#and now he's gone
Text
一遍一遍來過
They come to Di Feisheng in fits and starts, the way any recollections of the last weeks have, blinks of clarity etched out from indistinct colour slowly coming into focus. The first of them is the last; the final memory a man named A-Fei ever had, before Di Feisheng stormed back into consciousness to take his place. It is short, so short he nearly doubts it happened. But Di Feisheng has always been able to depend on his own senses if nothing else, and so its existence is undeniable.
A-Fei, a boy's voice calls out, fine silk and warmth cradling him as he slumps to hard stone, a split instant before the world fades to nothing. His eyes are already closed, but A-Fei knows who it is, who rushed to his side without hesitation.
Where is Fang Duobing now? Di Feisheng thinks idly, in his spare moments wandering this gilded cage of Jinyuanmeng. Is he with Li Lianhua still, determined to follow that man to the end of the jianghu? For all his fumbling earnesty and pettiness of youth, at least Fang Duobing can be trusted to wear only one face. Unlike others who pretend even now, all rouge-red smile and sickly sweet words, to look after Di Feisheng.
And so the remembering begins.
Next to return, like the first, is a mere flash across Di Feisheng's mind. Of darkness, the even breath of one sleeping falling against his neck, another body rolling over to curl along his back.
What are you doing, xiaozi? A-Fei says, whispered rumble in the night. Fang Duobing, lost in dream, does not answer. His steady weight stills further into slumber.
A-Fei drifts closer to sleep himself with Fang Duobing tucked against him. It will not be the last time.
They shared a bed before, Di Feisheng knows this. Li Lianhua left them no choice. The soft trust of that act, though, is new. He imagines turning his back on someone in sleep, himself and not A-Fei, without even a blade under his pillow.
It is an unsettling thought.
A-Fei, Fang Duobing says in the next memory, A-Fei, and when A-Fei turns at his call he reaches to adjust A-Fei's mask, sword-calloused fingers lightly brushing his jaw.
And—
Do you like this one, A-Fei? Fang Duobing asks, pointing out a bolt of fabric in a dark plum, patterns running across it in an even deeper shade. A-Fei doesn't think he ever came to tailor's shops for robes, like this. He knows no one asked him before what he likes, like this.
He nods, and Fang Duobing smiles in self-satisfaction, sliding Li Lianhua's coins across the counter.
And—
Fang Duobing looks up at him, hand clasped to his mouth after words gone astray, eyes wide and shining. What aspirations do you have, A-Fei? he said, but how far can a man without a past dream into the future?
His gaze is demanding in its curiosity, expecting too much from A-Fei. What does he have left to give to a boy like Fang Duobing, so stubborn in his refusal to ever stop caring?
And then one day Di Feisheng studies the line of his back in a steam-clouded mirror, water from the bath trailing down his skin, glimpsing the faintest of raked marks still yet to fade away—
Fang Duobing gasps into his neck, words half-formed and lost, clawing A-Fei closer by wherever he can blindly reach. The night is a blur of heat and breathless sound, sweat cooling on both of them in the autumn dark, clinging in this village full of ghosts and A-Fei doesn't care. Cannot bring himself to care, driving himself deeper into Fang Duobing, held down to the sheets by A-Fei's grip at his wrist and every snap of his hips.
A-Fei, he hears his name again, caught against the edge of a moan, and A-Fei lowers his head to taste it on Fang Duobing's tongue himself.
In the shadowed doorway, out of the corner of A-Fei's sight, he catches the smear of Li Lianhua's silhouette against the black. Footsteps halted in shock, or maybe amusement.
The wave crests. A-Fei's world tips into blissful white, and Fang Duobing cries out.
Di Feisheng, now, searches for a flower that exists in legends in the name of Li Lianhua. Unwavering, whatever draw toward him it is that Di Feisheng has known , since Li Xiangyi first brought his blade against his own. This has not changed; in this lifetime, it will not.
Yet A-Fei, even in just the briefest of moments scattered like stars, across from Fang Duobing... in all his few months of existence, he could have had a chance to be content.
(Di Feisheng hopes that, at least for one night, the last night of company, he was happy.)
(He wonders, again, where Fang Duobing is, and sacrifices a foolish second to hope for a disappeared man's wish that he might have been, too.)
~*~
(Dear reader, they both were.)
#mysterious lotus casebook#difang#di feisheng#fang duobing#fic#ashton writes fic#hi hello i'm feeling far too emotional about the idea that di feisheng loved li xiangyi/li lianhua#but it was a-fei who loved fang duobing#and now he's gone
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's missing Aether hours again
#the band ghost#nameless ghouls#aether ghoul#aether my beloved#my comfort ghoul#my safety ghoul#they took him away from me#i'll never see him live#i miss him#i miss him so much#i can't do this#bring him back#please come home#i'm literally sitting here in tears#he was everything#the reason i fell so hard for ghost#it was him#and now he's gone#i am not ok
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love is the most twisted curse of them all
#i can't get over him#i simped for this character since 2020#that's 4 fucking years#4 fucking years dedicated to this 1 idiot#and now he's gone#and now I'm supposed to move on?#how...#he won't be relevant to manga anymore#ok maybe a couple of snippets and a time skip but that won't do it#he's not actively involved in the manga anymore#prison realm was just gege's way of making us get used to him not being around#i'm so tired#the feelings are heavy#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk 236#jjk spoilers#jjk leaks
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
"And Now He's Gone"
Love & Rockets Volume 2 #5 (Summer 2002)
Jaime Hernandez
Fantagraphics Books
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Glaswyn died :(
#none of my friends are really going to care#they just think he's a dumb fih#but he wasnt dumb he was smart and he cheered me up#and i failed and he got stuck in the filter and died#i dont even know how he got stuck in the filter#but i feel horrible#he trusted me and liked to hang out near me when i studied or played games#and now he's gone#and it feels like my fault
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ray Stevenson's death was one of the most shocking and devastating ones for me.
#ray stevenson#titus pullo#blackbeard#baylan skoll#scott buxton#frank castle#the punisher#isaak sirko#volstagg#not even a big star wars fan#but for some this was their first exposure to him#and now he's gone
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kenaz: I told you every day I was in the circus that Pablo was a bitch, and you told me it was fine!
#and now he's gone#stole a shard#and gave it to the evil organization#fuck Pablo#dnd quote#Kenaz#invasion arc
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is anyone else having a Rough January?
Like a ton of my clients at work are having a bad time, lots of bad luck, major things like losing jobs and cancer, and it just feels like it been extra terrible.
#hiding it in the notes#but today my mom's dog died#like she called me and said she contacted the vet and it was probably nothing#then i called her later and he had just stopped breathing#and now he's gone#we went to her house bc she doesn't have a car to transport him and we got him to the vets to be cremated#but it was so sudden#and it just feels like January is being very cruel
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'll miss you forever.
#he was okay 24 hr ago#and now he's gone#i hadn't seen him in a year and now he's gone#my heart is broken in ways i dont think will ever heal#please hold your animals close tonight and love them for me
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
so kim jung gi died yesterday. why even get outta bed anymore
#beck yammers#death#for context: he's that dude who could draw huge sprawling murals worth of art in hours w/ no references#he was imo literally one of the most talented modern artists Period#and now he's gone
1 note
·
View note
Text
Missing my cat hours ✌🥲
-E
#he was my family#we were raised together#and now he's gone#and i miss him so much#i have a violin cover of summertime sadness playing in my earbuds and im sobbing into my pillowcase lol#tw pet loss#plural
0 notes
Text
Happiness was the foreign, uncomfortable state. This sadness is like coming home again.
#had everything i ever wanted for three months#and now he's gone#i should have known really#good things don't happen to me#i don't know why i thought this time would be different
0 notes
Text
"I'll pay you 10 times the amount you were given to take me out." Bruce Wayne is, very out of character, super serious and looking at him so intense.
Danny isn't paid enough to figure out why the supposed himbo isn't acting like it.
"You know what? Yeah. Deal." He fishes his phone out, accepting the money transfer and calls his boss for the day.
"Heyyy big guy– yeah‐ I know... anyway! I'm not killing Bruce Wayne, you should find someone different to do it— bye!" And he hangs up, cutting the shouting with a grin.
"If you ever, and I mean, ever need someone out of the way, call me."
He happily hands his contact information to the billionaire and swoops out of the window.
He is rich! So mega rich!
("Did you just buy the mercenary?"
"He's a kid! I panicked!"
"At least you got a phone number??")
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#fic prompt#writing prompt#dc x dp prompt#danny was disowned and ran from home#bad reveal gone wrong#hes now a mercenary for hire#hes so good at it too#literally deadpool coded
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
I miss him.
I miss our grumpy old man.
I miss him pacing up and down the coaching area doing his weird little shrugs and looking about ready to bite some heads off if given the chance.
I really just miss him.
#that grumpy old man was so special to me#and now he's gone#leaving a big grumpy shaped hole in my life#😢#Fernando Santos#Portugal NT#European Qualifiers
0 notes
Text
the man trained by the shimotsuki since childhood, the mind behind the three sword style, the demon pirate hunter, vice captain of the Strawhat Pirates,
easily stopped with a hand on his shoulder by his captain (currently in a silly hungry vibe)
#he blink#HE'S SO CUTE#help#zolu#zoro#luffy#one piece live action#one piece#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#my thinking is that zoro's survivalist (glorified anxiety) instincts found some peace in Luffy's presence at this point in the opla#any other person who tries to pull zoro back by the shoulder the way luffy just did? gone. zoro is suddenly fruit ninja again#any other person who even tries to REACH for him gets sliced n diced#especially to reach from behind him which is a general blind spot#someone with zoro's training would know how to track what happens in his blind spots#but someone with zoro's heart recognized luffy and said 'oy chill he's good he's the homie'#outside of his fight or flight mode#zoro feels safe enough now (in Luffy's presence) to become his true self#A Tired Stormcloud Character#who's going to tell opla zoro this is only the start#Strawhat shenanigans#on another note his earrings are so fkn pretty like *makes grabby hands*
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
The lighting in the S1 1941 flashback is so painfully dark I was rewatching it on a 150% brightness and perhaps I am five years late, but how come I've never noticed that this
is how Aziraphale gazes at Crowley before the "little demonic miracle of my own"???
This is him before the love realisation, just after Aziraphale miracled them both safe from the bomb exploding on the church with the Nazis. No heartwarming acts of service yet — best to his knowledge, Crowley was only there for moral support, because he "didn't want him to get embarassed".
And his gaze is— I don't know what to say. Like it would kill him to look away. So fond, so immersed, "oh God, there you are", like hundreds of years have passed, not decades since they saw each other last. Books? What books? What air raid, what war?
Arguably the best part of the scene happens literal seconds after. If you pay close attention to the whole shot, you'll spot the brown satchel on the side. Which Aziraphale would notice earlier too, if he could focus on anything other than Crowley.
#good omens#good omens 1941#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#aziraphale x crowley#good omens analysis#good omens meta#ineffable spouses#good omens s1#gos1#anthony j crowley#i'm going to be sick#michael sheen what if this is my last straw? what then?#i blame the eternal darkness of these shots that i've only noticed this now#aziraphale was there!! smitten gone so SO BAD for him!!!!! and he was the one who did all the hard bits!!#end me please#marcela talks
1K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
delicious--food
food Blog
buenosairesguias
Guía Comercial
harddinosaurwombat
Untitled
leelooart
Leelooart
janeymargolis
Bored to Death