#anime is just so much easier for me to draw so it's a nice break and takes less time lol
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Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not reach a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
As long as you don't go
The hope in his eyes was something she didn't dare take away. She knew everything he was doing was in hopes of getting back to Alice. He didn't need to know that the FBC had discovered she was no longer in the land of the living.
She wished she could be the cause for that glimmer of hope she saw in his features. She wished his touches were meant for more than just comfort. She wished he'd look at her the way he looked when he thought about Alice.
All of those yearnings, however, paled in comparison to the thought of seeing every bit of his heart shatter once he knew the truth.
She hoped she'd never have to tell him.
#my art#fadenwake#alan wake#jesse faden#remedyverse#control remedy#jesse x alan#decided to take a break from the semi-realism-ish style to go back to my roots lol#let me know if I should do more with this style#anime is just so much easier for me to draw so it's a nice break and takes less time lol#anyway have some angst
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Same as it ever was 6
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner
Note: have a happy friday.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
Sunday gives you an excuse to get away. Pete, like a dog with his tail between his legs, doesn't even try to come up with an excuse to 'work'. You take Simone with you to the grocery store, warning the slug that he can handle Malik for a couple hours alone. You notice the pout in his lips but don't acknowledge it.
You don't need much but you take your time. You agree to buy Simone an Archie comic, shrugging off the extra few dollars as you notice her growing restless. You made her leave her book at home. You're happy she loves to read but she can't ignore the world all the time.
"You wanna get lunch?" You ask as you push the cart through the lot.
"Mm, I dunno," she drags her feet, "I'm tired."
"Probably 'cause you need to eat," you judge her with your elbow, "come on, how often is it just the two of us."
She grumbles but you ignore her reluctance. You're in no hurry to get home and you can scrounge enough for a sit down in the diner. It might be the last nice thing you can afford.
You load up the bags on the trunk and drive down the block to the same place you would take Simon when you were still pregnant with Malik. Those days were nice and so far behind you. The memory makes your heart ache.
You open the door ahead of Simone and follow her into the mom and pop shop. You're seated by the window in a booth. You order coffee as your daughter gets an apple juice. You peruse the menu but you're not very hungry.
"Oh, they still have the grilled cheese," you say.
"Yeah…" she continues to read the menu, nonplussed by your suggestion.
You tap your toe and cup your chin as you look out the window. It's a nice day even if you're gloomy inside. You turn back to the table and flip over the menu.
The waitress returns with your drinks. You sip your coffee before you order a mac and cheese and Simone gets chicken fingers. You hand the menus over and smile at your daughter. She's old enough, she'll catch on soon.
"So, what's your latest adventure about?" You ask.
"Uh, well, I just read one about a knight. She's a girl and she goes off to fight an army of trolls…"
You immerse yourself in her retelling of the children's novel. You don't care, it's better than reality. You giggle and smile as she becomes more animated. She can be so monotone but her passion makes you proud.
A figure approaches, breaking your trance, and you look over expecting the waitress. To your chagrin, it's not.
You grip the edge of the table as Simone's voice peters out and she looks at the man with her cool deadpan. You clear your throat, fighting the urge to reach across and shield her. Mr. Hansen smirks down at you as he glances between you and your daughter.
"Funny running into you here," he snickers, "enjoying your weekend."
"Just having lunch," you say crisply, "hope you're having a good Sunday."
You turn straight on the bench and look at Simone as you gesture for her to face you. She frowns as you try to come up with an escape plan. You don't even know what to say and he's not going anywhere.
"Oh I'm having a wonderful weekend. Look at you, how cute, this must be the spawn."
"Spawn?" Simone murmurs, "hey, what's your deal, guy?"
"Sim," you wave her off, "that's good to hear Mr. Hansen. I hate to keep you so–"
"Room for one more?" He winks.
"Ew, no," Simone speaks before you can, "mom, tell him to go away."
"She's mouthy. Not hard to guess why," he scoffs.
You slide off the seat and stand, stepping between him and the table. You arch a brow, pleading with your hands out.
"Please, sir, we're just enjoying a meal out. I'll see you tomorrow. At work."
He watches you, his amusement playing on his face. He's enjoying seeing you squirm, just like before. He always knows the most sensitive spot to hit. Your kids would be top of the list.
"Tomorrow," he winks as he leans back on his heel, "we got a special meeting, don't we?"
"Sir," you hiss.
He chuckles and rolls his eyes, "alright, ladies, enjoy your lunch."
He backs up and struts away. You don't sit until he's out the door. What on earth is he even doing in a place like this? It's not exactly a Michelin star experience.
You settle back in and swallow, turning to watch out the window. He isn't in his usual suit but still dressed nicely. A peach polo peeking out under a teal bomber jacket and canary pants. Tacky if you say so yourself.
"Who was that weirdo?" Simone asks.
"My boss," you lean back, "just saying hi."
"He's strange. Like the villain in the book I was reading," she scowls out the window, "you need a new job."
You laugh despite yourself, "you have no idea. First things first, I'm starving."
🗄️
You get home, exhausted. You put away the groceries and tidy up. Of course Pete couldn't clean up after making a mess of the kitchen for a simple PB and J. You sigh as you finish and look in on the kids in the living room.
Malik colours as Simone creases her brow at her book. You hear Pete outside working on his Corvette. For a brand new car, it sure needs a lot of maintenance.
You tell the kids you'll be upstairs if they need anything. You go to the bedroom and open the closet. You're so anxious about tomorrow, you may as well get ready to face the music.
You pick out an outfit. Nothing special. You don't have anything fashionable. It's not like you need more than a striped blouse and worn black pants. You just don't want to come back up there to grab it all in the morning.
As you come downstairs, you hear Malik giggling. You peek in through the doorway with your armful of clothing. Pete sits on the floor at the coffee table beside the boy and scribbles with a crayon. He meets your eye as you pass and gives a sheepish smile. You shake your head and keep going.
You open the door to the basement and the cool air sweeps around your descent. You put the outfit on the folding table beside the camping cot. Your first few nights have been less than comfortable. As cozy as your own marriage.
You check the dryer and take out the towels, folding them on the top and stacking them there. You hear footsteps on the stairs. You keep your back to the airy space.
"Hey," Pete says. You're not surprised. He keeps trying to corner you. "So…"
"Busy," you grab a basket and set the towels in it.
"Hm," he stops only a few feet from you, "Simone said you ran into someone. Your boss."
"Yup. Nice guy," you utter dryly.
"I thought Mandy was your boss."
You roll your eyes as you lift the basket and turn, "one of many. She's up in York now."
"Ah…" he hangs his head, gripping one hip, "a lot's changed."
"I'm not in the mood to talk so let's not do this."
He huffs and steps into your path. He puts a hand on the basket. He looks you in the face.
"I will be home every day at six–"
"Too late."
"Please, can't I just try? Can't you?"
"Me? I tried, Pete," you snap, "come home at six anyway. The kids will be happy."
"What about you?"
You stare at him grimly. Your eyes tingle and you look away. Your chest rises and falls.
"I haven't been happy in a long time. Don't think I will be again," you shrug and pull the basket away, striding past him, "I didn't make you happy either, did I?"
He huffs and trails after you as you cross to the stairs. As you go to make your ascent and he grabs your arm and spins you back to him. Before you can react, he snatches the basket from your grip and places it on the stack of rubbermaid bins by the wall.
He puts his hands on your arms and pulls you against him. He leans in and you turn your head, his lips crashing into your cheek. You shove on his chest and growl.
"What are you doing?" You pinch by his ribs.
"Baby, please, let me make it up to you–"
"Don't touch me," you push on him, "get off."
"I love you. I mean it–"
"Stop!" You hit his chest again but he doesn't budge, instead wrapping his arms around you, squeezing the breath out of you. How is he still so strong when you only ever got weaker? "Pete…"
"You can't walk away–"
"You already did," you keep your voice down, mindful of the open door above.
"Let me try. I wanna make love to you–"
"Pfft, yeah right. Go get tested and I might even consider letting you hold my hand," you snarl, "get off of me now."
"Wha– I'm clean–"
"Get!" You bring your knee up and feel it collide with his crotch. He releases you and staggers back, cupping his most precious possession. "You're a dirty fucking weasel."
You turn and pick up the basket and stomp up the stairs as you hear him whimpering. Serves him right. You can't help but smile at the ounce of power you feel in that moment.
🗄️
Monday morning both too quickly but not fast enough. You get up with the kids and get them ready for school, filling a thermos of coffee for yourself. You drive them to school and send them off with dread in your chest.
For a moment, you idle outside the school. You miss the days when you only worried about spelling quizzes and dodgeball. You hope at least your kids never end up where you are.
You follow the crawl of traffic out of the school zone and reluctantly steer towards work. You yawn and drain half your thermos before you get to the office. As you shoulder your bag and look up at the corporate facade, you feel the world threaten to crumble around you. No, not the whole world, just yours.
You enter behind a few others and try to find your courage in the elevator. You peek over at your coworkers; you recognise two but the other you don't know. There's not much workplace camaraderie, more of an understanding to get your work down and clock out.
You follow them out and go to your desk. You sit and pop the lid off of your thermos. Just enough to get you through this. You don't unpack your lunch, certain you won't be eating it there.
You turn on your PC and sign in. You're in no hurry to get started on work. Your calendar pops up with the internal schedule reminder. There it is, a meeting in ten minutes. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You get up and go to the bathroom. You can do this. You dealt with your scoundrel husband, you are still moving, you're not dead in the water.
But how do you survive this? Do you beg? You quit and take the loss? No you can't. You need this job and if you get fired, at least you'll have a hope at severance.
You avoid your reflection. That old woman isn't you. You go out and check your watch, pausing as the shine of your rings gleam in the fluorescent light. You slide them off and put them in your back pocket.
You check the schedule one last time and go to tbe meeting room. There's no one there as you find the door shut. It's clearly empty on the other side of the windowed walls. You lean against the plaster and tap your sole.
"Ah, there she is. How's it goin', toots? You need some chamomile? The chairs sure are comfy, aren't they?" Mr. Hansen struts down with his hands in his pockets.
"Sir," you greet flatly. He's mocking you. Jokes on him, you're always tired.
"Come on," he twists the handle and swings the door open so that it bounces on the hinges, "get moving."
You don't react to his crass tone. You merely step into the room as the light flicks on as the censor picks up your movement. You walk along one side of the table as Hansen shuts the door.
You hover behind a chair as he goes along the wall and tugs each cord to repel the blinds down, blocking out the hallway. Uneasiness bubbles in your stomach as you watch him. You expected him to make your humiliation public.
"Have a seat, honey buns," he faces you, approaching the other side of the table.
You sit and fold your hands on the table top. He has no paperwork, not even a computer. You wonder what exactly is going on.
"Is someone from HR–"
"Look, let's keep the sticklers outta this," he waves you off, kick one foot out as he shifts his weight to one hip, "unless you really want a disciplinary slip. Me, personally, I can't be fucked with that paperwork."
You frown and flatten your hands on the table, trying to keep your anxiety from showing. He looks at the gesture and tilts his head. His cheek dimples and he snorts.
He doesn't comment. Not at first. He paces up and down the table and bites his thumb.
"Alright, let's get to business," he stops at the end, close to the corner, "what are you willing to do to keep this job?"
"Sir?"
"Pretty daughter you got. Probably eats up that paycheck in no time. All those cute shirts and ugh, the growth spurts��"
"Mr. Hansen," you swallow, "please, I don't think my family has anything to do with this."
"They have everything to do with this," he insists, "let's not pretend."
"I'm not– I'm sorry I fell asleep. It won't happen again."
"I gave you an out. All you had to do was put your hands down my pants and you could've napped in the boardroom. No problem. I do it all the time," he snickers, "but no, you're a stubborn little bitch. Makes me wonder what the old man sees in ya. Really, cause a tight ass ain't fun unless you get inside–"
"Mr. Hansen," you exclaim, revolted by his lewd words.
"Whatever he's doing, he's not doing it right. You need to loosen up, toots," he runs his thumb across his mustache, "and that little girl won't be so proud of mommy if she ends up working at Burger King like some stoner teenager–"
You sputter, heat creeping up the nape of your neck and speckling down your body. You shake your head. Did he know or is it a lucky guess? Either way, you don't have the energy for this. You're done being a joke for men.
"Just spit it out. What do I have to do?" You sneer as your hands ball.
His lips slant and he smothers a noise in his throat. He slowly walks closet until he's right beside you. You turn the chair to face him as he leans down and puts his hand on yours. He unfolds your fingers and feels along the indents left by your rings.
"Looks like trouble in paradise," he winks, "well, I'm the good kinda trouble. Trust me."
You stare at him. You're not as naive as you once were. There's no denial here. This is real life, a bitter pill you need to swallow.
"That's it? A hand job and I keep my job?" You squint.
He laughs and cups your chin, "oh, you think that's it?"
You can't help but let your surprise bleed through. Your not some young hot thing. Is he just trying to rub salt in the wound or is he serious?
"I…"
"Hand, mouth, cunt, ass, tits," he pulls away as he lists of each word, "you look in tact for the most part. But most importantly…" he shoots you with a finger gun, "you're desperate. What more could I ask for?"
#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#pete brenner#dark pete brenner#dark!pete brenner#lloyd hansen x reader#pete brenner x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#au#same as it ever was#the gray man#pain hustlers
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xxtc-96xx Callout post
To start I want you to know I didn't want things to have to come to this but after recent developments and discussions from others I cannot ignore what's been going on for years now. This is a problem revolving around the user @xxtc-96xx , the comic Endertale, and the Undertale fandom. I will try to explain what I know and offer proof when I can, but there might be some sloppiness as this is my first real post on Tumblr. If there is any technical issues about this post, please let me know so I can fix it.
Let me start from the beginning. I have been a long time fan of xxtc-96xx since about 2016 (I will refer to them as TC to make it easier). I have enjoyed looking at the art they create for many years, mainly the ones revolving around Endertale.
Endertale is a fan comic that TC made of the game Undertale. It's a very decent story with a pleasant art style. I would recommend it but I cannot and I will get to why. You see TC has suffered from something that just about any creator can relate to, burnout. The most recent comic page being posted in 2021 though there was already a hiatus established before that.
While they made it long clear that they needed to go on break for personal reasons, people wanted to ask for when they will continue it. Some of them calm and reasonable and other's were very much not nice. TC answered them honestly at first.
Then it started to devolve into troll responses or just not answering.
Not just on Tumblr but people kept asking on Deviantart as well. In fact people are still asking today in 2024. It has gotten so frequent that TC felt it necessary to change their profile header to this:
And it has stayed that way for so long I lost track of when it started. To be fair, even I found the frequent questions to be overwhelming and they just like every artist who makes stuff for free is entitled to take a break from their work. However this post isn't a complaint about how long it takes to finish a comic, it's about something that started because of the wait.
See, their original reason to take a break was because they were too busy with personal matters for them to commit to an actual comic. But as their history up to today has shown that's no longer a valid excuse. As time went on they started to show an interest in the Pokemon fandom. specifically the pokemon known as Mewtwo. To make a long story short, what started as small doodles grew into a whole bunch of fancomics and animations. To compare, they have drawn nearly four times as many Pokemon drawings compared to Undertale. Now, it is perfectly fair and acceptable to find an interest in a different fandom. And while I personally prefer Undertale over Pokemon I completely supported their decision to focus on other fandoms and enjoyed what they made. I also understood their issues with the fandom at the time, some people were rather aggressive, rude, or demanding the comic to be completed, a comic that's completely free that they make no profit out of. I even recall one point they tried to unsuccessfully drag a different content creator into this issue as if it would somehow work.
However I started to notice they had a warped perception on the fandom. Rather than blame the few people that harassed them online with constant asks, they believed that the entire fandom as a whole is to blame as declared it all toxic. Something they insist on repeating to all their fans and making them believe their opinion as fact.
Now for the record I am very aware of how toxic this fandom was and can be at times. I was around since the beginning and have seen just about every drama that has come. From the fans harassing you for not doing the pacifist route in the first time playing, people arguing if either Frisk or Chara is a really bad person, arguing over Frisk's and Chara's gender, is genocide the right choice, is Toriel the bad guy or Asgore, and a controversy revolving around a certain creator of the au Glitchtale (the last one TC coincidentally emulates their "Delay work for one week for every ask" and finds it amusing). I know this fandom is not the best but I love it all the same, it's as much a part of my life as it is for TC. I know I am not perfect at showing my interest for Undertale, as this image of a private ask shows.
Or this time I made a obviously joke ask and apparently I didn't realize a lot of people don't understand sarcasm.
Or when I tried to ask this sincere and nonaggressive question, one of the few times TC isn't putting up some kind of attitude.
Or this other ask from me.
At the end of the day this is just a comic. No one has any right to demand them to continue it or make death threats, this is completely unacceptable. However, at the same time this doesn't mean the creator should dehumanize the entire fandom or punish the few that are being respectful. They wait and what do they get, people mocking them and bullying them. That's what I realized in the past week when I engaged in the comments of a few posts. TC allow their fans to bully the fandom.
I tried to be as calm and reasonable as I can and yet I get called out as a toxic fan. And in the end did TC scold everyone else, no, they basically told me to shut up. I overestimated the fans intelligence and if they could handle basic logic, read the comments for yourself to see my point. As someone with Asperger and anger issues, it's a god given miracle I am still trying to maintain my composure within this insanity that has been going on for years. I have spoken with several content creators who asked to remain anonymous about this entire fiasco and we have similar conclusions about TC.
TC has been through a lot of painful and hurtful comments over the years that they did not deserve in the slightest. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their comic and works. Saying a fandom is or isn't toxic is unhelpful as you fundamentally miss the mark on how fandom culture works. As a creator, it is not right to hang this hiatus over people's heads and string them along. TC does not respect their Undertale fans in the slightest and mocks those who is still waiting. They indirectly encourage their other fans to bully and dehumanize the rest.
I held back on making a comment about all this for two reasons. One, TC's fandom terrifies me. They are complete smug hypocrites who spend way too much time on the internet that they don't realize that if they use their words in real life they will get punched in the face for it. Two, despite everything I still believe that TC can change. I like to believe the best in everyone and that there is hope that maybe this time TC will realize they have become the very thing they hate. That hope has faded to cinders. I'm done with TC, my only concern is the people remaining to wait for the comic.
To everyone who is waiting for Endertale and/or following TC because you like their Undertale stuff, leave them and never come back. They do not respect you, they look down on you, they laugh watching you wait, you deserve better than them. Even if they do finish the comic eventually it will not be made out of love or passion.
DO NOT harass and bully them because of my words. I will not tolerate any attempt to do so.
My final words are for TC if they even decide to read this:
TC, I know we are not friends, you made that clear long ago but I was hoping we could've been. You were a huge inspiration for me in the past and was what pushed me to attempt learning about art. I looked up to you and tried to support you when you were feeling down. You are no longer that person.
You do not have the right to condemn an entire fandom as toxic and declare it as a fact of life. It's people like you that keep the fandoms so divided to this day. It's because of people like you I am scared for my life if I ever mention Undertale in public. Your fixation on the sins of the past prevents us from moving forward. I do not excuse what happened but the past is in the past, get over it and grow up, you are an adult so act like it.
You say you don't owe us any comic or works, well at the same time if you want to mistreat the fandom I care about then I or anybody don't owe you any respect yet I did for nearly five years.
Why? Because I cared about how this all made you feel. What do you see when you look at me, another obsessed toxic fan who should keep their mouth shut or a PERSON with their own thoughts feelings and beliefs?
One of your problems is that you think nothing ever seems to be your fault, just the fans who keep asking. Well maybe they wouldn't have asked if you didn't leave them hanging for almost five years. To me, it no longer matters if you finish Endertale or not.
Maybe you still think it isn't your fault, then that makes me the idiot for hoping you can be better. You hurt me, really hurt me. I don't think I can ever trust someone like you again.
Do you know what I really want?
Your apology. I want you to make a genuine apology to me and the fandom at your actions over the years. I won't block you because being the idiot I am I hope my words mean something to you and you'll want to chat.
But until you wise up ask yourself this familiar question,
Do you really think you are above consequences?
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May I request Transformers animated swindle with a human?
Oh sure! Swindle wasn't that hard of a character to grasp for me, you don't even have to know everything about the show to understand him. I hope you enjoy this ^^ Anon wanted it a romantic concept.
Here's a video of all his moments in TF:A
Yandere! TF:A! Swindle with Human! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Murder, Obsession, Slight sadism, Forced affection, Threats, Jealousy implied, Violence, Possessive behavior, Forced relationship, Transformer/Human.
Swindle is a Decepticon arms dealer in the series.
However, he's always going to go with the highest bidder.
He works with humans, Autobots, Decepticons, really anyone who can make a good deal.
He also doesn't mind betraying others for his own greed.
He'd lie to humans to get them to hand something over for his own benefit.
He's also... really armed.
Swindle knows just want to give others and loves to make deals.
The nice thing about Swindle is he's one of the smaller Decepticons.
Which makes affection towards you easier.
Don't get me wrong, Swindle still towers over you, but not compared to someone like Megatron.
Swindle would be rather deceptive towards a darling to coerce you into listening to him.
He seems to be the type to draw you in with his charisma.
Swindle sees his darling as a partner.
In both business and other ways.
Swindle would be rather threatening and manipulative towards you.
He'd also try to make a deal with you the first time you meet.
Your 'relationship' is like a deal to him even.
In exchange for your attention... Swindle will defend you with all the weaponry he's got.
You don't have much of a choice unless you want a cannon in your face.
Swindle also has a vehicle mode you can get in.
What does that mean?
Swindle can trap you within him.
He can take you anywhere he wants with you as an unwilling captive.
He finds your fear kinda cute.
Oh... humans are so reliant on others, aren't they?
You need him like it or not...
Trust him... you want him on your side.
Swindle would take you with him on deals, portraying you as his human pet companion who helps with the merchandise.
Despite being sleazy and deceptive, he does love his darling a ton.
You're the one thing he can't sell.
He picked you out in a deal with another set of humans.
Unfortunate, really, those human friends of yours were really reluctant to let you go.
They have no choice against a Decepticon.
He blew them to bits without a care.
Swindle does love to carry you around, even more so in vehicle mode.
Mostly because in vehicle mode he can lock the doors and prevent your escape.
While you bang on his interior, threatening him to let you out, he talks to you gently while on the road.
He tells you that you'll be great partners.
A human such as you will enjoy adventures in space, away from all the other humans and stuck with him.
He promises he'll take you on some more drives to talk and express your feelings for each other...
But could you stop trying to break out of him?
Swindle does like giving you fresh air, all humans need that.
Just expect him to hold you.
It feels funny when you crawl all over him, almost makes him laugh.
Transformer/Human affection can be difficult at times.
Swindle is aware he can't entirely kiss you like he wants at times.
He'd squish you.
So he asks you to do it for him.
Your own little deal.
If you refuse him then he'll just threaten you.
When you do, it's a small feeling but Swindle enjoys it.
He tries hard not to move when you kiss his face, his purple eyes staring at you intently.
Hugs are also an issue, he has to be extremely careful with you and force you to initiate the affection.
Swindle is very protective of you.
He is also very capable of defending you with the amount of weapons he has.
Swindle also could put you in that organized storage space he has if he feels he needs to....
Try and use another car? He'll chase you down in vehicle form.
As with most Transformer yanderes, you can't run away easily.
You'll run out of gas, he won't.
Don't even waste your time on foot.
Swindle isn't going to let you leave.
No amount of bartering would have him let you go.
He's killed for you.
Defended you.
He'll care for you so don't you dare leave.
Will you make your friends die in vain?
How sad and selfish.
Swindle would emotionally manipulate you to lure you in.
Then he captures you again and the obsession continues stronger.
Swindle feels you and him made a deal.
He can't have you running off with other humans or bots, can he?
A deal requires trust.
He wants you to trust him.
He'll have you keep your end of the deal to make this relationship work...
Even if some persuasive force is required.
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I AM ASSEMBLING A TEAM FOR A LOW-BUDGET ANIMATED MOVIE
I know am asking a LOT right now, but considering this is a passion project without a deadline or budget, I guess it's why I'm asking here (and well, I'm no professional lmao).
In 2019, I wrote a short quebecois (french canadian) cyberpunk, action, sci-fi story novel. It was my most beloved project, and it still holds a big spot in my heart (even tho some newer stories of mine are higher quality). Ever since I made it, all I've done is draw scenes, characters, anything from it. I have a folder of about 200 pictures, animatics and concept art added to it over the years. One thing doesn't work for me to do the project though: I can't voice act, I can't make music, and I can't animate (well, not anything above basic storyboards, and I wanna do something in 3D lmao).
I have... well, not a lot of money (no seriously, I am VERY broke). So well while I can try my best to pay anyone who is willing to help, I can't guarantee it'll be a lot (which I know it can be frustrating, as an artist, to not be monetarily compensated for your hard work, so that's why I'm saying it now).
Due to all of this, I'm only asking for people who are GENUINELY interested. I can't provide much in terms of budget so I don't wanna give anyone false hopes. But I promise that I will work very hard to fill in any position that I can, like script writing, character and environmental concept art, direction, I can even try to voice-act if there's not enough actors! As for the work itself, I allow as many breaks as needed. You're allowed to work on any personal project if you ever feel tired or overwhelmed. I too will take many breaks. I don't mind how long it takes, months, one year, a few years even, as long as I know it'll eventually be done and that the people working are genuinely interested.
Now if you've stuck this far and are still interested, I'll share the requirements:
MOST IMPORTANT PART: I am searching for 3D modelers and animators (if you can do both that's cool but it would be nice to separate tasks so it's less tiring for each person working). My characters are very diverse-looking and expressive, so above all, I'd prefer someone who can animate faces well because that's really what I want to pop out (but if you can't, that's okay too, I'm not THAT picky) (tho despite being cartooney, I'm more in the simplistic, Clone Wars - Arcane department than I am in the realistic Disney - Pixar one)
I need voice actors who speak french. No English-only speakers, sorry. Most should be natively québécois (or french who can imitate the accent fluently) but there's a few characters who are anglophones or have a french accent, so that could help too if you're not from Québec but wanna make a voice. The story is rather dramatic and action-packed, with a lot of violence, fight scenes, screams of pain and agony, all that, so be ready for that
And of course, I'd like to have some people who can do the soundtrack (one person or more working together). The story is sci-fi/cyberpunk taking place in Québec, so I'd expect someone who can go more techno, european (and cinematic too)
YOU DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND FRENCH TO WORK. I'm fully bilingual so I won't have trouble communicating with you. The only language requirements would be in voice-acting, or if you're working in team and need to communicate with someone else, but otherwise there really is no need because, well, google translate is a thing, and I can always be a translator for you as well if needed.
BONUS: If there's someone available (you don't HAVE to for that part, it's just to make things easier, but they're not requirements because those are all things I can do myself), I could always get some bonus script writers to help the process go a bit faster, and translators in case someone wants to put subtitles in different languages
Here is the folder of (most) of the art on Artstation: https://www.artstation.com/rosaliegosselin/albums/2467754
And here is a very short animation I did for it a while back (if you don't want spoilers tho, don't watch it, it's one of the last scenes of the story lmao): https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/782216
And here's the story itself (it's just in french tho, sorry about that, but you can just use Google translate): https://www.wattpad.com/story/214223068-magicae-automata
I hope you feel inspired! If you know anyone who might be interested, do feel free to share this with them! I look forward to working with you! Shoot me a DM if you're interested, and if I get enough people, I'll start a discord for all of us to talk!
#movie#animation#3dart#3d render#3dartist#voice acting#advertising#jobsearch#filmmaking#cyberpunk#french#quebec#queer representation#gay pride#3d model#modelling#animated movies#movie production#free work
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Obanai Iguro x Male y/n
You were a demon, one that didn't show fear, and had no regrets. You hated company, and you hated people that got close to people you trusted, or people that broke the rules. You might have been a demon, but you trained yourself to object human blood, and instead you take animals, which does the same affect, and surprisingly there was rare blooded animals as well, and you've consumed 2, which leads to 2 hundred. You also kill and eat demons to make the demon slayers job a little easier. You glanced the sun from a tinted window in a restraint. You were well known around here and a lot of people new you were a demon. People trusted you ,a nd you did the same. Though there were some nay-sayers, you didn't let that stop you. You were the guardian of this village and never will you let any being hurt your friends. The waiter came up to you and smiled, "Hello Y/n nice to see you again, what may I get you?", she giggled. You smiled back, and faced her and away from the window, "I'll like a normal White chocolate coffee", you asked. She tilted her head, "Why do you drink coffee? I thought it doesn't fill you?", you assumed. You sigh, "It doesn't, I just like the taste", you pat her hand that was leaning on the table. She blushes, "I under-stand, sir", she stuttered while walking away as fast as possible. You were a sign of beauty, and a lot of people had little crushed on you, but you didn't really care about them, since there was only one man for you. You were only interest in men, and she knew that, yet she couldn't help but hope. You pulled out a photo of a childhood friend, that lived in a family of all females. He said that he didn't like it their and that he ran away but soon catch by what seemed like his mother. Though you didn't know him all that well, you spent around 4 mouths together before he was taken back.
3 hours Later
News of another demon in your village catch your attention. You moved to the news paper and growled, and if you knew what this growl was like to other humans, you'll be scared of yourself. You walk to the edge of the village and see something move. I draw my long sharp unbreakable nails reaching the ground. I get into my stance, "Who's out there, I swear if your the demon that's killed two of my beloved villager, I will end you with much torcher. Though any demons could regenerate, your nails had the same effect as a demon slayers sword, so you were able to kill them with ease. You moved forward, and...
SLASH. Your ear was chopped of in an instant. You jump back dogdeing the next attack that was going to follow. You sharpen your nails, "Listen here, I will not let you pass this point you deserving demo-", you got knocked back into another tree. Their was a man with a black a white Kimono, in a stripe pattern. You tilted your head, "Oh? Are you apart of the demon slayer corps? I haven't met a slayer yet. Nice to mee-", he slashed you again, but missed. He had hatred in his eyes and it looked like he wanted to kill you. You understood and took a deep breath, "Please stop, there is a rule standing that the demons of my kind should not be harmed in this village/ hey, stop trying to attack me and listen you rule breaking punk", you move forward with amerce speed deactivating your demon ability and just cut his arm, "You sir need to take a chill pilll and read the instruction, we are both trying to defeat the demon that's killing my people, so let's work together and -", this guy wasn't giving up on killing you. You sighed and used your second demon technique and chopped the side of his neck but using the speed of light, "I warned you didn't I?", you picked him up bridal style and carried him to the nursing home to help him get back from a cut and a chop to the neck, while you went out and consumed some more old animal from the farm. You were right in the middle of eating some chicken, but you found the demon and decided to eat him instead. (Don't do battle scenes to well)
5 hours later.
You got back to then nursery and saw the man from before, but before you could walk up to him you say the young girl talking to him, "Sorry about our little demon sir. He might seem like a normal demon, but trust me he's as loving as any human, though he is quite stuck up. He's never eaten a human, and instead he feeds off the demons or the old animals from the farm. It's been this way for 4 year now, and I say 99% of people like him, and sometimes more says then one", she says winking. You never really knew you were that important, but it was nice to know people liked you. She continued, "He also is like our own little demon slay-", she sees you in the corner of her eye and flusters up, "S-sorry, I d-didn't know y-you were there. Sorry~", she stuttered from embarrassment. You sighed, "It's fine, I know all this already", you said while looking at the demon slayer, "And by the way, I've already killed the demon that's been killing my people, so when your ready you can leave, but if you want to stay, then that’s your choice. I was going to walk out but something grabbed my hand. I turn back to see a blue and yellow eyed man, “I didn’t really get to see your face before, what’s with the mask?”
"If what your saying is true then I need proof", he said with a stern tone. You sigh walking over to the nurse, and gently lift her arm, "May I?", you asked so politely.
"Of course", he blushed. You lifted her arm and pieced her her skin gently. You took the blood and rubbed it on your nose and mouth. You look back at the snake boy and smirk, "I'm amuse to blood, in fact I find human blood disgusting"
"But... It seems like you need to come with me", he demanded. What the hell is this guy on about?
#obanai x you#kny x male reader#kny x y/n#kny x reader#bxb#kny x you#iguro obanai#obanaiiguro#demon slayer obanai#kny obanai#obanai x y/n#Obanai x male reader#obanai x reader#obanai x male y/n
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hi!!! i was wondering if you could do a tutorial for how you draw transformers? i can never simplify them like you can. do you have any tips?? also love your art sm <33
hi ヾ(•ω•`)o
I WILL TRY MY best to explain what i do… i don’t actually have a very structured system but this is vaguely how i got started and how i simplified the process
1. look up and compile a whole bunch of references
this will be useful for EVERYTHING– transfomos come with lots of shapes and gizmos and details and stuff so a variety of references from different angles and in different poses is really useful because you can see the shapes they’re made out of and also understand how everything connects with each other
trapezoid town! this is a mess but it’s a quick example of how by looking at everything you start to notice trends or details like what moves with what or how flexible some parts are
there are a whole bunch of resources very nice people have compiled on the web like here here here here and here (mainly MTMTE) and there is a discord server (this is a link to a tumblr post about it and not the invite link itself) for it too but you can always look through the source material and just start screenshotting and pasting shit into a folder.
you don’t have to do humongous in-depth breakdowns if you just want to be able to quickly doodle robots (god knows i don’t!!) but having the references on-hand makes it easier for the times when you’re like This pose is going to be challenging and I’m not sure how all of the cuboids will be positioned.
references also help break you out of thinking of it as just drawing blockier humans because the proportions and shapes vary a looooooot
2. draw draw draw
at first i drew a lot using refs heavily to get an idea of the shapes then i got lazy and just started drawing anime girls and smacking rectangles and kibble on top BUT as you draw more and more you start to pick up on the Salient Features as well as their General Silhouette.
drawing from memory means that what makes them look recognisable will become more emphasised in your mind so you’ll naturally pick up on how you can simplify them without losing what makes your guy Look Like Your Guy. so if you want to simplify the robots just be incredibly lazy like me B)
i'm kind of horrible because i don't even do like Basic Shapes i literally just eyeball it
for poses i rectangle it out while thinking really hard
anyway when i first tried to draw transformers but Something Didn’t Look Right it was either a) the level of detail across the entire drawing was inconsistent and threw it off balance or b) proportions weren’t right and these things only got better with me finangling and doodling and learning by iteration.
of course sometimes i don’t give a fuck because no cops in transformers doodle land but yeahhhh i’m the kind of guy who only gets through stuff by throwing a lot of rocks at it. i don’t have a Method to offer you unfortunately but what i did do was
3. experiment and exaggerate and experiment!!
The First Rule of Gun Safety is to Have Fun and Be Yourself! i took a lot of liberties and rarely stayed on-model when i doodled and waffled around (and i still do…) but it helped me figure out how much i was willing to draw lol and consequently how i would stylise them.
i would play with how big or small or exaggerated or expressive they'd be… even my most detailed drawings are nowhere near comic-detail but my least detailed ones were. turquoise triangle that’s vaguely brainstorm-shaped. having fun with it and just doing it to make stupid jokes makes the practice seem like not practice.
so yeah tl;dr i started by reffing what bots actually look like, would trace comic panels to get an idea of the shapes and details and then start drawing side-by-side → drew billions of perceptors from my diseased mind and played around with lines → ??? → upgraded from goofy-looking rectangles to goofy-looking rectangles
that’s it for advice! (i don’t feel qualified to say that much)
below are just examples of stupid doodles i’d make on my ipad in class or in the margins of assignments lol, you can tell the last one is from when i still didn't understand brainstorm's build very well because the wings are placed wrongly... But i grew.
hope this was somewhat helpful! there are other tutorials from other artists that i can direct you to but this is how toyotacorolla2008 got to shitposting on tumblr dot com
#anonymous#ask#thanks for liking my art and thank you for this ask!#If you wanted me to talk about something that i did not touch on imma sowwy.. you can send another ask and i will respond and go deeper#i typed up this post really fast so i hope its coherent#local blogger too Freaken busy with school to draw detail#going to class like Im ready for my hard days work of drawing cuboids stealthily#bonposting
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Hey, been having a pretty rough start to the week, and really, a rough several weeks. Lots going on, lots of dread about the world, honestly just wanna go back to bed. But we're trying to look on the bright side and appreciate the little things. So I'm gonna list some good things that have happened recently and that are coming up so we can psych ourselves up. I find that putting something down on paper or in a place where I can see it makes it easier to embrace and appreciate, makes it more visual.
-Someone left a really sweet comment in the tags of my Gooliope custom. I've noticed a lot of people liking that post, and I love all the kind words in the tags so much. Thank you! She's one of my favorite dolls, and it makes me happy that she sparks joy for more than just me.
-I got to see my middle sister for her spring break. She just left to head back to school, but the time she was here was great. We celebrated my mom's birthday with a lot of great food and laughter, and there were many late night conversations that were fun. It was nice to reconnect.
-I got to play Animal Crossing for the first time and found that I love the fishing in it! It's a really fun game and I want to get back to it soon. I also found the Sanrio Amiibo cards for cheap, and I'm eager to see how they function once I'm a bit farther in.
-I'm slated to go to a convention soon! I can't wait to put my cosplays back on and go to panels. Two really awesome voice actors are going to be there, and I'm gonna try and work up the courage to take photos with other cosplayers. I'm especially excited to see the cosplay performers, I missed that last year but won't be this time!
-Another Splatfest is coming up! I can't wait to play more of Tricolor battles, they're such a good time. Thinking of playing on Team Nessie, but we'll see, depends on what my teammates think. I'm not a competitive player, I just have a group of four that enjoys playing together.
-It's my birthday next week (and also international mermaid day)! I'm not sure how I'm gonna celebrate just yet, but I do want to celebrate. I may ask my mom if we can go out to Goodwill or something during the day, I've wanted to check it out for a long time. I have friends who are streaming that night that I'd like to watch, but I'd also like to make some time for my annual birthday stream that week. Birthdays tend to be a time where you talk to a lot of people who haven't checked in in a while, and while I can get a little overstimulated, I do love having a portion of the night where I get to see a bunch of my friends for some drawing or other art. It's the one time of year where I like being the center of attention, it means getting to decide what I want to do and getting to do it together with the people I love. <3
-My persona doll is closer to done! She has a face, she has hair, she has shoe options that I can paint, she just needs clothes and wings (she's a fairy, and I'm debating how I wanna do them). I have some new clothing patterns that I'm excited to try out for her too. It's so cool to finally have a doll that feels closer to me. I loved drawing a face on G3 Draculaura.
-Dollightful released a new video showing off some of the face sculpts for G3 Monster High dolls, and I'm really excited about that! It got me wanting to customize more of G3, namely Lagoona, I have a great idea for a Shiny Vaporeon doll for her, but we'll have to see if it sticks. It also got me going on collecting resources for customizing G3 dolls, I have a post in my drafts that I wanna share soon that may help other doll customizers out.
-I got to design a character that I absolutely love, and brainstorming about it with my friends has been really fun. It's really pushing me to try more with hair. Been feeling really grateful for my friends in general, both those I talk to daily and the ones I haven't seen in a while. You're all wonderful and I'm so fortunate to have you in my life. <3
-Actually, I'm having a lot of fun all around! I got a great new idea for an AU where Henry is a guardian angel type character to Joey and gets stripped of his powers, so now Susie is watching over him and the studio with a cartoon Alice to show her the ropes, and it's SO FUN! I may have to bring that to my Bendy blog at some point. I'm brimming with ideas and gosh I wish I had more time to do art and audio for it, I'd love to voice some skits with Susie and Alice talking to each other.
-Mario Day passed and I finally got my hands on Bowser's Amiibo (thank you little sister for helping me out). I haven't collected Amiibo in a long time, but the siblings and I used to, and this is one we missed. I look forward to training him in Smash Bros. It'd be fun to pit him against Leg Day (Wii Fit Trainer) and Knave (Sonic).
-Been having a lot of fun at the Streamily Livestreams with the Bendy voice cast, lots of really funny fandom memes have come out of those and it's great. They never fail to make me smile. Been having a lot of fun at the ShazzandBoo Pokemon Livestreams too, what an absolute treat those have been!
Yeah, maybe life isn't so bad. There are a lot of things stressing me out, but there's so much to look forward to and enjoy, and those are the moments I'm gonna live for. Life is too short to let it keep you down, so we're gonna do our best and make it through!
Here's sending all of you the good vibes for a great Tuesday, a great week, and a great rest of March! Love you so much!
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Animaniacs Reboot Season 3 Episode 2 Review
Check comments for the rest of the review since tumblr can’t post the whole thing.
Variable verse: Folding paper craneys! -Wakko
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot
They’re walking funny to me. Mint, strawberry, and chocolate flavor ice cream? I can see that.
Why do they all look like Dot? It would make sense they all like her but it seems like Gigi took her look? Gigi Soda is based off of Jojo Siwa. She’s cute. Her song was ok. Love how scared/disgusted the brothers looked. Lol
They didn’t have to do Dot dirty like that.
It’s sweet how Yakko is defending his sister. Then it gets useless since she smacks his head out of frame. What the hell, Dot? He’s defending you!
Yakko did his “uuuuuhhhhh.” The HBO Max joke was great. Too bad it won’t happen (pretty sure that’s confirmed).
I really don’t like the idea of them breaking and entering to steal an award. Now if they bargain for it or do a competition it’s fine. But this isn’t right.
Again, Wakko wouldn’t necessarily do this. He may have trouble reading the room, but he understood the assignment. Dot wouldn’t beat up her brother, either. And the fact that the bruises stay on for several more scenes makes it worse. What’s with the Warner abuse this episode? It gets worse this season trust me.
-_-
Check out her schedule. She has two days for sleep! Aw, dinner with her grandmother. Is that having lunch and dinner like actually eating or is it a luncheon and dinner with people?
I do like this message. Work and no play makes Gigi a dull girl. Not necessarily dull, but taking a break is healthy and is needed to de-stress.
“What’s the point in a lifetime achievement award if you have no life?” - Wakko
Best quote.
Lots of negative things in the first half. Like Gigi getting disgusted with the bugs and Wakko and Dot not liking their games. The scene with Wakko eating dirt has the table and chairs from the theme song as the background. I like the detail of Yakko facepalming when he sees Gigi drawing data charts. Nice detail with Gigi being left-handed because Jojo is. I love how Yakko says “lunch.” It gets better when she opens up. Probably shows her progression and immersion in the song. Did…did Ralph just die? Damn Dot…ouch. Was Wakko gonna say Hooters? It’s an actual place but did they stop because it sounds inappropriate or for copyright?
The song would’ve been so much better if it was completed. I’m so disappointed. It was funny when Nora interrupted (if it was anything else I was gonna say the song was trash) but I would’ve liked for her to do it afterwards.
That is very scary. Deciding on what age she is. I get the joke on kids staying the same age in shows; but in real life…
Good on Gigi for standing up for herself.
Good on Dot for apologizing but I agree with Gigi. She shouldn’t have done that in the first place. Also, the internet made her insane. Sub, like, and follow. It just abruptly ends.
Half of the plot where Dot steals the award was bad. As I’ve said before, she should’ve bargained for it. This isn’t a good message for kids. Now it seems like Gigi didn’t learn anything from them. And that stinks since the second half of the plot was good! Don’t worry about being an influencer or a job especially when you’re a kid. Just enjoy life and have fun. If the Warners went about it differently and the ending was more heart to heart it would’ve been such a good episode.
Starbox and Cindy
I actually really liked this one. I can’t remember season 1 but I think I like this one the best. They’re adding more characters so it’s not stagnant. Good! The ending was funny when Cindy just grabs him. Also, “she died.” Lol Woah Starbox went through a crisis until she brought her back to life.
What I do like is that you’re supposed to focus on the slapstick. Reminds me of the classic Warner Bros. Very good. The animation was nice! I do like these shorts. There’s no attachment like how E,P&TB was so it’s easier to enjoy it. Cute, funny, very good.
Pinky and The Brain
I like the idea. Based off Harry and Megan I think. The song was nice. Like the UK English and American English differences throughout the short. The fries and crisps joke was funny.
Brain keeps selling himself out. Was this from the OG? I know Pinky did it. Brain could’ve asked to be king instead of selling himself out. Or they could’ve had Charles come in and take it. That would’ve been funny. The Royal flush at the end was great.
Warners - 6
S&C - 8
P&TB - 8
Avg - 7.3
I think my disappointment was radiating when I made the rankings. I consider 8 a solid. I didn’t like the resolution in Pinky and The Brain, but the stuff throughout the episode made it great.
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Aye i don't know if this is something you really have an answer for but i thought I'd shoot my shot. Any advice for someone who's just starting to draw? I know the general advice is to Draw More but the horrible beginner quality and lack of direction is really kicking my motivation in the shins. Idk, thought I'd ask.
On a related note your art is the thing REALLY giving me motivation to start trying to draw more. That's how i wanna be. The way you draw expressions is so good
Ahhhh thank you so much, that’s so lovely to hear!! Drawing is as rewarding as it is challenging, so it’s exciting that you’re getting into it!! Drawing a lot is a huge part of it, like when working out/getting fit, it just takes steady time and effort to build muscle. But it absolutely does help to have a direction on what to be drawing/practicing!!
Knowing the rules to art does actually help when you want to break them- studying life drawing and realism, though not my area of interest, has actually been hugely useful in applying to my stylized work. You can do this by sketching references online (pinterest is a good resource for this- people have ready-made folders for dynamic poses, angles, and tutorials, etc), sketching from life (a friend might sit for you, or you can find a mirror to draw yourself/your room/your fave stuffed animal)- these things are less about what you’re drawing and more for training your eyes and your hands.
When looking for style, it’s really helpful to study the art that inspires you and pick them apart- what is it about the particular piece or the style of the artist that interests you? How can you apply that to your own work? You like when an artist draws eyelashes a certain way? Try it out! And you like how a different artist draws mouths? Apply it to that same drawing! Keep feeling around and experimenting until you’re happy where you are. Your hand will naturally add your own personal flavor to these things. The important part about this is to have many different sources of inspiration.
I like to keep folders of art that inspires me, photos whose palettes I love, etc. When I get stuck, just looking through these folders helps center me/give me direction and focus, even if they have nothing to do with what I’m drawing. These folders are also good to have of faces/outfits/objects/interiors/compositions you find interesting- you’re absorbing all of this information as you see it, so compiling the ones that stick out to you is quite useful! I’m quite bad at making up outfits for characters, so I have a folder dedicated to fashion inspiration that I look at regularly.
There are many free tools at your disposal that professionals and beginners use as well-
I found tutorials on YouTube to be priceless- even just watching speedpaints (especially ones where you can see the artists hands as they draw) are more than worth your time.
An app that has saved my butt when finding a tricky angle for a pose for my professional work is Magic Poser (they also have an app you can download). This might be a nice place to start if you’re struggling with poses or anatomy- it shouldn’t be a supplement to drawing from life if you’re seriously looking to learn, BUT there’s absolutely no harm in having fun with it!!
Similarly, I’ve had friends use the sims games to build interiors and exteriors of buildings for backgrounds and trace screenshots they took. It’s a really genius shortcut. There are heavy duty programs that you can use professionally with the same idea (SketchUp being one), but the point being, you can use pretty much anything as a reference or a tool for drawing. Whatever will make it more enjoyable and easier for you is something to consider!
Anyway, I hope something in there was useful to you- an artists journey is extremely personal and subjective. It will take a lot of trial and error, but the key is to be patient with yourself as you learn this new skill. Above all, art should be fulfilling to you, something that you enjoy doing. You will likely have moments of frustration and doubt, as I have countless times and I’m positive everyone else who has ever picked up a pen has too, but a big part of art is perseverance. You will make it over the hump, and when you do, you’ll be better for it. So, lastly, and most importantly, don’t forget to draw what you like. It’ll be the thing that’s waiting for you on the other side 💚
#ask box#not art#bones rants#bones super mega rants#holy shit I’m sorry for the wall of text#I had to hold myself back from saying more#there’s just a lot to say on this subject it’s hard to know where to begin#the other side of the hump not the other side as in the afterlife#but who am I to say
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Do farm clexa do anything special or fun with their kids when they're all on spring break?
Omg yes!!!! With the kids being older is much easier to do stuff outside than when they were smaller it was nearly impossible. But with every single one of them at school age things are simplier sometimes.
They camp outside a LOT. The kids love it, usually either Lexa or Clarke spends the night there with them (theres usually a mini fight about it. "I carried all of those kids my back is killing me" "well you got breaks in between i gotta carry my heavy tits everywhere!"), although its almost certain Saige and Aden will wake up in the middle of the night and go back inside to cuddle with whatever mom is nicely tucked in her bed. They tell stories - Madi and the twins love scary one, Lexa isnt much of a fan but Clarke likes to scare the kids a little and there were only tears one time - roast marshmallows while wrapped in blankets because the night air is still crisp although no impossibly so.
There's also a lot more of getting a picnic ready and going with the kids for a walk through the properties around them until theu reach this big lake. The kids are old enough to go ahead for a bit and Lexa and Clarke dont have to be scared one of them is going to fall badly or take off running like they used to do as toddlers. It also means Lexa and Clarke can enjoy the walk too, hold hands and steal kisses that will get them a groan from whatever kid was close by and caught the affectionate gesture.
Spring break and spring are beautiful on the farm itself, and although the kids still have chores, they are allowed more free time on their spring break and because those kids are all farm raised they will spend their spring break days outside doing activities that may be a little weird for their classmates, but they only have one computer and as of right now Madi is the only one with a phone so they have a lot of fun playing with the animals, reading and drawing outside in the sun and spring breeze. And on those rainy april shower days, they'll all have turns on the pc, while the rest plays pretend or, in Saige's case, stare longing outside, asking for her moms to tell her again the story of that rainy spring day when they were forced to run inside the old falling apart cottage to avoid getting wet when they were just about her age and how now its their forever home 🥹
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Small Vent cause stressed ahhhh
Lowkey think people take games, anime, books,movies, shows and just fandoms in general waaaay too seriously.
Like yes I get it, it can suck when a character to adore gets misrepresented by others. But they are just fictional characters at the end of the day. Maybe I'm just mostly saying this to myself to remind myself that it's okay that someone doesn't see a character like how I do. Because I'm deadass in multiple fandoms where we really just go but wild with our own versions of the characters. Like I'm in the Warrior cats AND the My hero academia fandom... And both of them are known for taking the canon and wiping their buts with it and or ignoring older material. Because well it just happens.
At first I use to get upset about it like how the warrior fandom made Bramblestar out to be this abusive monster without acknowledging the archs before hand and how in My hero academia doing.... Literally anything lmao(I love y'all though... Half of you anyway)
But seriously I just started to realize that the fandoms I'm in aren't My fandoms like I don't own them and I don't own the source material or the IP or whatever. And sometimes you never know why someone images certain characters they way they do. Whether it's for comfort or they think it's funny or they find it attractive or just to annoy people or literally just whatever.
But I always gotta remind myself that hey... THE BITCHES AIN'T REAL LMAO. Why get pressed about how other people illustrate characters. Like seriously I had to sit myself down like I was my own parent and ask myself why do I care about a fictional character being written out of character or drawn with a different design. And I really was just like... Damn yeah why do I care? These artists/writers are having fun and that's what it means to be in a fandom to just have fun.
The only time when I do get serious is when people try to harass others for characters they like because of how they see them vs canon.
Example: I saw this young artist get a bunch of hate comments under a drawing of Bramblestar/Brambleclaw because a massive part of the fandom claimed he was an abuser. Happened again with someone draw Crowfeather x Leafpool fan art because of how seriously people took Leafpool x Mothwing
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH MHA! They harasses the creator of the show sooooo many times in the past and current because of ships :T SHIPS YALL. Like I understand how frustrating it can be to see the show not end up how you wanted it to or not see too characters make out or whateva but God damn... They are fictional characters chill and just enjoy what we have or hell make what you wanted to happen. I literally do it all the time on my other page @purplestaruwu
Hell I'm still upset about how many characters were botched (in my eyes) in warriors, MHA, Naruto, bleach, marvel, DC etc.
But I think the fun in the fandom is making the what it's and creating our own versions of he characters and sharing it with others who feel the same or who just want to enjoy seeing the characters being draw in different designs, Au's, etc
I use to be so stuck up about everything being close to canon... But then I was just like "You know what it's not hurting anyone, you do whatever" and after that I feel like I became more relaxed being in fandoms... At least I try to be sometimes I do slip up but I stopped commenting on peoples different pov or au's or whatever unless I was gonna say something nice like complimenting the art or the writing or how good the plot of the story was.
It just got easier to just enjoy things and to just well not be so aggressive on the internet and not be online so much.
Cause whenever I get made about seeing a fictional character drawn in a way I don't like and I feel the need to say something... I just be like "yeaaah it's time to take a break for the day I think I've been online for too long"
This also goes for real things that happen online too lmao I just learned to take breaks and breath and remind myself that the online world is just that... The online world... And fandoms are just that fandoms...
I'm venting right now because I'm stressed out or more than likely I stressed myself out with because of online crap. And I just wanted to kind of put this here for me and for anyone else who kind of needs that reminder than you don't need to be online so much and you don't need to protect fictional characters or shows or movies or games or whatever it's not worth hurting someone's feelings because that.
But yeah that's all I think. Have a nice day and go drink some water c:
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Hi !!! I’m also been so small today what if maybe describe a dream bedroom/playroom for Penny :0
-crayon🖍️
sorry this took me a bit to answer, but this is such a cute idea!
so! i'm going with a playroom idea! it will be under the cut + the banner :-)
i think she has a bean bag chair and a few blankets in the far left corner of the room, just in case she gets sleepy or she wants to sit down on something comfortable. next to that area is a little drawer with coloring books and crayons and markers, so she can color while sitting on something comfy!
i think there's a big, fuzzy rug in the center of the room she likes to run her hands through because the texture is nice. there is an overhead light, but it's always turned off. she has windows for natural light (there are curtains on them too, they're light brown with white dots), and a bunch of fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. it's easier on her friends eyes. when she's alone, though, she will sometimes use the overhead lights, since it doesn't bother her much
in the right corner of the room, she has a toy chest! that's where her stuffed animals go, mainly. next to it is a dollhouse and various doll playsets. the dolls she plays with are scattered around there, since she doesn't see the need to clean up if she's gonna keep playing. plus, cleaning is boring! above the doll house and toy box is a shelf. this shelf has all of her porcelain dolls neatly lined up. she only plays with them when she's regressed to a bigger age or when she's big, because she really doesn't want to break them
i think next to the door, there's another box filled with stuff she can play with thatre more outdoorsy. there's a jump rope and a ball and some water guns, among other things. she likes playing with them inside, but her cg(s) have to reminder her not to because they don't want her to break anything
that's about it! i think the wall facing the door has two windows and a bunch of drawings taped to the walls around them, by the way :-) thank you for the ask, this was so much fun to write!!
#tail wags | asks#crayon#the dog | penny#penny lamb#legoland agere#legoland age regression#legoland play#legoland#rtc age regression#rtc agere#rtc musical#rtc#ride the cyclone agere#ride the cyclone age regression#ride the cyclone musical#ride the cyclone#paws on the keyboard | my posts
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Weekly Update: 5/1/23 - 5/6/23
Entertainment/Art Progress:
Man, I really do believe my work speed doubled, at least, when it came to my new tablet. I dunno if it's the bigger touch screen or the ability to use my computer's mouse, but something seems to be making my work on it more progressive and easier.
Speaking of, I'm nearing the outlining (and possible end) of the "Chapter 1" image for Getting Your Goat. I mean, it'd feel too disorganized to not have that matter of "divider" between comic sections/chapters, ja? Plus, it makes it feel more like a real comic, when it's finally all together. However, I'm feeling the urge to sketch traditionally, rather than outline on the tablet and digitally. I dunno what it is, but I feel easily peeved off with sketching on the tablet... Yet, coloring and outlining? I feel right and happy as rain.
I'm also doing another "writing practice" to help further ease any tedium of drawing and fully original writing, so keep your eyes peeled for more "fanfiction," per se. Hey, just a little something to tide me over, while I excitedly await Peach Creek to finally make its official debut. I've kinda fallen out of using NovelAi for assistance, during "dry spells" and all that with writing... Eh, why pay for the privilege when you can come up with an idea of what to do next, for free, if you're willing to be patient? Also, be prepared for a majority of Ed Edd n' Eddy themed ones, in that regard; but allow me to warn you right now, the canon characters they'd focus mostly on are Sarah and Jimmy, and follow a 2nd person narration of you being an alternate version of Claire that joins them in either simple antics or learning self-improvement. Sure, it involves everyone else, too; but if not something you'd read for fun, I'd say read it to critique and tell me how to do better, so my original works can benefit from that improved sense of quality.
Personal Life:
Well, I've gotten back into Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and it's certainly a nice experience to relive. I recall abandoning it for a couple years, but I've decided on resuming that matter of escapism. I mean, it doesn't take up too much time, you can play at your own leisure... It's a nice little matter of relaxation, when you just want a small break from things and also don't want to get sucked into playing for longer than intended, having to "complete missions" and all that.
I've also gotten my mother into Invader Zim, and it's nice when your parent can share fondness for a beloved cartoon series. She really seemed to enjoy the Gir shirt I got her for Mother's Day: it uses Gir to convey different emotions, with them listed under each picture.
I'm hoping that dedicating each weekday to a certain muscle group, instead of working them all on both days of the weekend, will not only help me better build them up and tone them, but also allow for more time on weekends to further speed up creative work progress.
Misc.:
Since my tablet functions as a replacement monitor (I can only use my traditional monitor or tablet to display things), I've also taken to using it as a new "game device" with my Steam list. I feel like I do better in the likes of Pizza Tower and all that, with the closer screen and tilted angle. So, yeah, that's a pleasant, yet admittedly "unorthodox," use for a tablet screen!
#personal updates#writing#drawing#comics#tablets#muscle building#weight training#parental bonding#weekly update#fanfiction#progress report#ed edd n eddy
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Today was pretty great but I am shocked at how much pain I'm in. Like I can't believe that the robbing that is happening in my heels. I honestly don't know what I'm going to be doing about this because I cannot have this happen again. I know I have done a ton of walking since Thursday but I don't understand why it's this bad it's usually okay.
But I tried my best not to let the pain I was in ruined my diet or get too hard on myself. I slept really low last night. Taking a melatonin really really help and I was able to fall asleep way better and way easier. I woke up around 9:00 and James was still in bed and we made a plan to get bagels and then go to the zoo. And then we would see what we would do after that. If we would do anything after that.
I really wanted to try to do two things a day but the zoo ended up being gigantic. And my feet were really bothering me. When I first got up my heels hurt so bad it was hard to stand for a few minutes but I was okay. I got dressed and I felt very cute. I wanted to dress like a panda because I was going to feel panda for the first time today. I was very excited about that.
So I got dressed and we started heading out. I wore my Birkenstocks because I thought having a different type of heel or shoe would help. But we made it out of the hotel and down the street before I had to stop and tell James I had to go back and change my shoes. My knees were pulling. I was having to hold my foot in a weird way I think and I just was not having a good time. Standing I was great. The cushioning in the shoes was exactly what I needed. But for walking I just couldn't do it. And so James said that was all right and we came back to the hotel and I put my boots on and I found a lot better. The pain in my legs thankfully wouldn't be as bad and wouldn't really kick up until really late in the day.
He walked to a really cute bagel place and we got our bagels and sat outside. I had strawberry lemonade again. And we watched the dogs and the people that walked by. And soon we were heading to the subway again.
I really like taking the subway. And honestly I'm really enjoying DC. I would for sure come again and spend a weekend. Or even just do day trips like me and James have talked about. Because I really enjoy the downtown and the subways are really great way for us to cover those long distances. Reminds me of being in New York.
And so we get down to where the zoo is and I wasn't thrilled about walking uphill. My feet were bothering me like I said. But we made it to the zoo and it was just such a beautiful day.
The weather was so nice. We both had brought our jackets because it was a little chilly when we first left but we basically didn't wear them for the rest of the afternoon. James carried my bag and our jackets. Because they're the best. My glass draw would end up getting broken in my bag and I was a little bummed about that but it's not the worst thing. I just hate that it's the second straw I've lost and they aren't cheap. I don't buy another one but it's still was kind of a bummer.
We got for the zoo though and James went and got us a map while I sat on the bench and ate the other half of my bagel that I had saved. And then we were off. The map was $5 but it was really nice and had a lot of information that I'm excited to read later and some activity stuff and some coupons which we forgot to use. But that's okay. I really hope that we go back and if we do I'll just bring the same map.
We saw so many animals I've never seen before. I've been to a lot of zoos all over the country and I've never seen a panda. But I've also never seen things like certain turtles. There was an amphibian that kind of looked like a worm that I never seen before. James had never seen it before either. The birdhouse was closed but we did get to see a few interesting birds and I just was having a great time. I had to take breaks sometimes but I really really enjoyed myself.
We stopped and got a pretzel at one point and we walked around and just enjoyed seeing all the beautiful displays and I think because it was so cool out the animals were much more active than maybe if you had gone in the summer. That has been my experience. Winter zoo trips tend to have less people and more animal action. And today it wasn't even cold so it was nice And I was just having a blast.
There were a couple small school groups but overall there was barely any people there and we didn't have to fight to see anything. Some of my favorite highlights were the panda. When we got there I thought it was going to cry when we saw that the baby panda, who wasn't actually a baby at those point he's like big sized, climbed a tree and then flopped over backwards in the tree to bite on a branch. I thought he was going to fall but he did not. And then we got to see a seal get really up close to the glass and swim around. Blow bubbles. And the tiger was up. And this other smaller Asian bear I don't remember the name of was up and walking around. It was just so cool.
Another part that I really enjoyed was the bobcats. There were three of them and they were running around and jumping on each other and then they were headbutting and it was so great. The house are really just loved seeing all of the like interesting ways that they set up the enclosures. It's not a Victorian zoo for sure. But there were some places it was just like maybe you guys should redo those. Mostly in the smaller lake amphibian and reptile house. Parts of it look great. I also just really love the monkey house and all of the tiny primates.
This was really just wonderful trip. I was getting a little exhaustive and so we stopped for lunch. We got sandwiches at the grill that they had in the zoo. And I got a panda cup. And we enjoyed our lunch before we continued on to the next part of the zoo which had a bunch of interesting horses and I saw goats sitting in wheelbarrels. And we missed some stuff because things were closed because of COVID I think. Or things that were being fixed that we didn't get to see. But we got to say so much and I just had such a good time.
My legs and my feet were hurting so much that I had to sit and take my shoes off at one point. I was just really suffering and I hated it. I'm so upset. I just wanted to be having a good time. But my energy was just zapped.
But we finished the zoo. I got a prairie dog plushie. I had to go through all of the prairie dogs in the basket to try to find the best one. And I still think his nose is to downturned so I'm probably going to add a stitch to it. But he is so cute and I love him so much.
James said that we could just come back to the hotel. I thought we would maybe go back to the national gallery or the sculpture garden but I think we both realized I couldn't handle it.
I wasn't even sure I could make the walk back to the subway. It made me want to cry.
But I held James's hand and they pulled me so I wouldn't fall behind. And we made it. We went and found somewhere to sit while we waited the 10 minutes for the next subway.
And then it was two stops until ours. And we walked slowly back to the hotel. I was so happy to be back.
I would lay upside down on the bed with my legs against the wall because Jess said it would help with how swollen and painful my feet were. And I think it did. James would join me and we laid like that for a while.
Eventually we decided on sushi for dinner. James would order and I would fall asleep.
The sleep was okay. But I couldn't stand up. My legs and heels were screaming. But after a few minutes it would be mostly okay. I could stand at least.
We had our dinner in bed. And I slowly felt better. Less exhausted. I'm still in pain but it isn't as much the only thing I'm thinking about.
We have had a chill night though. And it's been really nice. We put on the hokey game. I took another bath. And we've just been talking and enjoying each other's company.
Tomorrow I wanted to go to air and space but I think we will hair do the sculpture garden and a meal and go home. We have a ton to do, from cleaning to bringing in all the plants before the temperature drops. But honestly I have had the best time with my James and I am so lucky. I am excited to spend our first night in our own home as a married couple. Wild to say that.
Goodnight everyone. Be safe!! Love you all!!
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i havent texted my girlfriend today. cant bring myself to do it. im going to end things soon, so that they dont have to deal with me any longer. what am i supposed to say, when theyre two stars away from grace... and im just me.
i want to hate them, so that it'll be easier once i do what i need to do. but i love them so much, more than anyone else. theyre the only one i have in my shit city.
i hope they hate me. i hope they gossip about me and its only bad things that they tell. i hope when they think of me they only feel resentment.
i hope im the villian, when they talk about what we once were. i hope when i finally end it all, they talk shit about me to their family. we have a mutal friend group... when we break up, i hope our friends hear their part of the story only.
i hope they hate me and i hope they make everyone else hate me as well. then i'll truly be alone.. but its okay. because i deserve it.
its better than them loving me, because i cant be loved, when im i like this.
i wrote this ^^^ then decided to text them. it wasnt dry per say but just... distant. they asked me if i knew about their new animal jam oc that they've be drawing (i did, because of their pfp which changed on most platforms) but i said no, cause i just want hear them talk. i love how pretty they look when talk about their interests.
but well... apparently i was the last to know. they said, "oh i thought i told you." I care, obviously, that i wasnt the first to know (jealousy issues and all that).
Maybe it would have been nice to at least have a snipet of their work when they were drawing the multiple drawings of him.
its been like that since we started dating though; their friends get first priority. their discord group is the first to get spammed. i wonder what its like, having a group of irl friends who actually like you for you... ill never know that feeling, not since my old toxic friends.
but ive gotten used to being second, im nobodys first, its whatever. but i wanna know things, even about my girlfriend. but theyre not being forced to share things like that, its just me. its who i am. i am so unlovable, i am so unapproachable.
its definitely my fault, that we cant talk about things anymore. i want to blame it on my depression. i want to blame it on my autism and need for space. i want to blame it on my uni classes that keep me at the school from 9am to 8pm most days. i want to blame it on my insomnia.
but those are exuses for how shitty of a person i am.
thats why im breaking up with them. because i cant even be enough to hear about their interests without it feeling forced. they deserve someone more, someone better. i dont love myself, but i love them, even then i dont think thats enough.
why do i have to be like this?
i just wanna be someone's first choice. just once. but nobody will ever choose me, so ill close myself off and push myself away. slowly...
not even 🍀 realizes yet. sometimes i go distant and shut off, but we're both like that. i wonder if hes noticed that i never vent anymore, or talk about anything serious. i wonder if he analyzes my discord status as a cry for help instead of a simple song lyric. i wonder if he can read past all the fake happiness through capital letters, emojis, keyboard smashes and exclamation marks.
ive been pretending ive been getting better, but thats been far from true for a while. sh doesnt even work anymore. i only wish for death now.
🍀 left me before. three times. once, it was because i was needy. the second time, i wasnt enough for even his boyfriend- he chose his boyfriend over me. the third time was the worst, but thats a story for another day.
he always apologies and says hes sorry; i say i forgive him, because i dont want him to feel guilty. he left me for a reason, its cause im an unlovable person. and i do forgive him, how could i not? when hes the person who gives me life? getting that text message that he wanted me back was literally like a dream, but i didnt and still dont understand why he would take me back. i dont think i deserve a third chance.... who knows
i forgive him. i cant be mad at anybody anymore, i cant find it in me to care. but im still hurt by it. im scared, too. im scared im gonna wake up and he'll be gone again.
im selfish, but im scared when he mentions his friends... how pathetic right? but its them who told him to leave me all those years ago.
maybe it'll be best this time though. if it happens a fourth time, he has to believe them right? i hope they make him hate me.
but ill pretend im okay for another day.
- ji
(1 / 16 / 2024)
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