said, “ But today I would like to play a new game with you, Cain. ”

Cain tilted his head, blinking.

A new game?

“ Would you like to play with me? ” Amanda calmly asked.

“ I don’t know, ” Cain began, “ You haven’t told me the rules yet. ”

Amanda clasped her hands together over the table, giving him a gentle smile. So far, Cain had checked every box on her list, and this little game they were going to play together would have an impact on the rest of his life.

“ The game is simple, ” Amanda began. “ I want you to play as a boy named Richard. ”

Logically, Cain could understand what she was saying. What he couldn’t grasp was the meaning or purpose of Richard.

“ Richard is a nice boy. He lives with his brothers, he exercises regularly, goes to school and does his homework every night. He’s also respectful towards those who are older than him, and he cares deeply for those he loves. ” she explained.

Cain nodded. That sounded easy enough.

“ Now, ” Amanda said, “ The only rule you have to remember is that no one but me can know that you are playing Richard. ”

Cain tilted his head again, but this time he felt a little unsure.

“ What if someone finds out? ”

Amanda studies him for a moment, a devious smile lingering on her lips.

“ Then you lose the game. ”

***

The CIA was prepared for most things, but a certain police lieutenant’s interest in Richard and his two brothers was not one of them. Hank was a stubborn man, and once he put his mind into something, it was hard to deter him. Amanda had been patient with him despite his insistent reasoning that the brothers should stick together in adoption, and after a meeting that stretched out over several hours, they finally came to an agreement. The CIA would allow Hank to adopt Richard along with his brothers under one condition: They would proceed their work with him as usual, and Hank wouldn’t interfere.

At first, Richard didn’t have much of an opinion when it came to Hank. He was a man with a strong presence, and he seemed to be driven by what he found to be right. With that said, Richard realized that the man was just as much a child at heart as he was a loyal cop. He began to find an odd intrigue in the lieutenant’s personality, and the way he managed to balance his duty with his private life. He seemed to be giving each son a treatment adjusted to their needs, which, in Richard’s own analysis, meant that the older man was both observant and dedicated.

Connor got used to him the easiest, and Sixty became dependent on his attention fairly quickly. Richard didn’t quite understand it. His brothers were too comfortable around the older man while he spent most of his time up on his bunk bed, observing everything from a safe distance. Most of it was Sixty and Connor’s normal banter and arguments over petty things, but Hank always managed to put an end to them. What surprised Richard the most was that Hank never forgot about him, despite his discreet presence.

Hank would look up at him up on the bunk bed and ask him if he was okay. He’d ask Richard if he wanted to help him prepare dinner or join him for a walk with Sumo. Despite knowing fully well that Hank’s approach was merely a tactic to bond with him, Richard was somehow still impacted by his effort. The adults in his life had mostly seen him as an experiment: a wonderchild that was meant to be tested and pushed to new limits. But not Hank.

Hank saw a little boy, a son that he wanted to get to know and look out for, and it took Richard some time before he could see himself as those things. There was a sense of vulnerability that Richard felt around Hank, and it had everything to do with his secret. Hank knew about Cain and Amanda’s little game with him, and it made him feel exposed in an unsettling way.

“ Listen, I uh.. ” Hank struggled a little, but his awkward conversation starters were somehow still endearing years later. “ I don’t mean to be the guy who’s all up in your business, but it’s a Friday night and you’re reading about…math? ”

Connor was away on a class trip in Washington, and Sixty had gone out to a party with Leo and his friends, which left Richard all alone with Hank and Sumo at home. He’d been in his usual spot up on the bunk bed with his nose buried in a book, and Hank had somehow decided to confront him about his obvious lack of a social life.

“ Yes. ” Richard simply said, turning a page. The book he was reading was focused on advanced algebra, and even though he’d already solved the problems twice over the past two weeks, he figured a third time wouldn’t hurt. Amanda had a new test ready for him on the upcoming Monday, and he really wanted to impress her.

Out of all the possible scenarios, Richard didn’t expect Hank to suddenly snatch the book from his hands. He looked down at the older man, who stared up at him with a surprisingly serious look. Richard sat up, brow furrowing at the lieutenant.

“ Is there a problem, Lieutenant? ” He asked.

“ I’m worried about you, kid. ” Hank said, and Richard only felt more confused by his response.

“ Worried about me? ” He echoed, feeling the wheels behind his eyes working harder and harder. “ What have I done to worry you, Sir? ”

Hank rolled his eyes, grumbling something under his breath as he tossed the book aside. When he met Richard’s gaze again, there was something stern and tired in his eyes.

“ I told you to call me Hank. ” He said, “ Not Sir, or Lieutenant, or any other CIA crap they’ve drilled into your head. ”

Richard couldn’t make sense of Hank’s reaction. Amanda had always taught him to refer to his elders with respect and their proper titles, but Hank didn’t seem to appreciate it in the same way.

“ I’m… sorry. ” Richard finally murmured after some time. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but to feel guilty about upsetting Hank.

Hank sighed, shaking his head. He observed the younger boy for some time, who seemed to be avoiding the older man’s eyes on him. He walked closer to the bed, reaching up to grip the wooden frame, leaning against it.

“ Look, son. I’m not upset with you because you read books or because you call me Sir, ” Hank started. Richard glanced at him, unsure where he was going with this.

“ It’s just that- You’re eleven years old, and sometimes I feel like you forget that. ” Richard was in a silent disagreement. He knew very well how old he was, but he allowed Hank to proceed.

“ And no, I don’t mean that literally. Hell, I don’t think you’d forget something even if you tried to. ” Hank chuckled, and Richard couldn’t help a small curl from creeping up his lips. It was from that point forward that he realized Hank’s speech pattern wasn’t as literal as Amanda’s. The older man seemed to play with words differently, and they meant more than what he let on.

“ This …gift you have, ” Hank proceeded, gesturing to him vaguely. Richard was fully looking at him at point, sitting on the bed with his arms loosely hugging around his knees.

“ Is it a bad thing? ” Richard quietly asked, and Hank was quick to shake his head.

“ No, not at all. You have so many possibilities to use it for good. Which, I have no doubt you will. ” Hank smiled at him then, and Richard felt something flutter inside his chest.

He could suddenly understand why Hank didn’t like the formal names. He wanted Richard to see him as a dad, not just another adult. Although he had Amanda as some parental firgure in his life, it just felt different with Hank. It felt more organic and less…calculated.

“ I just don’t want you to lose yourself to it along the way. ” Hank said, and Richard’s small smile faltered at his words. His brow furrowed briefly, and he decided to share his confusion: “ I’m not sure what that means, Hank. ”

Hank.

The older man seemed pleased for a brief second.

Richard watched as Hank contemplated for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain his thoughts in a way that Richard would understand. The younger boy observed him intently, like Hank held the answers to problems more complex than advanced algebra.

“ It means that, sometimes in life, you have to listen to this… ” Hank reached two fingers to the left side of Richard’s chest, giving it a gentle tap. “ …before you listen to this. ”

His fingers moved to Richard’s temple, giving it a second tap. The younger boy’s brow furrowed as he began to think, and he fell mute under his thoughts. Richard had already realized that Hank’s way of communicating was different to Amanda, but his words still managed to reach deep into his heart.

“ Don’t forget who you are, Cain. ”

***

MOSCOW, 00:32 AM

PRESENT DAY

Richard drew a deep, cool breath into his lungs. At that moment, he tried to forget everything about who he was.

Contrary to most beliefs, the hardest part about being a spy wasn’t finding a loophole into the underground world, but passing through the gates without blowing his cover. Richard had worked in the field for many years, but this particular scene wasn’t exactly his forte. It was a cold night, and he was standing in a short queue to enter one of the dirtiest strip clubs in Moscow.

Eden club.

The neon lights were glowing in the darkness, and despite the sharp contrast, he could still see the two giants guarding the door like a pair of bulldogs on night watch. He’d arrived in a dark car and been escorted to the queue by his assistant, Rupert, who worked as an undercover chauffeur in the city. The guards had already gotten a man dragged away a few minutes earlier, but it still hadn’t deterred Richard from pursuing his mission.

Not that it was up for discussion, anyway. Amanda had been clear with her orders: He was sent there at the last minute to find you because your partner, Luther, had vanished into thin air, which meant that whatever operation you had going on was delayed, and therefore at risk of failing. Richard specialized in counter terrorism operations, and even though most of his work settled around Africa and the middle east, his Russian was still so exceptional that no one could tell that it wasn’t his native language. He knew that Amanda didn’t want him out on these kinds of missions, but he was one of her best, and whatever situation you’d been left in was becoming critically bad. There was no one more suitable to get you out of there.

When he reached the guards at the door, they scanned him from head to toe. Richard wore an attire consisting of a massive fur coat over a crisp, black suit to appear as a rich mafia boss’ heir, and he made sure his arrogance and sense of entitlement was just as clear as he dragged his bored gaze between the massive duo with a large cigar between his lips. They glanced at each other for a second, and then asked for his name.

Richard looked at them like they were fools, and they stiffened under his bored, icy gaze.

Good.

“ I was hoping you weren’t as dumb as you looked, ” he said, vaguely pointing his cigar at them between a long drag.

“ You’re lucky I’m in a good mood tonight, but next time, don’t make a Zakharov wait. ” His Russian was impeccable, and he could see that he’d won them over when they blinked in surprise.

Everyone and their mothers knew the Zakharovs were dangerous, and Richard hoped the rumor of his supposed visit wouldn’t spread before he found you. A calm man in his supposed position of power meant nothing but trouble, and the two guards seemed to catch on fairly quickly. They shared another glance at each other before stepping aside and welcoming him into the narrow hall, not even bothering to search him as they blabbered their apologies.

Richard flicked his cigar to the ground and crushed it with the heel of his shoe. He then sent the duo a lingering glare as he passed the door and walked down the glowing hall, leading him into the heart of the club.

The large space he found was nothing like the outside of the club. Richard was surprised to find it fairly neat and clean, despite the loud music and chatter. The club had various circle booths scattered around the main stage, and several bars surrounding the area. Most of the light came from the pink and red neons decorating the main stage, and rest were blues and purples from the bar counters. It was important that he kept his supposed persona while he scanned each nook and cranny of the club, so he snapped his fingers and tried his best to look annoyed at one of the staff members, who quickly came to his service.

“ Welcome, sir. ” The man said, “ Please, allow me to find you a booth.”

Richard gave him a low, raspy hum, his icy orbs memorizing every face he could see in the poor light. It was clear that the purpose was to keep the guests discreet and comfortable in the shadows, which only meant that this club had the most notorious criminals and gangsters as their guests.

“ I want a spot by the stage, ” Richard said. “ I heard Yasmina Petrov is performing tonight. ” Richard knew that Jasmine was your cover name, and no matter where you were in the world, you always stuck to a variant of it. It was the same for him, and his versions of Richard.

The staff member smirked, gesturing towards the stage as he spoke. “ After you, Sir. ”

***

Fifteen minutes later, he’d been served a tall, strong drink by his spot in one of the booths closest to the main stage. He did his best to appear bored, dragging his blue eyes over the glowing neons and attempting to capture more faces from the booths nearby. He didn’t pay any mind to the slow music booming from the speakers until the neon lights faded into darkness, and the low cheers from the guests signaled him that the show was starting. His focus shifted to the stage, and your dark silhouette by the pole captured his attention immediately.

Richard didn’t expect to be so entranced by your act, but somehow he got lost in the smooth way your body moved against the pole. When the neons finally landed on you, whistles and applause erupted from the guests. His face was still stoic and controlled, and even though he’d seen exotic dancers in his time on the field, something about you still put him on edge.

There was no doubt that the crowd loved your performance, although, Richard knew that most of the men lurking in the shadows were waiting to see you in that poor excuse of an attire they’d put you in. You wore a red, lacy thong and a matching bra that barely covered your chest as you moved down the pole in a pair of high heels, legs spreading wide and-

Jesus Christ.

He tore his eyes away from you and reached for his drink. This was ridiculous. You were both professional agents, and he was getting uncomfortable because of a simple performance?

It was unacceptable. It was below him.

You still hadn’t noticed him minutes into your performance, and Richard told himself that he kept his eyes on you solely for that reason. Even as more women joined the stage and found their respective poles to dance on, he still waited for you to find him, and finally (hopefully) end his supposed torture of watching you dance so provocatively before him.

He told himself that his reaction was a side-effect of knowing you from the past. You’d both been in the same selection process during your early twenties, and Richard remembered it like it was yesterday.

There’d been a hundred of you, and each month after various obstacle courses and performance tests, they’d kicked a portion out of the team. It’d taken a total of eleven months before they’d finally selected the last ten to become their new agents. It had in no way or shape been easy, but even knowing that, Richard couldn’t understand how you’d managed to get selected.

He knew why they’d selected him and Luther: Richard had his intelligence and speed, and Luther had strength and patience. But you? He’d seen you crawling and crying in the mud as you dragged yourself through the obstacle course, and he remembered how the superior had given you hell for it. Despite it all, you never gave in. You never stopped until you passed the finish line, and it made him feel…something.

On paper, he knew what your advantages were, and they weren't a lot. You had a list of languages you’d mastered in your days, and a decent background in the military, but that wasn’t enough to make you a good agent. Not to Richard’s standards, at least. To him, you were too impulsive and emotional to fit the role. CIA agents were meant to keep their feelings in check and accept any situation they were in, and you were driven by something that made you the complete opposite of that. Richard didn’t know how, but somehow, the agency had seen something more in you. Granted, he hadn’t seen you since the selection day, so, maybe he’d be pleasantly surprised by your progress over the years.

Maybe.

You were crawling on the stage now, swaying your body along to the music until you reached the edge. When you whipped your head back, your eyes finally found his, and you suddenly stilled. Richard knew that you recognised him immediately, and it was clear that you weren’t pleased to find him before you. He was comfortably manspreading in his booth with his eyes fixed on yours like you were his target of the night, which, technically, you were.

Richard angled his head to the side, eyes narrowing as he studied you. He was silently scolding you for dropping your act so recklessly, and it seemed to snap you back into character pretty fast. He didn’t know why, but it made his lips curl to a faint smirk.

So you hadn’t changed, after all.

The girls were starting to trail down the stage and dancing their way over to the guests in the booths, and you were no different. Richard watched as you crawled over him at his booth, dancing over him as you brought your face close to his own. This was the first time he’d seen you upclose like this, and some part of him couldn’t help but to realize that you were…attractive.

“ What the fuck are you doing here? ” You hissed, breaking his small trance.

“ I’ve been ordered to take you out of here. ” He said, keeping his cold eyes fixed on yours. You shot a wary glance to your side, and he followed your eyes, finding a figure observing the two of you in the darkness. Before Richard could react, you were twisting your body around, sitting in his lap as you grinded against him. Your hands reached back, and you trailed your fingers through his hair while his mouth brushed over the shell of your ear.

“ Who was that? ” he murmured in your ear.

“ Tell them you want a private dance, ” you said, “ and be generous. ”

Before Richard could respond, you were already away to entertain another man sitting in a booth nearby.

And when he looked for the dark figure again, it was gone.

***

Getting some privacy at Eden Club was surprisingly easier than what Richard expected. It certainly came at a hefty price, but money was the least of his problems. He’d done what you’d told him to and requested a private dance with you to the staff member that had served him for the night. With a few bills tucked into the man’s shirt, Richard managed to get himself escorted to a room located down a narrow hall in the club. It was decorated with a surprisingly minimalistic interior despite its size, and something told him the luxury decor and the naughty red light had a lot to do with the money he’d spent.

After twenty minutes, you were finally escorted inside by the staff member, and he noticed that you looked a little nervous. It was unclear to him whether it was a part of your act, or if you had trouble hiding your anxiety.

“ I’ll pick her up in twenty minutes. I hope you enjoy your time, Sir. ” The worker said with a polite smile.

Richard gave him a lazy nod, leaning further into his seat as he spread an arm over the back, and the moment the staff member left the room, you rushed over to him, your worried expression turning into anger.

“ Do you have any idea what danger you’re putting me in right now!? ” you hissed, trying to keep your voice low despite your apparent fury.

“ Tell Amanda that I’ve got it all under control! I don’t need you here! ”

Richard was a little impressed. It seemed like the nervous look had been part of your act, after all. He shrugged the fur coat off his shoulders and stood from his seat, staring down at you through icy, lidded orbs. Despite your decent act, he was certainly not too impressed by your stubborn tendency to refuse orders.

“ Agent 851, your operation has been deemed unsuccessful and is therefore canceled. I’m here to assist you back to the Vancouver headquarters for debriefing.” Richard calmly explained.

You glared up at him for a long moment, and then you scoffed, looking utterly disappointed in his response. Richard didn’t react.

“ I’m not leaving until I find Luther. ” You said. “ And I sure as hell won’t cancel my mission after all the fucking shit I’ve had to endure in this hellhole. ”

He should’ve seen this coming. The impression Richard had gotten of you had been correct all along: You were too emotional and stubborn for this field of work, and this conversation was proof of that.

“ You will come back with me to Vancouver, ” he insisted, stepping closer to you. “ and you will report back to Amanda.”

He was practically towering over you at this point, but you refused to back down.

“ That is an order. ” he said, voice stern.

A beat of silence seemed to be enough to thicken the air with tension, but before either of you could argue further, a sudden noise caught Richard’s attention. At first, he thought it was a cry of pain, but the moment you tore your gaze away from him and crossed your arms over your chest, he understood. A woman was moaning on the other side of the wall, and for some reason, you looked ashamed about it.

“ These rooms aren’t just for private dances, are they? ” he asked, voice low as he dragged a cold gaze between you and the wall.

“ You have no idea what kind of hell this place really is… ” There was a subtle crack in your voice, but Richard caught it immediately. “ I have to put an end to it. I have to finish this mission even if it’s the last thing I do. ”

The reason he hadn’t taken a proper look at you before was clearly due to the lingerie you were wearing, but now that he did, he finally noticed the subtle marks and scars scattered over your body. Richard’s eyes narrowed as he focused on your skin. He found cigarette marks over your chest and bruises on your arms, hips and thighs. Despite knowing that it was another endurance of your job as an agent, something about it still made his blood boil. Not that he ever let that show, though.

“ You can’t. ” He said, tone firm but not quite as stern as before. “ I’m taking you out of here whether you like it or not. ”

You were about to retort when a noise outside the door caught both your attention. Richard was reaching for the gun at his hip, eyes hard and fixed on the door when your hands suddenly found his shoulders, guiding him back.

“ Don’t you fucking dare! ” You whispered harshly, quickly glancing back at the door before you decided to shove him down on the couch. He opened his mouth to speak, but you clasped your hand over it and climbed onto his lap, leaning close to meet his hard glare.

“ You’re not ruining my cover, Richard. ” You hissed, “ I won’t let you. ”

Another noise, sounding much like a footstep, came from outside the door, and before you could turn to inspect the source, a hand was wrapped around your throat. Richard shoved down on the couch, pinning you down against it. Your leg shot up in an attempt to kick him off, but he quickly grabbed your knee, blocking your attack.

“ This is your last chance. ” He growled. ” Don’t test me. ”

Richard wasn’t prepared for the crooked smirk that slowly formed on your lips, or the loud, pornographic moan you let out afterwards. The sound rippled through him like a shiver, and almost instantly, his whole body froze.

Your thighs were warm against his sides, and your chest was pressing up against him in a way that was becoming harder to ignore. It took him a few seconds, but he finally understood why you were doing this. Whoever was outside the door was listening to the two of you, and you wanted to give them the impression that you were being…intimate with each other.

It was all to protect your cover.

Richard tried to move back, but you locked your legs around his waist and pulled him closer with another moan.

“ Jasmine- ” He warned, but you reached out and jerked on his tie instead, loosening it around his neck as you pulled him down to crash your mouths together.

The door opened at the same moment, and the same staff member from earlier stepped in. He hesitated the second he saw the two of you on the couch, watching as you breathlessly parted from the kiss to stare at him.

“ I’m so sorry to interrupt but- ” he began a little awkwardly. Your legs were finally loosening around Richard’s waist, and he wasted no time to move back. Your lipstick was smeared over his lips, his hair was disheveled and his tie hung loosely around his neck. Whatever image you wanted to give the staff member of the two of you certainly worked.

“ Zlatko wants you back on the st- ”

It only took a second. The silencer was already attached to the gun when Richard reached for the weapon at his hip and pointed it at the wide-eyed man.

“ No! ” you shrieked.

You’d reached to stop him, but by then the bullet was already lodged between the man’s eyes,

and he slumped to the floor with a loud thud.

***

Moscow was facing a cruel snowstorm that only seemed to add to Richard’s list of problems. Many roads were blocked due to the horrible weather, and the traffic had come to a standstill all around the city by the time the two of you were on the move. Rupert had handed him his bag and a new coat to keep him warm, but been unable to drive the car anywhere because of the storm. Had this been one of his usual operations, Richard would’ve managed it just fine. He didn’t mind the cold, or the hours of long walk it would take to your supposed hideout. But this was different. Richard had you to take care of, and you turned out to be the most complicated, stubborn person he’d ever had the displeasure to work with.

On paper, getting you out of Eden Club was a simple task, but you, of course, didn’t let it be that way. Not only had you refused orders repeatedly, but you’d also ended up attacking him in the private room after he’d shot that staff member dead. You both knew why he’d done it, and it had turned you feral.

You’d spent a month working undercover in that club, and it was obvious that you’d endured a lot of horrors. Naturally, with Amanda cutting your mission short after Luther disappeared, it left you quite frustrated. The problem wasn’t that Richard didn’t understand you, the problem was that you let those emotions get the best of you when you shouldn’t.

You were CIA, for god’s sake.

Although, as Richard replayed the memory of your fight with him in the room back at Eden Club, some part of him was impressed by your combat skills. By the surprisingly brutal strength you were hiding under that delicate facade. It had taken quite a bit of his power to unlock the deadly grip your thighs had around his neck at some point, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that. By the time he’d finally gotten you to submit, the room had looked like a complete mess and he was struggling to catch his breath.

Richard knew that you only gave in because you couldn’t save your cover anymore, but that was the point. That was his intention when he shot that man, and you knew that. You both knew that.

You were wearing his fur coat as he dragged you along through the busy streets of the city, and even though you were barely wearing anything beneath it, you didn’t seem to care about the cold.

Luther and you had been sharing a base in a village outside of Moscow. It was an old cabin an elderly woman had rented out to the two of you during your time there, and it was clear that neither you nor Luther had been there for some time. The cabin was positioned at the foot of a mountain in a secluded part of the village, and Richard wondered how it managed to withstand the snowstorm in that poor condition. He could feel each breeze and whistle of the wind against the planks when you led the two of you inside, but you didn’t seem to mind it at all.

Richard observed you in the corner of his eye, watching as you quietly wandered over to Luther’s room only to find…nothing. By the looks of it, he hadn’t come back to the hideout either, and the evidence was the scatter of belongings he’d left behind.

You’d been wearing a tired, stoic look on your face since the moment you’d given up fighting him, and Richard didn’t know if that was good or bad. On one hand, you’d stopped being difficult, but on the other hand, you were impulsive and unpredictable, and that could mean anything. Even though he never wanted to think about his family during his missions, Richard couldn’t help but to think about Colin. Something about your reckless, stubborn nature reminded him of his older brother, and it felt both familiar and alarming at the same time.

You lazily wandered around the cabin, checking every room and corner, and when you didn’t find anything of interest, you disappeared inside the room next to Luther’s. Richard took a moment to scan the space around him before he followed you inside. It seemed like the room you’d entered was yours. He could tell because it consisted of a mess of clothes, bags and disheveled sheets on the bed, and nothing about it surprised Richard.

“ There is no hot water. ” You had your back turned to him as you spoke, not bothering to look at him as you shrugged the fur coat off. Richard watched as it dropped to the floor, leaving you in the red, lacy lingerie from Eden Club.

“ You have to turn the boiler on from the bathroom. ” You were sitting on the floor now, looking through your bags and searching through various clothes until you found interest in a large t-shirt.

“ That won’t be necessary, ” Richard responded. “ We’ll be out of here soon, so you should pack. ”

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, eyes hard and flaring with a familiar defiance that almost relieved Richard. He didn’t know why, but after that odd, dead look you’d carried, it felt good to see your personality peeking through again.

“ With that storm roaring outside? ” you asked, “ We’re not going anywhere, hotshot. ”

You’d already turned your attention back to the messy scatter of clothes before you again, but Richard still fought to keep his face controlled.

It wasn’t about you witnessing how you managed to get under his skin, it was a principle: Richard refused to forget his role and why he was there.

He was CIA, and unlike you, he’d stay professional.

“ Besides, I’m not leaving without Luther, ” you casually continued, “ or a hot shower. ”

Even though Richard had no intention to go along with your plans, he decided that he wasn’t going to argue with you. There were things he had to do, and even though he hated to admit it: you were right.

In a few hours the sun would rise, and the storm outside was only going to become worse.

***

Luther’s room was definitely not as messy as yours, but it was left in a way that had Richard speculating various theories for his odd disappearance. What if he’d come back to the hideout but been followed? What if this place wasn’t as safe as he thought it was and a sudden raid would wipe the two of you out in minutes? The knowledge of the brutal storm outside was the only thing keeping him partially sane. Even if that was the case, no one could endure the snow or the wind, and that gave him some comfort.

Richard had gathered Luther’s belongings in a perfect pile at a corner in the room and settled in for now. The old couch in the living room hadn’t looked that appealing, and even though it didn't feel entirely right to take Luther’s room, it gave him a sense of privacy that he prefered with you stranded in the cabin with him.

It was around 9 AM now, and he was laying on the bed with an arm slung over his eyes, so sleep deprived that he could die. His head was pulsing with pain, and it was all thanks to the whistling wind and creaks from the cabin wood he’d been forced to hear during the night. Whoever built this cabin didn’t prioritize isolation the slightest, and as much as Richard cursed that fact, it did give him the advantage of hearing you move around. He could hear you out in the kitchen now, working and fiddling with pots and pans, and when the smell of coffee managed to creep inside his room, you’d finally won him over.

He sat up on the bed and rubbed his tired eyes, hoping that today would be the day the storm would settle just enough to allow him a chance to contact Amanda again. During the night, Richard had spent hours trying to find a signal on his phone and laptop, and he’d realized there was no point. The storm was absolutely ruthless, and neither of you had a chance to connect to your superiors anytime soon.

Great.

He’d been smart enough to change into a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt, and you seemed to have settled on a similar outfit when he saw you out in the kitchen. It was a little funny how he almost couldn’t recognize you with clothes on.

You threw a glance at him over your shoulder when you felt his presence, and then you grinned to yourself.

“ I knew the coffee would lure you out. ”

It was such a simple detail, but it managed to make him feel a little exposed. How did you know that?

“ Actually, it was the noise. ” he countered, and it was only half true. The noise had been a factor, but it wasn’t the reason he came out of his room. Luther’s room.

You didn’t look too convinced when you handed him a hot cup of coffee, and Richard took a moment to stare down at it. When he looked up again, he arched a brow at you.

Did you take him for a fool?

You rolled your eyes.

“ You’re unbelievable. ” you said with a sigh, bringing the cup to your mouth to take a long sip from it.

“ Surprise, surprise! No poison in the coffee! ” you cheered sarcastically and pushed the cup into his hand. When you walked over to the kitchen table, Richard couldn’t help but to smirk a little.

Okay.

So you were playing nice, after all.

You were staring out of the kitchen window by the time he decided to join you at the small breakfast table you’d put together. You’d fried some eggs and put out some bread with butter on the side, and despite the simplicity of it, Richard felt a little impressed by your effort.

“ Have you been able to reach Amanda? ” he asked, reaching for the bread. You shook your head, glancing down at the coffee cup in your hands for a moment.

“ That’s the least of my worries right now. ” you said, drifting off as you stared out at the storm again. Richard observed you for a moment. Some part of him began to wonder if there was something more between you and Luther that he’d failed to consider. Not that it would surprise him, really. You didn’t seem to care about the prohibitions or protocols for your occupation, but even so, forming intimate relationships with other agents was a horrible mistake, and Richard thought that you were smarter than that.

“ When was the last time you saw him? ” He asked, biting into the bread, and your eyes flicked over to him momentarily.

“ Luther, ” he elaborated.

You were trying to keep your emotions under control, and Richard could sense your struggle.

“ Four days ago, ” you said, swallowing thickly. “ He told me he’d cover our tracks over here and then we’d be ready to take Zlatko down. ”

“ Zlatko… ” Richard’s brow furrowed. It was the same name the worker had mentioned when he’d returned to the room in Eden Club. You nodded, sighing:

“ Zlatko owns the club. ” you explained, “ The sick bastard is running a whole criminal network in Moscow. ” You were starting to sound bitter now, but Richard couldn’t bring himself to blame you.

“ Weapons, drugs, prostitution: everything’s going through that filthy club of his, and he’s damn good at covering it up. ”

Richard recalled the figure lurking in the darkness back at the club, and even though he had no way of proving it, something told him it was Zlatko.

“ It’s Cain, right? ” you asked, and Richard stopped chewing. “ Some names become a blur after a while, but I‘m pretty sure you were Cain. ”

A tension was creeping up his body, and it wasn’t long before his pulse was picking up, too. He didn’t realize it then, but it was the first crack to find a home in the walls around his hidden identity. That name, his real name, carried a heavy baggage that Richard had no desire to unpack, and certainly not with you.

You were observing him as you waited for his response, a little confused by his sudden silence and stiffness. Richard tossed the bread onto the table after a moment, finally meeting your eyes with a stern glare.

“ Don’t ever call me that again. ”

Whatever version of common ground you’d found together over the breakfast table was tossed out of the window the moment those harsh words escaped him. And you? You weren’t having a second of it.

“ Oh, get over yourself. ” you snapped. “ Would it kill you to act like a decent human being for five minutes before you’re back to being Amanda’s obedient machine boy? ” Your head tilted to the side, eyes narrowing at him with distaste, and Richard felt his blood boil beneath his skin.

“ I’m not here to be your friend, ” he shot back, and something faltered in your expression at his words. “ I’m sent here to complete a mission, and that’s exactly what I intend to do. ”

For a long moment, the only sound existing between you came from the storm outside. The low whistles and creaks of the wood were somehow too loud and not loud enough to dampen the sound of his pounding heart in his ears. You stared at each other for a long while, and Richard met your searching eyes with an icy glare. He didn’t have it in him to analyze his own anger, and luckily, before he fell victim to his own spiraling thoughts, you decided to stand from your seat.

“ I think- ” you paused, trying to calm the fire rising from your throat. “ I think I'm gonna take that shower now. ”

***

Forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five…

Richard was struggling. He was struggling so much and it had nothing to do with the forty-six pushups he was working himself through on the floor of his room. It did, however, have everything to do with the suffocating fact that he couldn’t escape you or this stupid cabin. It was the frustrating fact that he couldn’t find a signal to contact Amanda and find comfort in her guidance after you’d pushed him onto a path of thoughts that he was terrified of facing.

It’s Cain, right?

Cain. Cain brought on so many questions and thoughts into his head that he was in no position to answer or reflect on. Cain dragged him into the past and forced him to relive the excruciating cocktail of emotions he’d swallowed down throughout the years. It was everything from that odd longing to hug his dead mother, the pain of losing Hank and watching Sixty lose himself to addiction, to the realization that he couldn’t be with a woman like Suki or live a normal life like Connor.

Cain brought on too much that Richard didn’t have time to dwell on, and he wouldn’t.

Eighty-one, eighty-two, eighty-three…

Sweat had gathered over his brow and his arms were starting to shake, but it still had nothing to do with the pushups he was doing. It was dark outside, and you’d been awfully quiet throughout the day. Even through the paper thin walls, he hadn’t heard you move around the cabin after you’d taken that shower, and he didn’t know what to do with that information.

Had he been too hard on you?

Logically, he knew that you probably needed someone to talk to after Luther’s sudden disappearance, but he couldn’t forgive your lack of respect for protocol. Richard didn't know if Luther had been entertaining those kinds of private conversations with you, but he wasn’t going to be that type of agent. He’d made it clear what his intentions were, and you should’ve respected them.

Would it kill you to act like a decent human being for five minutes…

He’d reached a hundred pushups when he finally decided to stand up again, and he took a moment to simply catch his breath while he stared at the storm outside of his bedroom window.

Is that what he was lacking?

Humanity?

He was wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand when he heard a noise from your room. Richard paused, going as far as holding his breath to hear you a little better. Maybe he just wanted to prove to himself that he did, in fact, carry more humanity than he let on around you. Had you been smarter, you would’ve understood that it was simply a necessity of his job. He had to put his emotions aside, and so should you.

Richard heard another noise, and this time, it sounded like a whimper. Or maybe… a sob? He rubbed his eyes with his hand, cursing quietly under his breath. Were you really crying? He dared to think that it was because of his harsh words that morning, but then his eyes caught Luther’s pile in the corner and all of those thoughts faded away.

Were you missing Luther?

Another muffled sob reached his ears, and Richard contemplated what he should do. He tried to think about the dynamic between two agent partners, and the expectations they’d have on each other. Perhaps being there for you was a necessity he’d overlooked simply due to his years of working solo.

Richard took a deep breath, and then, for some unknown reason, he decided to walk towards your room.

He was a grown man. He could be an adult about this and apologize, and he prayed to god that you’d find it in you to respond with half of the decency he was going to show you. Your cries were a little louder when he reached your door, and he was surprised to find out that it was partly open.

“ Jasmine? ” he murmured, gently tapping his knuckles against the door.

You didn’t respond, and it made Richard’s brow furrow. There was another noise, though, one that he couldn’t quite make sense of, mixing with your quiet little cries that were starting to worry him. Almost urgently, he decided to stride inside your room, and what he saw then had him freezing on the spot.

You were laying on your back on the bed, head thrown back and hair spread over the pillow with your hands working a small device between your legs. Richard’s whole body flooded with heat at the sight, and the moment you met his eye, he felt himself twitch inside his sweatpants.

This-

This was a horrible mistake.

There was no reason for you to hold his gaze, but you did. The scorching heat of desire pooling in your eyes was enough to burn him alive, but that wasn’t what had his breath hitching in his throat. It was the sight of you so exposed to him while you chased a pleasure he’d never thought to understand or feel himself. Despite the small size of the vibrator, he could feel its high intensity as it buzzed against your most sensitive parts, making your thighs shake as you suddenly clamped them shut and sat up on the bed with a gasp that sounded too much like a moan.

“ Fucking hell– ” You panted, looking annoyed by his sudden presence as you lazily turned the vibrator off and fought to catch your breath. “ Can I help you? ”

Can I help you?

Richard had no idea how his face was looking at that moment, but he prayed to god that it wasn’t as horrible as he felt inside. For a second, he’d felt what could only be described as embarrassment for walking in on you at such an intimate moment, but now he was feeling…annoyed.

Annoyed at you for being annoyed at him.

“ I thought you were- ” he changed his mind the moment the words left his mouth. What difference would it make what he thought? He’d just walked in on you masturbating, and he was still there, feet glued to the floor like he couldn’t walk out even if he wanted to.

You observed him with a look that put him on edge, and once again Richard focused on controlling his expression. He stared at you through cold, half lidded eyes, and the light clench of his jaw only added to the angry look on his face. For some reason, you took that as an invitation to push his buttons further.

“ What? Am I breaking protocol, again? ” You taunted, eyes narrowing at him. There was a faint smirk on your lips that Richard ignored in favor of his own sanity, but the fight in him was quickly dying out when you decided to get off the bed and close in on him. This was a dangerous game you were playing, and even though Richard told himself that he had no desire to play with you, he found himself forced into a new silent battle of wills. If he backed away now, you’d win this little staring contest, and he just couldn’t allow that to happen.

You peered up at him when you finally found your spot before him, your head slightly tilted back while his bowed in favor of staring down at you. His hands were curled into tight fists at his sides, and his chest was rising and falling with each heavy breath he tried to keep under control. Richard looked angry. He looked like he wanted to tear you apart with his teeth and dump you to the wolves out on the mountains, but you weren’t buying it.

“ Do you want to fuck me, Cain? ” you asked, dragging your sinful gaze down to his lips, and then back to his hard eyes.

The next breath that came out of him was unsteady, vibrating in his throat before it passed through his parting lips. It was an absolute disgrace that he couldn’t control himself better in a situation like this. He’d been working in the field for years and had several operations involving intimacy with various women, but they’d never had him feeling this feral before. Richard knew that his sexual frustration was a natural, fleeting thing that he’d have to face every now and then, and he’d been content taking care of his needs alone behind closed doors. But now? How was he supposed to resist this overwhelming desire to throw you onto that bed and fuck you until you couldn’t move anymore? And more importantly, why did he want that?

Why did he want you?

“ You’re crossing a serious line right now. ” he warned, voice low and threatening in a way that only seemed to encourage the faint curl at the corner of your lips. Sexual intimacy or intimacy of any kind was prohibited between agents, and you knew that very well despite your apparent desire to defy it.

“ Well, maybe I wouldn’t be if you just had let me finish, ” you quipped, leaning up to deliver those harsh words in his face. The two of you seemed furious with each other, and Richard was clearly the one closest to breaking. A large hand was suddenly gripping your jaw, and Richard even challenged the non-existing glue on the floor by stepping closer into your space to snarl down at you.

“ Then finish. ” he ordered, and somehow it managed to sound like a threat.

You glared up at him for a long while, and he glared back, listening to the deep, rapid breaths you both were struggling to keep under control. Richard didn’t expect your hand to dive between your legs, but the moment he heard the familiar buzz starting up again, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed in a way that bled frustration. It was becoming unbearable, difficult to concentrate on your face when all he wanted to do was to reach for that devious little device, and use it on you until you were begging him to stop, but despite it, he held on. He found that there was a unique satisfaction in watching your face contort in pleasure while you moved the vibrator against yourself, and he clung to that for dear life.

Despite his straining self control, he managed to endure the sound of your moans. Hell, he even endured the way your free hand clutched onto his forearm while he kept you still in his iron grip. But when you began to say his name, his real name, in a needy, desperate whisper, Richard almost lost it completely. You’d heightened the intensity on the vibrator, and even though he couldn’t see it himself, your face was telling him that it was working over your most sensitive part. He listened to the sounds: the way the buzzing became clearer and then muffled as you moved it around against yourself. He observed each result of those movements on your face, and when you suddenly stopped moving it around, Richard knew you’d found the right spot. You were getting closer and closer to your end, and Richard just hoped, just prayed, he was strong enough to hold himself back until you were finished.

Your knees gave in after a while, and instead of holding you up, Richard felt himself being lowered down to his knees with you. He was breathing hard, the sharp tip of his nose dragging down the side of your face while you held on to him for dear life. He could feel you shaking and squirming under his grip, your eyes filling with tears as you let out a small cry.

“ Come on, ” his voice was quivering, and he sounded so demanding it almost made him question his own motives.

“ Come for me. ”

You fell off the edge almost immediately, and Richard tightened his grip on your jaw to a point where he was sure he was going to leave a mark. It almost scared him, the realization of how much the idea of marking you up seemed to satisfy something deep and carnal in him. Your mouth opened in a silent cry, and you clutched onto him for dear life while you rode out each wave of pleasure washing through your body.

Richard couldn’t make out how long he held you like that, but by the time you moved your head back to look at him through those tired, half-lidded eyes, he was fighting to steady his deep, desperate breaths. He watched your face, the way your hair was sticking to your sweaty skin, and something about that drunken, awed look on your face reached something deep inside him that he didn’t know existed. Richard felt your heat radiating through the oversized t-shirt you were wearing, and the moment the buzzing from the vibrator came to an end, he blinked, landing back to reality. His heart fell into his stomach, and he stared at you with wide, awed eyes before he finally let you go.

You didn’t bother to stand on your feet when he urgently rose to his own, breathlessly staring down at you like you were a ghost in the room that he wasn’t supposed to see, or touch.

Something shifted in your expression then, something that tried to crawl inside him and pick him apart, but Richard wouldn’t have it.

He tore his gaze away from you, and then he was rushing out of the room.

He had to get away from you,

away from the unspeakable things that just happened between you.

#dbh #rk900 x reader #nines x reader #dbh nines x reader #rk800 #tmg stuff #detroit become human

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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Hi, I have hard executive dysfunctions but had some (temporary) results using to-do apps and stuff. For everything, brushing teeth, eating, etc. But it always end (very quickly) by me adding 30+ to dos for a day and working 10 hours to get them done until I break down. I can't not do it. Once I think about it, there is sooo much to do, so much I neglected.

So I saw this nice bullet journal in a shop today and took it with me and need some ideas how to make it, to not end like the others:

I thought about a symptom part, how good did I sleep, what mental health issues do I have, etc pp.

I am completely unsure if I should ad any "chore to-dos" or only self care/mental health ones. But even those feel like chores so...

And my energy level varies strongly so I thought about keeping it vague like idk "do one relaxing thing"-like maybe. So I could decide on that day, what I think I will get done. But that's pretty unsatifying.

Ah and, as much as I love such book and diaries etc, writing it down feels like a chore too so... It sounds worse than it is, I had some results but everything in this world sounds like a chore so I am unsure how to make this fun and manageable and neither go to the extreme nor give up.

Give me all your ideas and examples and plans.

Hi anon,

As soon as I saw your ask I just knew I wanted to answer it ~ I have ADHD, but because of other chronic health issues - I cannot take stimulant medications for it and rely on my adaptations to manage symptoms (and yup, some of my mental energy does get used up doing it this way - but it is possible for some of us!). I wanted to start by sharing some resource links and articles first:

The Best Work Schedule for ADHD Brains: Flexible or Rigid? (with resources at the end, and lots of reflections from a variety of folks who benefit from both - great starting point to see which style resonates with you)

Adults With Executive Function Disorder (scroll about halfway down for tips and resources)

Tips and Tricks for Executive Function Disorder (geared towards the caretaker of a child with it, but still impactful suggestions, including movement breaks and reward systems)

Executive Function Disorder: Bullet Journal (one person’s personal bullet journal and how an adaptable reward system - shaped like a bingo card - really helped them)

But also wanted to share what I use/tell myself throughout the day/week to help: (under the cut to help avoid the post getting super long)

I personally use an adapted planner for the overall schedule, it’s got enough blank spaces where if I want to “change it up” I can do that week to week, but in general this is the place where I store my overall monthly calendar and every Sunday night write out my week ahead of “big things” (apps, time sensitive errands, etc).

I take a picture of my monthly calendar, as well as my weekly so even if I’m out and about I can quickly refer to it if someone asks about a date - versus saying “I’ll check my calendar later and get back to you” . . . and then - never doing it, whoops!

People in my life are used to it by now, but essentially if someone tells me something like “next weekend is so and so’s birthday” - I’ll take a moment to set an alarm reminder to add it to my calendar when I’m home, and or make a text message note on my phone, and set an alarm that essentially reads “don’t forget to add your text notes to the calendar” (some days I can have like fifteen alarms going off throughout the day, but this way I also manage to add the information I need to, versus feeling like I’m constantly forgetting something, or worse, expending limited mental energy constantly cycling through a “don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget” concentration).

I timeblock my day every morning before everyone else is awake, for example: 7 to 8 - studies, 9 to 10 - social, and so on. By doing it every day, I can refer back to it throughout the day and adjust as needed but also not plan too far ahead with no adaptability to changing circumstances. I also ensure that for a chunk of “serious chores” I also schedule in what I like to call “serotonin boosts” - whether that’s some friends time, or creative time, whatever sparks joy for you. There have definitely been days where I felt like I could not do one more email - and then reminded myself that as soon as I got through the five I scheduled myself for, then I could draw for an hour (a basic ‘this, then that’ reward system). Suddenly, I manage to push through it, and often quicker than I had originally thought it would take - allowing me to have even more time with something that brings joy.

If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I set several alarms, almost like a countdown

I like to use fun color pens, or even pens with like fuzzy balls, or some other sort of stimming part to it as I work - it allows me a moment to stim if I need it, even when I’m tackling the “boring brain dump” stuff.

No amount of telling my brain “just do it” for twenty minutes is going to magically create the dopamine/serotonin it needs to do the thing. So if a reward isn’t working, I get up and move with a timer to get it going that way, and then try again.

I’m sure there’s plenty more ideas/tips/tricks - anyone stumbling on this, please feel free to comment, reblog, and add to it, but I hope it’s a helpful start for you and anyone else out there looking for adaptions. - Mod Kat

#trauma talks #mod kat #executive function disorder

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stellarhistoria · 9 months

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SCATTERED ACROSS THE SANDS: GROUP AU FOR THE CYTOS FAM.

♡. trigun.au ( cytosfamily ) ⁄ ⁄ scattered across the sands .

you're bewitched by the devil's lullaby. Perhaps the least aware of how things work in a desert environment, having grown up around a cold and forested environment for a long time only then moving to a proper cityscape when he was already an adult, Zack would be the one to offer water repeatedly and then be confused as to why he's getting in trouble with the higher ups. sir/ma'am i'm just giving someone water. is there an issue? what do you mean i shouldn't have that much, it's my water- Jests aside, once he realizes how things work, he would easily climb ranks in the society, but do so in the way of leveling the playing field, even if it meant drawing trouble to himself. When his youngest baby sister sends him a magical Sending message, he pulls back immediately and returns to engineering something to help her husband, Axcel, be put at ease - or come pick at least her up off this terrible planet.

there's so much hatred in such a vibrant world. it makes me sad. Alcaeus Mallas, known only as Kae (or to some who only see him in ghosting trails of his coat, The Spirit of Ju-Lai), wanders the "empty" city of Ju-Lai, as he learns after weeks its name, acting as a lone caretaker for the silence that carries so much weight. He cares little for what people claim, cares little for who might tread there, only if they treat the silence with such respect as he does. He is not his second to youngest sibling, no cleric or official priest. He's just some mad alchemist with a penchant for challenging fate. As days turn into weeks, Kae begins to experiment with what the sand and dirt and ground may indeed offer in terms of pH levels and the acidity of the world beneath his feet, in an attempt to try to get some life into an otherwise graveyard silent city. He only knows his siblings are still alive because of the feeling of certainty that he has that they will see each other again.

you'd look better in black and white; all that blood would look like tar. Off into the west of the scattered sands, is a big city that thrives on how no one causes a fuss, far from the reach of Vash the Stampede... but apparently there's no need for Vash the Stampede when there's supposedly a demon on the loose. They don't bother asking a name when every time the cityfolk see the demon, lightning crashes nearby and a storm begins as the chase does at the same time. The chase doesn't last nearly as long as the storm, but they have yet to figure out that the storm is a result of their fear and hate towards the frightened person they call a demon. No one gets a good look at "it" - but when they do, there have been accounts of eyes like light through a prism, sunlight and night-touched features reflecting in the crash of lightning... and one person has sworn they've seen pointed ears. Why wouldn't "it" be a demon? That's not human.

sour, sugar and spice, everything bitter and choking on ice. Luka ended up mostly unharmed, but "showed up" (aka crash landed) outside of one of the smaller cities, where people thought he was some sort of bounty hunter thrown from the saddle. He eventually convinced the township/city he ended up in to trust him, despite his cold demeanor, and at some point, he managed to figure out how to put taste into his more bland food based spells. So his stand in clinic is always well stocked. Some days, he hears of some things happening off in the west, how there is a demon of claws and lightning wreaking havoc through the sands, turning them into molten glass pits of agony, and has to sigh. People here really don't like seeing anyone different from them, do they? He worries about Aryin.

everything you can do, i do twelve steps ahead of you. This woman would be the most well adjusted to the desert sands, as her main station back home was the arid and humid lands and worlds, such as Agrabah and the coastal regions of upper Atlantica. Being who she was as a spy and a chaotic gremlin of a rogue, she would be the sort to make sure she and her elder son of seven years old are safe first before getting a hold of her eldest brother, Zack, to help build something to contact her husband - there is no doubt in her mind that he has already gone berserk, believing that the Lancealot armies have kidnapped her again - and worse yet, kidnapped her AND Justin. When she gets the time between speaking with Zack in fits of magic that never truly cooperates, she studies the people around her, and refuses to teach her son how to wield anything more than a dagger or one of her old swords, a real one, not a Keyblade. She refuses to give a GUN to a SEVEN YEAR OLD. (even if she was taught precision aiming at eight.)

#this is going to be a nightmare actually #I NEED TO FINISH WATCHING OH MAH GAH #♡. trigun.au ( cytosfamily ) ⁄ ⁄ scattered across the sands .#tag save.

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officersnickers · 2 years

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HI! its me again :D I wanna talk about tpn if you don't mind. About what you said about the complicated and simple explanation. let's start with the complicated explanation. "There are villages/other houses or orphanages around and one caught on fire but it's fine now"

The kids would ask more questions like "why can they meet them?" , "why didn't you tell us that there are people nearby?", "Are you well acquainted with them?", and then it will lead to more questions about the orphanage. It's ganna be tough to lie about that y'know. And then theres the simple explanation "that's what happens when you don't eat up properly Kimberly" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the younger kids would believe that however the older kids will probably get suspicious. I have a headcanon that because of that alarm, some kids from other plantations started to get suspicious. This would probably lead to them knowing the truth but was stopped by their mamas and whatever the messed-up system has to do to keep them from escaping. what do you think?

Pfff! If I don‘t mind talking about The Promised Neverland… you all know me this well at this point, I guess 😄🤔

Both my explanations were mostly meant as a joke, althought the question „what did the Sisters/ Mamas told the children in the other farms about the fire in Plantation 3?“ surely leads to more questions. Since the children know they are living in an orphanage, I could assume they were at least informed that they are supported by other facilities/ institutions, however you want to call them. The food, the clothes, toys and even the new babies – they all have to come from a source outside the orphanage, and it‘s safe to assume the Mamas and/ or Sisters told their cattle children „something“ about the outside world, lies, of course, but enough to not raise any doubts.

Long story short – maybe the adults explained the fire with an accident in a nearby village, or just a sudden forest fire (which leads to more questions, because forest fires in deep winter?). Maybe they had to put up these posters the next days, too:

But of course, the children are not stupid. Questions like „Why can't we meet them?“, „Why didn't you tell us that there are people nearby?“ or „Are you well acquainted with them?“ will bubble up, making the caretakers sweat up a bit, I bet. Additionally, there are several older children they would have to take care of, too, since the children that were left behing in plantation 3 had to be brought to other orphanages. I guess the simpliest explanations for every question would be „There are other orphanages like ours, and a fire broke out; we have to take in some of the poor children because they lost their home. We usually can‘t meet them since they live too far away, and we didn‘t told you about them was because the question would remain, what would it matter?“ See, the children more or less know how the world and an orphanage works (they even know they had parents prior that couldn‘t/ wouldn‘t take care of them), so it‘s no real surprise there are other orphanages. Like, we all did go to school (I hope ^^) - did you ever ask yourself how pupils in other schools were? Why you would (almost) never meet them? No? Me neither, because I lived my own life, and presumably the cattle children in the different plantations are doing the same.

While the younger children are more likely to go on with their life and ask no further questions, the real troublemakers would surely be the older ones. New children mean new sources of informations, but… why should they get assumptions something could be fishy? Listen, even Norman, the smartest, most careful character you can imagine didn‘t have any doubts about his happy-go-lucky-orphan life. Not to throw a shade on Jackie, Helen and co., but they are probably are not near Norman and Emma‘s intelligence-level, and while the fire may raise some assumptions, in the end, they had to much going on than to worry about some incidents – getting better scores, playing tag and simply having a funky good time in plantation XYZ.

Nevertheless, if the Mamas/ Sisters got wind of something suspicious going on with the children, they would notice it. Remember how Yukko did send Andrew after Phil because the lil guy was a bit somber somtimes? After all, the women were trained to notice changes in the behauvior in their merchandise before anything could happen, making it impossible for the children to escape from the farms.

Or so they thought, am I right, plantation 3?

In conclusion: I have no idea how the adults explained the fire in the heart of the farms. Maybe with all what I listed above.

But maybe it was really Kimberly‘s fault for not eating up her vegetables 🥬🫑🥦

#that's my take and I know it's not very good ^^#the promised neverland #tpn #ynn #yakusoku no neverland #Snickers babbles #yakusoku no nebārando

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thehappyhaunt · 1 year

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The Happy Haunt - A Ghost Pokemon Sanctuary and Rescue!

( Pokeblogging - TW: Unreality )

Dear friends, enemies, and those still under review, My name is Blythe and it is a pleasure for me to present myself. I am a pokemon trainer in a little known region known as Fiestiva. While I'm better known for my work as a gym leader, my real heart comes from taking care of ghost pokemon. Which is why I established The Happy Haunt in the first place.

The Happy Haunt is both a sanctuary where souls may come to find respite and a rescue for the more restless spirits to find their forever trainers. Our front gates are open at 7pm - 6am for any trainers to walk through and potentially capture our rescues. The capture area is divided by skill level so please don't try and go into the higher level areas without clearance.

[ RP INFO IN THE UNDERCUT ]

Character

Name: Blythe Pronouns: He/Him Age: around his 20s Occupation: Sanctuary Caretaker, Gym leader Pokemon: Mimikyu | Coraline Trevenant | Juniper Chandelure | Cinderella Aegislash | Arthur Mismagius | Lalonde Gengar | Bigsy Current Region: Fiestiva (Fan-Region) Preferred Type: Ghost and Psychic Appearance/Distinguishing Traits:

Fan-Region info

Fiestiva is a tropical region based on the Philippines. Every summer, the League challenges are held as a celebration of life and a test of skill.

Mod

Name/Nickname: Raziel/Razz Pronouns: He/him Main: earlgray-cookie but this blog is on a separate account Adult or Minor?: Adult Comfortable with Minors Interacting?: Yes, but keep a distance. RP related only.

Account Does RP?: Not currently accepting in-person roleplays.

#Pokeblogging #pkmn irl

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a-moth-to-the-light · 2 years

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Fruits Basket Diaries, #3: Favorite Relationships (Halfway Point)

[see part 1 here]

[see part 2 here]

This is part of an ongoing series where I'll be cataloguing my experience rereading (and finishing for the first time) the Fruits Basket manga. I've just finished reading up to Chapter 66, so there will be spoilers up to that section of the story. Also, please keep in mind that my thoughts are likely to develop as I read more!

I'm struggling to find the right word to use, because "relationship" often has romantic implications, but what I'm talking about here are just pairs or groups of characters that I really like seeing in scenes together. If I see their relationship as romantic, I'll specify! I'm just about at the halfway point of the story, so I thought it would be fun to talk about my favorite relationships now; I can track how they develop as I read, and those of you who have finished the series can laugh if some of the ones I love end badly! *cries*

1) Kazuma, Kyo, & Tohru (parent-child, platonic)

I think we all know that Kazuma & Kyo scenes in general are THE BEST (I especially adore how much insight we get into Kazuma's experiences as a father), but I have to add Tohru here because there is nothing more entertaining than seeing Kyo, who often struggles to express affection, navigate interactions with two people he deeply cares for. With these two, Kyo is constantly negotiating between his child and teen selves, between vulnerability (his unadulterated admiration for Kazuma) and affected composure (his desire to seem "cool" in front of Tohru), which is a really interesting place for his character to be! Generally, Kazuma is a non-antagonistic character: while many of the other adults in Tohru's life seem to constantly seek out conflict, however lighthearted that conflict may be, Kazuma is understated, and this allows Tohru to turn off the mediator part of her brain and show us an unusually calm side of her personality, which I find just as interesting as Kyo's change.

2) Hatsuharu & Yuki (platonic)

I talked about these two for a while in part 2, so hopefully it's obvious that I adore them! Haru is so caring in a thousand little domestic ways without breaking from his signature nonchalance, and Yuki's hesitant attempts to reciprocate that are very sweet.

3) Arisa & Kyo (platonic)

I say I don't really care for Kyo as a character, but then he shows up twice in my top three--I might just be kidding myself. These two don't have plotlines together, just moments set aside for banter during the larger friend group's interactions, but these exchanges bring me so much joy. I love how they bond over their lighthearted animosity for each other, eventually getting to the point where they're frequently seeking each other out. Watching their progression from "I'm just here for Tohru" to having a personal connection to each other is delightful!

4) Ayame, Hatori, & Shigure (romantic)

(I would also totally agree with characterizing their relationship as queerplatonic, for those of us who read Shigure as aroace!)

Yeah okay I love them! Both Ayame & Shigure have seemingly unlimited energy, and they bounce off each other to eventually reach the highest level of chaotic neutral the world has ever seen. And then there's Hatori--calm caretaker on the outside, but secretly very heavily watched over by the other two (WHICH IS SO ADORABLE AAA). Their dynamic is just so much fun, especially the way Shigure takes on both Ayame's naïve impropriety and Hatori's polite sensibility at different times, depending on the occasion. Like with Haru & Yuki, I appreciate the way these three so consistently show up in each other's lives in simple, domestic ways (Ayame calling Hatori like every other second will never get old! *laughs*).

5) Hatori & Tohru (platonic)

Their friendship isn't anything huge, just two mom-friends taking care of each other. When they're together, both of them can let go a bit, and I feel at peace whenever they interact.

Honorable Mentions

1) Kyo & Shigure (platonic)

I have to say, I'm really interested in getting background on these two; Kyo seems to have legitimate respect for Shigure, which makes me wonder if there's history between Kazuma and Shigure that made Kyo trust Shigure enough to move into his home in the first place. In terms of what's actually in the story, I enjoy the occasional scenes where Shigure gives Kyo advice--on one hand, Shigure puts in the effort to understand Kyo emotionally, despite how little Kyo expresses directly, and on the other, Kyo is impacted by what Shigure says, taking it seriously. It's an unexpected form of connection between two characters who don't normally pay emotions all that much attention. I also really appreciate the way Shigure makes efforts to connect with Kyo on Kyo's own terms. Kyo seems to feel most comfortable using conflict without stakes--teasing, banter, ridiculous arguments--as his main way of connecting with others, and Shigure is more than happy to antagonize Kyo on a daily basis without threatening actual harm (this isn't to say that he never hurts Kyo, but that's separate from his teasing! that's a whole different can of worms called Akito!). So, not just despite but actually because of all the bickering, I think Kyo really trusts Shigure, and I enjoy the way these two so naturally connect.

2) Hiro & Megumi (platonic)

I don't think we've ever seen these two in a scene together, which is why they can't make the top 5, but I have to mention them! Both are younger characters who still manage to hold their own with the older friend groups in the story, but for opposite reasons; while Hiro asserts himself through volleys of words, Megumi takes power through silence. Because of this, I think they would have a really interesting friendship.

3) Tohru & Yuki (romantic)

I forced myself to put at least one ship that has a reasonable chance of actually getting together by the end of the story in the honorable mentions (I mean, I can always hope for my favorite polycule to get married at some point, but I doubt it will happen, sadly! *laughs*), and even though the spoilers I've been unable to avoid make me believe I shouldn't get too attached to these two, I can't help it! Yuki's attempts at flirting are absolutely hilarious, and I enjoy seeing both of them, the two most considerate characters in the manga, talk to each other--it's sweetness overload from both sides, creating exactly the kind of warm, fuzzy feelings that I want from a slice-of-life romance.

#i hope you enjoy! i can't even describe how fun creating this was :)#fruits basket diaries #fruits basket manga #fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers

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colindotpdx · 2 months

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Oregon Judge Tells Family to Kidnap Grandpa

How can a Clackamas County judge decide where an American citizen lives?

Meet 87-year old Dr. Maynard Orme.

Dr. Orme is a well-known character in Portland, Oregon. He was CEO of Oregon Public Broadcasting for over 20 years and was prominent in public television in California before that.

He is a civic leader, was on the board of NPR and PBS, was president of Portland Rotary, and served many causes from jazz radio to historic preservation of railways.

In the 1980’s he produced the documentary “Day After Trinity” about Robert Oppenheimer which was nominated for an Academy Award. At the award ceremony, he wore his High School prom tuxedo with a pale blue ruffled shirt. He is smart, witty, highly regarded and the proud father of two daughters.

If you met him you would love him.

But being 87 years old has its drawbacks and he needs help with managing his finances and, for sure, managing his blood-sugar levels.

Last summer, his two daughters who live a thousand miles from their dad, were concerned about the decline in his health despite his being looked after by an old friend who took on the role of live-in paid caretaker a few years ago. After one too many trips to the ER, the family had enough. One family member, a retired doctor, said, “His lack of care is life-threatening. I think this may be the last time I see Maynard alive”.

The daughters consulted with an Oregon trust attorney to setup his daughters as guardians and Dr. Orme’s caretaker hired a probate elder attorney who insisted on a Guardian/Conservator who would protect his health and his finances.

“We thought we were asking for help and it totally backfired”.

The first recommendation for Conservator turned out to be the woman whose practice was the inspiration for the movie, “I Care A Lot,” that dramatized her career of abuse and corruption in Clackamas County. This should have been a warning. The second suggestion was removed from involvement by the presiding judge for breach of fiduciary duty for offering financial inducement to the paid caretaker, likely in exchange for signing up with him.

The third recommendation turned out to be no better and the judge named her to also serve as the Conservator to work with the newly hired lawyer.

Let’s check on how they are doing.

In the months since the probate court appointed “professional fiduciaries”, Dr. Orme has been saddled with an estimate of $500,000 of expenses and fees. The details of his private Living Trust have been made public, a huge part of his valuable personal collections has gone missing and local police have been told not to investigate. Dr. Orme and his family’s complaints have been deliberately ignored, monthly bills have not been paid, his 401K and bank accounts have been liquidated, his mortgages are in default, his real estate has been claimed by the Conservator, his chosen Trustees have been barred from attending to their duties and responsibilities. Friends and family have been denied contact, Dr. Orme was not allowed to spend the holidays with family, and is only allowed to leave his residential unit with the paid caretaker. Dr. Orme suffered depression, his health declined, and he was neglected.

This is a truly an astonishing catalog of abuse and incompetence that is hard to read and even harder to believe. All of this has been reported by the family to law enforcement, the FBI, and the Adult Protective Services departments in both Oregon and California.

Old but independent, to sick and broke in six months. A new world record.

In every imaginable aspect of his life, Dr. Orme was made substantially worse off than before. The private “probate professionals” are billing Dr. Orme thousands of dollars every month whilst neglecting all of their fiduciary duties and neglecting his health.

All this collusion of those paid to protect Dr. Orme took place while the presiding judge of Clackamas County oversees Dr. Orme’s probate case.

“This is judicially enforced exploitation. A Clackamas County probate racket.”

A few months ago, Colin Evans and Michael Kern, two long-time friends of Dr. Orme heard about some of this and arranged to have lunch with him. When they heard from their friend that he was not allowed to visit his daughters and grandkids over Christmas, they supported his wish to leave town and travel to stay with his family in Pacific Palisades, California. He is now safe, happy and with his family, but penniless; prevented from even accessing his Oregon home or his resources from a lifetime of work, he now depends on his family and friends for his care and wellbeing.

Despite all this depredation, his health and mental faculties have recovered tremendously with help from doctors, family and caregivers. He remains ever cheerful and states repeatedly to everyone including the judge, that he wishes to stay in Pacific Palisades. He has further indicated that he is afraid to return to Oregon, into the hands of paid caretakers and professionals who have medically neglected and exploited him, and whom he certainly no longer trusts.

One old friend who talked to him after his move to Pacific Palisades said, “I was worried he was failing before. He was foggy but I just talked to him and now he’s BACK”.

Shameful Probate Horror Story Continues.

Subsequent to his move to Pacific Palisades and despite his repeated statements that he is happy and healthy there, the professionals in Oregon in charge of his wellbeing have engaged in pervasive bullying and harassment in order to force his return to Clackamas County into their clutches. They downplay their bullying, asserting they have a higher status and authority than the family to decide Dr. Orme’s fate.

His friends and family have been visited by LAPD and Protective Services departments multiple times in Pacific Palisades; the FBI even showed up with accusations that he had been kidnapped and held against his will and without his medications. All of these people found Dr. Orme in great spirits and in great health, with all his required medications, and being looked after with regular visits from two caregivers. They all reported that he is happy and surrounded by joy, grandkids, pets, love, and care.

Dr. Orme vested a great deal of trust in his Oregon caretaker, and he voluntarily agreed to the professional fiduciary and her retained legal counsel. He does not want to believe that they have conspired to manipulate and defraud him. Yet here we are. From his perspective, all the evidence points in that direction.

Despite all this, the Conservator has persuaded the Probate Court judge to issue an order for Dr. Orme to return to Clackamas County and to hold his daughter, Jennifer Erwin, in Contempt of Court with a $18,000 fine and additional $500 per day fine until she returns him to the judge.

Maynard Orme’s only crime is growing old.

Remember … Dr. Orme has no medical opinion declaring him incompetent, there are no court-ordered restrictions on his travel or association, none of his medications have been defined as life-threatening, and he has a well-designed Living Trust for his property that allows him to decide how his assets are used. Yet he is being treated as if none of these were true.

All of us should be terrified by this. We all aspire to be this well organized so that our autumn years are comfortable and stress free; that our children are left with clear instructions.

Step back a second to realize how repugnant this court order is. The Probate Court has no power to arrest or extradite Dr. Orme, so the judge has chosen to solely punish Ms. Erwin until SHE returns him to the Clackamas County Courthouse. It’s a Solomon’s Choice. If Dr Orme is forced to return to Oregon, his will, well-being, and civil rights are sacrificed. His daughter may be subject to criminal charges for abuse, exploitation, and kidnapping. If Dr. Orme remains in California, as he is entitled to do, his daughter is held in Contempt and the court can order fines, attorney fees, compensation for damages, and even confinement to jail.

Indeed this judge has the power to arrest Jennifer Erwin should she come to Oregon and not give up her father into the hands of predatory professionals who see him as nothing more than a revenue stream. This is an impossible choice for Dr. Orme’s daughter that amounts to judicial blackmail and over-reach from the bench and an abuse of the judicial process.

The family is traumatized but saddled up and into the fight.

Rest assured that this is not the end of this story. Dr. Orme is lucky enough to have access to expert legal counsel, and a network of friends ready to help. One of his daughters has made a career of crafting true crime stories for film and television and works tirelessly with the FBI to support anti-human trafficking efforts. They will fight back against a predatory system and pursue any and all appropriate legal recourse.

The judge is up for re-election in May of 2024 and the professionals shall be reported.

But the message for anyone getting older or anyone looking after elder relatives - and that means everyone - is that they should avoid at all costs engaging with professional guardians, conservators, and especially their bullying lawyers in any part of America.

Kristin Booth Glen, a former New York judge who helped craft oversight in that state said, “Keeping people out of guardianship in the first place is the single most important thing to do, because once you’re in it, it’s the toilet you get flushed down.”

Photos: Above: Maynard and me reading this article. Below: Video o Maynard fact checking, Maynard and Jennifer at his grandkid's baseball game, Maynard escaping Oregon with Jennifer, Maynard showing me around his friend's collection of automata, Maynard with one of the engines at his Oregon Rail Heritage Foundation.

#MAYNARDORME #FREEMAYNARD #ClackamasCounty #ConservatorFraud

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tigorrrr · 3 months

Text

Name: Nejteri

Age: ??? (6 years younger than Shao)

Height: 150cm

Weight: 83kg

Breast size: D

Species: a TaiGore humanoid (it's said they're extinct)

Resides: Outworld

Fighting styles: Kung-Fu, Muay Thai, Taekwondo/Kickboxing

Appearance: Relatively a small woman for her age but her limbs are honed with broad muscles, she's agile and very fast, most of her strength is in her legs. From a malnourished child that Mistress Eileithyia had found on steep mountains, under a proper care and training provided by the military family Nejteri grew up to be a decent fighter although she avoids fights if possible. Her body - back and front - although less lean and has more natural body fat that just stays there. Hair that she keeps short curls up naturally, if it were longer the locks would be more straight.

She usually wears sleeve-less clothes when not being a caretaker for the day and leans towards more darker colors, sometimes she does like a pop of red or orange. The set of earrings were her first ever gift from Shao and his brothers when she was nearing her adulthood, right before she left the family.

Nejteri has a cat-like shaped eyes, scleras are a darker color of blue. Her ocean-blue eyes glow in the dark.

She rarely transforms into her TaiGore form but when she does she reaches to 200cm. Her predatory sense of scent is ten times more efficent, if she were to track her prey only crossing a water would help them shake her off.

Her diet is strictly meat, raw or cooked, if she'd eat anything else her stomach wouldn't digest it and her body would be forced to throw up.

Personality: as she got older she became more mellow, before then she was a meek, silent type that would get hostile if feeling threatened. Nejteri is quite dense and socially awkward when interacting with people, she doesn't have that issue with kids from teens to infants - her gentleness comes out naturally when around them. She may look level-headed but it's quite easy for her to loose her cool at certain situations.

Past life: Nejteri doesn't remember anything clearly before she was found by Shao's mother, only that she was always on the move with bad living conditions around jungles and mountains. She was taken in to their family to be sort of Shao's maid/caretaker for he was constantly sick and needed someone by his side 24/7. The family members were relatively kind to her, even let her to participate with Master's sons training at times, most brothers treated her either like a sister or a friend or an useless addition. Nejteri left them as soon as she became an adult, not being needed to be by Shao's side any longer, she traveled around the Realm before settling in the main capital.

After so many years and Wars she'd met Shao again, now a general, with an-almost-teen boy he had been training under his wing. Although they met rarely, Nejteri came to just look at Shao when he was at work with his General duties from far away, but always went out her way to see Reiko every day.

Present life: currently, Nejteri is a kindergarten teacher for most days and a self-defence trainer during afternoons, if she isn't busy with either of those she likes to take a trip for a few days into forests to hunt and free her tiger spirit.

Relationship status: complicated

Adopted son: Reiko

KOMBAT INTROS

Shao: If you give up now I promise you will walk out without broken bones, Cub.

Nejteri: I broke your arm before, don't be such an arrogant cad, Sh'o.

Nejteri: If you were a good General, then you'd listen to reason.

Shao: You don't know the first thing what it takes to be a leader. Just worry about your toddlers, midget.

Shao: You really think you can handle me? I've grown stronger... and taller since the last we fought.

Nejteri: What? Ya will go gentle on me? What a disappointment.

Nejteri: Third time's the charm, as they say.

Reiko: If I manage to beat you today, will we go get drinks for my success?

Reiko: Why did you chose their side?! I thought—

Nejteri: I'm on no one's side, kid! I don't want a war and have many other children go through the same pain as you did.

Nejteri: You became quite stubborn, may be my side of the family...

Reiko: And? Should I say; 'thank you mother'?

Shang Tsung: It's a shame you don't wish to join us, I quite liked your elan.

Nejteri: Can't say I ever liked anything about you, you scumbag.

Nejteri: There was always a foul stanch about you!

Shang Tsung: That was the reason for your cold shoulder, dear?

Nejteri: I won't let you hurt them!!

Shang Tsung: They lost to me because they were weak. You shouldn't have coddle them, Nejteri.

#Nejteri #i will add more intros in time

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roseunspindle · 2 years

Text

MHA Pirate World

Class 1-A finds themselves transported to a world comprised mostly of oceans, (it had had larger landmasses in the past but due to two water mages decided to have an epic battle the ocean levels rose a lot, very quickly which lead to people not having much, and well, oceans, needing stuff other people have, = piracy) where piracy is the primary way of life and in order to potentially return home (there is supposedly a island that is stable doorway between worlds (as opposed to the random temporary portal they fell through) they must band together to form their own crew, try not to be pressganged into other crews, captured as slaves, hung as criminals in unfriendly ports, or die of scurvy. (Momo is pretty much god now.) And, well being a crew comprised of heroes, they start helping instead of hurting, though are careful to keep Momo’s abilities under wraps as they’d never know peace if people knew Momo could even make food.) Toru gains confidence even greater in her abilities and usefulness as she’s their advance scout (being invisible is useful).

Sero, Ochako, and Tsuyu adopt the sails and rigging as their home and charge. Tenya is navigator and bo’sun (izuku is happy that they are from the top school in japan, learning navigational math is a lot easier coming from that background)

Denki and Mina declare themselves “the captain’s companions” for no other reason than they may have gotten into the grog, and were very fond of pirate romances and poor Izuku (their erstwhile captain to Bakugou’s impotent rage) now has both of them sharing his cabin (which he’d been trying to share anyway because it seemed selfish to have all that space to himself). Now he has to contend with Mina and Denki dressing “slutty pirate” (there own word choice) and horrible tendency to regale people at port with his “demanding ways” (he generally demands that they a.) wear clothing while in the cabin and b.) stop singing “a pirates life for me” and “99 bottles of beer on the wall” incessantly.

Kirishima has pretty much opted to pretend shirts don’t exist, neither do shoes, bakugou has also opted to go shirtless (or for some reason have his shirts unbuttoned so far their isn’t a point to them) Momo has been delighted making everyone “world appropriate clothing) look she likes dress-up and now the entire class is her dress up doll.

Momo, also a long time romance fan laments losing the chance of being “the captains woman” in a situation safe and fun situation. (Mina and Denki cheerfully offer to let her join them in “the cabin of sin” (Ururaka has to catch Izuku before he flings himself overboard in embarrassed woe) Momo delightedly joins and Izuku questions why he was weird for liking heroes when his classmates are apparently much, much weirder. He does try to play along with them in public as it makes them happy, but mostly “playing along” means standing or sitting there looking bored or intimidating (he can if he really tries) while they as a trio or in different configurations drape themselves over him in various states of dress/undress.

Bakugou continues to be a problem, always trying to “go off on his own” and his rudeness often causing them to have to flee some ports. He openly mocks Izuku and at times has endangered the crew enough that even Kirishima had started avoiding him. It might have gone on if they hadn’t found the slave ship. Seeing the hopeless flat look in people’s eyes, their dull dread of what their new captors would do to them... it’s haunting. Adults and children alike, chained to the walls with only a bit of floor (coated in their own excrement) to sleep and sit.

Tenya and Shoji end up being their primary caretakers while they head to a port they know will help these people. Tenya because he telegraphs nearly every move he makes and his straight forward way of talking eases nervousness. Shoji due to being the closest they had to a ships doctor, and his gentleness eventually cut through anyone’s fear of his physical form and a few of the children even took to riding around on his back, peacefully enclosed in his arms).

Bakugou, who had been sharing the role of ships cook with Rikido seemed suddenly possessed with cooking simple things the people could eat and seemed to have finally, finally realized what All Might and Izuku and the others meant when they said they “wanted to save people”.

Needless to say after they drop of that group (minus 2 children a boy and girl who had adopted Shoji as their parent) the class crew meet on deck and take a vote. Continue to the supposed island to maybe go home? Or stay here, where there were many people who needed saving, a world full of terror, that truthfully seemed to need them... how many ports welcomed them now? Because they brought medicine or food or even connected to places to each other that could each provide what the other needed..

The vote to stay is unanimous (maybe they’ll reach the island, but all that passes though is letters of farewell.)

https://www.pinterest.com/roseunspindle/mha-aus/mha-pirate-au/

#Pirate AU #kinda #my hero academia #pirates

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Desexualized Mammy & Strong Black Woman, too busy for “frivolous love”

“Alyse” (Anon Submission) asked:

My science fiction story includes a black woman (Talia) who raises two children that aren’t her own and takes on two young adults as apprentices. One of the children she is raises has Arabic background and was taken into her home upon his father’s death (his mother’s whereabouts are unknown). She was a close friend of his father and the closest thing he had to a relative. The second child has mixed French-Latinx background and was taken in after becoming shipwrecked with no means by which to contact her people. Talia was the first non-hostile individual she encountered and one of the few who would so openly embrace a stranger. Since Talia is Master Medic (the highest medical authority in her community) she is training two apprentices (think residency) and eventually mentors the second child as well. She was once married and passionately in love but lost her husband to illness. In this setting, some technology we take for granted is inaccessible and violence against their people is commonplace. Most have experienced sudden loss. This particular loss was the catalyst that drove Talia into medicine- a desire to protect her loved ones and prevent others from experiencing similar tragedy. She is usually kind (though businesslike) but sometimes succumbs to a frigid, furious depression when, despite all her knowledge and determination, she can’t save someone.

I worry that her maternal association with the two children (one of whom is an outsider) mires her in the mammy trope. On top of that, she hasn’t pursued romance since the death of her husband. I’ve considered giving her a romantic subplot but there are already so many characters to keep track of. Furthermore, I just can’t see her engaging in the frivolous pursuits of new love when she’s dealing with kids, students, and an extremely taxing career.

In terms of race and culture in this story, practically every character can trace their ancestry back to populations displaced through war. Even Talia’s second child was shipwrecked during a botched evacuation from a military science lab. The people who live here have been isolated for generations and no longer have a real concept of their ancestry. Cultures have blended, new religions have formed, and many of our familiar racial/ethnic issues are forgotten. However, new and different but equally toxic ones have replaced them. In this way, Talia’s blackness doesn’t carry the same associations in her world as it would in ours. However, readers may still make these associations. Do you see any issues with her character that I could amend?

So! You have:

A highly educated Black-coded woman (the highest medical authority in the community)

She raises two kids alone

She also looks after two apprentices

She is widowed (not sure the race of the husband, was he Black?)

Having experienced heartbreaking love, Talia's drive to look after, protect and save people through medicine is a great motivation for the way she is. Her experiencing depression and taking losses seriously is also very human and is dynamic characterization.

However, such characterization with Black women is prone to brush across several tropes. You have a Black woman who gives and protects, but what does she get in return? Who cares for her?

Prioritize your Black character’s happiness

"I’ve considered giving her a romantic subplot but there are already so many characters to keep track of. Furthermore, I just can’t see her engaging in the frivolous pursuits of new love when she’s dealing with kids, students, and an extremely taxing career."

Priorities, priorities. Is love a frivolous pursuit in her eyes, or yours? Because I strongly disagree. You probably don't mean to but you, as the author, having an excuse to NOT give the Black woman romance is showing that you do not think she's worth being loved. TV viewers and stans who are uncomfortable when Black women characters have relationships find similar excuses to explain away not wanting BW in relationships.

"She's too strong and independent for a man/relationship"

"I liked her better alone."

"It'll take away from her character."

“A romance doesn’t feel right for her”

These sorts of statements above are grounded in racialized misogyny.

Relationships do not lessen the woman.

Relationships does not lessen Black women.

Love

Whether that love is romantic, familial, or friendship, it can come in many forms. Give Talia love. Because Black women characters deserve it! Either one or all!

Let her have a loyal best friend, a cat, and a girlfriend. Because why not? And not to downplay the love of children to parents, but please provide her love beyond what she gets on a maternal level from the children she looks after.

The stories that Black women are in today severely lack love for us, so why add to the narrative of Black women being all work and no play, and too [insert excuse here] to be loved?

Of course, you didn't provide all the details from your story, but I'm not seeing much of a balance from the struggle. She is a caretaker, teacher, doctor (or doctor-like figure).

Her position and background in itself is okay. It's the Strong Black Woman being presented with seemingly no commentary that strikes me.

Where is her team to help balance the weight of the world?

Who takes care of her when she's depressed from another loss?

What does she get in return from taking an emotional and physical toll to heal her community?

Do those around her recognize all she does for them and offer their friendship?

When does she get to relax and turn off the need to be everything for everybody?

Fitting love into a book with many characters

There are many books with several characters to keep track of. People tend to manage. Also, I'm sure some of those characters are in and/or out of relationships. Even stories that couldn’t be classified as romances have relationships of some sort. It’s unrealistic to have a ton of characters and none of them be in relationship(s) of some sort. Not when there’s so many forms of it and many sexualities.

Friends, frenemies, enemies, romance, affairs.. Relationships make stories (and life) interesting. By no means do I think adding these dynamics harm your tale. And what’s one more for a hard-working Black woman who sacrifices a lot and clearly deserves a shoulder to lean on? And, if you use an existing character to be that friend, family, or lover, then you won’t need to pencil in another character.

For romance specifically - I think a misconception when it comes to including romance in stories is that they have to somehow take over the story. Romance does not have to bombard the plot nor be described in lavish detail. Not every story is a romance and those sort of details aren’t everyone’s style or things they’re comfortable with. A sentence or two establishing relationships does not take away from the story.And how those relationships look and affections expressed will vary based on the characters, sexuality, etc.

Not every character needs to have a deep level of detail.

“Katie and Lisa, a newly engaged couple, walked into the meeting.”

“Jack and Jamie are a married couple in their 40s.”

“The two met in college. After two months of blissful courtship, they eloped, eager to start their happily ever afters. Twenty years together, they were still blissfully in love and never too far from one another.”

Sentences like the above are enough for some characters. You don’t always need to put in paragraphs worth of relationship-establishing details or plot.

When it comes to the characters whose love you would like to highlight, at least a bit, you still don’t have to go over the top.

Use subtle details.

“As soon as Talia’s back was turned, he gave her a longing look before shaking his head and getting back to the patient.”

“He squeezed her hand before taking hold of the stethoscope.”

“She kissed her wife goodbye before racing out the door.”

“You mean the world to me.” he had said, holding her face. Those words stayed with her all day, making her heavy load light as a sack of feathers.

“She soaked his shirt with her tears and he just held her tight, saying nothing, silently holding her together.”

As for Talia specifically…

Talia having the mindset you described, as love being frivolous and not a priority, is understandable knowing her background (I just don't agree with you as the creator using this as a means to keep her alone. Whether she’s romantically alone or without close friendships). She has lost so much, and continues to experience loss with patients. This can be extremely traumatizing. I gave some examples of being subtle, so perhaps that will help with the burden of feeling a thick subplot of romance doesn’t fit in your story.

And as Talia doesn’t strike me as someone who would go looking for companionship, what if she stumbles upon it without trying? Is there someone on the medical team that can offer her friendship? Someone who admires her and feels the urge to care for her that she feels the same for, or has pushed feelings down for? What happens when she can’t hold those feelings down anymore?

Takeaway

Talia deserves healthy love, even if she doesn’t believe it or feel she has time for it. That love can come in any and many forms, not necessarily romantically required, although it is a plus. A struggle-ridden novel is balanced by love, support and rest for characters that hold the weight of the world. If you do not, evaluate why you want to write Black characters in these struggle roles without at least a social commentary.

~Mod Colette

#Black women #Strong Black Woman #Mammy #relationships #romance #asks

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necros-writing-stuff · 3 years

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"You're joking." Bailey took another drag from his cigarette, an unamused glare leveled at his only real friend. Eden sat across from him, on the other side of his desk. The chair he was in, too small for his height and weight. It creaked when the hunter shifted, sitting up straighter in the chair ment for children and teens.

"I'm not." Eden's deadpan expression and monotone response felt like a punch in the gut. Or a knife in the back. Not that Bailey would let him know that.

The caretaker let out a cloud of smoke before snuffing his cigarette in the ashtray to his left. He opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, the cheap stuff you used to get wasted fast. He kept the good stuff at home, the expensive, quality kind ment to be sipped on while reading by the fire, his spouse's head in his lap. Resting, or blowing him; he didn't care which. God, he wished he could be there instead right now.

The cap of the bottle was uncerimoniously flicked off, bouncing off the wall and landing in the trash across the room. Bailey brought the glass to his lips and began drinking the amber liquid.

"Nice shot-"

"Don't fucking start with me, Eden." Bailey snapped, bringing the whiskey down hard on his desk. The sound was a lot louder in the otherwise quiet room. For a moment, the only sound was from his ancient computer. The monitor humming with life. He had three new emails from high paying clients, but he couldn't focus on anything but the sick joke in front of him.

"You're being childish." Eden grunted, shifting in the wooden chair.

"Childish? I'm being childish?! You're the one who's trying to fuck my kid!" Bailey's hands came down on the desk, his chair pushed out from under him as he stood. Eden quirked an eyebrow.

"You sell children all the time. Figured it'd be the same with that one." He shrugged, much too calm for Bailey's liking. He grit his teeth and breathed heavy out his nose. There'd be no good in killing Eden. He'd feel bad about it, his kid would be crushed and, most importantly, his spouse would be upset.

He used his foot to drag his leather office chair back to him and ran his hands through his hair, mussing it. He dropped back down in his seat and glowered at his "friend".

"It's different with my kid." He said sternly. He hadn't kept many secrets from Eden in regards to his home life. Hell, he let you visit him! Eden knew damn well you were one of two people he gave a shit about and yet here he was!

"Is it because your spouse?" Eden asked, cocking his head to the side like a dog. He spent too much time in the woods. He was going feral. He was going fucking feral and he wanted to buy Bailey's only (actual) child. He didn't give a shit if you were an adult, almost finished with high school and ready for uni. He was your father damn it! You were still a baby to him!

"No. It's not because of my spouse." Before he felt the itch to grab his gun itch up his arm, he took another long swig of whiskey. How could Eden not get it? He was like family to you! To him! What the actual fuck?!

"You think someone else would take better care of them?" Eden countered. Had Bailey said that out loud? Regardless, the caretaker pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That's not the point Eden." He let out a defeated groan.

"What is?" Bailey stared hard at Eden, searching for any hint of humor or malice, or anything that might give away that his childhood friend didn't actually want to bone his baby.

"The point," He found none. Bailey ran his hands through his hair again.

"Eden, is that you're like an uncle to them. It's as close to incestuous as you could possibly get. Not only that, you're significantly older than them and quite frankly," Bailey pulled out another cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag before letting the smoke fill the air between them.

"I'd rather they leave for uni and never have to come back here. I don't want them living in the forest with a man who's forgotten basic decencies. Like not requesting to engage in sexual acts with their friends' kid." Bailey held his fresh cig between his middle and ring fingers, studying Eden. He didn't want it to come to blood, but he'd done worse things in his life. Eden chuckled.

"So there's something you won't take money for." He said, his smile genuine and amused. His spouse would be so upset if he killed Eden. They'd be so, so disappointed if he went home with bruises and bloody knuckles from beating the shit out of their friend. He was sure they would understand, of course, he just didn't want them knowing it came to blows. His perfect little spouse was already aware of all the horrible, fucked up shit he did. He didn't want to push it.

"Two somethings." Bailey corrected. He had a small picture of you and your other parent hidden in his desk. Helped him not kill the orphans that were too young to sell. It was also helping him resist the urge to smash the half drank bottle of whiskey over Eden's head.

"I'm not asking for you to pimp them out." Eden spoke like they were talking about the weather. Like Bailey wasn't doing his damndest not to kill him.

"I said, I wanted to buy them. For keeps." Bailey flicked the ash off his cigarette.

"And what does for keeps mean?" Bailey could see the gears turning in Eden's head. He didn't like it. Eden wasn't dumb muscle. He was strong, sure but he was also smart and resourceful. That made him dangerous. After an agonizing minute passed, Eden spoke.

"Like you and your spouse." Bailey blinked slowly, dumbfounded.

"You want to marry my eighteen year old. Who you've known since they were an infant."

"Yes." Bailey sat back in his chair and pulled a phone from his pocket. Not one of his burner phones he used for criminal activity, but one he bought specifically to contact you and his spouse. He quickly selected your other parent's number and called them.

The pair listened as it rang, and a soft voice came from the line. The sound of something boiling and the clattering of dishes could be heard in the background.

"Hello?" Bailey's spouse answered. Bailey ran his free hand through his hair again, further wrecking it. He was an incredibly prideful man. If Eden had been anyone else, he'd be dead. If his spouse was anyone else, he wouldn't speak to them. If you were anyone else, he wouldn't give a shit. But three strikes and he's out.

"Eden's lost his mind. I can't speak with him. Please explain to him why he can't marry our child." He knew he sounded pathetic and defeated. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. Thus, he chose the option that wouldn't affect his marriage.

"I'll be there in five." Oh. They sounded so... Angry. He hadn't expected that. They were always so soft and gentle, they rarely got really, truly angry at any one person. Of course, this was their baby they were talking about. You were as precious to them as you were Bailey.

Eden seemed just as curious to see them pissed off as he was.

(- anon 🚩 then Prequel!pc showed up, the three of them yelled at eachother, exchanging low blows and personal insults and then current!pc came in cause no one was home and eden proposed and they said yes and they left together and fucked for a whooooooooole week. The end.)

Oh what I would give to be a fly on that wall.

And you just know Current-PC and Eden would come visit for dinner every week and Bailey would have to sit there while his best friend hand-feeds his kid, who still sits in his lap regardless of where they are. Pre-PC might purposefully burn Eden’s food.

#🚩 anon #younger au #spill your guts #Eden the Lonely #Bailey the Caretaker #others stuff

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brightbeautifulthings · 2 years

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The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

"'Don't you wish you were here?' he whispered. Oh yes. He thought he might wish that more than anything."

Year Read: 2022

Rating: 3/5

About: Linus Baker leads a quiet life as a caseworker for the Department in Charge Of Magical Youth, where he investigates orphanages with magical or supernatural children. He's the last person to want a more exciting life, but when he's handed the most important case of his career, it seems he doesn't have much choice. Linus travels to Marsyas Island Orphanage, home of six of the most unusual and dangerous children he's ever met and their quiet and dedicated caretaker, Arthur Parnassus. What he doesn't expect to find is, perhaps, the family he's been missing all along. Trigger warnings: child abuse, discrimination, hate crimes, mild violence, depression, fat-shaming, nightmares, cultural appropriation.

Thoughts: It's difficult to say this without sounding heartless, but this book is altogether too cutesy for me. I don't think it pretends to be anything other than mostly fluff and not a lot of substance, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's cozy and warm and happy, and I can see it bringing a lot of joy to people who love that sort of thing. But I have a cynical mind and a horror movie heart, and that's just not what I reach for when I need a break. Horror is my baseline, my reset button, and my comfort genre, and the "monsters" in this book are all precious cupcakes down to the Antichrist, without a lot of nuance. (Obviously, of course, the real monsters are the humans with all their bureaucracy and discrimination.)

I like the found family element of this novel and the soft affection between Linus and Arthur. I enjoyed their dynamic more than probably any other in the book, and I was pulling for their happy endings. Linus has an excellent character arc, and I feel like anyone who's ever put work before everything to the detriment of their happiness will be able to relate to him. I really struggled with the characters of the children though. As fun as it is getting to know the kinds of supernatural beings in this universe, and as creative as Klune is with some of them, I never once felt like there was an interaction in there that could happen with an actual child. Children's voices are hard to capture without making them sound too adult or too darling, and this falls hard on the side of too darling. I found myself wondering often if Klune had ever met or talked to a child.

I don't vibe with Klune's brand of dry humor, so most of the jokes fell flat for me. There's a lot of insipid moralizing going on too. Almost every event is turned into some sort of candy-coated message about how to be a better person and, again, it fell short of the mark for interactions with real children, who can sense condescension quick as anything. I struggled to figure out who the intended audience is. The novel is rather long and slow-moving, with very little action, and there are plenty of adult themes, which suggests an adult audience. However, the voice and interactions seemed aimed at a more middle grade level, and it creates an odd tension in the book. I'm not going to get into the way this novel was inspired by The Sixties Scoop in Canada, but I do recommend seeking out reviewers of color who address it.

#book review #t.j. klune #the house in the cerulean sea #adult fiction #fantasy #3/5 #rating: 3/5 #2022

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