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highvern · 2 months

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Ateez in Different NSFW Careers

Pairing: ot8

Genre: smut, 21+

Warnings: lots of sex, masturbating, porn, domination/submission, fetishes, lmk if i missed anything egregious

Note: this is an idea for a miniseries but idk and thought id put it out there to see if people are interested (dont bring up the ateez mixtape series, im working on it!) thank you @wingsofimagery @yessa-vie for listening to this brain rot

read more here

Hongjoong:

onlyfans creator, solos of him masturbating or nudes. weirdly artistic? like camera angles on point, edited to perfection, color graded. rarely, if ever, collabs with others. occasionally posts erotic photography of one unidentifiable woman. his subscribers aren't sure what to make of it but pictures of them together are some of his best work. daylights as a photographer and has some of his work in small galleries across the city.

Seunghwa:

amatuer porn star, makes homemade couple porn or something with a close female friend. domestic/bf vibes in every video. v soft with each other even when they're having rough sex. people assume they're actually dating bc of the insane chemistry even though they never show their faces. its his fun dirty little secret no one in the office knows.

Yunho:

boyfriend for hire. specializes in "turn your brain off for the night, i'll handle it." rent him to be your date to an event or just for a night on the town. doesn't always sleep with his client (his discretion) but usually cuddles and will spend the night. just trying to pay off his student loans since being an analyst pays shit. big yunho bc he has a big... u kno? and loves hearing the women he sleeps with rave about it. has had several repeat customers and older women that recommend him to their friends.

Yeosang:

audio erotica. just aside hobby for him. tbh 9/10 times forgets to record or that he even has the account. started bc a girl he was seeing freshman year of college told him she wanted a video with the sound on and he didn't know what that meant but she liked his voice enough to let the completely black screen slide. posts sporadically but always makes waves when he does. people have offered him money for custom audios and he always turns them down.

San:

fetish model. shibari, leather, latex. you name it, he's most likely modeled it. has portrait of himself (unrecongnizable, facing away just his back criss crossed with ropes, hands bound at the base of his spine) hanging in his apartment. his friends think its weird since they know he's the one in the picture but most of the girls he brings home just think he's into some freaky stuff. started bc he would nude model for the art classes at his college when he needed fast money for weed. people assume he likes really kinky sex bc of his job but he prefers vanilla sex most of the time bc his job is so kink heavy. works as a fitness instructor as his 9-5, and had a few people recognize him but most are cool and leave him alone

Mingi:

nsfw twitter creator. videos, pictures, sliding into dms. mingi does it all and enjoys the comments of people thirsting over him even if he's one dick among thousands. for his day job he works in a sex store and flirts with the exotic dancers who come in to buy their costumes (turned down every single time, there's even a pool for how quickly he'll strike out). the one girl that flirted back still lives in his brain rent free bc all she did was smile and he folded like origami. now when she comes in mingi has to remind himself not to drool.

Wooyoung:

cam boy brat, sugars on the side. likes being degraded by his audience when he's bad. lover of milfs, and has a sugar mommy he sees once a month. loves being wined and dined by her and then loved on at her fancy apartment uptown. started doing both in college to pay rent, now works at a dance studio and keeps it up bc the extra cash is nice. enamored with taking pictures during sex. has a collection of polaroids with his current FWB that he cherishes more than anything (always carries one in his phone case). toyed with the idea of having her come on his streams but he doesn't want to share. he should probably look into that more.

Jongho:

dungeon dom (IDK), the kind thats a look don't touch dom. if you need a session to work through your stress, go to him. sexy spanking, punishment spanking, therapy spanking. he's got the knowledge and know how. has a strange collection of vintage dvds and magazines. rare stuff that he treats like art rather than smut. jongho i never want to speak on your name im sorry

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie @gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire @missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu

#ksmutsociety #kvanity #cromernet #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #atz fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez angst #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #🫡 highvern

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the-final-sif · 2 months

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what is your opinion on the situation?

I've been at work all day so I haven't been able to sit down with stuff fully, it also seems like Caiti is planning to release a statement later today with more information I think? So I'd like to get her response there, but based on what I've seen so far I think I fall more on the side of "people made some dumb choices and should learn from them" than anything else.

Consent is messy and it gets messier when people start lying or are drunk. In this case, both Caiti and George were drunk. From what I understand, either Caiti had a 21+ wristband from the vidcon party, or her friend group did and assumed since she was drinking with them, she was also 21+.

Honestly, when it comes to the matter of underage drinking, I don't think it's even remotely fair to place blame on Dream/George for that. The blame there lies with Caiti deciding to drink while under 21, and on her friends, Ghostie and the other person present who were both over 21. Unlike Dream/George, both of them knew Caiti and knew exactly how old she was and were letting her drink. They were also letting her drink with no one sober and no one making sure she got home.

Now, Caiti is 18 and also I'm not a goddamn square, I'm not gonna stand here and be like "oh no drinking at 18 clutch my pearls" but like, if people are going to blame other people for that situation, that very much lies with Caiti's friends who knew they had an underage person drinking with them. I feel like people are weirdly assigning blame to Dream/George for not like, iding every person they hang out with (particularly if she had a 21+ bracelet at vidcon, which would mean she already got IDed). While completely avoiding placing any blame on the people who 100% knew they were taking an 18 year old drinking without a doubt.

Putting that aside, from my understanding George's side is he believed at the time that she was having fun, and the most they did was cuddle on a couch with other people there. He believed at the time that everything was cool, and that she later decided she was uncomfortable with what happened.

Honestly, I don't really think that's an unfair reading. At this same party, her best friend was there and from Ghostie's own words, she also didn't realize Caiti was uncomfortable until several months later when Caiti told her. If her best friend didn't notice she was uncomfortable or see anything wrong, then I find it hard to think anyone else would pick up on it.

There's certainly risks taken here that I wouldn't have taken. I think that George needs to do better with checking for consent and maybe vetting the people you're hanging out with. Although I also understand that doing a full background check on everyone you ever meet is an absurd requirement and if, at the time, they trusted the person that they actually invited, I get how that shit happens. Per consent, given that he was also drunk, I get how it may've appeared to him that he had consent. I do think it's still something to work on, but I'm also perfectly aware that in real life, people are often going off vibes and social cues, and sometimes those don't mash.

I also think that Caiti's friends have been pretty shitty throughout this. They take no responsibility for having let an 18 year old drink and then ditching her. They are absolutely milking drama out of this shit and they have a weird obsession with blaming Dream for shit he had no fault in.

As for Dream, I don't think he did anything wrong here. Full stop. If Caiti's best friend didn't notice that she was uncomfortable or unhappy, it's insanely unreasonable to expect Dream to have managed that. He was also drunk and hanging out with people, and he had no way of knowing Caiti was underage. None of that shit was his fault, and his statement seems very measured and reasonable. People are trying to blame him for things that he had absolutely no part in, and the UK group are absolutely trying to pull that shit.

Overall, sounds like several people involved made dumb choices, I hope they learn and grow. Otherwise all of this honestly sounds like shit that should've been talked out privately and not tossed to the internet for speculation. Human beings are messy and will fuck up sometimes. This feels like a case of miscommunication and people making risky choices that left people with some hurt.

Again, I may change my mind with further evidence presented, but that's how it feels to me.

#dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #discourse #sif speaks #sif answers #idk man I think I just have more irl experience with these sorts of situations #like #shit happens in real life #and I think maybe part of the problem with like twitter #is you have a lot of 15 year olds that have never been drunk or fucked in their lives #who are totally sure they know exactly how consent works and how sex goes in real life #I really liked the greendot talk I got about it back in college #I should find a recording of that sometime for people #It laid it out really well that consent is not an on-off switch #It's a door that you're opening #and depending on the circumstances you take risks with how you're opening it #0 risk is like the two of you have a formal plan #and have signed contracts #and then you start to move up through situations that can be more risky that something goes wrong #and someone gets hurt #And honestly for irl consent I found that was so much more of a valuable framework to look at things through

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avernusreject · 5 months

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Warning ya'll this is gonna be a long post. But please join my descent into insanity, as I deep dive into the vague wormhole that is the durge betrayal pre bg3 timeline.

Before we start, it’ll help if you have context around the faerun calendar. There are twelve months in total, each having exactly 30 days. Additionally, weeks don’t exist in faerun. Rather months get broken down into chunks of time called tendays, which you guessed is literally just ten days. If that was too straight forward for you, don’t worry, they add in five extra days to the calendar that fall outside of the months (ngl I still have no idea where these are located) to make the full year 365 days.

At the beginning of the game, the nautiloid crash occurs at 20 Eleasis. Which means, the game starts in the middle of summer. Obviously, the way you play the game is going to influence the speed of events, but for my playthrough I reached moonrise towers around 12 elient (total time being 22 days). When you get to moonrise, in Bathazar’s chamber you can find his journal that explains that Kressa (the crazy necromancer chick) managed to keep durge alive. This entry is dated “two tenday ago”. But in game, that makes no sense because we know that the nautiloid should have crashed around that point. So either Balthazar doesn’t understand how the Faerun calendar works (I mean same, my guy) or we have to change our frame of reference. I think its more likely that the implied frame of reference is the start of the game, 20 Eleasis (since the developers can’t control how fast the player goes).

If true, durge was saved by Kressa around 1 Eleasis. Her vivisections took place after this in the following days. However, durge is taken away before the end of the following tendays (at least before 10 Eleasis).

Now when you talk to Kressa in the basement of moonrise, she states that she found durge only hours after they had been given the tadpole.

In the fight with Orin, she states that when she attacked durge she carved out a hole for the worm (ignore the Half-Elf part, that's just from the moment Orin turns into durge during the pre-fight convo).

The part that we're missing is when specifically the tadpole was inserted into durge. But given how the game describes just how utterly fucked durge was, there's a high likelyhood that the tadpole was given to durge moments after their fight. Which if true, places Orin's betrayal at 1 Eleasis. Giving us twenty days till the start of the game.

The piece that threw me for a bit was this piece of the narrator's dialogue when durge examines the pod, stating that durge had no idea how much time had passed.

But the blood in the pod is still fresh enough that Astarion is able to ID it as durge & in another dialogue choice if you examine the blood further the narrator states the blood hasn't been there long enough to rot.

I think this dialogue is more explaining that durge is actively being tortured by Kressa so time feels unending (kressa being the one who put them in the pod to begin with).

I've seen in other posts that Gortash's draft memoir explains that Orin's betrayal occurred during or just around the crowning of the brain (I don't have a screenshot of that unfortunately). But we have to take that with a grain of salt because Gortash is the definition of an unreliable narrator.

Personally, I don't think he's lying though. Orin's betrayal occurred in moonrise and there's really no other reason that Orin and durge would be in moonrise that the game has provided. Not to mention, the warden explains the last time that durge was in moonrise, they never left.

I don't think durge came to moonrise more then once given the fact that the warden, who had clearly been there a while, had no clue who they were. I find it hard to believe their identity would be kept under wraps had they been at moonrise multiple times. Employees have to gossip about something.

I think its likely that Ketheric, Gortash, and Durge tamed the brain in the days leading up to 1 Eleasis (like ~20 to 30 Flamerule).

In summary, the dead three had a Phineas and Ferb summer vacation by deciding to create the cult of the absolute.

And yes if you are wondering this is how I look now.

#the durge timeline makes me want to scream sometimes #the dark urge #durge #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #enver gortash #orin #kressa bonedaughter #balthazar #durgetash

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reorientation · 4 months

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okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

#I can't respond to all of this without feeling like I'm going on for too long but rest assured that I enjoyed reading every bit <3 #reor: respect anon #kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding #ftm girl #reor: anon life story

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asexualzoro · 5 months

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it's december 9th, meaning today is my 23rd birthday (which is my favorite number!), which means it's time for...

Lew Writes Wrapped 2023!!!

im including anything that happened after my last bday, so we have some works from december as well. this one's a bit of a weird one for the total word count, you'll see why

it's all treebark from my sideblog / alt ao3. i cannot change. i will not change. for these im just gonna specify the relationship that's the main focus bc thats easier than fandom bc all but like one are third life

dandelion wishing

(Dec, 2.4k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

op movie 6 au for dogwarts in which Martyn is the baron and Ren doesn't know he's dead

id actually plotted out a whole third life au for this movie like months prior and really wanted to write it, so i took it for treebark week and focused it just on these two. it's my fave movie of all time and i obvs had to give it to my fave completely dead team <3

i will admit tho. it did make me back search martyns twitter to see if hes ever posted abt watching this movie. bc i know he likes One Piece and i realized this would bring me into the danger zone (he hasnt ever posted abt it if hes seen it)

A Romance Route for the Doomed Villain?!?

(Dec, 5k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

treebark dating sim isekai parody that spiraled out of my control made in a day-long possession

im still baffled by this one. why was the response to this one so insane?? there was smth in the water the day i posted this bro. a 1:2 kudos to hits ratio for the entire first day is literally fucking unbelievable. 70 comments?? what hold did this fic have on you people. i got fic written about this one?? my friends goncharov'd me in front of my face

really fucking fun to write and the insane response was smth im always gonna remember. i appreciate you guys so much

treesekai also turns a year old in a few days!

Until the Angels Realize You're Not One of Them

(Feb, 7.2k, emerald duo, oneshot) (link)

a traitor phil au which was mostly just me talking about all the reasons i love technoblade

this one... wasnt actually written this year for the most part? i didnt want to not acknowledge it, since it's on my ao3 in this year, but i wont be able to count it toward the total

still. traitor phil au my beloved. hearing him say on his stream he and techno wanted to do a betrayal arc made me feel insane bc i already had this written at the time

missing or obstructed

(2022-present, 12.9k, Grian & Ren, ongoing) (link)

post 3L fic about Ren and Grian seeking out closure with a lot of funny little sleep metaphors

same deal as the last fic, i, uh dont think i actually wrote anything new for missing or obstructed this year either? just uploaded chapters i wrote last year,,, i didnt wanna now acknowledge it, but i wont count this in my total later

i miss her. one day ill actually sit down and write more missing or obstructed. in my doc im JUST at introducing Martyn and i havent written it yet

to reach my mangled debut

(Sept, 4.2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

it wouldnt be me if i didnt have an execution somewhere in here. another op au!

THIS. I LOVE HER. when rev and i were plotting out the whole storyline for smop renchanting i was begging please give me this scene i need it and i had so much fun writing it. i rlly need to finish soon but i haven’t had time but please. please check out smop. she’s top of my priority list to update

Three-Dog Night

(Sept, 6.7k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

BIG DOG. beauty and the beast au!

god im so fond of this au. there’s some rlly good scenes written for this and unposted bc i just need to link them together. honestly i think if i took a month and focused it on this fic alone i could fucking finish it but i don’t have the time ;-;

that said i’m so enamored w this au genuinely. o dunno what else to say i just think. puppy

Cover Me In Roses

(Sept, 3.3k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

lamplight roleswap! put Martyn in a flower pot

i don’t feel as motivated to work on this one when i have lamplight unfinished so it’s lower on my priorities but know i have like an entire arc of this written and unposted. we just have a few paths for this one and i have to decide which one to use

it’s so wild to me lamplight has like. aus. like this isn’t even the only one? a roleswap. that’s insane? it’s wild that you all like lamplight enough i can even get away with this

First Sign of a House Fire

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i love superhero stories for two reasons: plots about secrets and adapting the characters to give them powers. this had smth fun for both of them

yellow rose isn’t super high on my list of priorities to update (i think the oneshot is interesting on its own) but one day,,,, it’s part of the many aus cherri and i have but it’s the longest for sure. the doc for just this au is like 100k words long on its own. at the time i draft this cherri and i are actively writing smth else for it in another tab. theres like 4 offshoots and im obsessed w all of them. we had to make ocs about this one. i’m excited to eventually add more to this series

actually that’s one of the scenes i’m most excited for and most dreading adding. we made a backstory oc and im SO attached to him and im excited to post a thing out there w him but. ough. whatever cringe is dead i’ll get there eventually and brute force my way into attaching you to our funky little robot guy

also love that this fic forced me to be decided on a docv characterization that i have to stick to. he may be a canon guy to martyn’s vtuber lore but he’s my oc now too

Blindsided

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

pirate au and royal au based on a big secret and also stuffing a guy in a box and it's all stupid dramatic literally what else do you want or need in life

this is my wife. my favorite. my most beloved. blindsided gives me new illnesses and diseases. i have just one scene to write before i can update it and then i can continue unleashing her. god i love this fic the drama of it is SO fun.

the funny thing abt blindsided is i know all the plot chronologically but now how to Present it which is part of why i haven’t continued too much. eventually i will but until then know that one of the scenes im sitting on which has been fully written is one i think about constantly. hopefully when i post it cherri’ll let free the comic she did for it

i actually have the ending of this fic written i just need to get there lmfao. second on my priority list after smop i think

Cradle of the Leviathan

(Sept, 1.5k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i just love mer aus man. whats the point of it all if you cant have mer aus. just get a big ol fish

i have the ending of this au written as well and literally so little of the lead up. but this is pretty low on my priorities. i think this one stands just fine on its own. mer aus are nice like that

we actually have a few mer aus but for now i’ll be focusing on this one. i do have a few sweet post story things written for this one. maybe one day i’ll write enough to post em lmao

Lamplight AU

(2022-present, 47k, treebark, ongoing) (link)

renchanting dnd/fantasy au, martyn's a paladin and ren's a lamp

so i started this au last year. my wrapped last year said my total was 20k, so that means this year's total is.... 27k!

and… it was just lamplight’s birthday and i did all my appreciation for the fic and its readers then, but god. i love this fic so much and i love you all who have read it and been so kind about it. the amount of popularity it has makes it a bit nerve wracking to work on, but i still really want to see it finished. i hope to see the bulk of it done by this time next year!

Six Sentence Sunday

six sentence sunday is a challenge where i try to post six sentences i wrote that week every sunday, to keep me writing every week of the year! i do it over on my writing blog, @driflew

i did not keep up on my six sentences,,, i had a lot of sunday fencing tournaments. i did for ~33 weeks this year! thats a pretty good amount! i’ll have to be more on top of it next year tho

unpublished work

the last few years i havent included unpublished work, but with the extreme bulk of it, i wanted to note it down. cherri @/cherrifire and i have been writing a lot back and forth at each other in discord dms this year, and i wanted to include those in my count! bc holy fucking shit is there a lot of them

i didn’t include collab pieces, just pieces i wrote alone. i also only included the renchanting aus i share w cherri and scarian aus i share w flowey, nothing else—no unfinished lamplight or other independent pieces or oneshots, no original fiction for class, nothing. i also missed a few u haven’t moved to docs yet. so i’m lowballing by a few. thousands. of words

the total for those is...... 135k words! there is,,, something wrong with me

total and end notes

our total this year is...

187512 words!

that might be my highest word count yet! because i caught treebark disease. wild.

something really fun about this year to me is i really loved everything i wrote.

if you want to get me a gift or support me on my birthday… maybe try reading my work and reblogging it or leaving a comment! you can find my writing at driflew or skelew on ao3, follow my writing blog at @driflew, or even consider tipping my kofi!

thank you for sticking with me and supporting me this year! i really appreciate it! hopefully i can break 100k next year too!

#lew writes wrapped #lew writes

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soil-just-needs-water-to-be · 1 month

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I just wanted to say a massive thank you to these guys and everyone I’ve met/made friends with over the last couple years because of them, I got to see them three times in the last 13 months and from not being allowed to see them and then getting three times is insane

I’m just going to do a little run down as to why these boys mean so much to me through albums and eras

self-titled as an era as well as notes - help me relive my teen years , help me relive as the teenage boy that I didn’t get to live (being trans I was raised as a female and my teen years where very weird obviously) , but since coming out I’ve made the connection that these albums really help me feel like the teenage boy I was meant to be and I couldn’t thank the guys more for that and I know there probably never going to here it but it’s wild that even though I’m never actually going to be able to go back and fully relive my teenage years these albums do help me.

I like it when you sleep- I don’t know what it is about iliwys but it helps me feel so confident in my sexuality and gender around others , it helps me care less what others may think of it. I can just be me and not be bothered about others thoughts. Be the openly little gay boy that I am and not care that others may veiw it as icky or be homophobic toward me it just keeps me safe and grounded and I don’t feel like I have to hide because of this.

a brief Inquiry(can’t spell sorry)- ABIIOR - has helped me care more for the environment and schooling and helped me care more about my knowledge for other things like art and writing , creativity in all forms (I cared before but like now with this album) , I’ll stay up and learn about art and history and feel like I’m expanding my brain learning about the world around me and how things used to be - I just feel smarter

but the best of all really is

Being Funny - to me this one brings the best out because it really makes me feel like I’ve grown as a person and that everything around me has grown with me , as have the people around me , I’ve gained so much confidence and done things I never thought id do , I’ve grown up with the guys because of this era , I feel like I’m growing into the gentleman that I want to be and it just makes me feel so grown. I can do everything I dream of and do it to the best of my abilities

so I wanna thank the guys SO MUCH for helping me through everything in life

#matty healy #george daniel #the 1975 #adam hann #ross macdonald

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andromerot · 4 months

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my pedro almodóvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list

or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it

well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy

so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you

matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it

¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.

la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.

pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montón (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.

entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.

la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodóvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ángel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.

todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that

átame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.

tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs

kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.

carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.

laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too – he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. liné was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can

hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.

la mala educación (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into – the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ángel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess

volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point – penélope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.

los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault

la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....

los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.

julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.

dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educación, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time

madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you – their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.

yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you

#lol ive had this on my drafts for like a week. i forgor

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spikeinthepunch · 4 months

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here it is boys.... 2023 summary

view all of my art summaries here!

this sure was the year of humans...! which i predicted after last year. so, time to talk about it. below the cut

as mentioned in last year's summary, 2022 was a weird year that started off pretty awful and left me so mentally drained and upset. i kind of talked about it, but it doesnt matter at this point. it felt like more of an escape to draw humans at first, as i was trying to pull myself away from what i had been drawing before.

towards the end of 2022 i felt myself drawing humans easier as i got into it. march 2022 versus december 2022 was a huge improvement. and now.... well, i draw humans with ease at this point, and i like how my art turns out with them.

i have been slowly trying to change how i go about drawing though. since 2022 i was hanging on to how i used to draw with warrior cats-- thinner lines, smaller details, trying to be "realistic" in many way when it came to anatomy or color (tending to default to simple images that didnt have reason for wacky colors). some of the non human art i have here, the stuff w my sona esp, was me trying to loosen up a bit. i felt like i couldnt do it w the art i was doing already? like id 'mess up' what i was already doing well.

but during those few months i managed to apply it to the Lisa fan art i was doing, and from then i have felt like i was starting to acheive this new flow. im hoping to get deeper into the stylized habits-- ways that i used to draw. sharp lines with cut edges, or exaggerated wobbly ones. neon colors. anatomy that isnt always realistic. being loose again.

ive particularly been looking back at 2019. that is a.... complicated feeling year now. obviously, right before the pandemic. i do often wonder where my art would have gone if things hadnt gone south-- i think my art that year was especially "weird" bc i was going to college, chasing my art career dreams, etc. i was at my internship at a studio, i was seeing all kinds of ppl in the industry with intents to go and work there. i dont wanna mourn too much here, but the point is that certain environments definitely breed these changes. and right now- since 2020- i havent had any different kind of environment...!

things feel at a standstill since 2020 and im not sure when that will change. i would like it to change bc i think i may be going insane tbh. heres to hoping i can find more creative outlets, and some new environments to enjoy next year.

#art summary

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hiemaldesirae · 28 days

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Question: how would your characterization of demon Alastor react to finding out for the last 60+ years that what he thought was Vox breaking up with him was actually Demon!Valentino drugging/r**ping him with his venom/aphrodisiac and Vox has No memory of what he and Alastor actually had? No memory of anything except maybe the last month? And to find out Valentino only did this so Vox (who was becoming a TV mogul) would put his pornos on the tv. How would he help Vox remember? What would he do to Valentino? Would Velvette also suffer?

okay so. nonny, i wont blame you for not knowing, especially since ive never explicitly talked about it on main, but for future reference, im not that big on the whole abusive staticmoth dynamic. i can see why others enjoy it, and i do read stories with it from time to time simply because the premise captivates me that much, but in general id say i much more prefer a version where val and vox are at the very least best friends if not crossing into the sort of blurry best friends who smooch sometimes territory.

now having said that, i'll still answer your question because again, not very fair of me to just brush you off for no reason when i never made my preferences clear beforehand. (this gets long, so i'll leave a readmore.) warning: my demon radiostatics are always freak4freak no matter what. so this does get a little iffy in terms of ethics

my favourite interpretation of radiostatic is two sickos who are just as closely obsessed with each other, so in the unlikely case that al would let vox go for that long, when he realizes again the first thing he's going to do is go and. well. for lack of a better term, atticwife him (i hope to god this isn't just a term used in east asian fandoms because if i have to explain this ill eat lead). maybe after a little bit of time, he'll allow vox some liberties, but even then it'd be very little. ill put it this way- imagine the most toxic irl relationship you can: someone who tracks and micromanages their partners every move, barely lets them outside the house without going with them, monitors every friendship that they allow their partner to have, and there you have it. thats radiostatic! ah, young love. so sweet, dont you think? after all, alastor can't risk his muse's eyes slipping off him again. he's been deprived of that attention for far too long, and it wasn't even by his own doing! that's an offense in and of itself.

now im assuming that its only val who's doing the exploitation here so presumably vel would have no hand in any of the mess, and perhaps not even be fully aware of the nuances behind the scenes. i mean, it wouldn't really matter either way because once alastor finds out the reason why his other half hasnt been reciprocating their insane little song and dance he's getting rid of any and all obstacles, permanently. vox doesnt need anyone else so long as he has him- and hey, he was friends with him, rosie and husk first, so its not even as if its much of a loss. the only people he'd presumably leave alive would be voxs own contracted souls, and even then thats a bit of a gamble depending on just how bad i want the both of them to be: without his contracted souls, vox would be weaker and more susceptible to whatever alastor wants, so i guess its a matter of whether or not i want the freak4freak relationship where theyre both equally strong but vox willingly submits because he gets more thrill out of it that way or whether i want freak4freak where vox has to struggle way harder and still ends up giving in anyway because al is simply stronger

as for what he'd actually *do* to val. i mean. he does still have that radio broadcast of his, doesn't he? i think you can probably put the pieces together. the thing with animal sinners is that theres simply so many parts of them to break... show-wise, i never understood how overlords like alastor or val could even rise to their position, with the amount of weak spots they must have. that broken antenna vox and val share is certainly something that speaks to their higher vulnerability. and moth wings are especially fragile: i owned little silkworm moths at one point (they were my babies, i loved them for the month or so i got to care for them) but their wings were so thin they were wearing holes in them by the second or third day. val's coat-wings look much thicker in comparison, but of course, my perception is limited by the show only. so i mean, who knows? im sure whatever happens, itll make the best entertainment in al's eyes :)

#if you guys want to hear more unhinged radiostatic i mean #im always glad to share it but in my head the vees are very tightknit #like very difficult to distinguish them between a polyam relationship and normal friendship tightknit #so i do dislike making val the main 'villain' just for tension purposes #but freak4freak radiostatic questions are always welcome!#ran rambles #hazbin hotel #radiostatic #general asks

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dballzposting · 5 months

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I know we r in our yajirobe™ era rn but can we talk about ms chichi ? had an epiphany about her 30 minutes ago thougt id share

shes kinda like marge simpson to me if marge didnt take no prisoners (ever)(will not elaborate). like i remember when she let goku take gohan one time (1) to go see his friends and then her husband DIED and she didn't see her son for like 9 months. and then the next 10 or so years hes just put in perilous situations all the time, none of which she can prevent or protect him from. absolutely insane. I would have gone absolutely insane. The throes of despair id be in.. The feeling of overwhelming helplessness... woman is stronger than any us marine.

LIKE I kinda GET WHY SHE GETS FUSSY AND HAS HANGUPS ABOUT CERTIAN THINGS NOW..... like warnjng goten abt city woman or drilling gohan about his education... DELINQUENTS.... etc etc.. just SOMETHING she could do to protect them even a little bit!! even a little bit!!! working within her limitations yanno

obviously I think if she had like a normal life with a normal spouse and kids she probably wouldn't be this uptight or high-strung (or would she???). But since that's not what she'll ever have, maybe it drives her off the edge a little. That a life where her family is both safe and alive may not be possible after all. I guess its not a surprise that her emotions can often manifest in violent ways. wounded heart :-(

in summary i think chichi should be allowed to smooch any one she wants (mr piccolo) maybe get an all expense paid for trip to iceland or something SHE DESERVES IT!!

fin :-)

MAKES SENSE.

She's crazy because her life has been crazy. Totally understandable!

Most pertinent line: "That a life where her family is both safe and alive may not be possible after all. I guess its not a surprise that her emotions can often manifest in violent ways. wounded heart :-("

Also: "The feeling of overwhelming helplessness... woman is stronger than any us marine."

Feelings of helplessness are something that is so absolutely soul-crushing ... We see several characters speak of it, but in the end they are all able to mobilize in some way to deal with it (Krillin was overwhelmed how everyone was dying when Vegeta showed up; he later went to Namek about it, although he never recovered his shattered sense of competence.) (Everybody was feeling helpless during the Cell shit, and I'm specificlaly thinking about when Tenshinhan decided that dying in battle was better than doing nothing, and he went to face Cell and was able to stave him off for a bit using his Kikoho technique) (....Also thinking about how in the original dragon ball, he was forced immobile by some sort of drug Roshi gave him so that he couldn't risk his life interfering when Roshi faced off with Piccolo Daimao.. and how. Absolutely horrifying. That must have been for him. To not be able to move when all of him was needing to. And how he immediately became committed to Doing Something About Piccolo Daimao as soon as he could mobilize.)

I've definitely been on record as saying that Chichi acts the way she does largely because of how helpless she feels. She is subjected to the same helplessness as everyone else, only she never has any hope of doing anything about it. She just has to yell louder and hope that someone will listen this time.

Interesting stuff. Thank you for your empathy and compassion. It makes life meaningful.

See you next time and everpony stay safe

#dballz posting #dballz asks

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anonymous-dentist · 1 day

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Ive been thinking of starting hermitcraft or life series (im not entirely sure what the difference is but something about war and drama on one and builds on another), do you have a recommendation for where to start with either of them?

(Also trying to figure out which one id like the best or maybe ill just get into both)

For the Life Series, you can watch any season you want in any order you want. There's no Deep Lore or anything, just maybe some small references from previous series.

But, if you were curious, the order is: Third Life -> Last Life -> Double Life -> Limited Life -> Secret Life (and then -> Real Life lol)

If you're in it for deep drama and lore... the pov you watch will depend on the season, because sometimes Lore People do different things in different seasons. The only guy that does like Perpetual Lore might be Martyn (Inthelittlewood)?

But, if you wanted to start in the very very beginning with Third Life, the common recommendations are Grian, Scar, Ren, Martyn, Scott. But tbh I think that Cleo and Joel and Pearl are always good options, especially past that first season.

As for Hermitcraft, that's the One With Building... and wars, but those are pretty rare. Lore isn't a huge priority, but some hermits do their own little Lores in their individual seasons, and there's usually one or two Server Lores per season.

There's no order to the seasons, but we are on season 10. Seasons tend to go long (I think season 9 lasted about two years, give or take a few months), so it's good to jump in now towards the beginning.

The hermits I'm personally watching this season are Joel, Grian, and Scar. But I'll give some recommendations below for hermits that do things you might be interested in just off the top of my head!

Crazy insane amazing builds: Bdubs, Pearl, Gem, Joel, Scar, Grian

Redstone magic: Impulse, Etho, Mumbo, Tango, Doc

Lore Guys: Ren, Grian, Pearl-ish (depends on the season I think), Doc

Weird Little Guys: Joe Hills, Zedaph, Joel (yes, he counts)

Chill Stuff: Cleo, Skizz, Joe Hills, plenty of others tbh

But tbh it might just be good to look around, there are SO MANY HERMITS that I didn't even list because I don't know their content well enough!

I will say that you don't need to watch every hermit. That would be like. 30-something episodes a week on average, and that's assuming it's only one episode per hermit, and it doesn't include streams from Scar/Cleo/Ren or stuff like Vodskall

There's a lot of overlap between the Life Series and Hermitcraft, and the Life Series members will be in a lot of Hermit Series because they're all pretty good friends! So if you start with Life and you like someone, follow down their little rabbithole until you find a hermit you dig. Y'know?

#asks!

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luvlyhyunjin · 23 days

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oh my god i just fell down to my knees in the middle of the parking lot

first of all y/n is a better person than me bc i would've denied everything. bc how are you gonna pull up TO MY PLACE and rat me out to MY BF under MY roof???? just ain't no way 😭 i can't really defend y/n on the bet thing but i will say the absolute fucking NERVE to show up to her door and expose her in her own household yeji was so wrong for that i'm cryinggg 😭😭 i would've gaslit them both into the next lifetime like my love she's clearly not in a right mental space rn don't listen to her 😭😭😭 it would've been so bad bc ain't no way you're giving me a read like that under my own roof baby we can go outside for this

but in all seriousness woah this is really crazy. your gf is telling you that she was forced to sleep with somebody and that she was threatened and harassed for months and you're telling her that it's always everybody else's fault but never hers..... yea it's really crazy. i understand hyune's frustration and where he's coming from bc he basically just found out y/n had been continuously lying to him even though he created many opportunities for her to come clean to him and i understand he didn't really mean it but that was a lot. btw the chapter was beautifully written as always, and i particularly love how you work with these characters and make them so nuanced and three-dimensional that you can tell when they're saying stuff they don't necessarily mean but still can understand where they're coming from + how their statements validate their anger bc even if the statement itself is absolutely out of place, their feelings are justified and both things are true at once so you can't bluntly judge one of these things without acknowledging the other. ik i sound like a broken record but the intricate layers that you work with regarding this smau make my literary theory loving self so happy and you deserve all the flowers for it. im absolutely obsessed and my heart is still 200 metres deep like we might as well just bury it atp but i loved every single line 🩷

good news is cat is finally out of the bag!!!! and everybody cheered bc now yeosang has nothing on y/n and he can be finally dealt with. ik we still have a long way to go bc honestly seungmin's revelation gagged me a bit i was like oh???? we still haven't seen hanji and ayen either and im honestly so seated for their carousel debut. but woah this was really the highlight of my week i haven't felt so many things in such a short time in literal days

NO BC same id deny everything like my life depended on it worst case id pretend to fall into a rare amnesia out of nowhere like uhh WHO ARE YOU GUYS EVEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE🤨 🤨🤨

it feels like hyune was too overwhelmed by the weight and length of her lie to fully register what shes saying like he heard everything but didnt really listen

baby :(( idek how to respond to you rn im speechless im just so happy that you think so of my writing i wanna cry and scream and idk thank youu so much i have stopped writing for years and this series was the first thing ive written in a while so to see this overwhelming love and positivity is insane to me :(( also i dont think the rest of skz are gonna debut in carousel tbh han might make an appearance in the past like seungmin but thats about it🥺💗💗 im happy you enjoyed this ty for writing to me🥺🥺

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middleearthpixie · 2 years

Text

Leap of Faith

Armitage Summer Splash #26 ~ thanks to @fizzyxcustard & @lathalea!

Trope: Proposal

Quote: “I miss you”

RA Character: Guy of Gisborne (Modern AU)

Relationship: Guy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (m/f receiving)

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,477

***

“It takes a leap of faith to get things going, in your heart you must trust.”

~Leap of Faith, Lucky Town, Bruce Springsteen, Columbia Records, 1992

“We should go away.”

Guy’s deep voice was so low a whisper in the darkness, it was barely audible, and as he spoke, he tightened his arm about you, tugging you back until you were flush against his chest. His skin was so warm, you were pretty sure you’d never have to worry about freezing in the winter as long as you had him to cuddle up to. You loved nights like this, snuggled in Guy’s arms as you drifted off to sleep. If there was such a thing as perfection, this was it, without a doubt, and it was hard to believe there was a time when you didn't think this could ever happen, when you didn't think being happy was something you’d ever feel where a man was concerned. You had no idea that love was right there, before your eyes, and you just needed to actually see it.

Guy was your best friend and had been since what seemed like the beginning of time, but ever since he confessed to being in love with you, things had changed so much and for the better. The last six months had been the happiest of your life, and he played a huge role in that. Admitting your feelings for one another had been the biggest risk either of you had ever taken and you thanked whatever higher power was listening that you’d found the courage to take that leap of faith.

Of course, the last few weeks had been insane. He was a cop, and had been pulling a ton of overtime lately. As it had been most nights over the last few weeks, you were asleep when he came home, deposited his gun, shield, and ID in their usual spot on your dresser, pulled off his boots, socks, jeans, and tee shirt (probably left them on the floor where he’d been standing at the time) and slid into bed to curve up against you. He never meant to wake you, but that was usually what happened, not that you minded.

“Go away?” You were still half-asleep and not at all sure you’d heard him right.

“Yeah.” He pressed a gentle kiss into the back of your hair, the hand on your stomach lightly sweeping back and forth against your bare skin. “I cleared it with my captain to have the weekend off, so let’s go somewhere. Vermont, maybe. Isn’t that where you wanted to go the last time we talked about going away?”

“Well, yeah, but that was to go skiing. It’s summer now.”

“So what? We need some time away from everyone and everything. I miss you, Angel. I feel like I never see you anymore and I know it’s because I’m working like crazy, but let’s just go.”

He’d called you Angel since you were fifteen years old, only now, you heard the love that he’d always woven into his name for you and you still wondered how you’d never heard it before he confessed his true feelings for you. Still, you smiled into the darkness as his arm tightened about you.

“Okay. Okay. Stop twisting my arm,” you said with a laugh as you carefully rolled in his arms to face him. In the soft glow of the television set (you’d fallen asleep watching SportsCenter) he looked wiped out, with dark smudges beneath his heavy-lidded blue eyes, and he looked as if he hadn’t shaved in a week, black stubble shadowing the lower half of his face. “Maybe we should just take the weekend and stay here.”

“No. I want to get away. If I’m here, someone will find me and fuck it up for us.” He shifted slightly and his lips brushed yours. “So, tomorrow, I figure if we leave around ten, we get there by mid-afternoon.”

“Get where?”

He offered up a sleepy smile. “I booked us into one of those B&Bs, in Tanner’s Peak.”

“What if I’d said I didn't want to go?”

“I’d be enjoying Tanner’s Peak by myself, I guess. But,” he brushed your lips once more, “I knew you wouldn’t say no. I know you, Angel. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”

You smiled into the darkness, tucking your head against him and draped your arm about his hips. “I am a sucker for a good B&B and a road trip.”

He swept a kiss against your forehead. “I thought you might be.”

The Grenville was absolutely adorable and you felt all of the stress of a long week melt away as you set your purse on the small table by the French doors that opened up onto a small balcony. You stepped out into the warm air, and took in the beauty of the Green Mountains all around you. You could only imagine how beautiful it would look in the autumn, when the leaves went red and orange and gold and the mountains would look as if they were on fire. But right now, everything was lush and free and although it was almost July, the air was comfortable, the breeze gentle and welcomed. “Look at this view!”

Guy rolled your wheelies over by the armoire and came out onto the balcony to ease his arms about your waist. “A lot nicer than the city, I have to admit.”

“It’s just so gorgeous here. I could just stare at this all day.”

He gave you a squeeze and as you leaned back into him, he murmured, “I love you.”

You smiled. Six months and you still weren’t quite used to hearing him growl those words to you. You wonder if you would ever get used to hearing them, or if you even wanted to get used to it. There was something to be said about that delicious flutter that swept through you when he said them.

Tilting your head back, you peered up at him. “I love you, too, Guy.”

His smile was something to see. It lit up his face, lightened his eyes, and although he still looked wiped out, he was still the most handsome guy you’d ever seen. He bent to you, and when your lips met, his were soft and teasing, moving against yours slowly. His fingers curved about your cheeks, his thumbs grazing along them.

You parted your lips, your heart skipping a beat at the soft slide of his tongue along yours. Guy kissed like one who thoroughly enjoyed kissing. He kissed you slowly and leisurely, and when he drew away from you, his eyes had darkened to almost cobalt.

You turned toward him, draping your arms about his neck. You had to stretch, as he was nearly a foot taller than you, but you didn't mind. He was worth a kink in the neck.

He bent to you again, and this time, caught you behind your thighs to lift you easily. You curved against him, easing your legs around his waist as your lips met again. Your fingers found their way up into his wavy black hair, threading through where it curled over his collar.

Your stomach fluttered when he turned to bring you back into the room and your kiss deepened. His tongue tangled with yours, teased yours, drew yours back into the wet heat of his mouth. His fingers pressed gently into the muscle along the back of your legs as he pulled you harder against him.

You let out a soft, breathless laugh around his kiss as he bent and pressed you down into the soft bed with its elegant canopy and spiraled posts. He rocked his hips into yours to send a sharp tingle rushing through you and that laugh became a sharp inhale.

Guy broke the kiss to sweep his lips over your chin, down your neck, which sent a delicious chill down along your spine. His fingers curled in the hem of your tank top, and as he kissed his way down, he pushed it up.

He pulled back, offering up the slightly crooked smirk that always threatened to melt you into a puddle of goo on the spot, and whisked the tank over your head, then bent back to kiss along the inner curve of your left breast. Sparks tingled all along your skin, radiating out from where his lips met your skin. To look at Guy Gisborne, one would never think him to be a gentle, tender man. He came across as cold and hard, and had good reason to fashion that persona for the rest of the world. However, the man he became with you was completely different. He allowed himself to let his guard down, let you see the man he kept hidden from the rest of the world, the one who whispered endearments as he made love to you and who cradled you in his arms when it was over. The man who let you see just how loving and gentle he could be. Moments such as these were ones that reminded you of how you’d made the right choice in telling him how you felt about him.

His large hands belied his gentle caresses as he slid one up to curve against the satiny bra cup. His fingers tightened about your breast, easing it from that cup, his thumb moving in a slow circle about your nipple to send those tingles rocketing through you again. Your back bowed of its own, pressing your breast deeper into his hand, which kneaded it until your head did a slow spin and your blood warmed by several degrees.

Sunlight danced along the raven waves of his hair, which always seemed to be a week past needing a trim, as he kissed his way down between your breasts. You threaded your fingers through it, soft and cool and silky to the touch. At times, it frightened you, how deeply your feelings for this man ran. You’d been friends for so long, had been so afraid to jeopardize that friendship and it wasn’t until he confessed feelings for you that you had the guts to acknowledge your own for him.

Now, he’d become everything to you.

He eased a hand beneath you, unhooked your bra and the smile he offered up was wicked and sinful as he rocked back to pull it from you. Then he was back, his lips tight about your nipple, his tongue teasing it slowly. Your eyes grew heavy lidded, your blood became smoke in your veins, your back bowed of its own once more as you whispered, “Guy…”

He caught your nipple between gentle, playful teeth, then released it to surge up and seize your lips once more. You gripped handfuls of his black tee shirt to yank up his back. He pulled away long enough to grab it by the back of the neck and pulled it free, then tossed it over his left shoulder.

You drank in the sight of him, smooth and suntanned, the muscles in his shoulders bulging beneath his skin, just as the muscles did in his upper arms, and across his chest. You ached to touch him, to let your fingers roam over his smooth, hot skin. As he came back flush against you, you did just that. You dragged your fingernails up along his back, smiling against his lips as he shivered against you. Your tough-as-nails cop, shivering beneath your caresses.

He moved back down along your chin, down your throat and between your breasts. Over your stomach. He unbuttoned your shorts with one hand, tugged then zipper down.

Whisked them off.

You couldn’t hold back your sigh as he kissed his way over the triangle of black lace over your mound. He hooked his thumbs in the lacy sides to draw the thong down, and you shoved a hand into his hair as he took his first slow, teasing taste of you. You couldn’t hold back your low moan as hot, spiky pleasure swirled through you with each lazy pass. He was gentle at first, just warmed you up as he brought you closer and closer the edge in a slow, delicious way that made your head spin. That made your blood sing. That made you whisper his name into air now scented with musk and sin.

Your hips moved of their own, rolling slowly to meet him as the wave crested. He teased you. He tortured you. He made every nerve ending tingle and every pleasure center vibrate and as he brought you to the summit, he increased his speed, paid far more attention to your clit as he came hard against it, rough and amazing. Knots twisted deep inside you. Your core began the slow melt that would end with you yanking hard on the fistful of hair you clutched as you cried out, “Guy!” in a husky voice.

Pleasure flooded you, rendered you senseless and breathless as you reached the peak of nirvana. He brought you to the edge, shoved you over, and drove you almost completely mad as you came in a hot, shuddering, fiery flash.

“Guy…” It was a cry in your mind, but a low, husky moan on your lips as you writhed and shuddered beneath him. He slowed down, eased the pressure, brought you back as gently as he knew how, and when he lifted his head, his look was one of utter satisfaction.

You went limp beneath him, fighting for breath, for rational thought, and as he came back up to kiss you, you wrapped all around him, urged him onto his back, and proceeded to kiss your way down over his chest. Over his firm belly.

His belt buckle put up a fight, but you won and when you tugged open his jeans, tugged down the waist of his boxer briefs, his hands sank into your hair as you freed him from the confines and drew him deep.

“Oh… Angel…” His fingers twisted in your hair, his hips arching toward you as you pulled gently, as you swirled your tongue along the length of his shaft, over the wide head, and flicked along beneath it. He thrust to meet each pull, your name a whispered moan as he breathed, “Oh, Christ… I want you…”

You released him with a soft pop and then crawled back up over him, positioned him, and came down to sheathe him a fluid, silken caress. You moved slowly, bracing your hands on his chest. His eyes were heavy lidded, almost sapphire with desire, and his voice was a husky growl. “Ride me… oh, yes… just like that…”

You slowed down, rising and falling to savor the fullness of him inside you. His eyes closed, a muscle bulged along his jaw, his fingers tightened on your thighs. Then, he opened his eyes, a wicked smile playing at his lips as he slid one hand into the shadows between your thighs, where he teased your clit with gentle fingers, whispering, “Faster, love…”

“Guy…” You came down harder against him, the fire taking root, your climax winding its way through you.

“Oh, yes, squeeze me again…” His fingers moved about your clit faster now, with a bit more pressure. The tingles returned, burned through you as your body demanded you ride him harder now, faster, and make you both come.

You rocked faster now, came down onto him harder. He eased his hand from between your legs to grip your hips and moved you faster still. He arched hard to meet you, growling his pleasure as he seemed to grow harder still inside you.

“Oh, yes…”

“Guy…”

“Angel…”

You shattered at the same time, each coming undone by the other. You threw your head back, surrendered to the moment, to the fiery, utterly delicious bliss ripping thorough you from Guy’s body into yours. Your fingernails dug into his chest. His fingers bit into your thighs. He arched hard. You squeezed.

It was heaven.

Sheer, perfect, heaven.

He caught you, cradled you as you sank against him, fighting to breathe once more. His arms wrapped about you, his voice husky and breathless as he whispered, “I love you…”

“I—I love you, too,” you managed to breathe back, your eyes closing. His heart pounded like mad beneath your ear, his chest rising and falling in a rapid pace. His hand came to rest at the back of your head, his fingers gentle as they stroked along it.

A comfortable silence fell and you were content to lay there, wrapped in his arms, until time itself ground to a halt.

Unfortunately, not only did it not grind to a halt, but it was now getting messy.

Reluctantly, you eased off him and he smiled as you rose to pad into the bathroom, where you retrieved the two hand towels, passing one to him. After you cleaned up, he caught you by the hand to tug you back into his arms.

You snuggled against him, tucking your head against his chest. This was one of your favorite things about sex with him. He was a cuddler by nature, which surprised you at first, but now? Now, you knew you could lay there, your body entwined with his, forever. Again, the front he presented to the world was vastly different, so the first time you slept together, when he pulled you into his arms just like he did now, you were floored. He was far more romantic than any other man you’d ever dated. And even after all these months, it hadn’t changed. Somehow, you didn't think it ever would.

He pressed a kiss into the top of your head. “Weekend is off to a good start.”

“It certainly is.”

“You know,” his fingers moved lightly along your hand, “I’ve been thinking, maybe we should move in together. I mean, I’m at your place more than I’m at my own, so…”

You craned your neck to gaze up at him. He needed to shave in the worst way, but you didn't mind it so much. It gave him a rough, dangerous look that you’d gotten quite fond of in recent weeks. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“I like this idea.”

“I thought you might.” He kissed the top of your head again. “There was something else I thought we should talk about as well.”

“What’s that?”

To your surprise, he pulled away from you and slid to the edge of the bed, where he stood and crossed over to his bag. You bit back a sigh at the sight of him. He was in such fine shape, just beautiful as far as guys went.

But when he turned, it wasn’t his physique that snatched your breath from your lungs (although it was, indeed beyond breathtaking, really.) Instead, it was the small, black box he held in one hand.

“Guy?” You sat up, swallowing hard as he came back to stand alongside the bed. “What’re you doing?”

“We’ve known each other since we were what? Fourteen? Fifteen? And you’re the reason I’m still here, Angel. You know that, right? I’d have been lost without you and honestly? I wouldn’t have made it out of my teens alive if it weren’t for you.” His eyes were more serious than you’d ever seen them, holding yours as he went on, “You’re my best friend. You’ve always been my best friend and the best decision I ever made was finally having the balls to tell you how I feel about you.”

Your blood roared through your ears, your heart hammered so hard against your ribs that for a moment, you thought you might just pass out. Your mouth was dry, but your palms were damp. “Guy?”

He opened the box. Inside, on a bed of black velvet, sat a simple but beautiful ring—a solitaire diamond with pavé diamonds all along the sides. He lifted it from the velvet and held it out. You stared at first at it, then him, your eyes stinging as you swallowed to try to clear that roar from your ears.

“I love you, Angel. I’ve loved you since we were just kids. So, why don’t we make us permanent?” He offered up that adorable smirk once more as he eased the ring onto your finger. “Will you marry me?”

“Guy…” Your voice failed you, emerging as a thin whisper. “Are you serious?”

“Do you think I’d joke about this?”

“Well… no…”

“So, how about it? Will you make an honest man of me?”

You swallowed again and nodded, whispering, “Yes.”

He smiled then and leaned in to capture your lips with his. A laugh bubbled to your lips as he came up to press you back down into the bed.

Like it? Love it? If so, please love it, leave a comment, reblog it, or do all three! 💜💜💜

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knitastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @ggfamert @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78

#armitage summer splash #richard armitage #romance #guy of gisborne #guy of gisborne x oc #guy of gisborne x reader #guy of gisborne modern AU

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freebooter4ever · 10 months

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how's the job hunt going? would you ever relocate for a job love?

Oh wow what a question lol! Honestly i dont expect to be able to find anything new till this strike is over, the competition is insane right now. In the meantime my plan is to teach myself faster hard surface sculpting in z*brush using hockey gear \o/ mostly because i dont want to pay the $150 a month for maya, that shits insane. Like a fucking health insurance payment.

For the second question - i dont think i've ever experienced love like that. I think it would take a lot of devotion and sacrifice to give up your dreams for someone else. Admirable, for sure. And also a sacrifice that historically women are the ones expected to make. Every time. :( For a job? Lol, i would move in a heartbeat. I stayed in pittsburgh 6 years after college for my dream job - i only left when i lost it. Knew the next dream job wasnt going to be there, so made my way to LA. And now im having to come to terms with the idea that the dream job doesnt exist as i imagined it - or only exists for a very VERY select few.

And actually, thats not totally true about me and love. I think if i thought for one second that nick could love me back like i diid him, id already be in new england. When i applied to this one job, that sounded like a dream come true it listed the salary, and brian and i just read it and gaped. We looked at each other and i was like i dont even know what the fuck i would DO with all that. And of course the first thing that popped into my mind was i could buy that sailboat nick always talked about. When i was writing my programming textbook a decade ago, and really going through it, and nick and i were up until 3 or 4am every night painting theater sets, he'd talk about his sailing adventures, teach me rope knots, that sort of thing, basically a mental escape. And so last week i texted him like 'hey no promises but what if im suddenly actually making good money. Do you still want that boat?' Because, nick's worked so long and so hard and all he's gotten to is the point of still working on boats other people own, and its just not fair how devalued physical labor is, you know? And his immediate reaction was to launch into our very old daydream - the whole 'yes and you're coming with me, sail off into the sunset' stuff. And that hadnt occured to me - my idea was just- id give him the boat, and he'd fix it up, and id maybe demand photos or a visit or two every so often. Because i think finally -finally- im at a point in my life where being in love isnt enough - i want the other person to love me back. And lol definitely not someone who declares love one minute and then stops talking to me for weeks or months, and the cycle repeats over and over. I think its possible to love someone enough that you recognize you arent the one for them, but still want them to be happy? Happier than you could make them.

So long answer is yes, i would relocate for love, but i have learned the hard way to know when i shouldn't.

#And if this anon is who i think it might be?#My friend i fully support your adventure across countries for love <3 #Just please have back up plans cause as romantic as love is #Sometimes it can go wrong and you need to be independant enough to extricate yourself from bad situations #whether thats just having the savings or having family friends connections who can help wherever you are going #I know personally how VERY wrong love can go #And im not saying it would happen but if something does go wrong you dont want to end up trapped #Out of the frying pan and into the frier so to speak #Im on the negative side of this debate #a positive example of relocating for love would be my favorite youtuber couple justin scar*ed and ally war*en #Her whole story was absolutely an escape from her family the minute she could and helped by justin #but i feel like theyre the lucky ones not all of us get that #anyway lol if this isnt who i think it might be sorry!!#that was a long rant from me

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