still one of my favorite bits i ever got to commit was pretending not to know who jesus is when a street preacher was evangelizing to me. he was like "do you know who jesus is?" and i had so much time before my next bus and i wanted to know what would happen so i said no. and you know what. he had clearly never been told no to that question before because if i hadn't actually known who jesus was, his baffled and fumbling attempt sure wouldn't have told me. literally reversed the roles. now you get to stand here feeling very uncomfortable and wishing you could be somewhere else because guess what buddy, this is my bus stop, im early (and can catch like five other buses from this exact stop), and im now thoroughly invested in hearing about this mysterious jesus figure. you're locked in here with me. im eating the key as we speak. i will kill us both before i let you out of here.
very highly recommend this bit if you can pull it off and if you have time to kill
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"descended into madness" um actually i climbed here? yeah it was a pretty steep journey. yeah the air's pretty thin up here. i think im getting altitude sickness. pretty dizzy actually
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*carefully picks you up and peeks into your conch snail shell*
Ehm... Sorry to bother, but... Could we, maybe, possibly... see Vasco's wife and her lover pictured by your hand? Sorry again, thank you for listening. Take care.
*delicately lays you back into the water to prevent any stress or dehydration*
Unfortunately I don't have her lover figured out yet, but I think Ludovica looks something like this:
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uh, okay. i'm very scared to ask but : rabbit that's not really a rabbit...?
yeah, there's, like. a small god, shaped like a rabbit, that lives in my yard. I would say it's a normal rabbit except it's not. It won't move from my driveway if I'm trying to drive out and it was there first. I can walk up within a few feet of it, and it will turn and just look at me like what do you want? It's the only rabbit that freaks the hell out of all my birds, they CANNOT be directed or communicated with when this rabbit comes around, they will do nothing but stand on alert and stare at it making a soft warning call. I've caught it SEVERAL times now standing nose to nose with one of my peacocks, and it just looks at me and walks away when I catch them. hawks and falcons and eagles and owls constantly pass over my yard, and it is full of rabbits that do not hide from them, and I've never seen evidence of one being taken. You know the moment you walk into a very dark room and maybe it's a room you've been in before and maybe you don't believe in ghosts, but also it's still dark and your little leftover lizard hindbrain goes "anything could be inside of here waiting for me" the second before you turn on the light? It's like that feeling, except in the shape of a rabbit. i didn't ask for any of that.
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new fav ship prospect is buddy and fabian. imagine growing up intensely religious and conservative and not only do you end up with rich asshole bisexual disaster boyfriend but he sincerely suggests you meet his godless hellish pirate devil prince father. there’s something very charming in all that.
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in the s1 finale, arthur asks: "are you ever going to change, Merlin?"
and then in the s5 finale, arthur tells merlin: "i don't want you to change. i want you to always be you."
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