robin’s relationship with el after starcourt hadn’t been bad, it just hadn’t been anything at all. in the haze of everything that came after, robin’s poorly timed comments on bones and where-they-may-or-may-not-have-been on the soccer field her sophomore year hadn’t remained important in el’s memory.

neither steve nor robin were that close to el, though. obviously steve had dustin and max, and robin totally thought erica was the coolest fifth grade she’d ever met; but with robin new to the game and steve usually subbing in with the twerps they weren’t particularly in with el. they still stopped by the byers in the days and weeks leading up to their departure. the party was congregating every day to eke out every minute of summer sun they could while they were still together, and robin was sitting out front in the passenger seat of the beamer nearly just as often. she hadn’t really been inside the house, but had sat up front while steve picked el and max up for the arcade. they’d probably play air hockey while el stayed slumped on the side of dig dug, watching max as she chewed her lip and focused on the screen.

air hockey was one of the only arcade games they could agree on after spending enough time there, surveying while waiting on dustin and lucas to haltingly show erica some pac-man. steve was a fan of the more physical ones, of course: he snagged tickets shooting hoops in the corner and racked up the highest pinball score on the karate kid-themed game. robin hadn’t really gone in the arcade that much before the summer, even though it was one of the only places in town with reliable air conditioning before the mall opened up. so she didn’t really have a preferred game beyond air hockey, which was fun with steve when they were both competitive and stagnating in finding a new job.

when max had slowed to a clunky pace on the dig dug cabinet, she and el wandered back to the air hockey table where she and steve were still sending the puck back and forth. they watched a round of the two of them trading goals and max half-heartedly heckled them. el drifted closer to the edge of the table, staring intently as they lunged and twitched their hands. she waited, and watched them slow to a stop when robin scored a point above steve and started cheering.

on their way out, robin trailed behind steve and max, trying not to eavesdrop on the little league soccer coach-style clap on the shoulder he gave her as part of his pep talk. el drifted up to her side, dragging her feet on the brightly colored carpet.

“what’s… your hand? you and steve. you match.”

robin startled in surprise and stared uncomprehendingly at the back of her hand. before too long el reached out a finger and pointed at the bracelet slowly loosening on her wrist from wear. it had been lime green and buttery yellow and a too-bright cobalt blue. now the yellow had gone a slightly sickly beige and the blue had dulled significantly, but it still gave her a little thrill to see steve’s matching bracelet.

they’d made them in that first awful week after the fourth, when steve hadn’t left the buckley’s house in four days and counting. they’d cycled through robin’s childhood collection of muppet movies and the old black and white classic she had grown up watching with her parents. mr buckley had come in from work one night when they had just started singin in the rain, and he had joined them for most of it while standing behind the armchair and resisting offers to sit down. they’d been snickering through bringing up baby, curled up on the couch in the middle of the day and still pretending they were A-Okay when robin realized they’d migrated through the entirety of the buckley’s front room furniture and most of the floor near the tv. robin liked the heavy comfort of being around steve, but her hands were starting to sweat where they were tucked up with steve’s, and she felt undeniably restless as she tapped her fingers on the back of his hand.

steve broke first. “it’s not that i’m like. uncomfortable. or even bored! but it is like ohmygod my legs are like lead weights right now.” with this, he flung his legs out in front of them, splaying out in front of the tv. 

robin had groaned and slumped down onto his chest, then thought of the play-doh she kept in her desk for when she was working on difficult homework. she dropped to the floor with another groan, then sat up and dashed to her room, coming back with purple and teal-capped play-doh jars. they’d made little figurines and stars and hearts with it while the movie played out, and had scavenged robin’s room for craft supplies before slumping back in front of the tv with their spoils.

steve had gathered up robin’s shockingly extensive collection of construction and scrapbooking paper and a pair of scissors. robin had taken the embroidery floss out of the pale purple trunk in her closet, and scotch tape and the glue stick she kept in her backpack. they’d snipped and shaped and tied, and had ended the night with mostly matching bracelets and cheesy out of season valentines for tammy thompson and nancy wheeler.

for the bracelets they chosen a kermit-y lime green, a pale but warm yellow, and a navy blue that felt grossly familiar. robin showed steve how to make simple stripes and it felt like tying off a birthday present, or locking a door. they’d traded bracelets, and worn them every day since.

that was what el was pointing out. “oh well, you know… me and steve, we’re like each others party so.. we just thought we’d do something to you know… commemorate. or something. to celebrate getting each other.”

robin cringed at the word choice, but el didn’t seem to notice the potential accidental slight. el nodded seriously at this and looked ahead at max and steve, her eyes flickering around steve’s bracelet where it hung around his watch.

“i could show you? how to do them, i mean! i’ve still got some stuff left over for it, and you could take it on the car ride so you’ll have something to do! i heard it’ll be, like, a forever car ride, so i hope it’d help.” el met her eyes and nodded seriously once, before thanking her and giving her a small smile.

robin had kept that pale purple trunk in steve’s car until the next time el was a passenger, and had showed her the two styles she’d learned from her mom as a kid. el had chosen shades of pink and yellow for her first try, before moving on to something like steve and robin’s, only with a vibrant orange rather than yellow. she added a bright pink, and knotted the string into a thin band. el had beamed when she finished her first one, and robin had felt just a little bit better about seeing her off so soon.

by the end of the first week of the byer’s departure, robin received a letter via steve. el’s name was printed neatly in the corner over an address in california, but it had been addressed to robin at steve’s house, the only address el had been able to get. the letter was short and sweet and ended with an embroidery thread bracelet taped neatly to the bottom of the page. it was lilac and dark blue and a fun light orange, and the letter was signed love, el with a doodle of a sweet smiley face.

listen. i do not ever want anything bad to happen to lena kelley. however i do want her to, at some point, be in so much distress that someone has to comfort her. do you understand.

I am begging Tumblr's algorithm to actually show the things I post to people who follow me instead of just things I reblog

ritual incomplete

so. anyways. tabilial playlist.

Friendzoned by s3rl is my solidwood song I hope you all understand why I think it's really funny

this fucking guy who hates me in this program is such an elitist prick. i was talking to someone else in the car about emo and alternative music and the used got brought up, and i was like “fuck i can’t remember the name of the album by the used but it has songs i like on it, like taste of ink and a box full of sharp objects”

and this fucking guy is muttering under his breath like “it’s THE taste of ink… the album is the used…” like…. does it really matter… also you’re not the only one that’s heard of these fucking bands, and he totally acts like it. he acts like these bands are so obscure and special and that he’s the only one in the house allowed to listen to or talk about them.

anyways, the other guy in the car and i were talking about other bands, like blessthefall, la dispute, attack! attack!, and other shit, and this guy was so annoyed that we were having a good conversation.

someone just asked him “what song is this?” to the music he was playing on the tv, and he’s like “why?” in a mean tone. like, get a fucking grip and get over yourself, for fuck’s sake.

the other guy and i were heading upstairs and were both like “he likes the same music as us, it sucks that he’s such a fucking dick about it because we could bond but he sucks”

crazy how not being an elitist prick could actually result in you making friends in this program instead of being hostile to every person and having everyone hate you when you’re an aggressive asshole all the time

the pain when u lie down and ur body finally relaxes and all the tension from the day comes back all at once and there is like 2 minutes of just. Burning pain, but then u just melt 😌

absolutely agree btw about a.eon being canon is the death of ada’s character because a large part of their dynamic is that they’re from two different worlds and they don’t/can’t work together, at least not long term as they are. i’ll see fics of them being married and domestic and having kid(s) and i’m just like ???? have you met ada wong? you really think this woman is settling down to have children?

also with a lot of a.eon content is like. they make ada change for leon because He’s Just So Good and obviously the only way for those two to be happy or even together is for them to have a traditional family lifestyle. when in reality ada isn’t gonna change THAT much for anyone, even for someone she might have romantic feelings for. like you said, character assassination

literally!!!! literally!!!! literally!!!!

aeon being canon means capcom is pulling devious amounts of misogyny for it to work, or at least the way they would want it to work.

and what's wild is that... between the two of them... it's literally leon who is more likely to change. he HATES his job. he is MISERABLE. but ada is just fine. she takes a job at the end of re6 with a quickness!

the whole "ada and leon settle down and raise a family" thing just... reeks of misogyny, too. when has ada ever said anything about wanting a family? and when has leon? when would he have the time? he has seen what the government is willing to do to children with sherry (and I'm sure eveline and rose)... you're telling me the man who said he doesn't plan the week ahead because he is so depressed wants children? PLEASE.

i hate when i’m desperately trying to watch 3+ seasons of a show so i can look at content on it because i need to see content NOW!!! YES i have one seemingly christmas themed episode of this season left, YES there’s another one after it, YES i don’t know if i should wait to watch that episode in december or watch that AND the next season rn, YES i don’t know if i should just wait to watch the most recent season next halloween because they’re halloween themed and there’s another season next october, inhale

i feel like i'm probably mentally tired at the moment so

time to make myself feel something ig

*puts on headphones and puts volume to the highest* /hj

are you still doing DCA stuff?

Sort of? I'm on a kind of hiatus thing cause I'm burnt out.

I'm still very interested in DCA/SB I just don't have the energy to draw much else than my own OC atm so I'm not posting much.

Also my PC died so✌️I have to get that fixed before I can really do anything anyway (any doodles I post recently are either backlog or from my mother graciously letting me use her computer).

me 🤝 bruce wayne

crying, screaming and throwing up everytime we read this poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye as it reminds us of Jason and his death---

i’ve realised that i find it relatively(?) easy to assign sexualities to my characters, but find it extremely difficult (impossible) to give them romantic orientations. only bc 1): i don’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction/advances/etc…

2): my view on it is very odd. (idk if its odd but i feel like it’d be confusing to people).

HELP I JUST SAW THAT SNOWBALL RB AND DIMITRI WOULD BE BAWLING 100%

especially because he’s so mindful of his crest too. his lips be wobbling eyes tearful the whole package 😭

THATS WHAT IM SAYING!! HAHAHA

the one (1) time he joins in and decided to target someone else [because he would never in his entire life ever choose to target you even if it were for a simple snowball fight], he accidentally chucks a snowball right into your direction…. landing it straight on your face. and the blood completely drains from his face watching your body fall backwards into the fluffy snow.

it’s silent on the snowfield when your body goes down. one step, two steps forward and dimitri is running to where your body has fallen with his heart racing in his ears.

he should have never thrown that snowball. he should have stayed back and watched like he always did when his childhood friends wrestled in the snow. what if he killed you? what if he was the sole reason you got hurt and injured from this day? he would never forgive himself if you-

your familiar laughter, light and twinkling like the snow that has fallen, pulls the young king from his thoughts and his shoulders relax at the sign of your consciousness.

his tears are quickly wiped away by your hands when you feel them fall onto your face and he instinctively leans into your touch, gently grasping the hand that touches him in his own.

thank sothis that you’re alive.

HAVING LUSTFUL THOUGHTS.