I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors

I am finally better from being sick a few days ago B] and finished the ref for Zero in the sweet home AU by @asamary (sorry for the tag)

Now I can freely do silly lil comics about it HAHA

thinking about my exit interview that was super informal but at one point i was like okay i will say something positive about the team and my ex manager was like okay

and then we both sat there in silence for a solid minute

i wonder if its gonna make sense that lunar explaining reminded me a lot of lapis

sometimes I do go a little crazy thinking about other characters time in the desert otherworld besides Carlos and Kevin. Dana was one of the first to be trapped there and explore it. Lauren was forced to wander it- dehydrated and starving- for years before finding Desert Bluffs Too. everyone out there with their own little pieces of otherworld trauma

Can we talk about mitsuham I think we should talk about mitsuham yes I’d like that very much

Imagine Mitsuru her life has been planned out for her by a bunch of men her choices are not hers to make every move is political she is nothing but a tool forced to fight as a child never allowed to burden anyone with her feelings. Her life isn’t hers, it’s never been hers for a second, she exists to further the careers of the men around her. The first two friends she makes are both boys and she was in charge of leading them, using them just to further the Kirijo agenda. Genuine friendship did blossom between them, but things fell apart pretty quickly. Shinjiro can’t control Castor, something is seriously wrong with him, he kills someone, then he leaves and the Kirijos cover it up. Was it to protect him, or to protect themselves? Mitsuru certainly doesn’t know anymore but she’s lost a friend and can’t reach him again, he’s too traumatized by personas and Akihiko is still there but he’s always so stuck on Shinjiro and Mitsuru feels like she failed both of them. Just more men for her to let down by not being good enough

Then there’s Kotone. Sweet, strong, clumsy, talented Kotone. She’s so bubbly and friendly, but behind those warm smiles is horrible loneliness. Pain. But she’s never ever gonna let anyone see that. She busies herself by taking care of everyone else, listening to their problems and never burdening them with her own feelings. She can just fix everything and make everyone happy if she works herself hard enough. She just has this way about her, so reliable and so kind

And Mitsuru watches Kotone from above. Trusts her to be the leader, or maybe she just wanted to push a burden onto someone else for a change. Someone who’s able to take on burdens with a smile for fucks sake. And Kotone leads, seemingly effortlessly, and is able to recruit several members in a short time and achieve just so much more than Mitsuru could in her entire lifetime. Just, perfectly. Without even possessing any prior knowledge of the dark hour or personas. And she does this while being so emotional, so social, so weird, so fucking cute, it’s absolutely nauseating. This should be fine, right? It’s what Mitsuru’s always wanted, for someone else to ease her burden. And hell, it’s a woman too, a woman who’s perfectly capable of doing it all without a bunch of men helping her. It’s inspiring, isn’t it?

But there’s the pain. The envy. Kotone is perfect and she doesn’t even have to try. Mitsuru on the other hand has been shaving herself down to nothing just to be allowed a place. She makes the perfect grades and wears the beautiful clothes and applies the fucking makeup and is mature for her age and never speaks out or feels anything that could possibly make her be seen as a human, a filthy fucking human. So why does a woman as unashamed as Kotone get to have it all? And why is Mitsuru still here, still acting as the Kirijo tool, still doing whatever she possibly can to hurt herself to make a man feel better? Why isn’t she useful anywhere? It’s not fair

And then when she actually spends the time with Kotone she’s trying so hard to be that wise and mature figure she’s always been, trying so hard to force herself to smile through the pain, but she’s talking to someone who can see right through that shit cuz Kotone Shiomi invented lying through her teeth to make others feel better. It’s annoying really, how Kotone is supposed to be the childish one, yet it’s Mitsuru who can’t get it together and can’t seem to look into those bright eyes without breaking. And Kotone isn’t disgusted by what she sees, even though Mitsuru is being unreasonable and emotional and talking about wanting to run away and how much she hates her life and how she’s not only eating fast food but enjoying it, letting herself enjoy an indulgence that won’t make her pretty anymore. No, Kotone sees this and listens and encourages it and celebrates it, celebrates how utterly human Mitsuru is. She holds her hand and says "let me take on your burden". And it’s horrible, this kindness, Mitsuru hasn’t even broken all her bones to make Kotone happy, so why is she being so fucking nice? And then something breaks, and Kotone defends her. Stands up for her against a man. Lets herself once again take a hit to protect someone else. And it’s just too familiar, too much to fucking bear, and it pisses Mitsuru the fuck off. And she is able to tell a man to go fuck himself, because no one gets to fucking talk to this girl like she isn’t the most amazing person ever to exist. Not after everything she’s done, everything she still does, not after giving her all and never once asking for anything in return. And in standing up for Kotone, Mitsuru is able to stand up for herself for the first time in her life. And she looks at Kotone and says "let’s take on each other’s burdens"

Oh and also they watch a scary movie together and hold hands and ride a motorcycle and Mitsuru calls Kotone adorable I mean that’s pretty gay man

drawing other people's dnd characters based on the image i made of them in my head and NOTHING ELSE because i'm evil

sometimes. You must watch the final episode of saiki k reawakened and just sit there like, utterly vibrating. Foaming at the mouth. Its like Cinematic to me, you understand

the knowledge that ted has helped guide richmond to be a healthier and more supportive place and now we're seeing nate returning to the fold after being forgiven by beard the way ted had forgiven and offered a second chance to beard himself and jamie has a support system and rebecca has been growing more self-assured and open and keeley has been able to achieve so much and roy has become a great coach and an even better man and and and and-

and. all the foreshadowing about ted going back to america. learning that not only was ted trying to give michelle space, but that he's been afraid of hurting his son the way his dad hurt him - acknowledging that and being open about his pain with his mother. do i think that ted is going back to kansas? yeah. but i'm scared that his time in richmond will have changed him so much that he won't be able to step out of his life there so easily anymore. he's always been a coach, yeah? he's there, and so supportive, but at the end of the day he's on the sideline. but not only has ted been helping encourage openness, forgiveness, and growth around him, we're seeing it within himself. and it hurts to think of him leaving that behind, even if it is to be there for his son. but maybe he's ready for it. i don't really know. but seeing how much love he's brought into richmond and then seeing that love returned back to him makes the idea of leaving heartwrenching

is anybody else out there still creating twdg fanworks 😭📢 where is everyone please dont say reddit i cant go back there

@redemptionarcsucker

NO CAUSE LITERALLY HELIA IS ANYTHING BUT THE POET

I know it would be really easy to assume that Helia is a poet, most obviously due to him actually being a literal poet and yknow. writing poems. Add on that he is genuinely good with his words and it's like! Duh! BUT NO!! A huge part of his character is that he wants to be the poet but he isn't. Helia acts like a poet. He makes a great first impression, he watches people carefully and responds in whatever way will move the situation best, he can be bitterly truthful and secretive all at once. But while that is still part of him, it's also so, so small in comparison to how he feels inside and how he actually acts.

While I have pondered Helia being the soldier, I gravitate much more toward the King. The king archetype is all about the responsibility that you don't want, that you don't deserve, but still feeling so loyal to it that you can't get away. No matter what they truly want in life, the kings will always go back to that responsibility because it's become them, and leaving literally feels like part of them is gone. They believe they have an intense duty to that responsibility and that leaving would make them the worst person in the world. And like,,, anyone with Helia Brain knows that this is him!! It's everything he feels about Red Fountain!!

Being the poet is all about embracing freedom and that's the one thing Helia refuses to do. He can't do it. He feels so intensely loyal to Red Fountain, and now to his friends, that any other option feels like betrayal to him. His own freedom feels like a betrayal. And that's just such a sad king move,,,

If u have an opinion on the subject, why do u think hyeju hasn't made an Instagram account?

A lot of people have different answers for this ranging from she hates everything about LOONA and the idol industry to she's taking a mental health break and being forced to post on Fromm, but I think the easiest answer is that Hyeju just... doesn't like taking photos of herself. She mentioned recently on Fromm that it's been hard to take photos for the app because she simply doesn't take photos of herself unless it's for work, and she's mentioned before on multiple Vlives that she pretty much only takes photos if she thinks she feels obligated to for the benefit of fans. More than that, she doesn't even like looking at her face, it's awkward/uncomfortable, so I think maintaining an instagram where fans would expect her to post selfies, as well as keeping up on the aesthetic side of things (like how the feed looks, or social stuff like responding to stories and comments) is probably exhausting even just as a concept to her. Inexplicably she's very self conscious about her aesthetic sense, and often turns any arts and crafts endeavor (like with Vivi's birthday 'card' as seen in LTV) into a joke to avoid scrutiny.

Of course she's literally under no obligation to post selfies and she could just post landscapes or sunsets, which she does like taking photos of, and I'm sure few would complain, but the pressure as a celebrity to post selfies specifically is probably what makes her reluctant to.

And in case it needs saying explicitly, this is just speculation and I couldn't possibly know why

guess who cried today thinking about nico robin?

Had a dream last night about my summer gig and they just emailed me. My mind..

tbh the very first 'mens' vest to ever be tailored to a 'woman' by disneyland's costuming department being a thing in my closet with my name sewn inside it is a very cool feeling... i fought hard for that