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hdrygdhbuu · 2 months

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Hello, I’ve read a few small stories from Dir en grey’s meet&greet and experience from the concerts in general aaannddd I also decided to share mine from m&g 19.03 in Warsaw… Maybe just mainly for archival purposes, but anyway… it was quite interesting.

Since It was my very first concert in my whole life (but what is most important Dir en grey concert😭) and I was sosososo hella nervous – on top of all I came completely alone into the dark unknown! The first show of my favourite band. The first meet&greet with precious and talented band members on their first tour destination. I thought I could have died before start of the show.

Beforehand I’ve read some different experiences from m&g – there were really a few, really – it was said that people with VIP queued in front of the venue doors and were entering one by another to meet the members(¿). (Actually I have no clue, because I didn’t happen to enter among all the people… You’re allowed to read to know then lol) When I had come on the floor I saw two queues actually. One to the m&g and another to the merch booth. But as I said, It was my first life experience so I immediately got super confused and didn’t know where to go… Two long queues, a lot of people, I couldn’t understand which one is which… Anyway I stayed at the end of the merch queue (😭) and managed to buy some things almost THE LAST ONE. I mean, there still was a couple of girls near the stand, but… the cashier was very nice, (he let me pull out of the bag some secret postcard&stickers on my own lol) when he said «there is a meeting with a band, so you should hurry» and pointed at the entrance doors. I looked and realised there was no one around, like, really, empty corridor… Obviously I got scared (even more scared than I’ve been all this day) and rushed there immediately, almost running – actually it was just “fast-walking”. I didn’t know the place, what is where, and at that moment I didn’t even know where is the venue and where I entered… I jumped up to the venue with dizzy head, completely at a loss, greatly confused (I’m sorry, but that cashier really made me worry and hurry with those words😭) and first I couldn’t even recognize the place. All happened so suddenly: I saw them. But the first gaze was so quick, really, I only managed to catch the smiley glance from Toshiya first! Probably all of them were so confused of the chaotic way I entered 😭 (I even thought Toshiya was internally laughing at me, but i guess I was simply delusional.) The staff stopped me with "wait" or something, and – oh what a shame… – at that exact moment I suddenly/quickly turned around at my speed (but it wasn’t so fast fr) and stepped back as almost i was about to leave at every moment 😰 There were no fans nearby… before or after me… and we just stayed like that, so so embarrassing… Me, being afraid even just of looking at them, because I knew, I felt they were staring at me… Maybe i got affected by this “wait” from the staff and actually lost all remains of courage, waiting, waiting for the right signal😭 I met eyes with that woman from the staff, she was staring at me and i was looking at her like “what should i do, when am i allowed to step forward😰” Jeez i really felt so many eyes on me, as it was a long moment and i got lost…

But when i raised my sight, i couldn’t bear but just notice Toshiya’s smile 😭 (him being that tall after all) You know, it was just impossible not to catch it. He was staring so brightly, with the kindest and the most loving smile on his face😭 This smile could physically warm a body and hearts, full of gratefulness, love and respect. Since I’m quite young (i’m 20 actually… but the fact that I admit that I look much younger) for a moment i realised – i’m sure – it was a smile of a loving parent/senpai looking at the child/kohai 😭 Just… can’t describe this wholesome feeling, that he created inside of me with this looking&smile. He didn’t cut off his glance even when we actually met our eyes… i mean, i immediately got shyshyshyshy, i couldn’t withstand it and looked away😭 it was just too much😭🤚🏻

Then i noticed Kaoru looking straight and handing his postcard to me, encouraging me to come closer, and so that was the sign when i managed to finally move my trembling body. (The possibility that they might have been waiting for me just flutters all my insides and kills me!) So, then.. everything happened quite quickly, i was collapsed by shock, embarrassment and happiness at the same time, to the point I almost teared up. I bowed at each of them, saying quietly arigatogozaimassss as they were handing me signed postcards. I couldn’t even make myself to raise my head and look at them… Toshiya was the last one in a row, and when i stood in front of him the actual height difference hit me and got me on knees (and that’s the second reason i couldn’t get myself to look up – it would be physically uncomfortable lol i guess) I mean… this man is really tall, I faced his chest at the level of my nose for real, so yeah (I’m 160cm). He was the one who thanked me in response – well, maybe i was just too dumb and rushed too much idk – and that was so cute of him! Really, he seemed to be the nicest at the m&g, he really does care about fans, he really is glad and happy to meet fans😭 and he obviously showed his appreciation of all its power/extent. The one meeting broke my heart.

Of course after this i rushed to the rest of people near the stage (luckily i was in a second row right before Toshiya!) And then they left the place almost right away… I mean, after all maybe i really was the last one??? And what if they were waiting for me?? (It kills me ugh) Idk… I was sure there were some more girls at the merch booth before….

Anyway, talking about my very first show impression, i was sincerely amazed by this little pleasing discovery of my own – all of them actually were looking at fans during the show! Like straight in the eyes. Catching our glances. Sustaining this eye contact again and again. It felt like a dream, it felt like we and them actually connected on some kind of inner basis/level… I’m sure I even crossed some glances with Toshiya and Kaoru 😭 I didn’t expect it so, again, i felt kinda embarrassed, but super crazy! That was so much fun! Really, I will never forget those nights… And now, every time reminding it – all of them, the performance, their movements and emotions, that charming smile of Toshiya – I can’t help but melt into a divine smile…

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart💔 And thank you too who has read this unexpectedly long message 😭🤲🏻 And sorry for any mistakes..

P.S. I also wouldn’t mind if anyone who has read it, would like to share their experience too🤲🏻 Really, just kinda curious… and after all i don’t have friends who i can talk about diru with sooooooo feel free to share🙌🏻🌷

#dir en grey #meet & greet #warsaw #19.03.24 #europe tour #europe tour24 #europe #toshiya #kaoru #my experience #for archive

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snowfll · 4 months

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Then could I req a Lamina x capitol mentor reader fic where Reader is mentoring Lamina and after she wins she meets up with Reader again before she leaves. Lamina breaks down in readers arms from the guilt and etc with reader just comforting her (need some good hurt/comfort in my life rn) Thank you so much and take care! Feel free to take your time! - N

Promise?; Lamina

pairing - Lamina x Mentor!reader summary - Winning the 10th annual hunger games was not an easy task for Lamina, but you were there by her side through it all. Now, she had to go home—what is she going to do without you? words - 2.63 k warning- fluff! none! note - omg I'm actually in love with this, thank you so much for requesting it! It took longer to write than I expected, so I made it a little longer to make up for the wait! I hope you like, and please request more for Lamina—I'm so in love with her.

The news of becoming a mentor for the tenth annual Hunger Games struck you with a mix of frustration and resentment. The idea of relying on someone from the districts to secure your future in the Capitol was a bitter pill to swallow. The prize money, your lifeline for advancement, now hinges on the performance of a tribute.

Navigating the elite world of the Capitol Academy as a student from a less privileged background presented its own set of challenges. How you were accepted into the academy in the first place was a mystery in itself. Nonetheless, you were grateful for the opportunity you were given.

Your peers labeled you as ‘the quiet girl’ originating from your passion to read, in stark contrast to those who reveled in the social scene. The lack of wealth and connections meant you were an outsider, perceived as a freak in the prestigious academy.

Your peer’s disinterest in associating with you was mutual, creating an unspoken understanding of separation. While they indulged in weekend partying, you found comfort in the pages of books.

Despite the social divide, your academic expertise demanded recognition. Being one of the top students forced your peers to acknowledge your presence, meaning they had to tolerate you, and you had to tolerate them.

As the reaping day unfolded, the air hung heavy with anticipation. The news of a difference in this year's Plinth Prize reached you beforehand, a piece of information that carried weight beyond the customary tributes’ selection.

Sejanus Plinth, the one person who genuinely liked you, became a crucial ally in navigating the intricacies of the Capitol. Bonding over shared backgrounds that Capitol elites despised, your connection with Sejanus transcended the superficial norms of the academy. In a world where trust was a rare find, the two of you became close, sharing your hopes and fears.

Sejanus’s decision to disclose the altered details spoke volumes about the depth of your friendship. He recognized your deserving nature and understood the potential setback this change could inflict on your aspirations. Leaving you in the dust was not an option for him.

Before Dean Highbottom assigned the tributes to everyone, you told yourself you wouldn’t help whoever you got—they were district after all, and they certainly weren’t worthy of your assistance. The most you would do was introduce yourself and help whenever there were cameras on you. It’s what your fellow peers said they were going to do, so it must have been the correct way to go about being a mentor.

However, the moment you saw Lamina on the screen, your entire world flipped. Her tear-streaked face and heavy breathing elicited an unexpected wave of pity. In that moment, the stark contrast between her vulnerability and the impending games overwhelmed you.

The realization struck—Lamina, in your eyes, didn’t deserve the grim fate that awaited her. It became evident that, compared to her district partner, Lamina seemed unprepared and unfit for the brutal challenges that lay ahead.

Lamina looked to be around the age of sixteen or seventeen, only a year or two younger than you. You didn’t want to help her—you told yourself you wouldn’t. As you sat contemplating in the aftermath of the reaping, thoughts swirled about how you could protect Lamina in the arena. Perhaps, against all your odds, your guidance could be the key to helping Lamina navigate the perilous games and emerge alive.

In the hushed days following the reaping, a quiet anticipation enveloped you. The impending arrival of the tributes heightened the tension. During the limited time since Lamina became your responsibility, you delved into research and strategized different ways to keep her alive.

You weren’t excited about the games, not one bit, but you wanted to do anything in your power to help her. Unbeknownst to yourself, genuine care for her well-being had taken root, eclipsing the initial distant image you projected.

As soon as you heard the news of the tributes being held at the Capitol Zoo, you rushed out of class. Coriolanus had already met his tribute, having leapt into the van upon their arrival. It was only fair that you were able to visit your tribute as well.

Walking out of the classroom without a care in the world, you made your way to the home of the tributes. Dean Highbottom’s stern voice echoed after you, demanding your return to the classroom. Ignoring his calls, you pressed on towards the zoo with the determination to meet Lamina.

Arriving at the Capitol Zoo, you found Lamina sitting amidst the rocky surroundings, her spirit somehow untouched by the harshness that surrounded her. Despite the misery etched on her face, there was a quiet grace and a fragile beauty that persisted through the pain and suffering.

As you approached the caged area, Lamina looked up, her curious eyes meeting yours. Her tear-streaked face seemed to soften in response to your arrival; a subtle smile graced her lips—you couldn’t help but smile seeing the girl in a happier mood. The quiet grace she emanated amidst the harsh environment hinted at a resilience that intrigued you. How could one look so elegant while being held in a zoo enclosure?

“Lamina?” you began cautiously. She stood up, approaching you with a lingering smile. Her district partner accompanied her, pulling her back while sharing hushed words in her ear. He cast a protective glance your way as Lamina whispered back, loud enough for you to hear. “It’s okay, Treech. She seems friendly.”

You offered a small, reassuring smile to both of them, attempting to convey trustworthiness. Lamina, her eyes reflecting a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty, broke the brief silence, asking, “Are you my mentor?”

You nodded, affirming her question. “Yes, I’m going to help you in any way I can," you assured, hoping to instill a sense of comfort in the midst of the uncertainty that lay ahead.

“Promise?” Lamina asked, her gaze filled with hope as she searched for reassurance.

You met her eyes with sincerity; the weight of the promise was reflected in your response. “I promise, Lamina. I will get you out of this.”

Throughout her time in the Capitol, you found yourself making frequent visits to Lamina. There was no specific reason or agenda—your visits were driven solely by the desire to be in her presence. Though many mentors faked their appearance with their tributes, your intentions were clear; you wanted to offer comfort and support during the challenging moments she faced.

As the day in the arena unfolded, you discovered the depth of your feelings for Lamina. Watching as Treech, her district partner, left her on her own so he could join Coral’s pack, a surge of emotions welled up within you.

As Lamina looked heartbroken in the aftermath of Treech’s departure, a strong desire to cheer her up consumed you. The genuine care you felt for her welled up, surpassing the boundaries of a mentorship.

Unable to stand idly by, you pulled Lamina into your body, embracing her in a reassuring hug. “You’ll be okay, Lamina,” you whispered in her ear. “You don’t need him. You are strong on your own, and I’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe in the arena.”

Lamina, though initially surprised, gradually eased into the embrace. “Thank you,” she said, her voice carrying a mix of gratitude and vulnerability.

A few minutes later, a deafening explosion echoed through the arena, accompanied by screams that sent shivers down your spine. In an instant, instinct kicked in, and your first thought was to shield Lamina from the impending danger.

Without a second thought, you covered her with your own body; any concern for your own safety was overcome with a protective instinct. The echoes of chaos surrounded you as the bomb wreaked havoc, but in the moment, your sole focus was on keeping Lamina safe.

Amidst the falling debris, Lamina’s voice quivered. “What’s happening?”

“Keep your head low,” you urged, your own voice steady despite the turmoil. “We’ll be okay. Just stay close, Lamina.”

As you brought Lamina closer to the entrance, she clung onto you, fear and reluctance present in her eyes. She didn’t want to leave your side, finding a sense of security in your presence amidst the chaos. However, as you moved, two peacekeepers approached, their authoritative presence demanding compliance.

Lamina tightened her grip, and you tried to reassure her, “It’ll be okay, Lamina. I’ll meet you straight away; just let them get you to safety.” Despite your attempt to ease her worries, the peacekeepers intervened, firmly grabbing her. Lamina, reluctant to be separated, cast a desperate look back at you, silently pleading for you to stay with her.

After the tumultuous events in the arena, you found solace in spending every moment of the day with Lamina. Your connection had deepened, transcending the confines of mentorship. In the aftermath of the chaos, your presence became a source of comfort for her, and you, too, found a sense of purpose in being by her side.

Whether it was strategizing for the challenge ahead, offering words of encouragement, or simply sharing quiet moments, the atmosphere shift was clear as day, the tension of the arena replaced by moments of connection. As you exchanged playful banter, the laughter flowed effortlessly.

“You know, I think you might be the best thing that happened to me.” As you teased Lamina, a playful glint in your eyes, you continued, “In a place like this, finding something good is like stumbling upon a rare gem. And I have to say, you’re my gem, Lamina.”

She chuckled softly, a blush tinting her cheeks. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”

You smiled, the sincerity in your gaze matching the warmth in your words. “We might be the first pair to turn the Capitol’s Hunger Games into a love story.”

“Well, isn’t that a plot twist?” She responded, her eyes meeting yours with a smirk on her face.

As the banter continued, a subtle shift occurred. The teasing smiles transformed into something deeper—an unspoken connection sparking between you. Lamina, with a hint of vulnerability, admitted, “When my name was reaped, I never expected to find something like this.”

You leaned in, the distance between you shrinking as you whispered, “Sometimes, unexpected things are the best things.” The words lingered in the air, your eyes glancing down at her lips before making their way back to meet her eyes.

In the charged atmosphere, Lamina closed the gap, her lips meeting yours through the bars of the enclosure. The kiss went on longer than expected, and you smiled into it, realizing neither one of you was willing to let go first.

When you finally pulled apart, the smiles remained, and your forehead naturally rested against Lamina’s. The unspoken emotions hung in the air, a promise of companionship and shared determination.

“Now, there’s no chance I’m letting you die in that arena,” you declared, the gravity of the statement stained with a newfound depth of connection between you and Lamina.

In the face of the challenges and dangers within the arena, you remained true to your promise. You didn't let Lamina face the grim fate that awaited her. Through strategic planning, shared determination, and unwavering support, you guided her to victory.

As the final moments unfolded and Lamina emerged as the victor, a sense of relief and accomplishment swept over both of you. For you, it wasn’t the Plinth Prize that made you so cheery—in fact, you forgot about the award. You simply needed her alive; her survival was enough for you.

As Lamina prepared to return home, there was an assortment of emotions—relief, gratitude, and a subtle touch of unworthiness. As you sat together, there was a shared understanding that transcended words. The bond formed within the games had become a defining chapter in both of your lives.

You held each other’s gaze, silent acknowledgment passing between you. In that quiet moment, you watched as Lamina struggled with her feelings. Her face wore a sad expression, and you couldn’t help but share in her sorrow. Despite the triumph of winning and surviving the Hunger Games, there was a weight on Lamina’s shoulders that overshadowed the expected joy.

“Hey,” you spoke gently, breaking the silence between you and Lamina. “What’s wrong, honey?” The concern in your voice mirrored the empathy in your eyes as you observed the gloom etched on her face.

Lamina hesitated for a moment, her eyes meeting yours, before she finally sighed. “I should be happy, right? I won. I survived, but..." Her voice trailed off, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on hers. “Surviving the games doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?” The sincerity in your question enticed her to share the burden of emotions that seemed to weigh on her.

She hesitated before opening up even more. “I don’t deserve this—to have won, to live while the others are gone.” She paused, taking a breath, allowing her to continue her rant. “Treech, he did what he needed to do to survive—leaving me was good on his part, and he still didn’t make it. Why was I the one to make it out alive? It doesn’t make any sense.”

You squeezed her hand gently, offering a reassuring smile. “Winning is a tremendous accomplishment, but it doesn’t erase the challenges or the pain. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions, Lamina.”

Lamina went on to go into detail about the events that occurred in the arena—especially the ones you didn’t witness. How she had to kill multiple tributes to ensure her safety. How after the first few kills, she felt like she couldn’t stop.

“I’m so scared of losing all control, like I did in the arena." She told you through sobs, the fear of losing control, of becoming someone unrecognizable, was etched in her eyes.

You listened empathetically, recognizing the weight of the survivor’s guilt that burdened her. The aftermath of the Hunger Games had left her grappling with the harsh reality of loss and the difficult choices made for survival.

“What happened doesn’t define you," you assured her. “You were thrust into an unimaginable situation, forced to make choices for survival. It’s natural to feel scared, but remember, you’re not alone. I may not be with you in the districts, but I will always be there for you in spirit.”

As your words sank in, Lamina’s tears flowed even more freely. Through her tears, she choked out, “What am I gonna do without you near me?”

You reached out to gently wipe her tears away, your own eyes reflecting the pain of the impending separation. “Lamina, you are stronger than you think. You’ve already faced the worst. I will visit as much as the Capitol allows me; this isn’t goodbye,” you reassured her, your voice carrying a mixture of determination and comfort.

“Promise?”

“I promise. You can’t get rid of me that easily, honey.”

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sepublic · 1 year

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Anyhow, I want people to understand the significance of me crying over TOH ending because. I generally do not cry. It’s hard for me to cry, I feel sadness and grief sure! But tears themselves are difficult. And as much as I love media, it’s very rare and hard for it to make me genuinely cry. Other cartoons and shows I’ve gotten into haven’t done it, but...

The Owl House genuinely made me cry. After the grief of Agony of a Witch, the lonely despair of King’s Tide, and so many other painful moments. The Owl House finally made me sob, genuinely, wails I had to cover up, hot tears, sore eyes and a dripping nose. I heaved and made myself cry even more, because goddamn is there such a relief in the catharsis of feeling this pain, and knowing it means you’ve felt something, you’ve felt happiness to begin with.

So yeah. The Owl House has always been pretty special to me. But I think this expression of how I felt was low key what I was waiting for, working towards, after the finale. The absence hurts, but it makes me appreciate all the more the presence it entails for TOH in my life. For the community, for the experiences, the analyses, the genuine fun and laughter and speculation! The hype and friends I’ve made along the way, me building up my own skills as a reader thanks to this show!

I remember being enamored by The Owl House’s first announcement in February 2018, the first ever, possible public reveal of that show; You could’ve only known it beforehand if you worked at Disney and/or were one of Dana’s friends. Something about Luz, about Eda, about King... The very premise itself, the magic. Something about this show felt special to me, I had a really good feeling about it I couldn’t explain.

I ended up checking Dana’s Twitter obsessively for updates, was excited when she posted this one art of Luz and King having an ice cream run, while Eda was displeased with a little demon trying to get her dessert. I expected mostly casual things, but something about the vibes, the magic and wonder experienced through the lens of Luz... It got to me in a legitimately depressive state of my life.

Because I was depressed. Suicidal, even. It was perhaps the worst phase of my life ever, and I hope it’ll stay that way. The beginning of 2018 felt like me finally getting over the big hurdle, that enormous halfway point at the top, and how it was all relatively smooth, downhill sailing from here. So it feels fitting that it was the beginning of the easier part that TOH was announced for me. All I knew were Luz, Eda, and King; I eventually gave up checking Dana’s accounts for art, because I was SO excited and impatient for this show, inexplicably.

That’s probably why I missed Dana’s little sneak peek of Amity Blight, haha... But anyhow, TOH gave me something to look forward to. Something to live for. And when I finally got a shot of Eda throwing treats to Luz and King, the former taken aback by the eyeball, the latter having it bounce off his skull. It didn’t make it to the final cut obviously, but it was my first glimpse of how the show itself would look.

I was in despair when The Owl House was delayed to 2020; I had to wait another whole year for it! And going from 2018 to 2019 was painful enough as is! But man... Was it worth it. The first teaser, the mystery and wonder it promised. My Bionicle brain freaking out over the reveal of the Boiling Isles as a giant corpse.

And then the theme song. Me learning Luz’s VA, scouring very obscure media to get an idea of how she might sound like. And finally I heard it, we got other announcements; Eda by Wendie Malick, who made perfect sense, and King by Alex Hirsch, cue those obnoxious Bill Cipher theories I still hate to this day!

Some crew members announced cupcakes they made, complete with banners like “Drinkers Coven” and I got hyped for this little content. I wanted to try cashew meringues because of it, and later recognized the repurposed frames of Luz, Eda, and King in actual episodes. I saw some concept art and expressions removed from the show, and was glad to recognize them later, as I did a frame-in-process of Luz wondering about her magical destiny.

I checked Tumblr but it seemed like I was the only person actively anticipating, and not just including TOH as part of a larger collection of media posts. I wanted TOH for itself, someone was curious if it had owls, I scoured the first teaser for a screenshot to satisfy them! I wanted more people in on it! I saw some clips, figured out Luz’s ethnicity from her squealing “Ay que lindo!” in response to King.

I made a few ancient posts, my first TOH post was me admitting I was excited and wondering if anyone else was. It got NO traction, at least not until much, much later... But that didn’t stop me! I had a dream where Luz was revealed to be disabled, her legs were prosthetics and Eda ended up giving her new magic prosthetics styled after owl feet. This would prove weirdly prophetic... Less so, my dream about Luz being the Anti-Christ (this was framed as a good thing), hence why she found the isles.

I speculated Luz was an orphan who had nobody, hence why she found the isles; But then an article mentioned her mother Camila. I went with that spelling until some end credits confused me with a typo that gave us Camilia, which led to a big fandom debate later until Dana clarified.

I analyzed the trailers, trying to figure out the plot and trajectory, wasn’t quite right there. I was happy to see TOH would have full 22-minute episodes, allowing them to get nitty gritty and elaborated, instead of truncated into 11-minute segments. Boy did that pay off, and looking back I can appreciate what a rarity that was, an achievement. People pointed out the anagram for me...

I speculated on the titles, confused bits from Covention with scenes from the first episode, wondered if Escape of the Palisman referred to the tower. And in the end, the first episode finally came out, after I was enjoying Infinity Train Book 2, and I was enamored. It was wonderful, it utterly blew me away and was all I wanted and more. I had to get more! The moment Luz spoke of liking editing anime clips into AMVs and all that other stuff, I felt seen, and that was just the beginning.

I spoke my praises, but alas there was no fandom. The next week, I was surprised to find posts for the next episodes so early, and learned the episode was released ahead of time on DisneyNOW, so I immediately subscribed. I was excited to meet Amity Blight, Willow and Gus; And I was caught by surprise by how openly mean Amity was when she debuted! But I analyzed the sub-text of her actions and dialogue, and was vindicated.

Amity was such a fun and interesting character because she really felt like a puzzle that we unlocked more and more pieces of, to better understand her. And I really got the sense of TOH’s re-contextualization and surprising character continuity, such as when King’s B-plot in one episode actually became the focus of the very next! You could tell the writers really cared about making a deeper story for kids and teenagers.

One nice memory was when I wrote a post appreciating Willow and Luz’s friendship, the idea of Willuz as a ship; I took a shower and went back to check afterwards, and got notes! I analyzed the mechanics of glyphs deeply when they were first revealed, getting nitty-gritty; I remember the events of a few nights and what happened around me writing a post, comparing glyph magic to artificial replication of dragon breath!

I looked for crew art, which alerted me ahead of time to the existence of Emira and Edric, thought I didn’t know their names, and was delighted to learn Amity had older siblings!!! They were hers! Shoutout to @anistarrose who was one of the few people in the tag at this time. I really appreciate that post where you called out people constantly trying to make King into Bill Cipher in a serious manner, and the annoying implications of it. And how you realized a tweet poem by Dana foreshadowed Warden Wrath and the Emperor’s Coven... AND THE CODES TOO!!!

I distinctly remember this one meme video in the tags, a song singing “This girl is a lesbian” as Amity showed up as the punchline. I thought it was cute and loved the idea, I had no clue...! I even tried to analyze the dates on her diary entries because I was so obsessed with the show and wanted more, trying to see if I could figure out a calendar...

Spoiler alert, I didn’t. but it was FUN trying! Putting in all of this unnecessary effort for a detail nobody cared much for, because you could tell the crew were people who did the same, Dana even confirmed it later for herself! I remember being shocked about Eda having a curse, that one theory it was a Blight who did it. I suggested King being the Boiling Isles Titan, some Youtube channel even asked permission to use my post in discussing that theory! I was skeptical but checked and it was legit, and was pleased.

I went through that godforsaken Witch’s Apprentice game, realized too late the artifacts represented each episode and gave hints to the rest of 1A. I watched Look Hoo’s Talking, with Owlyvia and Horus, shout out to those who remember! I was amazed by Eda’s self-awareness in deciding things for Luz, especially after Luz briefly called it out in Covention. I found myself so ATTACHED to the characters, which makes sense since I hyped myself from the start!

I remember being surprised to see King wasn’t an overlord... Or was he? The original 2018 announcement suggested as such, but the way the show played around even after the premiere seemingly disproved it was fun. I speculated on what Luz’s magic track would be, enjoyed fanart of her in Potions as Eda was. Seeing Young Eda was a blast, and I remember being so distraught at the idea of her being cursed! I made a post wailing about it and Cat-Harman Mitchell commented LOL as I ranted about taking vengeance on the curser. Little did I know...!

I was afraid of a cliffhanger with Season 1A, but nope! Eda made it out despite the demon hunters! With a hiatus, I was left impatient and needing more. I scoured crew art, speculated on what Emperor Bellows would be like; Covention’s subtitles mispelled him as such, and Dana had to clarify in a tweet when 1B’s trailer released! I got into deep discussion with @fermented-writers-block about the show, about the mysterious owl mural.

I guess TOH was my first start at really analyzing a show from the start, especially since nobody else was around to do it for me. And coming fresh from reading the meta of those who did inspire me, I went HARD, reasoning that even if it was disproven, the process was fun! I analyzed snake motifs, the mysterious green hand that stole King’s crown. I made a whole diagram about parallels between Luz, between King and the Gildersnake, between ‘human counterparts’ to Amity and Willow and Gus. This definitely fed the revelation of Creepy Luz later on...

But yeah. To think the snakes did pay off with Luz’s palisman Stringbean; Back then people speculated as such with the title’s design, and I’m so happy to see it came through! I speculated on lore, wrote my first TOH fics, The Bile Coven and Amity’s Diary Entries, the latter of which I feel particular pride for since it was a character study of her that proved rather on the spot!

I was obsessed with the worldbuilding, came up with my own ideas. Imagined what Bellows and Kikimora were like. I waited IMPATIENTLY, and even had a dream where Eda was captured by Lilith, Kikimora, and Wrath, as well as some covenscouts... But then it was revealed her curse was a result of possession by the creature depicted on the mural; And it progressed to the next stage of converting her body to its own as she got more feral and escaped on her own!

The airship used by the Emperor’s Coven proved prophetic. And after 1B seemingly disproved this idea, 2A brought it back after all and I was delighted! TOH was and is a show that keeps giving for me, makes me feel rewarded for engaging with it, and is grateful even when I’m wrong, as Any Sport in a Storm’s B-plot attests. I made jokes about King being Mata Nui because I was a Bionicle fan. Someone saw a Grom poster in the background of a shot and suggested Lumity, but I didn’t get my hopes up... Hah.

There was a trailer that alluded to an episode of Luz and Eda in a snowy place; I knew of an article on TOH that mentioned a ‘Witch’s Arena’ at the Knee and guessed this was it. I liked the song that played because I associated it with TOH, found out for myself.

Rebecca Rose, shout out to one of the OGs talking about the show on Youtube! She made a wonderful video discussing Amity’s development and potential, speculating on her, and I felt SOOOO vindicated and followed her for it! As you know, she became THE fan channel for TOH, and was eventually ascended to a full-on crew member for it. We’d all watch her reactions and discussions afterwards.

Adventures in the Elements leaked, I correctly guessed it wasn’t the next episode but the one after it. I was delighted to see the twins be good siblings, and Amity’s casual outfit... Before that, I read a fic during the hiatus of Lilith adopting Amity from abuse (Remember when we thought she was that functional?), and it understandably depicted the twins as mean-spirited and basically apathetic. It was a good fic.

I remember joke-speculating that Bellows would be short, because I was projecting analyses of the Pale King from Hollow Knight onto him! I considered making an animatic of Farquaad’s reveal from Shrek but with Bellows, but alas I’d never actually done an animatic and had zero clue lol. I had another dream about Bellows coming in with the Emperor’s Coven to apprehend Eda, who became an even larger version of her Owl Beast form in response.

Then Summer 2020 came around. What a wonderful time of my life... New fans came in when they saw the possibility of canon sapphics with Lumity, and I was exhilarated! So careful not to get my hopes up, but look now... I was hyped to see Belos’ appearance. I analyzed the 1B trailer, took screenshots and organized them to guess which episodes they were. Rebecca Rose found foreign titles of 1B and translated them, and I did note how translations could skew the intended anagram. I remember “Mini-Problems” being an episode title...

You can probably guess the rest from here, since this was about when the fandom really kicked off. And boy did people stick around for it all. I felt delight in knowing Grom was sooner, due to Understanding Willow being paired with Really Small Problems on the same day! Two episodes at once, instead of the original plan for the last two episodes of the season together! I ended up regretting that low-key with the angst and pain of Agony of a Witch, which made me realize how much I cared for Luz, Eda, and King, and made me the closest to crying from the show.

I felt vindicated to see a popular artist like MoringMark begin making fan comics, I had no idea that’d be THE thing he’d be known for, after I knew him as the Gravity Falls guy. I followed Matthieu Cousin on Tumblr, got excited for that trend of dressing up TOH characters for Grom and sending in your designs, with a winner announced! I don’t think that ever happened. Anamanaguchi’s Prom Night became a thing thanks to a crew member, and who can forget Little Miss Perfect? Kwame rolled with the success and I was glad for him. Eda’s gray eye appearing after the season finale in the end credits shocked me.

There was the Reddit AMA, where I prepared lore questions afterwards and had none of mine answered, but we learned a good deal! Especially the telling “Clawthornes are a bird motif” from Dana, her being put into a headlock by a nun. Amity and Lilith weren’t close but as I mentioned a while back, Dana expressed that she also made connections with cartoons as a kid. Odalia liking her kids color-coded, hence Amity’s hair, and Alador being interesting. Which led to a bunch of fanart that proved off the mark but also not? Alador wasn’t THAT well-put but otherwise...

And that stream! That wonderful stream! I contemplated spending so much money via donation to get something. Eda drinking Apple Blood, Spencer Wan almost spoiling Lilith having a Raven form. Our first sneak peek at Hunter’s face, not counting his appearance as the Golden Guard in S1; We all guessed he and the Golden Guard, or “Owl Mask” were the same. I was stumped and baffled how he fit into Belos’ dynamic... Hoo boy. And we all thought Hunter was an adult, even Alador at first, because of those eye bags!

I wanted to see the coven heads, based on their banners we saw; I liked the Potion Head especially and even when his design proved different than I expected, it was still my favorite! I thought Darius might be a Blight grandfather and he DID have a connection... I had a dream of the twins working for Osran at a library and messing with him, recognized Mason from Covention, and dreamed Terra was named Botanica.

Christmas art of the cast came out, I was happy to see Emira and Edric happy there, after being saddened by Dana’s Grom art of them and even writing a whole fic about it, which I’m chuffed about! She also drew Mattholomule... I recall in the wait for Season 1B, she did some art of the characters. Gus playing games, Mattholomule losing to him; King despairing over stubby thumbs.

Fanart of the kids in quarantine, Amity declaring it’d be easy to stay away from Luz, to Luz’s sadness; Boscha being mad because she couldn’t talk to her friends. Remember when Boschlow was a big thing, until Understanding Willow killed off some of the hype? And confirmation that Willow worked out, which we saw come to fruition in Season 2; People were surprised but I wasn’t! And of course, Frewin being his own entity from Bump, and not Bump himself.

But back to chronology, I guess this is where I should end off. Sorry, this ended up being MUCH longer than I intended, and really you could write a book about my experience with TOH and the journey on a meta level. But those were interesting times, those beginning eras. Back when I didn’t feel the need to always add screenshots to posts unless necessary. And it’s making me nostalgic. It’s making me appreciate everything we’ve been through, the roots of my hyperfixation. And how it all led to me finally crying, because I really did build up THAT much of a love for the show.

I found my first fandom I really felt a part of, found so many people who enjoyed my meta and validated me for it! I feel I’ve grown so much as a person because of TOH. And as I nostalgically reminisce on how different the show was then, I appreciate all the more how far we’ve come, and what it is now. Snapping back to the present does make me sad over how much has passed and changed, but I also appreciate it while remembering the ideas I once had.

I’ll miss that era, and TOH as a whole. And boy do I associate that classic ending theme, how I loved the melancholy of those end credits, speculated on them paying off in the finale. And they did...! It feels good to hear it one last time after a year without it, due to the end credits being removed or redone. There was something so idyllic and dreamlike about that original sequence, capturing the feeling of coming home, and I’m glad TOH did that once more with it.

#the owl house #ramblings #long post

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cecenyss · 9 months

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~spoilers below~

Okay so the Heian Period that Sukuna lived lasted from 794 to 1185. Getting rid of the time after 1018 because that no longer qualifies as 1000 years ago and I’m petty like that means that the time when he lived at some point between 800 and 1018, so probably ninth or tenth century.

That still leaves two hundred years of time for him to have lived, and this is under the assumption that he even lived a human lifespan, which he absolutely might not have considering he had four arms for some unexplained reason (seriously he was a human being before dying right? I didn’t imagine that?).

The Fujiwara family was clearly important, though it’s hard to say whether that’s a new, sorcerer thing made up by Gege Akutami or if it’s actually meant to represent the Fujiwara clan of actual Heian Period Japan. Honestly it could be either but I’m fairly certain it is meant to be the same because otherwise that’s just confusing and I choose to believe this universe makes sense on some level for my own sanity.

We know the Fujiwara clan battled with Sukuna in some way because in chapter 219 in that flashback with Yorozu the gossiping people said that he defeated two major elite warriors of that clan’s northern forces, the one that Uro led and the one that Yorozu defeated and later got “recognized” and moved to the capital for.

Now I did some basic googling and the Fujiwara clan was founded in the year 668, but the Northern Fujiwara were founded in 1087 and disbanded in 1189, which completely discredits what I said in the first paragraph. Great going, me.

Sukuna is well established at this point, meaning he’s been doing… whatever conquering evil curse users do, for a while. Unfortunately we can’t use his appearance to learn literally anything because again he has four arms so he very well might not age.

Anyway in keeping with the Heian period and the founding year of the Northern Fujiwara he had to have been active between 1087 and 1185, which is just under a full century of wiggle room for him to do all his evil Sukuna things.

I don’t know if there’s any other evidence that could help narrow things down because this is a spur-of-the-moment, research rabbit hole type thing I decided to document on tumblr as I went along for no particular reason, but other individuals I know for a fact were alive at this point were Kenjaku, who Sukuna clearly knew; Tengen, who Kenjaku clearly knew; Uro, who led the elite force Sukuna destroyed; Yorozu, who was obsessed with and wanted to marry him; and Uraume, who served him.

Tengen and Kenjaku could very well be older than him, but Yorozu and Uro definitely are not, as they were mortal when they died. Uraume could go either way.

I did some other rabbit hole research and found that the Gojo clan was an actual clan that split off from the Sugawara clan, which was founded by Sugawara no Michizane, who Gojo says is the ancestor of him and Yuta.

If we assume that this is meant to be the Gojo clan of jujutsu kaisen, which isn’t an assumption I’m quite as comfortable making as other assumptions I’ve made here, it was founded some point in the 13th century, though I can’t really find the correct date. This is after the Heian period, despite the Gojo’s saying they were well established during that time.

But regardless of this, they could have existed in some hidden form within the Sugawara clan beforehand, and only became official during that time. After all, that tentative date is public, and I can think of several reasons why curse-wielding sorcerers would want to keep certain things about their family history private from the general public.

This works with what Tengen said about the Six Eyes, Star Plasma Vessel, and Kenjaku being intertwined in fate. Even if my assumptions about the Gojo clan are not correct, the Six Eyes probably predated the Gojo Clan in some form anyway.

Anyway there wasn’t a point to any of this, I’m just bored and rambling. If anybody else has anything more specific about the time period or just wants to talk about jjk worldbuilding and background please do I love headcanons and fleshing out already established worlds.

#jjk manga spoilers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo family #gojo clan #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #jjk kenjaku #jjk tengen #jjk uraume #jjk yorozu #jjk analysis #idk if that counts #this is mostly just me rambling I don’t know if I would call it analysis

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heathersproship · 4 months

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I WENT AND SAW MEAN GIRLS YESTERDAY

Went in with low expectations, but hoping to like it. Listened to some of the soundtrack a few days ago and wasn’t exactly impressed. But I didn’t blame the rearrangements—not entirely. Some of it was questionable, but maybe it’d be like with NPMD where I’d like it more when I had the visuals to go with it (I vastly prefer The Summoning live, and also High School is Killing Me, rather than the studio audio). And for the most part, I was right! I had a nice time.

See below the cut for my thoughts on the songs, other details, and some Janis analysis.

First Things First

We started off strong with the garage setup and Cautionary Tale. The vertical screen on a horizontal one doesn’t bother me, so I love the whole bit with the phone, and Janis plays guitar!

What Ifs was a song I didn’t listen to beforehand, and I understood most of it til Cady got to school. Then I had no idea what she was saying, either because the music was too loud or she was singing too softly, or both.

Meet the Plastics (though really it’s just Meet Regina) was good. Loved the lights flickering and Regina’s hypnotic voice like a siren luring the unsuspecting Cady in. Or an anglerfish.

Stupid With Love was actually not that bad... in the first half. Once we were out of the classroom, it fell off for me. I suppose they were going for a dreamy walking-on-air cloud nine “too in your own little world to notice the world around you” vibe, especially at the very end, but Angourie’s soft vocals didn’t do it for me. I expected a burst of energy since they’re outside and have the freedom to move and be loud with it.

Apex Predator was beautiful visually. Musically, I’m still not sure what to make of Damian singing Cady’s lines when they were about Janis. It’s strange. Couldn’t even have her think them? Record Angourie in a booth to get a feel for how big she can go, play it over a few shots of Cady’s face or the scene in front of them, Cady looking at Janis as she secretly compares Janis and Regina while Janis and Damian are warning her about Regina? No?

The build-up to What’s Wrong With Me was good—love the usage of the music box—though the song itself was a bit awkward. It’s sad all the same though, and that’s the point.

Sexy was good. Blink and you’ll miss the Easter egg.

Someone Gets Hurt was visually stunning. My one gripe is that Aaron has ONE line. Just one. And he doesn’t even sing it because the actor just doesn’t sing (did they hire him for his looks? The fact that he was in TSITP, which I haven’t seen? Why hire someone who doesn’t/can’t sing... for a musical??). Couldn’t they get someone to dub him? It’s just one line. Was that too much to ask? Disguise Damian’s voice if you have to. Giving it to Regina was certainly a choice they made.

Revenge Party was a fucking banger. It’s so fun and hella camp, and I love that they reinstated one of the OG verses (two if you recognize the piñata line from another verse). Also like how the “yes, bitch!” line was also back, unlike in the Broadway recording, though I don’t think that exchange needed to happen twice. I love Janis just loudly popping up with “And ugly crying!” during the bit with the sprinklers like girl shut up you’ll blow your cover! But then there was also that weirdass decision to have it go handheld when Cady goes to get the candy cane. Did not like that, what the hell was that?

Damian singing the iCarly theme in French lmao okay sure.

Someone Gets Hurt Reprise was just as good as the original, I love it. My only nitpick is the wording. “Obsessed” rather than “in love with” though that might have something to do with the doll.

World Burn was epic. Except... okay. Regina waltzed right into school with the Burn Book in hand. What if someone saw her? And then her just deliberately dropping and leaving it on the floor. And people really walked past it before someone finally picked it up? Really? The payoff is excellent, just the setup was... questionable.

Now that I’ve seen it, I definitely like this version of I’d Rather Be Me a lot more than I did before. Especially how it ends. (Though Barrett is still bae.) There’s possibly an allusion to the music video with the running in the halls and going about the school. But my God, Auli’i fucking did that! And again, very glad they kept the curse in the OST.

If that was a reprise of Stupid with Love... here’s an idea: just stop. The horse is already dead.

I See Stars was? Fine? Tbh I don’t really remember it. Probably because the girl who doesn’t go there takes over halfway though. Way to pull your weight, Cady. Angourie did well for some things, but singing really isn’t her strong suit. Again, why hire actors who don’t have the range for a musical?

Other things:

I love that Janis does embroidery here. It just fits.

Did not like the sanitization. How can this be Mean Girls without one mention of “social suicide”? You can keep the bouncing boobs thing and blatantly asking if Cady wants to have sex with Jason, but the band geeks are “corny-horny” and not “sexually active”?

Heyy Ashley Park!

Cady scaring the shit out of Janis and Damian will never not be funny. They were even watching the same scene of the same movie!

I was really hoping to get a flashback of Regina and Janis, with Janis actually burning the doll, rather than Damian acting it out with the toys. Or at the very least, a shot of Regina’s backpack on fire (that would’ve been a great teaser image). So we can get an idea of what Janis was like before, if she went along with the fashion rules like “pink on Wednesdays” or if she was always a little off-beat and Regina pushed her further into it. Maybe even see if she was the queen bee as some people believe was the case back in the day.

Love the bit with music people in the tree and Janis telling them to stop lmao. I love when they do things like that.

Analysis:

So one of the main differences between this Janis and her predecessors is that once this Janis gets to a certain point, she’s satisfied and actually wants to stop so she and her friends can just enjoy their time together rather than asking Cady to take a single night off before, presumably, letting it go on longer. This makes the party betrayal hurt worse when Cady says she wants one more lunch with the Plastics, as it looks like she made the active choice to trade up rather than just forgetting about Janis and Damian in her attempt to ensnare Aaron. Janis’ satisfaction also makes her singing IRBM more justified than in the musical because the movie took away a crucial aspect of her character which made her a Mean Girl to begin with: her anger.

This iteration of Janis just doesn’t have the same level of pure rage that drives her the way Regina does—rage which made them two sides of the same coin—because in this version, Janis is actually gay. The whole conflict in the original was Regina labeling Janis as something she wasn’t, and 2004 being a more homophobic time in history was how it was able to fly. In the 2018 musical, when that was no longer the case, they had to add in another layer with Regina pretending the issue was that Janis couldn’t accept she wasn’t one of the six people invited to her birthday party, before revealing the real issue was the same as the first: Regina pushing a label onto Janis (though Barrett says she played Janis as a lesbian, this was not explicitly confirmed nor acknowledged within the show itself, and is therefore no more canon than Regina being queer because Renee Rapp says so, closeted or not). With Janis being canonically queer here, this takes all the power out of Regina labeling her a lesbian in the first place because yes, yes she is, and? Rather than the problem being about the label, now the problem became Janis’ reaction to the bullying that ensued.

While she had to leave school due to how bad the bullying was in all versions previously (frozen out in the original—according to Regina she dropped out; and having “space dyke” Sharpied on her locker in the musical—according to Damian her parents pulled her out) this is the only time we know of where she retaliated. By burning the plush (and also Regina’s backpack) with a Bunsen burner. Her own actions resulted in her getting kicked out rather than being forced out by circumstances beyond her control, and the choice to do it this way shows that a) while what happened to her was more insidious, she’s also slightly less of a victim than her predecessors, and b) she knows better than anyone actions have consequences—a line of dialogue explicitly absent in the movie’s opening number. She was content to stop where they were at, quit while they’re ahead, because her desire for revenge was satiated and she was ready to move on. Have lunch with Cady and hang out like they always meant to. She’s no longer a Mean Girl. While there was an injustice done upon her, she’s not so scarred by it she’s letting her rage get the better of her to the point it spirals out of control. She was ready and willing to stop. But Cady wasn’t.

And I don’t know how to feel about that.

I think that’s it.

#Mean Girls #Mean Girls 2024 #Janis 'Imi'ike #Janis Ian #Janis Sarkisian #Regina George #Cady Heron

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heroofshield · 2 months

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WIP Wednesday/Whenever

tagged by @scknight05 @socially-awkward-skeleton and @vorchagirl

Tagging: @gavotteangel @natsora @anderfels and anyone else who wants to do it!

Most recent addition to my Vega/Ryder long fic:

“You mentioned rock climbing when we were talking a few days ago and asked Kara if she knew of any good climbing places. She said that this was a pretty good spot and I figured you might like it.”

“You figured right.” Anna leaned towards James and gave him a slight kiss, hearing gravel crunch as someone else started walking towards them. “But what about gear? I didn’t see any when we got into the shuttle.”

“He had me bring it.” Kara said, appearing next to them with a smile and unslung the rope from her shoulders. “I know it’s not your own gear, but I checked it out beforehand and it all looks sturdy. You can check it out as well if you want.” Sticking out a hand she continued, “It’s nice to finally meet you, well actually see you since the first time we met was outside that club in London.”

Anna shook Kara’s hand but didn’t return the smile, instead casting a pointed look at James while saying, “No offense but I didn’t know you were coming, what climbing experience have you had?”

“Oh plenty; grew up in the Pacific Northwest and climbed most of the spots. Smith Rock, Mazama, and Vantage were some of my favorites. What about you?”

Anna recognized the ones that Kara mentioned as the most popular, and challenging, spots to sport and trad climb in Washington State. “I’ve been to Smith Rock and most of the places in Texas; E Rock and Comstock were my favorites. Plus a bunch of places out West.”

James watched the exchange with a mixture of confusion at the names thrown out and knew that they were places but at the same time didn’t know how difficult they were. But the answers seemed to satisfy both Anna and Kara because they broke into grins, Anna relaxing her body a bit. Glad that whatever it was seemed to have been settled, pressing a hand against the small of Anna’s back he said, “Let's get the gear.”

#tag meme #wip #mass effect #james vega #annabel ryder

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roosterbox · 8 months

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Stripper Steve/Writer Eddie

Inspired by my results from a NSFW generator tweet, lol. This is just a brainstorming session, mainly so I can put SOMETHING in my WIP folder for this idea.

Said results were: Stripper Steve, Writer Eddie, At a Gay Bar, Size Kink. Simple enough. It could be either a smutty PWP one-shot, or a smutty epic romance. I could see it going either way, but I never met a story I couldn’t spice up by adding romantic clichés.

So Writer!Eddie meets Stripper!Steve at a gay bar. Sparks fly, as they often do. Eddie has a bit of a size kink, and loves how strong and muscular Steve is compared to him. They talk a little bit about their respective professions (especially Steve, who wants to nip any anti-sex work or anti-stripper bias Eddie may have in the bud as quick as possible. He’s been slut-shamed about it way too many times to count; Eddie’s cool with it), and decide to head back to Eddie’s place to have sex. Turns out Eddie has a huge dick, and Steve has a size kink too.

[if this was a PWP one-shot, this is where it would end. But I love to complicate things, lol, and so it continues…]

Initially, the plan is just for a one night stand, but of course, this is Steddie, and they can’t get enough of each other. They start meeting up semi-regularly. And it’s not just sex either. Sometimes they have dinner beforehand. Sometimes one of them spends the night and stays for breakfast. It doesn’t take long for them to develop, ugh, FEELINGS. Eddie, who’s been in a bit of a creative dry spell lately, finds himself able to write again. Sometimes he’ll even read Steve a few passages from his novel in progress (Steve, who is semi-dozing beside him in bed, is only half-listening, but tells him it sounds good).

But eventually, because romance story cliché, some wires get crossed. Maybe Steve realizes he’s catching feelings (caught feelings, really - these boys are down BAD), and breaks things off. Maybe they both say hurtful things they don’t mean. It’s easy to be hurt when you’ve fallen so hard.

Some time later (idk, a year? Don’t press me for details, I’m spitballing here, lol), Eddie’s book comes out. Bestseller, naturally. It’s not specifically a love story, but the love is practically dripping off every page (not like that, ya nasty). It’s textual, but also abstract and symbolic. It’s painfully obvious to anyone who reads it that Eddie was in love, but it didn’t work out. Someone (Robin? Yeah, Robin) lends Steve the book and tells him to read it. Because she is wise and knows all. He does, and is incredibly touched and emotional about it. Because even though people have been teasing him for being “just a pretty face” his whole life (which he’s not of course), even Steve can read between the lines. In fact, he even recognizes a few lines in the book from Eddie reading them to him in bed. Said lines are essentially a love confession. And Steve realizes that even though he might have fucked up worse than anyone has ever fucked up in their life, he needs to see Eddie again. Even if Eddie ends up slamming the door in his face, which he’d deserve, he must.

At Eddie’s place, Eddie doesn’t immediately slam the door, but it’s a near thing. Steve starts off by telling him he read the book. That it was amazing. Talks about the symbolism. Talks about how much he related to the main characters (especially the one obviously based on himself). He’s rambling, a bit nervous and awkward, but it eventually becomes him talking about his own feelings. Getting a bit worked up. There may be a heartfelt apology in there somewhere. He’s essentially baring his entire heart and soul right there on Eddie’s doorstep.

Eddie, for his part, is cold to Steve at first. Which is understandable - he got his heart broken, after all. But the more Steve rambles, the softer Eddie gets, until he can feel tears pricking at his eyes.

“Um,” Steve says, finally losing steam after god knows how long, “well. That’s it I guess. Sorry to just show up here. I’ll let you get back to what you’re doing. I’ll see you around…” That last bit said with the air of ‘I know we’ll probably never see each other again.’

He turns to leave, already planning to head to Robin’s place to raid her ice cream freezer and cry, but before he gets even once step, Eddie grabs him. Pulls him inside. Shuts the door. Practically shoves him against it. He’s surprisingly strong for how skinny he is, as Steve had found out early in their…interactions.

“Steven Middle Name Harrington,” he growls, but he’s smiling. “You are, without a doubt, the single most insufferable human being I have ever met in my life. You leave your dirty socks on the floor, you let dishes sit for too long, your hair clogs the drain more than mine - which, how is that even possible? You have more beauty products than a cosmetics department, you snore like a lumberjack, and you can barely cook anything more advanced than instant ramen. And-“ he pauses. Steve winces; he’s torn because Eddie’s words sound angry, but he’s still smiling? Was that a tear? “And I love you so much it’s made me stupid because here I am, with you in my house again, in my arms, and all I want to do is kiss you silly.”

Steve smiles, letting his tears fall freely now. They both are. He reaches over to cup Eddie’s face in his hands.

“Don’t hold back on my account,” he tries to tease, but to Eddie it sounds more like “I love you too.”

The kiss feels like coming home. A very wet and salty coming home perhaps, but a homecoming nonetheless.

#Steddie #does this count as a minific?#WIP planning #alternate universe #modern setting #give me all those delicious romance clichés #lol #the mortifying ordeal of being known #the inherent risk of giving someone your heart and hand to hold #they both have to deal with it in their own way

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thislovintime · 1 year

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Peter Tork and Reine Stewart, (in photo 4 with baby Hallie); photos 2 & 3 by Henry Diltz, photo 4 by Nurit Wilde.

A long read, taking a look at Peter from circa 1969 to 1980, with very frank reflections by Peter from the early ‘80s through to 2009.

“[After the end of The Monkees] Tork found out he'd paid half again what his house was worth, so he wouldn't have been able to get back his initial investment, even had he sold it. For a while he leased it to Stephen Stills, who’d gotten over the rejection of not being selected as a Monkee by becoming a superstar on his own, first with Buffalo Springfield, then in a trio with David Crosby and Graham Nash. Tork and his girl friend [Reine Stewart], who was then pregnant, went back East with the idea of becoming organic farmers. Late in 1969 Stills moved out, with a few months of rent paid up, so Tork and his girl friend returned to finish out the decade. ‘We were there for a few months, but it was much less comfortable. Then a fellow came in and took it over, a would-be-guru type, who ran a colony there. When he quit paying the rent, it was foreclosed.’ Next they moved into a house in Beverly Glen owned by David Crosby. Tork's daughter [Hallie] was born there in January 1970. ‘We stayed there for a while, and I became involved with another woman, and my girlfriend and I broke up,’ he said. [...] One lesson, well learned only recently, has put Tork off alcohol since 1980. ‘I was able to change my course as early as I did, relative to some of the stories I've heard, because of my dabblings in Eastern philosophy,’ he said. ‘Because of that spiritual experience I had beforehand on acid (which has since been validated and expanded) and because of a few experiences in community, I've been allowed to recognize that what I really did want to find on a day-by-day basis was spiritual surrender. Now I am not in charge, not in the sense that somebody else is in charge, but in the sense that what is in charge is larger than I can know by myself, but I have to trust it. ‘I can't ascribe my alcoholism to fame,’ he went on. ‘I can more easily do it the other way around. One of the things about alcoholics, to the extent that I've been able to make any observations, is that we are either above the crowd or below it – or both at the same time. The reason you shoot to be above is because you feel below, and the reason you feel below is because you're not part of, never one of the guys. You envy the people who seem to have a certain contentment. The character makeup that sent me into pop stardom is the same character makeup that sought to anesthetize myself with chemistry. I found that it was not until I put all of that chemistry behind me that I began to get back in touch with my place in the human scheme of things.’” - When The Music Mattered (1984)

Peter Tork: “Yeah, I was a serious substance abuser, I abused some serious substances – and they abused me in return, it was only fair. But I’d like to report now, for the sake of all those who care, that I haven’t abused a single substance in a long time. I’m actually, I’m very happy about it, although I have to say that it has nothing to do with willpower or, you know, strength of character or any of that kind of thing, which a lot of people talk about. It was just surrender, it was just giving up.” Q: “And it was expensive.” PT: “No. It was beer.” Q: “Oh. All right.” PT: “Drank too much beer.” - The Rik Turner Show, January 1994

Peter Tork: “There never was a time I couldn’t drink. My parents let me drink wine if I wanted with dinner, or a sip of cocktails or a bit of beer, nobody ever cared, and I never got too deeply into it when I was young. But it’s pretty clear that everybody’s… that alcoholics have a curve to their disease, to their syndrome, that is basically not affected by life or by anything else, just it’s genetic, it’s in their bones. And I guess my curve hadn’t taken over me, it didn’t… I didn’t even notice I was in trouble until my late thirties. One or two friends of mine knew I was in trouble before that, but not many. [It appears there’s a genetic history] My father died at 86, you know. It’s hard to say that he died of alcoholism, because alcoholics at best die in their sixties, or early sixties, you know, most alcoholics who can survive, who don’t die of anything else, who just die of the organic damage alcohol does to them, die in their sixties. So it’s hard to say, you know. But I think the best teller of the disease; well, there’s two good tells, I think. One of them is: do you drink when it’s against your better interest to do so, and when the information is there that lets you know that it is. And the other is: personality changes, you know. And I used to see my father with personality changes. My mom drank like a fish, but she may not have been an alcoholic, it’s hard to know. But almost certainly my father was. And that’s the only genetic information I have.” (x) [...] Q: “Did anybody approach you, and say, say, 'Peter, man, what are you doing?'” PT: “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.” Q: “Wow.” PT: “Because I never... because my... listen, I have a very high-bottom story, really. You know, I would get drunk and behave badly one night, and it wouldn’t happen again for months and months and months. And everybody thought, oh, well, Peter’s just, you know, he’s just had a few too many. And it didn’t happen all the time, and, you know, like the man says, you know, 'I didn’t get into trouble every time I picked up a drink; every time I got into trouble, I’d been drinking.' But if your bouts of trouble are months and months apart, as they were with me, nobody notices the pattern until you come back and say, ‘I’m not drinking anymore,’ and they go, ‘Oh, well, that explains such and such,’ you know. A lot of my friends who weren’t drinking noticed sort of more in hindsight. ‘Oh, yeah, now that you tell me this, now that makes more sense than it did before,’ some event in their memories suddenly makes more sense, and that kind of thing. But, so nobody said to me, ‘Peter, Peter, you’re playing in traffic, and you’re going to get hit.’ [...] In my view, one of the things about my being an alcoholic is that it did keep me from applying the kind of concentration that let me be as good a musician as I want to be. In other words, it’s like every so often I would pick up a new instrument, and so if I could only play many fewer instruments and play them all all commensurately better, I think I’d be a happier musician today. [...] I picked up the trumpet the other day. [...] I really would rather concentrate on the things I can do somewhat well rather than waste time doing things I can’t do at all well.” - Take 12 Recovery Radio, (late?) 2000s

“The bottom came for me in June, 1980. Then I managed to quit drinking. The following January I had my last toke of grass and last toot of snow. Since then my career has been puttering along at a steady rate.” - Peter Tork, The Monkees Tale (1989)

“I was never inherently afraid of my situation. When I found myself [in the early 1970s] in a boardinghouse with my daughter [Hallie] in a room for twenty-five dollars a month, sleeping on a mat on the floor, I was not discouraged.” - Peter Tork, When The Music Mattered (1984)

“[In the mid-1970s] I went to Southern California and sort of assembled a family. My daughter [Hallie] from my previous marriage [to Reine Stewart] came to live with me and my woman [Barbara Iannoli], who I then married and had a son [Ivan] with." - Peter Tork, Goldmine, 1982

“[Hallie] says that she has a better relationship with me than any of her friends have with their fathers. It’s a good thing for us, and I hope that the others’ aren’t catastrophic. Because otherwise it means (laughs), otherwise it’s small praise.” - Peter Tork, WDBB, February 2006

“Somewhere along the line, it finally sunk in. Not only that I couldn’t drink safely, which I knew, but that there was no pretense, no way to pretend to you or me that there was a chance of a pretense of drinking safely. And somehow, that got through to me and I was able to turn and make some requests… and go find the help that I needed. [...] So I got a community. And with a community, who had been through ahead of me what it was I needed to go through, I was able to give up my will. So it was no longer a matter of, ‘Man, what willpower you’ve got, you haven’t had a drink in 28 years, how do you do it, man? If I had your willpower…’ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. It’s not having the willpower. It’s giving up the willpower. It’s surrendering, hopefully, to a dedicated community, for starters that — for me — a dedicated community that enabled me to begin the slow process of dealing with all the stuff that I drank about in the first place. Which is all the ways that I had, you know… because I felt like I was — I knew I was a runner-away, I’d run away all the time. And that made me a cheat. And since I knew I was a cheat, I cheated you. Vicious cycle. I cheat you, so… and then I run, and that makes me… and I know I’m a cheat, so it doesn’t matter whether I cheat, because that doesn’t change anything, so I cheat and I run, and I cheat and I run. Everything. Relationships. I was pretty good with cash register honesty, I learned that at my father’s knee. But almost every emotional honesty available to me was not available to me. And I — I’ll tell you the truth, folks, 28 years later, that emotional recovery, emotional honesty, the emotional — the honesty and depth is, right now, my biggest challenge. I ain’t got it yet. It is better than it ever was, and I’m beginning to — I feel like I’m rounding a corner. Of course, I’ve been feeling that for 28 years. But it feels like I’m getting better. And I know I am. The quality of my friendships is richer and deeper and stronger, my friends are more important in my life, and I’m more important in my friends’ lives. And I am able to hear when somebody says, ‘Is that exactly what you had in mind right there? Is that a perfectly honest…’ And I go, ‘Well, maybe not, I think I can probably do better than that,’ and work on it. In other words, because I have what I can rely upon, I am able to get better, and getting better enables me to stay sober, staying sober enables me to get better, and that cycle, which was a vicious cycle before, is now a benign cycle, and it’s taking me to some really wonderful places.” - Peter Tork, Recovery Fest, 2009

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atkrnina · 1 year

Text

memento mori (1)

So - I’ve fallen into the rabbit hole that is thirsting over (blue) Quaritch. This inspired me to start my own little story, including him of course! So far the plot revolves around Tiya, who is the youngest sister of Tsu’tey. Thanks to her own stubbornness and aim for revenge she gets taken by Quaritch and has to make some very hard decisions in order to see her people again.

Important to mention would be that this story takes place during Avatar 2. There is also no trace of Spider in this story, since I couldn't figure out a way which made sense to fit him in here (sorry Spider! maybe next time!)

This story will likely have more parts, but I am not sure about NSFW content yet :’)

English is not my native language, so I apologize beforehand for any mistakes.

(RecomQuaritch x FemaleNa’viOC)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Grief, pain, destruction. That's what the sky people brought along with them. When they attacked her home and destroyed it, she hadn't been old enough to fight yet. Though she'd been old enough to remember.

Tiya had lost her oldest brother to the war, as well as their parents. The sky people had taken so much from her. She grew up with hatred burning through her veins, anger flooding her body whenever she saw their buildings. the things they built, they felt cold. Detached from Pandora and ruining her home. The sky people brought death with them. Spoiling the ground they walked on.

She grew up to be a capable warrior, one that Tsu'tey would've been proud of. Fury burning bright within her, fueling her body to fight the sky people, when they returned again.

—

it was her rage, her own personal vendetta against the sky people, that brought her into this situation.

Neytiri was her teacher, her mentor. She meant a lot to Tiya. Of course she had come with her to safe her and the Olo'eyktan's children.

one alien laid dead beneath her, one of her arrows had ended their life. There were still more, aiming to stop the children from running.

Tiya was smart, and she was skilled. Whatever wanted to shoot, she hit. Her arrows came from behind the aliens. They cursed and took cover, while she skilfully climbed from tree to tree, always keeping her eyes on them.

Their language wasn't unknown to Tiya. Her english was good. To her it was the language of demons, she never utilized it. It were the remaining scientists that the Olo'eyktan had introduced to the people, who had taught it to her and a few other children

She heard Neytiri call for her children, as Tiya made sure they all got away alright.

"Is that you, Jake Sully? I recognize your call card!"

It was the alien just below where she hid on the tree, that specifically addressed Jake Sully. She didn't know who it was, but it didn't matter. Tiya hated the aliens all the same. His language and his voice made her blood boil. They looked like them, but in truth couldn't be further away from any Na'vi.

Silently she crouched down, using her tail to remain balanced, as shots tore through the night. Their bullets brought cruel death, so much she knew. Her arrow pierced the aliens chest, but not the one's who had spoken. It was the one who had suddenly shown up besides him.

She quickly got back on her feet, when she found the alien that had addressed Jake look into her direction.

"is that a friend of yours, Jake?"

Tiya knew he could only see schemes of her, the eyes of these aliens weren't as good as hers, because they weren't true born Na'vi. So she put her bow in her right hand and went to climb on another tree branch.

It was then that she heard shots being fired in her direction. The sound made her sensitive ears ring. Tiya pressed herself against one of the large trees, listening to the sounds of the aliens beneath her.

there were two, and she relied on Eywa to know which one should die first. The arrow was fired silently, leaving her opponent to chance to react.

The faith of the other alien and already been decided in her mind, putting the bow around her shoulders and grabbing her dagger as she jumped the alien from above, with a fierce battle cry that briefly startled it.

The alien grunted as she landed on him, her knife tearing through his strange clothes, cutting his skin. Tiya tried to reach his throat, but felt herself being grabbed by her arms and simply swung over him, ending up on the ground.

the Na'vi warrior rolled backwards until she had solid footing beneath her again. It was a matter of seconds that led to her deciding to withdraw herself from this conflict. The people needed her, now more than ever. She wouldn't die at the hands of an alien, Tsu'tey wouldn't want that for her, too. It was the sight of the aliens weapon, that added to her final decision.

She hissed fiercely at the alien, before running into the depths of the forest. Her feet carried her quickly and gracefully. She heard that she was being followed. Yet, the alien wasn't as graceful as her.

Then he shot. Tiya pinned her ears back, aiming to climb on another tree. When she felt a dull, pain and a warm, wet, sensation on the side of her thigh. A hiss left her throat. As she attempted to jump to get herself to a branch, her right leg simply gave up on her.

A mix of fear and grim determination took ahold of her, when she saw the deep red blood running down her right leg, over her illuminated skin.

The alien had almost reached her, as she snuck behind the tree, putting one last arrow in her bow.

Tiya closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, before turning around to shoot the arrow at the alien. For once didn't care if she'd hit him or not.

"show yourself!"

His voice was like an intrusion, like it didn't belong in the forest. Which these aliens ultimately didn't.

"I know you are wounded, you'll never make it back in time,"

She put her hand against her chest, inhaling deeply, feeling the colorful necklace around her neck and chest, that she wore with so much pride. The loss of blood began to make her feel drowsy, but at least it seemed like the children had gotten away. So had Neytiri and Jake.

They mustve thought she had retreated with them, and would meet them later on. For a brief second, Tiya cursed herself and her stubbornness. If the aliens caught her, the clan would be disappointed.

"I will only ask once!"

The alien spoke strangely, in his demon tongue.

Tiya put her bow in her right hand and left her cover, stepping towards the alien. Where she found herself at the end of his weapon.

Both her ears were pinned back, her lips curled into a snarl. Two sharp fangs glistened in the moonlight. Large yellow eyes stared fiercely at the alien, not squinting the slightest bit while her face was distorted to a snarl.

He still saw it. The blood that ran over her blue skin. One of his bullets had at least grazed her, from the looks of it.

The warrior wasn't Jake. Or his woman. Or any of their children. But she had killed two of his marines.

She hissed at him, large yellow eyes burning with fiery rage, tail whipping aggressively. He saw the bow in her hand and scoffed quietly. The arrows reminding him of the not so pleasant memory that was his own death. In the slight bioluminescent lighting of the forest he saw the traditional loincloth that the Na'vi wore, and the colorful necklace that covered her chest and parts of her neck. Around her waist she carried a leather strap that held a dagger.

From what he guessed, this one was definitively a warrior. A young woman, at that. Maybe in close affiliation to Sully.

Her frame was still impressive to say the least. The way her eyes and her body showed no sign of pain or fear, how she snarled at him, reminding him more of an animal than a woman.

Not impressive enough to last one narcotic arrow that was well placed at her lower back, shot by another one of his people.

Tiya gasped and ripped the foreign object immediately from her back, staring at it, before throwing it on the ground. Her ears moved nervously, as she reached for the dagger around her waist, seeking retaliation.

Yet no amount of rage could withstand the strong narcotics. Colonel Miles Quaritch knew that. Not even a well-trained, young and healthy Na'vi could withstand a dose like that.

Under the wary eyes of multiple aliens she collapsed to the ground.

#miles quaritch #recom miles quaritch #avatar #pandora #na'vi oc #na'vi quaritch #avatar 2 #miles quaritch x oc #avatar fanfiction #avatar james cameron

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lode-builds · 2 years

Note

The texturing on your builds hits so nice. Do you have a specific thought process when doing it?

thank you! basically, I put on a bdoubleo100 youtube video and copy everything he does. hope this helps!

jk lolz long-winded explanation(?) below

when I texture, I think it's helpful to make a gradient of the colors/blocks I want to use beforehand. I dont do this every time, but I think if you're having trouble texturing this is a good place to start. as you get more practice you'll be able to see these gradients WHILE you're building and won’t have to plan them out and stuff. when you're doing this, try to see the blocks as colors/shades, instead of as the blocks themselves. I usually make the base of the build darker than the top, and occasionally add darker "shading" under windows/stuff that sticks out. I think gradients work best for large builds, but they work for small ones too!

aside from shading, gradients work well to make surfaces look kinda stained/damaged

(the world for this wip was on the 1.18 experimental snapshot and got corrupted so I cant finish it😭😭 might make a separate post with the pics I have I think it’s cool. the palette/style was inspired by a build I saw on insta a while ago but couldn’t find the post, lmk if anybody recognizes it!)

gradients are cool, but they aren't your only option for texturing! sometimes random scattering/mixing of blocks is the best option, depending on what effect you want. My Owl House build has a mix of a gradient and random textures, which I think is a good look.

You can also use different shades of the same color to make something look like bricks or other materials. I did this in my steampunk house and castle builds, but in the castle I added a gradient as well!

also, idk if this counts as texturing BUT. and this might not be practical if you’re building something for actual use in survival/etc. BUT. for some reason I think dark windows (like black concrete behind some glass) make everything look like 10x better for pictures. it started out as me trying to hide my unfinished interiors for posts, but it just looks soo gooood and yea

WOW this was long and I feel like I didn’t explain anything lmaooo. as I’m sure u guys know by now i’m very go with the flow while I build, so my explanations are kind of all over the place. I think my biggest help has been looking at stuff other people have made and practicing with what I’ve noticed and eventually putting my own spin on things!

happy building!

#ask #anonymous

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vincess-princess · 2 years

Text

the wild, the wayward and the wicked

Chapter 3

Word count: 2720 Warnings: there is a mention of a potentially triggering subject, but I don't want to reveal it beforehand. i will put the warning in the tags so you can look there if you wish.

“So you want the hunted to become the hunters?” Mick tilted his head. “That’d be one hell of a plot twist.”

“I’ve been saying!” Tommy beamed. “They’d expect a robbery or a theft from us but definitely not this!”

“You ain’t the first to hit upon this idea,” Mick tempered his enthusiasm. “Law-abiding citizens don’t usually possess the experience of hunting down people, y’know. It’s that the price on our heads is much higher than that for this fellow, yet it’s us who intend to bring him to justice. The irony!” he chuckled and took a drag from his cigar. A thin layer of smoke drifted in spirals below the ceiling.

“Are you saying it’s a bad idea?” Tommy’s face fell, to Nikki’s delight. The kid hadn’t yet learned to discern Mick’s attitude from his impenetrable expressions. To be fair, it took Nikki much longer and through a great deal of trial and error, but it didn’t mean he was going to make it any easier for the kid.

Mick gave him a long, tired look.

“I’m saying it’s a horrible idea. Do you understand how much danger we’d put ourselves in? We are practically handing the law a four-in-one package on our own volition. No self-respecting outlaw with a lick of common sense would ever do this.”

Tommy looked like Mick just killed his puppy in front of him. Nikki would even feel sorry for him if he didn’t know Mick well enough.

“You’re right – nobody will believe we’re that crazy,” Mick continued. “Which is why that’s exactly what we are gonna do. Cops will be looking for us among the criminals, not those who turn them in. And the best place to hide is in plain sight.”

Tommy beamed, his eyes lighting up. He sat upright proudly and shot Nikki a triumphant look. Nikki replied with a condescending grin. He knew precisely what Mick would say, but wanted to keep the kid on his toes.

The vodka kicked in and coated everything in gentle haze that diluted the blinding contrasts of life into fluid, smooth color shifts. The sharp edges of his mind that pierced him on the inside softened, and the mood swings evened out. The messy, fragmented thought process was a downside, but not critical.

“They might not look for us on purpose,” Nikki spoke up finally. He knew how Mick would react, but that didn’t mean he agreed with him. “But they ain’t all gonna go blind all of a sudden. Suppose we catch the guy. We bring him to town. And then what – just show up at the sheriff? Our faces are on every town pole – you really think he won’t recognize us?”

“You and Mick – yes. But I’m not yet as famous,” Tommy sighed with feigned envy. “They ain’t got my photographs yet, right? I haven’t been arrested before.”

“They saw you when we were skedaddling from the mayor’s house,” Nikki reminded. “Cops know about you now, and all the police offices probably already have your description.”

“It was two weeks ago,” Tommy jerked his shoulder flippantly. “They’ve already forgot what I look like. But if you are so sca-“ Nikki frowned, “I mean, worried, I can cut my hair. And grow a goatee.”

Nikki ruthlessly dismissed his offer of self-sacrifice. “Still too obvious. They’re gonna take you up just in case, as they often do, and how will we get you out then? Besides,” he taunted, “we’re gonna starve if we’re gonna wait for your goatee to grow out.”

“He’s right,” Mick intervened, effectively stifling Tommy’s attempt to protest. “Not about the goatee, but about everything else. No offence, kid, but do you really think they’ll believe that it was your fifteen-year-old stick-thin self that caught a dangerous criminal all by yourself? They’re bound to get suspicious. And it won’t be hard to dig up stuff on you once they are.”

“I’m eighteen!” Tommy jumped up, bubbling with indignation.

“You look like an adolescent,” Mick shot him down. “And behave like a toddler. No, none of us can show up at the station ourselves. We need outside help, and one that doesn’t know what we dragged ourselves into at that – our old friends won’t help us anymore, not for a price we’re able to offer. Any ideas?”

Gloomy silence hung over the cabin for a couple of minutes. The deeper one gets into the underground, the fewer friends from the world above they have. It’s neither strange nor overly hurtful: most want nothing to do with the dangers such a friendship entails, and one gains new, more useful friends quickly anyway. It’s only in situations like theirs that the downsides of it start manifesting.

Finally, Nikki broke the silence.

“I know a guy,” he said slowly. “We used to do coke together back in the day. He never really got out of it…”

“Neither did you,” Tommy murmured.

“…so he could use some money,” Nikki continued, graciously ignoring him. “He’s a big guy, pretty intimidating, should look convincing enough. Of course, he’s got that cocaine wear and tear, but…”

“How do you know he won’t turn us in?” Mick questioned.

Nikki shrugged. “I don’t. But we used to be pretty good buddies…”

“That’s not a guarantee.”

“…and I’ll just tell him I’ll kill him if he rats us out.”

“And make the psycho face!” Tommy clapped his hands gleefully.

Nikki rolled his eyes, but did stretch his lips into his signature grin, a little bit too toothy and broad for comfort; together with wide, unblinking eyes it gave its witnesses unforgettable memories. As much as Tommy tried to replicate it, he never managed it quite right: his looked more like the face of a village idiot. He didn’t get too upset over it, though; “village idiot” was his brand, and a damn convincing one at that.

“Yes!” Tommy laughed. Mick pressed his lips together tightly and looked away, and the grin on Nikki’s face quickly faded. Mick always told Tommy to “stop encouraging it” when he thought Nikki couldn’t hear, and Tommy always promised and then asked Nikki to pull the face again once the old man was out of sight. He was smarter than the two of them combined, but still just a human that could sometimes get hung up on trifles like this.

“So,” Mick said loudly, clearly trying to steer the conversation away from the shaky ground, “and how much do you think he’ll ask for?”

“Fifty dollars should be enough. It’ll keep him busy for a month at least. And junkies don’t look that much farther into their future.”

“That we can spare,” Mick nodded. “You’re not much of a negotiator – don’t get pissy, that’s true - so I’d make this a starting rate. But don’t offer more than twice of that. You can’t let him know how much money really is in the game – the more money, the higher the stakes, and the higher the stakes, the bolder people get.”

“Do I have to do it?” Nikki winced. “I really doubt I could pull it off better than you.”

“Yeah? How long do you think it’ll take him to figure out that ratting on us will be much more profitable than helping us? Your friendship is a key factor here. He knows you, he’d be much more inclined to help you than some random man.”

“That makes sense,” Nikki sighed. “But if I fuck it up, don’t blame me. I warned you.”

“Don’t fuck it up then,” Mick cut him off harshly. “We don’t get this guy to do it, we’ll have to shell out considerably, and we can’t afford that. You think five grand are a fortune? Well, just you see how quick they run out just on food and lodging in Nevada. And it ain’t gonna be a luxurious vacation either, mind you. It will be enough to get us back on our feet only if we spend it wisely.”

“We going to Nevada? It’s a shithole,” Tommy pursed his lips. A very dumb move, as far as Nikki was concerned, but his opinion was firmly on the last line of a long list of fucks that Tommy didn’t give. “There ain’t a single big city there where we could practice our business. It’s a fucking desert! What are we gonna do there? Mine silver?”

“Where there’s silver, there’s always money,” Nikki said hastily to let Mick, who looked outright murderous, collect himself and reconsider strangling Tommy right there and then, however appealing it seemed to both. “Nobody’s gonna force you into the mines, T-bone… although that might do you good. That silver ain’t sitting there on one spot, y’know. It’s gotta move in some way, and Nevada doesn’t have a railroad. All the money goes in stages and freights. You see where I’m going?”

Tommy didn’t look particularly overjoyed, unknowingly yet successfully sabotaging Nikki’s efforts to keep him alive till the end of the conversation. “Yeah, I see that we’re gonna become simple highwaymen,”

“It’s either that or the gallows,” Mick reminded him, his voice on the verge of a yell. “Chain gang, in your case. Big cities are a no-go for us now, at least for a few months.”

“He just doesn’t wanna learn to shoot properly,” Nikki scoffed. The best way to distract Tommy from complaining about something was to make him sore about something else. “Scared of getting his hands dirty. Lifting is child’s play, of course he wants to stick to it.”

“Hey, that’s bullshit!” Even in the dim light of two candles and Mick’s cigar butt Nikki could see Tommy’s ears redden. “I can shoot just fine! I just let you do it because you clearly get the kick out of it.”

“Oh yes, you’re always hiding behind my back solely for my sake!”

“At least that way you can’t shoot me with your withdrawal-shaking hands!”

“That’s enough.”

Mick never raised his voice, but it always cut through Tommy’s and Nikki’s arguments like a knife through butter, no matter how heated they were. For a while they wallowed in silence so thick it clogged every orifice on Nikki’s body, suffocating him.

Finally Mick spoke, and the acridity of his voice made the silence seem sweet as a chocolate pudding.

“We’re smack in the middle of a city teeming with cops on our tails, trying to figure how to play out our only opportunity to save our asses,” he began, every word a spear, “and you decide it’s the ideal time to drag out each other’s dirty linen and wave it before my eyes. You two seem to not understand what dire straits we got ourselves into, and that’s outright dangerous. If you behave like this now, how can I be sure you won’t start a petty fight at a critical moment?”

“How can you be sure he won’t pee his pants and bolt at the sight of a gun?” Nikki demanded, still riding the high of his rage.

“How can you be sure he won’t wander off spaced out on coke?” Tommy followed, his ears somehow even redder than before.

Under Mick’s heavy gaze both felt their determination cave in, but then came a sudden and much more unnerving change of tune: he chuckled, leaned back onto his chair and put his feet up onto the coffee table. “Well,” he said almost merrily, “you said it, not me. Looks like I have to look for more reliable mates.”

Nikki’s rage that seemed so sturdy underneath him shattered like fine china, hurling him downwards towards the ground.

“What?!” he and Tommy exhaled in unison.

“You’re no good to me if you only see each other’s weaknesses,” Mick readily explained. “You won’t trust someone without any redeemable qualities with your life, will you?”

“But we’d never-” Tommy began, but Mick callously brushed him off.

“How can I know that you’re not saying stuff like this about me behind my back?” He took a slow drag from his cigar, as if purposefully stretching the dispirited silence. “You’re already shitting all over each other in my presence. My turn might come quicker than we all expect.”

This was when Nikki finally crashed into the ground, leaving him aghast and breathless. Tommy also didn’t fare all too well, all color gone from his face and at a loss for words, which was never the case with him. The cigar tip once again looked tempting.

Mick was waiting for an answer rather patiently, but Nikki couldn’t suppress a feeling that he would get up and walk out the door at any second. He hurried to herd his jumbled emotions together so he could formulate a coherent answer.

“Sorry,” he finally said, pushing words out with effort. “I never thought of it this way. We always bicker like that, you know.”

“And it has always been unnecessary,” Mick said sharply, “but now it may be outright deadly. We’re facing a very rough patch, Nikki. If we want to make it out in one piece, we have to change our ways.”

“I understand. Sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Tommy, who up until now was engrossed in studying a cobweb in the corner of the ceiling, also chimed in.

“I hope so,” Mick finished the cigar with one drawn-out drag and dropped the butt into the ashtray. “Think it over very thoroughly tonight, both of you. You won’t have time for that anymore starting tomorrow – it’s gonna be busy if we want to get going the next night. With that bounty, there’ll be lots of aspirants for this guy’s head, so we’ve got to hurry.”

“Got it, boss.” Nikki rose from his chair on unsteady legs and headed to another room, dragging Tommy with him. “We’re gonna hit the hay then. You be staying up much longer?”

“Need to think some more.”

“Alright. Night, then.”

“Sleep well. We might not get another chance in the nearest future.”

Nikki and Tommy quietly closed the door behind them and curled up on their sleeping mats. For a while the only sound in the room was their breathing.

“Hey, bitch.” Nikki finally said. “Shooting ain’t that scary once you get the gist of it. We could practice a bit once this is over.”

“I’m not scared of it!” Tommy protested in a fierce whisper. “I just don’t want to do it when it’s not needed.”

“Then you gotta pick a different walk of life. You can’t do without a gun here.”

“I know, I know…” Tommy heaved a sigh, turned over on his mat and fell silent. But soon a suspicious rustle came from his direction, and Nikki opened his eyes just in time to see the little bastard shove his hand under his blanket, and then – the sound of skin rubbing against the fabric. Now? Seriously?!

“Don’t you fucking dare-“

“Oh god, relax! I’m just scratching an itch!” Tommy groaned. “I could be doing anything, why’s that the first thing that comes to your mind? That raises some questions about you, you know?”

“What questions?” Nikki pulled up the edge of his blanket defensively.

“For starters, is that really ladies you’re lacking?”

If Nikki’s freedom of movement hadn’t been limited by a blanket, Tommy would have gotten the shit kicked out of him there and then. Fortunately for the kid, it took Nikki long enough to throw the blanket away and roll over towards Tommy for him to free his arms as well. They struggled for a while, but it turned out swinging punches and pulling at each other’s hair while trying to stay quiet was no more productive than a catfight. Nikki and Tommy got so carried away that they barely managed to spot Mick’s shadow looming in the gap under the door, and only had a couple seconds to restore status quo. But it was far from their first time fighting behind his back, so when the door opened, letting in dim light and even thicker cigar smoke, they were already in the opposite corners of the pantry making not very convincing sleeping noises. Tommy was facing the wall to hide his split lip and Nikki wrapped himself in a blanket from head to toe to conceal a few missing strands of hair.

“Bastards,” Mick murmured. He got no reply, but they all knew the warning reached its destinations.

#motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #outlaw au #the wild the wayward and the wicked #tw: drug use mention #tw: addiction mention #you thought nikki is just suicidal? ha! he's also a fucking junkie #currently sober tho #this is really just a fleeting mention not a spoiler nothing game-changing. idk why i dont want to reveal it in the warnings but i dont #this is longer than usual for this fic but much shorter than is typical for me. it took me like a week to edit tho jeez.#have this already i can't look at this chapter anymore #my writing

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you-will-return · 1 year

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Hi 🤗, Real Violent Bob, Spiritual Masturbation and Simba for the BC ask game?

Hey Lena! Great to see you :D

Real Violent Bob (What is your nickname?)

I have several ones actually, though most people just call me Anna. Nicknames ranked by accuracy and affinity I have for them:

1. Wednesday (ngl used to hate that one as a kid but it does capture most aspects of my personality quite well)

2. Ännekind (my name + child? A solid effort, love to see it.)

3. Rat (merely here bc it shocked my primary school teacher when my uncle used it)

4. Anakin and Darling (feeling equally neutral about these. I don’t feel like Darth Vader, neither do I feel like someone’s darling. They meant well though)

Spiritual Masturbation (What is your guilty pleasure?)

If you’d asked me a few months ago, I would’ve said EDM but I think I’ve slowly started to erase the guilty part with that one.

Other than that I love cookie cutter romance movies/ novels. Especially the trope “young woman running away from life and meeting stand-offish rich guy in different country/ region”. I have like three books with that exact plot and I enjoy them all to bits. Depth? In these books? Never! They’re like cheap chocolate: not all too complex but hit the spot. (This is not to say that they’re badly written... most of the time... they are just so predictable that it’s almost funny which is not a bad thing, you just have to own it and they do)

Simba (Stupidest thing that has ever happened to you?)

Oh... OH. I’m bad at remembering things but I’ll tell you smth that is still pretty fresh in my memory.

For context: the story happened this year before the BC show in Dresden. I was VERY sleep deprived and had already been to the two other shows in Berlin and Hamburg beforehand.

So, the group I was with (all very lovely people, we played UNO) had decided to go to the nearby gas station for drinks and whatnot. For reasons, I had not been there when they had decided to go, so I had to jog after them (since I didn’t want to scream for them to wait in front of like 30-40 strangers). So I jog down this hill (imagine a 1,76 tall girl, who hasn’t gone running in like 5 years, in a BC shirt, shorts, black fishnets plus a chain necklace happily bopping along), and suddenly I jog past this guy and think “Huh, he looks familiar”, he also looks at me like he’s expecting me to know him. I do not know him. In that moment I only seem to recall that he is vaguely related to the BC show and that I’ve definitely seen him on stage at the other show. My conclusion: he has to be one of the roadies bc I love watching the roadies set up the stage.

Anyway, I catch up with the group and tell them that I ran into one of the roadies... I think. We go to the gas station.

Small time skip: OCEANS just got done playing (10/10, great guys, fun to talk to). And Lost Society are setting up the stage. Suddenly I see a familiar face: it’s the guy from earlier. So he has something to do with LS, great. Mystery solved. Almost.

I have pretty much forgotten about all of this by the time they start playing until: “Wait, he’s not a roadie?” (said to no one in particular)

And that’s the story of how I accidentally jogged past Mirko, without even recognizing him after already having seen him live TWICE and seeing him off-stage in Berlin + almost talking to him there.

My phone broke that evening and not recognizing Mirko is still the stupidest thing that happened to me that day.

Thank you so much for your ask!! And sorry for not getting to it earlier :(

Hope you have a great day and a happy new year!!

#why is it that any time we talk the answers always get super long?? lmao

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handelplayssims · 1 year

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t’s day 2 of the catch-up days. Kiara’s awake and has a little time before school starts...and she wants to be inspired. Welp. Let’s just do some pre-school yoga then. And now everyone heads off to school and work, and Kiara gains a liking for wellness. Ahp, and Santiago has to go to work as well. Sorry dude, would remember to wake you up and hour beforehand to get needs taken care of but forgot. At least it’s just food and bathroom, things fulfilled at work.

Kids are back from school and Kiara has gotten her B-grade again. Nice nice! Santiago also returned from work. His whim? To crush the dreams of a toddler! Very rude. We’ve invited a friend over as a part of Zayne’s coming home from school though sooooo, we’re holding off on that. Instead, it’s time to write! Oh wait, can’t do that. So instead I’m going to do something I’ve long been thinking about. I’m going to upgrade the bathroom plumbing. Toilet, sink, bathtub. They all need to break less often so we’ll work on that this evening. Meanwhile, Ashlynn is crashing right into bed. She had little sleep thanks to that bar night so she’ll need it.

Oh huh. Santiago has a tense moodlet from the visiting kid but not the one of his own. I guess that’s a way to ensure that he’ll not be tense all the time. Zayne asks Santiago for advice on becoming a ninja and...I still don’t get how getting a ninja outfit affects empathy. ...I really should take away that positive sentiment. Hey, Santiago! Time to be an annoying git towards your kid! There we go! Festering grudge! Good for me! So next is solving hard problems, aka homework time for Zayne and Kiara...wishes to get to know Zayne. Huh. Well, let’s work on her homework as well. Alongside Zayne! Again, I do find this cute, the two siblings getting along together in a sort of “we are suffering under our annoying parents” solidarity. Oh he yelled at her because he’s now mad thanks to his dad. Aww. I had them take moments to themselves, had Zayne play with the cat and then had him apologise to her. And then I had her send him to bed.

Aww. She’s being the fun mom in the midsts of their parents being bad. Aww. To bed with her. And then time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Windenburg: The Keves Team moved out.

FAREWELL MY XENOBLADE TEAM! Farewell and may the hands of death avoid ye!

Emilia Lucas in the Lucas household is now a Freelance Programmer in the Freelance Programmer career.

Britechester: The Allen household moved out.

Well that’s consistent at least. Anyway, another day! And the next day! SAVE! SAVE! SAVE! It’s 3AM and Ashlynn has finally woken up from her slumber, in massive need of the restroom and food. And one of her whims is asking for snack! Ha! Well, I’d be more of a “eat ice cream” gal but the whim in particular is about quick meals. But hey, after some yogurt, we’ll go and make some! Kiara’s up and energized. Let’s make a high-energy protein plate for breakfast. Good way to start the day, with asparagus, eggs and beef! Meanwhile, Santiago and Ashlynn are flirting. Good for them! And they had a -ahem- time before work. So now it’s just casual hang out before work begins. Hopefully it doesn’t break today and if it does, I do have saves. So let’s go on patrol.

We’re at Evergreen Harbor today at the apartments. Hooooo boy. At least it isn’t storming like last time. Because I mostly blame the crash on the stormy weather and staying out overtime. And we got some fights not long after settling in! Yes! Good! And no crashing! Woooooo! We’re in the clear! Next stage is catching a criminal! When we initially loaded in, we got info on clues for who committed the previous crime. Now it’s a matter of catching them.

So materialistic male. Got it! We got Jing Fen the professor and Karter Cain, former maid! Ohohohoho. I can just check the wiki for Jing’s info to help narrow this down! But I better do this properly. All of the men around here have long-sleeved shirts and slacks. Annnd there we go. It’s the teen I didn’t recognize. Got the materialistic trait off of him. Hooray! We ruined a teen’s life with a criminal record! Yaaay! Now we just get to hang out at the station.

Okay, you I understand a little bit more than Mio. Still disappointed in you Lanz. Anyway, time for that pre-made BLT. And then we fingerprint and search our suspect. Poor poor teen. Anyway, as soon as you get the work task day up to full, you can do whatever. Alas, it’s near time for the day to end though. I just decide to have Ashlynn spend these last few minutes boxing. And hey, job done! Now she’s an officer! A proper one!

Spice Festival is happening! It’s time for Kiara and her club to show up and show out! ...though it seems only she’s showing up. Man. What’s the point of having a club terrorize a festival if they won’t show up?! Anyway, let’s pig out on food! Kiara shall learn how to make Sweet and Sour Pork and a Chicken Burrito! Now let’s do what we’re meant to do! Being mischevious to adults! And the first person I find is...a landlord. Time to be mean instead! Also it’s past Kiara’s curfew. Which fine by me! I was meaning to lower her responsibility! Agh, Ali the Landlord left before I could get to disliked. Alas. So I guess it’s time to simply watch the street performers, which seems like Kiara’s thing. And then I had her try the free bubble blower. Didn’t work out well. All she got was uncomfortable moodlets.

This man just found the grills and made it his home and purpose to simply GRILL. Good on him. Anyway, festival is over but let’s hang out until everything despawns. By 3:30, it has! Let’s go home. Naturally everyone would be spawned awake but I wanted to see the energy levels for the parents. Because someone is going to tell Kiara off for being late! Might as well be Mom cop. Annd her responsibility is back up. Welp. Nothing for it but...skipping school! I immediately send Ashlynn to bed afterwards. Zayne needs a midnight snack and we do have ice cream for him. He...somehow managed to go to the restroom inspite of Kiara fixing up the bath that broke down. -shrug- And how he shall join in slumber. Kiara will also have some ice cream, clean out the toilet, because I noticed it, and then head to slumber as well. And after that long day, it’ll be time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Yuki Behr in the Behr household has died. Shockingly, Yuki botched a repair and was electrocuted.

...n-no! No! Not my socially awkward vampire nerd Yuki! No! This is to the point of we’re going to go over and ensure an urn does spawn. She’s family. I played as her. And now she’s gone…

Maximiliano Miller in the Miller household has died. Maximiliano stuck a finger in a plug and electricity came out.

Jade Rosa in the Rosa household is now a Wave Watcher in the Lifeguard career.

...we’re taking a break to see if an urn spawns at Yuki’s home. And...no! No I’m not seeing anything at all… -sniff- It was more for Candy’s sake. Candy is still within a played household and all so… -sniff- Well, that’s a mood killer for this post. -sighs softly- I’ll see you all next time folks.

#sims 4 #liveblogging #kiara wallace #santiago wallace #zayne wallace #ashlynn wallace #man real sad about yuki #but that's how the neighborhood watch goes

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phoenixmaiden-gaming · 1 year

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Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation part 4

I picked up right where I left off from before and dove into the next mission. Mostly because I kept getting blocked off from getting the last 3 chest in the Bayou. So I took care of the fake Mackandal. Then found out about a weird glitch. Then jumped ahead in the future back in New Orleans to begin a new mission. But I also went around buying Dressing Rooms as well. Here is how it went.

When I started up again, I was back in town near the dressing room that I had bought. So I changed into my slave disguise so I could continue the mission.

I went and found Elise and she guided me to where the ceremony was going to be. While we canoed down the river, Aveline asked how long her and Roussillon had been working together and if they were together. Elise said she wouldn’t sleep with Roussillon if he was the last man on earth. He had saved her life once and she decided to help him with his business.

We eventually made it to the place where the ceremony was - the Realm of the Dead - and the fake Mackandal was there talking to Rafael, so that meant he was behind it and knew the fake’s real name. Baptiste was saying that he will not fail him. Rafael left and Baptiste told his Acolytes that it was time for the ceremony.

Elise distracted the guards by throwing a rock at them and it allowed me to sneak into their base. I then had to find a way around the guards to the place where the ceremony was with Elise following behind me.

I made it to the back and Aveline joined in among the worshipers dancing around a fire. She then pulled out her blowpipe to poison him, but he was quicker and used his own blowpipe to poison her.

Since I had taken the antidote beforehand, I just had to wait for the poison to wear off. So I was basically hallucinating that Baptiste was in front of me. He recognized my blowpipe as the one he had made and Agate had stolen. But now that he had captured me, he will come out of hiding.

The fake went on to say that Agate was his disciple once but a woman got in the way. He also revealed that Francois Mackandal had been his mentor and an Assassin but he failed because a woman had betrayed them and he died.

After the poison wore off I had to kill the bodyguards in the area. As I fought, Baptiste said that Agate had trained me well but he will not let me interfere with their plans.

Once all the bodyguards were down, I then had to fight the fake. It didn’t take too long and I took him down.

As he laid dying, he said that Agate had betrayed him again. He then mentioned that he knew the locket that Aveline wore. It was the same one that the woman Agate had betrayed him for had worn. Aveline tried to question him further, but he died. What does that mean? I think the locket belonged to her mother... (S2/M6: Eve of Saint John - Complete)

After I killed the fake, I had a new directive to find and kill CitizenE. I had to use my Eagle Vision to find him blending in with the other people. He kept saying that he will help me uncover the truth.

One I did locate him and kill him a screen popped up with a lot of numbers and script at the bottom saying that Abstergo was trying to hide the truth and that he had hacked the truth back into the game. I will have to track down Citizen E in different places and see the truth.

It then replayed the scene from before between Baptiste and Rafael but there was more to it. Like certain phrases and scenes had been taken out to hide something, In the scene, it had Baptiste talking about poisoning the nobles in New Orlenes and freeing slaves like his mentor wanted. He also wanted to be inducted into the Templar Order. That hadn’t been said before. (Citizen E Side Quest Encounter #1 - Complete)

Nearby there was the witch doctor who told me that there was an infection going around and they needed medicine from a rare fungi. He would go look for it but wasn’t as young as he had been. So he needed my help.

I then had to race around a short area to get 3 mushrooms in the time limit. They were easy enough to find. I then had to race back to the witch doctor.

I got back and the witch doctor and he wanted me to administer the antidote to them. But because they were swinging their arms around and being crazy, so I had to hit them and knock them to the ground. Once I gave them the medicine, they were better if not moaning in pain from kicking their ass. The witch doctor said that there were others around that may need help, so if I find a mushroom I’ll find a person nearby. So I can do this quest many times. (Bayou Fever Side Quest - complete)

I went back to the mentor, Agate and Aveline told him that the imposter was dead and had been working with Rafael. She looked like she wanted to ask about the woman that Baptiste had mentioned that may or may not be her mother, but instead told him that he had been trying to make him come out of hiding. Agate said that if that had happened the Brotherhood would have been in danger but now the bayou is safe. (S2/M7: The Whole Truth - complete).

In the loading screen there was some memory notes that said that the relationship between Aveline and Agate became strained after she learned that he knew her mother, Jeanne, but never said anything.

It was now 3 years later from where I had been before. Things were now different in New Orleans, the french colony was now under Spanish rule. The first thing I did was unlock another dressing room and I changed the color of my Lady’s dress to blue.

I made my way down to the dock where I had to talk to one of the ship’s crew members to ask where the captain was. Aveline flirted a bit and asked him and he said he was at the tavern.

So I had to go through the town and find the tavern and I found him on the ground outside, drunk as a skunk. And he was very vulgur. Aveline didn’t beat around the bush and asked about Rafael Joaquin de Ferrer.

Captain Dominguez said that he pays for transport to and from New Orleans and that was it. He didn’t know anything else about him, only that he was very secretive. With nothing else to learn, Aveline bid him good day and he just fell back on the floor and continued his drunken singing.

After that I just went around buying more dressing rooms and then ended. I think I got some headway and clearly something is going on. I just wonder what actually happened to Aveline’s mother and if there was a reason why Agate didn’t tell her about her mother. We’ll have to see. Until next time, Happy Gaming!

#phoenix be gaming #gaming #gameplay #playthrough #game #games #video games #gamer #gamer fun #gamer girl #gamer life #Entertainment #Assassin's Creed III Liberation #PC Games #Steam Games #Nothing is Queue Everything is Permitted

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