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neonghostcat · 3 months

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Brain Overflow

You know how in my last 'state of the author' post I said I could feel the urge to write coming back?

Oh, it has.

It's terribly inconvenient too. I'm going to tell you a little about some of the things I've been thinking of and then whine/wibble a tiny bit if you click through to behind the cut. (You don't have to read the last bit!)

I've written down three different SVSSS (LiuShen) ideas in the last couple of weeks, added a few thoughts to older ideas, made a mental note of possible Cultivate extras, and just refused to write down others so as not to encourage rampant plot bunny breeding.

But let me tell you about a few of them because I'm hoping it reduces the urge to work on them better than just typing up notes.

The Lady Blackbird fusion Not sure what Lady Blackbird is? Well, it's a free tabletop rpg that you can download here. But the TL;DR is, "Sort of like steampunk Star Wars: A New Hope + Firefly + potential Jane Austen novel, if you want." I'll just C&P the pitch here: Lady Blackbird is an Imperial noble fleeing from an arranged marriage to be with her secret lover, the pirate king Uriah Flint. To reunite with him, she has hired a notorious smuggler and the crew of his skyship, The Owl. However, The Owl has been captured by an Imperial cruiser. How will Lady Blackbird and the others escape? What dangers lie in their path on the way to the pirate king’s lair? Can you see where this is going? (Actually, probably not your first thought, no.) We start with Shen Yuan transmigrated in a xianxia-by-way-of-steampunk gown, sitting in a jail cell with several men, a teenage boy, and a veiled teenage girl. System helpfully informs him that he is now "Lady" Blackbird, on the run to end up in the arms of Pirate King Mobei-Jun. His cell-mates are, as follows: Smuggler Captain Liu Qingge, Lady Blackbird's personal bodyguard Liu Mingyan who suggested her brother when LB said she wanted to escape, the ship's mechanic Shang Qinghua, the ship's doctor Mu Qingfang (or they pick him up later, I haven't decided), and "a goblin named BingBing". While SY is busy freaking out that System can't fool him - that's the Protagonist, Luo Binghe!!! wtf!!! System says "later, loser" and more-or-less abandons him (though still employing an OOC ban). So now you can probably see where this is going, lol. It involves at least a brief period where SY has to crossdress and pretend to be one of Binghe's future wives - a fiancée/wife of Mobei-Jun as Liu Qingge gets very conflicted feelings about his troublesome passenger. Featuring lots of Cumplane friendship, sassy MQF (as a treat), teenage smirking (likely aided and abetted by the adults), and space whales (naturally). I have not yet fully decided if the story Shen Yuan read was PIDW and now he has to figure out how the infiltration of "space with gears on it" into his xianxia has fucked up what he and Airplane know, or if the story was something like "Proud Immortal Starlit Way" and it was always like that. (Thoughts?) ---

The "SY Bodysnatches MQF" idea What it says on the tin... SY accidentally ends up in MQF's body instead of SQQ's. Only MQF isn't gone - he remains. This occurs directly before the Demonic Invasion and double qi deviation part of the plot and they rush back to the sect to deal with that. Then things get messy while they conspire to get SY his own body. Featuring: An extremely confused Liu Qingge, eventual Shenbros, and aro-ace MQF being very bemused at all times. ---

The "LQG Gets De-Aged/Age-Regressed" idea As you can guess: LQG gets age-regressed. This happens in Lingxi Caves instead of his death-by-deviation. He latches onto SY-SQQ and SY-SQQ is helpless to do anything but take the cute kid in. Featuring: BingLiu friendship, possibly Bing-other disciples friendship, but mostly establishing bro-code that makes Binghe switch his infatuation with SY-SQQ into family feelings as soon as LQG regains his adult body and it becomes clear that LiuShen is happening. ----

This is along with: Joint Custody (LiuShen), my SJ-SQQ second-chance redemption fic (LiuShen and LiuJiu, but different LQGs), a peak lords ascension fic using Cultivate's backstory (LiuJiu), a LiuShen timeloop fic, and at least another half a dozen fic ideas sitting in the hopper that aren't nearly as developed/that I am not burning to write yet.

I'd love to know which ideas you guys are most interested in. ;) Joint Custody is still next regardless and I'll probably not be working on either of the LiuJiu fics in the near future because they are definitely 100k+ territory and I'm still not ready for that. But knowing people are hype for something keeps me hype. ;3

I'll probably be in this fandom awhile, y'all. Please send help.

Sadly, I can't work on any of them yet, because I have over 2,600 messages in my inbox waiting for me to respond to. (This is not a humble brag - this is thousand-yard-stare territory. It was somewhere over 3000 for awhile until I started making a list of people who generally only left emojis or thanks and let them know that I was going to just thank them for all of them in one email so they didn't peppered by replies in kind.)

Not that I'm complaining about them, because I missed replying to comments so much (it's genuinely one of my favorite parts about writing fanfic), but it's still a lot and even if I could manage 100 replies a day (which for mental health reasons, I really can't), it's going to take awhile.

RIP.

More importantly - I hope you are well! 🌼

#fic planning

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allbluedepths · 3 months

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This was originally part of the ship bingo post, but it spiraled out of control and became a very large pile of thoughts. So instead, the Wings of the Emperor AU is getting its own ship dynamics post for Shanks, Mihawk, and Benn because it's sorta its own thing, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out how to even tag for it because none of their relationships fit in neat boxes very well.

(Wings of the Emperor AU is my early Red Hair Pirates era AU where Mihawk chooses to not become a Warlord and ends up not joining, but semi-sailing with the Red Hair Pirates. It mostly focuses on Mihawk's early dueling years with Shanks, his interactions with the Red Hair Pirates, and eventually getting swept up into their sailing shenanigans. TL;DR: I had the thought of "who would Mihawk be if forced to answer the question of 'who am I beyond just being a swordsman'" and it all spiraled from there.

For the record, some of the earlier posts aren’t 100% accurate anymore — big one being that I traded the “Mihawk was almost Shanks’ first mate” bit for something else — but this is an indulgent ship post, not me correcting my own lore post LOL.)

So, here’s a pile of thoughts to get my brain in gear to actually write more of the fic itself, haha. : )

This AU is… complicated? I'd say it's endgame Mihawk/Shanks/Benn triad in a very non-traditional relationships way. For example, by the time Mihawk semi-joins them and turns down the Warlord position, even Shanks and Mihawk don't have a concrete romantic relationship, and theirs is still the closest to that, haha. I guess it's best classified as:

Shanks and Mihawk: close relationship bordering on romantic; there's mutual interest, but their definitions of romantic also don't match "standard" definitions of romance, so it doesn't always read as that to others. Rivals/partners with a romantic flair?? Since Mihawk turning down the Warlord position and choosing to join them comes with a good chunk of other upheaval, there's a conscious decision to not really label anything, but they're on the same page of being mutually interested.

Shanks and Benn: hellooooo complex intertwined captain-first mate relationships. The fun duality of being both incredibly simple and incredibly complex. I'm team "many working captain-first mate relationships basically become life partnerships", and they're probably the prime example of that. Inconveniently for tagging purposes, it's smack dab in the middle of "&" and "/" relationships for AO3, so… eh, the vibes are vague. The details past the fact that they're basically each other's most trusted person stop mattering at a certain point.

Benn and Mihawk: Complicated, haha. By far the side of the triad with the most development to be had; right now, it's more like they're separate sides of a V polycule, rather than a triad, but the foundation's there. An odd, unexpected friendship turned an even more unexpected camaraderie as the years go by and Mihawk's around more and more. Absolutely no one outside of them (and occasionally Shanks) can really parse out what's going on here. Again, just over the line of what I'd tag as "&", and develops veeeeeery slowly over the years in its own undefined way.

…That ended up as a whole ass wall of words, haha. Shorter summary if you're looking for general relationship shifts:

Mihawk sails with the Red Hair Pirates (~6 years after the RHP start): only Shanks/Mihawk are semi/almost-romantic

Sailing time until Dawn Island: Shanks/Mihawk slowly get their shit together; Shanks/Benn inch toward maybe another realization or two, Benn/Mihawk "two introvert cats" bond starts really kicking in

Post-Dawn Island: Shanks/Benn get their shit together (thank you, realizations about mortality)

The decade-ish between Dawn Island and current canon: It's a polycule between an Emperor, an Emperor's first mate, and the World's Greatest Swordsman. Who cares if it makes sense to anyone else; it works for them, lol.

If you read this far, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed an unexpectedly long analysis drop for an AU I haven't posted for in a while and mostly exists in my brain right now, haha!

#wings of the emperor au #mishanks #bennshanks #bennhawk #bennmishanks #red haired shanks #dracule mihawk #benn beckman #one piece #akagami no shanks #is it a ship? is it not? who knows but it sure is Something

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ryuichirou · 4 months

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Today’s replies~ Not a lot today, sorry!

Anonymous asked:

I'M SCREAMING THE STRING OF DROOL BETWEEN ORTHO'S LIPS AND IDIA'S

....... **slurp**

Nooo Ortho wanted to slurp this one 😭 just kidding, enjoy (what a cursed way start to a post LOL)

I’m glad you noticed the drool! I draw too many drooly boys these days… Maybe it’s a phase.

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Random headcanons I can't share in my normal blog so here:

Ortho has a weenier that vibrates

Riddle LOVES being spanked

Heartslabyul (Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ace, Deuce no NOCs) have a bit of a "don't ask don't tell" rule so if one walks to the maze for some fun and happens to see Azul going down on Riddle with The Tweels, you just never say anything

Alright, let’s comment on these ones!

YES Ortho has a bunch of those, and now that he is capable of making his own gears and bodyparts, he is experimenting with shapes, sizes and functions~

Riddle absolutely loves being spanked but his brains can’t process that just yet (in theory it sounds awful to him), so one must catch him off guard… he’ll enjoy it a lot though.

As for Heartslabyul… well, at least this rule isn’t from the Queen’s rulebook, I guess it needs to be updated 😭

furubatsu asked:

I might be misremembering it, but there's a vignette that establishes Trey's thing for teeth and uh, is it me or was Deuce way too chill about a guy just...holding his mouth open for inspection? Now I'm at work imagining Trey or Cater having some fun with what Deuce will put up with from them because their his Senpai and thinking to themselves "someone should teach Deuce to be more aware of peoples intentions with him. I mean, not me, but someone"

I… think we need to watch that vignette, I don’t remember it 😳 But I am SUPER NOT SURPRISED by everything that you’re describing because Deuce is honestly way too trusting. We did have a scene in Glorious Masquerade when Azul was shocked by the fact that Deuce would trust him so easily, you don’t even have to scam this boy – he pretty much scams himself. And since he respects his senpai so much (and that was the case even when he was a delinquent, wow…), he would absolutely allow Trey or Cater or anyone else to do anything with him, as long as they say that it’s important.

And both Trey and Cater are actually douchey enough to do these things to him lol Even if they feel a bit guilty afterwards…

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on Lilia x Riddle? I feel like Riddle would be have mixed feelings about being topped by someone shorter than him.

Oh that would absolutely be interesting and unusual for Riddle, it would be interesting to see them together simply due to their sizes. Lilia is also full of surprises both in a sexual way and in just a personal way, and Riddle is the perfect person to pair with someone like this in a way, because he would never expect what Lilia would say or do next. He wouldn’t expect to be dominated so fiercely…

#replies

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lovebites-if · 7 months

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I was wondering how would the RO's react to mc who subtly hints at RO's that they live them but they don't directly say it so at one point when mc gets super drunk they hold the RO's face and holds it close and say "MAN your a really work you know that? I've been trying to give you hints I love you on a romantic way but you don't seem to be noticing them...am I not hinting enough to you?" And mc goes back to drinking more forgetting what just happened(Thank you for answering my ask<3)

Naira/Namid- is probably just as drunk as you are, if not more, but their eyes light up like a child watching fireworks. They slide an arm, laughing merrily and squeezing you (too tightly, lacking a bit of control with their strength), “Dude— that’so, that’s so great that you think so. You’re, like,” and then N starts rambling about everything they find great about you. Maybe it’s best neither of you remember anything.

Val- scrunches up their nose ever so slightly before their expression goes back to its measured freezing cold calculation. “Humans really are... an unfortunate sight when under the influence,” Val says with slight disdain. They lean in your direction, “You mistake me. I’m not blind, you see. Just— enjoying watching you trip over yourself.” (they smirk to themself, unaware that you’ll be too wasted to remember lol)

Maureen/Marius- Their previously relaxed expression turns stiff, frozen in place, before M smiles amicably. “You know that’s not allowed,” they remind you. M drinks a sip of their own drink, they say, “But you’re not going to remember any of this, are you? Maybe you should stop drinking so much—” The topic is swiftly changed as M starts lecturing you over proper consumption of alcohol.

Devan- “Me? Work? Do you even know me?” Devan laughs cheerfully, slapping their knee. They inch closer to you with an impish grin, “Hey, but that’s really cute. And you’re so not going to remember. Look how drunk you are. So~ Guess I have to be the one reminding you tomorrow, huh? Oh no~” Devan chuckles mischievously. In your drunken haze, you manage to feel a bit afraid of what they might pull out in the morning.

Lucian/Leah- “Don’t.” Though L has drunk just as much as you, they seem completely sober (they do seem like they want to drink more after your confession), “Why? Why? I’m—” very L around you and they don’t seem to know why you’d be into that. Giving up after L sees just how drunk you are, they add, “I’m not hanging out with a human ever again.”

Cyrus- “Ah.” You see the gears in Cyrus’ brain turn, connecting the dots, giving new meanings to all the previous interactions between the two of you. Their pale cheeks seem incapable of flushing (but Cyrus’ expression looks plenty embarrassed either way) “So that’s what all of that was— Hey, stop drinking! I like you too. You have to remember this in the morning or I’ll feel like banging my head against the printer...”

???- “Cute.” They chuckle, smirk, lean back to watch you, “How about you come over, sleep, and tell me all of that again in the morning?”

#n is such a lightweight this is something theyd do gndngnd #this was such a fun ask tyty🥺💕#love bites if #love bites #val #naira/namid #devan #lucian/leah #maureen/marius #cyrus #ros #ask

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yanderes-galore · 9 months

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I can't say I'm really good dealing with writer's block either. I learned that it's good to just sit down and gear your brain by telling it, "Okay, I'm writing for this long." And I know often the best thing for me to do, depending, is just sit down and make myself start. Sorry this is kind of unsolicited advice XD Anyway, don't feel like you have to force yourself to do anything! Ultimately, if you need a break, you need a break. My advice from experience is just don't take too long XD Whenever I do I rarely if ever get back to it

I'm most likely taking a break.

I've been doing non-stop tech support for PCs and Xboxs this week that I just need to relax.

Recently I've been trying to work a Laptop my mother never used but it's on like ancient Windows 10 so it's having software issues I'm trying to fix.

But I do hope I return to writing soon, when I'm not shaking over PCs lol.

So I guess my lack of motivation is more like I'm distracted I guess.

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wild-aloof-rebel · 11 months

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Leslie! What is new? Are you in any new fandoms? Loving baseball? We miss you!

aww, thanks, anon! 💗 what is new with me... i guess the main thing is that i got a new job, which is nice. it's been much less stressful so far than my old one was for most of the last year, so i've been slowly regaining some of my mental energy (and a more regular sleep schedule), and that's letting me finally start to [just barely] dip my toe back into writing. that's prob still gonna feel like the gears are grinding for a while, but i know it'll eventually get easier as i get back into it more

no new fandoms, though i've been taking a little detour back through an old, persistent one and doing a chronological rewatch of all the star wars-verse movies, shows, and shorts over the last few weeks. i just finished the mandalorian again for that, which puts me at 86.87% of the way done with everything now. (you will probably not be surprised to learn there is a spreadsheet to keep track of it, lol)

definitely still watching plenty of baseball, though i've only managed to make it to one regular-season game in person so far this year. we went to nine games in five days during spring training and the world baseball classic though, so that makes up for it a bit. and i'm gonna make it to every game of a three-game series in a couple weeks, so i'm looking forward to that. still not loving the rule changes this season though, but what can you do? 🤷‍♀️

otherwise, def still thinking about sc and missing david and patrick, and i'm hoping that once i get my writing brain actually working again i can finally finish writing the other chapters of the hardest part. i'm def still here on tumblr, too—not nearly as much as before my job blew up last year, especially during the work day, but i am indeed still kicking around here most days, any time anyone feels like saying hi!

#anon #replies #thanks for asking!#hope you're well anon!

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amazing-spiderling · 6 months

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fic writer asks: 1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

I'm going to be a little cheaty- since there's two fandoms I've written a chunk for, I'd leave it up to the reader as to which they'd prefer, but they both have a lot in common.

If someone was of the Metal Gear persuasion, I'd tell them to read "Rat in a Foxhole", which is a story that consumed my brain and I think I was smashing out a chapter a day or something, because I was SO INSPIRED by a piece of artwork (itself, an album redraw) that my brain was on fire and the only way to get it out was to put the words on the screen. The fic has a bit to do with some information we get from MGS 5, specifically that Huey had intended for his son Hal to be a child mech pilot (the pilots needed to be small because of the limitations of the size of the cockpit). My brain immediately got to wondering about what would happen to such a child pilot once they grew and "aged out" of the program (or the program shut down because wtf). Then I saw @polmcarts artwork of a version of Hal and Dave meeting in some kind of bootcamp and the plot was born.

It's a sort of... meditative fic? I often imagine my stories as screenplays, and if it was viewed in that way, there would be a lot of long silences, detail shots, vast open landscapes etc. It does, of course, include a drawn out winter arc because I'm that bitch, and it's got a few twists and turns before (of course) ultimately ending on a hopeful note.

Likewise "The Man in the Mask" is a Spideypool AU that envisions an alternate meeting, and one of the characters not being forthcoming with who they are and why they're there. This one was another story that was really burning a hole in my brain, although it took me a lot longer to get it out. Having a little Marvel familiarity (with mutants and the legacy virus in particular) helps, but I've had people tell me that I did a good enough of a job explaining the concept in the fic that they weren't too lost. This one reads a bit like a "bottle episode" with the two characters more or less trapped in a single apartment and making the best of it. (I guess you could say Dave and Hal were trapped in the boot camp in the first one, so there's that.) For a story about Wade and Peter, this one also has a lot of introspection and quiet moments before a few things bubble over.

Just like the first story, this one had people screaming at me before they finished off the last chapter, which I think is a bit of a feather in my cap as a writer, it means I sold the drama and brought things to a satisfying conclusion. I call both of these some of my "weird ones" because they're extremely niche AUs that I wrote for myself, so it really makes me happy when they ping with people. I wish I had ideas like these more often.

17. I kind of have a bug in my brain about doing a fantasy adjacent Earth-65 AU featuring "The Merry Janes" and I guess AUs of AUs counts as niche... Oh, god and I really want to write a 616 or NMCU (or combo) one about Matt and Foggy being academic rivals and complaining about each other online anonymously and becoming friends (and more) without realizing. I was watching a compilation of 90's/2000's anime intros and the beginning of "His and Her Circumstances" started spooling little ideas in my head. And now that I'm on a roll, my brain is like "Lol what if Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne AU" where Matt is a "holy thief" stealing/exorcising relics and Foggy is on the side of the law trying to bring him in sfdkdsjflj And of course there's the Madoka E-65 AU I want to flesh out at some point, but that might be a better comic than story. Moral of the story is, Anime: Not Even Once.

25. thesaurus.com LOL I don't actually do a lot of looking at resources when I'm actually writing and I don't have a lot of "go to" pages for things, it's kind of random. I will do searches for things like "what year was this thing invented", but I don't have a bookmarked tab of "popular weapons in ancient china and how to use them" or anything like that. I guess I use Youtube a lot to listen to vapor/chillwave mixes while I write, is that anything? I guess a resource I use is the sprintbot in discord (and my fellow server members) to help get my brain to focus. I keep meaning to try that website that has little doodads on it to help adhd brains focus on writing but i keep forgetting.

#thanks for the ask #sorry i got chatty lol #longpost

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leggomyayygo · 2 years

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i saw your post earlier, and you’re absolutely right. the mileven tag has a lot of issues. first of all is the type of content being posted.

we barely have any active blogs, and the ones that are seem to be more content posting anti-by/ler hate then actually propping up mike and el. like from what i’ve seen, that’s exactly what by/lers make fun of us about, and we’re playing right into their narrative.

next is the cross-tagging. this isn’t entirely our fault, with bigger juggernaut ships mostly to blame. but god it’s so hard to find mileven content like headcanon or fic when it’s drowned out by anti content or unrelated relationships.

honestly that’s all I can think of off the top of my head, but i’d love to hear your thoughts.

Oh hey there!! 🤗

Ight lemme just preface this by saying I'm reeeeeeeeally struggling with word retrieval and transitions today, so I apologize if this is... clunky, lol. 🙈💧

It's a tricky situation for sure! First, we're outnumbered af. That alone puts us at a disadvantage for content output. Factor in that there's generally less of a "need" to generate content of long-canonized ships (for obvious reasons lol), and it's a recipe for a pretty quiet tag. The fact of the matter is that Mileven is and has been canon for several years now. It's only natural that hype would die down. For the most part, Mileven shippers have graduated from the honeymoon stage to having a more quiet and resevered appreciation for the ship. But for those of us who never left, or those whose love has been reinvigorated (me lol), it can be really frustrating when all you want to do is celebrate your ship. So yes, while I do wish there was more positive Mileven content to consume, I get why there's so little of it. A lot of shippers are just content with what canon has provided. 🤷

Now where anti-b*ler content is concerned.... generally I don't mind seeing it myself, but there's definitely exceptions to this and I can see how others would prefer to not see it at all. While I try to avoid the topic of B*ler on my own blog, I sympathize with Mileven shippers who are constantly under fire by trolls and antis who just don't know when to quit. It's really shitty and unnecessary behavior, especially considering how much they outnumber us. I get how choosing to engage with them could very well be giving them what they want, but simultaneously I can understand the frustration and desire to throw it back at them. Plus I'd be lying if I didn't find the content amusing or cathartic at times. I guess it really isn't my place to tell people how to deal with being harassed, but yeah. I agree that it would be better to only tag anti-b*ler. Even if don't mind seeing it, it would make finding actual Mileven content a LOT easier.

As for the cross-tagging..... Yeahhhhh... There's not much I can really add 😂 It's a much bigger issue than us, and aside from telling them to cut it out (a likely futile effort), I really don't know what else can be done on our side. THIS IS WHY WE NEED A "HIDE" BUTTON GODDAMMIT ASKSHDJDK 😤

Some final thoughts:

While there's little we can do solve these issues, one thing we CAN do is just try to engage with other shippers and put out content of our own. If we get the ball rolling, it may inspire others to do the same. Hell, I'm no writer, but because a mutual sent a simple Mileven ask, it got the gears in my head turning and I started writing a wholeass fic 🤣 I also want say that I do believe things are starting to head in a better direction. I've only had this blog for 3 months, but in the time that I've been here, I do believe that I've seen a positive shift. And I mean... we are bringing Mileven Week back this year, so I can't be the only one who thinks this. 😋💕

Anyway, I hope this was the type of response you were looking for! Again, my brain isn't working all that well today but I did my best 😅

Thanks for stopping by!! ✨

#leggomyayygo #ayygo asks!#anon #mileven #lol here I am tagging mileven anyway #maybe we just need a new tag exclusively for mileven fan content?#''mileven positivity'' or something?#would that even take off? lol

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paynnincorporated · 2 years

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Word and Connor roleswap au!!

Basically, villain / bio-engineer Connor and smalltime gear mechanic Word. Responding accordingly, Moordryd’s “destiny” as Shadow Booster is handed to him by his father, and Artha has to do his father’s bidding on Beau.

More deets on this au:

Connor sets up Penn Inc (LOL THIS SOUNDS SO DUMB) and is essentially a bio-engineer sort of mad scientist. Canon word mostly experiments with tech/gear, villain Connor does experiments on dragons and breeds for all colours.

Word on the other hand, is in Mid City, and owns a gear/mechanic business. While he does make some gear, production is very home-made, not super commercialised like in canon. Business is also in-part via providing mechanic services ie fixing gear.

Idk whether Word remains a member of the Priesthood, though I feel like it'd be easier storywise for both dads to be priesthood exiles.

Word meets Zulay, who is still the DE leader but not power hungry lol. Fira on the other hand, is as ambitious as her husband.

Moordryd is still the leader of the Dragon Eyes Crew, and like in canon, his father passes him the SB amulet upon learning Connor has managed to create the Dragon of Legend. (SB Amulet is passed down through the DEs)

Artha is the one with the redemption arc in this au, and it's largely Lance who influences it I guess. Eventually, him, beau, lance all betray Connor or something, up till Meggy turns up.

As for Parm and Kitt, they work on Artha's side for monetary compensation but eventually have a “Cain’s Mutiny esque” scenario where they cement that their loyalties lie with Artha, not his dad. Lol redemption arcs for everyone.

DEs are all good eggs, so we get to see the DEs as a crew try and make Down City safer/better. Unfortunately, Connor's dragon breeding business (in all colours) means he's highly influential amongst the crews, even if his son's racing team is "crew-less"

Both Word and Connor are priesthood exiles (just to make things easier story wise). Word does not fake his death to traumatise Moordryd into becoming the SB/start racing. He already does that as part of his mother’s legacy. So Word is around as himself to dish out all the knowhow as a past Dragon Priest. Possible tension point is discovering his father lied about his mom dying due to something related to the amulet?? Idk yet.

I think the general gist of the au is other coloured draconium vs black!

Brain going bzzz with au ideas of late, with unfortunately very little motivation to draw :’) Also! I have DB merch I’m going to make soon for a local comic convention, might open it to international orders too, but it won’t be tooooooooo serious a shop or anything. Still a big Maybe as logistics are not my forte.

#dragon booster #dragon booster au #word paynn #connor penn #moordryd paynn #artha penn #roleswap au

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 year

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Ah, thank you for answering my silly ask!

Hmm, I think I might understand. I ship a lot of things where I feel strongly about one of the characters but don't really care about the other. But it sounds like you're more logical in your approach, thinking about actual dynamics and chemistry. I'm just like: Oh look, it's my fav. Who can he be cute with?

I like Pelleas, too. :)

Also, I saw your Tellius tier list too, and I have a bone to pick with you about Jarod x Micaiah! Hahaha, just kidding.

Unless-

Sometimes I just take ages to answer simple things lol, sorry about that!

I love pairing my faves when I find a good ship for them, and then there are some others that I don't ship or pair with anyone like Oscar. A favorite, but I have no romantic ships for him and see him as more of a family man with the GMs and not interested in romance. He has his brothers and extended family, and he even told Kieran in their PoR supports that he intended to stay with the GMs and continue to fight with them as a mercenary forever because that was what made him happy.

Typically for me ships pop up out of chemistry and that's when I find them cute. Take dmcl for instance. Dimitri was my fave when I started shipping them, but I've always liked Lorenz as a character and through his development more than Claude. I ended up liking Claude more after shipping him with my fave because it made me think deeper into his character and gave me more chances to interact with his characterization. It made me appreciate Claude as a character more, and I originally just shipped him with Dimitri because I enjoyed their chemistry and the possibilities it had. Prior to them I liked Dimileth, but Claude had my little ship brain gears going with Dimitri (and it doesn't help that like 90% of official Houses artwork sticks them together. Not my fault IS treats like them they're attached at the hip LOL).

Then you have the ones that sprout off of development via interaction, like Shinaff. Dumbasses basically threatened murder to each other when they first met! RD's supports are a combination of both impersonal and personal, but Shinon uses his generic lines for Janaff, indicating familiarity (versus Tibarn, Naesala and Caineghis as other laguz whom he actually has personal lines directed at and are people he couldn't interact with in PoR. In fact, most of his personal support lines are directed at laguz and are all positive). If you didn't get their supports, his first interaction with Janaff is wholly negative, but his first support line in RD is positive. Because of that I like to consider it the next step in their support chain, so post A support in PoR but C support in RD, rather than just no support in PoR and a brand new support chain for them in RD (and it helps that RD carries over supports, so they do get an internal bond that gets listed in their bios if they've carried their A support over). It feels more natural that way for me, especially since Shinon only has three supports in PoR. I also love how they were both originally racist and overcame that, and since Janaff overcame it first before meeting him, he helped Shinon overcome it by talking with him.

Tbh I'm a bit weird with ships I think because I even ship things for characters I just don't even care about much if at all, or I might ship something as "that's cute/that could work" when I don't actually care much for the ship itself? Sometimes I can explain it in depth depending on the ship (ex. Fogado/Yunaka is among the "I ship this because of what it could bring but I don't really care about it enough to make/request content for it), and sometimes it's like Bernadetta/Hubert where I'm like I ship this but I don't care at all if it's present or not. Mind you, I like Hubert as a character and Bernadetta is one of my most despised characters in the whole franchise, so... I'm weird when it comes to ship chemistry I guess LOL.

Unless... Unless... you have a hate ship you like? LOL. My "what" list is a combination of "where on Tellius did this ship even get thought up and why is it here" and "I have no idea how you could ship this", but also "I think this is a hate ship" LOL.

#DCB Ask #reneethegreatandpowerful

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moss-flesh · 1 year

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ahhh tell me about Aila's eating habits and what calms her down after a bad day?

AHH I started answering this then got distracted SORRY !!! ily thanku for asking viper!!! also this is ?? so long i just kept typing im sorry im gonna make this small font coz god damn

(sort of a tw for disordered eating just a bit)

but when she was in the circle and a little bit after, she had a big food problem? in the circle i feel like the food they served was not very good nor nutritious and over time she just got use to barely eating it. but also it was a control thing for her. she hates feeling out of control and i guess in a weird way it was kind of like ‘okay they can give me this but i decide how much i eat it and when’ and that wasnt often.

it changed for a bit coz for a while she was able to work in the kitchens ! which she loved a lot cos she does genuinely love food. and she loved what she helped make so she ate it. and also she was just happier so it was easier for her to want and enjoy it. she had access to the better stuff that they served the templars and often snacked on it. i feel like the circle would usually serve a gruel type thang with old gross ingredients to the mages like idk maybe im circle and chantry phobic but it feels logical they would save the best food for the templars to keep them strong and the mages weaker. or even if its not a conscious thing it happens.

but anyway stuff happens that im unsure if i wanna talk about but she wrongly loses her job in the kitchens and her habits get bad again.

BUT BUT when she leaves the circle she really starts to enjoy cooking and eating again. she loves cooking for alistair and everyone else, even tho she acts like shes just doing it coz she is the best cook so duh she has to cook. she loves fresh fruits and veg, and meat. she wants to try seafood instead of freshwater fish from lake calenhad even tho that was her fave in the circle coz it was the freshest.

but anyway when she leaves the circle, she genuinely saves most of her money for yes gear and other supplies but she tries her HARDEST to get the best food she can on the road. she snacks on bread and cheese and dried fruit all the time. though she wasnt exactly rich growing up before the circle. she was decently well off but for the millionth time her dad was living his noble fantasy life(even tho he shoulda been spending money on more important things) he usually had very good food served(mostly for his own pleasure). so she always had a taste for well cooked food. im rambling anyway my brain feels so proud of her tbh for growing in that aspect and learning feel free in her eating habits. my beby<3

ANYWAY !! after a bad day my bitch loves to read, bitch loves to study. in the circle shed just distract herself by constantly learning and it just calms her so well. after leaving the circle she continues this, but she finds so much comfort in alistair its wild. she loves a cuddle, even if she doesnt admit it. she loves to look at the stars, and she loves a hot tea. she is kind of bad at realizing when shes stressed or overstimulated. she will be on the verge exploding and ali will be like “should i make u some tea? u seem frustrated my dear” shes like “oh… i am frustrated ur right. lol.” alis like “yeah :) <3 want me to get out ur journals?” shes like “okay… but also come here im cold” CUDDLE COMMENCE! hot tea commence !

#i rambled in this SM im sorry its late but i wanted to talk abt this a lot #ily viper i kiss u #aila amell

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sweet-star-cookie · 2 years

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3, 11, 21, 27, 30 for the weird art ask game!!

Eeeey these are great, thank you! :D I’ll put the answers under the cut to save a dash or two haha

3. What ideas come from when you were little?

I’m assuming this is asking “what ideas do you have now that started from when you were little”, so I’m going to answer it like that lol

I have a bunch of different story ideas and characters that are from varying eras of my life at this point, all of which I intend to reboot/finish eventually, but rather than getting into all of those at once, I’ll talk more about general subjects/inspirations that I’ve had since childhood. It's interesting to see what subject matter I was most interested in at different parts of my life though!

I was REALLY into animal fantasy growing up (Warriors, Guardians of Ga’Hoole, etc.) so a lot of my oldest ideas feature animals/fantasy creatures as the protagonists, something that absolutely did not change! My love for dragons in particular (thanks to Spyro the Dragon) is one of the first things that any new person I meet learns about me, though I also really love cats (especially big cats), birds (especially owls and raptors), dogs (especially foxes and wolves), and pretty much every cool mythical creature I can think of. I had friends who were horse girls, and I was the dragon girl (Spyro, Dragonology, Eragon, The Last Dragon Chronicles, Dragon-type Pokémon, you name it). Though I have done some much needed expansion of my skills and subject matter since, I still tend to favour animal characters and creature design to drawing regular humans, to the point that I didn’t actually start drawing humans until college! Even with humanoids or monster kids, I tend to give them a lot more animal traits where possible, as I usually find them most interesting to work with.

Runescape was an early inspiration for my love of knights and fantasy weapon/armour design, and that definitely hasn’t changed either! I’m glad that my ability to draw humans has increased enough that I can actually draw proper armour on them now lol

Despite how prominent my star aesthetic is now (primarily influenced by Kirby), that actually wasn’t something that would appear in my art as a significant motif/influence until later in life. Or rather, I’d use it a lot as a kid without really thinking about it, as a lot of general fantasy stuff uses that aesthetic too, but I wasn’t consciously aware of my love for it until much later, and thus I lean into it a lot more nowadays. The influence was there from the start, but I guess the sleeper agent in my brain took a bit to kick in lol

Honestly, I carry the vast majority of my interests from childhood into my current art, so this list is far from exhaustive! Not to get too philosophical here, but I think I primarily use my art to maintain the connection to those things, as they still bring me the same or similar joy as they did in the past, only now I have the proper skills to actually make those ideas real. I think child me would freak out if she saw what I can do now, so it’s a great feeling :)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what?

The short answer is “almost anything”, as I usually just have my unorganized YouTube playlist going when I need to work for a while, which I’ve periodically added stuff to over the years whenever I stumble across a new track I like. My taste in music is so varied that it’s incredibly hard to explain, though generally I tend to favour upbeat/fast tracks while working, keeps that dopamine flowing, you know? Anything from EDM to 90s/00s pop to power metal to electroswing to VGM, whatever gets the gears turning in the moment!

That said though, I’m in the process of curating more specific playlists for specific moods or if I’m drawing a particular type of sequence or scene (like a battle music playlist when drawing two characters fighting, stuff like that). I do this for when I’m writing stuff too, as I’m currently in the process of refining my workflow for comics and such, so hopefully that’ll be helpful for getting into the mindset for each of those different scenes later on. I find that I can't usually focus on art with anything other than music playing in the background though, even stuff I've seen before. Not quite sure why, but especially in the case of cartoons/anime, even if I've seen it a million times, I still like looking at it too much lol

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

Answered here! :)

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with?

Honestly every time I remember that warmups are a thing, I ALWAYS forget to actually do them, almost like a weird object permanence type thing lmao

Maybe if I actually got into a routine I might find them useful, but generally I find just drawing circles and lines to be too boring as a warmup. Not by deliberate choice really, as I’m sure they’d actually be helpful with consistent use, but really I just kind of... start until something happens I guess? My methods are mine, sure, but I wouldn't call them efficient necessarily. Either I get into the groove with what I’m drawing or I don’t, and then I decide if I keep pushing through or I switch to something else, especially if I'm working a specific character design/concept. The way that I refine the art for my character sheets involves gradually erasing/redrawing the same sketch until it’s essentially cleaned into line art (I find it keeps more of the life of the drawing that way), so I’m used to this kind of approach when starting my art in general. If I have to doodle something first to start, it’ll usually be a head of some kind of dragon or other animal.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated?

Oooh… that’s a tough one! It’s hard to determine if art you post gets what you feel to be the amount of attention it deserves, as so many factors like post time, subject matter, and luck can determine how many people see it and/or interact with it. I guess my logo design stuff in general is kind of underrated? In the sense that I don’t think there are a lot of people out there that specifically nerd out when they see it like I do. Or at least, I haven’t come across many people that do so far! I understand why of course, characters and such are always going to have a far more universal appeal, and character design will always be my main forte, I just really love logo designs too, as I feel they can have a certain “character” of their own when done right. [insert the "graphic design is my passion" meme here but like, unironically] Here’s one of my most recent logo designs that I’m especially proud of :)

It's posted here if you'd like to reblog it independent of this post :3c

#thank you for the asks! :D #twixremix #asks #long post

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jamieloveslearning · 2 years

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Here's the ramblings from my notes. I find it really hard to organize my thoughts in a linear way, and so I KNOW that they're disorganized but I don't know how to organize them:

I USED that. I USED the excuse of my mind being hazy so I didn't have to take control. If I don't have control, if I just stay limp and emotionless and (oh my god my thoughts are so loud rn they're like the only thing existing g and it's like a storm that whips around more like a tornado actually and I haven't felt this way in a LOOOOONG time it feels like when I used to write down in my journal and I'd have a revalation or something, so honed in its really wild) so if I don't have control nothing is really my fault, the failure of not doing anything for so long, for falling into that slump in 2020 and really rewiring my brain in a lot of ways, trying to cope with the immense amounts of stress. It's not that the brain fog isn't real and doesn't hinder me but I have given in and let myself use it in order to cope, not unlike dissociation. Fuck this might literally just be dissociation but this is more nuanced looking into it.

But when I AM in control, and everything is flying past and my thoughts are so fast they don't even feel like they're me in that I'm the one doing things but that's okay it's like I've got my own mini support system and it's myself lol

So not only does the meds help, the monster drinks help, but what also REALLY helps is reminding myself that I AM totally and wholly capable of doing the things that I want to do. It's like, so simple, but I just had to get there my own way, fire those neurons in the right order in order for it to TRULY make sense to me.

I'm learning how to live and I have to keep reminding myself that I'm alive and I'm a human with agency and choices I keep forgetting it but I'm also slowly REMEMBERING it with more and more frequency, I'm rewriting those pathways.

I am my own person whole in and of itself I've been drilled over and over with "less of me, more of you god" "empty myself so that I may have more of your spirit". I was brainwashed. I TRIED to be empty. But I don't like it, god doesn't take its place, nothing does, so now I have space to fill. And I can fill it however I damn well please.

(REMINDER: reading for hours on end gets my mind working really well like pushing old dusty gears and then they start spinning out of control, wish there was some sort of middle ground but I guess that's why I've got a disorder lol)

#online diary #religious trauma tw #religion tw #tw religion #discussion of religious trauma #i really wish i knew how tagging worked to keep people safe

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jaehyunfirstlove · 3 years

Note

CONGRATS ON YOUR 1K MILESTONE <3 can i please request a dad!jaehyun smut? 🥺💗

Pairing: single dad!jaehyun x teacher's aide!f. reader

Genre: fluff, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: cheesy flirting, unprotected sex, oral sex (f. receiving)

Word count: 2k

A/N: aaaanndd another one i got carried away with lol! hope you like it, anon, and thanks for sending it in!

It was the first day of school and also your first day on the job as a teacher’s aide, and you were ushering the kids into the building when you noticed a boy standing off to the side, clinging to his dad’s leg. You noticed his dad had bent down, attempting to encourage the boy to enter the school with the rest of his classmates, but the boy just shook his head, holding even tighter to his dad’s leg. You walked over to see if you could help.

“Hi there!” you said in your sweetest voice, addressing the boy, “you must be Jeffrey. I’m Ms. L/N, your teacher’s helper.” You held out your hand for him to shake, but he just buried his face further into his dad’s leg.

“I’m sorry,” Jeffrey’s dad shrugged, looking at you with anxious eyes, “he’s just really shy since he doesn’t know anyone.”

“It’s fine,” you smiled, suddenly struck with how attractive Jeffrey’s dad was. Indeed, most of the parents and teachers milling about in the school yard were staring at him. “I’ve been trained for this sort of thing,” you reassured him. You bent down to be eye level with Jeffrey.

“I’m new too, just like you,” you told him, and this got his attention, as he peeked at you from behind his dad’s leg. “And I see you like Pokemon,” you continued, pointing at the keychain on his backpack. Now you really got his attention, and he finally emerged from behind his dad’s back. “I have some Pokemon stickers in the classroom, do you want to see them?”

Jeffrey nodded, smiling widely as he took your hand and followed you into the building. You glanced back at his father, who smiled gratefully at you, and you felt a stutter in your chest at the sight of the dimples that emerged in his cheeks.

---

Over the next few weeks Jeffrey became really attached to you, bonding with you over your shared love of Pokemon. He would sometimes play with the other kids, but mostly he would shadow you as you did your rounds during recess. He’d even opened up to you, telling you how his parents had separated and he’d moved into the area with his dad. You were intrigued by the story, by this sweet little boy who obviously missed his home, and a doting dad who had upended his life to take care of his son.

One day, Jeffrey’s dad was late to pick him up so you offered to stay with him while he waited. When Mr. Jeong finally pulled into the parking lot, he was frazzled, apologizing to you profusely for being late to pick up Jeffrey.

“I’m so sorry,” he’d put his hands together in a placating gesture, his eyes pleading, and you couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it all was. “I had a meeting that went late at work, I promise it won’t happen again.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and he looked at you in surprise. “Mr. Jeong, those aren’t the kinds of promises you should be making,” you said jokingly. You’d only meant to lighten the tone of the situation, but he looked at you then, gears whirring in his head.

“Well Ms. L/N, what kinds of promises do you suggest I make, then?” he tilted his head at you, and your brain was busily trying to decipher if he was being flirtatious or not. You noticed that Jeffrey had wandered off to kick at the wood chips in the playground, and therefore couldn’t hear your conversation, so you decided to be bold.

“Maybe… the kind where I can benefit too, Mr. Jeong?” you raised your eyebrows at him, and he broke into a wide grin.

“You can call me Jaehyun,” he said, his eyes twinkling as he regarded you.

“Then you can call me Y/N,” you answered, then leaned in, whispering, “but not in front of Jeffrey.”

He laughed, a beautiful, velvety sound that was like music to your ears. “How’s this for a promise then,” he put a finger to his lips, pretending like he was thinking hard, “I promise that I’ll be on time to pick you up for our date this Friday night.”

“Is that your way of asking me out?” you asked cheekily.

“Yes? Do you accept?” he asked, now a little unsure but still encouraged by your lighthearted tone.

“I accept,” you nodded, “but let’s see if you can keep that promise.”

---

Friday night came and Jaehyun was indeed late, but just by a few minutes. You couldn’t help but tease him about it the entire time you were out together, and he took your teasing with a very good nature that impressed you. When it finally came time to take you home, he was silent as he walked you to your door, his face pensive.

“Everything okay?” you asked, noticing the change in his demeanor and wondering if you’d done or said something wrong.

“Yeah, I just… I just haven’t done this in a while… the whole dating thing,” he said hesitantly, running a hand through his hair. You noticed he would do that when he was shy or embarrassed, and to you it was the most endearing thing.

“I get it,” you nodded, “so there’s one new rule you need to know about.”

He looked at you questioningly. “What is it?”

“Well, breaking a promise on the first date means you have to come inside and have a coffee with me.”

He suppressed a smile, nodding his head and furrowing his brow. “Ah I see. Well, I would hate to break the rules, so let’s do it.”

When the coffee was done and a lot of heavy looks had been exchanged, but no actual move had been made, Jaehyun got up from the sofa with a sigh.

“Well I guess I’d better go, it’s getting late and the babysitter needs to get home.” Rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, he clearly seemed hesitant to leave, but he knew his responsibilities, something about him you really respected.

“Of course,” you responded, but you didn’t want him to leave either. When he turned his back to you, you had the sudden urge to touch him, just to be close, so you placed your hand gently on his back. At your touch he stopped and turned to you, and before you knew it he was gathering you in his arms, kissing you gently, tentatively, his lips soft and warm against yours. You sighed into his mouth, and that made him grip you tighter, and soon enough the kiss became heated and you had the sudden urge to rip his clothes off. But he eventually pulled away, ever so reluctantly, resting his forehead against yours as he tried to breathe properly again.

“I really have to go,” he said, and before you could pull him back and tempt him some more he walked towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” he winked at you, before pulling your door closed behind him.

---

The next time he asked you out he surprised you by inviting you over to his place, saying he wanted to flex his cooking skills. You asked where Jeffrey would be and he said he’d be staying over at a cousin’s for the weekend, and that gave you an inkling that you’d have more than just dinner in store for you.

You showed up at his door wearing your most killer outfit, and it definitely had that effect, because when he opened his door and took one look at you he looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

“Ms. L/N? Is that you?” his mouth had dropped open, eyes roaming all over your figure hungrily.

“Yes it is, Mr. Jeong. Do you not approve of what I’m wearing?” you asked innocently.

“I believe it violates every article of the dress code,” he said, shaking his head.

“Does that mean I have to take it off?” you asked with a smirk, and that was enough for him. He pulled you inside, slamming the door closed behind you, his hands rough and needy on your body as he pulled you to him.

“A violation like that requires a hands-on punishment,” he growled, in between sucking on your lips and then your neck, “which means I get to take it off you.”

He pulled you towards his bedroom, both of you stumbling over Jeffrey’s toys while he apologized between kisses and you alternated between giggling and moaning as his hands squeezed your ass, and then your breasts.

“Oh, Jaehyun,” you moaned, when he finally got you onto his bed, his body engulfing you as he hiked your skirt up to your hips. He groaned deep in his throat when he found you bare, his hand going straight to your pussy.

“Ms. L/N you are naughtier than I thought,” he said, shaking his head in awe, and you only had a moment to smile devilishly at him before he bent down and sucked your clit into his mouth.

You cried out, your body reacting instantly to the way he was pleasuring you, his eyes dark and hooded as he watched you fall apart. You threaded your fingers into his hair as you felt your orgasm coming on, biting your lip to keep from screaming as he continued to suck harshly, like you were the sweetest lollipop he’d ever tasted. Your orgasm came hot and fast, and instantly he released your abused clit, hastily pulling off his clothes before hovering over you.

You looked up at him, eyes half-lidded, lips flushed and shiny with your juices, his beautifully styled hair now falling messily into his eyes. “Are you going to give me my punishment now, Mr. Jeong?”

He smirked, before he reached down, peeled your dress off of you, slowly. Once it was off he ran his hands all over your body, admiring, watching your reaction as he flicked a nipple, or dipped a finger into your folds. When he had you panting and whining for more, he slid his cock into you, so deep that your back arched off the bed and your fingers dug into his skin.

“Y/N,” he groaned huskily into your ear, losing himself in the feel of you as he drilled you into the mattress, “fuck, you feel so good.”

You couldn’t even respond, every sound stuck in your throat as his cock hit you in just the right spot. You clung to his shoulders, his hips snapping into you so hard you’d be surprised if you didn’t have bruises by morning. The knot in your stomach started to form ridiculously fast, spurred on by the sounds he was making as he fucked you, low, deep, from the base of his throat, the reverberations in his chest going straight to your core.

“Jaehyun, fuck, that feels good, just like that,” you moaned, and your encouragement fueled him, his pace quickening.

“Like that, baby?” he asked, watching as you started to fall apart. He tweaked a nipple, and as your mouth opened to cry out, your orgasm finally hitting you, he crashed his lips against yours, swallowing your cries as you came, your body shuddering, pussy pulsing around his cock.

He released your lips to let you breathe, but he continued pumping into you, pulling you flush against him and pressing sloppy kisses to your neck. His thrusts started to stutter, and with one last deep thrust that took your breath away, he came with a low groan, face buried in your neck.

You were both breathing hard, bathed in sweat, but he still stayed inside you, nuzzling into your neck. You ran your fingers through his hair, and soon enough he pulled back to look at you, his eyes soft.

“I haven’t done that in a long time, so I hope it was okay,” he said sheepishly, a blush creeping up to the tips of his ears.

“Mr. Jeong,” you smiled, continuing to card your fingers through his hair, “I give you an A plus for that.”

#jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #nct imagines #nct smut

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mrsmaybank · 3 years

Text

Honey - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer and the reader were very much in love during Reid’s brief stint in Pasadena. When he has to see her again on a case, he is super nervous.

a/n: first section is inspired by such great heights

C/W: Swearing

PASADENA - 2002

A note from the love of your life is a lovely way to wake up.

------

When you can understand everything but yourself, finding somebody who does is like seeing a comet; disappointingly rare. My shaky hands can only be stilled by the smile of my most incandescent--in every connotation--creature, and that is you. The universe always seems to know what it is doing even if humanity does not. The stars align and move in patterns we as it’s audience do not fully understand. I think we have watched the stars so much the universe has aligned us as a favor to our poor, overestimated souls. I am so grateful! Tolstoy noted that "We are asleep until we fall in love!” And I thank you for waking me up.

However I thought it best the favor not be returned this particular morning. You were up late last night, and looked too cute to disrupt. Do not kill me, I am getting coffee.

I love you and do not leave the bed.

-Spencer

------

Only Spencer Reid would write that on a sticky note, and only for you would he do so.

You heard the rattling of keys and a door being opened and shut as Spencer made his way back to your bedroom. The smile you saw on his face was the start of a story that ended on the upturn of your lips, revealing the two protagonists in a mad frenzy of love. As soon as he reached you, your lips pressed to his in a desperation to be impossibly closer.

“Hi.” he said.

I am thinking it's a sign

That the freckles in our eyes

Are mirror images

And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

“Hey love.” you tucked a loose brown hair back behind his ear for a closer look at the face you adored. “Please get back in bed.”

He sighed but crawled in next to you, big nimble hands making their way across your torso to diminish the space in between you two. You nuzzled into his chest.

“Your note was beautiful.” you whispered into his ear.

A big, goofy grin spread along his face.

“I meant every word.” his voice so sweet, it sounded dipped in honey.

Honey is incredibly sticky.

-----

There had to have been a world where it all worked out.

In this world, my things never got old, and the ice cubes in my coffee never melted. I could listen to that song over and over again without draining the life out of it and I could like my hair style for more than three months.

Spencer had read to me the greatest works of the world. Words of the greatest thinkers, authors, and minds. He had an appreciation for them greater than those of the average passerby and I adored that, because so did I. Truly, our similarities are what connected us. Our minds were correlated perfectly when it came to subjectivity.

In accordance to human nature however, certain matters were never agreed upon. In particular, we argued about the future. The canyon of discrepancy so vast it tore us and our love in two. I didn’t think that was possible.

I wanted to write the book and watch the film as I lived my life and he and his arrogant over-practically thought that impossible. He thought himself an oneirocritic, but my dreams were not looking for critiques.

Like I said, Spencer read to me the greatest works of the world. And years would pass and the heartbreak and sorrow would fade, but I would always find it ironic how the last thing I ever heard in that honey soaked voice was a work of Confucius. “Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”

Spencer chose to go to Washington. He took his heart and a piece of mine with him.

-----

BAU JET - 2011

Seaver must’ve noticed my flinch when the sound of her name resonated through the jet. I’d never liked going to California, but this...this had never happened. “That name mean something to you Reid?” She smiled, “You look kind of horrified.”

I ran my hands through my hair in a futile attempt to ground myself. “No. I just...I used to know her.”

In between the fine lines of love and hate, fell a blurry midsection where feelings came before logic and screams and whispers sounded the same. She ruled over this midsection of chaotic emotional fury.

Morgan spoke, and I quickly realized I might be falling into a conversation I really did not want to be having. “How the hell d’you know her pretty boy?”

There was no point in lying on a plane completely occupied by profilers. My best option was to clumsily dodge any direct questions about just how well I knew her.

“I’m from the West coast.”

“So are over 50 million people. You mean to tell me you know all of them?” he laughed.

“The exact estimation is actually 53,492,270. And no, I’m not saying I know all of them, Morgan. I lived in Pasadena for a year after I graduated from Caltech.”

“Okay?” Morgan questioned my previous statements relevancy.

“She went to USC. We were in the same social circle.”

Morgan laughed again, “You had a social circle?”

Emily, next to us, was presumably combing through her file.

“You, ultimate three doctorate dorky dork, were in the same circle as a film major?” she asked. “

What the hell is ‘doctorate dorky dork’ supposed to mean?

“She double majored actually. Film and political science.”

Emily double checked the file, “And Reid’s right. Per usual.”

“Reid and Prentiss, Y/L/N has agreed to talk to us in her home. She lives in the Hills. When we land, you guys go talk to her.” Hotch stated.

“Why?” I said before I could stop myself. The team sat in confused silence in reaction to my bluntness, but Hotch, like always, was not having it.

“Because we have a serial killer that is reenacting the murders in her movie, Reid.” his tone was stern and swift, with a patronizing sarcasm I supposed I deserved.

“Sorry,” I got out, “I guess I just meant..why me?”

“Well, you know her don’t you?” Rossi asked.

I was not ready to divulge the personal details between me and this girl to my entire team, so I just pursed my lips and nodded.

“Right. Sorry.”

----

Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament. George Santayana. I was in the biggest fucking predicament I’d ever encountered in my life.

Nothing could slow the incessant, double time pounding in my chest. I was showing symptoms of the beginning of a heart attack. Hopefully I would die and never have to face this.

Fuck, don’t think that.

Have the seats in these cars always been this uncomfortable? God, is California always this hot?

I looked at Emily for half a second, and instantly recognized that keeping quiet from her was proving to be dysfunctional. I could feel her eyes burning into my brain with every profiling skill she knew.

“What are you not saying Reid?”

I sighed. “Do I have to tell you?”

“Yeah. Unless you want me to just find out on my own. It’ll be a lot less delicate.”

Here goes nothing.

“I dated her. For two years. I was very much in love with her. It ended....abruptly. I haven’t spoken to her since, and now, nine years later, I am on my way to her house. I might have a heart attack.”

Emily's eyes widened, “Shit..” She laughed a little, “Reunited at last?.”

I answered with a glare. Hard no.

“Fine, sorry.” She said, masking a giggle with a cough.

I shifted in my seat and I could practically see the gears in Emily’s profiler cerebrum spin. She knew exactly the question to ask. “Is it nerves?”

I nodded my head, “I was a very different person back then.”

“Nothing like time and the bureau can change somebody.” she said. “But, hey..”She smiled again and my eyes widened when I realized what I’d revealed. “I asked you if you were nervous. I didn’t-”

“Emily..” I started.

“Are you nervous she won’t like you now? Do you still like her?” her mouth hung open, “Oh my god Reid!”

I shook my head, “No, I don’t still like her! I don’t even know her anymore! I just..I’d never loved somebody the way I loved her.”

Emily had figured me out at the same time I had. “And you still haven’t.”

Fuck.

“Correct.”

The car pulled into her driveway, and conversations from all those years ago started to replay in my head.

“When we get a house, can we paint our front door bright blue?”

“I want a lemon tree in the front yard.”

“Windows. Huge windows. It’s a must.”

All these things I’d promised her in our future home she’d gotten for herself. Good.

Fontaine said “Sadness flies away on the wings of time”, but the pain I felt from the loss of her was as prominent as ever.

Here goes nothing.

---

Thank you for reading!

a/n2 : this is completely unedited so if its sucks dick i am sorry :/ i just wanted to post it lol

A/n 3: the typos oh my fuck. I wanna Kick myself for letting this cute fic be up in that state for so long. Anyway, fixed! :)

#spencer reid #drspencerreid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid reader insert #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you

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