13.09.23, wednesday

today’s one of those days again, I feel like I’ve hit a wall with everything I’m doing and I also have a headache, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get all my courses done and everything suuucks. I need to send some emails tmrw bc I’m confused about so many things

things done today:

2h of coding (ish, bc of the aforementioned wall so it was a lot of ”how the fuck” googling and thinking)

gym workout

sent an email (one less email for tmrw yay, was the one I’m second most stressed about)

i propose that we put our motorcycling guys in the most boring mundane forgettable profession ever as an experiment because then that would truly bring out their insanity i think their irl job already offsets just the sheer wacko crazy hijinks that their minds get up to like we can excuse it as haha he's a rider ofc he would do that :) but in like a fucking office desk job you really have no excuses but also all the excuses for inflicting your funhouse mirror of a brain onto other people just to feel something amplified by the utter mind numbingly non stimulating for the cortices environment that is an office cubicle

Hey, if you struggle with drinking plain water, drink whatever the fuck you want. Flavored water, bottled tea, lemonade, gatorade, fruit juice, soda, whatever. Avoid too much coffee if you have anxiety disorders or psychosis (caffeine makes the symptoms worse, which more people need to be aware of) and alcohol isn't a suitable substitute for water for a lot of reasons, but beyond that, just drink what makes you happy and plenty of it.

The idea that plain water is the only way to hydrate and that anything else is dehydrating is largely a myth that leads to even more people becoming dehydrated. Water is water. Get it into your body however you want.

beloved mutuals wish me luck i have an interview in 20 minutes

super fresh plotting call

TODAY KIND OF SUCKS. migraine wise. well i’ll suffer through it

the hardest part abt having cavities is that I can't have a little treat even tho I so deserve it

all else alside genuinely always baffled when people say "canonically when tim is sleep deprived and exhausted, he'll fall asleep at random/inconvenient places" as an argument AGAINST him drinking a lot of caffeine

I don’t want to be insignificant please don’t let me be insignificant

i wish i could enjoy leverage but so much of that show is watching bad people getting their comeuppance in terribly uncomfortable ways and rather than deriving any pleasure from this, my anxious brain just kicks into overdrive of "what if that happened to us"

My dad will just drop some shit on me like "Yeah you know how I'd let you get non-diet soda as a kid? It's bc I wanted you to get super hyper before I dropped you back off with your mom so she'd have to deal with it :)" and expect me to laugh along like that isn't super fucked up and evil like what the actual fuck is his problem

YOU WERE THE ONE RUNNING AROUND THE CAMPUS EARLIER?!?! Also I may have accidentally started the cryptid name "manic of kadic" about you, oops lol-- you sure made a name for yourself though, buddy! Nice one! :P

CHRIST, I KEEP FORGETTING PEOPLE ARE ON HERE!

Thankfully, I bribed the local news kids into not putting my name into the school paper because of that, I already have enough trouble with that incident being associated with this tumblr, but PLEASE! I DID NOT MEAN TOOOOOO! I AM A GHOST! DO NOT MENTION ME TO ANYONEEEE!!!!!!! PLLLLLLLLLLEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEE!!!!!!

happy morning I'm sooo normal and can be trusted with caffeine . don't pay attention to the full 20liter jug of espresso behind me

There's something refreshing about how Juri's reluctance to make friends was less "What if they don't like me?" and more "I know I struggle with my temper because of my mental illness, and I know I'll inevitably get mad about something and end up hurting them".

Characters who are afraid of being disliked because of their personality, or who are socially anxious in general, are pretty common, but it's not often that I see characters who are scared of being the one to hurt others with their personality. I love how the story digs into that, with all of the ugly parts and anxiety that come with it-- especially where we get to see that Juri does end up making friends she loves, who love her in kind, and who help her learn to manage her problems.

boop

boop! :)

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