Get to Know the Blogger

Thanks for the tag @scribbledquillz c: I hope your weekend is going well!

(I have no idea who has or hasn't done this, so ignore if you don't want to/have already/etc): @ndostairlyrium @star--nymph @heniareth @jtownnn @demandthedoodles @greypetrel (I think you might've done this one? but if not c:)

Share your wallpaper: I use a shared computer, but:

Last song you listened to: A Taste of Honey by Peggy Lee

Currently reading: The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson (a reread)

Last movie: Underworld (okay but listen, I had no idea how much of the dialogue I remember from this movie by heart. It was my first R-rated movie, I definitely shouldn't have been watching it, and my taste in women is inextricably shaped by Kate Beckinsale in that catsuit/embossed corset/leather duster combo)

Last show: How to Build a Sex Room

Craving: Coconut Taro boba

What are you wearing right now: Jeans and black and orange ghost crop top

How tall are you: 5'4"

Piercings: Two on each ear

Tattoos: No, but as soon as I can get up the nerve (low pain tolerance, can't stand that buzzing noise) I am getting a moon w stained glass honeycomb inside

Glasses? Contacts? Glasses, can't stand contacts

Last drink: Coffee

Last thing you ate: Breakfast sandwich w biscuits, egg, and bacon (oh man, I just realized that it's four...whoops)

Favorite color: Purple! But especially plum purple and periwinkle

Current obsession: Dragon Age? (How long can one be into something before liking it becomes chronic? Does it count as a current obsession if I've been obsessed for over a year?)

Any pets: One tiny terrier mix named Rigatoni (Toni for short)

Favorite fictional character: oh this is a mean question :c Tybalt from the October Daye series or Cimorene from the Enchanted Forest Chronicles

Everything I Ever Wanted Part 1/4

The much anticipated sequel for "Not All That Glitters is Gold" the omegaverse epic that I recently wrapped up. The first chapter is here as I highly recommend you read it first.

Each chapter is based on something Steve wanted from the first story. Being a top omega escort and retiring at the top of his game. Having alpha health be brought to the forefront and actually studied. Being married and bonded. And finally having children of his own.

Just a few notes here: This not to say that surrogacy or adopt is lesser or not as important as biological birth. Because it absolutely isn't. This is about Steve being told he was only good for one thing and to learn his worth was far greater than anyone imagined.

This story is mature. There are sex scenes in here as well as full nudity, but also the first chapter has some awful pretty non-binary and sex worker prejudices that if you feel like you can't handle, don't read.

Each chapter is however long it took me to fill out that part. So some chapters are shorter than others, some times by almost 1000 words.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the first one!

****

Steve had finished packing up the last of his stuff. Chrissy would be moving in next week and fill the suite with everything that made her unique.

But as sad as Steve was to be leaving, he knew it was time. Twelve years as one of the best escorts Starcourt had ever seen was long enough, he thought.

A warm pair of arms wrapped around his waist and a wet kiss was placed on his bonding gland.

“Hey, honey,” Eddie cooed. “You ready to go?”

Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie’s arms and sighed happily. “Yeah, love, I am.”

“You going to miss this?” he murmured, squeezing Steve tightly.

Steve hummed, thinking about it. “To some extent, but doing this well into my fifties and sixties was never in the cards for me.”

“No?”

He shook his head. “I was always too much of a romantic for that. When I first learned I was infertile it was a relief that I didn’t have to live to my parents’ high expectations for me. I had looked up to Roxie because they were living the life young me always wanted, freedom as an omega.”

“I’m glad you got that freedom, sweetheart,” Eddie said softly. “You really grew into your own. If you want to keep working for another couple of years, you’ve got it. I won’t stop you.”

Steve turned in his grasped and kissed him soundly. “No, Eds. This is what I want. I want a life with you. I want to bond and mate you. I want to carry your pups. As many as you want. Because if I was given the choice as a sixteen year old to have that freedom I always craved and the chance to marry and bare children? I would have taken it in a heartbeat. But when they thought I was infertile, the glamour of being an escort was the only choice for me.”

Eddie nuzzled Steve’s scent gland. “Okay, Stevie.” He nipped under Steve’s jaw. “Fuck, you are so hot when you get all passionate about shit. I could have you right here, right now on this floor if you’d let me.”

Steve slipped out of his embrace with a giggle. “As tempting as that would be, darling, the movers will be here in ten minutes and the cleaners in thirty. And I’m not as fast as I used to be.”

Eddie huffed impatiently.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Eddie and Steve shared a confused glance.

Steve walked to the door and opened it.

He stood there in shock for a moment. There on the side of the door frame was Roxie. Steve’s idol.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “Come on in. You’ll pardon the mess, I’m moving out today.”

Roxie stepped in.

They were as beautiful in person as they had been on the poster on Steve’s wall as a teenager.

They were tall and thin, with long black hair and piercing blue eyes. No one was sure what race Roxie was because they had an exotic look no matter where they go.

Roxie was also the first non-binary omega escort the world had ever seen.

In short Steve was enamored.

Eddie gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I’m going to meet the movers.”

He kissed Steve’s cheek and slipped out of the door that Roxie had just walked through.

“He’s cute,” Roxie said with a smile.

Steve blushed. “I like him.”

Roxie threw back their head and laughed. “I would hope so considering you’re bonding next month.”

Steve cocked his head and grinned. “Yeah...”

Roxie held up their prizes, two champagne flutes and a bottle of champagne. “I’ve come to celebrate!”

Steve took the glasses and wandered over to the sofa. It hadn’t been moved yet, so they at least had a place to sit.

Roxie produced a bottle opener from the confines of their coat pocket and opened the champagne. Steve held out the two glasses and Roxie poured the bubbling liquid.

“Come, come,” they said. “Sit. Tell me all about the hottie that just left.”

So Steve did.

“I’m happy for you,” Roxie said. “It took me years to find my soulmate.”

Steve blinked. “Are you–no...really?”

“A golden omega? Oh yes. Really,” Roxie said with a laugh. “I just didn’t meet my bondmate until I was much older, and we never wanted children so we bonded and just never share my heats.”

“Doesn’t that get lonely?” Steve asked. “Spending your heats without your bondmate?”

Roxie shook their head. “No. We still share his ruts and we use as much protection as we can. But, no. I’ve gotten used to having my heats alone, adding another person would just be complicating things at this point.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Steve said with a nod. “I guess I’m young enough to miss the connection that he and I share during his ruts when I have my heats.”

Roxie smiled. “I hear you had to jump through a few hoops to bond.”

Steve sighed heavily and took a long drink, nearly draining the glass. “It was a mess. I would be the first official golden omega to retire from active escorting and that was something they wanted to carefully curate. They didn’t want a scandal like what the church had last year when Chrissy broke open the illegal nature of the amount of omegas they took in.”

“That was a nightmare,” Roxie agreed. “I was shocked by it all.”

“I’m just grateful that I’ll have a few months to prepare for the fallout before the shit hits the fan,” Steve said. “After all it won’t come out until Eddie and I get pregnant.”

Roxie hummed their agreement.

“If you’re really lucky,” they said, “maybe a year or more.”

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “That’s what Eddie’s hoping for, but I’m fine with either, honestly. My two biggest dreams growing up were having pups and being an escort, how that would have worked out biologically, I had no idea, I was just dumb kid. But actually getting both feels like a miracle.”

Roxie smiled, their eyes crinkling. “I’m almost sad you’re a golden omega, because I really thought you would be the one to take my place as top earner when I retired next year.”

His jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. “Wait, really?” He couldn’t believe it. Roxie retire? That was unfathomable. Oh and the other thing, too.

Roxie must of read his mind because they laughed. “Yes, I’m retiring. I turn sixty-five next year, and I really can’t see myself doing it for much longer. And as for you, yes, darling. You. You are the best escort this industry has ever seen and you have the receipts to prove it.”

“They do want me to come back and teach the next batch of incoming escorts,” Steve said with a sigh smile. “From the ages of sixteen to eighteen, I’ll be teaching them everything I learned to make them better. And that’s more important than any glamour or glitz being an escort could possibly give me.”

“Then the agency is in better hands than I thought!” Roxie cried, gleefully clapping their hands together.

Steve smiled and shook his head. “You know, it’s funny. The only reason my dad even allowed me to be an escort was because there had never been a Harrington omega who wasn’t a trophy wife. They never worked a day in their lives. So when I offered to become a wet nurse to save up money to become a teacher, he blanched and said that I was going to be an escort. At least I could make money for them that way.”

He poured himself another glass and filled Roxie’s when they put out their own too.

“Well,” Roxie said smiling over their glass, “as long as you don’t start work until after you’ve bonded Eddie, that could still be true about the whole ‘no Harrington ever being a teacher’ thing.”

Steve laughed, his eyes squeezed tight, mouth open wide and just laughing with his whole chest. “Here’s to that!”

They clinked their glasses together. They talked for a little while longer, but soon Roxie had left and the movers and the cleaners filed in.

“These knothead movers,” Eddie said darkly, “were trying to duck out of doing the job because you were celebrating still.”

The older of the alpha moving team glared at him. “How was I to know that Roxie was in there?”

“From believing me when I told you?” Eddie asked, waving his arms out in front of him.

“He is so gorgeous,” one of the omega cleaners twittered.

“They,” Steve said with a frown. “Roxie uses they/them. Unless you're talking about someone else.”

The cleaner rolled her eyes. “He was a him for decades and then decides to come out non-binary? Whatever.”

“Out!” Steve said, barely containing his rage. “I will put in complaints with your bosses and management will get in new teams if they know what’s good for them.”

Eddie grinned. “You’ve got it, babe.”

Everyone filed out, the other omega cleaners hissing and snarling their dismissal at the other girl. The movers got what they wanted so they didn’t care.

As the lead mover was passing by Steve, he muttered, “Slut.”

The alpha was on the ground trapped in an arm bar, Eddie’s knee in the middle of his back.

The alpha cried out in surprise and pain. “What the fuck?!”

“That’s my omega you just insulted,” Eddie snarled, his alpha fangs extending. “And I don’t take kindly to that sort of thing. I will make sure that your company never gets a single celebrity client ever again. Steve will make sure Starcourt never uses you again, nor any other escort agency.” He yanked on the man’s arm causing him to gasp in pain. “Now I’m going to let you up, nice and slow and then you are going to apologize to Steve. Understand?”

The man nodded and Eddie got up. After a moment the alpha mover got to his feet.

“I’m waiting,” Steve huffed. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was leaning on his back leg.

“I’m sorry I called you a slut,” the man groused, rubbing the arm Eddie had yanked.

“Just because my work is different from yours doesn’t mean it’s not work,” Steve hissed. He waved his hand. “Now get out of my sight.”

The man followed his team out and Eddie slammed the door behind them.

“I’ve already contacted Powell,” Steve said. “They’ve already blacklisted both companies and have new crews being sent over.”

“Do we need to be here when they come?” Eddie asked.

Steve shook his head. “I was just cutting it fine getting the last of my stuff being packed away.”

Eddie grinned and pulled Steve in for a kiss. “Then why don’t you and I get out of here and celebrate a little bit on our own?”

“That sounds good,” Steve said, throwing his arms around Eddie’s neck. “Because that little display of yours taking down that mover was super hot.”

Eddie drew Steve in closer so they were flush against each other. “Yeah?”

Steve bit his bottom lip and nodded.

“Did my pretty little omega get wet watching his alpha take down a disgusting pig?” Eddie teased, cupping Steve’s ass with both hands.

“So wet,” Steve breathed. “Almost as wet as our first meeting, rockstar.”

Eddie licked his lips slowly and then nodded.

“Your stuff is already at my place,” he growled. “So I’m going to take you back there and fuck you into the mattress. Sound good, baby?”

Steve kissed him deeply. “Sounds so good.”

****

Part 2 Part 3

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @itsall-taken

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369

​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi

@maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv

@wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @bookbinderbitch @yikes-a-bee

@littlewildflowerkitten @vecnuthy @scheodingers-muppet @y4r3luv @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

@genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @irregular-child @nburkhardt

@apomaro-mellow @yellowdevilkitten @eyehartart @mangoinacan13 @demolvr

@ellietheasexylibrarian @rememberthatiloveyou @slowandsteddie @r0binscript @alyelf

@melodymeddler @mogami13 @annabanannabeth @disrespectedgoatman @manda-panda-monium

@lexirosewrites @lawrencebshoggoth @lingeringmirth

How would you describe Gregor’s…

- humor

- character

- core motives

- deepest dreams

- penis

jk on the last one

Well, here we go. I will be answering this seriously despite the, ahem, last part of it.

Humor:

Gregor has a good sense of humor. He doesn't take himself too terribly seriously. I love seeing him in the TBB and how he's like boo hoo I was shot I'll be fine. I think he's also a bit of a troublemaker with those he knows well. I think he likes a good joke including practical jokes, as long as it's in good fun. I also think Captain Traitor probably has a ton of good comebacks.

Character and Core Motives:

I'm kind of combining these since I'm not sure where one ends and the other begins.

Gregor is a good person. I don't mean that as a throwaway comment. At his core, he is good and kind. Seeing as Gregor sticks with Wolffe and Rex by the time we get to Rebels, there's no doubt he's loyal to his brothers. We know he's fighting for them in TBB, and he's so capable. God, he's so fucking capable, strong, smart, quick, and awesome. I'm sure he also has moments of insecurity and fear, like anyone else, but he doesn't let those overwhelm him.

After getting blown up and surviving during TCW, I think his traumatic brain injury (TBI) really impacts him in ways we don't always see in the shows, but I do like that it is depicted in some way on TBB. I highly recommend people read this post about it by @fox-trot because people need to realize why he's giggling and that he's not just "jolly" as I've seen some people describe him (and not in a nice way). It's a side effect of his TBI.

I really like the scene where he's drinking whatever drink in TBB S2E14 after they rescue Howzer and "the others" (what are their names?! I need to know). He's just kind of sitting and enjoying the moment. He doesn't look stressed. The rescue was a success and there's a sense of calm with him. Not that there isn't serious trauma that these clones are going through and everything is now super peachy, but it's like Gregor can take a moment to relax after getting through this part and regroup before whatever the next mission is. This is how I read him in that scene anyway.

I feel myself starting to ramble, so, core motive? Doing his best to do what is right.

Deepest Dreams:

He would probably say to save as many brothers as possible and overthrow the Empire. I also think that while the clones are raised and trained to be soldiers, Gregor would love to have a partner. I don't know that the clones can actually have biological children (Cut's children are adopted and I can't think of another example), but I think he'd be great with kids. Gregor wants what most of us want at the end of the day: happiness, love, and peace.

Penis:

I was going to skip this, but you took the time to write it, although in jest, so I might as well answer. I imagine his penis looks like just about any other penis. He might have a piercing or something fun going on, but ultimately, what matters is what you do with it.

Tagging: @freesia-writes

Fic(tional) Stat(istic)s

@cha-melodius gave me a wonderful tag and I was actively surprised at the results, so here we go.

Rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Most Hits: Just Like a Dealer, Teen Wolf

This fic shouldn't really be under my name as I didn't do the bulk of the writing. I was in a rehearsal in a very cold church with @clottedcreamfudge and it wasn't either of our parts so I think I wrote a short prompt for her and she wrote the rest? I get the kudos emails and comments still!

I gave tintagel the prompts "cards," "pillar" and "silk". She wrote the opening (which I've tweaked slightly for my own nefarious purposes) and then this happened. In which UST is resolved (and then some) and Scott is just disappointed that all of this happened in his kitchen.

Second Most Kudos: Alien Magic, Tamora Pierce

This is a crossover episode fic where I tried to squish the worlds of Emelan and Tortall together. I don't plan fics, I just write, which really pisses off Josefin and sometimes can cause issues as there has already been one 5-year gap between updates for this fic.

A dead metal human-bird hybrid washes up on the shores of Emelan. Niko identifies it as something from a far-off country, one with more experimental universities than Lightsbridge, and with another way of magic. And so the four go to Tortall. In Tortall itself, Stormwings are coming down with disease, with reduced flocks, actually asking for the Wildmage's help. Something has gone very, very wrong.

Third Most Comments: Ghosted, RWRB

When Henry leaves his flat that morning, he doesn't anticipate being followed through London by a guy who seems really insistent on speaking to him, never getting to eat his takeaway, and being sat on by an old man on the Tube. But sometimes, fate has other plans for you, and you can't fight fate. --- Or, the fic where people are ghosts until they're not, dead until proven otherwise, and we take bets on how thin the veil is between the living and the dead.

Fourth Most Bookmarks: Red, White and Royal Ballet, RWRB

Alex Claremont-Diaz isn't the 'bad boy of ballet'. He's just good at playing the tortured roles. But his latest role, where he's partnered with Beatrice Fox, is coming to an end, and they're announcing the new season's program soon. He might never be the romantic hero, but maybe it's time for a change. Completed.

Fifth Most Words: The Nights We Almost Met, TAH

You should all go listen to the Thrilling Adventure Hour, a loving pastiche of the radio dramas of old. I highly recommend Beyond Belief, the segment where wonderfully drunk and in love mediums Frank and Sadie Doyle (the inimitable Paul F Tompkins and Paget Brewster) investigate paranormal happenings

Frank Doyle and Sadie Parker have terrible timing. It started as a series of vignettes showing when the Doyles could have met, but ultimately missed each other by a hair. It ended differently.

Notes:

This is because I'm a sucker for those things where a couple ALMOST meet and you know they'd be PERFECT and then they don't meet, like, at all. See also: Love Soup. This fic will end when I stop coming up with ways for them not to meet, and they're basically magnetised towards one another so it won't take too long.

Least Words: Putting It Together, TAH

Frank Doyle is a rich, bored bachelor. Sadie Knickerhouse affects to be made in the same mould, but really she's after his art collection. For anyone who thought Art Imitates Life needed its own spinoff series.

I've been surprised by these! I write in small fandoms generally but I didn't expect the Teen Wolf one to be as high up as it was. Anyway, watch this space. Tagging @gloriousclio, @clottedcreamfudge, @stutteringpeach and whoever else would like a crack!

"Yes?"

|Script Style One-shot|

Pairing: Kili x Fem!Human!Reader

(Lots of female pronouns and titles. I promise to try to write more neutral stories.)

Disclaimer:-> A/n: This is a script style story, inspired by a scene in this amazing Turkish show on Netflix, that I've been hooked on for the past week called 'Resurrection: Ertugrul'.

The scene I'm referring to is a proposal scene with Dogan Alp and Banu Cicek, it's so cute and sweet. I immediately fell in love with these two story. From the scene, I took a couple of my favorite lines, so credit to the shifting writers for that.

I highly recommend the show to anyone wanting a show that is high paced with both action and drama. 

word count: 1,090

warnings: mentions of love and the Dwarf God, Mahal

__________________

Set in the following days after the BOTFA->

{Fili walks up behind Kili as he sit at the fire, that Bombur and the others had set up near the front entrance. }

Fili: "What's wrong?"

Kili: "It's nothing Fi. "

Fili:...*raises eyebrows*

Kili: *sighs*"Even if there was something, you couldn't help."

Fili:" Let me guess…"

Fili: "Does this have something to do with this human friend of ours and that little old bead that's been in your pocket for ages". 

Kili:....*looks down*...

Fili: "Just tell her how you feel brother."

Kili: "I can't! That's the problem. Every time I get near her, my tongue gets all twisted and my brain turns to mush. "

Kili: "It doesn't matter either way, it's not like she would accept a proposal from a dwarf anyway. "

Fili: "How do you know?"

Kili: "Know what?"

Fili:" That she'll deny a proposal from a dwarf. Do you really think that low of her? "

Kili:"....That's not what I meant. I just don't know how she'll react."

Fili: "Exactly my point brother, How can you know if you never ask? "

Kili: "….what if she says no?"

Fili: "Then she says no and you move on, because that's how life works, Ki. It isn't always full of yes's. Sometimes you have to hear a no before something or someone can say yes. "

Kili: *huffs* "When did you get so philosophical?"

Fili: *bumping his shoulder* "When did you  get old enough to love?"

Kili: *smiles sadly*

Fili:"...Wait, did you ask Uncle about this yet?"

Kili:...*small quick nod*

Fili: "Before even mentioning it to me!" *punches Kili shoulder*

Kili:*gulps*" If it makes you feel any better. He tried to have the 'talk' with me again and embarrassed the both of us."

Fili:....*smirks*

Kili: *smirks back and pushes his shoulder* "whatever."

Kili: *sighs big* "What would I even say? I can't just- "*waves hands in the air sporadically*

Fili: *pushes Kili hands down* "Ok, ok I know what you mean." *visually thinks for a minute*

Fili: "I got it! *turns to sit facing Kili* " You can say something like-" * places his hands on over his heart*

Fili: "Your honey stroked glances have pierced my heart like an arrow. Your blushed cheeks make rubies pale in comparison. ."

Kili: “ That's...actually not bad.”

Fili: “See! I have some knowledge when it comes to love, brother.”

Kili:*mumbles* " honey...pierced arrow…rubies pale.." *looks over at Fili, who nods encouragely *

Fili: ….*rubs at his eyes suddenly*

Kili: "What?”

Fili: "My little brother is all grown up .*sniffs*:(

Kili: “Don’t make me throttle you.”

  ____________________

{In the small healing tent outside Erebor that Oin set up to help treat the wounded after the battle. It is mostly empty now, for it was late and the rest of the critical wounded were being treated in Dale. There were only two left inside as the day ended.}

Oin: "Now remember to wash your whole shoulder before applying the salve. It won’t do any good with dirt in the way. "

Y/n: "I will, thank you again Oin, I truly appreciate it ."

{Tent flaps quickly opens and Kili stumbles in}

Oin: *glances at the two of you* I have other patients I need to attend to. Now remember to do everything I told you. 

{Oin grabs his small med bag and scurried out of the tent }

Kili:*clears throat* "How’s your wound?"

Y/n: Oh, it’s fine! With the stuff Oin gave me, it should get better soon. Thank you for checking in. "

Kili: "That's good!...That's good..."

{A few beats of silence}

Kili: "Y/n I have something to tell y- I mean, ask you."

Y/n: *nods softly as she raises an eyebrow*

Kili: *deep breath* "Your arrow glances have pierced my heart like honey. Your rubies cheeks make blushes pale in comparison."

Y/n: "Kili what are you saying?"

Kili: "I don't even know." * shakes his head, angrily* "Fili."

Y/n:*laughs softly*

Kili: *mumbles* "help me mahal"

Kili: "I may not know what to say but I do know that." *Swifts his posture to stand taller as he looks up*

Kili:" I want you to be my wife...….eventually...I mean I want to court you Y/n.  Then I want to marry you.....and I want you to accept me...as yours."

Y/n:*looks down at the small bottle in her hand and smiles softly as she looks at him*

Y/n: "if what you say is so....then"*takes a small step forward grabbing his hand to hold in hers* "I shall be your life, and the cure to your troubles. For now your arms shall be my palace and your life shall be my heaven."

Kili:"......." *frozen with a dumbfounded expression*

Y/n:"...Kili?"

Kili:*blinks*"...."

Y/n: "Kili?"

Kili: "........" *still frozen*

Y/n:" Kili?" *gently slaps him across the face*

Kili:*He shakes his head and swallows deeply*

Y/n: "Thank God" *smiles shyly as she looks down at the bottle in her hands again*

Kili: "I..I could not understand."

Y/n: “umph?”

Kili: "I asked you if you wanted to be my wife and you said yes, right?"

Y/n: *nods* "Yes."

Kili: *starts to smile big* " I asked you if you wanted to be my wife and you said yes. So you are going to let me marry you?"

Y/n:*laughs softly*  "Yes, Kili."

Kili: "MAHAL!!!" *grabs and spins Y/n, both laughing*

Kili:*abruptly puts Y/n down* “I have to go tell the others!”

{Kili runs out of the tent, Y/n just stands there as a giggle leaves her lips.}

{Kili runs quickly back into the tent before Y/n could move}

Kili: “You said yes, right?”

Y/n: “I said Yes” *nods*

{Kili smiles broadly, as he rushes up to Y/n. Gently resting his hand on the back of her neck, bringing her head down to press her forehead against his. }

Kili: “You have no idea how happy you just made me.”

{Moving slowly, replacing his forehead with his lips. Kili and Y/n both closes their eyes in contentment}

Kili: *Whispers* "Maralmizu ( I love you )"

Y/n: "I don't know what that means" *giggles quietly*

Kili: *still smiling* "I believe you do."

{Smiling goofy at each other, Kili softly pulls away to run back through the tent door. }

Kili: *echoing against the entire valley* "BLESS YOU!! MAHAL!!!"

-------

Tag list for Kili related posts are now open!:

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WIP Wednesday - Grover&Percy 4/20 fic

Ack, I forgot it was Wednesday! Whoops.

I present bonding over pot brownies.

"I remember you telling me once that you thought of yourself as my protector."

"I never really stopped." Grover, his smile turning confessional, drapes his arm over the back of the couch. "I just try not to nag you so much, especially now that you have a boyfriend who'll do it for me."

Percy grabs onto Grover's hand like they're little kids. 

"It baffled me back then, but I get it now," he says, strangled. Maybe he'd be embarrassed, if he weren't so stoned. "I need you, dude. I can't talk to anyone the way I can talk to you— not even Jason. I'd be a total mess if I didn't have you in my life." 

"I'm glad he's there for you when I can't be." Grover might be choking up a little too, or maybe the effects of the pot just make Percy perceive his eyes as especially reflective. "I need you, too. No matter what, I'm proud to call you my best friend. You could decide to drop out of school and become a garbage collector¹, and I'd still respect and admire you. You're my brother, man. I love you, and nothing's going to change that." 

It's as though Grover's presence is a weighted blanket, heavy and warm. His smile is a sunbeam piercing cloud cover, and his voice is the color of wild, ripe strawberries, so dark red they're nearly maroon. Sweet, familiar, vibrant. 

"I could drop out," Percy repeats. "It's still before the cutoff date, so I'd get all my money back." 

Grover, seeming to understand that he's hit on something, nods encouragingly. 

"Iris has been hinting about promoting you to shift manager at the cafe anyway, hasn't she? You could take on some more hours, save up a little money—" 

"—and move in with Jason sooner." 

"Which would make him very happy," Grover adds. "And also make Thalia happy, because then you don't have to use her apartment for all of your trysts."

Percy feels his face fall. Grover raises a curious, worried eyebrow.

"Thinking of Thalia reminds me of my mom," Percy explains miserably, sliding down the couch and resting his head in Grover's lap. "I don't want to let her down. She worked so hard to make sure I'd succeed."

"That just means you have to change your definition of success." Grover puts a comforting hand on Percy's head. "Right now, success is taking some time off from school because it's making you miserable, and focusing on your job and your family instead because those things make you happy."

Percy can almost hear it in his mom's voice. He closes his eyes and lets Grover braid his hair— which is hilarious, when he realizes his joke to her became prophetic. 

"You're the smartest person I know." 

"Counting your Ivy League boyfriend?" 

"He's told me about a million times he only got in because his dad is an alum." Percy cracks open one eye. "Which is probably true, although I do think he could have gotten in on merit. The point is, he's a close runner up, but that's not the kind of smart I'm talking about anyway. He's brain-smart. You're heart-smart."

For a second time, Percy blames the brownie for his emotional outburst, but he likes laughing uncontrollably over his own (probably not actually) brilliant pun a lot better than bawling over a broken guitar string. 

Grover collapses with him, which is the cherry on top of the brownie sundae. 

Eventually, they open Grover's laptop and find a stream of the Lions versus Crimson. Jason's in, and he's on fire— he leads Columbia to a landslide victory, which makes Percy's soul glow with pride. 

Grover dozes off shortly after the game wraps. Percy can feel the weed encouraging him to do the same, but there's something he has to do first. 

He's not sure if the text he sends Jason's burner makes any sense, but he's pretty sure he manages the general idea. His phone is still in his hand when he falls under.

¹ This is a reference to a classic by antistar_e called Ten Things Percy Loves About Having Sex, which I highly recommend and consider a formative influence on my writing style!

Presently just under 5600 words.

@elaborateruses @perseusjackson-jasongrace 😘

the memories bring back (you)

part of the 1000 lives ‘verse, aka my: Bucky and Tony are soulmates and Tony gets captured by HYDRA and they fall in love but then after TWS Bucky escapes but Tony doesn’t and now Bucky is desperately trying to find Tony and save his soulmate - verse.

this is a timestamp of Tony and Bucky’s time at HYDRA. reading the first fic in the series is recommended but not necessarily required to understand this fic. you can always read this one first and then read the first fic later on

//

13 kills (1991)

The boy appears to be attempting to escape, as he presses his feet against the wall and tugs at his chains over and over, even though it must be hurting him to do so. Briefly, the Asset wonders if it should explain to the boy that escape is not possible, that HYDRA does not allow for such things, but it has not been told to speak to the boy, so it says nothing.

“You could help, you know,” the boy spits out, and it takes a couple of seconds for the Asset to realise that the boy is addressing it. “Bet that metal arm of yours would come in real handy right about now. My father isn’t going to pay my ransom, he never does, so you might as well KILL ME!” The boy tilts his head back and shouts the last two words, talking to people who aren’t in the room.

“What does this kind of job pay anyway?” the boy asks. “Is it really worth it? Stealing teenagers from their dorm rooms? You must really be important to them if they fitted you with a prosthesis like that.” The boy eyes its metal arm, but unlike when the Scientist used to eye the arm, there is no shudder down the Asset’s spine. It doesn’t feel the urge to flinch or cower away because there’s no spite in the boy’s look - for all the vitriol he’s spitting - only curiosity.

“I would love to get my hands on that thing,” the boy says, more to himself than anyone else, before giving the Asset a slow once-over, “I’d like to get my hands on all of you, if you weren’t some sort of creepy kidnapper. Rhodey’s gonna lose his mind when he finds out I have a hard-on for my kidnapper. This is some Stockholm Syndrome type shit.”

The boy looks like he’s about to say more, but he’s interrupted by another presence in the room. The Asset looks away from the boy, and it’s back instantly stiffens when it recognises the Handler. It jumps to its feet, sticking a foot out to still the rattling metal bed-frame, and instantly assumes parade-rest.

“At ease, soldier, ” the Handler says in an amused tone, a half smile on his lips. He doesn’t, however, make any motion for the Asset to sit, or any indication that his words are any more than just that, words, so the Asset remains standing, hands clasped behind its back.

“Anthony Stark,” the Handler says, crouching down on his knees, and reaching out to grip the boy’s jaw firmly. To his credit, the boy stares defiantly back at the Handler, and the Asset thinks that if it weren’t for the hand pressing into his cheeks, the boy might actually attempt to spit on the Handler.

“Pierce,” the boy musters out, in between gritted teeth, “If you wanted to talk, you could’ve just called ahead. There was no need for all this.” The boy waves his hands around, as best he can since they’re being weighed down by chains, “I would’ve scheduled you in.”

“Now we both know that isn’t true,” the Handler says, almost fondly, “What was it you said when I sent Fury looking for you last month? That you’d keep us on hold just to watch the line blink. That’s highly unprofessional Tony, surely your father taught you better than that.”

The boy, Tony, attempts to smile. “He did. Never did put much stock into the old man’s lessons. Bit too old fashioned for my taste.”

The Handler tsks, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, “I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss him, my boy. It’s a shame, because he’s no longer around to drop those pearls of wisdom on you. I would really start cherishing those memories. What is that saying, ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’?’”

The Handler drops his grip on Tony’s jaw, and pushes himself off the floor, dusting his knees. Some of the dirt falls on Tony’s face, and Tony shakes his head vigorously, closing and opening his eyes rapidly. He’s shaking, much like he was when the Asset first entered, but this time, the Asset thinks it’s from anger.

“Asset!” The Handler barks, and it stiffens. “Mission Report. December 16, 1991.”

“Mission: Extraction and Execution. Primary Target: Super-soldier serum,” the Asset intones, “Secondary Target: Howard Stark. Collateral: Maria Stark.”

Tony inhales a sharp breath, exhaling in a splutter like he’s being choked, but the Handler pays him no mind, so the Asset continues.

“Serum extracted at 0200 hours. Secondary target neutralised. Collateral neutralised. Return to base at 0500 hours. Mission successful.”

The Handler nods, once at the Asset, and another time, more firmly, at Tony.

“Like I said,” the Handler says to Tony, “you never know what you have until it’s gone.” Tony doesn’t seem to be paying the Handler any mind, instead glaring at the Asset, and doesn’t even notice when the Handler leaves the room. There’s an outwardly calm that’s overtaken Tony that it is stark contrast to the way he was shivering with anger, and yet, the Asset does not think he is actually calm, not in the slightest.

“You killed my mother, you son of a bitch,” Tony finally murmurs, “I’m gonna rip your heart out and feed it to you.”

**

15 kills (1992)

It is unusual for the Handler to oversee the defrosting process. Normally, when the Asset is brought out of cryo, it is only the Scientist that is waiting for him, flanked by two agents. Occasionally, the Doctor will make an appearance too, if it has been particularly long since the Asset has been wiped.

The Chair means that the Asset does not remember much of anything, but it has come to recognise the tug in it’s gut, that informs it that something is amiss. It should probably inform the Doctor of this malfunction, but it is a feeling that has served the Asset well on previous Missions, so it does not say anything.

It opens its eyes despite the cold, blinking away the remnants of ice that have collected on it’s eyelashes, and waits until it is ordered to sit up. It is when the Asset sits up that it notices the Handler, and the boy standing beside the Handler - arms handcuffed behind him and an old cloth shoved into his mouth.

There is something vaguely familiar about the boy, but the Asset does not know what.

When the Handler realises that he has the Asset’s attention, he raises the hand not resting on the boy’s shoulder, wiggling his fingers. The Handler is smiling, and muttering something to the boy that is causing a complicated amount of emotions on his face, and even makes the boy shuffle forward as if to approach the Asset - before the Handler pulls him back.

“Dr. Barnett, would you mind so kind as to prep the Asset for the Chair?” the Handler asks, even though his tone suggests that it isn’t a request. “I do believe our newest guest requires a demonstration on the repercussions of non-compliance.”

The Asset stiffens ever so slightly at the mention of the Chair but otherwise makes no indication that it is aware of what is happening.

It has been defrosted in the Recalibration Room, so it is simply a matter of stepping out of the cryo chamber, and walking across the room to the Chair. Without instruction, the Asset spreads out its hands and allows itself to be strapped down, relaxing its jaw and clenching down on the plastic bit that is fitted between its teeth.

The Chair rocks back ever so slightly, just as the harness comes down and attaches itself to both of the Asset’s temples, and the Asset involuntarily closes its eyes as electricity courses through its body, forcing it to arch it’s back and lift it’s head up in a silent scream.

“You see, my boy?” it dimly hears the Handler, almost inaudible over the sound of blood rushing through its ears, “Zola wanted us to Wipe you, turn you into an automaton just like Barnes. But I knew better, I knew that there were easier ways to gain your allegiance.”

The pain ebbs and flows, as the Scientist modulates the dials. The Asset is granted a small reprieve, no longer than a breath, before the electricity is ramped up again.

“Stop! Can’t you see you’re hurting him? Stop please! I’ll do whatever you want!”

Just as quick as the electricity is increased, it is abruptly stopped, and the Asset sags against the Chair, taking big, heaving breaths through the bit in its mouth.

“So we have a deal then?” the Handler asks, and a voice that the Asset cannot place replies, “Yes. You stop, you stop torturing him like this, and I’ll do whatever you want. No more fights.”

The Handler is looming over the Asset’s line of sight, presumably having moved closer while the Asset was being Wiped, and he’s smiling.

“Brilliant,” the Handler is looking at the Asset, but the words are meant for someone else. “First order of business - you’re going to upgrade the Asset’s arm. I don’t think it’s been worked on since the 1950s, and that’s an awfully long time, don’t you think?”

“Soldier,” the Handler says, and now the Handler is talking to the Asset, “It’s time you met your new partner in crime. Anthony Edward Stark, Designation: Assistant.”

The Asset spits out the bit, because its hands are still strapped down, and repeats, “Anthony Edward Stark, Designation: Assistant.”

Next to the Handler, the boy, the Assistant, attempts to smile, but it comes out as a grimace.

continue reading on ao3!!

windmill

this fic is based on the song Windmill by Lor (and I highly recommend you to listen to it while reading especially or later for it is an incredible song)

AO3

summary: Here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel.

  Until one day he got hit by a storm so wild, so rare and so incredibly terrifying but in the most beautiful and breath-taking way that it left him defenceless, vulnerable and weak. Like a tiny little flower which had long passed its day of blossoming in a fierce, winter dawn yet it stood erect with its fragile body, challenging against the merciless winds and the brutal frost.

He fell in love.

Windmill, are you still afraid of nothing?

Here is the thing about human life, it isn’t everlasting.

But what is? The world and each and everything within it are mundane. The day is doomed with the night, the sun is doomed with the moon, life is doomed with death, men are doomed with gravity. If something starts, then it is fated to end. It is a vicious circle, living that is. Waking up only to sleep again at night. Earning money only to spend it an hour later on a trouser which you thought was necessary but maybe it wasn’t. Cooking for hours and hours just so you can eat it in mere ten minutes because your body needs food so that you can keep on living, living and living.

Like a windmill, turning, turning and turning to the day when there is not even a breeze to swirl you and you are frozen, unspoken and rigid. 

And here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel. 

Until one day he got hit by a storm so wild, so rare and so incredibly terrifying but in the most beautiful and breath-taking way that it left him defenceless, vulnerable and weak. Like a tiny little flower which had long passed its day of blossoming in a fierce, winter dawn yet it stood erect with its fragile body, challenging against the merciless winds and the brutal frost.

He fell in love.

And he fell in love not like jumping to death from a high up building, piercing through the clouds. It wasn’t as quick as that. He fell in love as if he had jumped into a river. It was slow and it hurt during the process of acknowledging it. Like accepting the fact that you were dying. Yet, instead of fighting against it, he welcomed the embrace of the water like he welcomed his mother’s hold. He let the arms wrap around him firmly. Then gradually the snow cold changed to sunny warm and the heavy water he thought that choked him turned into fresh, light air. 

And he fell in love rather quietly, but he fell in love deep. Then his heart started to move and twirl with the wind. 

She was the whirlwind, and he was the windmill. She was wild, sturdy and destructive. When he waited motionless and steady for merely a breeze to touch his vane, she had brought him a storm. 

And he got carried away with it. 

“Why do you keep looking at that thing?” She asks one day when they are in his apartment and he stands in front of one of his shelves in the living room. 

“It’s a windmill,” he explains, taking his eyes away from the scale model of it to focus them on her. 

“I know that,” she says. The shelf is not that high, so she puts her hands on the edge of it and rests her chin on top of her hands. “I wonder if there is a specific meaning behind it.”

“Like what?”

She shrugs and blows, making the vanes of the windmill move slightly. “Like a memory or… a specific reason that only you know, but you don’t want anybody else to learn.”

He raises a brow. “Then why do you ask?”

“I am a curious one, you know,” she smirks. The afternoon sun highlights her eyes and plays with the colour of her short hair which ends just above her shoulders. Some strands of her brown hair shine a sweet red. It is tied slovenly behind with a little hairpin. “And I would like to learn about my boyfriend’s secrets.” 

Right, boyfriend. Apparently, by some miracle or a dice tossed by luck or during a single second in which God or whoever had a tiny pity on him or because of a good-hearted, gentle and humane ancestor of his she had loved him back. 

“There is no secret,” he looks back at the little maquette. There is really no secret behind it. He had made it himself about four or five years ago when he was still at college, studying architecture. It was just that with time it had gained a place more special and a meaning more solid and a presence heavier.

“Is that so?” she asks, raising her brows and smiling lips pressed, playfully. “Rest assured, I won’t get offended if it’s a gift from one of your earlier lovers.” 

“I don’t have earlier lovers,” he deadpans, glaring at her sideways. 

“What is it then?” She straightens and comes closer, dropping her chin on his shoulder. He spares a few seconds just staring at her inquisitive eyes, demanding answers. His heart beats calm, and he hears its pounds and feels its vibrations. Because of her…

Is the wind still your friend?

“I liken it to my heart,” he looks away, already regretting the words that left his mouth out of command.

There is a pause in the air and faint pink on his cheeks. “Oh,” she reacts at last.  

He cannot move his eyes to her this time, as the silence stretches like a furry, tired cat and it nerves him with each tick-tock he hears from the watch that is hung on the wall. It lasts so long that in the end, he shifts uncomfortably, and Hanji lifts her chin from his shoulder, her eyes, clouded and thoughtful behind her glasses, are focused on the windmill. 

“I see,” she says.

The next day she brings a propeller, almost the same size as the windmill and places it next to it. When she turns it on, the vanes of the scale model twirl slowly. 

Then she looks at Levi who is standing still and astonished. The wind howls in his ears, and his heart beats unsteady because it faces the same storm again. Vicious, wild and free.

And she smiles because she knows.

- 

Levi doesn’t exactly know or rather remember but they end up drunk as hell on one Saturday night. 

They are outside, stumbling together towards the coast road where benches are lined up side by side. The air smells like early summer, with newly blossoming flowers and salt. There is a full moon above the sea, and it reflects argent on the surface of the dark, tranquil water. People walk by every now and then and there are stray dogs and cats around. 

When they somehow manage to sit down on an empty bench, Hanji slips and puts her head on his lap facing the pitch-black sky. She giggles to herself as she watches the stars there are barely visible because of the city lights. “So pretty.”

“Hmm,” he approves, observing her relaxed features, coloured cheeks and the goofy grin on her face. 

“Hey, Hanji,” he rolls out of her tongue. He doesn’t even think or plan on what to say. The following words just stumble their ways out of his mouth. “You are—did you know that I couldn’t drink tea without some honey in it?”

She moves her eyes to his and giggles again, covering her mouth with her hand. “Yes, I realized.”

“Oh,” he blinks as if it’s enough to scatter the clouds in his head. But— whatever. It doesn’t matter now. When he has the stars and moon above, the sea ahead and the girl he loves lying on his lap. “Don’t tell anyone. Nobody knows.”

She nods and draws an invisible zip on her mouth. 

“You know why?” He pushes her glasses up her nose. “The reason why I can’t… drink it without honey?”

Hanji lifts her shoulders up. “Because it tastes like piss without it?”

“Yes.” He is a little surprised at her guessing it right. 

“But Levi,” she laughs. “How do you know what piss tastes like?”

“I don’t—I just know.” He closes her mouth with his hand when her laughter keeps interrupting his sentences. “Shut up, idiot. You are ruining the moment.”

To his surprise, she wraps her fingers around his wrist and kisses his palm. He breathes and his stomach moves as if he was in a car and suddenly rode down a hill. She closes her eyes tightly once to indicate that she is listening. 

“Okay,” he goes on. “So, I can’t drink tea without honey because it tastes like piss.” He inhales, despite his drunken haze. He probably won’t even remember—or will he? How drunk is he anyway? Oh, well. Doesn’t matter. 

“That’s… how my life would be.” Miracles happen. While sober he would rather die than utter these words out loud. Maybe it’s a good thing that he is tanked up. Because she deserves to learn. “Without you.”

Her are eyes wide open, and Levi thinks there are galaxies hidden in them. He doesn’t know if there is anything that is infinite or a life that would last forever. Does  forever  even exist? Does the sky have an end or space a beginning? Humans are such incapable creatures. Cannot go back a day before or has no idea what will happen a second later. Hanji is a human being, flesh, bone, blood and a little too much brain, a little too many feelings, and sentiments. And she is not indefinite, at all. But somehow, she makes him feel like she is. 

“Levi,” she says, pulling his hand away from her mouth. Her eyes are still big behind her glasses and her cheeks are even redder than before. “Does this mean you’re going to call me honey from now on?”

And somehow, she manages to annoy him with every goddamn chance she gets.

He frowns and pushes her shoulder, almost making her fall down the bench. She is bursting with laughter in seconds and wraps her arms around his waist to secure herself and buries her face in his abdomen.

“I’m breaking up with you,” he announces coldly.

“You cannot break up with me. We are drunk.”

“I can. I just did.”

“No,” she groans and presses her face deeper in his stomach. 

“Let go, you ungrateful woman.”

“I caaan’t,” she whimpers. “Levi I—” The rest of her words are muffled; he cannot pick up their meaning and form a logical sentence in his mind. 

“What?” He asks, bending his head down.

“I said, I loppffhhhppp…” 

“I don’t understand what you are saying, Hanji.” He puts his hand on her shoulder to push her back. He is convinced at this point that she is not forming legible words, intentionally.

Unexpectedly, she withdraws and puts her hands on his shoulders to lift herself up. Then leans in to rest her head right beside his neck, nuzzling his skin. “We should go back,” she murmurs. “My place is closer.”  

Levi has no idea what time it is when they miraculously manage to enter her house after a taxi drive which felt like years. They take unsteady and clumsy steps inside the house until Levi finds a door of which room, he is unaware of. He only looks for something to lay down on, then catches the sight of a couch with the limited light provided through the half-drawn curtains. He throws himself to it, without even bothering to take his jacket off. He only kicks his shoes out of his feet and tosses until he finds a comfortable position to sleep. 

Hanji gets into the room a few seconds later. Levi watches her with half-lidded eyes and sees that she has a blanket in her hands. He frowns. How the hell had she had enough wits in her head to think of a blanket? But sleep weighs down on him incredibly heavy and so very unusually that he is almost scared to make it run away. He doesn’t have the strength the utter proper words at the moment anyway. 

Hanji lies down on his chest, covering them with the blanket. He automatically wraps his arms around her as she presses her forehead on his neck. She whines. “I hope I don’t throw up during the night.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he mutters. The clean freak inside of him is alarmed and screams with worry and dismay. He has no voice though. Just a wide mouth open in a silent yell and eyes filled with apprehension. 

“Would you break up with me if I did?” Hanji asks, and he feels her smile in her sleepy voice.

A moment of consideration. “No.”

She huffs out a drowsy chuckle. “Levi,” she murmurs and sighs. “I love, love, love you.”

Are you still afraid of something? Is it you who command?

“Idiot,” he says affectionately. The vanes of the windmill twirl ever so rapidly, and he considers how weird it is for his heart to beat, pound and feel for somebody else, for her only. “I love, love, love you too.”

-

The subway moves swift through the night and they are alone inside the compartment at this hour of the day. Levi watches their reflection on the window when Hanji takes a few photos with her phone. Grinning from ear to ear while Levi has a dead, worn-out look rooted deeply in his eyes. Travelling around the city to visit historical places, museums and parks within just one single day was the worst idea he had ever agreed to. He barely had the energy to merely sit.

“Gonna post these on Instagram,” she twitters happily, swinging left and right. 

“Don’t forget to announce my funeral,” Levi murmurs. 

Hanji snorts and locking her phone she puts it back in her pocket. Then she shifts and lies her head on his lap, staring up at him. 

“Why do you always lie on my lap in public places?” He asks, looking down at her.

She shrugs. “I enjoy the view above.”

“Tch.” One corner of his lips quivers and he moves his gaze up, looking at the window across from him again. This time he realizes that there is heavy rain outside, the raindrops tap furiously against the glass. “Shit,” he swears tiredly. “It’s raining.”

She follows his gaze. There isn’t much before they reach their stop. They are going to soak to their goddamn underwears. It had been sunny the whole day. Curse his luck.

“Alas!” she sighs, but she doesn’t sound much concerned. “Levi,” she says then, and when their gazes are locked again, she beams at him. “Would you kiss me under the rain?” 

He blinks down at her first, his heart stammering hard against his ribcage. His eyes examine her features carefully. “Would you like me to?”

“Yes,” she breaths. “I’ve never done it before.”

“Me neither.”

“How do you think it would be?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I’ve never done it before.”

Her smile widens to display her straight, white teeth. “We should try it.”

“Maybe.” He watches her lips. They are a sweet shade of pink and they look maddeningly soft. And he wants to taste them so very desperately. 

“Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen to your chastity.”

His gaze travels up to her eyes. “I am sure.”

It is still pouring rain when they leave the subway. Hanji leads them through the streets, with her fingers around his. He licks the rain on his lips and squints to get a better view of her. He smells wet asphalt and trees and earth. The odour of the pine trees is evident despite the rain. The splashing drops bounce on the ground like they are dancing up and down, but they slow down until they stop under a streetlamp. 

“We should do it before the rain ends,” Hanji explains excitedly. As if what they were going to do wasn’t something basically everyone did but a life-changing, world-saving act of heroism. 

Her lips taste like rain and they are warm against his own. When her hands cling to the collars of his jacket, he cups her cheeks and tilts his head. Much to their unfortunate luck, the rain almost ceases, turns into a drizzle that barely had any function of wetting anything. She smiles, but Levi doesn’t pull back for a little longer. Holds her gently, keeps her close. 

Are you still afraid of the wind?

“Let’s dance,” she whispers against his lips. Her breath warm, her taste still on his tongue. 

“There is no song.” And the rain stopped already. 

She wraps an arm around his neck and holds one of his hands. He slides his other arm on her waist keeping up with her movements, while she   rests her forehead on his temple. “We don’t need a song.”

They start to move slowly, following the notes of a song that doesn’t exist. The wind is blowing still, quietly. If he listens carefully, he can hear the pitter patters of the water dropping down from the rooftops, and the soft sounds of the wheels of the cars rolling on the wet ground, a plane taking off, a man coming back from work, his rapid footsteps.  Tap, tap, tap.  And his heart, content like he is lying down on the grass, with breezes caressing his face, ruffling his hair ever so slightly. Watching how quietly the vanes turn on top of a hill.

Oh, windmill.

You’re a place where I can cry.

You’re a place where I can lie.

You’re a place where I can die. 

Hey!

I love Penelope Douglas for sure check her out! She writes some of the best smut tbh. I’m working my way through her devils night series right now-I’m on book 2. It’s good so far, definitely dark though. I’m interested to see how she goes about a redemption arc for the character Damon right now I don’t think he deserves one but I hear such good things about his book, Killswitch, but that’s book 3 so I will see how it goes. I definitely recommend Birthday Girl from her though I loved it and the couple from it are my favorite age gap could I’ve ever read. I find myself still re reading some of their best moments.

I am slightly embarrassed by Credence though so I hope it doesn’t bother you too much if you read it. Just so you know before going into it, it is about her and her step uncle/cousins. To be fair they are not blood related and very distance to the point she didn’t even know about them. But she does call him Uncle Jake during a sex scene, and the two others call her cousin during one too. There’s also a MMF scene with her two cousins. But on top of that there is a sexual assault scene (it does get stopped but the intent is there)-personally I wasn’t a fan of how she inwardly dealt with that scenario it felt like she was blaming herself for it instead of holding the other character accountable. Uncle Jake also does kiss her when she is still 17. So if any of that makes you uncomfortable don’t read it.

I’m so happy you liked the atlas six as much as I did. I can’t believe we have to wait until next year for the sequel to see what happens. It’s too long!! I also liked Callum the least, I still appreciated his character though and what he brings to the story I just wasn’t a fan of his, probably because of his problems with Libby/Parisa. Plus his powers terrify me-as someone who likes to have full control of my emotions the fact that someone could just change everything scares me. I also loved Nico he is my typical character that I love the whole I’m an asshole but soft and caring for the people I love gets me every time. Parisa is my queen though I’m obsessed with her. Like I’m literally in love with her, I wish she was real so she could be with me instead. Not that she would because I’m broke have 0 magic or power to give to her, but still. But I have a thing for power hungry women so I was gone the second I met her. But anyway if she was real she could destroy me or do anything she wanted to me and I would say thank you. Reina I also love and agree she could destroy the whole planet and one day probably will. I just love how she is there and wants all that knowledge but also doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else. Tristan also grew on me I’m still not completely sure how much I like or don’t like him yet he gets annoying sometimes because he is constantly in his mind about his alliances but I also love how loyal and caring he is. Libby is my girl!! I also relate to her as well since I was an outcast and battled inadequacy and all that (you and I must have some stuff in common!) Out of all the characters I relate to her the most and am rooting for her so hard-also because the author made her from Pittsburgh and I’m also from the area so I felt personally attached. But Olivie just did an interview and said Libby is getting a corruption arc and I am so excited about it!!

Okay ships- so I will be honest and I think it’s an unpopular opinion but oh well-I am a nicolibby stan. They have every single dynamic that I love in a ship and they could potentially be my favorite book couple of all time if that is the road they are being taken. Honestly I was obsessed with them from their first interaction so i have it bad for them. Obviously I know they were not romantic in this book but the potential (at least for me) was there especially in some of their quotes in the end. I fully believe they are soulmates though-even the author said they were born on the same day and feel like their other half is missing in an interview once-whether that will be platonic soulmates or romantic soulmates I have no idea and I could see either happening. My heart will break if it is platonic but it’s okay I can just live in my own little head about their potential.

But I get the idea and also like both libbytristan and NicoGideon and could see those happening instead of nicolibby too. I wouldn’t say I would be mad about it either-I do like both just to me the potential of nicolibby works more for me! My only thing about libbytristan though is I’m not sure how much of their tension/feelings are real (like did any of it exist before Parisa put the idea of the other person in their thoughts to lead to all the feelings.)

Weirdly enough since they probably my least favorite characters I also adore Tristan and Callum together. Their dynamic just works for me.

And I love Parisa and Dalton too and I’m so interested in how that relationship pans out because they have some stuff to figure out. But they work well together and honestly they are just so sexy together so I’m down for it. Although I do ship myself with Parisa more than her and Dalton but I’m biased.

Honestly though all the ships are wide open though so I’m curious to see what ends up being endgame. But omg yes the twist I was not expecting it-I’m so excited for the rest of this trilogy!!!

In other news though I finished up the ravenhood series. I know you said you either read it or it was on your tbr. But god I loved it. That series broke me and then put back all the pieces. If you haven’t read it and want to feel both heartbreak and happiness I highly recommend it!

Oh and don’t apologize for babbling as you can tell I also babble!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hiiiii sweets!

I've been sifting through a bunch of summaries of Penelope Doulgas' work on Goodreads and there's a bunch of stuff there I think I'd enjoy. I'm all about good smut. I didn't realize she had that many books. I'm excited! Thanks so much for the rec! I love dark romances/erotica every now and again so I'm also going to have to dive into the Devil's Night series at some point.

Oh, and idk if you know about it/read it but a couple of my friends told me about the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day a while back. It's BDSM, like Fifty Shades, but supposedly loads better. I don't know if you're into that but I figured I'd just throw it out there anyway. The smut is supposed to be steamy. I haven't read it yet but I do have the first four novels on my Kindle (where they've been sitting, unread, for about 2 years now)...so that's something haha.

And please don't be embarrassed about Credence. Seriously, the most wonderful thing about reading is you can go wherever tf you want in your imagination. No one can stop you. There are no rules. No restrictions. You can be whomever or whatever you want to be for a while, morality notwithstanding. One of my favorite things about books is that I can experience the most bonkers, outlandish out-of-this-world stuff that I'd never dream of wanting/liking in real life. It's liberating!

Thank you for the trigger warnings, though. I appreciate that. None of them sound off-putting enough to keep me from reading it. (Tbh, I want to read it more now.) I've read loads of books where characters marry or have sex with their cousins or siblings *waves at ASOIAF, the Secret History* so it doesn't bother me. I've also read most of Lolita and all of My Dark Vanessa by Kate Russell, which both romanticize pedophilia in disturbing degrees, so it takes a lot to put me off. If curiosity could kill then I'd be long dead by now. Hell, sometimes I will purposely read things I know will upset me to my core. What can I say? I'm a weirdo. 🙃

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT A YEAR FOR BOOK 2 OF THE ATLAS SERIES, EITHER. AHHHHH. How am I going to make it that long? It seems so far away!

Callum is the most terrifying of them all right now, imo. I think that's why I disliked him the most. Like you, it shook me to my core to imagine someone like him being able to toy with my emotions. I have a tendency to detach, to keep my emotions pressed close to my chest so that I can't be manipulated or hurt, and the idea that someone could have power over them, over me in that way is...no freaking thank you! I would put as much space between him and me as possible. Most of the Atlas crew had the right idea there. He does bring a lot to the story, though, like you said. I have a feeling he's going to be one of those characters I "love to hate" as the series progress. I might even grow to "hate to love" him, idk. He's just such a shady bastard! And so judgmental/mean to the girls.

I'm with you on Parisa, by the way. She's the kind of conniving, ambitious siren of a woman I can get behind. She has a similar vibe as Katherine Pierce on TVD. I mean, there's nothing in her arsenal she won't use and I love how she weaponizes her beauty. It's delicius. She's unpredictable. Definitely the type of character who inspires "scared and aroused" energy any time she walks into a room. Like, she could choke you and instead of crying you'd just ask her to do it again...harder lol.

Reina has the same kind of "no fucks given" attitude I have because I genuinely don't care what people think of me, either. I'm just here to do my thing. Be nerdy. Learn. Whatever. And Nico is my fave for the same reason as you--the asshole who only has soft edges for those who matter to him. *heart eyes*

Omg, Libby is going to have a corrupted arc? AHHHHH. That's going to be amazing, I cannot stinking wait! I was sort of hoping she'd go dark so now that it's confirmed I'm even more pumped. Also, I think you and I have more in common than either of us realized. I'm from the Pittsburgh area, too! How wild is that? Maybe there's something in the water here and that's why, like Libby, we've both felt inadequate and like outcasts at different points in our lives? Olivie might be onto something here...🤔

The thing that's been so cool for me about this series so far is that there are a bunch of potential pairings I could get behind. And I kind of like that it's not clear cut right now. Most series I know who I want together or who will be together like halfway through book 1. I like that I don't know have firm preferences and am still open. That's novel. Not to mention fun!

I don't blame you for shipping Nicolibby so hard, though. They're definitely one of my top contenders for a romantic pairing. They have that enemies-to-lovers element with witty banter that I always gravitate toward. And you're right about Libby/Tristan. I don't know how much of their connection was manufactured because Parisa intervened, either. That'll be fun to puzzle out moving forward. And Callum/Tristan should NOT be a ship I like but they have a palpable something that I can't put my finger on. I've got my eye on them, for sure.

The Ravenhood series is still on my tbr. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much, though! It's rare to read something that just ticks all your boxes. The next time I'm the mood to binge a series I'm gonna have to pick that one up. :-D

I've been trying to clear out my backlog of ARCs lately. (Not possible because I'm getting more on the regular - as in constantly haha - but I'm trying.) I just finished Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult, which has a Sliding Doors premise that is set during the pandemic where the main character has a parallel life experience (one, where she's in the Galapagos Islands on vacation when the shutdown hits so she's stuck there with strangers, alone, not speaking the language; the other, where she's in Manhattan with her surgeon boyfriend and recovering from COVID). It's intense but so, SO good! Picoult is such a good writer. Anything I've read by her has been moving, with rounded and real characters. I haven't been disappointed yet. I so recommend her.

Oh, and if you're into nonfiction/biographies at all I finished The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson not long ago, which is about Winston Churchill as well as those around him, and it was fantastic! Read more like fiction. I loved it. I am no longer surprised it was on all the BEST lists for 2020.

Crying In The Club .7

Yandere!Overhaul x F!Reader

*Part 1* *Part 2* *Part 3* *Part 4* *Part 5* *Part 6* *Part 7*

Warnings: Death, gore, yandere overhaul, kidnapping

A/N: Ah skeet skeet motherfuckers were back again. Here’s some more food for ya’ll. Enjoy. Sorry that its short again. I PROMISE PROMISE THAT TOMORROWS WILL BE LONGER

Taglist

@hello-lucky-luka @winchester-wifey

~~~

“Is the room ready Chrono?” Kai asked as he walked down the corridor. The sound of his shoes hitting the tile floor, making his footsteps wing through the entire compound.

“Yes Overhaul, the room’s all ready.” Chrono answered as he walked behind Kai. He was a little skeptical about the whole ordeal but would much rather have you then the one that Kai has now.

“Good.” Kai smiled under his mask. Your room was ready for you to come back and stay there. You were coming back to him and away from that scum. You would be much safer here where your pure body would not be tainted by the outside world anymore.

Kai had stopped right in front of the door of your soon to be new room. It had everything except things to contact anyone of course. You had the most expensive clothes and jewelry. Your bed was highly recommended, a desk and everything you could ever ask for. You would never need to leave your room.

“Kai my boy whats this?” Kai jumped at the sound of Pops coming near him. He quickly tired to figure out a lie that pops would believe. He didn’t want to seem suspicious and accidentally spill his plan.

“Him and (Y/N) are getting back together.” Chrono said quickly, covering for Kai.

‘Thank you Chrono.’ Kai sighed internally. 

“Thats great news! To be honest I liked her more then (R/N).” Pops laughed as he patted Kai on the shoulder. 

‘Good to know he likes her, since she’ll be staying with us for quite some time.’

“Well come get me when you bring her here again!”

“Will do.’

~~~

‘Okay so It’s his birthday today, what should I get him?’ You look through out the entire mall. Going in and out of stores. Nothing looking up to your standards. You want to get him something that he’ll cherish forever. Not something he’ll have for a few months then throw away like a video game.

Looking around trying to pinpoint the right store for your ever so loving boyfriend you get this sick feeling as if someones watching you. Goosebumps litter you skin as the feeling got stronger the longer you looked in front of you. You move your feet faster as you drag yourself to the food court.

As you take a seat on the cold leather booth near the back exit, you get the feeling again, just stronger. Sitting by the back exit will do you some good since you can run if you need to. Before you thought of what could give you this uneasy feeling a cold hand placed itself on your shoulder. You slowly snake your eyes towards the hand that adorned your shoulder before you felt your whole world shatter around you.

“K-Kai? What are you doing here” You say as you feel his gloved hand caress your skin gently. The feeling was anything less then welcoming.

“I’ve decided to take back whats rightfully mine. I can’t believe you would find some rat so soon.” If it weren’t for his mask you would have definitely felt his breath on your neck. Even if you couldn’t feel his breath, the warmth of his body surrounded around you. But instead of comforting you, it made your boy fill ice cold.

“I’m not yours...you let me go remember?” Your whole body shook as he motioned for you to stand up.. You obliged in fear of what he would do to you. No matter what kind of voice he talked to you in, you always got a horrific memory of what event happened when he used said voice.

“See still a good girl as always. Now come on, we’ve got to go back to the base. Everyone is waiting for your return.”

“But...what about-”

“Dead. I never want to hear you talk about him ever again understand? Don’t even mutter his name.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze. Making you let out a yelp of pain. Considering that it was the shoulder where he carved his initials into you, the pain was more severe that it would have been originally if it weren’t there at all. But since it was, it made a pain shoot up all the way into your shoulder and down your arm.

“Yes Kai, I understand.” Your voice more of a whisper as he lead you out of the mall and into the familiar black car. The car that once excited you now gave you a feeling of dread and fear.

You sit on the leather seats as you look away from the monster besides you. You curled your toes in your shoes as your fingernails dug into the leather seats. Your body shaking in fear. The warm air brushing against your the skin of your cheeks.

“Don’t look so scared my angel. Your going to be more safe with me then you ever where with that rat. I don’t need your replacement anymore now. THank god, she was annoying anyway.” You were going to scoot away from hiim only to have his arm wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him. He lifted you up and sat you on his lap. His strong arms showing no signs of releasing you.

“Your gonna love your new room angel.”

~~~

You step out of the car and your shoes hitting the ground. You felt yous legs turn into jelly. Fear making you so weak. YOu tried showing that you weren’t afraid that you were here on your own choice. But you were utterly terrified. Everything you’ve been through flashed before your eyes.

Your hands felt like they were holding satans. The latex of his gloves in between your fingers gave you a sickening feeling. The latex of his gloves made your skin prickle.

“Look happy angel. Pops will be home soon. Can’t have him seeing you scared face. Plus being scared isn’t a good look on you. I love your smile so much more.” You nodded as you try to put on a more convincing happy face as you walked towards the door.

It opens with a soft squeak and everyone looks at you, causing you to squirm and tense up. Kai growled as he gave everyone a glare that could kill and everyone immediately went back to work. 

You felt his strong hand pull you down the corridor. His thumb rubbing your knuckles. You wanted to vomit. Why did he think that you would so willing come back to him? You were just terrified of what he could do to you if you didn’t. You didn’t know what kind of drug he was on. Before you got even more lost in your thoughts a familiar voice rang through your ears and it hits you all at once.

“Kai lets go to the mall! I want new diamond earrings-why the hell is that wench doing here?” It was her. There was no fucking way. Out of everyone in Japan it had to be that bitch. That same bitch who posted pictures of your crying face all throughout the bar you use to work at. He really got her as your replacement. It kinda pissed you off in an unexplained way.

“Be careful of what you say (ex co-workers name), this is my angel and I will no longer be needing your services. Get out.” The last bit of Kai’s words sent a shiver down your spine. You hated when he used that threatening voice. You felt extremely uncomfortable when the girl looked your way. Her piercing eyes staring right through your soul. Making you feel so small.

“No longer be needing my services?! Well it would be a shame if someone were to tell Pops all about your little secret-” Her voice forever was silenced as her body turned into only a blood splat on the wall.

Her once alive body was now covering the walls, nothing but a big splatter of blood as it dripped down the walls. Her blood covered your face and some of your clothes. You felt her blood seep through your clothes and cover your face. You were speechless. You just witnessed Kai kill her. It’s not like you didn’t knwo he was a dangerous man but that didn’t mean him killing her in front of you wasn’t traumatizing. You would never get the image of her body turning into a puddle of blood.

“Disgusting. Finally she’s gone.” Kai grunted as he let go of your hand as he violently scratched at his skin. Trying to get her blood off his skin and clothes. Hives decorating his skin. He groaned before looking at you seeing you shake as you looked at your hands. Which were covered in her blood. Her blood covering a majority of your body.

“Don’t be scared my precious angel. I promise I will never do it to you again. I can’t even imagine seeing you in such a state in my own eyes again.” He grabbed your shoulder and brought you to his chest which was also covered in her blood. Smearing all over your face.

‘Please just let me go damnit. I was so close.’ Tears pour out of your eyes as they stream down your face when you felt his gloved hand pet his hair.

Of Rubies and Sapphires

Document link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MXlNYYIQPVEeOXwsWuA4WIQ6E-LPJ-Z1BYljZbqlfuM/edit?usp=sharing

Trapped by the shadow brought to life by a magical mirror as she wanders the realm of darkness, Aria is forced to finally reconcile with the other aspect of “herself”, once assumed to have been devoured by the dark. (1656 words) My piece written for Our Canon Now! 2020, a self-insert zine created by ginari and shirorabu.

Tag list (joinable via this link!): @softskiesahead | @dragonsmooch | @thatslikesometaldude | @lilacslovers | @lux-has-too-many-fos | @beeon | @insomniaships | @setzale​ | @candyforthebrain​ | @rixbar | @elf-and-a-heart

This was my contribution to the self-insert zine created at the end of last year! I was really happy to be able to take part in such a great project, especially since it let me write out this scene between Aria and Ves. I also created an MMD render to portray a specific part, so.. I’ll have to see if I can find that, too!

Reblogs are appreciated but not by any means required - I also highly recommend going and checking out all the other wonderful art and writing in the zine!! As always, there’s a transcript of the doc under the readmore, too~ 

 I spoke aloud to myself as I stood before a tall oval mirror, coldly ornate with a rim of decorative gold. Dotted about the design were a series of red and blue gemstones, well-crafted in spite of their current neglect. The glass itself was smooth and clear, but obscured by a film of dust and dirt, so that the details reflected were hazy. A shame, really - for the backdrop it faced was a sea of glittering fragments, suspended in the air for as far as the eye could see. This was the shadow of a sky, and I appeared to have found my way to an open-air gallery. Here and there, sparkling shards shone a thousand colours in the flickering lights of the torch fires, subtly shimmering as flames flickered and glowed. Behind all of these lay the purest black of darkness - the fabric which held this entire realm together, ripped raw to expose itself wholly.

 I was no stranger to this endless abyss; in fact, it made a welcome change to have something so bright and yet piercingly empty stand before it. A useless curtain, if it were meant for obscuring - but the glittering glass still reminded me of the stars I had not seen for so long. Now though, afraid of where my mind would take me if I dwelled on such matters for too long - and wanting to discern what was actually happening - I turned back again to face the wall where the mirror hung.

..Now that I thought about it, something was missing from its reflection - myself. 

And then, like a fool, I stepped closer.

 I expected to see the familiar sights of my wings, my eyes, my ears - the parts of me that turn others away. Instead I was faced with something a lot more human, which appeared out of nowhere in the mirror. She had the same face that I wore, but her eyes were wrong - instead of hard amber, her eyes were a brilliant green. And staring directly into mine with piercing anger. I was startled and tried to step backwards, but the girl reached out of the mirror and grabbed my right arm’s sleeve. Caught off-guard, I slipped on the cold stone under me and awkwardly fell forwards. The reflection was undaunted, though, and wrenched herself backwards with a shout to pull me straight through the mirror glass. 

 I instinctively tensed up and closed my eyes, expecting a shower of shards in my face, but instead was sent tumbling into a curious space inside the mirror itself. The ground was solid, but my entrance sent some kind of ripple through the floor, as if I had landed in shallow water. There was no real difference between the walls and the floor - both were made of a strange dark blue material, like some kind of clouded silk. However, as I had found out firsthand by crashing into it, this material was hard and solid to the touch. What was this world within..?

 That was anything but my main concern, though, as I quickly came to my senses and tried to get back to my feet. The imperfect reflection was doing the same, having managed to launch herself backwards by pulling me through the mirror. Now I could see her in perfect clarity, no longer obscured by the dust time had left on the glass - and she was in quite a state. She wore the same clothes that I did, but where mine were comfortable and deliberate, hers looked forced-on and ill-fitting. Her hair hung limply on either side of her face, with no sign of my cat’s ears, and my pitch-black wings were nowhere to be seen either. It was like she was someone human, someone normal, trying to dress up as me. There was anger pulsing through her body, but it seemed somehow hesitant, and her face was soaked with a thousand tears. I could work with that.

“Why have you brought me here?” I asked her. No use fighting when you can reason with someone, after all. Especially given that I could not summon my Keyblade, and if this entity had tried to reflect my appearance then there was every chance it could mirror my power.

“You know why!” she cried, in a voice like a child’s. “Look at what you’ve done to me!”

Oh.

That wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. “So you’re saying that you’re-”

“Look at me!” She yelled to drown me out and pointed at herself with a sob. “I never wanted to be like this. You’re the one who did this to me!”

In the face of her anguish, I refused to let my rising emotions show. “You say it like you think I don’t know that, Ves.”

“Don’t call me that!-” 

 All of a sudden she lunged out towards me - I tried to leap out of her way, but there was nowhere to go and I was too close to the edge of the “room” to try and fly. There was a flash of ice as Ves tried to summon a blade of her own - but like mine, it faltered into nothing. It seemed we were linked in that aspect. In retaliation, I sent forth a blast of dark fire to get her away from me so that I could regain the upper hand. I was tired from my previous exploring, but my magic was always at its height in this realm, thanks to all the darkness to augment it. Luckily, that held true in the mirror too, and she was flung backwards again.

 If nothing else, her reaction to her name confirmed my suspicions. This was not a reflection at all. Instead, she was what remained of the vessel I had taken so long ago, what I had used to live on and be complete again. I had assumed whatever was left of her had faded away with time; perhaps that was the reason for her having almost the same appearance as me. Given a choice, she would certainly not have done so, but it may well have been the only way the mirror could give her a form.

 To try and show that most human of aspects - mercy - I kept low and attempted to look as non-threatening as possible. This was not something I could do easily, but I tried anyway, lowering my wings and removing the mask over my mouth. Ves’ eyes widened at this, and she retained her anger, but sadness was building up behind it. It was clear that despite her outburst, she was not seeking to destroy me - perhaps she realised that doing so would lead to her demise as well, or perhaps it was merely that she was not a fighter.

“Fine, then.” I paused, and used the name I took from her. “Aria. That’s you, isn’t it?”

“I’m me.” she started coldly, then I think she realised what I had actually said. “You- you stole my name. Like everything else about me.”

No way of getting around that, unfortunately. “I suppose that’s true. So, what, have you come to take it back?”

“I- yes! I have to get rid of you!!”

 She was clearly caught off-guard, however defiantly she stated her intentions. The fact she had no weapon was likely the main factor, although there was still every chance she could use the same magic as me. It was then that I realised the mirror had appeared behind her - and through it, I caught a glance of the real world I had come from. A chance to escape! The ceiling of this strange space looked too low, but there was still a way of getting around her. I slowly crouched lower, let my wings unfurl, darted to the side as Ves flinched from the sudden movement- and my hand brushed against hers when I passed her.

 A cascade of emotions brought me to the floor. All her anguish, all her pain, from all those years - I felt every aspect of it in a single moment. She was what I had used to live on, the reason I could be as I am now; but how I had repaid the favour? In the most Heartless way I could have - by twisting her form, taking her name, and leaving her dormant. She was a shell trapped in slumber, with her light consumed and overshadowed. No more than a soul left to fade away in place of all it could have been. How could I have done that to her? To anyone?

I turned and looked up at her, now understanding what I had put her through, but unable to speak through the emotions. Ves seemed to notice that, too, and her expression had shifted - perhaps our connection had reunited her with the memories I had that she never experienced.

Then she spoke, with what felt like a much more characteristic quietness. “Can you.. let me be myself again?”

I rose to my feet, and gave only an honest answer. “I can’t let go of you entirely. I don’t remember how to. But.. if you have the strength to show up, I won’t fight it. I’ve kept you down long enough.”

“..I understand.” She smiled, even if it was not all she was hoping to hear. “Thank you, Aria.”

“You’re welcome.. Aria.”

A more amused smile from her this time. “That’s going to be confusing, isn’t it?”

We both managed to laugh at that one, despite ourselves, and as I stepped through the mirror, the sound of her laughter shifted from outside to inside me as my reflection became nothing more than that. I felt different now, but as the cold and empty realm sprawled itself before me again, I knew for sure that I had done something right for once. And I had a new goal in sight - to find a way for us both to survive.

Everlasting

Summary: People always said that Hollywood was a whole other world. Soon, (Y/N) was about to find out just how different Hollywood could be. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader Pairing: Jensen x Reader Warnings: AU/Fluff/Angst Word Count: 5564 Prompts: “Loving me is a death sentence.” / “We found each other. That’s all that matters.” A/N #1: This is for @supernatural-jackles​ SPN Bi- Weekly Writing Challenge. Don’t judge me… I’ve been rewatching/rereading Twilight. *ducks from flying objects* A/N #2: Jensen Photo Edit Credited To: @justjensenanddean​

I stopped in front of the Stage One door, looking up at the massive building in front of me. The last month had led up to this very day. I was hired on by Warner Brothers to be the Personal Assistant to Jared Padalecki while he filmed in Vancouver. Even though being a PA was a horrible job, working on the set of my favorite TV show was a dream. I had spent my days leading up to my moving to Vancouver training my inner fangirl to be a normal human being.

“Remember they eat, breath, poop just like any other human.” I whispered to myself on the plane ride from my hometown.

“Girl, please! They are sculpted from marble by the hand of God himself. Just don’t embarrass us in front of them. Make a good impression!” She commanded as if I had any control over that.

Now, standing in front of the main sound stage, my stomach coiled into an anxious knot. Trembling I took a step forward through the door and found myself looking into the Men of Letters Bunker. My inner fangirl squealed with delight urging my body to walk through the set.

“Can I help you?” A tall, dark haired man stood with a camera rig around his waist.

I cleared my throat of the large lump forming within it, “Yeah, my name is (Y/N) and it’s my first day as a PA. The studio told me to go to Stage One when I arrived this morning.”

He smiled a soft chuckle coming from his chest, “Oh you must be Jared’s new wrangler. Here I will show you where to go.”

I followed him to a small office building that had on site office staff and writers housed. He pointed me in the direction of Susan, the executive assistant to Jim Michaels. She was on the phone as she waved me into her office. Standing off to the side was another woman with long, wavy blonde hair. Her fit body was covered by a simple pair of dark jeans, soft chocolate sweater and black knee high boots.

She stuck her hand out towards me, “Hi, I’m Ash. You must be Jared’s new PA.”

Shaking her hand I nodded, “I’m (Y/N).”

“I’m so excited you’re here. Now I don’t have to keep my eyes on both of them. I’m Jensen’s PA so you’ll be hanging with me quite a bit.”

Susan ended her call smiling up at the both of us, “Fantastic, you’re here! I will go with you to meet Jared and then you can shadow Ash for this week. How did your move go?”

“As well as could be expected moving from Kansas to Vancouver. My apartment is amazing.” It was the truth. The apartment Warner Brothers provided was twice the size of the one I had in Kansas.

Ash chuckled, “Yeah it’s nice until you have two Texans crashing your place at all hours.”

My eyes must have widened because both ladies began to laugh, “I haven’t told anyone that you are a fan, (Y/N).”

“Oh… yeah…” I felt my cheeks burning and my inner fangirl was doing cartwheels.

“We’ll keep that between us for now. Jensen and Jared will eat you alive if they found out that juicy piece of information.” Ash chuckled as I noticed Susan flinch slightly.

They led me back towards the row of trailers, the first of which, they stopped and knocked on the door. My heart was beating against my chest and my hands began to shake as the door opened. There stood Jared Padalecki in all his 6’4” glory. His chestnut hair damp from a shower, his light gray t-shirt clinging to his sculpted body and the waistband of his boxers peeking out from his low hanging jeans.

I sucked in a shaky breath making Ash chuckled beside me

“Jared this is your new PA, (Y/N). Be nice.” Susan warned, narrowing her eyes at him.

His laughter echoed around them, “I’m always nice. It’s great to meet you (Y/N). Susan and Jim have told me great things about you. Hopefully, we’ll be great friends.” He held out his hand to me.

When I placed mine in his, the heat coming off of it surprised me. The corner of his lips curling upward into a sly smirk. His hazel eyes caught my attention as flecks of emerald and sapphire seemed to shine. He let go of her hand taking a step towards Ash then leaning down to kiss her kiss.

“Now I see why you needed a new PA.” I mentioned as they both smiled at me, “I look forward to working and getting to know you.”

“Me as well. Are you taking her to meet grumpy pants?” Jared looked at Susan who brow was furrowed at the interaction.

Ash groaned, “Oh no, I thought after last night he would be in a better mood.”

Looking from Susan to Ash it seemed everyone was in on the secret except me, “I’m sure we don’t need to bother him before filming. I can always meet him another time.”

“I’ll take her over to meet him. I need to check in with him anyway and it will be a good experience for her.” Ash reached up giving Jared a quick kiss then stepping away from him.

“I think you have this under control, so if you need anything (Y/N) just come to my office. Please check in with me when you’re done with your day.” Susan did not wait for a reply and walked back towards the offices.

Jared chuckled, “You’d think after all this time that she would be used to us. Ugh!” Ash smacked him in the stomach giving him a stern look.

“Come on (Y/N), let’s go meet Jensen.” Ash and I waved goodbye to Jared.

We walked a couple of trailers down and again my heart began to race. I tried taking a few deep breaths to calm down but the moment she knocked on the door all the air in my lungs vanished. The door opened and Jensen Ackles looked down at us.

“Ash, why so early?” His velvet voice sent shivers down my body.

A slight breeze blew past us and his lean body went rigid. His bright olive eyes darkened to a deep forest green. His fists were clenched at his sides and I could see his arms trembling. Jensen narrowed his menacing gaze at me freezing me in place.

“Go. Away. Now.” He seethed going back into his trailer and slamming the door.

Wide eyed and stunned, I turned to Ash who was looking perplexed, “(Y/N) why don’t you go to craft services. Tell them you want Jared’s usually breakfast and bring it back to his trailer. I will meet you there.”

“O-Okay.”

Ash directed me to where craft services were and the wonderful owners started chuckling when I asked for Jared’s usual. I carefully balanced three cups of coffee atop of three styrofoam containers filled to the brim with eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, muffins and a small cup of fruit. Before I could knock, Ash opened the door to let me inside.

“Great job! My first day, I spilled the coffee.” Ash began to open the containers taking some food for herself and one of the coffees.

She handed another one to me with a soft smile, “Where’s Jared?”

“He’ll be back. He’s having a heart to heart with Jensen. For today, I would just stay clear of him.” I nodded sipping my coffee as Jared came back in frowning.

The morning and afternoon flew by as the guys began filming. Taking Ash’s advice, I made sure to stay out of Jensen’s way and even his line of sight. Not that it mattered because he was permanently in a foul mood for the day. Finally, around six o’clock Ash sent me to see Susan saying she could handle the rest of the evening filming.

Making my way to the offices, I had not seen Jensen for a while and as I made my way to Susan’s office I could hear his velvet voice coming from Jim Michaels’ office.

“She has to go.” He hissed, my heart dropping to my stomach.

There was a long sigh, “She comes highly recommended and honestly she is over qualified to even be a PA. She’s smart, talented and in need of getting her foot in the door. You better than anyone know that starts from the lower level. Did she do something or see something?”

Jensen let out a dark chuckle, “She hasn’t seen anything. She seems naive.”

“Then what’s the problem Jensen?”

There was a long pause before he answered, “She exists, that's the problem.”

I had heard enough and walked towards Susan’s door knocking before entering her office. She was packing up for the day when she looked up smiling at me, “How’d it go?”

I put on my best smile, “Jared and Ash are great. Even Misha behaved himself.”

“Jensen?” She inquired looking as if she were trying to see under my mask.

I squared my shoulders back determined to make this work, “Fine. I know my place and will keep my distance. He’s not who I have to worry about, so all that matters is how I keep Jared on time and in line.”

Susan seemed impressed by my answer then pulled out a manila envelope from her briefcase, “Legal didn’t have this drawn up at the time of your hiring. You will need to read this over and sign it by tomorrow morning.”

I took it from her, “Of course. I will have it for you first thing in the morning. Have a good night.”

Walking out of her office, I made sure Jensen was nowhere in sight. Feeling confident he was gone, I made my way towards my car. Looking down towards the ground as I walked past the row of trailers, I did not notice the black SUV behind me. The honk startled me as I tripped over my own feet landing firmly on my ass.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Just needed you to move over a little.” I recognized the driver as Jared and Jensen’s bodyguard/driver, Clif.

The back window slid down as I stood up and Jensen’s dark eyes pierced through me. As they began to pull away I swore I heard a low hiss coming from him. I hurried to my car and drove off the lot as fast as I could. It was not until I was on the highway that my fired nerves finally started to calm down. I knew there was nothing special about me but having my favorite actor despise me sapped all hope out of my heart.

Once I was parked in my spot at my apartment building, I was standing at the elevator when the doors slid open revealing once again the gorgeous man who seemingly hated me.

“Are you following me?” He asked, walking directly at me glaring.

I stepped back, “No I-I’m not. The studio is renting an apartment for me here. I h-had no idea you lived here until Ash mentioned it this morning.”

He ran his hand over his sandy, brown hair, “Why did you take this job?”

His question took me by surprise for a moment, deciding honesty was the best policy, “I wanted to be a part of my favorite show and I wanted to learn more about the business. No better way than to start at ground level and work my way up.”

“Favorite show, huh? So, you like monsters?” He chuckled as if he had told himself a joke.

“The monsters are cool, I guess. I’m more invested in the story of the brothers. Plus there’s no romance in Supernatural which is nice.” I watched as his shoulders relaxed briefly.

His eyes glanced around then came back to me, “You don’t like a love story?”

“No. I’ve had my heart broken too many times. I’d rather escape into a world of monsters than deal with matters of the heart.” My own heart betraying me as it thumped against my ribs.

Standing in front of him now, Jensen was truly striking. His sharp facial features, fair skin, plump red lips and muscular body had my own body aching in ways it had not in years. He was beautiful.

“I should go.” He abruptly left walking off towards the street.

As soon as he was out of sight, I sucked in a deep breath willing my body to move towards the elevator. That night my dreams were filled with dark alleyways and forest green eyes.

Over the next several weeks, I fell into a regular routine on set with Jared and Ash. I kept to my word that I avoided Jensen at any cost, but had noticed he was continually coming around me more. At first, I thought it was just because of Jared, but then I noticed he was coming around when he was not needed on set.

My inner fangirl was urging and encouraging me to talk to him. Then my first time meeting Jensen flashed through my mind and kept me far away from him. The last day of filming for the week was a night shoot. Ash and I were constantly running to get coffee for ourselves and the crew to stay warm. Jared every once in a while would pull us both into a bear hug allowing his body heat to warm us up. We were in the middle of a forest as Jared and Misha were filming a scene and I was trying everything in my power not to chatter my teeth.

“You’re going to freeze to death.” His smooth voice brought heat to my cheeks.

I pulled my coat around me tighter, “I-I’ll be al-alright.”

His perfect lips pursed together before he slid his jacket off his shoulders, “Here take this,” He stepped just close enough to drape his large jacket over my shoulders.

“T-Thank you.” I slipped my arms inside surprised that it was slightly chilled still.

We stood there in silence watching as Jared purposely messed with Misha’s takes, “Children.” Jensen muttered as I chuckled.

In a rare moment I witnessed him smile brief and my inner fangirl sighed gracefully falling onto a lounge chair, “You have a great smile. It’s nice to see it.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “Yes well, I’ve recently come to the realization that instead of trying to fight fate I should just embrace her cruel destiny.”

I raised an eyebrow at him confused, but decided it was better I remain silent. What did he mean by fighting fate? What destiny? My heart began to race as hope filled my chest. There was something about the way he had been acting and what he said that gave me hope he was talking about me. The director wrapped for the night and we made the trip back to the studio.

Just as my luck has always been, when I got to my car it would not start. I was one of the last people to leave the studio in the early hours of the morning. Trying to decide if it was worth calling a cab or just sleeping in my car. I was leaning towards the latter of the two.

“Everything okay?”

I yelped turning quickly to see Jensen stopped in his car, “Jesus, you scared me.”

He chuckled before shutting his car off and coming towards mine. He lifted the hood and began checking through everything, “Looks like it could be your starter or alternator. We can have one of the mechanics look at it Monday morning.”

I sighed heavily, “Great… just great.”

“Come on, I can give you a ride back to our building.” His genuine smile dazzled me for a moment as he closed up my car and went to open the door to his car for me, “(Y/N)?”

“Um, yeah that would be great. Thank you.” I got into his car shivering from how cold it was inside.

Jensen turned on the heat and took off down the main street towards the highway. His large hands gripped the steering wheel tightly but the rest of his body seemed relaxed. A wave of fear crashed into a wave of excitement of being in close proximity to him. My inner fangirl and mine’s curiosity was getting the better of us from earlier.

“What did you mean by embracing fate’s cruel destiny?” I thought maybe he had not heard me as a silent tension filled the air between us.

“Did you sign the NDA they drew up for you?” Answering a question with a question was a pet peeve of mine but I let it slide.

I turned slightly in my seat, “Yes, though I don’t understand why I needed to sign one. It was clearly stated in my new hire paperwork not to speak of any upcoming episodes or scripts.”

Again, his soft laughter had an edge to it, “The NDA has nothing to do with the show or network. It is something our managers and agents have in place to protect us.”

“You mean protect you and Jared? Why would you two need protecting?” Suddenly images of Jensen starring in his very own version of Fifty Shades of Grey filled my mind and my cheeks burned.

We were approaching our exit and I knew my time would be up with him, but I did not want to leave. He remained silent until he parked in his space within our garage. He turned towards me, his eyes downcast and shoulders slumped forward. If I had not known any better, I would have thought he was upset or in pain.

“Jensen, anything you or Jared would tell me or I would see would strictly be between us. I don’t need a NDA to keep private matters private. I have more respect for both of you that I would never want anyone running your names through the mud of public opinion.”

I reached out my fingers briefly brushing against the back of his smooth skin. A small gasp escaped my lips from how cold he was even with his heater on. He pulled his hand away from me quickly getting out of his car. I followed him towards the main street where he finally stopped.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” He held up his hand to silence me.

Turning back towards me, his eyes were dark once again but not threatening unlike when we first met. No, there was something else. Something I did not recognize, but it made my heart race with anticipation.

“Tomorrow, I promise to explain everything. I will come by to get you around ten o’clock.” Jensen hesitantly brushed the back of his fingers against my cheek and instinctively I gravitated towards his embrace.

He quickly took off down the sidewalk leaving me with a million questions and yearning I had never felt before. In a daze I made up to my apartment and into my bed. Sleep did not come easy and when it did my dreams were vivid, sensual.

True to his word, there was a knock on my door at ten o’clock on the dot. I opened my door inviting him in as I finished getting ready.

“I’m sorry about my place being a mess.” I mumbled going back into my room to grab my coat.

I heard me laugh, “Quite alright, I mean Jared’s place is a pigsty.”

When I walked back out, I watched as his bright olive eyes traveled the length of my body. I nervously fidget with the strings on my coat as a slow smirk spread across his face. Jensen was dressed in a simple black hoodie, dark denim pants and black boots. A pair of dark Ray Bans hanging from the collar of his hoodie. Even dressed down he looked like a runway model.

We walked to the elevator, an empty car arriving, and as we stepped in the tension between us was nearly unbearable. I shifted from one foot to the next avoiding his intense gaze. With lightning speed, Jensen had me caged against the wall and his lips pressed against my throat.

“Jen-Jensen…” I sighed breathlessly as he dragged his nose up my neck to under my ear.

“Dammit, I promised myself I would not lose control around you, but…” he paused taking a deep breath in making my legs tremble, “you smell divine.”

As quickly as the moment had happened it was over as the elevator doors opened. Jensen was on the other side of the car looking unphased by what had happened. Whereas I was trying to remember how to breath and walk at the same time. His low chuckle and smug smirk made me smack his rock hard bicep.

“Ow.” I muttered making him laugh even harder. The pain was worth it to hear his musical laughter.

Instead of going to the garage, Jensen led me towards the sidewalk. He slid his dark sunglasses over his beautiful eyes and pulled his hood up over his head. I figured this was so no one would recognize him from the show. We walked side by side towards a nearby park. Our hands would brush against one another until finally he took mine in his pulling me closer to him. Leading me to a spot just off the Vancouver Harbor.

The sun was shining bright warming my skin then a cold breeze from the water would make me shiver. We sat at a clear spot sitting silently next to one another staring out over the water. Jensen gently pulled me into his side and draped his arm around my shoulder.

“Well, this is much better than when I first met you.” I whispered leaning my head on his shoulder.

I felt him press his lips and nose against the top of my head inhaling deeply, “Yes, well when we first met I wasn’t expecting you to be so… appealing.”

I sat up looking at him, “What does that mean? I feel like you are talking around me and I don’t like that.”

He sighed, pulling his hood down further as the sun shined brightly over us, “It’s only because the truth would send you running far, far away.”

“I told you, anything you tell me is between us. You have my word and a signed NDA for a safety net.” My inner fangirl and I were desperate to know what secret he was holding back. She was practically jumping on the lounger within my mind.

“When Eric Kripke came up with the idea of Supernatural, he had no idea how close to being right he was.” He pulled his sunglasses down his piercing out looking over them.

I swallowed the small lump lodge in my throat, “So you’re saying that supernatural creatures are real or that hunters are real?”

He smiled, pushing his glasses back up, “I guess hunters could be real, but then humans would have to acknowledge the fact that monsters were real.”

“Monsters… like you?” Suddenly a lot of his behaviors were making sense even if my mind could not wrap around the fact that monsters were real.

He nodded, “Does that scare you?”

“No.” My answer came quick and firm. I was not afraid of him. I knew he would never harm me. Somewhere deep within my heart and soul, I knew I was right where I belonged.

“You should be. I’m a dangerous creature even more so than Jared.” He looked out towards the water, “Mainly because Jared is just a big dog. All cute and cuddly as Ash would say.”

“Jared is a… werewolf?” I could not quite believe the words coming from my mouth, but his nod answered my question, “Then you are…”

Jensen faced me baring his teeth as his fangs grew slightly longer than the rest. I sucked in a breath as he closed his mouth, “Now you’re afraid.”

“No. More mesmerized than anything. You’re… you’re a vampire.” The awe in my voice could not be helped. I spent most of my life reading grand tales of mythical creatures and humans falling in love with them. Now, I was in the middle of my own fairytale.

He scoffed, “Mesmerized? I’m an undead murderer and you're in awe of it.” He looked away in disgust.

“I’m in awe of you. You’re obviously drawn to my scent and yet here you sit next to me. You could have ended me at any time these last few weeks but you haven’t. Hell, in the elevator that could have been it, but all you did was… kiss my neck. I’m in awe of your strength and will power.”

Jensen's expression softened and he pulled me back into his side, “It’s difficult being around you. When I first met you, I had never wanted a human so much in my life. First it was my primal need, but now…”

“Now what?” My heart skipped a beat as hope filled my chest.

“Now, I have this overwhelming need to protect you and be by your side always.” His jaw clenched as he spoke the words.

I reached up brushing my hand against his cheek, “Why is that so hard for you to say?”

He leaned into my touch, “Loving me is a death sentence. The thought of losing you is insufferable.”

Jensen’s forehead pressed against mine as I whispered, “We found each other. That’s all that matters.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?” He chuckled, easily lifting me onto his lap and wrapping his arms around me.

“I’ve been called worse. Tell me more about your life.”

For the next several hours, Jensen told me all about his life from his rebirth in 1920 to how he and Jared became best friends. I hung on every word of every story he told and it was not until my stomach began to growl from hunger that he finally stopped.

“You should eat.” He easily picked me up as he stood and set my feet on the ground.

I looked away from him, the anxiety building in my chest knowing we would have to part ways soon. He laced his fingers through mine and led me back towards the main sidewalk. When we arrived at our building, I was having a difficult time keeping the tears that threatened to fall back. Once again, as we stepped into the elevator, the air tightened around us.

“What is it about elevators?” he muttered making me laugh as the very thought had gone through my head.

When we went past my floor, I looked over and saw a smile on his face. We stopped at the very top floor both sighing as we exited the elevator. He pulled out his keys and opened the door for apartment 1520.

“I thought it was only fair if you saw my place as well.” Jensen held the door open for me as I walked in.

The layout was open and bright with one wall being all windows. His furniture was dark gray with steel blue and navy accent pillows. He had a big flat screen TV with a few game consoles. What caught her by surprise was the wall of records and record player he had. I turned back around to see him anxiously watching me.

“Not what I expected from a vampire.” I walked towards his flawless kitchen and looked untouched which I guess was to be expected.

“Were you expecting a coffin and velvet?” His smile was infectious as I nodded.

Taking off my coat, I sat down on his couch as he walked off towards his bedroom. Jensen came back in with his tablet and a blanket. He placed the blanket over my and sat next to me.

“Order whatever you would like for dinner. Don’t worry about paying for it because I insist.” He chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

Deciding to order from my favorite pizza place I handed him the tablet to put his payment information in, “What do you eat?”

“Finally! The question I have been waiting for all day.” He exclaimed, “Are you sure you want to know?”

I nodded, “If I’m diving head first into oblivion then I want to know everything.”

“Brave woman. I still drink blood, but that which is donated. There are certain organizations within the acting community that are set up for actors such as myself. We go to grab our supply of ‘food’ and then we store it in our homes.” He pointed back towards the refrigerator, “All of it is from blood drives once the hospital receives its share then we buy the remainder.”

It was better than him stealing blood like Benny in Supernatural or drinking animal blood like Edward in Twilight, “Oh okay then. At least I won’t be surprised if I open the fridge now.”

There was a sad undertone in his laugh, but I chose to ignore it, “What about Jared and Ash?”

“Ash is human, but she seemingly blossomed at the end of last season. Jared was immediately drawn to her and they spent most of the summer at his cabin near Red Rock Point, Montana.” Jensen bit his lip smirking.

“Why?” I knew there was more to what he was saying but he seemed almost embarrassed to speak of it.

He sighed pulling me closer to him, “If you had asked me that question a month ago I would have given you a snarky answer about not being able to control his inner animal, but now… now I know better.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder, “Meaning…”

“Every few months, Jared would go into what he calls a rut. His need to procreate becomes overwhelming and he has to be off on his own as a wolf to deal with it. Now, he found his mate and one weekend a month they will go off to his cabin to… you know…”

My inner fangirl was begging on her knees for Jensen to say the words out loud but I just nodded, “I get it. Why is it now that you know better than before?”

I looked up into his shining eyes captivated as he leaned closer to me, “Because now I know exactly how Jared felt when he found Ash.”

His perfect full lips were inching closer to mine. My tongue darted out over them just before his were going to touch them then his door intercom buzzed. A small growl escaped his lips as he quickly got up buzzing the delivery man in. I found myself trying to take deep breaths to collect myself as my inner fangirl was hyperventilating.

“Dinner is served.” He said placing the box down on the table.

“I’m not hungry right now.” I said as he sat back down next to me.

He laughed, “Eat before the alien in your stomach pops out and eats the pizza for you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him before lifting the box open and grabbing a slice. Settling back into his side, he turned on his Netflix account. His fingertips trailing down my arm as I took a bite.

As I was taking a second bite he leaned in whispering into my ear, “There will be plenty of time to test my will power later.”

I shivered, truly no longer hungry for food. I placed the piece of pizza back in the back turning towards him, “What would happen if I took initiative and kissed you?”

He turned into a stone statue as he stared at me, “That would be a very dangerous thing to do.” He spoke slowly with a hint of challenge in his tone.

My inner fangirl was cheering me on as I pushed the blanket onto the floor and swung my leg over his lap sitting on his thighs. His ice cold hands gripped my hips as I leaned down my lips hovering his. There was a brief moment where time stood still then it was as if a rubber band snapped. His lips crashed against me and his arms wrapped around my waist holding me against him. He groaned as if in pain and I pulled away from him.

“Since I’m breaking all my rules and going to hell…” He whispered and in a flash we were both tumbling onto his bed.

That night was the best one of my life. Jensen may be a primal killer but with me he was nothing short of a gentle lover. I knew from that moment, I would do anything to remain at his side forever. Just like every cliche movie or book trope where the meek, naive woman falls in love with a monster that has a heart gold. I found myself in their exact shoes desiring an everlasting love affair with a vampire.

On Monday, when Jensen and I arrived at the studio, Jared and Ash were waiting by his trailer. No words were spoken between them but by the smiles on their faces I could tell they knew what was going on between Jensen and I.

“You owe me twenty bucks Padalecki.” I heard Ash as Jared grumbled.

Jensen and I laughed as we walked to the studio building to meet with the executive producers and legal team concerning our newly starting relationship together.  

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EDIT: jdkdjfkdkd I DIDNT WRITE A TITLE & also cuz someone requested i will deliver: a pt 2 will follow!

just a short snippet of writing i felt like doing, based off the song “Butterfly’s Repose” by Zabawa :) i edited as i went along so it might be a bit messy, i’m sorry >>>

Dr. Spencer Reid x shy!reader

length: 11.2K

warnings: a LOTTA angst, small fluff, emotional abuse, death

—————————————————

Dr. Reid is one of many things, as y/n has noticed, but she’d never say that he was overtly emotional. From the time that she started working for the BAU until now, which has been about five years, she’s come to know this enigmatic man. 

Not only has she gotten to know him though, but she’s begun to care about him. Sure, she cares deeply about the well-being of the team; which of its members wouldn’t? But this strong surge of emotions came early on and have since remained. 

She can vividly recall the first case she’d worked on with her new coworkers, back when she was fresh to the BAU. The unsub’s signature had been riddles that apparently would reveal the location or subject of his next attacks. They’d spent night after night poring over those puzzles, and she can practically taste the bitter, old coffee that the station had offered them. But more fondly she can recall Dr. Reid’s furrowed brows, the way he’d sat for hours in front of papers, trying to write down new ideas that came to mind. Y/n can remember the way his eyes lit up when he finally pieced it all together, the quickness of his words and the way she struggled to understand. 

Morgan had tried to jokingly explain Dr. Reid’s genius prior to her first case, but it wasn’t until she saw it in action that she truly understood. And, to be honest, she was intimidated.

Sure, she’d done well in her classes throughout her school career, but she’d fought so hard to reach her dream job. The endless late nights of studying and bitter tasting coffee had pushed her through all the required class credits she’d needed; y/n had never stopped working, never wanting to possibly even entertain the idea that she couldn’t make it. And to finally be able to say she’d succeeded, and then to walk through the doors of the FBI and BAU after a few years of working in the field; it was a dream come true!

And yet...she couldn’t ever quite understand how the genius was just so smart without even seeming to try. He could read full books in ten minutes, recite statistics he’d only read about once, and was able to piece together puzzles that saved countless lives. She wasn’t jealous, per-say, but she yearned to know how he did it and who he was. 

And so, the quiet and reserved y/f/n watched. She wasn’t a woman of many words, and yet she’d still been able to contribute to a variety of cases. Hotch knew that despite her lack of words she was still a valuable asset, and that’s really all that mattered to her. 

But that’s besides the point. 

Around the year mark of her joining the BAU, something happened. Dr. Reid and her had been assigned by Hotch to interview the supposed unsub’s father one last time; they’d arrived thinking it’d be another simple interview, but the father ended up pulling a gun on them both and managed to shoot him in the leg. Something about “protecting his son” she believes, but one way or another it didn’t matter. 

Dr. Reid had been bleeding so heavily that y/n had thought his femoral artery had been pierced. She’d shot down the father and then fallen beside her partner, doing her best to apply pressure to the oozing wound. Those few minutes they spent together had been filled with talking, something which she hadn’t been very good at. Who is she kidding, she STILL isn’t good at it!

But anyways, getting back to the point--

To keep Dr. Reid alert, y/n had made small conversation with him. She’d asked about his favorite books, and then his favorite lines from those books. She questioned his music taste and took mental notes on all of it. So was it a surprise to him when he’d woken up to her asleep next to his hospital bed, one of his favorite books laying haphazardly in her lap?

She isn’t sure. 

After that, their friendship blossomed. Dr. Reid would talk about his favorite books, music, or movies and y/n would listen. They’d often meet up for coffee and walk to work together, and they often were paired up during cases because of their efficiency together. Y/n favored the quieter, library-like settings of a cafe and Dr. Reid would follow suit; bars were never exactly his thing anyways. They shared coffee and tea recommendations, they’d converse about classical literature, and sometimes he would accidentally spoil books for her because of how fast he read. 

(She’d never forgive him for spoiling the ending of “A Farewell to Arms.”)

The friendship between the two of them was strong, and it grew to a point where y/n might’ve even considered him to be her best friend. 

In her third year at the BAU, though, y/n had started dating a guy outside of work. At first it started okay; they’d go on romantic dates to fancy Italian restaurants, the ones where Frank Sinatra played in the background of a dimly lit, large room. He’d brought her her favorite flowers, and he even tried to drink the tea she liked. And Dr. Reid had put up with it all, only crossly wondering to himself WHY he felt so agitated whenever y/n would bring her new beau to their bar nights. Why wouldn’t he be happy for her? Y/n was his best friend after all, and she deserved to have a man who loved her. 

Around the third month of their relationship though, he began to notice how much more exhausted y/n had become. She often was late or didn’t show up to get coffee with him in the mornings, and she was unusually silent towards everyone when working cases. Whenever she had to take phone calls she’d step outside, and Dr. Reid had to simply pretend like he didn’t see her strained expressions when she entered the room again. This continued on for a good two months before he finally stepped up and asked y/n what was going on. 

It was their first fight.

He’d simply asked if she’d been doing okay, and y/n snapped. The dark bags under her eyes and the frazzled appearance she had screamed that no, contrary to whatever she was saying she wasn’t alright. There wasn’t anything he could do though, not when she raised her voice at him for asking about her well-being. So he dropped it.

He hadn’t expected her to reach back out so soon again though, especially not the exact same night of their squabble. Dr. Reid had been flipping through the pages of an old book he was rereading when his phone began to ring. Surprised at the thought that anyone would want to talk to him at this hour, he’d picked up his phone only to hear her sniffling on the line. She’d quietly apologized many times over, but no matter what he said he couldn’t get her to tell him why she’d called. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar voice yelling in the background and a yelp of fear that he understood. 

Promising to be over soon, Dr. Reid threw his heavy jacket over his shoulders and headed out into the cold and rainy night. The whole way there he’d been touching his phone, wondering if he should’ve call again. What if something happened while he was making his way there? Should he have called the police before leaving? At least he would’ve known then that she would’ve been okay. As he pulled up to the front of y/n’s apartment complex, he spots y/n shivering miserably on the front steps.

It’s less than twenty minutes before she’s back in his warm apartment, in a dry, borrowed pair of pajama pants and one of his old t-shirts. He hadn’t asked her specifically what had happened, not wanting to dredge up any of their earlier fight, but she’d still managed to find herself talking. Dr. Reid had only just given y/n a steaming cup of tea when she’d broken down, salty tears running down her red cheeks and staining the borrowed shirt. He’d settled beside her on his couch, highly aware of the warmth emanating from her body and the way her tearful gaze avoided his. With some gentle coaxing he managed to get an explanation out of y/n. 

Her boyfriend had been cheating for upwards of two months, but she hadn’t been able to leave because of his threats. They’d always changed from one night to the next, but most of them held the same message: if you leave me, I’ll kill myself or hurt you. 

Now Dr. Reid had never considered himself to be an angry person; competition was something he avoided for the most part, and he was incredibly slow to anger. This, though, this made his blood boil. 

And so the young man had gathered y/n in his arms, comforting his best friend as he remained fully aware of how close they physically were. He told himself that this is what friends did, and her? Well, she was too far gone in her own mind to possibly even consider what could’ve been passing between them. 

Now, though, she’s fully aware of how close he is to her. Much like on that night, when Dr. Reid, no -- Spencer -- held her, she’d felt safe. Wrapped in the doctor’s arms she’d known nothing could’ve reached her, not if he didn’t want it to. 

Pressed up against his chest, y/n can feel the past two years of uncertain flirting and the dancing around each other dissipate. The months of awkward glances and longing stares has finally reached a head, finally manifested into real touches and love-filled gazes. 

She only wished it had happened sooner. 

She wished it had happened long before this case, long before they’d flown out here to take on the serial shooter that’d been terrorizing this city. Because now, with her blood pouring out of her chest and abdomen, she knows she has no time left. There’s no more time for first kisses or late night talks, no more shared coffee breaks or reading to each other while curled up together under a blanket. 

Spencer, her best friend who’d she’d loved for so long, has no time either. 

He’s holding onto his best friend’s body, pressing her to his chest with tears welling in his eyes. Sirens sound in the distance, possibly growing closer, but they’re too muted for him to be able to tell. He’d heard the shots and had come running, but it’d been too late. Y/n had been shot four times, three times in the chest and once in the abdomen. She’d toppled over, shock written all over her face as her gun had clattered to the ground beside her.

And now, she can barely remember any of it. She can still feel the ringing in her ears, but now she’s beginning to realize how hard it is to breath. She can taste the metallic tang of blood, and as she coughs and splutters she can feel it running over her lips. It’s warm, too warm. 

Fear begins to overpower her, and she finds herself uncontrollably shaking. “S-Spencer, I d-don’t wanna die,” she rasps, her y/e/c, tear-filled eyes turning to look up into his chocolate brown ones. 

He has to swallow back his own tears, fighting to hold on as he looks down at the person he’s cared about for so long. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he shakes his head. “Honey, hold on for me, okay?” he asks gently, his voice cracking. 

“I promise I won’t leave you,” he murmurs, tears beginning to slide down his cheeks. Y/n whimpers as she begins to feel a tingling numbness move up her legs. “Spencer, I-I...I love y-you,” she whispers, her hand shakily reaching up for his face.

 Leaning down into the body in his lap, Spencer Reid presses his forehead against his best friend’s. 

Softly pressing his chapped lips to her bloodstained ones, he gently pulls away and rasps, “I know.” 

As y/n’s eyes begin to flutter closed, she grasps onto her best friend’s hand for dear life and lets out one last, heart-wrenching sob. 

Finnpoe Modern AU- Single Dad!Poe- PART 2

Lmao so Part 2 was supposed to be focused on Finn and Poe’s relationship but that didn’t happen as planned so. yknow. Now there’s a Part 3 on the way where more things actually happen, Finnpoe-wise, and that should explain more about their relationship. It is also very possible that a Part 4 may happen, but all of this is for after finals end next week ANYWAY

Thank you again to Eliane, who had the original idea for this headcanon!

Part One l Part Two l Part Three

XXX

BB makes it through preschool and starts kindergarten the next year

He's nearly a year older than his classmates, but Poe is still terrified on the first day of school

He's less scared than the first first day, and now BB is comfortable enough to stick his tongue out at his dad when he catches Poe wiping tears out of the corner of his eye

But BB still allows a hug, long and tight, when it's time to say goodbye

He signs goodbye! with ease, and pride and bittersweet sorrow swell in Poe's chest

BB has a group of friends by the end of the week

BB has a lot to say, Poe hears from their parents, and Poe chuckles to himself at that

By now, Poe feels more secure in being a single parent, but he remembers Shara's fire and how that was balanced so readily but Kes's calm demeanor

It seems that BB is inheriting all of Poe's sass and spirit, totally untempered

(He doesn't mind in the slightest, though he fears the day BB realizes he can out-sarcasm his father)

Sometimes, BB complains that his Deaf friends can sign better than him, and Poe feels a pang of guilt. They've been learning together, and after a year, they've come a long way, but there are still hurdles

On top of his other classes, BB spends his afternoons in the special education classroom

They find a sense of community there; children and parents who have had similar experiences

It's easier then, better than the year before. The father and son have settled in somewhat, even though Poe dreads the end of the year- BB will switch buildings and teachers and everything will be new again

Despite the impending change, BB thrives. He can write a few shaky words and he's nearly entirely fluent in ASL by the time kindergarten ends

The summer flies by: BB is six already, losing teeth, joining the soccer team

He plays #8 on the team. He's fiercely into it, which isn't entirely helped by Poe screaming his support on the sidelines

Jess, Karé, and Snap all yell too; Kes is the only one who shows his enthusiasm at normal volumes, although Poe can never quite forget the game when BB got fouled and Kes sulked about it the entire night

They meet BB's new teachers in August, a couple of weeks before the start of school

Poe's prepared for this now. He knows what to advocate for, how to navigate the reactions to BB and the calm, placating smiles from people who look lost when they first meet his son

BB's teachers are kind, at the very least. Poe had been a public school kid, but with some financial help from Kes, he'd managed to get BB into a slightly more controlled environment- it's a private school, still a relatively big one, but Poe chose it for its positive reputation and special needs programs

His boss, Leia, had endorsed the decision- her twin brother worked in the district, and if nothing else, Poe trusts Leia’s judgment

But most of all, BB was happy there in both preschool and kindergarten, and that’s all that truly matters

They end up at the special education classroom last on the tour of the new building- Poe nods at a few familiar faces before an older-looking man introduces himself as Luke. He shakes Poe's hand firmly and signs hello back at BB, who's staring up at him, unabashed

I'm Luke, he signs, and doesn't even raise an eyebrow when BB tells him to call me BB

“I work with your sister, I think- Leia Organa,” Poe says because Luke seems all-too-familiar, and Luke nods quickly

“My little sister, yes. She’s mentioned you. She says she reminds you of her husband when he was younger.” Luke raises an eyebrow. “You’re not a troublemaker, are you?”

“No,” Poe says automatically, at the same time BB signs yes!

You’re a troublemaker, too, Poe reminds the boy, ruffling BB’s hair. His son snorts, shaking his head, and peers around Luke to see the rest of the room

“Leia likes troublemakers. She’s the best one of all,” Luke says matter-of-factly, then grins. "But- you'll want to meet the rest of our staff," Luke says, signing as he speaks and peering around the room

"There's Mr. C, and there's Finn. He's new this year, too"

Poe's stomach twists at the words- he's all for giving the benefit of the doubt, but he'd hoped for someone with a little more experience

That's his first impression of Finn- the second is that Finn is-

-well, Finn is hot. Nicely fitting jeans and a gratuitous v-neck, accompanied by a winning smile that flashes before the two men's eyes meet

Finn's eyes are warm and brown and it melts Poe on the spot

BB has already abandoned him, tearing across the room and offering his hand to Finn. Poe blinks, trying to get his thoughts in order, and introduces himself to Finn

The young man is right out of grad school (he came highly recommended, and they had to fight to get him, Luke chimes in, while Finn studies his feet), but he's always wanted to teach, even if he had a brief military stint that ended poorly

My abuela was Air Force, BB supplies

She must have been talented, Finn answers. I think I'd get scared all the way up there

I wouldn't! BB replies at lightning speed, and oh no, Finn's laugh is just as delightful as every other aspect of him

They talk for a few minutes more before Finn is stolen away by other parents and Poe decides to talk to other teachers

(I’ll be seeing you, Finn,” Poe says, and Finn just smiles back, but Poe can’t help but sneak glances at the other man, even with distance now between them

Finn catches him just once, and grins at Poe widely)

Poe doesn’t see BB’s teachers too often- there are stories from his son, occasional phone calls, and parent-teacher conferences, but he runs into Finn fairly often outside of BB-related happenings

The younger man has an apartment within a mile of Poe’s, and Luke and Leia seem somewhat determined to drag their protégés out once in a while

Dinners on a few occasions is one thing, but Poe also discovers that he and Finn frequent the same bars

(Frequent, Poe thinks, is a liberal term for a teacher and a single dad, but he does to find a free night once in a blue moon)

(It makes sense, Poe also realizes, that he would run into a man who wears sensible v-necks at the only gay bar in town)

Poe is nursing a whisky, scanning the room for anyone as tired and old as he is, when he spots Finn half hiding in a booth near the back of the room, a young brunette woman slumped next to him

They look slightly out of place, and Poe is debating if he should go say hi or not when the woman looks up at him, her gaze piercing. Poe looks away, the tips of his ears burning, but he can see her whispering to Finn out of the corner of his eye

Poe is staring determinedly at the melting ice in his drink when he hears slight scuffling behind him, then a voice says “Hi Poe, good to see you.”

Finn’s tone is somewhere between the one he uses on conference night and a clearly forced effort to sound casual, so Poe musters his best smile

“Hey Finn,” he says, friendly, then his mind goes blank

“I didn’t realize I would see you here,” Finn blurts, and his eyes go wide. His companion gives a huffy sigh before nudging Finn’s side with her elbow and retreating back to their booth

“I didn’t know you were- that you go to-” Poe is just as flustered, and neither he nor Finn can meet the other’s eyes. “-that you go to gay bars,” he finishes lamely

“I do,” Finn says, voice soft as he stares at the ground. “Well, not too often but Rey-” he jerks his head back to indicate the woman conspicuously watching them from her seat- “has been stressed lately and I wanted her to have a good night.”

Poe takes a sip of his drink. “She your girlfriend?”

There’s no hope of any sort of recovery now- Poe is vaguely tipsy, a lightweight after his son changed all his evening plans for the past two years, and Finn seems beyond flustered, but this conversation started badly, anyways

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Finn says firmly. “We’re gay- I mean she’s gay- well, I’m bi, but she’s gay- a lesbian. We only kissed once and it was real bad. We’re both single and not dating each other.”

“Good to know.” Poe says mildly, at risk of embarrassing Finn even more. Then:

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Survey #389

“i’m well aware i’m a danger to myself  /  are you aware i’m a danger to others?”

How much do you weigh? Yeah, we're starting off on a bad foot. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Putting Roman's used litter in the trash. Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? Hm... I guess you could love them, but it'd be a complicated situation. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? If it's purely for sport, from the very bottom of my heart, fuck you. Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? I'd say it's decently fast. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. My grandma lived there. Are you sensitive to caffeine? No. It does like... nothing to me. How do you usually get around? My mom's car. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No actually, but I know I kinda am. What do you think about Kim Kardashian? I don't have an opinion of her. Can you speak any French? No. Favorite yogurt flavor? The only yogurt I've been liking lately is cookies and cream to add a different texture, because otherwise, I don't like its natural texture very much??? Idk man, my taste buds are wild. How much money do you have in your wallet right now? Just like $5. What bottled water brand do you like? Essentia. Your favorite way to eat chocolate? As chocolate bars, probably. How often do you listen to country music? Like, never. Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? Linkin Park. Last surgery you had? Pilonidal cyst removal. Have you ever played guitar? I briefly took classes for it in high school, yes. Best I got to was playing some of the intro to "Crazy Train." I enjoyed it, but not enough to be consistent and really learn. Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? I don't think so? What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? Independence and confidence would be nice... Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? No. Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? God no. I love my online friends. Half of 'em more than "irl" ones. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? I have to be VERY invested in it to care THAT much. It happened most recently when Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiered. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? Early in the morning. I'm in a better mood in the morning. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have a calorie-counting app, as well as one to track my period. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? My mom's, best friend's, and psychiatrist's. If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? I don't really know. Maybe the very first Pride event? Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it? Ride a rollercoaster, for one. I know I never will, though. I'm too afraid of throwing up, but even more realistically, I fear passing out before of the twisting and turning and just standing up makes me very dizzy. My blood pressure is STUPID low. What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? Have kids. That's a big 'ole fat no from me. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? Twice at least. Are you well-known by people in your area? No. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank Christ. It sounds terrifying. What's your favourite type of bird? Barn owls. Melanistic ones, to be exact. Stunning. What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? I'm only keeping up with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Have you ever dated a smoker? For less than a day. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Besides the school band. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No. Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Multiple times. Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? I think once with my brother. Why did you last need to use a band-aid? I'unno. What fruit do you eat most often? Apples. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My ma. Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? A few times. I don't feel like thinking over this. Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? I've tried almond milk, and I hated it. If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? uhhhhhh idk When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? I'm essentially always in my room. If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. Do you find piercings attractive? Yep. Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em. What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? Nothing beyond checking Jason's Facebook sometimes after the breakup, I think. Even that though I wouldn't recommend doing. You're just going to get yourself hurt. Stay away from exes' profiles. Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? Yep. I don't give a fuck what's in your pants, you don't hit anybody unless you're fighting to defend yourself. What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? I mean... define "old." I'll go with The Lion King for old, and for new, uh... Finding Dory, probs. Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. I don't really know what IS trendy right now... Is Snapchat still "in?" Because I've never gotten that. “Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? I think I'm kinda neutral about it? Like I mean it also depends on exactly what is said. I prefer more loving talk, though. What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? I'm a basic fatass that likes American cuisine most, aha... Like give me a cheeseburger and I'm happy lmao. How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? I love it more now at a short length than I ever did long. When it was long and I was in my deepest depression, I was awful about brushing it. It would get so knotted. Like looking back, it nearly makes me shiver. I HIGHLY recommend cutting your hair for anyone who struggles with selfcare. How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? I'm single, but hypothetically, if you're checking an ex's page nearly every day, I would not be okay with that. I'm totally fine with exes remaining friends and just cordially talking now and again, but that's it. It's a respect thing. Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? I personally like cologne if it's not overwhelming. I really don't care if you wear it or not, though. Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? This survey is so heteronormative. But anyway, unless there was an issue like it not fitting, I'd want my spouse to wear their ring. What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? There are a lot of reasons I don't want kids. I'm too selfish with my "me" time, I stress out too easily, I don't want to dedicate my life to keeping another person alive and fed and happy, I have bad genes... I could go on and on. I just wouldn't be a good, "present" enough mom. I am much more interested in ensuring *I* am okay. Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? Not at all. I mean I want a smooth and memorable wedding, but I'm not obsessed with it being perfect. Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? That's certainly not cheating, but I wouldn't like it. Being secretive about anything in a relationship is unhealthy, imo. I'd be hurt and also very insecure because I wouldn't feel like "enough." How old is too old for trick-or-treating? Honestly? I don't think you ever are. Like come on, does it REALLY matter? Let people have fun. I don't do it because of societal standards, but I would if I didn't care about being judged. Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? It depends on the temperature, but I normally wake up with them under. Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? I have an Ozzy one stored somewhere, but it doesn't fit me now. There was another I really liked too, but that one is WAY too small now. Fries or onion rings? Fries. I'm not a fan of onion rings. True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. Story of my life. I had one last night where I kept dying in different ways, and I actually felt the pain, like drowning in magma. Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah. What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? My mom has absolutely forbidden me to get a tarantula (uh, many tarantulas in my case) until I move out, lol. That doesn't stop me from checking Craigslist like every day. ;_; Have your parents ever caught you drinking? "Caught," no. Any time I've drunk, I've had permission or was a legal adult by then. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? First be humiliated at my appearance and then absolutely pass out lmao. Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? No, thank fuck. The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? If I know it's something they wouldn't do sober, absolutely not. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Any would be lovely, but the poem would appeal most to me because of the amount of thought that goes into poetry. Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? What? I don't think so, no. Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? Halloween. What was the first website you had an email account on? Yahoo. Have you ever written a fanfic? No. Tattoos or piercings? Both are grand, but tats win. What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? I saw this picture of a snake split open that had eaten another snake. Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? Lil cozy one! I don't want more space than is needed for cleaning reasons, as well as price. Do you have a tutor for anything? No. Who’s the best kisser you know? Jason was. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? Ew, no. Do you have a deep voice? For a woman, yes. Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? Hi, I'm an adult. Is there a Sonic where you live? YES. It's my fave fast-food place. What do you like on your pizza? I have three go-tos depending on my mood: Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers.

this wip wednesday post is for @ride-the-bifrost specifically. because they asked for a sorikai body art au ages ago, and I’m finally working on it but it’s since went and morphed into a mash up of florist/tattoo parlor au meets urban fantasy. I mentioned it uhhh last week? I think?

but anyway - a snippet! I’m still building it up - duh, obviously, but here’s what I have rn.

Riku never paid much mind to the tattoo parlor across from his grandmother’s shop.

That isn’t to say he’s never seen it before, or anything – he still remembers the day it popped up a few years ago, across the street and two buildings over. Synthesize, with its striking midnight blue bricks and bright red door. A lot of people were skeptical of the business, doubtful that it would be there long – himself included - but despite all their doubts, it’s stuck around so far, highly recommended through word of mouth for the high quality of their work. If you wanted a tattoo or piercing as a magic focus, or for protection, or hell, just for a good night’s sleep – Synthesis would always provide.

It has been a while since the Destiny Islands had any kind of person around who’s spell work was primarily through body art; on the cities inland yeah, sure, there’s plenty – but that’s a two-day trip that many don’t feel like taking, at minimum. Here in their little beach town, folks like the ones at Synthesize were a rarity. It’s not like Riku knows the people that worked there, though; he’s rarely seen them, even after moving back home from the mainland – and that wasn’t planned, either. But life never turns out the way you want, even if you plan every possible turn on your path to the letter.

See, Riku was a witch – a witch like his mother and father, and their foremothers and fathers, on and on and on. He was a witch, and when he was seventeen, he had left home - like all good witches are supposed to do - and traveled inland to try and find a place to settle down and call his own. His plan had been to open his own shop to sell his own magical wares and make a name for himself – though what he wanted to sell, he wasn’t really sure. But he would figure it out on his own time. He had been well on his way to it, too – a few apprenticeships under his belt, a growing number of clients – he was doing it. It had been so close.

But then he got a call from his mother. And he had to come back home in August at twenty-two, to help around the house and care for his father, who had fallen ill. And eight months later he had to hold his mother’s hand as they stared out into the sea, draped in mourning white as his father’s ashes were swept away by the tide.

He hasn’t left home since. He hasn’t felt the urge to. Before, he had been so eager to leave home, so ready to just – grow up. But now, he’s not much of anything – not anymore.

Riku wasn’t resentful about staying in the Destiny Islands, not now; in the earlier years, when grief blinded everything, he was – he snapped and lashed out and quickly gave into the dark, bitter ugliness of his heart. But it was fine in the end; he had family to support him and pull him back when he got too into his head – and a grandmother that put him to work so he could get his head out of his ass, forcing him to try his hand at selling green things and potions – a tincture for better health, a bouquet with flowers placed just so to sharpen the mind or brighten a room, ethers to restore a person’s magic when exhausted. He wasn’t as good as his grandmother at first but now – he was decent enough. It was something that would keep him focused, keep him busy, and deal with the stormy turbulence in his heart in other ways.

And then his grandmother up and left the shop in his name a year and a half later when she finally decided to retire – a little apothecary all his own.

He didn’t think he could handle it by himself – a whole shop, belonging to him and him alone? It was too soon. He still felt so unbalanced – so young. He was only twenty-three. He hadn’t been sure. But his grandmother had put her foot down.

“You need this.” She insisted. “You need this, and it will be good for you. Besides – you think I’d let you run this place by yourself? No, no, I’ll be there to help when needed – but that doesn’t mean you get to slack off!”

Time passed, and he slowly settled. Slowly made the apothecary feel more like his, made a name for himself outside of his family. And then – Synthesize.

All he knows about the people that work there is that the artists are around his age, and the owner was a blue haired woman that he’d seen coming and going now and then. That, and the high compliments of their work, he supposed. But other than those things, he knows nothing about them – and he didn’t really mind all that much. Never really noticed, anyway, too caught up in his own work, his own life, filling in the ragged space his father left behind bit by bit. He didn’t really think his path would ever cross with his mysterious neighbors.

But that all changed one cold winter day – that day, he thinks, was the one that set him onto that long, winding path.

He didn’t really mind it that much, in the end.

-o-

It had been a pretty normal start to the day.

Riku arrives to his shop at eight in the morning, as he has done for the past three years, and then he makes his rounds around the shop to check on the plants that filled buckets to bursting and the state of the potions that lined the shelves, taking note on what needed to be restocked for the day. His grandmother wouldn’t be in until noon, and that was alright – the morning hours were slow, with customers few in number - which meant he could take his time.

After taking care of what needed to be restocked, Riku returned to the back rooms of the store to prepare himself for the day. He pulled his apron on and tied it snugly around his waist, adjusting the straps and making sure they weren’t twisted around his neck. He combed his fingers through his long, platinum hair, pulling his hair tie off his wrist and holding it between his teeth as he braided his hair back, ensuring it wouldn’t get in the way. His movements were slow, meditative, and with the added scent of flowers and dried herbs, Riku felt himself slipping into a calm space, muscles relaxing. As he tied the end off, the soft jingle of the bells over the door rang through the air, and Riku raised an eyebrow.

A customer? At this hour?

“Hello?” A man’s voice called out – bright, chipper, but still relatively deep. “Anyone there?”

“Be with you in a moment!” Riku called back, making a face at his reflection and the way his bangs hung in front of his eyes, futilely blowing the hair out the way. He quickly put it aside and left the back room behind, adjusting his apron one last time as he returned to the front area, wondering who could possibly be coming by this early.

A man around his age was waiting at the counter, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat as he looked around the shop. He had spiky brown hair, warm brown skin, and strikingly blue eyes, and when Riku stepped up behind the counter, the man gave him a quick once over before giving him a smile so bright it made him squint a little. It felt fine if he only admitted it to himself, but the man was…cute.  “Can I help you?”

“Yes! I was wondering if you had any celebration flowers?”

Riku tilted his head, surveying the buckets of flowers around the room. “Probably, yes.” He mused. “What’s the occasion?”

“Ah, my girlfriend – it’s her birthday today, and I wanted to give her some flowers before work.”

Ah. A girlfriend. Well, no big deal.

He shrugged off the slight sting of disappointment with a smile. “That’s nice of you. Do you know what flowers you wanted to give her?”

“Uhh…”

Sheepish, the man shrugged, his grin turning shy as he reached up to scratch at the back of his head. The sleeve of his coat slips down, just enough so that Riku could see a small paopu fruit tattooed on his wrist. “I didn’t – sorry! I just thought, um, that there would be bouquets that were pre-made?”

Riku breathed out a little laugh. “That’s not how it works here, no. It – alright then. Can you tell me about her?”

“Huh?”

“Your girlfriend.” Riku says, beginning to roll up the sleeves of his sweater. “Can you tell me about her? What’s she like?”

He’s still a little new to this, but he’s worked here long enough that he feels like he’s got a good grip on this now.

“Oh! Um. Well –”

The man scratched at his hair again, and his eyes went soft as he thought over his words. “Kairi, well, she’s – she’s really smart, and nice – but don’t let that fool you! Even though she’s sweet, she’s got a real temper, too. And she’s so – she’s so funny, and competitive, and really hard working! And she always tries to make everyone feel good, and is just – she’s really warm, and welcoming, and – um.”

He smiled dopily. “I, uh. I like her a lot.”

Riku couldn’t help but smile. “I can tell. Alright, then. Give me just a second.”

He marinated over what he’d been told, humming in thought as he wandered around the space, staring at the buckets of flowers. It didn’t have to be a huge bouquet, he thinks – nothing too outlandish. He started off with a few pink carnations as the base, thinking for a second before grabbing a few amaryllis flowers. What else…? Jasmines, Riku decides. And larkspur. Maybe forget-me-nots? Riku wasn’t sure yet, but he felt pretty good about the idea.

So far it was looking good – whites and pinks with a little hint of purple. It felt…fitting. He didn’t know this Kairi person, but this looked like it would suit her well enough.

“So…”

“Hm?” Riku hummed absently, looking around the room.

“How long have you worked here?”

“Oh – um.” He tucked some of his wayward bangs behind his ear, even though he knew the act was futile. “About three years. This shop was – it’s family owned.”

“Really? That’s so cool!”

“You think so? It was my grandmother’s and, well. Now it’s mine.”

“Whaaaat?” The man gaped at him, astounded, and Riku felt prickly heat spread down his neck. “You own this place? But you look like – my age!!”

Riku sharply turned away, pressing the back of his hand against his cheek as he looked over the plants. The bouquet still needed a little – something. He decided to go with the forget-me-nots, after all. “That’s because I probably am your age. Really, it - it’s not that impressive.” Riku mumbles quietly, back turned to the man. “I mean – this place isn’t really mine. It’s not something I made on my own. But – that’s nothing you have to worry about. Sorry.”

How unprofessional of him; what is he thinking, starting to unload his problems on a stranger? Get a grip.

He decided to grab a few leaves of a fern plant, thinking that a touch of green would be good. As he started to head back to the counter he felt – something. A light brush against his senses – a magical aura rubbing against his. It made him shiver a little, hair rising at the nape of his neck, and he cut a glance over at the man, only to notice him staring, blue eyes piercing. It felt like – like he was trying to figure him out.

“I still think it’s great.” He said softly, and he sounded so…sincere. Riku tore his eyes away, letting out a soft laugh of disbelief. “If you say so.”

“Can you do magic, too?” The man asked as Riku returned behind the counter, grabbing some lavender tissue paper to wrap the flowers in.

“I can.” Riku’s hands moved fluidly, tucking the flowers together and wrapping them up, turning some of the blooms just so, so the arrangement looks perfect. “I come from a very long line of witches.”

“Really?? That’s amazing!”

The man looked so amazed, eyes sparkling, and Riku actively had to fight back the heat creeping up his neck. “Thanks.” He mumbled bashfully. “Anyway –”

He wrapped the flowers with a nice white ribbon and held out the bouquet. “You’re all set.”

“Oh! Thank you!” The man carefully takes the flowers, a little awed smile on his face. “They look amazing – and they smell so good! And they feel really – bright! Wow, you’re really good at this!”

“I should hope so.” Riku says dryly, and the man makes a face.

“Sorry, sorry. How much do I owe you? Oh, can I also get a couple ethers, as well?”

He grabbed the bottles of ether before munny exchanged hands, and Riku gave the man his change and receipt with a smile. “Have a good one. I hope Kairi likes the birthday flowers.”

“Thanks! I hope so, too!”

The man grinned brightly at him and took a couple steps back, arms laden with his purchases. He’d started to turn to the door but – stopped. Turned back to face him. “Hey…what’s your name?”

Riku tilted his head a little, bemused. “I’m Riku.”

“Riku.” He repeated slowly, like he was testing the sound of his name, and then he gave him a smile. “I’m Sora! It’s nice to meet you – and thanks for all your help! I’ll probably come around more often.”

Sora gave him one more wave before stepping outside, the door quietly swinging shut behind him. The shop felt – much quieter, with Sora’s presence gone; everything about him was very…bright. Loud. But not in a bad way.

He did say he would come around more often, and Riku, well – he guessed that he wouldn’t mind the noise too much.

Riku stepped around the counter and moved towards the large windows, discreetly staring after Sora as he walked down the street and headed –

To Synthesize.

“Oh.” He said aloud, mouth falling open a little as Sora entered the shop, letting that bright red door close behind him.

He guessed – the little glimpse of a tattoo should’ve made it obvious. But that doesn’t mean Sora works there. Maybe his girlfriend works there? That’s probably it.

It slowly started to sink in how Riku must have looked to others, pressed up against the window and staring after someone he only talked to for five minutes.

Why was he thinking so hard about this? What was there to wonder about? He needs to get it together.

“I have work to do.” He muttered to himself, pushing away from the windows and retreating into the store’s depths.