#and was so healthy and happy before this happened
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𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 | 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙖𝙢
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: you haven’t been feeling good. but what happens when jude connects the dots?
𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: dad!jude x fem!reader
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: signs of vomit/ throwing up
You and Jude start your day early, around 6:30 AM. The sun is just beginning to rise, casting a gentle glow through the curtains of your cozy home in Madrid. You nudge Jude gently, the both of you smiling as you hear the soft murmurs of your two-year-old son, Caleb, waking up in the next room.
You slip out of bed, heading to the kitchen to start breakfast and prepare Caleb's lunch for nursery. The kitchen is warm and inviting, filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. You expertly slice fruits, spread peanut butter on bread, and pack a healthy lunch for Caleb. Meanwhile, you hum a cheerful tune, occasionally glancing at the photos of your happy moments on the refrigerator.
Jude, still a bit groggy but smiling, makes his way to Caleb's room. He opens the door to find Caleb standing in his crib, wide-eyed and giggling with excitement. "Good morning, champ!" Jude says, scooping him up into his arms. He changes Caleb's diaper, tickling him slightly to keep the little boy's spirits high.
Once dressed, Jude helps Caleb into his favorite little football-themed outfit, a gift from one of his teammates.
They join you in the kitchen, where you had set out a nutritious breakfast for them.
Caleb babbles happily as you feed him pieces of fruit and yogurt.
Jude pours himself a cup of coffee, sharing a quick kiss with you and exchanging smiles filled with love.
"Good morning, my loves! Did you sleep well, Caleb?" You asked, smiling widely.
"Mornin', Mommy!“ was what Caleb babbled.
"He was so excited to wake up today. I think he knew it was nursery day." Jude told you, softly kissing the back of your hand
"He's been looking forward to seeing his friends. Here, let's get some breakfast in you both." You said as you started feeding Caleb again.
You sit at the kitchen table, Caleb in his high chair, eagerly reaching for his food.
You suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over you. Putting your hand over your mouth lightly, trying to steady your breathing.
“You okay, baby?” Jude asked next to you, putting his hand on your thigh.
“I don’t know if just don’t feel so good right now.” You answered, looking at him.
“Okay, go lay down i’ll get Caleb ready don’t worry. Should I cancel training?” Jude asked you.
“No, no. It’s not an emergency. You go to training. You’ll take Caleb to nursery on your way, please? I’ll go lay down some more. Thank you babe.” You said, kissing Jude and Caleb, standing up and walking up the stairs with your slightly shaking legs.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you washed up and going.” Was the last thing you heard from downstairs before falling into a deep slumber under your sheets.
———
Jude turned the key in the lock, gently pushing open the door with Caleb in his arms. The house was shrouded in darkness, and he carefully navigated the familiar path to the living room, his eyes gradually adjusting to the dim light.
"Shh, buddy," he whispered to Caleb, who clung to him sleepily. "Looks like Mommy's still resting."
He set Caleb down, and the little boy toddled off to find his toys. Jude made his way to the bedroom, opening the door slowly to check on you. You were still curled up under the covers, your breathing deep and slow. He could see the pallor in your face even in the low light and felt a pang of concern.
Quietly, he backed out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. Back in the living room, Caleb had already begun to scatter his toys across the floor. Jude smiled tiredly at the sight, then headed to the kitchen.
He quickly prepared a simple dinner, heating up some soup he had made the night before. He wanted to keep it light for you, knowing you wouldn't have much of an appetite. Once everything was ready, he brought a tray to the bedroom, nudging the door open with his foot.
"(Y/N), love," he whispered, placing the tray on the nightstand. "I've got some soup for you."
You stirred, your eyes fluttering open. You gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, Jude. You didn't have to."
"Of course I did," he replied, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing a strand of hair from your face. "How are you feeling?"
"Still not great," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jude's heart ached seeing you like this. "Do you want me to call the doctor?"
"No, I think I just need to rest," you said. "Thank you for taking care of everything."
Jude leaned down and kissed your forehead. "I'll handle it. You just focus on getting better."
You gave a small nod, your eyes already closing again. Jude quietly left the room, closing the door behind him. Back in the living room, he found Caleb busy with his toys, his giggles a comforting background noise.
Jude settled on the couch, keeping one eye on Caleb and another on his phone, ready to call the doctor if your condition didn't improve. He found it weird since you’ve been fine this whole time.
Later, you descended the stairs slowly, your empty soup plate in hand.
You moved carefully, trying not to disrupt the fragile equilibrium you had maintained throughout the day. Your stomach churned uncomfortably as you approached the living room, where Jude and Caleb were playing.
Jude glanced up, his face lighting up with a smile that quickly faded into a look of concern when he saw your pallor.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jude asked, rising to meet you, his hand gently touching your arm.
You gave a weak smile. "Still not great. I thought the soup might help, but..."
Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit you, and you instinctively covered your mouth, your eyes wide.
The scent of something — perhaps a lingering whiff from Caleb’s snacks or Jude's cologne — made your stomach rebel.
Jude, noticing your distress, quickly ushered Caleb to his feet.
"Caleb, let's put away the toys for a bit, okay? Mommy needs some quiet time," he said, his voice calm but urgent.
Caleb, sensing the seriousness, nodded and began gathering his toys. Before Jude could turn back to you, you rushed to the nearest bathroom. Jude followed closely, his worry deepening as he heard you retching.
He found you kneeling by the toilet, pale and trembling. "I’m here, (Y/N)," he said softly, rubbing your back in slow, comforting circles. "It’s okay. Just let it out.
You groaned between bouts of vomiting, the smell that had triggered your nausea still lingering in your mind.
Finally, the retching subsided, and you slumped back against Jude, who handed you a glass of water he’d fetched from the sink.
“Thanks,” you whispered, your voice weak. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Probably just a bug,” Jude said, helping you to your feet. “Let’s get you back to bed. You need to rest.”
You nodded gratefully, leaning on Jude as he guided you back upstairs, his concern for you evident in every careful step.
As Jude helped you back upstairs, his mind raced with worry. He laid you gently on the bed, arranging the pillows to make you comfortable. As he did, he noticed you wincing slightly, your face still pale.
"Baby, do you remember what smell made you feel so sick?" Jude asked gently, brushing a strand of hair away from your forehead.
You thought for a moment, your brow furrowing. "It was… I think it was the smell of Caleb's peanut butter sandwich. It just hit me all of a sudden."
Jude's eyes widened slightly as a thought crossed his mind.
He recalled the last time you had been this sensitive to certain smells. It had been when you were pregnant with Caleb. Could it be happening again?
"My Love," he began cautiously, "do you think there’s a chance you might be pregnant?"
You blinked, the question catching you off guard. "I… I don't know. I suppose it's possible. I’ve been feeling off for a few days now."
Jude nodded, his concern mingling with a glimmer of excitement. "Maybe we should get a test, just to be sure."
You managed a small smile, your hand resting on your stomach. "Yeah, I think that’s a good idea."
Jude squeezed your hand reassuringly. "I'll run to the pharmacy and get one. You just rest, okay?"
As you closed her eyes, Jude leaned down and kissed your forehead. He felt a mixture of worry and hope as he headed out the door, ready to find out if your family was about to grow.
Back in the living room, Jude quickly tidied up, clearing away the remnants of Caleb’s snack and any other potential triggers for your nausea. He found Caleb sitting quietly on the couch, sensing the unusual tension.
"Dad, Mommy okay?" Caleb asked, his big eyes filled with concern.
Jude knelt down beside him. "Mommy's not feeling well right now, buddy. I need to go out for a bit to get something that might help her feel better. Can you be a good boy and stay here quietly until I get back?"
Caleb nodded solemnly. "I can do that."
Jude gave him a reassuring hug before grabbing his keys and heading out. The drive to the pharmacy felt longer than usual, his mind racing with possibilities. Once he arrived, he quickly located a pregnancy test and made his way back home, his heart pounding with anticipation.
When he returned, he found you dozing lightly, your breathing steady. He set the test on the nightstand and gently woke you up.
"Baby, I got the test," he whispered, helping you sit up slowly. "Do you feel up to taking it now?
You nodded, your eyes meeting his with a mixture of anxiety and hope.
Jude helped you to the bathroom, steadying you with each step.
After a few moments, you emerged, the test in your hand.
"Now we wait," you said softly, your voice trembling slightly.
Jude wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you sat on the edge of the bed.
"No matter what, we'll face it together," he whispered, kissing the top of your head.
You sat in silence, the seconds ticking by slowly. Finally, you glanced at the test, your eyes widening.
"Jude... it's positive," you breathed.
A flood of emotions washed over Jude as he hugged you tightly, tears of joy and relief mingling with the worry.
"We're going to be parents again," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.
You smiled through your own tears, feeling a renewed sense of hope and strength. "Yes, we are."
You stayed like that for a while, holding each other.
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham fanfic#judespoets
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🏀❤️🩹🏕
sunshine!Steve x grumpy!fem!reader
cw: mention of blood
When you had signed up to be a camp counselor for the summer, you hadn’t expected Steve Harrington to be there. If you had known, you definitely wouldn’t have gone to that particular camp. There was something about him that rubbed you the wrong way. It was almost as if he seemed too happy and you didn’t like that. With him, there was always something to look forward to and maybe you just didn’t like him because you were jealous.
Despite your dislike for him, he was always nice to you when you were both in school. He’d greet you with in the cafeteria with that megawatt smile and you’d grimace, but that would never deter him. In fact, he’d just smile wider, as if the look on your face made him happy.
But it didn’t. Seeing you always so angry upset Steve. He wanted to get to the bottom of it. To know what was making you tick and how he could fix that. He had been that way for a years after everything that had happened in the Upside Down and after he had found healthy ways to cope with it, he tried his best to help others around him.
He sat next to you every day for every meal and you’d just brush him off. You didn’t need friends. You just wanted to be alone, which was ironic since you had decided to spend your summer around a bunch of kids. But Steve wasn’t going to give up. He was going to sit there every day until you finally talked to him.
The day you did finally speak, you turned to him long enough to utter the words “fuck off” before turning back to your tray. After that, Steve decided to leave you alone for a while.
He watched you from afar, smiling to himself as he saw you interact with the campers. His heart warmed seeing you help one of them out with an injury. One of the girls had fallen on her way inside the lodge for dinner and scraped her knee and you had been quick to react, taking a first aid kit from the backpack you had carried and wiped the debris out of her cut along with the blood that had run down her leg.
You were talking to her the whole time, trying to distract her from the pain and it worked like a charm. You asked her what her favorite color was and she seemed very passionate about pink, blush pink to be specific. She talked about it the entire five minutes you cleaned her up and you nodded along, agreeing that it was a great color.
Once your work was done, you helped her up from the ground and she decided that she wanted to sit next to you for dinner which you had no problem agreeing to. She seemed to be a loner just like you and you were happy to have someone who you got along with.
You sat at the table and waited for Clementine who was in line getting her food. Steve stood in front of her and helped her pile her plate high with the options that were available that night. You watched him lean down to talk to her, that stupid fucking smile making its way onto his face. You got this weird feeling in your chest as you watched him help her, the smile on both their faces as he did so.
Once they had their food, Clementine grabbed Steve by the hand and pulled him right over to the table where you were sitting. You tried your hardest to keep your smile on your face as he approached you.
The tension was high and Steve wasn't sure how to approach the situation. He wanted to sit with Clem since she had been so eager, but now that you were in the equation, he wasn't so sure. He was still trying to be respectful.
"Y/n, look who's going to sit with us!" She exclaimed as she got to your table with Steve's wrist in her hand. You bit back a laugh at how awkward the man looked. For someone who used to have the word "king" tacked onto his name, he definitely didn't seem very confident. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there and you felt the same.
"Hey, Clem, he started to say, knowing that you didn't want him to sit with you, but you cut him off before he could finish his sentence.
"Take a seat, Stevie," you said as you pulled out the chair to the left of yours. Not only were you calling him by the nickname that he loved, but you also were letting him sit with you? What alternate dimension had he entered? Definitely not the Upside Down. This dimension was much nicer since it had you in it.
Steve hesitantly set his plate on the table and sat down next you, your chairs dangerously close to one another, but you weren't going to admit that you liked it. You could feel his eye's on you, but you ignored him. You weren't going to let him win.
You got up from your seat to throw your plate away, but there was something slippery on the floor, causing you to slip. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for the fall, but it never came. Someone had caught you. You were so grateful that you had been saved that you had to know who had caught you.
You opened your eyes to be met by the warm honey ones you had become familiar with over the summer. Steve helped you to your feet and you looked at him, his eyes boring into yours as he searched them for any sign of discomfort. You liked that he wanted to protect you and you knew you had to nip that right in the bud. You couldn’t be with him as much as you wanted to. You just couldn’t.
You pushed Steve’s hands off of you and stepped away, feeling yourself bubbling with anger as you watched his face contort into even more concern. He stepped forward and you stepped back, putting you hands out we he’d keep his distance.
“Stay away from me, Harrington,” you told him before fleeing the lodge. You could still feel the way his arms held you and felt even more angry that you kind of liked it.
What was Steve’s deal. Why was he playing at? He was still so nice to you despite your dislike for him and you didn’t like that you were slowly warming up to him. That he was starting to that’s your frozen heart bit by bit.
You went to your cabin and got ready for bed even though it was still light outside, trying not to think about him and his pretty smile or his beautiful brown eyes that made you melt when they looked into yours. You weren’t falling for him. You just weren’t. You never would have worked out anyway. You were just too different. The complete opposite of each other.
You got into your bunk and your mind drifted to Steve, the moment where he caught you replaying over and over in your head. You were starting to feel bad for the way you treated him. He was just trying to help and you blew up at him. You didn’t think you deserved his niceness.
You tossed and turned the entire night, wondering how Steve was doing and if you still had time to apologize for being so rude to him. Somehow, you just knew that he’d forgive you.
You couldn’t sleep, your guilt of being rude to Steve practically the entire summer eating you alive. You checked the clock and saw that there was only an hour before everyone would be up so you got out of your bunk and sneaked out the door to the lodge for some early breakfast.
You slowly crept inside and noticed a box of cereal out on the counter, feeling your stomach growl as you thought about having a bowl of the stuff. You went to grab the box only to find someone else in the kitchen with you. Steve. Maybe now was your chance to finally apologize.
“Hey,” he smiled and you still weren’t used to the fact that he was a morning person. How someone could be that chipper at 7:00 AM, you didn’t know.
“Hi, Steve,” you grumbled and Steve reached for the cereal and poured you a bowl before holding it out to you. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” he smiled before passing you the milk and a spoon. “Do you want some orange juice?”
“Sure,” you nodded and he grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and set it on the counter before reaching for two glasses from the cabinet that was behind him. He turned his head towards you and watched you stretch, your t-shirt riding up as you did so. He was so distracted that the glass in the hand fell to the floor and shattered into many pieces.
Your head jerked in his direction and you rounded the counter, no wanted to get hurt in the glass. The cabinet managed to close on its own, whacking Steve in the forehead. He clutched it in pain and you pulled him backwards to get him to a safe zone.
You swept up the glass and got rid of it before checking on Steve to make sure that he was okay. You noticed a little blood on his forehead. You pulled him over to the sink and grabbed the first aid kit that was under it. You grabbed an alcohol wipe and wiped away the blood causing Steve to wince at the stinging sensation it brought.
“Sorry.”
“That’s alright. You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know,” you nodded. “But I want to.”
“You do?”
“I’m sorry, Steve. For everything. I was a bitch and-”
“You weren’t a bitch. You had created boundaries and I crossed them.”
“I told you to fuck off when you were just being nice. You can say that I was a bitch, alright? And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away when all you were trying to do was be my friend.”
“It’s okay,” he put his hands over yours, his honey eyes looking into yours and you could see how serious he was. He was forgiving you and it was time for you to forgive yourself. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course you can.”
“I really like you.” Out of all of the things he could have said, that definitely wasn’t what you were expecting. His tone made it seem like he wasn’t meaning liking you as a friend.
“I really like you too,” you replied and his eyes widened at your confession. His mouth was agape and you supposed that it was shocking that his feelings were reciprocated considering your supposed hatred for him. “I feel like I have for a long time but I was afraid to let you in. Getting close to people is scary, but I’m not scared anymore.”
“Are you saying that you want to start something with me?”
“I’d really like that,” you nodded and Steve smiled, warming your heart.
“I’d really like that too,” he smiled back and you put a bandaid on his injury before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a sweet kiss.
#steve harrington#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington smut#steve harrington fluff#sunshine!Steve#grumpy!reader
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saudade love 🫧
pilot ; you’re my lover <3
pairing : actor!soobin and actress!yn
love triangles :(
synopsis : actress!yn and actor!soobin are forced by their companies to date as a publicity stunt to promote their latest releases. however what’s to happen when yn and soobin spend more and more time together even though yn’s closest friend is keeping secrets.
“last question..” the mc announces before letting a reporter take the lead on the final question.
“soobin and yn, throughout the filming process of saudade love. the two of you were rumored to be seeing each other as more than just friends, can we get some kind of response to that ?” the reporter in front of you asks. you and soobin sitting on a theater-like stage, two high chairs next to each other. while on the other side of the stage was the director of saudade love, and a few supporting cast members.
saudade love was the new film that you had just starred in, alongside soobin, who played the main male lead. the plot was a story about yn meeting chaebol soobin. issues arising within yn’s family, which end up harming her relationship with soobin. never being able to get an end to her family’s ruthless behavior towards her, she only seems to find comfort in soobin. soobin, who comes from a wealthy family, is forced into a marriage, any kind of rebellious actions from soobin during the wedding is covered up. soobin ends up giving in, yn ends up even more hurt as it gets harder and harder to keep their secretive relationship as a healthy relationship. however, the two still only seem to feel happy around each other, the only issue being each other’s families. yet it is enough to keep them apart.
you knew that there were going to be issues with your so-called ‘controversial’ ending, since it wasn’t necessarily a happy ending, not many people were too pleased. but there was another majority of people, or rather yours and soobins fans, that enjoyed the movie due to its rawness. not every single relationship was going to end in the most fairytale way. which was exactly what saudade love’s message was trying to deliver, although it seemed to go over others’ heads.
you laugh a bit into the microphone, knowing exactly what you were supposed to do and how your company wanted you to react. taking the microphone up close to your lips, not exactly letting the two touch. you put on a flushed image, as you turn to look to soobin, who also knew his part of the live script the two of you were supposed to follow. his lips turning upwards, attempting to look rather confident about the situation, and it was working.. after all he was an actor.
“me and soobin…” you pause, taking a second to smile to yourself. looking up instead of looking at the crowd full of photographers, reporters, and journalists, a few fans in the crowd as well. “i thought we had announced a response, but i suppose not. me and soobin have been seeing each other. something about us during filming saudade love.. it just seemed to click.. we’re a few dates into our relationship but i hope that everyone will support us and our decision to be together.”
and with that, the crowd cheers, journalists and reporters typing as quick as they can. photographers snapping their pictures to use on articles that are probably being released within the next second. soobin grinned, bringing his mic up to his mouth. the image of two lovestruck actors up on stage manipulating the minds of the entire media. you looked at soobin with a tiny smile on your face. putting your best heart eyes on display.
“i think the people who have seen saudade love will notice, but the love that the two characters display is not something you can act out..” it’s funny, because he’s completely spewing out nonsense. the two of you are just convincing actors, using all the skills you’ve learned to play out your character. “at one point during filming, i stopped thinking of the script and i just started seeing yn as yn, no character or anything. i think our relationship was inevitable. yn was the sweetest person i could ever meet.” that’s a lie, well you weren’t necessarily mean, but the two of you never even spoke outside of necessary means. “i turned to her when i needed help, and she was always there to listen. not to mention, anytime yn was around, i couldn’t help but feel a certain way..” soobin grinned shyly, trying to convince everyone that he was simply too shy to continue on. which worked as majority of the audience were in complete awe.
the mc picks up his own mic, “let’s give a round of applause to our newly discovered couple !!” he pauses letting the crowd take over with their clapping, “since that was our last question, the cast and crew will give their goodbyes now !”
you stood up along with everyone, giving a bow to thank the crowd for their time and attention. afterwards you link pinkies with soobin, attempting to keep up the image of the new shy couple.
release date: tba !!
an : AHHHH!! so happy to be back, i feel quite refreshed since im back after seeing txt…. three times 😁😁 BUT im so ready to put out posts, remember how i said i was gonna pre-write ? well that didn’t work out because i had like 0 inspiration, i feel like i work better under pressure…
taglist (send asks !) : @run2seob @soobadooba @mrsyawnzzn @matcha-binz @taehyhunnzly @20crowsinahoodie @lun4kazumii
#tomorrow x together#txt#txt imagines#txt fluff#tomorrow x together imagine#txt yeonjun#txt beomgyu#txt soobin#txt taehyun#txt x reader#txt hueningkai#txt imagine#txt smau#txt huening kai#saudade love 🫧#txt soobin x reader#txt soobin fluff#soobin fic#tomorrow x together soobin#soobin scenarios#soobin fluff#soobin x reader#choi soobin#soobin imagines#soobin#soobie boobie#new smau !!#hwang yeji#itzy yeji#yeji
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Short about romantic yandere Blitzø in which his darling(who is a fellow imp btw) tries to break up with him because they can't stand his toxic behavior anymore. That makes Blitzø very upset. What happens next is up to you.
Based on what happens in the newest episode... here's some angst that takes place in an AU after that. Watching the newest episode and discussing with @okchijt helped a lot for motivation.
Push Me Away
Yandere Blitzø with Imp! Darling Short
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Hella Angst, Possessive behavior, Mature themes (Such as vague mentions of NSFW and cursing), Delusional behavior, Biting, Fear of abandonment, Toxic relationship, Consensual turned forced relationship.
He couldn't ever be happy, could he?
Blitz was a mess when Stolas broke things off with him. Granted, it wasn't healthy, yet Blitz just wanted to feel wanted... needed! So for a long time, he pushed other people away once again.
But... you? You were determined to help him. As an imp working at I.M.P, you hated to see Blitz in such a state. Blitz originally found your persistence annoying. He didn't want to rely on anyone anymore.
However... the idea of you wanting him made his heart flutter.
Blitz felt... safer with you than Stolas. After all, he knows you won't use him. You're both imps, both bottom of the chain. Blitz couldn't help but accept your comfort once you wore him down.
When you came up to him one night, he really did try to push you away. He curled up on the couch, not willing to talk. However, you said nothing and sat beside him.
As much as he hated to admit it, he needed this. In that moment he felt he needed you. You most likely got the message the moment his tail wrapped around your waist.
He can't be alone.
Your comfort for the next few days started small. Sitting there with him, offering an embrace, small things. Blitz actually didn't find your behavior condescending... he felt at home.
A month later after the 'Stolas incident', something sparked between you. Blitz hadn't realized he needed you until your embraces became... heated. Perhaps you both had a feeling it was a rebound waiting to happen... yet went through with it.
You had realized you loved one another fully after your first heated night. Intimacy such as that was Blitz's form of comfort. It felt... right to be in your arms, intertwined with you.
It took him so long before he finally untangled your tails that night... oh you were just so much smaller than him....
Your actions made your feelings clear before your words could. It wasn't until after that Blitz heard you admit to it. His heart clenched when he felt you hold his face, a grin on your lips.
"I love you, Blitz."
That was all he wanted to hear from you. To hear from someone, anyone, that he was loved like this... he craved it. After that, he never stopped holding you.
Now he finally had what he wanted.
After that, a relationship bloomed. Perhaps too quickly... but you both didn't care. All that mattered was the two of you.
Blitz felt overjoyed with you. You and him, two imps together, he felt it was perfect. Blitz always made sure to give you the world.
You were always together in the day, along with entangled at night. Blitz worried he was using you to soothe himself. But when you kissed him at night, pleading for him, he didn't care.
Your relationship went on for months. Blitz was sure to take many pictures throughout it. He adored it when you clung to him.
He never wants to let go.
However, due to how fast things started, patterns began to show. It wasn't going to be all sunshine and roses for long. You quickly began to realize Blitz was demanding...
All because he didn't want to lose you.
Blitz has had bad experiences with relationships in the past. Determined to not let you leave him, Blitz is eager to please. Be that gifts, dates, or even in bed...
He'd sacrifice everything for you.
Unfortunately, you began to see the issues. You realized this was yet another toxic relationship for Blitz before him. You loved him... but guilt poisoned you.
Blitz was possessive of you. His tail is always tight around you during the day along with his teeth buried in your flesh at night. He wanted to make sure you couldn't leave him...
That you'd always be his.
As much as you loved Blitz, you couldn't put up with his behavior anymore. You knew his behavior was reasonable. Yet you didn't want to put him through something bad again.
You want to let him go because you love him. You don't want to be his unhealthy coping mechanism. You love him... but don't want him to be smothering.
You know that he needs you... but it can't be like this.
As expected, confrontation is nerve-wracking... and volatile.
"Sweetheart~!" Blitz coos as he approaches you, curling up on the couch beside you. His claws and tail wrap around you as he takes in your scent. "How's my favorite imp doing~?"
You're silent, confusing Blitz for a moment. As if in an attempt to recapture your attention, he nuzzles into your neck. That's okay... maybe a mission made you a bit upset?
You have seemed... off lately.
"Blitz..." You whisper, the imp perking at his name rolling off your lips.
"Yes, baby? Love it when you say my name like that..." Blitz groans, tail tightening as he gives you what looks like bedroom eyes.
"You know I love you... right?" You continue, Blitz never taking his gaze off you.
"Mhm...!" He answers, tongue darting out to lap at your skin.
"Then... you know whatever I do is out of love for you, right?" You lightly press him off you, Blitz frowning but complying.
"Yeah...?" Blitz answers again, his expression now just confused.
"Then... Please listen to me, okay?" You ask, Blitz nodding while he watches you intently.
This hurts... Why must it hurt?
"Blitz... I have to end this." You whisper, not daring to look at him.
"... what?" Blitz asks quietly, taken aback. He... He did everything right, didn't he!? What's wrong now!?
"I'm ending this not because I don't love you..." You whisper, barely able to look at his eyes as you unwrap his tail from you. "But you love me too much... you can't stay away from me... I need space!"
Then... things are quiet.
"I... I what...?" Blitz murmurs, not understanding what you mean.
"This is bad for us Blitz... you deserve better-" You stand up from the couch, tail wrapping around your waist in an attempt to comfort yourself.
"No... no no no no, you have to be joking, right!?" Blitz pleads, standing up. "Deserve better...? You're the best thing that's happened to me!"
"Blitz, we can't, you-"
"Don't you dare turn your fucking back on me...!"
You freeze at the growl in Blitz's voice, the larger imp glaring down at you. You turn to face him, not expecting the sudden hostility. He doesn't even give you a chance to speak before he's stepping closer.
"I'm so sick and tired of others thinking they know what's best for me...! I ALONE know what's best for me!" Blitz roars, "Do you really fucking think I'll let you leave me like Stolas did? Just so you can tell me to essentially go FUCK myself!?"
"Blitz-"
"Cut the SHIT!" Blitz yells, tears pricking his eyes. "I'm not losing you like I did the others. You are NOT leaving me. Come on, I can convince you, can't I?"
You're pressed against the wall, Blitz's tail wrapping around you as he cages you in. His eyes hold so much emotion... all desperate yet angry. Your attempts to "help" him only make him worse.
He just knew you were going to leave him... that's what made him possessive in the first place...
You can't fix him.
"Baby..." Blitz murmurs, ignoring your scared gaze. "It's going to be okay... we'll just continue what we did before. We'll have another night together, kiss, make up, maybe fu-"
"I'm not happy with this, Blitz...! I can't keep lying to you...!" You plead, making Blitz pause his actions for just a moment.
"... I can do better. I can BE better...!" Blitz pleads, eyes never leaving your scared ones. "Just... tell me how to improve, okay? I'll listen..."
Blitz's grip is tighter as he pulls you back to the couch. You want to fight him... but can't bring yourself to. Yet again Blitz has found himself another toxic relationship.
To him, it's better than being alone.
"Do you want more dates? More cuddles? Is the bedroom not exciting enough? Work with me here... please..." Blitz murmurs, pulling you on top of him on the couch.
"I want you to give me space..." You whisper, breath hitching when his grip tightens more. "Is it so hard to push me away...?"
"YES!" Blitz snaps, gaze desperate. "I don't want to let you go... I don't want to be alone... I want you to want me..."
Blitz then grabs your chin, his look making your heart ache...
"I need you to need me..."
With that, Blitz kisses you... and you kiss back...
But no matter how many passionate nights you have together to hide the pain...
You're both bad for one another... like every relationship Blitz has ever had... yet he won't let you go this time.
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I know I said I was going to take a break from TSAMS, and I probably will double down even harder on that after what just happened in today's episode... but I just couldn't help myself after seeing posts from some of my mutuals and their followers.
Rant below. If you do read, please take it with a grain of salt--there is probably context I've missed since I haven't been keeping up with the series the way I used to considering how disappointed I've been with the direction the story has seemed to be heading for quite a while now.
Immediate thoughts:
Way to not tell Old Moon the whole story, Monty. Especially after hearing him tell you he has no idea who Solar is. You know perfectly well that New Moon is in this state, negatively interacting with his family, precisely because he is still trying to help another family member. Solar is family! Family who everyone else is grieving! You are intentionally leaving out tons of context, and at this point I am still half convinced you're doing it because you, personally, couldn't divorce Solar from the other Eclipse(s) who personally harmed you. So this is just a convenience, getting a Moon back who is more likely to enable you and go along with your shenanigans.
And it also makes me think that you, personally, just never got over Old Moon's death or respect his choices at all, that you would be willing to do the exact same thing New Moon is trying to do, just in a supposedly "cleaner" fashion: Kill someone else to get the loved one you personally want back. The difference being that, again, Old Moon chose to sacrifice himself so someone else could live, unlike like Solar, who was a casualty of someone else's cruel plot, and New Moon is going after people who have actually done a lot of harm and murder. Unlike New Moon, who I am pretty sure hasn't actually killed anyone yet. Or at least no one that the others didn't agree was an acceptable target.
It also reminds me of how generally off and combative Lunar has been toward New Moon this entire time. Like--I really, really don't think Lunar ever got over Old Moon's death in any sort of healthy fashion, and I do wonder if he isn't still doing some sort of weird, internalized survivor's guilt deal, since he at one time offered to be Moon's "happy" and protect him, but then just ran off with basically no warning and didn't get the chance to apologize or even say goodbye before Old Moon died.
Not to mention that Lunar knew from Solar what the likely consequences would be of trying to remove KC, but didn't think to/have a chance to warn Sun or Old Moon.
New Moon isn't Lunar's Moon... so Lunar just never bothered to really get to know him or kindle a relationship, especially since he got a shiny new sister with no pre-existing baggage to hang out with. Rather than confront or acknowledge his past with Sun and Moon beyond the fact that an Eclipse was around.
Seems like, in general, everyone else is now reaping the consequences of the fact that Moon isn't around right now to be the pillar who cleans up their messes and problems. Because that usually is his role--he works behind the scenes to quash what problems he can before they get bad, or he does the most to try and fix things and find solutions while everyone else just messes around and then blames him for not doing better when he fails.
Like... right before the first October takeover. Sun got upset when he found out Moon didn't really have a real plan to prevent the takeover from happening, and said he wished Moon had told him earlier... but did Sun even think to really ask? Or offer his own potential plan? It doesn't really seem like it! Because that was Moon's job.
It's always Moon's job.
The only times he's really gotten help are when Monty was involved--which even Monty today admitted was not always the greatest of situations--or when he had Solar.
But then he had neither, since Monty today has seemingly proven they never actually cared about New Moon as their own person. And Solar is gone.
Why are they so surprised now that Moon--either Moon--has hit his breaking point?
Also--they should have given New Moon Yahtzee to play with! Moon at least gave Sun a mirror to look at when he trapped him in that magic box, and they gave Ruin a Monopoly board and streaming abilities when he asked. Old Moon has a sunset and can't really perceive the passage of time!
But, no, New Moon gets absolutely nothing.
And they are surprised he isn't getting better? There are reasons why solitary confinement is considered such a harsh punishment! Getting no mental stimulation does things to a person, and I can only imagine that it is worse for animatronics, considering how much processing power they have and how fast their thoughts must move!
Final thoughts:
If they are using this an excuse to bring Old Moon back permanently, then I just feel like they should have done this very shortly after his death to begin with. That way it would have just been a case of a minor amnesia plotline--not murder, like even Monty admits it will be.
And, for that matter, why is it Moon who never gets a second chance after death? Lunar and Earth have "died," but they got to keep their memories. Eclipse and Bloodmoon have died, but they get both a pass for past actions--which is fair, since, again, they aren't really them--while still reaping the benefits of having those memories uploaded into them, to learn from or ignore at their discretion.
But New Moon got all the blame and consequences while getting none of the benefits, and now they just want to kill him off anyways.
It just makes me so angry and sad.
(And secretly kind of wondering if maybe we accidentally switched Point of Views to a different dimension without realizing it, and our original, beloved Sun and Moon/New Moon are still out there, somewhere, living their best lives with no idea of what the viewers are currently seeing. Though I would still be so sad for the versions we are seeing right now if that was, indeed, the case.)
...And that was quite a rant. Please remember what I asked about taking things with a grain of salt, and forgive me if I ended up being wildly inaccurate with any of my information or assumptions.
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Bruce's general path in headcanon reboot
Any long running character has gone through multiple personalities and relationship dynamics. Some I like, some I don't. But for my headcanon reboot, I'm mapping out a general path for Bruce. Pick bits and pieces out of canon and put them into something that works for me.
So, two big point that are so different in the early days and the later days are Bruce's wealth level and Bruce's emotional health.
So, for this story, we start with Bruce as rich, but not a billionaire and as an emotionally healthy superhero. These will both change as the story progresses.
Okay, I'm starting with Bruce becoming Batman as a 24 year old. He's studied and trained (and no one ever thought he was dead) and he's ready to get started on improving Gotham. His Uncle Philip Kane and Great Uncle Silas Wayne and some second cousins live in Gotham, while his Aunt Agatha is an out-of-town relative. Silas is the one running Wayne Enterprises at the time (though maybe not still doing the day-to-day) and owns 50% of Wayne Enterprises. Agatha (Thomas's sister) owns 25% and Bruce 25%. Agatha and Bruce have little to nothing to do with the business.
The Bruce we know then is social and generally pretty happy. Also a determined crimefighter. Superman's already on the scene and others heroes follow. Bruce does, like in the golden age, think of this as a phase in his life and something he'll retire from once he's accomplished his goals.
Gotham is certainly a city with crime and corruption, but it's not a cursed-from-birth-can-never-get-better kind of place. But well, while not nearly all the cops are on the take, there's enough of them that he can't leave that poor orphaned acrobat unprotected. He becomes Dick's guardian, and he trains the boy and lets him do the things he wished he could have done when his own parents were killed.
We'll see the early villains introduced now. While I'm spreading the golden age villains out a bit more than the compressed time of comics allowed for, the Joker and Catwoman still come at about the same time.
Things continue along that line for a while. Dick begins taking cases alone (Star-Spangled-Comics-like). Dick's in the phase of life where he's developing his own way of doing things, but he always defers to Bruce when they work together. They still have a healthy dynamic and Bruce is proud of him and seeing that he can trust Dick to handle things on his own.
Bruce joins the JL. He's worked with some of them before and he and Clark are friends. They are a good team dynamic and mutual respect, though that's to say no one ever irritates another.
I haven't really worked out Talia. I'd like to use the dislike Dick had of her, but originally that was when he was a college student, but if we look at Damian's age, Dick'd be younger when Bruce and Talia met, and I'm not sure how I'm going to work that out because the dynamic doesn't work the same with a 14 year old Dick and grown Talia.
He and Selina have had their banter in the past, but she was a criminal and he a hero and nothing every really happened. She goes straight and he thinks they'll not be seeing each other again.
Then Silas dies. His own children were, like Thomas and Agatha, never interested in running the business. Bruce feels like he needs to step in and get involved in the company and show some oversight, since no one else is. He's deliberately exposing Dick to the business side of things, hoping Dick will want to take over after college and he'll be able to devote his full time to heroing again.
We'll see Dick (16) join the OG Teen Titans and Barbara become a hero around this time. As with the original story, Dick's more welcoming of Barbara as a hero than Bruce is. This is when we first start to see his desire to be in control of everything, though it's much toned down back in this day and he accepts her quickly enough. He does not train her - she was already and adult and already trained. She works with the two of them sometimes, but mostly alone.
Bruce is getting more and more involved with the company, but beginning to resent the pull it has on his time. Actually, as the 10th anniversary of him donning the cowl approaches, he's starting to feel dissatisfied with his life. He thought he'd have accomplished his goals and be retired and married by now. But there's so much left to do. It seems to him that Gotham has barely improved at all. That's completely false, but he didn't set any actual benchmarks back when he started and now he feels like he's not meeting them. He'll hire Lucius and sort of start off-loading a bit of his Wayne Enterprises load on to him (and getting more eager for the idea of Dick taking over after graduation - Dick's leaving for Hudson). He will date Silver, but that'll fall apart.
Dick becomes much more independent at University. He gets used to doing things his own way. And he starts working with Barbara some. And now it's not just the TT, but his partner he expects to treat him as a equal. He's capable of the schoolwork, but doesn't prioritize it. He and Bruce are both leaning into putting more time in the hero biz right now, and less into other things. And he decides to leave University and spend his time on heroism. This is problematic for Bruce for two reasons. First Dick was supposed to take up the slack so he could do that. But more than that, it really bothers him that Dick doesn't finish college. He considers that a baseline accomplishment for his kid. He's not living up to his potential, etc. Dick knows how much of sacrifice this could be for others and feels fortunate he has a trust fund that enables him to do this and he resents Bruce trying to control his decisions like he's still a kid and that Bruce is doing partially so that Bruce can spend his time doing what Dick wants to do with his time. Since Dick isn't going to be taking over the company, Bruce hands the day-to-day over Lucius, though he maintains overall oversight.
So, this is the beginning of some of their issues that will become more significant over time. Also, Bruce is getting more determined, more driven, more focused, more demanding and more controlling in general. As I said, he feels like he's gotta step it up to save Gotham. We'll seem him start to pull away from his JL buddies, too. He starts to see them as insufficiently focused. And while he's always been confident in his own decision-making, he's getting more into the mindset that his way is the only way.
Dick joins the NTT, and he and Bruce have quite a strained dynamic at the time. Selina become a vigilante and she and Bruce interact more, but it doesn't go anywhere. Though they continue to interact and lust and care.
Then Bruce meets Jason. He does love him and value him, but he's much harder on him than he was on Dick at that age. He doesn't give him leeway to do anything but obey when in costume. Out of costume, he's a pretty good dad. But he's spending less time out of costume than he used to.
Jason's death really messed him up even more. He's pulls away even more from the relationships he had, he doesn't want to form new ones. He's angry and taking it out crooks sometimes. He's barely ever out of the costume. His relationship with Dick continues to get rockier.
After Tim becomes Robin Bruce very deliberately doesn't cast himself as a father (of course, Tim has one). Tim would open up with an emotional discussion with Dick or Alfred long before he would with Bruce. But Tim and Bruce have a good working relationship. Tim looks up to Bruce as almost infallible at first (which isn't really healthy) and he obeys completely, which is something Bruce values.
For a while, Tim is a good bridge for Dick and Bruce. But eventually, after working on his own for a while, and working with others, Tim starts to have his own ideas to believe Bruce is wrong sometimes (see the late 90s and early 2000s when Bruce was awful, though he won't be nearly so bad here) and Bruce isolates himself more. Grandmother Kane dies and he inherits a fortune from her.
Then Damian comes along, and Jason is back and Bruce is terrible at relating to both of them and handles all of it poorly and then is lost in time (or similar).
This experience and the alone-ness and forced time away from being Batman give him too much time to think about his own thoughts, think about his own life and his successes and mistakes and what he wants.
But unlike canon, he decides what he wants is to prioritize the people and relationships in his life more. When he gets back, he starts off working on what's important (but still totally dons the cowl and saves the day, too). He works very hard to build a relationship with Damian (and Dick has made tremendous progress with him) and to repair his relationship with Jason (and Tim had done quite well with him) and to do better about treating Dick, Steph, Barbara, Cass, Clark, and so many others better than he did. And treating the adults like equals instead of thinking he should be the boss of them. And he decides to finally take real shot with Selina instead of back-burnering or being too afraid/pessimistic to try. It does work out. In time, they'll be married and he'll have a good dynamic with family and his old friends will be his friends again.
He'll eventually inherit Aunt Agatha's portion of WE (and a fortune from Uncle Philip) and he'll eventually retire the cape and cowl when he knows he's too old to keep doing the job effectively. But he will know he did good, and he will have faith in the younger generations that they have to and will continue to do so.
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A/N: This is a short drabble I had hidden in my drafts, I believe this is a start to my 'Volchista' series which is something that's been thought about for a couple years, but I think for now I just want a cowgirl who falls in love with another gal...or two. ;) Oh, btw, I make all of my headers by myself. Please don't steal them from me, they take a lot of work.
Pairing: Cowgirl! Reader x Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: None / Reader has an aversion to alcohol
Words: 935
Tagging: @tyler-t0t
~
"I think it's time to retire 76, she keeps going lame, and I doubt she'll survive another calf season" I told Clint as I headed to the kitchen to wash up for dinner.
"You know what's best for the animals, if that's what you think needs to be done, take care of it." He replied beside me, cutting up some tomatoes for the burgers.
"How come you let her make all the decisions?" Tony asked him, leaning back in his chair, sipping on a glass of what I could only assume was either whiskey or bourbon.
"She lived in Montana, and has spent, what..three decades ranching?" A slightly confused look on his face as Clint faced me, leaning back against the counter.
"Four, but yeah, I have experience and background"
"So what's going to happen to 76 then? You'll kill her?" Spoke the dark redhead, judging by the length of her hair, that would be Wanda Maximoff.
"I have a friend who will euthanize her out in the field, but until then I will make sure she is as comfortable as possible. I believe that an animal should live its best life, and be as healthy as can be, but if repeating issues occur or the way of life for the animal is made to where it would be unethical to keep alive, then in that case there is necessity for euthanization.”
“So just because she’s old and can’t have a baby, you’re going to kill her?”
“The average lifespan of a cow is twenty years. 76 is twenty-two years old, the last calf she had nearly killed her, and the last three calves haven’t survived birth or gestation.”
“So she’s old, so she’s going to die?”
“No, it would be mean to keep her alive because she would keep getting sick and when she doesn’t feel good it’s not good for her, (Y/N) just wants the animals to be happy.” a small voice piped up, coming from Clint’s oldest, Abigail.
I nodded at her as she glared, or as much as an eight year old could glare, at the billionaire.
“How old are you?”
I shrugged, and started to help Lauren bring the dishes to the table, ignoring his question.
~
“Want a beer?” Steve asked, holding out an unopened bottle to me.
I saw both Clint and Lauren open their mouths, but before they could said anything, I settled my face with a neutral expression and told him bluntly. “I don’t drink.” before walking past him to grab a soda out of the fridge.
I grabbed one of the glass cokes that were kept stocked next to the beers and popped the top off, tossing it into the little bin next to the fridge.
“Mind if I ask why?” Stark asked, sipping on whatever it was.
I shrugged. “I honestly don’t like it. It dulls the senses and I’ve genuinely never had an alcoholic drink that tastes good. Besides, I feel like I’ve had enough alcohol to last me the rest of my life.”
“Are the cows names just numbers?” The dark red-head blurts out as I was sitting down.
I took a sip of my drink and tried to piece together the best way to explain to her that I knew how.
“Technically yes, we have three-hundred and seventy-nine cows in our herd, we can’t really give them all names. Well, the older ones, the ones past twenty, yes we name, but we also retire them.”
“Just because they can’t breed?”
“Yes and no, they are old enough and have had at a minimum of three calves, so I see no reason to have them out with the bulls where they could potentially get pregnant again and miscarry, or end up dying during labor. Or, if they resist the bulls, the bulls will attack them. Occasionally, if I have an orphan calf or if I am given one, I give it to the older ones because they know how to care for them.”
“Giving them a chance at motherhood again without the pain of pregnancy or the dangers of giving birth.” Lauren adds on, raising her mug to me.
“Exactly. I try my best to look after them. If an animal’s well-being is ever called into question, especially if it has to do with how they could live the rest of their life in pain, I do everything I can to make sure that animal will not be in pain even if it means relentless vet visits or having to euthanize so they can have a chance of being free from the pain. And trust me, I hate it. But it is necessary.”
“You definitely sound like you’ve been doing this for a long time. Where on earth do you get the money for the vet visits though? I imagine with all of the animals you have the bills are ridiculous.”
“I know a couple people, and I do the occasional mission to help fund the farm if needed. However, that's only when Clint or Nat are on leave.”
“Why?”
“I’d rather not leave my family without someone who knows how to protect them. That and someone who knows how to manage the farm when they’re gone.”
“Even then, I rely on the girls more than anything when it’s just me here. The cows have a particular…fondness for me.” Natasha spoke over her cup of juice.
I chuckled. “They know a good soul when one’s around, I don’t blame em’ for gathering around you.”
“Not when they leave their calves with me! I don’t know what to do with baby cows!”
#miscfandomwrites#avengers x reader#marvel#marvel x reader#black widow x reader#natasha romanoff#natasha x reader#Wanda maximoff#Wanda maximoff x reader#scarlet witch#scarlet witch x reader#howdy
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i just don't have any more breakdowns in me. it's 6:40am. i barely slept thursday night and i slept for like 2 hours last night. i don't know what i'll do if he doesn't improve. i don't know why he suddenly got so bad when he had been getting better.
#maybe those anons were right and it is my fault.#idk i have to have done something to cause this#or deserve it#he's so young#and was so healthy and happy before this happened
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ugh had a conversation w someone and i thuink i upset them but also i was in the right
#me: ur neglecting ur pet snake and i think u should find a new home for him bc this is not good for him#them: i am so offended and i can’t do that bc i love him#me: if u loved him u would not neglect him tho#them: so if i take better care of him u will believe that i love him and leave me alone#me: if u need me to tell u to take care if ur pet’s basic needs to do it then i don’t think u really love them#them: i am so fucking offended and i am upset u can’t tell me how i feel#but also like this person was getting pissed bc another person we know takes care of their dogs like the bare minimum and we both were#upset by that but then?? they also don’t take care of their snake and now they’re upset bc i called them out on it?#they’re also upset bc of the “u don’t love ur pet” thing bc like. i can admit that i don’t like. feel love. a lot. like i like the cats#and i would be sad if i could never see them again but if i knew i could not take good care of them i would absolutely find them a new#home. like. idk if i can really feel love a lot? like i don’t love my family and i don’t know if i’ve ever loved my family and i don’t even#know if i’ve ever loved anyone. maybe except for goose i think i would die inside if something bad happened to him. but for the most part#i’ve only ever liked animals not loved them but i would still take care of them bc it’s my responsibility like they deserve care and even#if i’m bad at loving i would never want them to feel unloved and i just find it annoying that this person can claim to love but be content#with this kind of neglect. like i don’t need love to still be nice and take care of pets bc it makes me happy for them to be happy and#healthy so it’s weird to me that someone who claims they love so much (and they do this a lot) to not be bothered. like what is your#love doing for you? like i care but i don’t really love but they love and don’t really care and idk i think they should still care#i wonder if they’d let me take the snake. originally he actually was mine but we got him literally a week before smth happened that made#me fucked in the head so i gave him up because i knew i wasn’t fit to take care of him but i’ve been getting a lot better recently so#i think i’d be able to step back in atp#the real question is if they’d let me
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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You ever had a friendship where like you kind of faded out of each other's lives for a period of time and then re-bonded without ever really addressing the distance so now every time one of you mentions something you never told the other one during The Dark Time you both just have to be like "yeah, this massive thing that happened to me that we didn't talk about at the time but I totally wanted to tell you about but it felt like I couldn't talk to you but I'm also not gonna say it was your fault because I don't want to drive you away again but I know and you know exactly what it is we're not talking about"
#like. i dont blame her for what happened#she was going through a lot of bullshit and i was getting into my current relationship with our mutual friend#and the mutual friend in question it turns out had rejected her like a month and a half before asking me out#so like. things were weird and i dont blame her for not wanting to make a whole thing out of it#and i also get how it would be hard to see me like that with someone you had interest in#but also from my perspective at the time i started dating a boy i liked and my best friend just decided she couldnt be around me anymore#and even though i now have the full context and it doesnt hurt as badly theres still a part of me carrying resentment over it#ive stopped pretending this is relatable content and now im just using the tags on this post as my diary#like on the one hand i know this friendship is worth it because we're stronger than ever now#and shes gotten so much better about vulnerability and admitting i matter to her and communicating in general#but on the other hand it just keeps feeling like theres this elephant in the room that neither one of us has any idea how to address#and like i dont even know if it would be better if we did address it#like 'hey btw i know you had a crush on my now bf and tried to kiss him one time and then didnt tell me when he shrugged you off'#'i also know how much you tried to pretend it didnt hurt you but you distanced yourself from half your friends to avoid having to face it'#'and at the time it was rly frustrating because you acted like me being happy in a healthy relationship was a personal inconvenience to u'#'but i understand now and i forgive you and im glad you came back around eventually because i love you and i missed you'#or can all of those things just remain unsaid and understood
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//i need to go the FUCK to bed but also ahaha omg,,,,,,,,,,,, maybe after i get properly moved in i'll talk a bit about the gas station owners
#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#//i have some headcanons in mind :3c#//though tbh my main though for them rn is like#//the owners: jack is like a SON to us!!!! we care him <3 all we want is for that sweet boy to be happy and healthy y'know!#//the owners: anyway hey jack ummmm you missed work yesterday! what happened buddy?#//jack: sorry i had to have my leg amputated and i'm supposed to get physical therapy before i go back to work#//the owners: yikes :/ well is your insurance covering that#//jack: no-#//the owners: right! :) so you won't be able to afford that without money! so you'd better come to work so you can have the money you need#//jack: ... okay yeah i'll be there in an hour#//the owners: make it 30 minutes. also the other part-timer quit again so you're working his shift too
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i LOVED the season finale of TTA! You only broke my heart a little bit, i may recover yet😁👍🏾
While I will still be ravenous for season 2 and will also be EATING UP any other art you make during your hiatus(still screaming over the most recent steve with his thought bubbles), I hope you have a long, restful, and fulfilling break.
I’m very grateful i found you. Thank you for creating one of my favorite things❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, genuinely it means the world <3
I'm hoping to return late May! so the break shouldn't be too too long before we're back at it :D
#I'm so sorry about the season finale it had to happen...#and I'm about to move in a week#so the hiatus really is PERFECT timing for me just in my life#since november I've been working week to week#super stressful#so I'll be really happy to get my buffer back and really be able to take work at a healthy pace again!!!#I mean it's been fine I can handle the pace without much issue but it is stressful to work week to week#just cause I edit A LOT because I am SO SO SO SO SO picky about the writing...#so I'll last minute be scrambling rearranging panels and rewriting dialogue to make the implications ever so slightly better#so it'll be nice for those last minute scramblings to not be the day before the episode goes up LOL#cause I sure will not stop doing that#asks
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2 & 3 from section 1 for peri and 7 from whichever section has a more interesting #7 for diodore -moss
oooh these are fun ones!
2. Describe their tent set-up (outside and inside) (Peri)
I think Peri's tent is constructed similarly to Gale and Astarion's (boxy, fabric walls, little covered area outside). Deep blue fabric w/ golden astronomical embroidery, mostly the sort of thing you see on star maps. Little golden tassles around the edges of the tarp (?) and the doorframe. He'd have a small, circular, dark wood side table short enough that you can use it sitting on the ground, and a dark blue pillow next to it; there would be some parchment and a bronze miniature astrolabe on the table. The inside would be just. full to the brim with the gaudiest night-sky-themed pillows you've ever seen. No bedroll, no palette, just a nest that would put those cube pits in trampoline parks to shame. There would be two bird perches for his familiar Medani: one taller one next to his tent and one shorter one under the overhang. The shorter one would have a crow-sized bow-tie hanging from it. Rugs on rugs on the outside area ofc.
3. What would their character quest be titled? Why? (Peri)
This is a hard one! His tav ending involves taking over the Waterdeep arm of the Harpers, so I think his arc would have something to do with that. He'd be pretty bitter about being dropped into another near-apocalyptic mess when dealing with the last one a few years prior was supposed to be a one-time thing. Something-something ptsd in a world that doesn't have the words for that yet, something-something 'once a hero always a hero', something-something the weight of responsibility...he's a planeswalker so I think part of it would be whether he decides to stay on Toril long-term and directly help rebuild the Waterdeep Harpers or if he continues to run travel around afterwards, so maybe The Far Traveller/The Far Walker?
Harpson/Fae-son are also potential options. "Fae-son" nods to him being a changeling without it being super obvious (like Astarion's "The Pale Elf"). It would also mimic his backstory reveals from RoT ("oh he's not 'from here' so, like, the Feywild" -> "OH he's not from here").
7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one? (Diodore)
Buckle up because we're in for a long one here. I've thought about Dora's story arc a lot because she's the first of my tavs that I truly made for the game while having full control over her backstory, etc. (versus Corentin, who had their arc baked into the story as a durge). Dora's a paladin of Corellon (oath of ancients) and her story arc as a companion would have to do with whether or not she should accept capital-r-Redemption, the process by which a drow can be truly "freed" from Lolth and rejoin the ranks of the rest of elven society. It involves all of the Redeemed drow's memories being erased and them being reincarnated as a surface elf. The implication seems to be that without that, regardless of a drow's actions, they'd be thrown back to Lolth when they die? Or at least that their eternal fate is unknown (which is the way I prefer to think of it for. personal reasons). Under normal circumstances, Dora would be a long way from Redemption being presented to her at all (she's not even 200 yet and has only been on the surface for a couple decades), but like with the other gods' Chosen among the companions, near-apocalyptic circumstances tend to speed up those sorts of things.
Of course, you'd have the themes of faith & relationship with deity when they're all unequivocally real and are also mostly all assholes; maintaining or breaking generational cycles; facing the unknown; morality when none of your choices are "good" (and how that interacts with morality vs self preservation); power vs freedom; identity outside of the people who made you; etc. The choice would first be presented to her sometime in late Act I/early Act II, likely the first long rest after the group resurfaces from the Underdark and you've probably gotten some of her backstory already. I have no idea how Larian would have characterized Corellon, but he's considered one of the more benevolent/open-minded deities iirc, which could be interesting to see contrasted with Mystra, Vlaa'kith, and Shar. How much that open-mindedness would extend to a drow, even one who has been a faithful follower even before she escaped to the Surface (and who inherited that faith from her father), is unclear. At the beginning of the game she would be leaning towards accepting Redemption, despite her own misgivings about whether or not she would still be her in that case.
Her final decision (at the ending pier scene) would depend on the relationship she has with the PC and the other companions. Her best ending, imo, would be her not accepting Redemption but continuing to be a force for good. If she has a good relationship with the PC, she would have something to lose. I think seeing the House of Mourning would affect her too. After all, the thing Corellon is offering to her as a way to find peace is the same thing the Sharrans are using as a way to manipulate and control others.
She's viscerally aware of how she was socialized and very actively chooses "good", so pushing her towards a darker path would be incredibly difficult but not impossible. If you side with the goblins she'll leave immediately, and turn on you if she's in your party when you attack the grove. But if you decide to try and control the cult in Act II, depending on your over-all actions before then and how you've interacted with her, you could disillusion her to the point of convincing her to break her oath. That path would entail convincing her that controlling the cult is actually the best idea. I'm sure there would be other times that her oath could break that wouldn't necessarily lock her into an "evil" path, especially with how Oathbreakers are handled in the game. Knocking out Minthara instead of killing her outright and letting Auntie Ethel go in Act I instead of killing her are two things that come to mind.
If she doesn't choose Redemption she would be at the epilogue party, of course. I'm a bit undecided on what would happen if she does choose Redemption. She may not be there at all, w/ Jaheira, Halsin, Minthara, and/or Astarion mentioning running into her in her new, reincarnated state. Or she would be there, confused, and mention how the PC seems familiar in a way she can't quite place. In that case, she would ask them how they know each other and mention something about feeling a twinge of grief looking at everyone, but that she doesn't know why she feels that way. It would be up to the PC how much they tell her (if they tell her anything at all).
#ty for the ask mossy!!#and sorry for the wait lol a couple of these stumped me for a minute#thinking about peri & jaheira as narrative parallels...#b/c i want to be clear here. peri was and is *not* looking for more responsibility re: harpers#he was perfectly happy doing security systems. him not seeking power was an active character choice i made for him b/c he's a wizard#but in the Faerun In My Head (tm) the Waterdeep Harpers also get decimated by the Absolute b/c why would they not? theyd be a major threat#especially b/c their high harper was the catalyst for forming the lord's alliance and. like. you think they're *not* reconvening?#for Weird Cult Two: 2 Cult 2 Furious??#gortash would take remallia OUT if at all possible#and also I like torturing my characters#and i think the whole 'weight of duty'/hero's curse (once you get drawn into one situation you can't ignore the others/they come to you)#thing is interesting for peri in particular. the man just wants to live a quiet life and he will! for the most part.#just now with thousands of lives in his hands b/c he's helped stop 2 apocalypses and is irrevocably tied to the fate of the Coast now#his conscious wouldn't let him just leave the Harpers or Waterdeep to rot. and that seems to be similar to the situation jaheira's in#generational cycles the cruel march of time history repeats itself etc etc#that's also why i think he would get Weave'd and have an unusually long lifespan. he wanted to rest and the universe said “no <3”#i think about dora's story a lot also because the whole 'you can be redeemed (from something you were born with)#but only by removing integral parts of yourself' thing hits *right* in the religious trauma#you cant tell me there wouldn't be *some* part of a Redeemed Drow's soul that remembers the people from before they were changed#unless they just. get a new soul in which case it literally isn't them anymore.#doras first real & healthy relationships happen in-game#thats part of why she's drawn to astarion. his bullshit is predictable to her and therefore feels safer.#definitely safer than whatever is going on with the others#(also why she trusts karlach so quickly: she's straightforward and blunt & doesn't really hide things?#and was also the only one to warn her against astarion. dora'd literally never had someone like that in her life before so it stuck)#and she'd feel a bit uncomfortable w/ the concept of Redemption at first but who is she to argue with a god?#esp one who seems kinder than many of the others#but as the story progresses she realizes that she *can* trust these people and that they trust her#and she sees how Gale and Shadowheart and Lae'zel are struggling w/ their deities#and not only does she have something to lose now but she's seeing more of how the gods work generally
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I was in a 18 bday party today and we didnt have a gift for the bday girl💀💀
#luckily we made a pretty good last minute save#im usually the kind of person to sit back and say yes to whatever ppl are saying to get for the persons bday#the problem is that this time there wasnt one big present and every group did their thing#and the four of our group were the same as me so we literally didnt even think of a gift until we were there💀💀#luckily we know her rlly well (weve been friends since like 3) so we decided to get her a vale for puenting#<-sorry if the last sentence is illegible to you im too lazy to think how to say it in english#and we looked pretty cool and she was rlly happy with the gift so i take that as a win#it was a 25 ppl dinner and we only talked the 4 of us lolll (and with the bday girl obv)#but i had fuun i got to see sides of a couple of them that i had never rlly seen before#bc like the bday girl me and another weve known each other since forever we were bffs at school etc#the other two are from music and i n music theres a group that are kinda intimidating so most ppl outside that group arent rlly completely#themselves at music tho you get to see them after music when we stay talking or on the walk home etc#but theres not as much time so it was nice to get to know better the other two😋😋#also im rlly happy bc the bday girl and the other one aftr years of barely talking even tho we saw each other every week it feels like#weve been reconnecting lately (we stopped being good friends bc life not any argument or anything) and i love it#like i know it will never be like it used to be in school when we were super close but its nice to have them as friends again#looking back on it our relationship was never very healthy (in any direction tbh) but it was nice while it lasted#i wouldnt want to go back to what we had but i would like to build a new and healthier relationship with them and its finally happening :)#ok that was a long rant lol#mine#life
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- ED trigger warning -
Being skinny ruined my life. If you’re thin and think to yourself, “why don’t fat people just lose weight?” Please read this
I was the “ideal fat” in the sense that I did everything skinny people wanted me to do. I tried every diet in the book. I exercised regularly. I worked with doctors and dietitians to figure out the best way to lose weight. But nothing worked. I did everything “right” to lose weight, and my weight stayed the same
But the thin people in my life kept telling me that I wouldn’t be happy, attractive, healthy, etc. until I lost weight. So, heartbroken, I came to the conclusion that anorexia was the only option left. It felt safer than bariatric surgery, and was obviously much more affordable
I became the perfect anorexic. 700 cal a day or less, except once a week I allowed myself 1400 cal. For reference, my body required at least 2800 to maintain weight, and at least 1800 to keep my organs and stuff fully functioning. Still, 700 a day, I persisted because everyone in my life told me weight loss was all that mattered. If dieting didn’t work, anorexia had to
And it did. My weight dropped all the way down to 110 pounds. I was skinny - underweight, even - in all sense of the word. The people in my life saw it as a miracle. The ultimate success story. My mother, my “friends,” my doctors, they all congratulated me on my accomplishment
When I confessed my eating disorder to my doctor, he told me, “that’s not the best way to go about it, but I’m glad you lost the weight.” My mother took pictures of me and sent them to relatives to brag
Okay, great. I was skinny. I did what I set out to do. But there were severe consequences
The most obvious was my joint pain doubled, maybe even tripled, to the point that I couldn’t leave the house without a wheelchair
I also developed several health complications, including fatty liver disease and extremely painful GERD. I had to see a handful of specialists and get an endoscopy because of severe stomach pain
My partner, who was the only person who saw my weight loss for what it was (a horrible thing that only happened because of an eating disorder), convinced me to enter a recovery program
For nearly a year, I relearned how to feed myself. I ate everything I was told to eat, nothing more and nothing less. My diet was 100% in the hands of somebody else
And I gained back every pound I has lost. All of the work to become thin went right out the window. It was proven to me that thinness and health were incompatible with my body. If I wanted to be thin, I had to forgo my physical and mental well-being. And vise-versa
Prior to the anorexia, I never once struggled with binge eating. I was naturally an intuitive eater, and I did a good job of having a well rounded diet. After the anorexia, after recovery, I developed a binge eating disorder. I had spent so long starving myself, that my brain and body got stuck in survival mode, desperate to consume any and all calories out of fear that I might starve again. To this day I struggle with binge eating
I did everything thin people wanted of me. I dieted. I exercised. And when all else failed, I starved myself. Now I have liver disease, stomach issues, and BED. Not to mention the loads of mental issues that accumulated as a result of my weight loss journey. During the throes of my anorexia, I had to be hospitalized for suicidal ideation
When you tell fat people to “just lose weight” you are suggesting they give themselves illnesses for which treatments are not always effective. You are asking fat people to destroy their stomachs and livers. When a fat person loses so much weight that they become skinny, they are likely giving up so much of their health in efforts to be treated like a human being
If you’re thin, do your part. Treat fat people like people before we tear our bodies apart
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