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#and you always add commentary to every piece!

heesdreamer · 1 year

Text

YOU MAKE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles

WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)

WC ➩ 17k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)

Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.

When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.

She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.

When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.

Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.

You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.

It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.

Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.

Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.

You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.

You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.

Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.

Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.

Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.

You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.

A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.

You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.

“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.

“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.

He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.

The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.

“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.

“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.

“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.

“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”

You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.

“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.

“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”

This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.

You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.

“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”

“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”

——

You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.

When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.

The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.

Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.

“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”

You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.

“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.

“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”

“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.

He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.

You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.

Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.

He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.

Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.

“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.

“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.

He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.

You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.

“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”

It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.

You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.

The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.

“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.

“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”

You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.

Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.

“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.

It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.

You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.

At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.

Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.

You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.

“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.

“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.

“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.

“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.

“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”

The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.

“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.

“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”

“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.

“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.

You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.

“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”

He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.

“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.

“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.

He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.

The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.

You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.

You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.

“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.

He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”

The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.

You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.

You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.

When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.

It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.

“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.

“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”

“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”

His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.

You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.

“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.

You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.

He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.

It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”

You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.

You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.

It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.

It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.

——

The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.

Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.

Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.

It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.

Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.

Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.

Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.

You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.

You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.

The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.

It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.

He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.

He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.

It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.

You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.

“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.

“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”

“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.

“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.

His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.

“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”

“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”

“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.

“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.

You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.

When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.

You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.

It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.

——

“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.

“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”

“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.

You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.

Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.

For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.

He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.

“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.

You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”

He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.

You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.

“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.

You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.

“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.

His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.

——

You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.

You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.

Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.

He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.

Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.

The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.

When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.

You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.

Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.

“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.

You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.

You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.

He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.

It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.

Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.

“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.

“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.

He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.

“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”

“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.

Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.

He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.

You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”

The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.

“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.

“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.

“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”

He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.

“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”

You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.

“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.

“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”

“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.

Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.

His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.

He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.

“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”

“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.

“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.

“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.

His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.

“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.

He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.

You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.

He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.

“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.

“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.

“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”

“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.

“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.

Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.

You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.

You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.

“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.

Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.

“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”

“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.

A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.

He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.

Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.

“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”

With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.

When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.

You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.

The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.

You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.

You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.

But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.

Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.

You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.

You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.

“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”

You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.

“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.

“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.

He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.

“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.

You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.

It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.

You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.

When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.

Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.

“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.

Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.

“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.

You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.

“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.

“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.

“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.

You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.

“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.

“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”

You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.

“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.

He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.

“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”

He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.

He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.

Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.

“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound

“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”

“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.

You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.

He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.

“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”

Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.

“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.

“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.

The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.

“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”

“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.

You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.

“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.

You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.

“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.

Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.

You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.

“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.

“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”

“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.

He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.

His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.

“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.

Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.

You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.

If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.

You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.

“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.

“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.

He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.

“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.

“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.

“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”

You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.

You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.

“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.

“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.

It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.

You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.

You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.

He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.

——

You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.

The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.

You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“

“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”

He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.

“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.

He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.

“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.

“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.

Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.

You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.

“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”

He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.

“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”

“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.

“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”

He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.

You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.

The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.

“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.

“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.

“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”

You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.

How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.

“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.

You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.

He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.

You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.

“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.

You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.

Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.

He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.

You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

“We can be crazy together.”

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung #jake enhypen #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #enhypen smut #enha smut #enha fics #enha angst #lee heeseung #heeseung angst #heeseung fluff #heeseung au

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elizabethwritesmen · 8 months

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I once was poison ivy

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Part 2 but now I’m your daisy

Older!Fireman!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Synopsis - You've spent your entire life taking men who intend to manipulate you and manipulating them instead. It's the only way you know how to survive. Then, one day, you meet Steve Harrington and you realize love and lust are so much more than survival.

A/N - This will be a two-parter. Maybe three if it runs too long.

Warnings: Fluff, sexual themes, smut to come in the second part, talks of using men for their money, vivid description of a car accident, drunk driving.

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I've been breaking hearts a long time and Fooling with them older guys Just playthings for me to use

The napkin on my lap was in pieces.

I'd been tearing it apart, whether out of anxious habit or sheer boredom I wasn't sure.

The man sitting across from me just would not stop talking. He started the second I met up with him in the parking lot and hadn't closed his mouth since. I nodded along and provided just enough commentary to seem present, but my brain was miles away.

He cleared his throat, staring at me pointedly until I met his eyes, a saccharine smile gracing my face.

"Are you alright, doll? I know all this shop talk can be a lot for a pretty girl like you to keep up with," he stated with all the confidence in the world, and I fought a scoff at his condescension.

"Oh, I'm fine!" I grinned wildly, almost childlike, "To be honest, I'm just in awe of you. Absolutely fascinated. I keep asking myself what I did to deserve a date with you!"

The lies cut through my teeth like butter, slick and smooth. I knew they worked when he puffed out his chest and a red tint covered his full cheeks, "Well darling, if you keep talking to me like that, you'll get more than one date with me!"

"There's nothing I'd love more!"

I know I should've cursed him for all he was worth, but that's not how my lifestyle worked. I didn't care how much of a pig a man was, as long as his money was louder than his mouth. And this man's money definitely was.

You see, he was older, a business man. He worked at some high end finance job, and he was most definitely the boss. I met him through my own job. I was a waitress and he frequented my corner booth on his lunch breaks. He knew my schedule and came to eat every single day I worked at 12:00 sharp with a new story about his job, his divorce, or his 1970 Chevelle. On the days I didn't work, he stayed away, claiming I was the only girl there worth looking at. And, every time, he left me a crisp 100 as a tip.

The last time he'd come in, he'd ended his lunch by asking me on a date. He told me he wanted to pick a dress out for me and treat me to the nicest dinner I'd ever had. Poor thing had no idea he wasn't the first millionaire to offer that. I agreed happily, pushing down any reservations and forcing myself to look forward to it.

So there we were, at one of those restaurants where you have to dress formally and use certain etiquette. I hated those places, I knew I didn't belong there, but it was what I had to do and I always did it with a smile on my face.

He continued talking and I began fiddling with the Versace dress adorning me, tugging on the hem. I only heard snippets of what he was saying. After hearing a million men tell the same stories, I thought there was no reason to pay any real attention.

Our waitress startled me out of the trance I'd fallen into, dropping the check off at our table.

"Here," he smiled, placing $200 neatly in the little black book, "That's enough for you to add a cheesecake to-go for my beautiful companion, and to buy something pretty for yourself!"

The girl's eyes widened and she grinned, staring at the generous amount she'd been given. It took her mere moments to bring by a bag with the cheesecake in a box at the bottom, and I was finally done.

"I'll walk you to your car," Mr. Boring offered in a way that I couldn't possibly refuse.

Well, almost done.

Once we reached my Passat, he pressed me lightly against the driver's door and planted a sloppy kiss on my lips. I cringed my way through it until it was finally over, and he opened my door for me.

"Maybe we can go out again next week?" he proposed, "I'll call you and we can set it up."

"Of course!" I nodded, eagerly climbing into the seat.

"Oh, and before I forget," he sighed, pulling his wallet from his pocket and fishing out two more crisp hundred dollar bills, "This should cover gas and the rest is a thank-you for making an old man feel young again. Seeing you in that dress made my evening."

I smiled at him as he walked away, my expression dropping the second he was out of sight. And then, I was finally headed home.

Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise Shaking, pacing, I just need you

It was about a 30 minute drive to my house, and I had the music cranked up the entire way. I was passing through the last intersection before my highway exit when I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

It was an SUV, much bigger than my car, headed straight for me. It was going so fast but in that moment time slowed down. It was too late for me to stop or get out of the way, I knew I was screwed. I yanked the wheel to the right, hoping they wouldn't hit me directly. I thought that if they caught the back end of my car it would hurt less.

They slammed into the back driver's side door, just barely missing me, sending me careening across the highway and into the ditch. I screamed as my head slammed into my window, blood running down my temple and onto my neck.

Finally, everything stopped. My car was, beyond all rationality, still playing music. I turned it all the way down, looking around.

The SUV was upside down on the highway, engulfed in flames. I saw a man laying about 20 feet away from it on the asphalt. I prayed he was okay, and that nobody else was in his vehicle.

Then, I examined myself. Glass had shattered everywhere, and there was a pile of it in my lap. My poor Versace was tattered and bloody, and I frowned momentarily in a small fit of grief. The back of my car was completely done for, and I was shocked my airbags didn't go off. Of course, there was no impact to the front of my car.

It only took minutes for sirens to overtake the scene. There were two ambulances, a firetruck, and several police cars.

I slipped my seatbelt off, groaning at the pain. It felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I guess I had, in a manner of speaking. My body was suffering from the turmoil.

Shockingly, my door opened when I pulled the handle and I climbed out, falling to the ground with a cry and a sharp wince.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the voice was deep, and I glanced up to see the fireman it belonged to running in my direction, "Don't move, just stay still. Please, stay still. God, you could've died trying to climb out of that car. Too tough for your own good!" He kneeled beside me, his arms holding me up, his eyes scanning me for all signs of injury. "Here you go, calm down. It's okay now, I've got you."

His voice was soothing me, and so was his thumb as he rubbed calming circles on my hip.

"Please," I cried, my voice almost too small to be audible. I squirmed, trying and failing to break free, "I need... I need..."

I wasn't sure what I was pleading for. I just wanted relief. My bones felt like they were combusting.

"I'm gonna get you some help, sweetheart, I promise. You're safe with me." He called the paramedics over to have a look at me. They ran straight for us and he lifted me up placing me comfortably on the stretcher.

As he began to walk away, I called out meekly, "Please stay with me!" and reached blindly for his hand. He gave it to me and nodded, squeezing my palm lightly as he helped them wheel me to the ambulance. They got me inside of it and starting poking and prodding, asking me questions.

"I don't want to go to the hospital," I whined, "I'm fine, I don't need a hospital."

"We gotta get you to the hospital, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I know it's scary, but you're tough though, huh?," his voice was still so soothing, and I nodded, holding tighter to his hand that was still intertwined with mine.

"Will you come with me?" I stared up at him, my eyes wide and pitiful in a beg.

"I can't, I have to get back and help clean all this up," he told me, his voice regretful.

"Please," I was whimpering at that point, desperate. I hated begging but he was the only thing keeping me from an anxiety attack. The only thing grounding me. The only thing keeping me from asking questions like, what if I'm seriously hurt? What's going to happen with my car? Is my cheesecake okay? How am I going to replace this dress?

Okay, some of the questions were silly but cut me some slack. I'd just been hit by a truck.

He chewed his lip in thought for a moment before sighing, "Let me talk to my boss and see what I can do."

He was gone for about five minutes, but when he came back, he was only in a white T shirt and his turnout pants. He set his jacket and hat on the bench seat next to me and climbed in beside me, grasping my hand again.

"Thank you," I whispered, and the sweet smile he gave me warmed my tummy.

Hours passed in a flurry of medical stuff I didn't understand and tests being run. When everything calmed down, I was sitting on a bed in an ER, a thick medical grade bandaid on my temple where I hit the window and some pain killers in my system. Fortunately, I wasn't hurt badly at all, just extremely sore and shaken up. I had a concussion, but that was the brunt of it.

"Okay, Miss L/N. I've got a prescription here for painkillers, it should help soothe your soreness and your headache. Other than that, you're free to go," the doctor walked in the room and told me jovially. He was nice, he made me feel comfortable. I was thankful to have him instead of someone colder. But what really made me feel comfortable was the firefighter, whose name I'd discovered was Steve. He stayed right beside me the entire time, even when I was first admitted. He even called my mom for me when I was first admitted, and that's the only time he let go of my hand.

"I think that's all, thank you," I sincerely responded.

"Great. Then I'll leave you be. If anything else happens, come back. Concussions are no joke. But I'm sure Steve knows that, so you're in good hands. He'll take care of you," he gave us a pointed look, glancing from mine and Steve's interlaced fingers to our faces.

"Bye, Joe," Steve dramatized, rolling his eyes.

"Bye Steve. Bye Y/N," the doctor responded between laughs, taking his exit.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Steve turned to me, his hard features softening the second his eyes met mine.

"Have you heard anything else from my mom?" I asked, trying to keep the hope in my voice at bay.

"She checked on you once, about an hour ago. I told her I was taking care of you."

"Oh."

His eyes were boring into me, searching. I'm sure it seemed odd to him, a mother not immediately rushing to her child's side when she hears there's been an accident. Wasn't very strange to me, though. My mom had never spared much time for me.

He cleared his throat, speaking more quietly, "She said she wants me to get you home safe, so that's what I'm gonna do. One of the nurses is gonna give us a ride to the station and I'm gonna drive you from there."

"Well it's settled, then. Let's go," I beamed, grabbing his hand and hopping off the bed. I didn't make it very far, though, nearly collapsing the second my feet hit solid ground.

Steve was quick, catching me and holding me steady. I lifted my eyes and they met his, inches away. I could feel his breath, warm against my skin.

"Be careful there, Super Girl. You're too weak to take on the world just yet," he sighed, and I had to fight the urge to lean in.

He was handsome. I'd noticed it the second he ran over to me, my knight in dirty turnout gear. I'd noticed it again in the ambulance when he told me he could go to the hospital with me. And I noticed it as his arms squeezed me tighter.

"I can walk," I mumbled.

"I'm sure you can, but you aren't. Come on, I've got you," he stated, as if there was no room for argument or disagreement. One of the arms around me slipped down to the crook of my knees and he lifted, pulling me securely into his hold. I gasped, grasping tightly to his shirt, my nails leaving imprints in the soft fabric.

"Steve, I'm heavy!" I screeched, and he chuckled.

"Even if you were heavy, I can handle it," he said, like it was obvious. My stare stayed skeptical and he sighed, "Sweetheart, you're not heavy. You're nothing compared to the gear I wear and haul, and the people I have to carry out of buildings."

I stayed stubborn for a moment longer before giving him a slight nod, "If your back starts to break, put me down!"

"I don't have any plans to put you down, sweetheart," he winked, and with that, he was carrying me to the ambulance bay where an Altima was waiting for us. One of the nurses was leaning against it. She was pretty, like a young Angelina Jolie. Her scrubs hugged every curve and jealousy pinged in my gut at how perfect she was. It turned to discomfort, though, when I saw the way she was looking at us.

There was a scowl plastered onto her face, full of judgment. Her eyes were stuck on Steve's arms around me, and if looks could kill, she'd have me dead in a second.

"Can you open the door for me, Bridget?" he asked, frustration laced in his voice from the way she was staring at us instead of helping.

"Of course, Stevie," she cooed, doing as she asked. He helped me in the back seat, going as far as to buckle the belt around me. My breath hitched as he did so, the proximity turning my cheeks bright red.

Bridget's face dropped as he slid in beside me and shut the door behind himself. She opened it right back, "What are you doing, Steve? Your spot is up front!"

"I'd rather sit back here with Y/N and make sure she's okay. Come on, we should get going. I'm sure she's ready to shower and rest."

She huffed, her anger embarrassingly evident, but she gave a slight nod and slammed the door, climbing into the driver's side and speeding off. My head was pounding, so I leaned on Steve's shoulder the whole time. Every now and then he'd shield me from the sun with his hands or run his fingers through my hair, keeping me as comfortable as he could.

Once we got to the fire station, he helped me out and we waved goodbye to Bridget. She gave me one more dirty look before leaving, and I hoped I would never see her again.

"There you are, Steve!" a voice joined into the mix, and I turned around to see a man about Steve's height with long curly hair approaching. He had a bag in his hand.

"Hey, Eddie," Steve greeted, "Thank you for covering my shift all night."

"All night and all morning. I'm assuming you won't be back after you take her home."

Steve looked bashful. It was cute, his cheeks turning red and his eyes averting downward.

"I promise I'll make it up to you, man. I just couldn't leave her, she needed me," he rushed out an explanation and I couldn't stifle my giggle.

"Yeah, sure she did. Come on, dude, I'm not mad. I needed the hours anyway and I'm not like you, I don't have a ton of beautiful women begging me to escort them to the hospital. My Friday night was all free."

"I don't have a ton of them either," Steve cried out defensively, "Just the one."

"Well then get her home before she decides she doesn't neeeeeeed you anymore," the other man, Eddie, winked then and turned to me, "Oh, by the way, I'm Eddie. Steve's best friend, confidant, life saver, shift coverer. I'm the reason he could be with you all night."

His tone was joking, so I played along, "Oh, well thank you so very much. I would've just died without him. As a matter of fact if he leaves my sight I'm sure I'll faint."

"Marry her," Eddie deadpanned, turning to Steve with the most ridiculously serious look on his face. The only response he got was an eyeroll. "Okay, whatever, get out of here. Here's the rest of your stuff, and what we managed to get out of Y/N's car. You can make the shift change up to me later." He handed Steve the bag and glanced my way, "And Y/N, I'm sure I'll be seeing you again. Until then, I'm glad you're okay."

Steve pulled his keys out of the bag, clicking them. A truck beeped across the parking lot and he wrapped his arm around me, helping me over to it.

The last we heard of Eddie was a scream over the parking lot, "Oh and Steve, put some clothes on that poor girl!"

He glanced down at my ripped up dress and blushed.

"Here," he handed me his turnout jacket, "Put this on."

I did as he asked and slipped back into his arms, allowing him to lift me into the passenger seat. I liked the way the material felt on me, warm and loose. It smelled of smoke but it also smelled of cinnamon and something muskier, all Steve.

As he pulled away, I decided to make small talk. It was a ten minute drive back to my house and I didn't want it to be awkward. Not that a single moment we'd already spent together had been. Steve had a way of making me feel like I was finally safe at home.

"Bridget and Eddie seemed nice," I commented. Obviously, I didn't mean the first part but I had a sinking feeling that Steve and Bridget were something of an item and I didn't want to upset him.

"Eddie is a great guy. We've known each other forever, and he's always had my back." He paused for a moment, "And Bridget was awful to you today. You don't have to pretend she wasn't."

"I just thought you and her were probably friends, or maybe even a thing, and I didn't want to say anything mean about her just in case," I smiled softly, apologetically.

"We're not. But she wants to be. She's a uniform chaser. She doesn't know the first thing about me other than my job."

"Do you get that a lot? Girls that are only interested in you because of what you do?"

"More often than you'd think. But it's okay. I guess it's better than not being wanted at all."

"You think if you were something else, something more boring, girls wouldn't want you?" My brows were furrowed in confusion. How could a man so wonderful have such a gaping insecurity?

"I didn't feel that way at first, but I guess I've become cynical over time."

"Well, I'm cynical with the best of them and I'm telling you that you're wrong," I started, "Don't get me wrong. The turnout gear is ruggedly sexy. Straight out of a calendar, really. But I wouldn't have wanted you to come to the hospital with me if you were any other fireman. I wanted you there because of how you made me feel. Safe, and taken care of."

Silence filled the air. I don't think he knew how to respond.

"What about you?" he finally asked, "That was a nice dress before it was ruined. You must've been on quite a date."

"I wouldn't call it that," I stared at my lap, color rising in my cheeks.

"Didn't go well?"

"It's not that, it's just... I wasn't really interested in him."

"What was wrong with him?"

"You ask a lot of questions," I breathed out a laugh, wanting a subject change. I felt shame, like if Steve found out the kind of men I date and why, he would drop me off and forget about me. I didn't want that. I craved more of him. More of his time, and his headspace. I hadn't known him long, but it's hard not to swoon over a man who spends hours of his time taking care of you.

"I'll stop. For now."

Shortly after he said that, we pulled into my driveway. He helped me out of his truck and into my house, commenting on how cute he thought everything was.

"Where's your bathroom? I'm gonna get the shower running for you," he turned to me and said.

"Oh," I blushed, "You don't have to do that. Really. I can manage to get around."

"I want to. I told you I would take care of you, and I'm not doing it halfway. Now should I go looking until I find it or are you gonna tell me where it is?"

"My room is down the hall, the bathroom is in there," I smiled shyly.

He didn't waste a second, pulling me back into him and let me lean on him the entire way there. I leaned against the sink as he looked around, taking the room in.

"A bath would probably be better than a shower. You're still weak, I don't want you to slip and hurt yourself."

I didn't respond, I just watched him as he turned the faucet on and felt the water, adjusting until the temperature was perfect.

"Thank you," I finally said as he finished up and stopped the drain.

"Of course. You gonna be able to get from the tub to the bed?" he asked me.

I giggled, nodding, "I think I'll manage."

"Okay... if you have any trouble or need anything, you're welcome to call me."

"How am I gonna do that without your number?"

His face went red, a silly smile crossing his lips, "Of course. You're right. Here."

He slipped his phone out, pulling up the screen to create a new contact and handed it to me. I quickly typed in my name and info and handed it back. He called me once, hanging up as soon as it rang, and nodded once affirmatively.

"There. Now you have mine, too."

"I'll call you, Steve."

"Yes, if you need anything at all."

"Okay."

He seemed reluctant to leave, and I was reluctant to let him, but he finally mumbled a goodbye and let himself out. I grinned into my hand, the butterflies still not settled.

I was not the kind of girl to feel things like I was feeling. I had a process, a way of getting through life, and it didn't involve getting hung up on the first handsome fireman I meet. I willed myself to come back to reality, but it was difficult. His face was stamped into my mind.

My phone pinged and I glanced down, his number filling my screen.

"I left my jacket. Can I stop by later and get it? And bring you dinner? I'd like to check on you anyway."

Any hope of coming back to reality flew out the window. I typed quickly and pressed send before I could talk myself out of it.

"It's a date."

#steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x reader #Steve Harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #fireman!steve #older!steve harrington #fireman!Steve harrington

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 4 months

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Best and Worst of Both Worlds (Part 16)

tw: literally Yves watching ur every move, super suffocating stuff, Yandere shenanigans

Yeah ok u guys decided to lust for the creep, then the creep u shall receive

after this chapter i mean

Part 17

You told him your opinion on Montgomery.

"I see." He replied. Yves deadpanned at you before pulling you in for another kiss on the lips. Your face and the tips of your ears heat up, you're still not used to this yet.

He pulled away and chuckled at your bashfulness. Trying to cover your burning face with your hands is futile, as it only makes him tease you more.

"Call me if you need to go somewhere. I'm available for you any time." He slung the straps of his handbag around his shoulder, and Yves prepared his car keys in his hand.

You told him 'okay' as you're rubbing the last of his lipstick marks off using a piece of wet wipe.

He stroked your head, traced his fingertips down your jaw and finally held your chin. He tilted your head upwards and gave you a forehead kiss.

You whinged as you now have to wipe off one last print. He bid you goodbye before closing and locking the front door behind him.

Soon after, you dashed back into your room trying to escape your housemates hollering.

Days would go on like this: Yves breaks into your house using the spare key, scare the shit out of you when you open the door to see him standing there, receive adequate kisses, eat (br)lunch, talk for hours, landlord comes over to fix more stuff, eat dinner and finally, at around midnight- sometimes later, Yves would leave.

You would go to sleep almost immediately, but definitely looking forward to the next day.

He started coming in earlier and earlier, working on his things during times where you had nothing to say. You asked him about his work, he tried explaining it to you but you zoned out. It's so boring and complicated. Full of numbers, charts and graphs, you couldn't care less.

Needless to say, he cooked all your meals and did all your chores for you. You always protested, because it isn't his job and you should be responsible for taking out the trash or keeping yourself alive.

Yves would simply ignore you and do them anyway. If you're particularly worried, he assures you that it's some sort of a hobby of his to take good care of you. If you insist that he stops, he will guilt you; making you think that you're unnecessarily taking away part of his joy in this relationship when it isn't even harming you. So you just let him do what he wants, and you benefit from it greatly.

You really like him. He lets you take a nap on his lap while he types away at your desk, Yves listens to you ramble about your interests and occasionally adds his own fascinating commentary to it. You were astonished to know he has a whole database of random fandom trivia in his head. He washed your sheets and made your bed for you every morning.

He lets you hog his portable fan to yourself. But eventually, his bargaining powers lead to your landlord installing a ceiling air conditioner in your room. The best part? No rise in rent.

Yves gradually introduced you to a solid skincare routine. It started off with a simple face cleanser and moisturizer. Then he added toner to the regime. Then a weekly exfoliation and bi-weekly usage of sheet masks. It was hard for you to remember to do it or have the motivation, but Yves didn't mind maintaining your skin.

You just love the tingles you felt when he reclined you on your chair and he massages your face with the moisturizer. His fingers skillfully work to unravel you.

He made your house actually enjoyable to live in. You haven't gone out in three weeks and that didn't alarm you. You are glowing, physically fitter than ever, clean and most importantly, happy.

You have the drive to do so many things. Like learning a new language, learning to code, learning to knit or crochet, learning to draw... anything you wanted to do, Yves is always the expert to consult. He would buy the materials you need and teach you step by step. It made sense for him to be an extraordinary mentor, because you found out that he was also an exemplary lecturer at your university at one point.

You confirmed that he's currently a researcher, specifically, a research mathematician who works together with other branches of academia including but not limited to human Psychology, biology and sociology. The gist of his project has to do with predictive algorithms and probabilities. It's impressive and complicated, too bad you're not interested beyond what was described in a nutshell.

It's no secret that you look up to him, seeing that you're also a student looking to advance their education.

But it begs the question of his age. He has done so much in a short span of time. You wonder what his true age is.

But it's almost impossible to know because he would be offended whenever his age is brought up. It seems like he despised being perceived as ancient, which you understand. He probably comes from a time where youth is overly worshipped. You let it go, it isn't like his age affects you in any way.

It doesn't mean you didn't try searching him up. At first you suspected that he was lying because you couldn't find anything about him working at your university on the internet. But you sent an email to the administration asking about him. They came back with the confirmation that Yves is currently a hired researcher there. Strange that they knew who he is without knowing his last name. You guess there's only one Yves in the entirety of his faculty.

Speaking of names, you were shocked to find out that Yves didn't have a last name. After tons of relentless teasing from Yves for wanting to know his surname and a platitude of shame-induced face coverings later, you finally discovered he doesn't have one. This was bizarre to you, but Yves only told you off for being insensitive towards him, as not everyone has the privilege of a last name. It seems like a touchy subject, better not bring it up again.

Although it has been around a month since you think you first met Yves, you can safely say that you're madly in love with him. He is way more attentive and caring of you than anyone you ever met. Not even your parents or guardians can compare. Absolutely no one in your life has treated you this well.

There is that nagging feeling that something is very wrong. It wasn't a "He is going to leave you for someone better" feeling, it was more of a "what if Yves is secretly an organ harvester and he's healing you up to make a good price on the black market?"

But due to blind love, you forced yourself to brush it off as some implausible, impossible, silly thought.

...is it though? Yves does give off uncanny vibes sometimes no matter how suave and sexy he is. He has a lot of things to hide and the knowledge that you have of him is not enough to save you if he ever decides to steal a kidney or two.

Maybe this relationship isn't good for you. It keeps giving you inner turmoil to lose sleep over. This is definitely too good to be true, no one likes being a full time babysitter for their partner; this has to be a trap! You think you should quickly break it off with Yves before it gets too--

You were interrupted from your thoughts when you felt the chilly air from the air conditioner nip at your skin. The bliss of not being boiled alive by your own fluid trickles down your forehead.

You close your eyes and grin, letting the wind blow on your sweaty hair. This is lovely, you're so grateful to have Yves in your life. If you didn't have him here, you wouldn't be able to enjoy this temperate luxury.

Yves lets his focused gaze linger on your form for a few more seconds before replacing the remote back onto the holder. Yves pressed the button on his stopwatch, the beep was soft enough to go unnoticed.

He checked the temperature, the time and the humidity of your bedroom before logging them all into his computer. Yves turned his head to look at your position on the floor, you're splayed out like a rag as gusts of cold air strike your body.

He opened another file, which is the floorplan of this house. His eyes scanned the screen, noting down the exact coordinates of your precise location.

It would always be like this. You would start formulating thoughts and suspicions on Yves, spiral so much that you contemplated ending everything to protect yourself, then something interrupts your mind and eradicating the unwanted ideas entirely. Be it a change in temperature, texture, hunger or thirst. Sometimes, it's because you feel you hit your Yves-interaction/social quota for the day. So he would excuse himself and leave your house until you recovered.

He always comes back at the perfect time. Just right when you're starting to yearn for him. Yves ensures he never leaves for too long to make you think he's neglecting you. But he wouldn't come back too soon to make you go "yuck, this bitch's face again?"

Your signs could be as minuscule as a lower lip twitch, a brief, split-second movement of the eye, flaring of nostrils, positioning of your arms or even a change in the depth or rhythm of your breathing.

Or it could be an increase in heart rate, body temperature or sweat beading from your pores. Hell, it could even be the sound of you swallowing your spit or the smell of irritation.

They are all telltale signs that you're about to do or think about something undesirable due to overwhelm or underwhelm.

It's scary. He could just detect it with his superhuman senses. But ignorance is bliss, you still didn't know that he's puppeteering your environment accordingly. He would very much like to keep it that way.

Yves must admit, he has been careless. For the past three weeks, he failed to consider that his daily presence is wearing you down. It was his own fault for disregarding his calculations, Yves was originally only supposed to see you four times a week; that was the most optimal arrangement.

But he was enamoured, as desperate and feverish as you to be together. He just hides it impeccably well. Could you blame him, though? This was the first time you acknowledged him, the first time Yves got to kiss, touch, and hug you as freely as he wanted. The first time he gets to observe past the use of cameras- he does not need to hide. He gets to put his elaborate meal plans to use, you're eating his cooking, he's washing your clothes and you're accepting his backrubs. This is the closest so far to the ideal he wanted in his life with you. Anyone would be greedy in his situation.

But he flew too close to the sun like Icarus did. The wax melted off his wings and now he has to face the consequences that would have been avoided if only he had controlled himself better.

He's starting to notice you're not as positively receptive to his kisses as before. Sometimes even outright grimacing and shuddering in disgust when you think he's not looking. You spent a couple minutes longer in the bathroom, sometimes up to an hour, claiming you had stomach issues. But you didn't have problems with your digestion, your boyfriend made sure of that. He meticulously checks everything that goes into your mouth and he knows you didn't even pull your pants down. All you did was sit in the corner and scroll on your phone.

You did it just to escape from Yves and he's fully aware of that.

It devastated him when he went through your internet history:

Yves removed his reading glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He checked the timestamps, and you accessed the web since three in the morning.

"Why are my boyfriend's kisses and hugs gross to me now"

"Clingy boyfriend"

"How to tell my boyfriend to stop being clingy without hurting his feelings"

"How to say no to hugs"

"How to say no to hugs and kisses"

"How to say no"

"How to stop people pleasing"

"How to tell people that i dont want to see them but not forever just for a few days"

"Social battery"

"Therapists near me"

"Therapy price"

"is University counseling free"

"university counseling wait times"

"How to break up with my boyfriend"

"Is it rude to break up over text"

"Script for breaking up"

"Nice script for breaking up"

"Kind script for breaking up"

"Breaking up without hurting his feelings script"

"ChatGPT"

"Do retired lecturers have a habit of checking for plagiarism in their day to day life"

"Is AI generated content plagiarism"

"Jobs near me"

He knows he has no one but himself to blame. He had a plan all laid out, if he followed it to a Tee, it would have conditioned you to ultimately accept his intense love without complaints. He was supposed to give you a maximum of one kiss on the lips and four others somewhere else on your face. But gave you a whopping average of 76 kisses a day, 20 of which are on the lips; 1520% of the actual daily cap on kisses.

Likewise, he hugged you too much. Yves was only supposed to give you 12 hugs, lasting 8 seconds each at most, spaced throughout the day. However, you're in his arms for a total of 6 hours a day; 2250% of the maximum.

He is the first thing you see in the morning and the last face you perceive before sleeping, From before sunrise to past beyond sundown, you would be exposed to him; from 6am to 12am the next day; he would already be in your room before you're even awake. Subconsciously, you know he's there because the brain never stops working.

Of course, you would be sick of him! It doesn't matter if you came from an affectionate family or you turned out severely touch-starved, with extreme figures like these, anyone would be nauseated with his presence by the third week!

Yves fought back the urge to run the numbers back the fifth time. The cold hard facts are there, he made a grave mistake. Painstakingly recalculating everything is just a pathetic attempt to appease his denial that he lost control over himself.

He sighed and propped his head up by an elbow, absentmindedly fiddling on his calculator. Yves's eyes flitted up to the monitor. You're curled up into a ball on your bed, scrolling on your phone. Most likely to try and catch up with your own me-time. Yves could see pixels of bags forming under your eyes.

He shook his head and decided he must rectify this. Yves got up from his seat and sauntered out of his office, switching the lights off but leaving his surveillance equipment on.

Meanwhile, you yawned, closing your eyes and letting your phone slip next to you. Finally but reluctantly drifting off to sleep.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #yandere concept #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader #oc yves #oc montgomery

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bronx-bomber87 · 8 months

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Happy Tuesday Fandom! If that's a thing lol Officially half way through s3. Insane. I love this episode. It’s one giant married moment. They are at the height of their banter and marriage flow in this one. This episode is one big continuous work flirt that doesn’t stop. Idk why people didn’t like this ep when it first premiered. It’s Chenford gold. I remember loving this kind of ep for Castle too. It was split for that fandom as well. I think they’re hilarious snippets I enjoy them a lot. The looks alone in this one are primo. This one is more me analyzing their commentary on the case since everyone is segregated in this one. But lets get started.

3x07 True Crime

We start our ep off with Tim and Lucy being the ones called to Corey’s house. There was signs of blood and they enter the house and find a ton of it. Thus starts their amazing run of snippets in this episode. They are being interviewed since they were apart of the investigation. Tim is instantly surly with the director LOL Shock surprise eh? Last thing he wants to do is be here. To him they could be out on the streets instead of this. Lucy is the natural antithesis to him about this. Legit beaming and he is miserable.

The epitome of grumpy x sunshine in every single way. These interview pieces showcase that so well. It makes me giddy and happy haha Tim wants to get out of this ASAP. While Lucy is so excited to be there answering any and all questions. Even cuts him off in her excitement. She is bursting at the seams with elation. Then apologizes to Tim but still can't contain her glee by saying ‘This is fun.‘ Tim judges her some more I’m dying. The look on his face at the end of the second gif above. LMAO

This next section I like to call. ‘How to show you’re in love with someone without saying a word.’ By Timothy Bradford. He is all heart eyes in this scene. First one he's settling in to listen. When his girl speaks he listens, second is him agreeing wholeheartedly with her assessment and lastly is heart eye/admiration city. Doesn't take his eyes off her most of this scene. They’re talking about Corey Harris’s acting class. How he used them to start a bling ring to steal from celebrities. Tim goes on to say how anyone they caught wouldn’t flip on Corey. So he got away with it.

Lucy adds in her own portion. Explaining how Corey promised his students everything. Money, fame. This in turn inserted him in their lives even further. Basically convincing his students he could control their destinies. Saying he did this because he probably didn’t have any control over his own. Tim is just nodding along with a proud look on his face. Just admiring her take on it. 100 percent loving her analysis of him. You know he loves how her brain works. He is just sitting back and enjoying her breakdown of Corey. As transparent as a glass of water sir.

What comes next always has me rolling when I watch this ep. Gotta love the way Lucy tells him like it is no matter the situation. Keeps him in check. Tim is so cocky in his deliverance of his teacher line. Smug really and Lucy shoots that down instantly. He’s all smiles (love this man's smile btw it does things to me. mmm) then realizes how much she’s got him on this. He is dead to rights and has no comeback. You watch in the gifs above he goes from smug and smiley to straight up defeated LOL

He exhales with a ‘You win’ sigh. It’s fantastic. He thought he had this clever quip against Corey. Survey says no. Wifey shut you down lmao Her face through out the whole scene is so funny. Like this is her idiot and she can’t help but poke fun at him for his comment. This moment will always make me laugh. He’s being so ridiculous and she doesn’t let him live it down in the slightest. Her reaction in the final gif is the best. Can't believe he's being such a goober. The work flirt begins and does not stop. Be more married you two please.

They end up finding a script at one of their crime scenes. The director thinks this is an odd thing to stumble upon. Apparently it is a completely normal thing in LA according to Tim. Just another day on the job in this city ha Their polar opposite replies are so indicative of them as characters. The way Lucy is like well yeah when they’re asked if they’ve written one. Tim's is an instant and hard 'God, No' LMAO. These two. Opposites truly do attract.

Her face in the first gif what makes me laugh so hard. That sheepish embarrassment. Eric and Melissa are just pure gold in this one. Their looks alone are some of the best parts besides the banter. Tim can read her like a damn book. All he has to do is look over at her and see her answer. At first he’s waiting for her to say she hasn’t either. Expecting her to follow suit.

She does not…his body language while he’s waiting for her verbal answer is so funny. Like a slow realization. Then it’s judgy city after that. The way she weakly defends why she has is too damn funny. He is none too pleased she has written one. We all know how Tim feels about screen writers. His face says everything. God I love these two sfm.

Their looks in this one have me rolling the entire episode. Eric is the master when it comes to this in the first place. He crushes it in this one they both do. His reaction to her excitement as they get closer to the climax of this case is hilarious. The judgy side eye and furrowed brow he gives her above is extremely amusing.

Tim truly doesn’t understand why she’s enjoying this so damn much. He’s trying to just get through it and be done. His grumpy old man is showing extra hard in this moment. Her sunshine demeanor despite him is amazing. She is of course the opposite and doesn’t know why he doesn’t enjoy this whole thing more LOL Lucy is having a friggin blast. Its coming off her in waves every time it comes back to them.

I feel like Lucy owns Tim’s ass for most of this ep. He literally doesn’t stand a chance against her witty comebacks. Every time he tries to be cocky or make a joke she shuts him down so hard. His crack about a woman scorned. Lucy puts him in check real quick with that one. His soft tone when he says he’s not trivializing it....(but you are my love)

He doesn’t want her to be mad at him for his stupid comment. Then she takes him to school even further with her logical stats. He has nothing to say except 'Most...'' No leg to stand on Timothy haha. Lucy is proud of her self for this one. No one puts Tim Bradford in check better than Lucy Chen. We all LOVE it. (He does too let's be honest...) This episode is pure gold for their banter. Married idiots in this one for all to see.

The director then comments on how Lucy was the one who broke the case wide open. Lucy is beaming from ear to ear. Lights up like a Christmas tree at hearing this. She is so excited to be recognized. Tim isn’t so fast to heap on that particular praise. Now Tim doesn’t give praise out easily to begin with. Add in she just schooled him in front of the director, he’s gonna be extra salty haha The director then asks well if he wouldn't describe it as such how would he?

Tim takes a shot at her social media addiction as his answer. Then Lucy looks like she wants to punch him so hard. Like how very dare he say about her. Ha She is so affronted telling the director 'That’s hurtful' LOL (but a little true...) Side note. I can totally see them in bed. Tim falling asleep to her endless scrolling. It becoming a comfort thing for him. Her going till she is ready to sleep. Shortly after him I imagine. Tis a nice thought to think about now that they're together. But let's get back to the present ep at hand before I daydream any further hehe

The cute looks in that final gif though. Be still my heart. She is so exasperated with him and he’s soaking it up. No regrets whatsoever taking her praise and boiling it down to luck. The absolute shameless flirting going on between these two. It’s like they don’t even know they're putting on a show for this director LMAO It's truly delightful.

Lucy scrambles to defend herself. It’s pretty comical. Saying she was on her phone doing ‘research’ Tim shaking his head but enjoying this none the less. Says that she got a notification and that’s what drew her eye to Corey's video showing he's alive. Lucy says she still has the video on her phone. So ready to take Tim down a peg. She pulls it up and it’s her on her own page doing some sort of dance. I’m laughing so hard.

I want to see this video in its entirety. Read the comments. All of it. I don't know what’s funnier Lucy being mortified that came up or Tim wanting a peak at the video. He’s confused as hell but wanting to see what she was showing the director. If you need a pick me up episode this is it. This one doesn’t disappoint on so many levels.

His confused face is everything after she quickly hides her phone. There are facets to her personality that allude him completely. This is one of them. Alas Timothy this is the woman you’ve chosen to love hahaha I love her being a dork sfm though. It’s that light hearted dork that brings the best out in him as we see in s5.

Their final scene doesn’t disappoint. Lucy’s face during his rant LOL. Tim going off saying what a waste of time this is, he should be doing stuff more important. Said this before but that line from Aaron in S5 fits perfectly for this rant. He's the old dude from 'Up' Such a good line because its so true for him. I love him so much for his grumpiness though. You know Lucy does too. Loves every piece of this man.

Her face is like the wife letting her husband rant even though she thinks he’s wrong. Tim gets humbled one last time. The director tells him about his last project. The way Lucy watches him the entire scene is adorable. She loves her idiot. The look they share after he says ‘Oh. Alrighty then.’ The smirk on Lucy's face. I can not. He has grown so much btw to not to be continuously defensive after he's corrected. Just rolls with it in this last scene. Like Oh... Oops.

Tim gets the last laugh though. Lucy is beaming slash word vomiting her love of true crime while Tim rolls his eyes LOL Thanking the director for letting her be in this. She is exuding sunshine and happily looking at him. When she finishes up Tim pops her happy bubble. Tells her about the thing in her hair. They’re constantly trying to one up the other. Take each other down a peg. Competitiveness even in an interview. Unreal. Lucy has his number this entire episode. So it’s only fair Tim gets his shot in last minute.

I do love in the second gif he stops himself from getting said thing out of her hair though. You watch him reach for it then stop his hand before it makes the full journey. Lucy is so affronted she doesn’t even notice. Her arm is already up and blocking any attempt to grab it anyways. I do love his almost attempt though. It's the little things.

Lucy is so mad he let that be in her hair the entire time. He did it because well it’s Tim. I adore these two so very much. He sighs heavily as she berates him on the way out. So exasperated by her it’s so funny. This is such a fun flirty light hearted episode for them. We got their banter in spades with side helping of heart eyes and flirtation. One of my fav eps of the season for them. Much needed levity after the intensity of the last two.

~~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

Not much. Was good to find out what happened to Sterling. Gino just disappeared last year without a trace. So having ending to them was nice to have.

Harper was hilarious during the interviews to always love me some Nyla Harper. ❤️

Forever Thank you to all who read these reviews and like, comment and reblog means the world :) see you all in 3x08

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wedielike · 2 years

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Satisfied, Sky adds the last bit of glue to his model, holding the piece in place as it dries and a bird chirps outside his dorm-room window. The noise surprises him, not because the bird is unusually loud, but because it has been unusually quiet for the last thirty minutes. No Prapai asking when he’ll be done, giving a running commentary on all the places they could get dinner once Sky is done, listing all the ways he could distract Sky from doing his work…

Glancing over his shoulder, he’s surprised to find Prapai asleep on his tiny twin bed, feet hanging over the edge. For a second, Sky smiles to himself at Prapai sprawled across the mattress, the first few buttons undone on his shirt as if he’d thought that might tempt Sky to stop working. His hair is a mess, but he’s adorably soft as Sky watches for a moment too long.

He’s done with his project, and now would be the perfect time to sneak out and leave Prapai to wake up all alone in a dark dorm room. But Sky is tired, and Prapai looks so invitingly warm.

The bed is really too small for two people, but Sky climbs over the end of the mattress, wiggling his way down beside Prapai as Prapai shifts, makes a noise that could be confusion as his eyes crack open to Sky settling in beside him.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking a well-deserved break,” Sky replies, pulling Prapai’s hand out from under him, adjusting it along the pillow so he can lay on top of his arm. “Unlike you. You haven’t deserved anything today.”

“I had a very long meeting this morning,” Prapai protests, shifting closer to Sky, his other hand slung over his waist, warm and heavy. “And my boyfriend’s been ignoring me all afternoon.”

Sky pulls back as Prapai edges in for a kiss, ignoring the way his eyes go all soft and round and pouty at the rejection. “I’ve been working.”

“Working too hard,” Prapai says, kissing Sky’s clothed shoulder since he’s still too far away. Prapai jostles him, an attempt to get rid of any remaining space between their bodies, and Sky rolls his eyes, bites back his smile.

“Do you even know what that means?”

“Shut up, you,” Prapai says, fond, reaching up to brush Sky’s hair back from his eyes. He pauses, though, and for a second, something anxious drops into Sky’s stomach, the way it always does even though he knows that whatever Prapai is thinking, it isn’t bad. It’s usually about sex, which Sky doesn’t mind (even if he takes every opportunity to make fun of how horny Prapai always is). “I want to take you to dinner.”

It’s not what Sky expects, and he lets out the huff of tension gathering in his lungs. “Okay?” That had been the whole point of Prapai coming over, although he hadn’t needed to come over hours before dinnertime, just to hang all over Sky, distracting him, being too cute to ignore.

Prapai’s fingers sweep through his hair, faces too close on the pillow, and Sky feels the anxiety again. He can’t help it.

“I want to take you to dinner with my family,” Prapai says this time, watching Sky closely. “My mom’s been asking about you, and my little brother thinks you’re made up.”

For a second, Sky can only hear his own heartbeat, loud in his ears, his stomach coiling itself into a knot as Prapai gazes at him expectantly.

“Because you’ve never had a relationship longer than a week?” Sky jokes because it’s easier than talking about how scary the idea of meeting Prapai’s family is, of making whatever this is exist outside of their two separate lives.

Prapai smiles, easy, the way he always does, the way that eases the knot in his chest somehow, like things are going to be okay. “Pretty much,” he agrees, fingers gentle on Sky’s cheek. “And I want them to meet you.”

Sky doesn’t reply, looking away from Prapai, his too-charming smile that he should hate, but it just makes him all gooey and pathetic inside. Prapai isn’t like his ex. He’s sweet and kind, and despite their initial meeting, not the gigantic douchebag Sky had pegged him as originally. His ex never invited him to meet his family, had only used him for his own pleasures.

“They’re gonna love you,” Prapai says when Sky doesn’t respond, tipping his chin up, and he sounds so confident that it makes Sky’s heart ache. “Come on, don’t you wanna know where I get my dazzling personality from?”

The air lightens and Sky breathes again, shaking his head at Prapai. “Okay,” he agrees, hoping he can trust in the way Prapai’s smile widens.

“In the meantime, you ready to get something to eat now?”

Sky is hungry, but he hesitates instead, gazing at Prapai on the pillow across from him. “In a minute,” he says finally, taking in Prapai’s curious expression as he leans in and kisses him, rolling him onto his back, hands on his neck. They’ll get dinner in a minute, but for now, Sky is content with the meal he has right here.

-----

Have a part two.

#love in the air #prapaisky #ficlets #managed to do something but its not enough #i need more #once prapai stops being a dick hes going to be the best boyfriend #and sky deserve it

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emblazons · 1 year

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I think the thing that makes me sometimes "doubt" Byler endgame is how the writers seem to treat Will in the narrative by either making him nonexistent, sidelined and unimportant overall with often minimum screentime. Idk. A lot of ppl tried to explain why it was necessary for him to be sidelined but that resulted in the audience thinking that Byler has no chance of becoming canon and that Will is just a useless background character. Add the monologue moment in S4 and Mike constantly talking about all in S4, how do you explain the duffers will make the narrative fit in what they have showed so far in the show? Most ppl will think Byler came out of nowhere and if Will gets a huge moment regarding fixing/saving the world ppl will think it came out of blue and there was no buildup. It takes really pains to prove Will's importance and Mike's love for Will. And not sure if the writers will manage that.

—so I’ve answered some version of this kind of doubt several times on this blog before, so I’m going to direct you to those posts, so as not to reinvent the wheel:

Will's Taking a Backseat in S3 + Dustin companion piece

The Duffers, Show v Tell, and people missing subtext

The Duffers Aren't Writing "Casual TV"...they're writing for themselves and people like them

Why people assume ST is written poorly (like other shows)

General Audiences, Media Literary, and "Catching" Byler

Why I Don't Understand "Duffer Doubt"

On: "Objective" Byler (and ST) Commentary

The Duffers, the "GA," and how your value system affects how you go about interpreting (or missing things in) media

Mike & Will's 3 season arc (and how it fits in the wider narrative)

On: M&R being "2 Straight White Guys" writing a queer story

+ a cut for more thoughts about how Will really wasn't all that sidelined lmao

That said: if I’m honest, I fundamentally disagree with the premise that the duffers somehow need to “make the narrative of Will fit into s5,” as though he hasn’t been integral to the Hawkins connection to the UD since literally day one.

That, combined with the fact that he was barely even in season one outside of flashbacks (and yet still managed to carry all of S2) + hasn’t really been sidelined at all if you know how to read emotional beats and not just “action” ones? Like, sure, him not being front and center was true in S3, but given that he is the center of all of Mike’s emotional decisions across all of S4 and is now quite literally holding the “main relationship” (which it’s not, but we’ll let that go) together…saying he’s not central to what’s to come given his active connection to El, Mike, every single Byers, the rest of the Party and now Henry/Vecna as we file back into Hawkins is insane.

IMO, the real problem (and at the risk of sounding like every byler critic on the internet) is that the show is made of an ensemble cast who have all had their rounds in the spotlight over the seasons…which means that Will is not going to always be at the fore front of the action, because this is not The Will Show and not every season is written with his story as its primary narrative core. That said, if you are paying attention to the emotional and even supernatural beats of the show, you can clearly see where they’ve set Will up to hold an important and even critical role in the final season—

—especially given that characters like Henry and Vecna didn’t even technically exist 2 seasons ago, and yet now hold primary weight in the story and in the minds of this “general audience” people love acting like matter most to the Duffers (even tho they have repeatedly said they don’t lmao).

I personally do not give a damn about what “the GA” thinks is possible given that half of them were mad when Will was central to the story in S2 (the 'S2 was my least favorite season / the season I don't watch much of people) and half of them couldn’t even tell he was gay, despite being plain as day to anyone who doesn’t need every single beat of the story spelled out for them….and that the duffers literally and repeatedly make fun of people for doing I throughout the show.

All that said...I respect your right to doubt, but…of all the things I could doubt The Duffers being able to pull off in the minds of this nebulous “GA” everyone thinks is so stupid they haven't picked up on any subtext or plain narrative (which I could make a strong case they aren't...which is why they pitch such a bitch lmao), making Will central to the 5th season after all the pains they’ve taken to flesh out both his connection to the UD and his romantic feelings/sexuality is not one of them.

It's not as nearly "blindsiding" as people seem to think it is—because the second you stop thinking everyone is heteronormative, you realize a lot of people who just aren't as loud as the naysayers on the internet see it plain as day.

#finally getting to the marathon of asks in my inbox lmao #that said... I'm not sure how many more asks like this I'm gonna answer tbh #I don't know how many ways I can say the same thing like #its giving someone trying to evangelize a person who has made up their mind not to believe LMFAO I'm not gonna convince you #not if you're not open to being convinced...or want to tunnel in on your doubts to protect yourself #I can't reinvent the wheel lmao #asks

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misc-obeyme · 1 month

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CC, I desperately need to know. When commenting on or reblogging your fics, are suoer simple feedback comments still really nice to get? Like "This was beautiful" or something?

I'm struggling with feeling guilty because I am having a hard time getting energy to give longer comments and stuff. I usually write a few things about the story or related to the story but right now even just writing "I really like this!" has been taking a lot of energy.

Also, do you have an Solomon🤍 anon? If not...

~ Solomon🤍

Hey there anon! I don't have a Solomon🤍 anon, so I will be sure to add that to the anon list!

Now, as it happens, I have thoughts about this specific thing. I can't speak for all writers/artists, but I think my sentiments are somewhat universal since we're all creating and sharing on the same platform. I've also been on Tumblr since the very beginning, so that might have an impact on my personal perspective.

To begin, let me give you the short and easy answer: It is always nice to get any kind of feedback, even short and sweet comments like the ones you've given as examples. Please don't feel guilty about not leaving massively long, in depth commentary on things. Most people understand that not everybody has the spoons for that kind of thing all the time. It's honestly just nice to know that someone liked it at all.

That being said, I feel the need to give you a little bit more nuance about this particular issue, as someone who gets a lot of notifs nowadays.

Quite honestly, the fact that you reblogged it at all is really nice, even if all you do is tag it as "obey me" or something along those lines.

I get hundreds of notifications every day. And most of those are likes. I would say perhaps like 90%? It's a lot. And when one post is getting a lot of attention, my notifs just group them together. So it'll be like "username, username, and 12 other people" and then it'll indicate the post and that it was liked by all those people.

That means that if you reblog it, even without tags, it pops up as a separate notification. And to me, that's always nice to see. I'm always like OH! That person liked it enough to reblog! Thank you, friend!

I'm not kidding, that's my internal monologue lol.

I know there's a lot of discourse about reblogging vs liking, but I'm not really talking about any of that (I'm willing to share my thoughts if people ask though). I'm just telling you what it's like from my perspective.

Things that always catch my attention are reblogs with or without tags, a direct comment on a post, and asks.

Specifically about reblogs, there are different things that are more noticeable.

Like, yes, I'm going to notice if someone leaves a lot of tags gushing about how much they liked the story. I have screenshotted tags and comments that have made me happy just so I can go back and read them.

I often reread the reblogged tags on posts. It's writer-fuel.

And when I'm looking at the reblogs of a post all at once, I'm scrolling through and seeing one that's really in depth and one that's just "AAAAHHH" and i love them both equally.

Is it always going to be more meaningful and impactful if someone reblogs with a dissertation in the tags or even a whole analysis added to the post? Of course. But that is a rare occurrence and not something I ever expect to see. Nor would I personally want someone to force themselves to give more feedback than they can manage.

I just like to know that reading it meant something to you. Likes tell me you liked it, tagless reblogs let me know that you liked it enough to share it, but they don't really tell me much beyond that. A reblog that says "I really loved this!" lets me know that this piece of writing touched you enough for you to actually write a little response to me. You might even say something like, "I love *character*" or perhaps "that last line oof" or even just "a;lksdfkljasdfklj" - all of that conveys so much more to me than a like or tagless reblog. It doesn't have to be a lot. And when like five people do this on one post, it really adds up, too, you know? So I'm like Oh, the people like this one!! LOL!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, the more interaction you can give is always appreciated, but nobody wants you to force yourself to have elaborate comments. Just a reblog is also appreciated.

That being said, if you want to get elaborate in the tags PLEASE DO. You don't need to push yourself, but you don't need to hold back, either!

I appreciate every bit of interaction I receive, of course. And I'm thankful for everyone that has followed me and enjoyed my writing!

I hope that answered the question, I'm sorry for rambling a bit lol. I just figured I could take the opportunity to talk a little bit about what it's like from my side of things! Thank you for asking, honestly, I appreciate that you're worried about making fic writers feel the love on their works! But you don't need to feel guilty, you're already doing more than most by reblogging and leaving any tags at all. 💕💕

#oof I really wrote a whole essay about this huh #sorry anon I guess I got a little carried away lol #Solomon🤍 anon #misc answers

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banana-zim · 10 months

Text

SCENT OF STEAM CONTEST WINNERS

Thank you to everyone who joined the first SCENT OF STEAM art contest, for the band @scentofsteam!! Every entry received was appreciated, and it meant a lot to us to have you guys enjoy the music and create something from it. Both myself and the band were judges for the entries, and the results and commentary are down below. I will be DM'ing the winners individually for their prizes~

1ST PLACE - @nichiperi

Scent of Steam: This fits the vibe of Emotions are Social perfectly. A quiet loneliness with an ever watching eye. Bleeding in a monitored solitude. Not to mention the composition used in this piece. The bright contrasts draw your attention into every detail. BananaZim: This piece feels like it should be one of the classics you see in museums, from the decaying texture on the canvas, to the classic style of painting/shading/coloring/shapes. The colors used in this piece are immediately attention-grabbing, and the composition is elegance at its finest. The eye in the sky is an immediate winner, too - this piece is something burned into my brain, and I constantly think of it.

2ND PLACE - chxoticspecter (Instagram)

Scent of Steam: I feel this piece not only comments on Emotions are Social, but the album as a whole. The caskets pointing venomously towards the bleeding heart while eyes drip with memories of blood from the bottom. Absolutely fantastic.

BananaZim: I knew the moment I saw this, it was instantly placed for a winning spot. The anatomical heart is a symbol close to my own, and the gradients add such a powerful touch here. I also love the fine details on the heart and the coffins around it. It perfectly captures the song.

3RD PLACE -@faithfulwhispers-art

Scent of Steam: Dark, decaying, empty. Like someone wandering through old, decrepit memories, unable to escape. Things they no longer wish to see but are forced to relive again and again. As the years move on, the place the memories reside begins to crumble and distort, yet they cannot leave. A perfect fit for Room in the House of Lore.

BananaZim: Faith has a talent to take a song and create the exact imagery and environment the song is projecting. It was pretty damn spooky just how perfectly this piece was set up, from the broken down house, to the construction pieces in the back, to the foreground pieces. Also, the entire thing is glazed over in this dark, rich red, showcasing the artist's coloring skills.. I love how this draws you in.

HONORABLE MENTION - @spanglespants

Scent of Steam: This was heavily considered for 3rd place and needed to have at least a mention made. I find myself with this image in my head quite a lot. Not this exact picture, but the dark silhouettes of power lines and trees, with the last dying lights of the sun illuminating the horizon. This has always been a scene that has attracted my eyes, with the anticipation of the stars coming out for the night. This moment is captured perfectly in this picture.

BananaZim: Scent of Steam and I were sold on this photograph when we saw it. As stated, it absolutely needed to be recognized in our results as an honorable mention. The lavender/blue sky that has just a single star and the distant moon, to the telephone lines... It whispers to me a liminal space, or a wash of nostalgia. It also was a beautiful fit to the album, and to the songs referenced, and it deserves more eyes on it.

#scent of steam #scent of steam contest #art contest

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ghostwise · 9 months

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Tagged by the lovely @ghoulsbeard for a writing commentary exercise! Thank you so much, this was really fun! Tagging @coldshrugs @thevikingwoman @scionshtola and tbh I'm not sure who has or hasn't been tagged in this one... tagging all my writing friends please!! 🙌🏽💖

line(s) that made you laugh

“This pair claim to be enchanted to more easily spot nugs,” Alistair calls from the other end of the shop. “Could be useful.”

“How?” Hamal asks.

“If you have Sandal alter them to spot…”

“Traps?” Zevran asks.

“Darkspawn?” Leliana adds on.

“I can already sense those,” Hamal groans.

“The possibilities are endless,” Alistair says, quiet, awed, and mostly to himself.

- the reading stone

I don't write ensemble silliness often enough, and I had a lot of fun setting up this scene where they're all kind of goofing off. I fully believe that if you take the stress away from them for a moment they revert to dweeby antics.

line(s) that makes you sad

“I’m so glad you’re doing well. So tell me,” she scoots closer and looks at him eagerly, “What sort of life did you have, after you were adopted?”

“Adopted?”

By the kitchen counter, Hamal catches the subtle edge in Zevran’s tone. He pauses, holding the knife in his hand as a lull falls over the kitchen table, but he doesn’t know enough Antivan to guess what’s happened.

What’s happened is this: Zevran and Adelmar came from the same place, and know enough about that life to instantly understand that a lie has been told.

“Oh,” Adelmar breathes after a moment. “You… you weren’t adopted.”

Zevran lets out a laugh. It’s his ‘stalling’ laugh, and now Hamal is looking over, arms crossed, searching his face for clues.

“I was not adopted,” he says. “But do not trouble yourself over that.”

- not a homecoming, but something like it

It's obviously upsetting that Adelmar was lied to about what happened to Zevran, but I think in this moment they are both standing in the shadow of the life they could've had. Adelmar loved Zevran before the Crows ever touched him. The tragedy is, though, she was very much a child herself, so it's unfair to expect her to have been able to save him... but damn if she wouldn't have tried.

line(s) that you’re proud of

People think the desert is barren; the land harsh, the people unforgiving. They couldn't be more wrong. In all Refugio’s experience, scarcity creates generosity—not greed.

In the desert no one survives alone. It is a simple necessity to share resources, to freely give of one’s food and water and laughter. The desert gives people reason to band together. He’s never given it a second thought.

He remembers it fondly, how with each rainy season the desert comes to life.

People think the desert is barren. They don't know: the desert makes you kind.

- lovesong of the buzzard

Genuinely truly, Refugio is one of my favorite characters to write. 🥹 His voice comes easy to me; he's so vibrant and clever and funny and deeply emotional always, and this little piece is so wistful and homesick... it truly is an exercise is poetry I hope to continue to emulate. It's one of those bits of writing that make me think, oh if I can make more like this... I'm set.

line(s) you think could’ve been done better

The group ate and moved on. They chatted as they went, Cammen and Mathuin ultimately deciding on forgiveness. Not for any particular reason; just because it was easy and kind. Zevran was grateful for it.

The further they went, the thicker the forest became. Tree branches crowded overhead, but never overlapped, creating an unusual patchwork ceiling. Between the gaps in the canopy, daylight fell in dancing columns that tricked their eyes.

- for suffering is such a part

This one's kind of tough. I feel like every line has a job to do in writing, but they can't all be masterful and brilliant and insightful; that'd be silly. Some lines and passages are just there to efficiently get us from one bright spot to the next.

That being said, I could've done more showing rather than telling in fsisap. If I were to tackle it again I think it'd be really different in style, not to mention much longer 😵

line(s) that makes you want to punch a character

Atanasio was right about one thing: A Crow did not lose his composure. Even with a line of blood beginning to form at his neck, the man looked at Zevran with a wholly unimpressed expression. He remained thus, quietly thinking, before answering.

“Who?”

- quinta de talpa

This guy suuuuucks. I have this image of a man who has been tasked, for decades, for most of his life in fact, to just torture children--and he rationalizes it to himself so fully! Perceiving him through Zevran's POV makes it all the more impactful. This encounter is a nightmare from his childhood. This man is a monster he survived, when far too many didn't.

line(s) that makes you go “awww”

Hamal hums softly, happily.

“I dedicated the fight to you,” he says. “The Paragons will favor you now, I think. All of Orzammar will know.”

Zevran presses a light kiss over the dressings and gauze on his arm.

“Ah, but your favor is the only one I need.”

- tengo la vida muy corta (y tu la mirada decente)

Tender wound bandaging is a good trope and I think this little excerpt is sweet. I don't think I ever posted it here.

line(s) that contain an easter egg

For a moment she focused solely on Hamal, lying across from her. Zevran saw a moment of unmasked feeling, a deep sadness welling in her eyes, and she lifted a hand to brush against Hamal’s face.

“Is he alright?” she asked quietly. All the usual edge was gone from her voice.

“He will be fine,” Wynne responded. Morrigan’s eyes shut. She drew her hand back, and held it against her chest like it burned.

“Good,” she said softly, and Zevran got the impression, only for a moment, that she knew something no one else knew. “Good.”

- for suffering is such a part

Not sure if I'm interpreting 'easter egg' correctly, but this is Morrigan talking about the dark ritual.

I hope to write a little more exploring Hamal and Morrigan's dynamic because it's very bittersweet.

line(s) that are shocking

“Zevran, I don’t know how to shut the damn thing off!”

Hamal’s hands were mere inches from the looms, but he gripped the assassin’s ankle, trying to pull their body free.

“Leave them, amor,” Zevran said.

“But they’re—it is crushing them!”

“They’re gone. We have to leave!”

- (wip) quinta de talpa

A little snippet from a scene in QdT. It's one of those scenes where things just go terribly awry and I'm excited to edit it up and share it.

line(s) you want to talk about more

Zevran thought carefully. The story had the cadence of a very long riddle, and he had the suspicion that there was no wrong or right answer to it. He also got the impression, judging from Mathuin and Cammen’s inquisitive gazes, that the story would not be complete until he answered. It was his turn now to conclude the narrative.

He thought about it at length. Mathuin and Cammen waited patiently, silent, full of anticipation for his response.

“Alright,” he said finally, having thought about it for quite a while. He stopped by a large tree and looked up at its branches, as the others listened.

“I think both stories punish the clan, not for cutting the tree, but for their treatment of Abelas. In the first story, they should have been watching the child more closely. They knew he was destined for challenges, so they should have worked doubly to keep him from harm. In the second story, the clan should not have sought to drive the man away. They knew he had suffered all his life, so they should have helped him get back on his feet, not ostracized him. The moral of both stories is to protect the vulnerable.”

- for suffering is such a part

I am SO delighted by this scene where Zevran gets to participate in Dalish culture and storytelling, while bonding with his companions in a way that invites his natural curiosity and cleverness and creativity!!

I knew early on that I wanted to incorporate The Rowan Grove in fsisap somehow. It's one of my favorite codex entries, but it always felta bit dissonant when I considered it along with what we know of Dalish culture; so I wrote an entire scene where characters share the story in various iterations, and have a discussion about its meaning.

The added layer to it of course is metaphorical. Zevran is in many ways the central character from that tale. The comparison comes up again in later chapters.

It's an allegory on various levels, and I personally love allegorical tales. They're a great way to dig deep into a character and world. :)

#thank youuu <3 #rinnywrites

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hamliet · 1 year

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Hi! Hope you are doing well. By any chance, have you happened to watch The Glory?

Oh no.

I say "oh no" because I have, in fact, watched Part 1. I will not be watching Part 2. And... my feelings on this story run long, and they run deep. I have only talked to two friends about it because my feelings are so unpopular but--

I hate The Glory. I truly, truly hate it as a story, as a piece of media, and I cannot for the life of me understand why it gets any praise at all.

Well, that's not fair, I guess. I can understand--it appeals to the id. But I still think people neglect critical thinking when it comes to this story, and as someone for whom this issue--bullying--is extremely personal in a lot of ways, I find it offensive.

*Also, I do want to acknowledge that there are absolutely cultural elements I am not familiar with. That said, I'm also not coming from "just googled it" when it comes to the specific cultural elements around bullying portrayed in The Glory; I do have experience there. However, I was not raised in this culture, so there are certainly many elements I'm missing*

Listen, I know I'm usually in the "fiction isn't reality!" camp, but I also always add that fiction doesn't happen in a vacuum. It is shaped by and therefore can shape reality. Lots of factors go in to determining how, and I do believe stories, especially those that deliberately try to be "issues" stories, should take care to be responsible. The Glory frames itself as an issues story, and it takes no care to be responsible whatsoever.

Yeah, yeah, it's a revenge story. But revenge stories, frankly, are very dull stories most of the time unless they are 1) shocking or 2) intellectually interesting. The Glory has no interest in provoking questions beyond the very basic "oh, did she go too far?"

The Glory in a rare category of my opinions where I think it is a bad story and the people who made it should reconsider their choices. It goes along with 13 Reasons Why in terms of how NOT to tell a story about an important issue, even if the makers are well intentioned (which I do think was the case for 13RW).* Not every way of bringing awareness to an issue is equal. There are irresponsible ways to talk about issues in fiction that actually reinforce harmful stereotypes, and that transcend the boundary between fiction and reality because the story is designed precisely to do so, and this is one of those cases.

*(Given what came out about the director of The Glory, it doesn't even seem like there was a good intention here. Also this was 0% shocking because the entire damn story is literally "How Bullies Think 101" but presenting it as how a victim thinks and without the self-awareness of calling that out. It's dishonest, unhealthy, irresponsible, shallow, and uses shock value to cover the fact that it has little depth. I hate to tell you but literally 99.99% of bullies think their victims deserve it. This could of course be an interesting meta commentary, but the story's not interested in anything deeper than "bullying bad," which everyone, even the worst of bullies, would say if you asked them if bullying is good or bad.)

So yeah. I hate The Glory.

I will say this: as someone who was bullied as a child, as someone who has worked with victims and with bullies themselves... The Glory is offensive, inhuman, and perpetuates every surface-level understanding of what bullying is, who perpetrates it, and who suffers from it. The reality is that portraying bullies as people who are just born bad is wrong. Morally, it's wrong. Issue-wise, it's unhelpful.

I could tell you stories that would make the abuse depicted in The Glory look tame. I could tell you what happened to those kids, and I could tell you about what it was like to protect kids from their bullies at the expense of my own wellbeing. I could tell you how helpless it feels when you know that other authority figures aren't just ignoring it, but actively contributing to bullying kids, and how many hours of sleep I lost working out plans to protect kids so that even if I couldn't save them, they knew someone cared. I'm still in touch with a lot of these kids today, actually.

I could also tell you what it was like to sit with those perpetrators and understand their lives, what motivated them, how goddamn scared and hurt they were, because hurting people hurt people, and know that I couldn't protect them the way every child deserves to be protected. When you've exhausted every legal avenue to save a kid who abused another and there's nothing you can do, how do you live with that? I could tell you what it was like to watch a child attempt suicide in front of me. Except I don't want to violate those kids any more.

I never met any kid whom I thought was doomed to be a perpetual victim or a perpetual bully. I did meet kids who were beyond my help, and the help my associates could get for them, but it should never have gotten to that point.

Even people who like to perpetuate the idea that rich kids are the problem--I've worked with kids who were literally royalty, who flew on private planes, whose parents are Important, and I've worked with the kids whose parents are coolies and who don't ever get fed at their home. You know what's remarkably similar about extreme wealth and extreme poverty? Attachment issues in their kids that lead to behavioral issues, because their parents aren't around for them physically or emotionally. Yes, rich kids still have more options, not denying that at all. But there's an interesting complexity here that could make for an interesting story, but The Glory is more "rich kids bad." Which is just not a particularly interesting or insightful commentary itself.

#ask hamliet #the glory salt #salt #i hate this show so much #granted i did not see part 2 so #there's that!

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jasonsmirrorball · 7 months

Text

TONIGHT YOU ARE MINE: THE PLAYLIST + COMMENTARY

note i spent so much time on this au i thought its soundtrack deserved its own post, and then i realised i wanted to add notes on why i chose each song. i don't think anyone really cares, but this was fun to do so i thought i'd put it here, too.

me, myself & i, 5 seconds of summer

this was a song which i thought really fit the reader's internal struggle throughout this fic, with refusing to accept help and that ultimately being the cause of the breakup.

silver springs - 2004 remaster, fleetwood mac

the document i wrote this fic in was originally titled time may have cast a spell on you (but you won't forget me) for the line in this song. i really liked the idea of this being from jason's point of view during the breakup. the whole 'i know I could have loved you/but you would not let me' felt very fitting for the both of them.

ain't no rest for the wicked, cage the elephant

this song was suggested by fall nonnie when we were first discussing songs that the band might perform, and i loved it so much.

tonight you are mine, the technicolors

another song i think the band would perform, that jason and reader would spend making eyes at each other – probably long before they actually get together.

midnight rain, taylor swift

do i have to explain? i will anyway. just, the idea of chasing success and inadvertently hurting the one that loves you. i think midnight rain is a lot sadder, and obviously a story in its own right that doesn't perfectly fit this fic, but that specific aspect really spoke to me. they get their happy ending in this one.

mess it up, gracie abrams

i think gracie abrams is a queen at writing songs for girls (gn) who do it to themselves, and that was perfect for this fic. 'i keep thinking maybe if you let me back in/we can make it better breaking every habit' is very reader and jason in this fic.

grace, florence + the machine

grace is very much an apology for the platonic aspect of jason + reader's relationship. when they broke up, it wasn't just jason as a boyfriend that they lost, but also their best friend. grace was written to florence welch's younger sister, and it makes me ache so much thinking about this line, 'and you, you were the one i treated the worst/only because you loved me the most'

cassandra, florence + the machine

cassandra. where do i even start? 'they cut out my eyes and sent me home packing/to pace around the kitchen for scraps of inspiration'. the idea of losing your sense of self, the ability to write which you've always had, and then it slipping away from you with one single breath. this was for the reader.

everywhere, everything, noah kahan

another song suggestion from when we were discussing this au. the kind of love jason has for this reader.

why am i like this? orla gartland

another self pitying song for the ones who make mistakes and beat themselves up for it. why am i like this?

october passed me by, girl in red

a sad sort of love song for the sad lovers of this story

doomsday, lizzy mcalpine

a bit angry, jason's perspective during the breakup of not being allowed to make that decision with the reader. of being pushed away, and the underscoring of how much devotion there was before it all fell to pieces. i think he's allowed to be angry, i would be too.

too young, louis tomlinson

this au would not be the au it is without a louis tomlinson song. i think this is from reader's perspective, an apology to jason, for giving in and giving up. i also love louis tomlinson and this song so much. i think that, if the timeline of the breakup had been longer, always you also would have made it onto this playlist. i think it's an honorary song, anyway.

meddle about, chase atlantic

sexy song for jason and reader to make eyes at each other on stage to. but also i listened to this while writing the smut scene so.

#jay my heart #jasonsmirrorball #sweetaurore #guitarist!jason

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carverl · 10 months

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So I recently replayed every mission from the I Expect You To Die franchise to rank them subjectively from worst to best based on my own experience playing them, keep in mind I don't think there is a bad level out of all of these and I've enjoyed each to a certain extent and when Cog in the Machine comes out I'll add the levels from that game into this list (I am not including the tutorials or intro sequences in this seeing as there's no actual gameplay in either of those)

13. Operation: Squeaky Clean - I've never really liked this level due to the tediousness of mixing the chemicals together, finding the right combination of said chemicals through diagrams and the absolute nightmare of trying to put the antivirus into the rocket at the end which I find utterly frustrating not in a "Oh this puzzle is hard to figure out" way but just in how jank it is and being forced to restart after that destroys a piece of my soul every time. That being said I enjoy the window washer gags and the setting is cool, I just wish the mechanics were more fun.

12. Operation: Friendly Skies - This level is very fun with a host of great lines from the Handler, Zor's car is fun to poke around in and the bomb defusal is a classic moment for me. I don't have any issues with this level it's just a bit basic which is totally fine seeing as it's the first proper level in the series but as a result it comes up short next to the following 11.

11. Operation: Seat Of Power - Seeing inside a Zoraxis meeting room and having a switch that drops Zor's henchmen into a firey pit is honestly both hilarious and unsettling, I love using the villain's own gadgets against them. The villain lair atheistic is very nice and the method of escape is perhaps one of the most stylish in the series with the flying chair being a nice touch.

10. Operation: Winter Break - There's something so cozy about this one with the fireplace and snow outside it's got a unique vibe and I find the safe puzzle to be satisfying to crack and the gravity crystals with the lasers at the end adds some great tension, whenever I play this level I always wear the fedora and the lasers always set it on fire which results in a laugh from me everytime.

9. Operation: Stage Fright - We open The Spy and the Liar with a bang in a fun opening level that has a great sense of espionage and discovery in it, setting the stage is fun and the little details of hearing people below you react to the stuff you drop is such a charming detail, I also love the Fabricator's commentary over the headphones. The fight with Zoraxis agents at the end is exhilarating and even though it's hard to miss with the crossbow it still feels good getting a shot in. Also "THIS IS NOT PART OF THE SHOW EVERYBODY RUN!" Is so funny to me and I'm not sure why.

8. Vacation: First Class - If I'm ever in a mood for a laid back level I choose First Class, it's so classy and I will always remember how good it felt figuring out the combination of buttons on the wall by noticing the clues in the environment myself, fending off the assassins, car and plane gives the level a thrilling conclusion that I really enjoy. That being said I did always find the violinist surviving with no explanation when you're lead to believe she's shot a bit strange but it's not enough to detract from my enjoyment.

7. Operation: Eaves Drop - I love the sense of mystery and intrigue this level has to offer, I feel like a real spy snooping about the Fabricator's workshop figuring out the evil scheme, the element of the flashlight adds a lot in terms of roleplaying as Pheonix in that scenario. I just find the whole set up a ton of fun, the music is suitably restrained and I love how it gets more fast paced at certain parts almost like it's reflecting Pheonix getting more excited at the discoveries they're making.

6. Operation: Deep Dive - As someone with thalassophobia I find this level terrifying in the best way, the thought of being trapped at the bottom of the ocean in a cramped, claustrophobic pod gives me incentive to get through the level. The puzzles are great in this one with the grenade and code being real highlights for me, I love the sense of panic that comes over you when you hear the glass crack or the voice crackle. It's just a great level with a uniquely terrifying setting.

5. Operation: Safe and Sound - John Juniper. That's all I need to say about why this level is so great, we get a proper face to face with the villain in a way we hadn't until this level with an amazing monologue that I never skip. The fast pace of this level makes replaying it very fun with the music adding a great sense of urgency, it feels the most like a classic Bond film moment and I love it. Also the way Juniper made Pheonix a sandwich to eat while he's busy going on about world domination is both funny and adorable.

4. Operation: Party Crasher - Going undercover as Juniper's butler while using his own defence system against him? Sign me up, indeed this level is both tense and super entertaining and was I the only one who got really nervous trying to figure which glasses were wine glasses? There's so much I enjoy in this one with using the masks to find a way out, gassing the Zoraxis agents and of course hearing Juniper's voice crack when he sees you wearing his mask is worth a whole heap of points just on that alone.

3. Operation: Death Engine - The sheer scale and spectacle of this level is remarkable with the outer space set piece being a real standout with probably the most difficult puzzles in the series, I love how elements from across the first game come back in this level to make it feel like a proper conclusion. Solaris's presence instead of the Handler gives this level another unique trait and her commentary as you fumble through every option is great. The last bit where you deposit the nuclear box into the station is so tricky to pull off but feels so satsifying when you do with the instrumental theme playing.

2. Operation: Jet Set - Oh my god the amount of fun I have with this one is ridiculous, the setting is great, the music is classy and I adore how it ramps up in intensity at the later bits of the mission. The sense of tangible progression and problem solving is the perfect balance between being difficult and rewarding, figuring out you have to break the window to the plane is such a god tier moment to me with how well presented it is with the missle aporoaching. The amount of ways Juniper tries to kill you is hilarious and his commentary is the best part of the whole operation; how he goes from polite to agitated to downright murderous is great, big props to the voice actor.

1. Operation: Rising Pheonix - This level is no joke one of the best experiences I've had in any game, the stakes of the mission are massive and you really feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders ascending in that elevator. There's so many great moments like with the lift being shot up, using the taser you find on the table saw and hearing an instrumental of the main theme play as you finally confront Juniper. Juniper's death is shocking (pun intended) and hearing Zor's distorted voice is genuinely chilling, no joke my palms were sweating when I was defusing the nuke. Then when you realise you have to sacrifice yourself to save the world with the swelling music oh my god peak gaming experience. It's such a masterpiece of a level and it is in my opinion the best part of both games.

#i expect you to die #ranking #levels #agent phoenix #john juniper #doctor zor #the spy and the liar #behold the peak of my autism #i spent way too long on this

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inkybinkyboink · 1 year

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stepping on thin ice here but looking at all the trans headcanons for breaking bad characters has made me realize how rarely canon trans characters exist just as themselves.

like, in my own experience, every time ive seen a canon trans character in a piece of media, it always has to be a plot point that they are trans. like its some world-shaking piece of information, when in reality, it’s not, and funny enough, the breaking bad trans headcanons prove this.

you could watch all of breaking bad through and through, and better call saul, and el camino with the lens that jesse pinkman is trans, or mike ehrmantraut, or andrea cantillo, and nothing changes. it works, makes reasonable sense, and even adds depth to the character, which is why i think the headcanon is so popular. people get to watch these characters, interpret that they’re genderqueer, and on top of that they get the luxury of not seeing their identities jeopardized on screen.

and this doesnt apply to just breaking bad, it could apply to literally any fandom you want, ive just seen a lot of queer headcanons for breaking bad specifically. i think a lot of people ask for trans characters from writers only to be met with a social commentary on the nature of trans people in the form of a literary character when in reality that’s not what people were asking for. they’re just asking for a person who does their thing or whatever and also happens to be trans, because it shows that for fucks sake, trans people are just people, not some sensationalized media phenomenon.

#breaking bad #brba #better call saul #el camino #jesse pinkman #all opinions are my own #you dont have to agree we can coexist!!!!!!!!!#delete later probably

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munsons-maiden · 2 years

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Jesus I think there is a possibility of Eddie coming back, I don't know if this theory already made it to Tumblr, but, here goes. Eddie was "killed" by Vecna's bats, Eddie, perhaps, could transform into Kas. In D&D Kas is a human vampire loyal to Vecna who then betrays him. The song "Master of Puppets" could be a reference to this, plus the day the guys played D&D, Mike said "I thought Kas killed Vecna" (1/2).

Maybe Eddie won't become a vampire as such, but, maybe he'll get something like super strength or a connection to Vecna like Will. It's a theory, it's okay to dream, if Eleven revived Max, I don't see how this can't happen. I got the theory from a video from a youtube channel called "Stranger Things clips", more specifically from the commentary posted in the video "Eddie's Introduction". (2/2)

I hope it’s okay to sum up these asks in one post 🖤

I saw the tiktok to this theory and when you sent these messages, I did a little deep dive into D&D lore (so sorry that it took me a while to reply!) and holy hell. This is genius.

Because every single puzzle piece of foreshadowing Eddie's fate in ST4 also perfectly fits this theory.

I'll sum up everything from these two asks to sort it out in my head and add what I found out in my research where it fits just because this theory got me absolutely HYPED.

The D&D game. Mike: "Vecna was killed by Kas!" - Eddie: "So it was thought, my friends. So it was thought. But Vecna...LIVES!" & the fact that Dustin rolled an 11 which wasn't enough to defeat Vecna, then Erica rolled a 20 and defeated him: it's common knowledge at this point that the D&D games always foreshadowed the seson's plot (like "I rolled a 7. The Demogorgon...it got me" in season 1 and 5 minutes later the Demogorgon gets Will); and I am only one of many other blogs to point out the seeming importance of this D&D game in ST4. The first half has come true: Vecna still lives, 11/El couldn't defeat him. That was the end of season 4.

The whole connection and the amount of references to Kas in ST4: the whole "drive a stake through his heart"-convo at Skull Rock; the bats; the one-handed blade and shield? Check; the bat tattoos? Check. Thematically, Eddie is very much linked to Kas, whose name was important enough to bring it up in the dialogue during the D&D game in Episode 1.

Kas spent time close to the Negative Energy Plane (!!) and thus got transformed into a vampire (I hope I got the facts straight here). Eddie died in a dark parallel dimension which mirrors our real world - basically a Negative Energy Plane.

Eddie's tattoos, as you said: The thing is, these tattoos could have been simple foreshadowing for his death - as well as foreshadowing for whatever happens after. I'm intrigued. Is the puppeteer tattoo simply a foreshadowing for the song Master Of Puppets - or are both foreshadowing for Eddie becoming Vecna's puppet? Are the bats on his arm simply foreshadowing for the cause of his death - or do they connect him to Kas the human vampire?

I already said that in Eddie's case, resurrection would be way more meaningful than a permanent death, no matter how heroic this death has been.

It would be such a perfect storyline for ST5 if - as both of you already said - Vecna, weakened and semi-defeated for now, used his own powers to resurrect Eddie the same way El resurrected Max; only to turn him into his puppet first (flay him). It would raise the stakes because not only would they need to defeat Vecna, but free Eddie from his control as well.

I'm honest; I don't think the Duffers had the intention to do this, and it's absolutely hilarious how all the foreshadowing and symbolism for Eddie's tragic end would be a perfect foreshadowing for his resurrection and eventual happy ending as well.

On one hand, as I said, I don't believe they planned to do it - but everything, from the tattoos over the choice of weapons in his fight against the bats to the sketchy two-days-later time skip telling us they had to leave Eddie's body in the UD, would be a perfect way to actually write this into ST5 should they realize their mistake and decide to bring him back. Or they're just really convincing liars and Eddie's story was never meant to end in ST4.

No matter what, if there was a plan to bring him back from the beginning, I'd bet money on it that it's this one. And if they didn't plan to bring him back but realize they want to/should...the theory is literally free real estate and none of us would even know whether they just got lucky with unintended foreshadowing or if it was planned all along.

It's as if fate itself wanted Eddie back alive and kicking.

#kiki answers #stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #stranger things 4 spoilers #st4 spoilers #stranger things 5

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kaibutsushidousha · 1 year

Note

Can you rate all 2021 & 2022 silhouette Servants?

1) Morgan is my 3rd favorite Servant in the whole game and pretty sure she already has her own post explaining why. The Morgan-Arthuria-Fujimaru-Oberon quartet parallels are really the best part of Avalon le Fae.

2) Another member of my level 100 crew. Taigong was my most requested Servant at the time of his release and what we got of him is certainly in line with what I wanted. Goofy but capable. Thoughtful except when his fear of disappointing gets the better of him. Great taste in waifus. All in all, I can proudly say that's the tactician I asked for.

3) Jue was one of the big stars of Traum along with Roland and Xu Fu. He's as pragmatic and ruthless as he can get but the narrative is no less sympathetic to his motives, ideals, and lifetime failures. Regardless of whether or not the Master he's so devoted to turns out to be an Olga Marie piece in some way, Zhang Jue still has a very important place in the overall narrative as someone whose story and character reflects Olga's own perhaps even better than Douman does.

4) Kagekiyo is perhaps the most successful example of a mixed Servant because Heian gave them a very emotionally powerful character moment as Yoshitsune (Kintoki's best opponent in Heian) while the Kamakura event gave them an equally powerful moment as Kagekiyo proper. Both sides are covered evenly and covered well. Kagekiyo proper is my favorite character in the Ushiwakamaru circle of characters (low bar, but I do like them a lot).

5) Homietrot is my friend. Homietrot is your friend. She's always there being devoted and positive when Morgan and Mash need her. I'm extremely glad she became a permanent addition to the main cast.

6) Miss Crane's event is very rightfully criticized for being a mishmash of idol fandom memes, but Crane herself is one part that's undeniably written with a heart. Also, her design is gorgeous, her less dignified expressions are excellent, her relationships to both her original Master and Romani made me feel things, and her Noble Phantasm is one of my favorites.

7) Quixote and Sancho have their bad jokes along the way but are overall a fun comedy duo with poignant character moments for both of them individually, a neat role in the narrative, insightful commentary about their own nature and how it reflects on other characters, and one of the most soulful profiles in the whole game. Sancho was all in all one of the best ideas possible for this character.

8) Kriemhild already has her own post about her part in Traum, so I'll just add that she's being pretty well-used in interludes and events.

9) Kiichi has a fun personality, is easy to mock as every Sakurai fetish combined, and provided the tengu lore that made me go insane at least twice, but the star of her debut is clearly Kagekiyo so she's a bit on the forgettable side as her own character (as opposed to as the representative of tengus).

10) Bakin speaks funny, had meaningful things to say about Chaldea's role in part 2, and rightfully calls Hokusai a shithead. He's a character I could love if he was a less boring event.

11) Feihu is an always welcome addition to the Investiture of the Gods crew but they kinda did nothing with him beyond "dad" and the stupidest questions about loyalty. It's a shame they sacrificed Tianhua's chances for a solo Servant debut, but the family gimmick was imo worth it.

12) Caren is Caren. Not even her memes are new. Welcome presence as a new member of the NagiKama friend circle, but it was it is.

13) Lostbelt Percival is one of those Avalon le Fae cast members I paid the least attention to. His opinion on fae is a thing I agree with, though. Can't comment on Pan-Human Percival because I'll only buy the first Aslaug novel next month.

14) Constantine had a charming relationship and an excellent death scene in Traum, but in both cases, Joan was the better side of it. Likewise in his epic duel, Quixote was the better side of it for such a wide margin it ain't even funny.

15) The Trung sisters certainly existed but not nearly as much as the Cons existed (and still constantly exist in merch). All I can say is congratulations to the Vietnamese fans.

16) Tametomo was a minor character in Traum, then he got a main part in his debut event and I still feel Traum did more for his character than the event did.

17) Galatea has cool pants, which are great but not great enough to compensate for her coming in and out of her debut event completely unaware of what was going on with Aphrodite. If she's going to be a side dish to an Olympian we'll never have, at least let her be emotionally involved with it.

18) Baobhan Sith's Eliza-like visuals are very significant: her whole character concept is "what if Eliza's character arc simply ended in CCC chapter 2 instead of evolving into the perfect redemption arc presented in chapters 5 and 7". Unfortunately, I can't care much about an undercooked version of a great character. At least she's good as an example of how Beryl works.

19) Huyan Zhuo is impressively obnoxious and about the most gratuitous and undignified FGO has gotten with waifubait. She's a good fit for her role of less mature foil for the baby version of Elizabeth Bathory but still solid placed on my bottom 5 Servants.

#fate grand order

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