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happysadyoyo · 7 months

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this is another one of @pillowspace's au. may be taking some of my own spin on things but shhh

don't look at me

tw for mugging with a knife

It's well past dark when you leave work, waving goodbye to the security officer as you steel yourself for leaving the building. It's cold out, so you pull your hood up against the wind, tucking it tight around your throat. Yes, generally it's bad to cut down your visibility when you're walking alone at night, but also you're all but legally blind (mostly because you've not gone to the doctor since your last prescription stopped working). The hood makes the world seem a little less big while you march from work to home.

It's not a long walk, and it's one you're very familiar with, so it takes you a minute to realize when you're no longer alone. There's footsteps behind you, and as you slow down, you hear them slow down too. Odd. There's sometimes homeless people that hang around, but it's been getting colder and the cops swept the streets a couple nights ago anyway. Other than you, there's not many people hanging out in the business district. You want to reason this all away, but you fumble for that little can of pepper spray on your keychain anyway.

You'd barely pulled your hand free from your pocket before there's a tight grip on your shoulder, shoving you forward. You stumble and fall when the grip doesn't let up, crying out in dismay when your keys skip across the pavement. "No!"

"Shut up and give me your wallet. Now!" The mugger barks his orders at you, even as you try to feel for your keys. It had a reflector on it, just in case of a situation like this, but it's too dark here, the buildings hiding the moon overhead. You keep fumbling until a boot stomps on your fingers. "Are you fucking stupid? Wallet, now!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry. I don't have anything though, I swear." It's hard to find your wallet. Your hands are shaking, and the one that just got stomped is throbbing in time with your racing heart. You barely manage to pull the threadbare plastic leather bifold from your coat before it's snatched from your hand, your mugger ripping the rubberband holding it together off with a sharp snap.

"Bitch, what the hell is all this? There's no cash!"

"I told you! I don't have anythi---ng!" There's something very sharp pressed against your cheek all at once, and you freeze, jaw snapping shut. It's a knife, duh, sharp and cold from the night air. Your eyes feel hot in conrast, itchy, and you realize you're starting to cry.

"Hands up. And no funny business, or I'll use this." The knife digs into your skin, and you shakily lift your hands, flinching when he starts patting you down, clearly searching for any valuables. There's nothing, because of course there's not! You're smart enough to know not to lie if someone is threatening you like this! But when his hand slips inside your coat, you let out a choked up sob.

"Jesus, chill, no one would want to do anything with you. Fucking loser." He's frustrated, shoving you to the ground with his foot. You stay there, biting your lip so hard you can taste blood. But at least he seems to be done with you. "You tell anyone what just happened and I'll kill you." You don't reply, don't think you can. But it's enough. After an eternity, you hear him leave.

The breath you let out is a wretched thing, somewhere between a sob and a gasp, snot and phlegm caught in your throat turning it into a rattling sound. You roll onto your knees, burying your face in the arms of your coat as you let out a series of deep, dry sobs. It takes an eternity to calm down enough to move, your body stiff as you feel for your things. Your wallet was, to put it mildly, destroyed, and the tears continue unabated as you realize your cards are gone -- the gift card from work, the snap access card, and your debit card. You'll have to cancel the latter two, but there's no cash at home. No food either. You were going to grocery shop after your shift at the library.

Your keys had somehow made it to the curb, and your curl your fingers around the pepper spray like it's a talisman. Standing takes more effort, and you use the curb to sort of propel yourself up. Your balance remains shaky, and your nose hurts now from crying in the cold, and you definitely still taste blood. You try to tell yourself you're lucky you didn't get hurt (worse, you add, as your fingers and cheek throb), but that falls flat.

You force yourself forward, to get home. To your little apartment with your little brother, to let the sitter finally go home.

Fuck, you hope she'll let you pay through paypal tonight.

#human disguise au #uhhh #this one has no dca in it rn #but there will be #I just #um #things are really hard right now and it's easier to write for someone else's au than it is to think #about my own shit #anyway my big thoughts for this au include #y/n has custody of their little brother after some shit went down with their parents #they work as a janitor downtown but it means they work overnights a lot #they also keep their job as a library clerk and are shockingly good at it despite being legally blind #there's more but I should probably sleep #if the anxiety will let me

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loveourfuture-c · 11 months

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No one talk to me I’m going to be processing that for the rest of my life.

#are there things I would change? yes of course but overall I’m happy #also I’m tired and can’t articulate my thoughts right now #but I love them and they fed should have talked some shit out #like that whole beginning nonsense when Ben dated Margot for no fucking reason #anyways should probably try to sleep for a couple hours #never have i ever #benvi #nhie spoilers #never have i ever spoilers

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frecklystars · 5 months

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Thinking abt how Driver misses me when I’m visiting another dimension. He’s happy for me when I’m visiting Ken or Six or whatever, he gets it. but he’s lonely too.

I always wear his jacket when we go to restaurants. But when he goes to restaurants alone now he’s a little... bitter. He just puts his jacket on the back of his chair bc he's already in the habit of taking it off and putting it on me. It feels lonelier wearing it in a restaurant if I'm not there. Feels heavier on his shoulders.

He doesn’t know when I’m coming back, but he orders apple pie at our favorite diner that we normally go to every few nights, because hey, what if I’m coming home tonight? We usually split an apple pie and ice cream. But since I’m not there, he takes it home instead and writes my name on the little to-go styrofoam box, draws a little doodle of a heart or a star next to my name. “she’s definitely coming home today” he thinks as he shoves the box into the fridge with the five or six others; he's been repeating that phrase for a couple of weeks now. That's okay. He's patient.

He gets in his car and he habitually goes to put his right hand on my thigh but he’s just grasping at air — oh, right. He feels an ache in his chest that’s not unfamiliar to him but certainly still unwelcome. He takes a deep breath, and when he returns his hand to grip the steering wheel, he hits the wheel a little harder than he means to. It's fine. It's all fine. He turns on the radio and switches to a station that plays the kind of music I’d like.

He’s a little resentful. What dimension do I like so much right now that’s keeping me away from Driver for days and days? What’s so special about Ken? He makes me laugh? Driver can make me laugh if he tries hard enough. What’s so special about Sebastian? He plays jazz on the piano? I want jazz, Driver can just play jazz on the radio. Six, Officer K, they’re protective, sure, but Driver is plenty protective and he's proven that more than once. Luke has a motorcycle? Driver built his own fucking Malibu, Luke's got nothing on Driver. Jacob has a lot of money? Whatever, Driver can get his hands on a lot of money. What? Driver isn't jealous. Driver isn't upset. Driver doesn't care. Who the hell is Colt Seavers? No, no, Driver doesn't wanna know. He grips the steering wheel a little too tight and clenches his jaw a little too hard. He's. Fine.

Driver doesn’t eat. Driver doesn’t sleep. Driver does nothing but think of his girl.

He keeps looking up at the stars. Where is she. Where is she. She’s gonna fall from the heavens and that fallen star is gonna land right in the palm of his hands and he’s gonna hold her so damn tight. His girl. His sweetheart. She’s coming home tonight. He knows it. He knows it. His chest aches. The sky is empty and god damn it he misses his girl.

#love the idea of him being a smidge obsessed #I’m yearning and y’know what it means my F/Os are yearning for me too god bless amen in Jesus name heads shoulders knees and toes 🙏#love notes #💕♬♪ ♡ I do nothing but think of you - ̗̀💙🔨 ̖́-#it's 8am and i should sleep. keyword should. will i actually? haha... probably not #turns out *i* dont eat *i* dont sleep *i* do nothing but think of Driver TOO #thinking about how he WANTS and YEARNS and ACHES #living every day like it's his last but hE ISN'T LIVING!!!!!#i need to make a whole essay on Six/Driver/Joe because my GOD the SIMILARITIES of how they approach their limited lifespan. HOO!!!!#anyway i miss driver so much i cried about it and now im augh. weepy. sniffly and STUPID FOR HIM

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italian-aspec-forces · 19 days

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Prepare to Destroy or be Destroyed

Hello, my beautiful aspecs and allo allies! Are you a part of the aspec community thus meaning that you inherently have an innate desire to conquer the world? Well, this is surely the blog for you! Though I am fully aware that @actual-aspec-military, I have decided to create my own Italian faction of that particularly excellent blog. To be perfectly honest, I don't care whether you are Italian or a part of the aspect community; if you aren't, I can always adopt you and you can become my child, as long as you are respectful. @denmark-forreal, @denmark-official, @official-denmark and @denmarklandia-official, watch out! We shall be coming for you firstly!

Considering as I am lazy and a burnout disappointment who cannot be bothered to rephrase the description of my account, just know that I have copied and pastedd the following introduction from my main gimmick account, so have fun guessing who I am!

Firstly, I am a minor, so please behave yourselves and don't be creeps.My pronouns are she/her and I am an oriented aroace lesbian, meaning that I don't experience any sexual or romantic attraction, but that I experience aesthetic attraction towards women. I am also apothisexual, meaning that I am both ace and sex-repulsed.

#Of course #As always #The main rule is that we are all for world domination #However #Please don't get hurt or get anyone hurt #Thank you for coming to my TED talk #I am so insightful #I know #Sorry if there are any typos #I am so tired right now and my eyes are dry #I can't see anything #Anyway #I should probably go to sleep #Italian aspecs shall invade the world

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blueflyingturtleontheway · 1 month

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So, I've heard some voices here and there lamenting how little Gabe content - especially new Gabe content - there was and you know what? I completely agree, so I thought why not, I can try to add my little droplet into this tiny sea of Gabe appreciation we have here on tumblr.

Summary: Elena visits Gabe in his house for the first time and learns something new about his past.

Word count: 1937

AN: just some friendly fluff really, headcanon heavy, from Elena's POV but Gabe centric

"Oh, watch out, the first step is-" Gabe turned around just in time to catch Elena when she started to fall backwards. "-loose."

"Thanks for the warning." Elena shot him a glare when she regained her balance. In response Gabe only sent her an unapologetic grin and pulled her up on the next step.

"Everyone's so used to it by now that we keep forgetting to fix it with my dad," he explained as they finally reached the first floor.

The stairs led to a narrow corridor, with the same room placement as the bakery beneath it. Two doors on the right, one on the left and a wide opening to the living room at the end. In a few brisk steps Gabe opened the door on the left and invited Elena in with a courteous gesture.

"Welcome to my humble abode, your highness."

Her highness graced him with a nod and slipped by him, into the small room. Elena gave it a quick one over. It was indeed small - in fact, there probably wasn't much more space than what each guard got at the barracks - and the decor wasn't much fancier either. Cream colored walls, a thin bed by the window, a wardrobe opposite of it, one wall taken up by a bookshelf and a small cabinet by another made up basically all the furnishing of the room.

"Humble is a good word." She nodded solemnly, earning herself an eye roll from her friend. They both chuckled.

"Hey, it's your room that's out of the norm, you know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Elena retorted, thinking about how three or even four such rooms would fit into hers. She walked over to the cabinet and picked up some trinket. "But it's nice to finally see where you grew up."

Gabe couldn't stop a fond smile sneaking onto his lips when he noticed the badge she was examining.

"Yeah and I didn't really get to change much here in the past five years. For example this thing I got back when-"

"Gabriel!" He was interrupted by his mother's voice from the bakery.

"I'll tell you in a moment," he sighed. "Make yourself at home!" He added from the doors and quickly ran downstairs to his parents.

Elena took another look around the room. It wasn't entirely empty, she had to admit that, and the poster of Antonio Agama on the inner side of the door confirmed that Gabe didn't change the decor much since he moved out.

She moved to the bookshelf and moved her hand across the titles - though there weren't that many of them to count. The lower shelves were taken up by some boxes and bags and what could've been a neatly packaged tent. Then finally a whole shelf dedicated to the whole collection of Antonio Agama's books. Elena chuckled to herself when she read some of the more dramatic titles and noticed even one that wasn't in Avaloran. On the next shelf, between other various travel books and biographies, was only one book by señor Agama, titled simply 'The Gecko's Tale'. Driven by a hunch she took it out and couldn't help but laugh when she read the blurb on the back. Although that explained how the whole kingdom found out that she's a bit adventurous too.

Finally her gaze got to the plant on top of the mantle. Hidden so deep in the room, it extended its ivy like stalks towards the sun, climbing a string helpfully hung between the bookshelf and the window.

Down on the windowsill two other plants looked out on the little cobbled square behind the house. Elena leaned in to smell the orchid and noticed something half hidden behind the pot. Slowly, so as not to accidentally damage the plant, she reached for trinket and retrieved it into the light. It turned out to be a wooden doll, painted to resemble a familiar navy and maroon uniform...

"Is this you?" She turned to Gabe as soon as he entered the room and showed him the figurine with a wide smile.

Gabe stopped for a moment. Furrowed his brows as he tried to see what Elena was even holding, and then furrowed his brows even more when he recognised it.

"Of course not," he grumbled, closing the small distance between them. "It's just an old thing anyway."

"It does look a bit like you though." She jumped away from him at the last moment.

Gabe gasped. Elen giggled and moved her hand away when he tried to reach her.

"Why would I even have a figurine of myself?"

For a moment they circled each other, like two lions judging if it's worthy to fight the opponent for a steak, except the steak was now wooden and 15 centimetres high. They both hunched subconsciously and made their steps in the fencing manner.

"I don't know, why does Esteban have a whole wall of his own portraits?" A sly grin slid on her face. "But I see you've decided to match his collection."

"Oh now you've done it." Gabe shook his head to hide his smile and in the split of a second was right by her. Feigning to go right for the prize, he swiped her legs out from under her.

Elena waved her hands in the air giving Gabe just the opportunity he was waiting for. He swiftly yanked the figurine from her hands, giving her the last push to fall backwards completely. He turned his head with a victorious grin, just in time to see her legs rising at the height of his knees. And suddenly the ground was much closer than before.

He folded his arms to his chest, protecting the figurine with his body and rolled on the floor. Though he didn't have to roll far, of which he was promptly reminded by his head crushing into the cupboard.

He groaned loudly and let his body fall limply to the floor.

His pained complaint was answered by Elena's laughter from the bed.

"I'm getting too old for this," he mumbled and Elena's laughter only got louder.

Finally he sat up and lifted the figurine to his face. He carefully examined it for any cracks or splinters, checked if the joints in the limbs didn't fall out and most importantly if the head was still on firm. Finally when he made sure the trinket didn't get damaged, he let out a relieved sigh.

"You're lucky it's still whole," he grumbled, rising to his feet.

"Hey, I was being careful." Elena now sat up too and sent him a playful smirk. "All the way until you decided to trip me like that."

Gabe rolled his eyes again and huffed in pretended annoyance.

"So if it's not a limited edition General Nuñez action figure," Elena continued. "What is it?"

Gabe sat down next to her and thought of an answer for a moment. He changed the position of the little soldier's arms and reached for a pin to put into his hand as a sword.

"It's really just an old toy," he said finally. "But you know, it has sentimental value."

He finally passed Elena the figurine, so she could take a look at it herself. It wasn't as old as she thought at first. The paint was faded, but still held onto the uneven surface of the wood and as she moved her fingers across it, she realized that it must've been all whittled by hand, by someone who put great care in it, but wasn't a professional.

Still the amount of details was impressive, especially in the construction of the thing. She moved the tiny soldier into the proper fencing position and to her delight found out that it fits flawlessly, the wire on the joints creaked quietly, as if it had been waiting for an opportunity to shine for ages.

She glanced between the figurine and Gabe on her left for comparison. The uniform, despite the familiar colours, was a tad different, it resembles more what she remembered from her childhood, than the uniform Gabe was wearing at the moment.

"I got it from my first fencing teacher," he continued.

"The same one who threw coconuts at you driving training?" Elena raised a brow, earning herself a chuckle.

"Yeah, the same one." A sad smile reached the corners of his eyes as old memories resurfaced in his memory. "He was a tough man and always talked about how big an annoyance I am, but -" he gestured to the figurine and shrugged.

"Well, that explains why it looks like you," Elena bumped him with her shoulder. "I'm sure he could've already seen that you'll be a great guard."

"Oh, I don't think he even wanted me to be a guard," Gabe laughed again. "But you know, the situation was a bit different." He pondered something for a moment before continuing. "And to be fair, I didn't even realize that it was supposed to be a guard at the time, I was pretty sure he just came up with the design by himself. I only really connected the dots a few years ago, when I found this old thing again."

Elena nodded silently and put a comforting hand on his arm. She could see that this topic wasn't easy for him.

"Though maybe what you said was the point." He straightened suddenly and his gaze went back to the figurine. "Maybe he wasn't completely against me joining the guard, just... joining the right one."

His smile became wider and it was like his whole face lit up. Elena raised the little soldier's arms to make it cheer. They both laughed at how expressive this piece of wood was.

"So where is your coach now?" Elena asked, caressing the wooden toy one more time.

He only sighed at first and for a moment his gaze became clouded again, before he shook his head to cast the memories away.

"I wish I knew," he sent her a sad smile. "One day he just... disappeared. A few trinkets and one letter is all the proof I have that he wasn't just my hallucination."

Elena's lips twitched in a matching sad smile, but before she could say anything, they both heard a voice from downstairs, calling the unmistakable word 'dinner!'

Gabe clapped his hands on his knees and sprung up to his feet.

"Ah, just in time", he extended his hand to Elena. "I think eating is a much more fun topic than discussing the weird things I did in my childhood."

Elena examined his face for a moment more, but gave up on asking all the questions that pushed to the tip of her tongue. She sent him a smile instead and accepted his hand.

"Oh, you mean you did more weird things?" She made the little figurine gasp.

"I feel like I shouldn't have started this topic," Gabe laughed.

"Oh no, you won't escape now." She poked him in the chest and put the little soldier in his hand. "I gotta know all the crazy stories."

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you something," Gabe raised his hands in defeat. "But you can't mention it to my parents, please, they'll never stop until they tell you my whole life story."

Elena made a theatrical gesture of tapping her lips in thought as she backed out of the room.

"I'll consider it," she sent him a wide grin and in a second turned and ran towards the stairs.

"Hey- wait!" Gabe called out, running right after her to save what was left of his reputation.

#my post #blue's writing #eoa #elena of avalor #gabriel nunez #gabe nunez #gabriel nuñez #gabe nuñez #elena castillo flores #gabe and elena #elena castillo flores & gabriel nuñez #elena and gabe #uuuuh #fanfiction #this is. completely unedited and written mostly in the middle of the night #so i just hope it makes sense XD #but i really wanted to write something and hey a great motivator came so why not seize the occasion #(probably because youre busy blue and should be sleeping instead but do you ever listen to yourself? no)#another day of wondering 'would they fucking say thay'#was this fic prompted by one scene of gabe fondly rolling his eyes at elena that i saw in an amv #maybe #anyway i hope this ficlet reaches the person who inspired it and i hope it brings you some joy :>#i may or may not continue it one day or at keast clean it up a bit and transfer it to ao3 #my accounts been dead there for quite some time now #and back to the fic you guys have NO idea how proud i am od myself that its almost 2K #yes thats a lot for me #i considered whether im able to write those 74 more words but nope i gotta sleep #bonus: blanca and roberto downstairs hearing all the noise in gabes room and the sound of something heavy (gabe) hitting the floor #'remind me is our son 13 or 23' *fond exasperated sigh*#maybe i shouldve added to the note that this fic basically has no context huh

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rillette · 2 years

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I colored it and added internal dialogue o7

#hal jordan #green lantern sleepers #basketball #hal's internal dialogue is adapted bc there isn't like actual internal dialogue going on #anyways ive been listening to the new muse album on loop for the past. checks watch #at least three hours probably #its good.#ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh completely satsified with all of this but like. eh. i like the background so who give a shit #its me i give a shit but also i dont care i want to go to sleep its almost three am in the morning #i SHOULD have given him a bloody nose if i wanted to be CANON ACCURATE but i forgor </3 #ok im going to stop talking in tags and post this now byeeeeeeeeeee

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 7 months

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💌 just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who’s left such lovely feedback on my latest chapter of four walls. it’s been a weird and emotionally draining week for me, and getting to come back after a long day and read all your kind words has been such a solace. it’s truly hard to put into words how much it means when people connect with something you’ve created (and i’m far too exhausted to even attempt it tonight), but trust me when i say nothing grounds me and keeps me writing through all the difficult stuff more than knowing that what i’m creating means something to people other than just me. thank you so much for your generosity in sharing that with me via your lovely comments and feedback 💌

#friendly reminder to leave comments on the fics you enjoy #it means the world to all of us writing them 💜#also sorry if this is totally incoherent #i’m so exhausted and overwhelmed tonight i feel like i could fall into bed and sleep for the next 48 hours #but i just wanted to share this because it’s been something i’ve been so thankful for all week 💗#i can’t wait to get stuck into finishing the next chapter for posting this weekend #i know there’s been a lot of slow build but… well #what it’s building to is very close now #and i’m so excited to share it with you!!#anyway i’ll stop rambling now #i’m going to drink tea and watch hannibal and try and have an early night #thank you and sorry to anyone who’s read through all of this nonsense 😅#i need to stop posting on tumblr when i should probably just go to sleep lol #four walls #lulu posts

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lovelesslittleloser · 7 months

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People should be more afraid of asexuals, because they’re the only people that are immune to one of the seven deadly sins

#seven deadly sins #maybe they have metaphorical lust. lust for the aesthetic #asexual #we also should fear aromantics but they aren’t necessarily immune to lust so fear them for the usual reasons #pride? sometimes can be negated by self-hatred but usually shows up when you do something to be proud of. as it should #greed? you might donate your money to orphans but if anyone touches your collection of shiny trinkets their hand will be removed #envy? unless you have never met any other living beings I don’t think it’s possible to escape this one #wrath? work in public service for a week and we’ll get you wanting to fistfight god #gluttony? eating disorders are a thing; however you should definitely eat something unless you wanna die #sloth? insomnia is a thing. but you should probably sleep if you don’t want to be driven mad upon the rocks #honestly too little of the seven deadly sins is also bad. no sloth? you’re barely functioning. no gluttony? you die of starvation.#no wrath? you’ll become a doormat. no envy? you’ll never want to improve yourself. no greed? you give all your stuff away and are now poor #no pride? you don’t love yourself AT ALL. no lust? no new generation.#and frankly that last one isn’t bad in the slightest considering that much is also true for people with a same-gender significant other #(unless they are also trans and willing but that’s a them problem to have)#plus overpopulation is a thing anyway so frankly the less lust the better.#the avatar of lust has been too overworked the past few decades and and wants a damn break for once #tw eating issues #tw eating disorder #eating disorder mention #shitpost

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bunnihearted · 1 month

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🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts ://#idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt..#i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw....#nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭#idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know.....#oh if only things were easy

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allaganexarch · 8 months

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forget me not

Stray Gods || Grace/Persephone

She can’t bear to face anyone since she dropped out of college. She had to talk to her parents, obviously, but it’s been almost a year since they spoke. She was expecting them to yell at her, tell her she was wasting her life, tell her she’d never get anywhere without a college degree, that she was almost done, so why couldn’t she just wait it out another couple of years and then at least she’d have finished something? But they didn’t yell. They both just seemed…sad. Tired. And that was so much worse. It was like they had given up on her. Grace doesn’t know how to explain. She still hasn’t quite managed to explain it even to herself. Would anyone understand? Freddie never demanded an explanation—she loved Grace no matter what—but Grace was sure she wouldn’t get it. Freddie was passionate about so many things. Freddie was the sort of person who would probably go on to get a Master’s and a Doctorate or maybe two or three, because she just couldn’t decide what she loved the most. And Grace? Grace barely even felt like a person in college. She tried to do all kinds of things, join clubs, meet people, take classes she thought might be interesting. She tried to distance herself from Freddie, even, and she was not gentle. She tried to destroy herself over and over again, and make something entirely new. She tried to forge herself into someone interesting, someone worthwhile. But in the end, the truth always came crashing back to her. She can’t escape herself. She can’t escape how utterly unremarkable she is.