#as always. if the anatomy is weird dont say anything i dont want to know
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very grateful for these dumbass jojo characters and the friends i never would have met if not for them :,^)
#diavolo#vinegar doppio#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#vento aureo#golden wind#my art#i havent been quite as into jojo lately but im getting kinda emotional about them rn#as always. if the anatomy is weird dont say anything i dont want to know
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the beach conversation is insane actually im always being so mean to 13 for how closed off she is but it's insane what she does here like "ive never been able to", "it's what my life is", "not because i dont want to"
shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much but lets play doctors and students and reenact the anatomy lesson dr nicolaes tulp you be the doctor and the students and i'll be the body hang on let me hold up a lamp so you can see what we're doing
shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much i locked my hearts in this rusty vault and lost the keys but if i had a spare i would give you it i swear i promise i know thats not enough but i'd give it to you
"i cant fix myself" is how she starts. "i'll be fine, in the end, hopefully" she says like an hour after regenerating after describing just how much it fucks her up and how scary it is and how painful and how much of a gamble, really, how much of a leap of faith and hoping for the best, hoping for that net to appear because if it doesnt......... theres no backup
are you alright, doctor? are you okay? yaz has asked a hundred times without getting an answer. and now she finally does and it seems to recontextualise every dodge that has come before. stop asking, it's not the end yet, theres still time, a little more patience, i will figure it out, i will be able to give you a yes eventually im sure of it.
but now it is the end, regeneration looms again, time is running out, and this endlessly delayed answer sounds like a resignation. i cant do it. not in time. maybe not ever. but definitely not before the plane crashes and i take you down with me. i broke the universe and i cant fix it. it's too late. i dawdled too much.
and what this could have been, but isnt, because neither of them take it this way, think of it this way, because theyre too much alike, and not like this at all, but what this could have been, in intention and reception, is a request for help. i give up, i cant figure this out, but can you? the doctor doesnt mean this, and yaz has always been too attentive to the limits, too respectful of the doctor's boundaries (from "who, me? no. never doubted. don't know what you mean" in ghost monument to "can we just live in the present") to misinterpret it this way. so theyre on the same page. a page, as always, decided on by the doctor. but it does make the perfect set up for the finale
because i do think, sort of, that yaz fixed it. not you know the millennia of trauma but the specific inability of 13 to trust people. the clara/river/missy/bill my-friends-die-or-are-not-what-they-seem-or-both cant-hold-anyones-hand-but-my-own inability to trust her friends are her friends and they will not like explode into gore and viscera if she touches them (which now that ive said it i bet is what she has nightmares about. perfect match with what i think yaz has nightmares about which is the doctor exploding into gore and viscera and not being able to do anything abt it. actually the best idea i think ive ever written abt what yaz has nightmares about is "or you take off your coat and youre wearing dynamite", but i digress) that, i think yaz sort of fixes when she saves the doctor and saves the world and i think if 13 had lived she'd have trusted yaz after that in a way she couldnt before and maybe even that realisation of "you saved my life" in that weird malleable state of post-pseudoregeneration might have had a hand in why 14 is the way he is
#anyway#Them#sonya voice: i still think abt it#can you believe its been 2 years since sea devils???what the fuck#woughhhhhhhhhh#i miss them#i miss writing thasmin in like................that space#i love writing yaz/14 it's very cathartic#like hello lets Talk About Things#yesterday i wrote 14 saying 'it's new! i love new. new is great' which was so nice#my 14 is a lot more 13 than 10. theres no 10 at all honestly i dont care abt him#yaz/14 is just.........thasmin Continued#but anyway i do miss writing them all.............never saying anything#that got tiring after 2 years and its nice to like catharse all that tension now with yaz/14 but#doesnt mean that tension isnt an interesting place you know?#but anyway change is part of love#its fun giving them new problems too fhgkghgjhjh
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i'm gonna ramble real quick about all the bad shit in my head.
tw ed maybe sh depression self hatred drugs
i lost about sixty pounds which is the most weight ive lost ever. a good chunk of that time i was living with a meth addict. which meant i was eating and sleeping on a methheads schedule plus he was kind of an asshole so it helped me hate myself and i was working on my feet a lot. that was almost two years ago now. since then ive had a best friend. it was an intense all consuming wonderful and terrible friendship. i made the decision to end the friendship bc i couldnt put myself first. i always wanted to put her first above everything and in some ways it made me resentful. and that wasnt fair to her. it was fair to either of us so i made the best decision i could. now im pretty sure shes trying to get back in contact with me after MONTHS of no contact and its freaking me out. ive started to gain weight i gained about ten pounds. and i hate myself for it. i hate myself. its to the point that i miss the old roommate. which feels a little like saying i miss meth but thats a weird parallel to a drug ive never personally had. i am in pain. all the time mentally and physically and my apartment is eviction level messy (i live in my grandmas basement so im safe). i get out of bed to work bc i have to and to play video games when my bf pesters me but i want to get up and do things. i want to have that random burst of energy and clean to my hearts content but it never comes. i have no energy and no motivation and i feel like i cant do anything or even think. i cant even finish a thought they go in and out of my head so fast its like im not thinking at all. but i cant turn it off unless im dead tired and i get up at 5:30am for work now and im so tired. i just want it all to stop. my head is so noisy i just want it all to stop. just let me sleep. let me be a person. the only time its quiet is when im doom scrolling or rewatching greys anatomy for the gazillionth time. and i thought maybe if i just vomitted my thoughts on here and got it out of my head things would be quiet but they arent its like a screeching whisper so far away but still there i can still hear it. it wont go away and im scared the only way to make it go away is to fill my head with sand like my last medication did. it got so bad i drove on the wrong side of the road for maybe a whole minute without even realizing. (it was a parking lot with no other cars but still) i hate everything and i want to cry and yell but i have no reason to. i want to quit my job that i started only a month ago i want to go out and get drunk and not have to think. i just need someone to help me. to take it all away and help me find the quiet. but even that i hate sitting in silence thats why i have greys playing all the time. i dont know anymore. just let me go
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I think in more recent years gynesexual has been used to describe an attraction to people who present themselves femininely regardless of what they identify as (ie feminine enbys), not specifically female anatomy, or at least that’s how most websites I’ve seen have described them and what Martyn seems to be going for
im all for definitions evolving for some people, and i will give him and scott the benefit of the doubt as theyre cis men that they dont know terf dogwhistles. but at the end of the day gyne/gyno is still a medical/scientific term to refer to reproductive female. so anything using those terms when talking about sexuality will always come off as transphobic to me.
also disclaimer before it turns into a thing: genital preference is whatever, ur allowed to have them. ur allowed to go 'hey i want nothing to do with penis' for whatever reason. its just personally weird if u say ur label is 'vaginas only'
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. rachel doesnt put anything under a grey lens so why would the fans? like persephone and hades and hera are always show as only good (w/ even their bad actions framed as good in one way or another) meanwhile zeus and apollo and minthe are always shown as bad. why should we be shocked demeter is also under the "look how abusive demeter is!" lens when thats how rachel has depicted her for years now? even her protecting her daughter was framed as bad, but good when hera and hades do the same thing!
2. I want to know how the fans think RS is above critique when even the most beloved artists ever were critiqued too? Are we seriously supposed to buy Rachel, an artist who can't even keep a basic color sheet or doesn't know basic anatomy, is somehow a better artist and thus shouldn't be critiqued over the likes of Da vinci, Michelangelo, and Van Gogh, all who were critiqued in their times? Like how egotistical do you have to be to think she's free from critique over the literal legends of art?
3. tbh i under the impression blogs like this and other "anti" spaces wouldnt need to exist if lo fans just ... let people actually have discussions and differing opinions and not rigidly police it so there is only mindless praise and thats it. like overwhelmingly every "anti" ive seen is fans or former fans who have to make their own space because the fandom is so full of "toxic positivity". even the lo discord mass banned people for asking for a single hour of "approved critique time" like what??
4. LO fans, their fanbase, and their comic is so wildly misogynistic which is weird bc it's made by a woman and the fans are overwhelming 12 year old girls to 20 year old women?? and they all claim to be super progressive and feminist?? like nah yall cant claim that while calling minthe a whore who deserves to be tortured and killed and demeter is a shrill karen who doesn't understand ~LOVE~ unlike the literal slave owner hades whose type is vulnerable young teeangers who dont know better lmao.
5. I honestly thought you guys were joking when you said how old Rachel actually is. I could have sworn off her writing and art alone she was maybe idk, 22? Not in her late 30s? Yall mean to tell me she's almost 40 damn years old and she still acts and writes like a teenager? Like at this rate she will literally be in her 40s when LO ends and it's just a jumbled mess of her self inserting on a born sexy yesterday 19 year old and her desperately wanting a billionaire slave owner to bang her? what??
From OP: Just so people know what anon is talking about, RS is currently 35 I believe (saw her mention it on twitter some time this year).
6. the difference between how LO uses Hades as a God of Wealth versus how others use it is that say Hadestown makes a clear point to use that status as a way to critique capitalism and how Hades, because of him using such cruel labor practices and hoarding wealth, is a bad thing. That's a way to use mythology in a way to tell a modern story. In comparison, LO has Hades owning slaves, abusing his employees, controlling all the resources, and hoarding wealth as a GOOD thing. That's the problem!
7. i do love the new excuse of "rachel has put so much time into this comic so you cant critique it" like yo that only makes it worse? like shes spent literal YEARS working on this comic and its still misogynistic, racist, ableist, homophobic, etc etc like how do you spent so much time on it and never improve and even make it worse? like do yall hear yourselves when you say that?
8. im sorry but webtoons HAS to update the banners and icons and stuff for LO by now because all of that was made in 2018 and the style does not match at ALL.
9. i would honestly buy more the idea of rs claiming shes trying to show shades of grey (heh) in the characters and relationships if like that was actually shown to us years ago and properly set up since the start? like you cant now be nearly four years into this and now claim youre showing them being complex and "not perfect" when you spent years making them as uncomplex as possible and framing only hxp and hera as "perfect"? thats not how writing works?
10. nah that other anon brings up a point i didnt consider. if the nymphs are designed as the "perfect women" (which yes side eye that obvs HAS to be just persephone clones) then why is persephone considered so desirable and unique then? theres thousands of these pink nymphs running around with actual personalities and are the most beautiful women ever, why wouldnt people prefer them to the slate persephone? she has nothing go for her beyond what, her boobs are bigger? easier to manipulate?
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january: an art retrospective
i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)
so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.
at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.
january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.
january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:
on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests
the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th
this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.
january 11th. applied sketch
january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i
bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes
i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.
sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start
january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit
more applied studies
on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real
january 19th. i’m working on it.
january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.
january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud
january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned
26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies
january 1st. january 31st
The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)
ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings
FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????
here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.
the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)
take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.
or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?
so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.
this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.
here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages
and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.
this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.
this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.
thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end
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Hai!! Hope your having a wonderful Day! I have sent a few requests but I think tumblr just waved them off or soemthing :^
Anyway! I have a lil request. You dont gotta do it if it's too boring but hos do you think Daniel's Characters would React if They had a Demiboy Partner- like female anatomy and an extremely femenin person but uses He/They/It pronouns^^"
No one actualy uses my pronouns irl so it would be wonderful to know how some of my fav characters would react <3
-V
Hello!!!
OMG, I am really sorry I never got your requests! But here we are so let’s see!
Laszlo Kreizler
He wouldn’t mind, he would go dead ass scientific on it, maybe asking too much questions every now and then.
I can see him inquiring you about your feelings and in different situations in particular if people get confused, but to him it will take he snap of a second to apply your chosen pronoun.
Being the old 1896 I am also sure he will use “Mr” too for you, he is a formal man, nobody can help this.
Baron Zemo
The man in the most open minded man you will ever meet. He won’t even ask you why or what brought you to that choice. You like it? You’ll get it.
It is always easier done than said with him, the easiness he will use over the matter will shock you maybe.
And when people will be confused look at you and then at him and being confused. He would just look at them with his head tilt and being like “Did I stutter?”
Andrea Marowski
Confused ass baby. He will ask all the dumb questions on the list and frown, and purse his lips using the bow of his violin to scratch the top of his head.
But after a first moment of confusion he wouldn’t actually mind it, probably making the most awkward long pauses before adding your pronoun but then he will look at you beaming from happiness because he didn’t fuck it up.
A very mad boy if somebody gets it wrong.
Niki Lauda
Niki is our ‘so what?’ man.
He would look at you and being like “good for you” as he doesn’t really pay attention to that stuff. You could ask him to call you the Dinosaur King of the Rat Race and he will be using it if it makes you happy.
Definitely the one roasting people that get it wrong irritating them by snapping his fingers in front of their face to wake up their brains.
Tony Balerdi
He would accept it pretty easily.
Probably showing up at your place the next day all wrapped up in his Burberry coat with a cake made in his restaurant with He/They/It scribbled over it with chocolate.
“Want to share?”
He would be super supportive, maybe slipping at the beginning but he is the kind of guy that can always catch himself back from an error.
Alex Kerner
He is the guy. He is the guy that will give you an heart attack rushing away in the moment you’d tell him only to come back a moment later because he will write it on the back of his hand with a marker “So I can remember at the beginning” He would say happy like it is the first day of the new year.
Probably the one feeling more guilty if he ever gets it wrong in public, countless sorry will be whispered in your ear.
Jan
You’d tell him probably during one of the countless nights spent at his place talking about life and politics and philosophy.
He would turn around and look at you dead serious before slowly opening up in a smile with a soft nod, his eyes telling it all.He will hand you a beer or anything you’re drinking in that moment and offer a toast “to fucking up the norms”.
He won’t get it wrong not even once.
Sebastian Zollner
He will get it wrong most of the times but you’ll end up falling for it because it will be a whole set of “fuck, shit, damn, no, I meant, fuck” and get like wavy hands and nervous ruffling his hair.
He is super supportive and will blow smoke in the face of anyone asking weird questions, but he has the brain on full speed and can’t always match what he thinks with what he says.
He loves you big time and gets all flustered that you’ll hate him, probably going to cry.
Ernst Schmidt
The man lives in the future.
He will probably buy you a badge with your pronouns and pin it up on your uniform.
He would smile at you and actually find every occasion to use your chosen pronouns.
Secretly waiting for Volkov to get it wrong so he can kick his ass, but he would do it nevertheless with anybody.
#dr laszlo kreizler#andrea marowski#baron helmut zemo#alex kerner#jan weingartner#jan the edukators#sebastian zöllner#tony balerdi#niki lauda#daniel bruhl#daniel bruehl#ernst schmidt
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More Lab stuff
(more insight regaurding the lab stuff i mentioned in the last post-)
reminder note: Siren and Sebastian were younger during this time, under 13 years old
oh and if this seems like its typed weird then its bc they were copied from texts so bare with me-)
more regaurding topic about the Lab arc !!
there's a detail regaurding that
so vervain and wolfsbane
those plants were extremely hard to get
(this has always been a thing in oc world-
or Crypttales, i should start saying the actual au name damn i have too many oc worlds- when did this happen 💀)
that's what made keeping Siren and Sebastian risky
they had enough to make them woozy
but not enough to make them pass out
thats why they were always awake during surgical procedures
vervain and wolfsbane was already being taken and used by hunters (the fact that monster hunters were stocked up on these plants is why werewolves and vampires became so "rare")
so the lab couldn't get a hold of those materials
these plants were only found in the wild
and again
monsted hunters are always working in the wild
so the hunters get to it first
anyways, at that Lab, they wanted to study everything about vampires and werewolves. there are plenty of reasons but i listed that in a past post
to be able to operate and keep them alive, they needed to understand the anatomy
and that was the challenge,,
so before getting a look on the insides and the cutting and all that, they dedicated a day before to understanding the outsides
so basically they reached horrifying levels of inhumane and had horrible methods such as overwhelming them/exhausting them in ways (strapping them down didn't work, even if they were woozy with vervain or wolfsbane, being strapped down wouldn't hold them because the adrenaline kicks in)
they never did the studying and the surgical procedures on the same day so at least Sebastian and Siren got a break- they'd just dump them back into their individual cell after gathering information to prepare for the surgical procedures the next day
ofc Kaleb didn't go near them after bc well, he can clearly tell by their behavior that they arnt in the appropriate state-
he was sad he couldn't help comfort them in any way but he at least brought Sebastian a boiled egg (Sebastians favorite food 🤩)
(Sebastian would be huddled in the corner growling at anyone who gets close, so Kaleb just gently rolled the boiled egg too him
meanwhile he couldn't even step into Sirens cell or else Siren would cling to him and not let go, he felt horrible about not being able to do anything for siren (tho Siren didn't really need any comforting, unlike Sebastian, he didn't care as much)
also Kaleb cried
a lot
about what happens to them overall
the only reason he stayed was bc he was the only one giving them a hint of love
after Siren and Sebastian got out
he stayed but with a new mission
to find a way to shut the lab down
he was never successful
until Sasha got older
she started to help him and they basically made it into what it is now (still studies supernatural creatures, but they dont make anyone suffer nor hold any supernaturals there as test subjects)
Kaleb didn't even know half of the things happening either until he was given more authority
luckily he found out about this immediately on his own, the moment he noticed that Siren was being more "clingy" and Sebastian was growling at people (which he rarely does)
he realized that something is wrong
the others were messing/experimenting with Siren and Sebastian's behavior aswell
he was never told about anything going on with them until after he got "promoted", he had to figure it out on his own
which scared him even more because "what if this isn't the only thing they're doing to them?"
(he didn't have access to info, he just had to keep Siren and Sebastian alive and healthy enough)
so yeah Siren and Sebastian were seen as animals and the fact that they were forced into their cryptic forms bc of vervain/wolfsbane didn't help
because with certain supernaturals (vampires, werewolves, and seamonsters) its a fine line between animal and being
and during this time, Sebastian and Siren leaned more towards "animal", and in their cryptic forms, being seen as a being is almost pure luck
they were nonverbal aswell in this arc
so yeah, no surprise that they mostly weren't seen as real beings during this time
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extra ramble i wanna add
Ever since the start of forming crypttails, this type of conflict between human and supernatural has been an existing thing! and it still is the biggest factor, and will most definitely have a much bigger play soon,,
The lab arc with Sebastian and Siren is the most direct thing regaurding this. Humans often dehumanized supernaturals, just like Sebastian and Siren delt with at that lab,,
Humans saw them as things like labrats, or potential power sources it wasn't one sided though, supernaturals saw humans as food and/or objects or "pets"
but there are plenty of peaceful/casual dynamics between the two, like Kaleb and Sasha in the lab arc, but also like everyone in the kingdom
and i love to play around with this,,
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Hawks x Reader
Because I'm a Hawks simp.
Info: reader has wings like Hawks but the quirk is a bit different let me explain, the wings can store water with the quirk you can control it and turn it to ice. The drawback is the more water you have in your wings the heavier the wings get and it gets harder to fly.
Lets go with the story
I was on a rooftop as the sun set on the horizon. I sat on the concrete as I watched the colours in the sky. It is hard to get used to this place I'm a pro hero to help out in Japan. The people here are pretty nice but the villains here are indeed quite difficult to handle.
My train of thoughts got interrupted by a cough behind me. As I turned around I saw the second best hero Hawks standing there.
He got closer as he said "what are you doing up here kid? Shouldn't you be heading to your dorm or something?" He say next to me "well I am my own person so I am allowed to be there I want to be." I continued looking to the horizon, sun almost gone "a sun set is so beautiful don't you think?" I said as I now started to look at the bird man next to me he looked at the horizon like I did.
"Yeah indeed it is beautiful. But I know something more beautiful." "What is it? Can I see it?" I asked if it was more beautiful than a sun set I needed to see it. Of course beauty is objective but if he thinks it's so beautiful I want to see why.
"Are you always like that? *chuckle* come on bird you basically see it every day." He chuckled when he looked at me I looked at him with big eyes trying to understand what he meant. "Something is see every day huh..." I thought in a mumble I heard him chuckle again and turned to him "how about a fly over the city? Maybe you understand then." He got up stretching his wings making him look a lot bigger. I got up too and stretched my (f/c) wings.
We both flew up to the sky. Than I was up in the sky I feel all my worries blow up into nothing. It's an amazing feeling.
"So what route should we take?" He asked me and I still had no idea about the area in total "wherever it can go!" I said I just wanted to fly and see the town more I only really got out for missions or when I first out I wasn't allowed really far.
We flew through the city it looked so gorgeous.
We continued flying until he stopped (I may not know wing anatomy or how birds fly I just thought that would be sweet)
"Hey can you take my hand?" He said, he sounded so calm it was intoxicating I took his and trying not to get our wings in the way so we don't fall. He looked at me straight in the eyes so lovingly. I just couldn't stop looking at him it's like all that existed was him.
He pulled me closer and kissed me it took me by surprise but then I kissed back. It felt magical just the danger of us falling keeping me from basically shutting down.
We stopped kissing after some time as he said "the only thing and most beautiful thing is you~"
I could feel my cheeks getting red "I-I think that you are the most handsome?" He started laughing a bit, I really have to learn flirting...
After that he agreed coming to my place to hang around more. My room is not full on decorated 'cause I didn't live here for long. It's pretty simple but I can live in it.
"Do you want anything?" I asked him "you by any chance?" He answered, I didn't know what to say. "Uhh." Was the only word I could make 'come on (y/n)! You can do better than this what's up with you!?' I thought in my head. He walked over me and hugged my waist "you know you are pretty adorable~" he got closer to my face as I finally found my confidence and my pride "well I do get a handsome bird in front of me~" and ha! Now he was caught of guard.
He looked surprised with a tint of blush on his face. He chuckled again "I guess I'm going to stay longer." And I didn't mind. As it was ready for bed and we both had work to do tomorrow we went to bed together. "Am I allowed to hug you?" The red bird asked "why so formal? Of course you can." Just as I said that he hugged me and we both fell asleep.
The next morning.
We both got to work Hawks went wherever he works at he never said I could've asked him but forgot.. So I entered my agency there was this weird program that tried to get people from different countries to join I'm from (c/y/c) (country of your choice) I remember Hawks visited one day to take a look. But we truly have many people from so many places Finland, Belgium, Thailand, Portugal, Canada, the US, and some more. I was top 3 from my country I left because I wanted to see something different.
I got assigned to a mission with someone from a different agency. I didn't mind as long as the person wasn't hard to deal with.
As I went to meet with my partner for the day I saw Hawks. Just Hawks. I wish I was kidding it was literally just him. "So you're my partner for the mission that ironic." He said to me. Wait. He is my partner for this? I looked dumbfounded. "Come on we got a mission to do will take a while." He went to the exit door so I ran after him. "You already know what we are supposed to do? I just gotten told I get assigned to someone." I said to him as i caught up to him.
"The mission is to find some weird stuff around the area there will be some numos trying to protect it though. Locals said that if you even see it you get the attention of them. So we find what we need to find kill some and that's the end." He explained "I could listen to your voice all dang day." I said for no ryme or reason he was pretty surprised by my comment though.
Plus point for me~
We went along our day flying g and trying to find those things and the stuff it seems like it's some techie stuff. I couldn't do really anything with it. As we headed to the last seen tech thing we found out it was surrounded by a large amount of those ememies. We got ready for our attack the bad thing was I didn't realise my things slowly got out of water and that meant I could do anything if it gets empty. So I tried just using water and less ice so I could reuse it.
But it still left me without any water in the end.
"Oh no... Hey Hawks I'm out of water! Could you lend me a feahter or something!?" I yelled to him if it was meant as a joke because of Feather or he should literally give me some is something I dont wan to decide on. "Sure thing pretty bird!" He yelled to me and threw one Feather towards one of the numos (someone pls how to you spell them?) After it hit the enemy I took the Feather and fought with it. After we were done we went back "thanks for the feather." I said to the blonde next to me "no huge problem but I want a payback." "And what would that be?" "Simple. A kiss on the lips." He said with a smug expression on his face "*cuckle* c'mon here~" as he said I kissed him on the lips just a sweet passionate one. "Happy now bird brain?" "I never could be happier."
I might like it here more than I expected
#my hero academia#hawks x reader#hawks#hawks x you#hawks x y/n#mha takami keigo#keigo takami#keigo x y/n#my hero academy x reader#bnha x reader#writing
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I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?
omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)
- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous
- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)
- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents
- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)
- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great
- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence
- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long
- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)
- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross
- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts
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teacher au !
(i only know how the american education system works + my school is very standard and could even be argued its worse than most public schools but thats my only point of reference ! ap stands for advanced placement and essentially means classes someone can take in hs and at the end of the year take a test, if the test is passed they gain college credit.)
roman: the loud drama teacher who doubles as the ap english teacher for the senior class. hes the teacher all the gay kids go to when they need to vent or just need advice. he makes his english class as interesting as possible; its the ap senior class so the entire course is focused on british literature, the shakespeare unit is always everybodys favorite bc roman knows so much and makes everything much easier to understand. his theatre classes are extremely chaotic and are his favorite classes of the day. the drama room is a safe space for a lot of the gay kids at school and roman makes sure hes in his room during lunch every day unless theres Important Teacher Buissness he needs to attend to. hes the director for the after school plays and 'makes' virgil codirect with him (hes in charge of all the techies). he has his favorite students (he would never admit it but like everyone Knows) who often view him as a parental/older brother type figure. hes stayed after school with kids for hours until their rides came and has even given kids rides home. hes really close to his kids and each year he cries when the senior class leaves. the theatre department doesnt get a lot of funding so roman works hard to put on shows that they can be proud of and each year he becomes more and more motivated to being new people into theatre.
logan: hes the junior year ap language + composition teacher !!! he tutors for every subject bc hes knowledgeable so he teaches basically every subject. a lot of kids go to his room during lunch + after school for tutoring and hes the reason half the school is actually passing their classes. he chose to teach language and compisition bc he loves language and being able to teach the importance of it. all of the students know just the right thing to say to get him off course and just talking about anything (theyre favorite thing is to ask about space) and he spends almost the entire period talking about that and not the actual lesson. logan + roman's english classes are next to each other and theres a door that seperates them. often times students will find sticky notes on the little window of the door that logan and roman have written for each other. all of the students think theyre secretly dating or at least WANT them to be. roman likes to go into logans class and be annoying when hes on his free period. hes also the debate teacher ! during free periods roman helps logan with his debate students. roman and logan often times get way too out of hand and their debates turn into a 'what not to do during a debate' example.
virgil: the art teacher ! theres only three art classes (beginning, intermediate, and ap) and he teaches all of them. during the start of the year hes fairly quiet and reserved but a lot of his students really like him. hes a very relaxed teacher and similar to roman gives a safe space for kids to hang out. a lot of the more reserved gay kids hang out in his room during lunch. he takes three days a week to make sure hes available to tutor during lunch, hes not as smart as logan but he has a good grasp on math so he helps a lot of his art students with their math work (theyre gay art kids ofc they dont know how to do math). virgil assigns the beginning + intermediate class to paint backgrounds for the plays and thats usually two weeks to a month that he takes his class to the drama room to work. its a way more loud atmosphere as roman also has classes going on. this is when a lot of the students see that virgil is not nearly as quiet and reserved as they thought. when hes around roman hes a lot more talkative; he's constantly jokingly making fun of roman and being a scarcastic pain in the ass. every year thats when his classes shift and hes a lot more open and fun with his classes. he plays music during class since hes not lecturing most of the time. he switches from playing classical to emo music, sometimes within the same day.
patton: hes the psychology teacher ! he only has two classes he actually teaches so when he isnt teaching hes actually a one of the two school psychologists (the other one being picani). he teaches two normal psych classes and leaves ap to janus ! hes a very hands on teacher and does lots of example based learning ! during lunch a lot of his students can be seen doing surveys to collect data for an assignment. as a school psychologist he makes sure to be as welcoming as possible, he understands why a lot of students dont want to see a school psychologist, they dont have a good rep. the kids who do see him though feel extremely safe and secure around him. hes really good at calming kids down from panic attacks, his office is filled with stim toys and theres at least 10 weighted blankets. some times kids come in just to take naps. virgil hangs out in his office a lot whenever students arent there. logan comes in on especially stressful days to either nap or read. roman borrows fidget toys from him on days where his adhd is particularly bad. remus comes in sometimes to get quick and weird psychology facts. janus and him have long discussions about philosophy and grade papers together !!
remus: anatomy and biology/ap bio teacher >:3 he is so insanley chaotic. he wanted to also teach chemistry but the principal (thomas) did NOT trust him to be around chemicals. disections are always fun ! he encourages students to NOT eat anything they disect bc hes alr tried it and it doesnt taste good (nobody knows if this is a joke or not). hes a very jokey teacher and is a fake asshole to all of his students. he is not a harsh grader at all and honestly even of a student dont get a single thing right on a test theyll probably pass as long as they tried ! roman often comes into his room during one of his free periods to tell stories about the borderline psychopathic shit remus used to do as a kid. theres a lot of storytelling in his class and each time the students are in disbelief. despite the chaos, remus is a really good teacher and everyone who takes his class learns a lot. hes definetly known to be one of the more interesting teachers and none of his classes are ever boring.
janus: he teaches ap psych, gov/econ (both normal and ap) and ap us history ! he has no free periods and he is completely ok with that. he and logan are both known for being chatty cathys and his ap psych class takes full advantage of that as a way to learn. although theyre different, janus talks a lot about philosophy to his psych students and applies a lot of what theyre learning to different philosophies. his gov/econ classes are more chaotic. theres a lot of debates and he still applies philosophy to a lot of the ideas he teaches in those classes. his ap us history class is the most chaotic. the debates in his gov/econ classes are more amoungst students but his us history class has held a lot of debates against janus and his more closeminded students. janus teaches a lot of stuff not normally taught like black history is america, native history, and a lot of the shit america did Wrong in the past and how its affecting the present. on top of his full class schedule hes the advisor for mock trial who meets afterschool. patton comes in to help the best he can (usually hes a 'what not to do' example). roman also comes in to help them make their roles the best they can possibly be
#sanders sides#roman sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#moceit#teacher au#ok so its technically morning bc its 5 am 😌#remus is based off my own anatomy teacher#he is a chaotic gremlin man and im sad i wont have him next year#he once told us he made a bet with a kid that he couldnt jump over his own arm#and the kid took him up on the bet like real money and the kid didnt do it right and broke his arm#to which my teacher called the nurse and gave him the money#he has wild stories esp abt his daughter lol#also logan getting distracted easily is based off my 8th grade science teacher#we asked him to tell us about the godfather movies and he spent the entire 50 min class talking about all of the god father movies#hes also an influence for remus bc he had wild stories and was a fake asshole to us#a kid had a little mark on his head from some like football accident i think ?#it wasnt big just like a little nic#and my teacher said 'oh its the mark from when yr mom trued to get ride of you it obv didnt work'#we had a discussion abt abortions at one of my table groups and he came up to us and said 'all you really need is a coat hanger'#we were 12 and that has stuck with me#he was also super passionate abt space and now he works at my local observatory#roman is based off my drama teacher bc i miss her :(#shes like a mom to me and the thot of not being able to see her for a long time is making me sad#i wrote this bc i miss school a lot which sounds whack#but like i wanna b a teacher school is important to me :((
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Topic: Pumping
TW: Dysphoria, genitals, clitoris, anatomy
What is Pumping?
Pumping is when you use a tool (a pump) to increase blood flow in your clitoris (herein referred to as T-Dick). Some people on Testosterone say that it can help with some growth if used regularly.
Will this help my T-Dick grow?
It will make it larger (not by much) for a short term as it causes more blood to be brought to the T-Dick. It does dissipate after the blood returns to normal.
With consistent long term use, the results vary. Some say they had substantial size difference. Others say it made no difference at all. It really just depends! So, if you want to try, be aware it may or may not work!
Does it hurt? And is it safe?
It may feel a tad weird at first. I certainly didn't know what I was feeling, I had never suctioned anything <down there> before. It should NOT hurt, it may be different, but pain is not normal. If there are blisters or severe bruising, release the air and slowly take it off. ALWAYS prep yourself before doing it to be safe, if you do the saftey stuff you're less likely to be injured. But, theres always a possibility.
Prep:
ALWAYS use lube and the correct equipment. Use lube on the inside of the suction cup and on your T-Dick. Also, you can warm up your T-Dick with a warm towel or hot shower as well as holding your cup to warm it. Just make sure everything is dry before use.
Something important, always make sure you are cleaning your supplies! Always always always! Heres a better explanation on prep
What do I use?
There are a lot of things to use. I'll put my suggestion in a link, as it was made for trans ppl specifically. It is also relatively inexpensive.
Always be safe! Clean your supplies, prep, if you feel something off then stop! Also, you by no means HAVE to do this! If you wants to try, then go for it! Do more research and such. If you dont, you're just as valid!
#ftm transgender#transgender#ftm#trans#trans boy#trans men#trans pride#ftm problems#ftm support#ftm transman
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:$ akjerjifldvsildsvi i- honestly im flattered. i clarify that im doing this in a non creepy way because i asked my friend if she wanted 2 see my bones and she said it was very jeffery dahmer of me. fortunately i do not have the desire to taste my collection nor do i yearn for human stew. so its just because i think theyre neat and i like looking at skeletons and seeing how they fit together plus how different animals can have similar anatomy but specialized parts! fun fact! did u know squirrel teeth are /long/ like they go up into the skull rlly far. i did not.
i store them mostly outside wherever the dogs cant get to em, except the ones ive finished cleaning that i can store on my shelf.i fear for the day when it inevitably gets knocked over and i have to try and located 100 little rodent bones in the carpet. cleaning them is a helluva process tho like so many buckets and the folks i cohabitate with do not like it when i wash bones or leave buckets in the bathroom so i am not allowed to bring a bone inside until its 100%. this is a fair rule, i suppose. i am also not allowed to use the kitchen pots for boiling anything thats not food. this is also fair but i figured if i wash it after it'd be fine. better safe than sorry when it comes to bacteria ig lol.
also dude i'd be frickin psyched if someone wanted to take some bones i LOVE sharing them. my friend who insinuated i will become a serial killer actually took one home with her. the rest of my friends have informed me bones do not make good birthday gifts, no matter how cool they are. again, fair. my little sister makes jewelry with them sometimes.
YES i wore gloves oh LORD i am far past the point in my life where i do any of this bull barehanded. thats a lie. i try to wear gloves most of the time, but admittedly i am very absent minded. ie, i didnt have gloves coming out of the office but i didnt want to just shove a dead bird in my pocket, so i took off my mask and wrapped it in that and then shoved it in my pocket. i try to carry around a plastic bag with me at all times just in case i see some bones or roadkill or something.
i actually super enjoy looking at viscera, and tendons and all that. even though its kinda gross (evidently, maggots enter the body through an animal's orifices, or are otherwise injected, leaving the skin intact. once you get the feathers off the bird you can see them moving around in there. its very horror movie). considering my family its just never been all that weird to me, death is a part of life and humanity is to learn.
...guys will really see an ask button and then tell their whole life story. its me im guys. sorry about the essay, i got excited jafheuijwhjdsih. i leave you with this; i am just some guy. im short and twitchy and i dont always understand when it is and isnt appropriate to talk about my interests. and in a way arent we all. fuck. i had another thing to say but i forgot. what was the skeletons favorite instrument? the trom-bone
so many points. john mulaney we dont have time to unpack all of that. you amaze me dead bird anon. i could read a book about your skeleton pickup habits. i’m gonna have to agree with your housemates on the no cleaning bones in the cooking pots thing though. something about the thinness of the line between life sustaining and death that really. hm. i get the like. weird curiosity about viscera and stuff though in a cant look away kind of thing. your sister sounds metal as fuck. real bone earrings. genetically goth family (the addams family?? do i have wednesday addams in my inbox??). in conclusion. my jaw was hanging open the entire time i read that
#tw animal death#i cant stop looking at this ask#i did not know that about squirrels but then where i live has no squirrels#asks#dead bird anon
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. you know whats also bad about the red eyes? not only do they look awful on persephone's pink color, they're not even a unique feature? like we've seen hades' eyes go red, we've seen eros' eyes go red, and ares' eyes are ALWAYS red, so even this idea its her "unique queenly trait" doesnt even hold up?? because we've seen it on other characters before?like at least the blue glowing eyes looked unique and even gave her a possessed, otherworldly look, something with the red eyes just dont have.
2. The faces in the latest ep (not fastpass).... Ew
3. I saw someone praise lore olympus art, specifically the ones where Apollo is playing his lyre and Daphne is covering her ears while her hair is split in two (yuck! Bad decision looks awful) so we can see Apollo, the one where she transforms into her hibernation state (weird perspective, chin and neck, I think, also what the hell was that supposed to be?) and the last one before cutting to Thanatos (which, I admit looks a little better that the other but I still got distracted Apollo's arm among other things).
Now, Rachel is a professional artist like 15-25 years older than me (I dunno her age) drawing one of the most liked webtoons.
I feel like I'm nitpicking or being too harsh or crazy because I think it is a little terrible and this person thinks it's amazing and I know art is subjective and all but like the difference of opinion is jarring. I am by no means a professional and my art leaves a lot to be desired and I guess I don't have incredibly high standards (or do I? I'm second guessing). Is it really that good?
Because I know that Smythe commits more than a few anatomy atrocities. I wanted to redraw a few panels two years ago and I noticed a few things that Don't Work Like That.
4. ok but that other anon is right. we shouldnt have to go off old tumblr asks or random tweets to understand what's going on and who the characters are. rachel doesnt realize you have to actually write whats going on, not putting the readers on a scavenger hunt trying to figure out what they're even reading.
5. im honestly surprised LO hasnt ruined more mother figures at this point. maybe maia will be next and depicted as neglectful and hermes is only the way he is because hes acting out to be noticed by her, maybe dione will slut shame aphrodite, who knows, the possibilities are endless when its about ruining every mother figure to prop persephone and hera up and to avoid giving the characters actual personalities that isnt dependent on mommy/daddy issues.
6. I hate the clothing choice for Daphne in run for your life. It felt like she was drawn in a sexualized manner when she shouldn’t have been because she was running away from a r*pist. Like she almost had a nip slip, we almost got her ass, it was like Rachel was trying to fit her butt and chest in a lot of the frames like some video game with the token woman character. Like if a different dress was choosen or how she made Daphne tie the dress, I just feel like Rachel can’t draw outside of pinup sexy that well. Like sexy is fine for sexy scenes but running away from a r*pist is not sexy. (I probably sounded really lame, but the way Rachel presents the story in a feminist way but can only draw one way in not even the same style is annoying)
7. Things I think would have been better for the story instead of focusing so much on HXP
-Expanding on Minthe’s and Hades beginning of their relationship (he couldn’t of fallen for her since she didn’t laugh at him and when she yelled at him said it’s not your fault but you have the hat I think that would have added to his character more to see him more than a 40 year old who hits on barely legal)
-Leto’s kidnapping of Demeter. Both we/are close with Hera, and probably know or each other or may have been friends. Like I wanna know how Leto kidnapped her but also how are they interacting since they probably know each other and Demeter probably had Hera’s back when Hera ended their friendship.
-Ares return to Aphrodite. We don’t get to see much of her character but we know this is something she’s wanted, but they way it was handled was so flat, We assume Aphrodite told Ares that his gf slept with his father to save their son but we don’t actual read any words between the couple. And then they’re living together. I wanna see how they actually interact and stay together like their better moments. Like how well did he settle in, did they talk about how long he left for or is he mad like come on that’s something interesting but I feel like RS can’t write outside of HXP
-the deal with Echo. Why do people think Echo could possibly be Hera’s gf if she’s her assistant. Yeah they do dirty work together BUT I didn’t get a wiff or sexual tension or anything. Was it that she was there with the doctor? It just seems like Hera is that CEO trope who has the assistant always by her now.
-a little more of Pysche and Aphrodite friendship. Like Pysche says Aphrodite is lonely (and we can assume a part of that is Ares) but also because she “doesn’t have many friends” so why not a solo scene of just the two of them being actual friends. Like what did Aphrodite say when she brought back a purple nymph that was gonna help them with their work.
-Hermes not talking about Persephone. I feel like that 99% of what his character is and then just a little bit of himbo.
-Maybe Thantos and Minthe started flirting/hooking up. We’re they friends first or flirts first? Was it after Hades and Minthe got into a fight or something else? What did Thantos like about Minthe and what does she like about him? Why did she stay with Hades with Thantos was there (it’s not like she wanted to be queen of the underworld) How did Thantoas and Thetis meet and become friends? Idk if I was seeing two guys and one of them actually liked my friend I might consider leaving Hades for him. But again hades did have the power to control everything in Minthe’s life (job, home, everything) I do like Daphne and Thantos But I feel like the transition could have been better if we knew more, but again RS can only focus on one thing and that’s HXP.
------FP Spoiler/Mention------
8. FP SPOILERS— I’m done. I’m really done. We called it. We FKN called it. They got married behind the readers back, Demeter didn’t respond to the question as she actively avoided it and time was up, Apollo is somehow involved in the trial- THIS WHOLE THING IS A MESS AND IM TIRED OF HOPING THAT IT GETS BETTER. Four FKN years of this??? I’m done with this Webtoon even though I’m FKN stuck in it. I’m so FKN done.
9. Fast Pass spoiler (kinda) OH MY GOD, I JUST REALIZED THE POMEGRANATE PIN IS JUST PASTED ON EVERY FRAME, NOT EVEN RE DRAWN FOR PERSPECTIVE, NO, JUST COPIED AND PASTED, REGARDLESS THE OUTFIT ANGLE AND LIGHTING, IT'S HILARIOUS!!!I mean, I knew the art was decaying, but this just made me laugh out loud of how bad it looked.
10. persephone’s pomegranate pin just looks like a giant fly that landed on her and won’t leave LMAO
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not to be mean or anything but the advice of “just do art who cares if it looks wrong (aka just not having enough practice to make people look past any flaw)” doesnt really work on everyone whos like, idk at least, working with art for a living or actually looking to appeal to people in some way, of course no one should have a bunch of pressure of them at the very start if you are just looking to pour out your sentiments as strictly a hobby, but if youre trying to tell a story or looking to make things that arent like static works all the time, but like there comes a point to me where i just see grown ass artists lacking discipline like at all and then beating themselves down that “oh my stuff just doesnt look as good as other bigger artist does” and the bigger artist is literally someone who does art and anatomy studies every few months and you are just there like “wow i wonder why you expect yourself to go to italy if youre literally taking a flight to mexico” like YOU ARE IN A COMPLETELY different road and you cant expect yourself to go towards the same goal if you dont even want to run because like, you just wanna do what you know best, and that is totally ok, but theres no shortcut to like , drawing better hands, you can copy other styles of hands all you want but theres always gonna be a thought in the back of your mind saying “this looks a bit weird i wonder why”, do you feel me? some people worry too much but then theres people that dont worry at all until they spiral down.
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CONSTELLLATIONS (PART ONE)
Summary: Being stuck in space with ARES was not your plan, especially when a certain someone finds out you haven’t been intimate with anyone in your life.
Notes: Virgin Reader x Chris Beck, swearing, NSFW (18+)
six months.
one hundred and twenty eight days.
You had been here already much longer than you had planned, but you were trained for the unexpected. In fact, most of the time someone like you knew it was bound to happen at least once in your career. When you were a little girl, there was something that always fascinated you - the stars. You would dream about them, hoping one day you could touch one - feel the energy they gave off. Now here you were, six months - one hundred and twenty eight days. You were picked for this mission by some kind of miracle, it didn’t happen often for someone who had just graduated. Then again, you were top in your class - that might have had something to do with it. There was five other people who were highly trained in this type of field on board with you, six other people you had gotten to know very well in the past six months. It was described as an elite team. There was Martinez, who was trained originally trained as a fighter pilot - he was more on the humorous side. There was Watney - trained botanist and chicago native. Vogel - he didn’t say much but he was both genius in chemistry and astrophysics. Johanssen - she was your favorite, the two of you had bonded over the months, she was incredible with software engineering, as were you.Commander Lewis. She was someone you had definitely heard about - and looked up to. She graduated with honors at the US Naval Academy, you knew she was a badass. Finally, there was the one person you’d known longer than anyone else aboard the spacecraft. Dr Christopher Beck. You met him long before the rest of the crew, in graduate cum laude Yale university. You’d like to say that the two of you were friends, but your paths hardly ever met unless it was in class every so often. In all honestly, you thought he was handsome. He was highly trained in flight surgeon detail, and you also knew his extensive training in aerospace medicine. The team was set for a six month mission. Typical EVA space walks to be done. But in recent light of events, although NASA explained little at the moment, your mission had been extended. It almost felt like part of your DNA, knowing just how much you had to sacrifice for this kind of life. But having the people around you here in space, it helped ease the wanting of going home. You watched carefully, the team surrounded at the table in the spacecraft. Martinez had already started up a conversation.
“What’s something you could really go for on earth right now?” He laughed out, his eyes searching the crew.
“I could go for pizza, to be honest.” Johanssen laughed lightly, earning a grin from you.
“I definitely miss coffee.” You sighed out, thinking just how much you could use a starbucks right now.
“Of course you would say that.” Beck chuckled lowly to you, causing you to give him a teasing glare.
“Sex.” Martinez blurted out, causing the team to groan lightly.
“Come on, Martinez. That’s not appropriate.” Lewis smirked lightly to his forward comment.
The team laughed in unison, and you smiled nervously. You heard the low murmurs of agreement, and there was something that popped in your mind. You wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t know if you missed it or not - because that was a void in your life. You thought your nervous reaction was unoticed, but you saw Chris’ eyes on you for just a lingering moment.
“I would say I definitely miss watching netflix.” You coughed lightly, wanting desperately to change the subject.
“Oh definitely. Catch up on Grey’s Anatomy.” Johanssen motioned to you, Vogel also nodding in agreement.
You took a sigh of relief, knowing you were off the subject you knew absolutely embarrassingly nothing about. You looked to Beck once again, he was laying across the couch nearest to the table now. You watched carefully as he fumbled a deck of cards in his hands, you met his eyes in a soft smirk. You wondered if he had taken notice once again of your dodging attitude. You bit you lip quickly, deciding to shake it off, not think anything of it.
It had been a couple days since what Martinez mentioned, and you wouldn’t be human if you didnt think about it. You wondered if that made you look almost childish. You were certainly old enough, it just never happened for you. Being at school, working hard to get where you are now - you didnt have time to even think about sex. There wasn’t exactly a long line either. Your mind let the thoughts fade away into something much more important at this moment. You gripped the small photo, it was completely battered - even a light tear at the top. It wasn’t all that old, you just stared at it so often it had gotten worn down. It was of you and the most important person in your life, your mother. This was another sacrifice. You traced your hands over the worn out photo, thinking of how much she needed you now. She was diagnosed with cancer five months ago, she had been in and out of the hospital through all of this without you. You father passed away years ago - you had no siblings. Your mother was pretty much all you had for her whole life. She had supported your dream from the very start, you could remember her setting up the glowing stars that stuck to the wall in your room when you were little. It nearly killed you knowing you couldn’t be there, hold her hand through all of this.
“How is she doing?”
Your thoughts were abruptly stopped by a familiar voice, Chris.
“I-Im not sure.” You mumbled, your thumb tightening to the photo.
“When was the last time you talked to her?” Beck bent down to the floor, taking a seat beside you.
You waited a moment, staring out into the beautiful view of the earth below you, “About a month.”
“Hey, just think of how happy she’ll be to see you.” Beck nudged you softly with his arm, and you gave him a polite smile.
“I just hope I get there in time.” You sighed, putting the photo back in your pocket.
“Wanna play cards?” Beck motioned, “Might take your mind off things. Just for a little while.”
You smiled genuinely once again, taking his hand as he helped you on your feet, “Sure, why not?”
The two of you sat across from each other, and this wasn’t exactly an odd occurrence. You played cards, board games, you name it. It was always with Beck, the two of you had been the only ones to really get into the games. Words were hardly exchanged, but it wasn’t an awkward silence - not in the least. It felt comfortable. Peaceful almost.
“So you planning on getting a latte as soon as we get home?” Beck chuckled lowly, dealing out cards.
“You bet your ass I am.” You grinned at his comment meant for teasing.
“I think I’m going to find a nice restaurant, and buy a steak.” Chris smiled, his eyes meeting yours.
It was something you recognized right off the bat with him, his eyes were almost piercing blue. It was the kind of eyes that you could tell all your secrets to. It was the kind of eyes that would get any kind of woman in trouble. But of course, you never lingered too long on his eyes. Otherwise thoughts would enter your mind that would break countless rules aboard a spacecraft.
“Steak sounds amazing right now.” You grinned softly, looking away from his gaze.
“Martinez wasn’t lying the other day about some others things to miss, huh?” Chris smirked lightly to you, and suddenly you felt your heartbeat pick up.
“Uh- sure.” You stammered, feeling your cheeks redden lightly.
“Why do you do that?” He leaned forward, his brow knitting in confusion.
“Do what?” You flickered your eyes away from his.
“You get all…weird.” Chris chuckled out, leaning back once again, “kinda twitchy almost.”
“Come on, I do not.” You laughed it off nervously.
“See, That. right there. You just got all weird.” Chris nudged you playfully.
“Chris, I dont know what you’re talking about.” You shook your head, trying to think of anything to change the subject, “I really want a burger to be honest.”
you shook your head at your words, seriously. that was the best you could come with.
“Okay, see theres the other thing. You changed the subject.” Chris shook his head in laughter, “Why are you so weird about the subject of sex?”
When he finally said it, you decided you weren’t going to be apart of the conversation anymore.
“Im feeling really tired.” You mocked a yawn, quickly collecting yourself.
You left before he could say anything, and you could almost the confusion he was in.
You avoided him as best you could, but you were inside a small compact spacecraft. So of course it was bound to happen, you running into him. But not if you had anything to do with it. You hung out with Johanssen as much as you could, knowing that Chris wouldn’t bring it up with anyone else around. You could almost feel the quiet teasing he was giving you, by each smirk and soft chuckle each time he saw you. You definitely hadn’t told anyone on board you’d never had sex. It didnt seem like vital information - or even appropriate information you needed to share. You were back at your spot, reeling through your mind trying to think of anything but all this nonsense. This was your spot, almost like your safe haven. Most of the crew would head into their own private quarters - the only place on the spacecraft that didnt have microphones or cameras. But you enjoyed this space. There was cameras here, no microphones surprisingly. But you didnt mind. They never really disturbed you unless they had to. Communications in this spot was only through the software on the other side of the room. It was your favorite spot mostly because of the view. As the spacecraft would float around, the window gave a perfect view of the space you loved so much.
“Hey you.”
You heard the familiar voice, and you instantly began to shuffle to leave.
“Whoa, hey sport. Don’t even think about running this time.” Chris chuckled lowly, sitting down next to you.
You shifted uncomfortably, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. But you knew Chris Beck well enough, he most definitely would.
“Whats up?” You sighed out, hoping you deter him.
He laughed softly, his eyes placed on you, “Really? come on, talk to me.”
“Nothing to talk about.” You bit your lip, keeping your eyes to space.
“There clearly is.” Chris chuckled out now, nudging you softly.
“Seriously, Chris. Just drop it.” You huffed, bringing your knees to your chest.
He was quiet for a moment, and you looked quickly to see his eyes traveling you in realization, shit.
“Are you a virgin?” He merely whispered, even though he knew there was no microphones in here.
“Chris I dont want to talk-“
“Oh my god you are.” He bit back a grin, nudging you again.
“I…Didn’t have time.” You mumbled quickly, shifting once again.
“Oh come on. Even I had time.” Chris grinned widely to you, clearly taking amusement in this.
“You really think this is funny? It’s not like I had a long line of suitors.” You mumbled again, rolling your eyes.
“I find that very hard to believe.” Chris smirked, looking away from you finally.
“Yeah well. Believe it. Okay? I get it. Im a virgin. Im a prude.” You sighed heavily, slightly annoyed this came to light.
“I never said you were a prude.” He defended, “It’s actually really refreshing. You didn’t just do it because everyone else was, its nice.”
You looked to him, and you could see a small smirk on his lips. You couldn’t help but smile to his genuine compliment. You began to fumble with your hands.
“Thank you.” You mumbled, biting your lip.
“Whoever gets that privilege is lucky. You’re beautiful.” Chris smiled to you, his eyes meeting yours.
You suddenly wanted to kick yourself. Your eyes traveled to his lips, without your permission or thought. Your lingering gaze stayed much longer than it should have, long enough for Chris to notice.
“There is cameras in here.” Chris whispered out, a smirk forming on his lips.
“I know.” You choked out, flickering your eyes away.
“I should probably go.” Chris bit his lip, his hand falling to your knee.
In that moment, you noticed everything about him in a much different light. You’d been in a small confined space with him for months, but right now - he’d never looked so good. Your eyes stayed at his hand on your knee, and you felt the warmth radiate. His hand looked soft, his slender fingers almost encasing your whole knee. You took a deep breath, you couldn’t think about this. You couldn’t think about him.
Your thoughts would’ve broken about 32 rules by now.
#chris beck x reader#chris beck#chris beck x y/n#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebstan#the martian#chrisbeck
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