#and you cant even blame the person at fault that much bc they were literally fucking born into this
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i let this thought go tonight and it will never see the light of the moon ever again so here goes every thought in my mind abt the poppy war trilogy. mind you, a lot of this is just nonsensical dabble and incoherent babbling bc i cant ever form coherent thoughts but whatever.
id pay big money and wage a thousand wars to go back in time and yank every material object out of my hand and out of my reach to ensure that i never even wondered abt the trilogy's existence. it's not that i regret reading them because they sucked--no, far from it. it's not that i led myself blind and didnt take the extra precautions to make sure that i was in the right mindset to read them. i knew what i was going into, what ch21 was withholding, i knew how graphic and how heavy they would be to read. i retreated to my room and poured a stupid amount of hours staring at a screen, at a bunch of words, and feeling such bizarre emotions.
that being said, i love runin. i love how bold she was and how persistent she was despite having her bones kicked inwards from quite literally every person she has let into her life. i love how she was a proper morally grey character, a heroine led astray and betrayed by her very own thoughts. i love her bc even though she was the anthropomorphic personification of a god, she was still human. at the end of the day, what killed her wasnt a higher being, it was the self. that part of her arc cemented her place in my top list of female book leads. i love rin because she was human through and through, all the sides of it, she was everything. reading her was a tough pill to swallow, but a necessary one because she is proof of how dangerous the mind can be to itself, to how dangerous humanity is to itself. and sometimes id wish i could reach into their world and pull her back to ground bc of her recklessness. i love and hate rin at the same time, never one more than the other.
i love kitay even more. never once have i faulted him, he knew what was best, a moral compass for readers really. especially after primarily reading from rin's violent and often irrational perspective, it was relieving to have a voice of reason. theres not much i can say abt him other than the fact that he is my favourite out of the trio, id see it through no matter what. yes i wish he'd said no to bonding himself to rin, to put himself on a compromise, but at the same time i'm glad that he did. kept rin grounded, gave her a sense of purpose other than vengeance, instilled her a sense of duty and obligation--to survive, not only for herself but for him as well. will always defend him no matter what, this boy is clean and he is faultless.
nezha nezha nezha. i tried for three books (and tdf) to like him, truly, but even after all those pages i still dont know how to feel about him. he was insufferable in the first book, honourable for most of the second, and downright pathetic in the third. but if i say that i hate nezha then id have to say that i hate rin as well. they were both children of war, born under humiliating circumstances and forced to take the wager of compromise, they share the same faults. its not fair of me to defend one and leave the other open, they forced the ugliness out of each other. they were tragic. i saw his betrayal from kilometres away, but anticipation did not make forgiveness easier. but i know what it feels like to be brought up as a pawn for ur own family's benefit, to be subjected to so much responsibility when you barely know the world and its wonders, feels like a push to the edge. i cant blame him for that.
in short, im devastated. ive had my tears ricochet on loop since i started the first book. i am but a hollow shell of the person i was before this book. it has altered my life (/hj) and i cant go a minute of my day without thinking abt it. it's incredibly tragic, it's flawed in its own ways but it is also three incredible pieces of literature. rfk did well, im glad i read it while at the same time hate myself for reading the entirety of the trilogy in the span of 36hrs. i dont think its once u can read almost immediately, u need to pace yourself. 5 golden stars from me nonetheless.
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I grow up locked in a room most of time w my sister, she was and has been the person i have interacted the most my entire life, my life was that room and her so she was my entire world. my mom never acknowledged my existence unless it was to casually insult me or scream to me to insane levels when she was high (she did talked w my sister for some reason) and my father who only visited me to torment me and hit me, i would literally run trying to escape for then be catched and hit again n again and my mother would watch and laugh
My mother loved making jokes abt it and my sis get mad when i didnt stand up for myself against him, but i was so small and my dad was so big i dont know how i could have i just felt so humiliated and pathetic and weak, just a total worthless failure, i think when i see violent parents in movies or media they tend to be violent against all the family but i was the only one he ever hit, i feel there was something specific with me that it was so defectuous i made everyone upset and angry and sad, i wish i had never be born so everyone would have been happier people
At some point my sis went to live to panama w our grandman and i was put back in the same room with now no human interaction since my sis was gone this time, this made me miss her n feel she was my one and only savior back then.
until today im not sure for how long was i in that room bc there wasnt sun light it was so horrible i lost sense of time it could have been a week or 6 months i have no idea. I developed insomnia and also forgot how my voice sounded like and missed the sensation you get on your throat when you make a sound, so i would talk to myself at times, otherwise i felt i would end up forgetting how to talk. i had a tv and 3 cds and i cant stop thinking about them bc im so grateful for it, i could watch them on replay forever and have something to do and have company. i feel after this any possibility of social skills were now completely taken from me or thats what i love believeing bc i love blaming on
everything for my defects
Later when i was 11 my sis came back n started getting bad and really sad but it got so bad she started threatening about killing herself. If i didnt do everything she wanted
I once tried writting how i was feeling and that i was feeling bad n she found my post hand she was so digusted, she told me no one does that and that it was cringe n that i should delete it, my best friend also got annoyed at me later for being scared all the time and writting so much nonsense, i have had so little amount of friends on my life and almost if not all have leave me for this.
if i looked sad she would get mad if i didnt do everthing she say it will be so bad much worse for me, shed got so upset and would later have freak outs and talk about killing herself
if i dont do what she says she will kill herself and it will be my fault, i had to clean everything for her do all her cleaning part, wash her clothes cook n bring her food, give her all my belongings agree to everything she says, later on life when i started working i must give her all my payments, when she screams or freaks out at me and by no means im allowed to say anything back if i do it will be the end it will be much worse.. on school i cried literally everyday in front of everyone bc i just wanted to die and i didnt wanted to go back home but at the same time i was losing it bc if i wasnt there w her she would kill herself and it woul be my fault, but then bc of crying sm and being so weird i got always got bullied on school
It was like this for the next 4 years then it became less horrible and now isnt so bad shes better and im glad now but i cant help but wonder if its also bc became better at not replying back and behaving, still she’s genuinely so good to me and we can laugh togheter but im so terrified of her
But i i dont know how to be away if i say i want to live alone she will be so sad and ill be questioned, and even so im so psychically n mentally ill. I often go blind, i was in bed sick for 2 years and my medication is already so expensive, i dont feel i can live by myself i dont know how to live without her im an absolutely lost cause a
nd i feel its too late for me and i cant be fixed n i feel even if everything would be promised to me to be better n never hurt again im not sure if i want to even continue bc i no longer have energy left i just want to die
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👀 mcc discourse? /gen
okay mcc discourse time everyone strap in
the three things i see people being pissed about most often are the lack of lgbt+ people in the event, the specific lgbt+ creators playing and, of course, technoblade being involved. so, let's break down why all three of these things are fucking dumb.
1) "there isnt enough lgbt+ creators".
this would be a fair argument that i could get behind...if not for the way mcc is set up for this specific event—and by that i mean it is a youtube sponsored event. the ccs involved need to have platforms on youtube to be able to participate to begin with, as it is a charity event. mcc doesn't have a lot of lgbt+ streamers involved this time around because a lot of those streamers straight up could not stream this event and scott literally said this himself.
on top of that, this isnt a "get invited and you can play!" event, it is a "you need to apply to be involved" event, meaning, if people dont meet the deadline, or they dont apply at fucking all, they cant play. that's not on fucking scott or anyone organizing mcc, that is on the ccs (if they even wanna be involved, i could not blame them for avoiding mcc after last times mess) who didnt apply in time/at all.
2) "there isnt enough diversity in the lgbt+ streamers" aka "im erasing people's identities and, again, disregarding the literal qualifications for this mcc which include having a youtube platform"
i keep seeing people bring up how every lgbt+ person in mcc is white and able bodied and neurotypical etc etc (which is an inaccurate statement anyways) as reasons why they "arent good enough" or they're bringing up how there "isnt any of [x] sexuality/gender involved" as if that's the organizers faults and i uh. i hate to break it to yall but, again, this is an apply to get in event. if these ccs that were "more diverse" (bc why the fuck are we referring to these ccs playing in fucking minecraft championship as some weird ass diversity characters instead of real life people who are more than their race, disability, etc.) met the requirements and were lgbt+ but just didnt apply, while a lot of other white, cis, neurotypical, able bodied, whatever the fuck else, did? yeah. nobody can change that. scott didnt just pick and chose who gets to play, there are literal rules for this event and also applications that are involved like?? hello????? and obviously i would love to see some more lgbt+ creators from different backgrounds with different identities in the cast, that would be awesome, but that is ultimately not up to the organizers. they cant force people to play. they cant skip people in the waiting lists. they can't have people who cant stream be involved in this mcc as their first event, both because it would be sad for them not to stream their first mcc and because it is a literal charity event.
and, to make things worse, a lot of people are saying there "isnt any trans people this mcc" which is just. a blatant lie. eret isnt cis and sqiashey is genderfluid, yall just dont like eret so you decide to refer to her as a "cis man" constantly, which is transphobic, and yall also dont know sqiashey so instead of doing research, you started running ur mouths and then didn't apologize when you got called on it.
like. even if eret was truly problematic, which i dont believe they are as they have apologized for every little mistake theyve made and dealt with the backlash from entitled little privileged teenagers online all while not complaining even the slightest bit, that still doesnt give you a right to misgender them and erase their identity as a non cis person entirely because you're mad over a fucking minecraft event like??? how fucking privileged you must be that this is what gets you heated. not any actual homophobia or transphobia, but apparently "lgbt+ people in minecraft not being diverse enough". choke.
3) "technoblade is a lesphobe, why is he in mcc"
tw on this section: i discuss my expierences with homophobia as an afab nblw briefly and reclaim the d slur (if you wanna read this section and avoid the homophobia discussion and/or d slur, skip from "as someone who is nblw" to "techno making a shitty joke").
all of techno's lesphobic comments are from 5+ years ago and were, at worst, jokes in poor taste. as someone who is nblw, i have had men follow me and my friend around and call us dykes for holding hands in a museum, i have had my family members harrass me for my sexuality and casually talk about how im gross and wrong for liking girls and i have been punished by literal teachers for showing "too much pda" with my past girlfriends despite the fact that ive never even kissed someone on campus before, just held hands and hugged. techno making some shitty jokes when he was a teenager years ago, while also having a plethora of examples of him being an lgbt+ ally, which does include lesbians, should not be treated the same way as literal bigots calling queer people slurs. and if you think it should be, you have had it fucking lucky.
yes, it is valid to be upset over these jokes, they're fucking weird and he shouldnt have made them, but to treat it with the exact same seriousness as a grown ass adult showing blatant homophobia in current times? no. fuck no.
extra notes bc there's some minor discourse points i left out: no, dream team shouldnt get to be involved in this event over other cishet ccs involved just because they have bigger platforms because this quite literally isnt about them, it's about lgbt+ people and they just didnt happen to get in. shut the fuck up. stop mentioning ant and velvet as people who shouldve been involved, they're quite literally together rn doing little daytrips and shit and they most likely dont wanna spend their time together playing fucking minecraft. also, stop saying techno should be replaced with ranboo (or anyone for that matter), it breaks ranboo's fucking boundaries and him donating 100k to the trevor project doesnt suddenly mean he gets to skip the mcc waiting list.
in conclusion: twitter stop whining over pride mcc, your privilege is showing.
(tagging @tauntwenthome bc you said you wanted to hear as well <3)
#mcc#technoblade#mcyt fandom critical#dsmp fandom critical#fandom critical#discourse#this was hard to write bc this situation is a pain in the ass to explain ajsksk#like specifically the 2nd section i kept rewriting and i still think it sounds confusing but whatever#mcyt#mcytblr#ask to tag#shit self#ok to rb#asks#ghcstbvr#magnus tag 💭#bangerz
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I try to stay out of shipping discussions since I don't have a ship anyway but I just wanna get this off my chest. I don't care what people ship. If people want to shit Keenry that's fine by me. If people want to ship SamRobby, that's fine by me too. What does strike me as weird tho is how people who really and truly are very defensive of Robby in every other way don't see that Sam has hurt Robby too. Even if you exclude the kiss at the party since Sam was drunk and not fully in control of her actions, she wasn't honest with him about her feelings for Miguel and Robby felt that. He even says that he felt insecure when he told her about the medal of honor. I get that she wrote to him while he was in juvie but Robby did try to write back, he just literally couldn't. Sam then proceeded to move on with Miguel. I get that the scene at the dojo was intense and there really wasn't a situation for her to actually explain things properly but then she chose to go to the skatepark to see him. Sam may have been right about Robby joining CK being bad but anybody could've said that. Johnny and Daniel said that and they were both right too. That doesn't change the role they played though. If you've watched the scene then you can't deny that Sam spent the whole time talking about what she wanted and how she felt. You can see how Robby shuts down as she keeps talking. I don't see how saying that Sam not acknowledging other people's feelings is just a flaw that she has anyway makes her doing that to Robby any less wrong. When you care about someone, acknowledging their feelings is something that you should always do. Although I will say that Daniel and Johnny are guilty of this as well. As far as the cafeteria fight goes, I definitely hold Tory accountable for starting that fight and I stand by my previous statements that Sam did not deserve what Tory did to her at all but Tory wasn't involved in the altercation with Miguel. Miguel was the one that attacked Robby. And Robby did call out Tory for starting the fight the next time he saw her. I also don't understand how people can just shrug off the cupcake comment bc it is bad regardless of the context. I'm not saying Sam is bad but the comment was. If a guy had made a comment like that I doubt people would've just shrugged it off. Sam may not have been the person that hurt Robby the worst but she did hurt him. We see as much on the show. Of course I'm not denying that Sam had helped Robby. She was the one who told Daniel about Robby's situation at home. Robby was really grateful to her for that. Also, it's one thing for Sam to feel hurt about everything that happened. But she didn't say during that prom fight "I'm hurt too", she said "you think I broke your heart". We cant just blame everything we don't like on the writers. I see people going back and forth saying that it was a fault on part of the writers and then saying that the line made sense bc Sam is allowed to feel hurt too. Well it can't be both. If we are going to take that line into account and say that Sam's allowed to feel hurt, it still doesn't change the fact that she invalidated Robby's hurt while talking about her own. Saying "you think" like that makes it seem as if she believes Robby's hurt is just in his head. There is a reason why Robby is upset with her. He wasn't upset with her about the cafeteria fight, he was looking forward to seeing her after he got out of juvie. He got upset with her after catching her with Miguel. I can see how the scene at the dojo wouldn't have been the best time for a conversation but then Sam chose to approach Robby at the skatepark. Just as a side note, I do think it's worth mentioning that she went there looking for him. But Daniel went looking for Robby too. That doesn't change that he let him down really badly. Throughout that whole conversation, Sam kept talking about her feelings and what she wanted. When Robby did bring up an argument he had, like Johnny, she shrugged it off by saying he was trying to change. Personally, I've always tried to validate Sam's trauma and her feelings. I just can't justify everything she says and does. I do think Sam gets a lot of unfair hate but I don't think I'd put it on par with the hate Robby gets as with Robby it's literally always things that are either 100% defensible and justifiable, not even true or just plain sick jokes like the ones made about him in prison. I do feel Sam gets hate for things out of her control but I don't think it's unreasonable to criticise her for her behavior towards Robby or to point out that she does have trouble considering other people's feelings and she does struggle with holding herself accountable. I'm not saying that I'm opposed to SamRobby being endgame, I just feel that if that were to happen Sam should first show Robby that she truly cares about him bc right now Robby truly believes she doesn't. And it isn't even a matter of whether it's true or not. Johnny and Daniel care about Robby too but Robby has every reason to believe they don't. I really don't see how it's any different with Sam beyond the fact that with Sam it's romantic. Again, as I said these are just my thoughts that I needed to get off my chest. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. I have absolutely nothing against people shipping SamRobby and even agree with vast majority of stuff that some of them say regarding Robby and the others. I am just stating my opinion bc I just needed to get it off my chest
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Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)
(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)
Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic
He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u
In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against
And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”
He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin
If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)
The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”
U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO
He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”
And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN
And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”
He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight
Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong
He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to
And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell
Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not
During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage
Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things
On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately
Now both on like 5 no fly lists
He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.
He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose
He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen
He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion
Like the comments r like:
Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!
Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐
Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN
Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD
(Y/N): love it! 😍
Zoe: kill your producer 💀
Mira: ...
He’s overprotective too
If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”
Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him
Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason
Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do
It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u
WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!
If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”
Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it
He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....
He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma
Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”
If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤
The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world
Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him
WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u
Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave
He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?
Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place
If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally
I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭
If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back
Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”
If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will
U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life
I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️
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Hi sorry for the messy long rant, but i have some things to get off my chest that probably makes no sense sorry
First off i am SO conflicted about all of this bc one way I think everyone has their right to express their opinions and connect that to their personal experiences, but i think we should also remember that we have no idea how HC and NV met, i barely know anything about her, and while yes it does look like she gave up everything in the US and that she doesnt post anything on her instagram of her going to tourist places so it seems like she is really isolated and cooped up in that rental, but again we dont really know that 100%…? We have literally no idea how theyre doing rn and what theyre doing. Everything we talk about her is just the same old assumptions and theories that we’ll never know the truth off.
I dont excuse her problematic actions, her apology was awful and maybe she was in utter panic that the first thing she did was just send those messages because shes ignorant on these social issues. But on the other side shes also gotten A LOT of abuse and bullied by people online, making fake shit thats practically career ending. Henry tried protecting and standing up for her with the FO post, but he could have worded some of that better. But like im in the minority of that. Practically everyone thinks the FO post was good.
The hate has taken a big toll on Henry and im surprised people havent noticed this. Hes totally disconnected himself from his fans and seems pretty much everyone and i dont even blame him. I hope he talks to someone about this, but i doubt he doesnt.
Hes gotten these types of rumors about him for years, but theres never really any backup to prove these rumors. I dont rly know what to say on this matter, but its just oof that Henry is either known for being a creep, a bad actor or hyped to infinity of how great of a geeky sexy guy he is. Theres no inbetween
Im glad this acc is a safe place for people to share their opinions, but sometimes i think people get too biased and read too much into these messed up rumors that they cant differenciate between whats actually true and just fake speculation to stir drama all because he dated a 19 year old in 2015 as if that isnt a common thing with rich men…i dont like it and i still hate that he would go down that ruite but it is what it is :/
I cannot really argue with your first paragraph. We know nothing specific or very less. People basically should stop taking about him and them if we olny can discuss the proven facts.
The made up stuff especially the porn was awful but his FO was before that. He tried to protect themselves after the S16 backlash and the awful photoshop theories. (somehow those were simpler times because those were so obviously made up “discoveries”) After her blackface photo we got the FL pictures and her pictures from the tental but he went completely silent. Maybe except the Meat picture in his story.
I think people noticed this, they just don’t feel pity for him. I mean the hate is never acceptable but I cannot say voicing some sort of disappointment especially if it’s not on their SM is something people should stop. This situation is partly his fault. I am sorry if he is getting hate, no one should, but even before NV his started to change. His presence on IG. ( and maybe NV has been in the picture already we just didn’t know.) So it’s not 100% because of the bad reception of their relationship.
I cannot really add anything more, you put everything together so well and I cannot actually argue with anything you said. Thanks for this ask and sorry for it took me so long to answer.
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oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)
ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking of replacements fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off
#chain of iron spoilers#chain of iron#coi#choi#the last hours#tlh#lucie herondale#jesse blackthorn#lucie x jesse#secrets#matthew fairchild#cordelia carstairs#cordelia herondale#james herondale#james x cordelia#drinking#the gracelet#the bracelet situation#parabatai#alistair carstairs#thomas lightwood#alistair x thomas#anna lightwood#ariadne bridgestock#anna x ariadne#grace blackthorn#tatiana blackthorn#belial#prince of hell#enchantment
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i think you missing the second period really affects your judgement on the game (no hate my love i literally am obsessed w you) but we had a 5 minute penalty major called against lomberg when it shouldnt have been called. It was such a horrible call that even canes fans and nhl fans all over twitter were upset with the call. Ryan Lomberg and Antti Raanta collided and left Raanta hurt (i was so worried for him) and Lomberg got a 5 miniute major conduct and a game. The only issue with the call is that the goalie was so far out into the ice that Lomberg didnt have enough time to stop and get out of the way, ver rarely do you see a goalie that far out. If you watch the play you can see Deangelo warning Lonberg and Lomberg trying to move out of the way but it had been far too late. Since the goalie was so far out, at that point it is not Lomberg’s fault and fair game. I truly hope Raanta is good tho🥲. That call was horrible tho and we were on the power play 5 minutes which led to a goal from you guys. That being said, the panthers were actually playing pretty sloppy in the third (i wont blame the second period on them), but their great start really helped them pull thru with the win. I know yall were missing pesce and nino, but we had lost our best player and captain Aleksander Barkov and our stud goalie Bobrovsky. Losing your goalie and captain can be scary, but they still fought through. I love watching carolina play, but it seems as if Freddie wasnt at his best yesterday. Panthers goalie could have been better too, but hes only 20 years old so hes simply just learning. Both these teams are strong and have amazing front lines, but overall I think the panthers defense and offense were just slightly better. Ik this bc canes twitter was attack the panthers for their only con, which is fan attendance 🥲. That being said there was a lot of efforts from the boys, but I do think the panthers have had a harder schedule so they were used to really good teams and had the chance to fix the problems on their team. I believe the canes will learn from this and come back stronger, like the panthers did after the OTL against the bruins. Loved watching TT, Aho and Svech try their hardest last night. Ironically for some reason the best cane against the panthers is former panthers vinny trocheck 🥲 but its still ALL love for him here. Cant wait to see these guys play again bc Im sure the Canes will step up their game, and Id love to see them play against Barkov and Bobrovsky. BTW if you love the finns I promise you Barkov is a great guy to follow... he is literally so adorable🥺
Yeah that's why I told the anon I'm probably not the best person to discuss about the game with LOL but, while I do also agree with a majority of what you said, you have also only brought up the argument of five minute penalty on the panthers as "the refs favoring the canes". I didn't see the play live, but from what I have seen of players charging goalies, there's mostly always a way to avoid injuring them even if they do go way out of the crease. I just watched the play, and while yes I can see DeAngelo warning him and Lomberg trying to stop, at the end of the day it's still charging. I personally think Lomberg should've been paying more attention, but considering this seems to happen a lot when goalies exit the crease I just don't know. I agree with the five minute major, but I don't think he deserved to be ejected from the game either because injuring Raanta was a complete mistake on Lomberg's part, nowhere do I blame him for that.
In all honesty though, it's just about perspective. Bias plays a lot into how we view games or certain plays, and it's no different for the game last night. The Panthers were the better team (that much was very obvious and nowhere am I saying that we were better), and I do applaud them for that considering they were missing some key players, but, and I'll say this again, it will always be in my opinion that they had a lot of help from the refs. You and the other anon have only brought up the five minute major to argue for unfairness versus the four separate penalties called on us in the first period alone, one on Slavin of all players not even a minute into the game.
Thanks for this lovely debate though, I truly do enjoy them!! But in this case I think we'll just have to agree to disagree, because it's only in human nature to see what we want to see and in this case, I saw very biased refs trying to get us to lose and my mind can't be changed in that, as with you pointing out the unfairness of the five minute major.
I'm also looking forward to seeing them match up again with a (hopefully) full & healthy team, and I might just have to check out Barkov now that you mention it... I do love myself some finns
#im obsessed with u too anon 🤪🤪🤪#respectful debates are my JAM#canes will beat the panthers next time just u wait 😤#long post#<333 anon#answered#canes lb
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dnf royalty!au bc i am a weak weak man
GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ONE
royalty au where george and dream are royals in opposing kingdoms and george isssss like idk 27-29 and dream is 21-23 but george's dad died when he was likeeeee 16 or 17 so hes been king since then and dream is still prince in his own kingdom but his father is old but georges father and dreams father didnt get along when georges father was still alive and dreams father insists on carrying out the rivalry that they had even though george literally paid him to shut him up, theyve been at war for years, close to a decade, (both families squabbling for more. both families have had issues for generations) w georges kingdom not losing much but dreams losing men, money, food and other resources bc his dad was a selfish ruler. at some point famine takes over dreams kingdom and george offers the king enough food to feed his whole kingdom for the winter in exchange for the kings only heir and the end of the war ('i will give you enough food to feed your whole country for one winter if you remove all your men from the battlefields and leave your only heir under my care, promise me the end of your bloodlines rule and i will make sure you live through the winter') (dreams dad struggled w having kids so losing his only heir would be a big deal) dreams dad never let him leave the castle often so he doesnt fully understand the state of his country but he understands that this war has wrecked their country and theyre on the brink of collapse so he willingly goes w george (''''''willingly'''''' meaning he gave himself up despite his fathers protests w the plan of sneaking back somehow) so george provides food for dreams country and dream follows george and basically lives by his side at all times??? idk what role this would be called but ykkkkk basically dream follows him around as george just runs his country and hes a cold a mericless ruler making all the decisions needed to make his country profit but he always makes sure to ensure the benefit of his people the people always work together and hes built shelters for the homeless and makes sure theres open opportunities for trading w other kingdoms and plenty of farms/food so they never suffer from famine and implemented a strong education system so everyone has a chance to excel in something. dream doesnt know much abt his own country bc his tutors and family always implied that their country was the best based solely on how well the upper class citizens were doing while there was a high homelessness rate and such, so dream always assumed 'if we're doing well everyone else should be doing just as well right?' bc he never knew any better but george got him a reliable tutor (techno, who also happened to be a war general/soldier whos a tutor while hes not deployed) and has people teach him to fight/defend himself (punz and sapnap bc i said so) and teach him how to be a strong respected ruler without being selfish and bigoted. when he first arrived in georges country he expected to be locked up and even potentially tortured bc hes the son of a king and bloodline who this country has been fighting w for generations but the people dont mind, hes given a good room and treated like royalty BC HE IS george only took him to his country to ensure the ending of dreams bloodline, not to make him miserable. also i take it back george isnt a 'cold and mericless ruler' hes just distant at first but dream sees him w his people and hes smiley and nice and open and charismatic and everyone loves him AND HES CONFUSED hes v distant w dream, not necessarily cold or anything more jsut hesitant? if that makes sense he really has no reason to be but he is and only around dream but eventually george takes him travelling to the peaceful parts of the kingdom, tutors him personally on specific topics (busy man doesnt have time for tutoring him all the time LOL) and teaches him to properly rule a country while still having the respect of ur people and having them like you to the point of wanting to help the country progress and perform well. dream sees this and wonders why his father never did this and george goes
on to explain bc his father was a 'greedy and corrupt leader in all honesty, im shocked he raised a kid as honest as urself' and dream talks abt how well his dad treated him and such and how he lost his mom young and how his dad was all he had and he really only showed dream his good side and really did try his hardest to be there for dream his whole life despite being a relatively distant father and george FINALLY OPENS UP TO HIM ABT HIS CHILDHOOD AND HOW HIS MOTHER WAS ACTUALLY KILLED MY MERCENARIES SENT BY DREAMS DAD WHEN GEORGE WAS 9 OR SUMN AND LOST HIS DAD ATTTT IDK FUCKIN 16 (mind u george only started tutoring dream after like 6 months of having him bc,,, distant) and dream apologizes profusely but george shuts him down bc 'its not ur fault its ur fathers, i dont mean to beat the dead horse but ur father isnt the man he showed u he is, i lost both of my parents to him so i took the thing he cares about most to get a way of subtle revenge, if that makes sense, i dont have to kill you to make him hurt' or sumn and dream realizes that george Hurts he lost both of his parents AS A KID to HIS FATHER he was forced into the throne at 16 bc no one else was responsible enough to do so and has been running the most successful kingdom in the area for over a decade while fighting a war w one hand and building a powerhouse of a country w the other, he managed to become the most responsible ruler before the age of 25, he gave up his childhood for the sake of his country and it shows hes a composed man, never taking time for himself and working himself to the bone having to put of w dreams fathers selfishness since the day he was brought to the throne
'ur father demanded gold for something my father had 'owed him', so i gave him gold. he father demanded food to repay a debt he made up, so i gave him food to silence him. he demanded a war as revenge on my ancestors so i killed his men. i killed and i killed and i killed until ur country couldnt take one more death, until one more life lost would cripple ur country beyond repair and forced him to beg me for resources and in exchange i got you. the single thing the would never give up and yet u gave yourself up bc u knew it was what was bet for your country, your people. youre nothing like your father dream and im sad ill never get to see you rule your own country' and dream just buries his head in his hands and puts his head on the table and just 'god george im so sorry and b4 u say its not my fault i know its not my fault my oblivion to everything that was happening my whole life everything happening to you, lead to so much suffering if i had just' 'dream its not your fault-' 'i know! i know its not but if i had just known-' 'dream. ur father kept u from knowing so u couldnt see what he was doing. there was nothing u could do. dont blame urself for what ur father did. ur his son but ur not him. im a terrible judge of character but i can see that much.' and dream stands up and hugs him over the table (this is the first time theyve ever gone out the way to touch each other in any way ft. v v v v v v v v touchstarved george x physically affectionate dream) and dream buries his head in georges neck and says 'i know its not my fault but that doesnt mean i cant say sorry for those who wont' and george just sits there and eventually just awkwardly pats the back of dreams head and they never talk abt it again
#dnf fic#dnf#GUYS IM SO SORRY#IM SO SORRY ABT THIS ONE GUYS#ITS BEEN HAUNTING ME FOR DAYS LITERAL DAYS#georgenotfound#dream mcyt#do i tag as the acutal people orrrr bc like idk#how abt i do both#c!dream#c!georgenotfound#i will in fact be adding more to this but this is all i got rn dw ill be back w more whether its tmrw or next month thats up to god#fic ideas
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Tbf the heroes don't know what happened to Tenko. They look at Shiggy and see a guy who attacked USJ and tried to kill the Symbol of Peace, who organised attack on a summer training camp and kidnapped a kid, who leveled down a whole city and who now is leveling another one. They don't see a victim bc they don't know he is one. But they do see the damage he does and act accordingly.
Yeah but thats not all they see. Especially this arc. Heroes arent stupid. They have enough information to see Shigaraki as victim.
1- They know that there is no sign about Shigaraki in records which means hever never go to school like normal kids, he didnt get quirk counseling, but most importantly it means that society never support Shigaraki Tomura, if they were, they would know.
2- They know Shigaraki is mentally child and they also know that he just NEW started to grow, they immediately realized there might be some adult behind the kid. Someone who groomed him.
3- Then, later they found All For One. The person who is behind of the kid. Afo is a man who is famous with manipulating people. When they heard about this, again, they could understand. Afo made it clear that he wants Shigaraki to be successor and again another proof that Shigaraki was groomed.
4- Shimura Tenko. Allmight and Gran Torino literally know what kind of person Afo is. They even knew that Afo targeted the kid, they must’ve been understand there is something wrong with this sitution, like Shigaraki didnt become this way because he is evil but they kept it as secret. They said they will research but there is no voice since then.
5- Kurogiri. They literally saw that how Shirakumo, hero student became a dangerous villain. Not only they saw how good person can become a villain but also they saw Shirakumo is still in there. That there is a hope.
6- Noumus. Heroes knew that noumus are people who are victim of science. Shigaraki was in one of that tupes, he was being used and treated as tool but instead of thinking he might be victim, they dehumanized him more and more.
etc etc etc.
Its not that they dont understand Shigaraki is victim but easier to believe that he is not cause saving him would be hard.
Now, you might say that somes knows nothing about those informations, they dont know everything.
For the ones who knows something, they are the ones who could’ve change things but they chose not to. Like Gran Torino who knows Afo and Shimura history or Aizawa who literally ignored the evidence that Shigaraki is might be just like Eri, just like Kurogiri.
Well, for people who know none of them, i wouldnt fully blame them but problem is more like the way system is. The heroes who knows something about it, literally covered it up and didnt even warn people about it. The posibility that Shigaraki is a victim.
Because they dont actually interested in changing things or rehabilition of villains. The system is normalizied the violence towards villains that most heroes ignore the fact that villains are humans too.
You might say what else they could do? Well, many things actually cause heroes are the ones who have the power in society. They are the ones who control of the sitution.
They could talk about this subject, instead of covering up. They could research about it more. They could at least listen and trying to understand this sitution.
You might say They have no time to talk.
But funny, they have time to blame him for existing.
And yeah, i guess, burning someone alive or trying to kill him is easier than talking...
You might say But Shigaraki needs to be stop so they have no choice to do this.
Yeah, Shigaraki needs to be stopped, of course, they cant let people die. But they have no choice? This is not true.
In story, many times it shown that heroes know how to be amazing when they wanted to. They can make a lot of miracles in most impossible situtions and at least, they always try. Why? Cause they think its worth it. And in those times, they will try their best.
It’s not that they cant save Shigaraki. Its that they cant bother with it. They think its not wothy to save someone like that. They will literally ignore every evidence in front of them. Even though, Shigaraki literally showed his suffering in front of them.
You might say why they would care about murderer’s suffering but again, its about the system they are in. The way villains are treated. Just because someone is criminal or villain, it doesnt mean they deserve to die or being treated as less human being. They ignore Shigaraki cause thats how villains are treated in society and they dont plan to change it cause they are so blinded by system.
And again, they wont try to save Shigaraki cause he doesnt cry like Eri or openly asking for help. They think good people will always stay good and they will hold their feelings forever but this is impossible cause everyone has breaking point and despite heroes knows in deep that they will still ignore it.
And you might say Shigaraki and other villains didnt have to kill people etc etc but Like Shigaraki and story explained it many times;
the people in league, they were good people and they tried, they endured, until enduring pain is not being a option, since society doesnt listen, destruction is literally the only way of victims can express their pain.
So; Villains can only express theirselves with destruction cause noone will listen to them. Heroes can do something but they wont cause they dont understand the suffering of victims in society.
Now, dont get me wrong. I love heroes cause i love the idea of saving someone but in bnha, heroes are really not heroes. All hero side is have is idea of hero, ieda of justice, they are in love with idea of heroes so much, they will ignore the victims who needs to be saved.
I dont necessarely think that they are bad or good people. When i analyzie someone, i only focus that person, not all at once. Not every heroes are same kind of person. I am sure that some of them are really good intentionally people, just like Deku but some heroes are really at fault and they intentionally ignoring things and make it worse.
The problem with hero side is not that they are evil but they are in pretty messed up system and they dont even try to change it cause they dont understand how much messed up it is. Some truly dont understand, some ignores, some use this for their selfish desires, with every way, its hard to root for them when they are supporting this messed up system while ignoring victims They dont even try to understand which is so frustrating, especialy as we readers know flaws but heroes ignores and they dont even make any effort :///.
And again, i love justice, heroes etc etc but i have no intention of ignoring what they are doing right now. Cause villains at least admit but heroes always justify it and call it as justice and thats so messed up.
Lets say; I truly believe that Deku is kind, good person (he is my favorite character with Shigaraki) but i also think that what Deku doing to Shigaraki right now is wrong cause its not that Deku cant understand or do something else. He can but he doesnt see Shigaraki as worth it cause he is villain and in hero society villains are meant be destroyed by heroes. But i want Deku to face and understand this why its wrong, one day.
The reason i mostly rooting for league, despite loving idea of heroes is because league, villains are pitifull. They are live in pretty unhealthy environment, they live with heavy mental illness, they are treated as monsters and i dont see what else they could do but hero side, they are at least live in healthy environment, they have lifes, happy moments and they can do something but they chose not to. And at least, the things league, villains did are changing things, challeging the system but heroes dont do anything. I also believe that we are meant to root for Shigaraki’s group too, especially this arc.
(Hope you understand me, i dont really hate heroes and i have different opinion for every characters, i dont just divide them as villains and heroes but right now, its exteremely hard to root for them, well, i hope they can get good character developments already.)
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part 4 - the dumbest po3 au
its been. nine. montsh im SO SORRY GUYS LMAO
for those of you who dont know what the dumbest po3 au is, click this link
for those of you who have not read the summaries for power of three, part 1 - part 2 - part 3
alright!!!!!!! dovewing time
the fourth apprentice
the book opens w/ ivykit and dovekit in the nursery. ivykit suggests going out to explore the territory and dovekit is like “wow. that sounds like a fantastic idea ivykit you are so smart"
whitewing says No Absolutely Not, and leaves at some point to go make dirt. they sneak out and not 5 minutes later they get lost. dovekit gets blames ivykit for suggesting it and they get into a fight.
they both get really mad & dovekit runs off. because shes like a stupid 2 year old gets distracted, rams her head into a rock and passes out. rip dovekit. she wakes up and sees a fox kit coming towards her. she screams.
her head hurts and shes tired and now shes going to die. out of nowhere a huge cat beats up the fox and scares it away. dovekit passes out (again)
when she wakes up, she is next to a cat messing with a bunch of weird plants. the cat sees that she woke up and introduces himself as littlecloud. he asks what her name is. “dove… dove…?? i dont know” says dovekit.
he asks her how she got there, and if she has any family. she does not remember. so littlecloud tells her she’s gonna have to stay here for the time being. he asks her if anything hurts, and dovekit says she thinks may have hit her head.
he gives her some of the weird plants and she goes back to sleep. when she wakes up her head has stopped hurting and she feels a lot better. she gets up to go walk around and is immediately introduced to the tawnyspawn.
tigerpaw is stupid and friendly (and hellbent on being her future best friend). dawnpaw is obnoxious and a bit (read: extremely) condescending but interested. flamepaw is nice and also the only one with half a braincell.
they take her around and introduce her to the rest of the clan. she sees blackstar and is like. “im pretty sure thats my dad” tigerpaw gasps. flamepaw and dawnpaw are like. “What.” “he saved me from the fox im pretty sure thats my dad,” says dovekit
they go harass blackstar. dovekit follows him around like a puppy and the tawnspawn follow her. he has this train of literal 2 yr olds trailing after him and is wildly unhappy about this development. russetfur is also definitely siccing the kids on him to make him mad.
dawnpaw gives dovekit a passionate speech about the clans, but mostly how evil riverclan kicked completely innocent shadowclan out of their home, and how shadowclan has to set everything right and deliver justice to those cringe fail fishheads, or something.
a few days later the tawnyspawn are off doing their own thing and dovekit goes to see whats going on. dawnpaw tries to shut tigerpaw up but he spills the beans anyways. “we’re going to attack riverclan on a Secret Mission so that we can win back shadowclan’s honor and become WARRIORS so you cant tell anybody”
dawnpaw sighs. “dovekit this is for Big Kids Only, so you cant be here.” flamepaw is trying to talk tigerpaw out of doing this in the bg but tigerpaw is being stubborn. dovekit is sad about it but goes back to sulk in camp (and to harass her new dad).
a few hours later tawnypelt runs over to blackstar and is like. “blackstar my children are missing nobody knows where they went”
"oh!! they went to go attack riverclan to get back shadowclan’s territory!” informs dovekit helpfully.
“what.” says blackstar, tawnypelt, and russetfur in unison. the sky immediately opens up and starts Pouring. tawnypelt freaks out. dovekit is like “why cant we just follow the sound of their voices??” but everyone ignores her bc they think shes just being stupid.
“Fine!! ill just go find them on my OWN” says dovekit, following them by the sound of their voices (theyre proally arguing over something stupid).
now four of shadowclan’s children are missing. “you brought that kid here so you get to deal with her,” says russetfur. blackstar sighs dramatically and goes off to find his new child.
dovekit runs into an old man cat. “whatre you doin here??” says old man cat. “im looking for my friends!! whats your name :0? im dovekit!!” “my names purdy!”
blackstar shows up and is like. who tf are you. “this is my new friend purdy!!!” says dovekit. blackstar doesnt even know how to respond. “look we’re going to go back to the camp right now and we’re not taking this dude with us.”
dovekit is like “??? no??? we have to get my friends theyre right over there??” she says pointing in their direction w/ her tail. blackstar is ready to cry. so blackstar and purdy follow dovekit as she leads them closer to riverclan territory where they hear the tawnyspawn screeching like banshees.
they run over and find several cats w/ the tawnyspawn who are pinned down. “if you breathe in my direction ill kill all three of these children,” says a snotty dude.
“who tf are you” says blackstar
“im darktail you insolent snot,” says darktail.
one of his cats grabs dovekit and blackstar snaps. he lunges at darktail while purdy beats up the dude who snatched dovekit. the tawnyspawn take advantage of the moment, escape, and dogpile the other cats. its a disaster.
darktail swears revenge on blackstar till his dying day or something. nobodys really paying attention to him at this point. he runs off w/ his crew. “alright then” says blackstar. this has been a really weird and long day for everyone. blackstar wants to leave purdy but all the children immediately start crying. they bring purdy home.
“holy crap!!! purdy!!!!!” says tawnypelt. “why are you here??” but then she sees her children. she and rowanclaw give them a very stern lecture about Not Running Off Without Telling Anyone (in which tawnypelt is a massive hypocrite but to be fair god told her to)
in the meanwhile, blackstar asks dovekit how tf she knew they were there. “i could hear them, Obviously. ???? cant u not???” blackstar just looks at her. dovekit realizes that probably not everyone shares this ability. blackstar shoos her off and calls a meeting w/ the senior warriors.
dovekit goes off to bother purdy for stories and play w/ the tawnyspawn. nothing particularly interesting happens. blackstar and russetfur call her over later and start assessing her abilities. its only slightly a disaster because shes wildly distracted 80% of the time and her powers are unwieldy bc shes a kit.
cue training. there is a lot of trial, error, and tears (on both sides) but it works out in the end (mostly).
time skip. its been a few months. dovekit becomes dovepaw and blackstar mentors her b/c of her powers. at this point shes gotten control of how to pick out numbers, locations, troops, etc. basically she is a living radar.
blackstar calls another meeting w/ the senior warriors and afterwards calls a clan meeting. “alright losers we’re going to take back our territory and kick riverclan’s butt”
they go over the clan w/ all the cats and begin the trek home. another time skip because that takes a while and nothing particularly interesting happens.
when they get back, the clan stays outside the border while blackstar has dovepaw do a sweep of the territory. she finds a patrol led by a black cat named reedwhisker. blackstar picks a patrol out and they go to ambush the riverclan patrol.
the shadowclan patrol takes reedwhisker + the patrol hostage, but lets one go to tell mistystar. mistystar takes a patrol and comes over. “if you dont give us back our territory i will kill your son” says blackstar. mistystar is like “bro. i dont even want your stupid crusty territory anyways. screw you.”
she takes her son and the rest of the patrol and leaves. another win for shadowclan, obviously. maybe they have a party idk. end of book.
fading echoes
cinderheart has not been doing well. she’s been doing really badly, actually. her best friend died and she blames herself. she’s still grieving and continually lashing out at everyone around her. poppyfrost and honeyfern attempted to be there for her but after the continual rebuffs they decided to just give her space.
unfortunately cinderheart. doesnt have any other friends in thunderclan, so the only person she can talk to is lionblaze. unfortunately theres only so much he can do from windclan, so mostly shes been just been going into a downward spiral.
ivypaw hasnt been doing great either. she feels extremely guilty because she thinks its her fault that dovekit ran away, and when dovekit is never found, it gets 50x worse.
but she also doesnt want to say anything about her involvement in fear of getting punished. as time goes on, she starts getting babied by the clan (almost like leopardstar when she was a kid) because her sister disappeared and she took it really hard.
and like on one hand, she likes the attention, but on the other hand its too much a lot of the time. she starts adopting this “stop babying me!1!1!!!”/kinda edgy persona. the clan takes it like shes grieving, and she’ll grow out of it, so they dont say too much.
so the book opens w/ ivypaw and fernpaw’s apprentice ceremony. brief context about how fern was recently found by the thunderclan border w/o parents and taken into the clan. fernsong is apprenticed to brightheart. ivypool is apprenticed to cinderheart.
firestar probably thinks that they might be able to bond/break through to each other because they recently lost a sister/adjacent sister. neither of them are particularly enthusiastic about it.
cinderheart isnt particularly invested in ivypaw’s training. ivypaw can tell and gets rightfully frustrated, bc brightheart and fernpaw are getting along great and making lots of progress, while ivypaw is falling behind becuase cinderheart is being a terrible mentor.
ivypaw starts fighting back (disobeying, talking back, etc.), partially because this is the only time she gets paid attention, and partially because shes just mad, which makes cinderheart mad, which then makes ivypaw fight back more. this causes cinderheart to become more and more distant. in short: ivypaw’s apprenticeship is a disaster.
at some point during training, theyre practicing climbing trees and cinderheart tells ivypaw to do something. to spite her, ivypaw does the opposite and ends up falling, dislocating her leg. cinderheart panics and cinderpelt emerges.
cinderpelt basically possesses cinderheart and relocates her arm. they go back to camp and take ivypaw to the medicine cat den, gives ivypaw some poppy seeds and ditches.
“wow um. wtf was that” says cinderheart. leafpool is like, “hahaha………… about that. you’re um… cinderpelt reincarnated.”
“what.” says cinderheart
“CINDERHEART IS CINDERPELT REINCARNATED???” screams foxleap at the top of his lungs in the middle of camp. whatever was left of cinderheart’s life shatters.
so now instead of ignoring her, the entire camp won’t leave her alone - except now they just treat her as they would cinderpelt. “hey cinderheart remember when [enter something that happened in the old forest here]??” “hey cinderheart can you fix my paw??” “hey cinderpelt-” “are you going to become a medicine cat then??”
to pour more salt into the wound, cinderheart now gets a free commentary on everything in her life!! (this definitely includes lionblaze) there used to be sort of a barrier between cinderheart/cinderpelt but since cinderpelt emerged/took control, it shattered.
so between cinderpelt complaining about all the terrible decisions she’s made and the entire clan pretending that she’s cinderpelt instead of a Completely Different Person, when hawkfrost shows up w/ an invite to fight club on the weekends cinderheart is more than happy to take him up.
sure hawkfrost is wildly annoying and clearly hates her guts for some reason (no matter how hard he pretends not to whenever tigerstar is around) but this is great for three reasons.
1) nobody in the dark forest has any idea she’s cinderpelt. 2) warrior training!! emphasizing she is a Warrior not a medicine cat. 3) time away from cinderpelt!! they arent the same soul so they cant read each other’s thoughts (unless theyre trying to communicate) and cant share dreams
so she might be purposely oblivious. whatever. she doesnt even know who hawkfrost is b/c anybody outside of riverclan immediately forgot about him because he really was not very effective at all. and its not like hes about to start spilling the beans until shes ready to be indoctrinated w/ dark forest propaganda.
meanwhile, tensions between shadowclan and thunderclan have been rapidly rising. again. prey is being stolen, scents are on other territories, patrols get into skirmishes often.
firestar is hurt because he was trying to get mistystar to lay off on the territory and blackstar is mad because they literally Just got back and thunderclan is ALREADY trying to reinstate old rivalries.
cinderheart really isnt paying attention to what’s going on cuz shes. more than a little wrapped up in her own problems. until it turns into a war.
this battle feels way more vicious than normal. cinderheart tries to recall how this whole thing started and realizes she has absolutely no idea what tf is going on???
throughout the fight she notices weird stuff happening. mousewhisker and redwillow nod to each other. ratscar + blossomfall swap glances. applefur pulls snowbird off thornclaw’s back. literally wtf thinks cinderheart
and then russetfur takes a stab at firestar. out of nowhere, thornclaw goes for her throat. cinderheart barely saves russetfur in the nick of time - the injuries are bad enough that she is forced to retire.
“screw literally everyone in thunderclan except u” blackstar says pointing @ cinderheart “and i hope the rest of you rot in the dark forest.” he rounds the rest of shadowclan up and then leaves.
“well that was weird” says cinderheart. she goes off to find ivypaw and realizes that shes. not responding. oh thats a lot of blood-
cinderpelt pops up again and works w/ cinderheart to patch up ivypaw until she’s stable. they bring her into the medicine den together and let leafpool look her over. she says that they made it in time and ivypaw will live. she leaves to go look after the other patients, leaving cinderheart with her apprentice
cinderheart realizes that this is her fault. had she actually paid attention to ivypaw and given her proper training, this wouldn’t have happened. she resolves to try a lot harder to be a good mentor for ivypaw’s sake.
cinderpelt approves and apologizes for being so intrusive on cinderheart’s life. she really doesnt want to be in here either - this was a decision the idiots in starclan forced on her. she was taking it out on cinderheart, which wasn’t fair for her.
cinderpelt promises to try to give cinderheart as much privacy as she can (while trying to figure out how to get out of her brain). cinderheart thanks her. there’s a brief bonding moment.
cinderpelt says that since ivypaw seems stable she’s going to go to sleep now, since she exhausted herself earlier.
just as cinderpelt goes out to the back of cinderheart’s mind, blossomfall comes storming in about how cinderheart messed the plan up and how cinderheart screwed everything up for everyone & she’s a traitor to the cause, Honestly cinderheart you’re so useless-
“literally wtf are you talking about” says cinderheart
“you saved russetfur,” blossomfall says. “if we take out the leaders and deputies, we can destabilize the clans enough that taking over will be a piece of cake. are you a dark forest trainee or not, cinderheart?”
end of book
#warrior cats#wc#warriors#dovewing#ivypool#blackstar#russetfur#tawnypelt#dawnpelt#flametail#tigerheart#darktail#cinderheart#leafpool#cinderpelt#blossomfall#hawkfrost#omen of the stars#the fourth apprentice#fading echoes#the dumbest po3 au#mod xbloodywhalex
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Tonight me and my friend said bye bc it's summer and she wont be able to talk to me anymore since school ended and the only way we were able to contact each other were through emails when school was in session bc her parents are very abusive. Fuck. I know I'm gonna talk to her after summer but that's a really long time. I know she doesnt depend on me to keep her confidence up but I left for 5 days and she started believing the terrible shit they say about her 1/2
2/2 and I jsut cant imagine all that they're gonna do and say to her over two months. I feel so powerless sand I dont mean to make this about me bc it's her who is in such a shitty situation but I cant do anything to stop them from making her feel that way she does. I want to consentually kidnap her and hide her in my room forever. I fuckign hate her parents so much. She believes all of the bullshit they tell her and she cant see how much of an amazing person she is 2/3
3/3 how can a person treat another person so amazing and outstanding like her the way they do? I cant believe its gonna be over 2 months until I get to talk to her again. So many things can happen. Again I dont mean to make this all about me and I'm sorry that that's what I'm doing but I really need to rant. And all the shit they put her through she tries to justify it because they love her. But they dont. They're doing what they're doing for their own selfish reason 3/4
4/4 and I wish I could make her see that. She knows what her parents are doing is wrong but i dont think she has a full grasp on that yknow. If i ever see her parents i swear I'm gonna fuckign deck them both when she's safe. And i dont blame her btw. Her parents are manipulative shits and it isnt her fault that she gives in to what they're saying but it's not right. And all of this bc shes bi. They were abusive before but now it's so much worse 4/5
5/5 and people try and justify abuse by saying homosexuality is wrong as if this isnt happening to an actual fuckign person (I knwo abuse isnt just happening to queers but it is in this situation). Shes liek a literal prisoner there. She has to be with someone at all times of the day and she isnt allowed in her room. The only she allowed to be alone is the bathroom and changing. I honestly dont know how shes gonna survive (sorry I'm writing a lot) 5/6
6/6 she said she wont commit suicide and I trust her but I cant entirely rule it out so if she makes it through these two months without human contact except for her abusive parents and her passive siblings who just dont care then I think she's going to be so broken the next time I get to talk to her. I mean jsut hearing the things they say to her over and over again for months and not having anybody you can talk to who shares the opposite opinion then she's gonna believe it.
7/7 (last one sorry) and it seems like nobody on this piece of shit earth cares at all. Nobody seems to realize that this is happening to fuckign kids?? Who are supposed to be happy and do stupid stuff without fearing for your safety (not that her dating a girl or being bi is stupid but if they spot even the tiniest imperfect they make her seem like shes a worthless misbehaving shit even tho shes the complete opposite). Nobody cares that this is an actual human person and it fucking sucks
Hi Anon,
No apologies necessary, it’s clear you really care about your friend. And you’re absolutely correct, it’s not right what they’re doing to her no matter what her orientation is.
If computers are out, it might be time to go analogue. See if you can write her letters, and send them to her house, or if her parents wouldn’t like that either, send them to a friendly neighbor’s house for her to pick up when she can. If you’ve been to her house before, you might be able to look up the address by recalling the route and finding the house on google maps.
If you get the address, you can have anything sent over there. You might not know if letters or packages ever reached her until school starts back up, so if you end up sending anything, understand that you’re basically sending it into the ether.
Do her parents have a house phone? Even if they monitor her calls, you would at least be able to hear how she’s doing in general. Phone books like the Yellow Pages keep lists of everyone with a landline, unless they select to be private.
Depending on what level of abuse you know for sure has happened, you might be able to call Child Protective Services on her parents (or your country’s equivalent if you’re outside the U.S.). Use this tool with caution: if the situation isn’t bad enough for her to be immediately taken out of the house, then she would have to stay with parents who knew someone had called CPS. CPS investigates every report they get and often send a social worker to the house to verify if any reports are true. If they found evidence of abuse, they could potentially remove her from the home, although that is typically only in very extreme cases.
If none of those routes are possible, all you can be is wait and be ready for when she comes back. You can look up things that help abuse survivors so you’re ready but, ultimately, her health and safety is not your responsibility. You are not responsible if something happens to her. It won’t be your job to help her recover if she does come back in a bad mindset. Only give what you feel comfortable giving of yourself, and remember to take care of yourself, too. Your friend is very lucky to have someone like you looking out for her.
Good luck.
-Miss Fay
#abuse mention#mental abuse#mental health#family#parents#relationships#bisexual#siblings#cursing tw#homophobia#biphobia#child protective services
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ok actually u know wat !!! fuck this bruh!! >:( im angy now!
i am worth so much !! i am so good!! and its fucking bullshit that i am often not treated like it!!!!! why must i suffer at the hands of people that cant fucking handle their own shit!!! why do i have to get an abusive family AGAIN?? we already DID this when i was a kid why are we doing it again??? yall ever stump ur fuckin therapists?? like they literally are just like. yeah dude your situation fucking sucks. i cant help, i cant point you to the bright side, it just fucking sucks. that’s literally where i’m at and it’s the worst it’s ever been!!!
click to read some hate mail to one of my many abusers lol
like if u read this shit bc i Need some sort of validation
fuck dude. im sending this energy to my abusive piece of shit older brother specifically. not the good one, the failure one, the one that can make you look bad just by associating with him: you see me, 13 years younger than you, having lived a harder life, and still come out better and you’re Mad! you’re mad that i didn’t become a piece of shit like you. you’re mad that i’ve legitimately had it worse and i was strong enough to get through it! because i am living walking proof that your life is YOUR fault. abusing your ex to the point that she gets a restraining order and moves away with your kid was YOUR fault. wasting away your 20s because you were too busy flirting with girls closer to my age than yours was YOUR fault. the fact that you cannot keep a job because of whatever the fuck is YOUR fault. you look at me, 20 years old, and in a better place than you at 33.
this whole time, ever since your life started spiraling out of control, you have blamed everyone else because you are convinced it couldnt be your fault. you look at yourself and you think “this couldn’t be helped, i was dealt such a bad hand in life that this is the best i can make of it” and that’s how you’ve been keeping yourself afloat. you lie to yourself by convincing yourself that there is nothing you can do about your situation, so instead you wallow in self pity and cry about how awful the world is.
and my existence shattered that illusion for you! i’ve overcome more shit than you’ve ever had to face and i’m not a piece of shit wreck like you. in fact, my future is brighter than yours ever has been. my very EXISTENCE is forcing you to come to terms with the fact that you are making yourself worse. i am PROOF that someone can suffer and come back from it. i am PROOF that you can go through some shitty ass childhood trauma and still be a good person!! and i am PROOF that you were too weak to do that, and instead chose to become this toxic waste that nobody, not even your own family, likes.
you try to RATIONALIZE by using trauma as an excuse, you try to PROJECT onto me by claiming that it was somehow MY fault that i was abused by my family (i was 4???), you use REGRESSION nearly every day to convince yourself you’re worth something, and when none of that fucking works because you see that i’m thriving, you end up DISPLACING those feelings by targeting me cause you think i’m an “easy target.” since you’re so set on sucking freud’s dick, maybe this will make sense to you.
so no, my trauma did not make me stronger, i made MYSELF stronger and you obviously did not!! trauma is not an excuse to just become a shitty person, and if you try to use it as one, it is an admission that you are weak as shit!!!! not to be one of those “someone always has it worse” motherfuckers, but if your life has been SO so hard, why am i not ALSO a piece of shit? i’ve never assaulted anyone. i’ve never abused children. i don’t gaslight others, i don’t threaten suicide if someone upsets me, i don’t threaten to kill people’s pets, i don’t do any of that shit. so why do YOU do that?? its bc you’re a weak piece of shit who cannot deal with your own problems like an ADULT.
you only tell me that i’m “not ready” and “too weak” for the real world because you know that’s what you are, and you can’t handle the fact that i’m, uh, better than you. the ONLY way you know how to cope is by telling yourself that i’m somehow worse. your shitty defense mechanisms are hanging by that single thread. yes, the world is a shitty place, congrats you have eyes <3 would you like a cookie? i KNOW how bad the world is. i’ve seen some of the worse shit first hand. i know the horrors of the real world better than you. this fucking world is awful. this isn’t a revelation, this is nothing new, especially not to ME. you’ve been hit with the reality that it’s hard to exist in this world because it’s cruel, and uncaring, and cold. and you decided it was too much to handle and you gave up. giving up and becoming an abusive, negative, draining waste of space is the EASY way out. it is SO easy to say “fuck it, i’ll just take this out on everyone else” that is literally the easiest thing to do when you’re hurt or mad. the HARD thing to do is to look at all the bad shit in the world and tell yourself that you are going to CHANGE that and make it better. when you get hit, it’s easier to lay on the ground than to get back up, and you are laying on the fucking ground, sir!! i got back up and i am THRIVING!! you are a weak piece of shit! you are a weak, sad, sorry excuse for a human.
my oldest brother loves you, my dad loves you, not because you deserve it, but because they are gracious, caring people (and honestly they should be able to count this as charity). you make up some bullshit excuse, saying you abuse me and mistreat me because you’re trying to “prepare me for the real world” and then you tell me i’m too weak when i get mad about being ABUSED??? you know that’s bullshit. you KNOW i’m strong enough because i’m stronger than YOU ARE. you’re just trying to make an excuse to hurt me because you are making a lame attempt to bring me down to your level.
by the way, i AM good at psychology, bitch !! fuck off and die.
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discord text/facetime call || aaroman
Discord thread featuring: Aaron and & @romanbeckett
When: August 26th, 2020 - August 27, 2020
Mentions: @alison-haynes @luca-regio
Description: Roman and Aaron talk about Alison’s conversations with both Aaron and Roman
TW: aaron may or may not call alison a bitch, crying, angry!aaron
Roman.
Does Ali not want Des staying the night with me I guess?
And I love you too
Aaron.
sigh
I don’t know what her deal is
I think she’s been having issues with luca and she’s just being irrational
I’ll text her
Roman.
No it's fine
Aaron.
it’s not
Roman.
It is. If that's what she wants, then that's fine.
Aaron.
it’s not what I want. And she’s 50% me so
she doesn’t get the final say
Roman.
I don't want to cause any issues
She said I can see her a few hours
Aaron.
you’re not causing any issues
Roman.
Just let it be, it's okay. Ali has enough stress going on, we all do. I don't want to upset her
Aaron.
no. It’s fine.
Roman.
bleh
Aaron.
she’s fine. Just being dramatic. Don’t worry about it
Roman.
okay
Aaron.
just um
I may have told her that we got back together right away
just got with it
Roman.
Okay
Aaron.
Alison is blaming me for all of her relationship problems with Luca
Roman.
Of course she is
Aaron.
she’s being so damn petty
I’m in rehab and she’s picking a fight
Roman.
I wish I knew how to help
Aaron.
we’re just going around in circles and I don’t know what to do
I’m honestly so hurt
today sucked. This is the last thing I need
Roman.
I shouldn't have said anything I'm so sorry
Aaron.
it needed to be said anyway
I just don’t know what to do
I’m so pissed of
Roman.
Don't worry about it. I'm just going to back off, and I'll see you Sunday.
Aaron.
Roman
no
I want to see you and Des on her birthday
Roman.
are you sure?
Ugh. Not how I wanted to end my trip. But anyway.
I have to be on at the airport in a couple hours.
Roman.
I love you, but I’ve talked with Alison, and I’m not going to come up Friday. Out of respect for her, and her being uncomfortable, I’m going to step back a bit.
Aaron.
wait
what
WHAT DID SHE SAY
Roman.
she just told me how she’s feeling and I understand. I came on too strong and I’m not Des’ parent. I shouldn’t be acting like I am.
Aaron.
oh my god
what the fuck
oh my god I’m so mad
Roman. Are you okay
Roman.
don’t be mad. She didn’t say those words directly like that, it’s just my perspective.
it’s okay.
Aaron.
what exactly did she say
im sure her words were a lot harsher
Roman.
she’s just scared of losing you both
she needs time to process all this change.
Aaron.
wtf is that supposed to mean
Roman.
I feel weird sharing exactly what she said
Aaron.
she's the one dating a fucking criminal
im so livid
Roman.
just don’t tell her I’m sending this
“Roman: “I know you love Des, and I appreciate everything you do for her. But at the end of the day, Aaron and I will always be her parents. And maybe one day, maybe you will end up being her step parent, but none of us can see the future. So we don’t know if that is what will happen. But right now, you’re not her parent. For a long time, it has always been Aaron, Des and I. That’s it. And things are changing really fast. I mean now there is you and Luca and the baby. I can only handle so many changes at once. And right now, I’m not ready for Destiny to have a “third parent”. I really do appreciate you and all you do for her, and she adores you. I’m sorry, I probably sound like the biggest asshole in the book right now. But half the time I already feel like I’m losing Aaron, I can’t lose Des too.”
Aaron.
oh my god
she did not say that to you
Roman.
it’s fine Aaron
Aaron.
it's far from fine
Roman.
I’ll just see you Sunday, and then come visit one day next week.
Aaron.
Roman,
im so upset i cant even tell you
Roman.
don’t be upset okay? Just focus on what you’re doing there, and it’ll all be okay. I’m fine. It’s okay.
I got ahead of myself because I love des so much.
Aaron.
you're not ahead, Ali is behind
Roman.
but she’s right, I’m not her parent. Maybe one day I will be, but I’m not right now.
Aaron.
but you love her like one
Roman.
I do, and that won’t change.
I can wait.
Aaron.
im so upset roman i cant even tell you
im so sorry
this is all my fault
Roman.
no it’s not
I knew Alison was uncomfortable with me being so involved from the beginning, and I did it anyway
Aaron.
bc it's irrational as fuck
Roman.
Aaron it’s not. I mean, maybe I feel a little bad that she feels this way about me, and not Luca, but she doesn’t know me as well as she wants to yet. Idk, I’m trying to understand here. I just don’t want you two to fight over me.
Aaron.
that's what im saying. she's being such a fucking hypocrite
Luca's a fucking criminal
and he gets to spend the whole day with my daughter
she thinks because she's having his baby that that someone invalidates that we've actually been together more than luca and alison have
Roman.
she must see something in him we haven’t been able to yet.
Aaron.
fuck that.
she's being such a bitch
Roman.
don’t say that
Aaron.
am i wrong
Roman.
I don’t think she has ill intentions here. She’s just a little blinded right now.
Aaron.
she's so stubborn
she always thinks she right
im so damn sick of it, i've let it slide for so many years
and i know she thinks she's a better parent than me
Roman.
Aaron no she doesn’t, come on.
Aaron.
she’d never admit it but she does
look at her now. Thinking she knows what’s best for Des and not taking what I have to say into consideration
Roman.
she’s just upset right now, maybe she’ll be thinking clearer tomorrow.
Aaron.
if I wasnt locked you this wouldn’t be flying
* up
Roman.
it’s okay.
Aaron.
it’s literally not
Roman.
listen to me. I need you to breathe. Relax for a minute. I’m okay, we’re okay. Everything is okay, and will continue to be okay.
Aaron.
I know you are more upset than you’re letting on
Roman.
I’m upset, but it is what it is right now. Im on my way to the airport and I can’t let myself get too worked up about it at the moment. I just have faith it’ll all work out.
Aaron.
Roman.
I just
I don’t know
I don’t want to get you any more upset before getting on your flight
Roman.
why? Did something else happen?August 27, 2020
Aaron.
no I just still want to go off about this
bc it’s bullshit but I’ll stop
for now
Roman.
Aaron nothing is going to get solved with anger though
Aaron.
not now
Roman.
what?
Aaron.
if I were in New York this would be different
Roman.
maybe it’s good that you’re not. Everyone needs to calm down.
Aaron.
I feel like I can’t breathe
Roman.
Aaron.
Facetime calls Aaron and waits for him to pick up while sitting outside the airport
Aaron.
answers “I’m fine. I’m fine.”
Roman.
“I needed to see you to determine that for myself.” blinks, and then takes in a ragged breath while running a hand over his face
Aaron.
clears his throat and wipes his puffy eyes, takes a deep breath “I’m fine.”
Roman.
“You’re clearly not fine. Babe...” looks over the screen, and sighs “You’ve been crying. Please don’t cry...it’s going to be okay. I promise you.”
Aaron.
just tries not to break down in front of Roman because he knows he’s having a hard time with this news. Takes a deep breath “This is so fucked.”
𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.
“Baby.” looks over screen with concerned expression, wishing more than anything he wasn’t so far away. “Aaron. Listen to me. Alison is going through a lot of stress, she will come around. What’s important right now is that you focus on your recovery, and I will take care of the rest. Alison and I will work this out. You two are too sensitive right now to come to an intelligent conclusion right now. And then on down the line, everything will work itself out between you two as well, between all of us.”
Aaron.
“I’m just...” aaron hangs his head and covers his face with his free hand, taking slow, shaky breaths “I can’t lose either of you. Oh my god...” he attempts to steady his breath again “I know the intelligent conclusion. She’s being irrational.”
Roman.
if Roman could climb through the screen right now, he would. “Aaron, you’re not going to lose anyone. Ali isn’t going anywhere, and neither am I. We’re all going to work on this together. look at me.” he tilts his head, and sucks both lips into his mouth, trying not to cry. “Everyone gets irrational sometimes. Ali is a good person, and she’s not dumb. She’ll come around, and we’ll find a solution that works for everyone.”
Aaron.
takes a deep breath in another attempt to steady his shaky breath. He sniffles, rubs his eyes then Finally looks back at camera at his man “Okay”. he looks at Ro and prays he doesn’t start crying “I just don’t know...and Roman told was just awful. I haven’t been this depressed since my dad died. It’s so hard here. And I want a drink so damn bad. And Ali just... unable to hide his tears, he lets a few tears fall “made this so much worse.”
Roman.
looks worried, eyes darting back and forth as he tries to think of how to fix this situation. “Do I need to come get you? Is there anyone you can talk to right now?”
Aaron.
puts his head between his knees and lets out a few more sobs, looks back up into the camera yeah — I...no you don’t have to come get me... not yeah. But yeah...I can go outside and talk with a counselor now.” he looks towards the door
Roman.
nods, and tries to keep himself together just like he had all night, knowing what Aaron really needed right now was stability. “Okay baby. Go talk to a counselor, and then text me. I don’t board for another couple hours. Okay? I love you.”
Aaron.
sighs, thinks about how grateful he is for Roman “thank you. I love you, too. I’ll text you when I’m done. I’m sorry.”
August 27 - 2am EST
Roman.
hope you’re okay. I’m boarding my plane.
Aaron.
yeah
she talked to me for a while hour
Roman.
are you feeling any better?
Aaron.
a little
I’m just exhausted now
have a safe flight babe.
Roman.
okay. I’ll let you get some rest then.
Aaron.
I hope you sleep on the plane
are you okay
Roman.
as long as you are.
Aaron.
I’m not. But I’m fine for now.
Roman.
okay
well try and get some sleep then.
I love you.
Aaron.
I love you
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SG1
Season 2 episode 9
🚨trigger warning: mentions of rape in my notes🚨
"SECRETS"
Notes by me
- the chief from abydos! Also daniels father in law :)
- no glasses!Daniel in this scene
- I love how dedicated Daniel is to his space family and their culture😌 like this random Egyptian planet was like I'm gonna keep you! And he said okie dokie
- "I couldnt possibly be safer than in the company of tealc" AKDEOSNDJSJSSKA
- Jack wants to go back too lol
- Daniel back in his robes 💕
- back home for daniel! To abydos!
- Bodyguard!tealc
- apologizing to sha'res dad for not being able to find her yet 😟 its not your fault babe!
- SHA'RE??? YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK
- tealc:
- shes pregnant and that is....really bad. If its one of the goaulds that raped her. This got dark real quick
- "husband!" "My daniel" I CANT HANDLE THIS IM ALREADY GOING INSANE
- he doesnt want to bring his hopes up that its actually her 😭
- hes shocked but like.....i would be too
- I was right its apophis kid :\ this so fucked up
- Host Baby??? Big Yikes
- okay I'm gonna say this right fucking now before i watch any more. If Daniel blames her and gets mad at her for being raped and getting pregnant WITHOUT her consent than i will personally come thru this screen and slap the fuck out of him
- meanwhile! Jack and Sam bonding time!
- SAMS DAD
- sha're thinking Daniel wont love her anymore :( she better be wrong or I'm throwing hands
- she said the goauld is Amunet? Is that the dog goddess? Or the crocodile? I'm getting my Egyptian gods mixed up
- Daniel sitting outside to Process™
- "hasnt she gone thru enough?" My brain stopped working I'm so happy hes not not blaming her. Writers for once youre doing something right
- man hes really emotional about this
- tealcs right they need to take her anyway for her own safety.
- do u think he sympathizes with her bc hes been raped too? Its not said but I feel like thats what it is. He knows it wasnt her fault. And that also means they can comfort each other about what happened to them😟bc they understand
- okay why is sams dad being a total dill hole
- "Ive heard nothing about you, sir." Jack youre not off to a great first impression
- Jack making sam smile with sly jokes
- her dad knows she be lyin about her job
- he wants her to go to space HAHA if only he knew. His tiny brain would explode
- Daniel said he loves her no matter what and then gave her a big hug im LOSING MY MIND
- are we keeping the baby??? Am I gonna see Dad!Daniel and mom!sha're ??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
- micheal shanks eyes are super blue in this episode for my viewing pleasure only
- protective!Daniel 😍
- I'm just remembering how they met and when she showed him the forbidden drawings in the caves and they spent days together just sharing knowledge. When he found out they were married(in her culture) and just completely accepted it. When he saved her bc he realised he was in love. When he stayed on abydos so that he could live a full life with her and her people because he felt like he belonged. I'm fine
- parents need to ask before they set up things like job interviews. I have personal experience with this and im full of rage
- this reporter literally having a recording of Jack talking about the stargate and Jack flatly denying it. Zero fucks given
- Daniel saying he wont force sha're into anything. Bc up to this point shes been forced into so much!! He knows he needs to let her make her own choices!!! He gets it!!!
- im sorry both Daniel and sha're are so pretty in his episode. My bisexual brain is just having a real good time looking👀
- I REALLY really love it when she calls him "my dan-yel" ❤❤❤
- the SGC has a mole???
- LABOR somebody boil water
- oh its my goauld mans with the sick earrings
- Daniel helping her give birth. Sitting behind her and helping her breathe. I'm love
- "this is where we hid from Ra remember?" Ajdjsisnana thats such a cool detail
- he'll never leave her again there goes my heart
- "It's O'Neill. With two L's. Theres another colonel O'Neil, but he has no sense of humor at all."
- dont you hate when youre about to uncover a huge government secret and then immediately get hit by a car
- shooting the zat gun into the camera was a cool directing choice 🔥
- sam: so I'm getting a medal for my service this week! Cool right?
Jacob Carter: I have cancer
- he could not have been any more blunt
- ok dude cant you just accept the fact that she cant tell you what her job? Dont you know what top secret means? Cant you just be proud of her for what she does already???? Dick
- "I will always love you!!"
- she is scared she will lose Daniel and the baby :(
- its a boy! 💙💙
- the goauld is back in control oh god Daniel run
- shes actually pretty scary as a goauld
- yeah ok shoot the woman who just gave birth tealc YEESH
- that was a good idea to frame Heru'hur tho
- Daniel hesitating to leave her again. My heart is breaking 😢
- they saved the baby at least
- poor sha're didnt even get to see her son 😔
- bringing the baby back to the grandfather was a good idea😊
- this baby is SO SO cute
- is Daniel a stepdad now. Is he gonna come back and play catch with the kid when hes older. Is he gonna fully adopt him. I want him to fully adopt him
- Jack blaming himself for the reporters death. You gotta stop doing this to yourself man
- black shirt Daniel 👀👀👀👀
- HAHA tealc shoving the jaffa into the vortex lmaooo
- "you dare challenge me?"
"I was thinking about it"
- WHEN JACK GRABS HIS KNIFE REAL QUICK AND SPEARS IT INTO APPOPHIS HAND
- she definitely saw them and didnt say anything
- "are you alright?"
"No. No im not.........but I will be."
"She looked directly at us, Daniel jackson. And yet she did not reveal our position." YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADS. Theres still hope for my girl. She can fight this I believe in her ✊😤
- I will say it again tho. This storyline for her is very fucked up. No excuses, its just a bit over used in sci fi for the women characters to have surprise pregnancies.
~
Whump under the cut
Tealc whump: fought with jaffa
Daniel jackson whump: shocked, emotional, crying, forced kneeling, back handed
Sam carter whump: emotional , crying
🎶listening to You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis 🎶 in honor of Daniel and sha're making me lose my collective mind
No glasses!Daniel for most of the episode
#stargate season 2#no glasses!daniel#bodyguard!tealc#tw rape#tealc whump season 2#daniel whump season 2#sam whump season 2
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Hetaween, day 3. End of the world.
(Rewriten bc FUCKING TUMBLR ERASED IT.) (And yeah, the original was in English too. I almost left the fucking world.)
Gilbert grabbed his bag, putting some clothes inside, then he closed the zipper, trying to make as little noise as possible. A sound came from the door, making him jump in his place. He stayed there for a second, until the door opened and Ludwig entered.
"We have to go." He whispered, the reason being probably the lack of strength in his body and the little amount of air in his lungs. Even with that, he held himself against the door. Gil felt pity.
Since the humans found out about their existence, things had changed. Entirely. They were, suddenly, the beasts. If there was a problem in the world, it was their fault.
No one knew when or how, but there was some people who knew. Two guys and a penny. No one really paid attention to them. At that moment, everything was... Safe. And then, things started to change when they began to blame them. They were guilty of every problem. If there was poverty, it was their fault, if war was rising, it was them, if anything happened, they were guilty of it. And with that mentality, two guys and a penny transformed into a whole country, who was putting pressure in the government to stop hiding them.
And, on the other side, the countries were paranoid. The strongest ones constantly putting pressure on the bosses too, and the weakest ones at their side. Everything was hectic, and everyone was waiting for the bomb to explode. And suddenly, it did it. Germany's boss, tired of the pressure, told the mob the direction of their country's house, just when he was asleep. And even though Ludwig was strong, he couldn't stop an entire country. At the end, hopefully, Gilbert was out of the house at that moment, and the cameras showed him what happened, but even at that moment, even if he saved his life, he couldn't save him from the wounds. A broken leg, and a head bleeding. Sooner or later, they would notice— the wounds weren't healing. Maybe they were too severe, maybe it was the fact that his country was suddenly against him, but Ludwig was, suddenly, half blind -his contacts and glasses forgotten in his house- unable to walk, in constant pain and therefore, constantly drugged with pain killers, and, as the cherry on top, constantly bleeding from his head.
They ran away from Germany, but the anti-representation movement was growing quickly, and it would definitely catch them sometime.
"I'm tired. I want to sleep." Whispered Ludwig, carefully giving his back to Gilbert, leaving his splinted leg under his good leg.
"Yeah, sure. Try to sleep. I'll be here."
Even though it was soon to sleep yet, it was better to do it now, considering they had just been able to eat a little bit. And sleeping with something in your stomach was always better than sleeping while hungry, so, here they were, trying to catch at least two or three hours. Gilbert hugged him from behind, feeling him cold. He was always cold, no matter how much sun he took, and he tried, as always, to give him some heat, and as always, it didn't worked. He heard a little sniff, a little whimper, and he bit his lip, feeling the world run, feeling his life spin. No matter how much he tried, he was always unable to control it. That was probably the worst part. He found, then, tears in his eyes too.
"I'm sorry." Germany mumbled, grabbing the cloth under his body, almost ripping it. "I'm sorry, Gil. I'm such a nuisance right now. I can't move, I can't shot, I can't even think straight." And Prussia hugged him even harder, because things were difficult. It was difficult to find double the amount of medical stuff, it was difficult to serve as a psychological support, it was difficult to cope with hunger, and on top of that, it was difficult to keep believing. Believing in something better, something that would bring them peace.
Everything was difficult, and yes, dealing with himself and another person, in those circumstances, was even more.
Even with that, he forced those thoughts out of his mind, trying to give him comfort.
It didn't worked.
Another morning, they were walking through some jungle in some point of Germany, and suddenly, they were trapped by a lot of men with weapons. Everyone almost felt their soul leaving his body when bullets started to fly. The countries grabbed their weapons too, and bullets rained, literally.
"Keep your head down! Down!" Screamed Gilbert, putting his hand on Ludwig's head. Even with that, Ludwig was not dumb, he knew they were going to run out of ammunition quickly, so, he grabbed a shotgun and slid, behind the humans. They were not expecting someone shooting them from the back, he just needed a good hiding point. Slowly, he crawled into the bushes, pulling the trigger against the first one. He fell, after screaming, and the humans turned on their back, unable to see him yet. And then, he kept shooting, bringing them down one by one.
"You must be kidding me." Gilbert said, smiling widely, after seeing him stand up again. He came closer, hugging him, and suddenly-
Boom.
Ludwig felt life abandoning his body. His arms held Gilbert tight, both of them looking at each other, not really knowing what happened. And then they fell on their knees. And Ludwig looked down.
"No..." He whispered, making pressure on Gilbert's stomach, blood pooling from the bullet inside. "Wait no, no no!" And his eyes started to water. "Help! Kiku, help! Please!"
Gilbert smiled slightly, closing his eyes, slowly rubbing his little brother's hair.
"It's okay, West." He whispered, putting his hand in the wound. "You're an intelligent boy. You know I can't survive this unless I get surgery, and you know we're in the middle of a jungle, and it can and probably will get infected." Ludwig closed his eyes, pressing his head against his chest, tightly.
"I'm sorry, East..." Whispered Ludwig, touching Prussia's face. "It was my fault."
"No, little one. You saved us. Don't blame yourself." Gilbert started to feel sleepy. Slowly, he hugged Ludwig, kissing his forehead. "You're not a nuisance, so don't worry about it. Whatever happens, I have your back, and if you don't believe in anything, believe in me, because I'll be there with you." He took deep breaths at that moment, running out of air. "No matter where mein kleine bruder... Even at the end of the world, I'll be there with you..."
And his eyes closed, slowly.
"Ludwig! We have to go! Now!" Screamed Russia, grabbing his arm. "More humans are coming!"
But he wasn't going to leave anyone behind. Not anymore.
He grabbed an automatic left behind, and he looked up, standing as if his leg was completely fine.
"Back off." He said, grabbing a cartridge belt. "They think they can win against me? Oh well, they are lacking two wars and two hundred years. What a pity."
And the first one, as soon as he appeared, fell. The same with the second, and everyone else. It was an unstoppable force, and even the countries were impressed. Was that person right there, the same one who was almost unable to walk three seconds ago?
"Let's go." They heard, looking at the front and finding every human either dead or almost dead. Ludwig held the body between his arms.
Then, they started walking in painful silence, only interrupted by a cry or two.
«Even at the end of the world, I'll be there with you.»
"But for me..." Whispered Ludwig. "We're at the end of the world because you're not by my side anymore."
----
If there is any mistake, please don't kill me :'v
Now. Onto the discourse.
This is made to be slightly ambiguous. You can say they are just brothers and they rely a lot on each other, it's understandable and acceptable. You can say they are more than that, and it's understandable and acceptable too. I don't want to hear anything about anymore discussing with each other because "but they are brothers and they cant do this" and "They can if they want to also look at them" This is just made to entertain. Chill? Chill.
#hetalia#hetaween#hetaween 19/20#aph prussia#aph germany#hws prussia#hws germany#smol writes#smol escribe
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