#and then you got the cheating rumors and baby number 4 rumors and just to add to shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

little-red-toyota · 3 years

Text

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…

4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think? I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

#good bye to ttte #tw//suicide #tw//rape #tw// bullying #tw//depression #tw//ptsd #tw//ttte #tw//sex #tw//abuse #tw//domestic abuse #I'm done

5 notes · View notes

mbakuetshurisprincess · 4 years

Text

Needed Me

AN: OK so I’m kind of in love with this fic like hardcore love it. But like y'all I had to write a toxic Erik it just felt like the right thing to do. SORRY! Like always big ups to: @chaneajoyyy for da proof read!

Summary: A relationship that’s dragged on and off for years has come to it’s peaking point.

Pairing: Toxic Erik x reader

Warnings: cussing, threatens of killing, yk the normal Erik shit

Word count: 1,843

Suggested listening: So Gone (What My Mind Says) - Jill Scott

“C’mon bring ya ass outside Y/N this is your last warning.”

“Erik please can we just talk about this over the phone we don’t need to be face to face.”

“Y/N you know I have no problem killing that punk ass nigga that’s in there with you, I suggest you get you shit and come outside right now before it gets bloody.”

“Fuck” you hissed. You knew Erik wasn’t playing around about what he said. You grabbed your purse and jacket and opened the front door.

Erik Stevens was a toxic son of a bitch. No sugar coating the fact that he relied on his good looks and natural charisma and it made him spoiled in his young adult life, when he saw something that he wanted he got it with ease and very little push back. And his freshman year in college he decided that what he wanted was you.

The first time that you guys were together it was picture perfect, he would pick you up from class and spend the night in your dorm room. The breakup however was messy, accusations of cheating flew around in a whirlwind of problems you had with Erik and it was just one of many things that caused the fall of your relationship. A month later, just when you had started healing from your relationship he came back to you, his brother in Oakland died and you were the closest thing to family he had at Stanford. Obviously you welcomed him back into your bed that night allowing him to release all of his stress onto you and then holding him when he processed the realization of his family member dying. But by your sophomore year same as before your relationship had been plauged with rumors of cheating this time from both parties and after a fight in which he chocked you up onto a wall, but because you both were horny fucks only turned into a fit of passionate sex. But after that it was done you kicked Erik out and he stayed out, blocking him on all social media and stopping sharing your location with him. All ties were cut.

But nearly 4 months later when he saw you grinding up on a random nigga at a kickback his blood starting boiling, how dare you let him touch you like that you were practically humping him at this fucking party. And does that nigga not know who Erik is?? Most guys at Stanford steer clear of you in order not to piss Erik off but this guy doesn't seem to care. Erik didn’t remember much about that night just fist colliding with a face and your shrill scream begging him to get off of whatever the guys name was. He made you go home with him and the entire car ride you rode in silence.

Up the elevator: Silence

Walking throughout the hall to get to his apartment: Silence

Entering into the common room that he shared with his two roommates: Silence.

You didn't finally erupt until you walked in this dorm

“Are you fucking kidding me Erik!” you threw your jacket down onto his bed.

“Watch who the fuck you're talking to Y/N” Erik said as he started removing his jacket and shoes.

“Why would you do some shit like that huh? You don’t want anyone to be happy unless it’s with you!”

“Shut the fuck up and let’s go to sleep” Erik said lazily as he removed his shirt and laid out on the bed. He knew what he was doing, his body and the sex that came with it where the only reason you guys stayed together. BUT his little trick wasn’t gonna work this time.

“No. I’m going back to see Brandon and apologize to him for your behavior” You reached to grab your jacket off the bed giving Erik the perfect opportunity to grab your wrist and force you to straddle him.

“Why you always gotta be so difficult hmm?” He asked as he used his free hand to stroke your cheek.

“Let me go Erik I’m serious, I need to go apologize to Brandon for your dumbass actions. He probably doesn't even wanna fuck with me anymore because of you” you wiggled slightly trying to release yourself from his grasp.

Erik let go of your hand and started stroking your thigh “You're not even trying to leave if we’re both being honest, if you really wanted to leave you would have left already. You like being with me, just admit it.”

You threw your head back and let out a sigh, Erik wasn't wrong, you always felt comfortable around him and right now was no different but you couldn’t let him know that. Today was the day that you were going to end a very vicious cycle. You got off of Erik and grabbed your jacket

“Fuck you Erik”

Erik chuckled at that “Ay princess” he called out to you as you walked out of his room “Let me find out that you're over that niggas house, I promise I wil come over and air that bitch out. Text me when you get home I don’t want to have to come find you myself.”

Erik was a man of action but for some reason you didn’t believe him this time, the first thing that you did as soon as you got out of his apartment complex was to call an Uber to Brandon’s place.

When it pulled up to his house you texted Brandon to let him know that you were outside and he opened the door to him. Honestly he didn’t look too bad for getting into a fight with Erik, you'd seen guys come out looking much worse, he just had a black eye with some puffiness. You didn’t say anything to him but a mutual understanding of the sorry’s that hadn't been said were being said with looks. He held out his hand to you and you took it following him into his bedroom. You both undressed and got into bed quickly, not wanting anything other than to just be in the others company. He knew about your relationship with Erik and he was the first person to help you fully realize just how toxic it was, even though you would never say it out loud. Eventually you drifted off to sleep while he held you in his arms, finally feeling calm.

You awoke to banging on his front door and by the fact that Brandon had just sat up you knew it couldn’t be good. Brandon didn’t get into anything on campus that would constitute someone knocking in his door at god what time was it? You reached over to grab your phone and soon realized what the banging was about. You had 36 missed calls from Erik, 17 facetime calls and 50 text messages. You were fucked plain and simple. That's when you heard it:

“Y/N I’m not fucking playing with you I swear to god come outside or I’m coming in there to get you” You could tell it was Erik and he wasn’t happy.

“Fuck” you muttered to yourself as you slid out of Brandon’s bed and started pulling on your skirt that you had worn and searched for your shirt.

“You can’t go out there Y/N” Brandon said as he got out of bed throwing on a pair of shorts.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK “I'm getting impatient Y/N!”

“No one else is gonna be able to calm him down right now, you just don’t get him. I’m not going back to him just talking to him.” You threw your phone and charger into your purse and looked around for your socks.

“That’s bull shit, you and I both know it. Just call him and see if you can work it out over the phone.”

You looked at Brandon and saw the desperation in his eyes. Not desperate for you to be with him necessarily but desperate for you to be away from Erik.

“Fine” you said as you put your shoes on.

You grabbed your phone and dialed Erik’s number.

“Hi baby” you thought sweet talking would work. I didn’t, but it did make Erik laugh.

“C’mon bring ya ass outside Y/N this is your last warning.”

“Erik please can we just talk about this over the phone we don’t need to be face to face.”

“Y/N you know I have no problem killing that punk ass nigga that’s in there with you, I suggest you get you shit and come outside right now before it gets bloody”

“Fuck” you hissed, you knew Erik wasn’t playing around about what he said. You grabbed your purse and jacket and opened the front door. There he was standing right in front of you, dressed in a wife beater and grey nike sweatpants with his piece sitting comfortably on his hip, you would never admit it but seeing him like that made you wetter than ever.

“Damn that nigga didn’t even walk you to the front door, what a bitch. Let’s go we got some shit to work out” Erik said as he wrapped his arm around your waist and led you to the car. You saw M’baku and T’challa sitting in the drivers and passenger seat of the g-wagon. Erik opened the door for you and you shimmed in. You had been in the g-wagon before but never in the back seat. You assumed using someone's Wakandan connection they had tricked out the back so it was enough space to lay down and still have space.

“T’challa do me a favor and put down the partition me and my girl need to exchange some words.” Erik said.

“You sure she’s still your girl” M’baku muttered causing T’challa to laugh as he closed the partition.

“You know how embarrassing shit like that is?” Erik asked you “we’ve been together since freshman year and niggas are still questioning our devotion to each other”

“They wouldn't have to if you didn’t give them a reason too.” you said in a hushed tone.

“You question my devotion to you baby girl? You think I’m out here fucking on other girls?” He slid his hand up your skirt and rubbed your inner thigh. “You gave me all of you, aren’t I right? I was your first everything, first boyfriend, first body, first love, let me make you feel good again. Like I did that first time.”

In your mind you flashed back to the night that you let Erik take your virginity, not even just the sex but the simplicity of everything. No one was arguing both of you were just 100% present in the moment just there with the other person.

You looked down at Erik as he pulled your skirt down your legs, he paused when he got it past your knees. “I need you to tell me that you want this, tell me that you need me.”

You heard your words that you said to Brandon echo in your head.

“I’m not going back to him.”

“I need you Erik”

#erik x reader #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger fic #killmonger imagine #black panther #black panther fanfiction #black panther imagine #black panther fic #black panther fandom

137 notes · View notes

onisiondrama · 4 years

Photo

PART 8 - video #14 & #15

(Click here for video mirrors)

[I just want to note: these are not my thoughts or words. I’m only summarizing what Greg / James is saying in his videos for people that don’t want to listen to him. I had a couple messages in my inbox from people who (I think) misunderstood what I’ve been posting, so I wanted to clarify I’m not defending Greg lol.]

the did nots

- Greg says someone named Kelly wrote him. He asked her to watch one of the many videos about him and tell him what the accusations were because he wants to address them because it’s easy and fun for him. - 4:25 His ex claimed she had a seizure and he was the cause of it. - He asks how could he be the cause of a seizure? Unless he hit someone over the head with a rock. Despite what people say about his brow, he’s not a caveman. - He didn’t call an ambulance and he recorded it for a Youtube video. - Greg says she faked the seizure. She had done it twice before. One of those times when he went to call an ambulance she popped up and snapped out of the seizure. If you met someone like that you’d understand, but it takes life experience to understand who they are. - 6:00 Claimed he groomed an underage person. - Says grooming isn’t calling someone a c-u-n-t. That’s like brushing your hair with razor blades and lemon juice. - 7:38 Greg targets vulnerable people. - Says it doesn’t make any sense. Are all these people damsels in distress? Are they incapable of defending themselves? Sarah was arrested for beating the crap out of a grown man. Not vulnerable, actually scary. So scary he spend the night in the garage because he was afraid she’d murder him. She had a full gremlin face. People like talking without knowing and call themselves reporters. - 8:31 Kai send and received explicit photos. - Says we no, Kai hates p-o-r-n. People make these claims with no evidence. You don’t have to give $20,000 to some a-hole, you just need legitimate concrete evidence. No one does that because no one has it. He’s seen people threaten to fake evidence. He’s seen screen shots of people who want to create fake evidence with deep fakes. If you wanted something done you should have talked to a lawyer and handled it privately, now the case is manipulated and contaminated. The livestreams contaminated everything. It’s a circus. - 8:00 Two people argued over who will take someone’s virginity. - He says “retarded” isn’t a good enough word for that. No one would argue about taking someone’s virginity unless you’re talking past tense. He says that’s totally different. They didn’t take her virginity. Kai did nothing and just layed there. [He talks about the crime against Sarah again.] People shouldn’t say Kai likes CP. That’s crazy, kids are disgusting. Nothing is attractive about them. Snot, my little pony obsession, backpacks, they don’t understand anything in the world. - 9:07 Claimed he instigated and had a threesome with someone then kicked her out shortly after she turned 18. - He says no. He says one person was receiving oral and he made love to the 18 year old but they weren’t kicked out shortly after. They were kicked out when they said he needs to impregnate them when they were “mano y mano” with each other in hopes the three of them would come together and be poly. He realized she didn’t care about the other person. - Greg abused his ex. - He asks if it’s the one that cheated on him and got pregnant with someone else’s baby? One time he called the cops on her because she threatened to kill herself and make it look like he did it. That person? Asks why no one considers the abuse toward him. Threatening to make it look like he murdered her is a crime. If he sold prescription pills, he’d be in jail. Sarah sold pills and she told him her mom tried to set her up to marry a guy for a green card and he’d pay her. Those are crimes. He thinks Sarah’s mom is innocent because after everything Sarah said about them they can’t believe anything. It’s loco Sarah shit. She admitted to doing cocaine too. - He dated Shiloh when she was underage. - He says you finally got something- [he cuts off and nods his head]. She was 17. They were both in areas it was legal and he was 24. The police looked into their relationship and checked stuff and they were good to go. Someone tried to get him in trouble, but he knew the law. When you love someone you don’t worry about taboo. - 11:08 Greg had an affair with her while he was still with Skye. - He says if his pp is 3,000 miles long maybe. He didn’t meet her until he filed for divorce. He says this person is an idiot and is spreading slanderous statements. How can you cheat with someone who is on the other side of the country? He laughs and says Skye’s last name isn’t Tantaga, that’s her username. He got a plane ticket when he was already filed for divorce. - 11:55 Shiloh may have been 16 when they first met. - He says he didn’t even talk to her until November 2010. He says look up her birthday she was 17 1/2. “Fucking facts yo.” Why don’t people care about the truth? -14:24 Greg made videos about ex girlfriends that were filled with lies. - He sarcastically says, “very specific, very proof.” No logic, just say “they lie.” - 22:17 Greg had photos from 12-17 in various states of undress on a forum. - Greg says you could just prove that if it’s true. Everyone forgets that website was 18+ and was heavily moderated. “Fucking idiot.” - 23:50 Greg removed forums because they were being investigated. - He asks what forums? He didn’t have forums and he doesn’t care about Hansen. He’s the one that called the cops on Hansen. The cops weren’t there for Chris Hansen, they told Greg to file an anti-harassment protection order against him. There’s nothing to fear. Chris Hansen is an old man and his last job contract wasn’t renewed because someone sued for $100 million and won. The only things to be afraid of are his douchiness and his creepiness. “Fuckin’ boomer.” - 26:10 Youtuber admits he gets more views when he talks about Onision. - Greg says finally something truthful. When this guy talk about anything that doesn’t have to do with Greg it’s like [thumbs down and laughs]. Greg tells them you know what you do and you don’t actually care. - Greg silences ex girlfriends by threatening to sue. - Greg asks when did this happen? He doesn’t remember that. If he did that it didn’t work. The girls are re-tweeting people threatening to burn his house to the ground. Sarah tweeted she wants to psychically attack him. He says she is going to be no one’s victim because she’s a fighter and he’s scared of her. - Greg has 7-8 other victims, possibly more. - Greg says that’s a tough sell because these people aren’t his victims, they’re just people he dumped. He says it’s like high school when people break up and they start rumors about each other. Youtube is high school 2.0. - 29:00 Kai is a victim and was underage when the relationship started. - Greg says Kai was 17 1/2, but told Greg he was about to turn 18. When Kai revealed the truth Greg already fell for him. He doesn’t agree with the victim part because they’re still married. This Youtuber should let kai speak for himself and not speak for people and pretend to be their hero. “Douchebag” - 29:10 Greg violated the mann act, accuses him of human trafficking. - Greg says if that happened, then prove it. When and how did he violate the mann act? - 30:15 He forced someone into signing an NDA and forced her to remain silent after they kicked her out. - Greg says Sarah said she wouldn’t sign the NDA unless she gets what she wants, which was sex. Later on she apologized for r-a-p-i-n-g them. He doesn’t know if she denied it yet, but she probably will. What she did was extortion and was a crime. Says this guy should make a hate video about Sarah now if he really gave a shit. - Greg took advantage of Kai because he was a fan, but that’s subjective. - Greg says stop speaking for Kai. Nobody asked Kai. - Greg groomed Kai. - Greg gives the same response. He says Sarah said she wasn’t groomed. She said “if anything I groomed you” and they thought it was funny until it was real. - Kai had a tinder. - Greg says that was for a video. It was a joke. He calls the Youtuber a joke. - Says he might respond to more because he doesn’t gibe a fuck anymore. He tells people to join OnisionFans.com to DM him questions.

oh my

- He apologizes from the heater noise. He says certain people get mad at him when he turns it off for videos because it makes the house cold. - He’s not sure if he’s being left now for speaking out. He doesn’t know what Kai is going to do now that he’s speaking out. - He wants to talk about the “investigation” (air quotes). He says he doesn’t take it seriously because he knows what actually happened. [Sarah NDA story for the 100th time] If an officer investigated the situation, he would arrest Sarah instead of Greg. Greg also has a witness who was also heavily pressured. You never heard this story from Sarah because she’s a fraud, a liar, she has BPD, she has a number of mental problems. Sarah wouldn’t say anything that would get her in trouble, but Greg said things that might get him into trouble about pressuring Kai. He did that because he felt bad for Sarah, but he should have had no sympathy for her like her mother. Her mother saw her for who she really was, one of the most toxic people he’s ever met. [Locked himself in the garage story.] When Sarah’s mad at you her eyes go from brown to black. - He says a lot of people will agree with him because it’s common sense. About Hansen and his crew, you don’t talk about a open investigations. You don’t try to monetize people’s pain when you’re trying to pursue them legally. You’re supposed to catch them by surprise. - He says when Chris had a show about people who went after 12 year olds, Chris didn’t warn them and tell them he was looking into them. He didn’t make a 9 month series about how terrible they are, then tell them he’ll go to their house to get them. He says it doesn’t make any sense. - Chris is getting donations and ad revenue. These girls feel sorry for themselves because they were dumped. Now they’re vengeful and malicious and they want to get back at him because they probably still want to be with him. If he never dumped them, would they still be together? They never dumped him except when Shiloh dumped him for h-e-n-t-a-i. He thinks they would still be together. Why are they only mad at him after he rejects them? - Hansen is paid to say there is a crime here. Greg saw Hansen allegedly stated he didn’t care about any of them and just wanted money, but he doesn’t believe that. He also saw Hansen hired someone named Anonymous Gene to dox Greg and his whole family. Greg says that doesn’t make sense to dox his whole family. It takes an evil person to do that. - When you have an investigation, you are supposed to stay silent then you catch them by surprise, take their stuff, and try to find something that would prove they’re guilty so they don’t have time to hide anything. - He has never spoken to Regina before as far as he knows. He thinks Regina is ugly. When Regina started talking to Kai when Kai was 17 so anything Regina has to say in nonsensical because of their ages. Kai denied anything was exchanged and isn’t interested in p-o-r-n. Kai is a beta male cuck, nervous, scared, anxiety disorder person, which is why he didn’t want Greg to talk about anything. Regina is a scumbag, horrible human. Regina is now working for Hansen and that’s a conflict of interest. You can’t have a witness work with someone who is making money going after someone. That’s absolute corruption. - Now people are saying they have evidence on him, they have a laptop. Spoiler alert, if you have evidence you tell someone they have it so they can get a warrant. It’s ridiculous because he has nothing of interest, but if he did the audience would have tipped him off forever ago. This was all handled horribly. He saw the other day he saw a public figure say”I hope we get this guy” with no evidence that Greg is guilty. You can’t do that, that’s slander. - The person who had the laptop before Sarah was a woman and she would have never looked at CP. It went from a woman, to another woman who apparently held onto CP for years, said she brought it to the police who did nothing, got it back, sent it to Vince, Vince sent it back. Vince got fired and changed Chris Hansen’s site to his mugshot. Greg says he was told Chris Hansen’s site now redirects to OnisionFans.com. He thinks that’s weird and funny. - Sarah started off by saying she was not groomed and only had her feelings hurt. Then people started working her up and her story progressively became something else. - This is the sloppiest investigation he’s seen in his life. He can’t believe the lack in professionalism. This isn’t a reality show, it’s real life. Greg is worried for Hansen because he put his whole career on this [he lists Hansen’s financial troubles] and if he doesn’t find something legit he’s screwed. - [Sarah laying in his lap story.] Greg thanks Sarah for describing his junk as “perfect.” “It’s just so perfect.” [Sarah being loud story again.] He says she complained he didn’t use the wand on her after he broke up with her. [He shrugs.] Says he meant to but didn’t get around to it. - So your investigation is a guy who had sex with an 18 1/2 year old? This person sexually extorted and blackmailed them. You should investigate her. [He lists supposed crimes she committed.] Greg said she had no idea these were crimes until he told her. “Idiot.”

47 notes · View notes

tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

OK, April 17

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The Robin Williams nobody knew -- his last words, inner struggles and loving heart

Page 1: Big Pic -- Scott Disick lifts daughter Penelope and plays with her cousins Saint West and North West and a pal

Page 2: Contents

Page 4: Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich’s second chance -- just two months after separating Brooks and Julianne are giving their marriage another shot

Page 6: After years of rumors regarding her well-being Britney Spears is preparing to set the record straight on a TV chat or podcast interview

Page 7: Buzz has been building for months over the possibility of Matthew McConaughey running for governor of his home state of Texas, Elizabeth Hurley has openly drooled over George Clooney and his wife Amal Clooney isn’t happy about it, Charlize Theron may seem intimidating to some but not stuntwoman Dayna Grant -- everyone knows how Charlize is an acquired taste and isn’t too social in Hollywood and it’s a breath of fresh air for Charlize to have a genuine friendship

Page 8: Kathie Lee Gifford is mourning the recent death of her dear friend and colleague Regis Philbin and plans to team up with his widow Joy Philbin to honor him in any way she can, Kristen Stewart was nervous enough when she signed up to portray Princess Diana in the upcoming biopic but her anxieties have only worsened because of her touch and go romance with screenwriter Dylan Meyer, fresh off her 79th birthday Martha Stewart is upping her efforts to find a sexy new suitor and she’s turned to close pal Snoop Dogg to help make that happen

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- from blush to magenta stars rock pretty pink frocks -- Regina King, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Lashana Lynch

Page 11: Cynthia Erivo, Sarah Hyland, Laura Dern

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Olivia Munn vs. Kris Jenner, Minka Kelly vs. Hailee Steinfeld

Page 13: Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Chloe Bennet

Page 14: News in Photos -- Brooke Shields works out in her backyard in the Hamptons

Page 16: Tallulah Willis and her mom Demi Moore both don pieces from her new clothing line Wyllis, pregnant Katy Perry showed off her baby bump at the beach in Santa Barbara, Tom Felton skateboarding in a Venice park

Page 17: Madelaine Petsch and her dog Olivia, Demi Rose

Page 18: Ashley Benson and G-Eazy hold hands while hiking, Jon Bon Jovi lip-synching, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson crafting with daughters Jasmine and Tiana

Page 19: Elsa Hosk on a weekend getaway, Brody Jenner and his dog, Chrissy Teigen and daughter Luna were twins

Page 20: Catching Rays -- whether for work or plays stars are spending the season outdoors -- Dorit Kemsley in a water-gun fight with her kids, Bella Hadid shot a campaign for Michael Kors in L.A., DJ Khaled on his custom Sea-Doo

Page 21: Christina Milian and boyfriend Matt Pokora in St. Tropez, Ireland Baldwin with her dog on the beach, Shanina Shaik on vacation in St. Tropez

Page 22: Carol Alt at the Filming Italy Sardegna Festival

Page 23: Katie Holmes picked up some CeraVe while running errands, Hannah Ann Sluss waited for a cab in L.A.

Page 24: Jenna Johnson and Val Chmerkovskiy’s love nest -- the pair are slowly but surely settling into their new abode

Page 26: Take It Easy -- your favorite stars share their secrets for staying cool calm and collected -- Elizabeth Hurley, Jennifer Aniston, Selena Gomez, Heidi Klum, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Page 28: Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s first days as parents to daughter Willa

Page 29: Though movie buffs were excited to hear that The Pelican Brief’s Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington would be reuniting 27 years later to star in the upcoming Netflix drama Leave the World Behind but the casting news didn’t sit well with Julia’s husband Danny Moder, though Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger ended their romance two decades ago Jim recently confessed that Renee was the great love of his life and before the interview he quietly reached out to her in hopes of rekindling their friendship and maybe more but Renee isn’t eager to jump into a relationship right now, it’s only been seven months since Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden welcomed their daughter Raddix via surrogate but the pair are already thinking about baby No. 2

Page 30: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are hunting for property in the California countryside to set up a home and a working farm, since Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel hit a rough patch last November he’s agreed to draft a midterm agreement to help Jess feel more secure in their marriage -- Justin’s pledged that any proven cheating will result in Jessica getting the lion’s share of their assets as well as primary custody of the kids, Love Bites -- Ciara and Russell Wilson welcomed their second child together, Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae Young engaged, Vanessa Morgan announced she’s expecting a son in January then three days later the baby’s father Michael Kopech filed for divorce

Page 32: Cover Story -- Robin Williams’ untold story -- Robin’s meteoric rise and heartbreaking fall six years after his tragic death

Page 36: Sandra Bullock’s wedding joy -- Sandra secretly wed longtime love Bryan Randall in a superromantic ceremony on her birthday

Page 38: Reality Bites -- these stars got their first moments in the spotlight appearing on unscripted TV shows -- Cardi B, Lady Gaga, Kesha

Page 39: Emma Stone, Aaron Paul, Jamie Chung, Laverne Cox, Josh Henderson

Page 40: Interview -- Ellie Goulding -- music therapy -- the British singer explores her darker side on her latest album

Page 42: Gisele Bundchen fit at 40 -- find out how Gisele got into the best shape of her life

Page 43: Forty Never Looked So Good -- see how these supersvelte stars who also turned the big 4-0 this year stay in shape -- Jordana Brewster, Olivia Munn, Zooey Deschanel, Kristen Bell

Page 46: Style Week -- Olivia Culpo’s collaboration with Prive Revaux

Page 50: Sassy school-year must-haves -- Storm Reid

Page 52: Dorm Decor -- Kiernan Shipka

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Damian McGinty

Page 58: Buzz -- Rebel Wilson trying to lose weight in 2020

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Jennifer Aniston reacting to her Emmy nomination for The Morning Show, Prince William on the worst gift he’s ever given Duchess Kate, Melissa Gorga on teen daughter Antonia, Mark-Paul Gosselaar on rewatching Saved By the Bell for his new podcast, Catherine Zeta-Jones on how she and Michael Douglas will celebrate their 20th anniversary this fall

Page 61: Trista Sutter on why The Bachelorette ends in more lasting relationships than The Bachelor, Andy Cohen on auditioning for a role on Sex and the City, Billy Eichner tweeting about Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore

Page 62: Horoscope -- Leo Charlize Theron turned 45 on August 7

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Zachary Quinto

2 notes · View notes

echodrops · 5 years

Text

Ten Totally Awesome, Very Serious, Incredibly Valid Reasons to Ship Shigaraki/Ochako

Pleaseee Note: This is a parody post. If you’re looking for real reasons to ship Shigako (M&Ms voice: they do exist!), they’re over here.

Spoilers for My Villain Academia, watch out.

Uh, also, before anyone goes stereotypically tumblr on me, no, I obviously do not condone shipping minors and adults. But I do fully support future fics, age changes, and AUs because I can actually conceptualize of fictional characters in circumstances different from the canon. First person to send me anon hate about a four-year age gap will be punted into the sun.

1) Uraraka already has a track record of being attracted to a Merch-Collecting Nerd Prince with Zero Chill and only One Pair of Red Sneakers to his name.

It’s only inevitable that one day she’ll come to her senses and upgrade to the VASTLY SUPERIOR Nerd King Special Edition HD Re-Release™ instead.

Thank you to Reddit for providing me multiple pictures comparing these vile shoes.

2) Shigaraki might be a crazed terrorist hell bent on total world destruction, but he’s not interested in kinky girls.

Freak in the streets, vanilla in the sheets.

A PERFECTLY NORMAL girl like Ocha–

You know what, on second thought, let’s just… move along…

3) He’s got blue hair, she likes to wear pink. He was a skater boi, she said see yah later boi.

According to The Complete Colorstrologist’s Guide to Metaphysical, Metaphoric, and Metastasizing Personal Wells of Well-Being (publication pending); the expert opinions of at least three licensed metaphysicotheologico-cosmolonigologists; whatcolorismyaura .com (which is flagged as a security risk by my browser, and which I was too scared to actually unflag, even for the sake of this joke); like half of a $1.50/hour consultation with the professionals of 1-800-PSY-CHIC (which I hope is not a real phone number); and five whole minutes of Googling, pink and blue are infinitely compatible colors! The intensity and compassion of those possessing the pink aura helps to temper the brutal intuition and blunt honesty of the blue aura! The reliability and follow-through of one pastel soul empowers the bubbly generosity of the other! This is just plain and simple scientifically proven fact. Does your ship align with the stars?! I didn’t think so.

FURTHERMORE, deciphering the Illuminati’s cryptographic RGB code reveals that the-only-color-of-pink-anime-girls-are-allowed-to-wear corresponds perfectly to Numerology Life Path Number 7, while baby blue corresponds to Life Path 2, which, like, basically totally means they’re soulmates.*

* Every sign is your soulmate if you go through enough of the Google results.

Please also consider: Cotton candy is delicious.

I stole this picture from a vape shop. Please don’t sue me, vape shop.

4) Shigaraki and Uraraka would obviously be the ultimate low maintenance power couple.

They say that the most harmonious pairs are people who live similar lifestyles, right? Get you a man who won’t judge your habit of window-shopping at convenience stores.

Think of all the ridiculous AU fanfics the world is tragically missing out on!

Where is the penniless millennial disaster roommate AU?! (Can’t afford real food? Mochi makes the dream work. Their roof springs a leak? F R E E shower. Coupon game too strong. God help the person who cuts them in line for samples at the grocer’s.) Where is the “We got fake married for the tax breaks” AU?! (”Wait, what do you mean divorces cost money?”) The “Don’t think I’ll take it easy on you in battle just because we keep meeting at the 99¢ ¥100 store” AU?! The--

5) Who doesn’t love a beauty and the beast story? A tale as old as time? Song as old as rhyme?

I, for one, have perfect faith in the ability of Shigaraki’s beauty to civilize even the most horrendous of monsters.

6) Look Uraraka–

–you might have to bail his ass out of jail for murder, but at least you know you’ll never catch him cheating!

6.5) Their ship name could be Stardust. 🌠S T A R🌠🌌D U S T🌌!!! Why are y’all still sleepin’?!! Arghhkfghjfgh!

7) She’s already met his whole family!

The introduction got off on an awkward foot, trueee, but look on the bright side: there definitely won’t be any complaints about their relationship from his side of the aisle!

8) Her quirk makes her nauseous? That’s okay. He’s A L W A Y S nauseous.

It doesn’t get any more romantic than taking turns holding each other’s hair, and research suggests people who have maximum innate chemistry mirror each other’s physical behaviors without even noticing! You could say they just can’t hold it in anymore! It’s really overflowing! In this essay, I will--

9) The couple that plays together, stays together.

This is where I WOULD put a picture of Shigaraki gaming... if Horikoshi had ever drawn one, but he WON’T, because he knows full well that Shigaraki is a fake gamer who only ever watches Let’s Plays.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single male in possession of a decent PC build, must be in a want of a hot gamer girlfriend. Semi-mythical in nature, it is rumored that once every nine years, when Mars aligns with the release of a new triple AAA title that has single player and no micro-transactions, a female gamer will reveal herself via dropping push-to-talk in the voice chat and will accept challengers of note. Should you best her in battle, the ancient legend claims, she may deem you a worthy companion. But lose, and your dignity fate will lie entirely in her hands.

Ochako is crazy competitive. Shigaraki’s ass is grass.

10) You ever see him act like this much of a doofus for anyone but Uraraka Ochako?

I rest my case.

#Shigaraki Tomura #uraraka ochako #shigaraki #ochako #shigaraki/ochako #shigako #OTP: Stardust #I'M GOING TO MAKE THAT A REAL THING #boku no hero academia #bnha shitpost #please dear god don't take me seriously here #but this is the meta I was originally asked to produce #so if you'll never be able to unsee this nonsense #dont blame me #I'm sick of angst #please someone write me a Shigaraki and Ochako get stuck on a deserted island together and have to lasso sea turtles to escape AU

127 notes · View notes

askyancy · 5 years

Text

That ask meme thingys

I dont’s wants to spam the main thing so we’s repostin it Here’s a link to the original https://askyancy.tumblr.com/post/188857885461/get-to-know-me-uncomfortably-well

1. What is you middle name? Daniel 2. How old are you? 30 3. When is your birthday? June 28 - 4:15pm 4. What is your zodiac sign? Cancer 5. What is your favorite color? Blood Red 6. What’s your lucky number? 4 7. Do you have any pets? Not anymore. But I’s used to have a cat fer like 15 seconds? Her name was Flancy 8. Where are you from? Ohio! 9. How tall are you? 5′10 10. What shoe size are you? 10 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 7 buts they’s keep em locked away from me 12. What was your last dream about? I hads a nightmare.. ah.. somet’in about escapin and upsettin de guards with someone handsome..or beautiful..or both I dont remembers 13. What talents do you have? I can sing I s’poses! 14. Are you psychic in any way? Psh no 15. Favorite song? I dont wanna be free Popular - Wicked 16. Favorite movie? Robin Hood Men In Tights 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Oh er I er- I dunno... someone... someone who gets me youse know? 18. Do you want children? I er... n-no.. I mean yeah I do’s but.. I aints a good father 19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’ts think the church woulds want someone like me in der. Nah somewhere on a beach or somet’ins 20. Are you religious? Uhm.. not reallys.. God aint done a lot fer someone like me ya know? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? A few times yeah. Lot o long stories there aheh.. maybe anoder time! 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah course not..... not at aaaaaallls.... not once! Totally not in prison cos I broke any o dem law things... 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I er.. not reallys? 24. Baths or showers? Shower! I could shower fer hours! aint payin no water bill so why nots! 25. What color socks are you wearing? White ones.. all we gets in here 26. Have you ever been famous? Ey er actually supposedlys I was on the tumblr fandom thingy once! That was nice! 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Me- ah ..nah.. I wouldnt wants all that. Nah.. nice quiet life in prison is fer me! 28. What type of music do you like? Musicals mostly! I er posted lil mini playlist recently youse might be able to find it! 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Eh.. aheh... I er... yeah... ahaheh... I’ll leave that up to youses for youses imaginations~ 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 16 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Lil spoons! 32. How big is your house? I means it’s pretty big! Prison gotta house a lotta roomies youse know? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Dey serves us dry cereals or oatmeal 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Shotgun, Franchi SPAS-12 12 gauge. 6 shots in total. 3 fatal shots. 1 miss 35. Have you ever tried archery? Nah I aint goods at no stringy thingys theys get all tangled 36. Favorite clean word? Bourgeoisie 37. Favorite swear word? The U bomb 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 6 days 39. Do you have any scars? Ah, couple on my left hand from a knife, one on my right leg from a bullet and I gots a …few more on my back but ah.. I donts like to talks about those ones. Youse understand. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I knews if I had a secret Admoirer it wouldnts be a secret no mores! 41. Are you a good liar? ah no.. I got a lotta tells 42. Are you a good judge of character? terrible! But ah! I always trys to make amends youse know? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Ah a few, can do my dayds, New Joysey, Bahstan and New Yoyrk 44. Do you have a strong accent? Peoples always be tellin me I do 45. What is your favorite accent? I likes dem scottish types... ah and dat ole southern drawls good a good tingle to its! 46. What is your personality type? .... I er... I dunnos... Nice??? but like... tough guys too? Youse make that call 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My shoeses! Dese is Itallian! 48. Can you curl your tongue? yeth 49. Are you an innie or an outie? I’m an innie! Prison life is where I lives int no outtie life fer me! 50. Left or right handed? I’s actually ambidestrous! 51. Are you scared of spiders? n...no...... why is der one near by? Youse gotta get it! 52. Favorite food? Gumbo. period. 53. Favorite foreign food? Probably one o dose indian curries! 54. Are you a clean or messy person? I likes to keep a clean cell 55. Most used phrased? Youses know? 56. Most used word? Youses 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 5-10 minutes... unless its a show day then I takes like 3 hours. Gotta look poifect 58. Do you have much of an ego? Peoples be tellin’ me lately that I’m an ego nows but I dont gets it. I aint tryna be above anyones else ya know? I’s just out here tryna be me 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I licks them ;P 60. Do you talk to yourself? Me nah... Why’s would I talk to myselfs? Not like I dont gots a whole gang to talks to. Not like I’m locked aways from them right now whiles in Solitary... Not likes I fill the silence in ‘ere with false conversations .... 61. Do you sing to yourself? Always! thoughs there aint much privacy in ‘ere so’s a lot o people get to hear it too 62. Are you a good singer? Peoples tells me so! But I’s still got a lot to works on 63. Biggest Fear? .......... Abandonment 64. Are you a gossip? What? Nah... I woulds never betray someone like that. Only cruel cold hearts sons o bitches do’s that. Oh! Dat reminds me youse should hear what I heard about Shithole Hank the other day. So gets this --- 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Chicago! Best thing! 66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair! Slides better through the fingers! 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Wells I coulds but youse might call it cheatin but here goes https://youtu.be/MSvJ9SN8THE?t=34s 68. Favorite school subject? Theatre o course! 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I er I’m an introvert actually 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Sadlys no... Always wanted to go see one o dem coral reefs wid de fishes! 71. What makes you nervous? ....the...the Ward’n 72. Are you scared of the dark? All dese nooks n crannies deys dayrk down there I gets used to it But afraid o de Dayrk..... de Dayrk scares me... 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if its a common t’ing and theys not notice it on there own! 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but dont go tellin nobodys! 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Me! No! Course not! Startin’ rumors is the lowest o de low... spreadin em dough? I heards this one that Tiny once ate a guards arm.. like..de whole t’ing. I’d honestly say dat wasn’t true but... I mean.. it’s Tiny... Dey’s strong and terrifyin if youse get on their bad side! 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Me nah... I ain’ts authoritive like 77. Have you ever drank underage? No. and I don’ts endorse it eithers 78. Have you ever done drugs? No. We’s very against that at Happy Trails. We’s is about rehabilitation. 79. Who was your first real crush? Ah nice guy in my high school called Illinois buts then..everyone had a crush on him. I wonder how his adventurin craze is doin him 80. How many piercings do you have? Ah just my ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ rr....rrrrrlbllr... RRBLRLBLRRGRLR...... RRRRRRRRRRR there we gos 82. How fast can you type? I dunno’s how fast do I’s respond to youses akses 83. How fast can you run? Only ever got caught once! and dey cheated with bullets 84. What color is your hair? Black and dark as night babye~ 85. What color is your eyes? Brown like the muddy pools of-.... er.... chocolate? 86. What are you allergic to? Rabbits and kidney beans...and hard labor 87. Do you keep a journal? Yeah but dats fer my eyes only capiche!? 88. What do your parents do? Nothin anymore..... Me Dayd always thoughts he was so good. always mocking me n stuff.. Thought he was all big bein a dental surgeon! And mom! Oh mom was just as bayd. Thinkin she was all better than me! Providin me with cuddles n loves and hugs n stuff tellin me to chase my dreams WELL WHOS DREAMIN NOW MA! Youse aint nursin nobody no mores! 89. Do you like your age? I dont like dat its gettin older 90. What makes you angry? Not a lotta t’ings but if youse be disrespectin mah fam’ly youse is gonna get it! 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I likes it. had it a while now and it suits me youse know? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? ah... Not reallys I means.. thats a joint decision youse know? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? ah... thats up to the kid to decide when they’s ready 94. What are you strengths? I’s a good team member me thinks? 95. What are your weaknesses? I er... I gots a lot o’ flaws... 96. How did you get your name? ah wells it started with the nickname fancy pants and den dey took the first letter of my old name, a dead name i donts use it no mores, and it became Yancy Pants and den got shortened ta just Yancy 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Mine? psh.. nah! youse kiddin? For all I knows my ancestor was a pirate or somet’in 98. Do you have any scars? I gots -wait... I answered dis one already! 99. Color of your bedspread? Dark blue with some nice white sheets! 100. Color of your room? Grey... like every other wall in dis place

#yancy posts #ask meme #i wanted to give you all the full thing #enjoy some canon and head canon info!#thank you everyone who sent in asks!

22 notes · View notes

mikey-girl12-archive · 5 years

Text

Disappear

Word count: 1,708

Warnings: angst, cheating, mentions of bad past, mentions of manipulation.

A/N: i wrote this in 2 hours instead of sleeping. The only editing it's been through is grammar check on google docs. sorry if it sucks. this is for @musicphanpie-b (i think) who said that more logince was needed. also tagging @sardonic-soprano and @friendlyinternetmeerkat

------------------

Roman was sitting in his room staring at the wall, looking at the pictures of all of his friends. They were all smiling and roman used to think that there would never be a time looking at those pictures made him sad. Now all he sees is the lies that each one held. He couldn't help but feel like a fool as he looked at his now ex’s face in the photo. Anger filled him in a spur of the moment and he stood dashing to the wall he ripped down every picture that had his face on it. The red he was seeing faded as he looked down at the now crumpled and ripped memories. A tear began streaming down his face once again and he leaned against the wall. Sliding down slowly he looked at the roof, covering his mouth to hold in the sobs. Stupid Logan, Stupid Heart --------

Roman held his books to his chest as he entered his new school, this was his chance at a fresh start after everything he had been through at his old school. He smiled at everyone who looked at him as he walked down the hall and to the office to get his schedule. “Hi! Im Roman Princeton! I moved here from New York and I was told to come in here for my schedule?” roman asked the older woman behind the desk. With a sigh, she looked up from the book she was reading and turned to her computer. The silence had roman bouncing lightly on his feet. She tapped a few buttons before pushing away from the wooden desk and heading to the printer. “Here, im calling for a fellow senior to show you around the school. Sit in that chair, don't talk or fidget and wait for him to get here.” her voice was harsh and Roman wondered briefly how she got a job in a school. Turning he walked quickly to the seat and sat down to look over his schedule. A few agonizing minutes later the door opened to a teen in a bright blue polo with a gray cardigan over his shoulders. Roman smiled as he stood fixing his red jacket. “Hi! Im Patton, you must be Roman! Come with me” after a light handshake Roman was following the cheerful lad down the hallway. He pointed out every class on Romans schedule, explained the lunch routine, and showed him where the gym, library, and lunchroom was. “And if you ever get lonely just sit with me and my friends! We don't bite. Well, Virgil might just don't touch him until he's used to you!” Patton explained as he came to a stop in front of a group of lockers. Roman laughed assuming the other boy was joking until he saw the serious look on his face. “This is your locker-” whatever else Patton was going to say was cut off by the bell and the student filling the hallway. “-see you at lunch roman.” ----------- It had been nearly three months since the beginning of school and roman had officially become one of the ‘popular’ kids. Meaning he was seen with the famous trio and quickly became like a god in his school. Patton, Virgil, and Logan had accepted him with open arms. And roman learned that they ruled the school, but as far as he had seen they didn't abuse that power. And slowly he felt a bud growing in his heart, one that he helped grow instead of squishing. Roman had a crush and unlike before he allowed himself to fall. ------------- It had been 4 months since he had come to this school and he couldn't have been happier. He admitted his feelings to logan and the boy had returned them! Roman had friends and a boyfriend and was so well loved that nobody dared to start rumors about him. In his eyes, he had it all, until the day that a boy he had never seen before pulled him into the bathroom and locked the door. “Look I know you probably have no idea who I am but im trying to help you.” the boy spoke his face hidden in his hoodie. “Help me? What could I possibly need help with?” roman had asked confused. The boy shook his head as he reached into his backpack and pulled out an envelope. “Take my advice. The trio, they are not who you think they are. They are bad people and you don't need that in your life. Take it from a survivor.” with that he unlocked the door, shoving the envelope in Romans hand and disappeared into the lunchtime traffic. Roman looked at the envelope before shoving it into his bag. Roman had forgotten all about the awkward encounter until he reached home. Walking into his room he threw his bag on the bed forgetting that he didn't close it. His books spilled across the bed and onto the floor with a thud. Sighing he walked over to pick them up when he saw the envelope sticking out of the opening of his bag. Curiosity won as he reacher for it pulling it out and opening it. Inside the white package was pictures, pictures of logan with another boy. They looked younger maybe around 16, and it occurred to roman that these were old. Confused as to why he looked at the next picture. Unlike the first one where they were cuddled up in this one logan looked distant. The next three were screenshots of text messages. Each one shows logan becoming more and more distant from the boy. The last one showing only a single message from Logan. ‘ there never was a we. I prefer to look for love and we don't have that. We never did’ Roman laid the picture on his bed as he looked at the wall where his pictures hung. In every one he and his friends were cuddled up, laughing and smiling. Shaking his head he picked them up and shoved them back in the envelope. Opening his closet he slipped them in a box sitting on the top shelf. “Logan may not have loved you, but he loves me.” ------------- “Can you believe it! I got into acting school! I never thought this day would come!” roman cheered as he and Virgil walked down the hall. All around them were friendly faces except for the boy from that day in the bathroom. He looked at roman with pity, and he was ignored by the duo. “Your going to acting school, I got accepted to my dream school, Patton is in a cool summer program. The only person left is Logan. And he applied to all ivy league schools. You know Harvard, Yale, Stanford.” verge replied with a slight tilt to his lips. “Everything is going our way, Virgil! Nothing can stop us now!” --------- School had ended and with that summer had begun. Roman began to notice that logan was drifting away from him. All he could think about was the pictures still sitting in his closet. That couldn't happen to him, could it? With a sigh, he called Logan. His heart dropped as he heard a giggle come through the phone when he answered. There was a hushing whisper in the background causing the giggles to stop. “Sorry Ro that was my new roommate we're bonding before we move into the Harvard dorms,” Logan explained. Roman noticed that he was slightly breathless, and dread filled him. “Are you still coming to spend the weekend with me?” he asked hiding the pain in his voice. There was silence for a moment before logan hummed. “Yeah baby ill be there.” and then the line went dead. “Lo?” roman whispered into the dark but the only response was silence. ---------- Roman had been pacing his room floor all day, roman had said he'd be there hours ago and there was still no sign of him. Again Romans thoughts went back to the pictures in his closet. Hearing his door open he snapped his head to look in at his bedroom door. When it opened he moved to hug Logan stopping short. His heart broke at the sight in front of him. Logan was wearing his signature outfit. But the buttons on the shirt were undone and the tie was loose. Upon looking closer he noticed that logans neck was cover in red bruises. Tears filled Roman's eyes as he stepped away. “Logan please tell me this isn't what I think it is,” he begged. His life had just gotten good and now he was watching the facade crumble. The other boy didn't answer causing roman to look at the ground. “Was any of this real to you?” the words were quite and again they were met with silence. “Was I ever actually a choice to you? Or did you enjoy stringing me along until you got what you actually wanted?” roman looked at Logan. There wasn't a trace of regret on his face. “I should have listened to that boy, I should have known you were too good to be true!” he ripped off the bracelet logan had given him for their 5 month anniversary. He threw it at the other watching as Logan caught it with ease. He slipped it into his pocket as he turns and walked out, not a word spoken at all. Roman rushed to grab his phone dialing pattons number. The call didn't go through the voice telling him that he couldn't call a number the blocked him. Frowning he tried virgils number before it hit him. The boy had said that the trio wasn't who they seemed to be. Meaning that when he lost logan he lost them all. Blinking away the tears roman sat on his bed and stared at the wall holding their pictures. Maybe he had been blind to it at first, but now all the pieces fit. Patton had to intro him to logan. Virgil was the one who pushed him to confess his crush. They had it planned the whole time. Roman stared at the wall and for the first time in nearly a year, he wished he could just disappear.

#mikey-girl12s writing.#thomas sanders #thomas sanders fics #thomas sanders angst #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #roman sanders #roman x logan

14 notes · View notes

nimirel · 5 years

Text

How much of a virgin the CP boys are

yep thats it liiterally nobody asked for this but i cant begin to explain how necessary this is in my mind

this is way too long i’m so sorry

spoilers ahead so read at your own risk

Okay we’re gonna go from least to most so of course first off we have

Karma: This dude is a fuckboy if i have ever seen one, what else is there to say. He is a 19 year old entitled, atractive, confident and flirty prince who likes to avoid his responsabilities and fool around. This boy has been getting it since puberty landed a good blow on him. Like,, him playing around with an unsuspecting witch and then breaking her heart is what got him cursed in the first place so.... yeah,,,, he’s not a virgin,,, not even close

Rumpel: Okay let’s state the facts: he was living with his fiancee until she cheated on him. Like... are you guys trying to tell me that in the year or so (?) they lived together they didn’t stay up playing doctor into wee hours of the night,,,, yeah,, unlikely. Plus the ladies loooved his annoying ass flirting so it is pretty safe to assume that ,before Bria (Brie cheese), he had gotten together with some lucky lady. (imagine the scandal, the drama when rumors started in medical school that chevalier had charmed one of the nurse’s assistant... how outrageous)

Fritz: i know i know “Nimi what the fuck are you thinking!!!! he should be lower on the list” but hear me out on this it’s going to make sense at the end i promise. I’m still conflicted on whether the 3rd place belongs to Fritz or Waltz but our lost boy’s situation is kind of complicated so let’s play it safe and go for the big bad wolf sweet little puppy. At first we problably thought the same thing: my precious angel,,,,he’s pure,,,,he’s been love with Lucette since he was born,,,,the most loyal knight BUT we cannot forget about Varg >:3c. As I went down this hellhole I started thinking,,, he’s 21 and has been Lucette’s personal knight for 5 years (4...6 i can’t remember right now so let’s settle for 5) making him 16 when he started serving her while Lucette was 13, and who crushes on a 13 year old??? no-fucking-body. Therefore, we can assume that, while Fritz cared for the princess it took at least 2 or 3 years for him to start actually falling for Lucette, in his route he even says that it was a gradual process, so we have a 17/18 year old handsome and single knight with hormones (and VaRG). And yeah... knight training is very demanding and our boy Fritz is specially dedicated but y’know,,,, the camaraderie is strong and he and his knight buddies probably went out on their nights off to the tavern... we all know how hot men in uniforms are so... it is pretty possible that he had some sort of relatioship at some point. While we cannot confirm nor deny that he indeed popped his cherry, he definetly has some sort of experience with phisical affection. To further prove my point we can go back to the moment when Lucette kisses Fritz for the first time, the princess is the only bashful and embarrassed one because of the kiss, Fritz on the other hand just wonders if it is a dream and LAUGHS at Lucette’s reaction. So... yea.. he’s done something... iwe’re just not sure how much

Waltz: *sigh* SO, at first, I thought, “this nerd is a huge virgin, he’s been stuck in a tweve year old’s body for most all his life, there is NO WAY he has gotten any action” however... i started soing numbers and now we are facing TWO possible scenarios:

One - Somewhat experienced. This is only possible if we follow a timeline where Waltz is cursed right before the Queen’s death. So, in the game Waltz is 22, making him 18 when the Queen was betrayed (by him) and defeated.(Which brings the question, is Waltz body 18 during the game? it doesn’t make a lot of sense since everybody says that he looks 12 and has not changed so either Waltz looked 12 when he was 18, or the curse reverted his age and people say she hasn´t changed since the curse. We are going to follow through this last hypothesis). Now, similarly to Fritz, while they are still teenagers the age difference is still too strong for Waltz to be crushing on an 11 year old when he is 15. So one could argue that (just the same as Fritz), there is a gap of 2 or 3 years when he cares for Lucette, but still is not in love with her, where he could have had some sort of relationship (I like to think that when he truly fell for her was when he met her again at the Marchen). However, whatever Waltz may have had could have not gone too far or been too serious given that he was under Hildyr’s tutelage and,,,, she doesn’t seem the kind of mentor that gives a lot of freedom and space to her pupils (plus Waltz already spent most of his free time playing with Lucette). Then, he could have some experience with physical affection, but nothing too far. Explaining as well how he is also pretty comfortable when Lucette kisses him, but is rather tense when she asks to stay the night with him.

Two - NOTHING. In this case, Waltz was cursed in the age he appears to be, so 12 or so. (This brings up now a different question beacuse it assumes that Waltz betrayed the Queen 5 or 6 years before she was defeated,,,,, what has my boy been doing all that time, was he with parfait???) Anyways, if he was cursed when he was 12 and has looked like that ever since,,,,,,,, yeah,,,,,,not much luck with this one.

Rod: SWEET PRECIOUS PURE ANGEL. NOT ONLY HAS HE NEVER TOUCHED A SOUL HE IS TERRIBLY SHY WITH ANY FORM OF AFFECTION. HE IS CLOSE TO LUCETTE -> BLUSHES, HE HOLDS HER HAND -> BLUSHES, HE KISSES LUCETTE -> BLUSHES HOTTER THAN THE SUN. ROD AND LUCETTE REMAIN VIRGIN KING AND QUEEN AND YOU KNOW WHAT I RESPECT THEM MY SWEET BABIES.

#im so sorry #cinderella phenomenon #cp #cp evermore #dicesuki #i love them all with all my heart #this game is too good #trust me on this im a certified virgin

3 notes · View notes

kattybatty101 · 3 years

Text

The Sims 2 drama

So I made a new “neighborhood” in the sims 2, Yes i know that is so last whatever but look I prefer to play the sims 2 and the sims 3 over the sims 4. The attention to detail in both of those games are awesome and the expansion packs are way better. Anyways...... So...... the “neighborhood” is called ‘Secret Ville’ because all the families have secrets..........

So you have the Bilmore family and they have been married for a while with two twins and Mr. Bilmore is a CEO while his wife is a housewife. But little does she know how he has 3 mistress and is of them pregnant? Only time will tell but can he not get caught and keep up appearances?

Next we have the Ports family, Mrs. Ports husband died mysteriously and no one is for sure if Mrs. Ports is a black widow or was her husbands death just and accident or natural causes. Will she date again and will the rumors stop for her?

Now lets take a looks at the very dramatic Cliff family. Well Mr. Cliff had been married to is beloved wife for ten years and they had two daughters together. However, Mrs. Cliff was pregnant with baby number three and she couldn’t have been more excited about it. But Mr. Cliff left his wife for another woman and he moved out. Leaving his pregnant wife to take care of the two daughters and the one on the way. Mr. Cliff married the woman he left his wife for and now she is having a baby by him. (Shocking I know). Now divorced from her cheating husband Mrs. Cliff meet someone and his name is Mr. Jones. However they both got married and Mrs. Cliff is not Mrs. Jones. Now being Mrs. Jones, she had a baby for him because she wanted a big family. Mr. Jones has a teenage son. The secret between this family is that Mr. Jones is second guessing himself about marrying her now. He is not sure if she is the one he wants to be with. His son has left off for college and it has always been Mr. Jones and his son for a long time. So will the new Jones family's last or will divorce be coming their way?

Let’s look at the smith family, after being a teen mom she movies to this new town get a fresh start and be a rock start. Will Mrs. Smith be able to get her loner daughter into a private school or will it be a struggle as she wants to do her career as well? Also is she one of Mr. Bilmore’s mistresses and is having his baby?

Let’s call her Sara... Sara had dreams of owner her own business but it is not going well for her at all. Will she manage and also who is this new boyfriend in her life? Is it Mr. Bilmore or someone else? Is she having a baby..... We know Sara has her pet cat for company but does she want more or is she fine the way she is?

Well until next update.....

#the sims 2 #the sims #drama #sims drama #scroll on #keep scrolling #gamer #game play #storyline

0 notes

thebiggest3vil · 6 years

Text

STORY TIME! #2: I Got Cheated On And Embarassed In Front Of My Whole School😂😢😂 (*Funny!/ Fucked Up!)

So for this story time I'm gonna tell you about how I got cheated on . It's funny but fucked up at the same time so if you like reading then this is the post for you! So back, relax and read how I got PLAYED 😂.

So the first day of HS starts up and ya know things are different. Ya boy is a Sophmore and after a very weird freshman year of HS I started to find my way. I had more friends , I hit a growth spurt after being 4"11 and under my whole childhood life, I had a summer job so when I came back I was drippin in that Armani Exchange (Remember that store!? Damn) So when I came back my dress game went from like a 3 to a 12 and I don't care if that don't make sense it's my story lmao.

(Ok So where was I....OH Ok sophomore year)

So the day goes by and it's time for Gym. Now everyone knows that the first day of gym ain't really gym it's just niggas sitting on the bleachers and for 30 minutes and MAYBE they bring the basketballs out for the last 15. So I goto the bleachers and I see my mans at the top and I'm like "Yeoooo !!" And he went "Ayo boul!!" And that's how we signalled each other at the time lmao. So we sitting waiting for class to start and a bunch of kids walk in (I'm not paying them no mind) and as they got closer to the top all I hear is my name following "YOOO CUZ IT'S BEEN A GRIP!" I look over and it's my bro from my track team . At this point I'm like hype I got my homie in by gym class followed by my other homie...nigga gym was so tough. So as I dap him up these 2 girls walk behind him. One was kinda cute, Brown skin ass was glorious. The other was a lightskin girl, kinda tall was BAD (at the time) omg and I had my best shirt on nd shit I was fly but I'm not really worried cause all my niggas are in gym with me and when has that....ever happened when ALL your niggas had the same class besides lunch. So we sitting and my bro from track called me over and we started catching up. Out of nowhere the lightskin girl grabs my shoulder and asked what my name was (mind you was staring deep into my eyes like nigga my soul, I was beside myself) I told her my name and I went throughout my day.

So like a cool 2 weeks passed and ppl telling me "yoooo Brittney likes you" (Ima call her Brittney cause it's my story lol) mind you at this point it's been established by the brotherhood rank system aka period 8 lunch who were the baddest in school and everyone was tryna talk to them. They were arguably the 5 baddest in the school and niggas were on their heads. Now my one friend bagged one if them on the spot and the other one was already cuffed, but for them to tell me the most sought out one wanted me!? NI-GGA! I was feeling my self I started wearing shit I didn't usually wear to school (side note: I wore this Armani T shirt with the Black true religion jeans and some polo boots with this Hugo Boss jacket I was fly) Anyway weeks go by and I'm in music class talking to to homies and I tell them like yo....im bout to talk to Brittney....the problem was....

Brittney was the ex of my bro from track! So I'm like damn you my homie I'm not gonna do that to you etc I'm like I'm going to chalk It up, he goes "nah bro you good go head we friends but we broke up years ago" (THIS LOW-KEY WAS A WARNING But my dumb ass wanted a girlfriend so I'm like bet where she at?) Ok ok remember how HUGE MySpace use to be? Remember this.: So fast forward I ask for her number and she didn't have one cause idk but she had a house phone plus she added me on MySpace. So on MySpace that's were I started spitting THAT GAME and long story short I changed my relationship status from single to taken and THAT. SHIDD. FELT. GUUD! That shit felt like every nigga in that school had a shot and I came through like M'Baku like "Essssss challuuunge deeeeey" . You couldn't tell me shit , plus we had the same spanish class so we were out her being a couple nd shit and for the moment it was all going great.....until....

On one Friday it was a big ass party and instead of going I went to my Cousins house cause tbh fuck them parties they last like 1 hour always. So the weekend ended and Monday rolls by mind you I was getting calls from random ass numbers and I dont answer those like that so when Monday came around we had a fire drill and as SOON as everyone was outside and saw me they ran to me. I had atleast 8 people Coming up to to me saying "Dog bro you my mans get your girl she was at the party all up on some other nigga". me being naive as fuck is like " brittney? My baby? oh nooooo I don't believe yall shut up" but in the back of my mind I'm like ....wait....coikd she? Naah...so I go ask her and she immediately denies so I'm like ok cool. This was around the same time "rumors" started spread around the school that she was out here for the whole team was thottin and when I brought that up she goes "ww...well...that's not true who are you gonna believe your so called friends or someone who loves you?" AGAIN Me being a dickhead I'm like " Yeaaah baby Bonnie and Clyde, Hov and Bey, Angelina and Brad , we all we got! "(I'm laughing writing this cause I was like this..) Now along the way it was signs that were happening that I thought were weird. She would Always have "family" over or her "cousins" just came over out the blue and she had to get off the phone... 😂😂😂( I know man I know laugh! GO AHEAD! Its been almost 10 years fuck yall for laughing 😂🤣) Nd I'm like for an only child you sure have alot of family coming through. So the noise of it all started to get to me and I was over here questioning the relationship. I had a homie tell me to me face "Bro I do not want to see you get hurt and if you keep talking to her we NOT cool" so that night I'm like it's too many signs and tbh I don't wanna be with you anymore (even thoe I did....i did like fuck and I was acting like a bitch) so we broke it off and that's it.........WRONG!

Remember when I told y'all I was in love like a dickhead....well not even 3 days later we got back together cause she "missed me like crazy" and I'm like "baby I miss you too ajdgssnsjdndkd!😂" so we back together and like for them 5 days we were cool....the 6th day....nigga so I stayed after school with her and she was talking to me about Spanish tutoring and how this other nigga in my class was taking tutoring and that we should go....problem was the Spanish teacher got sick and cancelled so we stayed until the 4:00 bus...for her since she lived close it was the 2:45 shuttle so we kissed and she left. Fast forward to the after school bus my step sister stayed after with me and as we were riding back home she scream my name and says "Hey do you still go out with Brittney!?" Me confidently I'm like yeah whassup? She goes "Well hold on they talking bout she goes out with the one boul aka the NIGGA THAT WAS GETTING THE TUTORING IN SPANISH! I felt like a dickheaaaad on the bus. So many emotions, I felt like my lil bitch ass heart was ripped out, so I went home and called her she said message her in MySpace for right now. Thus is where I bring MySpace back.....how about I look on her shit and She put Boul in her TOP 5 behind me!!!!!!!! I was livid so.....

I messaged her like " Yo, are you and Bro talking what's going on...?" She hits me with a........

"Well I thought we were just friends talking " I was so angry I was like (From what I remember I wish I knew my account info but to sum it up I said ) "BITCH how dare you do that to me I loved you and you disrespected me you punk was blah blah blah " I wrote shawty a whole book angry and after I shut my laptop off.......and cried.

Smh lmao so my step sister growing up never like to see my super upset so idk HOW but she found her house number and I could hear downstairs her arguing with her nd etc. I didn't care I was upset I went on my MySpace and changes ALL my profile songs to breakup shit. Damn near a Chris Brown playlist I was HURT! I was writing cryptic ass messages talking about ima be lonley forever and yeah it was BAD! but eventuall I got over it....and the following Monday she ran straight over to me at was like "oh I'm sorry I really am and I'll get rid of all my contact and etc etc. We gotta spread some rulesnif we wanna make this work" I wasn't tryna hear dat shit. So in the end I said fuck it and we wentniur separate ways. I don't have any hate towards shawty but it was fucked up how I happened. Looking back, everytime I tell this story it gets funnier cause I was sprung. But yeah that's how I got Cheated on.....Never again thoe😂😂😂

1 note · View note

kingofthewilderwest · 7 years

Text

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. I was tagged by @dyannehs

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Myself. Because I lost my cell phone. Outside of that, my mom! 3. Text message: One of my awesomeful friends of awesomeness who I’ve nicknamed Hux (she’s the Hux to my Kylo!) 4. Song you listen to: A nerdy composition project I’m working on. *grins* It’s a secret ’cause I’m gonna share online when I’m done! 5. Time you cried: Actual-actual cry? Don’t remember. Tears in the eyes? Maybe like two days ago? Yay for being broke.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes, I have dated the same person twice, and both experiences were quite wonderful indeed! And I’d probably date her a third time if life came around to it - both times we broke up came from us being too timid to do basic communication about relationship goals. We’re still really good friends rn - honestly either as friends or as dates, I’m happy either way! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. Been cheated on: Not in the sex way, but my first relationship ended because my current gf was hitting blatantly on someone in front of my face, and while we were talking about maybe doing a poly thing, this hitting-on-someone-else was in the venue of putting aside and ignoring me, and that wasn’t okay. 9. Lost someone special: Yes. 10. Been depressed: Oh shit I forgot my depression meds again... *runs to take them* Umm. Yes. The answer’s yes. High-functioning depression, here I am, prime example. Yayyyy [sarcasm] 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink alcohol so nope.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Silver 13. Chocolate brown 14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Aye! 16. Fallen out of love: Not really? I mean I don’t know how to explain it. 17. Laughed until you cried: Thanks to Lance and Kaltenecker, yes. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I guess my coworkers thought I was quitting instead of just reducing my hours, so I had to fix that rumor chain straight. 20. Found out who your friends are: I think that’s always an ongoing thing in life. This year, I’d say that I’ve had reaffirmations that the people I care about care about me, so that’s really awesome. It’s wonderful to know that people are thinking of me. And I’m thinking of you, friends! 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yep!

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: About 99% of them. It’s very rare for me to add an internet friend to my FB contacts. 23. Do you have any pets: No. My apartment only allows cats and dogs, and I want guinea pigs again. ;_; 24. Do you want to change your name: I’m proud of my name and have used it as a source of inspiration (it means “pure”). That said, in the last few years, I feel increasingly distanced from my name and honestly think of myself far more as being named “Haddock.” Haddock is my name, my birth name is second. Still a good name, but I’m a Haddock. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: On the day itself: relaxed, bought myself froyo, Skyped family, chilled, was awesome. The general-ish week of my birthday: had a dinner with family, stayed up and binged all of VLD S4 the night it came out, hung out with a friend and also binged VLD. Basically, a lot of VLD. 26. What time do you wake up: The number fluctuates quite wildly day-per-day because “sleep schedule” is a myth. Today, I got up at 11 AM. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Answering asks on tumblr and PMing/texting a few good friends. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Having enough money to live comfortably and not stress every time rent week comes around. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: A few days ago, Friday. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Oh where do I fucking start... Well. The biggest thing is I’d do is go back in time and prevent a terrifyingly bad argument/falling out with my ex/ex best friend that happened in 2011-2012, not because I want to still be friends with this person (I don’t anymore), but because the experience was very... traumatic... to both of us and I’d love us not to live with those mental scars. I’m still getting over those scars and it sucks. 31. What are you listening to right now: The composition I’m working on. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah. Don’t know anyone well named Tom, though. One of my coworkers is a Tommy if that counts? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: There’s one wonderful friend of mine who’s going through a really challenging time. I want to help them so badly, but they’ve been closed off and hermitting themselves to the point I think it’s harmful for them, it’s hard to contact them to help them, and they live too far away for me to check on them in person easily. I want to do anything to see them in person to help, or to talk to them, or anything... sitting in silence makes me very worried because this wonderful human soul deserves all the love and support they can get for what they’re going through. 34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Facebook, Netflix, Google. 35. Mole/s: I have two bumps on my forehead, one to either side. I jokingly call them horns, but they’re not evenly lined up, and the one on my left is much larger than the one on my right. 36. Mark/s: Bellybutton scar from a second degree burning incident, lots of scars on my hands right now from falling on concrete two months back, lots of scars on my wrists from a whole bunch of whatnot (I even have one from my sophomore year of high school when a school binder scraped me?), oh. And I have basically leopard-speckled shoulders from countless acne/pimple scars. For unnatural marks... three tats! Plans to get at least two more. 37. Childhood dream: To be a published, bestselling author or a college prof. 38. Hair color: Currently dark brown with bleached bangs and a strip on the right side. Natural hair color is what I call “dusty brown” and some people would call dirty blonde; it’s in that random in-between blonde and brown where the top is blonde-ish and the bottom is rather brown. 39. Long or short hair: I have the conundrum of enjoying my hair either really long or really short. I’m in the process of regrowing it to the long stage. It’s sort of at the bottom-of-the-shoulder-blades/boob length now. Goal is to go back to waist length. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Does Takashi Shirogane count? 41. What do you like about yourself: Honestly, quite a lot? XD I’m very thankful to be a nerd who is apt to learn anything from sciences to arts and music and sports. I’m thankful to be a musician, a composer, a creative writer, an animation junkie, an analytical and logical mind, a complete and utter NERD beyond belief who lives in nerd culture. I love my appearance, I love my facial hair, I love my eyebrows and face shape, I love my body shape, I love that I’m left-handed, I love that I’m not conventionally pretty. I love being a Christian. I love being aroace. I mean when I’m not in a depressive, self-deprecating mode, I really am proud and thankful to be who I am all across the board; there’s very little that I dislike about myself. Mostly what I dislike is my current life situation of not being anywhere career-wise. Everything else, pretty happy. :) 42. Piercings: Two on each earlobe and one halfway up the cartilage. Dammit and I wanted like a dozen piercings by this type in my life. Get me a more stable paycheck and we’re fixing this! 43. Blood type: O+. Most common blood type, woot? 44. Nicknames?: I’ve had a terrifying slew of nicknames over the years. Currently, the most common ones are Haddock, King, (Kylo) Ren, Spock, and Toast. 45. Relationship status: Single in my chill natural habitat. 46. Zodiac: I am so bitter about my Zodiac sign I refuse to say it even though it’s not too hard to figure out what it is given other answers to this meme. 47. Pronouns: He/his/him, though honestly I really don’t care too much what people toss at me. 48. Favorite TV Show: Voltron: Legendary Defender. 50. Right or left hand: LEFT-HANDED WOOOOOOOO LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFTY PRIDE YOOOO! 51. Surgery: When I was nine I had four baby teeth and then the four adult teeth under them removed. Basically, a wisdom tooth like surgery but younger and with different teeth. 52. Hair dyed in different color: FUCK YEAH! I was getting really bored of my natural hair color but was keeping it natural for the purpose of looking professional (job searches). I’d been wanting to reinstate some purple and black again, but with my current job only allowing “natural” hair colors, I decided I couldn’t go that route. Instead I bleached the front and dyed the rest dark brown in a sort of inspiration from Takashi Shirogane. 53. Sport: I played soccer all growing up, so much fun. Love jogging. Sports are great, miss having the opportunity to do team stuff. Also really enjoy watching professional gymnastics, soccer, American football, and especially tennis. 55. Vacation: I want to see so many locations oh my fuck. My “to go to” list includes Bhutan, Nepal, China/Tibet, Mongolia, Cambodia (again... come on I miss it!), Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Japan, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom (England & Scotland), Norway, Canada, Peru, Mexico, South Korea, India, Myanmar, Austria, Germany, Iceland... um. Yeah. You. Get the picture. I NEED TO TRAVEL, YO! 56. Pair of trainers: Uh they’re like really raggedy and old and stuff

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I’m snacking on M&Ms again, like always. 58. Drinking: Water, though methinks I shall make some homemade ginger tea. 59. I’m about to: Probably go shower. It’s 3 PM and I still am in my pajamas. 62. Want: To fucking write and do NaNo and yet life’s been busy and I haven’t had the time for a word but I HAVE SO MANY VLD FANFICS I WANT TO DO AND AURGHGHGHGHGHGH the goal is to somehow write and finish my universal translator mix-up one this month???? We’ll see! Translators, stay tuned, and thanks again for offering to help! 63. Get married: 97% of me doesn’t want to get married I think? 64. Career: Linguistics consultant of doom. Not sure if this can be a career but if I could, I would enjoy continuing the remote work. To explain: I currently work contract positions with various companies who hire me for short-term projects, in which I use my linguistics expertise to analyze and annotate large sums of data according to certain guidelines. 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I. LOVE. HUGS. SO. MUCH. HUGGGGGMEEEEE! I always look closed off in my body language but I swear the inside of me is always going “Giff me the cuddles and don’t let go.” 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes are the most gorgeous thing about humans seriously. 67. Shorter or taller: I prefer to be the short one in all social situations. 68. Older or younger: For friends, I’m chill with whatever age you are. Dating, also chill, though I think I tend to prefer being slightly older just ’cause that’s how most of my relationships have been? But really doesn’t matter. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms. Nice arms are unique for me. I’m pretty happy with lots of different stomach types I see - tummies just are cute! :) 71. Sensitive or loud: A combo is fun but what I look for most in any platonic or anything relationship is someone with a deep heart. I want friends with whom I can confide in anything... so has to be that sensitive side (sensitive-logical if that makes sense is what I like best). 72. Hook up or relationship: I’ve done random PG hookups? But my answer for this is relationship; hookups are only fun for short-term boosts of self-confidence and not being 100% genuine and just being like carefree “whatever” for a night (make sure you both know you’re just doing the hookup night though, please guys, no deception!). Long-term relationships though are glorious like none other for their emotional power. <3 That is pure beauty, caring for someone deeply with lasting loyalty. But of course ya’ll know me... I find nothing more beautiful to cherish than deep platonic care! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Combo of both!

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Yeppers 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes ugh I have no clue where one of my pairs of glasses are again 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: I’ve had sex never so this is an easy answer 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: Yes, typically 85. Miracles: Absolutely 86. Love at first sight: I mean I don’t deny it happens. It happens. But I don’t think it’s pragmatic to think that’s what’ll happen to you. 87. Santa Claus: Come on, of course North and the Guardians are kicking Pitch’s butt! 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: I don’t have one best friend right now. A few of my current closest friends are named Josh, “Hux”, Keith, JuLee, Rachel, Peter, and Meredith. 91. Eye color: Brown 92. Favorite movie: HOW DO I PICK ONE FAVORITE MOVIE FUCK YOU?? The Prince of Egypt, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the How to Train Your Dragon movies, Pacific Rim, there, I made a list.

Uhhhhh let’s so who should I tag... if you want to do it... @akkeyroomi @the-mr-eggplant @chiefrosepetal @thefuriousnightfury @insaneskye @fanwriter02 @dragonpride99 @jettara @margarethelstone @shailyesshadow @hubwalker1 @godguy0001 @theravenfliesagain @frosty-viking @jackthevulture @hiccup-is-left-handed @dragonnan @spacekeet @nightfury326 yaknowwhat I am not going to count but we’ll say that’s about 20 XD

#non-dragons #long post #swearing #meme #ask meme #about me #blabbing Haddock #my life

17 notes · View notes