Asked my parents to come up and help me take a huge pile of stuff to the thrift store this weekend, I know my mom is gonna snark about me “purging stuff” from the house before I move but I don’t even have a lot of stuff, it just seems like a lot because it’s a small apartment.
Also if people my age and younger got rid of stuff every time we moved we would basically have nothing because none of us are living in the same place for 20+ years.
I lived in my college apartment for 4 years, my last apartment for almost 6, and my current one just passed 3, like, sorry I want to keep all my art and photos and souvenir cups and fluffy pillows and lamps. Just because I can survive with the “bare essentials” doesn’t mean I want to.
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This home in Los Osos, California is a case of rich people not knowing what kind of decor they want. Zillow calls it a “Mediterranean Castle.” Whatever. It’s $2.9M and is a study in ostentation. You’ll love it.
Firstly, I wouldn’t want to climb all these steps to get into a house, no matter how they’re illuminated.
This is outrageous. Who intentionally builds a house w/stairs like this? Where’s the mailbox?
Anyway, let’s imagine that we climbed up to the front door, I’m needing oxygen, and we’re hitting the intercom button on the right. (My house had that same intercom and it was so dated, people made fun of it.)
As soon as we enter the foyer, we can see how confused they are. There’s a big medieval soldier with a serene Zen motif, neither of which is Mediterranean.
Notice the tile work, the columns (still no Mediterranean) and the bright red carpet.
I’m so confused. The fireplace has gryphons and I thought it was Egyptian, but it’s painted bright red. I give up w/this house, already.
Persian rug, Italian or French statue.
The Buddha and a Chinese dragon, plus a statue on a Greek column that bears a resemblance to Puss in Boots. Also, more stairs just to get up to the kitchen.
The backsplash isn’t Mediterranean, or is it? I’m so confused.
The dining room. This decor is a League of Nations style.
Now, they tell me there’s an elevator.
Going down more stairs, we pass by some kind of a balcony.
And, out to a very Zen meditation room.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hot tub w/so many jets. I’m afraid of it.
Here’s a bathroom- is that a horse in a coral in the ceiling light?
Look at the closet doors. Are those posters?
Family room, maybe?
This is the balcony we saw before. There’s a French tapestry.
So, this would be the main bd.
And, the en suite.
Looks like a home office.
And, a shower.
Another office? Look at this fireplace. I can’t even.
Well, right about now in the tour, I feel like I need a drink.
WTH is this?
Wine room? With a stage?
Maybe a guest room.
A studio?
I guess the rough terrain doesn’t allow for a yard, so there’s a deck. I hate this house.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2743-Rodman-Dr-Los-Osos-CA-93402/15447453_zpid/?
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@kimchaybrainrot!! You had a birthday!! sorry it’s a day late BUT I have some soft kimchay headcanons JUST FOR YOU!
When Chay starts staying at Kim’s place, when he wakes up in the morning he says “I’m hungry what’s for breakfast” and this sends Kim spiraling down through guilt memories. He decides then that he’s never going to ever ask Chay to make them breakfast.
The problem is he wants to have a nice quiet morning at home cuddling with Chay, but he doesn't keep a lot of food on hand. He usually just grabs a protein bar on his way out the door and orders in for his other meals. So for that first day he orders them coffee and pastries from the cafe down the street, but any breakfast food more substantial than pastries always arrives cold so this isn’t a great long term solution.
BUT fear not, Kim is a PROBLEM SOLVER. He decides he’s going to learn how to cook breakfast for Chay so that they can spend the mornings cuddling in their pajamas AS IT OUGHT TO BE.
The problem is, he’s never so much as cracked an egg before. When Chay isn’t around (because gosh, Kim isn’t going to let Chay see him fucking up miserably when they JUST got back together) Kim gets a carton of eggs practices cracking them open and frying them. He’s not a disaster, he has to know how to have a delicate touch for both music and murder, but he still gets some eggshell in the pan and the yolk runs everywhere so he ends up with scrambled eggs. On his second attempt the eggs are burnt on the bottom and raw on the top. On this third attempt he gets it fully cooked, but then the egg is FULLY COOKED and not at all runny in the middle the way chay likes.
That’s when he realizes okay, huh, this cooking thing might be a bit more of a skill than he anticipated.
But he is COMMITTED to not CORRUPTING their newly flourishing relationship with BREAKFAST SINS.
So he cracks his knuckles and loads youtube and gets to work. As it turns out, he has a lot to learn. He’s pretty good at knife skills already, but it turns out there’s a whole different kind of technique to chopping up an onion than there is to twirling a switchblade. And he learned enough chemistry to know what common bathroom cleaners he can weaponize and turn into harmful gaseous clouds, but the chemistry of just making some bread is a whole different level of complex.
He still orders in breakfast for him and Chay while he’s learning and just deals with slightly cold delivery for now, because he’s not going to serve anything but the BEST for his boy.
On the morning he finally feels ready, he slips out of bed early and gets cracking. When Chay finally wanders out he’s a little grumpy he didn’t wake up with his cuddle buddy, but then he’s quickly stunned by the feast in front of him. There are pans of sausages and bacon, and crepes loaded with freshly made whipped cream and fruit, and multiple types of freshly squeezes fruit juice, and then Kim is pulling a quiche out of the oven.
Chay says something like “good morning P’Kim and also what in the world is happening?” and Kim responds “good morning my love I made you breakfast?”
Chay gapes, and Kim realizes he might have gone a little overboard, but then Chay is kissing him and hoisting him onto the counter because Chay is overwhelmed with so much love, but Kim has to stop him because “i love you chay but I am NOT eating another cold and and soggy breakfast.”
All the food is delicious and delightful - Chay would have been perfectly happy with a stack of pancakes to be honest, but the big spread of food is super awesome and Chay knows without Kim having to say it that this is another way of helping them move on from their turbulent start, so he extra appreciates all the effort.
Kim watches Chay eat carefully and glows a little more with each compliment and when they’re done eating Chay pulls him back into the bedroom for more kisses and cuddles and a nap to sleep off all the food.
( And then later Chay will show kim exactly how appreciative he is by bending him over the kitchen counter and fucking him slowly and thoroughly until kim is begging. )
From then on Kim makes them breakfast while Chay sits on the kitchen island still looking rumpled in his pajamas and demanding kisses whenever Kim passes him to use the sink. Kim loves it and despairs because sometimes they get a little too distracted and Kim burns things, but it always makes Chay happy, so its a sacrifice he’s willing to make.
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