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weemssapphic · 9 months

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You Make Me Feel

Larissa Weems x f!reader

Summary: At 49 years old, Larissa Weems is the principal of Nevermore Academy - a successful career woman whose dominating energy demands respect from everyone she comes into contact with. She is also a virgin. What happens when she finally meets someone who wants to have sex (and so much more) with her?

Words: ~6.6 | ao3 link in title

Content/warnings: virgin!Larissa, internalized homophobia, hurt/comfort, nsfw (sickeningly sweet smut) - cunnilingus, vaginal fingering

A/N: after reading Hot Chocolate on ao3, I couldn't get the idea of virgin Larissa out of my brain so... here we are lmao

Larissa didn’t really know how it happened - the years had simply passed her by in a blur. She was a studious teenager, scoffing at her horny, unfocused peers. It’s not that she never had the opportunity, per se - there were boys who asked her out, who tried to ‘seduce’ her in that awkward, teenage boy way. They all disgusted her - she would wait until college, she reasoned, where she could find someone more mature.

So she left Nevermore behind for her studies. Here, the men - if they could be called such - were just as crude, just as unappealing. The thought of being touched by any one of them filled her with disgust.

It wasn’t until her senior year of college, when she found herself smitten with one of her female professors, that she entertained the thought of being anything other than straight. It was a thought that had only crossed her mind once before, when she’d accidentally caught her roommate at Nevermore, Morticia Frump, getting undressed. She’d felt oddly… aroused at seeing the girl’s bare skin - and immediately pushed down those feelings. Larissa Weems was enough of a freak as it was - she didn’t need the label ‘lesbian’ stamped on her as well.

But at the age of 22, Larissa had to admit that it was strange she’d never wanted a boy to touch her. She’d gotten close once, during a heavy drunken make-out session with some boy at a freshman party - before freaking out completely and leaving the poor boy squirming uncomfortably at the edge of the lake. And so, at the age of 22, Larissa finally had to confront her very un-platonic feelings for women.

By the age of 49, she’d gone through all the stages of grief regarding her sexuality: she’d vehemently denied entertaining the very thought of being anything other than straight. She’d been angry, oh so angry - at herself, at the world, at Morticia, at the boy she’d kissed. She’d gone through all the what-ifs: what if she’d made a move on Morticia, what if she hadn’t been so uptight, what if her family had been more accepting. She’d even fallen into a bout of depression, realizing how sad and pitiful she was for being a lonely virgin who hated herself for something she couldn’t change.

She’d finally settled on acceptance. Larissa had accepted that she was a lesbian. But, through all those years, she’d been too busy hating herself and throwing herself into her work to entertain thoughts of actually dating. So now she was 49. And a virgin. And who would want to be with a 49 year old virgin?

Sometimes, Larissa could ignore those thoughts, push them down. Sex and dating aren’t everything, she’d reason. She didn’t need anyone else. She had a successful career that kept her busy enough, after all - it was her dream as a teenager, wasn’t it?

Some days, though - days like today - it was harder to drown out the lonely, self-pitying thoughts. Days where she had a one-on-one meeting with you, for example.

As one of the teachers at Nevermore, Larissa found you particularly alluring - everything about you seemed to draw her in, leave her wanting more. You carried yourself with such confidence, you challenged Larissa in ways that both delighted and aroused her. You were kind and chatty, interested in what Larissa had to say - she felt she could talk to you for hours.

And you looked so delicious. In her weakest moments, Larissa imagined how it would feel to have a woman’s hands on her body - and more often than not, it was your hands she pictured, your face that surfaced in her mind as she pleasured herself. She yearned to feel your lips on her own, your body pressed against hers. How delightful it would feel to finally, finally be touched, to finally feel desired.

Today was no different - when you knocked on her office door for the start of your quarterly review, Larissa had to take a moment to compose herself before calling out “come in.” Her breath hitched in her chest as you strode up to her desk, grinning widely and taking a seat across from her.

The review of your performance took no time at all - you were honestly one of her best teachers, well-liked by the staff and the students (even Wednesday Addams had yet to cause an issue in your class). With twenty minutes left of your scheduled meeting time, the two of you began to chat about various, non-school-related subjects. Larissa found herself relaxing more and more, and before she realized what she was doing, she found herself asking if you’d like to join her in her quarters at the end of the day for a glass of wine and a chat.

“Of course, Larissa.” You beamed, sounding eager - was it Larissa’s imagination, or had a faint blush crept up your cheeks?

After agreeing to come by at 7, you took your leave to prepare for your afternoon classes - Larissa walked you to the door, which she leant against as soon as it shut behind you. Oh God, what had possessed her? An entire evening in your presence would be torture for her…

The worst part, somehow, was the fact that she knew you liked women - you’d brought up an ex-girlfriend once, Larissa had been taking a sip of coffee at the time and had nearly begun to choke. It was entirely plausible that you could… Larissa quickly shook the thought from her head. Even if you returned her affections, surely you’d hightail it out of there the second you found out how little experience Larissa had.

~~~

The afternoon passed quickly and soon Larissa found herself nervously pacing the length of her office, smoothing her sweaty palms over her dress to remove non-existent wrinkles.

Your knock sounded for the second time that day, and Larissa jumped at the sound. With a deep breath, she slipped into the persona she’d begun to adopt when dealing with the Mayor and other important figures - authoritative, even slightly seductive. It was the only way she wouldn’t crack under her nerves.

“Hello, darling,” Larissa husked as she opened the door and stepped aside to allow you to enter.

“Hey!” You’d changed out of your clothes from earlier into a low-cut blouse and a short skirt. A pair of simple black heels added two inches to your height, a fact that Larissa couldn’t help but find incredibly alluring. In your hand you held a bottle of Chianti, which you offered to Larissa. “Didn’t wanna come empty-handed,” you added with a nervous giggle.

“Oh…” Larissa’s heart fluttered at the kind gesture. “You didn’t have to.” She accepted the bottle with a grateful smile, hoping her blush wasn’t too obvious.

“I know, I wanted to.” You grinned at her, finally stepping into the office and closing the door behind you. Larissa reached past you to click the lock - and immediately paled as you smirked at her.

“My, my, Principal Weems, trying to trap me here and get me drunk?” you teased. Larissa’s panic must have been evident on her face because you burst into laughter and placed a reassuring hand on her arm - her skin burned at the contact as if it had been branded.

“I-I just don’t want students bursting into my office after hours, I…” Larissa trailed off lamely, unable to focus when your hand was still on her arm. It was so warm, so soft… she found herself imagining that hand on other parts of her body, trailing along her skin…

“Relax, Larissa, it’s okay,” you said, your face softening. “Either way it’s fine by me.”

Either way? Larissa nodded, swallowing thickly and trying to regain her composure. You’d always been very friendly, borderline flirty even, but something about being alone with Larissa outside of school hours seemed to relax you even further.

Larissa took a deep breath. A bit of teasing she could do - she was no stranger to a healthy bit of flirting to get what she wanted. Granted, her heartbeat was a bit more erratic this time, as she was actually attracted to the person across from her. Regardless - a bit of flirting couldn’t hurt. It didn’t have to be more than that.

“Would you like to take this to my quarters?” Larissa purred, plastering a seductive smile on her face and nodding in the direction of a door at the back of her office.

“I would love that.”

Minutes later, you were settled on the couch in Larissa’s living room and she was pouring two generous glasses of wine. She kicked off her heels and made herself comfortable beside you - you followed suit, taking the liberty to scoot just a bit closer. Larissa noticed, quirking an eyebrow - you laughed in response.

“Sorry, too forward?” You were still smiling as you made to shimmy back a bit - Larissa found herself placing a hand on your thigh, stilling your movements.

“You may stay,” she replied airily, grateful you couldn’t pick up on the way her heart was thundering loudly against her ribcage, seconds away from bursting. You placed your hand atop Larissa’s and she took a sip of her wine to mask the blush that was spreading across her face. Out of the corner of her eye, Larissa could see you mirror her movements, bringing your glass up to your mouth and taking a sip, watching her intently over the rim of the glass.

“Didn’t your parents tell you that it’s rude to stare?” Larissa murmured playfully, watching your cheeks go pink.

“No. They didn’t, actually,” you teased, before turning slightly more serious. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just… you’re really beautiful. Just want you to know that.”

Larissa felt butterflies erupt in her stomach and she turned to face you fully - you looked so cute, staring into your wine glass, cheeks pink… It had been so long since Larissa had been called beautiful - she was so careful not to put herself into situations where rejection could be the possible outcome. “Thank you.” You looked up and Larissa smiled.

“Larissa?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know why you invited me here tonight. I was hoping… Well, I have to confess something, I want to be open with you.”

Larissa could feel her heartbeat in her throat, and she nodded slowly, suddenly becoming aware that her hand was still on your thigh.

“I’m interested in you, Larissa. Now maybe I’m interpreting this all wrong, and if so I’m very sorry - I promise I won’t let it affect our professional relationship. But maybe the feeling is mutual…?”

She could hardly believe her ears. Of course the feeling was mutual. Larissa felt warm and tingly all over, her heart pounding and her head reeling. All she’d ever wanted was suddenly in her grasp - it was now or never…

Larissa’s eyes flicked down to your lips. Something in her expression must have given her away, for you leaned in and pressed your lips to hers - Larissa was helpless to stop you. It was just as she imagined - better, even. Your lips were soft and warm against hers, gentle - a stark contrast to the boy she’d made out with in college.

You quickly deepened the kiss, licking at Larissa’s lips which she parted almost out of instinct, allowing you to explore her mouth. You tasted of red wine and the lipstick you were wearing - Larissa couldn’t help but let out a soft noise of pleasure as heat pooled in her core. She felt you take her wine glass out of her hand and briefly pull back to set the two glasses on the coffee table - then your lips descended upon hers once more, the kiss quickly gaining intensity.

A wanton groan escaped your throat as you pushed yourself into Larissa - it was a beautiful sound, and Larissa could feel her underwear growing damp. She squeezed her thighs together for some much-needed relief, an action which you immediately noticed.

“Where’s your bedroom?” you rasped against Larissa’s lips. Her heartbeat stuttered in her chest - this was moving so fast. She wanted to protest but with the way you were looking at her, eyes half-lidded, pupils wide, cheeks flushed - she found she couldn’t summon up the courage to deny you, despite how her stomach began to burn with anxiety.

Instead, she stood and led you to her bedroom, allowing you to guide her backwards onto the mattress. She felt your fingers toy with the zipper of her dress and push it down to pool at her hips - then, suddenly, your lips were everywhere at once. You planted urgent, demanding kisses down her chest, her stomach - your hands caressed the bare skin of her waist.

These were the touches Larissa had yearned for for so long - your soft fingertips leaving marks on her waist as your warm breath caressed her skin, your lips and tongue and teeth peppering her body with kisses as evidence of your desire. But she wasn’t enjoying them. It was too much, too fast - she was overwhelmed with sensations. The throb between her legs no longer felt pleasant - it felt daunting, dirty even. What would happen when you’d fuck her and notice how skittish she was? What would happen when you’d expect to be pleasured in return and she would, inevitably, fail miserably?

As your lips moved up her body again, Larissa knew she needed to slow this down and confess, before her inexperience became evident and disappointed you. She took a deep breath.

“I don’t have much experience,” Larissa confessed quietly - the words sounded foreign to her ears. She could feel her nerves rising further as she wondered if you would hate her for it, leave immediately and never touch her again - she waited with baited breath to see what you would say.

“A woman like you? I find that hard to believe,” you murmured playfully, your voice low and sultry as you began to trail kisses all along Larissa’s jaw, as your fingers dug into her hips.

You weren’t getting it. Larissa felt, for the umpteenth time in her life, shame well up inside her, warming up her skin and pricking at her eyes. She felt her throat begin to close as panic overtook her body, and she tried to no avail to calm her racing heart with deep breaths as her eyes glazed over with tears.

“Larissa? Larissa?” Everything sounded like she was under water, your voice was so far away. Eventually, she recognized her name and turned to meet your gaze. You were no longer kissing her - you looked down at her in concern, brow furrowed, frowning as your lips sounded out her name.

Larissa took a deep breath to steady herself. She felt foolish for getting so worked up - surely you would think she was some sort of freak. 49 years old and unable to even so much as make out with a woman without having a panic attack.

“Larissa?”

“Yes?” She tried to sound normal, nonchalant, but her voice betrayed her as it gave out, even on that one syllable.

“Where’d you go? What’s going on up there?”

Your fingers caressed her cheek in a soothing gesture and she allowed her eyelids to flutter shut, leaning into the warmth of your touch. She found herself craving it so, so badly, but she couldn’t allow herself to enjoy it - not when it would surely be the last shred of affection she’d ever receive from you. She stared at the ceiling, a hollow feeling settling in her chest.

“We don’t have to do this, we don’t have to do anything. You know that right?” You shifted off of her, lying on your side to face her and propping yourself up on your elbow. When Larissa failed to meet your gaze, she felt your fingers grip her chin, urging her to face you. “We could just watch a movie or something?”

I don’t want to watch a movie. I want to fuck you. I want to be fucked. I want my body to let me have this.

Larissa nodded numbly.

You sat up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. Larissa moved as if on autopilot, pulling her dress back up and sliding off the bed, guiding you wordlessly back into her small living room. She gestured to the couch and you took a seat.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked, clearing her throat.

“Just water, thanks.” You offered her a grateful smile, and Larissa winced - she was going to need something stronger than water to get through the evening now, but she didn’t want you to think she was an alcoholic either, so she nodded and padded to the kitchen to grab two glasses of water.

When she returned you were focused on the television, flicking through Netflix. You paused to take one of the glasses out of her hand, careful not to allow your fingers to brush against hers as you did so - Larissa swallowed nervously and averted her eyes, taking a seat next to you - close enough to feel your body heat, but not touching you.

“I feel like Netflix took all the good movies off,” you whined with a slight pout - if Larissa hadn’t been so in her own head, she might have chuckled, finding you quite endearing. “Is there anything you want to watch?”

Larissa felt herself shrug. Her mind was elsewhere, replaying your interactions leading up to now, internally berating herself for letting on that she wasn’t okay. If she’d only been able to play along better… it was something even teenagers did, for fuck’s sake - it shouldn’t be a big deal. If she could just get it over with, then maybe -

“Are you more of a romcom or action kinda gal? Ooh. Maybe you wanna watch a horror movie or something? What about-”

“I’m a virgin.”

“Sorry, what was that?”

You hadn’t heard her. Larissa once again felt the sting of oncoming tears. “I’m a virgin,” she repeated, a bit louder, unable to stop her voice from rising in pitch, eyes trained on the floor in front of her.

The silence that enveloped the two of you was deafening.

A warm hand was placed on her thigh - she whipped her head around to face you, confusion and insecurity marring her features.

Your own eyes shone with care - Larissa felt her heart pound wildly against her ribcage.

“Thank you for telling me,” you said softly. “I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you earlier - I shouldn’t have moved so fast.” You looked almost ashamed, which confused Larissa further… What were you apologizing for? Clearly she was the one with the issues. She shook her head lightly, a bit dazed.

“No, I’m sorry…” Larissa hesitated, swallowing against the lump in her throat and fighting back tears. “I’ll walk you to the door, we can forget this ever happened.” As she stood, she felt your fingers gently encircle her wrist.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Larissa. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”

Larissa scoffed, but she made no move to extricate herself from your grip. Not when your warm fingertips were the only thing that could bring her comfort.

“I’ll leave if you want me to… but I’d rather stay and make sure you’re alright - if that’s okay?”

A part of Larissa was screaming, begging, pleading with her to kick you out so she could do what she always did - drown herself in her own self-pity (and maybe half a bottle of wine) and cry. But when she glanced down at you and saw the worry in your eyes, the adorable little crease between your brows that deepened at whatever you saw in Larissa’s own eyes, she nodded and sat back down.

“Is it… would you rather I not touch you right now?” you asked as you dropped Larissa’s wrist. There was a healthy distance between the two of you on the couch - it couldn’t have been more than a foot or two, but it felt like miles to Larissa, who felt the crushing weight of loneliness descending upon her again as you retracted your fingers.

“You can touch me,” she whispered, ashamed at how desperate she sounded. She felt the couch cushions shift next to her, and soon your warm thigh was pressed against hers - then your hand found her own, intertwining your fingers together. Your skin was so soft, your hand fit so perfectly within Larissa’s that it made her breath hitch in her chest, her eyes widening as she took in the sight of your small, feminine hand clasping her own. She wished her hands weren’t as clammy as they were, but you didn’t seem to mind.

“I hope I didn’t scare you away,” you said timidly. “I really like you and I… I didn’t mean to push you into anything. Fuck, I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I thought…” You trailed off, watching Larissa apprehensively.

“You really like me?” Larissa’s ears had perked up as you’d said it, she figured she must’ve misheard you. You smiled shyly then, and Larissa felt butterflies in her stomach. “Even… even now?”

You let out a low chuckle, giving Larissa’s hand a squeeze. “Even now? Is you being a virgin supposed to change my mind?”

“I’m 49…” Larissa whispered in anguish, her heart constricting in her chest as she realized she was admitting things to you now that she’d never told anyone.

“And? I mean I guess I’m curious why - it can’t be your looks or your personality, because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, and you’re so easy to talk to… But it doesn’t bother me or anything.”

Larissa sighed, dropping her gaze to your intertwined hands. When she spoke, it was barely audible. “I was never attracted to men, so I didn’t want them to touch me. I didn’t realize I could be attracted to women until college and by the time I’d come to terms with that… let’s just say I’m certain no one would want to deflower someone in their 40s.”

“I would,” you said with a shrug, so nonchalantly that Larissa whipped her head around to face you. You chuckled at her bewildered expression. “Come on, Larissa. I don’t care about that. I like you as a person and I find you attractive. I want to have sex with you, if you also want to have sex with me. I don’t care how many other people you’ve been with - I really don’t care if the answer to that is zero.”

Larissa took a moment to mull over your words. They sounded almost too good to be true - she never thought she’d find someone who would be so calm, so gentle, so unfazed about the whole thing. And, well, that it just so happened to be the woman she had a crush on… she could feel herself nodding at your words.

“But we don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to. Obviously.”

“I want to,” Larissa said firmly, if a little too quickly - it made you smirk, and her cheeks turned scarlet.

“We’ll go at your pace then.” You brought Larissa’s hand up to your lips and pressed a tender kiss to her knuckles. The soft brush of your lips made a rush of heat pool in Larissa’s abdomen. “Only what you’re comfortable with. And if you want to stop, we stop. I want you to have fun, Larissa. I want this to be good for you.”

“Thank you,” Larissa whispered. The smile she received in return was blinding, and her heart felt just a smidge lighter.

“Do you want me to leave for tonight?”

Larissa shook her head no. You snuggled into her side and picked up the abandoned remote again, flicking through a few more options before finally settling on Carol - Larissa felt herself slowly begin to relax as the film started.

A few minutes into the movie, Larissa felt your fingers begin to trace absent-minded patterns on her knee. She shivered at the touch - she could feel herself start to get worked up. She wondered if there was any way to salvage the evening - her attraction to you had only grown through your show of empathy, and maybe now that you knew her secret, her body could feel safe enough to let go.

Larissa turned towards you - your head was resting against her shoulder, it would be so easy to just lean in and-

You turned your head and met her gaze. “Now look who’s staring,” you teased. Larissa’s eyes were glued to your lips as you spoke. You were such a good kisser, you tasted so good. She leaned forward, focused on her goal - your lips curled into a smile as you leaned in as well. Larissa’s eyes fluttered shut the moment your lips met and she let out a breathy moan. You didn’t deepen the kiss - you simply pressed your lips to hers, humming and gently cupping her face in your hands.

Larissa felt emboldened by your gentleness - she parted her lips slightly to lick at yours. You opened your mouth for her, allowing her to explore your mouth before gently flicking your tongue against hers. She felt a mad fluttering in her abdomen at the deepening of the kiss, a little whimper escaping her throat at all of the sensations once again flooding her body.

Pulling back once she’d run out of air, Larissa rested her forehead against yours. Your hot, heavy breaths mingled with her own, her skin tingled with electricity.

“I want to try this again,” she whispered resolutely.

“Really?” You pulled back, your eyes flicking between hers. Your expression was a mixture of concern and excitement, and Larissa nodded.

You stood, extending a hand for Larissa to take and helping her up.

This time you climbed onto the bed first, settling against the pillows and waiting for Larissa. She followed suit, lying down next to you and pressing a hesitant kiss to your lips. She could feel the affection and tenderness with which you kissed her back and quickly relaxed, allowing her hands to rest on your waist and tugging you closer. You wound your arms around her and held her tightly - she felt safe in the minutes that you spent making out, heat slowly building within her.

Larissa froze as your fingers played with the zipper of her dress, her breath quickening. Noticing the change, you removed your hand and sat back on the balls of your feet.

“Are you sure about this?” you asked - there was no judgment detectable in your voice, only sweetness and worry. “Yes, I am, I’m sorry.” Larissa took a deep breath, trying to relax again.

“What if I got undressed first?”

She considered for a moment - yes, perhaps that would make her feel less vulnerable. She nodded and you began to unbutton your blouse.

“May I?” she asked. You smiled and dropped your hands, shimmying a bit closer. She unbuttoned the blouse the rest of the way, pupils dilating as it fell away from your front to reveal your lace-clad breasts. You slid the blouse from your arms and reached behind yourself, unclasping your bra and tossing it aside - your breasts jiggled slightly as you did so, and Larissa felt her mouth go dry.

Shimmying your hips, you slid your skirt down your legs and tossed it aside, before doing the same with your underwear. There you sat, completely naked, thighs parted slightly to reveal the wetness that glistened between your legs. Larissa’s own pussy throbbed with desire at the sight - she felt an overwhelming sense of euphoria at the fact that you were so aroused, in spite of everything that had transpired that evening.

“All for you,” you purred seductively, smirking as you noticed Larissa’s eyes glued to your cunt. Larissa snapped her gaze up to meet yours and you leaned forward again, pressing a soft kiss to her lips as your fingers once again found her zipper and began to drag it down. She moved her body accordingly so you could slide the dress down her body - nodding as you cocked your head in question when the dress pooled at her hips. You slipped her out of the dress completely, then crawled up her body and settled next to her, toying with the clasp of her bra.

“You can take it off,” she whispered, almost amused at how fast you complied.

The hunger with which your eyes roved over her torso, drinking in the milky expanse of her soft stomach, the swell of her breasts, her pink nipples that slowly hardened at the chill in the air - it felt like a drug to Larissa. She’d never had anyone look at her like that - no one had ever seen her naked in such a context, and she felt her chest flush.

Part of her wanted to cross her arms over her chest, her anxiety rising at the unabashed attention - but then you lowered your mouth to her right nipple and gently soothed your tongue over the bud, and her brain short-circuited.

Arching her back off the bed, Larissa let out a strangled, breathy sound - your tongue on her nipple felt like velvet, divine and soothing, and it sent tingles down her spine. Then she felt you roll her other nipple between your fingers and groaned - it was a filthy sound, and her hand shot up immediately to cover her mouth.

Your tongue stilled and you looked up at her with a smile. “No, I want to hear you. That was a very pretty sound you made.” Larissa blushed, removing her hand from her mouth. Your tongue resumed its ministrations, slowly causing the small, pink bud to harden, and Larissa whimpered at the shocks of pleasure that originated behind her navel and rippled outwards in waves.

“Does it feel good when I do that?” you murmured, moving your mouth from one breast to the other, and Larissa nodded fervently.

“Please, keep going,” she breathed, a tightness coiling in her abdomen as your hand joined your tongue to knead at the soft flesh of her breast.

Once you’d showered each of her breasts in ample attention, your lips began trailing down her stomach - much gentler this time, much slower. Larissa almost felt embarrassed at how her body was reacting, how excited she seemed to be getting, as your lips left a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

“Can I take these off?” You toyed with the waistband of Larissa’s underwear - she paused for a moment, before finally nodding again.

Your fingers brushed against her skin as you tugged her underwear down her legs, then settled between them. With you suddenly this close to her pussy, Larissa began to worry whether she should have shaved. She felt her nerves rising again as she waited for you to tell her how disgusting you found her - then she felt your lips begin to press reverent kisses to the little curls, as if you could sense her anxiety and were trying to reassure her that it was okay.

“Is it okay if I use my mouth?” you asked sweetly. Her eyes widened and her face suddenly felt hot - you were being so considerate, asking all these questions, making sure she was okay with everything, and Larissa wished you didn’t have to do that - she wished she could just be okay with whatever you wanted to do to her.

“I’m sorry, this must be terribly tedious,” she mumbled, her voice dripping with insecurity that, in any other context, she simply did not possess - she hated herself for it right now, and she was unable to meet your gaze because of it. A light slap to her thigh shocked her into looking at you, however. You frowned up at her from between her legs. “Hey. Don’t say that. Making love to you isn’t a chore, Larissa. I want this. So bad. And I want you to enjoy yourself as much as I am. Understood?”

“Yes,” she replied, breathless at your display of dominance.

“Good girl.” Larissa let out an involuntary moan - she had never considered that she would enjoy being called a ‘good girl’, but she couldn’t help the way her cunt throbbed at your words. “So. Is it okay if I use my mouth? Or do you want to stop?”

“N-no, I don’t want to stop… you can use your mouth.”

You beamed up at her, before carefully hooking one of her legs over your shoulder - Larissa could feel herself being spread open at the action.

Soft lips began littering her inner thighs with gentle kisses. Larissa tried her best to stay still, not to squirm - but when your mouth finally met her cunt, your tongue slowly trailing up her slit, she couldn’t help but buck her hips into your face.

A soft groan left her lips when she felt your tongue flick against her clit - she was so sensitive, and the touch was so different than when she pleasured herself - it made every hair on her body stand on end. Your lips closed around the sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking gently and drawing little whimpers from Larissa’s throat as her back arched. She felt herself quickly getting lost in the sensation.

“Does this feel good?” you murmured, pulling back for a moment.

“Y-yes,” Larissa panted - her breathing was already beginning to get heavier.

“If anything doesn’t feel good, if you don’t like it, tell me, okay?”

Larissa hummed and you began licking at her folds, gathering her juices on your tongue and letting out a loud moan of delight. “Fuck, you taste amazing.” Larissa couldn’t help but blush again, but her embarrassment was forgotten the second your tongue circled her clit. She shut her eyes and tried to focus on relaxing.

She found herself unsure what to do with her hands - she briefly brought them to your head, then fisted at the sheets next to her. Then she felt something brush against them and opened her eyes to see your own hands blindly reaching out and grabbing for hers. She intertwined your fingers, her heart leaping in her chest as you gave her hands a squeeze.

The coil in Larissa’s stomach was tightening by the second. She felt herself growing more comfortable with every passing minute, allowing unfiltered moans to pass her lips, spurred on by the noises you were making - the breathy groans, the wet sound of your tongue lapping at her folds. When you gently circled her entrance, she couldn’t help but whine and buck her hips.

“C-can you go inside?” she asked quietly, rolling her hips against your face. You groaned in response, slowly pushing your tongue into her hole. Larissa’s walls fluttered against your tongue and she let out a guttural moan.

“Good girl,” you purred between thrusts of your tongue. “You’re doing so well for me, love.”

Larissa could feel herself getting closer, her thighs trembling - she tried to keep her legs open but the next thrust of your tongue caused her to snap them shut around your head.

Slowly she began to unravel, her release cresting like a wave as you alternated between teasing her hole and sucking her clit. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she lost herself completely in the feeling of ecstasy overwhelming her body.

She felt your tongue soothe over her folds, then her thighs, lapping up the evidence of her orgasm. You gave her hands a gentle squeeze, before gently extracting your fingers from her grip and crawling up her body. Larissa’s eyes were still closed when she felt your lips on her own. At your tongue’s insistence she parted her lips, whining at the taste of herself as you licked into her mouth.

When you pulled back and cupped her cheek, Larissa opened her eyes. She was almost shocked at the sheer amount of affection and adoration that swirled in your pupils as you searched her face - it made her heart flutter in her chest.

“How was it?”

Larissa hesitated - what was she supposed to say to that? It was everything I’ve ever wanted and more, because it was with you… She buried her face in the crook of your neck and sighed, inhaling the scent of sweat and your sweet perfume on your skin.

“Really good, darling,” is what she settled for as she contentedly nuzzled her nose into your pulse point. She felt your arms wind around her and allowed herself to be held as her breathing slowed. A chaste kiss was pressed to the crown of her head and she smiled against your skin.

You shifted next to her, wrapping your legs around hers, and Larissa could feel your slick rub against her thigh. Tentatively, Larissa allowed her hand to trail down your bare waist, over the swell of your hip. She could feel you shiver against her as her fingertips brushed against your mound.

Larissa reached between your thighs and pulled back to get a look at your face - you watched her intently, pupils blown, lips parted to let out shaky breaths. Slowly, Larissa spread your folds with her fingers, gasping as she felt how wet you were. She gathered some of your juices on her fingertips and massaged them over your swollen clit, enraptured by the soft moan you let out, the way your eyes fluttered shut and your hips twitched seemingly of their own accord.

With your eyes closed, Larissa allowed herself to admire your beauty, the way you gave in to her touches. She touched you the way she normally touched herself, and it seemed to please you - your face was gorgeously flushed, the most obscene noises slipping from between your swollen lips. When you arched your back, Larissa’s eyes fell to your nipples, hardened with arousal. She lowered her mouth to your breast, flattening her tongue and soothing it over the pink bud, drawing a moan from your chest.

“Bite,” you murmured. Larissa paused, glancing up at your face - then felt your hands on the back of her head, pushing her into your chest. She licked your nipple once more, before grazing her teeth against it and gently biting.

“Fuck, just like that,” you mewled, and Larissa bit down again, the heat within her own body building at the string of obscenities dripping from your lips.

You rolled your hips against her hand as she continued to stroke your clit. She felt your fingers encircle her wrist, guiding her to your dripping hole. “Two fingers,” you instructed breathily.

Larissa complied, first pushing in one, then two fingers, inadvertently biting down on your nipple again as she felt your walls draw her fingers in. She curled her fingers, experimenting with the pace of her thrusts until she heard your breathing stutter.

“Shit, you’re so good at this,” you praised, your thighs beginning to shake and the rolling of your hips becoming more and more erratic. Your face contorted with pleasure as you rode Larissa’s fingers - she felt your cum drip down her hand as you tensed around her, then you sighed and relaxed into the mattress.

Larissa sat up, pulling her fingers out of your cunt - the needy mewl that left your lips caused a shiver to run down her spine. Your eyes met hers, full of affection and desire, and she felt emboldened - she brought her fingers up to her mouth and licked them clean, moaning at the taste. It was intoxicating - she knew she could get addicted to that taste.

“C’mere,” you murmured, holding your arms open for Larissa. She settled into them, slinging an arm around your bare waist and tugging you closer. You pressed a kiss to her lips. “That-” kiss “felt-” kiss “incredible” kiss.

Larissa felt herself blushing at your compliment - she couldn’t have asked for a better experience for her first time. It might have come some twenty years later than she’d hoped for, but if it meant she could be here with you right now, your fingertips tracing soothing patterns on her back, your breath tickling her cheek - she’d wait those twenty years all over again.

“I’m glad it was you, you know,” she whispered.

“I’m glad, too,” you whispered back, a gentle smile tugging at your lips.

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straykidshoe · 3 months

Text

Yes doctor

PAIRINGS: Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

GENRE: Mature (Smut)

MUSIC: I hope you know what you're doing by KiNG MALA

CONTAINS: Doctor!au, strangers to lovers

SMUT WARNINGS: over the underwear orgasm, oral f!recieving, teasing f!recieiving. Please message me if i misseed anything.

WORD COUNT: 1,530

A/N: Don't read too much into the medical malpractice.

You rubbed your palms against your slacks, the silky material doing nothing to stop the constant flow of sweat. The nurse did offer you a set of scrubs but you refused, your nerves being too overpowering for you to actually register her question- which you were now regretting. As you sat in the partially empty waiting room, you started to reflect on how you actually ended up here. Initially, you thought that it was your own decision, that you were taking charge of your own health, being that girl- but in truth, your past partners had managed to weasel the notion that something was wrong with you, into your brain.

You couldn’t orgasm, not by someone else’s devices anyway, if you were alone with your fingers and vibrator you could decently cum to the point where you weren’t sexually frustrated- but you had never experienced the fireworks and blinding light that all your girlfriends would go on and on about. At first you would lie to your ex’s, forcefully clenching down on their fingers and panting deeply- but soon enough they would realise that you in fact did not cum. And boy, were their ego’s bruised. Nonsense would start to spew out of their mouth and some of them just called you ugly, you even tried a one night stand- that didn’t turn out well, it felt like you were a tree and a big grizzly bear was just helplessly rutting into you.

So here you are, on a Tuesday evening at the gynaecologist’s monochrome waiting room, flipping through a flimsy magazine- you still had your work clothes on, the white blouse and black slacks you had paired together in the morning lent themselves to the decor. Helping you blend in and mask your shame.

After a few minutes of inner turmoil and self loathing- a nurse had called out your name, guiding you to a dark wood door- on which a metal name plate read, ‘Dr. Hwang Hyunjin’.

Well this could only go well, he even sounded like a pretentious asshole- maybe it’ll lighten the blow when he told you that you had a rare disease where you could never cum at the hands of a man. Well you could be a lesbian, that wouldn-

‘Ah, Miss Y/L/N- come in. Take a seat’ A deep voice cut off your trail of thought as the door swung open you were met with a face. But not just any face- an angelic, beautiful face. One that was probably carved by Aphrodite herself, nevermind a gift from her- he was birthed out of her. You stood there for a while, dumbstruck, analysing his smooth skin and focussing on the birthmark just underneath his almond eye,

‘Miss Y/L/N ?’ the same baritone flowed through your ears, like hot caramel, it encompassed you in a warm cocoon, you blinked a few times- trying to clear the delicious fog that had began to form in your mind,

‘Yes-’ you cleared your throat, in hopes that you would snap back into reality, ‘Yes, that’s me.’ The man laughed, his eyes crinkling up until crescents, ‘Yea, Come on in,’ he moved to the side, arm outstretched. Laughing sheepishly, you bunched up your shoulders as you stepped in- sitting on the chair that was in line with his desk.

He followed suit, pulling out and sitting on the chair diagonal to you- he leant forward, reaching to shake out your hand.

As you accepted it, you marvelled at the sheer size of his palm and length of his fingers- he was warm, like a sensual dance that slowly made your blood bubble in your fucking vena cava. He felt like a welcomed heartburn.

‘Hi, my name is Dr.Hwang. And you are?’ He grinned at you, mischief gleaming through his brown iris’. Like in a forest when the sun would stream through the trunks of the tall trees.

‘You already know that’ You replied, sporting an equally cheeky grin, ‘But, since I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. My name is Y/N’

He leaned back giving you a smirk whilst holding his hands up in mock surrender

‘You caught me, I like to think that most patients get more comfortable if we properly introduce themselves’ .

He then swivelled in his chair to reach for a clipboard- the medical form attached flapped with his harsh movement, ‘Your medical file said “unspecified” so I only assume you wanted to tell me directly what was wrong.’ He brought his gaze up from the form towards your face, which was now flushed with embarrassment, rubbing your sweaty palms together,

‘Yeah so- I can’t cum.’ You chuckled as his eyes widened into saucers and a faint dusting of red reached his ears- he cleared his throat harshly whilst tugging at the knot of his tie. Holy fuck, those veins, you wonder what they would look like when wrapped around your-

‘You can’t..cum?’ He jotted down something on his paper, before placing the clipboard on his desk. This guy couldn’t let you finish one thought.

‘Yes, I can’t.’ He arched an eyebrow up at you, was he really a doctor? Maybe he was a model in his past life,

‘As in, you have never experienced an orgasm. Ever?’ His voice was shaky as he snapped on some bright blue gloves.

‘Dr Hwang, I have never cum at the hands of a man.’ Noticing the way his thighs constricted under his slacks made you realise that maybe, this attraction wasn’t one sided.

‘Please call me Hyunjin,’ He muttered as he rolled towards you- folding the sleeves of his white coat up to his elbows, ‘I find it’s better for certain patients.’

You ignored his last comment, trying not to think about the countless amount of women that have probably drooled over him like you are right now, ‘So, do I need to sit there- how do you want me?’

Nice choice of words.

Once again, you managed to gauge a reaction out of him- his arms constricted as he gripped his poor slacks and he sighed deeply through his nose as he looked down,

‘Just there, on the bed-’ He looked back up as he pointed to the medical bed, tucked away in the corner, ‘I need you to, uhm, take off your underwear and pants.’

You choked on your spit,of course you had to take your underwear off. It's a gynaecologist visit for god sake,

‘Uhm, yeah obviously.’ Silently, you walked to the bed, taking support of it so that you could slowly drag down your slacks. You tried not to look directly at him as you felt his eyes boring into your now naked legs- God damn is he intense.

You rubbed your thighs together as you felt the damp material stick to your folds, there is now probably a 99% chance that there was a dark patch of soiled cotton right where your hot sex was.

‘You need some help?’ His condescending voice sent a shiver throughout you, you finally met his dark gaze- it felt like he held a live wire and was millimetres away from shocking you as he slowly stood and made his way to your body. You nodded, scared that if you opened your mouth- even just an inch; that a series of moans and whimpers would flow out- Hyunjin smiled at your meek demeanour, like you were an innocent rabbit and he was a sly fox.

He inhaled deeply as he dragged his nose along your neck, hands caressing your’s, he made a slow descent down your body- nudging your flowy blouse slightly, he layed small pecks on your stomach. Soon he reached the band of your underwear, looking up at you he waited for confirmation, ‘Please..’ you breathed out, groaning in frustration, when he kissed the front of your underwear before moving further down to your clothed pussy. You wretched your hand away from him, to grip on the bed behind you whilst one of his hands wandered up and under your shirt, grazing at the band of your bra- the other dragging up and down your thighs.

Soon enough he had reached the damp material, chuckling when he nudged your covered clit with his nose- making you jolt backwards, ‘I haven’t even touched you yet-’ he prodded your leaking hole with his finger, ‘Look how you pussy wants me..’ he lazily brought his eyes to yours before licking a strip along your underwear, humming as your whole body erupted in goosebumps. What the fuck is this.

He reached for one of your hands whilst keeping his mouth latched on your pussy, his tongue continuously prodding your hole, he found purchase on the hand that was grasping the paper sheet on top of the bed for dear life. Wrapping his fingers around yours he guided them beneath the barrier adorning your throbbing heat- letting you rub harsh circles on your swollen clit. As he rockede back on his haunches he watched you as you helplessly jerked your hips upwards, searching for further friction to help you reach your orgasm whilst moaning softly. You gasped as with one hand he played against your abdomen, halting your jerky movements in place. Whimpering as he moved your underwear to the side.

Leaning forward he blew cold air against your glistening folds, you let out a guttural groan as you gripped his black locks with both hands- trying to push his head further towards your cunt, desperate to feel him ravage you.

‘Uh uh uh, need you to tell me what you want..’ he kissed your slit gently, chuckling when you moaned into the humid air surrounding the two of you. You turned your head to the side, not wanting him to see your expression as you began to stutter, ‘A-anything. God please, just do anything. Just want you..’ You were on the verge of tears, if this is what euphoria felt like, you would happily welcome it with open arms,

You could hear him coo from beneath you, ‘What are you doing to me Y/N?’ he muttered under his breath.

Jesus you like the way he said your name- like it’s a secret.

dipping two of his fingers into your cunt he collected your wetness before placing them into his mouth, moaning as your tangy sweetness blanketed his taste buds.

‘I think I know the exact prescription for you..’ He kitten licked your clit, grinning wolfishly when he saw your folds flutter around nothing, ‘Would you like a demonstration,’ he quirked his eyebrow up at you, ghosting his plump lips over your glistening pussy.

You let out a shaky breath, ‘Yes doctor..’

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piqued-curiosity · 2 years

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Another thing about these “trans gays” lamenting over not having the Gay Teen Experience they see on shows/movies/etc. like Heartstopper, The Prom, and Love, Simon...is that those media depictions are very much idealised versions of gay teenhood.

If you’re actually a gay teen, there’s a good chance you aren’t going to stumble across another gay teen to fall in love with. You probably aren’t going to have an awakening because of one person and have them fall in love with you back. You probably aren’t going to be your crush’s awakening.

Hell, you likely won’t even know another gay person!! At least not another gay man if you’re male, or another lesbian if you’re female. Throughout all my grade school years as a lesbian, I know of one gay guy (who never had a boyfriend), and one lesbian (idk her dating history). I do know a few bisexuals, so there’s that.

Being Gen Z, I’m lucky enough to have grown up in the most accepting time for LGB people. I was out in middle school and even had a “girlfriend” when I was 13. I say “girlfriend” in quotes because you know how middle school dating goes. It wasn’t anything remotely serious, just holding hands in the hall and cuddling in the library and getting away with it because we’re both girls (gals being pals!). I, being 13, didn’t really know what I was doing and wasn’t wanting anything serious, so it wasn’t like the movies where the gay teens are going out for movie dates and getting ice cream together and all that. I’m not sure that’s real even for the OSA kids. Certainly not for the gay kids.

Point is, despite being in an era and environment where it would be fairly safe for me to have the Movie Gay Teen Experience, I didn’t have it. Most of us don’t. And sometimes I think about it, as I finish off my last year of high school and hear girls talking about their boyfriends—how they go to his cottage in the summer, how they go on dates. As I see them walk down the hall hand in hand, sneaking kisses. I see it all and I sometimes think, damn, I wish I could’ve had that. But it was simply not an experience that was available to me. Even if I was ready for a relationship and not a bit of a recluse, even if I was at a point where I’d be comfortable telling my parents I had a girlfriend, it’s not like I have a giant dating pool.

That Gay Teen In Love Experience is something I’ve just had to let go of. I think this is true for most gay people. We acknowledge that we missed out on something our OSA peers experienced, and we acknowledge that it might even set us back as far as dating maturity/experience goes. And then we move on, because there’s not much else we can do but that.

So to see these “trans gays”—who are heterosexual, and therefore could have easily experienced what they say they missed if they hadn’t been so obsessed with pretending to be gay—whine about “missing out” on an experience that isn’t even theirs to mourn? It’s maddening! They’re acting as if gay people get to live like the movie gays do. We do not. The fact they think we do shows just how out of touch they are with what it’s like to be gay.

They only see the side of being gay that the movies show them, which isn’t so much a “side of being gay” as it is a fantasy. They don’t know what it’s like to grow up gay. All they know is what it’s like to grow up straight, with soft gay teen movies playing on repeat in their heads. They prove it when they act like missing out on a gay teenhood is sad and tragic, while actual gay people wish we had missed out on it—it would have spared us from the loneliness, isolation, shame, sadness, and pain that all too often comes with growing up gay. It’s not a fairytale. Any gay person can tell you that. (But of course, the straight people who pretend to be us have never been too interested in listening to what we have to say.)

#my post #lgb drop the t

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pinktom · 7 months

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hi! for those random character questions, all for LS characters: 5,6,13,16,37 for Tom Sr. and James (whom I both adore wholeheartedly) and just for fun: 23,24,44 for our edgelord queen Delphi and favorite fat lesbian Cedric <3

OMG my DILFs! And my emo gurl! And my fat misshapen lesbian! A pleasant surprise - thank you for asking, Anon. 🐍

PS: I answer these questions with using Ch. 1-10 as the reference, with no additional information or coloring that will come in Ch. 11-15.

Best personality trait

Tom Sr., like his son, is unapologetically himself. He values autonomy and independence above social acceptance or companionship, and he raised his son the same way. I suppose it's his folly as well, but on a human level, I find it sexy.

James is equally unapologetic, but instead he values lawfulness* and goodness. We know he's college educated, so we know he had some breadth of career choices, and he chose to be a cop — a rather unglamorous but, in his own view of the world, a role that keeps the public safe and assures criminals are held accountable for the harm they cause.

(*I would guess this is why James arouses so much frustration in some of the readers who were kind enough to share their reactions with us! Tom is our protagonist, and he's pathologically criminal.)

Worst personality trait

Well, Tom Sr is a snob, and big time. His parenting style very clearly contributed to Tom being an outcast, and yet he just passes the blame off on the "parochial" children who, unlike Tom, were raised by "uncultured" parents. As if the kids didn't want to befriend Tom because he was rich (we see the Weasley twins still extended him an offer), rather than the fact he went around hissing like he could talk to snakes.

James, while not a snob, is similar insofar as he's extremely judgmental. He didn't like Tom Sr for valid reasons, but lbr, he also simply wasn't keen on his weird kid being near his own son. Once James deems someone weird (e.g., Snape, Morfin, Tom), he struggles to relate to them. He gets this sort of pity that can either stay in the realm of discomfort or grow into straight up rage.

Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

For Tom Sr … Agree to go on a television show. (:

For James? Thus far? Personally I'll stand by it being him rejecting Tom Sr.'s playdate suggestion, even if it's more of a hindsight thing. But I think it is dumb, fundamentally, because it demonstrated some of his worst traits - the aforementioned judgmental-ness, as well as his controlling nature and certainty he can make the best choices on his son's behalf, rather than leaving the decision up to him.

Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

They're both pretty delulu.

I tend to think, with having a bit of a persecution complex about Tom, Tom Sr. really wishes someone did something bad to Tom that could excuse his behavior … LMAO. Perhaps a dark part of him hoped to have it revealed that, somehow, Tom was being manipulated by a paedophile or something.

As for James, I think it's pretty obvious by now that he confuses his own fears with this sense of responsibility to protect his son. He's yet to admit to himself that, all this time, he was the one who was afraid, and he just projected it onto his son so he didn't feel like a coward or have to actually address it. (Men, amirite?)

What they really think about themselves

This one is pretty easy to answer, actually. They've both matured fully into who they are, as grown men, and they both stand by their morals, principles, and actions. I think they both really think they are clever, correct, and just. Neither suffer ego-based insecurities that conflict with their self-concept or self-expression.

If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

Delphini would obviously smell like black roses and fresh blood x)

Cedric wears cheap mass-market raglans so he'd have to have some sort of basic scent. I'd go with fresh linen. Sure it's good, but is it really memorable? Debatable.

Most annoying habit

Oh you KNOW she will turn any conversation back on her favorite topic, and if you dare try and get a word in, edgewise, you will likely be cut off.

Where I was raised, old ladies say, "Ahh, bless your heart," when they think you're absolutely dogshit stupid, but are trying to stay nice about it. Cedric defo has that kind of "knowing" smile some people get, that has the same vibe. And he isn't afraid to flash it on you!

Their happiest memory

Delphini's was recently made -- seeing, with her OWN EYES, trueship realized! And she was the FIRST to see it! Take that bitches.

Cedric literally makes me feel the laugh emoji 😂 when I think about him being happy. He'd probably say it was seeing his Gran 👵🏻💖 after such a long time apart !!!

—

If you made it to the end of this, I am astounded, shocked, and honored. Thank you. 🙏

#lover’s spit #q #sorry for sitting so long on this one!

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strawberryamanita · 1 year

Text

Alright, it was a bad idea to go into the neurosparkly tag. People are chill in the neurospicy tag, but it's just hatepost after hatepost after hatepost in the neurosparkly tag.

I was gonna keep my mouth shut, but now I'm pissed. Y'all really know how to make a person's skin crawl.

Rant below.

Listen, this reeks of one person pulling "neurosparkly" and "neurospicy" out of a very obscure conversation and going "hmm, this gives me the willies, so it looks like an acceptable target to me!", and I'm already sick of it. This gives me the exact same vibes as that one famous post about transmeds vs transtrenders -- this idea of pinning one form of self-expression against another, in the name of dunking on fellow marginalized people that are giving your demographic "a bad name". To that end, I'd like to remind y'all that the original artist of that post admitted they weren't acting right about trans people that aren't like them, and so I'm hoping we get over this and get over it soon.

Because we cannot keep doing this.

Every. Summer. Every fucking Summer, this website has to put a spotlight on a new group to punch down on. First it was just about every LGBTQIA+ group outside of cis gay men you could imagine -- lesbians, bis/pans, trans people, ace people, non-binary people, people who identify as queer (we're literally all queer, but that's another convo all together), you name it. It literally never stops, you people have to be taught over and over again that, no, this one group isn't okay to target either, that's your family too, you're not better than them for being a different flavor of weird.

Now we're doing this to neurodivergent people? Neurodivergent people. The overwhelming majority of this website. You're gonna try and clown on other neurodivergent people for, what is it, being cringe? After we just agreed that embracing cringe is a huge step towards self-acceptance and self-love? tumblr is THE cringe website. We don't do optics here, we don't clean our metaphorical rooms when guests are over.

Like what, we have to take every moment of our neurodivergent lives seriously? It's ridiculous enough that we have a "normal" model for how a brain should be, compared to all the different ways a person can develop. Are we such tragic figures that we can't take the smallest delight in calling ourself a fun little nickname? It's not self-censoring, it's not like "handicapable vs disabled", let's not treat this thing like a gust of wind on the house of cards that is our (quite necessary) camaraderie.

Are we gonna start zeroing in on specific neurodivergent conditions next? How long are we gonna play this stupid game of Who Is It Okay To Bully on this website? If you wanna look like a mature and poised and respectable lot, you can't be doing something so petty, whether it's for fun or "for the cause".

Y'know what? I support neurosparkly. I support neurospicy. My neurotype is glow-in-the-dark. It's glittery, it's color-changing, it's metallic and covered in rhinestones and smells like artificial fruits. My neurotype is crayon drawings and old kids' meal toys and bubble machines and getting bleary-eyed over Muppet songs. My brain is covered in holographic stickers and playing 8bit videogame music on loop. I am Cringemeister General. You could only wish to be as cringe as me.

Now cringe. Cringe and cope and seethe and mald. Dig up everything you can about me to attempt to punish me for disagreeing with you, and let your confirmation bias run wild. Post me on r/cringe, make a YouTube or TikTok video about me, pick me apart on a livestream, make me the poster-boy of your disgust, print out a screenshot of my blog and throw darts at it. Dance the dance of self-hatred, and then wait in the wings until you get to dance it again.

Eugh.

I'm gonna close this rant using every argument that I've seen effectively shut down these yearly attempts at putting eachother in the pillories, because I don't know if I can take another Summer of this:

If you start picking on people for using "neurosparkly" or "neurospicy", I'm assuming you're a fed. Infighting only helps the oppressors, and if we spend our energy trying to police eachother we're not going to get anything done. Kill the cringe cop in your head. There's as many ways for a person to live as are, have been, and will be people on this planet; there's a good chance you're gonna hear about some people who give you the ick, but you're gonna have to swallow that ick and respect them anyhow.

Every ounce of energy you spend rolling your eyes at people you consider beneath you can be spent chipping away at a person in power. Every minute you choose to spend tsking or turning up your nose at "weird" kids can be spent advocating for that weirdness and normalizing being fucking nice to people. You punch down or punch across because it gives you quicker, more visible results; if we're all punching up, they'll have no other option than to listen to us.

There is enough room for everybody. Even the neurospicies, even the neurosparklies.

PS: Any attempts to make fun of me or the people I talked about in this post are just straight-up gonna be ignored. I don't see why you'd want to convince me to think less of others, so trying to sway me is gonna be difficult on your part. I'm not debating anyone's rights, and I'm not gonna conserve spoons to argue with a stranger. I have Anons turned off already, so if you wanna get up in my virtual face you won't have a disguise to protect you.

Thank you for your time.

#neurospicy #neurosparkly #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity #long post

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weiner-enjoyer · 7 months

Text

ofmd s2 literary analysis, mostly so i dont die of gay disease. obviously, spoilers for our flag means death season 2

okay so im going to start with the gravy basket because.???? there has to be some kind of metaphor im missing. but regardless, most of it was pretty up front. ed hates himself, he chooses to live, he changes. but theres some smaller details i find important. for one, he’s under the immediate impression that he hates hornighost, but hornighost feeds him and takes care of him anyway. he helps him. if hornighost is ed, then we can assume that ed is taking this time to take care of himself - with or without anyone else’s help. was he doing a great job at it? not at all. but he displays this self help when he establishes his boundaries with stede. not to mention, death is a huge main theme in this series. obviously he didn’t die, but he had a choice to. he was faced with “fix your problems, or die.” and he chose to fix them; he chose change, but change of his own accord, not death’s. he has control.

i also want to talk about ed saying “you’re not a fucking mermaid”. which seems really obvious, and it is. but the whole mermaid vision was to show that stede is here, whether he likes it or not. and whether he likes it or not, he takes that help. and it helps him. but he’s just started this whole self help journey, and he doesn’t want to accept he’s not strong enough to do it himself. so he’s telling stede to back tf off. and also obviously their divorce or wtv

okay so the bunny. ed is confiding in this random ass bunny. the bunny stays put, but it is also quite visibly shaking. ed has control now, but he isn’t ready to deal with the feedback he would get from a person. humans are unpredictable, and they aren’t always good at receiving emotions. ed also doesn’t want to use feedback to get better, because he’s so convinced he’s always right (or he chooses to think that to avoid how he absolutely knows he’s wrong.) and so theres this bunny. and then the bunny fucking dies, and then he eats that bunny. which is crazy, but he immediately talks to stede after eating it. he lost a safe zone, and then he got out of his safe zone and fixed a problem; the main reason he chose to live

and then theres the lesbians (i forgot their names, im so sorry). love those guys, my favorite plot device so far. this one is pretty obvious as well. but they’re just so immature. like. oh my god. and it’s fun at first. at first, both stede and ed love them, but both of them realize how unstable it is. they’re not even afraid to become that, because they know they’re better than that. but. there’s a but. the lesbian’s way of life was easy. if you don’t have to deal with the problems, you can live and die childish, probably from gangrene after your girlfriend stabbed you. and stede and ed immediate relate themselves to the lesbians, and then they completely defy that relation by doing the mature thing. i kinda forgot to say this, but the lesbians are a symbol of ed’s past life too. they act like how ed acts when he meets his old pirate friends; immature and reckless. when ed leaves that scene, he leaves that part of him behind.

okay so then we have the robes. im almost done, i promise. the robes are fancy. the robes are rich. the robes are cursed. they protect stede in every way except that everyone around him fears the robe. the robes are super cash money. unfortunately, stede no longer likes being cash cash money bags, so he gets rid of the suit. most of it. because he really does wear fine things well. but the robes are a past life for stede, and he willingly gets rid of them. he’s not even that mad about it. the same can be said for the lesbians; when stede leaves the robes, he leaves that part of him behind. he does it for his shipmates, but it helps him too

okay okay okay now izzy. so it’s less an analysis and more of a question. of course, izzy has been suffering a lot. like a lot. and he deserves that. wholeheartedly. he was doing relatively well with the suffering too, at first, and then he decided “fuck all that. im going to get drunk off my ass and pretend that ed didnt almost kill me, because i’m too immature.” this behavior is not healthy and im almost positive he’ll eventually come back to hating ed and try to kill him. but even with all of this, how is he going to do as a captain? we now have two other former captains on board, albeit fairly weak captains, but they pose a threat to izzy’s power. and probably his emotional state. is he going to govern the ship like before, or is he going to be emotional like he was in the beginning? he had to have learned that it could get him betrayed, but he seems intelligent in the robe situation

i hope this makes sense

#ofmd #nobody is going to read this shit #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbeard #izzy hands

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transmascrage · 1 year

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TLOU Episode 3 and Masculinity

(Crossposted on Reddit, that's why I'm explaining that I'm trans)

I hadn't cried this hard in so long. This episode broke me in the best way.

It's not just the beautiful life Bill and Frank have together, it's how deeply I felt their first meeting. Bill being so hunched over and stiff until he realized Frank was safe to be queer and vulnerable around, and them crying because they found another person like themselves in the apocalypse.

Queer people still experience these emotions without all the zombies around, and it was so great to see happy queer people in a genre-setting where many fans assume a patriarchal and heteronormative system will be the norm, and that all civil and social rights "won't matter anymore". Lord knows how many times I've heard people say "If we were in the apocalypse, no one would respect your pronouns" like that's supposed to hurt my feelings? Bring back the attack helicopter jokes at this point.

I feel like unless you're queer yourself, you won't understand why Frank asking "Who's the girl?" and Bill replying "There is no girl" and bursting into tears says so much with few words.

Frank is testing the waters, he can tell Bill has some queerness to him (gaydar is real, it's just being able to pick up on subtle cues, and the only reason most cishet people are bad at it is becayse you need to engage with queer spaces and media to see them), but he's testing how aware Bill is of it and how he'll react to a gay man near him when he's repressed it for so long.

And Bill breaks down because he feels safe enough to do so around him, and he can tell Frank will understand why there is no girl.

And then later, Frank asking if he's ever had sex with anyone before, and Bill saying "There was a girl, a long time ago" and Frank saying "I know" made me so emotional because Frank is saying "I know you tried to fit in, and it didn't work".

And then I cried again when Frank asked him to spend their last day together. And then again when Bill decided to die with him.

Bill's message to Joel reminded me of some old queer books, like Stone Butch Blues, I read where butch lesbians defend their femme lovers, or where sensitive, femme gay men are defended by masc gay men. Not as a "simulation" of het relationships, but as a way of protecting the less vulnerable members of the community.

After all, while Bill is the one mostly protecting Frank, Frank also defends Bill when the raiders attack. He jumps in the line of fire to take him back inside and tends to his wound, saving his life. And Tess isn't just a "defendee" either, she's very capable and protects Joel and Ellie (as well as herself) in the short time we see her. Furthermore, she's never treated by Joel as just someone to protect. While he wants her to be safe, he lets her do her thing while guaranteeing her backup if she needs it.

It's like when adult queer people (the mature ones, at least) defend younger queer people with tooth and nail, because they can be really obnoxious and open about their queerness (in an endearing way, I promise!) and we won't let the world hurt our young. It's saying, "Actually, making your entire personality about being gay/trans IS a necessary part of the process, so fuck off!"

I saw someone on TikTok say episode 3 made him want to be a better man, and I think protecting the people you love is an amazing ideal of masculinity to uphold. I'm a trans man, which means I've had to analyze my view of manhood and masculinity than most cis men do, and I also think this is the conclusion I've gotten to.

Lastly, I'm actually pleasantly surprised at how the fandom took this episode! I mean yeah, there were the expected homophobic comments, but they're so cartoonishly hateful it's hard to take them seriously.

The rest of the public saying they disliked it seemed to be people who wanted the episode to be like the game, and for Joel to meet up with Bill. Which is fair, honestly (though I disagree).

The rest has been really accepting! I've seen so many cishet men saying they loved the episode and even cried watching it. It makes me hopeful that things are getting better even in fandom spaces that are traditionally homophobic, like gaming communities.

#tlou show #tlou series #tlou show spoilers #tlou bill #tlou frank #queer community #manhood #trans ftm #transmasc

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maneaterwithtail · 1 year

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Why Belos role and characterization and treatment in narrative or character parallel bothers me

I cannot help but feel it confuses a therapeutic uhm... end goal

"Your abuser despite his (and it is ALWAYS a he) affect, power, influence, or even your feelings to him, is wrong about you and told you lies that control and undermine you. Leave them behind. Don't engage. Separate yourself and reasoning from them. You will be free and see them as powerless a shadow and not even need the same thing from anyone else. Because you have a more substantive and whole thing from yourself"

with

"Abuser is inhuman blind liar and nothing like you so have no fear. Its all a conspiracy and you'll never be like him no matter what you do!"

This is a common thing. Over and over and over. What grants the greatest... win or catharsis or validation for the audience's hero/standin. Moreso if queer representative.

Now, I do like the talk Luz has about this. And its meaningful, without prompting, she comes to this bad emotional place by her own reasoning and feelings. SHOWING how much she's grown and avoided being a Belos.

Its the "you were never alike along" that really bugs me. Not you changed and avoided that path thanks to acceptance of and by others so have become better. But He was conspiring and lying because that all he is which you never were doing (which is remarkably...untrue in my mind. Or says forgiveness is only for the innoecent uwu baby which no matter what the polycule aspirants are)

Moreover whenever its time to imply or make decisions its to absolve the likable or standins (or useful) or scapegoat Belos like some "The Devil Made Me Do It" figure which creeps me out. I thought the entire point was to AVOID that

Its not that

there are guys so hateful so ambitious so DANGEROUS you had to use violence and people who willfully double down do these things. It sucks but.. this how it goes. here what like and how we get from there to here and how deal with even the psychological aftereffects

Its that

said stubborn blindness in everyone is all sourced by this one conveniently hatable guy.. who also is just smart enough to cause and control all but you're just so smart and special and vigorous enough can't compel you, never did. Or he is stupid enough basic teenage stubbornness foils him time and again with little cost or effort but to the fee fees.. maybe true defeat when don't feel bad anymore

Again it, to me, has always felt like at ODDS with where Owl House started. A mature take on dealing with differences and expression and learning to get along and yes tolerate not just differences but 'enemies'

Not least because they don't ever have to

Hey? Girl who has career investment and resents you and etc etc etc secretly just repressed lesbian for you.

Hey? Guy who is true believer in cause and dismissive of everyone interrupting to it? Just woobie tormented by evil abuser. Not his fault and never going to hurt you because he's so nice and tortured. But also his beliefs have no validity or positivity and were never necessary.

Hey? Guy who avoids emotional conflicts and the difficult human investments, neglecting his relationships to focus on his hobbies and then turns people into components...for his self image is TOTALLY different than a stage mom because.. uhm... well she's socially ambitious and DIRECT as toneglectful exploitive in their abusive action.

Hey? Your teasing super popular bully is secretly just like you once they accept that they will have to get along (serve to) your goals while adding to your found family (staff and servants to ease your struggles with difference, labor, money, resources, or knowledge. Conveniently.. well save for occasional emotional maintenance whew no things and effort and time and work you value thought)

ETA Hey the family who blames you for your failure, resents your marginalization, and arrogantly wishes to fix you? Always outshine by you in clash knows less than you. And after come Crawling back to you benevolent forgiveness confess they cursed you! Once convert and undermine their worldview or prioritize you as to have serious issues with your criminal, self harm, and possible addiction behavior, then perhaps you can forgive them if will continue the obsequious or usefulness. (damn maheshwarens look at the clawthornes going there for the grace of God would go i)

Hey? Those horrible parallels you notice between yourself and people you hate is just an illusion put on by an evil white guy who embodies what you hate about society and authority or that asshole from that institution you have to put up with for your education. You're not at fault because you made a mistake and you feel bad about it and with perfect knowledge and power you'd never be like them so striving for same you won't do the same things.

And AGAIN i get where this comes from and why and even in some cases its necessary but tell me there isn't something just a little TOO damn close to

The Narcissist's Prayer (by Dayna Craig)

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

At the least we're at lines 6-4 for the lesson/character assessment/embodiment so with the NARRATIVE supplying lines 1-3. Information always happens to clarify a situation so the initial hook gets put down.

Moreso with the idea of the supervillain narcissist who all your own problems and bad actions can be attributed or sourced. (I avoid the Invisible man movie for a line implying this. sure sure I'm certain 'in context' its justified. that's the thing lines 1-3 is ALWAYS made 'in context with what feels a powerful idealized stand in' where things bend just enough for the character. Not really the dread female or minority character accusation word but close enough or evokes my same issues (have same or similar problems with Shinji, the world is or reflects or exists to further his depression so feels.. unreal)

Made worse because of the ... meeting in the middle of the lines or the completion the problem isn't "narcissism" -which can be inborn in exceptions who are people or exceptional people- but also develop in you and me. No the problem is the "narcississt" this shibboleth (forgive my cultural appropriation and feel free to correct with better less sacred or more accurate term) Archetype Modern Folklore Myth ("but its real I used The Sciencetm not Re-lulz-gen") I Learned From Validating Empowering Source. The Narcissist is always a collection of traits in a person who is other and despicable who has made the real mistake of being both ambitious, respected, and un-ignorable/supportive down to the core. enviable AND stronger.

Oh and Belos is always lying, to himself and others .. but doesn't believe or operate in a way to best support the lie. Say, recruiting a mob or authority or gang to go into the demon realm to enact a plan?

Why did he try that stupid lie? He's a MUCH better liar than that!

Heck he hasn't really had a hatred of Luz so much as witches and the demon realm mixed with an immature hero narrative that foregoes compassion or self reflection.

But even if it was ALL a lie. If he was at the desperate point he was willing to humble himself to the witches and Luz just to save his skin why be THAT preposterous?

Because the only threat he's EVER allowed to make is emotional to trigger Luz/audience trauma in a way that them having been marginalized in a way very VERY likely shared but specific enough to neuroatypical queer younger people or folks who have been near such can very much relate to.

Its like the bad guys in Dragon Prince becoming demonic untalking firezombies in contradiction to preaching following a religious appearing figure.

Too damn indulgent.

Have Raine, King Clawthorne, and Eda beat down Phillip or older Belos. not the Wicked Fals Wizard of the South East from The Bad Times of SUPER PATRIARCHY (and why its bad this season's finest ideological threads)

Have Luz hug her mom after resolute seeing his death, no "save"of her innoencence or responsibility. However vulgar, necessary, or more she killed a dude.

Just... stop it with The Devil Belos who is the Real True Evil because *insert things hate here* who if killed all his influence dissipates as to perpetuates because he's The Source Of All The Flaws, Even Yours Or They Were Mistakes After All He Doesn't Fit In The Found Family/Polycule Dynamics.

I guess end of the day I just disagree with

Dad Titan.

I mean in one way. The assume part. Hate can come from a genuine place. OR false place. Or an insecure place. Or a narcissistic place. I suppose not disagree with his point or even actions.

Its GOOD he makes the distinction he does between Luz and Belos. But Luz wanted guidance and she got validation, particularly the kind that without context doesn't guide to good.

Its why feel so adolescent. Which is FINE as that the primary target of the show. But blows the conflict out of proportion with that target's ACTUAL challenges and needs and keeps the adult responsibility and restraint down to convenience if this is about her coming into her own as an adult woman or taking that adult step.

Compare Camilla's journey to Luz and its... off

Moreso for me the sense sending Luz to camp was 'forced on her' and was 'a bad thing' Lucedas should feel guilty for as to a critical step to better Luz and did end up for the best even in the equivalent of Luz's doppleganger/sister where it happened when she stood in as Camilla planned!

"You can do all the same things without self reflection or ethical consideration if you find the right ideology/cause or are actually a True Victim" feels easier to get than

"This is how you balance your dreams and goals and ambitions with the fact other people are just as rich with their own inner life as you. EVEN IF YOU, as entitled and rightly, HATE THEIR GUTS"

That's taught to the Collector, but surprisingly only when absolved or 'retooled much like EVERY OTHER antagonist before to be a new party member in disguise.. also weaker now with easier exploitable weakness so not have to tolerate the threat of his power and another convenient evil abusive older shadow adult is behind it ALL! I mean don't have to deal with the possible mind warping idea of a clinical socipath or someone inherently more powerful than you you have to WORK to habituate, rehab. Or he is too attached to his trauma and wrath and vengeance, or yoy have to develop and prepare means to substantially restrain/neuter/nerf/drug/etc

much same as not have to tolerate the threeat of Belos's influence or connection and effects. Or that he's one guy when need to dismiss him but Extant all powerful shadow when need to justify your actions that support your hero narrative.

#spoilers #cartoons are series business #series finale #series analysis #The Owl House #3rd season 3 extended episode #character analysis #philip wittebane #Emperor Belos #luz nuceda #toh spoilers

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synstoria · 2 years

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I'm so happy that I let one of my bastard brothers marry his highborn lady love, because my MC is a childfree lesbian, so when she needs a heir she can pick one of their kids to be it.

The kid will have imperial blood on his father side and a noble mother

You might have a third option for your bloodline 😇

I actually don't want children myself and it always has been a huge friction point with my friends and family, like it's a choice a lot of people are still not respecting. Either by considering I am just not mature enough to decide that, or by just not accepting it at all. Anyway, there is actually a full scene dedicate to this question (baby or not baby) with every love interest, because it's an important one to me, and an interesting one in the setting of the game. (Bloodline, tradition etc.)

MC has a strong personality, but it's part of the thing I really wanted the player to decided how she feels about it.

She can love babies and want a lot of them. She can be more neutral and want one for tradition, she can decide she doesn't want one but being conflicted because of tradition. Or she can just decide she doesn't want one and fuck the tradition.

The choice is yours, and have consequences on the epilogue but not necessarly good or bad ones <3

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lucky-dyse · 9 months

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The Nice And Valid Criticisms of Dyson Bradley (bitch)

General warning for Good Omens Season 2 spoilers

Please heed this warning before reading further, thank you.

I just binged the entirety of Good Omens 2 (which I will refer to as GO2 for simplicity from now on) and I had a few thoughts about it.

First of all I want to preface this by saying I loved it. I'm not writing a long hate speech bc I enjoyed every moment of it, there are just some thinky thoughts I need to throw into the void. For example, the writing was superb. Gabriel's "Jim" character was my absolute favourite. I'm a sucker for 'scarecrow' type characters and he was my silly little guy. I wanted to pinch his cheeks. I loved how Aziraphale and Crowley inadvertently adopted him for a solid minute.

The diversity of the show in its entirety was refreshing to see (as a personal complaint, though, I wish we could've seen at least one trans man). Especially the disabled angel. There were only two slight rough spots about the disabled representation that I felt.

1. I did not like how the disabled character kept being forgotten and meant so little to the season that if you removed them nothing would change.

2. I did not like that, despite all of the representation of queer people, people of colour, we only got one visibly disabled character. It felt sort of tokenized, like "hey look at me there's a wheelchair user! Okay onto more of the other minorities that we care more about."

I liked to see the reality that is the fact that queer people can have toxic relationships or be toxic in a relationship. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Nina having a genuinely difficult relationship with Lindsay was good for the fact that it was very real and kicked all the lesbian fetishism a bit by saying "these are people in a relationship, not sex appeal." Which was fucking amazing. So tired of seeing lesbian relationships be perfect all the time. I also absolutely loved the fact that they didn't end up together and did the mature thing. They communicated and decided it wasn't a good idea to date right after Nina got dumped.

Gabriel was a joy to watch and I loved the mystery of what happened to him. Somehow, despite how sudden it was, the relationship formed between Beelzebub and Gabriel didn't feel sudden or forced. It was actually really sweet and I was happy they got to be together. I didn't like how Gabriel's memories came back in a fly, I wish Beelzebub had taken the time to slowly remind him of who he was and ultimately make him a more optimistic and better person from the transition of Jim's experiences to Gabriel's. Though I understand it was a subplot and limited to 6 episodes of already hectic storylines. You can only do so much, especially with the strikes.

Shax was a pretty flat character, which is fine. She made a good antagonist, I just wish there was more of a sense of danger like in the first season. It felt a lot calmer and more love focused, I'd love to see aro representation here too.

Which brings me to my final criticism.

Aziraphale.

Now I have no degree in literature, I am literally [REDACTED] years old and fresh outta highschool. This is mainly just my opinion. As the rest of it has been.

But it was my interpretation that the entirety of GO season one was to represent Aziraphale finally accepting the fact that he is not on the Angels' side nor the Demons' side, but on Crowley's side. I had thought it was quite clear that he and Crowley officially made their own little corner of nice living outside of the binary.

However, this seems completely erased in GO2. It's not clear until the last episode, but Aziraphale still wants to be on the Angels' side after everything. It's like GO1 never happened. It felt like a soft reset of his personality in its entirety. Same with Crowley and the whole "nice" thing. I had thought that he was accepting his niceness enough to tolerate being called it every once in a while.

But neither of them changed. In fact they got worse. They didn't communicate with eachother about their relationship (which, I understand), and then the show ended on a cliffhanger after Aziraphale seemingly completely reverts back to when he first met Crowley. Maybe I'm not understanding something, but it just didn't feel right. I'm not Neil Gaiman at all but it wasn't in Aziraphale's character in my opinion.

That all being said, if you haven't watched it and for some reason you read this anyway knowing there would be spoilers, please go watch it if you have access to it and if you enjoyed the first season. The characters are still so very well written and they feel like real people with real experiences which you don't see often in queer media. It's good representation of real people. I can't wait to see what happens next ♡

#criticism #constructive criticism #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers

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kwikquik · 2 years

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Hear me out: everyone’s arcs would have benefitted from Steve dying instead of Eddie.

Steve: his long-game arc has been ‘become a better person’ not stuck on h.s. popular tropes and achieve unselfish love. With a sacrificial death done for all of them (especially Robin/Dustin/Eddie/Max and definitely not just Nancy), that arc would’ve been completed in spades! Not to mention, his death would’ve deeply affected audiences similarly to how Eddie’s has, AND his character would’ve been eternalized as a mom/martyr meme, forever, serving his stans well in the end. (And they could’ve set up some legacy/flashback stuff to maybe keep the stans watching S5.)

Robin: Robin has barely any arc right now. (It’s been tied too much with Steve.) But she WOULD have an arc if Steve died. She’d be so upset: no one yet really understands the depth of their bond, and that he’s the only one she confided in about being a lesbian. But now, through Steve, she’s met all these amazing people who are canonically different like her (including S5 Will!) and would accept her differences and she would in S5 come around to confiding in them about her bond with him/why. And she’d come out to them and no longer need to hide that part of herself so tightly. She’d continue to become more confident as the savvy badass leader she is.

Nancy: Nancy’s long-game arcs are her needing to overcome her unfounded guilt/trauma about Barb’s death and her coming into her own nerd-dom and badassery versus following the superficial popular crowd and damsel housewife tropes. Steve dying after confessing his continued love to her would deepen a similar “I should’ve been there and saved ‘em” trauma arc. She would break up with Jonathan, from guilt about Steve. But here’s the thing: neither of these deaths were her fault. Her choices did not kill them, circumstances did. She’d continue her badassery arc and move through the guilt arc with a friend who was also there for the Steve death who can help her to see it wasn’t her fault: Robin! And who can, like Jonathan did with Barb, help her get revenge/resolution for his death. And then in the final scenes -- bc she’s resolved the trauma — I could see her and Jonathan reconciling because, ultimately, when she leans into her self confident nerd-dom she has shown that she loves and chose him.

Jonathan: Jonathan’s long-game arc has been his trust issues due to his dad and trauma from being a parentified misunderstood/bullied loner. Nancy breaking up with him from the Steve guilt would deepen his trust trauma arc. But! But! He’s no longer a bullied loner!: he has a best friend Argyle and new familial love and total understanding from his new family Hopper and Jane (who had her own daddy & trust issues before she met the Party and Hop, and honestly being a sister to Jonathan in this way supports HER arc that she is valued/loved/needed as a person, not just as a superhero). And, his brother is growing up and has new support (Eddie - canon they’d be dnd bonded instantly & maybe Robin!) and now can support HIM. And they’d all help him work through those issues til where he has self confidence and self goals/dreams and then in the final scenes, well, see the Nancy arc. He’d be newly confident, driven and mature enough to know she always did love him but had her own issues to work through. And he’d be an even better version of himself now, for/to her. Endgame.

Dustin: Poor Dustin. What’s his arc? Steve’s death would affect him with the same emotion as Eddie but check out this arc: with Steve’s death, Dustin has to come into his own and take the lead to clear Eddie’s name. But w/o Steve he doubly needs the Party- the party that has basically sidelined him since S2. So, we get both a reunited strong Party lovefest but also Dustin now leaning in as genius and natural leader. Together with Robin, he gets the Keiths of the world on board and also changes their minds finally on who Steve was. Together with Lucas, they get the jocks on board, telling the story of Steve’s heroic acts to save Eddie. Together with Erica, they’d get the middle school nerds in the fight and stanning. Together with Mike and Will, they’d get the parents on board led by Karen (who convinces them and goes all badass for once, over Ted’s countering, helping her ‘stronger than housewife, like Nancy’ arc) and Joyce, and Dustin’s mom, who goes all badass for Dusty in the end (and then, hear me out, she and Eddie’s uncle bond over their love for those 2 boys. Endgame lol.) Dustin simultaneously becomes the one that unites the school cliques in unanimous support of Steve and Eddie’s reputation healing. He goes from biggest bullied to biggest leader.

Eddie: And Eddie, he just had so much still to do in his arc! He didn’t retreat but leaned in and is a hero helping to save the community that shunned him! From the groups uniting to clear his name, he completes arcs of being accepted/loved for all his differences and becoming accepting and bringing his big love to all types of people. He learns from Hopper, Mr Clarke et al that a little bit of regular rules/authority are a good thing, bc, like, there is REAL evil and chaos out there to make your real fights against. He graduates! His band becomes beloved by jocks and nerds and every one in between who come to hear his songs “Chrissy,” “Hero with the Hair”, and “DnD End” and the like. They hit it big and Hellfire Tshirts are selling worldwide (wait, that already happened lol)!

Ok that got a little ooc but anyway the point is that Steve’s death instead of Eddie’s S4 could’ve really really served. Instead, I have no idea what half the arcs currently are or how they’ll resolve meaningfully.

#steve harrington #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #eddie munson #dustin henderson #robin buckley #stranger things #jane hopper

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opinated-user · 2 years

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I felt that Lily Orchard channel could have been big, but Lily Orchard sabotages her own channel by being Lily Orchard. I starting to wonder if this by accident or on purpose? Like here are some things she refuses to do and that keeps her fanbase young and naïve. Cite sources, cite artist and stop plagiarizing other Content creators work. I also wonder if this helps keep her audience younger and naive. In high school for me citation was a pain in the butt, but in college citation was explained to me and now I love it and it is important. However, Lily refuses to do it and the younger and naive fanbase might not know why it is wrong not to cite others work. This may turn older fans away from her keeping her fan base smaller then a content creator who does cite work.

Lily refuses to try different stories . What bother me is she wants one story that covers everything to her very specific taste. Instead of accepting that there are many stories that change what she wants to be told differently. CentaurWorld resolves her issue about Steven Universe, but not enough lesbians I guess. Tuca and Bertie has the slice of life components she likes, and bisexual main character but I guess because the show is about adult characters who are not attracted to each other Lily is not interested. Not to mention the countless other content she refuses give the time of day because they are made in other countries or inspired by work of other countries. This keeps her fan base smaller then someone who tries new stories.

Lastly the anger Lily Orchard has is keeping her fanbase smaller and younger and naive. Anger really appeals to younger people. However, once a fan matures anger has less appeal. I think Lily mistakes anger for a good argument which works with younger people, but not with older people. This turns older fans away. However, if these attributes don’t work. Then Lily does the final blow of being mean and abusive to her fanbase which chases away the rest of the fans except the ones who don’t know any better. Then add Lily not taking responsibility for writing fanfics with negative/gross content in them, but yelling at anyone who dares write any fanfic with negative/gross content in them. Which gets rid of the older fanbase who found that out.

Combine all these facts with trying to get rid of anyone who disagrees with her on any trivial topic and you have a recipe for a sabotaged channel.

Lily Orchard could have been good, but instead of learning and growing, she stagnated. I just wonder was the refusal to learn and grow on purpose to keep her audience young and naïve or just Lily refusing mature herself because Lily believe Lily is always right?

LO thinks that maturing or working on herself is reduced to what kind of media she consumes or not, so i'd say that the second option is the most likely one. she doesn't think she has to work on anything else. everything else has to change to accomodate her.

#lily orchard

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badassbutterfly1987 · 9 months

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Fandom Growth Exchange Letter/Prompts

Opt-ins: I am fine with pretty much anything. If you feel like taking a prompt in a dark direction (and there are certainly pairings here that would fit) then I am more than okay with it. Not picky when it comes to smut, no hard DNWs.

The Death Gate Cycle - Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman

Haplo & Xar, Haplo/Xar

I am fascinated by the bits we see of their relationship, how it isn't especially healthy but is still very genuine (he considers Xar an adoptive father but also consistently thinks of him as his lord and master). That Haplo becomes a better person at the same time Xar becomes more villainous. That they still deeply care about each other even as they fight.

Prompts: an early look at their relationship after Haplo is brought out of the Labyrinth. A deeper look at their feelings when they turn against each other. A dark au where Xar tries to forcefully get Haplo back on his side. Or maybe an au where Xar survives the last book and they struggle to lead their people after the harm done between them (mostly on Xar's end, honestly).

2. Dresden Files

Bianca St. Claire/Rachel: poor tragic toxic lesbians. a deeper look at what their relationship was like before and after Rachel's death.

Inari Raith & Thomas Raith, Lara Raith & Lord Raith, Lara Raith & Thomas Raith, Lord Raith & Thomas Raith: twisted unhealthy family dynamics! Thomas trying so hard to keep Inari safe and wanting her to feel loved. the centuries of manipulative affection between Lara and Lord Raith. Lara and Thomas love each other but they're trapped in an abusive family and power structure, more codependent siblings, fighting together or with each other, Lara trying to protect him from Lord Raith, or hurting him at their father's command. I am deeply fascinated by the fact that Lord Raith apparently raised Thomas and allowed him to reach adulthood despite it being much more convenient to get rid of him early which suggests a lot more complexity than is portrayed.

Lara Raith/Lord Raith, Lara Raith/Thomas Raith, Lord Raith/Thomas Raith: similar to above but leaning into the canonical incest and sexual abuse. doesn't have to be smut but I would be intrigued how having that be both so prevalent and accepted would affect how the younger members view the world.

Karrin Murphy & Susan Rodriguez, Maggie Dresden & Susan Rodriguez: would love anything with Susan, there's so much left unexplored with her character. maybe she had a casual friendship with Murphy where they would have lunch and complain about Harry, magic, and monsters. maybe a look at her difficult decisions regarding Maggie from her perspective, loving her daughter and trying to keep her safe but also making the admittedly selfish decision to not tell Harry about her at first.

Margaret Lefay/Lord Raith: toxic trash couple that I adore, intrigued that canon suggests it started as a genuine connection before it went bad, will accept weird fluff or creepy dark.

3. Popsy - Stephen King

Dwight Renfield & Popsy's Grandson

okay so Dwight Renfield from Night Flier is indicated to be the same as the old vampire we meet in Popsy, where there is also a vampire kid that is referred to as his grandson

so what's the story there? is there a biological link? did the vampire adopt a young child and turn him out of loneliness? is this a one-off or a pattern of behavior?

4. Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab

Astrid Dane/Athos Dane/Holland Vosijk, Athos Dane/Holland Vosijk: we know the Danes tortured and used him. just how far did it go when Kell wasn't there?

Osaron/Holland Vosijk: maybe a deeper look at the deal they made?

Ros Vortalis & Holland Vosijk, Ros Vortalis/Holland Vosijk: These two fascinate and make me sad. Either platonic or romantic or something vague in between. Can be pre-canon stuff or a happier canon divergence.

5. Spares - Michael Marshall Smith

I came so close to adoring this book. so maybe a look at stuff that wasn't explored enough?

David & Suej: treated as the most mature well-balanced of the kids and indicated to be close to each other. how do they take care of the younger kids? what are they up to post-canon?

Jack Randall & David, Jack Randall & Suej: Jack accidentally adopted these kids and is definitely making it up as he goes along.

Jack Randall/Nearly: they're implied to get together in the epilogue. what does their new life look like?

6. American Assassin (2017)

Annika/Mitch Rapp: so the movie seemed to be setting them up as a couple before she was killed off, so maybe a closer look at that? maybe they officially get together or it sticks to light flirting? post-canon AU where they're loyal to different factions but also still care about each other?

Mitch Rapp & Ronnie | Ghost, Mitch Rapp/Ronnie | Ghost: a closer look at how these two parallel each other. maybe Mitch joins Ghost? maybe Ghost is instead captured and imprisoned/team tries to rehabilitate him?

Mitch Rapp/Victor: there was so much potential for these two, like there was definitely setup for a rivals-to-teammates-to-friends story. a snapshot of training together and grudging friendship? an AU where Victor doesn't die in the first mission and helps take down Ghost? post-canon AU where they're still a team and have to address the growing tension between them?

7. Ninja (Florentine Movies)

Casey Bowman/Masazuka: they had vibes in movie 1 and I'm convinced there was something going on beyond just student rivalry. like Masazuka is clearly resentful that this outsider was brought in and is treated as one of the best students (think a GI Joe Snake-Eyes situation), something Casey is aware of and seems to feel a little bad when he indirectly gets Masazuka kicked out. Add in the nearly 15 year age gap between them and there's potential for a lot of spiciness. did Casey ever look up to him as a mentor, and did Masazuka ever try to take advantage of that?

Casey Bowman/Nakabara: Casey clearly looked up to Nakabara and it's indicated they trained together. teen crush/secret dating? whatever Nakabara's thinking when he decides to manipulate Casey into killing a rival in movie 2? AU where Casey doesn't realize the truth and stays with Nakabara?

Casey Bowman/Namiko Takeda: these two are just very sweet, lots of lady+knight vibes but ninja flavored. a look at when they officially got together? movie 2 AU where she doesn't die and joins his vengeance quest? happy AU where they get to live and have their family?

8. Scream of the Wolf (1974)

Byron Douglas/John Weatherby

What I call the "intriguingly homoerotic werewolf thriller from the 70s". The full movie is on youtube.

ex-boyfriends? pre-canon hunt? AU where Byron is an actual werewolf? John chooses to accept his ex's murderous urges and agrees to hunt with him again?

9. Universal Soldier (Movies)

John: Day of Reckoning's tragic lead. thinks he's a human avenging his murdered family but nope he's a brainwashed UniSol manipulated into destroying the UniSol revolution. a look at his mental state as he realizes the truth? a look at the previous John clone who didn't go after Luc but didn't stay with the revolution either, trying to settle down with a regular job and girlfriend? an AU where our John joins the revolution? whatever he's up to post-canon with taking over the revolution?

Luc Deveraux/Andrew Scott: you can't tell me these two aren't ex-boyfriends in movie 1. just a couple army guys fooling around in secret? when they're brainwashed UniSols who work together and don't yet remember each other? Regeneration AU where Luc recruits the Andrew clone instead of killing him? a closer look at whatever their deal was in Day of Reckoning, how they managed to recruit an army of UniSols together?

10. Killer7

Coyote Smith/Dan Smith: enemies to rivals to lovers vibes.

Coyote Smith/Dan Smith/Garcian Smith/Kaede Smith/Kevin Smith/Mask de Smith: weird family polycule dynamics. so much potential with their implied backstories, where Garcian fits in as a later addition who became their leader. can include Con in a more platonic part of the dynamic.

Curtis Blackburn/Dan Smith: so we have Curtis, pure evil individual, and Dan, who is Complicated; what did that mentorship look like before it turned sour? considering Curtis'... private hobby, it isn't out of the realm of possibility he took advantage of Dan's loyalty. and after breaking away, is Dan ever haunted by their relationship/his own actions?

Dan Smith & Harman Smith: Dan's second mentor that he also once tried to kill. does he ever regret not killing him? does Harman ever struggle to keep him under control?

#fandom growth exchange #exchange letter

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