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targaryen-dynasty · 2 days

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THE CURSE OF CURIOSITY.

Aemond Targaryen x twin sister!reader

"While your brother searches the library of the Dragonkeeper Elder for something new to read, you come in contact with some unlabeled fluid. You both learn that it's something meant to aid in the breeding of dragons, however, it also has a unique effect on humans. But lucky for you, your twin is there to help you through the ordeal."

WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT—MINORS DNI; canon typical incest/targcest, dub con, sex pollen (rather fluid lol), p in v, breeding kink

WORDS: 4 K

NOTES: Hope you enjoy me having literally zero grasp on English. 🤭

❗️𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

“It’s far too late for us to be here,” you huff, almost annoyed, as you watch Aemond graze his fingers along the spines of the several books kept in the currently deserted chambers of the Dragonkeeper Elder. “What are we looking for here anyways?”

The room is barely lit by anything else than just a handful of candles. Your twin holds a lantern of some sort in one hand, using it to make out the writings that are carved on the books backs.

When there doesn’t immediately come an answer from him, you start to slowly walk around the room, inspecting its decor. “I have exhausted the castle’s libraries, and hope to take something of their collection for my own,” he murmurs, carefully selecting two books.

You stop in your tracks and turn to look at him. Although you’re just a few moments younger than him, sharing the same attributes with your long, silver hair and lilac eyes, you have a much gentler nature than he does, one that doesn’t lend itself to the same mischief you had pursued together as children anymore.

“And you couldn’t have just taken Floris with you? You ought to wed, and doing something together would do no harm to your future union. One sparsely sees you two around court,” you note, slightly annoyed your brother chose to wake you instead of his betrothed.

Knowing all too well that just the mention of the betrothal is going to set him off, you choose to play with fire. If your brother wants your company, he’ll have to put up with your teasing. And just like expected, the notion of being forced into a marriage he doesn’t want to be in irritates him, audible in the sigh he releases. His resentment of the situation has become worse over time as he feels more and more suffocated by the ordeal.

“The girl is as dull as stones. Besides,” he replies with a shrug, “she knows nothing about our family’s history, much less about dragons.” The topic of dragons is something your twin is very passionate about, and you know that the fact that his wife-to-be cares so little about his passion infuriates him. It might be one of the main reasons for his dislike of her. “I have no desire to have Floris at my side any more than she does me.”

His annoyance is palpable, but you don’t feel bad about making it worse. For all the hours he has spent teasing, taunting and annoying you while you grew up together, he gets it back twice and three times over. And although he hasn’t spoken it out loud, you know you’re one of the few people he trusts blindly to be himself around.

“That aside, it would be foolish to read with Floris,” he continues, your silence coaxing him to speak more, “as all she does is gossip with her friends and prattle on about pointless nonsense. You of all people know best how I feel about this match.”

“Floris isn’t so bad, you know,” you defend with a low voice. “And you’ve barely tried to get to know her. Surely you can find at least one thing to like about her. If you did, you might just see she’s not as terrible as you’ve decided.” If you both have to spend your days withering away in marriages sealed by your father and mother, you at least could find a little solace knowing your twin wasn’t as miserable in his.

Aemond sighs in frustration. “You sound just like mother,” he comments dryly, finally moving to look at you from over his shoulder. “Can you really say that you like her? She is dull and naive. I am certain I couldn’t find anything to like about her even if I had all night. There is nothing for me to like about her. Nothing at all.”

Finding yourself at somewhat of a loss of words at this, you open and close your mouth without any words leaving it. Part of you wants to disagree with your twin, as Floris hasn’t been entirely unpleasant to spend time with at court, which makes Aemond’s dislike for her appear entirely without reason to you. On the other hand, you’ve known your brother long and well enough to know when he is resolute about something.

“Just promise me that you won’t be a terrible husband to her. Even if you don’t like her, don’t make your lifes awful,” you finally blurt out.

As you allow your gaze to trail through the chambers once more, you spot some small vessels standing lined up on the desk in the far corner with books and scrolls littered around them. You don’t wait for Aemond to reply as you make your way over, determined to inspect the small containers. The liquid inside of them resembles milk of the poppy, although it’s slightly more permeable to light when you hold it to one of the candles.

You hardly think about the dangers coming with it when you open the lid to inhale a whiff of the fluid. Not smelling entirely unpleasant, it still has you scrunching your nose as a slight burning grows prominent in your nose and throat.

Placing the vessel back down rather quickly, it stands too close to the edge of the desk. You’re not quick enough as it falls to the ground with a clatter, the vessel shattering into pieces and the pale liquid spreading across the floor.

“By the Seven,” you mumble, sinking to the ground to collect some of the larger shards.

The sound of breaking glass and your sighing is enough to catch your brother's attention again. Where he has read the spines of the books before, he makes his way over to the source of the commodation now. “You shouldn’t have dropped that,” he comments dryly, which prompts you to shoot him a heated glare. “Oh, you don’t say, mh?” you reply, your voice laced with sarcasm.

Reaching for another shard, you pull your hand back with a hiss when it cuts your finger. “Ouch!” you exclaim and rise to your feet, soon enough spotting the crimson oozing out of the cut.

Despite his annoyance at your clumsiness, Aemond’s good eye is drawn to the cut you have given yourself. It’s no deep wound, but even the hint of your blood makes something akin to guilt bubble in his stomach. “What were you doing with that?” he inquires, as he takes your hand to inspect your finger, nodding towards the vessels still standing on the desk.

You watch him twist and turn your hand to have the perfect look of the wound, the stinging pain suddenly not too bad with his warm skin on yours. “I… I just wanted to see what they keep here. It is unusual for anyone other than the maesters to store unmarked liquids,” you reply, hissing as Aemond pinches the cut finger a tad too tightly. “I shall see Maester Mellos. Mayhaps this needs stitching.”

“That’s an excellent idea.”

Aemond fetches the books he has chosen from the collection, holding them under his arm as he brings the other to you to place a hand to the small of your back, guiding you out of the Dragonpit.

On your request, the cut on your finger is stitched by Maester Mellos, although he has voiced that it wasn’t quite necessary. But something tells you the opposite, especially when you catch him staring at your face and checking your temperature more than once. “Is everything alright, maester?” you ask him with a soft voice, a yawn following.

Aemond towers over the both of you, carefully watching each move of the needle in the elder’s hands, just waiting for him to make a wrong move that’s meant to hurt you – he’s familiar with being stitched up after all.

The maester seems to be out of his mind, and only reacts as he hears you say his name. “Maester Mellos?”

His eyes are wide, but he nods quickly. “Yes… yes, princess. The wound should be able to heal calmly now.”

He is quick to pack his utensils up again, and even faster to leave your chambers at once. And while Aemond hurries after the old man, trying to catch up on him outside of your chambers, you don’t wait for any of them to return again with sleep coming over you.

The crackling of the fireplace is the only thing audible when you stir awake, a sheen of sweat covering your skin, making your nightgown cling to it uncomfortably. Your body feels as though it’s on fire when you squirm from one side to the other, not finding back to sleep. A tingling spreads in your loins, and each time your thighs squeeze together, it surges up your spine.

“Gods be good,” you whine, utterly bewildered with the feeling of liquid fire coursing through your veins.

Aemond not so silently rises from one of the chairs close to the fireplace, and comes closer to the bed, though, careful not to startle or frighten you as you regain your bearings. He has hoped you’d sleep through the entire ordeal and wake up as if nothing has happened, but that hope slowly dissipates with each passing moment.

“How are you feeling?” your twin asks, concern in his voice. Suddenly, hearing his voice allures you, and doesn’t diminish the burning at the apex of your legs.

As you clench your thighs together again, it releases some of the tension your body holds, and makes you whine in despair. “Aemond…” you pant, your chest rising and falling with your heavy breaths. “What are you doing here?”

The thin sheets covering your body do little to conceal what is happening beneath, and your brother just assumes it’s your way of trying to suppress your bodily urges ignited by the pale liquid you came in contact with before.

“I…” his usual confidence and boldness completely deserts him at the state you’re in, and he can barely find the words to tell you what he’s been told by Maester Mellos.

As he watches you writhe and writhe about on the bed, he’s unsure of how much longer he can just stand there and do nothing. But his concern and love for you cause him to make the decision to act, approaching you and reaching out to grasp your hands.

At the contact, the feeling of his warm hands fully engulfing yours, it’s like something overcomes your mind and body, luring you in to move, staring up at him with wide eyes as you sit on your haunches. “Dohaeragon nyke… kostilus,” you whimper, strands of your silver hair clinging to the damp sides of your face. “Ziry ōdrikagon.. sīr bāne. Nyke sepār – dohaeragon nyke, lēkia.” Yet you don’t quite know what exactly you’re begging for. Help me… please. It hurts… so hot. I just – help me, brother.

In the dim light of the candles, you spot his eye widening as you shift and squirm, looking up at him in such a vulnerable state with your innocent eyes, pleading for him to help you through your ordeal although you have no idea of what’s wrong with you right now. He can’t help but notice how your hair clings to your skin, seeming as if you’ve just bathed, and that your movements seem to contribute to its dampness.

“Mellos has told me what the fluid is that the Elder keeps in his chambers,” he states, trying to stay calm and not let your state affect him too much.

But with his proximity, all effort of you to process what he’s saying is fruitless. You pull on his hands, as if you want to encourage him to join you in bed, and when he doesn’t budge, you rise on your knees, and start to fidget with the buttons of his coat – solely driven by your urges. “And that is?” you mumble, not really listening.

His cheeks run hot when you start to undo the buttons, and his hands capture yours once again to put a stop to it, making you pout. With furrowed brows, his grip finally has you looking up at him. “It’s something used to aid in breeding the dragons,” Aemond states. “He told me it’s also used to increase their stamina and to make them more…” he trails off, his body slowly growing tense as the implication of what he’s going to say settles into his mind. “... receptive to breeding.”

“Mh–Mh,” you hum almost nonchalantly, and watch completely mesmerized as your fingers graze along his, the warmth and softness of his skin only intensifying the tingling in your loins. Aemond is hesitant, unsure whether or not what you’re doing is entirely due to the potion’s effect, or if there is genuinely some desire for him on your part.

You lick your lips and free your hands from Aemond’s to shrug the opened coat off his shoulders. The fabric of his tunic is pinched between your fingers as you tug on it once again to beg for him to join you. With him taking his sweet time, you find yourself clenching your thighs every now and then to soothe the aching burning at the apex of them.

“He also informed me that ‘tis necessary for someone to… help you through it,” he murmurs quietly, his voice almost sounding shaky as he speaks, “... for it will burn you from the inside out if not.”

Even though you’re fully acting on your body's desires, you do notice the way his widened eye trails down to your thighs, lingering there for a moment before it returns to yours.

You don’t give a verbal response to his words, and instead, your only reactions are subtle ones. Nodding your head slowly, as if you’ve understood what he is implying, your hands squeeze his tunic further into his chest. He can practically see your body tensing with each movement of your fingers, almost as if you’re trying to hold back.

With your eyes firmly locked with his now, you slowly trail your hands beneath his tunic, pushing it up to remove that as well from his body to get further access to him – if it wasn’t for him not raising his arms.

Exhaling a deep breath, you sit back on your haunches. His reluctance does little to quell the fire raging within you, no, it only fuels to make you even more desperate. The lacey hem of your nightgown rides up your thighs as you spread them, and fully exposes your undergarments the moment you bring your hand between your legs. A breathy whimper falls past your lips as your fingers finally make contact with your clothed cunt, and then something akin to mischief flickers in your lilac eyes.

“And… will you help me, brother? Or shall I ask Jacaerys for help instead? We ought to wed in a moon's turn after all,” your voice is honeyed as you speak, dripping with feigned innocence. “But you don’t want that, do you? That’s why you’ve stayed.”

You spot the exact moment his breath hitches in his throat. He suddenly feels a wave of heat overcoming him, your words triggering something in him that is more than just the usual desire to protect his younger sister, something primal. You sound and look so vulnerable asking for his help, secretly begging for him and him only.

Intertwining your fingers with his, the intensity of your grip increasing as your senses become more heightened, your twin finally moves as you pull him onto the bed. The mattress dips beneath his weight as you watch him come closer, and when he is close enough, you reach and pull him down onto you in a quick motion. You don’t waste a second more and lock your lips with his, your hand slowly traveling down his back. But before you can grab his tunic and pull it over his head, Aemond pushes you back to lie flatly on the bed, pinning your wrists above your head. His eye burns with hunger as he gazes down at you, visible even in the dim light, and it makes you yearn for more.

“Well, if I chose to leave you here to your own devices, would you crawl to your betrothed for help? I do not think so,” he says, his voice taking over a mocking tone. “No, in fact, I’m certain you would come to my chambers instead.”

When he doesn’t touch you, you try to wrap your legs around his body to grind yourself against him, but Aemond is quick to catch your hip with one hand, keeping your body still as it's pinned to the mattress.

“Sir, dohaeragon nyke,” you beg, voice shaky enough it comes close to a whimper. But when you notice that speaking in the tongue of your ancestors is not having any effect on him at all, you choose to coax him to tend to you in the Common Tongue. “Touch me, Aemond. Help me… please.” Now, help me.

Aemond is silent for a moment, visibly dragging his eye over your squirming frame. One hand still holds your wrists above your head, while the other slowly but surely releases your hip. “I shall take care of you,” he reassures you. “But you will have to let me, do you understand?”

You gaze up at him with wide eyes and slowly nod your head, only for you to pounce on him the moment your wrists are released. The tunic is gone as soon as your body collides with his, causing a strained gasp to leave your twin’s lips. While just the thoughts of his warm skin on yours have incite your mind already, seeing his bare chest sets your body alight.

His demeanor changes in the blink of an eye, and he has never treated you as roughly as he does when he pushes you off of him. It leaves you dumbfounded for a moment, more so when he moves between your parted legs, towering over you.

“Look how dull this fluid has made you,” he mocks, the condescending tone of his voice sending a shiver up your spine. Aemond notices that you’re not shying away from him, no, you keen at that. “Just because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

“If I help you,” he warns, “no one else, let alone that bastard of a nephew, is ever allowed to touch you again, do you understand?”

It might be the liquid-induced state, or the despair to have him do anything to you already, but you’re far too eager to nod at his words.

Aemond’s hand wanders below the hem of your nightgown to heartily fist your undergarments and peel them off of you. He can already feel that the linen is soaked with your arousal, but still can’t stop himself from licking his lips as he sees your now exposed cunt glistening in the light of the candles.

“Now, we do not want you to suffer any longer, hm?” he asks.

And you nod once again. “Gods, yes, please. I need you, Aemond.”

You don’t have to beg him any longer. He undoes the laces in the front of his breeches and pulls out his throbbing cock, painfully hard and aching to be buried inside of you. It’s slightly curved and thick, and if you have to guess, you’d say that you need both hands to pleasure him, and even then there’d still be a bit of him that would be left abandoned.

Aemond wastes no time in lining himself up with your entrance, pushing into you as you both moan in unison. You don’t expect him to set up a merciless pace almost immediately upon fully bottoming out, but you’re not disappointed either.

While you’ve been able to talk before, he’s quickly reduced you to a whimpering and whining mess, relishing in the delicious burning of accommodating his sheer size.

“Does it help?” your twin asks through gritted teeth, desperately trying to keep his sounds of pleasure at bay. But you’ve been fucked into a stupor by him already, not even able to keep your eyes open. “Mh-mh,” you hum.

Putting some of his weight onto you, Aemond’s hand finds your throat like the most treasured necklace you only take off to sleep, taking up the entirety of your neck and leaving no room for you to shift even the slightest.

It was subtle at first, but the merciless pace slowly changes into something more determined, his hips rolling with each thrust as if he wants to make sure the tip of his cock really brushes your sweet spot every time. He’s seemingly spurred on by the way you’ve lost all inhibitions, not that the fluid allowed you to have any in the first place, and the wanton moans that spill past your lips.

One of your hands grabs his wrist, keeping his hand around your throat, while the other finds solace on his shoulder, gripping it tightly. Your nails dig into his alabaster skin, and you’re sure that crescent shaped marks will bloom there not long after, staking your claim on him.

“But you need more,” Aemond grunts, and you can’t do more than whimper a pathetic string of yesses. “The only thing that will truly help you is for me to fill you up with my seed, to breed you.”

Your head tips back in plain bliss, and you’re not sparing one thought to the possible repercussions of him putting a child in you. If anything, there is something buried deeply inside of you that has waited for this moment. You have waited for this moment. You grew up thinking you’d marry your twin one day, only for the rising tensions inside of the family to force you to marry your nephew instead as the final straw to mend the chasm.

Aemond’s stamina doesn’t seem to be able to handle the way your body reacts to him and his words – not when a renewed wave of your arousal drips from your cunt at the mere thought of you carrying his child. It’s running thin, ready to burst at any given moment, hence he brings a deft finger to your pearl, rubbing it with frantic movements that should bring you to peak just in time with him.

The pressure brought to your pearl has your body squirming, not anticipating it and the shiver of pleasure that comes with it. You arch your back and moan, yet a tight squeeze of your throat is enough to bring your attention back to him.

“Do you want that?” he pants, dark blown eyes fixed with yours. “Want me to put a babe in you?” It might be his way to ask for your reassurance, and while your body’s reaction should be enough with your walls clenching around him so tightly, he stills wants to hear your voice.

Your cheeks grow hot as his words finally seem to settle in your hazed mind, a whiny ‘yes’ slipping past your lips. “Fill me up, Aemond… please. I want it,” you all but beg, your voice croaked with him squeezing your throat.

The confession flips a switch inside of you that allows you to let go, your body shattering beneath Aemond with a pathetic whine. He relishes in the way your walls flutter and spasm all over him, utterly mesmerized as relief etches itself into your features.

With a groan, the first wanton sound of pleasure you’ve heard of him, Aemond spends himself inside of you. He connects your lips in a heated kiss that has you swallowing down each grunt and groan he unleashes. Working you both through the blissful highs, his hips only stop once he’s sure he’s fucked his seed as deep as possible, determined to put a child in you.

Aemond topples over into the vacant space next to you, his breeches soaked with your arousal and his chest heaving with his breaths.

The sudden loss of friction makes you whine at first, but is quickly overshadowed by the feeling of relief. “Thank you,” you whisper through heavy breaths, turning your head to look at him.

“I won’t leave now,” he says softly, although there is a linger of mischief in his voice. “I would be remiss not to aid my sister in her hour of utmost desperation… so, I shall stay the night just to make sure you really get through it.”

Aemond Taglist: @persephonerinyes @dr-aegon @schniiipsel @thekinslayed @baizzhu @legitalicat

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d1xonss · 2 days

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Cigarettes After Sex

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader

✧ Era : Season 11

✧ Pronouns : she/her

✧ Genre : ⚠️ Smut (18+) and a lil bit of angst

✧ Word Count : 5.6k

AN ~ Not a request but I had this idea that I just couldn't get out of my head. Plus I've been in the mood to write something a little spicy since you guys liked the Older oneshots so much. Hope you enjoy!

Your eyes stayed focused on the pages of the book you were reading in front of you in the smoke filled garage, occasionally turning the pages to continue on with the chapter. In the background you could hear the tools clinking around, along with a few curses that fell from his lips when he couldn’t get something just right. Every once and a while you couldn’t help but look up and stare at him for a few seconds, knowing the real reason you came out here to keep him company while he worked.

Over the past twelve, long years you had known Daryl, you still didn’t exactly know what you were to each other. Some would call the two of you friends, and though that may be true, you always knew there was something a little more there than what meets the eye. And you knew he felt it too, but neither of you were willing to admit that out loud. Too hardheaded, you supposed.

It always caught your attention when he left a few lingering touches on your skin, how he embraced you so dearly as if you were the most important person in the world, or even how he occasionally left a small kiss on your forehead. You couldn’t help but think he did all of these things for a reason, as if to ease you into something that he was always terrified of. And hell, maybe he was easing himself into it too.

You always knew he was never much of a romantic person, he never quite showed interest in anyone else the way he always did with you. Though when he finally did open his heart up to a woman named Leah all those many years ago, he got absolutely crushed in the process, leaving you heartbroken for him as you witnessed him go through it all. In the back of your mind, you hoped it would work out between the two of them because you knew he deserved someone that would treat him right. And though that person may not have been you, it didn’t matter, as long as he was happy. That’s all you had ever wanted for him.

However, you couldn’t help but notice ever since he got hurt, he had been slowly pulling away from you. Not in a way that was drastic, but you always seemed to notice the little things. He had completely stopped showing you affection whatsoever which was very out of character for him considering how close you were. All of the little things he used to do that would make you smile, he had brought to a halt without warning. The only thing that he really did now was just a small squeeze on your shoulder, and that’s only if you were lucky.

It frustrated you slightly, not because of his sudden wall he built up, but because subconsciously he thought you would hurt him the same way she did. He was now scared that the same thing would happen all over again. And it bothered you in a way he could never understand. Because after all you had been through together, he still didn’t seem to know you at all.

“Pass me that screwdriver, will ya?”

Your thoughts cut short when he started to speak, absentmindedly nodding your head as you turned towards the toolbox that was placed right next to you. You dug through them for a moment before you spotted the familiar red handle, grabbing it and stretching your arm out to hand it over to him.

He met your hand halfway as he accepted it gratefully, “Thanks.” he muttered with a small smile, the cigarette still dangling from his lips as he spoke.

You nodded before watching him for another moment, tilting your head to the side, “What’re you fixing up anyway?”

He shrugged as his eyes stayed down, “Just some repairs…nothin too fancy.” he spoke, his eyebrows furrowing as he worked.

“Ah.” you muttered with a small nod, going back to your book as you assumed he didn’t want to be bothered while he focused.

Though upon hearing your small mutter, the quietness taking over the space, Daryl subtly looked back up at you for a moment. He knew things had been different, way different than what the two of you were used to, and a part of him felt bad. Mostly because he knew it was his own fault. He had pushed you away when you had done nothing wrong, and he felt guilty for it every single day.

With that in mind, he cleared his throat as he took a puff from his cigarette, “Ya still want me to teach ya?” he asked, his tone growing softer than before.

You glanced up from your book again, seeing the small smile he had on his face as he reminded you of something you had requested a long time ago. You had rode on the back of his motorcycle many times before, but a part of you wanted to learn how to ride all by yourself. And he clearly remembered.

A smile wormed its way onto your face as well as you nodded, “Yeah…yeah I’d like that.”

He nodded in return as he went back to tuning up his bike, “Gotta start ya off slow though. Can’t have ya crashin into some tree the first time ya get on.”

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself with a roll of your eyes, “Right, we probably wouldn’t want that. But I think I’ll have a pretty good teacher…I’m not too worried.”

His heart swelled, though you couldn’t see, but that comment touched him in a way, “Yeah?” he asked as he looked back up at you.

You nodded again, “I trust you.”

You trusted him. That little comment meant more to him than you could even fathom. It meant that after all the things he had put you through, all the things he regretted, you still loved and trusted him just the same. He couldn’t help but pause for a long moment as he contemplated all of that, how only a few little words could mean the absolute world.

Though when he was lost in his own mind, the cigarette that he now held between his two fingers, slightly burned his skin as some hot ash fell from the tip. He let out a small noise as he shook it off, only now noticing how smokey the space was from how much he was chain smoking with you in the room. He knew you never cared, but a part of him still felt a little bad.

“Sorry.” he muttered as he raised his hand to fan the area a bit, “Didn’t realize how much I hotboxed ya.” he chuckled a little.

You laughed it off as well, waving him off, “You know I don’t mind. Actually I kinda like the smell.”

He raised his eyebrow a bit at the unexpected comment, looking down to the stick in his grasp as he thought about your words for a moment, “Ya never told me that.” he muttered.

You shrugged, “Never really came up I guess. But I don’t know, it’s always kind of been comforting.”

Daryl silently knew what that meant without you even having to explain. And that only made his chest fill with even more warmth than before, knowing he was the reason behind your words. He knew he meant a lot to you, but just hearing you say that his bad habit was somewhat of a comfort to you, it almost made his mindset shift.

You absentmindedly closed your book as you noticed he grew quiet, “You know any cool tricks?” you asked with a smirk.

He huffed quietly with a small smile, wordlessly taking another hit and holding it for a moment before effortlessly blowing it out in small spurts, the smoke forming into little o shapes in the air. You nodded to yourself as you watched him, “Solid.”

He chuckled a little, “Thank you, thank you.” he said as he bowed his head a bit.

Tilting your head a little, you thought to yourself about any more little tidbits he might have experienced, “Have you ever shotgunned it?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, “Who’s askin?”

“Me.” you smiled sweetly.

He found himself chuckling again, shaking his head as a few memories came to mind, “Uh yeah…yeah I have.” he admitted a bit sheepishly, hoping you wouldn’t ask for any details.

A hum passed through your lips in response, opening your mouth to speak again, though he seemed to beat you to it, “You ever done anything like that?”

You scoffed, “Who’s asking?”

But he didn’t answer you. He only stared at you with the same small smile, however, there seemed to be something a little more behind his eyes. Though you couldn’t tell what that was, it intrigued you slightly. “No…” you answered honestly.

“Ya wanna try?”

It felt like your heart had dropped and settled into your stomach, swearing that you heard him wrong. “You’re not serious.”

But the smile on his face only grew a little, confirming to you just how serious he was as he nodded for you to come closer to him, “Come here.”

In all honesty he didn’t know what he was doing, and seeing the shock on your face only made the small pit in his stomach grow further, though he didn’t show it. He couldn’t really think in that moment at all about how this could be perceived, all he knew was that he wanted to be closer to you. Suddenly having a craving for it, having been without it for far too long.

A few beats of tense silence passed before you finally found the strength to stand to your feet, moving closer towards him as he stood tall as well. You tilted your head back a bit as you looked up at him, standing just a few inches away as you almost waited for him to instruct you on what to do next. Because in all honesty, you didn’t know what you were doing.

His eyes traced over your face for a moment, almost wanting to ask you to stand a little bit closer to him, but ultimately he refrained. He knew he couldn’t be greedy with you, not when you were already so precious to him. He only held the cigarette out towards you, watching as your delicate hand took it from his grasp, all while never removing your gaze from his.

“Go on and take a long drag.” he instructed, his voice coming off in an anticipating whisper.

You only nodded your head in response, placing the end of it in between your lips as you slowly inhaled all the smoke it had to offer. Daryl couldn’t help but stare down at your lips the entire time, he studied you in the most mesmerizing way it almost caused you to choke on your own spit. Yet you still couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and it made you grow a little frustrated all over again.

Your heart then fluttered when the smoke filled your lungs, taking the cigarette away from your mouth as you leaned up on your tiptoes to get closer to him. His hand instinctively came up to cradle your jaw as he pulled you even closer to his lips, feeling them barely brush against each other before the blissful feeling would soon wash over the two of you.

Exhaling the smoke, you blew the thick cloud right into his mouth, hearing a quiet groan leave him in response. It surprised you how good it felt, how your skin practically ignited with fire at his simple sound of enjoyment, it made your mind wander to a very dangerous place. His hand didn’t stray away from your face as he inhaled the smoke until he physically couldn’t anymore, the craving he felt only building to a new level as a part of him wanted to taste you. Just for a moment.

But the thought vanished, everything crashing down in an instant as he felt you pull away from his mouth, clearing your throat a bit. His eyes fluttered open to see you standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say as the two of you had never dared to cross this line before in the past.

“Well, I guess now I can cross that one off the bucket list.” you joked with a small, forced laugh.

“Do it again.”

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his as he spoke with zero hesitation in his tone, not even acknowledging that you made a comment at all. “What?” you asked quietly.

He took a small breath before speaking again, repeating the phrase, “Do it again.”

If you weren’t stunned before, you sure as hell were now as you stood almost frozen before him. To say it was one thing, but to repeat it with such confidence was another. He was serious. What started out as just a suggestion, now turned into something a lot more real.

But you found you didn’t protest. Because you wanted it too.

You then held the cigarette back up to your lips, inhaling it all over again as you were surprised you didn’t cough even once in the whole process. His eyes practically lit up as he saw you repeat the action, mentally preparing himself for the familiar feeling that would hit him all over again. But the thing he couldn’t get past was that he had never felt it before now. He only felt it with you. And it was very surreal.

Your perfect lips parted from the cigarette after what felt like a lifetime of waiting, moving back up to him to exhale the smoke into his mouth once more. The man breathed it in as if he needed it to stay alive, his hands coming up to your arms to hold you in place as if he was scared you would pull away again. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not even if you wanted to. The slightest brush of your lips made your breath hitch, but before you could even register what you were doing, you pressed your lips firmly to his. It almost didn’t feel real.

Daryl responded immediately, instantly bringing you into him as he wrapped his arms around you to hold you closer to his chest. Your hands went up to the sides of his face, tilting your head a bit so your noses wouldn’t clash so much, the kiss intensifying in just a split second. It was like all the years of the built up tension, the built up feelings, were now finally being unleashed after so long of waiting. You supposed before it was never the right time, but now, it couldn’t have felt more perfect.

His tongue moved to run along your lips almost teasingly, begging for an entrance as his hands gripped you even tighter. And you accepted his request, parting your lips for him and feeling his excitement grow as he didn’t take it for granted. His tongue swirled rapidly in your mouth, letting out a groan of pleasure as he tasted your sweetness. You shivered slightly at the low rumble you heard from him, something about it turning you on even more as you had never heard that sound from him before. It was like a switch flipped.

He continued to absolutely devour your mouth, his hands now running down the curves of your body in a slow and teasing manner, taking his time. You gasped softly as you felt your skin almost tingling under his touch, wanting to feel him everywhere. So without thinking, you quickly moved your hands down to his chest as you frantically began to try and tear his shirt off of him. Your fingers worked on each of the buttons, though you couldn’t see what you were doing, it all felt like it was happening so fast you almost had no time to prepare yourself.

But in a fit of panic, Daryl quickly pulled back from your mouth as the feeling of you trying to take off his shirt finally registered in his mind. He still remained close to you, but his sudden actions stopped you from yours, your hands freezing in place as it was clear you had pushed him too far. But your expression was filled with confusion and concern as you couldn’t understand why he looked almost scared to go any further.

He sighed as his eyes remained closed, almost ashamed to look at your face as he gently leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours. “I…I can’t.” he whispered.

Your eyes seemed to widen as it clicked in your mind. He hadn’t done anything like this since Leah. Since he had been burned so badly by her. Since he was left shattered and heartbroken because of what she did to him. He opened up to her unlike anyone else, and she left him. A lump formed in your throat as the realization set in for you, seeing just how scared he was for this to potentially happen to him all over again.

“I can’t do this, I…I can’t lose you too.”

You sighed softly as you shook your head, your hands tilting his face up a little more, “Hey, look at me.”

He simply shook his head, his eyes remaining closed, “Daryl, look at me.” you pleaded quietly.

When he did finally open his eyes, you could see he was starting to tear up, breaking your heart even further. Not only to see how much he was hurting, but how much he was truly terrified to lose you. Although in your mind, that wasn’t even a possibility.

“You couldn’t lose me, okay? Ever.” you whispered, “I’m not going anywhere. You know me…I would never hurt you like that. Never.”

Upon hearing your voice reassure him so sweetly, his tears slowly slipped down his cheeks, watching as he swallowed thickly to try and pull himself together. But you didn’t want him to be embarrassed. You understood more than he probably realized. Which is why you were quick to wipe them away with your thumbs, leaning up to kiss the ones you had missed in hopes to offer him even more comfort.

He shuttered under your touch, quickly finding your lips with his own again as he kissed you deeply, holding the back of your head steady as his lips were filled with passion. You responded to his kiss with hesitance, not wanting to push him again as you didn’t have a clear response to how he was feeling. But once you felt him take your hands, guiding them back up to the buttons on his shirt, you had your answer.

In a flurry of hurried kisses and laughs, nearly tripping over one another as you tried to make it back inside the house, the two of you finally landed on the couch in the living room. Neither of you really cared about trying to make it all the way upstairs, almost as if it was a silent agreement that you were both impatient. You panted heavily as each piece of fabric was being discarded onto the floor faster than you could even realize, yet his hands moved across your skin with such ease and gentleness. The action alone told you a thousand things, and yet he didn’t need to say a word.

You quickly lowered yourself to your knees the second you saw the opportunity, getting in between his legs as he sat on the couch. His eyes widened at your actions, “Aye, you don’t gotta-”

But his words were cut off with a groan as you lowered your mouth to the tip of his dick, darting your tongue out to slowly swirl around and tease him the smallest bit. You knew you didn’t have to, but you wanted him to feel special for once, you wanted him to feel important and loved. And besides, you just couldn’t help yourself as your mouth practically watered at the sight. And the small noises he was letting out as you licked sensually along his shaft, was almost like a reward of some kind.

He threw his head back slightly as his hands went up to hold your hair back for you, feeling you teasingly lower your lips just a little at a time to take more of him in your mouth. It was almost like torture with how slow you were going, but it was also the most enjoyable torture he could even endure. His muscles twitched in anticipation and he was already beginning to sweat, clenching his teeth together all the while.

“Come on,” he muttered breathlessly, talking more to himself than he was to you.

But you still took it as a sign, seeing he had enough and finally lowered your mouth even more to take him further. A shaky moan left his parted lips at your actions, hissing slightly when he felt your teeth barely brushing against him as well, though it wasn’t enough to hurt. Just enough to get his attention. You then began slowly bobbing your head up and down the length of him, swirling your tongue and hollowing out your cheeks to really make him squirm. His hands tightened around your hair in response, another low groan echoing around the room as he basked in the state of pleasure you provided.

His breathing grew heavier and heavier by the second, growing even more sensitive to you as your pace began to gradually pick up, trying to take even more of him in your mouth. You couldn’t lie though, he was bigger than what you had experienced in the past, which made you almost nervous. But hearing what you were doing to him so far, it gave you the right motivation you needed to keep going.

“F-Fuck.” he breathed as the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat, feeling your hands running up and down his thighs as you tried not to gag. Though he felt you struggle a bit, pulling your hair up slightly as if signaling you that you could ease up if you needed, but you didn’t. He felt too good in your mouth for you to want to stop.

Your head then moved a bit faster, taking him as deep as you could as you heard his whimpers and moans, not even trying to hold them back anymore. He wanted to make it known how good you were making him feel, just the sound of it was enough to make you wet, and he hadn’t even touched you yet. Your spit soaked him completely, making it almost easier to take him entirely in your mouth as you felt him hit the back of your throat almost every time with each pass.

His breath hitched, “Oh shit,” he muttered as he tried to regulate his breathing, “Ya need to get up here…come on.” he almost pleaded.

And you didn’t need to be told twice, feeling how hard he was now he was nearly throbbing in your mouth, knowing he was close to falling apart. So your lips slowly parted from his aching dick, leaving a few lingering kisses behind before you slowly stood back up to your feet with a smile. Looking at his face now, he gazed at you as if you put all the stars in the sky, as if you painted him the most beautiful sunset you could’ve ever laid your eyes on. Or as if you had given him the best head of his life.

He watched as you wiped your mouth from the spit that nearly dribbled down your chin, quickly reaching forward to pull you in and crash his mouth against yours, licking your lips completely clean. You giggled in response to his eagerness, attempting to remove your thong as it was the last thing in the way, struggling to kick it off your ankles. Though the moment it hit the ground, you instantly moved forward and broke away from his mouth for only a moment, straddling his hips as you hovered on top of him.

The man nearly gawked at the sight of you, “God…” he muttered as if he couldn’t find the words. But you knew what he was getting at, knowing that his actions always spoke louder than his words ever could. And he only proved that further when he lowered his mouth to one of your breasts, sucking gently at your nipple to elicit a small whimper from you.

You could feel his lip curl up in response to your little noises, his hand coming up to gently massage the other with his rough fingers. The scratchiness of his calloused palms made it even better somehow, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine as you lowered yourself a little more onto him in response. He hummed at your actions, encouraging you to continue as his mouth worked wildly along your breast.

One of your hands then moved down to gently guide his tip towards you, running it up and down your slit to gather the wetness that pooled there. Your chest heaved up and down as you were almost overwhelmed with the tingles running through your entire body, nearly causing you to shake.

Daryl’s mouth then dragged all across your skin, leaving a small trail of small hickies along your chest, groaning as you continued to play with him a little. Your other hand came up to run through his hair, tilting your head back a little as you dragged his dick up to circle around your pulsing clit. That seemed to cause you both to gasp, the slow and tormenting teasing beginning to be too much as Daryl quickly removed his mouth from you, his hands moving to your hips as if to position you in the most perfect way he could.

You followed his lead as your hands moved up to his shoulders to steady yourself, feeling him move his dick down to your entrance to align himself with you. And when you finally sunk down onto him, it felt like absolute heaven. A long, slow moan left your lips as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, hearing a harsh grunt escape him as he tried to refrain from pounding into you. He knew he needed to take his time, wanting to draw this out for as long as he could as if it were the first and last time. He hoped for more, he prayed for more, but he knew it was never guaranteed.

His forehead fell to rest in the middle of your chest as the two of you basked in the pure errotic experience, slowly managing to move your hips once you were ready. It was slow at first, gradually easing into it as you lowered yourself back down onto him again and again, your hands moving to grip the back of his hair. He groaned as he felt you tug a little at his roots, but in all honesty, he didn’t care. In fact, he liked it.

You moaned softly as you rocked your hips against his, pulling almost all the way off of him before he filled you completely once more. What you were feeling was almost indescribable, not having felt it with any other man you had been intimate with in your entire life. But with him, it felt so different, so incredibly good. Like his body was made for yours, fitting together perfectly like a puzzle piece you had been missing for far too long. And you weren’t the only one feeling like that, with him squirming beneath you, it was just a sign to not stop your movements anytime soon.

You bounced on him at a steady pace as you balanced yourself, feeling his hand travel down to rub slow circles along your clit with his thumb. You nearly cried out in response, your heart racing out of your chest, “Oh fuck…yes.” you breathed as his pace quickened.

“Yeah? Ya like that?” he asked as his face moved close to whisper in your ear, feeling his teeth gently bite down on your earlobe.

Your mouth fell open in response as you gasped, nodding your head frantically, “Yes…yes.” you moaned as you continued to rock against him, feeling your wetness drip all over him with how aroused you were.

“Mmm,” he hummed his mouth traveling down to kiss along your jawline, “You’re doin so good sweetheart.” he breathed as he held back a groan, “So good.”

His praise only spurred you on more, your fingers tugging a bit harder at his hair which caused him to groan, thrusting his hips up into you to match your pace. The sinful sounds that escaped you should never be heard by anyone, you couldn’t even believe you were the one making them. But he was the one to cause all those little reactions, adding something more to push you over the edge. And it was working too, you had felt it ever since you were down on your knees in front of him. The familiar tingling in your stomach was building to the point where it could spill over at any moment.

He panted heavily as he began to suck on the base of your neck, “I love you…God, I love you.” he whispered.

The words threw you off guard for a moment as your eyes widened, but you didn’t stop, nor were you scared to say it back. “I love you too.” you responded breathlessly.

That phrase had gone unspoken between the two of you for years, constantly avoiding saying it to each other for no reason at all. Perhaps it was stubbornness, or just the fear of the feelings not being reciprocated. But for whatever reason, this moment alone brought it out to the open. And it couldn’t have felt better.

Daryl thrusted deeper into you upon hearing your response, causing you to gasp as you felt the string finally snap inside you, releasing your orgasm as your muscles twitched. Feeling you squeezing him, he cursed as he quickly pulled himself out of you in one swift motion, cumming all over your stomach. You could’ve sworn your vision went black for a moment as you slowly came down from your blissful high, not a word being said for a few minutes at least as you both tried to regain yourselves.

His head rested against your chest again, his lips beginning to leave a trail of kisses up your skin as your eyes were still hazy, leading them up to your neck where he nuzzled his face, pulling you close to his chest. You hummed in response, running your fingers through his hair as you thought to yourself for a moment, finally finding the strength to speak.

“Did you…really mean that?” you whispered hesitantly.

He pulled his face back to look at you, his head still too far up in the clouds that he clearly didn’t hear you. The big grin on his face was evidence of that. “Hm?”

You huffed with a small smile, “The whole…I love you thing…did you really mean it? Or was it like the heat of the moment.”

His brows furrowed in concern as he gently cupped the sides of your face, “Of course I meant it. I love you.” he repeated again, as if to make sure you really heard him.

You smiled in slight relief, “Did you mean it?” he asked with a smirk.

“Yes.” you said with a breathy laugh, “I just…wanted to make sure.”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, darlin,” he said as he leaned in to rub his nose against yours lovingly, “I’ve always loved ya…my dumbass just took too long to admit it.”

You shook your head in response, “It’s okay. I understand why.”

He sighed quietly as he thought about how much he may have missed out on, how much went down the drain just because he was scared. Not only to have his heartbroken, but to potentially lose one of his best friends if you didn’t feel the same way he did. There was always a risk, but he let the fear consume him, and now he was kicking himself for it seeing how easy it was to be with you. He should’ve always known, and now he felt he was too late.

You quickly noticed his change in his expression and gently tilted his chin up so he’d look at you, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

He shook his head, “M’ just…m’ sorry.”

“For what?” you asked in confusion.

“For not actin on this years ago. For pushin ya away when I was hurtin just because I was nervous about it happenin all over again.” he stopped suddenly to gather his thoughts, “I just feel like I wasted so much time.” he finished with a whisper.

Your face was filled with worry about hearing him apologize for something that he had nothing to be sorry for. It hurt you seeing how much this was affecting him, knowing that the two of you should be happy that it finally happened. Not wanting to dwell on the past.

You leaned in to gently kiss his lips for a moment, pulling away enough to speak, “Well, it’s a good thing we got all the time in the world now.” you smiled.

His eyes slowly filled with a little more hope, “You mean…”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I love you.”

He let out a small breath he was unaware he was holding, pulling you close to press multiple kisses all over your face, “I love you too.” he whispered, continuing to trace his lips wherever he could reach, igniting an infectious laugh from you.

It seemed his prayers were answered.

~ Thanks for reading!

244 notes · View notes

nr1chaedickrider · 18 hours

Text

I can only be me when i'm by your side - i'm not a monster.

As time passes recovering, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

cw: fluff, smut, angst, petnames, virgin!reader, sweet girl!jihyo, popular but not so popular!jihyo, basketball player!jihyo, both are 18 but they are students, mentions of death, drunk confessions, they fall in love pretty fast, lwk rushed, lmk if there is more ^_^, ~ 4k words

if you're thinking "hm! i read this fic somewhere... yes! its my heeseung fic from my bg blog @adorwoo ! which i wanted to use for jihyo !^_^ hope you enjoy anyway.

men dni.

It's not your fault.

It's not your...

Is it really?

The rain beats down on your black umbrella, the lines from Dahyun's letter playing over and over in your head. It feels like you're trapped in a vicious cycle, not being able to think of anything else.

But why?

Why didn't she tell you?

Were all those conversations about the mutual trust between you two a lie? Was it just talk to keep you from worrying?

If someone had told you a week ago that you had to be at her funeral because she had killed herself, you would have laughed at that person. Dahyun was always the happiest person you've ever met.

Even if you had been told that a day ago, you wouldn't have believed it. Because in theory, it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard.

In his letter, she wrote about how much she loved you, how she enjoyed every minute and every moment with you, how it's not your fault that she's not here anymore.

She's probably right, not just probably. She's right, and you know it. But you can't stop blaming yourself. Someone has to take the blame. Someone is responsible.

You could have helped her.

You should have helped her.

Tears run down your cheeks as you stare at her grave. Her family, her friends, they are all gone. You stand here alone, not daring to leave.

'Kim Dahyun

Born on may 28, 1998.

A friend, daughter and lover.

She will continue to live in our souls.'

It feels like your eyes are glued to the writing, you can't look away. You try to regulate your breathing, taking a deep breath.

A sigh leaves your mouth as you place the white rose next to the gravestone.

You take one last look at her grave before turning and slowly walking away.

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all."

You look at the students in front of you, all of them giving you strange looks. Of course, you are a new student, but you feel uncomfortable under their gaze. The teacher smiles at you and tells you where to sit, next to a girl called Mina.

It's as if everyone has forgotten about you again as the teacher starts teaching. You sit down next to Mina and she smiles at you.

"Nice to meet you," she whispers. You smile at her.

You can't talk to her for long because she starts taking notes for the lesson. You look around at the faces of the others. It actually looks like a normal class, but your eyes land on a girl.

She looks shorter than you, her hair is brown as well as her eyes. She's wearing a white t-shirt.

"Have you laid your eye on someone?" asks Mina, laughing a little.

"No!" you answer, a little too loudly, and you put your head on the table as a few people look at you. "I was just looking at her," you whisper.

"Yeah yeah... that's what they all say" she says.

You slowly lose yourself in your thoughts as memories of Dahyun come flooding back.

Should you even look at other girls? Is it bad?

Would Dahyun hate you for trying to find love again?

It's been more than two months since she died, but you can't stop thinking about her.

Maybe it's normal, your behavior. Your overthinking of everything, maybe you're not the only person who feels this way? Maybe there is someone else who is just as lost in their thoughts as you are.

Maybe you are simply not alone.

However, your thoughts are interrupted by the bell and Mina.

"I can show you a few things here at school if you want," she suggests, and you gratefully accept her help.

You spend the whole lunch break running after her while she shows you around.

"Why did you change schools anyway? Your old one is a pretty well-known one, and much better than here," she asks, before taking a bite of her sandwich.

The question makes you wonder, and you think about whether you should just lie to her and say that you moved, or that you were somehow bullied at your school - but somehow it feels wrong. Because you neither moved nor were you bullied. No, everything was actually fine.

Actually,

Somehow everything changed after her death.

Your classmates started looking at you funny, and you still don't know whether they are looks of pity or looks of condemnation because they blame you.

"I don't know" is your answer, and somehow it's true. Sometimes you really have no idea why you changed schools, but Mina doesn't need to know the whole truth.

She just nods in response as she continues to eat.

"The girl you were looking at in English, her name is Jihyo by the way" she says.

What?

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask.

"Because you were staring at her a lot - you looked really interested in her" she replies with a little grin.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't staring at her..." you laugh a little, but can't hide your despair. Why does she think you're interested in her?

"Watch out!" someone shouts, but before you can react, a basketball hits you.

You fall to the floor, your head hurts and you feel slightly dizzy as you slowly open your eyes.

The girl from your English class is kneeling on the floor in front of you, looking at you, trying to see if you're okay.

It's like a cliché high school movie.

"Are you okay?" she asks, a couple of other girls come over, but she just tells them to get something to cool off and shoos them away.

The things that can happen when you want to visit the gym...

You nod slowly, after a few blinks your vision is no longer blurry.

Another girl comes back and hands Jihyo a cold pack.

"Here, take this," she says and puts it in your hand, her hand on your shoulder to support you.

You hold it to your head, biting the inside of your cheek slightly from the cold.

Before she can say anything else, she is called by his coach, at the same moment Mina comes to you.

"I was looking for you," she says and helps you up.

You watch Jihyo jogging across the field before you leave the gym.

New week, new luck?

Every day you tried desperately to talk to Jihyo somehow, but suddenly she was always gone after class and you were never put in a group together.

But it looks like luck is on your side for once.

"Here's the list of groups, you have to give a presentation in pairs on a play of your choice," your English teacher announces.

You look at the picture projected on the wall.

Chaeyoung and Mina,

Sana and Miyeon,

Jihyo and Y/n,

Jeongyeon and...

Wait, what?

You read the list again and once more you see your name and Jihyo's name next to each other.

"Jihyo and Y/n," you say quietly.

"Are you happy?" Mina asks teasingly with a grin on her lips.

"Are you happy that you have to work with Chaeyoung?" you ask back - Mina doesn't answer.

Before your teacher can give you any more homework for the break, the school bell rings and everyone rushes out of the classroom.

You walk (or rather, run) to Jihyo who is packing her things away.

"Hey, I was wondering when we should meet," you say, and she looks up at you and smiles. You feel your cheeks turning red.

She puts on his backpack and stands up.

"How about Friday afternoon? My place?" she suggests and you nod.

She takes a pen from her pocket, "Give me your hand," she says, you are confused but do it anyway.

She opens the pen with her mouth, the cap between her teeth as she gently writes on your hand.

Her phone number.

It feels like she's giving you an autograph.

"Text me and I'll send you my address," she says, and before you can answer, she walks out of the room.

You look down at your hand and see a little smiley face next to her number.

You can't help but giggle as you look at it.

You stare at your phone - up to her front door and back down to your phone.

You are 10 minutes early and don't dare to ring the doorbell.

"You know you can just ring the bell?" someone asks you, you look up and see Jihyo smiling at you.

"I'm early, that's why-"

"Not a problem," she interrupts you.

She lets you in and closes the door behind her.

Her house is beautiful, modern and yet somehow old-fashioned.

"My parents aren't here, so I thought we could study in the living room," she says, and you nod, leaning your backpack against the table.

"Water?" she asks and you take it gratefully.

You drink a little before she sits down across from you.

You both leaf through the books, take notes, talk briefly about certain passages, but otherwise no one says anything.

Jihyo decides to break the awkward atmosphere.

"I wanted to apologize again, for the basketball," she says, and you laugh a little.

"You don't have to apologize, things like that can happen," you reply.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asks, and instead of answering, you are completely silent, thinking.

Memories of Dahyun come back while Jihyo looks at you and waits for your answer.

"Yes, I did, but she died a few months ago," you answer.

She nods slightly, "Can I ask how he died?" she asks in a quiet, polite tone, as if she really wants to make sure that she's asking something that doesn't hurt you in any way.

"Suicide," you say, short and meager, without many details (whether you know many details at all is another question).

She looks at you with a supportive look, one that makes you feel like she's really listening and that she really understands you.

Maybe she understands you even more than you think?

She puts her hand on yours with a slight smile.

"Thank you for confiding in me," she says, your cheeks slightly flushed, hers too.

You both look at each other for a moment before she lets go and you both go back to work.

If only the work had gone on for longer.

After the one meeting, you saw her every day of the vacation. Always with the excuse that you supposedly "need to add something" (does going to the movies together add something to your project?).

It's been more than a week since you first met.

"You're in love," Mina says as she parks her car in front of Jihyo's house.

"I-"

"Don't even try to find an excuse, it's all good" she replies with a small grin.

You both get out of the car and walk to her house, the music so loud you can hear it several meters away.

How Jihyo, who is slightly drunk, hears the doorbell is also a mystery to you.

"Hey guys!" she greets you, she shakes Mina's hand and gives her a kind of high five, she gives you a hug.

You smile at her as the three of you walk into the living room.

"I'm going to Chaeyoung," Mina whispers, or rather shouts, in your ear before disappearing.

"Y/n, do you want to play a drinking game with us?" asks Jihyo, you nod.

Maybe it was a stupid decision.

Jihyo and her friends (of whom you only know Jeongyeon) only understand drinking games to mean taking shots and asking stupid questions.

Either answer - or drink.

You always chose the second option.

After about 7 questions (maybe more, maybe less - you lost count of that pretty fast) you get up and say that you need some fresh air.

Since you've been to her house several times, you know where the upstairs balcony is.

It's quite big, with a parasol and two folding chairs. You sit down on one and close your eyes, your head throbs a little.

"Are you okay?" someone asks after a few minutes.

To your surprise (not really a surprise), Jihyo stands next to you before sitting down on the chair to your right.

"Yeah, it's just the alcohol," you say.

You and alcohol, not really a good combination.

Especially not when you're sitting next to the girl you're in love with.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" you ask out of nowhere.

She shakes his head, "I thought it was obvious" she says and laughs a little.

"I love you" you confess.

She turns to you, but before he can answer anything, you keep talking.

"I know we haven't known each other that long... a month?? more? less? but-... I just have this feeling with you that I only used to have with her"

"I thought I'd never feel it again," you say, a tear running down your cheek.

Jihyo looks at you, her eyes slightly watery.

Is she crying too?

"Y/n" she says, interrupting your continued rambling.

She gets up, kneels down in front of your chair, and -

kisses you.

Her soft lips on yours.

She pulls away after just a few seconds and you already feel like you miss her lips.

"I love you too Y/n" she says softly.

You look at her in amazement.

"Really?" you ask.

"That's why I asked if you had a girlfriend" now it all makes so much more sense.

She pulls you up and takes you to the guest room. She tries to lay you down on the bed but you pull her with you and she falls on top of you.

You both stare at each other and laugh a little.

"You're drunk, get some rest," she says, kissing your forehead.

"I'll be here when you wake up"

And she really is next to you when you wake up.

"Good morning..." you groan as you rub your eyes.

She smiles at you, "good morning" she says, from the look on her face you suspect she woke up just a few minutes before you.

You pull her closer to you by her collar and kiss her, she kisses you back while her hand is on your cheek.

The kiss is just perfect, gentle, slow, a perfect way to start his morning.

But it can also be perfect in another way.

It gets warmer under the covers as you continue kissing, she kisses down your jaw to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses on it. You can't help but rub your thighs together a little.

"What about the others?" you ask.

"I kicked them out yesterday after you fell asleep" she says, continuing to kiss your neck, even nibbling on it, making you let out soft moans.

"Jihyo, I think you should know that I am a virgin" you say, your cheeks heating up a little in embarrassment.

She giggles a little, kissing you on the lips again.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about baby" she replies with a smile.

She gets on top of you, continuing to kiss you.

You think kissing Jihyo is the best thing in the world.

Her hands trail over your body, giving you a soft squeeze here and there.

"Can I?" she asks, her hand playing with the buttons on your pants.

"Please" you answer with a smile.

She complies and opens them, pulling off your pants and leaving you in your underwear.

You sit up a little, your hands on her waist, feeling up her muscles, especially her abs.

"Want me to take it off?" she asks, you nod.

She pulls off her shirt over her head, dropping it somewhere on the floor.

Your finger trails up his stomach to her bra, looking at her like she is a work of art (she definetly is one).

"Done admiring me?" she asks with a teasing grin, to which you reply "never".

She leans down again, kissing your face as she starts to trail them down till he arrives at the waistband of your underwear.

"Can I?" she asks again, "yes" you answer, already out of breath.

She takes your underwear off, her hands placed on your thighs as she leaves kisses everywhere.

You can definetly tell that she has a thing for kissing.

When she places a kiss right on your clit though, you let out a small moan.

She begins licking and sucking on it, making you grab her hair with your hands as your fingers curl deeper into her scalp, leaving a delicious burn.

She drags her tongue down as she circles your core, slowly entering it a little.

You let out more moans as you turn your head to the side, moaning into the pillow.

Her tongue feels so good when you realise that you are closer and closer to your climax.

"Jihyo- I think I'm gonna-"

"Let it out princess" she mumbles against your core, the vibrations of her voice stimulating you even more as you cum into her mouth.

She smiles at you as he sits up, watching you coming down from your high.

You smile back at him as your cheeks turn red again.

"Can I?" she asks, her fingers trailing down your soft skin as her nails scratch you a little.

You look at her hand, a few veins poking out, her fingers thin but long.

You look at her again, nodding.

You pulled her closer as she rubs your clit with her fingers, you suck in your breath as she slowly pushes them in, the little stretch burning in a way that makes you even hornier.

She slips them in completly, you let out a moan in response. She takes your hand with her free one as your fingers intertwine.

She starts to slowly thrust into you, kissing you again as her tongue explores your mouth.

"You're so tight baby.." she mumbles into your mouth.

You can't help but let out louder moans when she starts to speed up a little.

Her fingers drive you crazy, it feels like she is everywhere, you feel her everywhere in your body as she exits and enters you.

"P-please jihyo- faster" you moan out, and who would she be if she wouldn't listen to your wishes?

She speeds up her thrusts, kissing down your neck again as her hot breath hits your skin.

Your hand grips the pillow your hand is laying on, moaning against your arm as you can feel Jihyo curling her fingers.

She thrusts into you again before you moan loudly, cumming as your thighs close around her wrist, panting heavily as she lets herself fall onto the spot next to you.

You both stare at the ceiling, the only sounds the heavy breathing from you.

You move her hand to yours and intertwine your fingers. She moves her head to the side to look at you, smiling.

You think seeing her smiling is something you can never get enough of.

Idiots in love, thats how you two can be described.

The next few months were full of love. Kisses here, kisses there. It didn't even have to be sexual, no, it was always romantic, no matter what you did together.

After a few months, she gave you a ring.

"One day I'll buy you an expensive, real diamond ring and ask you to marry me," she said, and since then you've both worn the matching rings without taking them off once.

If only it had stayed that way.

It's late at night, you're lying in bed reading a book when you get a message.

"I love you,

I'm sorry" - from Jihyo.

You sit up and stare at your cell phone.

"What's wrong?" you type and send the message, she replies,

"I can't take it anymore"

She can't take it anymore?

You feel a twinge in your head as you suddenly realize something.

It's too similar to Dahyun's goodbye.

"I can't live in this world anymore" she wrote in her text.

You look at her location, and without hesitation you walk, no - storm out of your apartment and run to her.

She's not far away, a bridge situated over a river only 5 minutes away, and you think you've never been so grateful for anything.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to see anything while your clothes get wetter and wetter, the rain completly drenches you.

Again it feels like a cliché love drama.

Only maybe this time you have the chance to have a happy ending.

Your legs are burning from all the running as you arrive on the bridge.

"Jihyo!" you shout, the rain pattering loudly on the asphalt, forcing you to shout even louder for her.

Her bike is right next to her, one leg over the railing, her hands gripping it tightly, as if she's...

Scared?

"Y/n?" she answers, her voice low and shaky.

"Please..." you say as you walk slowly towards her.

She doesn't stop you when you take her hand in yours.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, she looks at you as a tear runs down her cheek.

"I-... I didn't want you to worry. I thought this feeling would go away if I didn't talk to anyone about it," she says.

Whether your face is wet from the rain or your tears, you don't know.

"Believe me, you have to talk to me, then it will get better," you say.

Her face comes closer to yours and, without answering, she kisses you.

You kiss her back, try to grab her so you can hold her closer - but she lets go.

Completely.

You slowly open your eyes, afraid of what you will see - but you see nothing.

No one.

The rain completely overwhelms you.

"No..." you whisper, looking down on the floor and picking up something shiny.

Her ring.

You look out over the railing and see the water turning slightly red.

It feels like you're trapped in a vicious circle, like you'll never find peace again.

You are trapped, with no way out.

While other people find the rain soothing, you find it to be more like torture.

While other people would stay indoors in weather like this, you're outside again.

Again in front of a grave.

But this time it's Jihyo's.

Everything feels too similar and you hate it more than anything.

"It's not your fault" is a sentence you started to hate.

You hoped so much that you would never have to hear or read it again.

"Why didn't you talk to me..." you whisper, as if she could hear you.

Your hand clutches the letter, it slowly getting soaked by the rain.

You don't dare to move.

"You knew what happened..."

All time does is passing -

"Why did you hide it from me..." Your voice is full of despair.

And all you ever do is grieve.

"Life without you is no way to live" the white flower falls on his grave -

just like her ring,

engraved with your name.

She helped you recover from Dahyun's death.

You just wish you wouldn't have to recover over her death alone now.

In another universe, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

In this universe, you're left alone,

again.

122 notes · View notes

bisexualiteaa · 14 hours

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Feo, Fuerte Y Formal

Pre-Ghoul/Pre-War Cooper Howard x Fem Reader (FLUFF!!)

CW: sickeningly sweet domestic Cooper, Pre-Ghoul copper, cursing, dancing in the kitchen, talk of marriage, talk of kids, mentions of his divorce, mention of alcohol (nothing crazy though) potential grammatical and spelling errors! Briefly proof-read! Slightly suggestive themes (cooper can’t keep his hands off his pretty girl 🤭)

AN: For all my Cooper Howard lovers who have been asking for him Pre-Ghoul/Pre-War I finally present one to you! I know most of you wanted smut, but honestly for some reason this just felt more like what Pre-War life with Cooper would feel like in my opinion. I feel as if maybe I know more of him in ghoul form to know better how to write smut for the ghoul side of him, but who knows! I may just have to come out with a part two that is just smut of him after he gets married to reader, still pre war, thoughts? 👀 anyway, I hope y’all enjoy! Hope I can do my pre-ghoul loving Cooper lovelies justice for this! 🥰

Also in celebration of international jazz day, I included jazz music! The songs Cooper and reader dance to in their kitchen incase y’all want a more immersive experience! ☺️ I know Michael Bublé’s version isn’t exactly in that time period but his version just feels so much more intimate in my opinion, but feel free to listen to the original if you wish instead!

Tag list: @expirednukacola

It was like any other day in your quaint little home. You were standing by the stove, working on food for dinner for you and Cooper waiting for him to come home from work. You were just finished up with mixing up the mashed potatoes with a mixer when you heard keys jingle in the front door to your house. You smiled giddily as you heard the door open, the clomp of Cooper’s signature cowboy boots across the linoleum floor as your man stepped inside. “Welcome home honey!” You called from the kitchen as he took his shoes off in the entrance of the house, padding into the kitchen once disposing of his work bag and cowboy hat on the hangers near the living room. “How lovely it is to see your face after a long day” he said, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. You gave a contented hum as he rested his head against your shoulder before placing a sweet kiss to your cheek, not wanting to distract you from the absolute art that was your cooking. “How was work?” You asked, making him chuckle as he stood next to you, watching you as you put your heart and soul into the gravy for the mashed potatoes and pot roast finishing up in the oven. “Oh you know, the usual. Kinda pissed that ain’t nothin’ special happen today” he said, making you turn to him. “All that fuss of bringin’ you in on your day off, just for it t’ be a load a nothin’?” You asked, upset for him that they would do that to him, of course it wasn’t the first time this had occurred, he’d been called in on his days off quite often actually. But it never really upset you, not when you knew it made him happy and when at the end of the day, he’d always come home to you. “Yeah…never fails” he said, making you shake your head. “Figures. I oughta have a chat with that agent of yours to letchya off the hook every now an ‘gain. A day off is meant to be enjoyed! To relax! Not to come straight back into work with more stress than there already is to begin with” you said, making him chuckle at the threatening way you held the spatula in his direction with gravy dripping off it into the pot. “I’m sorry again we couldn’t go to that jazz concert ya wanted to go see” he said, making you somber for a moment remembering the cute plans you’d made for today since he was supposed to be off, but were ruined the moment he answered that damned phone that almost never stops ringing. “Oh don’t you sweat it, darlin’. Been listenin’ to it in the radio! Figured we could have our own little at home date and just enjoy it from the radio, whatdya say?” You asked with a hopeful smile, and he loved the way you always managed to find the positives in even the worst situations. “Sounds good to me if it’s good with you darlin’” he said, pulling you in by the hip to give you a quick, soft kiss. You smiled into it before swatting his hands as he tried to distract you from cooking by letting his hands wander. “Now now, after super, mister. Besides, I worked hard on this pot roast! I’d be cross if it went cold!” You said, making him laugh. He loved your attitude and dedication to your craft, it was just a few of the many things he loved about you truly. As a man fresh from divorce, you sure knew how to make him feel like a brand new man.

He helped you in setting everything out in the table, carrying the pot of mashed potatoes, and the gravy as you made it very clear you needed to place down the pot roast. “Everythin’ smells delicious sweet pea” he said, making you smile proudly as you set down the roast on a mitt to keep the wooden table safe from warping from the heat of the roast pan. “Mmm-MM! Damn honey, looks about as good as you” he said suavely, coming back with two glasses and a bottle of your favorite wine. “Picked this up on the way home as an apology for date night AND!” He said before excitedly going and grabbing flowers from his bag to present you with. You gasped as you saw the beautiful assortment of roses he got you, covering your mouth with your hand as you took them. “Coop! Awww, honey ya shouldn’t have!” You said, hugging him for them and the wine before he found a vase for you to put them in. “They’re gorgeous! Oh gosh you spoil me” you said, making him laugh as he held you close once taking them from your hold so he could be the center of your attention at that moment. “Anything for you honey, it’s the least I could do. Besides, you deserve a man who treats ya like I’m still trynna win ya over, an’ I’m always gonna do that” he said, smiling down at you before kissing you once more. “Well, you are certainly forgiven. Especially now” you said playfully, both of you chuckling amongst each other as he swayed you back and forth to the music. “Alright, c’mon lover boy. Let’s eat ‘fore it gets cold, yeah?” You asked with a smile before moving to sit your self-designated seats at the dinner table, smiling as you popped open the bottle of wine to pour you both a glass after helping yourself to a plate full. He gave a hum in delight at the first taste of your cooking, making you giggle as you cut into your roast before taking a bite. “You are truly a god send. How you make the most delicious food, delicious desserts, I made out” he said, making you giggle once more, a well cooked carrot on the tip of your fork. “What can I say? Mama raised a good one. She really wanted me to get married and give her some grand babies, so had a kick ass teacher” you replied, popping the carrot into your mouth once you’d finished talking with a grin stretched to your pretty lips. “Imma have to thank her myself again when I see her next then, because you are a god damn angel” he said, making you laugh as he continued to compliment you and shout pleased expletives as your delicious home cooked meal.

Once you’d both finished up with dinner, the dishes quickly found their way into the dishwasher and it wasn’t long before you both were slow dancing in your shared kitchen. You smiled up at him as the song that played when you two met, then when you first got together, and on your first date began to play. What luck it was that it would end up playing!

How lucky can one guy be?

I kissed her and she kissed me.

Like the fella once said,

“Ain’t that a kick in the head?”

You smiled and giggled as you both swayed to the upbeat song, listening to the singer who did a mighty fine impression of Dean Martin in your opinion. You watched as Cooper happily began singing along, making all sorts of funny faces as he got into it, loving the way it always made you smile.

The room was completely black.

I hugged her and she hugged back.

Like the sailor said, quote,

“Ain’t that a hole in the boat?”

My head keeps spinning.

I go to sleep and keep grinning.

If this is just the beginning,

My life is gonna be beautiful.

You started to sing along with him, unable to deny just the purely happy energy almost radiating from him, as if he was singing this song and singing it about you. Your smile stretched so wide it almost hurt your cheeks, seeing those cute little dimples that rested in his when he was truly and genuinely happy.

I’ve got sunshine enough to spread.

It’s just like the fella said,

“Tell me quick: ain’t love a kick in the head?”

Like the fella once said,

“Ain’t that a kick in the head?”

Like the sailor said, quote,

“Ain’t that a hole in the boat?”

My head keeps spinning.

I go to sleep and keep grinning.

If this is just the beginning,

My life is gonna be beautiful.

She’s telling me we’ll be wed.

She’s picked out a king-size bed.

I couldn’t feel any better or I’d be sick.

Tell me quick, oh, ain’t love a kick?

Tell me quick, ain’t love a kick in the head?

He smiled as he swayed you back and forth, looking at you and singing to you before twirling you in front of him, watching the skirt of your dress billow out around you as you spun. Before the song came to an end, he dipped you, holding you up with an arm resting in the dip of your lower back as your arms looped around his neck. His lips connected with yours, his heart racing as he looked at you, feeling as happy as the upbeat rhythm of the song. Your one hand cradled his cheek as you kissed, passionately and sweetly before he brought you back up. “Reminds me of the day we first met” you said with a happy smile, remembering that day well. You had been in attendance to your best friend’s little girl’s birthday party where they hired Cooper to do his titular cowboy stunts to entertain the children, but over time as the kids talked and played amongst each other, you’d bravely strewn up to him, thanks to enjoying a few martinis before hand. You’d told him how much of a fan you were, and struck up conversation with him by the radio that was playing music that the kids were dancing to and that song so happened to be one of them. You two hit it off enough that you’d actually talked all night, even after the time he was paid to be there for. “Okay you two, my wallet can only handle the great Cooper Howard for so long” your best friend said, making you blush and apologize for holding him up so long. “Say no more ma’am, I’ll get outta your hair. But you, pretty lady, I would love to keep in touch with” he said, and you could have shit your pants as he gave you a napkin with his phone number written on with. You hadn’t expected THE Cooper Howard to actually want to talk to you, let alone become something akin to friends! And yet here you were, living in a nice little house out in the farmlands with him. It was like a dream come true. It was right after that song that played, that another came through the speakers that you enjoyed dancing to. You smiled as you took his hands to lead the dance.

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me, sway with ease

When we dance, you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

You mouthed the lyrics to the song as you focused on the intimate dance you’d both learned. His hands cascaded down from your arms, down your waist then rested on your hips as you both swayed to the rhythm. A smirk donned his lips as he recalled the first time you both ever danced to this song, as if the chemistry between you was so strong, so natural that the dance hardly even needed to be taught to you.

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have that magic technique

When we sway, I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth, sway me now

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have that magic technique

When we sway, I go weak

He never failed to steal your heart with the skillful way he would twirl you and dip you deeply to the loud sound of the trumpets reaching the peak at the end of that verse. You smiled up at him as your lips ghosted his, coming so close to brushing against his before pulling you back up to continue the fast paced dance to the song.

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth, sway me now

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me, sway with ease

When we dance you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

When marimbas start to play

Hold me close, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me, sway with ease

When we dance, you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

As the song came to its end, he twirled you in front of him, jumping between facing him and having your back turned to him as your feet stepped around one another’s and bodies swayed in tandem together like the fluid motion of water brushing against the sand of a beach. You smiled brightly as he dipped you once more, your arms looped around his neck as you lifted your one leg to rest against his hip, his one hand holding you up and his free one resting along the back of your thigh that rested against him. “Still got it” he said confidently, making you chuckle. “Never doubted that you did” you quipped, enjoying this intimate, peaceful moment together. “I love you, so damn much Y/N” He said as leaned down, making you grin just a little bit wider at his kind, heart spoken words. “I love you so damn much too, Cooper Howard” you said, making him hum at the use of his full name, feeling your fingers brushing his cheek as your eyes flit between his and his lips before pulling him into a more heated, passionate kiss than the ones you shared earlier. With a little wine in both of your systems and having not seen one another since the early hours of the morning, it left you rather caught up in the moment and wanting of one another.

“Before I get too carried away now, I did get ya another gift. Been hangin’ onto it for a while now, and well…it didn’t feel right to give it to ya ‘til now” he said, making you playfully slap his chest at the fact that he fussed enough over you guys missing a concert to get you so many gifts to make up for something so small. “Cooper Howard! You and the gifts, you’re startin’ to make me look like a spoiled princess!” You chewed him out, making him laugh, he knew you hated it when he fussed over you but he just couldn’t help himself. In his eyes you deserved the world, and god damn it would he make sure he could give it to you. “I do it ‘cause I want to, honey. Don’t you worry” he said, making you stand with your hands on your hips giving him a playful glare. “Just close your eyes for me, would ya sugar? And before ya chew me out some more, I think you’ll find that you’re gonna love it” he said sweetly, and of course you did what he asked, ever curious of why he was playing this gift up so much. “If you’re tryin’ to play any moves on me, might I remind you that the kitchen blinds are still open? Don’t need to be givin’ Betty-Sue and her husband Harold a view straight from one of them magazines” you said, making him give a hearty laugh in response. “Well maybe I should close the blinds then, but I got a feelin’ it’ll have you screamin’ in a different kinda way sugar” he replied, and you couldn’t help the blush that tickled to your cheeks. “Well now you got me guessin’” you said, a little anxious now to see what it was he’d gotten for you. “Well then stop guessin’. Open your eyes and find out” he said, and the gasp that left your lips you swore could have been heard from the next house down. “Cooper!!” You yelled loud enough to also likely be heard a few doors over, with tears coming to your eyes as you saw him standing there on one knee, a gorgeous diamond ring resting in the box he had outstretched to you. “Oh my god, Coop…you did not” you said through chuckles and happy tears, making him beam up at you. “I sure did. I’d be doin’ you, myself, and your mama one hell of a disservice if I didn’t put a ring on that gorgeous finger a yours for all the things you done for me. You stuck by me through all the nasty shit in the divorce, you’ve done nothin’ but love and care for little Janey as if she were your own, and by god if you ain’t the most beautiful woman I’ve ever gotten the honor of knowin’” he said, making you cover your mouth with your hands as you listened to him. “You got my whole heart Y/N, even when I thought none of it was left, you found it and put it right back together. And that’s a whole hell of a lot more than what this ol’ boy could ever ask for” he said, making you chuckle at him calling himself old when he wasn’t really. “So whatdya say? Will you marry me?” He asked, making you shake your head yes about as vigorously as you could without running the risk of getting whiplash. “Yes! A million times yes. I’ll marry you Coop” you said, making him smile as he picked you up in his arms, twirling you both around in celebratory fashion with shared happy laughter. As he set you down, he kissed you once more before sliding that gorgeous diamond ring on your finger. You smiled as you looked down at it, so overjoyed, so overflown with love you just couldn’t help but kiss him again. “It’s beautiful Cooper, thank you” you said sweetly, making him pull your hand up to his lips as he pressed them to your knuckles. “No, thank you sweetheart. For everything you do for this stubborn son of a gun” he said, making you giggle once more at him before pressing your forehead to his, closing your eyes to enjoy the peaceful quiet in this beautiful, intimate moment together.

“Well shit, I suppose you’ve done and earned the right to dessert now after everything” you said teasingly, breaking the silence and making him whistle excitedly at the prospect of what your words had in store. You yelped in surprise then laughed as he picked you up bridal style, carrying you to your shared bedroom with all the excitement of a couple still in their honeymoon phase. You supposed now it wouldn’t be long until you actually had a honeymoon with him. “Cooper! Good lord! You are just full of it today” you said through laughs as he brought you into the bedroom, grinning as he closed the door behind him with his foot. The poor man just couldn’t get enough of you, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it. “Don’t get me wrong I love your cookin’ sugar, but I’d be a lyin’ sack a shit if I said havin’ you for dessert afterwards wasn’t my favorite part” he said, making you laugh as he set you on the soft, king sized bed you two shared. “Well then come get a piece of your future bride then, cowpoke” you said with a smirk, and he ain’t never grinned wider than after hearing those words leave your mouth.

#fallout #cooper howard #fallout x reader #cooper howard x reader #asks #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #fallout tv series #fallout tv show #Spotify

116 notes · View notes

godslino · 1 day

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IN BLOOM | jisung first date series. second chance lovers.

pairing: jisung x fem!reader word count: 13.2k genre: childhood friends au, angst, fluff, songwriter!jisung, florist!reader warnings: swearing, minor character death, grief/loss (nothing to do with any of the members!) summary: it's february. the tulips are in bloom. jisung is back.

a/n: *taps mic* hello?? is this thing on?? oh good. yes. hi. hello! it's been a while, as most of you can tell. thank you all SO MUCH for sticking around. if you've been reading my asks you'll know that march and april were rough months for me personally. shout out to my anons and mutuals who kept my spirits high and made my days brighter. uhhh, this was originally supposed to be a stand alone fic but i figured hey, what the hell, and made it into jisung's first date chapter. it's pretty heavy stuff. lots of feelings, lots of love. i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it! again, thank you so much for waiting for me. i'll be back soon with more updates! all the love <3

also thank you kenzie for being such a light during all of this. i hope all my screaming in your messages was worth it!

“All of these had to be pulled.” Hyunjin huffs, dropping a few crates just past the doorway.

“Again?” you ask, hands on your hips as you stare at yet another wasted supply. “I don’t understand, they sold so well last year.”

Hyunjin gives you a sad smile. “It’ll pick up eventually, don’t worry. I mean the holidays just finished and business usually slows down in the months after anyways.”

He’s being sincere, you know that. But there’s a part of you that also knows it’s a lot more than just the usual ebb and flow of sales. He’s being nice for your sake.

“Maybe we could try coming up with other ideas?” he suggests, because Hyunjin is nothing if not kind. Always willing, always finding a way.

He moves past you to grab a fresh pair of gloves. The ones he’s wearing are dirty, pollen-stained and ripped at the edges.

“You’ve always been really good at basket arrangements. We could try to make some for Valentine's Day. Different sizes, maybe? The big ones will probably do well for online orders since they’re more optimal for things like office deliveries and stuff like that.”

You hum in approval. “True. I mean, I was kind of worried we would have to skip out on deliveries this year since we don’t have the manpower to handle all of that, but I think Jeongin’s been looking to pick up hours around here again. He said something about his program giving them a month of independent study, so he’ll be home for a bit.” you say, scribbling down a reminder in your notebook. “I could ask him to help with driving the truck in his free time?”

Hyunjin lights up– he always does when Jeongin is mentioned.

It’s been a lot quieter ever since he left for college. There were so many tears and so many hugs that were met with countless 'you guys are dramatic's in return. But it’s hard to not feel sad when people leave town; when they decide the borders lined with apple trees and rice fields aren’t enough to stop their dreams from blooming into more than what’s capable of being pursued here.

That, unsurprisingly, is something you know all too well.

“Can’t believe he’s driving.” Hyunjin laments as he wipes his floral scissors with a rag. “I used to spend my days changing his diapers and spoon feeding him redbulls– but now? Driving? My baby is all grown up.” he fake sniffles. “By the way, I’m gonna take my fifteen after I’m done snipping these tulips.”

You snort, bending down to take the crates of wilted flowers to the back for disposal. Hyunjin moves to help but you shake him off.

“Sounds good. Also, don’t let Innie hear you say that. I’m about a thousand percent sure he has the strength needed to throw you into the dumpster with one arm now.”

“My baby would never do that to me!” Hyunjin calls out as you round the corner, bumping open the back door with your hip.

February brings a lot of rain in Jeju. Today is no different; fat drops landing on your head as soon as you stumble out into the alley behind the shop. Footsteps heavy on wet brick, you curse under your breath as you run as fast as you can to the dumpster.

There’s still a few supply boxes from yesterday’s shipment laying around. You meant to bring them in, but you were so exhausted that it slipped your mind while you struggled to make sure everything inside the shop was figured out.

Scrambling, you haul them in one by one, shoes squeaking against the floor as you alternate in and out, soggy cardboard pressed against the front of your apron.

Hyunjin’s on break. A necessary one at that. You can’t bother him, especially not when he’s done enough by taking on more responsibility both as a physical worker and a newly actualized business partner recently. A few stacks of boxes and wet hair seem like a fair trade off for what he’s had to sacrifice in the past year now.

“Idiot,” you mumble, cursing yourself for carelessness. Your slip ups have been more frequent lately, evident in the way you constantly forget things and can’t seem to push away the haziness clouding your mind.

If it weren’t for the timing of it all, you’d blame it on the weather. The gloominess. The overcast skies probably have some sort of hand in your lack of clarity. Shrouded.

But it’s February. And in Jeju— it rains.

By the time you make it back inside, you’re drenched.

“You look like you just got dunked in a pool.”

You frown, ringing your hair out into the trash bin by the door. It’ll definitely take time to dry off, both your hair and your clothes are soaked through.

Hyunjin watches with an amused look, arms crossed as he leans his back against the counter.

“Might as well have. It’s insane out there.” you sigh. “How was your break?”

You look up to find that his face has gone unreadable.

“Yeah, about that…” Hyunjin trails off, voice suddenly smaller than before.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s just–” Hyunjin chews at his bottom lip.

You push past him into the supply room to switch out your apron just as he says, “Do you mind if I leave a little early today?”

You scoff, turning to face him. “Hwang Hyunjin,” you scold, lips twitching when he visibly startles at your tone, “You don’t have to ask me that. We’re partners now, remember? We run this place.”

He shifts on his feet, still unsure.

“Besides,” you huff, tying a knot behind your back, “We were friends way before that, too. You don’t have to be all proper with me. Of course you can leave early. It’s slow today, I can take care of it.”

Hyunjin sighs after contemplating for a second. “Are you sure you’ll be okay, though?”

When he stares at you for a moment too long, you know the real reason for his hesitation. It makes something twist deep in your gut.

Guilt, maybe, amongst other things.

“Of course.” you shrug, doing your best to seem nonchalant.

Hyunjin’s ability to read people is kind of intense, a little scary at times. You happen to be one of his favorite subjects in that regard.

“Have fun. Tell Minah I said hi.”

He pales, sputtering around words as he struggles to say something. It’s cute, his plump lips opening and closing, eyes wild.

“I’m not going to see her! I’m–it’s just a movie! How did you—God, you’re so annoying. I should’ve made you trim the tulips. Hah!”

You giggle. “It’s funny that you think I wouldn’t know, especially with the way you love to actually make yourself look busy whenever she stops by to say hi.”

“I am busy.” he mumbles, looking away. “I just emphasize it a lot more when she’s here.”

“Sure,” you roll your eyes, “Let’s go with that.”

He whines a couple more times, trails after you around the shop and laughs when you swat him away with a rolled up newspaper that’s used for wrapping vases.

It’s loud. Easy. Hyunjin is a gentle reminder that normalcy still exists in your day to day, even if it’s hard to find.

When he finally decides to leave, he lingers for a moment, triple checks that you’ll be okay. You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time today, but deep down you’re grateful.

“Love you,” he says, one foot out the door. “Call me if you need anything.”

You shake your head, ignoring him. “Love you too.”

And then he’s gone, a skip in his step as he heads down the sidewalk, leaving you with nothing but freshly-trimmed tulips and the sound of rain.

“Herb snips, shears, tape…” you mumble, scanning the supply shelf.

There’s not much to do in-shop right now. Almost all the arrangements have been tended to by Hyunjin already, his specialty being his keen eye. That’s why he handles the appeal of the shop, leaving you to figure out all the logistics. Learning it all was easier said than done.

In reality, it was never your intention to take over the shop at all.

“When I die,” your grandma would always say, ignoring the way you groaned and begged her to stop bringing it up, “Sell this place. Use the money for something worthwhile. A trip to Greece, maybe?”

“Nana,” you would scold, glaring at her where she stood next to you, trimming a batch of roses.

Wrinkled hands that still held all the skill of youth. Fingers moving at a speed others could only ever dream of having– you included.

Your grandma handled flowers with the same amount of care she did everything else. It’s no wonder that when they grew they would lean in her direction, drawn to her like they would be the sun.

“I’m not selling this place. It’s too special, too important. A vacation only lasts so long, Nana. This is forever.”

She would smile, turn petals over in her hand. Sometimes the marigolds would match the glow in her eyes, a testament to the belief you harbored as a child that she had the ability to sprout blossoms from her fingertips.

“The one thing you shouldn’t do, my dear, is rely on forever. Because that, too, is uncertain.”

You wish you hadn’t been so hard headed. Wish that you would’ve believed her, taken the time to listen, cherished the moment a little bit longer instead of relying on the promise of tomorrow.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Your grandmother was a wonderful woman.

She’ll be with you in your heart, forever.

Oh, what a lie forever is.

The shop stays empty for the rest of the day. There were a few passersby, all of whom simply stopped to scan the arrangements along the windows before giving a polite nod and carrying on their way.

Realistically, the shop has no problem with attracting customers. It’s a sight to behold: mid-floor to ceiling windows with various displays, hanging baskets of winding greenery, countless arrangements that fill the shelves and add a pop of color, and a wide assortment of flowers for each season.

The real issue lies in your inability to sell. Most people regard the place as being good for nothing more than window shopping and the usual photo-op.

Business has slowed since your Grandma passed; since you took over as the sole owner and were suddenly face to face with the task of making decisions in the shop’s best interest– both integrity wise and from a business standpoint.

“I know, I know,” you say around the pen cap between your teeth, “You used to be the brains around here, not me. I’m not creative enough for all of this, you know? No matter how much I try to be.”

You look up from where your notebook lays open, dozens of scribbles for arrangement ideas and planning. The picture on the wall stares at you, unmoving, eyes as bright as marigolds.

“Don’t give me that look.”

She stares. A gaze that holds all the answers while also saying nothing at all.

“Ugh.” you groan, leaning your palms on the desk.

You allow your head to hang forward, defeated, exhaustion flooding your bones.

Just as you’re about to speak again, to complain about yet another thing that probably has her rolling around in her grave, the bell at the front counter dings.

The clock on the desk reads 6:55pm, five minutes until close. You hadn’t even heard anyone come in.

“Be right there!” you call out, rushing to grab your apron from where you’d thrown it on one of the chairs.

In your haste, the box of seed packets you’d been inventorying goes tumbling to the floor.

“Fuck,” you mutter, bending down to pick everything up. One more thing to add to the list today.

Off-kilter. Disoriented. Exhausted.

You sniffle a few times, blinking against the sting behind your eyes as you stand up to put the box back in its place.

One deep breath, a shake of your shoulders. Just enough to chase it all away until later.

“Sorry about that,” you say cheerily, pushing past the hanging beads that separate the front of the shop from the back. “How can I help you?”

There’s a stranger, his back turned, attention focused on a batch of tulips. Freshly cut. White, blue, purple.

You realize, belatedly, that you’d forgotten to grab your apron in your haste to clean up the seed packets. Another slip up. Nana always prided herself in her apron, wore it like a badge of honor, raised you to do the same.

Just as you spin around to grab it, the stranger says, “It’s okay. I just, um, I wanted to say hi.”

You freeze. There’s a long moment where his voice rings loud in your ears, reverberates against the walls of your brain until it travels through your blood, the feeling like wildfire in your veins until it settles deep in the pit of your stomach.

Slowly, you turn, heart clamoring in your chest, threatening to stop altogether as soon as you come face to face with the one person you never thought you’d see again.

Because there, at the front of the store, is Jisung.

Jisung, with wide eyes and parted lips. Jisung, with hair that still curls at the ends and falls in shags around his face. Jisung, broader, more actualized, now grown into his features but still undeniably soft around the edges. Jisung, with thick framed glasses pushed up his nose and silver hoops dangling from his ears.

A stranger. But undoubtedly Jisung.

“You look…nice.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly with his free hand.

Three words is all it takes. Ice turns to fire. The blood that had drained from your face returns with the blaze of a thousand suns, anger burning your throat.

You reach forward, grab the remote for the neon Open sign and click the power button. Jisung watches in confusion.

“The shop is closed.” you manage on a shaky breath.

Jisung sighs, something heavy. “Listen, I’m—”

“The shop–” you try again, louder, “–is closed.”

Jisung stares. His eyes are still the same velvety brown; big and round and just as you remember.

There was once a time where the sight of Jisung in your Grandma’s shop made your heart sing. A soft tune, the thrum of a thousand harps, a song only for him.

His heart-shaped smile as he helped her hammer some of the shelves onto the wall. The sound of his laughter whenever you’d enter a sneezing fit from accidentally rubbing your face with a gloved hand. His rosy cheeks, burnt from the wind whipping past his face as he ran on foot to make sure you were okay the one time an angry customer smashed a vase on the floor and you called him crying.

But now, seeing him here, a stranger in a body you once knew like the back of your hand— it feels wrong.

“I…” he trails off, registering the way your fists are clenched at your sides.

“Okay,” he resigns, licking his lips. “I, uh– have a good night.”

He gives you one last look, bottom lip pulled tight between his teeth, and then slips out the door. You watch his retreating figure through the glass panel, dark gray skies muting the sound of your rattling heart.

It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. Jisung is back.

And in Jeju– it rains.

There’s an apple tree in the middle of town where Jisung told you he loved you for the first and last time.

Off the corner, a few minutes down the road from where your houses stand a mere five hundred feet away from one another.

Your grandparents were farmers. Your grandma started her floral business a few years before you were born, a dream she always had that your grandpa urged her to pursue once he decided to sell the animals to a younger, more capable couple that could take care of them.

Jisung’s parents, new residents on the island, looking to settle down and start a family.

That’s how it happens. Yours and Jisung’s story, two authors of the same book, destined since the start.

Jisung was born on the same night your mother left you at your grandparents’ doorstep. One note, an apology, is all you’ve ever known about her. Your grandma never cared to indulge you. You’re glad in a way. She provided more than enough love to make sure you never felt an absence in her wake.

The townspeople used to say you and Jisung were soulmates. Something about the heavens knowing he would need a friend, hence why you were delivered that night. From that moment on, the two of you were inseparable.

Attached at the hip, you and Jisung grew up together. First steps, first birthdays, firsts for everything under the sun.

Jisung was there in the morning to walk with you to school and he was there at night when the two of you tucked into bed, sleepovers a regular occurrence, both of you counting the pale green stick-on stars dotting his ceiling until you fell asleep.

Jisung was always around. He held your hand and walked with you to the nurse’s office the first time you got stung by a bee. He wiped your eyes when the boy you liked told you he only ever saw you as a friend, your first rejection. He sat with you under the stars the night your grandpa died, your face tucked into his neck as you stained the collar of his shirt with tears until you were too tired to cry. In the years that followed, he took care of you and your grandma like the two of you were his own.

Jisung, for lack of a better word, was your first forever.

“You could come with me, you know.”

Under the stars, real ones that time, Jisung had turned to you and offered the world.

The air was cold. The apple tree was bare.

“It’ll be fun. We’ll be together, we’ll experience new things. I can do music and you can study all that history stuff you like to learn about. You know, nerdy things.”

“They’re not nerdy things, Ji. Don’t you know everything we have now is because of what’s happened before us?” you’d asked. “Doesn’t it make you wonder? Learning about the past helps us better understand the present, and ultimately the future.”

Jisung had hummed softly, an agreement. “I don’t care about the future, though.” he’d said. “I care about right now. You, me, this.”

When you turned to look at him, he propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at you from above as the moon casted a halo around his head.

“I love you,” he whispered, “And I want you to come with me.”

Jisung, with all the stars in his eyes and a heart full of dreams. Jisung, with the world at his fingertips and the ambition to make it his own.

You, with all your hopes stuffed tight into a suitcase and chained to a boulder, thrown into the ocean. Sinking and sinking until it hit the bottom.

“I love you too,” you whispered back.

Images of marigolds flashed behind your eyes when you closed them, a tear rolling down your cheek. Jisung’s mouth was soft when he kissed it away, salt on his lips. Burning.

“But I can’t.” you choked.

Under the apple tree, Jisung told you he loved you for the first and last time. He promised that the distance would be no match for him, that he would traverse oceans to find his way back. He promised forever.

It was February. The tulips were in bloom. Jisung left to pursue his dreams with a guitar on his back and your heart in his hands. Your understanding of forever was shot at point blank. The bullet passed clean through you.

And in Jeju– it rained.

“I think you should talk to him.”

The sun is out today. Perfect weather for another field harvest. The distributor had called you early in the morning to ask if you’d be willing to accept a drop off even though it’s the weekend. You’d agreed, calling in your most reliable help for the job.

“And I think you’re not helping.” you huff, snipping the head off another hyacinth.

“Agreed,” Hyunjin parrots from beside you, currently in the middle of putting together an arrangement, “This guy sounds like a total dick.”

Chan sighs from behind the two of you, his knees knocking against the legs of the desk when he swivels back and forth in the chair.

Besides Hyunjin and Jeongin, both of whom moved into town after you’d already graduated, and of course, Jisung– Chan is your oldest friend.

Chan was also a neighbor of yours. Three years older than you and Jisung, he was the one who acted as a role model for the two of you when growing up. Nowadays he helps his parents run the largest orange grove on the island during the day and DJs one of the clubs in the tourism hub at night.

“Jisung’s not a dick, he’s just–”

“An asshole.” you finish, smirking when Hyunjin cackles.

Chan sighs. Again. “Yeah okay, I’ll give you that one.”

“Listen, I know I’ve never met him, but isn’t it weird that he just, like, showed up?” Hyunjin asks, setting down his scissors. You continue trimming the hyacinths, listening halfheartedly.

“I mean, think about it. Dude disappears to pursue music, right? He’s gone for what– three years?”

“Four.” you correct.

“God, even worse.” he grimaces.

“But yeah, okay, four years. And then boom! He just strolls in through the front door without so much as a word during the time he was gone? No letters, no phone calls, not even a damn visit. Nothing! All so he can pop up and go ‘oh, you look nice’? Come on.” he scoffs, crossing his arms.

You wince, caught off guard because you’ve never really heard it phrased as bluntly as Hyunjin put it just then. It’s no surprise that he’s annoyed, having only just heard the full story thirty minutes ago. He’d been shocked, partly because you never told him and also because he just couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Okay, yes, he was wrong for that. But isn’t part of you even just the least bit curious as to why?”

You pause mid-snip, mulling Chan’s words over in your head.

The most frustrating part about it all is that you are curious. You wish you weren’t, though. Not when you’ve spent the past four years trying to convince yourself that you don’t need to know what Jisung’s been up to, don’t need to know if he’s been okay since he clearly held no concern for you in that regard anyways.

“What?” you ask when you realize that both boys are staring at you.

“Well?” Hyunjin pushes. “Are you?”

You shrug. “No, not really.”

There’s a total of five seconds that pass before Hyunjin is stomping over and hauling Chan up out of his chair, pushing him towards the front door as he protests.

“Out! Out, out, out, we have important business matters to discuss.”

“But we were supposed to get lunch—!”

“We’re taking a rain check!” Hyunjin fights back, shoving him out of the shop before he has a chance to answer. He drops the shade to cover the glass, Chan’s sad figure left alone on the other side.

You gape at him. “What was that for?”

Hyunjin scoffs. “You think you’re convincing? Think again.”

He hops up on to the counter and gestures for you to do the same. When you do, he pulls you closer, grabs your hand in his, and pushes your head down until it’s resting on his shoulder.

“Tell me the truth now,” he says, soft. “I know there’s more to it.”

Hyunjin’s warm to the touch. The heat seeps through the fabric of his shirt, igniting the skin of your cheek until you feel like you’re standing too close to the sun. A star. Hyunjin is a light in your tunnel.

“I am curious,” you start, “About him, I mean. I’ve– I don’t know. It’s been so long. I tried to pretend I didn’t care when I saw him, but the minute I looked into his eyes it was like I was eighteen again. Eighteen and happy and looking at someone that I always thought would be there, you know?”

Hyunjin hums but doesn’t say anything. He squeezes your hand once, a signal to keep going.

“I’m scared, though. Part of me doesn’t want to know.”

Hyunjin takes a deep breath. “What are you scared of?”

Through the gaps in the beads you can see into your office, the picture of your Grandma hanging on the wall. She stares at you, unblinking.

“What if he tells me that it’s true?” you ask, lifting your head to look up at him. “What if he says that I was right, that he didn’t care? That he left and didn’t want to call because it no longer mattered to him? That he loves his life there and only came back to clear his own conscience?”

“Oh honey,” Hyunjin soothes, pulling you into his chest. You hadn’t realized you were crying, that the anger and fear had bubbled over until there were tears falling down your cheeks, wetting the fabric of Hyunjin’s sweater.

He lets you cry for a while. It’s nothing new; Hyunjin has seen you break down countless times. He’s been there through the worst of it, held your hand even in the aftermath. He’s picked you up off the floor more times than you can count, has grounded you when you felt like the world was gonna open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Salt of the earth, returning you to its core.

Once you’ve quieted into nothing more than shallow breaths and a few scattered hiccups, Hyunjin speaks again.

“Can you be honest with me?”

You nod, the hair stuck to your cheek with tears rubbing against his shoulder.

“Do you love him?”

It nearly knocks the wind out of you. This concept, so foreign to you now, shoved to the back of your mind to make room for the things that matter most. Hospital visits, labor cuts, wage increases— none of it left any room for love, let alone the thought of someone else. Especially someone as all-consuming as Jisung.

Slowly, you inhale, breath shaking on the exhale. Hyunjin squeezes your hand to remind you that he’s there.

“I don’t think I ever stopped, Hyune.”

The silence stretches thin. The realization is dizzying. Years of suppressed emotions, of telling yourself and everyone around you that it wasn’t a big deal. The sad eyes of the townspeople whenever they’d see you sitting beneath the apple tree. The gentle touch of your grandma’s hand when she’d find you on the front steps alone, staring at the stars. The soft hum of the radio in the shop, set to a playlist of all the songs he’s written, the only reminder that somewhere out there he was doing well.

The final crack in the dam, its water pushing until it gives way.

“Then you owe it to yourself,” Hyunjin says. “You owe it to your heart to get an answer. Free yourself from this pain, love. Don’t let yourself suffer forever.”

Forever. That word again. No matter how many times you’ve tried to escape it, it always comes back.

“It’s gonna hurt.” he sighs, tightening his grip when you sniffle. “It’s gonna hurt so fucking bad, babe. But you can take it. You’ve got people who love you enough to stand in front of you and soften the blow from time to time. But you’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”

He hops down from the counter and moves to stand in front of you, right between your legs. Placing both hands on your shoulders, he pushes until you’re sitting with your back straight and lifts your chin.

“You deserve an answer.” he says, with conviction this time. “Okay?”

He lets his thumb swipe beneath your eyes, smiles softly. Unconditional— that’s what he is. Hyunjin burns brighter than any star in your sky, the heat wrapping its arms around you like it’s too scared to let go, to watch you freeze and die out like so many others.

“I don’t deserve you, though.” you say, laughing wetly when he rolls his eyes.

“Shut up,” he chuckles, pulling you in for a hug, “You deserve everything and more.”

When Jisung comes into the shop two days later, you’re ready for it.

Chan had talked to him. No surprise, really, not when he’s been letting him crash in his spare room ever since he figured out that he was holed up in one of the hotels out in the tourism hub.

If there’s one thing about Chan, it’s that he’d rip the shirt off his back to clothe anyone in need. Housing a friend is nothing, especially when that friend is Jisung.

“I don’t know how much of a consolation this is,” he’d said nervously, watching as you regarded him with an expectant look, “But he’s pretty cut up about you not wanting to see him. Which, I know, is stupid. He is the one who fucked up. But I just– I don’t know. I’ve never seen him like this, I guess.”

It’s not a consolation, not really. Knowing that Jisung is struggling is far from anything you want to hear.

Sure, there’s anger present. Anyone would be stupid to not feel the least bit frustrated with what’s happened. Years lost, time stripped away. But you’ve long since come to terms with it, the anger turning to sadness in the meantime.

“Also, he leaves tomorrow.” Chan smiled sadly. “He really wants to talk to you before then.”

Hyunjin left early again today to give the two of you space. Not before making a show of his own though, threatening to incite violence with his arms that are supposedly ‘shredded’ from years of lifting boxes filled with petunias.

The shop is slow again, not many sales nor a lot of foot traffic. Usually when the sun is out there’s more to do; people to see, smiles to give. But there’s nothing, just the chirping of birds and the sound of cars rolling by.

Maybe the world knows that this is what you need. The calm before the storm.

Five minutes until close. You’ve spent most of the day pacing back and forth. Waiting. Anticipating.

Chan had said Jisung planned on stopping by, trying again. You’d told him that was okay, and his eyes lit up. Too much hope, maybe, that something might come of this.

You’re seated in the back office, staring at marigold colored irises when the front door opens. You hear it this time, ears fine tuned, waiting.

Slowly, you stand, make your way to the front. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you pull back the beaded curtain and Jisung’s figure comes into view.

He looks the same as he did the other day: curled hair, thick glasses, parted lips. His sweater, fluffy and striped, hangs off of his shoulders in a way that boxes off his tapered waist, one that you know is hidden beneath all the layers. The sleeves are way too long judging by the way it curls over his fingers.

“Hi.” he breathes out, watching as you step into full view.

You blink. “Hi, Jisung.”

His name feels weird on your tongue. Bitter. It’s been years since you uttered it, forbidding yourself from the luxury out of fear that it would make his absence more real. Talking about him in the past tense always scared you off before you could even get the chance.

“How– How’ve you been?” he chews on the inside of his lip.

You want to scold him, tell him to stop the habit just like you always would in the past. He’d make a joke then, tell you to kiss him so that he had something else to do instead. You would laugh, feign disgust, but in the back of your mind you’d wanted it more than anything.

You’d waited for it, the day you could kiss him without warning and melt into his touch as he kissed you back. Another stupid bet on forever; the belief that you had all the time in the world for things to get to that point.

“I’ve been better.” you say, taking a deep breath. “What about you?”

Good, you think. He’s been good. He looks good. He doesn’t need this place.

“Me too.” he says instead. “I’ve been better.”

You don’t know what to say to that. Silence fills the room, heavy on both your chests. The anticipation feels like it might kill you before anything else does.

“I’m sorry that–”

“Is that all you came here to say?” you cut him off.

“What?” he asks, confused. “No, I– no.”

“What, then? What is it you want to say, Jisung?” your voice is firm. He winces when his name leaves your mouth. “Because, honestly, I’ve waited all this time to hear literally anything from you, and if all that comes out of this is that you’ve ‘been better’ I might actually lose my fucking mind.”

The words tumble out faster than you intend. You can’t help it, not with the way anxiety has been bubbling over in your chest since the moment you woke up this morning. You could barely sleep last night, not when you were playing out every possible scenario in your head, the anticipation of it all making your sheets feel scratchy against your skin and the lumps in your pillow more discernible.

“No, no, of course I wouldn’t do that.” he says quickly. “It's just that I didn’t know where to start. I don’t know how much you’ll allow me to say, what the boundary is here. I didn’t want to just barge in and demand you listen to me. You don’t owe me that. You don’t owe me anything. Not after what I did.”

What I did, his voice rings loud in your ears. He’s aware of it, of the pain he caused.

He takes a step forward, and then another, again and again until he’s right up against the front counter, an arm’s length away.

Your breath catches then, when you see him up close for the first time in four years, see the way he’s grown and changed with your own eyes.

Stubble dotting his chin, laugh lines around his mouth, the dip and curve of the bow above his lips that you always loved. Brown eyes, soil and stardust.

“Tell me what your conditions are,” he says quietly, “And I’ll give you every explanation I have.”

The sincerity on his face is blinding. Your stomach twists at the thought of hearing what he has to say, that same fear brewing in the pit of it. You take a deep breath, feel the phantom ghost of a hand squeezing yours and a crescent moon eye smile.

“I waited four years for you.” you say.

“I know.”

“I trusted that you’d be back. That you would keep in touch during the time you were gone.”

“I–” his voice cracks. “I know.”

“You lied to me.”

Jisung tips his head back then. Swallows down a lump in his throat. Blinks rapidly at the ceiling, veins of ivy crawling along the expanse of it.

“I know.”

“So you owe me everything. I deserve that. I deserve answers.”

When he brings his head down to look at you, it’s unreadable. A mix of emotions that you aren’t familiar enough with anymore to decipher. Fear, guilt, sorrow. Hope, too. Maybe.

You stare at him head on, fully letting your eyes meet for the first time in what feels like an eternity. He holds your gaze, unwavering. Determined. The sight makes your heart clench.

“Okay,” he says after a beat of silence. “Okay. I can do that.”

Despite the ever-growing mountain of things to address, you decide that the first thing you want to hear from Jisung is about his time in Seoul.

You’re only human, after all.

Best friends from the start– you can’t stop yourself from wondering what life has been like for him. Jisung’s always been good at storytelling, animated in his features and gestures to the point that you’d be rolling around and clutching your stomach from laughter. It’s one of the things you missed the most, just talking and being present in one another’s lives.

The two of you end up at one of the diners down the road. The owners, an elderly couple, coo as soon as they catch sight of you.

“My flower girl,” the old lady, Mrs. Kim, greets.

“Mrs. Kim,” you beam, moving in for a hug. When you pull away, Jisung is behind you, hands clasped behind his back and feet together like he has his tail between his legs.

“Halmeoni,” you say, gesturing at him, “Do you remember Jisungie?”

His eyes go wide at the nickname, and you try to ignore the heat creeping up your neck, avoiding his gaze and instead watching as Mrs. Kim blinks in surprise.

“Oh! Oh my goodness, our Jisungie? Honey! Honey, look, Jisung is here! Oh you crazy boy,” she scolds, rushing forward to hit his shoulder and pull him in for a hug. “Where have you been? It’s been ages!”

Jisung lets out an oof! as her body slams into him, all of his anxiousness dissolving into laughter as he hugs her back.

“Hi Mrs. Kim, how have you been?”

“Me?” she asks, pulling him away to hold at arm’s length, “Nevermind about me! I’m old! How have you been?”

Good, you think again, a mimic of earlier. Jisungs eyes flit over to yours for the smallest of moments before he answers.

“Better,” he says. “I’m doing better.”

Once both Mr. and Mrs. Kim are done doting over the both of you, they seat you by the window.

The island is always beautiful on sunny days: trees swaying, golden rays painting the rooftops in hues of pink and orange, the indigo shimmer of the ocean off in the distance.

“So,” you say, catching Jisung’s attention, “Tell me about Seoul.”

He hums. “It’s busy. Stinks. Lots of people.”

“Dream come true, yeah?” you joke, taking a sip of your water.

Jisung chuckles. “You could say that, I guess.”

“I mean, it was yours.”

“It was.” he sighs, looking down at the table. “I don’t know. It’s nice. I met good people, made even better connections. I live in this one bedroom studio apartment just outside of Itaewon, so I’m close to where all the foreigners hang out. I’ve learned a lot, gained a lot of inspiration for my music.”

You follow along, staring at him intently. His mouth, still heart-shaped, twitches when he catches you in the act.

You clear your throat, glancing away. “Yeah, I’ve– uh, I’ve heard some of your songs.”

He raises his eyebrows, almost like he hadn’t expected you to say that. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I hear them on the radio sometimes.” A lie. “It usually takes me a second to realize that it’s you.” Another lie. “But they’re good, you’re doing well.”

Pink dusts the tops of Jisung’s cheeks as he turns back to the window, clearing his throat.

He looks younger like this, like he’s still the same boy who would sit across from you all those years ago. Cherry-stained lips and a smile so bright it put the sun to shame.

He talks a bit more about his music, about how he’s with a good company that gives him creative freedom and enough support to pursue more if he desires.

His eyes light up when he tells you about his studio, a small room on the fifth floor of a building in the middle of the city where he does all of his writing. It’s equipped with an entire soundboard, full of instruments that he says he’s been able to get signed by artists that come in and out. Most notably, his guitar, the same one he left with.

Slowly, like a flower blossoming, petals opening one by one, you feel yourself falling back into step with him.

Everything is so familiar: the curve of his smile, the tilt in his voice when he gets excited, the rumble of laughter when he recounts an embarrassing run-in with an A-list celebrity in the company’s cafeteria. He shares stories that fill your heart as the two of you fill your stomachs.

But with the ease comes something more, something you recognize as longing. You hadn’t realized how much you longed to be there through this part of his life, how you wished you’d been the one to answer a video call as he showed off his apartment the first day he moved in, his company badge when it was newly issued, every moment of happiness that you’d been absent for just as much as he was absent for yours.

He seems to share the same sentiment then, when he sets down his fork and stares at his empty plate.

“You run the shop now,” he says, “How’s that been?”

You purse your lips, nodding your head slowly. You knew this conversation would happen, that it was coming.

“It’s good, I guess. Been almost a year now since, uh, it was left to me.” you shrug. “I’m not alone though, Hyunjin is a big help. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Jisung noticeably bristles. Eyebrows pulled together, staring more intently at a crumb on his plate. It looks like there’s a lot he wants to say, like he can’t find the words to say them.

So, naturally, you do it for him.

“I assume Chan told you so I wouldn’t have to, by the way.”

He looks up then, as if he wasn’t expecting you to address the very obvious elephant in the room.

“He did, yes.” Jisung says after a while. His voice is quiet, gentle, like he’s walking on eggshells. “I– I didn’t know how to bring it up. I assume you’ve heard it all already but– I really, really am sorry to hear about Nana.”

The way her name sounds coming out of his mouth turns your mind to static.

Suddenly you’re in the hospital again, monitors beeping, hands as soft as petals cradled in your own and wishing that you could bury your face in a familiar neck as you cried and watched the marigolds wilt.

“I don’t need an apology for that.” you croak, blinking back tears. Jisung is somewhere in your periphery, your vision blurry around the edges.

“It wasn’t sad. Her life, I mean. It was full. Of love. Of light. She left this place happy. That’s what she told me, at least.”

You take a deep breath. “So don’t be sorry about it.”

Jisung sniffles, and the sound shoots straight through your chest.

“I know. I just– I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should’ve been. I had no idea that–”

“Nobody did, Jisung. Don’t punish yourself for that.”

He sees it then, when you finally meet his eyes, the acceptance. You’ve come to terms with things a long time ago, have fought tooth and nail to come out on the other side of all the guilt and resentment and grief alive. Scathed, but alive nonetheless.

“You’re right.” he sighs, wiping at his eyes quickly. “She’d probably yell at me for saying that.”

You laugh, suddenly, the noise startling him. Jisung looks at you like you’re crazy.

“I think she has a lot more to yell at you for than being sorry that she died.”

The bluntness punches a chuckle out of him, and you giggle at the thought.

Your grandmother was always such an outspoken person. She always said what was on her mind, speaking it loud. There’s no doubt that if she was here she’d be berating Jisung, smacking him upside the head before pulling him into a hug and cooking his favorite meal. Tough love, but still, love.

“She would’ve loved to be able to see you.” you say once your laughter dies out, the air a bit lighter between the two of you. “She always wondered if you’d grow your hair out without her around to nag you about keeping it short.”

He reaches up to run a hand through his curls, the strands falling around his face in a way that has your heart stammering in your chest.

“Well, clearly I don’t know how to listen.”

“No, you don’t.”

Jisung smiles softly. “Maybe I’ll cut it now. You know, since I’m here. And because I know she’d want me to.”

You watch him carefully, searching his eyes. For what, you don’t know. All that’s in them are stars.

“Yeah,” you say quietly. “You’re here.”

By the time the two of you leave the diner, stomachs full and enough bags of extra side dishes hanging off of your arms to last you at least two weeks, courtesy of Mrs. Kim, the sun is almost fully set.

The ocean is calm, the evening breeze just barely brushing the surface of the tide. Jisung walks in step with you down the street, one side of his face cast in a glow from the sun’s fading rays.

“Do you think you’d maybe want to stop by the arcade that Old Man Park runs? Just for a little?”

You snort. “Why? So I can embarrass you?”

“Hey!” he puts a hand on his chest, offended. “I’ll have you know that I let you win all those times.”

“How do you let someone win after spending hours practicing while I worked at the shop?”

“I was being nice!”

“Uh huh.”

“Don’t believe me?” he grins. You try not to look, afraid of how bad your blood pressure might spike from the sight.

“I’ll have you know that I’m one of the best Kart Rider players in the PC Bang scene back in Seoul.”

“Jisung,” you scold, “That’s a computer game. These are coin-ops. There’s way more skill needed.”

“No there isn’t!”

He knocks his shoulder against yours, tucking his chin to his chest to hide his smile when you try to fight back.

It’s easy. Nice. There’s a soft melody echoing in the dust-covered chambers of your heart. You still know all the chords.

Old Man Park’s arcade is a few doors down from the shop. You stop there to drop off the food, spare a glance in the mirror hanging in your office to fix your hair.

Your grandma’s picture stares at you from the other wall, eyes bright.

“Love you,” you say, kissing the skin of your fingertips and pressing it gently against the frame.

Jisung is toeing at a few rocks on the sidewalk when you walk back out. He doesn’t see you, too busy with his eyes casted down at the concrete, hands shoved into his pockets.

It’s still hard to believe that he’s here. Flesh and bone. For a long time it felt like he was nothing but a distant dream, someone who only existed in the memories that you kept locked deep within your heart, the key somewhere on the streets of Seoul.

“Ready?” you ask.

He looks up, his glasses moving when his cheeks round into a smile.

Something passes across his face– a myriad of emotions in just a fraction of a second. Hesitantly, he holds out his hand. Long, delicate fingers.

You stare at it, swallowing roughly around the butterfly wings flapping inside your throat.

The one thing you shouldn’t do, my dear, is rely on forever. Because that, too, is uncertain.

Forever isn’t promised. But even then, there are things you know for sure:

It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. Jisung is here. Living, breathing, in the flesh.

So you take his hand, watch as relief floods his features, and let yourself feel.

The wind in your hair, the calluses on Jisung’s palms, and the warmth radiating out of the smile that threatens to split his face into two.

And with that certainty, the two of you start walking. A silent agreement to focus on the now.

You. Him. This.

“God, I can’t believe everything is only one coin.”

You laugh, watching as the multi-colored lights cast a glow on Jisung’s face.

“Stop acting like you don’t remember this place.”

“I don’t!” he argues, smiling. “We stopped coming here, what, in middle school? Once Chan hyung started driving? We would always ask him to take us to the other one out in the big town!”

Chan’s first car was an old Camry with leather seats and enough room for the three of you to pile into after school. Used, but still with enough juice to satisfy three young kids who felt like they were on top of the world.

You used to sit in the back, the wind whipping your hair every which way while yours and Jisung’s hands lay side by side in the middle seat, pinkies brushing but neither of you willing to take it further.

“Oh, shit!” Jisung gasps, letting go of your hand as he runs up to the space invaders machine.

“Here we go,” you sigh, following after him. He’s like a kid in a candy store, face filled with innocent wonder and joy.

“Aren’t there, like, I don’t know– things better than this in Seoul?” you ask as he shoves a coin into the game.

Jisung turns to look at you with a devilish grin. “Obviously,” he says, “But I can’t beat anyone’s high score over there. Here though? Ha! This place is ancient. I can finally be at the top of the leaderboard in something.”

“We’ll see about that.” you mumble, the noise of the game booting up drowning you out.

Jisung sticks his tongue out when he focuses really hard on things. It’s cute, the way the end of it sits between his lips, spit-slick and parted just a little bit.

He’s glowing, probably because of the lights, hues of red and green and blue flashing across his face. But then again, Jisung has always shined brighter than anything.

The game beeps to signal that he has one life left. He grunts a few times, his fingers tapping the buttons madly as his other hand handles the joystick in a frenzy of movements.

When it ends, he groans, throws his hands up in defeat..

You shake your own head knowingly, watching his eyes bug out of their sockets as soon as the leaderboard appears on the screen, the 8-bit letters blinking at him.

“You’re joking.” he laughs in disbelief, turning to stare at you. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

There, on the screen, is your name. The highest score. Jeongin and Hyunjin’s names sit just below you, respectively.

“What was that again about finally being able to be at the top?” you mock him, smirking.

“Since when did you get good at this?”

You shrug. “Had to find something to do in my free time.”

“No,” he says, rolling up his sleeves. “Nuh-uh. No way. This is not happening. I will beat you.” he holds out his hand for another coin, to which you roll your eyes and place one in his palm.

“You might as well give up now. We’ll be here all night.”

“In your dreams.” he scoffs, assuming his position as another round loads onto the screen.

Jisung has always been competitive. It’s one of his more hidden characteristics.

It persists still, you realize, as you watch him burn through the styrofoam cup of coins that Old Man Park had given the two of you. Free of charge for old time’s sake.

Fort-five minutes. All he’s managed to do is bump Hyunjin down to fourth.

“Ugh!” he groans, kicking the machine lightly with his foot.

“Look at you throwing a tantrum.”

“I’m not throwing a tantrum.” he pouts. You raise an eyebrow.

“Okay fine. I’m throwing a tantrum.”

“Thought so.”

“Can you blame me?” he asks. “This is, like, our first date. And I’m sucking. Hard.”

“Our–” you stop, eyes wide. Jisung mimics you, almost like he didn’t mean to say what he did.

Heat rushes to your cheeks. Your mind goes blank. But the world doesn’t end. Time keeps moving. Jisung is still here.

“I didn’t–”

“I like the sound of that.” you say quickly. “Of this being our first date, I mean.’

He smiles. Slow and sweet like molasses. Blinding.

“And the fact that you suck.”

The moment is shattered, his resulting whine echoing throughout the arcade.

“Come on you big baby,” you laugh, grabbing his hand. “I know a game you can beat me at.”

He lets himself be pulled, pretending that he’s upset, but you can see the smile tugging at his lips when you lace your fingers together.

The feeling is still new, this ease you have with him. The wounds you sported all those years are still healing, some more fresh than others. But with each laugh that comes out of Jisung’s mouth and shared glance, every note that your heart sings, you can feel them beginning to fade. A balm to soothe the burn.

The Pac-Man game is situated in the back corner of the arcade, right next to the jukebox. It used to be your favorite, because Jisung would always use his own coins to play songs for you while you tried to score higher than twenty-five thousand points.

When you get there, he frowns. “The only game you think I can beat you at is Pac-Man?”

“I don’t think,” you say, grabbing a coin before shoving the cup into his chest. “I know.”

The game boots up instantly, and you smile softly to yourself when Jisung moves wordlessly behind you, slips a coin into the jukebox.

“Play something good, Jisungie.”

He freezes. Out of the corner of your eye you watch him stare at you for a long moment. And then he smiles. Stardust.

“You got it.”

In a matter of seconds, Lovers In A Dangerous Time by Bruce Cockburn rings throughout the arcade, the speakers on the ceiling fighting past the static.

An old song. The same one your grandparents would dance to in the mornings, eggs on the stove and love in the air.

Your grandma used to say it was written for them, because when they fell in love the war was at its peak and she didn’t know if he’d ever come home.

After he passed, she still played it, except those times it was Jisung who twirled her around and painted a smile on her face as you watched from the same spot you grew up in. Always there.

Jisung, Jisung, Jisung.

When the game starts, you try your best. It’s hard. You’ve always been terrible at anything involving quick decisions. Focusing on everything at once isn’t easy for you, that much is still true.

“Shit.” you mumble, the top right corner of the screen reading ten thousand points as the ghosts run into you.

Jisung lets out a low whistle. “Harsh.”

“You wanna go back to space invaders and waste the last of our money?” you raise an eyebrow.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. Go ahead.” he says, holding the cup out for you to take another coin.

You try a couple more times, failing each and every one. You can tell that Jisung is growing more and more amused with every attempt, and the smugness radiating off of him is starting to rub you the wrong way.

“If you’re so good,” you say after a particularly sad attempt, turning to glare at him. Jisung has his lips pulled tight to stop himself from laughing. “Then why don’t you try?”

He chuckles then. “I’d rather help you, if you’ll let me.”

“How are you supposed to do that? We only have one coin left.”

Jisung doesn’t say anything. He puts the cup down, the last coin held between his fingers. You watch as he slips it into the machine, move to get out of his way once he’s done, but he stops you by grabbing your hand and spinning you back around, his fingers placed over yours on the joystick.

With your back flush against his front, caged in by his arms on either side, Jisung takes a deep breath.

“This okay?” he asks right next to your ear, the curls on the side of his head brushing your cheek when he leans down to get a better look at the screen.

Warm. He’s so warm. The material of his sweater only worsens the heat, and the faint scent of vanilla makes your head swim.

It’s more than okay. Great, even. It’s Jisung. Everything and more.

“Yeah,” you say, letting him control your hands as he flicks the joystick. “It’s okay.”

The hair against your cheek moves when he smiles. “Good.” he says, and then hits the start button.

The game begins but you’re barely processing what’s happening, too aware of the feeling of his body pressed against yours.

A firm chest, different from what’s observable on the outside, what with the fluffiness of his sweater and soft features. His arms too, encasing you, the bulge and flex of his biceps every time he moves.

It’s all so intoxicating, so much so that you don’t even realize you’ve beaten the highest score in the system by the time he loses his last life.

“What?” you blink. “What the hell?!”

You laugh, spinning to face Jisung who’s grinning from ear to ear. In your excitement, you jump, flinging your arms around his neck. He’s surprised, but catches you nonetheless, circling his arms around your waist.

“Holy shit how’d you do that!” you squeal while he swings you around, feet off the ground.

“Magic, I guess.” he chuckles.

The closeness of his voice brings you crashing back down, suddenly aware of what position you’re both in. You pull back quickly, clear your throat, and watch as his face falls from the loss of contact.

It’s been a long time since you hugged Jisung. The thought transports you to that day four years ago, standing under the apple tree, the future uncertain. Forever promised.

Things are different now.

“Sorry,” he backtracks. “I didn’t– um, I wasn’t trying to–”

You cut him off by throwing yourself at him for a second time. Intentional. Breathless. Tired of running and acting like it’s not the thing you want most in the entire world.

Jisung doesn’t react until he feels your face against the skin of his neck. On instinct, he hugs tight, hands around your waist, breathing in the smell of your hair.

“Hi.” you whisper against him.

One word. Simple. However the weight of it sends a chill down his spine. It feels like home.

He tightens his hold. A silent understanding. The two of you never had much of a need for words anyways.

“Hi.” he whispers back.

The apple tree is much bigger now.

Long, thick branches, a wide trunk, a slight tilt in its shape.

It’s bare. The season is long gone. But it’s okay, because it means that the view of the stars isn’t blocked when you and Jisung lay beneath it.

It’s the same but it isn’t. There’s gaps– periods of time where the two of you grew separately. There are moments and memories tucked away that neither of you know about, whole lives to discover.

But even so, it feels right. His arm wrapped around you, your head on his chest. The stars and the moon. You and Jisung.

It’s nice. Perfect, even. But there’s a conversation that needs to be had. One that can’t be put off any longer.

“Ji.”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Jisung shifts beneath you, tightening his hold. The grass is damp. Neither of you care, too caught up in each other to stress about whether or not it’ll stain.

“Of course.”

“Am I ever gonna see you again?”

He takes a deep breath. “Yes.”

“You said that last time.”

“I know.”

“So what makes this different?” you ask, sitting up. He watches you carefully, eyes trained on every movement like he’s scared you’ll get up and run away.

When he realizes you’re waiting for an answer, he sits up too, pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs.

He doesn’t say anything, just wordlessly reaches into his pocket. Silently, he hands whatever he grabbed to you. A guitar pick.

It’s white, a marbled design. Golden flecks infused into the lines. There, on the front, is a singular marigold. When you flip it over, you’re met with a tulip.

“Do you remember that one time, when you called me crying at midnight because Nana told you that she didn’t know if she’d be able to afford school in the city?”

You nod silently, still turning the guitar pick over in your hand.

It was one of those nights where the rain was relentless. Monsoon season always tagged on to the tail end of the school year, bringing with it a more intense gloominess than usual.

You’d been angry. Stressed. Irritated that other kids at school were making plans to go to the mainland for college and you were stuck helping your grandmother trim foliage and wrap vases in newspaper.

“You told me that you couldn’t do it anymore.” Jisung whispered, staring up at the sky. “That you were tired of being here. That you needed to get out.”

You remember. Jisung had walked through the rain to show up at your window. Had climbed in with muddy shoes and sat on the floor of your room with you until the downpour stopped and your tears dried.

“And I said that I would make it happen, that I would invent a way to live amongst the stars so you could be as far from here as possible.”

“So what?” you ask, looking at him. “Did you finally do it, then? Is that why you came back?”

“Don’t be like that.”

“No, Jisung, I’m gonna fucking be like that.” you scoff, rising to your feet.

There’s a fire in your veins, stoked until the embers are burning hot against your throat. Too good to be true. You should’ve known that there was no explanation left for him to give.

Jisung scrambles to his feet. “It wasn’t like I wanted to–”

“Oh like hell you did.” you say, turning to face him. “Four years, Jisung. I waited four years and you just– you come back and decide to tell me about some make-believe bullshit to save yourself and feel less guilty about the fact that you left.”

“It wasn’t make-believe to me,” he argues. “It was real. Everything I said was real. I left and I tried for years to make something of myself so I could come back here and get you.”

“Oh so it’s my fault? I made you leave, is that it?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“So then say something else!” you yell. The stars rumble, threatening to fall out of the sky. “Say something else, then, Jisung. Why didn’t you call? Huh?”

“Because I–” he stops, licks his lips. “God. Fuck. I couldn’t face you if I had nothing to show for myself, okay? It wasn’t fair to you for me to leave you behind just so I could fail.”

“Ha!” you laugh, running a hand through your hair in disbelief. “So you decided to go radio silent instead? Decided to not only leave me alone but let me suffer and wonder about where you were because that’s so much better than telling me that you were struggling, right? Great choice, Jisung. Really.”

He blinks a few times, watching as you pace back and forth in the grass.

Anger bubbles deep in your gut. This whole time, he knew. It was a conscious decision. Jisung deliberately didn’t contact you because he chose not to.

“Did you ever even love me?”

The words tumble out before you can stop them. Jisung’s entire body goes rigid, his face falling and eyes hardening within a fraction of a second.

“Watch what you say.” he says, his voice low in his chest.

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just be honest.”

“I’m trying.” he pleads. His eyes are glossy. Big and round behind his glasses. Illuminated by the moon.

“I fucked up, okay? I prioritized myself and the way I felt over you and fucked everything up. But I tried. I tried so fucking hard. And I’m sorry it took me so long but I wanted– no– I needed to make sure that I had everything figured out before I came back. I promised I would.”

“No, Jisung, you promised me that–”

“I’m not talking about you.” he says then, taking a deep breath. “You weren’t the only one I made promises to back then.”

Before you have a chance to speak, Jisung says, “I promised her. I told her I’d get you out of here. That I’d give you a life that you deserved, because she knew she couldn’t.”

You drop to your knees when the first sob hits, the force of it racking your body so hard you feel like you’re drowning. Jisung catches you on the fall, holds you up, lets you bury your face into his neck like he had so many times before.

“She told me you believed in forever. She wanted me to give that to you. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Jisung lets you cry. He holds you through the storm, your wails as loud as thunder and tears as heavy as rain. Four years in the making; the sky and the earth colliding until the dirt and layers of sediment give way to the molten core that’s been hiding beneath the surface all along.

Pain. Grief. All of it pent up and leading to this moment.

“You should’ve told me.” you cry, beating a fist into Jisung’s chest. “You idiot. You fucking idiot. You should’ve told me.”

Jisung pulls you in closer, takes each hit as long as it means that it’ll soften the blow on your heart. He whispers apologies in your ear, runs a hand through your hair.

When it quiets again, the worst of the storm gone, he shifts so that your head is in his lap, his legs crossed and tucked beneath him. A few stray tears wet the fabric of his jeans, your eyes focused on the field of flowers across the street.

“I won’t ask you to come with me.” he says after a long while, when your breathing has evened out. “I know that things are different. You have a life here that you’ve made for yourself, responsibilities to bear as well.”

He pauses to push a few strands of hair out of your face. His fingers are gentle against the skin of your cheek.

“But I promise it’ll be different. I spent too long away from you, was too selfish for my own good. I won’t disappear again. I’ll call every day. I’ll visit. You’ll get every part of me that I kept away from you all this time, and I’ll get every part of you in return.”

Your heart thrums. The thought of having what you’ve wanted for so long. Of having Jisung.

“And when you’re ready, when you feel like you can’t do it anymore, there’ll be a place for you.”

His voice is firm. Confident. More sure than he’s ever sounded before in his life.

When you turn to face him, he’s already staring back. Jisung, with all the stars in his eyes and a heart full of dreams. Jisung, with the world at his fingertips and the offer to make it yours.

Under the apple tree, Jisung leans down and kisses you for the first time. Twenty four years in the making, soft and slow, his lips a perfect fit against yours. A starboy and his flower girl. His glow is so bright it makes blossoms sprout from her fingertips.

Soft curls tickle your eyelids when he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours. You reach up to run a hand through them, smiling softly when he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I love you.” you say first this time.

He reaches out a hand, closes it over your fist that’s still clutching the guitar pick. A marigold and a tulip, both working together to make a perfect harmony.

“I love you, too.” Jisung whispers back. “Forever.”

Jisung stops by the shop early to say goodbye.

There’s less tears this time, less of a reason to be sad. But still, when he wraps his arms around you, vanilla filling your nose and curls against your face, you feel your composure crumble.

“Every day.” he says, repeating the same thing he did all night. “I promise. Morning and night. Also at lunch. Oh, and on your days off. Matter of fact, you can call when you’re on the toilet too.”

The last part earns him an elbow to the ribs, his laughter bubbling up and out of his throat as he tries to dodge any and all subsequent attacks.

He kisses you stupid before he goes, Chan rolling his eyes from his car out front. You flip him off blindly, Jisung’s lips still attached to yours, earning a loud honk in response.

When he leaves, the shop is quiet, the only sound being the buzzing of your phone as Jisung blows it up with text messages the second the car pulls away.

You’re too busy replying, giggling to yourself when a slew of cute emoticons start appearing one by one, that you nearly fall over out of your chair when Hyunjin bursts through the door.

“Jesus Christ Hyune, did you have to–”

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, breathless.

“Uh,” you blink, glancing round. “Working?”

“Is Jisung not on a damn plane right now?”

“I mean he’s on his way to the airport. Chan is–”

“Chan hyung told me that Jisung wanted you to go with him.” Hyunjin says, brow furrowed.

You sigh. “He didn’t want me to go with him. Well, okay, he did. But I told him I can’t just pick up and leave. He knows that. Nana left this place to me and–”

“You are so stupid.” Hyunjin sighs.

“Excuse me?” you ask. You stand up, crossing your arms as you walk closer to the counter.

“Come on. We have to go.”

“Go where, Hyunjin? I’m not leaving to–”

He cuts you off, places an envelope on the wooden surface. “And I am not letting you stay here and pretend that this is what you want.”

“What is that?”

“A plane ticket.” he says, pushing it towards you. “To Seoul.”

Your mouth opens and closes, lost for words. Hyunjin is already moving around the counter, pushing past you with an expression the most serious you’ve ever seen on him.

“Hyunjin I– I can’t– where did you even…?”

“Chan hyung has a friend.” he mumbles as he begins pulling stuff out of the office. Your planning notebook, your apron, the picture of your grandma off the wall. All of it thrown into a small box he managed to snag from somewhere off to the side.

“His name is Seungmin or something. Met him out in the tourist hub. Dude’s super rich with tons of miles and apparently owed Chan for a drunken night where he needed to be escorted to his hotel. So thanks to him, you’re leaving.” he explains as he grabs the box with both hands and starts walking towards the door.

“Wait.” you stop him, watching as he turns to regard you with a look that says his patience is running thin.

“I told you I can’t leave, Hyunjin. This place is where I need to be.”

He huffs, places the box on the ground in front of him. His hair falls in waves around his face, a shimmery dark brown beneath the rays of the sun poking into the room.

“Can you be honest with me?” he asks.

You nod, slowly.

“Do you love him?”

Hyunjin watches you with careful eyes. Reads you like a book, something he’s always been good at. You don’t doubt that it’s written on your face. Star-kissed cheeks and eyes as bright as marigolds.

“So much that it hurts, Hyune.”

Hyunjin smiles, eyes watery. “Then you deserve to go. You deserve your chance to be free. Don’t worry about this place, I’ll take care of it.”

The familiar sting of tears sits behind your eyes. Your heart swells full of love for this friend, this light, this beacon of unconditional love in the shape of your best friend.

“I don’t have clothes.” you manage to say around the lump in your throat.

Hyunjin shakes his head, tears spilling down the bridge of his nose.

“I’ll send them to you.”

“There’s a lot to do around here for just one person. What if you need me?”

“I’ll manage.”

You round the corner quickly, throwing yourself into his chest. He catches you with ease, wraps his arms around your body as the both of you cry into each other.

“I’ll miss you.” you say weakly.

Hyunjin’s throat bobs against the top of your head. “I’ll always be here in our little corner of the world.”

The two of you stay like that for a while. Hyunjin’s warmth seeps into your skin, lights you ablaze. By the time he pulls away, his hands on your shoulders, you feel like you’re floating. Unreal.

“I don’t have a way to get there.” you say quickly, glancing at the clock.

Jisung’s plane leaves soon. The airport, the only one on the island, is a thirty minute drive. You’re at a disadvantage the more time you spend not moving.

“Don’t worry,” Hyunjin chuckles. “I’ve got that taken care of.”

You open your mouth to ask him what he means when you’re cut off by the sound of honking from outside. Confused, you run to the door, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize who’s waiting for you.

“Hurry up people we don’t have all day!” Jeongin calls, his upper body hanging out of the window. He’s parked outside in a beat-up truck, arms waving wildly when he spots you.

“Innie!” you scream, pushing through the door to run at him. He jumps out of the truck just in time for you to barrel into his chest, laughter loud in your ears as he spins you around.

“You’re here! Oh my god I thought you weren’t coming for another two weeks.” you say in disbelief once he puts you down.

He looks older, more sophisticated. His hair is rusted and falls past his ears, the ends just barely touching his shoulders.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs. “I figured I’d show up earlier. You know, see you before you leave, catch up with my parents, help Hyunjin break into your house. The usual.”

“Help Hyunjin break into my what–” you say, but you stop when your eyes fall on the small suitcase in the backseat. Your own bag, the one that’s been sitting in your closet untouched for years now.

“For the last time,” Hyunjin says from behind you, carrying the box in his arms. “It’s not breaking and entering if I have a key. Which, by the way, I told you would come in handy one day.”

He sets the box down next to the luggage and dusts his hands on his pants. When he turns to face you, he’s smiling, eyes disappearing into crescent moons.

With tears threatening to spill once again, you stare at the both of them, your heart bursting at the seams. “I love you guys.”

Jeongin grimaces, opts for getting back in the driver’s seat as you laugh. Hyunjin rolls his eyes and ushers you inside of the truck.

“Yeah, yeah. Save it.” he says. “Right now, you have a plane to catch.”

The airport is crowded.

There are tons of people everywhere, some saying hello and some saying goodbye. Hyunjin explained the gate system to you before you left him and Jeongin on the curb, and you keep glancing down at your ticket to make sure none of the information has changed in the past thirty seconds since you last looked.

Thankfully, your gate isn’t far. With twenty minutes to go until boarding, you can feel the sweat building up beneath the hand that’s curled around your suitcase handle.

It’s scary thinking about the fact that this is it. That you’re finally leaving.

It’s bittersweet, too. There’s an excitement in the pit of your stomach as well as a feeling of dread in your chest, both of them meeting in the middle somewhere.

You let your eyes scan the crowd, searching for wavy hair and thick-rimmed glasses. However, the first thing you see is the familiar neck of a guitar, strapped right on to a back that you would know and recognize anywhere without warning.

Jisung is seated near the gate, his eyebrows furrowed and lips set in a pout as he glares down at his phone. You realize that he’s probably wondering why you won’t answer, why all of his emoticons are going ignored.

Quietly, you come up behind him, reach into your pocket, and say, “Excuse me? I think you dropped this.”

Jisung startles, his eyes falling on to the guitar pick being held out in your hand. Slowly, he lets his gaze follow upwards, wide-eyed and shocked.

“What– what are you doing here?” he asks.

You place the pick in his hand. “I'm on my way to Seoul. There’s a guy there that I’ve been trying to find for a while.” you say.

Jisung catches on quickly. “Oh, really?” he asks, moving over so you can sit beside him. “This guy must be pretty great if you’re leaving for the mainland.”

The rain starts hitting the tarmac outside right as you sit down. “Hm, yeah. He is. He really likes the stars. He says that he found a way for me to live in them, too.”

He laughs, the sound making your stomach flip. “Sounds like you’re excited.”

You nod. “I am. He promised me that we’d do a lot together, experience new things. Apparently he’s gonna write songs and I’m gonna be a nerd.”

Jisung snorts and reaches across to link his hand with yours.

“He’s really lucky.” he says, leaning over to plant a kiss on your lips.

You smile into it. “So am I.” you whisper into his mouth, your heart stuffed to the brim with flower petals.

And when Jisung smiles back, his other hand coming up to cup your cheek and give you another kiss with the force of a thousand suns, you feel the key you’d been searching for finally click into place.

Salt of the earth. Soil and stardust. A boy who glows so bright that his girl sprouts blossoms from her fingertips.

Forever isn’t promised. But then again, with Jisung by your side, there are things you know for certain:

It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. In Jeju– it rains.

And no matter what, despite all odds, you and Jisung will always find your way back to each other in the place where marigolds grow.

[tags: @skzstarnet @snowyquokka @palindrome969 @summergirlsmj @n1staytiny @drhsthl @strwbrrychannie @shays-library @giuliadesu @iknowyouknowminho @linocz @pynchkilledme @jisunglyricist @itsgghowitsgg @alician87 @skzms @meloncremesoda @ilychee08 @allaboutsan @legally-lixs @stayceebs97 @candyquokka @chans1aptop @liknws @realrintaro @beeracha @vxllxnsworld @feelikecinderella @caitxx1 @lilac13 @sebastianswhore13 @classiclitandmemes @hyunverse @linosazuna @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @bubbly-moon @cookiesandcreammy ]

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rosedom · 3 days

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hihihihi its your froggy friend aureramphibian again :D I have a lime popsicle and degenerate thoughts about pretty boys lesgo here's one that's been bouncing around in my brain like the DVD logo when the movie was paused too long and it's about my favorite boy!!

so Tighnari's fuckin stubborn, right? this is common knowledge that he'd be stubborn? Getting into an argument with him- not even really an argument, even, it's just a stupid petty squabble type thing but you're frustrated and he's annoyed so he stomps off to do some paperwork or experiment notes or something and you go to your shared room and stew in your thoughts for a bit before you decide fuck it, idea time and head over to where Tighnari's focused on work, frowning intensely at it. He doesn't exactly ignore you, just kind of 'hm?'s at you and just tells you he's busy, can it wait? So off goes the shirt, tossing it onto the floor. You see his ears twitch but he doesn't say anything and he doesn't turn around. So then your pants come off, and he still doesn't notice, so your underwear follows and you stride over and grab his chin, gently tilting his head to look at you and hey, that sure fuckin worked!!! He's staring at you in shock, too surprised to be embarrassed of how unashamedly he's just staring at you, everything from your shoulders and collarbones to your hips and waist to the apex of your thighs and how he can see you're turned on. And when you ask him, all teasing, if he'll pay attention to you now, he's nodding before you've finished talking and he's reaching for your sides to pull you closer. (And tbh that'd be up to you personally if you'd let him but since it's me writing and you know how I am whore with an oral fixation at your service you can probably guess where this is going ^>^) Stopping him gently, keeping him from pulling you closer and instead dropping to your knees, helping him scoot his chair out and tapping the waistband of his pants, letting him pull them off himself along with his underwear so you're face-to-face with his pretty cock, twitchy and aching and practically begging you to suck it. If you can hold off for just a minute longer, just stroking him with your fingers to give him some stimulation, you can call him your good boy and your pretty fox, tell him you're sorry for fighting, you know it was petty and you don't like when he's mad, he looks so much better when he's completely stupid from the pleasure you're giving him and tbh he wouldn't be too far gone yet so he's not all there, sure, but he's there enough to agree the fight was stupid and petty and he's sorry it got like that too but can you talk about this later because he wants more and who are you to deny him when he's asking so nicely? And this is where my brain completely devolves into just body worship/cock worship and I reach a level of unhinged degeneracy that is genuinely embarrassing hfgdjdfhgdkjg listen i just really think boys are so pretty and deserve to be told and SHOWN so, is that a crime?!?!

Anyways- Hope you enjoyed, Rosey! <333

"i (aureramphibian hi hello it me :D) am SO sad I just realized tumblr absolutely nommed on an ask I sent you with a very long Tighnari thought and my sadness upon realizing you didn't get to read it is immeasurable so I'm gonna try to redo it as best I can ^>^" . . . cont. below !!

"So the original thought was a sort of rework of a draft I've had for fucking ages and flipped around, where (the concept is courtesy of my bff must give the bestie credit) after getting in a fight/argument, what if you/the other person stripped naked and knelt at their/your feet to beg for forgiveness? And I'm a proud Tighnari simp, so... this happened.

"Okokokok in MY mind, it'd be not even like a real argument yk? It's not something that's genuinely upsetting that you need to talk about and work through together later, this is more like. A Couple's Spat if you will. Lover's Quarrel type bullshit (no clue if I'm using those correctly but fuck it we ball). It's enough you're both a little frustrated without being something that needs a sit-down conversation that a sexual intervention would mess up by happening. So maybe Tighnari stomped off to do some report thing and cool himself down but here's the thing:

"Tighnari doesn't like you both being mad at each other and despite his undeniable stubbornness, he'll be the one to do something to fix it if he has to. And maybe he's a little horny bc sometimes people (you) can be kinda hot when they're mad but that's Neither Here Nor There- so he grits his teeth and swallows his pride, shuffles back into the other room, tail quite literally between his legs, and sees you like. Working on something. Watching TV. IDK man it's imagination time let it run wild but he says something and you hum, but don't look at him, so he says your name again and you look, but only a glance before you're right back to what you're doing. I imagine, as a sub, Tighnari really prefers if you're fully in control, taking the reigns, making him brainless- because when he has a brain, it's a damn good one (the fuckin smartass) so he overthinks and ruins it for himself and he hates it. So when he's in this position, having to actively show submission, his brain is NOT happy. So I imagine he'd have zero decorum, like one really heavy breath out through the nose before he takes off his shirt and chucks it at you- and, yknow, archer, so his aim is gnarly even with improvised projectiles so it smacks you right in the face but like, it worked didn't it?? It got your attention yeah??? Because now you get to watch your pretty fox kick his pants off to the side and flop down next to where you're sitting, lean his forehead on your thigh, and mumble something you can't hear but assume is an apology from the way his ears are drooping.

"So I'm- I- listen I'm a whore this is not new info but do you know just how annoying it would be for Tighnari, how much he likes being petted? Do you know how easy it would be to tease him?? By petting him gently, smoothing his hair back out of his face, gently scratching his scalp with your nails- he'd turn so red I know it and i am frothing at the mouth because of it. anyways

"I am now at a really unfortunate crossroads because ideally here you'd get to suck him off (we will NOT talk about the straight up cock worship that was included in the draft i have that is not posted for a reason and the reason is I'm a slut but i'm a nervous one) but there's also something to be said for him sucking you off, which would be the sort of yknow, logical course of action here considering he's already on his knees and you could get off while watching him practically soak the floor beneath him as he tries his damn best to suck your very soul out. So I will let you decide since I can't :D Hope you enjoyed it Rosey I am going to strangle tumblr with my bare hands (i was gonna say thighs but. anyone would enjoy that too much) (Im sorry)

"K BYE ILYSM MWAH" - @aureramphibian (two separate inboxes 'cos tumblr did not, in fact, eat his original post)

"hope u enjoyed, rosey !" rosey just came in his pants. this was so so hot. I LOVE U MORE !!! i'm so sorry it took so long for me to reply ,, but i absolutely adore these thoughts. why don't u post more of them on ur account ರ⁠_⁠ರ ur such a talented writer !!

i love how the first thought is like ,, tighnari ignoring reader; and the second turns the tables. but both can absolutely end in cock worship . . but in another way.

like, imagining your pretty fox all huffy n' red-faced in his annoyance—and it turns quickly to that flush of arousal, you nosing at his groin . . . teasing around his cock, fingertips brushing his pale skin turned to teasing your fingers through that thick thatch of neatly groomed hair . . . he's well-kept, and i am practically salivating rn at the thought of nosing around his cute lil' cock . . .

while i may be calling it "lil'," i just know 'nari has a nice fuckin' cock—thick and long, cutely curved. it's the perfect weight for your tongue. holyyy hell, and finally nudging that thick weight in your mouth . . no, no, i'm getting ahead of myself.

first—well, technically second, third, or even fourth, considering how you'd absolutely need to tease at his skin and hair beforehand—teasing his cock with your fingers, too; dragging your fingers from the neat hair at the base of it and following the vein (because he absolutely has such a prominent one) ,, your mind is simply so, so powerful. and after, you need to tease him with your lips !! kiss at the head of his cock—which will undoubtedly be leaking thick rivulets of precum by then—, wrap your lips around it and suckle, light, before drawing away entirely to instead kiss his navel . . hhhhhhhhggg he has such a cute fucking cock.

and then once the apologies start flowing—from either you or him, depending—and the sweet begs and pleas begin floating around you, that's when you can finally quit the pretenses and truly suck tighnari down. sloppy blowjob, cock worshipping . . godddd. his cock'd be so, so heavy on your tongue, heady as you suck at it and hollow your cheeks. it'd be hard not to gag, but you'd be well-used to his cock by now, wouldn't you? be able to suck him down to the hilt, throat sweetly massing his glans? fuck.

he'd cry out all these mindless babbles, too—these sweet, "please, please !" and "'m sorry, please, more, more—" all the way to, "i love u, i love u so much . . " i'll applaud you if you manage to do all this without cumming untouched in your own pants—'cos i certainly wouldn't be able to, faced with such a pretty sight. and imagining the way his tail would either wag or wrap around you, the fur of it tickling the arms you hold him with so tightly. i simply wanna see 'nari lose control of everything.

on the flip side, then, you've got tighnari worshipping your cock. well. okay. i'm getting ahead of myself again, sorry; but 'nari, stripped naked and nuzzling into your thigh as he's kneeling in front of the sofa you're sat on, begging for your hands to just pet him because even if you're "fighting," he still needs your comfort (and you need to give it to him. a win-win, yeah?). then just ,, finally stroking his hair, his ears, thumbs digging into his temples to rub and massage at the headache you're sure is there . . he's so, so spoiled.

call him your "good boy," your "sweet fox," listening to him whine as he starts nuzzling at the growing tent in your pants. how can't you get a hard-on when you've got a blushy fox at your feet !! it's so sweet, the submission he gives to you even when he should be mad, when you should be at a crossroads ,, even then, he still trusts you so, so much.

"go on then, 'nari." you'd need to goad him on, unzip your own pants and tug your cock out from your briefs yourself. he needs to know he has permission, for this. "wanna cockwarm me? wanna have my cum, my sweet lil' fox?" with your mouth free like this, at least, you can dirty talk him to your dirty heart's desire as he drools and slobbers across the throbbing head of your cock.

he's got such a talented mouth, too—lips wrapped around your cock, stretched downright obscenely . . . it would be so, so fucking hot to see and feel his saliva start to drip down to your balls.

and, god, i feel like not enough people talk about this but imagine tighnari with a slightly rough tongue, too. it'd hardly be enough to pull at the skin of your cock, really; it only provides the most pleasurable friction across the bottom of your cock, licking at you leisurely as he warms you. he can easily lose track of time like this, lost to the weight of you heavy in his mouth.

times like these don't even necessarily need to end in orgasm, either. it's all about that intimacy<33

watch out, though: if all lover's spats end up like this, you may find yourself with an even snarkier bf !!!

29 APR. 2024, @rosedom, @aureramphibian .

#ㅤ✦【 INBOX 】#do i use these same physical hcs in my cy/nari thoughts? ye .#rough tongue and thick u know what . . hahaha #anywhoooo . .#dom reader #top reader #amab reader #sub genshin #genshin smut #genshin thirsts #genshin thirst #sub tighnari #tighnari smut #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #thank u for ur patience aug <33 xx

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knightyoomyoui · 2 days

Text

[SMUT COMMISSION] TWICE Jeongyeon x Male Reader - "Just The Way You Are"

Word Count: 15,169 Tags: virgin sex, BODY WORSHIP AND POSITIVITY, dominant and submissive, roleplay, honeymoon, rough sex, vanilla sex, angst, fluff, smut etc. WARNING: contains smut, R+18, mature and sexual content, curse words

Here's my very first commissioned fic featuring our lovely angel Yoo Jeongyeon of TWICE requested to me by @devittobushi, a huge thank you once again for giving me the opportunity to write a commission for you! This has one objective in mind, and that is show lots of love and appreciation for Jeongyeon's current appearance through YN who will stand as Jeongyeon's best man in this story , so for those bitter body shamers of her... yall ain't allowed here with us who will still support her all the way along, unless yall wanna change. In addition, this marks my LONGEST one-shot work EVER, surpassing my Dahyun x Male Reader oneshot "Everlasting Love" from TWICE: Book Of One-Shots x Reader with 13,056 word count. Enjoy reading and I hope I did well on my first commission fic!

START

It was 9:29 PM in the evening. You are a veterinarian who is operating the only open and available pet clinic through a street in Seoul. Tonight,you are entertaining your last client who happens to visit your place to seek some assistance regarding his pet dog who is a chihuahua having some stomach issues.

“How is he, doctor?” The owner named Mr. Park asked nervously after you finished checking-up his dog, putting down your stethoscope.

“She is stable now. Nothing need to be worried about, sir.” You calmly said. “It wasn’t that life-risky, but it could’ve went worse if you didn’t happen to rescue her on time.”

“Yeah, good luck that it was my day off today that’s why I got to stay home and be with my Blossom for today.” The owner explained how was he able to atleast send her dog to the clinic. “Anyways, how is the result doc?”

"So, like I said, it was that much worse, but this isn’t a joke either. This has to be treated immediately,” you said as you felt sympathy for Blossom. “May I ask you something? Do you happen to notice something unusual about your dog that made her be like this? ”

He shook his head after quite a while of posing himself and thinking deeply. “No, Doc, I don’t remember at all. She was just fine to me, as from what I can see about her, how she moves from the last few days, but unlike earlier... she just started moaning and barking deeply enough to make me panic and scared for her.”

“Hmmm okay.” You nodded, but your theory wasn’t satisfied yet. “Did she occur to inspect something from outside your place?”

“None. My dog is too meek and quiet. She wasn’t that kind of pet that is so active enough to be a pain in the ass.” He replied. “Why, was there something wrong about it?”

“What about his eating habits, still nothing?”

You remained silent as you watched Blossom sleeping while free from pain. “She eats a lot. I mean literally SO MUCH that she exceeds the average amount of dog foods she had to consume everyday.”

“How much she ate in a day?”

“Four? Sometimes it gets higher than that.”

“Jesus, now it makes sense.” You cursed under your breath. “Oh you hungry softball, you better chill a little bit.”

You patted her belly and caressed her head before you returned your focus at her owner.

“Blossom has stomach issues, Mr. Park. It may have not been for their overexposure to waste and mess but instead for her overpassing the limit on how should a dog in a breed like her should regularly eat.” You revealed to him the specific details of your findings.

“She may have eating delicious and fitting dog food for her body but that doesn’t mean she can just take it all as much as she wants.” You continued. “Blossom’s overeating made the symptoms to form and turn into gastroenthritis.”

“I really thought at first she is pregnant.” He gasped.

“No, sir. Her belly bloated because of too much intake of food, and the undigested inside her stomach causing it to pile up and not letting the blood and the oxygen flow around their body. Their digestive system might got disturbed the more this keeps going on. It might also get infected with bacterias from the waste of all those she took and could make her gastric worsen.”

“And now that she’s here, that should mean it got prevented, right?”

“You have to less worry for her, I made her comfortably rest because I couldn’t imagine how painful it is for her to hold it in.” You said, glancing at Blossom’s sleeping state. He huffed in relief at the good news.

“I just have one advice for you, monitor and control what she eats next time. It might lessen the risk other having stomach issues, okay?”

“Got it. Thank you very much, doctor.” He nodded and bowed down in respect for you. “I’m really glad that there’s a place here already where I can go and prevent travelling far away just to search for a pet clinic.”

“You’re welcome, sir.” You humbly responded.

“Actually, lucky for you I was about to start packing up until you showed up. Talking about perfect timing.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, it was really fortunate of me to have something like this located nearby at my place, and it is the only pet clinic too.”

Those words effectively motivated him, and you preached of them because he felt like he had a bright purpose that had to be done in a place where something like this unique of a service, especially for the residents who own pets at home to go through once there was a sudden emergency.

“Anyways, I’ll just gonna pick up the papers to seal this deal up. Please wait for a while.” You gently said as you left the owner have some alone time with his beloved pet.

You returned back from your office carrying the clipped papers containing infos about Blossom’s condition, consent from the owner that the patient must stay here for continous check up and lastly the bills of the medication he has to pay for.

He signed all of them and ended their brief meeting with a mutual agreement. He lavished you again with lots of gratitude before he bids goodbye to his let and left the place, leaving you alone again in your own personal space.

“Cmon, Blossom. Let's get you somewhere safe and comfy,” you said as you carefully carried the chihuahua and placed her in one of the vacant cages filled with blankets.

After you successfully didn’t disturb her peaceful rest, you decided to divert your attention now to prepare yourself for going home. You switched the placard from "Come in, we’re OPEN" to "Sorry, we are CLOSED" so that no more clients would appear and beg to make another request at the very last second.

While putting back all the things to their necessary spots, your vision garnered attention by the appearance of a black van stopping from your client. It became more familiar when a woman stepped out and bid farewell to her fellow staff.

She turned around and started walking towards the door. Sporting furrowed brows and a confused smile, you had to witness her figure becoming more visible as she opened the door and removed her bag to be placed on one of the seats.

There she was, your girlfriend, standing in front of you. One of the idols and members of the worldwide popular K-Pop girl group TWICE is Yoo Jeongyeon herself.

“Good evening, my YN! ”She slowly walked at you, and you were startled when she immediately hugged you while in her baggy coat. She buries her head on your shoulder, and you watched her submerge herself into your contact.

“Hey, my Jeongie.” You rubbed her back. “You look really tired. You should’ve gone home already and gotten a rest rather than coming here, especially since you’re doing dance practices for your group’s comeback. Save some more energy. ”You reprimanded here with pure concern audible in your voice, as you mentioned how busy and working hard for their new single More and More.

“Ehh, why do you sound like you don’t want me to be here.” she sulked. “Well that’s why I came here for, you’re my battery YN.” Her voice was muffled, but you can already guess that one of your girlfriend’s usual behavior is to either tease you or she gets easily sulk and sad at whatever that has something to do within her actions that wasn’t entirely right makes her disturbed.

“No, ofcourse I love to see you too and I’m glad you’re okay. I just hope you could’ve thought of yourself for now because you needed it. I just care about you, Jeongyeon. You know that because that’s how I love you so much.” You caressed her long blonde hair, feeling her silky length sliding between your fingers as you pressed the side of your head against her.

“Sweet as always, heh.” Jeongyeon smiled and wiggled her face more at the broadness of your shoulder and seethed in your fragrant scent. “But you said it anyways that what’s important for you is my own sake and what should I do about it. Well, I decided to come here and see you because I can’t be alone there at the house while waiting for you. I can’t rest at ease without having you on my side, you know that.” Your clingy and soft girlfriend spoke about her defense.

“Do you really miss me that much? We just saw each other earlier in the morning.” You chuckled.

“That wasn’t enough, okay? We haven’t been able to spend some time together because of how busy we’ve been. You can’t blame me for needing you.” She reminded you why she was this eager tonight to have your affection. You smiled, as you appreciated how you felt so important for her life right now.

“I love you, Jeongyeon.” The only words you can reply at your loss of other words to tell. You hugged her tightly and kissed her temple.

“Love you more, my YN.” She giggled kissed you in the cheek.

“You good now?”

“Mmhhmm.”

“Alright, we can continue this at home sp lemme fix these up and we’re all good to go.” You said, breaking your embrace with her.

“Let me help you-”

“Nope, you stay here missy and rest. I can handle this.” You know how much of a clean freak your girlfriend is and you appreciate her consideration to help you, but like you said, her own sake is what that matters the most for you.

She must be really exhausted. You can feel how her heartbeat and her breathing were all racing. And if you say that, you mean that at all because obviously you and anybody should not underestimate how hard it is to be a K-Pop idol, and you have always alluded Jeongyeon for carrying such a heavy career.

Although before she was able to reach the seat, she paused and asked you again. “Uhh YN-nie where are the boys?”

“At the back, sleeping.” You pointed with your thumb.

“Owkieee” She went first to head through the direction to your office. You returned all the things back to their respective locations before you followed her and watched her from the doorframe.

Jeongyeon has cautiously opened the cage and pulled the tray to expose her two boys, which are technically her two pet dogs named Nanan and Peanut, both quietly sleeping, along with the rest of the pets here slated to be under your supervision and care while they are receiving treatment.

She has entrusted it to you to take care of them since her other pet, a cat named Bomb, is already with her parents. She was supposed to take them to her sister Seungyeon, who usually guards them, but sadly, as an actress, she is currently busy filming her upcoming TV show. Her other sister, Seoyeon, couldn’t do the same since she’s mostly focused on officework.

Fortunately, she has another special person in mind who has this quality that he shares with hers and finds it a huge green flag for her ideal man that she can trust for her pets. That’s one of the ways you were able to win her heart one day.

Unbeknownst to her, as you continue to watch your loving girlfriend act like a mother to her two kids, it makes your mind travel back to that one unforgettable memory that serves as the beginning of how you and her ended up to what you two are now currently in your relationship status as a couple.

FLASHBACK

1 YEAR AGO

You were busy treating one of your patients when the chime rang, signaling that the door had been opened by somebody. Your head turned to the open pathway as it stole your attention.

Leaving your medication station, you left to see your new client.

Stepping out of the doorframe, you stopped as you saw that the client turned out to be a woman. She was wearing a mask with an outfit composed of a mint-green t-shirt with leggings and some clean-looking rubber shoes. Her dog was in her arms.

“Good morning, maam. Are you gonna set an appointment?” You greeted the lady.

“Good morning too, doc. Ahh yes, please.” She nodded and slowly rocked her pet dog in her arms.

“How can I help you?”

“My dog is sick. He’s burning in fever and I don’t have anyone else to take care of her. I’m a busy woman these days.” Her voice was fully of softness and worry as she looks down at her poor dog.

“Wait a second, please. I’ll just gonna return my patient back to her cage.” You said before you made an instant action regarding her concern.

After doing what you said, you returned to the woman and instructed her. “Follow me, please.”

You and the lady ended up at the medication station to conduct a brief check-up on her dog. After removing the thermometer, you checked to see the temperature, and the result got you worried for the dog too.

“104 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s high. She does have a fever,” you said, placing the back of your hand against its body. “She’s very hot at the moment; we have to give her medicine immediately to decrease the heat in her body.”

The woman nodded, and she just let you do your own thing as part of your expertise as a veterinarian. You injected something into the dog, and its speedy breathing somehow calmed down.

“This should do. It’ll get her to take it again after 7 hours.” You informed the lady.

“Thank you so much, doc.” She bowed in gratitude.

“Okay, follow me so that you can log off and we can process the papers.”

You and her went to your desk next. She was sitting in front of you at the guest seat. “May I clarify something? Are you perhaps alone right now in your property?”

“Yes, but actually I somehow stay sometimes on my other houses than my own dorm, my sisters and my parents.” She answered. You muttered to yourself that this lady is very rich.

“Are your sister and your parents aren’t available to manage her… oh wait, what’s your pet name?”

“Peanut.”

“Cute. I see why you came up with that name.” You joked as you remembered her color, and you immediately understood the point of the origin. She also chuckled at how guilty she was.

“Okay so why was there nobody to atlesst assist Peanut for the meantime? Are all of them unavailable?”

“Yes, doc. My sister is busy also at her work and my parents… well they also do have business on their own but mostly my mom is already guarding my two other pets. I just don’t want to bring more burden at them so I decided to take Peanut here.” She explained.

“Good idea. I can assure you that Peanut will be back on her good condition again.” You said confidently. Her cheeks widened, indicating that she must be smiling behind the mask at your positive words.

“Can I get your name, maam?”

“Y-Yoo Jeongyeon.”

You were about to land the ballpoint of your pen onto the chart when your brows furrowed as it clicked on your sense that hearing that name hit you a familiarity.

“Come again?”

“I know you heard me, doc. You must be recognizing me now.” She giggled shyly.

Your mouth agaped and let out an ‘ooh’. “What a pleasant surprise. This has to be the first time I get to face a famous celebrity visiting my clinic.” You laughed. “You’re Jeongyeon of TWICE, am i correct?”

“Yes.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“This won’t do help anymore anyways.” She removes her mask. Her full visual is now visible to you, and wow she must be also the most beautiful client you have ever encountered so far in your time here.

The hand that you’re presenting at her for a handshake flinched as soon as you saw her face in full display. Jeongyeon accepted your hand, and your body shivered at her warm touch passed on you.

“Pleasure to meet you too, doc. I could tell this might be your first time… or you’re a fan?”

“Ahh… sorry for this but I’’ll go with the first one.” You cautiously said on her, fearing that she might get offended at your explaination after. “Not actually to consider myself a fan, I do have listened to some of your songs and it’s pretty good but I’m just not that invested much at K-Pop” you said in an apologetic tone.

“No, it’s fine doctor. I’m actually glad that I can atleast be able to have a conversation with somebody by just being simply as myself and not this famous image that I’ve built for myself.” She said.

“You’re right, and if that’s what makes you comfortable, then I would be willing to give you that, Ms. Yoo.”

You and Jeongyeon proceeded to finalize the necessary informations before you made it clear to her that Peanut must stay here for an estimated 3 days since you still have an available slot left for pets to remain at your workplace for stricter guidance and medication.

Jeongyeon agreed on that and appreciated your service again before she bids your farewell. Once she left, you breathed out deeply, astounded that you had just interacted with an idol and, at the same time, had such an attractive lady like Jeongyeon.

The next day, Jeongyeon went to visit again at an earlier time compared to yesterday to gain an update on Peanut, and fortunately, you brought some good news. Although Prsnut is still sick, you informed her that she is now stable and that her temperature has improved.

After getting to look at Peanut, who is resting, Jeongyeon decided to spare her breaktime from her work by engaging in some conversation with you, away from the honorifics, and rather as two people genuinely getting acquainted with each other.

They explore topics like Jeongyeon sharing her interest on opening a pet clinic too if she wasn't an idol because she likes animals too, particulary dogs and cats, you being not that much of a K-Pop fan, and some other common and difference between each other.

That’s where she learned as the mood shifted when you brought up about the fact that he's unsure if his clinic will remain here for long when Jeongyeon expressed her interest to come back here again because you told Jeongyeon that his rent exceeded due and he already got a warning from the landlord. He wanted to pay but he is struggling to attain the required money, now that it gotten higher than the previous amount of rent.

You also added that you are currently trying to search for other vacant places where you can move your clinic to escape the heavy rent.

Jeongyeon was saddened by it and hoped that things would go well for him. Little did you know, though, that when she returned again for the last day to pick up Peanut, she actually took note of it and surprised you with a reward for helping her.

“Uhm n-no Miss Yoo thank you so much for this but… I can’t accept this. This is too much, I’m just doing my work.” You respectfully refused her offer.

“No, you deserve it, that’s why, and I can see that you are a gooand easygoing with. We can be friends if you’ll even like that more.” Jeongyeon grinned and shrugged. Her invitation to welcome you to a much more explorable and closer connection with her has shocked you to the core.

You must be one of the luckiest people in the world because, despite being a stranger, you had no idea that, as you crossed paths with a huge name like Jeongyeon, you didn’t expect at all that you'd be able to make friends with her. All you knew at first was that this whole thing was just going to be a one-off experience.

“That’s why I’m doing this. I can respect your refusal, but you know I would like it better if you’ll give it more time to think and�� accept this.” She smiled and handed you a card. “This is my number, contact me when you make up your mind.”

She just left you speechless as she exits your clinic. You gulped and let out a gasp as you view Jeongyeon’s business card in your possession. Remembering her advice, you did contemplated about the offer for the entirety of the night. The next day, a one call away was all it took for Jeongyeon to get the go signal.

You and Jeongyeon visited the place, and it did match your liking. What she did after overwhelmed you when she said that she'd be the one to buy it for you, and all of the embarrassment and humbleness overflow at Jeongyeon’s initiative to help you.

But you have no choice but to accept; after all, this is already such a wonderful free treat coming from a kind-hearted woman like Jeongyeon. You accepted it, and Jeongyeon made the payment. Now she has also assisted you to relocate with the help of some movers and establish this place your official new clinic.

Because of this wholesome exchange that you and Jeongyeon made possible, this became the gateway to an opportunity when, as days went on, their bond grew until they started to feel something more for each other. That’s when Jeongyeon realized that there was another reason why she was so open to getting closer to you: she finds you interesting.

Then one day, being a true man, you were the one who submitted and initiated the first move by confessing what you feel for her despite anxious and fear. It was all washed away when Jeongyeon shockingly accepted, marking the beginning of their relationship as a couple. BACK TO THE PRESENT

You took Jeongyeon home right away after closing the clinic. Reaching your own safe haven together, you act through your words that you will help your exhausted girlfriend relax by giving her a proper massage before joining her on the bed for a deep slumber.

A week later, they have already reached the D-day for their comeback release titled More and More. You attended their first scheduled music show performance to promote their new title track and the album, belonging to the ones who were committed to appear at the studio very early in the morning since that’s the scheduled time for the idols to tape their performance before the live voting hours later.

As much as you wanted to accompany your girl at the moment, you knew that she’s getting assisted right now by her staff. You were feeling so enthusiastic and motivated to do everything for Jeongyeon today, and what came after surely didn’t have yourself to blame for why you’re being like this.

Exactly as they achieved their first win based on the combination of both live voting and the other criteria's result, it also coincided as your first anniversary together, making this day with her even more special.

Rushing through the backstage after one of the managers helped you to pass through the guards, you met Jeongyeon and greeted her with a tight hug and a proud kiss for her additional achievement today.

“Congratulations, Jeong. Oppa’s so proud of you, darling.” You said very close to her ear after kissing her in the temple and stroking her hair from behind. Jeongyeon’s breathed deepened and you felt her body trembled at her chuckle.

“Thank you, YN. Another thing for us to celebrate, isn’t it?”

“Yeah we will. So better wrap up your schedule for today because we are going to spend this day really well.” You said, staring at her with an excited grin. “Have you already told your managers about it?”

“Yeah I did. They allowed me. However, since they’re gonna move the rest of what we’re supposed to do today onto the next day, our schedule will be heavier.” Jeongyeon frowned at the consequences.

“O-oh no… wait, are you sure you’re still up-”

“Don’t worry about me, and us oppa. The girls are fine with it. They know how important this day is for us. Right, girls?” Jeongyeon acknowledged her sense of having others listening to your conversation with her at the moment and she was right. As she turned her head around, you and her caught the girls peeking at the door with their busted reactions.

They all gestured with thumbs ups and nods, even sending their congratulations for your first anniversary with Jeongyeon. You thanked them before facing your girl back.

“Time is running, let’s get going shall we?”

Jeongyeon hurriedly went to their dressing room and packed her things before she joined you and left the studio along with the bodyguards to shield you both against the fans who might trap you two in a stampede.

As you escorted Jeongyeon to the car, you thanked the bodyguards before entering too and awakening the engines to drive off through your first destination.

From afternoon to evening, you and her went to Gwangjang Market since her request was that she would love to have a food trip with all the street food they could get. You understood immediately her love for street food, so you granted it, taking her there and letting yourself get dragged along to wherever food stalls could attract her.

In the middle of a cold evening, you and Jeongyeon strolled along the uphills, where the scenery of the city was almost visible. Standing on one of the balconies, you savored this peaceful moment with the most precious woman in your life with some random talks about topics that can amuse both of you until it went to the most important aspect of why you brought her here.

You handed a box at Jeongyeon. When she opened it, her eyes lighted at the sparkling object laid neatly in front of her. It was a necklace that Nayeon recommended for you to buy when she shared that Jeongyeon was staring the most at this one while they were shopping. Even though she can buy it easily, she decided not to because their purpose on that time was to buy things that they needed the most in their dorm.

“YN… this is beautiful. I- I really appreciate this, you really searched for the place just to get this for me?” Jeongyeon’s expression went mellow for you.

“You know I will do everything just to make you happy, Jeongyeon.”

Jeongyeon hugged you and kissed you in the cheek. “Thank you so much, babe. I’ll wear this often.”

“Oh you better be. It suits you.”

“But wait, you think you’re the only one who has a gift prepared?” She smirked and slowly placed the box of the necklace on her bag.

“And what do you have for me too, missy?” You returned the same gesture as her.

“But first, let me drive this time. I want to show you it by myself.”

You had no issues with her request, and you just let her sit in the driver's seat while you’re the one on the passenger list this time. Jeongyeon parked the car in one of the parking lots in a hotel building, and you just kept yourself silent, keeping your questions as to why the two of you went here.

Reaching the final storey as they exit the elevator, you were perplexed as to why there’s only one room left. Jeongyeon pulled out the keys and unlocked the door. The interior of the unexpectedly huge and spacious room made your jaw almost drop to the floor.

“J-jeongyeon, w-what are we doing in here? Is this y-yours?” You said as you roam your eyes around the surrounding of the room.

“Correction: ours… but technically, it’s mainly for you, YN.” Jeongyeon placed her bag on the couch and gripped both of your arms. “Because this whole place was effectively bought and signed in for ownership under the name of… YN LN.”

“W-what?” Your eyes widened at Jeongyeon’s reveal. “You s-serious? Does that mean-”

“Mmmhhmm… this is all yours, mister.” Jeongyeon hummed and nodded. “You don’t have to travel farther from our house to your clinic because is this just few roads away from there. No more hassle for you.”

“This is… wow. This is awesome. Thank you a lot, truly. You’re making me feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

“Well you must be. Not only you own such a luxurious place like this but it will be never compared to that one rare and outstanding thing that you possess the most, and that is my heart. And I’m glad that you’re handling it with care, my love.”

“I just can’t broke it. I can’t seem to hurt you, Jeong.” You tucked her hair behind her ear. You and Jeongyeon shared a passionate kiss again before Jeongyeon pushed you to speak something in addition.

“Since we now live together here… that means we can do whatever we want here tonight, right?” Jeongyeon smirked as her voice slowly gets lower along with her touch from your shoulder slipping down to your chest.

“J-jeong…”

“And this place is yours, then that means you’re the one in-charge…” She starts to remove the buttons of your polo.

“Jeong, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, I trust you, YN.” was her only response. She has fully spread your clothing open, revealing your pecs and toned abs. Her breath got stuck in her throat for a while before she licked her lips. “It will be my first time too with you, so be gentle for me oppa, please.”

Confirming that she is indeed prepared to initiate this kind of activity with you, you have decided to join along with her plan. “I promise you that, baby. Oppa’s going to take care of you tonight.”

You pulled her head towards you to land another kiss, but it was still passionate until it got mixed up by some little intensity and heat built up from both parties. Reaching for the zipper on the back of her black dress, you pulled it down and slowly removed it from her body while your lips were still entangled with hers.

Dropping the dress on the floor, she is now only sporting a black laced bra on top, her warm, milky skin now in contact with yours. You released from the kiss, allowing her gasp from your hands wandered around her back and arm, along with some slight squeezes there.

Kneeling down on the floor, you unhooked the only button present that holds her waistband before pulling down her skirt onto her ankles. Looking up to her, you saw the distinct shy blush formed in her cheeks as she stared at your face on an equal level with her panty-covered pussy.

Helping her take off the skirt from her ankles as she lifts both her feet, your hands then ran through the length of her astonishingly sculpted long legs, enough to qualify for a model’s quality. The movement ended exactly at her bubbly ass, giving it a light squeeze and inserting your finger inside the hem of her pants, moving it again back and forth.

Jeongyeon yelped at your fingernails raking her sensitive ass. Standing back up to your feet, you cupped her cheeks and kissed her again shortly before you grabbed her arms and led her to join you on the bed. Sitting first on the mattress, you silently instructed her to stack herself next on your lap.

Facing you with her sexy body, Jeongyeon starts to grab both sides of your head to kiss you deeply and nuzzle onto your neck, peppering it with some sucking and licking, wanting to show you that she owns you. You did the same thing for her to return the favor, inhaling her pleasant smell and dragging your lips across the surface of her neck and her dazzling collarbones before you kissed each inch of her shoulders.

Your fingers tugged against the strap of her bra; it slid down to the cups until it located the clip on the front. Unhooking it, you set off the bra from the sides, revealing her perky B-cup-sized breasts for you, ready to be indulged by her admirer.

Not wasting any more time, you quickly sucked her pinkish nipples, giving them equal treatment as you gnawed her tits left to right. Jeongyeon mewled as she savors the feeling of your tongue coating her nipples with saliva. To add more satisfying feeling, you joined her hands in action by groping both of her milkers while you patiently devour them.

As you buried your face in her wonderful cleavage, your hands then went at her back and ass to massage them until the wetness forming under Jeongyeon’s pants encouraged her to start grinding at your crotch.

Jeongyeon pushes you to the bed, laying you down on the mattress. Having her on top of you, she immediately had her sight next to your pants, still distractingly covering her prize.

Unbuckling your belt and tugging your pants away, she left you with your boxers remaining.

The view of the outline of your hardened length made Jeongyeon dazed in lust and desire of having you to herself. To satisfy her craving, she finally unveiled your veiny thick cock standing at 8 inches proud for her. She licked her lips deliciously at its delectable size.

“Fuck, you’re so big, baby. Woah, I don’t know if this will fit inside of me.” She ran her finger nails on the underside of your shaft. You cursed out at how sensitive your cock is at the ticklish feeling of what Jeongyeon is doing.

She just cackled devilishly as she noticed pre-cum starting to drip out from your crotch. “Oh, no. We can’t just let it waste like that. Lemme clean it up for you, baby.” She starts to lift your cock with her slender hands and licked the puddle of pre-cum on your skin.

Her eyes then marveled at the humongeous size of your cock around her fist, rattling it like she’s handling a toy.

“Mmmhh… so fucking big, baby. I always wanted to taste something like this. Now I’d love to definitely keep you by my side more.” She starts to lick your head, cleaning the remaining dripping pre-cum on its slit. Your breaths became heavy at her pervy actions.

“J-jeong.. ah shit, that feels so good.”

“Do you love this? Your hot girlfriend sucking off your long, thick cock?” She starts to gently pump onto your meat.

“Yeahhh… ahmm” You nodded as you swipe some hair blocking her eyes.

“I’m going to empty your balls, baby.” Jeongyeon then began to take you inside her mouth, her mouth slurping around your girth.

You are floating into Cloud 9 until her loud gag snapped you back into reality, and as you looked down, Jeongyeon has now almost swallowing your entire length, a mission success still for an impressive deepthroat.

“It fits both into my mouth and hands, can’t wait to feel our bodies mashed together.” She then starts to fasten her blowjob, spreading the mixture of her spit and your pre cum along the skin of your hardened cock.

Jeongyeon went under to also share her attention on your full heavy balls. She slobbered on each of your testicles, arising her anticipating to have your load get emptied for her. As she returned to give you more deep sucks and tight pumps, you felt that familiar tightening of your stomach and crotch.

“Fuck my mouth, baby. I know you’re getting close.” Jeongyeon mentioned it as soon as she felt your cock twitch inside her mouth. It urged you to hold her head as a handle and start moving your hips upwards as you fuck her face, her throat getting penetrated by your girth.

As she furiously tapped your thighs, you stopped moving and let your cock slip out of her mouth to give her a break, breathing deeply and tears forming in her eyes. However, she was still enjoying it. She even slapped your meat on her face, making herself look really needy.

She returned your cock back to her mouth, giving you a few more suckers before you alerted her that you were about to reach your end. “I’m cumming, Jeong! ”

Jeongyeon felt her mouth then filled with thick and creamy white substance or simply, your cum saved up for months of not ejaculating. As you take your cock out, Jeongyeon had some few cum dripping out from the side of her lips before she licked it off with her fingers after she swallowed your cum empty in her mouth.

“Damn, Jeongyeon you are so daring, aren’t you?”

“Only for you, YN. I just can’t resist how hot my boyfriend is.” She said and licked your still hard cock clean.

“Same thoughts we’re sharing, then.” You kissed her on the cheek before pulling her closer towards you and switch position, now she’s the one laying on the bed.

“My turn, baby.” You removed her panties down from her legs before you spreaded it, taking your first look at her glistening pussy ready to be taken and had its virginity invaded with the cock owned by man it adores.

You buried your face deep through her slit, tracing it with the tip of your tongue. Jeongyeon sighed loudly at the pleasure it provides. You flicked her clit repeatedly, tensing her lower parts more.

“Mmhhmmm… f-fuck, baby yeah that’s it, make that talented mouth of yours show how can it to me~” Jeongyeon bit her lips and gasped at the feeling of your sweet suckle on the fat borders of her pussy. Your tongue then went back to work inside her walls, wiggling it and bumping it on each sides.

“Oh god i’m cumming, haaahh I’m cumming on that handsome face YN!”

Jeongyeon lived up to her words, squirting her love juices straight at your face, while you try to catch some of the fluids to drink by your mouth. Sweet and tangy for your impression, it still paid off to witness your girlfriend now lost in the sensation of sex, riding her orgasm off with eyes shut off.

You kneeled between her legs and dragged the tip of your cock again to her slit. “Are you ready babe?”

Jeongyeon nodded whilst feeling a bit nervous. “P-please, YN be gentle…”

“I will, baby. Just say if you need to adjust okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, but don’t get me wrong YN. I really love to do this with you. I want this to finally happen.”

“Me too, Jeong. Now we all have the time in the world to fulfill our desires.” You said before giving her one last nod as you start pushing your length slowly inside her pussy. Jeongyeon shuts her eyes off and groans a bit at the pain.

“Babe, you okay?” You asked her with worry.

“Yeah, just give me a bit of time to adjust.” You nodded and waited for her signal to proceed. She did, and you started to move once again. Her groans and yelps trying to take your size more transformed into moans and whimpers of pleasure as you performed your fifth and more gentle thrusts at her.

“Goddamn, Jeongyeon you’re so tight!” You grunted and gritted your teeth at how perfectly it strokes your cock as it compressed your girth.

“And you’re so fucking big inside of me, baby. You’re almost touching my womb, I can feel it poking me!” She said as she spreaded her legs even wider.

You held her ankles as you tried to speed up your jams, sending Jeongyeon delighted at your attempted aggressiveness while in a missionary position. Letting her legs wrap around your body, your hands are then planted on her bouncing tits.

“Ugh ugh ugh aghmm… yeahhh hnnghh~” Jeongyeon lets out melodies of delight out of her mouth at the heavenly pleasure of your cock banging her tight pussy.

Your strokes went slow as you tried to tease her next, making her whimpers louder. As you felt that curling feeling again, you laid your body on top of Jeongyeon and kissed her once again, your tongues dancing along to the rhythm of your movements.

You were now fucking her at such a rough pace, your balls slapping the bottom of her ass, sending her rocking crazily on the bed. Her breasts are now squished within your pecs.

“O-ohhh fuck yes there! You’re hitting the spot oh so deep, baby…”

“Jeongyeon, shit… I’m about to release it!”

“Do it outside! I can’t get pregnant yet!”

You take out your cock. As an alternative way to make your cock feel like its still ravaging her pussy, you lift up her legs and pressed them together. Inserting your cock between her juicy thighs, you continued your pace and your length sliding through the surface of her cunt made Jeongyeon feel the satisfying effect of it too.

“Shit, I’m cumming again Jeong!”

“Give it to me!”

On one last push, you blow your second load, splattering around her torso, mostly at her breasts, lips, and stomach. You gave off a few strokes in her thighs before you let go, laying down beside her on the bed.

Jeongyeon scooped your cum on her body as much as she could catch and swallowed it once again with pure will. She hummed in delight at its delicious salty taste. You and she stared at each other, exchanging both amazed and hilarious chuckles.

“I can’t believe we just did that.”

“Yeah, me too. You were really serious about getting this moment happen.” Jeongyeon laughed at your joke.

“Thank you for being my first time, YN.”

“I’m much grateful as you are, Jeong. To have it with such an amazing woman like you, especially, the only one that my heart prefers.”

You kissed her again before Jeongyeon starts to sit up. “I have to clean myself. You really did made a mess out of me, huh.” She teased you as she points at your cum dripping on her tits.

“That’s what you to do me for being so hot.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and playfully pushed you to the side. She offers her hand at you. “Come on, join me to the bathroom and get clean up.”

Well for that initiative, you have no intention to decline, especially when its an another opportunity to appreciate your bodies further. Stepping into the shower, you and Jeongyeon shared some more affectionate touches under the running water flowing down to your bodies, the lust and love you have devoted to your lives have became uncontrollable to resist.

During the bath, you and Jeongyeon helped yourselves clean up, rubbing your bodies with some sneaky squeezes at the intimate parts until it became sexual again.

You cupped and massaged Jeongyeon’s breasts from behind with soapy hands while Jeongyeon knelt on your knees and gave you another round of blowjob before ending the shower and getting dressed back up. You and Jeongyeon then slept together on the bed to end your special day.

That was the last time you saw Jeongyeon at her full and sincere energy. Another week has passed since you suddenly noticed that something was wrong with Jeongyeon after you observed that she often complains about her neck and back aching a lot, even at some minimal movements.

Being a concerned boyfriend, you tried to investigate her workplace through her co-members, and you learned from them that they also noticed Jeongyeon enduring that pain. What’s surprising was that it was already happening since their preparation for More and More, and it just got more serious now that they were preparing for their next comeback.

Later that night, while she was using her phone, you decided to break the silence by confronting her about it. “Jeong. Can I ask you something? ”

“What is it?” She sounded dull.

“Is your neck giving you a hard time?”

Jeongyeon’s fingers stopped from scrolling through her phone as she got surprised at your question regarding her condition.

“H-how can you say so?”

“Jeong, I’m not blind, and I mean it when I often tell you day by day that I care for you.” You answered. “How would you think I wouldn’t noticed about it? I look at you, checking up on you time to time and then I often caught you wincing like you’re in pain. It bothered me and I decided to ask from your members if-”

Your words were cut off when you heard Jeongyeon sob. You rushed beside her and hold her hands. “Jeongyeon, why?”

“I-It hurts, YN…” she said between her sniffs, placing her face on your shoulder. It broke your heart to hear her poor voice clearly in pain.

“Why were you not telling us about it? The girls even said you were holding it in since your preparations for More and More. Was that true?”

“Y-yes…”

“Good grief, that long?” You were astounded at her revelation. “Why did you keep it as a secret? You could’ve told us about it.”

“Because I don’t want to miss the promotions, okay! ”Jeongyeon’s voice rose, making you flinch. “I don’t want to disappoint the fans, and I didn’t want to stop because I don’t want to put all my efforts and hard work I poured into this all to waste.” Her cries begin to get louder.

You remained silent as you let her express the thoughts disturbing her. “These days, I feel like I haven’t been receiving much recognition for what I’ve been doing just to entertain ONCEs, to the point that I don’t even know if some are just too hard to please or if there’s really something wrong with me. But to include that possibility, then that means I have to do something about it in case it’s like that too.

So I practiced hard and cooperated with the staff and my members to the best I could, because I want to avoid myself getting seen as someone who's just not enough for the group.” You helped Jeongyeon wipe her tears off her eyes. “And now, it frustrates me that my stupid neck won’t want to get along with what I am trying to achieve, but I’m trying not to let it get in my way, even if it’s hurting me really bad every day.”

You sighed and rubbed Jeongyeon’s shoulder to comfort the weeping woman. “Jeong, if that’s what your perception is about what the other fans hold their opinion about you, then they are not real fans as what they claim themselves to be. You can’t force yourself to be the best because you’re already at your best at what you do. And do you know one of the indications why I am saying that? And that is because you have us who love and support you, along with those real fans that you entertain with your charms and talent.

So don’t get brought on with their negative comments or impressions about you, because it doesn’t matter as long as you are not stepping on other person’s reputation. You are doing a great job, Jeongyeon. Please, don’t stress yourself now okay?”

Jeongyeon continued to cry again after hearing your words. You resumed your comfort before voicing out your request.

“We have to get you look by the doctors tomorrow, okay?”

Sadly, it was found out from the results of the x-ray that Jeongyeon is suffering from a herniated disc on the back of her neck. The company then learned about it and advised Jeongyeon to stop attending practices for now, as one of the priorities of JYP Entertainment is their idol’s health.

They were unsure at first if Jeongyeon would make it until the promotions for ICSM, but unfortunately, it was confirmed that Jeongyeon wouldn't be able to participate when they went for a check-up again with the psychologists on Jeongyeon, and this time, it showed that she is much more likely suffering from an anxiety disorder due to the effect of her herniated disc.

Since her hiatus requires her to stay at home for now to began her recovery, you then saw how Jeongyeon was badly dealing about it as she became even more down everyday not being able to join the girls on the promotions.

As usual, you have to do your role as a boyfriend by promising that you'll be there on her side always to help and console Jeongyeon.

And you were exerting everything to provide what Jeongyeon urgently needs right now. Thankfully, she is easy to instruct because she listens responsibly, like when it comes to taking her medications on time and trying to find some ways to distract herself while resting through some of her favorite hobbies at home: playing Legos with her dogs, cooking, and others.

However, occasionally the one thing she can’t avoid is her guilt and worry about her group being incomplete, and the fans missing her are killing her inside. She still holds herself responsible for the unfortunate circumstances that her group has to overcome because of her situation.

It was evident from you that there’s something that disturbs her inside. Her mood swiftly changes when she feels like the flow of the good mood you have been sharing with her has run out. It became one of your challenges for her that you must keep the ball rolling whenever you’re spending time with Jeongyeon.

Just like what she does for you, she was also following the doctor's advice that she must not tire herself too much from other heavy activities, restricting her more from going outdoors and performing some of her heavy interests like doing workouts, mountain climbing, etc.

The unavailability of those had made Jeongyeon change plans during the course of her break; thus, she decided to find a solution to relieve her stress through some freak cleaning and frequent eating to satisfy and recharge her energy.

With the combination of medications and the amount of food she daily intakes, you can observe the difference that her anxiety and injury have brought to your girlfriend. Jeongyeon began to gain weight while her mood remained unbothered.

On the first week of January, Jeongyeon's mental health slightly improved thanks to your proposal to celebrate Christmas and New Year with you and her family.

She then made a request and the company tested if she is able to go back now on stage by granting her to participate in promoting with the members, and since they have an upcoming schedule to perform their recent comeback in an award show that will have no crowd in attendance due to pandemic protocols, that opened an opportunity for Jeongyeon to join her members at least once.

Hugely accepting the offer, the members were emotionally happy for Jeongyeon, brought by longing and their support for the recovering woman.

“Unnie, I missed seeing you around!” Chaeyoung said as she ran through Jeongyeon and hugged her quick.

“You look like you’re getting better, unnie. How are you doing these days?” Dahyun asked her.

“Doing well. Thanks to YN.” Jeongyeon smiled shyly.

“Ahh, you’re so lucky that you have such a caring boyfriend like oppa.” Sana said as she pouted while letting out cute noises.

Jeongyeon then noticed that Tzuyu was just smiling at watching her co-members reconciling with her. She probably guessed that Tzuyu is embarassed to check up on her personally while being surrounded with her unnies, as she knew her unnies usually teases their savage maknae to be such a cute softie baby instead.

“Tzuyu-yah.” Jeongyeon called her, snapping her senses back as she startled.

“Won’t you say hi to unnie? I’m sad, my Tzutzu doesn’t want to have me-”

Tzuyu’s eyes largened and her expression changed into fear. “Ehh!” She shook her head and dashed at Jeongyeon, not giving a damn anymore to her playful unnies but in her surprise, the girls just clapped and awwed at them. Tzuyu got slightly shy that her thoughts were wrong and the girls were waiting for her instead to make a move.

“Sorry, unnie. I just don’t know what to say, but it’s really great to see you again with us.” Tzuyu said. Jeongyeon understood her immediately. She knows that Tzuyu wasn’t that vocal on advices and sharing sympathy when in comes on consoling someone. She rather speaks louder using her affectionate actions.

“I missed you too, Tzuyu.” And the youngest member delighted at her words.

“We really didn’t expect that you’re gonna do this, Jeong.” Nayeon said, referring to the offer. “We’ve heard that you’re keeping progress on your health and we’re not forcing you to do this, okay?”

“I know, but I had this urge in me that I wanted to give it a try. I don’t know what it is, but I couldn’t stand seeing us incomplete and not the same OT9 that the fans adore much. I don’t want them to experience again what happened when Mina took a break before.” Jeongyeon said and looked at Mina who weakly smiled and nodded understandably at her.

“So don’t mind me with this, what matters is that we can give the fans what they want before we release another album again.” Jeongyeon motivated her members.

“You’re so brave, unnie. Thank you for doing the same thing what I always wanted for ONCEs.” Mina said to Jeongyeon, remembering the time she wanted to make a surprise appearance to see ONCEs in personal while being on a hiatus also during Feel special era.

“I guess it makes us the same too, huh.” Jeongyeon smirked and Mina grinned while nodding.

“Alright, we’ll be there for you, unnie. As a leader, I must do my responsibility to guide my members for safety, and if you have any instances that you feel nervous, just hold my hand during the show okay? I’ll stand by your side like I’ll always do.” Jihyo stared at Jeongyeon who started to blink her eyes rapidly and bend her head away.

“Agh Park Jihyo even you? Why are you guys being like this, I don’t want to cry!” Jeongyeon whined. The girls laughed and they locked their beloved sister in a group hug. Meanwhile, you just returned from claiming your orders at the delivery guy waiting on the outside of the building.

You stopped at the door of the dance practice room and smiled as you watch the wholesome sight of the group, not wanting to interrupt their moment.

The event has occured, and Jeongyeon’s surprise appearance definitely shocked the fandom to the core. Her return became even better when they also won an award too. While she is watching their performance, her curiousity led her to peek at the comments and they were all positive coming from the heartfelt fans.

Although, the ocean of positivity has met its shore when Jeongyeon landed next to the Naver site, she saw some articles about her return that wasn’t actually favorable from some netizens.

They have noticed that Jeongyeon's endurance and stamina decreased compared for before, reasoning it out due to her sudden change of figure, making Jeongyeon hurt and offended by some rude comments about them.

She shut her device right away and revisit what happened to her during the event. She knows also to herself that she’s not 100% but she gave her best because what’s important to her is to entertain the fans again like she loves to do.

She tried to forget it and acted like nothing happened when you returned to the living room to spend the night away resting with her.

She then accepted to return back from hiatus by joining her members promote Alcohol-Free. It only lasted short though when it was spotted that there are claims that she’s hurting herself from the way how she’s exhausting heavily while performing, giving the netizens a mixed reaction again based from her condition.

Her secret didn’t last long also when you caught her viewing the sites related to what happened earlier. You snatched the tablet and turned it off to spare Jeongyeon from what she have seen.

“This is why I told you to stay away from engaging in social media apps too long, Jeong.” You said to her. “It won’t do no good to yourself.”

“I didn’t even meant to see them, but I knew already that I’ll be receiving complains like I used to.” Jeongyeon said while she’s laying sideways, away from you.

“Jeong, just don’t get brought up by their useless pathetic comments. They just can’t appreciate people’s hardwork, that’s why.”

“That’s it. You said it yourself. How can they appreciate what I’m doing if maybe… my hardwork wasn’t enough yet.” Jeongyeon said before you noticed that she slept after while you are advicing her not to think like that.

You sighed and joined her to the bed, cuddling her into comfort.

She wasn’t lying when she said those words to you last time. It drove her to grind for improving herself on practicing their Japanese track Perfect World to prove herself, only to cost her getting affected too much by the comments she saw that not only lifted up her motivation to excel but caused her emotional state to be depressed, halting the progress rather.

Her condition got worse, with the doctors and the company putting her back for a short hiatus again, which caused her to miss the dance practices for The Feels. It was like something inside had snapped. Her behavior and mood also changed drastically for you; your kind words of assistance weren't working enough anymore to convince her that she’s going to be okay again.

Through the first two weeks of her hiatus, you can see from Jeongyeon that she’s acting differently whenever you try to interact with her. While yours were gentle and kind, hers was rather the contrast of how you treat her.

She would just answer you with a blank face, minimal words, and a and a robotic and bland tone that would lose your enthusiasm to talk with her.

Sometimes you would just catch her staring into the unknown, and as much as you wanted to come up to her, you knew she'd silently request that you leave her alone.

This is not the Yoo Jeongyeon you knew and loved. It’s not right anymore, you thought to yourself. You know you have to do something to end this because this ain’t something she is incapable to do, both for her personal well-being and for the people around her who're impacted by it.

This urge has pushed you to confront Jeongyeon regarding her unusual antics, unintentionally leading both into an altercation.

Not because of what you said, but from what you have just heard from her when surprisingly, she was the one who initiated to break the silence during your dinner with her.

“By the way, I’m packing my things tomorrow, YN.” Jeongyeon said, taking one of her last scoops on her food.

“Packing your t-things?” You stopped moving your spoon through the plate. “Why, where you going?”

“Back to my parent’s house.” She blandly replied.

“Oh. We better sleep right after this then. Let me escort you tom-”

“Not needed.” She simply rejected. Your brows started to meet.

“Jeong, you know it’s not safe for you to go outside on your own. You’re still not well, the fans and media can just-”

“It’s not your problem anymore.” Jeongyeon’s hands gripped tightly on the table. Your stare went deeper at your girlfriend.

“Not my concern? Jeong, I’m your boyfriend.” You huffed. “Come on, what exactly is wrong with you? W-why these days… I feel like you’re trying hard to… push me away. Was there a problem? Don’t you need my assistance anymore?” You made a direct approach. It has became impatient and insufferable already for you to hold these thoughts that’s bothering you everyday.

“Or was it still the same?” You sighed heavily and scratched your forehead.

“It’s not.” Jeongyeon muttered. You were barely able to catch what she said.

“Say again?”

To your astonishment, Jeongyeon looked up and gave you the same intense stare, but her aura was different from yours. Gazing into her eyes, you had the impression that you were witnessing her most vulnerable state of being tonight as she attempted to disfigure herself with this act of hostility and coldness.

“I want to break up with you.”

Your body froze, looking at her in fright, heart and mind rambling and constricting at the same time just absorbing that sentence you thought you will never going to hear from her forever.

“W-what…?”

“We’re d-done.” She said to you and twitched her head away to avoid staring at you. “You don’t have to look up for me, I’m giving you freedom now to do whatever you want to do.”

She stands up and was about to enter her bedroom when you stood up and hit the table hard. “You can’t be serious, Jeong! Just like that?”

Jeongyeon stopped on her steps, her back facing you. “After everything I’ve done? Jeong, I’m not stupid. This isn’t the best of you, we both damn know you never want to say that.”

“I mean it, YN! Was I not obvious enough why I don’t need you now? What else you want me for you to understand!” She yelled as she turned around to look at you. You just stood there and stared at her bursting out her frustation at you.

For the first time, your eyes dwelled with tears made by the anguish in your chest after receiving those words of despise coming from someone you love the most out of anyone that you never know would express herself that she will end up hating you.

“Jeong…” You called her breathily. She was dumbstrucked seeing you emotional because of what she did. “W-what happened to us?”

She remained silent observing your stability shatter into pieces. “I’m not gonna be fooled by your acts, Jeong. You’re just saying that because you’re tired… but you don’t meant with all your heart because I know right there, I’m the one you will always love to be with.”

You slowly walked across her and Jeongyeon lowered her head to avoid gazing at your broken state closer. “You can’t just leave me with “why?”. How about me, huh? I do get tired, trying to fix you, but did you hear me wanting to break up with you?”

You raised your chin and made her look at you. “No. I didn’t stopped, I NEVER stopped, because I can’t abandon you. I can’t bear seeing you helpless because of the same thing. I love you, Jeongyeon and that… is what I mean a lot.

Don’t let me go, please. That’s all I’m asking for.” You cried as you held her hands and hold it tight. “Just tell me what’s the problem, and I’ll carry it too. We have to solve this together, I can’t let it cost you. You’re the only one I have left.”

Jeongyeon couldn’t control her own tears as she got defeated easily by your pleads of sorrow, demonstrating your unwavering and loyalty of your unbreakable love for her.

She felt pity immediately thinking about you losing her, and knowing that she has became very important aspect of your life, it’s cruel for her to apply a worse circumstance on other people than her own suffering.

Jeongyeon raised your hands together and gave yours a deep kiss. She laid her head on your chest and sobbed heavily in your arms. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you too.”

You hugged her closer to you and keep yourselves soothed in your warmth creating by this burning affection you share for one another. “It’s fine. I know everything must be so hard for you, but please don’t ever consider removing me or others who are willing to stay by your side and guide you to recovery.”

“It’s not that I don’t want others who care for me, it’s just that… I’m just scared, that I might just hurt and displease you because of how I’ve changed.” Jeongyeon began to explain while you wipe your tears in her face.

“That made me began to hate myself these days. I feel like I’ve losing my worth into people lives and rather becoming a burden. And I’ve tried to distance myself from you because I thought… I might just making you suffer too much to take care of me, and i feel like I’m unattractive to be paired with you. You deserve better, so I made a plan to slowly make you quit.”

She said before she broke down again brought by guilt and regret. You continued to ease her emotions off, patting her head and caressing her back.

“Jeongyeon… everything that you said, that’s not happening at all.” You gave a feedback. “You may have confessed that people might probably dislike you for how you look now compared from the previous that they’ve grown accustomed to recognize you… but I’m not.

Jeongyeon, you don’t know the level of fear I’ve got when I heard you breaking up with me. Let’s say, one of those is because you think you’re not pretty as before in my eyes anymore that concerned you. But no…”

You traced her visuals with your fingertips, Jeongyeon felt chills as she stared at your eyes encapsulating primal desire as she felt her face being admired by the man she adore.

“How about I do something… to prove I’m not letting go easy, and to make you know how you will always be the epitome of my ideal woman in my eyes.”

You catched the back of her head and pushed her into yours, colliding your lips together. You walked and guided her through the bedroom, shutting the door with your feet before you continued engaging into a wild kiss with Jeongyeon.

You removed your T-shirt and pants, sparing your boxers as the only piece of garment left worn. Jeongyeon sought that as a signal to get rid of her own clothing too, but you hold her hands to prevent her from doing.

“Don’t. All you have to do is watch and submit. Because tonight… is all about you, my love.” You kissed her again before rotating the blushing Jeongyeon, facing her through your full body mirror.

“Look at you, such a masterpiece.” You whispered in her ear as Jeongyeon watched you stroking her hair from behind. Your hands went lower, sliding it across the sides of her figure. “Shall I start doing a breakdown of what I observe that makes you understand… how special you are?”

Jeongyeon just nodded, very flushed at your sudden change of demeanor. You may have caught her response, but that wasn’t enough for her. “Cmon, baby. Don’t be shy, use that pretty voice of yours. Make me hear it.”

You whispered to her ear while you wrapped her waists and pushed her closer to you. Jeongyeon whimpered as she felt her ass bump into your boner. “Yes p-please… let me know.”

“Good. Let’s start with your face, babe.” You squished her plump cheeks and gave it both kisses, making Jeongyeon’s blush intensely. “Back from the time I’ve saw you in my clinic, the first thing my mind commented was how exceptionally beautiful you are, Jeongyeon.”

“Sure, there may be other women around there who are also beautiful but… yours is just… unique. And I don’t lie when you’re the one I still wanted even after all this time, because my heart only prefers the beauty you possess.”

Jeongyeon smiled at your endearing compliment. You kissed her on the temple before moving on. Your sight was on her neck, massaging and sniffing on her scent. “These smooth, milky neck and shoulders that you always expose from me. That’s why I love laying my head or burying my face onto your skin, makes it better whenever I miss having your touch on me.”

You peeked to see Jeongyeon shutting her eyes and savoring your touch. “Don’t close your eyes too long, baby. I want you to see everything.” She complied, and then she realized that you’re starting to lift her shirt up, holding the hem.

You smirked as you teasingly slowed down your hands beginning to cover her cups before you planted them suddenly, yelping Jeongyeon. You kneaded her boobs gently through the bra. “So soft. Whenever I catch you changing up and get to see you in your favorite set of lingeries, not gonna lie, it makes you so hot, Jeongyeon… especially today.”

“These nice tits, so flawless and pearly, contrasting to the color of your enticing black bra.” Jeongyeon heard you groan while groping her boobs, turning her on.

“But ofcourse, nothing gets better when I see them uncovered, for my eyes only. .” You sensed the clip on her front and unclicked it, exposing her packed set of breasts laying neatly on top of her ribcage. “Goddamn, they’re so perfect.”

You resumed to knead them again, making sure that you give them equal attention. Jeongyeon starts to gasp and whine as your fingers twists and pull her nipples. “You say your body gets ugly, but it just became better for me Jeong. Look at your tits, they’ve became bigger… perkier�� and heavier.” You said while playing at them, jiggling them in your palm.

“Makes me wonder, if I put a baby on you today and make your pregnant, wouldn’t these get even more bigger. And God… getting these huge jugs filled with milk, I’m afraid our baby won’t be getting everything of it, because daddy have to share instead, I may even couldn’t control and won’t spare a drop.” You whispered seductively as your hands circling her tits intensified, now matching it with your crotch humping the outline of her ass.

“Please… fuck YN I’m about to lose it, hurry…” Jeongyeon said as she felt her panties getting soaked now by her juices.

You understood what she meant, your hand went to her bottom. “Oh goodness, you’re really soaked down there. Couldn’t wait to fuck you, huh?”

“Y-yes…”

“But hold it a bit longer, we’re not through yet, baby.” You chuckled devilishly. Jeongyeon whined as you left her crotch and slowly kneeled beside her, your hands went attention now to her tummy that gained some fat due to the effects of her medication.

“You call this ugly but I take it to be cute, instead. I can’t wait to lay my head on these fluffy tummy of yours whenever I’m bored, baby.” You said as you pinched her belly and wiggled it. “Those bodyshamers who will dare to berate you will definitely feel my wrath, Jeong. Nobody can insult you.”

Your fingertips then reached the waistband of her jogging pants. “Ah yes, we’re getting closer to the main event.” Jeongyeon continues to watch you work on her lower part, pulling down her pants. She stepped out from it and there she is, all left with nothing but her matching white panties.

“There’s another thing why I love your body even more, Jeong… is through these.” You ran your hands, inspecting her long legs and giving her thighs some squeeze, eliciting an ‘ahh’ from Jeongyeon. “You have gotten way even thicker this time, Jeongyeon. I think I’ll get addicted burying my face and willingly die onto these meaty, juicy thighs compressing my head.”

“T-that’s harsh. I-I still want to keep you.”

“Course you do, nobody can appreciate you better than I do.” Jeongyeon looked at you and blushed.

She watched you again at the mirror, caressing the length of her legs before you playfully bumped your finger at her core, letting out a lewd sound from her. “Y-YN!”

“And lastly, this.” You repeated it again, making Jeongyeon close her legs for a while before you removed her panties, and Jeongyeon is now fully naked in front of the mirror.

You kneeled again, rubbing your face on her ass and burying it between her crack, sniffing on it. “Y-YN… it’s d-dirty down there!”

“I don’t care, but you still smell so intoxicating, Jeong.” You gave a kiss on each of her cheeks before spanking her.

“Ahh!”

“Do you love me smacking these fruity butt you got, Jeongyeon?”

“Y-yes…”

You slapped it again. “God you’re so perfect. Sculptured and blessed by the gods with a perfect combination of huge tits and firm ass. Thank heavens for making me the luckiest guy in the world, thinking that I can have this all by myself.” You whistled. “And you think I would have the guts to find another woman when I already have mine as the best.”

Jeongyeon’s heart is blooming at your continous praises for her body and beauty, effectively boosting her confidence.

“Spread those legs, baby. Let me see that dripping cunt of yours.” She followed you, and there she showed her pussy tainted with her pre-cum.

You traced it and catched some of her fluid, sending chills again on her body as she felt her folds scratched by your fingertips. Your way of licking her juices off your hand just makes Jeongyeon’s arousal even higher.

You cupped her pussy and inserted two of your fingers inside her, pushing and pulling it to trigger her walls. She started to hold on to you to maintain balance. “Ahhh mhhmm…”

“Say, Jeongyeon. You’re just begging to be fucked now, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes…”

“Louder, say it clear.”

“PLEASE FUCK ME YN, I can’t take it anymore…”

You speed up the face of fingering her cunt. “More. Give me more.”

Jeongyeon bit her lips and gasped at the feeling of her pussy being invaded by your slender fingers. “Ah I-I’m coming…”

“You do? Release it first. Don’t be shy squirting in front of your loving boyfriend.”

With few more rams, Jeongyeon sprayed her juices on the floor and onto your hand and feet. You felt Jeongyeon heaving deeply, but you didn’t let her rest as she suddenly felt your cock grazing her wet pussy, realizing you have stepped out of your boxers already, making both of you now naked on the mirror.

“Do you want me to fill you up so bad and make you a mommy, Jeongyeon?”

“P-please, I don’t care. Just give em all to me.”

You catched her face and lean it closer to you, breaking character. “Control your hormones, babe. You can’t get pregnant yet, still have career to maintain right?” Jeongyeon got embarassed, realizing how horny you have turned her already. You chuckled. “But, I get you. Promise, I’ll give it to you in the future, I’ll give you as much cum as you want in any of your holes but first, I just know where to put it for now.”

You licked her jawline and nibbled at her earlobe before raising one of her leg and point your tip at her. Jeongyeon’s eyes widened before it transformed into arousal and delight that she’s about to get fucked by your enormous cock. “You’re gonna be loved tonight, Jeongyeon. All you have to do is watch me.”

You sink her into your length and Jeongyeon lets out her first moan as you begin to plunge into her slow in a one-legged standing position.

She wrapped her arms around your head and kissed you. Your other hands went on playing her tits as you continued fucking her.

Your pace increased, now creating smacking sounds resonating around the room. Jeongyeon watched herself getting bounced feverishly in your arms. Few deep pumps and she was shocked that you released and drop her to the floor, releasing your cum into her face and her upper chest.

Jeongyeon understood what you have meant, you did have found some alternative technique to atleast not let your cum turned to waste. She scooped some of it and have a taste before you leaned forward and presented your still stiff cock on her.

Jeongyeon didn’t hesitated to put your cock inside her warm mouth, giving your shaft some cleansing with her saliva. She gave you a usual impressive blowjob, she looked at the mirror to see your satisfied expression while patting her head like a good girl, motivating her to perform better.

Jeongyeon lifts your cock and went next to your hanging full balls. She sucked gently on each testicles, nibbling on your foreskin and rolling her tongue at its roundness.

Jeongyeon didn’t hesitate to put your cock inside her warm mouth, giving your shaft some cleansing with her saliva. She gave you your usual impressive blowjob, and she looked in the mirror to see your satisfied expression while patting her head like a good girl, motivating her to perform better.

Jeongyeon lifted your cock and went next to your hanging full balls. She sucked gently on each testicle, nibbling on your foreskin and rolling her tongue at its roundness.

Entering her asshole, you fucked her slow which made Jeongyeon moan and grit her teeth at how big you are inside of her. You also joined her moans and curses because of her tight she is, but the perfect grip that she has around your girth is what effectively makes her ass stroking your cock even more pleasurable.

You started to fuck her faster, her ass id now being pounded against your crotch. Maintaining your hold on her waist, you took a short time to let go one of your hand to give some few smacks on her asscheeks again.

“Do you like me fucking your precious peachy ass, baby?”

“Yes, fuck! You’re about to tear me apart with your big cock, YN!”

“You can take it, right? You must be going crazy right now feeling my cock fill up your tight ass.” You said as you continued to hammer her.

“Ugh yes, you can do whatever you want YN. Your cock is the only one I need fucking me.”

“I bet you do, because look at how compatible our bodies together. You’re so perfect around my cock, and I’ll be using it to please you whenever you want!” “Oh yes! Harder baby, pound me!”

You fucked her faster at full speed, testing your energy and Jeongyeon’s until you reached your climax, firing more seeds inside of her ass. As you released, Jeongyeon watched you smack your creamy dick in her cheeks before she felt that ticklish burst of your cum overflowing her hole.

Reaching for some tissue, you wipe off some of your cum before you pick up Jeongyeon and make her sit on your lap. To make sure she can still get a full view of the sexual interaction that both of you are engaging in, you positioned her as a reverse-seated cowgirl. Lifting her up, you slammed her, then back down on your cock, fucking her again into a nice slow introductory pace.

Jeongyeon just lustfully and gratefully watched you perform your intimacy stored solely for her, kissing her neck, playing with her huge breasts while caressing her tummy.

She was indeed feeling loved and honoured tocherish such an awesome man like you who is returning the same exact amount of how she wants to experience what love is supposed to be.

Her smile went wider and bigger as she has continued to cooperate and join with the flow of your intercourse with her. She is simply enjoying having her time alone with you tonight, appreciating your way of servicing her to overcome and forget her personal problems even for a moment.

On your observation, you sensed Jeongyeon beginning to add some movements of her own as you continue to penetrate her underneath. She was now grinding and rolling her hips to stimulate her walls and stroke your cock in other angles.

Her moans have gotten constant and repeated, lifting your hormones to encourage pleasuring her as much as you can provide for this wonderful woman sharing a bed with you tonight.

“You seemed like you’re liking this now, Jeong. I can feel you moving now on your own.”

“Yeah… fuck mhhmm you’re right. You never fail to get me hooked on with your big cock impaling me, baby. I can feel every inch of you filling me up so good. Don’t stop… ugh hngh~”

“Oh don’t worry, I still got a lot left in me, baby.”

You leaned back and laid on the bed, letting Jeongyeon now ride you on her own. Enjoying the view of Jeongyeon bouncing erratically on your lap, all you had to do is to gasp in amazement at how your girlfriend becomes even more skilled at sex when gets hornier.

“Fuck you’re so big, YN. I would love to have you invade me everyday.” Jeongyeon continues to praise how great your cock makes her feel. She twerked and rolled her hips more, eager to receive your load for her.

“Jeongyeon, I’m about to cum!”

She gets off from your lap and formed like a ball between your legs, she pumped your cock a few times before your seed aimed at her mouth and tongue, taking a taste of your addicting creamy load once again.

As she let go of your cock, she laid beside you to take a minute of rest. You still have enough stamina left. You repositioned Jeongyeon so that she could still be visible in the mirror. You turned her aside and slid underneath her body.

Now in a 69 position, you have an excellent view of her streaming wet pussy and her freshly fucked asshole gaping with your newly unloaded batch.

You gave each peck on the flesh of her vagina’s exterior before flicking and poking her clitoral area to stimulate her on the edge. The more you kept on teasing her, Jeongyeon was matching your game with her hums around your cock and repeated hollow sucks on your mushroom head.

Kneading her thighs and spanking her plump ass one more time, you lifted Jeongyeon a bit to signal her that you'd be moving again. She lay prone on her side, and you went behind her to insert your cock back in her pussy this time.

Fucking her again in a spooning form, Jeongyeon combs your head as she whimpers and refreshingly sighed at your mouth sucking her tits while you press her legs and fuck her pussy from behind. Your other hand was directing her boobs on your face to add more stimulation on her intimate part.

You paused to fuck her pussy when you come up of an idea that interests you. Jeongyeon suddenly felt the warmth of your shaft between her thighs, and just as she discovered, you have now ejaculating yourself between them.

You grabbed her hand and placed it in front of your tip. Moving your hips as your stomach begins to curl up for a familiar climax, you released your sperm with most of it landing onto her palm.

Jeongyeon made a show by staring at you as she licked your sperm through her hand, turning you on at her sexy and sensual gesture. Her mischievous smirk inspired you to get up from your knees and straddle her torso.

Squeezing and fondling her huge tits for a short foreplay, you grabbed your cock and sandwiched it to her succulent bosoms. Performing a titfuck while she’s under you, Jeongyeon tries to catch your head with her tongue to please you further. Thankfully, with your massive length and width, she was able to grab a taste of your irresistible meat.

Now giving a rough pounding on her abused tits, you didn’t give a damn anymore if you’re getting aggressive. You ain’t stupid to catch her needy look looking up at you, challenging you to give everything you have because she’ll fall for it more.

Couple more strokes and you mounted her face by pushing your cock deep in her, depositing your load that flooded her inside.

Jeongyeon swallowed again, ensuring that none would be left wasted as a way of replacement for not being able to have her pussy filled yet with your baby batter that would make her womb fertilized.

As you let Jeongyeon rest again for a while, you went your attention on her hypnotizing tits, sucking and gnawing at them like there’s no tomorrow. Having a glimpse of hee now watching you do your own thing, you sensed that she must be now back on track.

“Can you still keep up, baby? We can stop now if everything’s enough for you.” You said as you gently knead her breast.

“How about you?”

“Well I can still do more. You’re just so attractive tonight, Jeongyeon. How would I say this? Hmmm… oh yeah, I can’t stop me.” You winked at her before Jeongyeon wheezed and laughed.

“Witty.” She rolled her eyes at you and chuckled.

“That makes us even.”

“You’re so good tonight, you know. You make me wanna say more and more, because I’ve been craving to have this again with you.” She said as she patted your face.

“Wait, is that another reference again?” You squinted your eyes at the guilty and sheepish Jeongyeon acting like she didn’t got caught. You pinched her nose. “Ahhh!”

“You dork.”

“It hurts!” She pouted and touched her nose. “Just continue eating my tits, you pervert.”

You wheezed and shook your head as you played again with her breasts until you remembered something. “But seriously, I’m happy that I can make you laugh again.” Your eyes went tender for Jeongyeon as she just watched you become serious.

“This is what I just want to see from you. Being here as my girlfriend while I’m convinced that you’re doing fine. Your smile is one of the things that calms me down and keeps me going through the reality of life. You can’t blame me why its such a big deal for me to lose it, how more if I… lose you completely.” Your tears escaped again from your eyes and Jeongyeon wipes it off.

“I’m really sorry, YN. I became selfish not thinking that you’re struggling as me too. And to involve others with my worries and fears only to get their feelings hurt… especially you. I don’t think I should have a nerve to pity myself for what I’ve done.” Jeongyeon apologized.

You reached for her hand and lock it in your grasp. Laying beside her, you cuddled her and laid her head on your chest where your heart only beats for her. “I don’t care how many times I would be going to make this known for you, I still and will love you in just the way you are, Yoo Jeongyeon.

Your body figure doesn’t matter to me too much because the reason why I love you is because of how kind-hearted you are and I feel like I own you too much since the beginning.” You said to her.

Jeongyeon remembered that she was there for him in ups and down, to provide him that would require saving like for example: his pet clinic before. And now she also realises that you were doing the same for her. You also became the special person who will do anything to stay by her same most of the time, bringing her back to when they first met.

You didn't treated her as Jeongyeon from TWICE but simply as by herself, as a normal human and Korean citizen named Yoo Jeongyeon, like she always wanted to receive from anybody whether they may be part of the fandom or not.

“How fitted a woman’s body wasn’t my qualification to make you my girlfriend. Even if I marry you in the future, it’s not because I’m in love only because of the way you look, but because you fulfilled my dream and I devoted myself to give your soul and existence a meaning to my world.”

Jeongyeon kissed you directly through the lips and hugged you tightly. “I love you so much, YN.” That’s what all it took to show her utmost respect and value for your role.

As you and her go on for another heated kiss, you felt your cock being woken back up by her thighs poking your shaft.

Bumping into her folds, you spreaded it wide again as you inserted it back inside of her, fucking her passionately before you and her both go on into another multiple number of positions, basically them having sex around the house, shooting a gallon more of cum in her mouth and ass until you and her are too spent. You and her then slept together at dawn, with your dry flaccid cock still tucked into her snatch.

Because of that moment you shared with her, Jeongyeon slowly starts to recover from her anxiety, trying to be confident and love herself for her new figure and become not much bothered by the hate comments.

She then goes to hang out more often with her family, members and her boyfriend. It made her successfully return and fully participate for the upcoming comebacks like Talk That Talk, Set Me Free and One Spark while also attending endorsements and doing modeling again to spread body positivity and break Korean beauty standards.

And in April 2024, the media, the K-Pop community, and especially the fanbase of ONCEs across the world were surprised to learn about the announcement that Yoo Jeongyeon made.

You and her officially tied the knot at a chapel in Ulsan, and many acquaintances, friends, and relatives from each other attended to witness the grand wedding. The couple were very honored and grateful for their attendance. The event became the headline of numerous news stories and articles.

Both excused themselves and rented a hotel room to celebrate their marriage in private during the honeymoon trip. There, they fucked each other's brains for hours, granting your sworn words that you’ll be making her a mommy in the future by finally pouring everything you have in store through her fertile womb, which ultimately led to Jeongyeon giving birth and welcoming your first child into the family.

Now that Jeongyeon has accomplished all the dreams that she has shared with you to come true, the idol is proud and fully assured that their love is truly unconditional and that she claims you as the perfect man for her who will always accept, believe, and stand by her no matter what happens that might attempt to bring her down.

THE END

#twice #twice jeongyeon #jeongyeon #yoo jeongyeon #twice jeongyeon x male reader #jeongyeon x male reader #jeongyeon x m reader #twice x m reader #twice oneshots #twice au #twice fanfic #commission #commission fic #kpop oneshots #kpop au #kpop fanfic

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hogwartslegacyreactions2 · 3 days

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Hi there! First, I wanna say I absolutely love your works; they are all great, and I enjoy reading every one of their reactions!

Can I request to see HLC (including professors) react to MC sniffing them (out for many reasons, but mainly they want to remember their smell)? Just genuinely curious about what they would usually smell like :) Thank you! And wish to see more works of yours!

A/N: laughing so hard the whole time writing this 🤣

HLC REACT TO MC SNIFFING THEM

SEBASTIAN SALLOW: Old books and smoke. He smells like a stack of forgotten tomes that were set on fire. He raises an eyebrow and laughs. "You're not going to lick me next, are you?"

OMINIS GAUNT: Clean linens and a touch of mint. "...did you just sniff me?" One would think he'd be used to MC's weird behavior by now. Alas, he is not.

ANNE SALLOW: Wild flowers. She smells like she's been laying out in a meadow in spring. She smells her own robes. "What? Do I smell bad?"

IMELDA REYES: Broom polish and various wood scents. She gives MC a strong side-eye glare. "What are you doing?"

NATSAI ONAI: Incense and fresh cut grass. She gives MC an unsure look but smiles anyway. "You're acting strange. Even by your standards."

GARRETH WEASLEY: He smells like an apothecary shop threw up on him, that also exploded. "What? Do I still smell like burnt rat hair? I thought I got that out."

LEANDER PREWETT: Cheap cologne that screams "try hard", but at the same time isn't overly offensive. He side steps away from MC. "Please, stop that."

AMIT THAKKAR: Parchment and spilled ink. He startles when MC sniffs him and he jumps away like a startled cat. "What was that about?"

EVERETT CLOPTON: Depends on the day. There is no consistency with him. Some days he smells like a pack of dung bombs, others he smells like a summer breeze. He sweats nervously, hoping that MC doesn't smell dung bombs.

POPPY SWEETING: Ever smelled a horse with feathers? That's her. She watches MC curiously. "What are you sniffing around like a niffler for?"

~~~

ELEAZAR FIG: A well kept library. Old leather and parchment. He sniffs MC back. "I'd say we're both due for a wash after all the running around we've been doing."

MATILDA WEASLEY: Orchids, her favorite floral scent. She gives MC an unsure glance. "You could just ask what perfume I use."

CHIYO KOGAWA: Leather and sweat. Even with quidditch canceled, she's always out and about the grounds. "Don't sniff. That's rather rude."

AESOP SHARP: The wizard equivalent of Old Spice and a hint of fire whiskey. He just rolls his eyes. He doesn't get paid enough for this.

ABRAHAM RONEN: Sugar and cinnamon. Always smells like he just came back from Honeydukes. "Oh my, do I smell bad?" He's genuinely concerned and smells his own robes.

MIRABEL GARLICK: A garden. Flowers, soil, pottery; the whole shabang. "I was repotting mandrakes with the third years today. Sorry if I smell a bit ripe." She laughs.

MUDIWA ONAI: Incense and palm oil. She offers MC some incense. "Would you like to burn some for your dorm? You smell like you could use it."

BAI HOWIN: She works in beast pens all day. Enough said. MC doesn't even need to get close to smell her on some days.

DINAH HECAT: Amazingly. Nothing. Her time as an unspeakable has taught her to be undetectable, even by smell. Old habits die hard.

CUTHBERT BINNS: He doesn't so much give off a scent, as he does a cold chill if MC gets too close.

SATYAVATI SHAH: VERY faint smell of cherry blossom. She's very guarded of her personal space, so MC will have a hard time catching it.

PHINEAS NIGELLUS BLACK: Expensive cologne and hair tonic. He steps away from MC. Ew. Students.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy reactions #hogwarts legacy professors #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #imelda reyes #natsai onai #garreth weasley #leander prewett #amit thakkar #everett clopton #poppy sweeting #eleazar fig #aesop sharp

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veliseraptor · 17 hours

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April Reading Recap

Stars of Chaos vol. 2 by Priest. I'm not quite grabbed by this one yet. I'm not not enjoying it, but the main relationship doesn't quite have me compelled, and the politics aren't quite sharp enough to get me either. I'm not totally sure I'll keep buying the published volumes, at least not at this time, and just read the rest online to see how I end up feeling about it as a whole before making the financial commitment.

Medea by Eilish Quin. Listen, I'm a Medea apologist, but I'm a Medea apologist who is very much of the "she absolutely did all the awful things she's accused of and she is valid" and the author here is going "she did all the awful things she's accused of but it's not as bad as you thought it was because she didn't mean it!" and I'm just. I'm not mad, just disappointed (again). I was so hoping for a book that would do something interesting with a Medea retelling but I probably should've known better than to think it'd be this one. Why, you may ask, do I keep reading myth retellings about my problematic faves when all I do is complain about them? Hope springs eternal, I guess.

She Who Became the Sun and He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan. Exceptional. Might be my favorite books I read in April. I'd already read She Who Became the Sun back when it was first published and knew I'd enjoyed it (was rereading to refresh my memory for the sequel), but I felt like I enjoyed it more the second time around, and I might've liked He Who Drowned the World even more than its predecessor. If you're looking for works of just-barely fantasy with delightfully fucked up queer characters, come get 'em here. I won't say most of them are happy (they're not) or that things end well (they don't), but boy is it good reading.

The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling. Decent horror but not particularly outstanding, in my opinion. I liked The Luminous Dead more.

Untethered Sky by Fonda Lee. I continue to struggle with novellas. This was a perfectly good novella but it felt like it could've been a stronger short story, which I guess is better than the other way I usually come out of novellas, which is "this was a fine novella but it should've been a novel."

The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler. I really liked this. It has more of a thriller-ish edge than I expected, but for all that I think it's a thoughtful book with some interesting things to say, and I feel like it's one I want more people to read so I can talk to them about it. It's set in a sort-of spooky, near-future dystopia, but a lot of it is about, like, the nature of thought and consciousness. Anyway, I found myself compelled.

Islands of Abandonment: Nation Rebounding in the Post-Human Landscape by Cal Flyn. I found myself reading this thinking a lot about The World Without Us, a book I read many years ago and would kind of like to reread, and which I think I liked more than this (at least in my memory). I was hoping for more analysis than I got from this book, which was beautifully written but more nature/travel writing than science. One thing I did appreciate was the attention paid to the human cost of the "abandoned" places examined in this book - the pain that abandonment often signifies, and the trauma it indicates, in spite of the beauty that may come after.

Emperor of Rome: Ruling the Ancient Roman World by Mary Beard. I really liked the way that Beard chose to do this one - namely, taking it by theme rather than by emperor, and breaking down different areas of the emperor's life over time rather than trying to tell a linear narrative. It also let her do some of the better "skeptical" reading of sources that I've read in a popular book on ancient history, where she was actually digging into the "rather than what this says about what this person may or may not have actually done, what does it say about expectations, beliefs, and tropes that people had" kind of reading. And after some of the other popular histories of Rome I've read, thank god for that.

Metamorphoses by Ovid, trans. Stephanie McCarter. Continuing on with my "reading new translations (by women!) of classical epics" run (started with The Odyssey, The Iliad is on my list). It was fun to reread Ovid! As usual one of my favorite parts of this was reading the translator's note and introduction, and I wanted about 500% more of that through the text (tell me about the assonance you're preserving in the Latin!) but did get some of (thanks for the information on the penis/pubic hair puns!). Overall would recommend as a good translation of Ovid that very much does not flinch away from - and makes/keeps appropriately uncomfortable - the sexual assault.

Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat. Slightly more YA than I usually like, but I enjoyed it! I was a little :\ about it for a while, very much feeling the YA cliches of it all, but the late hour twist got me interested again, and I will be picking up the sequel. Did miss the full balls-to-the-wall iddy joy of Captive Prince, though, since I probably wouldn't have picked this book up without the author recognition.

Subversive Sequels in the Bible: How Biblical Stories Mine and Undermine Each Other by Judy Klitsner. I really liked this one, particularly for its commentary comparing and contrasting Eve, and the other women of Genesis, with later Biblical narratives. I don't know how much I buy all of her arguments when it comes to intentionality of all of the comparisons she's drawing, but it certainly makes interesting food for thought, and a good sampler for me of what literary-based Biblical scholarship can look like (and an indication that I'm interested in trying more of it).

Use of Weapons by Iain M. Banks. I read most of my way through this book continuing to really appreciate what Banks does with the Culture novels and planning to continue on reading the next one, but not enjoying this specific one as much as I did The Player of Games in particular, and then I got to the very end of it and went "hang on what the fuck???" but in a decidedly good way. And I'm still kind of thinking about That even though it's been a while, which I think is a positive. Anyway, I don't think I'd recommend this as a starting place for anyone to read the Culture novels, or as a must read, but it was on the upper end of a three star rating.

Juniper & Thorn by Ava Reid. I wanted this to be more gothic horror and less romance and it ended up being more romance and less gothic horror, was my feeling. Not necessarily the book's fault, but if anyone else is eyeing it wondering...now you know.

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik. I really enjoyed this one! I was kind of skeptical going in - I'm not a big magic school person, as a rule, and the more I feel like something is hyped to me the more I tend to drag my heels about it - but Naomi Novik is really good at what she does and she clearly had a lot of fun here. It's tropey for sure, but I enjoy the narrative voice (very important, in a first person narration), and the action moves along with what I felt was pretty good momentum. The other thing I was worried about - that it'd feel too much like this was just ~commentary on/against Harry Potter~ without saying anything for itself - didn't materialize for me. I'm looking forward to reading the next ones.

The Monster Theory Reader ed. by Jeffrey Andrew Weinstock. I'm so rusty on my academic/theory reading and I felt it reading this collection, some of which was definitely better than others. Kristeva's essay on abjection was particularly rough as far as "I'm reading words and I know all the words but something about the order they're going in is just not making sense to me." Overall...it was a decent primer? There were a few very interesting essays in there; my favorite might've been the one on tanuki in modernizing Japan's folklore, but there were a couple on "monstrous" bodies that made me wish I had someone to discuss them with. That's probably my main problem reading academic works these days: I want a seminar to dissect them afterwards and I just don't have that.

The Sabbath: Its Meaning for Modern Man by Abraham Joshua Heschel. I'm trying to read something Jewish on Shabbat now and finally getting around to reading some Heschel after years of meaning to. I thought "oh, I'll start easy with something nice and short" - yeah, no, Heschel's got a very particular style of writing and there's a lot of theological depth packed into a very short volume. I'm looking forward to reading The Prophets, though.

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun vol. 5 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. I think we're juuuuust about caught up now with the official translation to where I started reading the machine translation, so I'm very excited for (a) things I don't remember as well (b) reading it not in machine translation. Also looking forward to everything about what happened with Nangong Liu and Nangong Xu making more sense this time around, on account of not reading it machine translated, because I didn't follow it so well on my first read and I feel like I'm already doing better. (Though that could also be because it's a reread, no matter how different an experience of one.) Still feel real bad for Ye Wangxi, on so many levels. Mark that one down for 'characters I'd love to know more about what they're thinking.'

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang. I really enjoyed S.L. Huang's other work with the Cas Russell series, and I liked this book a little less than those. It felt like an almost winner, for me. Certainly I read through it quickly enough, and I can say I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure I'd give it an enthusiastic recommendation. It falls somewhere in the middle between "a fun action/adventure story" and "something I can sink my teeth into" in a way that didn't quite satisfy either itch. Still, it did make me curious about the source material, which is one of the Chinese classics (Water Margin) and I might go and find a place to read that, if I can; if I'd had that background going in I wonder if my experience of this work would've been more edifying.

I'm currently rereading A Memory Called Empire so I can (finally) read the sequel (A Desolation Called Peace); I also checked out from the library the next two Scholomance books so I'll be reading those. I'm going to try to throw some nonfiction somewhere in there (maybe The Genius of Birds by Jennifer Ackerman, which I also have out from the library, but maybe something else), but I've still got the sequel to The First Sister sitting on my shelf (also from the library).

Outside of that I've got no big reading plans - I'm working my way through some of the unreads on my own shelf (despite what it may look like, about the library books) and eyeing The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky or a reread of Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett so I can continue that series.

#long post for ts #reading recaps #sometimes i read things #sometimes i wonder if i should have more like. summary information on what books are about #but i am lazy and also that's not really the point #important text posts

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mrchaosman · 17 hours

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A VERY SOCKFUL HOLIDAY

HOO HOO HOO.

It is I. Sockman Clause.

Your one-time-in-a-year santa.

Well, if you wondering: Why am I here ?.

Well, I'm here to give you some presents, Silly.

So, let's see what I have for you, shall we?

Glitch's Gift.

Well, happy birthday Glitch, sorry if Raily looks weird, but I did my best.

This one like been done for like three weeks.

So yeah, happy birthday for you @glitch-the-artist

Petra's gift.

This is Alice, and she is an axolotl monster kid.

She can change her colors depending on her emotions.

She also very shy but she enjoy hanging out with her friends.

She enjoys ball dancing (a bit) and reading and writing lovecraften horror stories.

Secret Boss buddy: Detective Noir.

And For those who didn't who is this guy, Detective Noir is a secret boss I submitted to Petra, he is Dess' diary and he speaks in calm tune.

So I hope you like it, @petra-creat0r

Grimmdeltarune's Gift

Well, here: They are.

The True Mike...... I crap I mean Grimm deltarune.

Look at them, they look very Glamourous.

It's not that perfect but yeah, I hope you like it.

It also been send by someone, I don't know his name, it was something like, Scamter?, Scamern?, I don't know.

@grimmdeltarune

Static's Gift

Here is it.

The One

The Only.

Static The Host of the most.

The fantastic creator of DELTARUNE: RECREATED.

and every creative mind deserves a cool.

I hope you like it, @thestaticshow

Cannibala-Co's Gift

Well, I have decided to sprite your secret bosses.

Not the best but I hope you like it, @cannibala-co.

Also @howlnessandresisaak3551 secret boss Krisly.

And last but not least.

@mercair buddy.

I really appreciate your support and everything, I really do.

No one ever was so much nice to me before.

I really grateful for you.

Thanks man, I really do,

I really appreciate and grateful for you and for your sympathy towards me.

Just like a brother to me.

(Wow, these years really made me a monster).

Anyway, I really hope you like it, buddy.

Well, I guess I have delivered all the presents.

But still, there's still one more person I'm gonna deliver a gift with a little message.

So you again, friends.

HOO HOO HOO.

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ironunderstands · 8 days

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Yapping about why I love Aventio and what I feel makes it a great ship

(If you hate it I urge you to read this, because you don’t have to agree with me, but I want you to get where Aventio shippers are coming from at least)

I’ve just really wanted to talk about why I love Aventio because the people do not get it like I do and GODDD ITS SO GOOD WHEN DONE CORRECTLY UGHHHHH

Also this is gonna be VERY stream of consciousness I do not have a plan besides dragging you through my brain so enjoy the ride.

I guess the best place to start is the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are my two favorite characters in the game. Like even if they have no interactions with each other ever and might as well be from different pieces of media I would ship them, because I like seeing characters I like interact and the fun police cannot catch me. That’s a really shallow personal reason though and I feel like the rest I have will be able to be appreciated by others.

GOD THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD RAAAAAA

Two emotional constipated dumbasses circling around each other like black holes trying desperately to deny and run from their feelings when they have both fallen hard. The lack of acknowledgement of feelings on both ends is TRAGIC and it makes me want to rip my eyes out in a good way, let’s start with Ratio.

Unfortunately my glorious king Ratio has been mischaracterized to hell and back but we will get to that (and the Incorrect Reasons Why People Hate Aventio) later. Instead I will go over his actual character; a deeply insecure, intelligent man who desperately wants the rest of the galaxy to come to the realizations he has long since stumbled upon, but has been so isolated from his peers from such a young age that he’s doomed to fail in literally every social interaction he has and be misunderstood by both the audience in universe and irl (the autistic coding isn’t helping him either).

Ratio is tragically misunderstood again, both in universe and by the audience, which is why it means so much that Aventurine Gets Him. Aventurine pushes his buttons, tears down that literal cold marble facade masking the deeply silly and caring man beneath (this man bathes with rubber duckies in the privacy of his own home 😭), and that scares the shit out of Ratio. People aren’t meant to see through him, Ratio acts rude not just because he believes it’s the best way to help people, and because he believes he himself is mundane and the conclusions they come to should be their own, not his.

No, it’s also because on some level Ratio is afraid to be vulnerable around people. As much as he pretends like it doesn’t affect him, Nous’s rejection has hurt and haunted Ratio for his entire life. And I do mean his entire life, even in high school he had already set up a strict routine for himself, something commented on by his teacher, Ratio has quite literally always been striving for some sort of perfection and the fact that he cannot achieve it kills him.

Moreover, the guy just grew up way too fast, he didn’t have time to develop social skills. We see it in that afformentioned relationship with his teacher, in which they recommend Ratio (who is again in high school) to be moved up to college level stuff and transferred due to his success. He has quite literally never been able to just relax in a environment of his peers, Ratio for some reason we don’t yet know has always been dedicated to constant improvement and that leaves no room for dealing with failure.

On some level, he knows this too, that he can never be perfect. Ratio is part of the Mundanites in the Intelligenica Guild for a reason, he doesn’t just see himself as mediocre because he believes everyone is and that’s ok, but also because he looks down on himself for being too mediocre for the Genius Society, being too mediocre for Nous’s acknowledgement, being too mediocre for anything.

Which is tragic because Ratio is very accomplished and he is very smart, and his character stories aren’t even told from his pov, but rather in the style of documentaries and letters (his professor) and other works on his well acclaimed life. We don’t ever get to see how Ratio really sees himself, just the tiny cracks in his marble facade that let the real man behind the character shine through.

Because that’s what he’s playing 90% of the time, a character. Whether it be at the Herta Space Station in which his real goal was to uproot the researchers blind worship of the Genius Society, or in Penacony in which he plays up the arrogant, narcissistic scholar both people in universe and irl make him out to be, both to serve a goal bigger than himself.

Sincere moments from Ratio are RARE but god are they beautiful, his conversation from Screwllum in 1.6 and his note to Aventurine in 2.1 will forever haunt me in the best way possible. If you want to understand Ratio as a character, yes read his character stories, but just watch that damn scene with Screwllum it is phenomenal. He cares so much and is so, so bad at expressing it, he drives me nuts, Veritas Ratio the man you are.

And the thing is, it seems like he’s always been playing a character and doesn’t know where the real him ends anymore so he just sticks to the way people perceive him a lot of the time. Like as a kid he was constantly striving to be the best so he missed a lot of necessary developmental shit, and as an adult he’s a celebrity so it’s hard for him to attach himself to others anyways because society and his students will hound him for it.

And then you throw Aventurine into the mix, and oh boy does shit get interesting.

Veritas Ratio, perfect “unfeeling” Veritas Ratio and the one person who gets him well enough to push all his buttons and expose the vulnerable underbelly he thought he hid so well. On a fundamental level, Ratio understands this, which is why he doesn’t bother with the alabaster head, as pretending the real him is just as unfeeling and uncaring is easier.

So he brushes off Aventurine’s jests as if they are an insult to his very existence, he can’t look in Aventurine’s eyes when he “betrays” him because his poker face would break, he leaves as soon as he’s done talking because lingering would allow the weight of their conversations to sink in. Part of it is because for pretty much all of Penacony, up until the note Ratio gives him, Ratio is acting, trying to play up the role of the arrogant, unfeeling scholar to make Sunday buy the betrayal plan, because to Sunday this behavior is signs of a bad relationship between the two (honestly the fact that the audience also interpreted it this way makes me mad like did yall seriously not pay attention, but also happy because if even the players were fooled that means Sunday buying it is believable).

However, even if it feeds into his insecurities, Aventurine knows that false facade and loves tearing it down. It’s very telling that the second time we see Ratio really freak out (the first being at Herta Space Station) is at the suggestion that he came to narrate Aventurine’s demo not because of knowledge or respect for the show or whatever, but because he genuinely likes the guy. What makes it even better is that Aventurine is the one who suggested it, and already figured out the excuses Ratio was going to use to deny it. Ratio can fool everyone else in the galaxy, but he cannot fool Aventurine, and on a fundamental level that is what makes their dynamic work, because Ratio knows Aventurine in the exact same way.

Aventurine can shove away people who care about him, out of distrust and fear that they will leave him like his family did. He can believe he’s unloveable and a person so detestable that even the actions he performs in order to stay alive condemn him to hate himself as much as the rest of the galaxy hates him. But, Ratio doesn’t see him that way.

Aventurine doubts his intelligence, if he has really earned anything he’s done and in his voiceline about Ratio, doubting if Ratio even sees him as smart or worthy. However, Ratios voiceline about Aventurine is about how he believes Aventurine is smart and worthy, and that his doubt will be his downfall if he doesn’t come to the realization that he isn’t worthless.

Ratio knows Aventurine’s one weakness, the one thing that could stop him; himself. That’s why he gives him the note urging him to stay alive and keep on living because ultimately Aventurine will only ever fail if he gives up. And The Note Is Enough, Aventurine walks into the event horizon of a black hole, confident he can return alive on the other side because someone cares about him, BECAUSE RATIO CARES ABOUT HIM, and wants him to live on even if Aventurine doesn’t feel that way towards himself.

In the metaphorical and literal manifestation of the meaningless of the universe, in the face of overwhelming nihility, Aventurine survives because someone loves him, and with that love he’s strong enough to brave even that.

Even if they can’t admit it out loud, these two deeply, deeply care for one another and trust each other perhaps more than anyone else in the narrative. The betrayal plan would have never worked if there was not mutual trust, Ratio wouldn’t have gone to Penacony in the first place if he didn’t trust Aventurine, and Aventurine wouldn’t have asked him to come if he did not trust him. We don’t just see this trust between Aventurine and Ratio either, and Jade and Topaz both trust him with their cornerstones, but ultimately it’s Ratio who’s physically with him the whole time, risking his life alongside him for the sake of their plan.

As much as people like to ignore it, lying to the Family members, to Sunday, is extremely dangerous and puts Ratio’s life in danger as much as it does Aventurine’s. Ratio is not an irrational person, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t have faith Aventurine would succeed, he would not have done if he didn’t think he would return. They have absolutely faith in one another and it’s beautiful.

Aventurine’s first constellation is named “Prisoner’s Dilemma” for a reason. A social experiment in which two prisoners are captured and separated, if they sell the other one out and remain silent, they go free but the other remains in jail for 20 years. If they both sell each other out, they get a sentence of 5 years.

But if they both remain silent, trust the other, they even if they physically can’t communicate and don’t know what the other says, they get the best possible outcome, only one year in jail each. It requires a sacrifice on both ends, they both still have to go to jail, but only for a year, and only if they trust each other completely, as if the other sells them out they will be in jail for 20.

The prisoners dilemma relies completely on trust, and it’s the exact situation Aventurine and Ratio face in the Penacony quests. Aventurines doubts if Ratio’s betrayal was real or not, even if he set it up himself, and Ratio worries about Aventurines survival, if continuing this plan will end well. “You can’t expect a featherless bird to take flight” isn’t just Ratio chastising Sunday, he’s genuinely worried that this plan will put Aventurine at too much of a disadvantage to continue on.

But they both trust each other, and if just like in the Dilemma neither come out completely unscathed (although it’s much worse on Aventurine’s end), they ultimately achieve their goal.

God is it sweet and corny in the best way possible

I want to kill this fandoms perception of stoic, emotionless Ratio because once people realize he’s actually the corniest mf ever is the day I sleep easy. He makes statues of himself doing Jojo poses, he plays chess versus himself, he named himself Veritas (truth), he loves rubber duckies, he literally sits in a bathtub couch, and Aventurine breaths and he gets flustered.

Ratio so deeply silly, chronically corny, it’s a crime he needs to be locked up someone stop him.

And Aven brings that out of him. His teasing reveals the goofball trying so desperately to disguise himself as a serious scholar. Ratio is very smart of course, but that only makes his silliness better, as you watch this absolute genius of a man behave like a tsundere schoolgirl.

It’s not like Aventurine is some paragon of seriousness either, he’s the one teasing Ratio, fucking around even in a serious mission. Yeah it’s partly because he wants Sunday to think he’s incompetent, but it’s also because Aventurine genuinely is having fun, enjoying himself before the serious part of the plan kicks in, and the meantime he does that by messing with Ratio.

Their dynamic of Aventurine messing with Ratio, and Ratio trying desperately to pretend like it doesn’t affect him is as hilarious and heartwarming as it is tragic, and that dichotomy is why I love them so much. It’s fun and it hurts so so much because their interactions being this flavor of silly leaves almost no room for the sincerity they both desperately need from one another.

AND GOD I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. RATIO MENTAL BREAKDOWN SCENE PLEAASEEE LET HIS WALLS CRUMBLE PLEEEEAASEE PLEASE PELADE PLEASEEEE EPLES DOLS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

They’ve gotten closer and closer and closer and soon something’s gonna snap because they are so close yet so distant and if something doesn’t change the tension is just gonna boil over AND I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. I need more Ratio scenes I need more interactions with him I need him with his guard down I need him to profess out loud that he cares about Aventurine I need him to break please he needs it, it would be so good for him. It doesn’t even have to be from Aventurine, just Ratio snapping and revealing the fucking mess he is under his facade and not being rejected by the people he cares about for it is enough.

I honestly doubt it will happen in the story though, as much as I want it to. Although Aventurine’s character demo somewhat changed my mind against this, I feel like hoyo is like “ok they get the vibe between these two we can move on” and the shippers are left to extrapolate how this relationship would go beyond what it is now. As much as I want a breakdown scene for Ratio in general, it probably wouldn’t happen in a while but devs if you are reading this PLEASEEEE.

The only time Ratio ever gets slightly out of his element is with Aventurine but I need it to go further because god it would be interesting.

Well I’ve deemed that enough yapping about why I love Aventio (for now 😈) so let’s talk about why people hate the ship and why most of the reasons behind it a fucking stupid. (Massive disclaimer of course you can dislike it it’s just a lot of the “oh it’s a horrible ship and anyone who likes it sucks” shit isn’t grounded in reality in the slightest and I’m tired of the slander)

“Ratio was racist to Aventurine”

Now this is a spicy one because if this post was made in 2.0 I would 100% agree with you (during that time I shipped a non canon version of them in which that did not happen because how dare u do my boy like that hoyo). However 2.1 changed a lot and I mean a lot, and basically reframed the 2.0 quests for everyone.

Essentially, Ratio and Aventurine were both acting in that argument scene, making the things Ratio said to Aventurine not how he really sees him, and actively something Aventurine wanted him to say, so you cannot blame him for what he said. I’m not even joking or exaggerating, retrospectively it quite literally does not make sense if you view it in any other way, and honestly even with just the knowledge of 2.0 the scene doesn’t make sense if played straight, so let’s get to why.

a) Ratio and Racism do not mix fundamentally. Ratio is a person who believes that everyone deserves and education regardless of background, that it is a scholars duty to help others achieve that, and no matter who you are, you are capable of intelligence, learning and becoming the best version of yourself, and that those qualities are just limited to geniuses.

THIS AND RACISM DO NOT MIX. “Oh yeah education and improvement is possible for everyone except this specific group of people for some fucking reason!!” Like not only would this scene being serious contradict Ratios entire character, the man who believes people should not be judged for their educational background judging Aventurine for his educational background (that’s actually what the Sigonian upbringing line meant, it was mistranslated in the EN version)??!?!! Make it make sense.

Moreover, half this perception also come from the fact that hoyo made the incredible writing decision of naming Aventurines planet after a slur for Romani people, so unfortunately literally anytime its name, Sigonia, is brought up you’re essentially saying a slur. It’s much worse in the CN version, in EN it’s not obvious at all, because our version of the slur (it starts with a g and ends with a y that’s all the hints you’re getting), doesn’t look like the version of the slur that the name for Sigonia was derived from, which is partly the source of this misconception as I’m pretty certain most people assumed Ratio (and by extension Sparkle) said a slur elsewhere in the conversation when in reality them referring to Avens ethnicity/background/planet IS the slur.

Anyways terrible writing decisions aside, Ratio supposedly being racist doesn’t just contradict his core motivation, it contradicts his job. He’s a scholar, for fucks sake, and racism is inherently illogical. Mmm yes I’m gonna base my identity around finding truth for myself and I will believe government and social propaganda about specific groups of people! Very logical, very scholarly, we all clapped.

So yeah, doesn’t make sense on a character level, to the point that in 2.0 I concluded that they must be using Ratio as a plot device in that scene to deliver some of Aven’s backstory to the audience due to how OOC it was for him 😭. However I wasn’t necessarily wrong, Ratio was delivering some of Aventurines backstory to AN audience (not just us), and he was behaving OOC in the 2.0 scene, but it was on purpose.

b) The betrayal plan

Aventurine forms a plan in which him and Ratio pretend to betray one another in order to sneak the Aventurine cornerstone into the dreamscape by replacing it with the Topaz stone (red herring + black hole scene dialogue implies she and Jade are there for other reasons) and the Jade stone (perfect dupe).

Now this betrayal hinges on Sunday, their main antagonist buying it, actually believing that Ratio would betray Aventurine on a mission as important as Penacony, and it requires Sunday also buying that he is winning the whole time, that the loss of the cornerstones was somehow a fumble on Aventurine’s end rather than something he planned all along.

So, they stage the 2.0 conversation. Ratio yells at Aventurine for losing the cornerstones, something which was part of their plan the whole time. He then insults Aventurine’s background allowing Aventurine to reveal key details of his past that Sunday would not have learned otherwise, which he uses in the trial against Aventurine. Seriously, Aventurine only found out he was the last Avgin when he became a Stoneheart, do y’all think Sunday summoned that info with his mind or something during the trial (like do you guys genuinely think Sunday read his wiki or something)

Moreover, Ratio not only insults him, but portrays Aventurine as useless, disposable to the IPC because he is apparently already sentenced to death. Why does he do this? Well, so Sunday feels confident enough to do the same to Aventurine. Seriously, sentencing an IPC member, especially a high ranking one to death is a risky move, even for someone as convicted as Sunday, he would need the confidence to do so and learning Aven might already die would give him that ability.

Because well, it doesn’t matter that much if he’s already going to get disposed of in the near future. I also think the IPC plans to use Aventurine’s “death” as leverage against the family because they were pleased to hear of his death sentence according to Dr. Ratio, meaning a) he likely did not have one from them at the time, although in the past he was sentenced to death and b) even if Aventurine succeeded in getting the cornerstone his seeming loss in the rest of the conversation wasn’t actually a loss at all, getting sentenced to death/“dying” at the very least was part of the plan all along as the IPC could still use it as leverage if things went south.

Continually, Ratio treating Aventurine in the exact same sh1tty way the rest of the galaxy does perfectly slots him into the arrogant, uncaring scholar role, which Sunday knows are some of the most easily manipulated people in the galaxy, considering he tries to bribe Ratio with knowledge about Stellarons it seems he bought this idea hook line and sinker. Sunday isn’t even subtle about it either “I heard you and your companion haven’t been getting along lately” where did he hear that from? Ratio didn’t tell him, and even though we know Sunday was 100% watching the two of them on their little adventure pre-meeting him (the bird and hound statues) that scene hasn’t happened yet so where did he get that from?

Some other interesting proof for it is that the Final Victor lightcone likely depicts Aventurine trying to convince Ratio of this plan of his, the events of which must occur pre-Penacony for several reasons, the least of which being that we just never see it happen on Penacony which if you think it did we would see it. Moreover lightcones are canonically condensed memories and the Final Victor lightcone released in 2.0, meaning it’s the memory of something that happened before then.

All signs point to the 2.0 scene, the one people use to paint Aventio as toxic being staged. And I have so much more evidence for this, (Ratio would never agree to go without a plan, Aven clearly formed his pre-Penaocny, so much of the plan like Ratio opening the cornerstone box, which he can’t do up until the betrayal as it’s in Sundays possession, rely on him arriving knowing how to do so, the time discrepancies, the complete 180 in personality Ratio would have to do to go from distrusting Aventurine to putting his whole faith in him, etc), but I will reupload one of my old slideshows to elaborate more on it. Basically the one thing that people use to say it’s toxic is not true and is in fact a greater show of the trust between those two.

“The shippers are all weird and racist”

Now this one actually has some truth to it because yes there are some incredibly fucking weird Aventio shippers and I do not blame yall for disliking them.

HOWEVER, most Aventio shippers are normal and hate that shit just as much as you guys do. Like do you realize most shippers also really like these characters and have something insane called morals so they don’t automatically excuse racist fujoshi goobers just because they are making content for their favorite ship. Trust me someone doing that pisses me (and most other Aventio shippers) off significantly more than people who hate the ship. Also free Ratio from this shit man poor guy is getting mischaracterized as a slaveowner by his fans and haters 😭

And like guys, have you ever been in a fandom before, like ever? Weirdos are always gonna be weird and it’s not Aventio’s fault they are this months victims. For a fun little example of how gross other fanbases can be, one of the most popular Overwatch ships on ao3 is Genji Shimada X Hanzo Shimada WHO ARE BLOOD RELATED BROTHERS. THERES LIKE 300+ FICS OF IT, SHIMADACEST IS LITERALLY A TAG ON THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES SEARCHING FOR GENJI HANZO ANGST FICS (Hanzo killed Genji it’s complicated doomed siblings will always get me) AND HAVING TO COMB THROUGH THOSE ABOMINATIONS IN THE PROCESS.

Like please I��m relatively new to fandom culture but yall cannot be acting like this is weird for fans to do, it’s weirdo behavior but it is not unique to the HSR fandom or even Aventio. And even if understandably this makes you not like the ship, don’t paint the people who enjoy it as being the people who do this kinda sh1t. It’s not our fault peak gets tainted by miserable creatures ok, let normal ppl have their harmless fun and stop lumping people together into a monolith.

?????

Well that’s it that’s all the “valid” reasons people have for hating Aventio, at least the ones I can remember. Everything else is just personal opinion and not at all an objective reason.

“They’re so sibling coded!”

Anyways again obviously you can still dislike it not everything is for everyone, I really just wanted to make this post to demonstrate why I and many others like it, and why the reasons people use to say it’s problematic are incorrect. Feel free to call it mid, block it whatever I don’t care, just don’t harass shippers for having some harmless fun, because the characters aren’t real but the people who like them are and in doing so you are really just being a jerk for no reason. If you somehow hate Aventio and read this the whole way through I congratulate you on your ability to actually listen to other people, and regardless of whether you changed your mind or not I respect you for doing so anyways. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts.

#Hsr #honkai star rail #dr ratio #aventurine #aventio #raturine #ratiorine #golden ratio #tags for reach bc I need ppl to read this sorry #Also apologies to the Genji/Hanzo shippers for catching strays yall tend to mind your business and tag ur shit #So I can’t blame you that much for it even if I find it gross bc if I don’t wanna see it it’s very easy to not see it #I just wanted to give an example of how the hsr fandom is not unique in its weirdness #Ppl are horrible at tagging shit in this fandom #The next time I read an Aventio fic w surprise dubcon I’m gonna die #Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading bc this was sm fun to write #Aventio is peak we all cheered #aventurine hsr #dr ratio hsr

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