#and she just could not understand that the big religious demonstrations are for the people in it not out of it
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Okay, let's see what this village has to offer. NO I AM NOT SHIRKING MY RESPONSIBILITIES SHUT UP
Some of which are moving. Are these things alive?
Awww, they're adorable. I want to take one with me. On a scale from 1 to 10, how big of a blasphemy would it be for me to take one? Are we talking "occasional passive-aggressive remarks from the local priest" or "struck down by a bolt of divine justice from the heavens" here?
Is that "change" as in the transformative process of one thing becoming another? I don't know why but for some reason I was thinking like "spare change". Like this was the god of pocket currency.
I realize now. How stupid. That probably is. But that is what I thought.
Wow, there is a lot going on with this guy. Showed up out of nowhere one day and spread a global curse in order to motivate people to come beat the shit out of him. This reeks of barely knowing the important details of a complicated situation.
So this is really her quest, and we're just along for the ride. Got it. Kinda makes me wonder why she isn't the main character but I digress.
Wow okay so I really am just along for the ride. I'm here for shits and giggles. An optional companion picked up along the road with no actual stake in anything going on. Alright. Good to know.
So that's the place, huh? I like how everything that's frozen in time turns pitch black. It's a neat visual effect given the stylistically limited color-scale.
Not sure how this is gonna work. If the place is frozen in time then are we going to become frozen in time when we step inside of it?
No, I don't think that's how the metaphysics work out. There's a frozen woman in town whose wife made a pretty necklace to put around her neck, and she was able to touch her frozen wife without being frozen herself. So it's not, like, contagious or anything.
We should be fine.
To be fair, it's the House of Change. The from-what-I-can-tell central religious authority on a belief system modeled entirely around change.
Not all change is good. If the purpose of our faith is a reverence for change itself as a principle then we must understand that both kinds of change, both for the better and for the worse, are nonetheless forms of change. In a sense, by becoming twisted into the structure we see before us, the House is itself continuing to fulfill its central purpose.
Of course, the time freeze is itself anathema to the House's main function. By definition, something that is frozen in time can never change, and therefore the House can no longer demonstrate its purpose.
Then again... would it not be demonstrative of the House's purpose if the House's purpose itself were to change? Thus, by ceasing to be the House of Change and instead becoming the palace from which all time will freeze, the House of Change could be argued to be embodying its own principles to the most extreme degree.
Of course, by the same token that lets us argue that the King is acting as arbiter of Change, it remains true that we will be acting as arbiters of Change when we kick his teeth in tomorrow and undo the time freeze. Change as a concept carries no moral component.
...
I'm sorry, I should probably be having this conversation with Mira. Have a good day, ma'am.
Oh, this must be the shop. Alright, I have a job to do in here.
There she is. Ahem.
WHAT'S UP MADAM CROCOLICIOUS, HOW'S LIFE!?
......
Odile. A very respectful "How do you do this afternoon, Madame Odile?" to you or whatever.
More than that, I am here on a very important mission:
Explain to me how you came by the title of Madame and what I need to do to have a cool title like that. I'm super jealous.
Yeah, I've been thinking on that. A bit rude. If the King's goal is to freeze all of time then it seems hypocritical for the Sadnesses not to be frozen in time.
Then again, I may just be misremembering some details of how Sadnesses work. I'm still groggy.
Right! Right. That's my job in the group. I'm the trap guy. It's my job to step in the trap because my reflexes are the sharpest. Plus I have no stake in this so I'm super-expendable. Got it.
Okay, so I'm the Trap Pincushion and you're on Bestiary duty. That makes sense. My Pocket Notes said you're a researcher, so this is all clicking.
Is your field of research vagueness itself? Are you studying the psychological effects of an unexplained curiosity among a test body of people? Posing your field of research as a riddle for the sake of examining the behaviors that the riddle manifests in the rest of us?
...
Or is this just really funny to you? Because I can see either being plausible.
That'll be fine. I found a killer patch of grass for snoozing. I can probably just sleep there and let the rest of you bicker about the beds.
I mean. Worse comes to worse, we can always play Rock Paper Scissors over it.
Alright. One down. Back to pokin' stuff.
( 'O' )
IT'S PERFECT
YOU ARE GOING TO GROW UP TO BE AN INCREDIBLE ARTIST
I will store this with my Pocket Notes so I never forget what my team looks like. That sounds like sarcasm but it is in fact a valid concern. Thank you so much, you brilliant and talented child!
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Leverage Breakfast Club AU:
Brain - Hardison
ubergenius, is in detention for suspected hacking to change everyone's grades to an A in a class with a nasty teacher, but no one can actually prove it was him so they just officially busted him for like skipping class or whatever. He enjoys orchestra and computer class but is generally not very popular and most of the classes aren't super interesting to him.
Outcast - Parker
just kinda shows up places, including detention sometimes. will sketch the people in there, steal all their stuff, return some of it maybe. is basically only in school because her mentor told her she should graduate, main focus is on becoming a better thief.
Princess - Sophie
always tries out for school plays and fails miserably, but is very successful at playing the role of popular student. Not really sure what her own identity is, does things she doesn't even care about to fit in and then agonizes over it a little - but its so much easier to just be what people want and then get what she wants by making them like her, than to be genuine. In for skipping class.
Jock - Eliot
Popular, good at sports, but his family is strained (financially/parentally) and he has a lot of toxic masculinity influencing him from his dad. Constantly feels like he should be doing more, being more of a man, is ashamed of liking stuff like home ec for more than just the hot teacher, enjoying nerdy movies, etc. If he catches himself doing something that doesn't fit his dad's ideals often overcompensates in the other direction. In for bullying someone together with other members of the football team.
Rebel - Nate
....although he's mainly just the rebel in the sense that he constantly and willfully pisses off the teachers he dislikes, plus has shady family connections. He's very good in class, chess club, religious and generally kind, and considers himself definitely morally superior to these people (at first), but also can be extremely nasty if you piss him off
Principal - Dubenich
Wants to keep tight control over the school, and gets extremely pissed off when things don't go his way, but can actually be rather manipulative
Janitor - ???
I tried to think of a character who could fill that sometimes friendly but sometimes antagonistic role (but who recognizes them for who they are and demonstrates understanding/support in the end) and I was just coming up with Sterling. Which could work but he's not really a supporting character/he's do ambitious the role doesn't fully seem to fit him especially if I want him and Nate to have a significant relationship
.
Some story beats:
Sophie secretly really admires Parker for being herself so unabashedly, but also feels like she needs to help her learn to fit in for her own good. Parker doesn't fully even conceive of herself as a person so much as a tool still being molded a lot of the time, so this admiration is unexpected
Hardison/Eliot bickering that is tense between like bullying but also maybe a little bit of flirting and also maybe a respectful rivalry sort of sometimes, or recognizing they could be good friends if not for Eliot's hangups (+maybe Hardison being defensive)
Nate and Sophie have some UST built up but each are hesitant to engage with the other and tend to argue when they talk for any length of time
Eliot and Sophie travel in some of the same social circles but haven't interacted much. They're both decent at sniffing out a fake and recognize that in one another but till now its only made them want to stay away, not relate to each other
Hardison has had a big crush on Parker for a while but has no idea what to talk to her about and she hasn't really noticed him much
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astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 1)
neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.
neptune in the 1st house
tends to be the kind of person who waits and sees, but your outward behavior doesn’t begin to describe what goes on inside. you feel connected to your environment because you’re aware of subtle energies, you pick up impressions from others they’re usually unaware to be giving. you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of knowing (beyond a verbal level) what others’ unconscious motivations are, what’s hidden behind their civility. you tend to be very idealistic, preferring to live in harmony: peaceful non-demanding relationships and quiet and aesthetically pleasing surroundings. you choose to think kindly of others, whether they reciprocate or not; your sensitivity gives you a natural compassion. you can be most charming, often whimsical, sometimes romantic, and usually empathic. you seem approachable and often receptive to a degree others find startling and deeply gratifying (if not a little scary lol). you want life to be perfect for yourself and others, and your desire for a better world can be channeled into artistic creative pursuits, social work, or mere daydreaming.
you often struggle with personal identity. you may be so open to others that you pick up their moods without realising it. you tend to mimic, unconsciously, the strong characteristics of the last person you were with. don’t become an emotional sponge; define your emotional boundaries and accept it is necessary for your growth to establish a firm identity. another thing i noticed about you is that you guys don’t mind suffering; no, i’m not saying you don’t hate it (everyone does!) but you seem to accept it when you don’t have to. you put others first and feel that it’s best to sacrifice your own well-being than to be responsible for someone else’s suffering.
there’s almost always a strong awareness of and interest in spiritual energies with this placement. you may actually be psychic, whether or not you’re comfortable with the ability. you may deeply religious, although not conventionally since institutions don’t satisfy you; you feel at home with a belief system you know, from personal experience, exists. your lack of interest in the real world can lead you into seriously bad habits like drug abuse or eating disorders and due to your dislike of physical activity, this can quickly damage your (often sensitive) health. alternatively, this placement can also lead to arrogance, depending on the sun and midheaven placements/aspects.
neptune in the 2nd house
you tend to be idealistic with the use of money and personal resources, not terribly attached to them. you look at them as temporary and although sad to part with something you own, you can let it go where others simply cannot. there’s an indifferent attitude towards finances, income and etc. some of you are v generous and will give things away to people who can truly admire it, believing nothing truly belongs to anyone. this outlook satisfies you greatly, making you easygoing but also easily being taken advantage of. this sort of gives you a fairy-tale attitude towards your money - it’s either always there when needed, or simply one of the world’s idiotic, materialistic preoccupations. you may be unpractical or simply forgetful with resources; not willing to sit down and figure what’s the best buy and choosing to go with intuition. purchases usually go by what you want rather than what you can afford (my friend has no idea how much is on her bank acc and doesn’t care to figure it out. she just doesn’t care lol). you should actually read the small print in contracts and not trust just anyone with your money.
alternatively, there may be a strong tendency to overvalue material things (neptune = beliefs in the house of money and possessions), specially if there’s an earth emphasis in the chart, making you inclined to putting great care and time into upkeep. you usually want your things to look aesthetic™️.
there’s also a strong creative tendency; it may be expressed in various forms but it will certainly be inherent. you need at least periodic access to music and inspiration, including the outdoors where you can soak up peace and serenity. since the 2nd house also relates to sensual pleasures, you probably expect these to provide a kind of ultimate ecstasy. in short, this placement forces you to face up to your tendencies to create illusions about money, possessions, sex, or creative pursuits. don’t expect more from them than they can provide.
neptune in the 3rd house
on one level, this placement can confuse and scatter the brain, giving it vagueness and disorganized thinking. sometimes, however, the mind exhibits uncanny insights into the subtleties of the environment. you sense the hidden nuances and meanings behind what’s being said. what you miss in terms of precise analytical ability, you can by being able to view the big-picture more clearly. there’s a danger to this however; your desire to view what’s beautiful and ideal around you can give a kind of selective perception in which only the good is seen and what doesn’t fit into that is ignored.
you don’t usually feel comfortable expressing yourself through normal channels of communication. what you have to say can be better demonstrated through dance, poetry, song, or picture (painted or taken). there’s often a shyness in the early school situation, which manifested in mental illness (my friend has dyslexia and this was a hard time for her) or simply confusion.
since this house also rules siblings, there may be some sacrifices to be made in relation to them; they may be a problem or have difficulties. since neptune fuses the boundary between the self and others, you may feel you’re responsible for their problems or everything which happens in the immediate environment (also ruled by the 3rd). if you don’t have siblings, you probably longed for the companionship of it, an idealized vision of what a sibling is. i also noticed this neptune placement showing exceptional ability as teachers - specially working w children who have learning difficulties. they can understand ways to communicate with and understand the child better than anyone else.
neptune in the 4th house
i have this one and it’s a loaded position: an unconscious planet in an unconscious house. to feel safe in a secure nest is fundamental, though that’s often quite unconscious. your idea of haven includes a lovely home, w lots of food and someone who will take care of your needs. there’s an assumption that the mother, early home life and emotional security all need to be perfect. that is, all needs will be met with ease, and there’s no upset or disappointment in these areas. the mom or other primary caregiver, is supposed to be there when needed, regardless of other commitments. the illusions connected to the 4th house (remember, neptune refers to illusions which must be exposed and released) are deeply intimate; and any threat to them is profoundly threatening to you.
neptune in the 4th generally has to overcome the strong need for the nurturing parent to not only be perfect but to continue being so into your adulthood. you have great difficulty separating from them; you may never fully do it. it doesn’t matter if they actually lived to your expectations, for their importance is in your head - the parent you idealized or pretended they were. sometimes, however, this desire focuses on the home rather than the parent. in this case, the childhood home was either perfect, or mysterious and elusive. you can react by trying to re-create the exact same nest.
with this placement, nurturing yourself becomes the ultimate value, a way to find supreme satisfaction. you can also make the most amazing caretakers and companions. your need to nurture others is a complicated expression of your own hunger to be taken care of; you give too much and eventually become resentful when no one appreciates your (not asked for) sacrifices. you might also project neptunian traits onto your parent; they may be v spiritual and loving, vague and confusing, or even absent, so you were left w only a fantasy of what they could - and should - have been. they might have also been a victim (similar to pisces moon) and you might’ve felt obligated to save them.
you feel like caring involves being swallowed up completely, and it’s something you either constantly yearn or are terrified of. you also feel if your (unrealistic) emotional security needs aren’t met, you won’t survive the disappointment (you did, and you will again). neptune in the 4th can make the most patient and loving parents, w a strong sense of their emotional bonding and spiritual responsibilities. you will do more to create an ideal parent/child relationship than anyone else and constantly remind others of how important it is to strive to be the best parent one can be.
neptune in the 5th house
this combo leads to a definite charisma, an aura of charm and power and importance (timothee, angelina, mlk, drake, etc). it’s a strong indication of some kind of acting ability, though it may be used as a teacher or a salesman rather than on stage. you’re likely to work in some area where applause and respect can be immediate and experienced personally. you need this; neptune undermines the self-confidence so you depend on others’ feedback to measure your worth. this can be a deadly dependency because even the highest praise and respect can truly fulfill the yearning to be loved unconditionally, only provide a temporary high, making you forever vulnerable.
some of the illusions related to this placement include the need to have perfect relationships and children, and the perfect artistic creation. whenever one expects perfection, they’re doomed to disappoitment, although the process of disillusionment may be needed to rethink your outlook on life. you may expect your love life to provide a complete sense of fulfillment. you can make a v romantic partner, the type to love cheesy romantic things and music, who can surround your lover with utmost affection. however, you might also expect them to sense your wishes and always meet them; or expect yourself to always be sensitive and caring at al times, regadless of your moods and/or needs.
you need to re-evaluate your tendency to romanticize lovers instead of seeing them for who they are. you may also harbor illusions towards children, your own or all, which hamper your ability to deal w them realistically and effectively. there’s a difficulty in developing a strong sense of self-worth, or maybe fancying yourself to be far more important than you really are. this placement is associated w a great deal of inspired creativity, however, and if other chart factors support it, it indicates exceptional artistic talent. with humility and self-awareness, you can use your magnetism to uplift those who have lost all confidence.
neptune in the 6th house
w this placement, neptune is in its polar opposite, since 6th house relates to virgo and neptune relates to pisces. this house is about the world as it is and how to manage it in a day-to-day basis. neptunian energy is the opposite: it yearns for and seeks to unite w the cosmos, which transcends this world. how can these two work this out?
when they’re well integrated in the chart, you can dream of neptune while using the practical 6th house skills to plan and organise the dream you wish to make true some day. it can direct the neptunian energy to envision something better, prettier, more creative and inspiring. without this, the 6th house is merely a housekeeping unit - a drive to organise and plan, but for what purpose? neptune supplies it with purpose and the house repays it with practical skills, usually related to some artistic work.
however, if the energies are at odds, there is the need to dream vs. the need to be practical and realistic. you feel a strong need to busy yourself w details and make everything as efficient as possible, tidying up and even criticising others (negative virgo energy). you may expect far too much from others and yourself, never able to say “no” when more work is piled on you. another expression is not being able to keep your shit together; you forget, are disorganized, feel tired and drained of energy, get sick often, or feel generally unfulfilled. my friend, for example, often seeks jobs for its glamorous aspects, only to get swamped by details and routine.
#astrology#zodiac signs#neptune#neptune houses#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#1st house#2nd house#3rd house#4th house#5th house#6th house
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ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.
i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.
then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is
there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.
edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive
and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol
and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).
Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.
i don’t like where this is going…
She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.
so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s
Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.
“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok
And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad).
yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with
Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.
don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.
Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace.
????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself
The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?
this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl
Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.
i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.
The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.
literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.
This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system.
i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.
I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.
or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.
Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society.
and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?
Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.
yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.
Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.
it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.
like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.
I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious.
i was talking to nilish and he said
so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.
Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic.
i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.
I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.
so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.
Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.
edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.
I love this character so much.
clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.
It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,
me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind
because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,
i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.
because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place.
that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of
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GVK spoilers below, about conspiracy theories
I’m gonna get around to posting all my GVK reactions but this one got long so I’m putting it in its own post.
The Monsterverse series, in both KOTM and GVK, has some pretty interesting things to say about conspiracy theories and ecofascism; but, unfortunately, it doesn’t REALIZE that it’s saying any of them, so it keeps dropping the ball and missing opportunities to explore them.
Starting with KOTM, “there’s too many humans so we’ve just gotta let some die and that’ll fix pollution 🤷” is like false ecofascist claim #1 but at no point in the movie was it challenged as unfactual, it was just presented as a sad truth that people have to do morally ambiguous things about. Except that it’s just literally mathematically not true!
Emma could be such a GREAT, believable character—especially in this world with, like, frigging QAnon nonsense getting such widespread traction—showing a compelling, realistic tragedy of how this normal, intelligent, well-educated white mom who otherwise is likely left-leaning (pro-environmentalism, pro-nature conservation, got a doctorate and generally more academia correlates with more liberal ideals) got sucked into a far right ecofascist doomsday militia that combines hokey pseudo-environmentalist propaganda with “in balance with nature” semi-religious mysticism, because she was exploited at a time when she was emotionally vulnerable (when her kid had just died) and was lacking healthy emotional support (when her husband turned to alcohol and then ran off).
... Except the movie never says that her “overpopulation” beliefs are WRONG. It says that they’re RIGHT, and she was just forced to choose between two losing scenarios—deliberately kill most of humanity to hopefully save a few, or watch humanity kill itself.
Nobody bothers to mention that the size of the population isn’t the problem, it’s the disproportionate pollution coming out of first world countries. Nobody bothers to mention that when Emma talks about “overpopulation” and shows a screenshot of an overcrowded neighborhood, it ain’t affluent downtown skyscraper condos in Europe or America that she’s highlighting, but large masses of poor people whose neighborhoods look “dirty” to the white woman’s eyes, despite the fact that they’re contributing the least to humanity’s carbon footprint.
Emma’s beliefs are empirically wrong, and if KOTM had ever demonstrated that, it would’ve been brilliant. Instead, it tries to say “she was right, she just went too far,” and in doing so loses an opportunity to make Emma a deeply believable, timely, realistic, well-meaning but wrong villain.
And now we’ve got GVK, which has swerved away from the ecofascism but doubled down on the conspiracy theories. Here, Emma’s daughter, who was raised for five years with what amounts to a survivalist doomsday cult’s beliefs, when faced with the grief of her mother’s death and the struggle of trying to reconnect to her estranged father, turns—again—to conspiracies to make sense of the world around her. Because that’s what Madison’s been raised with, and even though she got disillusioned with the particular “we know something special that the normal people can’t handle” beliefs that she was raised with, that kind of thinking is still what she knows. She’s still doing what her mother raised her to do! She’s still pulling the “hypercompetent highly-trained lone wolf ‘survivor’ saves the world” shtick that Jonah’s gang taught her to do—but it’s never brought up that it was screwed up to raise a child like that and it’s screwed up for her to still be interacting with the world like that.
At least THIS conspiracy theorist isn’t literally advocating for global genocide. Bernie’s focus largely seems to be on “this corporation is trying to screw people over and screw up the environment—” (because in Monsterverse, as in Toho monster movies as a whole, kaiju/titans and the environment are symbolically conflated, so if a corporation is messing with Godzilla then they’re messing with nature as well) “—so I’m gonna find out what they’re up to and be a whistleblower.” Which is great! Solid start! We’ve got a guy taking aim at big business and who says “when the weather Godzilla acts erratic, it’s not random chance, it’s because a big business is doing something it shouldn’t,” so it looks like we’ve got a leftist conspiracy theorist, that’s different, could be interesting to explore.
Except then he starts talking about governments serving a “global elite” and facilities built by “lizard people” and then we’ve swung right back around to the far right by casually dropping in a couple of antisemitic conspiracy theories.
Add that in with the whole “hollow earth” thing and damn, we’re namedropping a lot of antisemitic conspiracy theories, aren’t we? Granted, most conspiracy theories ARE antisemitic—but like, they could have dug around for some that aren’t. Have him talk some more about Roswell. Have him bring up things that we’ve actually got documentation happened and theorize that MKUltra research was used in Apex’s development of their pilot’s psychic mind link to Mechagodzilla. Have him bring up tailor-made-for-the-Monsterverse conspiracy theories that don’t exist here, “Monster Zero is actually the secret weapon of a nearby ‘Planet X’ that’s gonna invade,” whatever. Instead, nah, we went with the antisemitic ones.
Now, do I think the writers behind KOTM and GVK intended antisemitism? Do I think they’re closet alt-right trying to dogwhistle the fascists in the audience? No, I think they think they’re making fun of—or playing around with—what they see as harmless, unbelievable, way-out-there conspiracy theories. I think they know just enough about “hollow earth” and “global elites” and “lizard people” to make references to them, but not in a way that promotes the common antisemitic understanding of those theories as true. (Monsterverse’s hollow earth, a weird underground jungle where King Kong lives, sure doesn’t resemble the usual conspiracy theory.) To me, the way they were used suggests the writers didn’t deeply understand (or at least, didn’t deeply think about) what the theories really mean—nor what they imply about the beliefs of the characters who espouse them. Which is the crux of my issue with how the movies deal with conspiracy theories and ecofascists and so forth (beyond the fact that, hey, I just don’t like seeing likable characters casually referencing antisemitic beliefs): the writers didn’t think about the implications.
Because these things do imply a lot! For example, if, say, Josh, total newb to conspiracy theories, had asked about lizard people, I would have grimaced to hear it but I would have believed that he’s a teen boy that picked up the term at school and doesn’t know anything about what’s behind it. But on the other hand, I can’t believe a guy so deep in the conspiracy theory world that he bathes in bleach doesn’t know exactly what those conspiracies mean—or, even if he does somehow staunchly refuse to believe that “lizard people” is a code for “Jewish people,” that whatever circle of conspiracy theorists he runs with doesn’t use it as a code. Bernie didn’t pick up those beliefs in a void. I really doubt that’s what the writers wanted to imply about the goofy likable underdog with a podcast.
And sure, the “global elite” and “lizard people” references are presented like a “haha look how far out his beliefs are” joke—the same as the fluoride reference, which is basically Hollywood code for “bogus nonsense only complete lunatics believe” thanks to Dr. Strangelove—but at the same time, they’re never really disproven. Nothing he believes is challenged. Nor are any of Madison’s beliefs that she’s picked up from him. Everything they both believe is either a “wow that’s wild” throwaway joke, or else they’re presented as totally right, e.g. about Apex being up to dubious crap that’s irritating Godzilla.
Just like Emma, who was presented as in the wrong not because she was incorrect but because she WAS correct but took the wrong actions. And just like Rick in KOTM, who kept bring up the hollow earth theory like a running joke but then the joke was that he was right.
And that’s at the root of the issues with both movies’ portrayals of conspiracy theories. Aside from the jokes that are never explored (and therefore, never disproven), the movies say that, every time it matters, the conspiracy theorists on the fringe are correct, the heroes that need to be believed. Even though all (excluding Rick) are characters who have suffered deep loss, who have been hurt, who you can imagine as passionate but grieving people who turned to dangerously wrong extremism in their search for meaning... the movies don’t portray them as people who have been led astray by their pain, but enlightened by their pain. Which is what they themselves think they are, sure, but that doesn’t line up with reality.
The movies never forces them to grapple with how far they’ve gone astray from reality—and I think they should. I’d like to see them processing the revelation that their beliefs are wrong. Whether it’s as big as somebody trying to convince Emma that killing half the population doesn’t fix the pollution caused by corporations rich enough to weather a global hurricane, or as small as Bernie looking at Apex’s financial records and realizing the company’s money is going to the CEO’s vacation home rather than a reptile government and deciding to rethink those beliefs after they’ve checked out Hong Kong.
“Conspiracy theorist is right about everything” is already a common enough trope that Monsterverse isn’t breaking any new ground with it. And in a franchise like Godzilla, whose movies are rife with messages both allegorical and literal about environmentalism, corporate exploitation, the futility of military action, international politics, war crimes... letting the conspiracy theorists be wrong and showing that they’re wrong and what that wrongness can lead to would mesh far better with the themes of Godzilla.
Think about Jonah and Emma unleashing Ghidorah (who emerged from a destroyed ice cap and immediately caused devastating hurricanes—a perfect metaphor for climate change), and what that could say about how ecofascists who purportedly joined the movement because they support environmentalism are actually far more in bed with the destructive industries really at the root of environmental damage... if the movie acknowledged them as ecofascists.
Think about how Jonah collected Ghidorah’s head at the end of KOTM and by the time of GVK it was in Apex’s hands, and how this exchange demonstrates that “I want to unleash titans to destroy humanity to save the environment” Jonah the ecoterrorist and “I want to beat the titans to protect humanity” Simmons the billionaire CEO actually have far more similar ideals beneath the surface of their opposed goals—ideals that have less to do with the environment or with humanity and more to do with securing personal power and control... if the movie had explained how this exchange took place.
Think about how Madison’s mother died trying to mitigate just a little of the damage she did under the thrall of a doomsday cult’s skewed beliefs, how even though Madison broke free she found herself embroiled in similarly skewed beliefs just three years later, and how powerful it would have been if she recognized that she herself had walked right back into the kind of fringe beliefs her mother had led her into as a child, and if she had then resolved to learn how this kept happening to her and break this pattern... if the movie had ever let her realize that she was making the same mistakes, or even acknowledged them as mistakes.
There’s so much potential there, so many things you can see happening right beneath the surface... but the movies never touch on them. And so it looks like, in Monsterverse, all fringe beliefs are either right or harmless. And we never get the “disillusioned conspiracy theorist” story that could be so brilliant and that, right now, would be so relevant.
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Little Book Review: Sin Eater
Author: Megan Campisi.
Publication Date: 2020.
Genre: Alternate historical fiction (?).
Premise: Strap in, y'all, because this is complicated. May Owens, an orphaned teen laundress in Fake Elizabethan London, is arrested for stealing a loaf of bread. Expecting to be hanged, she's instead sentenced to be a Sin Eater for life. This means hearing confessions from the dying and then eating foods that symbolize their sins off their coffins. There are various other unpleasant requirements--speaking to no one except when hearing confessions, being forced to wear a non-removable collar, getting one's tongue tattooed, social ostracism, eternal damnation if one doesn't do everything right--but it does come with free room and board. Then the Sin Eater who's supposed to be mentoring May gets tortured to death. Why? A deer heart (symbolizing the murder of royalty) appeared on the coffin of a deceased lady-in-waiting, and the mentor wouldn't eat it because the lady-in-waiting had confessed to no such thing. Can May figure out what the hell is going on, adjust to her weird new life, and address a bunch of lingering childhood trauma?
Thoughts: Sin-eating, as depicted in this novel, never existed in Britain. Campisi was inspired to write this novel by a real-world tradition that started in and near Wales as early as the seventeenth century, but died out completely by the 1920s. Accounts vary as to how socially stigmatizing it was to be a sin eater; at best, they were poor, disreputable people doing a low-status job, and, at worst, they were feared and despised as people who had traded away their immortal souls and possibly consorted with demons. However, it was definitely not an island-wide, state-sanctioned role that people were officially sentenced to; it didn't require body modification, nor was it solely assigned to women.
In short, Campisi has created a fictional tradition that technically could have existed in Elizabethan London (as it doesn't involve magic or technology that didn't exist at the time), but demonstrably did not. This puts her in an interesting position that most historical fiction and fantasy writers don't find themselves in, because she has the following options:
Write a straightforward historical novel that just happens to have this one weird, fictional thing going on, with no further explanation. This would probably be the easiest option, but she either has to put an awkward author's note at the beginning or run the risk of readers thinking she knows jack shit about Elizabethan London.
Write an alternate history novel in which she explains how her version of sin-eating came to be in Elizabethan London. (Off the top of my head: Welsh people brought the tradition to London and other parts of England after migrating, but it only caught on in a big way as a response to the Black Death, during which time it developed distinctly English characteristics. The pious Henry VI was the first monarch to officially recognize it; however, the crueler official requirements didn't come about until the reign of Henry VIII, for reasons similar to the passing of the Tudor Poor Laws. Edward VI tried to ban it, but Mary I brought it back with a vengeance. Now it's allowed, but only because Elizabeth I branded it as an Anglican thing.) I think this makes for an interesting setting, but it is a lot of work for a story that's really just about one regular girl and some Tudor drama.
Write a story that takes place in a world that's similar in some ways to Elizabethan England (geography, level of technology, etc.), yet is substantially different. Maybe there's a young reigning queen, but she's not the often-disfavored daughter of a king with six wives; instead, maybe she had seven brothers who all died untimely deaths. Maybe the country's been torn apart by decades of religious conflict, but sin-eating is at the heart of the conflict instead of Fake Catholicism vs. Fake Protestantism. This might actually be the most organic way to handle things, but it does put the book in a weird place, genre-wise; people who want to read straight-up historical fiction won't be into it, and people who want to read fantasy might be put off by the lack of magic.
Any of these are better options than what Campisi chose, which is an unholy union between #1 and #3. Sin Eater is set in a world that's almost identical to Elizabethan London, except that (a) Campisi's version of sin-eating exists and (b) everybody has slightly different names. Instead of Queen Elizabeth, we have Queen Bethany, the daughter of King Harold II and his second wife Alys Bollings. She had an older sister named Maris, daughter of Harold II's first wife Constanza of Castile, who was a Eucharist. Harold II's third wife was named Jennette Cheney, whom you might think had a son named Edwin or whatever, but no, she had no children. What. You might also think that Jennette had a brother named Titus Cheney, who married Harold II's sixth wife and widow Katryna Park or whatever, but also no. He was named Titus Seymaur (no relation?) and he was married to Katryna...Parr. Confused yet? Because God is always called the Maker, and clergy are always Maker-men who preach sermons in Maker-halls, but Judas is still Judas and Eve is still Eve. Also, Roma people are called "eg*psies" (honestly, if you're going to make up a stupid word, at least use the opportunity to make it not a slur); it's something of a relief that the Jewish characters are just Jews. Oh, and the whole thing takes place in Angland.
This is some of the most irritating, distracting world-building I've ever encountered. It doesn't help that the only reason for the fake Tudor drama is a rather tired, mean-spirited mystery involving Queen Elizabeth/Bethany's secret baby and Katryna/Katherine Parr's long-lost daughter. And it's a shame, because when the story focuses on May--a lonely, angry, scared girl struggling to do the right thing and make a place for herself in the world--it's emotionally compelling. Her mixed feelings towards the fellow outcasts who start squatting in her home are particularly well-done, as are her encounters with religious outsiders. The mechanics of sin-eating are also fascinating; I liked seeing May visit dying people of various ages and stations in life. I think a person without my exact pet peeves would enjoy this novel a lot more, but it still wouldn't be great.
Hot Goodreads Take: There are many criticisms of this novel that I agree with, such as bad world-building, a weak mystery, a sophomoric understanding of religion, and gratuitous unpleasantness. (I love the dark, I love slippery things, but there was no reason for the tongue tattoo except to drive home that this whole thing sucks for May. I did not need to be further convinced!) There are also criticisms that I get, even if I don't feel the same way; for instance, I like the weird, bitter heroine, but I understand that she's not for everyone. On the other hand, one reviewer states, "I also didn’t care or need to know about the author’s childcare arrangements that she acknowledges at the end of her book." Like...cool, reviewer, but I don't think you understand the point of acknowledgments. They're to thank people. Are you going to complain that you "don't care that the book was manufactured in America, as the copyright page says"?
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A Facebook friend I've had for some years who is of color and produces ample posts about her own racial experiences, whose background is white conservative Christian (she was adopted into a white family) but embraced wokeness abruptly and brains-falling-out-of-head-full-on circa 2015-2016 (I knew her before then), and about whom I wrote this ranty post I'm not terribly proud of, posted something the other day that I found upsetting on multiple levels and perfectly illustrative of some of my issues with the whole "vulnerability is strength" thing I was writing about the other day.
(Yes, I still go on Facebook somewhat although I've been successful at cutting down since January; with so much less American politics drama nowadays it's been easier both to avoid Facebook and to avoid getting upset by bad posts. And yes, I still run into this person's posts occasionally.)
[The below came out blunt and once again uncharitable in places -- it's about someone else's story which I can think of plenty of ways I might be evaluating unfairly -- but it's too late and I'm way too tired to think of a better way of expressing the points I want to get across.]
In her post, predicated with a content warning for "anti-Blackness", she describes an incident of some months ago, when a "white family member" (she doesn't specify how close but presumably not one of her parents) sent her a "birthday gift" which was evidently a journal for Loved Ones Who May Be Straying From The Proper Conservative Christian Path with an exhortation on each page to the gist of "If you're starting to believe such-and-such, come home." She was skimming through and came to a page that said, "If you don’t believe that Critical Race Theory is the work of demons, you need to come home."
Her reaction, in her own words:
I hulked out. I tore the journal in half with a scream and threw it in the trash. I sobbed, I texted my mom and my best friends and proceeded to block all my immediate family members on Facebook.
She went on to defend Critical Race Theory as just a "theory, not harmful ideology"; how could a theory about understanding centuries-long oppression possibly be demonic? She ended with a comment about how her therapist had taught her the importance of "protecting [her] peace" and how this was a demonstration of it.
So, I have a lot of reactions to this. First of all, I've occasionally heard of similar practices of family members giving "gifts" that are basically just overt messages of judgment purportedly coming from a place of love, and whenever I do, my gut twists a little. Like, if you disapprove of the lifestyle or ideology of someone you love, find an appropriate time to tell it to their face in a respectful, non-condescending manner; don't deliver it in the form of a present for them to receive on their birthday of all times. I may be wrong, but this type of behavior seems prevalent in conservative religious subcultures, and I find it pretty toxic. I can certainly understand why my Facebook friend felt hurt and perhaps betrayed, and why she would want to block family members on Facebook.
As for her own described reaction, either it happened exactly that way or she's exaggerating it, and if she's exaggerating it that's almost more troubling to me because it means her post is performative and indicates an awareness of a very appreciative audience. Either way... I can't think of a more perfect example of what John McWhorter describes in contending (among other things) that (1) wokeness is truly a religion; and (2) extremely woke people of color have internalized victimhood as such an inalienable part of their identity that they wouldn't know how to view themselves without it. If someone receives a note from a relative criticizing some of their beliefs, and they completely freak out to the extent my acquaintance described, then the thing being criticized isn't merely "some beliefs"; it's a religion or full-blown way of life that is earth-shakingly precious to them.
Furthermore, it's another example of a minor flying-off-the-handle breakdown dressed up as strength or power, assuming what I like to call a "have your cake and eat it too" notion of "strength" where falling apart but feeling righteous in falling apart translates to feeling mightier or (paradoxically) more unbreakable. Note the use of the word "hulked" in the first sentence of the description, implying power, followed closely by what comes across to me as a sort of meltdown. I've known lots of people who receive disapproval of some of their beliefs and/or behaviors (often by a relative) and respond with a "F- you, get out of my life!" either back at that person's face or (say) on social media in venting to their friends. That's showing a certain type of strength or fortitude, I'll grant that, even though generally I don't consider cursing someone out and shunning them anywhere near an optimal form of strength or fortitude, and I hate the way that anger is being fetishized as the "strongest" way to react to things by many nowadays.
Other people respond to criticism of their beliefs (especially over-the-top criticism like "comes from demons") by laughing and saying, "What an idiot, I'm not listening to them." Again, dismissing other people's views as idiotic isn't something I regularly endorse, but it's sometimes necessary for one's own sanity and certainly can be a form of strength.
But, screaming and sobbing and texting your mom and close friends as if you're in an urgent crisis is another thing altogether. It's something I can be sympathetic about and hope that the person in question gets support in coping with such events, but in no way whatsoever is this a sign of strength -- I think one has to bend over backwards and distort the very meaning of the word to claim that it is.
Her post as usual was met with dozens of hero-worshippy comments from among her hundreds of fawning (mostly white) admirers, which thanked her for how strong and inspiring she was in the face of such "trauma" and, most strikingly, "I love that you ripped it apart!!!! You are powerful <3<3<3<3". I'm sorry, because I know this makes me kind of sound like an ass, but outside of some very different particular circumstances I just can't see physically destroying an inanimate object (that one just received and didn't want) as brave or tough or powerful.
And I didn't mean the quotes around the word "trauma" above as scare quotes: it can be traumatic to have someone who's supposed to be close to you say, in the form of a "gift", that something you believe in is demonic if that belief is something (like a religion) that you hold as close to your heart and sense of being as this acquaintance apparently holds CRT. But -- as I've said before, and I'm saying again -- one's capacity to be traumatized is not itself strength or agency; in my view, the people who call it that are confusing it with the strength in being able to cope and stand upright and treat others well despite being traumatized.
That's essentially a big part of my beef with very one-sided "vulnerability is strength" narratives.
#social justice#critical race theory#conservative christianity#john mcwhorter#how have i never brought up mcwhorter on this blog before?#high vs. low agency#trauma
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hetalia characters as tarot major arcana! (part 1)
(disclaimer my word is not law, this is Just My Opinion. part of the fun of tarot is that it can mean different things to different people)
part 2 part 3
yes I’m making this because I’m a big secular tarot nerd and I need to fill my own niche. I will be addressing common misconceptions bc that is my biggest pet peeve lmao. I also love it when the actual meaning of the card is explored, including the different aspects/shades/contexts... so here are the first 7!
0 The Fool: N. Italy.
if we look past the usual hetare/foolish/dumb/whatever everyone seems to fixate on when it comes to Veneziano, the Fool is actually a perfect card for him. it’s quite a positive card; it indicates going into something headfirst, approaching life with simple joy and optimism, and having a sense of excitement and spontaneity. the fool is about being light and fun and loving the finer things in life! I really feel his history+personality express the mindset of the Fool very well. (and no it doesn’t mean stupid— just naïveté and joy, which is really Italy imo.)
[I actually am usually not mad at who people assign the Fool! as long as you don’t just think it means “the idiot”, a lot of the characters in hetalia could reasonably fit I feel... however I think Italy is the best choice and it all just comes together so well :) ]
I The Magician: America.
the key thing to remember here is willpower, something America has in spades. the Magician is all about manifestation, power, and determination. he’s an incredibly active and motivated character, both history and personality wise; if he wants it he’s getting it no matter what. another part of the Magician is having the confidence to trust yourself to achieve, almost a kind of optimism, and America definitely has those vibes. he’s clearly very powerful and very determined, as happy-go-lucky as he may seem.
[people often choose the ~magical~ people for this like England and Norway but it’s not about magic, it’s about power! there’s nothing quite as Magician as American Manifest Destiny and all the World Savior shit]
II The High Priestess: Norway.
this is a very feminine card but Norway said fuck gender and he happens to embody it extremely well. the High Priestess is a very subconscious, intuitive, almost magical card, and it’s really about having a deep and complex understanding of your unconscious mind. Norway is a character who’s very in touch with that inner self (through his focus on nature as the representation of a piece of land, his knowledge of history and folklore, his magical and spiritual side, etc.) he can be out of touch with reality and often seems to be operating on a completely different level, which imo is exactly what the High Priestess indicates. she’s all about changing the way you perceive and moving to a higher level of cognition.
[lol I feel people just straight up don’t know what this one means. but I’d challenge you to find a character who’s more spiritually/subconsciously in touch than aph Norway.]
III The Empress: Ukraine.
the Empress is another very feminine card and concerns care, nurturing, motherhood, and abundance, all of which describe Ukraine very well. she’s incredibly devoted to her siblings and still cares greatly for them. she’s also really big-hearted and emotionally connected to people, which matches up with this card really well. (also as an agricultural nation the theme of abundance is really going strong for her.)
[another one where I feel people just don’t know what it means. there are a lot of motherly characters but I think Ukraine is really the best fit in every aspect of her character and design.]
IV The Emperor: Denmark.
the whole king of Scandinavia thing aside, the Emperor is the opposite of the Empress in that it’s very much about control and authority. Denmark during the Viking era and Kalmar union is a great example of this urge for power, as well as demonstrating the softer, fatherly side of this card (as a father figure to Iceland and a “family leader/big brother” to the Nordics.) his focus on their familial bond also plays into this card very well, along with his stubbornness and magnanimous nature.
[this is another one of those cards where a lot of characters could fit it? like I’m not super mad at Prussia/Sweden/etc here, I just think they fit other archetypes better.]
V The Hierophant: China.
he’s one of the oldest nations, and is imo the most superstitious/traditional character; the Hierophant is really about tradition, institutions, and mentorship (big brother to the other Asian countries ya feel). China is family oriented and a little old-fashioned about some things, which for sure matches up with the Hierophant. this card is about following the well-trodden path the right way and relying on a greater system than your own. idk I feel his reliance on luck and superstition evokes this card a lot (though it’s usually associated with religion)
[I feel like people just slap in a “strict” character for this which... I mean I love swissaus for this but they just don’t fit very well, the institutional aspect is completely missing. also just bc Romano is religious doesn’t mean he fits this card at all...]
VI The Lovers: Hungary/Austria.
I’ve chosen 2 characters for this because I feel it’s very much about duality, and their relationship demonstrates it perfectly. contrary to what it looks like, the Lovers is not just about romance— rather, it’s about choices and values, especially those that go into relationships. their historical relationship is really interesting and imo evokes the Lovers a lot. why do people choose to be with each other? what about after the spark dies down? how can people reconcile fundamental differences? how do you resolve the past, present, and future?
[ppl exclusively choose France for this which really hurts me loool, just because it’s about romance doesn’t mean France will be the best fit. imo France fits a couple other cards better than the Lovers, also I always love having two parties for this card.]
#hws#aph#tarot#hws italy#hws america#hws norway#hws ukraine#hws denmark#hws china#hws hungary#hws austria#analysis time bby#hetalia#major arcana
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Why I need Reylo to happen and Ben Solo to live in TROS:
I have two stories to tell that will hopefully explain why I’m not neutral about the ending of The Rise of Skywalker. I mean, I’d love to temper my expectations and say that I’ll be happy no matter how it ends, but that’s not true because this story has become intensely personal for me.
Most Reylos and even many members of the general audience agree that the Sequel Trilogy is being told from a feminine perspective. Maybe you hate it and can’t stop whinging about Kathleen Kennedy’s “man-hating agenda” *eyeroll* or maybe your reaction is more F*CKING FINALLY, but either way, the centering of a female protagonist and the fact that Leia is the only surviving member of the OT trio going into TROS clearly demonstrate that it is their hopes and dreams that are driving the story. We have to ask ourselves, what does Rey want, and will she get it? What does Leia want, and will she get it?
**Major trigger warnings for abandonment, loss of parents, terminal illness, suicide mention, and loss of child. Please take care of yourself and skip this post if need be.**
Rey, we know, is an abandoned child. Left alone on a barren planet to pick through the bones of the fallen Empire, she had to fend for herself when she was at her most vulnerable, with no one to comfort her and only the delusional belief that her family would return for her to keep her going despite the intense loneliness. She did find friends in BB-8, Finn, and Han, but Han was quickly snatched away and she left poor Finn in a coma to go find Luke Skywalker. Her story was clearly unfinished by the end of The Force Awakens, her loneliness unassuaged and her growth merely beginning. If friendship were truly all she needed to be whole, then her story would have been over then.
I have a friend, whom let’s call E, an only child whose mother died of cancer when she was a teenager. Now that she is in her 30s, E’s father just passed away as well. She now finds herself orphaned, except everyone treats her like it’s not as big a deal because she’s an adult. But she has no partner, no children, no siblings, not even a roommate, and even her cat has recently passed away. The remaining family she does have is distant and seems mostly to judge her or to want her to conform to their idea of who she should be, how she should grieve, etc. E does have a few good friends, but they are all married and/or have children and this is a constant and painful reminder to E that she does NOT have a family like this. She suffers daily, furious that people act like she should be content with just friends. She tries to explain over and over that there is nothing that compares to a partner, someone with whom she could share the deepest physical and spiritual intimacy, who would choose her and be devoted to her, and into whom she could pour all of the love she has to give. She tries further to explain that even if she puts her friends first, they can’t put HER first because she is not their spouse nor their children; there is no one on earth for whom SHE comes first. E is on medication for depression and anxiety, and has had to back out of her friends’ weddings when they triggered a panic attack. As her friend, I feel powerless to help her in her bottomless loneliness, because I know I can’t give her the one thing she needs, which is the companionship of a romantic partner.
This is Rey. Scarred by the loss of her family and a lifetime without intimate companionship, she cannot be healed by friendship alone when those friends will still inevitably have families who come first. She can’t find intimacy with people who don’t relate to her infinite loneliness and feelings of worthlessness. She shouldn’t HAVE to hold parts of herself back, to give her heart but not her body, or her powers but not her soul. Rey, as the hero of the story, deserves to have what she wants most, and what she wants is a family. As an orphaned adult, the only way she will have a family is to find a soulmate, someone who will be bound to her in every way, who can give her children and hope for the future. Not every woman wants this, but many do and Rey certainly does. Rey’s journey constantly centers around LIFE and CONNECTION: she is overwhelmed by the verdant green of Takodana, and surrounded always by life-giving, feminine water. She has connections to every person she meets, but especially to Ben Solo, whom she can touch even across space and time, PHYSICALLY touch because that has meaning, more than simply seeing one another. As a character, Rey is written to experience the fullness of life with an intimate romantic partner, and there is only one person in the story who is her equal. Reylo has to happen for Rey’s journey to reach a satisfying conclusion, and for Star Wars to remain true to its message of hope.
Then there is Leia. Throughout the entire saga, she is the symbol of hope. When Padme lies dying, her children become her hope for the future. Years later, Leia carries the hope of the Rebellion as she escapes Scarif with the Death Star plans. She brings hope to her brother Luke. Her hope helps her rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt, and then again help the Rebellion to victory on Endor. Her hope helps build the new Republic, found the Resistance, search for Luke, beg Han to reach their son, and continue leading the Resistance even when they are beaten and dwindling.
And through it all, Leia has suffered loss after loss.... after loss. Her parents, childhood friends, home, everything and everyone she ever knew or loved.... were snuffed out in an instant when Alderaan was destroyed. That’s honestly a loss on a scale that is unimaginable. It’s like being made an orphan a thousand times over, because everything that might have been a happy memory is gone. She suffered repeated losses throughout the Galactic Civil War, and saw many soldiers go to their deaths. Her son was lost to the Dark Side, her brother abandoned her, her husband left, and then her son killed her husband. Next, she lost more loyal soldiers, and when Luke suddenly returned, he passed away, too. Given all of that, what does Leia still want? What COULD she still want?
For years, I have followed a blogger on social media. Let’s call her L. Like E, her life has been marked by loss: she never knew her father, had an absent and abusive mother, became pregnant at a young age by a man who did not stay with her, and so was a single teenaged mother of a baby boy by the time she was seventeen. L experienced failed romances, had more children, stepchildren, and grandchildren, and experienced several of those children pulling away from her. Finally, her beloved aunt and uncle, who had cared for her throughout her difficult childhood and were more like parents to her, passed away within the same year. Only a few months later, her eldest son, now a young man, committed suicide at home.
Many people choose to grieve privately. L did not, and her pain.... there really aren’t words. I felt that I could not turn away, that I had to witness what she shared and know, even a little bit, the depths of human suffering. I have a young son, and as I watched L share pictures of her little boy around a similar age.... I could only think that none of us is immune from such loss. At any moment, our children could be snatched away in the cruelest of ways, and what would we not do to bring them back? Worse, if possible, for L was acknowledging the historic family cycles of trauma that had contributed to her son’s despair. She found herself asking if she shared any responsibility for his death, and wondering if she had failed him as a mother. She knew on a conscious level that his choices were his own, but still the doubt and guilt gnawed at her. Agony upon agony, sorrow upon sorrow, a horrible unending night.
L is very religious. Understandably, she had a crisis of faith after her son’s death, not least because she did not know if his suicide meant they would be separated even in eternity. She studied, prayed, and consulted with spiritual advisors for years, and eventually concluded that his soul is not in her hands, and so all she can do is hope. She will pray and hope that he is waiting for her in heaven, and live her life in such a way that she will be reunited with him after death. L still has doubts and moments of deep darkness, especially as she sees the painful ripples from her son’s loss spread into her marriage, her children’s lives, her grandchildren’s lives. But she survives with hope for reunion, and I believe in a benevolent God who will give her her heart’s desire.
Star Wars MUST give Princess Leia Organa, its avatar of hope, the one remaining wish of her heart. When everything and everyone else in the galaxy whom she has loved has been taken from her, she MUST have this one thing. Her hope for her beloved son Ben must not be in vain. The Force has to reward Leia with everything she desires for Ben: his return to the Light, his return to life, the joy and love which every mother wishes for her child. For all that the Skywalker family has suffered in their long darkness, their last son must live the full life they have all been denied. And Leia - Daughter, Princess, Leader, Lover, Mother - must have the ultimate victory. Nothing else will satisfy.
I know this all sounds very melodramatic but I don’t give a damn. E and L deserve the fantasy wish fulfillment that may not be granted them in this life. Star Wars, at its best, can do this, and that’s why I love it.
#reylo#reylo is endgame#rey of jakku#rey nobody#rey from nowhere#ben solo#save ben solo#bendemption#baby boy 2.0#leia's son#princess leia#leia organa#han solo#luke skywalker#redemption#rescurrection#true love#a mother's love#prodigal son#true love conquers all#divine mother#divine feminine#the rise of skywalker#tros#sequel trilogy#skywalker saga#skywalker family#star wars#star wars meta#tw suicide
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Any headcanons on the pasts of some of the characters? Like there is the historical stuff but like, there isn't a ton of information that I could find on certain characters like Magoichi (cuz woman lol) and Kasuga (cuz never existed) and Kojuro (since multiple people carried the name I guess?). Anyway, any headcanons on anyone would be fun if you want to add any additional people :)
Ohh, general headcanons are always great!! I’ll just write down what comes to mind! I tried to include their past if possible. (Edit: I won’t tag this post with very individual, because there are simply too many!)
It’s under a cut because this will be freaking HUGE!!
Akechi Mitsuhide:
- he opted for his scythes because his wrists aren’t strong enough for fighting with a sword. he usually uses long weapons and likes the aesthetic of a scythe, cutting down people like corn because they are just as “worthless”.
- his hair colour is an effect of an genetic dysfunction and has been white/grey from his early childhood on.
- he is allergic to peaches.
- his past is a mystery and he will rather die than tell anyone about it (he acutally had a great upbringing with lots of love, but when his mother was killed, he changed)
Chosokabe Motochika:
- has a pet parrot and loves it to bits. Actually it’s a family he cares for and raises on his own.
- his normally black hair is bleached and styled to make him look more like a demon, he once saw a sailor do this with a face paint of a skeleton. Young Motochika was so impressed (and afraid) that he copied the style. On special occasions he still paints his face like a skull.
- he can juggle but not stand on one leg.
- if he gets a partner, his crew has to approve them first before he considers dating
- he fled from home because of all the responsibilities and made his crew his family. That’s why he’s the big brother and not their father figure, he still detsts his own father.
Date Masamune:
- he is afraid of chicken. Nothing too serious but he will never hold one or be close to one if he can opt out. As a kid he got pecked bloody by a swarm of them and he never got over it
- he loves to prank Kojuro and will get hit and scolded for it. Still he does it, especially if Kojuro is stressed to make him laugh.
- he doesn’t like the most types of sweets and dislikes honey. But he can bite into a lemon and keep a straight face.
- he upholds traditions and visits the shrines of his province on a regular basis. The priests know not to bother him with bad omens as he might be traditional but not really religious.
- he has a knack for learning languages and can imitate most dialects of Japan.
Fuma Kotaro:
- he is the funniest guy alive!! This man can tell the best jokes and keep a straight face while doing so.
- he has a small family that he loves to bits. Whatever his parents want from him, he will do it.
- he was raised strict (outside) and very beloved (inside), making it easy for him to think outside of the box. He follows orders on his own terms and this is what makes him dangerous.
- his upbringing is his guideline for leading his men. He will acknowledge those who follow his orders and will punsh those who don’t. He’s always fair and tries to find the best result for all included
Honda Tadakatsu:
- he can speak if he wants. But often he thinks his opinion is too insignificant to make public so he remains silent.
- to be honest: he is the best singer. He has a nice deep voice and will often hum or sing melancholic songs.
- he trains up to 20 hours per day to keep his body and soul at its peak condition. His training consists of lifting weights, sparring with sword and bare hands, meditation, reflection of his past flaws.
- he is a bit vain and loves to hear even the mightiest warlords praise him, so he gives his all to maintain his status
- he isn’t too fond of Ieyasu’s way of thinking of friendship and peace as he is a man of war. But he would never defy Ieyasu.
Ishida Mitsunari:
- grew up as an orphan and was taken in by Toyotomi’s family. That’s the reason he’s loyal to Hideyoshi. He sees him as a brother (even if Mitsunari doesn’t think himself as a Toyotomi)
- he uses a tachi because his shoulders aren’t the strongest although he has a good core strength. He needs the length to deliver fast and heavy strikes using the momentum of his sword.
- he loves math and can calculate even huge sums in his head
- he has a stutter that gets worse when he’s aggravated and it takes a lot of willpower and concentration in order not to show it too much
Kasuga:
- in order to live amogst men a woman has to be tough and Kasuga went through an even harsher training than her male colleagues, making her harder than she looks
- but inside she is a very girlish girl and wants to be a princess. Uesugi is the perfect prince for this daydream and that’s the main reason she stays with him even if she knows she has no chance.
- she is as deadly as any Shinobi and she hates if her colleagues make fun of her because she shows more skin/curves without realizing this is also a form of camouflage to lull the enemy into a relaxed and trusting state.
- she grew up without parents (as most Shinobi do) and has no desire to meet them. She hates them for abandoning her
- she sees Sasuke as an annoying little brother. Other than him she doesn’t have any ties.
Katakura Kojuro:
- at 5 years old he climbed a tree because of a dare and had to be saved by Masamune’s father because he was too afraid to come down. He still has fear of heights and a horse is the highest he can get without being anxious.
- in his youth he broke every bone in his body at least once. Often there were multiple fractures at once. He was lanky and clumsy until his early 20s and people loved to compare him to a newborn foal, some old people still call him like that, embarrassing him
- he has a good medical knowledge and might have become a doctor if not for his duty. he still is the number one in caring for Masamune and only if he deems it impossible, he will call for a real doctor. Without knowing this, people tend to think Masamune’s wounds heal by themselves and he only needs assistance when near death.
- he is an open book to read if there are strong emotions. Normally everyone at court knows how he feels by just looking at him. if needed he has a really good pokerface, but doesn’t use it very often. He simply doesn’t care.
- his nickname at court (behind his back) is Raba (translating to mule) because he is stubborn and a workaholic. Some even joke about other similarities between them, but these are the most common.
Maeda Keiji & Toshiie & Matsu:
- Keiji found his little pet Yumekichi on a market in Kyoto where he was sold with his half-dead mother. Despite Keiji’s efforts to save the mother she died a few days later, but Yumekichi got better and sees Keiji as his family.
- Keiji is afraid of an angry Matsu and opts to run away from her rather than from Toshiie
- he might seem a bit carefree and stupid sometimes and he admits he’s not the brigthest. But he’s smart enough to survive with his lifestyle in this time and is pretty proud of it.
- Toshiie worries a lot about Keiji and wants him home because of this. He couldn’t bear to lose Keiji who he sees more as a brother than a nephew.
- he is alway asking for more food of Matsu because he’s afraid that one day he might not be able to eat her food anymore. It’s like he thinks he can “save” the taste of it in his brain forever.
- In her youth Matsu couldn’t cook. She learned it for Toshiie and is always on the search for new ideas and recipes to surprise him with.
- she has strong motherly feelings for Keiji with results in her scolding him more often than Toshiie despite Keiji being only a bit younger than she is
Matsunaga Hisahide:
- he grew up without his parents caring too much. But they were rich and he from early on learned that money IS power. People can be paid to like you, to kill for you, to die for you.
- there are many legends about his fight with Nobunaga and both of the most common are actually true. Nobunaga let him live, thinking he was “interesting” but only because Hisahide matched his strength and power, almost equalling the Demon King.
- he is stronger than he looks and is prepared for the day when money won’t hold his army down. he’s a skilled fighter with almost every weapon but he dislikes the guns Nobunaga’s so fond of. They have no style, he thinks.
- what is in his possession will remain there. he will defend his collection with everything he has. This man can go toe to toe with the biggest warlords of his time and he’s not afraid to demonstrate his power over a thing he had almost forgotten. It’s HIS and he will kill for it (or make someone do it)
- he is the most intelligent of them and often ruthless, making him an enemy nobody wants to have.
Mori Motonari:
- if he would live in modern times, he would be the bullied nerd with thick rimmed glasses and suspenders
- he grew up in a very protected house without too much care and love, making him self-sufficient. Paired with his intelligence that almost equals that of Matsunaga, he is a terrible foe if there wasn’t a huge mistake in his plans: emotions.
- he struggles to keep his army in check simply because he can’t lie like a Matsunaga or Oda. he will tell his soldiers bluntly that they are worthless to him when they are defeated. Strangely this statement makes him a good leader who will risk much to gain much. His men follow him because they most often are rewarded for their wounds or lost comrades.
- he has a problem with emotions and doesn’t understand sarcasm. That’s a reason why he hates Motochika so much. But this makes him honest to a fault, too. if someone asks his opinion he will answer truthfully, sometimes making this person change plans.
Oda Nobunaga & Oichi:
- those two are the most identical siblings after twins, even if it might seem different on the outside.
- Nobunaga cares for his sister and doesn’t want her hurt and Oichi is more of an evil mastermind than she appears to be.
- from early on those two spent lots of time together, playing pranks on the retainers and their own family. They grew up in an actually caring family making people wonder sometimes how they became like this when they had grown up.
- the motives are most often pride and an arrogance/belief everything should be theirs. Even the “little princess” Oichi defended her dolls with claws and teeth if she had to.
- while the Lady Oichi hides her true ambition she sometimes is jealous of her brother who shows them to everyone and succeeding with it. She hates him for being a man whereas she’s just a woman to be played as he wants.
- he had many options to marry his sister to but he chose not the best one but the one that would care the most for her. He would never admit that.
- they both have emotions and those are very strong but most of the times they are not controlled or even guided and most often end in bloodshed.
Otani Yoshitsugu:
- with his childhood a miserable time for him because of his disease (leprosy) he hid himself behind books, learning about the world, the history of it and other useful things
- he isn’t the smartest but one of the most versatile to use his resources, making him flexible in any given situation
- he is a great strategist with his vast knowledge and by being able to get in someone’s thinking, he is able to differ his strategy for any opponent. He has a great work of spies and often knows how a lord will act
- he loves being outside in the sun. His bandages are a hindrance to him but he doesn’t dare to take them off. He likes to sit in the sun for hours, reading.
Saika Magoichi:
- she grew up in the same village as Motochika, knowing him since childhood
- as an orphan living on the streets, she tried her best to find something close to a family. She reufed Motochika’s offer to join his crew, wanting to be independent
- she never trained enough to fight with a sword but can use a Tanto quite skillfully. When she heard about guns, she begged Motochika to get her two. Since then she was fascinated by those things.
- while she actually used one of the guns, she completely disassembled the other, learning all about the mechanics involved. by now she can not only build them but also has her own mixture of gunpowder thats’s a bit more explosive than the usual.
- she was officially invited to have a talk with Nobunaga and they remained friends until he died. They exchanged various types of guns and Nobunaga even invited her to join his army as an advisor because of her extensive knowledge of firearms.
Sanada Yukimura:
- his allround emotion is determination and happiness, often getting on the nerves of people around him with his seemingly undisturbed energy. This is only a facade he keeps up in order not to think too much about things he can’t change.
- he admires Kojuro as a man he can never be and often tries to talk to him about his views on the world, hoping to learn a lot from it that would allow him to grow not only as a soldier but as a man
- despite the differences of rank and class, he thinks of Sasuke as his brother and is closer to him than to his actual brother Nobuyuki
- he is not afraid to admit his faults and does his best to learn how to be better. But sometimes it frustrated him not being able to be a good person in his own eyes
Sarutobi Sasuke:
- contrary to his beloved legend of being raised by monkeys, he grew up as an orphan in a village of Shinobi until he was 10.
- he hasn’t many people he really trusts but is relieved if he can rely on Kasuga or Takeda (sometimes even Sanada)
- he loves to spend his free time fishing and is quite good at spearfishing.
- he wants to stay mysterious and doesn’t share much of his own history but his body is almost without a scar while his name is often whispered with fear, showing what kind of fighter he is
- he doesn’t talk much about himself mainl because ther is nothing to talk about. He sees himself as a bit boring and his life is filled with his duties. Sometimes he envies Kojuro but has to admit he would’ve strangled Masamune years ago.
Takeda Shingen:
- he resents his own father and wanted to be a better father to Yukimura, thus their strange relationship despite being Lord and General.
- he likes tigers and had at least one as pet throughout his life, spanning the same tiger family over generations.
- he’s very conflicted about his rivalry with Kenshin. He respects the man as a fellow warrior and even wants Yukimura to be a bit like him, but deep down he never got over the fact that Uesugi killed his younger brother. he doesn’t know what he should do and this is why he stays the same: fighting with him without too many emotions.
- he is fond of horses and is a skillful breeder. His horses are very renowned as the best warhorses. He wants to survive this in the future to remind the following generations of him being a gentle animal friend and not only the warlord (even if he is very proud of his victories)
Takenaka Hanbei:
- in his childhood and youth he was a normal kid, growing up in a normal family. He was never the best or the worst but he got bored of it as soon as he heard of the “adventures” of Nobunaga.
- he always was a quick thinker, not overly intelligent but flexible and in this way outwitted whole armies, gaining him a name and reputation to use for his rise to the top.
- he never wanted to be a warlord. He swore himself that he would be the best adviser/strategist because he thought he would be worth more like this in any fight for survival. Every warlord needs an advisor, right?
- his loyalty for Toyotomi is mostly an act. He hates brutes without brains as it is intelligence that wins a war and not strength alone. This is a reason he respects people like Motonari or Kojuro.
Tokugawa Ieyasu:
- as a kid he lived with dangerous surroundings. One wrong word could mean war and Ieyasu was right between the conflicted sides, making him yearn for bonds and friends he could trust.
- normally he is outgoing but he often still sees the world as black and white, making it hard to discuss things with him in a calm manner. Luckily he tends to flare up quickly and also come down as fast, being his old self
- behind his smiles there is a machine working day and night. he has his goals and will not rest before getting there, sometimes making it hard for people to follow him. He doesn’t understand that fact and tends to think they are against him, resulting in various consequences
- he wants friends he can trust but he will never trust somebody. he did it in the past and he was left down by these friends, making his walls harder and thicker to get through
- his personality would be somewhere between a tantrum throwing child in the sweets aisle and a ruthless dictator, solely depending on his mood.
Toyotomi Hideyoshi:
- with his past an open secret he has no remorse in being like he is, seeing no other option anyway.
- being a ruthless warlord doesn’t mean being without emotions and he still cares a lot for his army. He knows a few soldiers by name and will often wander around the camp, asking here and there if everything is alright or something is needed.
- he doesn’t have friends anymore and the friendliest he can get with someone is by calling them “advisor”, even if he’s not bound to listen to their words. he doesn’t trust anyone around him and this makes him successful in leading an army, not trusting the enemy will make the same mistake twice or behave “as always”.
- he doesn’t know if he should kill Matsunaga for changing him or be thankful. He normally tries to stay away from him as far as possible. He might even command his army to take a detour to avoid Hisahide’s territory.
Uesugi Kenshin:
- he loves to fuck with people’s thoughts to make them think they are smarter/more powerful/faster than him, only for him to strike them down as easy as he can. This is the truth behind his title and his favourite saying about it is: “I can be an generous god. Or a cruel one. It depends solely on you.”
- there are no feelings involved, not with Kasuga, not with Shingen. He simply enjoys his power over them, using them as he likes to amuse himself. At least this is when he’s not defending his territory. Then he will be ruthless and strike quick, not caring much about alliances or promises.
- despite being like that he truly stands up for what he believes, only because he thinks whatever he believes is the right thing. he doesn’t care much about any other viewpoints and can be called stubborn at it.
- yet he has a certain respect for every living thing, even if some humans are seen as cockroaches by him. he would never start a war without reason and even then he acknowledges every death and every wound, making him a beloved leader by his men.
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Affirmation
Pairing: John Seed x Reader
Warning(s): Possessive behaviour, innopropriate thoughts/desires
Word Count: 2,150
- - -
The day is a stunning one, the sky a pure and unmarred blue, pastel soft and light in the slow transition from early to the late morning. There’s not a cloud in sight and the sun is radiant in that knowledge, claiming full ownership over the vast and endless sky as it washes the land in a swaddled warmth, beaming proudly from up high.
Holland Valley is bathed and praised in the golden light, it’s open and welcoming landscape taking on a new vibrancy that has it looking cleaner, touched in a way that religious folk would lay worshipful words and gazes upon. Blessed with a holy vision that demonstrates all of God’s glory and majesty in a single picture; a truly gorgeous day.
While most made use of the new and preening glow to the Valley others continued with their daily lives, a new skip and easiness in their otherwise busy and wary forms. You were much the same. Despite how much you would’ve loved to be outside, taking in the full breath of the big skied county, there was still stuff to be done.
In the modest garage that acted as a makeshift hanger for your beloved seaplane you stayed, the heat of the day invading the cool space as you tinkered away with an content smile and an absent mind. Elora was an old plane, probably about the same age as Carmina, the name of your good friend Nick Rye’s plane, and required quite a bit of TLC.
She was definitely getting on in her life, worn down through the many years she’d been in your family, but still flew with all the grace she had from when she was first built. Old in number, but not in soul. Still, you tried your best with what you had, your modest salary and the little extra you made from the one-off repairs you did for people, helping you enough to support yourself along with your ageing plane.
Standing up on the safely steps next to the wing of Elora you worked away on her, giving her a good polish while fixing anything that looked remotely out of place as you went. A radio was playing in the background, sitting innocuously on a workbench as old songs came through in merry tones. Indulgently, you started singing to the songs and parts you knew, humming and mumbling when you got a line wrong or didn’t know. It was a comfortable atmosphere you were lost in, focused solely on your plane and the joy it gave you.
So lost were you in the moment in fact that you failed to notice the familiar and well dressed man that leaned against the doors of your makeshift hanger, arms casually crossed across his chest as he watched you with an admiring focus. Truly, it would be a shame to interrupt you, seemingly enjoying yourself as much as you were, but your lack of attention had him itching. He’d need to rectify that.
Leaning over the wing of your plane, raising onto your tiptoes slightly as you reach across, you startle at an unexpected but light banging, a knock on metal sheeting. Looking up toward the sound you don’t even try or think to hold back a smile, a wide beam lighting up your face when you spot a man that you would class as a friend standing by your hanger door. It was always an experience when he was around.
“Oh, hey there!” You chirp happily, “I didn’t expect to see you today. How are things? No problems with Affirmation I hope?”
While you and Nick had a friendly sort of competitiveness running between the two of you, each cheering for your own respective planes while still holding a fondness for the other, John Seed was not quite a part of that. He was especially nice with you, a teasing sort of fellow on occasion but still rather polite and respectful to you all the same, but when it came to Nick John could walk the line of nastiness rather well. All passive aggressive taunts with snide smiles and biting words.
Affirmation was a beautiful plane, no doubt about that, but it was hardly a fair comparison when put between two old and weather worn seaplanes. You‘re pretty sure John knew it too, and still does, but you had the sneaking suspicion that he wouldn’t get involved in such a thing unless he knew he was going to win. He seemed a little sly like that, only showing his hand once he knew the game was his, but talk is that he used to be lawyer before coming here so you shouldn’t be too surprised by that. Although, why he directs it all at Nick you’re not too sure. There must be history there you don’t know about.
John chuckles lowly at the question, subtly eyeing you from his place besides the hanger door. “No, thankfully she’s doing well. Still flies as smoothly as the day I first got her.”
“I’m glad to hear it; I know how much you love her.” You can’t help the softer shift your smile takes as you wipe your hands with a stained rag, looking up at him as you do so.
Having the infamous John Seed come to you, a hobbyist pilot and mechanic, looking for extra help regarding his prized plane was admittedly quite a pride-filled moment for you. Why he had chosen to come to you out of all the other capable pilots and qualified mechanics across the county to help him with her you weren’t too sure, but it had certainly stroked your ego. And filled your wallet; John had paid quite handsomely for your time, far too much in fact, but despite you rejecting the amount he wouldn’t have it. He could be quite persuasive.
Stepping down the safety steps you make your way to John, your smile never fading with your rag still in hand. “So, what can I help you with today, Mr. Seed?”
Oh there’s a lot of things you could help him with, John thinks blithely, watching the natural sway of your hips before crawling up your body to the kind twinkle in your eyes. You were too sweet for your own good, an innocent little thing that was always willing to help and sacrifice for those in need. Even when they didn’t deserve it.
John had witnessed you offering your mechanical skills to some of the congregation’s members, your workshop a neutral zone free from discrimination, and it had left him positively warm the first time he’d seen it. Your acceptance of them and, by extension, him was a welcome change from the near constant hostility and wariness of the local rabble. But, that also meant that he had heard the whispers of slander made against you, a relatively new inhabitant to the Valley.
Slander that John knew his presence alone would stoke.
Nick Rye had originally tried warning you away from John, their little rivalry bleeding an growing dislike onto both fronts, but you had stood firm on having a part in this little three-way. John had found it amusing at first – “birds of a feather should flock together”, you had said, looking between them with an cheesy smile, “we’re all pilots after all!” –, but now that amusement was long gone and had been replaced by a selfish want for more; he wanted out of that silly little triangle.
And if his continued presence would ensure that outcome then... well, he’ll be sure to pay you more frequent visits in the future.
“Back to formalities are we now, my dear?” He says with a teasing grin. “And there was me thinking that we’d finally gotten past that stage in our relationship; I thought we were close.” Not close enough apparently, a part of him growls, hidden behind an exaggerated display of mock offence.
Nervously you laugh, head bowing slightly as your eyes flicker away from him, rubbing the side of your neck self-consciously. Such an adorable picture you make.
“Right, ‘m sorry. I guess I’m just so use to being formal with people nowadays that it just slipped out.” Looking up at him from under lashes you give him a small, but guilty smile. “Sorry, John”
Good Lord, what do you do to me.
John runs a hand through his hair, smoothing it over as he gestures dismissively. “No need to apologise, dearest. I understand. You’ve been a busy woman lately,” a grin quickly blooms across his face, one too many teeth on display, as he leans closer with a teasing sparkle to his ocean eyes, “or should I say, deputy.”
You don’t quite hear the way John’s tongue drags over the title, accentuating every syllable, like a filthy secret that only he knows about and can’t help but gloat over. Instead you only groan painfully at the title, shaking your head lightly as your hands come up to cover your eyes, a flush of embarrassment painting your cheeks a pretty shade of red.
Your obliviousness is both equal parts adorable and infuriating.
“I’m not a deputy yet though, John. I’m still just an intern.”
“Well, from what I hear you won’t be that way for long.”
“I highly doubt that, John.” You say disbelievingly, “Besides, I’ve barely been here six months. There’s no way they’d promote me so soon.”
“It’d be criminal if they didn’t.” He huffs. “You’re a hard worker dear, you do a lot more for the county than your woeful colleagues do. You deserve some form of recognition for the work you put up with, a reward may-“
John’s eyes widen, trying hard not to give way to predatory grin just itching to get out. Yes, that could work.
“How about I treat you to dinner?” He suddenly asks with a charming smile, catching you off guard.
You blush shakily. “Oh, uhh, I mean... that’s very kind of you John, but really there’s no need!”
“Nonsense, it’ll be my treat. Think of it as a thank you for all you’ve done for me and the county so far.”
And ‘so far’ indeed; there was no way John was going to let you slip away. You were special, he was sure of it– convinced even. Someone just for him. If he could just land this dinner date with you then he’d be sure to prove himself, prove how perfect the two of you could be together. He just needed you to say one simple word...
Watching John and the hopeful gleam in his sky coloured eyes, plus the burning guilt you felt for even thinking of turning him down, you slowly nodded to his offer. It would be nice to get to know him a little better, maybe even learn a bit about the resident cult that everyone keeps warning and scolding you over. You’d always preferred seeing both sides of the story and forming an opinion from there, even if you’d never act on it once you had one. Conflict wasn’t your thing.
“Okay,” You say softly, chewing your lip. “Yes, sure, that’d be lovely. As long it’s not any trouble of course!”
“Dear, the pleasure is all mine.” There’s a thrill that works down John’s spine, his grin victorious. “How about tonight? I have some work I need to do first, but I could always pick you up if you’d prefer?”
“Oh, no no no,” you shake your head quickly, “that’s fine. I’ll just make my way around to yours. Is about six okay?”
“Perfect.” His grin turns a touch salacious before he schools it back into something tamer. Yes, six is perfectly fine for him. You’ll both get the entire evening to yourselves, no third parties, just the two of you. Oh, the potential mischief he could very well get into with you... such a delicious temptation, if not a reality in the making. “I’ll be expecting you then.”
Emboldened by your agreement John covers the last few steps between you with a new air of confidence, his gait slow but sure. Looking down at your curiously innocent eyes John can’t (doesn’t) stop himself from taking a little bit extra from the moment than he knows he rightfully should; the affection he’s grown for you over the last few months openly raising its head, along with his hand.
Testily his fingers brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear before trailing along the line your jaw, his gaze an electrical blue that thrums with a manic, if not poorly subdued, energy to it that is focused purely on you. Unbidden the small blush covering your cheeks deepens, his sudden forwardness toward you rather unexpected. And for a reason you can’t quite seem to place you’re not too sure whether to feel flattered at this sudden interest he has in you, or absolutely terrified by it.
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honestly though i’m just thinking about the religious concepts explored in the satan pit and especially this:
DOCTOR: Neo Classics, have they got a devil?
IDA: No, not as such. Just er, the things that men do.
DOCTOR: Same thing in the end.
IDA: What about you?
DOCTOR: I believe, I believe I haven't seen everything, I don't know. It's funny, isn't it? The things you make up. The rules. If that thing had said it came from beyond the universe, I'd believe it, but before the universe? Impossible. Doesn't fit my rule. Still, that's why I keep travelling. To be proved wrong. Thank you, Ida.
i don’t know how to articulate what i’m thinking about with regards to this and good omens but it’s. to be alive for that long, for a thousand years or six thousand years, and to still know that you don’t know everything, but surely you have ideas. you have rules that you’ve made up, according to what you’ve seen, because you have seen a lot. and when something happens, when you see something that contradicts what you thought you knew, it’s hard to adjust your beliefs, but you have to, right?
and it’s. the doctor has rules. rules like: there’s no such thing as “before the universe.” but he also has beliefs. he believes he hasn’t seen everything. and he believes in goodness and humanity. and he believes in rose. and when his rules are contradicted, he falls back on his beliefs, his steadfast beliefs. he trusts his beliefs to guide him when his rules have failed him. and that’s why this is so powerful:
DOCTOR: So, that's the trap. Or the test, or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her.
because he knows very little, at this point. he doesn’t know what the beast is, he doesn’t know what it’s capable of, he doesn’t know if it really is the devil or if it really did come from before the universe, he doesn’t know any of it. but he knows rose. and he knows that no matter what happens, he owes it to her to do everything he can to stop this thing, if it’s escaping. he owes it to her to believe in her, to have faith in her. he owes it to her to remember this:
DOCTOR: That's the thing. If I don't dare, everyone dies.
ROSE: Do it.
DOCTOR: You don't even know what it is. You'd just let me?
and this:
DOCTOR: There's another thing the Tardis could do. It could take us away. We could leave. Let history take its course. We go to Marbella in 1989.
ROSE: Yeah, but you'd never do that.
DOCTOR: No, but you could ask. Never even occurred to you, did it?
ROSE: Well, I'm just too good.
and he owes it to her to do the right thing, to trust that she would want him to do the right thing, to trust that if she escapes or if she dies, she would never blame him for putting her at risk. she would never blame him for standing up and making a decision because no one else would. she has the same faith in him that he has in her, and he owes it to her to not misuse that trust.
and it’s the same with crowley and aziraphale, really. more aziraphale than crowley. because he has rules, too, like: we shouldn’t question the ineffable plan. and he likes to think, or he likes to pretend, that his rules are rock solid, but when it comes down to it, his beliefs outweigh the rules. because he, too, believes in goodness and humanity. and he believes in crowley. and at the end of the world, his rules have failed him, his faith in heaven has failed him, and he has to fall back on his faith in crowley.
and aziraphale demonstrates that trust over and over again, as crowley demonstrates his trust in aziraphale. aziraphale trusts in crowley’s plan to influence the antichrist as he grows up. he trusts that deep down, crowley is not all bad. he trusts that crowley will understand, if he tells heaven where the child is before he tells crowley. and he trusts, above all else, that crowley will stand with him at the end, that crowley will do everything within his power to save the earth, because he knows crowley.
In the jeep, Crowley was cursing. Aziraphale laid a hand on his shoulder.
"There are humans here," he said.
"Yes," said Crowley. "And me."
"I mean we shouldn't let this happen to them."
"Well, what—" Crowley began, and stopped.
"I mean, when you think about it, we've got them into enough trouble as it is. You and me. Over the years. What with one thing and another."
"We were only doing our jobs," muttered Crowley.
"Yes. So what? Lots of people in history have only done their jobs and look at the trouble they caused."
"You don't mean we should actually try to stop Him?"
"What have you got to lose?"
this is the end, for them, they’re certain of it, right. satan himself is coming, and it’s the end of the world, and aziraphale turns to crowley and says: i know you, and i believe in you, and i believe in us, and maybe we can’t stop this, but we have to try. we owe it to humanity to try. and he knows, aziraphale knows that he’s right in saying this, and he knows that crowley will back him up, because it’s the end of things, and he’s seen so much, and if he believes in one thing, just one thing, he believes in crowley.
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Every October UCF celebrates Diversity Week. This year’s dates are October 14 - 18, and the theme is Empowering Equity. University-wide departments and groups champion the breadth and culture within the UCF community, and work to increase acceptance and inclusion for everyone at UCF and the surrounding communities.
One of the fantastic things about UCF is the wide range of cultures and ethnicities of our students, staff, and faculty. We come from all over. We’re just as proud of where we are from as we are of where we are now and where we will be heading in future.
UCF Libraries will be offering a full slate of Diversity Week activities. To learn about the upcoming events visit: guides.ucf.edu/diversityweek
Join the UCF Libraries as we celebrate diverse voices and subjects with these suggestions. Click on the link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links for the featured UCF Celebrates Diversity titles suggested by UCF Library employees. These 12 books plus many more are also on display on the 2nd (main) floor of the John C. Hitt Library next to the bank of two elevators.
And thank you to every Knight who works to help others feel accepted and included at UCF!
Girl, Stop Apologizing: A shame-free plan for embracing and achieving your goals by Rachel Hollis
In Girl, Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis sounds a wake-up call. She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams, Hollis identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself.
Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services
It Ain't So Awful, Falafel by Firoozeh Dumas
Zomorod (Cindy) Yousefzadeh is the new kid on the block . . . for the fourth time. California’s Newport Beach is her family’s latest perch, and she’s determined to shuck her brainy loner persona and start afresh with a new Brady Bunch name—Cindy. It’s the late 1970s, and fitting in becomes more difficult as Iran makes U.S. headlines with protests, revolution, and finally the taking of American hostages. Even puka shell necklaces, pool parties, and flying fish can't distract Cindy from the anti-Iran sentiments that creep way too close to home.
Suggested by Cindy Dancel, Research & Information Services
Lean in: women, work, and the will to lead by Sheryl Sandberg with Nell Scovell
Lean In continues the conversation around women in the workplace, combining personal anecdotes, hard data, and compelling research to change the conversation from what women can’t do to what they can. Sandberg provides practical advice on negotiation techniques, mentorship, and building a satisfying career.
Suggested by Katy Miller, Research, Education & Engagement
Out of Many Faiths: religious diversity and the American promise by Eboo Patel
In this inspiring and thought-provoking book, Patel draws on his personal experience as a Muslim in America to examine broader questions about the importance of religious diversity in the cultural, political, and economic life of the nation. He explores how religious language has given the United States some of its most enduring symbols and inspired many of its most vital civic institutions―and demonstrates how the genius of the American experiment lies in its empowerment of people of all creeds, ethnicities, and convictions.
Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
Persepolis paints an unforgettable portrait of daily life in Iran and of the bewildering contradictions between home life and public life. Marjane’s child’s-eye view of dethroned emperors, state-sanctioned whippings, and heroes of the revolution allows us to learn as she does the history of this fascinating country and of her own extraordinary family. Intensely personal, profoundly political, and wholly original, Persepolis is at once a story of growing up and a reminder of the human cost of war and political repression.
Suggested by Cindy Dancel, Research & Information Services
Reclaiming the Black Past: the use and misuse of African American history in the twenty-first century by Pero Gaglo Dagbovie
In this wide-reaching and timely book, Pero Gaglo Dagbovie argues that public knowledge and understanding of black history, including its historical icons, has been shaped by institutions and individuals outside academic ivory towers. Drawing on a range of compelling examples, Dagbovie explores how, in the twenty-first century, African American history is regarded, depicted, and juggled by diverse and contesting interpreters—from museum curators to filmmakers, entertainers, politicians, journalists, and bloggers.
Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
Savage Feast: three generations, two continents, and a dinner table (a memoir with recipes) by Boris Fishman
The acclaimed author of A Replacement Life shifts between heartbreak and humor in this gorgeously told, recipe-filled memoir. A family story, an immigrant story, a love story, and an epic meal, Savage Feast explores the challenges of navigating two cultures from an unusual angle.
Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services
Text Me When You Get Home: the evolution and triumph of modern female friendship by Kayleen Schaefer
From Broad City to Big Little Lies to what women say about their own best friends, the stories we're telling about female friendship have changed. What used to be written off as infighting between mean girls or disposable relationships that would be tossed as soon as a guy came along are no longer described like that. Now, we're lifting up our female friendships to the same level as our other important relationships, saying they matter just as much as the bonds we have with our romantic partners, children, parents, or siblings.
Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services
The Best We Could Do: an illustrated memoir by Thi Bui
This beautifully illustrated and emotional story is an evocative memoir about the search for a better future and a longing for the past. Exploring the anguish of immigration and the lasting effects that displacement has on a child and her family, Bui documents the story of her family’s daring escape after the fall of South Vietnam in the 1970s, and the difficulties they faced building new lives for themselves.
Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
The Moment of Lift: how empowering women changes the world by Melinda Gates
In this moving and compelling book, Melinda shares lessons she’s learned from the inspiring people she’s met during her work and travels around the world. As she writes in the introduction, “That is why I had to write this book―to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life. I want all of us to see ways we can lift women up where we live.” Melinda’s unforgettable narrative is backed by startling data as she presents the issues that most need our attention―from child marriage to lack of access to contraceptives to gender inequity in the workplace. And, for the first time, she writes about her personal life and the road to equality in her own marriage. Throughout, she shows how there has never been more opportunity to change the world―and ourselves.
Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services
Tinderbox: the untold story of the up stairs lounge fire and the rise of gay liberation by Robert W. Fieseler
Buried for decades, the Up Stairs Lounge tragedy has only recently emerged as a catalyzing event of the gay liberation movement. In revelatory detail, Robert W. Fieseler chronicles the tragic event that claimed the lives of thirty-one men and one woman on June 24, 1973, at a New Orleans bar, the largest mass murder of gays until 2016. Relying on unprecedented access to survivors and archives, Fieseler creates an indelible portrait of a closeted, blue- collar gay world that flourished before an arsonist ignited an inferno that destroyed an entire community. The aftermath was no less traumatic―families ashamed to claim loved ones, the Catholic Church refusing proper burial rights, the city impervious to the survivors’ needs―revealing a world of toxic prejudice that thrived well past Stonewall.
Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
Womanish: a grown black woman speaks on love and life by Kim McLarin
Searing in its emotional honesty, Womanish is an essay collection that explores what it means to be a black woman in today’s turbulent times. Writing with candor, wit and vulnerability on topics including dating after divorce, depression, parenting older children, the Obama’s, and the often fraught relations between white and black women, McLarin unveils herself at the crossroads of being black, female and middle-aged, and, ultimately, American. Powerful and timely, Womanish draws upon a lifetime of experiences to paint a portrait of a black woman trying to come to terms with the world around her, and of a society trying to come to terms with black women.
Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services
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challenge iii ( character study. )
001. describe your characters’ relationship with their mother or father, or both.
in regard to alexander’s relationship, he is extremely close and fond of his mother. she has always been the world to him and his number one support. he has relied on her for advice and followed her by example, seeing only the best in her despite what anyone else says. in contrast, his relationship with his father is far less intimate as there are unspoken boundaries. alexander doesn’t have any issues with his father but does not really share the same closeness as he does with his mother. while he may be indifferent generally to his father, he does care and love him. both of his parents share such love and happiness that he is happy.
002. what are your characters’ most prominent physical features? what is a feature that they are most insecure about? what are they proudest of?
he has a very nicely chiseled jawline and a very charming and cheeky smile. he likes his wavy chestnut hair and honey colored eyes - all traits and genetics inherited by his lovely mother. in general, alexander wouldn’t say he has any features that he’s insecure about. in fact, he’s rather proud of his face and believes himself to be very attractive. perhaps the closest things he could say that he would wish he could fix would be the angle at which his ears tilt but it’s severely minor that it wouldn’t really count.
003. how vain is your character? do they find themselves attractive? what is their worst flaw, and are they aware of it?
alexander is extremely shallow and certainly believes himself to be very handsome. he matches his elder brother in height, standing at 6′3 so he’s massive. his proportions are also appealing as his legs are long and his body toned from the outdoor activities in participates in. in terms of flaws, well, he doesn’t really think about it. most of the time he dismisses any critiques as he thinks himself above it.
004. what is your character’s ranking on the kinsey scale?
3 so bisexual, equally heterosexual and homosexual.
005. describe your character’s happiest memory. minimum word count:
there are many good memories in alexander’s childhood which is to say that his mother had given him many opportunities to be carefree. perhaps one of his happiest memories is tied to the time when he was allowed to received and rode his first horse with the help of his father and under the watchful eye of his mother. in that moment alexander felt special. there was no one else around to criticize the trio and it was also a chance to feel like he belonged. it also then and there that he is told by his father that his royal birthright shall be acknowledged and brought to light. he shall be a prince.
006. is there one event in your characters’ life that they would like to erase from their past? why? minimum word count: 200.
there aren’t too many things that alexander finds the need to erase from the past. if anything, he would wish that his mother had been made the rightful queen earlier and that his siblings were legitimized as he was. he would’ve wished that his mother been spared of the rumors of being a seductress and a whore - wishing that she was loved by the people instead. he’d even go as far to say that he would prefer it better if his elder siblings had been spared the anguish of losing their mother by just erasing the fact that their mother was even wed to england in the first place. it would’ve solved far more of the problems (needless to say) much of this is ingrained in the fact that alexander is neither fond of his elder sister or the crown prince. but truthfully, much more of his annoyance is targeted at the latter. such sentiments wouldn’t exist if harry had chosen to utilize alexander as an ally rather than an enemy. and much of this is rooted in bitterness that the crown prince intends on disposing queen isabel and all of her children in favor of starting a new reign.
007. let’s talk favourites! what is their favourite colour, food, and season? what, in a modern setting, would be your character’s favourite song?
alexander’s favorite color would be navy which is usually paired with hints of silver or dark forest green - shades usually bright in color like emerald which compliment both his complexion and his visage. with food, he loves anything with meat, preferring eating pork the most. alexander has always been fond of the summer weather seeing that it’s warmer and brighter. plus its an excuse for him to escape into the outdoors to strengthen his physique and flaunt his body as well. in a modern au, he’d be the type to listen to panic at the disco (specifically) saturday night.
008. can you define a turning point in your character’s life?
when alexander was legitimized, it changed everything. it gave him opportunities he would’ve never been open to. it also made him feel more inclined to devote his livelihood to protect and accomplish great things for his mother.
009. is your character an early morning bird or a night owl? at what time do they get most of their work done?
generally I would say alexander is a night owl, he has always preferred staying up late and enjoying the stars. but if needed, he is also capable of being an early riser though this occurs often with a groan and a complaint. he likes to do his work in the morning so he can have the clearest mind and spend the rest of the day doing whatever he pleases.
010 a. what other character, a npc or someone apart of the rp, is your character completely real with? who knows them best, has seen them at their most vulnerable, knows their innermost and basest fears?
this would easily be his mother. alexander has always been comfortable with his mother and has no shame in sharing his vulnerabilities. she knows his heart well and has always cared for him and so in return, he shares the same mutual affection. while he is close with his full blooded siblings, he isn’t keen on showing them any weaknesses lest they worry for him.
011. is your character a neat or messy person?
alexander is a messy person. he doesn’t care for organization and tends to leave a mess for other people to clean up behind him. he cares about his own hygiene but other than that, the way in which he rolls out of bed unmade is a habit he has long been accustomed to. while he doesn’t bother with doing these tasks, he’s always mindful of thanking the servants who tend to his area so that his space shall be well kept.
012. does your character have any irrational fears or phobias?
alexander’s fear would always been with any threats regarding his immediate family. perhaps the one he worries for the most would be his mother seeing as she is his world.
he is also afraid of becoming incompetent or useless - tainting a legacy that he intends to build for the neville lineage. he shoulders the weight of the expectations and does the best of what he can do. but if were to die without achieving the success on the behalf of his family, he would live with unforgotten regret and self loathing.
013. does your character have an underlying passion or trait that influences all aspects of their life?
most of what he does is on the behalf of his mother - his sheer and utter devotion to make her proud is how his world revolves. he definetly considers her opinions and takes her advice seriously. his neville uncles and aunts play an important role in shaping alexander’s childhood as well and their influence still reside in him.
014. what might your character’s ideal ��romantic person be?
well first and foremost, alexander is very shallow - usually finding appeal in pretty and beautiful things. he is still immature in the field of love and prefers to fool around instead of the pursuit of something longterm and serious.
but i think the type of person that would suit alexander would be older and somewhat reminiscent of his mother (he’s got a big mother complex), someone who he can say nothing and they’ll understand him. a person who will be patient with him when he is confused, angry and conflicted is also a big factor. he needs someone who can humor him and keep his attention span, perhaps give him a run for his money. whoever is able to romantically lock down alexander - well, he’d fall hard.
at the moment he has no interest in commitment and refuses to sire any bastard children so has been in more intimate relationships with men than women. to be honest, his relationship with males are much easier to navigate with women. in a woman, alexander would want to pursue a romance as strong as his father’s and mothers.
015. describe your character’s hands. are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby, dexterous or clumsy? do they wear any jewelry and would they wear polish in a modern setting?
alexander has nimble long fingers and large palms that are softer in nature than typical which demonstrate his privilege as a noble for he never had to do any manual labor. he has a scar running down his left hand from a jousting incident. he does have some callouses from participating in athletics but they aren’t evidently noticeable. in general his hands are rather unmarred and he wears only one ring which was a heirloom from his neville grandparents.
016. how does your character smell? what is their favourite scent?
alexander is very keen on keeping up his hygiene (revolutionary at the time, ain’t it) and making sure he looks well groomed. he likes to bathe with rosewater so usually there’s always a scent of flowers wafting from him. otherwise, he spends a good deal of time outdoors participating in a variety of sports. and so he will have a hint of cedar and pine.
in terms of the scent of other people, he has always liked flowers, particularly roses, sweet peas and lilies. he also enjoys the smell of sweet honey and on occasion a sharper scent like cinnamon.
017. how would your muse describe their religious beliefs?
alexander is catholic by birth and by status but his religious stance is nowhere as devoted as his brother’s edmund. he takes much of what the church says with a grain of salt. he understands that when he is expected to wed, his wife shall be properly catholic and together they shall uphold the traditions of the court. but personally, alexander doesn’t think much of religion. though he does have a fear of God so he’d rather abide instead of fight.
018. what rules does your muse live by, if any?
anything his mother says he shall keep an open ear to. he often grits his teeth at the protocol expected of him by his elder siblings, he follows as decorum instructs. however he gladly disposes of rules in times of favor when he can use his status as prince to do what he pleases (so long as no scandal were to arise).
019. does your muse overshare, or are they more private?
alexander generally is a private person despite his seemingly more extroverted personality. he only truly overshares with those he fully believes he can trust or else he maintains a barrier to outsiders.
020. is your muse a gossiper? are they more likely to argue with their fists or tongue? what does their voice sound like?
i would say alexander is more inclined to hear about gossip to stay informed of the schemes at court but he wouldn’t dare spout nonsense lest it fall into the wrong ears. alexander has both brains and brawns and usually has an even temper so he prefers to spar with his tongue. however if pushed to his limits, he has no qualms in using his fists to fight.
021. is your muse a … pessimist or optimist … lover or fighter … believer in happy endings … believer in love at first sight?
generally, alexander is fairly fifty fifty. he’s pessimistic with the future of his brother taking reign over the throne but optimist that his mother and the rest of his fully related siblings shall secure their places and be unmoved from their positions. alexander would like to believe in happy endings but has no desire to achieve them if such things didn’t occur naturally. i believe alexander would be a bigger advocate for lust at first sight. his concept of loving outside of family is little to none so i do not think he has any care for it.
022. what sense of humour does your character have?
alexander is still rather immature and at times, idiotic. his sense of humor can be vulgar but that usually occurs if he’s intoxicated. otherwise, to those who he finds to be good company, he is rather teasing in nature.
023. what bad habits does your character have?
sleeping around with both married and unwed characters would probably be the worst he’s done. drinking is another vice and has a natural inclination to be a hoarder. he likes to collect useless things especially when they’re gifts.
024. how does your character feel about growing old?
alexander doesn’t mind aging however, he is concerned that when more time passes, his end with his mother shall come nearer. otherwise, he does look upon growing older with an optimism. he knows that he can secure his place as he matures as his relations with most people are well received. he also awaits for a day where he may have a chance at seizing the throne, perhaps proving his brothers incompetence and taking the power swiftly from his hands.
025. does your character prefer adventure to safety and security?
in his childhood, alexander was a curious child who would try almost anything and everything - perhaps panicking the servants and his mother alike. but now that he is older, alexander prizes security first and foremost because of his line in succession as well as others.
#crhs.challenge#my brain almost self combusted at the amount i wrote and also no auto checking cuz my eyes be bleedin lol
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VERONICA SAWYER
6w7
“I wish you'd come with me-“
In response to a question asked over on r/enneafiction.
Veronica’s Six core is exploited at every turn throughout Heathers, the Musical and the clashing of her loyalty to her ideals with the desire to feel safe and secure ultimately results in an abrupt and extreme disintegration over the course of the show.
Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance / Basic Desire: To have security and support
“I wanted someone strong who could protect me…”
Veronica wants, more than anything else, for someone to have her back in a world she perceives as dangerous and frightening. This is made abundantly clear in Fight For Me, the song where she falls in love with JD after seeing him defend himself. The repeated lyric; “I would fight for you // If you would fight for me,” is the most obvious example- the world itself might remain unsafe, but the potential security to be found in another person is a huge draw for her (“Could you carry me through no man's land?”).
This isn’t the first instance of Veronica’s safety seeking behaviour, however- it’s present as early as Beautiful, when she asks the Heathers; “Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone…” Veronica isn’t interested in spending time with the Heathers for the sake of popularity or self-affirmation- it’s as a shield. Beautiful also sees her scrambling out of the way of anyone who might pose a threat (“Oh, sorry!” // “Aah, nothing!”), except, notably, when Martha is the one being threatened, where the first glimpse of a counterphobic Veronica emerges; “Pick that up right now … I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend.” Sixes are loyal to their friends, but also to their beliefs- Veronica has a strong sense of justice and a conviction that things can become better again;
“But I know, I know...
Life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray
For a better way
We were kind before;
We can be kind once more
We can be beautiful..,”
Ultimately, it’s her loyalty to this ideal, and her ability to function counterphobically to defend and preserve it, that saves her and the school as a whole, allowing her to confront JD with the conviction that “his solution is a lie,” despite his repeated attempts to exploit her loyalty; “Please don’t leave me alone, // You were all I could trust.”
Everything comes to a head at the end of Act One. After the events of Blue leave Veronica feeling particularly defenseless, she does what a disintegrated Six is wont to, and latches onto her only source of security; JD. “You’re not alone,” he tells her, an offer of the security she is seeking, but can’t seem to find anywhere else. Veronica finds herself drawing strength from the relationship; “We’re what killed the dinosaurs, // We’re the asteroid that’s overdue,” and ultimately venerates it to religious significance, following JD’s lead; “Our love is God.” But the fantascism of these statements, and the undercurrent of violence present from the beginning of the song, betray her disintegration, and the brutality that is about to ensue. Veronica reacts with horror when she discovers that JD has in fact, murdered Kurt and Ram instead of just knocking them out as he promised, (“What the fuck have you done?”) but he remains her only source of safety, even in a world that he has just made a lot more dangerous- he is still completely loyal to her; “...I worship you // I'd trade my life for yours.” Veronica finds herself, more afraid than ever, but with no other source of potential safety, she continues to answer JD, “Our love is God,” despite the fear plain on her face, and doesn’t try to leave his embrace- letting go would mean facing her basic fear, and being without support and guidance.
Seventeen is her attempt to make their relationship into a true source of sanctuary for the pair of them, appealing to JD’s own strength of loyalty (“Can’t we be seventeen? // That’s all I want to do.”). As a Six, she is unable to make a convincing statement without acknowledging all their past pain; “Fine we’re damaged,” and the truth of more in their future, “People hurt us … And you’re right, that really blows.” The song exemplifies her Seven wing- she suggests shallow distractions from the pain, chilli fries, prom night, shopping for summer clothes- but ultimately what she is offering JD is her presence by his side; “Don’t stop looking in my eyes.” The song is filled with offers and promises of and appeals to both their senses of loyalty; “I wanna be with you,” “Your love’s too good to lose,” “Hold me tighter,” etc. Ultimately, the conclusion; “I’ll stay if I’m what you choose // If I am what you choose // ‘Cause you’re the one I choose.” sums up Veronica’s tendency towards loyalty, but also need for it, perfectly.
Disintegration to 3:
“Dreams are coming true // When people laugh but not at you!”
What drives many Sixes to disintegrate is a belief that they are not equipped to protect themselves. Veronica’s initial disintegration occurs when she joins the Heathers as a direct result of this belief- by Candy Store, she has become image-conscious enough to sabotage Martha’s popularity in order to maintain her own (and thus her own safety.) Big Fun makes it clear that this strategy, though unhealthy, is working for her, (“I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!”) and she spirals further into it.
When disintegrated, Sixes lash out- they divide the world into “them and us,” and can be driven to sabotage the “them,” in order to protect themselves. As she disintegrates further, Veronica briefly embodies an unhealthy Three’s arrogance- taken in by JD’s sweeping promises in Our Love is God- “We can start and finish wars…” and enthusiastic to play judge and jury to Kurt and Ram- but critically, not executioner. The murder is a shock to her system, and ironically, allows her to see the flaws in their previous arrogance; “We’re not “special”, we’re not “different” // We don’t choose who lives or dies.”
Integration to 9:
“Listen up folks, // War is over.”
There isn’t much opportunity for Veronica to integrate, but Seventeen (Reprise) offers us a glimpse- while as a Six, Veronica can’t put her fears aside completely; “We're all damaged, we're all frightened // We're all freaks but that's alright,” this song has a far more optimistic tone from Veronica than anything else in the whole show; “We’ll endure it, we’ll survive it.” Like a healthy Nine, she shows a willingness to let go of unproductive conflicts (“We are done with acting evil // We will lay our weapons down”,) and relationships alike, (“If no one loves me now // Someday somebody will.”) Enneagram institute describes Nines at their best as; “indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts,” and that’s a perfect description of what this song is all about; “Brand new sheriff’s come to town.”
Childhood Wound: They lost faith they would be protected.
““But the sky's gonna hurt when it falls, // So you better start building some walls…”
There’s an underlying pattern in Heathers, like in many teen dramas, of adults who are essentially untrustworthy- either helpless or unwilling to lend a hand to the kids they should be responsible for. This is arguably such a pervasive theme because it lends the teenagers more agency in the plot and gives their struggles more credibility, but in Heathers, this trope is in fact a depiction of a lack of empathy from adults who truly don’t take teenagers seriously, or are in fact outright abusive or neglectful.
In Beautiful, teachers objectify Veronica, or only recognise her once she is important enough to be seen with the Heathers. Outside of her, Kurt and Ram’s fathers’ are demonstrably abusive, and their sons perpetuate that cycle of abuse by taking it out on their schoolmates. They only repent only in My Dead Gay Son- too late. Ms Fleming is apathetic towards the students whose mental health she is supposed to prioritise from her first appearance- trying to impose a detention on Heather Duke even as she vomits from her eating disorder right in front of her. In Shine A Light, her advice to the students is facile, and her motivation is more about performing for the cameras than actually making a positive impact. Altogether, Veronica lives in a world where adults simply can’t be depended upon for help or sanctuary. Her verse in Dead Girl Walking (Reprise), directed at JD, encompasses all this;
“I wish your mom had been a little stronger
I wish she stayed around a little longer
I wish your dad were good!
I wish grown-ups understood!
I wish we’d met before
They convinced you life is war!”
From Yo Girl, we know the situation applies not just to Veronica’s schoolmates, but her, too. The intertwining of her parent’s empty reassurances; “Your problems seem like life and death! // I promise, they’re not!” with the chorus’ building, ominous reminder of the very real threat of JD drawing closer and closer, “Guess who’s climbing the stairs? // Guess who’s picking the lock?” shows that her parents aren’t equipped to protect her. Childhood wounds only have to be felt- a Six can perceive themselves as vulnerable when this isn’t the truth of the situation. It’s notable that despite the present danger, she simply answers, “You wouldn’t understand,” and works to protect herself (“Veronica’s trying to keep him out, now,”) and again, doesn’t ask anyone for help during Dead Girl Walking (Reprise). All of Veronica’s experiences have clearly built her into a Six who feels she has no-one left to trust.
w7:
“Let's be normal, see bad movies // Sneak a beer and watch tv,”
Veronica often deals with her issues by retreating, shutting her eyes to the unpleasant realities of what’s going on around her, with varying success; “Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés // Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!” Her conflation of her own ideals of kindness and inner beauty with the physical beauty she achieves as a result of the Heathers’ makeover is arguably made easier by her Seven wing- “When you’re beautiful // It’s a beautiful frickin’ day!”- when she fakes Heather Chandler’s suicide note, she as much confesses this; “Believe it or not, I knew about fear ... I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes,” although she doesn’t admit this is partly confessional. This isn’t the only instance of Veronica’s unwillingness to confront unpleasant truths in favour of happier distractions- trying to undo what’s happened with JD with chilli fries and dancing seems another example, as does her behaviour in Dead Girl Walking, wherein she opts to distract herself from her anxieties not just by returning to her source of security, (“In here it’s beautiful,”) but with seeking baser pleasure to drown out any pain; “Make this whole town disappear!”
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