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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

Note

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

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This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

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This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

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This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

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Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

---

This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

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This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

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I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

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This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

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OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

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May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

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You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

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Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

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@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

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Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

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👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

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This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

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aeoneri · 2 years

Text

[What We Don’t See] Chapter 36: Una Década

Summary:

Bruno recollects his feelings about his family. -- Written in Bruno's POV.

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Ten years.

I’ve been in these walls for ten years.

It’s difficult living like this, being near the family, but no longer being a part of it.

I’ve learned to live with the loneliness. It wasn’t easy for the first few years. The most difficult one was a few months after I disappeared, watching my sisters try to celebrate our birthday without me there. They couldn’t do it. No one could, not even myself.

Then, they stopped celebrating it altogether.

My family changed so much since I left.

The thumping of the drawers on the other side wakes me from my sleep. It seems like everyone is getting ready.

It’s Antonio’s fifth birthday.

I used to feel bad for Pepa and Félix when I heard that they had another child. While little Antonio seems like a wonderful boy, I wish he didn’t have to endure the expectation of redeeming the family. He must be terrified.

I would be too if I were in his shoes.

I stretch and roll off my makeshift bed, which is a ratty hammock tied in the corner of this small room. The space is filled with various knickknacks I’ve accumulated over the years. A few came from my old room in the tower that I moved through here by accessing the varied passages and cracks circling the house. The rest I acquired by sneaking out of the walls and taking them while everyone is asleep.

The place is a mess, sure, but charming and cozy nonetheless. It’s my home.

I rub my temples and try to shake away the dream I just had before all the noise. Ever since I stopped having visions, I started having dreams.

They are always about the same person. It’s always her.

“Today’s the day, I guess,” I sigh as I pick up one of the rats scampering about. “What do you think? Would Antonio’s ceremony be a success?”

The rat on my palm starts rubbing its face with its paws. I’m imagining a conversation again.

“Hm, you’re right. It’s none of my business,” I hum as it jumps off. “I’ll go get us some breakfast, you all just stay put in here.”

I leave the room and make the short walk towards the pipes I’ve rerouted for water to wash my face. After I refresh myself, I go over to the gap next to the kitchen for food. I find the usual fare along with a few extra arepas, pandemonos, and fruit on an old plate with a folded note. I quietly reach over to grab my meal that’s tucked safely in the corner away from sight.

“Thanks, Dolores!” I say as I make my way back to my room, plate in hand.

Among the family, Dolores is the only one that knows I'm in the walls. She heard me the first day I went missing and waited until everyone had gone to sleep to interrogate me about it. I asked her to keep my presence a secret. She kept her promise all these years and never said anything, even when Camilo once told everyone that he saw me.

I laugh to myself when I recall the memory. He was seven and was sneaking around to have a midnight snack when he stumbled upon me in the kitchen. It was one of my late-night runs. He fainted before I could even explain myself.

I feed my pets first before I grab my share. I settle myself in my seat, savoring each bite of food while I read what Dolores has written down for me.

“Tío Bruno, I LOVE the new twist you’ve introduced. Amaranta being José’s aunt?! I thought they were of the same age? When will you create the next episode of Amor y Pasión?”

I chuckle. Even as an adult she’s still captivated by my stories. It gets boring in the walls, so I keep myself entertained by making my pets act.

“Don’t worry, Dolores, you’ll get your next episode. I already have the storyline plotted out.”

I continue reading the rest of her message and my heart does a little squeeze when I reach the end.

“P.S: I heard her singing today. She’s outside again, but I still don’t know where. I scoured the mountains earlier, hoping this time I’d catch her, but, no luck. Wherever she is, she’s been making it difficult. We’ve been searching for her for ten years. I’m starting to suspect her family might know something…but I think they’ve been sworn to secrecy. They never mentioned anything.

I know the feeling of keeping secrets…

Mamá and Tía Julieta miss her so much. I miss her too. I wonder if she still remembers me. Or the whole family. Everyone talks about her sometimes in hushed tones. I think they forget I have my ears to the wall.

Anyway, the song she was singing earlier was a little heartbreaking. The last line made me cry. I had to pretend that I was fine when I got home to help out with the decorating for Antonio’s ceremony later (sorry about the noise). I’m not familiar with the song, but it’s about a love story. Maybe she’s thinking about you, Tío.”

I don’t respond. Instead, I finish up my breakfast and leave the room to do my daily inspection of the walls. The cracks have been multiplying more and more lately. I pull the hood of my ruana up on my head so I can take a closer look. I’m not brave enough to go near the walls on my own as Bruno, so I pretend to be someone else.

“Alright, let’s get this over with. After all, I, Hernando, am not afraid of anything…”

Maybe except for one thing. I try not to think so much about the past as ‘Jorge’, my second personality that wears a bucket as a hat, starts to prepare the spackle to fix the walls. I fail miserably, though.

Does Gabriela know that I think about her, too?

My mind goes back to the dream I had this morning. I think it’s more of a memory than a dream. A memory of a happier time when we were together. Nothing else in life can quite compare to it, even if I try to build it around stories.

A love that could never be.

Tears start streaming down my face. I take a moment to swallow down the pain. Crying wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t turn back time. I’ve chosen this fate.

Ten years.

I’ve been in these walls for ten years.

I’ve never been able to forget.

I’m still in love with her.

++++

I’m sitting near the main entrance to the wall that’s beside Dolores’ door, listening to the celebration outside. Antonio has a gift, making me feel relieved. Though what that gift is, I have no clue.

I’m enjoying the music, dancing alone when the celebration suddenly stops. My stomach drops when I hear someone’s frantic voice. Mirabel’s.

“The cracks were there…they were…everywhere! The house was in trouble…the candle was…Abuela, I promise…”

No. No. It’s not happening now, is it?

I run off before I could hear any more.

++++

“Okay everyone, team huddle,” I start grabbing all of my rats and plop them down on the crate that I’ve repurposed as a coffee table…sometimes as an ottoman. “She’s seeing the cracks.”

All of my pets stare at me as I ramble on. “Mirabel is seeing the cracks…” I slump down on my armchair, throwing my hands up in frustration. “The magic is weakening.”

I cover my face with my hands and chant all of the mantras I know to ward off bad luck. “It’s not real. It’s not going to happen. The vision has long been destroyed. We’re fine. The family is fine.”

A rat climbs up my ruana and squeaks, asking for attention. I sigh as I pick it up and scratch it behind its ear. “Okay, I’m not going to lie to you, Juan,” I start muttering, thinking about the past. “I think I sabotage every relationship I’m in, every single one of them. I bolt when something goes wrong, even if it isn’t my fault. I definitely have self-esteem issues… ”

Juan sniffs the air and squeaks again. I blink. I’ve forgotten what we’re talking about and I’ve spent a good minute ranting. “Lo siento. I didn’t mean to get off track. It’s just…I have a lot on my mind. With her, the family...and…who am I kidding? I know, I’m worried. I see the cracks too. It’s multiplying.”

As if I don’t notice Casita falling apart inside these walls. I wince when I recall I broke the floorboards somewhere when I was moving my armchair from my old room to the makeshift one. There’s now a huge, gaping hole and I avoid that area as much as I can.

My head hurts.

“Well, anyway, I’m going to bed, maybe everything will be better in the morning,” I place the rat back down and they all scamper away. I settle myself into the hammock to sleep.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that it’ll get better in the morning. It takes a while before I’m able to calm myself down to dream.

++++

Glossary of terms (in order of appearance in-text): Amor y Pasión - Love and Passion

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#fanfiction #encanto #bruno madrigal #original character #young bruno madrigal #tooth rotting fluff #fluff and romance #fluff and angst #friends to lovers #mutual pining #slow burn #original character has a gift #madrigal family #humor #trauma #ao3fic

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acavatica · 3 years

Text

Listen here kids...

crowles — Today at 9:42 AM man I forgot how excellently 90's chapter 1 of the new B&E opens [9:42 AM] I love Marco bragging about the internet to the audience like "you can read SUMMARIES of SEINFELD EPISODES!"

Cavatica — Today at 9:45 AM True fact about me: In the late 90s, Sailor Moon and DBZ hadn't aired all their seasons in America and had a lot of reruns, so I looked up individual episode summaries of the Japanese releases, translated by the most blessed and exalted bilingual people (thank you personally Hitoshi Doi, you weird creep) and I experienced those shows in brief text format first [9:46 AM] It's like if you learned about Animorphs through just the flip books [9:47 AM] Being a Sailor Moon fan especially WAS A TIME [9:48 AM] I've been a fan of Sailor Moon since I was 8 or 9, lol like the same time as animorphs, I was a very cool kid. [9:49 AM] Me with #16 in my lap reading DBZ summaries with an AOL star trek chat open in the corner

crowles — Today at 9:49 AM oh man I remember like... god, finding a website with the SCRIPTS for episodes of Ruroni Kenshin because I couldn't find it to rent [9:49 AM] i would print out episode scripts, cav. I had a binder

crowles — Today at 9:49 AM god you were such a cool kid

Cavatica — Today at 9:54 AM Sometimes I literally HAVE DREAMS about the animorphs chatrooms I was in as a kid, like when I was 11. I have physical dreams of being in this chatroom AS A SPACE because it was a personal website based, hand coded chatroom, pre-AOL style honestly kind of like the chatrooms in #16 were portrayed, but not QUITE that weird (but like, it's more realistic and less boomer than most people think). You had to refresh constantly to see if there were new messages. It was called Kimmeree's AniChat and it was run by the two of the OG Animorphs BNFs (as far as I can tell from my 10 year old self's memory and understanding of how fandom worked). It was an RP chat with like a dozen different rooms for different settings the characters could be in. But I wasn't old enough for the RP chats and I didn't know what they were doing really, so I only hung out in the OOC chat, and that was called The Space Bar, and there was usually only very loose RP in it and I mostly lurked because I was a small child and everyone else was like 15 to 21-ish, but SOMETIMES I would try to participate and I was very cringe and annoying because all I wanted to do was talk about anime [9:55 AM] So the dreams I have are in a literal bar that my child brain had the imagination to process as a real place and it's just a dream setting in my rotation

crowles — Today at 9:55 AM oh my goddddd I remember you talking about this, it sounds amazing, what an absolutely iconic 90's internet community experience [9:55 AM] I love how it's a dream setting [9:56 AM] they really felt like a real space though!! I remember having that same kind of imagination experience

Cavatica — Today at 9:56 AM Honestly, I might be... one of like, very few people in fandom who remember this. I know there were still some of them kicking around in Richard's Animorphs Forum

crowles — Today at 9:56 AM omg..... you're one of the old guard [9:56 AM] "do not cite the Deep Magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written" [9:57 AM] you're the Javik of Animorphs fandom [9:57 AM] oh my god i remember his name, I've been reading too much fanfiction

@c-rowlesblogs and I are, and have always been, extremely cool kids.

Also, I hope to god, if you were in Kimmeree's AniChat that you don't remember me. And if you do, I really hope the content I've created has made up for what an absolute annoying shit I was as a kid.

This has been the first, of perhaps many, confessions of a fandom senior citizen. Circa 1998.

#animorphs #fandom history #I still remember a couple of the really active people #myitt #SheHasNoDNA #are you out there #are any of us

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huntertales · 4 years

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Part One: Slippery Little Snake. (Dog Dean Afternoon S09E05)

Episode Summary: While investigating two bizarre murders, Y/N and the boys realize there is an eyewitness to both gruesome deaths--a German Shepard. Anxious to find out what monsters they are dealing with, the three look up a spell that can help communicate with the dog. When Dean decides to be the one to perform the spell, he quickly realizes it comes with side effects no one saw coming. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 4,356.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Best cure of all.”

You grimaced at the sight of Dean’s infamous hangover cure he swore was the key to getting over the consequences of drinking from the previous night before. You and the boys had given Kevin a chance to cut loose and enjoy himself away from his responsibilities in hopes it might help make the kid feel more refreshed. Only it seemed the opposite reaction happened. Kevin complained of a headache that wouldn’t go away and feeling nauseous to the point he feared he might throw up. You didn��t think he would have taken it so hard, and he was such a lightweight. Luckily through the complaints of an upset stomach and how the room spinned he managed to keep down the food you offered him.

Dean suggested an infamous Winchester speciality that might be able to kick this hangover in its ass, his own words. You watched in disturbance as Kevin drank two glasses of the stuff. The sight made you flashback to your younger pre-hunting days where you were a lightweight compared to the way a Winchester could handle their alcohol. Dean always could drink you under the table, not that you tried to keep up with him when you drank with him. The next morning you suffered the consequences almost exactly like Kevin had. Dean swore the drink he created helped. You swallowed it down and a few minutes later you threw up everything you had drank from the night before, and anything else that hadn’t digested yet. You admitted the stuff made you feel better. But you wouldn’t touch that stuff ever again.

You told Kevin to keep resting up and sleep off the hangover for a little while longer. When you were sure the kid was going to be fine on his own, you and Dean made your way to the war room where Sam had been occupying for a little while. He sat at the table with his laptop open and doing a little bit of research, hopefully accomplishing something better than the fiasco you had endured just a few minutes ago.

“Wow.” Dean’s approaching voice made his brother turn his attention away from the screen for a moment to see the both of you appeared to be beside yourselves in what you just went through. Sam gave you a confused expression, wondering what the problem was. “Kevin. Just poured some buffalo milk down his gob twice.”

“Buffalo milk?” Sam repeated what his brother just said, not exactly sure if he wanted to know where the man managed to get his hands on the suff. You sat on the edge of the table as Dean placed his hands on the back of an empty rolling chair next to his brother and leaned his body forward.

“Yeah, Dean’s infamous hangover cure-all. It’s apparently got everything in it. Except buffalo milk. God, the smell of it alone brought me back to my early twenties.” You mumbled, your nose scrunching up at the past memories you wished stayed buried. “Hopefully it’ll help Kevin from puking anymore of his guts out.”

“How is that kid still recovering from Branson?” Sam had seen his fair share of lightweights in his time, but there might have been nobody who couldn’t tolerate alcohol the way Kevin showed he wasn’t able to. You shrugged your shoulders from the lack of answers. The poor kid was a lost cause. You figured he would have taken the first chance he got to crawl into a bottle in some kind of attempt to bury the trauma that came from the chaos that ensued.

“What can I say? He’s an amateur.” Dean said. You scoffed as your reaction, feeling that was an understatement from the way you left the poor kid. “The slippery nipple shots at the Dolly Parton Dixie Stampede nearly killed the guy.”

“All right. Well, I got something that’s gonna get us back on the road.” Sam offered a change of subject to something he thought his brother might be interested in hearing. The older man took a seat next to him as you leaned over to take a quick peek at the screen, wondering what kind of case it was.

“Great.” You said. “I’ve been itching to stretch my legs and get out there again.”

Dean turned his head to your direction when you voiced your happiness of tagging along. The man was hesitant about letting you back out there after the favor Ezekial had done for him, and the warning of the consequences of furthering his stay. “You sure you’re ready for that?”

You furrowed your brow from his question, “Why would I not be ready for that?”

“Aren’t you kind of running on empty?” Dean asked in concern.

“Yeah, but the last three nights straight, I had eight hours of shut-eye. And for a hunter, that’s like twenty.” You tried to talk the man into letting you do your damn job without restrictions. You looked over at Sam to see the young man was hesitant himself about giving you the chance to tag along on a hunt. You rolled your eyes from the way they were acting. “Trust me, guys. I feel good.”

“Well, that’s great and all, but you’re still recovering from the trials. I think you ought to pace yourself, you know? And the sooner you heal…” Dean reminded you of a little fact he thought slipped your mind. You crossed your arms over your chest at the flimsy excuse he thought was going to work on you. When he trailed off and fell silent for a moment, you raised your brow in curiosity as to what he was going to say next. “Sam and I just want you back to your old self.”

“I am, guys. I know my body better than anyone else. Not to mention the fact that Kevin’s back on the heaven spell. Crowley’s locked up. We should be out there doing what we do best.” You said. The boys thought otherwise from their unspoken actions that said more than they were willing to admit. You rolled your eyes in annoyance as Dean leaned back in his seat and kicked up one of his legs to the table. The man tried to get a word into the argument, but you stopped him before he could. “Sammy, what’s this case you got for us?”

“Uh, a taxidermist named Max Alexander mysteriously crushed to death. Nearly every joint in his body dislocated, every bone broken.” Sam read off the gory details that caught his attention in the first place. “Poor guy is a human pretzel.”

“Tell me, Dean, what’s got that kind of strength?” You asked him, curious to see what his response was going to be since he had so much to say just a minute ago.

“A demonic luchador?” Dean made little effort into trying to make an education assumption to what might be the cause behind the out of ordinary death.

“Shop’s a couple hours away in Enid, Oklahoma.” Sam said. “We should at least check it out.”

“Unless the boss man thinks there’s some reason we shouldn’t.” You directed your gaze back over to the older Winchester to hear what he had to say. A smile crept to the edges of your lips from the way he fell silent. The response to his defeat. You slid off the table and back to your feet to get started on the packing that was ahead of you. Before you did, you wanted to make one thing clear. “Don’t forget the fact that I kicked your ass just the other day. And I’ll gladly do it again.”

You went on your way from stating the small fact you thought was enough proof to get you back on hunting without them worrying about your health. Dean let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand down his face from your ever growing stubborn behavior. “I swear, I don’t even know why I even bother with her.”

+ + +

You and the boys arrived in Oklahoma a few hours later, the first stop on your list was checking out the crime scene that was still crawling with cops. The first suspicious thing you noticed before even walking into the building was the threat painted on the front entrance of Max Alexander’s taxidermy business. “Die Scum” was written in all capital letters. Whoever painted the threat wanted to get their message across loud as possible. And someone made sure to keep to the painted words. You wondered if it was done by the same person. A few monsters liked to taunt their victims before going in for the thrill of the kill.

Sam noticed something in the letter M that was worth pointing out. You noticed it was an upside down triangle with what appeared to be a paw print. He snapped a quick picture with his phone for future research and headed inside with the rest of you. Taxidermy was something you didn’t give much of a second thought about. However when you stepped into Max’s business, you found yourself surrounded by endless animals of all sorts, all dead and stuffed for display. Animals’ heads mounted to the wall, birds frozen in mid flight, wild cats bearing their sharp fangs appearing as if they were ready to attack. There was some sort of strange craft to stuffing a dead animal and making it look realistic.

“Well, the creep factor just skyrocketed.” Dean mumbled, eyeing the dozens of dead animals surrounding him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” A sheriff stopped the three of you, not sure who you were.

“How are you? I’m Special Agent Chaplin.” You introduced yourself to him, flashing your fake FBI badge to the man. “These are my partners Agent Michaels and DeVille.”

“The body’s already been to the morgue. Just wrapping it up with Dave Stephens. He’s the one who discovered the boy.” The sheriff explained. You looked over to see an older man leaning against the register, still distraught from the events he thought would have never happened in a million years. “Such a shame. I used to go hunting with Max. He was a real good egg.”

“Sorry for your loss.” Dean gave his condolences to the officer. “You mind showing my partner around? Agent Chaplin and I have a couple of questions for Mr. Stephens.”

The sheriff nodded his head and gestured for Sam to follow him into the next room where the murder took place. You and Dean approached the older man, figuring he might know a thing or two that might be helpful in discovering if this case might be worth your while.

“Dave Stephens?” You asked. You and Dean flashed your badges once again at the man, “My partner and I have got a couple of questions for you if that’s all right.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you need to know.” Dave responded without an ounce of hesitation. “Max was a real pal.”

“Hunting buddy?” You wondered. You smiled ever so slightly when you saw his expression immediately change into surprise from how you were able to answer correctly in one guess. You had a feeling it was a common hobby among the locals from the sight of this place. “So, about what time did you discover the body?”

“About nine A.M.—my usual pickup time.” Dave answered. “I come in every Wednesday and Sundays to collect the entrails.”

You furrowed your brow from the terminology. “The entrails?”

“The animal organs. After Max would dig them out and work his magic.” Dave said. “He was a real artist, you know?”

You discovered what kind of magic Max was able to do with the creatures he was given. You found your attention lingering away from the conversation for a moment when you spotted Sam exploring the man's collection. You quickly bit your bottom lip to keep a smile from spreading across your lips at the little creature he was holding that appeared to be dressed as a character from Game of Thrones. Sam amused himself from the expression that crossed his face. Dean found it nothing more than bizarre as to why a grown man would waste his time putting so much effort into such a thing.

“Strange thing is, though,” The both of you quickly turned your full attention back to Dave to hear what else he had to say, pretending as if you were distracted by something childish. “bins were empty this morning.”

“Why is that strange?” Dean asked.

“Well, because it’s a Sunday. Weekend hunts are pretty much a given in this neck of the woods, so they’re usually chock-full of guts.” Dave explained as to why it was out of the ordinary for him.

“Any chance Max could have cleaned them out himself?” You wondered.

“No. It’s a biohazard. You can’t just throw the stuff out.” Dave said. You were learning all sorts of things about animal organs today, more than you ever wanted in your entire life. “You gotta burn it.”

“Huh. The more you know.” You gave him a polite smile from his explanation you could have gone without. You looked over to the sheriff when he approached the three of you again. “Is there anything else missing from the shop?”

“No.” The sheriff said. “The register was full, and the safe was intact. And all of Max’s trophies were still on the walls.”

“And was there anybody else here when you showed up?” Dean asked.

“No one. No, other than the Colonel.” Dave chuckled and looked over his shoulder to Max’s pet. You felt a smile stretch across your lips at the sight of a German Shepard.

Sam finished up his search around the crime scene and headed back over to you and his brother. You smiled at the sheriff and Dave, excusing yourself and walking over to another part of the shop where there was nobody else around to have a private conversation of your own to discuss what you found. You had a feeling this was going to be a worthwhile case after all. Everything was adding up with unusual circumstances.

“Okay, so,” You stood with your back to the crime scene, catching up with the younger man about everything you were able to learn in the short time. “We’ve got a thief who’s jonesing for animal parts, we’ve got a pagan symbol, and we’ve got a human pretzel.”

“Yeah, it all sounds very witch-y, but I wasn’t able to find a hex bag.” Sam said, putting a hole in his own theory to what might be to blame for the taxidermist’s death.

“All right, well, let’s keep digging. But not here.” Dean suggested. He didn’t move right away. You noticed his eyes wandered up to a part of the shop that kept his attention. You followed his gaze to see the man was staring at a stuffed owl hanging up on a high shelf, its yellow eyes fixated on the huner in a way that made him uncomfortable. “I don’t like the way that one’s looking at me.”

You stifled a laugh from his paranoid behavior and softly nudged him in the arm to get moving. The three of you still needed to get settled into a motel and started on research to figure out what was the cause of Max Alexander’s death. You took one more curious glance at the owl before heading out the front door.

+ + +

“Okay, that symbol in the graffiti, it’s…not wiccan. It’s copywritten.” Sam worked right away on trying to figure out what the strange symbol you had seen back at the crime scene. The search took little effort into finding its source. You walked over to the man, dropping the shirt you pulled out from your bag you pulled out to change into and out of your fed clothes. He held out his laptop for Dean to take so the both of you could take a look at the homepage for yourselves. “Local animal rights group, Enid’s answer to PETA.”

“S.N.A.R.T.?” Dean read off the animal rights’ group and its terrible name they thought was a good idea. It stood for Showing No Animal Rough Treatment. You didn’t know if you should laugh or at least give them credit for trying to be original. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“Well, it makes sense that an animals-rights group would have an axe to grind with a taxidermist.” Sam said.

“Why?” Dean asked, not seeing the connection between the two. “The animals’ already dead.”

“Yeah, but hunters are what keep them in business.” You added on. “Now the question is, are those bleeding hearts actually witches or just hippies?”

Dean glanced up from the laptop screen and to you, proposing a question. “What’s the difference?”

+ + +

The difference between the two that one was capable of murder. You took doubt in the fact that a group of animal rights activists would go far as committing murder. But when you added the element of witchcraft that’s when the lines between right and wrong started to grow blurry. You and the boys decided to speak to a couple of the members after tracking them down to a vegan bakery called Gentle Earth. Business was booming with customers enjoying a plant-based meal inside and passing by a couple of women walking out with a cup of all organic and overly expensive coffee, ethically sourced you guessed.

“Always knew I’d find the source of all evil at a vegan bakery.” Dean muttered. The man felt out of his element from the people he was surrounded by.

Sam sniffed the air, finding an odor he couldn’t place his finger on. “What’s that smell?”

“Patchouli. Yeah, mixed with depression from meat deprivation.” Dean said. You rolled your eyes from the way he was acting in such an immature fashion. His strong beliefs were radical as those who thought eating animal products were cruel and unusual. The man drew your attention to the front counter when he spotted the owners waiting on a few customers. He was quick to point out a fashion accessory that was a bit odd from the setting that didn’t require them. “Hey. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags.”

You let out a quiet sigh and shook your head from the way he was acting, heading up to the counter to have a discussion with the owners. “Olivia and Dylan Camrose?” You asked the couple. Olivia nodded and smiled. “You two are members of S.N.A.R.T, correct?”

“Founders and co-presidents, actually.” Olivia corrected you about the role they played in the activist group. She playfully bumped shoulders with her husband, both of them sharing matching smiles from the hard work they loved doing. Olivia reached out and grabbed a brochure that was kept near a display of their desserts, presuming all of you were curious for being part of a good cause. “Can we interest you in some literature?”

You politely shook your head. “Or a flaxseed scone?” Dylan asked. You looked down at the pastry that appeared to be tasty at first glance, until you heard the lack of ingredients that made it vegan. “It’s wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, and surprisingly moist.”

“Let me stop you right there.” Dean was quick to end this conversation before he could get roped any further into this hippie lifestyle he wanted nothing to do with. He pulled out his badge to flash it at the couple and got to the reason why you were here in the first place. “We’re here to investigate the death of Max Alexander, a local taxidermist.”

Olivia placed the brochure to the counter, her body growing stiff at the unexpected news. “He’s…dead?”

“You knew him?” You asked.

“Ish. Um…” She glanced over to her husband before finishing her response. “small town.”

“Well, he was murdered last night, and a S.N.A.R.T. logo was found at the crime scene.” Sam informed the couple. All though their eyes were covered with a pair of dark shades, the man could see the couples’ body language change in a way that made him suspicious. “You two wouldn’t have to know anything about that, would you?”

The couple thought it would be best for everyone to move this conversation somewhere else. All of you moved to an empty table in the middle of the bakery to hear their side of the story and fill in the gaps of that night.

“His business is funded by hunters. And you know how hunters are.” Dylan immediately lost you from the point he was trying to make. He was more than happy to elaborate on his view of them. “They’re selfish dicks who define themselves by what they kill.”

You had to admit you were a little offended by their presumption, despite the type of hunters who they were talking about was the complete opposite of what you did. “And as animal advocates, we couldn’t stand for that.” Olivia added on.

“So, you killed him?” Sam questioned the couple.

“Of course not.” Olivia said. She was awfully quick to shoot down the accusation that was simply false. “S.N.A.R.T. doesn’t tolerate violence.”

“Huh. This is coming from a couple who spray-paints death threats.” Dean said, bringing up the red flag that seemed out of character for someone who advocated for the complete opposite for animals lives.

“It was a scare tactic.”Dylan defended himself. “We just wanted to spook him.”

“Turns out we were the ones who got spooked.” Olivia admitted. You wondered exactly what she meant by that, causing her to elaborate even further on her story. She passed a glance over at her husband, who nodded his head, feeling it was the right thing to do in order to set the record straight. “Well, last night, when we were tagging the joint, we heard this noise.”

“A hissing noise.” Dylan added.

“It freaked us out, so we ran into the alley.” Olivia continued on.

“But someone attacked us.”

“Sprayed us in the eyes with mace.”

“And it's not like we could go to the cops.”

“So, now we look like total douchebags because we have to wear our sunglasses inside.” Olivia gave the reason why the couple was forced to wear the dark shades indoors, making them feel exactly like what Dean had said earlier. You didn’t even bother looking over at the older man to see his smug smile at his judgement that turned out to be right.

The couple took off their sunglasses to show the damage that had been done to them from the surprise pepper spray attack. You winced at the scarring around their eyes that sure didn’t look like it was caused by something like pepper spray. It almost appeared to be acid burns from the extent of the physical damages. Dean subtly wagged his index finger, signaling for them to put the shades back on after finding the burns a little too uncomfortable to keep staring at.

+ + +

You did a little research of your own after you made it back to the motel and changed out of your fed clothes for some jeans and a shirt. Something about the burn like wounds the couple had gotten didn’t seem to add up. And you were right about your suspicions.

“Necrosis?” Dean read off the medical term you discovered, wondering what it meant.

“Premature death of tissues—that’s why their eyes were all messed up.” You said. “And it’s not caused by mace.”

“All right.” Dean twisted off the cap to his beer and tossed it to the sink. He leaned over your shoulder and placed a hand on the table to steady himself in doing so. He read off the medical information about black eyes from the page you pulled up. "What causes it?"

“Right here.” You placed a finger on the screen and began to read off something from the paragraph that might explain the reason behind the couples’ painful looking burns. “‘Blunt force, radiation, venom.’”

“As in ‘snake’?” Dean guessed from the sounds of it.

“The taxidermist was constricted. Olivia and Dylan heard hissing, and they were sprayed in the eyes. By venom. Sounds snake-y to me. I say if it does turn out to be that, we should skin it and turn it into a fabulous pair of boots.” You suggested. Dean chuckled at your joke, taking a seat from across from you at the table. “Bet S.N.A.R.T would love that.”

“Okay, so…what are we talking here,” Dean said, deciding to get serious for a moment to try and figure out what you might be hunting. “Some sort of freaky-ass snake monster?”

“Maybe.” You mumbled. You fell silent for a moment trying to figure out how all of this added up to make proper sense with what knowledge you had about the reptilians. “The weird thing is snakes either envenomate or constrict. No snake does both.”

“Correction,” Dean said. “freaky-ass mega-snake monster.”

You quietly chuckled to yourself before throwing out your best guess as to what it might be. “It could be a vetala.”

“Yeah, but they’re not afraid to sink their fangs in. Taxidermist was bite free. It doesn’t really fit the profile.” Dean reminded you about the small detail. You nodded your head. A sigh fell from your lips at the lack of leads you had at the moment. Dean came to your rescue of adding another pair of hands to the night of research ahead for you and Sam. “Call Kevin. Have him look some stuff up.”

You shut your laptop and reached for your phone when you decided to do just that. It wouldn’t hurt to have an extra set of hands on the case while you figured out what you were hunting. You just hoped the poor kid still wasn’t feeling hungover. The internet only had so much information at your fingertips, the Men of Letters’ library would hopefully have the answers you were looking for. You needed to find out and quick, before another life could be taken.

[Next Part]

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asherranceoftheheart · 4 years

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Icarus Falls - III - The Good Doctor Comes Home

Story Summary: “You’ll never leave me alone right?“ “You think I’d actually let you go?”

A story about the slow descent and corruption of a lonely man, a demon who learns that bonds go both ways, brothers who deeply regrets their words spoken out of anger, and a conflicted man watching them all fall down from the distance. Here’s a Puppet!Chase AU that was written with extreme self-indulgence so beware and read the tags before entering.

Chapter Summary: Chapter title says it all lol but also a breather chapter Pairing/s: None, Platonic Character/s: Jack McLoughlin, Chase Brody, Antisepticeye, Henrik Von Schneeplestein, Mentions of Other Septic Egos Genre: Angst, Fluff Chapter Warning/s: Self-Deprecating Thoughts (Thoughts like I’m not as good as the others, etc.), Sadness, extremely vague mentions of torture (Archive Of Our Own Edition) (Prev. Chapter)

Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up feeling both numb, and raw and sensitive on the inside and thinking ‘Ah. It’s one of those days…’ and wondering if it’s even worth the effort to open your eyes and move?

Chase felt emotionally and physically drained with a rocking throbbing headache as he woke up in a cold empty bed, tucked in like a child under the blankets. He stared up at the ceiling blankly, looking and thinking of nothing in particular until the memories began to come in crystal clear film in his mind. His hand twitched as he remembered the warmth of another person enveloping him even if that person had been his mortal enemy.

A part of him wanted to hate himself for missing, for yearning for the addicting affectionate touches that his enemy showered him with while he had been dreadfully sick. After all, had he become so desperate after nearly nine months of having no positive physical contact with other people that he would take comfort in the demon who was the main cause for why it was happening in the first place? However, a bigger part of himself was just tired, so very tired of the constant emotional olympics his self-hatred would force him to go through every single day.

He closed his eyes and for a moment, he allowed his own mind and heart to fool himself and pretend that the last part of yesterday never happened. He chose to believe in the fleeting happiness of the illusion that his best friend had never gone into a coma and tht Anti was merely a part of an excruciatingly long nightmare.

When he opened his eyes again, the sun had gone down outside but he can’t find the energy in himself to give a fuck about time moving on without him.

Chase heard his phone buzz with new notifications. He stomped down the flickering spark of hope that it would be any of his brothers finally answering his messages and calls. He knows that he can’t keep blocking out the world like this especially when the world needs him to be Jack McLoughlin so with an exhausted grunt, he slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position and reached over to the left bedside drawer to grab his phone.

He pressed the button on the side and was relieved to see that it was just Doctor Adam rather than one of Jack’s friends asking Jack if he was alright.

Dr. Adam: Mr. Brody? You haven’t replied to my messages for a while. Is everything alright?

The concern from the doctor melted some of the ice numbing his heart. This man really reminded him of Henrik albeit softer and more formal.

Chase: I’m ok doc. But I don’t think I’ll be able to drop by for a while. Think I caught a bug on the way back or something and I don’t want to transfer any of it to Jack. I’ll try to take a few more days off until I’m sure I’m okay. :)

Dr. Adam: Ah! I thought so… You’ve never missed a day visiting your brother unless you were really sick. So I was worried. But since you said that you’re okay I have to trust that you know yourself and your limits by now. Do take care of yourself! Get a lot of sleep, eat something even if it’s just buttered toast (altho I would prefer if you ate healthier foods…), drink lots of liquid, and make sure you take your medicine.

Chase: Yea, I’ve been doing all that Just keep me updated on Jack pls?

Dr. Adam: But of course, I know how much you worry over your brother. Anyway, I’ll leave you to rest. I hope you get well soon!

‘I hope I do too, Doc.’ Chase wiped a hand over his weary face with a loud sigh.

He placed his phone down on his bed when his eyes caught sight of something sharing the same drawer that his phone had been placed in earlier. It was his medicine and it was placed on top of what appeared to be a note. He knows what the pills were obviously for but the note awakened some of his curiosity and anger.

It was obvious who wrote that note.

He wanted to run over to his desk and grab his lighter to burn that seemingly innocent looking white paper as anybody with a shred of common sense should. However he knows himself. He knows his curiosity over what the note would contain would itch at him for a long long time if he didn’t find out what it said.

He inhaled deeply and slowly let the air out as a low hiss through gritted teeth while he mussed up his already messed up hair.

“Fucker,” Chase insulted both the demon for taking advantage of his thrice damned curiosity that could rival the stubbornness of a spoiled cat, and himself for falling for this obvious show of manipulation as he forced his arm to reach out and grabbed the paper.

He crumpled the note into a wrinkly ball and stared down at it with some trepidation. What horrific message will this paper contain? Was it going to contain some blackmail worthy secret? Maybe taunt him for his complete breakdown yesterday? Jesus Christ… He literally fell apart on top of the bastard. He’d wish he could erase the memory but Anti would probably take that as permission to completely fuck him up mentally and maybe possess him as a little treat.

Well, he can’t keep stalling for more time like a coward. He uncrumpled the paper, smoothing it out on his covered lap, and read it with some trepidation.

One pill every eight hours from the moment you wake up. Going to be busy for a while. Don’t wait up for me, little brother. You’re still sick so don’t have a breakdown every other hour. Remember I’M ALWAYS WATCHING

Chase stared down at the note that was practically dripping with sarcasm with an expressionless gaze. A form of calm had settled down upon him and he almost absentmindedly started to rip the note in half. He doesn’t know what to feel about the laughably simple note. Should he get angry? Should he spend the time away from the bastard trying to decode some sort of hidden message from it?

In the end, he decided that it wasn’t worth the energy to get annoyed or obsessed over the taunt. He spent the next few minutes tearing the note into teeny tiny pieces before he left it scattered all over the top of his lap in unsalvageable scraps.

The ripping and tearing actually brought him some satisfaction which he relished in no matter how tiny it was. He swept the mess off his bed with a wide wave and watched it free fall to the floor like snow during winter. The man slid off his bed and spitefully ignored the medicine before he dragged himself over to the bathroom to freshen up.

He took a short shower, changed into fresh new indoor clothes, and dried his hair with a towel before brushing it up until it stayed neat and fluffy on his head. A sudden burst of productive energy suddenly shot through his entire body when he looked over the entirety of his room and realized just how filthy he had let it become over the months.

Chase could almost hear Anti sneering at him at the back of his head, telling him how useless and broken he was when nobody is there to pull him forward like a fucking donkey.

A massive wave of spite mixed in with his burst of energy and he began walking around the room to gather up his dirty clothes to put inside a hamper that he carried over to his laundry room to load up inside the washing machine. Then before working the machine, he went back to his room to change his bed sheets and blanket to a clean one before hefting them all up to the laundry room. While the washer was humming and vibrating as it got to work, he grabbed two big trash bags from his current location before he walked back to his bedroom.

The first step to feeling better after another one of your long episodes is to clear up the clutter that built up around you. It will help you associate clearing up as another way of resetting your own point of view.

A tiny smile twitched up at the corner of his lips as Henrik’s gruff but gentle voice as he coaxed him from his bed in the past. He separated his trash into two bags and straightened up to look around his now cleaner room. Chase tied up the trash bags so that none of them would spill out before he opened up his window and smiled faintly at the refreshing evening breeze that brushed against his heated face.

Then he walked over to his closet to bring out the Roomba that he hasn’t used for a while, letting out a victorious ‘heh’ when it still worked and placed it in the middle of his room before turning it on to roam around the floor to suck up the dust that built up over the past months.

He gave his cleaner and brighter bedroom another look over with satisfaction pulsing in his chest before making two trips up and down the stairs to take out the trash that he just collected and move the piled up dirty mugs on his desk down to the kitchen.

“How’s this for being useless and broken, asshole?” Chase spitefully said into the empty air towards the absent being who insulted him daily when he was there. “Fuck you.”

Chase huffed to himself in the middle of the kitchen while he was crouched over his dishwasher, loading it up with all the dirty dishes. After he closed the thing’s door, he realized as his stomach growled rather loudly, that he was pretty hungry.

“I’m hungry but I’m not in the mood for anything too heavy or chewy…” Chase hummed while he browsed the contents of his fridge. He leaned over and grabbed the covered bowl at the back of the fridge. “Oh hey, this was the cream of mushroom soup I ordered a week ago… It doesn’t smell bad so I guess it’s still fine!”

He heated it up on the stove before scooping them all up into a clean bowl. He placed a spoon with it before he walked over to the living room. Chase turned on the TV before laying on his side at the couch while he slurped up his soup.

‘Man… If Hen was here he’d probably be telling me that this soup isn’t healthy enough for me,’ Chase chuckled to himself, eyes misting over with nostalgia over the memories of his most fussy older brother. ‘Then he’d threaten to tie me up on a chair and feed me his horrid homemade food.’

Henrik might be one of the smartest people in the world but his cooked food… There’s a reason why he was never allowed to cook for them during their weekly gatherings. He remembered Marvin telling him a story about his first time of coming into contact with Henrik’s Mystery Food and swearing on his name and magic that it had a living soul.

“It’s not that bad!” He would hear Henrik stomping his feet on the floor while imagining the lethal glare he’d give his brothers while they gently redirected him even as he’s protesting the discrimination loudly from the kitchen.

“Henrik please… Every single bite Jackie makes of your food immediately sends him to the hospital and you of all people know that he’s immune to nearly all sorts of poison.” Jack squeezed the fuming doctor’s tensed shoulders in an attempt to calm him down.

“Come on, Jack-Jack. You don’t have to sweeten the truth up for our mother hen,” Marvin’s delighted and mischief-filled voice would snicker from the other room where he was probably curled up on the floor near the window to get the maximum sunshine. “Henrik, your food tastes so bad that Jackie’s mind blocked out any memory of the taste to protect him from relieving the trauma.”

“As if your cooking is any better!” Henrik would shoot back scathingly.

“At least I can survive on it on my own and feed some of it to others!” Marvin would have puffed up as he readied himself for their banter.

“Guys please,” Jackie, ever the peacemaker, would try to calm the duo down while Jack wouldn’t even try and raise the white flag the second they start.

Chase laughed to himself at the present time as he recalled the loud racket Marvin and Henrik would make while they exchanged light-hearted insults. He would’ve been in the kitchen, humming and smiling while he busied himself with his cooking. A few minutes later would find Creator and Hero skulking back to his safe grounds with their tails tucked neatly between their legs and trying to help him but he’d just easily shoo them off to pout at the kitchen table.

‘I wish Jamie had experienced that before everything went to complete shit,’ Chase’s smile turned bittersweet at that stray thought. ‘Henrik and Jack would’ve loved him. He and Hen would probably spend some nights drinking tea in the middle of the night with each other. He’d have helped curtail some of Marvy’s sharp nature with a light smack on the shoulder. Jackie would’ve been so glad to have someone helping him act as the peacemaker of the family. Jack… Jack would’ve adored him. He’d gush about how Jamie was so spirited, so sassy, expressive and—and how he and Marvy always loved so fiercely…’

Chase licked his spoon clean (Marvin would’ve been looking at him with disgust and tell him that he’s a mannerless savage which… bold words for someone who would lick their balls while in their cat form) and dropped it down with a loud ear ringing clang on the now empty bowl before placing them on the living room table. He scooched over and laid down on his back on the couch and crossed his arms at the back of his head as a makeshift pillow while he reminisced.

Anti might insult him for doing nothing else but think of the past but it was the only thing that gave Chase the energy to keep moving forward even if he didn’t really want to. For the sake of all his loved ones who would’ve wanted to experience those memories in the future with them after all of these bullshit… Yeah, he’d trudge through all the painful days for them.

He closed his eyes and tried his darnest to remember anything memorable that had happened since the others left him behind but other than Anti’s unforgettable presence, everything else passed by in a blur.

“Damn,” Chase sighed, his smile lacking any light nor humor to it. “Anti really had a point when he said that I’m useless without the others huh?”

It is not your fault, Chase. Depression has the tendency to mix all your memories together in an unrecognizable blur. Do not worry. We are always here to help you remember.

“Unfortunately Doc,” Chase sighed as he sat up and grabbed the dirty bowl and spoon to place them together in the washer. “The only person left who’ll help me remember the past months is a complete bastard who I wouldn’t entrust my head to even if I had to choose between him and pain.”

Not that he really wanted to remember anything… He’s pretty sure that if he remembered anything it would just be of him whining about his loneliness, Anti fucking him up, and trying to keep up the Jack mask so that nobody else would find out that something had gone wrong.

He went back upstairs and moved the wet clothes from the washing machine to the dryer and loaded up the dirty bed sheets and blanket to the washing machine before heading straight for his bedroom. The Roomba died under his desk, having lost all of its battery while he was downstairs, and he scrounged through his dark closet for its charging adapter. Once the Roomba was set up and charging, he changed into his new pajamas and slipped back under his blankets.

He continued ignoring the set of pills on the drawer and turned on his side so that he could curl up under the sheets. Chase powered on Jack’s phone and waited for it to load so that he could check the comatose man’s social media. Another mentally and emotionally draining part of his imitation job was to maintain the Jack mask while pretending that the man was A-Okay and there was no reason for concern.

First, he pulled up Twitter and made a face when he realized that somebody posted something on the account while he was sick. Thank god it was just a little message to everyone that he was going to be on a break for a while because he was sick. It was still creepy that Anti could perfectly copy Jack’s mannerisms as he looked through the little retweets-interaction with everybody. Even he had some hard time fully copying his best friend’s posting quirks.

Either way, it was still annoying and stressful to Chase how the demon could keep pulling these kinds of shit with Jack’s social media. Maybe he should change to passwords and login info to everything while Anti was god knows where.

…

Chase sighed and shrugged. Then again, it’s not like that would be effective anyway. He knows that Anti was the one who keeps reblogging art of himself on the tumblr account even though he was pretty sure he changed the password nearly fifty times over the past few months. It never fazed him.

Speaking of tumblr… A part of him wanted to resent the community for giving the demon so much power through their attention via art, theories, and stories but he knows that it wouldn’t be fair of him to blame them for something that is completely out of their control. It’s not like they knew that the thing with Anti which they knew to be an ‘ARG-like’ story for the channel was actually his and his brother’s reality. Most of them were just people who were enthusiastic for the escapism their ‘story’ provided and he couldn’t exactly fault them for that.

He decided to update twitter that he’s feeling much better than before and that he’ll go back to filming videos tomorrow. The replies were almost immediate as the community reassured him that it would be fine if he took more days off to recover fully and he can’t help but smile at their unending support even if it was actually directed towards Jack. He knows that they wouldn’t mind it if he took an entire week off but he gets really antsy when he’s not putting up any content for the channel.

It feels like if he doesn’t keep it up, there’ll be nothing left for Jack to wake up to, all the hard work he put into this channel and community has been one of his brother’s ultimate joys. He doesn’t want to see Jack’s devastation if he also loses the community that he so dearly loved to the coma.

Besides… It’s not like he can afford to slack off while the others are trying their hardest to save Jack. This and taking care of Jack was the only thing that he could do to be of some use rather than become another burden to his brothers.

After he read and replied to a few more retweets, he turned off Twitter and moved his attention to the other big gathering place for the community. He tapped Tumblr’s app button and scrolled down Jack’s blog and let out a sharp, annoyed exhale when he saw that Anti had been busy reblogging things related to him or him torturing the other egos while Chase had been indisposed. A lot of the theorists hit the nail on the head when they theorized that the one who had been reblogging Anti-related things without any caption had been Anti.

It must have been something about Tumblr’s wonky programming but Anti can’t say anything or it’ll come out all glitched and zalgoed. Of course, he could’ve gotten maximum attention that way but he probably thought that it would be much better to have the fans stewing and trying to obsess over every single action that may or may not relate to Anti by having it all be a mystery.

Sometimes Chase wondered if maybe he and his brothers could make use of the community’s eagle-eyed observations that tend to hit right most of the time to help them find out a way to save Jack. He’s lost count of how many times they’ve managed to notice something that he hasn’t noticed such as a little subtle glitch on the video’s audio, a flash of someone in the back of his facecam, or even changes in the description or titles of the videos that was definitely not made by him.

Their skills would’ve been impressive if it wasn’t downright frightening for how obsessed they seem to be with Anti.

He reblogged a few cool artworks and edits with little words of encouragement under their captions. Then he’d like some of the little sneak peeks to the daily lives of the community members that always made him smile because at least these funky little people are doing their best to live. It’s a nice reminder and boost to the morale that there was a reason why he was also doing this other than to keep the channel up and running for Jack’s comeback.

Chase stretched out his arms and legs with a jawbreaking yawn as he felt the sleepiness settle in. He looked at the time on his phone and made a face when he saw how late it was. No wonder his eyes were starting to blur with sleep. He decided to set his alarm clock up for the morning. He’s gotta wake up early to prepare himself to go under the Jack mask and record a video after all.

The tired man scooched underneath the blanket, covering himself up to his bed and curled up into a tight ball while tugging the sheets around him. A spark of pride welled up inside his chest when he thought back on how he managed to do a little bit of productivity in tidying up his bedroom. While he definitely started out the day rough and numb, he managed to salvage it by the end.

At the end of the day, it’s these teeny tiny baby steps that would bring you much farther than you thought when you look back in the future. So do not sell yourself short, Chase Brody.

Never forget that we are always proud of you no matter how inconsequential you believe your little progress was.

Henrik’s gruff but gentle voice echoed through his mind, easily drowning out all the insecurities and dark voices sneering at him for his pride. For the first time in a long while, Chase fell asleep with a faint but sincere smile on his lips.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

“Maybe you should’ve jumped higher for that trick shot so that you wouldn’t have fallen over and broken your foot,” Jack’s voice shook with silent laughter as he leaned on Chase’s side while they both watched Henrik scrambling around, fussing over Chase’s foot that was placed in a cast, and fluffing up pillows to squeeze behind Chase’s back while he’s relaxed on the couch and worrying his head over whether his broken foot was raised high enough.

Henrik spun around and levelled a death glare towards his creator who instinctively raised both hands in a show of harmlessness, the doctor bared his teeth at him, “If you keep encouraging him to do more reckless acts I will break your own leg.”

Chase coughed and choked on a laugh and gave his doctor older brother a smile full of innocence and sunshine when he swiftly turned around to glare at him as well while Jack sputtered in the background. Jackie was dying on the floor. He sounded like he was about to upgrade from his booming cackling to wheezing, dying laughter.

“Wh— You took an oath to never harm another human when you became a doctor!” Chase turned his head to look at Jack when he felt him sitting up straight and leaning forward with an outraged look.

“I did no such thing,” Henrik snubbed. “It was whichever fake Schneeplestein that magic made to explain my existence in this universe that made such an oath.”

“You’re still a doctor!” Jack yelled vehemently, slapping a hand on his knees.

Henrik sniffed. He looked down at Jack from behind his nose and made him feel like he was some worm tainting the bottom of his shiny shoes. Then the doctor dramatically turned his back on the pouting man obviously giving him the cold shoulder.

“Chaaaase,” Jack twisted his body to ‘sob’ into his best friend’s shoulder. “Henny’s being mean to me again!”

“There, there,” Chase snickered as he patted the older man’s curly hair. “I won’t let the big bad doctor bully you anymore.”

Jack turned his head so that his cheek was pressed on top of Chase’s shoulder and he stuck his tongue out at Henrik who rolled his eyes back at him.

A massive white maine coone glided into the chaotic living room, jumping up on the back of the couch, and strolled over to smack Jack’s face with his outrageously long and fluffy tail—while ignoring the annoyed yelp ‘Marvin!’ before the poor man started sneezing and cursing the magician’s existence—as he slid down a bemused Chase’s torso into his lap. He rubbed his fluffy body against his little brother’s chest with a loud meow for his greeting.

“Hey to you too, Marvy,” Chase chuckled as the cat began to purr.

Marvin’s purr grew louder until he was practically like a growling motorcycle and arched his spine when Chase’s fingers stroked him from the bridge of his pink nose down to his tailbone. The heavy white cat kneaded his claws into Chase’s baggy shorts before circling around—ignoring Chase’s agonized groan at his weight—and curling up into a smug self-satisfied ball on his lap.

“You satisfied now, Drama Queen?” Chase teased the magician with a fond smile while he scratched the cat on the perfect spot behind his ears. “I think we should put your cat form on a diet. You’re getting pretty heavy.”

The cat nipped at his fingers with a hint of a warning bite but Chase just tapped his prickly older brother on his nose as a gentle reprimand. He only got a bunch of annoyed chattering for his daring gall to touch his majesty.

“Marvin, you better not bite anyone again,” Henrik dryly warned the magician who hissed at him. “Don’t think I can’t sedate you into going to the vet and getting you neutered.”

Marvin let out an offended yowl and attempted to stuff his massive unit of a body under Chase’s shirt, drawing giggles from the man who tried pushing his fluffy butt away as his squirming body dragged his soft fur over his ticklish stomach.

“Marvin, you fucker!” Chase squealed and tried to pull out the squirming cat who somehow managed to find the perfect position and perk out only his head from under his shirt. “Really? You’re going to subject me to your stinky butt for the entire movie marathon?”

His only response was a thick tail that thwapped his sputtering face.

“Aww… It’s just his way of showing you his love, Chasey-wasey,” Jackie giggled without looking up from his phone. “Also I can’t blame Marv for wanting to snuggle up to you. You’re like a portable heater slash teddy bear.”

“Yeah well, I’d say Marvy would be like a teddy bear too if it weren’t for the fact that he weighs like a rock on top of my kidneys,” Chase deadpanned before smacking Marvin’s back through his shirt irritably. “Use your claws on me again and I’ll neuter you myself without the help of a vet.”

Jack snickered at the irritated mewl from the cat while Henrik huffed and rolled his eyes at their antics. The doctor sat on the right couch seat and pulled the side lever up so that he could fully recline his body and feet. Jack leaned over and grabbed the remote from the table in front of him and Chase.

“Everybody finally settled down for our movie night?” He asked, just to make sure so that nobody would suddenly whine in that childish sort of voice that he didn’t wait for them again.

coughJackiecough

Jackie gave him a thumbs up and finally looked up from his phone. He was laying on his stomach on the blanket he set on the floor with a variety of pillows forming his nest around him. His own bowl of popcorn and a massive bottle full of Sprite was set in front of him.

Chase makes an agreeing grunt while he leaned on him on his side, taking care not to move his cast while Marvin chirruped from under his shirt, his little head poking out directing his nose to the bowl of popcorn on the table. Henrik just shrugged and gestured his head towards the screen.

“Just get on with it. If anybody was not ready I am sure that they’ll be letting out some godforsaken complaint through their loud mouths,” Henrik scathingly said but his eyes glimmered with laughter, taking off the bite from his words. He merely arched an eyebrow at everyone when they childishly stuck out their tongues at him.

Jack huffed and shook his head at the brotherly banters. No family activity would be the same without these chaotic preparations and quips from the others. He pressed play on the remote and started the movie. He sat back on the couch with Chase, his smile unconsciously growing wider when the youngest ego scooched closer to him.

…

“Is he asleep?” Henrik asked in a hushed tone as he craned his neck to look at Chase’s face which was hiding away against Jack’s side.

Jack nodded with a gentle smile and pressed a finger against his lips in the universal sign for silence. He slowly began to shift himself so that he could move Chase into laying down fully on the couch and for his head to be placed on his lap. Henrik assisted him, carrying the younger ego’s legs into the couch and made sure that his injured foot was raised with a few pillows propped underneath and around it to keep it from moving.

Chase made a soft noise and pressed his cheek on Jack’s stomach while the older man petted his head, idly rubbing a thumb against the healed over scar that would ache from time to time especially when Chase is particularly emotional. The sleeping man sighed contentedly in his sleep and murmured something far too unintelligible for either man to hear. Henrik grabbed one of the free blankets remaining to place it over Chase, tucking him under the warm sheets.

“I’ll get the other blankets—Marvin!” Henrik hissed as the cat that had been watching them from the table, slowly walked over to jump on Chase’s chest. Chase’s breath hitched but thankfully he didn’t wake up. Chase wrapped his arms around the cat who had stretched himself out over his little brother’s body and tucked his head under his chin. “You’re so lucky he’s a heavy sleeper. If you woke him up I would have shaved you, you needy cat.”

The cat flicked his ears at Henrik and made a show of nuzzling the bottom of Chase’s chin and purring almost as loud as a starting motorcycle to spite the doctor by showing just how comfortable he was in his makeshift bed.

Jack rolled his eyes at the little drama queen before he looked back at Henrik with a pleading smile, “Blankets please? It’s pretty chilly around here at night.”

Henrik sighed and nodded. He carefully maneuvered himself out of the crowded living room. Jackie had spreaded out his entire body on his own side of the room, snoring lightly while drool trailed down his cheek. Henrik made sure that he didn’t touch on the territory of the unknowing human venus flytrap who’d snap his arms around your legs in a flash the moment you stepped within his area of attack. Last time one of them (poor Marvin… despite screaming and trying to squirm out of those iron arms...) fell for that trap, they had to deal with a clingy as a leech Jackie for the entire night.

He went upstairs to grab extra blankets and pillows for him and Jack since someone (Jackie…) hoarded most of them for their nest and one of the original blankets was placed over Chase. When he went back down, Marvin was already asleep, his cat body slowly moved up and down to his rhythmic breathing. Jack was staring down at Chase’s face with a blank look which generally meant that the man was probably thinking something that was bothering him again.

As he passed by his creator, he gave the man a gentle smack on the back of his head with his elbow. “This is not the time for complicated thoughts. This is family time.”

Jack jolted at the hit and his voice, turning his head to make a silly face at him.

“I know, I know, I just can’t help it, Hen,” Jack sighed and patted Chase’s head. He peered at the doctor when he saw what he was carrying. “Huh, you got those from the closet in the hallway?”

“Where else would I get it? Here,” Henrik made Jack lean over so that he could place two pillows on the back of his neck. “Support for your neck.”

“Thanks,” the other man gave him a thumbs up with one of his free hands. “Can you uh place my blanket over my lap? I’ll move Chase’s head a bit.”

“Wait your impatient butt. I am just going to move around the couch.” Henrik said as he walked over to his own spot to drop his pillows and blanket before moving over to Jack.

Jack carefully lifted Chase’s head so that Henrik could slip the blanket over his lap. He absentmindedly rubbed a thumb over the sleeping man’s head when his brows furrowed at the movement and he looked like he was about to wake from his sleep. Thankfully, he settled down once he was returned to his previous position only he curled closer to his creator’s warmth.

“Ah man, Chase really is the best little brother I could ever ask for,” Jack sighed with a fond smile softening the weariness from his face.

Henrik snorted, giving Chase a little pat on his head before he walked back to his couch chair and dropped his body on it.

“And you say you don’t play favorites,” Henrik accusingly narrowed his eyes at Jack who stuck his tongue out at him.

“And I’ll keep saying it no matter how much you guys accuse me of it,” Jack grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

The doctor rolled his eyes before spreading his own blanket over him. He turned over on his side and snubbed Jack with his back, ignoring the ‘Oh real mature, Henrik!’ that Jack shot towards him quietly.

“Goodnight Mister McLoughlin,” Henrik said in the snobbiest tone he could muster.

“Are you seri— Oh whatever, goodnight to you too, Doctor Schneeplestein.” He heard Jack huff and mutter something incomprehensible with his distance under his breath.

Henrik stifled a smile and his chuckle as he felt his creator fake pouting even with his back turned against him.

As he closed his eyes, he was highly aware of the sounds of soft breathing (or snoring in Jackie’s case…) coming from everyone in the room and he thinks that it’s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard his entire life.

He wished that he could stay in this single moment in time for as long as he wanted, to engrave it in his memories for when the nights are cold and when deep regrets are keeping him awake.

0-0-0-0-0

“Testing! Teeeeesting… Alright, the mic and audio seems to be okay,” Chase squinted at his face cam, flicking a finger in front of its lens to get its autofocus clearing up on his face. He brightened up when the camera finally focused just right! “Attaboy! Now we can finally start recording.”

He’s done his vocal warmups before he started setting up everything and even made sure that the house was nice and locked up and made sure that he doesn’t need to go for a pee break for one to two hours. Those moments are always a hassle and awkward for him and Robin to cut out. Not to mention it’s always a bit of a distraction especially when he is finally in the zone for the camera.

He also has his own lil water container filled with delicious fresh water in front of him, out of the camera’s point of view, just so he could freshen up his voice from all the screaming and yelling that he was about to do. While voice cracks are fun to jump from from a comedic point, it’s not nice to be known as the loudest Irish youtuber who still has voice cracks like a teenager going through puberty.

The phone has been muted and set on vibrate, and the games have been pulled up and listed on his desktop ready for recording!

Today’s video recording theme is… those medical surgery related games.

It had been an idea that had been drifting around his mind for a while but he didn’t have the mental and emotional energy to bother with the vivid reminders of his missing older brother. Maybe this was just another way of spiting Anti for what he had done to him a two days ago in his vulnerable state just like how his sudden burst of energy fueled him to prove that he wasn’t completely useless all alone by tidying up his wreck of a room in the middle of the night.

He knew that Anti seems to have it out for Henrik just as personally as he has it out for Jack since any mention of his brother has the demon hissing and spitting rage which he found rather peculiar since he’d have thought that the demon would be using what he’s doing to Henrik as another one of his taunts and considering he probably has the upper hand over the doctor right now. He stopped mentioning Henrik after that one moment when Anti had gone frighteningly still with his eyes glowing bloody murder towards him and then disappeared for a few hours. When he came back, he was covered in blood and Chase wisely didn’t ask him from whom it came from.

Since then, they never talked about it although Anti’s presence would be unbearable whenever he played any medical related game since it always felt like the demon was breathing down his neck (although knowing his luck he probably did but since he didn’t care enough to turn around and see that horrifying sight he’d like to believe that it never happened) just daring him to mention anything about his beloved doctor of a brother. The only time Anti made any comment about Henrik was literally that postcard hack on tumblr. That was a hell of a thing to open the app to.

He could feel the smugness rolling off Anti’s shadowed corner in waves during that day and he had to stop himself from vaulting over the couch to grab the demon who’s been pestering (severe understatement, he knows but still—) him for months and demand what the fuck he’s planning with the postcard.

Anyway, now that Anti wasn’t here (and thank fuck for that) he’s free to record and post this fun little thing for the channel. Honestly, it’s pretty odd to have the past two days of complete silence from Anti but it was also extremely refreshing and absolutely rejuvenating for his spirit. Oh, he didn’t doubt the ‘Always Watching’ threat from his last note but this was the most peaceful and private he’s been for the past months.

Chase adjusted the headset over his ears, checking to make sure that it wasn’t uncomfortable, before he stretched out his arms and body for the long recording session, releasing a satisfied groan at the obscenely loud cracks that his joints made with the stretch.

Okay… Close your eyes…

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

In the next few hours, Chase Brody will not exist. Instead, another man will take his place. How would he react to certain things and events? How would he act out a carefree skit of a parodied impersonation of their resident doctor?

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Turn the chair around and…

Click

Something snaps into place as his lips stretched itself out into a familiar crooked goofy grin at the sound of his mouse clicking. The metaphorical mask slipping over his face felt so much more natural than when it was taken off at this point in time. He swung his chair around and greeted the invisible audience on the other side of the screen.

“Hello and welcome back! I am Doctor Jacksepticeye,” he both recognizes and doesn’t recognize the face that was looking back at him on the recording screen, “and welcome to my ER!”

It was easy, always so so easy to step into his shoes, to become someone who is dearly beloved by so many people, to become someone who has inspired this community to follow him. Every time he slips this mask on for the screen he always experienced this high knowing that for once he won’t be someone who was miserably alone and useless to his loved ones. If he immersed himself deeper into this mask, he could even believe that the people are seeing him and not Jack but that’s a thought that he’d brush off the moment it lingers at the surface of his mind.

However, while it was highly tempting to keep the mask up even by his lonesome, it always faded away the moment the camera stopped and left him far more drained than before he started recording.

Stop. Don’t think about that now.

Chase does not exist at this very moment.

Only Jack remained with that cheerful smile on his lips.

Finally, he allowed himself to fade into the background and push that persona forward to take his place.

In the next blink, Chase closed his eyes and Jack opened them.

0-0-0-0-0

The deep blue sky stretched over the horizon.

It was much too big. Much too hopeful.

It was too much for him who has been stuck in the darkness with no one but Him for company—

No.

Do not think.

Not yet.

Later. Yes, later. In safety. In his family’s safety and warmth.

The door had been unlocked. Why? Why had it been unlocked?

Then he was running, stumbling about in the abyss like a drunk and suddenly there was light—

It had been too bright, too warm on his cold skin that it felt like it was burning his flesh off like the hot po—

No. Regroup. Stop.

Do. Not. Think. About. It.

He ran and ran and ran amongst the crowd, deaf to the rude words that had been tossed towards his way when he crashed into someone and jumped away as if he had been shocked, deaf to the concerned strangers’ questions before he shoved their wandering hands away.

Don’t touch him. Don’t fucking touch him!

It hurts. His eyes hurt. His ears hurt.

It’s so loud. He missed the blissfully subtle static that always kept him company in his cell—

Stop speaking… Stop speaking! Shut up… Shut up. Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup—

The colors began to shift around him and they… became familiar? Familiar streets. Familiar names.

There was that sound from the annoying dog barking from a neighbor’s—

Ah.

This must be another one of his games.

The front garden was unkempt. Why was it unkempt? There were no flowers blooming from the bushes that looked as dry and thirsty as he normally felt. His little brother loved—loves his gardening hobby. He loves seeing the smiles of the passersby and his family when they see the colorful flowers he’d carefully tend to every week.

Yes, this was just further proof that this was all an illusion. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tell Him to stop this farce. However, he knows that he must continue the show lest He becomes angry for his disobedience once more.

He walked on. There. The front door was in front of him. Instinctively, he reached into his coat’s pocket (since when had he started wearing this coat?) and of course, of course, the key was there.

The door is opened and he is greeted by a cold, silent hou…

No.

Wait.

He looked up. There was a voice. It was faint but there it is.

Which show was he putting on this time? A replay of that fateful day? Or perhaps it was another one of those games where He makes him pretend that he was finally free?

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

He walked up the stairs.

One.

Two.

Three.

The fourth door.

The Recording Room.

What sort of cruel joke awaits him behind this door he wondered?

He was tired. So so tired… Perhaps if he pretended to be the brave, cool headed doctor that he had been He would grow bored of this show quick.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

The ice on the doorknob was a welcome sting to his constantly wandering, constantly moving mind. It keeps him still. Keeps him in the moment just like all of the pain—

Take all the shattered pieces of your bravery now, good doctor, and let it all out…

The door was flung open and the familiar—unfamiliar man in the room spun around in his chair and looked up at his heaving, shuddering body with a wide-eyed look. Yes, that face—that impossible face was the face of a comatose man as He often taunted him during their sessions— sat in front of him just told him that this was all just another one of His cruel mind games.

A flash of anger.

A dash of fear.

Then the ridiculous words streamed out of his lips as he pointed a shaking accusing finger angrily, fearfully at the shocked mirage before him.

“I-I am the good doctor,” he started, his voice growing louder to mask the racing, thundering heart attempting to rip itself out of his chest, “and that is my chair!”

“... Henrik?” At that trembling, fragile voice, the mirage shattered and suddenly his baby brother, the one who has always looked up to him like he knew all of the secrets held within this universe… the younger brother who had always, always undervalued his own existence… The baby brother that he so dearly loved was looking up at him, no traces of the impossible man were left behind. “Henrik, is that you?”

And for a second, he allowed his guard to drop, allowing the fragile piece of hope in his chest to wriggle up the surface of his beaten heart.

“Help me,” he begged. His voice was painfully raw and vulnerable as it clawed itself out of his throat.

Then as if he was just a puppet whose cruel puppeteer cut his strings out of nowhere just because he had grown bored of his broken toy, he crumpled forward, all remaining energy in his pathetically weak body dropping to a complete zero, and his legs toppled underneath him. He braced himself to meet the cold unforgiving floor of his cell while his warden cackled at his show of weakness…

But it never came.

Instead, someone caught his body and he was suddenly engulfed in that familiar softness and warmth as two arms gently but firmly wrapped themselves around his bony waist.

“I gotcha… I gotcha big bro. I gotcha,” Henrik closed his eyes and in a fit of broken exhaustion allowed himself to believe in this dream.

“Don’t let this be a dream,” he whimpered. “Don’t… Don’t let me wake up—”

“Shh… It’s not a dream. You’re home. You’ve come home. I promise,” he shuddered at that almost comforting voice and the hand that was stroking the back of his head tenderly. “I’ll still be here when you wake up. I promise.”

Chapped lips were brushed over his forehead and he slipped away into the familiar abyss.

Oh how the good doctor dearly wished that he could remain in this single moment of time rather than face the cruel reality of what was waiting for him the next time he opened his eyes.

#jacksepticeye #writersofjack #chase brody #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye

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fanfic-fangirl · 4 years

Text

Stranded

Chapter 1

Pairing: Hux/OC Reader, Kylo/OC Reader

Takes place right after Episode VIII The Last Jedi

Rating: None for now

Word Count: 7526

Warnings: Swearing, lots of silliness, OOC characters, canon divergent

Summary: Hux & Kylo, having just lost the Battle on Crait, leaving the planet, the encounter some kind of anomaly, the more power they used to try to escape it, the more of a hold it seems to have on the command shuttle. Giving the order to fly into the anomaly, Kylo finds himself waking up in a very unfamiliar bedroom, with a young woman, sitting atop him.

A/N: There aren’t enough Hux stories out there, so, of course, I had to write one! This is meant to be silly and fun!

I’m also testing the waters with this chapter, if there is more interest, I will gladly post future chapters! Also, sorry for any spelling and grammatical errors, there’s only so many times I can proof read my fics,

“Mr. Solo! Mr. Solo, wake up! Come on, you were supposed to be getting ready, not napping.”

Kylo woke up to a woman straddling his waist, her hands on his chest supporting her and a bright smile across her face. He was confused and disoriented. Looking around, he didn't recognize his surroundings. There was light filtering in through a window, he could hear birds outside and feel a breeze rolling over him.

“Morning sunshine.” she said, the smile on her face getting even bigger.

“Come on, get up. We have to leave soon and you,” she said, poking his chest, “need to get dressed.” he watched her get off him, stand up, and offer her hand, that same smile on her lips.

“What did you do to me?” Kylo felt like he was waking up from some kind of drug induced sleep

“You did that all to yourself, Mr. Solo. I'm just doing my job and making sure you stay on schedule. But, if you don't hurry and get dressed, I'm sure Mr. Hux will have plenty to say and I know how you hate his monologing Now, come on, seriously, you need to get up, your fanboys await.” She laughed as she left the room.

Kylo sat up and looked around the room. He recognized nothing, not even the view out the window. Of course, the sun peeking in through said window was the biggest surprise.

“Where am I?” he groaned, swinging his legs off to the side so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Dude, seriously! You gotta get your lazy ass up, Mr. Hux will be here soon to pick you up and if I don't have you ready in time, it's my ass that's gonna get chewed out, not yours.” The woman said, a little more urgently as she came back in and started going through the drawers of the dresser sitting against the wall and pulling out various articles of clothing.

“What's going on? Who are you and where have you brought me?” Kylo asked, getting up to his full height and standing in front of the woman, trying to look as menacing as possible.

“Shit, are you serious right now? Jesus, Mr. Solo, exactly how much did you drink last night?” she asked, rushing over to him and holding his face in her hands, looking him in the eye, a look of pure concern on her face. “You're not running a fever. Oh god! Please don't tell me some crazed fangirl slipped you something last night. The last thing you need right now, is another possible baby scandal! Especially after last weeks incident. I swear Mr. Solo, you act more like a Hollywood celebrity than a New York Times best seller.” the woman sighed, setting his clothes in his attached bathroom.

Kylo was even more confused, but before he could question the young woman further, an all too familiar voice sounded from behind him.

“Is everything all right in here?” Kylo turned to see General Hux enter the room.

“Thank the stars you're here, Mr. Hux! Mr. Solo is claiming to not know where he is or who I am. I'm worried someone slipped him something last night.” Her worried look going from Hux to Kylo, back to Hux again.

“I'm sure it's nothing, my dear.” Hux said, leaning over and giving the woman a kiss on the cheek. Kylo noticed how it lingered just a little longer than was appropriate for acquaintances and how the girls face turned bright red at the attention. “Now, why don't you let me see if I can't refresh his memory.” Hux smiled down at the young woman. Before she left, he added, “and Jade, dear, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? Please, call me Armitage, or Hux, at the very least.” she nodded, embarrassed that he had to keep reminding her to be more familiar with him, then gave one last concerning look to Kylo and left the room, closing the door behind her.

“I was wondering when you'd finally pop in.” Hux sighed, running a finger along the top of the dresser, as if he was inspecting for dirt.

“Hux, what's going on? Where are we? Who is that girl? Is she the one responsible for us being here?” Kylo demanded, surprised at how calm Hux was over their current situation.

“Calm down, she's no threat, no one here is. We're on some planet called Earth and as ridiculous as it sounds, we seem to be in a different reality.” he sighed.

“A different reality?” Kylo scoffs, clearly not believing Hux.

“Yes, like I said, ridiculous, but it's the only thing that makes sense. What's the last thing you remember, before waking up here?” Hux asks, turning to Kylo, his hands behind his back in his standard general pose.

“We had the last of the rebels trapped in an abandoned base on Crait, but they managed to escape. Something happened on the flight back to the fleet.” Kylo struggles to remember, he knows there's something else, but can't recall what it was.

“There's was some kind of anomaly and it seemed to have a hold on the command shuttle. The more power we used, trying to escape, the stronger the pull seemed to be, then you gave the order to turn around and fly into. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a much too comfortable bed, a cat curled at my side and the sun shining in my room.”

“And you managed to stay calm and collected the entire time?” Kylo asked, skeptical the general was as calm about it as he says he was.

“Of course. It's not the first time I've woken up, somewhere I don't belong. I assumed I had been captured, but once I surveyed my surroundings and took in all the information around me, I realized that wasn't the case. My step-mother, had come over to visit, and after feigning a bout of amnesia after a heavy night of drinking, I was able to find out the basics. She claimed I was drugged at one of your parties, suggested I press charges against you, for,” and Hux couldn't help but chuckle at the thought, “reckless endangerment.”

Kylo was more than suspicious of Hux's oddly friendly behavior. It wasn't like him, they've never had a civil conversation in the entire time they've known each other. He's wasn't sure if he'd ever seen Hux give a genuine smile, let alone laugh at something.

“You're acting...... strange.” Kylo said cautiously, not sure what to make of Hux's odd behavior.

“I've been here for nine months, there's no war to bring order to the galaxy. No Snoke. My father is dead, and my step-mother here is more pleasant then the one from my childhood, though they are the same woman. I'm not in charge of an entire fleet of battle cruisers, I have no expectations to live up to. Making sure your books are released on time, is really my only responsibility. Compared to being General of the First Order, it's virtually stress free, so of course I'm going to be different.” Hux huffed, irritated that he had to explain his behavior.

“Then, what about me?” Kylo asked, a little enticed by the idea of a virtually stress free life.

“You are Ben Solo, a science-fiction writer and I'm Armitage Hux, your publicist and public relations manager. That lovely, young woman is Jade Dameron, your personal assistant and quite the little spitfire, I might add, though she can be quite shy and timid at times.” Hux smirked, looking towards the door, where the woman had left. “You're personality is pretty much the same. The public refers to you as a male diva of sorts. You throw lavish parties, you've been in rehab twice for alcoholism. The party you threw last night was, ironically, to celebrate your successful release from rehab, which, to no surprise, you got drunk at. Honestly, I'm not sure which version of you I like better. The alcoholic party boy, or the tantrum throwing Force wielder.” Hux sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Why can't I feel the Force?” Kylo asked, realizing, as Hux mentioned it, he hadn't felt it since he woke up. He sat back on the bed and stared at his hands, waiting for Hux to answer, while trying to digest everything he'd just been told.

“Because, the Force doesn't exist here, only in the books you and your mother have written. Which, are quite interesting and all too familiar. It's a series called Star Wars and is quite popular. There's movies, toys, cartoons, graphic novels and quite the impressive fan following. Which reminds me, your adoring public awaits, so please, get dressed and I will explain everything I know so far.” Hux said, walking around the room, looking at the photos that were placed on a book shelf along one of the walls.

Kylo did as Hux asked with no argument, much to Hux's surprise and relief. Hux did tell him more about his lifestyle and the Star Wars series, which his mother was responsible for starting, and he was now continuing. When asked about the books he had written, Hux said he would explain it all after the book signing, and to remember to sign his name as Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren.

“I will also warn you, people who used to be your enemy, are now some of your closest friends and family members. Most notably, the scavenger girl, Rey, she's your cousin, Luke Skywalker's adopted daughter, apparently.”

“Did you say that girl's last name was Dameron?” Kylo asked, the familiarity of her name, finally sinking in, Hux couldn't suppress a chuckle.

“Yes, younger sister to Poe Dameron and Rey's best friend. Dameron works for your father and your mother convinced you to hire his little sister to help keep your schedule straight. From what I've gathered, hiring her is the second best thing you've done since writing your first novel.” Hux sighed, turning around to look at Kylo as he walked out of his bathroom.

“What's my relationship like with my parents?” Kylo couldn't help but ask after the mention of his father and since Hux didn't say anything about them while explaining his current lifestyle.

“Normal, though you are some what of a mama's boy, as they say.” Hux smirked at Kylo when he glared. “You're close with your mother, though not as close as you were before your first stint in rehab, but you do still try have lunch at least once a week with her.”

“And my father?”

“You get along, again, it was better before rehab, you've never been as close to him as you are with your mother. Apparently, he wanted you to follow in his footsteps and become a pilot, but, you followed in your mother's footsteps, and became a writer instead. You also have a healthy relationship with Skywalker and the scavenger girl. All in all, a relatively normal family, who get along and like each other. So, I suggest you try not to act too much like yourself.”

“What about my assistant?” Kylo asked, choosing to ignore that snide, little comment.

“What about her?” Hux almost growled, it was like he remembered not to sound to accusatory in his reply, while he was answering. Hux was quickly growing fond of the woman, had even taken her out to lunch a few times, just the two of them.

“How is my relationship with her?” Kylo smirked, seeing the irritation on Hux's face and all to eager to irritate Hux.

“Professional, for the most part. You don't seem to like or dislike her, for that matter. You barely give her the time of day and more often than not, are quite short with her. You only listen when she's telling you about your schedule, or something else relating to your work. You only hired her as a favor to your mother, which you constantly remind her of when she does something not up to your ridiculous standards. I don't know how many times I've had to stop you from trying to fire her over the most ridiculous of things.” Hux huffed, he was trying not to grow agitated with Kylo's questions about her, but, he couldn't deny his attachment to the woman, and wanted to discourage Kylo from trying to get to know her as subtly as possible.

“She seems to like me.” Hux did not like the Cheshire grin, Kylo was giving him.

“That's because she likes everybody.” Hux scoffed.

“She seemed to really like my body this morning when she was straddling it.” Hux scoffed, knowing exactly what Kylo was trying to do.

“You seem to be handling this all a little too well.” Hux glared suspiciously, as he deflected their conversation away from Jade. He had expected Kylo to throw one of his tantrums and start destroying the room, which is why he sent Jade away.

“I handle everything well.” Kylo hisses back, to which Hux just scoffs.

“If you consider destroying control panels, handling things well.”

Kylo was about to retort, but was stopped by a knock on his door, before Jade entered.

“Mr. Hux, Mrs. Solo is here.” she said, her tone still tinged with worry. Then she looked at Kylo and groaned, apparently forgetting she was worried about him in the first place. “Mr. Hux, you were supposed to make sure he finished getting ready, not just dressed.” Hux couldn't stop the affectionate smile he gave her.

“Sorry, I was questioning him about what happened last night.”

“No possible baby scandal?” She asked, looking at Hux, eyebrows raised as she bit her bottom lip.

“No possible baby scandal. For once, he kept it in his pants and returned alone.” Hux chuckled, never taking his eyes off her.

“Thank the stars.” She sighed in relief. “I'll make sure he finishes getting ready, but Mrs. Solo is asking for you.” She entered the room and held the door open for Hux, as he made his way to exit.

“Thank you, Ms. Jade, we'll meet you both downstairs.” Hux stopped next next to her before completely exiting and bent down to whisper in her ear, “I'll save you a seat, right next to me.” Seeing the intense blush bloom across her face, gave Hux the biggest smile, flustering her had quickly become his favorite thing to do.

Jade was pulled back to her senses when she heard the door click behind her. Then she looked at Kylo and groaned again.

“Mr. Solo, you are not wearing the shirt you partied then slept in last night to this book signing.” she said as she walked over to him, then leaned in and smelled him. “And you really need to put on some deodorant and cologne, you reek of alcohol! Come on, into the bathroom with you.” Kylo tried to protest when she got behind him and started pushing him into the bathroom.

“I can walk myself!” he barked, jerking away and glaring down at her.

“Then do it, and I won't have to push you.” she bit back, again, pushing him towards the bathroom. “I'm sorry Mr. Solo, but we don't have time for me to put up with your diva shit this morning. Now pee.” She ordered, turning and busying herself with things at the sink.

“I can't go with you in here!” he snapped.

“It's never stopped you before, why so shy now?” she said, not even bothering to look at him, finished with what she was doing, she turned back to him and looked at the toilet, expectantly.

“For fuck's sake, Mr. Solo, either you go now, or you go in a bottle in the car. You haven't been late to a single thing since you hired me, and we sure as hell aren't going to start today! Now either piss, or get over here and brush your teeth, so I can brush your hair!” she ordered and Kylo was starting to understand why Hux liked her. He was also starting to think something had possessed her after Hux left the room, since this was the complete opposite of the girl that woke him up and definitely, not the girl who had just been blushing over what Hux whispered to her.

“Fine.” Kylo growled, walking to stand at the sink, and started brushing his teeth. Jade pulled out her little step ladder and set it up, grabbed the brush that was on the counter, climbed up, so she was just a few inches taller than Kylo and proceeded to brush the knots out of his hair.

“OW!” he snapped, when the brush snagged a knot and she tried to pull it through.

“Shut up and brush your damn teeth.” she snapped back. “We're running short on time.”

Kylo finished his brushing the same time she did, with only a few more uncomfortable tugs. He then, washed his face, after being told, while she put the stool away.

“Now take that damn shirt off, put your deodorant on and come out when you're done.” she said, walking out to the bedroom.

Angry and humiliated, Kylo slammed the door and locked it. He took the opportunity to urinate, before doing what he was told.

“I hope you washed your hands after touching that dirty thing!” she yelled, from somewhere in the room, when he opened the bathroom door. He was beginning to understand why he would want to fire her.

After washing his hands, he walked into the bedroom, seeing her standing by his bed, holding a shirt up, with that same smile she woke up him up with.

“I thought about it a little more and I think this shirt over this t shirt,” she said, holding up said shirt with her other hand, “will be a much more appropriate combo for the signing. This is just a small signing at Luke's bookstore, I think it's best if we do a more casual look. Besides the ladies love a casually dressed Ben Solo.” she teased, then pushed the two articles of clothing in his hands and went through another door, which he assumed was his closet.

He looked at the t-shirt, which said, “Join the dark side, we have cookies”, he was quite offended and was about to yell at her and refuse to wear it, when she walked out of the closet and saw him just standing there. He was frozen in place by the glare she was giving him and he had never been more thankful that looks couldn't kill, in his entire life. Her calm and level voice gave him chills when she spoke to him.

“Mr. Solo. If you do not put those on, right now, we are going to have a problem.”

Kylo could have sworn he saw her eyes flash yellow, for just a second. Not wanting to test Hux's theory, of the Force not existing in this reality, he swallowed the lump in his throat and got dressed. Then quickly put on his socks and shoes while she busied herself gathering, what Kylo assumed, were random items and placing them in a bag. Once she was done, she turned to him and smiled, seeing him ready to go.

“Alright, lets go! Mr. Hux and Mrs. Solo are waiting for us downstairs, with the car.”

Kylo followed her out of the room, into what looked like his living room, then into a hallway and to an elevator.

“Now remember, you're not allowed to answer any questions about the film adaptation of your first book and no hints about the third book. The publishing company doesn't want you to risk someone stealing any of your ideas and claiming that you copied them. You're having lunch with your mom after the signing, I've already made reservations at the usual place under your usual pseudo-name. Then after lunch, you have a conference call with the publishing firm about a few international book signings they want you to do. Then you have a dinner date with some unknown actress, you met at last night's party. I don't remember her name, I'll have to check the schedule to see what it is.” Kylo just stared at her like she had two heads. He had no idea what she was talking about. He would have to find out from Hux later.

They exited the elevator and walked through the lobby in silence. His mind still reeling with everything that was going on, and how did Hux expect him to get through this book signing? He'd never done anything like that before, and he hated crowds. They made him nervous, especially without being able to use the Force to scan the crowd for possible rebel threats. Then he had to remind himself, that there were no rebel threats here. Hux gave him the impression that they led a peaceful life, no warring, no fighting. No purpose.

“See, Armitage, I told you she'd have him down here on time.” Leia said, seeing Kylo and Jade exit the building and walk over to the car.

“You're right, Mrs. Solo, I never should have doubted her.” Hux smiled at Jade.

“Armitage, you've been friends with my son for how many years now? You're practically family, now please, call me Leia. Mrs. Solo always makes me feel so old.” She laughed.

Kylo was frozen to the spot, it had been years since he'd seen his mother and he wasn't sure he'd ever seen her smile like that. He didn't want to move, didn't want to look away. He was afraid if he did, he'd wake up back on the Finnalizer or some other star destroyer and realize this had all been a dream.

“I've missed you, Ben.” She beamed, walking over to him with open arms and embracing him. “Let me get a good look at you.” she said, stepping back and placing her hands on his cheeks, then to his shoulders as she looked him over.

“I've missed you too. I'm so sorry, mom!” he couldn't help himself, he wrapped his arms around her and held her as tight as he could. Hux and Jade just looked at each other with wide eyes, surprise, not being a strong enough word to describe what they were seeing.

Kylo was overwhelmed with his emotions. Without Snoke and the Force to guide him, he didn't know how to resolve what he was feeling. Without Snoke, his chest felt lighter, he didn't feel all the hate and anger that usually flowed through him with the Force. It was oddly freeing.

Leia returned Kylo's embrace, one hand wrapped around his back, the other on his head.

“I'm glad you're home.” Leia said said, releasing Kylo and creating some distance between them.

“I'm sorry to interrupt,” Jade said in gentle tone.

“Then don't!” Kylo snapped, causing Jade to flinch back and stare at the ground.

“Ben!” Leia chastised, “You don't need to snap at her like that. She's only doing her job and trying to keep you on schedule.”

“Let's just go.” Kylo grumbled, refusing to apologize to his bossy assistant.

***

It didn't take them long to reach Luke's bookstore and Kylo couldn't believe the line of people standing outside of it.

“They're all here to see you.” Hux said, seeing Kylo stare at all the people.

“Finn, can you pull around back and let us off there? I think it's best if we go in through the back.” Jade said.

“You got it!” Kylo looked up to see Finn smiling back at them from the rear view mirror. “Good to see you again, Ben.” he nodded, Kylo mirrored the greeting.

Finn pulled around to the backside of the building, glad there weren't any fans lurking about.

“Looks like Rey was able to keep the fans from lurking behind the store. Speaking of the devil.” Finn laughed when he saw Rey come running towards them.

Jade was the first one out, she didn't even give Finn a chance to get out of his seat before she was opening the door and running over to greet Rey.

“Rey!” she yelled, running to her friend.

“Jade!” Rey laughed, as they embraced.

“I've missed you! We don't get to hang out nearly as much as we should.” Jade said, giving her friend a fake pout.

“That's because your boss is an incapable asshole, who can't comb his own hair without you.” Rey teased, loud enough to make sure Kylo heard as he stepped out of the car.

“Well, you're not wrong there.” Jade giggled in a whisper to her friend.

“Rey, always nice to see you.” Hux smiled, walking up to the pair. He had only recently started to warm up to the woman he had known as the scavenger girl, the Jedi of the resistance and a thorn in the side of the First Order. But here, she was simply Rey Skywalker, future owner of Skywalker books.

It was only within the last few weeks that he was starting to let his guard down and warm up to the group of people who had once been his mortal enemies. He was finding his new life, much more to his liking, than he would have, originally thought. Without the war, he found, they were all very likable.

“Hey Hux, still as stuffy as always, I see.” Rey teased, giving his arm a playful slap. “You should find someone to take that stick out of your ass, you might find you don't stand quite so stiff.” she laughed, before running off to greet her aunt and cousin.

“I think she's been spending too much time with your brother and her uncle.” Hux sighed, even though he was getting used to her occasional crude teasing, it never failed to embarrass him in front of Jade. Which he was almost positive, is the reason she did it.

“Aunty!” Rey yelled, greeting Leia before embracing her in a hug.

“Hello, Rey.” Leia chuckled, returning the hug. “Dad didn't tell me you were gonna be here. OH!” she gasped, “Is this a double signing!? OHMYGAWD! The fans are going to freak!”

“It is. I talked to him a few weeks ago about it, we agreed to keep it a surprise, since his store can't handle all the people that would likely show up for that.” Leia chuckled, not surprised at all, that her niece had come to the conclusion so quickly.

“I was wondering why you picked us up today.” Jade smirked as she and Hux walked over to Leia and Rey.

“I wish I would have known, I would have made sure we extra copies of your book as well.” Hux sighed.

“Don't worry, I took care of it.” Leia said.

“Hey Ben, nice to see you back with the land of the sober. You gonna stay this time or should we just go ahead and tell them to keep your room ready?” Rey said, crossing her arms across her chest, giving her cousin, a less then warm welcome.

“Rey!” Jade hissed. “Cut him some slack, he just got back the other day.

“Give me a break! He threw a huge party last night to 'celebrate' his recovery. Judging by the pictures I saw on Instagram this morning, he was tossing them back like he was a thirsty man in a desert.”

“I think you're being a little to hard on him, Rey.” Leia said, putting her arm around the woman's shoulder and guiding her back towards the bookstore.

“I don't think it's hard enough. Aunt Leia, he needs a wake up call.” Rey argued.

“That may be, but you can't force one on him.” Rey just sighed, knowing Leia was right, to which, Leia whispered, “Though, I think he may have gotten it this time. He was different this morning, less stand offish. He didn't try to push me away, in fact, he gave me a hug. He hasn't hugged me like that since he was a child.”

Rey just looked at her as if her head had just popped off, then took a quick glance back at Kylo, to see him following Jade and Hux, his hands in his pockets and the same scowl as always. She decided she would have to keep a closer eye on him and judge for herself.

The group walked into the back room of the book store and were greeted by Luke.

“What in the world are you wearing, Mr. Skywalker!” Jade laughed when she saw him. Kylo had to fight the urge to attack him, the memories of the night he was almost murdered, flooding back to him.

“They're Jedi robes. Rey take Jade, so you can both go put yours on.” Luke smiled, turning to his daughter.

“You got me my own Jedi robes!?” she squealed, throwing herself at Luke and practically choking him with her hug. “You're the best, Mr. Skywalker!” Luke laughed as he watched the pair run off.

“I think you spoil them a little too much.” Leia laughed.

“No such thing, when it comes to those two.” Once the girls had left, he turned to the trio left behind. “Hux, I got an extra set, just in case you wanted to join in the fun.”

“That's quite all right, but thank you, Mr. Skywalker.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, call Me Luke. Mr. Skywalker was my dad.” Luke winked.

“You'll probably have to remind me a few more times.” he said, giving Luke a polite smile.

Kylo was practically disgusted with the way Hux was interacting with his uncle. Like they were friends, and he hadn't spent the last, almost decade, hunting him down under Snoke's orders. Kylo was finding it harder and harder to control the anger and hatred he felt for his uncle. He wanted to reach out with the Force and strangle him, or better yet, strangle him with his bare hands, so he could feel the life draining from him.

“Thanks for doing this Ben. It means a lot to Rey and me, especially after the way I handled things.” Luke said, his attention on Kylo, seeing him practically seething in anger.

“Luke, you don't....”

“No Leia, I do.” Luke said, not letting his sister interrupt him. “Ben, I owe you an apology. Not for calling the cops and turning you in, I don't regret that at all. But for the way I handled the situation.”

“I think this might be better talked about after the signing.” Hux said, seeing Kylo's rage and not wanting to escalate the situation any further. He then pulled Kylo to the side and whispered, “Remember, he isn't the same as the Skywalker you know. You need to calm down before you cause a scene and make things more difficult. Just remember, they may have their faces, but these are not the people we know. These are not members of the resistance and he is not the Jedi Master you knew.”

Before Kylo could say anything, his attention went to Rey and Jade, laughing and swinging, what looked like, light sabers.

“Dad, you didn't tell me you got us light sabers!”

“That's because it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you.” he laughed, walking over to the pair.

“Thank you so much, dad!” Rey said, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Yes, thank you Mr. Skywalker, you didn't have to.”

“Nonsense! Of course I did, you can't be Jedi without light sabers, can you.” He smiled. He loved spoiling the two girls more than anything and always found that he could never tell them no.

“No, but, who are the extra set of robes for?” Jade asked.

“I got them, hoping Hux would join in the fun.” He said, flashing a mischievous smile over at Hux.

“Really!?” Jade was giddy at the thought of having another person dress up with them. Hux felt like a deer caught in the headlights, when she turned and smiled at him.

“Oh, um, no, it's alright. I think I'll just stick with my suit.” He said, trying to sound as calm and collected as he always was.

“What? No! Come on, please!” Jade whined. “It's more fun with more people.”

“Yea, Hux! Come on, don't make dad the only guy Jedi.” Rey begged.

“Come on, Hux, you're not gonna leave Padawan Jade without a master, are you?” Luke teased.

“That's perfect, dad! I can be your Padawan and Jade can be Hux's!”

“I think Ben, would suit the role better.” Hux said, giving a nervous chuckle and not seeing the glare Kylo shot at him.

“He'll be too busy signing, plus, he doesn't like to do stuff like that. Please Mr. Hux!” Jade knew she sounded like a child, but she didn't care. She had always loved the Star Wars series and any chance she had to fangirl, she took it and she was always happy to take others with her.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Hux knew he had been defeated. After all, how could he tell her no, she was just too adorable when she looked up at him with those big doe eyes, and pouty lips.

“Alright, alright, you win, on one condition.” He said, quickly silencing whatever happy noise her and Rey were about to make. “You are not allowed to call me Mr. Hux for the rest of the day.

“Of course not, Master Armitage.” Oh, the things that did to him! He was suddenly, very glad he would be wearing loose fitting robes.

“Come on, I'll show you where you can change and Jade, we can put Padawan braids in our hair, while he's changing.” Rey said, leading Hux and Jade back to Luke's office, where the extra set of robes were.

This left Luke, Leia and Kylo, standing alone in the stock room. All of them feeling suddenly very awkward and Kylo, trying to control his anger.

“We've cleared a spot for the signing, the books are already set up. By the time they get to you, they will have already paid. Leia, I know you love to talk with your fans, but, there's gonna be a lot of people here and we want to try to get through as many of them as possible. And Ben,” Luke said, turning to his nephew, a teasing smile crossing his lips, “don't be afraid to smile at more than just the ones with a pretty face.” Kylo just rolled his eyes, and followed them to where he would be signing this book Ben Solo had written.

“Ben, I know you don't like crowds and large groups of people and Jade was very adamant that we accommodate that.” He said, stopping in front of a table with a Star Wars backdrop. It was near the front door, on the other side of the cash register.

“Meaning, she wouldn't agree to the signing unless, you did it.” Leia chuckled, shaking her head. She knew Ben hiring her would make his life a lot easier, and she was grateful the young woman was looking out for her son.

“Needless to say, even though the store will be overcrowded with your devoted fans, we've blocked off a nice open section, so you don't feel overwhelmed, and it has easy access to my office if you do start to feel overwhelmed and need a minute to breath.” Luke smiled.

Kylo wasn't sure how to feel about their consideration for his dislike of large groups. He looked at the boxes full of books, then at the line standing outside the store. He was starting to feel nervous. He didn't know who this Ben Solo was, or what these Star Wars books were about, so how could he interact with these people and be convincing. His anger was starting to feel more like panic.

* * *

“I look ridiculous.” Hux groaned as they joined the others. He thought it rather ironic, that he loathed the Jedi and tried to eliminate them, but, here he was, willing to dress up as one, for a pretty face. He was not thrilled to think about what Kylo would say about it later.

“No you don't, you look great! Doesn't he look great, Mr. Solo.” Jade said, her smile quickly fading when she saw the look of panic on Kylo's face. “Mr. Solo? Are you feeling ok?” She asked.

“I need to talk to you!” Kylo said, quickly grabbing Hux's arm and rushing off to the store room.

“Stay here, we'll be right back.” Hux said quickly, when he saw Jade try to follow them. He gave her a reassuring smile, when she stopped and nodded.

“I can't do this, Hux! I'm not this Ben Solo, I didn't write these stupid books!”

“You need to pull yourself together!” Hux snapped. “Do you know what will happen to you if you start spouting off that you're really Kylo Ren, that you killed Ben Solo to follow in your grandfather, Darth Vader's footsteps. To conquer the galaxy and bring peace and order, alongside with the First Order?” Hux gave Kylo a minute to absorb his words before continuing. “They'll think you've finally lost it and have you committed!” Staring at Kylo, not sure if what he was saying was sinking in, he sighed, then opened one of the nearby boxes and pulled out a book.

“Read the back of it.” he said, handing the book to Kylo.

“I don't see how this is going to help.” Kylo tried to argue, but Hux just shoved the book against his chest.

“Read the back of the damn book!” Hux hissed.

Reluctantly, Kylo did, his eyes only getting wider as he read the synopsis. The confused look on his face, said it all.

“In this world, our lives are a story. You're mother started them, she wrote the first six books, then passed the mantle to Ben Solo, you, to continue. Ben Solo based all the characters after people he knew, even gave them their names. This is the first book, the second book details everything that happened until you and I wake up here, minus the space anomaly that brought us here. So, yes, you are Ben Solo and you know exactly what these, damned books are about. We will get through this signing, and I will have Jade clear your schedule for the rest of the day.”

“I can't do this!”

“You can and you will! I have worked too hard the last nine months to fit in and to be prepared if you ever showed up and I will NOT! Let you ruin everything I have done!” Hux was letting his anger get the better of him, but he wasn't about to let Kylo invalidate everything he's endured since he woke up on this world. There was no way he was going to let Kylo ruin the lives they had.

“Now, you are going to stop acting like a spoiled child! You are going to suck it up! And you are going to go out there, smile at your fans and sign those BLOODY BOOKS!” Hux was panting now, he was so angry with Kylo, and with no Force or Snoke for Kylo to fall back on, Hux felt free to let loose his anger loose. And, damn! Did it feel good!

“Is everything ok, back here?” Jade asked, poking her head through the door. “I heard yelling.”

“Everything is fine.” Hux said, taking a deep breath, before straightening out his robes and fixing his hair.

“Are you sure?” she asked, looking between Hux and Kylo.

“He said, it's fine!” Kylo snapped, then stormed out of the backroom.

“Ben was just having second thoughts about today, that's all. He thought it might be too soon after his release from rehab.”

“But, he had that huge party last night, and he was ok with it yesterday.”

“I know, it doesn't make much sense to me either. In the mean time, I'd like you to clear his schedule for the rest of the day, including his date tonight. In fact, cancel all his dates this week, move the consultation about the book tour to tomorrow afternoon. Does he have anything important on his schedule for tomorrow?” Hux asked.

Jade pulled out her phone and began to check Kylo's schedule for the rest of the week.

“No, in fact, everything this week can be rescheduled or canceled.” She said.

“Then do it, but keep the the luncheons with his mother and add a family dinner night. Schedule the family dinner on a night when you'll be able to join us.”

“Of course! Is there any night that doesn't work for you?” she asked, waiting as Hux pulled out his phone and checked his own schedule.

“I will start having Mitaka forward my schedules to you. I have a feeling Ben is going to be taking up a lot more of my time.” he sighed, looking over his weekly schedule. “My evenings are free all this week. Let me know which night it is and forward it to Mitaka as well.” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose, now that Kylo was here, he knew his life was going to get a lot more complicated. With as stubborn as Kylo is, he knows he's going to be reluctant to accept this life and make things as difficult as possible.

“Hey, we could really use your guys' help out there.” Rey said.

“We'll be there in a minute.” Jade said, nodding to her friend, then turning back to Hux. “I'll talk to Mrs. Solo and see when a good night is, but I'm pretty sure she'll try to insist on every night.” she giggled. With the added stress of Kylo's appearance, Hux found himself even more thankful for her presence.

“Once the signing is done, why don't you take the rest of the day off, spend it with Luke and Rey.”

“What! No! Mr. Hux....”

“Ah, ah, ah, what did I say about calling me Mr. Hux, today.”

“Right, sorry. But...... Armitage.......” she hesitated, his name sounding odd coming from her lips. “I'm his assistant, I should be there to help him.”

“Nonsense. I think what Ben needs, is a good one-on-one with an old friend. I can always meet up with you later and fill you in, if you'd like.” Hux couldn't help but offer to meet up with her, he loved any alone time he got to spend with her.

“Are you sure?” She asked, clearly concerned oabout taking the rest of the day off.

“Absolutely. I know it's been a while since you and Rey have spent time together and we're already here. The both of you are all dressed up and I know how much you love the books.” He smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Yea.” Hux loved her sheepish smiles, especially when he knew she was pretending to not be embarrassed.

“Then it's settled, I will take Ben back to his apartment and you will spend the rest of the day here, what is it you say?”

“Amongst my own people.” she giggled.

“Yes, then I will meet with you later, fill you in on Ben's situation.”

“I don't know. I still feel like I'm pawning him off on you.”

“Nonsense.” Then, remembering the way they were both dressed, he got an idea. “Your Jedi Master, commands that you take the rest of the day off and spend it with your friends. I'm sure Master Luke won't mind having you under his tutelage for one day.” Hux had never felt more like a fool, than he did right then. But, if it made her smile, he'd play the fool everyday.

“Thank you, Armitage, you're the best!” she said, wrapping her arms around Hux's chest and giving him a hug.

“Yes, yes, young Padawan. Now, come, they require our help.” Kriff, He was such an idiot!

#star wars fan fiction #armitage hux #kylo ren #hux/reader #kylo/reader

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cookiefonster666 · 5 years

Text

Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues (Tumblr Edition)

I predicted the future!

Might as well adapt this Blogspot post I made about a week ago into Tumblr form, why not. With a few minor changes. I don’t like using Tumblr but I figure it’s a good additional platform to share my surprisingly positive views on the Homestuck Epilogues.

The epilogues have a lot of controversial content, most of which I avoid talking about here.

BRIEF SUMMARY

4/20, read through Meat: epilogues pretty good

4/20, started Candy: what the fuck

4/21, stopped: aaaaaaaaughhhhh bluh i hate everything

4/24-ish, continued Candy: epilogues alright i guess also i am sad now

4/27-ish, finished: I LOVE HOMESTUCK

BRIEF-ISH SUMMARY

Meat was a wild ride that started as cool plot stuff and things that make you go "OH FUCK", continued as basically chapters 7-9 of Detective Pony (which I naturally enjoyed a lot), and ended as a mess of sheer chaos and destruction. My thought process ended as, "oh duh, this is the bad ending, candy must be the good ending". I was in for quite the nasty surprise.

I quit reading Candy just a few pages in. It didn't take long for it to suddenly become the weirdest fanfiction ever. Frustrated, I started skipping and searching through later parts and got rather salty when it turned out both sides were the "bad ending". I saw firsthand what vfromhomestuck meant by "clear your whole week": this is not something most people can just read in one sitting. Then I recovered a few days and read Candy in earnest, in a somewhat anachronous order and with many parts read multiple times. Slowly, I started to hope that the epilogues would be followed up with a true happy ending for real this time. I may or may not have written a snippet of some form of fanfiction paving the way for a happy ending.

Once I finally accomplished the equivalent of reading Candy as intended, I got hit HARD with feels. I accepted that the epilogues have many issues but as a whole (not just the sum of parts) are an absolute masterwork, sometimes because of those issues. It didn't take me long to realize the brilliant duality either. Meat is a side-splitting metafictional farce that (for me at least) is impossible to treat as anything resembling a story of people doing things. Candy is a tale of FEELS, and I don't use the word FEELS lightly. FEELS means I almost cried, like I did when I watched the Futurama episode Luck of the Fryrish.

DETECTIVE PONY AND METAFICTION

Before I move on and talk about the CHARACTERS, I'm going to discuss the meat epilogue's resemblance to sonnetstuck's Detective Pony. I love everything about Detective Pony, more than almost anything else in existence. My abnormal love for that godlike fanwork probably skewed my perception of Meat a bit. Starting from page 17, Dirk takes over the narration then fights over it with god tier Calliope; both do rather questionable deeds and Dirk was hit hard by fans as a result. Seeing other fans react towards that character with such hostility gave me a very distinct feeling of "what, am I missing something?" Dirk's takeover felt like a lengthy work of comedy to me; a story that never strips away from the fact that it's fiction, in a vein near identical to that of Detective Pony. I like to think I am in the right for perceiving that arc this way, because I think everyone who has read Homestuck should read Detective Pony. One of the epilogue authors read Detective Pony after writing the epilogues and was struck by it; I take this accidental mirroring of (post-)canon as proof that sonnetstuck understands Hussie's ways through and through. I like to think I have a solid understanding of Hussie's ways by now, but this guy is on a whole new level.

That said, the meat epilogue gets a bit carried away with metafiction to the point of making me think, "god when will things go back to normal". Towards the end of Detective Pony, Dirk goes through an existential crisis followed by a powerful revelation, and then resolves to do whatever it takes to erase his abominable creation. But the meat epilogue ends with (both figurative and literal) crashing and burning; no ultimate redemption for our poor Strider. Homestuck doesn't usually have much of a problem with getting carried away with stupid nonsense; maybe a few rare occasions in cases like Hussie's self-insert scenes. But getting carried away is a major criticism I have with cool and new web comic. I love that comic to death, but the parts that take a long time to dwell on the cool and new characters being creepy or weird are a chore to go through. o (the author of CaNWC) seems to have improved in that regard; the cool and new trolls' arc is much more to-the-point with such nonsense.

Meat getting carried away with metafiction is a major cause of my initial burnout shortly after starting Candy. I was sick of this mass dump of metafiction and expected Candy to be a refreshing change of pace. Haha, if only. My fault for reading Meat first. At night I sometimes ponder in envy of the parallel universe me that started with Candy. Actually I don't do that, I just thought it was a funny thing to say. Though I have on more than a few occasions sat in bed fantasizing about how awesome my life probably is in some parallel universe. What point was I making again? Oh whatever, it doesn't matter. I guess I should write a similar overview of Candy's narrative nature. Here goes:

LUCK OF THE FRYRISH AND SADSTUCK

Sad things are sad.

^ There, that's my candy overview. How hard was that?

With the two summaries out of the way, I figure the best way to dump out my residual thoughts on the epilogues is going character by character. I won't do every character, mostly just the ones who played large roles and were already characters in Homestuck proper. I'm sorting these characters in tiers of how well I think the epilogues handle them, mostly from worst to best.

N-TIER

N is not the lowest tier; it's the tier that cannot be ranked. N stands for two things here: "Not Applicable" and "Narrators". Naturally enough, two characters fit into that tier.

Dirk Strider: I've already talked about this guy quite a bit. I have a fondness for Dirk's character and I think his dialogue and narration in meat do a good job portraying some ascended, ultimate version of his character without straying from his voice, the tone that makes him Dirk. That said, I'm a bit peeved that "normal Dirk", the one iteration of Dirk Strider that isn't total bonkers and just wants his friends to be happy, doesn't exist in this story. In Candy, Rose suddenly loses the memories of her alternate selves, but for some reason Dirk keeps those memories and soon after commits suicide; he's left out of the picture until Candy's postscript, which I guess is a reasonable balance considering his indulgence throughout Meat. But why is only one of the succulently verbose Strilondes let off the hook? Some readers imagine Dave as the comic's protagonist and Dirk as the antagonist; I've toyed with that idea myself and can see it symbolized, but it just feels so wrong to me. Maybe the authors did too good a job writing Dirk for me to be complacent with such a shift in role. His conversations with Rose were just as delightful as I had hoped and they aren't weighed down too much in light of his shift in role, at least not for me.

Alt Calliope: The narrative rival to Dirk, as I mentioned previously. I'm not totally sure what to say about her, other than that one could see her as a counterpart to let's say Anna Harley; a necessary piece in the Detective Pony analogy. Alt Calliope's narrative arguments with Dirk were hilarious and that's all there is to say on the matter.

G-TIER

I'm lucky Gamzee's name starts with a G, because this means I can give him a tier of his own worse than F. As an individual arc that is; he'd get a much higher rating when taken as part of a whole.

Gamzee Makara: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I despised reading every word that came out of this guy's mouth as soon as his """redemption arc""" started. But I can clearly tell that was the point and that the suffering that is reading his words has a much greater purpose. Before you deem me a masochist or the kind that insists everything is "bad on purpose", know that I am neither of those things but really do mean what I say here. Gamzee's role in Candy draws tension between individuality and the whole. Reading this guy's hogwash is suffering in and of itself, but ultimately it serves a role of showing us how fucked up the world of Candy is and helps the reader experience John's existential crisis with him.

F-TIER

As before, these tiers are strictly about character arcs in isolation and not the big picture. This tier is home to none other than the legendary...

Jane Crocker: Boy did I predict the future on that one. A bit like Dirk, I would've liked it more if in only one epilogue did sweet innocent little Jane become such a monster. No way in hell am I going to run through the asshole things she does; it's a load of sensitive topics I'm not comfortable discussing in any capacity. Instead, I'll say that if I had to choose only one epilogue where Jane ran through her crazy presidential campaign it would be Candy; as with Gamzee's arc, this campaign serves well as a part of John's existential crisis. What's weird here is that in Candy she originally cancelled all this, but later ended up basically doing it anyway with Dirk gone. I can imagine Jane going back to normal in Meat, maybe? Or in the hypothetical "true ending" I discussed prior.

D-TIER

Better known as "meh" tier. Mostly the characters that don't do much and I wished did more.

Meenah Peixes: Needed more screen time, god damn it. She survives the Furthest Ring apocalypse, nabs the Ring of Life, then makes her way to Candy Earth and joins Karkat in the rebellion. Maybe it makes sense that her and Karkat teaming up in war is relegated to the background, to show how far the shouty guy has come in comparison to everyone else. I'll come back to this point when I talked about Karkat.

Roxy Lalonde: Doesn't do too much in either side, but does go through some touchy topics I'm not sure what to think about; I'm most certainly not ready to talk about those topics now. And regardless, Roxy's role in the epilogues is better discussed when I talk about John and Terezi a few tiers up.

Calliope: Doesn't do all that much either, full circle to being the exposition alien with mysterious morality. I'm actually pretty OK with that. Certainly beats out the slog of endless "ur pretty" conversations. Calliope pretty much fades into the background on both sides, which is sad but fitting.

(About pronouns: I'll keep referring to Roxy and Calliope as "she" unless I find reason to talk about the little those two do in Meat. I just avoided using pronouns in those paragraphs above.)

C-TIER

Better known as "meh" tier, but with a more positive "meh" than before. It's the "meh" that indicates lukewarm satisfaction rather than annoyance at mediocrity.

Jade Harley: Really should be on a lower tier, because she did dick squat other than being horny and painfully oblivious to all the nonsense going on. But I'm a sucker for Jade being "Jade" and was happy to see even a trace of that early in Meat. As before, I'll avoid the controversial topics surrounding Jade in the epilogues, aside from pointing out that this post reads very different now.

Karkat Vantas: This guy's a bit of an odd spot. His leadership role is addressed in the absolute last way I expected. Could've gotten more attention from the story I suppose, but damn if his character arc didn't get the most triumphant return imaginable.

Kanaya Maryam: I touched upon Rose and Kanaya's relationship when I discussed the "buddy system" in my first epilogues post and I still stand by what I said there. Her strong attachment to Rose is integrated well into Meat without seeming like fluff or defining her entire character, because she actually does other things there too. In Candy they remain a stable happy relationship and I guess I'm cool with that.

Aradia Megido: Role is the same as ever and I'm fine with that. Death fangirl who works for predestination and has ambiguous morality. Her arc with alt Calliope ends with a cliffhanger that is easily the biggest reason to hope for a follow-up to the epilogues; if such a follow-up were to happen, I really look forward to hearing more from Aradia.

Sollux Captor: Sollux is by nature the other guy, that's an immutable fact of life. He doesn't do much other than snarking at whoever's nearby and I can't imagine it any other way.

Jake English: If not for a scene near the end of Candy, I'd put Jake at D-tier. Through all of Meat and most of Candy, Jake's role is one of the oddest spots of all and it's pretty hard to pinpoint what the authors were going for, lest I dabble in controversial topics some more. But Jake's scene with John near the end of Candy is uniquely touching and makes the most out of his role as a second John. He moves in with John, bringing his son Tavros with him, and encourages John to reconcile with his former wife and make amends of sorts, ultimately giving a small portion of the cast a pseudo-happy ending. That whole part of Candy made me tear up.

Talking about the really GOOD parts is a perfect point for me to move on to...

B-TIER

Stuff that didn't make it into A-Tier, which I've reserved for what struck me HARD.

Dave Strider: In both epilogues, Dave's behavior generally seems based on how he acted in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5, which is actually a LOT better than it sounds and hell if I know why that is. Dave's rants about politics and sexuality now have a charm I can't quite describe. His absurd fixation specifically on the economy matches shockingly well with the nature of Homestuck. The three-way romance between him, Karkat, and Jade goes in very different directions on either side, which I'll discuss a bit later. The epilogues even made Dave x Karkat an actually decent ship, how crazy is that??? The writers deserve a big badge of honor for doing that. Not sure what to say about specific things, but Dave was really well-written in an unexpected way.

Rose Lalonde: Again not sure what to say about anything in specific. Just really enjoyed reading Rose on both sides of the story. Shoutout to the heartwarming moment with John near the end.

A-TIER

Oh boy. Oh boy. Time for the big guns.

Vriska Serket: My mind hurts to process just how good Vriska's appearance in Candy was, after leaving the Furthest Ring and landing on Earth. First she talks with John rather aggravated, then she brutally murders Gamzee, then she sits down and has an honest talk with her ectobiological clone raised by Rose and Kanaya, and in the end gets in touch with Terezi which leads to a cliffhanger. The story somehow created the PERFECT balance of sincere reflections and typical Vriska flavor, which was deeply lacking in A6A6I5 with its horrific polar opposite versions of Vriska. Two Vriskas converse once again late in Candy and this time it's incredibly endearing and almost feels like an apology for the controversial Vriska/Vriska encounter back then. I accept the apology with open arms. Why is everything always so wonderful?

John Egbert: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3. WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SO WONDERFUL? John gets a deep meaningful existential crisis arc in both epilogues; both cases I easily latched onto and found a bit of myself in. I absolutely loved seeing him and Terezi interact as a duo of people with some perception of canonicity; I'll get back to that point soon enough. John's marriage to Roxy not working out is a testament to both his issues with canon and Roxy's issues dealing with harsh situations. Roxy latches onto John and their son as a huge carefree pushover and he doesn't like that at all. And that's actually cool with me because John x Terezi is better in every way, as the epilogues made me realize. If that wasn't enough, the end of Candy spoils our little hearts by having John reconcile with Roxy anyway and give hope for a better future. Though a part of me does want to see a true happy ending where John and Roxy date with their delightful dynamic from their first interactions, I'm beyond pleased with the epilogues' handling of John either way. Swaying deep into some rather sad territory while remaining 100% faithful to his character that I've always loved so much.

Terezi Pyrope: FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES. Every scene with Terezi in the epilogues was so goddamn awesome. Her interactions with John were such a blast to read, with exactly the mix of humor and touching aspects that make both of the big John/girl ships what they are. How did the authors pull it off, making deeply emotional scenes without ever sacrificing that goofy Terezi flavor???

S-TIER

S in rating systems these days is way misused in my eyes. Normally A is meant to be the highest rating and S is used for the very rare absolutely exceptional case A doesn't do justice. But now you see shit like SS, SSS, SSSS everywhere like one S isn't the ultimate badge of honor? S is a rating I'd gladly give Detective Pony and may or may not give cool and new web comic. Same goes for my very favorite Futurama episodes. I'd give a few of Neil Cicierega's works that rating if I'm feeling up to it. In this post, I've reserved the S rating for:

Barack Obama: THE BEST PART OF THE EPILOGUES, HANDS DOWN. His conversation with Dave near the end of Candy is perfect in every way, it really transcends words. Humor, emotional touching, plot revelations, and straight up "Homestuck feel" are blended into the most delicious melting pot imaginable. When Dave confesses that he might be gay and explains troubles in his three-way romance, Obama responds with a truly inspiring speech about identity that raises an excellent point about the differences between the epilogues involving aspects of people that may seem immutable to some. I think Obama's speech leaves a powerful message I never expected Homestuck of all things to convey so well. I hope readers take that speech's message into account, though I know many will probably be a bit naive about it.

If you refuse to read the epilogues at all costs, then I implore you to read Dave and Obama's conversation anyway. You won't be disappointed.

CONCLUSION

epilogues good

that’s all there is to say on the matter

though if you don’t like them that’s also fine

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #epilogues #epilogues spoilers #homestuck epilogues spoilers #i predicted the future #i love john egbert #i love terezi pyrope #i maybe love vriska serket???#obama obama obama #johnrezi #yes good

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hallelujuh · 6 years

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shay’s favorite tv shows from 2017

this has been in my drafts for.... nine months.... fuck.

Written in December 2017, updates are from September 2018.

Considering how many new, innovative shows are around these days, I didn’t get too adventurous this year, but I’m satisfied with the ones I did watch. I discovered new shows, I was impressed by the shows I’ve been following for years, and I learned to appreciate the work that goes into television more. Here’s my top ten TV shows..

10. Thirteen Reasons Why - In all honestly, this is only here because I haven’t been able to watch Peaky Blinders yet, and it’s probably too late. (UPDATE: Watched it in Jan and it was amazing.) This show received a lot of backlash, and for good reason, although it had its moments. The characters were well-written, the relationships were given depth that is often lacking in other high school-set narratives, and the tone was great. I’ve always loved watching things that make me profoundly sad, and this show did just that. (UPDATE: Season 2 was fucking garbage lmao.)

Standout episode: Tape 1, Side B. It’s a cripplingly depressing show, but this episode stood out as a moment of light in Hannah’s dark reality. Her friendship with Jessica and Alex was nice in the beginning - their banter, them having a spot in the coffee shop. I remember assuming Alex was gay (I believe his actor is, so I wasn’t too off) and thinking that’d be good for Hannah, to have a guy friend who wasn’t interested in her and wouldn’t add relationship drama to her life. Boy, was I wrong. Still, having seen the show at the beginning of the year, this episode is the only one I remember as enjoying, so it gets this spot.

9. A Series of Unfortunate Events - I read the books in elementary school, and they’re one of my favorite series of all time. I’m also a huge fan of the film, though I know most aren’t. So I was very excited for this series, and it didn’t completely disappoint. While I found myself longing for the actors from the 2004 motion picture, and some of the directing decisions weren’t choice, it was cool to see The Miserable Mill finally come to life, and I loved the Baudelaires just as much here as anyone else. I’ll be tuning in to next season, since I’ve very, very excited to see how they handle the next three books. I can’t wait to meet the Quagmire triplets, and Esme, and Jacques! It’ll be awesome. I hope they portray it well, but there’s no film to compare it to from here on out, so maybe it’ll be different.

Standout episode: The Reptile Room: Part One/Two. Like I said, I wasn’t a huge fan of how most of the characters were portrayed in this adaption, but I did love Uncle Monty. He was just as wonderful as he was in the film and books. Watching his interactions with the kids was really nice, and as always, made me wish they could’ve remained with him. Stephano wasn’t as menacing here as he is in the film (that knife scene is the point in the film where you go, “woah, this dude’s for real. he’s scary”), which was a bummer because I still thought Olaf was a laughably bad and incompetent villain by the finale, but I did like Poe’s hysteria, and I really loved the movie theatre scene.

8. Riverdale - Oops I never wrote this dfdsbfjdbfjds.

7. South Park - While we all can agree the last season was a mess, and this one was only a slight improvement, it did have it’s moments. I’ve been a fan for five years now, so at this point, they’ll never disappoint me, tbfh.

Standout episode: Doubling Down. While Put it Down was wonderful, both satirically and because of Craig and Tweek’s adorable relationship, the eighth episode of the season was my personal favorite (UPDATE: Not sure why ‘cause I didn’t specify then and I’m not sure now.)

6. Dear White People - I didn’t do this one either damn.

Standout Episode: Chapter V. While the show is a comedic take on racial relations, this episode is an emotional, serious change. The Barry Jenkins-directed episode shows us that the subject is no laughing matter, and it very clearly deserves this spot.

5. Rick and Morty - Yet another show I discovered this year, during the summer. I’d been meaning to watch it for ages, and I finally got around to it. While the fanbase is pretty much poison, the show is pretty damn good. Maybe not what it’s hyped up to be, but great none-the-less. I’m a big fan of adult cartoons, and RaM isn’t entirely satirical like South Park, and it’s not self-aware like BoJack, but it holds up. It’s probably so popular because of how unique it is.

Standout episode: The Ricklantis Mixup. While my personal favorite of Season 3 was The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, because I adore Jerry, I think we can all agree that the was the best episode of the season, if not the series. Like, really. Holy shit.

4. Gotham - I began watching this show last year, and caught up to season three around halfway through it. It began to drag a bit, admittedly, like it couldn’t carry it’s own weight - but now the show’s on season four, and it gets a little wild sometimes, but it’s holding quite a bit better, I’d say. I was pretty fucking impressed, especially with the Nygmobblepot stuff.

Standout episode: A Dark Knight: Queen Takes Knight. Although Mad City: The Gentle Art of Making Enemies from Season 3 is a close runner-up, for all the loose ends it ties up, and so cleanly, too - the winter finale gets this spot. It had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat (since I was actually curled up in bed) the entire time. While Sophia’s character and her motivations had remained muddy since her introduction, her badassery finally came to the forefront, and it was awesome. The way she tore down Penguin from his throne? Incredible. We know he’ll return, as he has so many times, but really, that was so incredible. Considering he’s my favorite character, I should feel worse. However, Sophia executed her plan so well, I was too awed to hate her. Also, Jerome’s back! I’m extremely excited to see Jerome’s role in the upcoming episodes. (Update: Oh, honey, you got a big storm coming...)

3. BoJack Horseman - I binged the hell out of this show just before season four came out, because it was so creative and thought-provoking and hilariously depressing. The fourth season was notably wonderful in a lot of ways, particularly because of Todd’s sexuality arc (the first out asexual character in a TV show!) and how well it was handled, but also because of the mature themes they took on. Princess Carolyn’s miscarriages, Diane and Mr. PB’s failing marriage, BoJack’s struggle to forgive his mother, Beatrice’s own troubled upbringing, Hollyhock’s eating disorder. I watched the whole season in three days when it was first released, four months ago, and I’m currently considering re-watching it after rereading the summaries of each episode to refresh my memory. I’d forgotten how phenomenal it was. It’s on another level - it really is.

Standout episode: Time’s Arrow. Though there wasn’t a single weak episode this season, this one definitely stood out. Following the tradition of uniquely depressing eleventh episodes, Time’s Arrow focuses on BoJack’s mother and how her turbulent childhood affected her. Gorgeously executed, it makes us pity the woman who made our favorite alcoholic horse the way he is, and it concludes with BoJack making peace with his mother, who he had spent so long resenting. It’s just a gorgeous episode. I think I’m going to rewatch it right now, haha.

2. Mr. Robot - I’ve wanted to watch this show since it came out, but I finally began and finished the first two seasons just weeks before Season 3 came out. Since I’m discussing my favorites of 2017, I won’t be talking about those first two seasons here. I’ll be focusing on Season 3, which has been, in my opinion, incredible. What began as a modern, nerdy take on Fight Club has become so much more; a masterfully dark and suspenseful fictionalized look at the looming political state of our world. We’ve gotten new characters (Irving, who’s a gem), we’ve learned more about older but mysterious characters (poor repressed Dom), we’ve had to say goodbye to old characters (I’m still mad about ******), and best of all, this season has been Tyrell heavy, and we even got to see Elliot make peace with Mr. Robot.

Standout episode: S3/EP8, eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko - The previous episode had already established a gorgeously melancholy setting through the use of Mac Quayle's gorgeous production 2.0_6-madame3xecutioner.oga, which, as a huge fan of film scores, I instantly fell in love with. The song is featured during a scene I watched several times - the scene when Angela repeatedly rewinds the explosion, unable to cope with the reality of it. It left me feeling similar to the way I had after watching American Beauty for the first time - like the world was a different shade. I thought this would be the only moment the show could invoke that response from me, but then the next episode came out. Unlike Ep. 7, Ep. 8 didn’t have a single moment. The whole episode brimmed with pain and sadness. The show’s already sad, but the lonely, isolated feeling is often overwhelmed by the suspense, drama, and excitement. This episode let the characters hurt without interruption, and it was wonderfully emotional.

1. The Get Down - I was so thrilled when I discovered this show in April, literally a few days after Part 2 had aired. I downloaded all the episodes for a road trip, and literally could not put it down the entire tme. It blended all my favorite things - the art of rap, the origin and evolution of hip hop, how battle rapping/deejaying came to be. The music was stellar, the cinematography was breathtaking, the acting was (for the most part) wonderful, and the cast was fantastic. I’ve seen some criticizing it, because of its occasionally choppy narrative and the fact that Baz Luhrmann added his usual whimsical take on something that was historically fairly dark, but I thought it was flawless. It was definitely groundbreaking in its amount of representation, and it was fun and colorful and emotional and, overall, just absolutely wonderful. Like many others, I was pretty devastated when they cancelled it. I understand why, but I wish it could get the Sense 8 treatment and receive a movie. There’s too many loose ends - it’s a real bummer. Still, I’m grateful we were blessed with this gem of a show at all.

Standout episode: S1/EP11, Only from Exile Can We Come Home - The final episode gets this spot for a single scene; the one where it alternates between Mylene singing “I’m my #1″ in the hotel room with Jackie and all the drag queens, and the scene where an unreleased Miguel song is playing while Dizzy & Thor paint on each other, and then Shao calls Dizzy his “alien brother.” That scene was easily one of my favorites I’ve ever seen in any show, in my entire life. If that episode was a film, that scene alone would guarantee it a spot on my favorite films list. It was that good.

#mine #txt #2017

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