I had cooked a pizza for dinner last night, though I wasn't really hungry and only ended up eating one slice, then both my parents had one slice each

I was planning on eating the rest for lunch today, but when I woke up from my nap my mom told me she ate the rest of my pizza because she has the munchies

😮‍💨 Can't have shit in Detroit I guess

byler + santa clarita diet au where will is sheila and mike is joel. you nod and clap and agree because you know that it fucks severely and fits them perfectly, yes

summary for the uninitiated:

Seeing hozier tomorrow night and I’m soo excited…

Jiang Cheng had a lot on his plate. Political shitshow, balancing the needs of his sect with the needs of newcomers, navigating a new fake-but-also-kind-of-real relationship. He had those problems handled, more or less. The problem he was avoiding, then, was that of Wei Wuxian.

the next instalment of my fake marriage fix-it! the google doc for this fic was titled "wwx doing necromancy in the jiang sect basement"

brainrioting over domestic zhaolu and stepdad! zhao especially. pls im thinking about him taking care of lucifer's little brothers and satan and belphie literally adore him so much (crying)

STEPDAD ZHAO!! he speaks to the teachers for belphie when he's caught sleeping in class or was too tired to do his homework and nearly always gets him let off the hook. after a while belphie starts getting genuinely sulky if zhao goes too long without tucking him into bed

(mammon's like "aren't you embarrassed, you're a grown demon" and belphie just chucks a pillow at him and goes to ask zhao to make him some hot chocolate)

he brings satan snacks whenever he's fixated on a book and tries to make them cat-themed whenever possible... one time satan gets a bowl of carrots cut into wonky cat-head shapes and he doesn't even like carrots, but he still eats them all

he talks to shop workers when levi's too nervous to, makes sure beel always has access to something nice and filling, helps asmo film stuff and is like 'you're doing great champ!!' the whole time, and is very painstakingly teaching mammon how to cook :')

.

okay. i cleared out the space under my bed so the princess will have so much MORE room for activities than she previously did. at least until Saturday and we move to the new place and she can decide if she's going to play nice with the boys finally.

me when my friends tell me to get together after class to merendar!!yay!!!! but when i get there they have actuallyalready eaten and i dont even sit we just walk to the train station and them i have to leave :/

Autism test: do you get upset when your schedule changes unexpectedly?

Me: lol no why would I??

That weekend....

Mom: oh we have to drop this off at X house before we go to the store :) it'll just take a second then we'll be on routine :)

Me: that wasn't fucking negotiated!! I did not agree to this before I got in the car!!

Also Me: *angrily sits on silence and snaps at anyone who talks at me*

i luv to make my little schedules and schemes and plans. they make me so happy

goodnight whatevers

The wild mouse in the apartment chewed through my bag of bagels

I caught two of them already?? Maybe it’s the same one bc I used a live trap and didn’t release it far enough away outside I just kinda popped out the door and let them go, I didn’t walk a few blocks away but I should do that next time

I should neverrr have accepted this shift. Literally every problem I have would be irrelevant if I didn’t have to go to work today

my aunt is impossible

i’ve resigned to thumbs up emojis, ‘yeah’, ‘haha’, and ‘oh’

unsolicited parenting advice of the day tell your kids what to expect! If your two year old is anxious about when dad is going to get home from work, teach him to recognize what patterns indicate that dad is coming home soon! After lunch we will do an activity and then clean and THEN dad will get home. Listen when the calendar day starts with an S dad does not have to go to work!!

and if something goes wrong and today does NOT go according to the plan your little guy expects, tell him!! Hey, dad has to go to work after all today, but he will be home after lunch! Today dad has to get groceries after work, so he’ll be home later than normal. But he will return with more bananas! Focus on the positives too, give them things they can understand. Don’t just say “not today,” they understand the concept of grocery stores and unexpected trips. Just tell them the problem. You’d hate being in the dark about everything that happens to you also. Let them control their situation, even if it’s just their own emotions and expectations.

or even! Teach them to read an analogue clock! Let me tell you, church nursery in the 1.5-3.5 age group got so much less stressful and anxious for EVERYONE when I taught my kids how to read the clock. They don’t have to ask me anymore how much time is left and fish for answers I can’t give them. They know that their guardians will come for them when the long stripe on the clock touches the 2, and that if they aren’t there then then they’re LATE and they get to hold this over their parents head. Because they know their parents can be late. And they LOVE knowing when this has occurred. There is so much less anxiety.

anyway explain stuff to your kids, they want to know. This has been an unsolicited parenting advice PSA

I love how anytime I try to sit down and write someone has something for me to do.