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spider-stark · 11 months

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(mouse crumb anon) Also your TASTE, ive always had a soft spot for tobey before i developed an equally big one for dane and andrew, which is surprising bc i actually didnt think about tasm that much when it first came out, and now i just wish tasm and its cast was given better! like i think these were interesting interpretations of the characters that are distinct from raimi’s and ripe enough to really explore

if it were only done a bit more justice 😔 especially dane’s harry because i think he nails a certain mixture of bitterness, desperation, and ruthlessness that i wouldve liked to see progress in a less rushed movie. it’s such a different vibe from raimi’s harry osborn. and maybe i wouldnt have gone the blood route, but i do think there was some cool storytelling potential in adding that genetic curse element to the tasm osborns

god. i don’t mean to be so forward, but truthfully, i might be in love with you lmao but no, seriously, i have SO many opinions on dane’s harry osborn and tasm2 as a whole!

i think that dane dehaan was quite literally perfect for portraying harry, especially this version of him. but you’re right, the writers really didn’t do him justice and the storyline as a whole is just kinda messed up in my opinion? i agree that the genetic curse side of things is a very interesting take that had a lot of potential, but i have so many issues with the i need spider-man’s blood thing.

truthfully, with the way it was written, it actually ended up just making me feel terrible for harry and understand why he snapped and hated peter? like he’s supposed to be a horrible villain, but aside from him killing gwen i truly just feel bad for him and that’s it.

i mean, let’s really look at this: he’s got extensive trauma from his upbringing and his dad throwing him away like trash, then his dad dies, he finds out he has an incurable genetic disease, he’s suddenly in charge of a multi billion dollar company, peter shows up and acts like he wants to be there for him, and then when harry could actually use any form of support, peter is just gone. even if peter was anti giving harry his blood, it’s extremely out of character for him to have not wanted to try at ALL to save his friends life? make it make sense.

regardless, i very much so agree that i would’ve liked to see a better and less-rushed progression for harry’s character. because you’re right, he is bitter, he is desperate, and he is ruthless! but almost all of these things are rooted in having been traumatized, mistreated, and turned away. his character had so much potential to be a truly incredible villain, but it just felt like they looked over so much with him. this is exactly why in the tasm story i’m writing, i very much so plan on fleshing his character out the way i felt he deserved lol cause otherwise i’ll never rest

if you can’t tell, i’m very much so a harry osborn sympathizer over here and could talk about it forever lol but also yes tobey <3 love him <3

#dane dehaan #harry osborn #tasm harry osborn #raimiverse #tasm #the amazing spider-man #tobey maguire #tasm2

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rainbow-dot · 2 years

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I have several things to point out from Spider-man no way home:

First of all, I’m in tears, I’m in fucking tears.

Alfred Molina never fucking disappoints excuse me??!!!

Willem dafoe fucking neither

Spiderman being that powerful that he can move his body after being pushed out of it??? Excuse me??? Amazing

The devil of Hell’s kitchen just being the best lawyer by catching a freaking brick 😭😭

The mirror dimension getting better and better and Peter discovering that it’s just geometry and him being able to stop and rob strange??? Amazing

MJ and Ned deserves the award for best friends ever, those two stood with and trust Peter like no tomorrow and I love them for that

Killing May after saying the iconic phrase was a duck move and a hurtful one, he really lost the last of his family

The scream I left out of my body when Andrew appeared?? All dressed up in his iconic suit and being him?? Fucking amazing bro, in fucking tears

“I don’t have bread spidey tingling” *throws more bread at him*

“This is just a dude” BITCH DOMT DISRESPECT TOBEY LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN.

The cry for help when Tobey appeared.

I was expecting them to appear, but at the same time I didn’t want to expect a lot for nothing in return

The speech that Andrew gave about his beloved Gwen??? I was in fucking tears excuse me???

Tobey saying that he always wanted brothers 🥲

Andrew cracking Tobeys back was also fucking amazing pls stop it 🥲

Andrew saying “I love you guys” STOP

Andrew saving MJ bc he couldn’t save Gwen and at the end crying while realizing he can do it and he is not lame I’m screaming

The three spiders swinging together and forming the pose together, my dream exactly 😭

Otto showing that he always was good, but that he was highly confused

Tom always doing the right thing and trying to save the “bad guys” instead of killing them, even when they did so many shitty things.

Tobey and Andrew having the “we need to stop him” look when Tom was ready to kill Goblin and then saving him for what could have been the worst ending for him

The hug between the three spiders

Tom Holland portraying emotions in such a good fucking way god dammit

The kiss between MJ and Pete that we all deserved

✌️✌️

Also all the theme songs for the villains, the memories it brought back god damn

The ending is just murder for me

The scene credits with Eddie trying to understand what is happening in this universe and venom staying

The other credits scene with Wanda, Dr Strange and evil Dr Strange ☠️☠️

This movie is in another level and i won’t accept nobody saying that this is trash or bad made, this is OUT IF THE LEAGUE, it plays on its own league and that’s it

I will now treasure this movie until the day I die

#marvel #mcu #spiderman no way home spoilers #spiderman no way home #spiderman #Tom holland #tobey maguire #andrew garfield

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fluffy-lee · 2 years

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Brothers

This is a TICKLE fic

Tom!Peter x Andrew!Peter x Tobey!Peter

Warnings: Some swearing, a lot of tickling

Word Count: 1667

Summary: Peter 2 and Peter 3 portal to visit with Peter 1 to spend time together. In doing so, a playful fight breaks out between them to see who is the strongest, but they ended up discovering they all have the same weakness.

For the sake of fluff, the events and technicalities of No Way Home are ignored.

Peter 1 just got off the phone with the pizza delivery place. He smiled to himself, excited to hangout with his big brothers tonight. It had been a week or two since they portaled over to this universe last. How weird? Two hims from other universes had become his close friends. And why not? Peter Parker was a cool guy!

Peter picked up his apartment, making sure it was clean and set the old round table ready for them to eat together. He was so excited. It had been a long week of patrolling and the media bashing “Spider-Man.”

All of a sudden a portal lit up the room and out stepped the tallest Spider-Man with fluffy brown hair.

“This is still so weird. Hi Peter!” Peter 3 said.

“Hi Peter!” Peter 1 said.

“Where’s Peter 2?”

“I’m here!” Peter 2 said as another portal appeared, giving the room a soft, orange glow.

The three Peter Parker’s had a group hug and then the doorbell rang.

“Pizza time!” Peter 1 said.

Peter 2’s eyes widened a bit.

“You okay?” Peter 3 asked Peter 2, as Peter 1 went to the door.

“Just weird, same person stuff.” Peter 2 said.

“All of us liking pizza isn’t that weird, silly!” Peter 3 chuckled.

“That’s not… You know what? Never mind.” Peter 2 said.

Peter 3 tilted his head.

Peter 1 set the pizza on the table and they all sat down to eat, discussing their week.

“I went to Sonic five times this week.” Peter 3 said.

“What’s your Sonic order?” Peter 2 asked.

“Oreo shake, mozzarella sticks, sometimes I get a burger but they always put way too much mustard.” Peter 3 answered.

“Oh… See I thought we’d have the same order.” Peter 2 said.

“Tony used to take me. I’d get two wacky packs and a grape nerds slush. That’s the shit!” Peter 1 said.

“Nah bro that’s trash.” Peter 3 joked.

“Blue coconut cream slush… Now THAT…that’s the shit.” Peter 2 said.

“Bro I bet you’ve never tried a grape nerds slush!” Peter 1 said to Peter 3.

“Blue coconut cream slush IS good.” Peter 3 agreed with Peter 2. “Yeah.. because it’s for NERDS.”

“You’re a nerd!” Peter 1 argued back.

Peter 3 raised his eyebrows.

“Guys… Guys. It’s safe to say we’re all nerds.” Peter 2 said, trying to keep the peace.

Peter 1 and Peter 3 playfully glared at each other while Peter 2 watched the both of them.

“You know, I think you should be careful, Peter, I am older than you and I’m stronger.” Peter 3 said.

“That’s a big claim to be making, Peter!” Peter 1 spat.

“Should we find out?”

“No. No, we should NOT find out.” Peter 2 pleaded.

“Let’s!”

Peter 1 and Peter 3 rose from their seats and faced each other with nothing between them.

THWIP! They both shot their webs at each other and were dodging and running around the apartment, making a mess. Peter 2 sighed and observed the fight. While the two other Peter’s were distracted Peter 2 shot his webs at their ankles, knocking them off their feet onto the floor.

“STOP USING WEBS!” Peter 2 yelled.

“Ok! Ok! No need to yell!” Peter 1 said, raising his hands in defense.

“Yeah don’t be such a bully!” Peter 3 said.

Peter 2 smiled and shook his head. “It’s pretty obvious. We all have the same weaknesses.”

“Don’t! We don’t have weaknesses!” Peter 3 said cockily.

They all agreed, except Peter 2 did think of something…

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” Peter 2 said, blushing a bit. “My MJ does tickle me quite often. Ever since I was biten, I have noticed I am really ticklish.”

Peter 1 felt his heart drop to his stomach. Shit.

“DUDE! Me too. Oh it’s so bad. Gwen would tickle me too and I thought…hahaha I thought I was gonna die!” Peter 3 shook his head with a laugh, smiling fondly at the memory.

Peter 2 and Peter 3 turned to a very quiet, red-faced Peter 1.

“You too?” Peter 3 asked Peter 1.

Peter 2 immediately knew Peter 1 was flustered and that made him chuckle.

“Me? Me too, what? W-What me too? You too?” Peter 1 said, brutally losing his cool, stumbling on his words.

Peter 3’s eyes widened. “Someone’s nervous!”

“Nervous is an understatement!” Peter 2 giggled.

“Me? I-I-I’m not nervous!”

“Now why would you be nervous?” Peter 3 asked teasingly, knowing good and well Peter 1 must be hiding something.

“I’m not!”

“I don’t know… Something about being ticklish made you tense up. Is that it?” Peter 2 asked.

Peter 1 looked at his lap, absolutely flustered. “Maybe.”

“Well listen, little bro. You know I’m gonna have to test this right? Like this is my job. There’s nothing I can do about it.” Peter 3 said apologetically, though he was not sorry.

“Oh no…” Peter 1 said.

“Oh yes!” Peter 3 boomed, tackling the younger Peter to the ground.

Peter 1 tensed up and squealed in anticipation.

“I already know your spots!” Peter 3 went straight for the tummy, sending Peter 1 into hysterics.

Peter 2 was 100% enjoying the scene in front of him, but he was going to let Peter 3 have his fun only for a little while.

Peter 3 wasn’t surprised to see Peter 1’s reaction, but it sure did make him smile.

“Awww! Look how ticklish this little NERD is!” Peter 3 said, slyly reminding him of the insult from earlier.

Peter 1 just laughed his heart out, but when Peter 3 tickled up to his ribs he was squealing and thrashing like a maniac. This made the older Peter’s laugh.

“Yep. That’s exactly what I would do!” Peter 2 chuckled.

“Okay then! You’re next!” Peter 3 quipped, making Peter 2 a bit nervous.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAAA PLEASEEE NOT THEHEHERE!” Peter 1 screamed as Peter 3’s tortuous fingers scribbled deep into his sides and hips.

“Oh trust me you don’t want me to go somewhere else. You know where I will go.” Peter 3 warned, referring to the most ticklish spot that most definitely makes every Peter Parker melt.

Peter 1 decided to shut up and take it, or he knew he would go to the death spot.

“Peter, come help please.’’ Peter 3 said, casually.

“Alright, fine, but we're going to let him breathe after this.” Peter 2 said, walking behind the thrashing teen’s head.

Peter 3 who was busy tickling his tummy, looked up at Peter 2 with a mischievous grin.

Peter 2 smirked back and began fighting with the youngest Peter’s flailing arms. Peter 3 went to his neck, tickling there, making Peter 1’s arms fly up and Peter 2 caught them pinning them above his head.

Peter 3 teasingly raised his hands above Peter 1. Peter 1 was loving this, but hating this at the same time. He knew what was about to happen and the butterflies in his stomach were going nuts.

“IT’S TIME! FOOOR THE DEATH SPOT!” Peter 3 announced playfully. Then his tickling fingers fell into Peter’s armpits and that’s when Peter belly laughed so hard that tears pooled in his eyes. He tried so hard not to scream and alert the whole apartment complex. So he just laughed and laughed and thrashed until he couldn’t fight it anymore as Peter 3’s tickles made him so weak that all he could do was lay there and take it. The other two found it hilarious.

“OK! Don’t kill him!” Peter 2 laughed letting his arms go.

Peter 3 laughed and let up. Peter 1 turned to his side catching his breath.

“Ok Peter! Your turn!” Peter 3 said, pulling at Peter 2.

“Oh I don't think so!” Peter 2 said, pushing Peter 3 back.

Peter 3 lost his balance and stumbled backwards and already started giggling as Peter 2 started to tickle all over his torso. Peter 3 just accepted it and happily laughed and squirmed around. “Hey! Thahahat tickles!” He laughed.

“Yeah that’s the point!” Peter 2 said.

Peter 1 sat up panting, hair all messy, and revenge quite evident on his face.

“Get to his death spot!” Peter 1 growled.

Peter 3 just shook his head “no” unable to talk through his laughter.

“You do the honors then!” Peter 2 said, shifting and pulling Peter 3’s arms above his head.

“Gladly!” Peter 1 quipped, immediately tickling Peter 3’s underarms.

Peter 3’s reaction wasn’t much different from Peter 1’s the laughing and thrashing was very similar and quite amusing. Peter 3 loved it and it was obvious. He didn’t try to hide it one bit. Peter 2 noticed this. “You haven’t said stop! It’s very obvious you like this!”

Peter 3 just blushed, not able to talk through his deep laughter. Peter 1 laughed at this.

“You didn’t say stop either!” Peter 2 said Peter 1, putting him on the spot.

Peter 1 slowed his tickles to a stop and Peter 3 began recovering with a smile on his face.

“I couldn’t speak!” Peter 1 argued.

“You definitely could.” Peter 2 argued back with a smirk.

“N-no!”

“You can’t lie to me! I’M YOU!”

Peter 3 had his head resting on Peter 2’s leg watching the back and forth exchange.

“I DON’T!”

“Yes you do! You like being tickled!” Peter 2 continued.

“Well if you’re me, that means you like being tickled too!” Peter 1 said.

A big smile spread across Peter 3’s face.

“So, you admit it!” Peter 2 smirked.

Peter 1 froze. “I- No, I-”

The other Peter’s gave him the same teasing look making him blush more.

“Well, I like it! I’m not trying to hide it. The armpit thing I hate though. That’s too much.” Peter 3 said.

“I will neither confirm nor deny.” Peter 2 grinned.

Peter 1 and Peter 3 smirked at each other. Peter 2 knew it was bound to happen.

“So… how about another slice of pizza?” Peter 2 asked nervously.

Peter 1 and Peter 3 pounced on their big brother.

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emcon-imagines · 2 years

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***SPIDERMAN NWH SPOILER WARNING*** First of all KFBDBISVFHRIFJH IT WAS SO GOOD AMAZING INCREDIBLE I CANT DESCRIBE IT. Second sorry if this is long and all over the place idk how to put my thoughts into words in an organized manner. To start, can I just say how much I love Ned, I didn’t realize how funny he was how did I miss it. Also, seeing the movie made me realize just how I had absolutely no fucking clue what the movie was about (cause in my head after accidentally seeing 0.5 second clips, I had made up this whole plot) and then AUNT MAY 😭😭😭😭 If I had been alone watching the movie I would have bawled my eyes out, cause WHY?! They didn’t have to do us like that ;( and then the three spidermans, absolutely BEAUTIFUL *chefs kiss* I loved it all, just seeing them interact idk I can’t explain it, despite not watching their other movies, I LOVED it. (I watched Tobey’s when I was younger but I don’t really remember, and Andrew’s I haven’t watched but I have seen the scene of Gwen). I think this is my favorite Spider-Man movie out of Tom’s three. Also I kind of thought they would make fun of the “with great power comes great responsibility” line cause of how commonly it’s used but nope. And I was a little lost on who the villains were cause you know i haven’t watched their movies but still I loved it. omg I almost forgot how could I. When MJ is falling and Peter tries to catch her but fails and then Andrew’s Spider-Man dives after her cause he couldn’t have what happened to Gwen happen to her and catches her and just holds her while crying 😭😭😭 I will say though that Peter (tom’s) annoyed me a little cause Ik he wanted to help everyone but strange was right cause if he changed the fate of the villains there are gonna be side effects to that, and then he did all of THAT, and Aunt May dying and the whole city basically getting trashed only to end up back to the beginning, only he could have avoided everything if he sent them back 🤡 also I sometimes ruin movies with a lot of special effects for myself cause I just imagine what the behind the scenes must look with them doing silly things and looking stupid and then I feel like I don’t really ENJOY it as much although maybe that’s just me tricking myself into thinking that I’m not enjoying it when I am, I have no clue now (it’s like when I was little and I found out that people lipsync in music videos, my whole world changed) anyways, the ending 🥺🥺 whyyyyyyyyy?;?:$: I just kept thinking about the fact that NO ONE would remember him, like the avengers wouldn’t even know about him anymore, wouldn’t know how much Tony cared for him or their interactions before that (oh my god I wrote that and I just remembered that nat died too and that Steve became a grandpa, and they are the only ones that really interacted with Peter (I think) whatever they are all alive in my head 😌) the whole time after strange wiped their memories, I was waiting for Peter to tell MJ or Ned a whole speech of who he was but he never said anything :( I understand that though, I’m guessing he didn’t want to burden them again with the whole secret seeing as they got into MIT and everything without him interfering, so he just thought they were better without him, but the fact that the audience is left with that, knowing the whole story while the characters don’t, I honestly felt like Peter for a second :(( anyways I’ll end this rant here, i should really go to sleep since it’s 2 in the morning 💃🏻💃🏻 if I remember something tomorrow I’ll be back, but I wanted to get my thoughts before I forgot the movie

First of all, I know that FEELING EXACTLY when you have so many feelings about something and have to type/go so fast so to not forget any of them also it's literally what I'm doing now akjdfhalksjdfh cause I was so excited to hear your thoughts.

YES NED!! He's so underrated imo and one of the reasons I've been trying to feature him more as an independent character in my OC works because he's just genuinely a great friend and reminds me of one of my friends irl just in everything he does. I wanna be his friend so bad

AUNT MAY I WAS SHOCKED. At first I thought she survived so I turned to my friend and was like "haha the power of the milf" and then she died and I was like "THIS IS A CRIME." Devastated. Totally shifted the tone of the Spider-man movies and I'll never be able to watch the first two the same way again.

THE THREE SPIDER-MEN YES THE WAY THE THEATER SCREAMED

I keep doing backflips trying to think of how future movie could repair the Peter, MJ, Ned trio because they're my emotional support friend group and I definitely projected on to that soooo ummm MARVEL FIX THIS especially since i didn't anticipate this for my OC story and now this Feels Bad Man they were friends :(

I was in total denial the whole drive home lol like it was a 90 minute drive and I was just like

Thank you for sharing all of these thoughts I LOVED THEM and also one more thing the fact that they get to still go to MIT!!! (well... MJ and Ned...) ugh so excited for the MCU to come to Boston /s

Ned is totally right Boston has "wicked crime" Spider-man needs to come here STAT

#no way home spoilers #nwh spoilers #marvel spoilers #etalks

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diabloindigo · 3 years

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Are you the person to open a box of cereal just to get the toy inside? As a kid yes. Right now, I don’t buy cereals with prizes anymore. Do they even stuff toys in cereal these days?

Do you get scared easy? If it’s in the anxiety induced variety, yes.

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? Not sure, it could have been anything from not wanting to wear a fancy dress or dress shoes to a party or a broken toy.

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? Despite having a working dishwasher and plenty of glasses, I “waterfall” milk and juice from the containers.

Juice or milk? I go both ways, leaning more towards juice. Apple or orange.

Do you ever turn off your computer properly? Once in a while.

Do you wish you were a fish? Not really, though I kinda envy the blue Dory (Doctor Fish?) in the tank at my gynecologist’s waiting room. It likes to swim to the bottom of the tank and ride up to the top on a bubble jet. That damn fish has probably had more fun than I have in the past several months.

Who’s your favorite super hero? Invincible (Amazon Prime). Along with Spider-Man (2002) and the Big Hero 6 movie, that character/series is a rare superhero show that makes me feel strong and vulnerable at the same time.

Who’s your favorite super villain? Slade Wilson/ Deathstroke as seen in “Teen Titans: The Judas Contract” animated movie and the 2003-2006 “Teen Titans” cartoon series.

Spiderman or X-men? Spider-Man. Tobey Maguire and Peter B. Parker from Into the Spiderverse.

Movie theatre or stay at home movie night? Theaters. Alamo Drafthouse. I love ordering boozy milkshakes and finger foods.

Do you have a Blue Ray? I have one of those external drives for my Mac though I never use it.

How about HD television? Yeah

Do you think HD television is kind of a waste of money? No.

Do you get why people get so frickin’ freaked out during football season? I do not, and living in a state with a hard-on for (American) football makes it weird when I tell people that I do not have a favorite football team/player.

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? I don’t sneak him food. If I cook or order too much to eat, then I scrape a couple of cup’s worth of leftovers in his bowl. He’s probably got only a year to live so let him live it up a little.

Are you reading a book right now? If so what? A friend gave me a copy of “The Only Good Indians” but I can't get into it so I’m reading “Full Throttle” by Joe Hill.

What was the last book you were required to read for school? It’s been so long I can’t remember.

O donuts or jelly filled? Whipped cream filled. I love Krispy Kreme’s whipped cream filled donuts with raspberry filled donuts as a close second.

If I’m feeling bland then I do like crullers.

Do you like your ice-cream in a bowl or cone? Bowl unless it’s a tasty cone.

Marshmallows in your hot chocolate or no? I could go either way unless it’s a tiny cup of chocolate.

Do you like cherry coke? Hell yes. I love going to Sonic for a cherry-vanilla-lime Coke or this greasy little 1950s type burger joint for their cherry cokes since they load the cups with several cherries.

Do you really think diet Dr. Pepper is the equivalent of a cupcake? No, it tastes artificial. Like a bastard child of a soft drink that wants to pass for cherry soda.

Do you snore in your sleep? Drool? Talk? Snore and talk (I’m pretty stressed out).

Have you ever sleep walked? no

Are you a morning person? I am now.

How do you wake up in the mornings? by alarm during the work week, naturally at 6-7 on vacation days.

Do you think guyliner is hot? What is that?

Is variety the spice of life? yeah

Do you think strawberry milk is disgusting? I like it.

Have you ever drank after anyone? Like sharing a cup/bottle? Yeah, loads of times.

Have you ever drank after anyone you don’t know very well? No.

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after?

If we’re talking about sharing, then I will share food/drink with family and friends. If someone offers me bite-size pieces that are individually wrapped or can be torn off the main portion, I’ll eat it, but only from co-workers or acquaintances.

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? No.

Would you chew somebody else's gum? Hell no.

Do you know anyone who’s going to die of mono because of that? No.

Do you enjoy school? My English and psychology classes.

Are you a teacher’s pet? no

Do you have a job? Yes.

How did you get to and from school? Parents drove me or I walked for elementary through high school. I drove when I went to college.

Do you have a bedtime? And if so what is it? I’m in bed between 11-12 a.m.

What time do you get up? 6 am so I can walk/exercise before the sun boils the earth in full force.

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yeah in college.

What’s more important? Beauty or brains? brains

Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t.

Did you ever want to be an astronaut when you were little? No. Being a veterinarian or scientist were my highest ambitions as a small kid.

How about the president? Never.

What did you want to be when you were little? Veterinarian, scientist, cartoon character.

Did you ever want to be a super model? no

Do you believe you’re attractive enough to be a super model? No.

Have you ever had an X-ray? Several in the past few months for pre-surgery and dental work.

What’s your favorite guy’s name? What’s your favorite girl’s name? Guys’: Shane, Mark, Tadashi, Austin, Cade, Trip.

Girls’: Quince, Sienna, Amy, Kit, Lizzie (Elizabeth), Raven.

Who’s your second cousin’s, grandparent’s, sister? The fuck...

Do you laugh to yourself whenever the ketchup bottle farts? No, in fact, I get annoyed when other people hear it and ask me if I farted.

Do you have any real guns in your house? I have several.

Do you know how to use nunchucks? No, I bought a pair at one of those Asian imports emporiums, but I donated them since I never learned to use them. They were these crappy foam padded ones with dragons printed on the handles.

Do you know anyone who can use nunchucks? No.

What do you want to be next Halloween? In better health and not shitting bricks about using up my paid time off to go to doctors’ appointments.

Did you ever consider getting a job as a mall Santa? No. I’d rather be one of his elves or a reindeer.

Are you the one responsible for taking out the garbage? Yes. Grosses me the fuck out sometimes with smelly discarded poultry trays or rotten food, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Do you recycle? My city has the blue recycling bins, but I heard that since we’re an ass-backward community, “recyclables” and trash all go to the same place. I just place recyclables in the blue bin to help clear up space in the trash bin. Maybe I’m wrong and this city does recycle? Can’t hurt.

When I was 11, I’d collect empty soda cans to take to the recycling guy since back in the day, they’d pay for aluminum cans. That’s how I scraped up funds for dollar movies and hot dogs.

Are you a pyro? Yeah. I carry/collect Zippo lighters but mostly because the “click-click” is satisfying to hear since I flip the lids open and closed to relieve stress. And I burn a lot of old bills and letters with sensitive info on them.

What was the last word/thing you wrote down? I was researching high fiber foods that are also low in carbs to make a grocery and dinner meal plan.

Sleeping or eating? After my surgery, sleeping.

Are you overall a positive person? I try to be realistically positive, if such a thing exists. The world will never be all sunshine and My Little Ponies, but I try to find some comfort and positivity when my world is a shit-show. Filling this survey out kinda helps.

Do you hate hypocrites? Yeah, especially the “do as I say, not as I do” types.

For instance, a certain family member is pushing good diet and health habits, but it aggravates the hell out of me if I see him drinking high sugar iced tea or eating ice cream. Or Door-Dashing Burger King, even if it is a Beyond Whopper with a diet Coke.

Do you like to prank people? Yes, but I do benign pranks like leaving dirty riddles and meme drawings on their front doors.

What was the worst prank you’ve ever done on anyone? I tried fucking with a telesolicitor but I could not stop laughing.

Have you ever jumped on a trampoline in the ice? I don’t own a trampoline.

Have you ever ice skated? No. I tried once after a local minor league hockey game. I got the skates on, but my ankles were bending/bowing out so I changed my mind.

Ever water skiid? No.

Is vacuum spelled funny? Yes.

Democrat or republican? I don’t associate formally with either party, but I hitch my pony a little to the left.

Who’s the biggest asshole you know? My former boss circa 2013. Very unprofessional and a veritable loudmouth and a poor (shit) showman wannabe.

Pen or pencil? Gel-ink pens.

Should all paper have holes? nope

Speaking of holes. Swiss cheese, what’s the point of that? Fewer calories? Spinning slices in my hand like a TV cowboy spinning his revolver in the trigger guard with his finger?

Have you ever been in a helicopter before? No.

Own any airbrushed tshirts? Nope, not even in the nineties.

Have you ever been suspended? No.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? A few playground fights as a kid.

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? Yes.

Do you forgive too easily? I don’t think so.

What are you listening to right now? The AC running.

Have you ever seen any of MCR’s music videos? Nope.

Are you tan? No.

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. I have no desire to look like a Cheeto or woo skin cancer.

Have you ever played water volley? Once at my uncle’s neighborhood swimming pool.

Ever had a sunburn? Yes, from neglecting sunscreen re-applications or underestimating the sun.

How about wind burn? It hurts….. Nah, I don't live in a cold enough climate for that.

What was the first word you learned how to say? I think it was “mama.”

#random monkey shit #survey #ask #bored #Q and A #long post

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monkey-network · 5 years

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Everything Wrong With: Into The Spiderverse [Done Right]

Cinema Sins dropped the fucking ball with that take, so I decided to do it better in honor of this movie releasing on Netflix. All sins will end with a (+), all sin removals will end with a (-). 3, 2, 1, PENGU!

Logos aside, got to sin for that single tone in the music getting uncomfortably louder to me during them. (+)

Nice try, jokes on narration is still narration (+)

Bonus petty sin for not casting Tobey (+)

I love ya, movie, but you just had to crack wise at the best thing to come out of Spiderman 3 (+)

Petty sin for ringing me flashbacks of my childhood. Sure it wasn’t a spidey popsicle, but it hurt just the same (+)

Wow Spidey, way to downplay the other heroes in New York (+)

Sin for making me think Post Malone is a good musician. Good meaning producing more than 1 good song. (+)

Sin off for giving me that pure melanin that is Miles’ family. (-)

Assuming this is all the same morning, how long did it take Miles to get ready? Jefferson was only in a tee at the house yet was conveniently able to catch Miles on the street, fully suited, in the car. (+)

There are police in this movie. (+)

Jameson can’t be around for this one. smh (+)

I’m with Miles. Dad was being pretty petty right there. (+)

Petty sin for making me look at calculus, and I know that’s calc. (+)

Miles shouldn’t be needing all them books. I’m not even there and this school already feels like torture. (+)

Sin off for that smooth Einstein quote (-)

Come on, Miles, you tried too hard to fail. (+)

Seriously, NO student should be having that many books regardless of the schedule. This private school is worse than college. (+)

Okay, three sins off for playing Biggie Smalls (-)(-)(-)

Tho I gotta sin back for censorsing the vocals.(+)

Miles doesn’t at all feel the spider crawl up his body. Even I could feel a bug on my sleeves. (+)

Yet again, radioactive spider bite doesn’t immediately kill ‘em. (+)

A sin not to the movie, but to Marvel for essentially undercutting Miles’ roomie to make way for Homecoming essentially taking that for themselves. I haven’t forgotten. (+)

Sin off for Miles and (G)wanda’s adorkable moment (-)

Says his plan is terrible and throws him over thinking that’ll work (+)

Snitches (+)

Officer says open up and forgets his key to his own office? (+)

Middle schooler is still gunning after taking a steel beam to the gut (+)

What happen to the Green Goblin? He is never mentioned again after this. (+)

“You don’t have a choice“ cliche (+)

Okay, sin off for the flash drive joke (-)

Miles has a phone capable of recording that in good quality (+)

Goblin thinks that’s a good idea that won’t kill him (+)

They killed the Green Goblin. (+)

“No pressure.” (+)

Prowler has special eyewear yet couldn’t recognize Miles? (+)

Bonus sin for the cape (+)

Poor choice of music for a serious scene (+)

Stan lee cameo. Obligated sin off. (-)

Miles survives that fall (+)

Miles takes off layers in the middle of a snowy night and is not cold in the slightest. Not even a shiver in his voice. (+)

This isn’t the last time (+)

I fear what a Spidey themed restaurant is (+)

Beter gets 11 slams across the city, a tombstone to the face, face across high moving pavement, countless more face slams, and doesn’t suffer a full on concussion. I get Spider-Man’s strong but he’s not regenerative nor indestructible. (+)

“Don’t watch the mouth, watch the hands.“ The implications (+)

Beter would be better than Jeremy at CinemaSins (+)

Dude, you got sauce on the lens. (+)

Preferential, but the blurriness of the less focused backgrounds honestly hurts my eyes sometimes, like someone rubbed vaseline on everything but the focused. (+)

Two sins off for playing St. Elmo’s Fire (-)(-)

Beter being barefoot in the snow makes me wanna scream (+)

Tell that to Spiderman E-751263 with his web cape (+)

Ah, the frame that sparked the most basic meme ever (+)

Hobo peter is better Peter, Miles (+)

Two sins for the horrible sight of a desktop (+)(+)

The cellular decay and the glitching doesn’t play all that much in the stakes. The Spidermun don’t get weaker because of it nor affects their combat until the very end. It all makes sense nonetheless, but it feels like an afterthought watching again. (+)

Doc Ock? Still hot. Seven Sins off! (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Doc’s arms are no match for yoga balls (+)

Gwen’s arrival is pretty convenient (+)

Scientists don’t immediately notice/react to the Spidermun barging in (+)

Shout out to the female scientist that wanted no part of it all and just wanted her drink (-)

Bagel! (-)

Microscopic scientists can’t apparently aim for shit (+)

Sin off for the hard rock (-)

Gwen was able to keep all that hair in her mask without a net (+)

Stop saying one last time. There’s gonna be sequels. (+)

“I don’t do friends“ cliche (+)

The Comic Con joke? Peak comedy. (-)

Another sin off for Miles and (G)wen adorkable moment (-)

Wait, wasn’t it snowing outside the other night? It all melted that quick? (+)

Beter gets sticky shit on the doorbell. (+)

Three sins off for Aunt May (-)(-)(-)

How come no other hero is around? Daredevil and the Defenders? Strange? Reed? Nobody else noticed that explosion and is reacting accordingly? (+)

I don’t wanna know where them wet hands have truly been. (+)

Nicholas Cage... (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

The B team don’t get better screentime other than a couple moments each. Benefits the story but it’s still a tad underwhelming in hindsight. (+)

Also, would’ve preferred Peni having a less kawaii design. (+)

You mean Noir had a gun? And doesn’t have it? (+)

“Punch Nazis“ (-)

Also, I’m getting Kung Fu Panda vibes now (-)

Way to put on the pressure (+)

What is this music? (+)

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN (+)

Cars continue to move even when driver should realize something’s happening to their car (+)

RIP Motorcycle (+)

Cool Sp//dr scene (-)

Also Peni wears heelys (-)

Has anybody gotten any sleep? I’m not sinning this one but it feels like nobody’s had the chance to rest since it’s been a couple days.

How was he followed? Didn’t notice a tracker or anything to hint this. Oh wait, the suit.... Goddamn it. (+)

Peni was just standing there for a bit. Get in the robot! (+)

Tombstone gets thrown out only to instantly come back in (+)

Barely anybody in the neighborhood is outside to see the action. Everyone there can’t be that smart. (+)

A bit tasteless, but it’s a bit kinda embarrassing that Prowler was outsmarted by a kid in a Spiderman halloween costume. (+)

Kingpin got out that car faster than a child support dodger (+)

Sins off for Aaron’s final words (-)(-)

You honestly think he’d be okay? (+)

This music (+)

Admittedly, tying him up in this pretty trashed room is not a good look (+)

Beter already named the lightning strike after only seeing it once (+)

“You got the spark“ cliche (+)

Sin off for the pun anyways. (-)

“Leap of Faith“ scene (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Okay, now:

The re purposed quotes overplay the quiet suspense of the scene (+)

Assuming this takes place on the same night, I refuse to believe that suit was able to dry so quickly after all that paint (+)

And that Miles is able to just put on the mask without worrying about the paint fumes (+)

Miles puts on a couple layers over the suit only to take ‘em off later on. (+)

Why’d they take the bus? (+)

Only good joke from Spider-Ham and he didn’t even set it up (+)

Beter loss his beer gut overnight it seems (+)

Also that scene with MJ was pretty flat. Funny, but flat. (+)

“Last second gotcha from the villains“ cliche (+)

Convenient timing (+)

So Doc’s just okay with destroying her machine like that? (+)

Best line from Porker (-)

Welp, Doc Ock is certainly gone. Seriously, we never see her again. It’s tragic. (+)

Smashing isn’t gonna help, Fisk. Phrasing (+)

Miles is somehow able to figure out everyone’s dimensions (+)

Last sin off for Miles and Gwen adorkable moment (-)

You’d think Miles would try to reason with Kingpin so they don’t possibly die? (+)

Fisk is unnaturally agile enough to catch a flying train (+)

Well that plot thread was done in an instant (+)

Kingpin just stands there. Doesn’t finish him off when he genuinely has the chance. (+)

Jefferson survives the explosion unscathed. (+)

“One Last Time“ (+)

Miles just lets his roomie know his identity without question (+)

Drones are the true villains (+)

Couple Sins off for banging credits themes (-)(-)

Also a few for the great credits sequence (-)(-)(-)

Saw some t-posing (+)

Great quote from Stan Lee (-)

Seven sins off for great animation overall (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

A good End Credits scene (-)

“One Last Time“ (+)

SINS TOTAL: 102 - 79 = 23

Statement: Puberty is a cruel mistress.

#into the spider verse #spider man into the spider verse #spider man #mnky shitpost #marvel #long post #cinema sins

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sukkadeservedbetter · 6 years

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Edge Of A Thunderstorm

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Summary: A chance encounter during a thunderstorm leaves you freezing, caffeinated, and starstruck.

Warnings: light swearing, brief mentions of drinking

Word Count: 2K

“Alright, I’m heading home,” You say to your co-workers as you place your laptop into your bag and grab your umbrella.

“You’re walking?” One of them asks in astonishment. “In this weather? Girl, call a cab.” You roll your eyes playfully.

“I can handle a little rain and we’re not that far from my apartment. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” they sing. “Catch you Monday!”

“See you!”

Turns out, you can’t handle this rain. Rain is one thing, but this? This is insane. The wind blows your umbrella so hard that you’re exhausted after just five minutes of walking. As you squint out into the grey, you can’t be sure which direction the rain is coming from. Cars speed past you, splashing you with the pools of water that were collecting below the curb. Thunder rolls above you and soon enough white flashes through the sky. You’re soaked and miserable. Okay, enough! This is ridiculous, you tell yourself as you run under a brown awning for momentary shelter.

You shutter under your coat and try to shake your hands dry enough so you can reach for your phone. Your fingers fumble over the keys. You open the Uber app and wait for a driver. You look up and see a figure through the grey, running for cover much like you had moments before.

“Jesus, this storm is ridiculous,” the man says from underneath multiple jackets and a hoodie as he reached the awning.

“Yeah, tell me about it. You would think people like us would listen to the weather channel,” You pity-laugh as you spoke.

“An inch of rain, my ass.” You laugh at the man’s comment, still looking down at your phone, hoping for anyone to pick up your ride request.

“I’d wager it’s closer to two,” You comment nonchalantly. Your phone buzzes in your frozen hand: Your driver will arrive in 59 minutes. You groan internally, debating whether the walk would really be all that bad. Thunder crashes simultaneously with a bright white flash of lightning. You jump and yelp, earning yourself a chuckle from the man next to you.

“Scared of a little thunder?” He asks.

“That one just caught me off guard,” You reply.

“I’m sorry to trouble you, but could I possibly borrow your phone? Seems mine is dead and I’d really like to call a cab.”

“Oh, um, sure!” You say, handing the stranger your phone. “Let me know the wait time if you get through. Uber said it’s going to take at least an hour.”

“That blows. I’ll let you know.” You absentmindedly tap your foot as the stranger uses your phone. Something about his voice is familiar, but you can’t place it. The accent throws you off. “The lines are busy.”

“Hm?” You ask, realizing you had zoned out.

“The lines are busy. Looks like I’m stuck here.” He says.

“You would think Ubers and Cabs would be better equipped to handle rainy days. I know they’re probably busy but it’s a little annoying.”

“Yeah, and you would think they would employ more people for high volume days,” He says. You nod in agreement. “Oh well, I think I’m going to head inside and grab a cup of coffee while I wait for the storm to settle; do you want to join me?” The man tentatively asks. You look at the building behind you, realizing for the first time that it was a small cafe.

“Oh, sure!” The man holds the door open for you and you step inside to the heat and the faint smell of coffee grinds. You turn around to thank the man for holding the door for you but words don’t reach your mouth. The man had taken his hood off and you finally realize why you recognized his voice. Spider-man was standing in front of you. His real name was escaping you in the shock that Spider-man had just asked you to get coffee with him. He gives you a cheeky smile as he walks past you to the counter.

“I’ll have a medium coffee and…” He pauses as he looks back at you. You’re still standing by the door, mouth slightly ajar at your realization. “Whatever she’s having.”

“What? You don’t have to do that!” You stutter out.

“Hey, it’s the last I can do. You let me borrow your phone.” You know that those two didn’t quite match up, but you let it slide because it had been a while since a cute boy offered to buy you a coffee and how often do people like you get to hang out with a superhero? You walk up next to him and read the menu.

“A medium vanilla latte, please,” You tell the barista. You and Spider-man walk to a small, mosaic table in the center of the cafe. The soft yellow glow of the overhead lights makes the room feel warmer than it actually is. You feel bad calling the man in front of you Spider-man in your head, but you can’t, for the life of you, remember his real name. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Oh,” He responds, slightly taken back by the question, like he expected you to already know. His eyes light up. “It’s uh, Tom.” You make a split-second decision to not make a big deal of his fame, a decision that you thanked yourself for making later.

“Nice to meet you, Uh-Tom. I’m (Y/N).” You throw in a cheeky smile as you bring your vanilla latte to your thawing lips. Tom laughs at your bad joke.

“So, where were you headed when the storm hit?” Tom asked.

“Home. I live about a mile and a half away. What about you?”

“My mate Harrison’s house. We were supposed to grab drinks. That’s obviously not gonna happen.”

“I don’t think binge drinking and massive storms really go together,” You muse.

“You obviously don’t hang out with the right kind of people.”

“Oh? And what do the ‘right kind of people’ do when they blackout and can’t figure out how to get home at the end of the night?” You ask.

“They wake up in a dumpster the next morning with one hell of a story to tell.” Tom shoots you a grin and you snort.

“Oh my, God. I’m so sorry.” You bring your hand over your mouth as if that would stop the noise that had already come out. Your face burns red hot and you sink lower into your chair. Tom bursts out laughing, tears nearly spilling from his eyes. “Tom! Stop laughing!” You whine.

“Aw, don’t get embarrassed. That was adorable.”

“That was horrendous,” You disagree. “So, what do you do?” You ask, even though you know the answer, hoping to change the subject.

“I’m an actor,” Tom smiles.

“What kind of an actor?” You ask. “Like a ‘starving artist’ actor? A ‘I have to bus tables in between plays’ actor? Or a ‘I’m the next Brad Pitt’ actor?” You were loving watching Tom laughing at your comments. It’s nice to know someone thinks I’m funny, you think to yourself.

“Hm,” Tom thinks. “Somewhere in between starving artist and Brad Pitt.”

“Been in anything I might have seen?” You ask. You’re teasing Tom and he has no idea. Where did all the confidence come from? Who am I? You ask yourself.

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Your opinion on superheros,” Tom says. He doesn’t meet your eyes.

“Tobey Maguire was better,” You deadpan. Tom’s head snaps up.

“You knew?!” Tom nearly yells, but he’s smiling wide.

“Of course I knew, Dude! Marvel’s marketing isn’t exactly subtle; your face was plastered everywhere earlier this year.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Tom asks with a laugh.

“Didn’t seem important until now.” You shrug. “Besides, I liked watching you try to conceal your real identity. It was very Peter Parker of you.” Tom laughs again.

“So, you’re a fan?”

“Kind of! I mean, I like the movies but I’m not, like, writing smutty Loki fan fiction in my free time, you know?”

“Gotcha. That Loki fanfic gets…” Tom trails off.

“Fucking wild,” You finish his thought for him.

“Exactly. Do you, uh, do you really think Tobey is better?”

“What will you do if I say yes?”

“Cry,” Tom jokes. “Sue, maybe.”

“I can’t afford to be sued by you, and I’d feel pretty bad if I made you cry, so let’s just say Andrew was the best and call it a night.” You raise your eyebrows at Tom.

“Oh, fuck off!” Tom quips. The two of you continue to talk well into the nigh. You blow through an array of topics and Tom tells you stories that have you laughing so hard you cry. You don’t even realize how much time has past until the barista walks up to your table.

“Hey,” She rudely interrupts you telling Tom about the most embarrassing date you had ever been on. “We’re closing up.” You and Tom exchange a glance of terror and confusion. Have you really been here for four hours? You look towards the window, expecting to see grey. Instead you only see black with blurry bright lights peeping through the window.

“Have we?” You ask.

“There’s no way…” Tom responds. You both stare at each other for a moment before you both bust out into laughter. Tom grabs your empty cup and stands up, walking to the trash. As you stand, a moment of sadness hit you. The last fours hours with Tom have been the most entertaining and carefree hours you have had in years, but Tom is a celebrity. Tom is Spider-Man for God’s sake. What would he want with you?

“So I had-” “Can I get your-” You and Tom speak simultaneously.

“Sorry you go,” Tom says.

“No, really, you go!” You encourage.

“Um, okay. Can I get your number?” Tom ask/.

“Seriously?” You squeak out.

“Are you seriously questioning it? Yes, seriously. I’d like to take you out sometime when we’re both not sopping wet and exhausted… if that’s okay.”

“Y-yeah! Of course! Here put your number in my phone and text yourself!” You hand your phone to Tom with a smile plastered across your face that you can’t quit. You stare at Tom as he types away on your phone. For the first time, you recognized how truly beautiful he is. His sharp jawline blended down into soft skin and broad shoulders. A curl of his brown hair cascaded down over his eye and his fingers were-

“(Y/N)?” Tom’s smooth voice interrupts your thoughts. “You’re drooling, love.” You blush like mad.

“S-sorry.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over seeing how easy you get embarrassed,” Tom says. Before you can say anything, Tom leans in and leaves a barely-there kiss on your lips. “See you soon, Darlin’.” Tom smiles and walks out into the rain without another word. You stand under the awning, stunned by the interaction you had just had.

You hop out into the rain like a little kid during the first storm after a long summer. Though it isn’t as stormy as it was before, the rain still pelts against your skin and seeps into your shoes and socks. The wind pushes you up the sidewalk. You knew you’d have a hefty Uber bill waiting for you for missing your ride, but you couldn’t be bothered; You had a date with Spider-man.

A/N: This is the first “fan fic” type thing I’ve written in, like, 3 years so let me know what you think!! I plan on writing a lot more for this blog so feedback is appreciated :)

#tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland scenario #marvel #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #tom holland fluff #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #spiderman fic #spiderman fanfiction #harrison osterfield

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banjodanger · 4 years

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine(2009)

So, when I was doing my pre-movie warm up post to It That Shall Not Be Named, I said that I couldn’t remember which X-men movie I had watched the least. Now that I’m looking back, it’s definitely this one. It’s one of the only X-men movies I’ve never owned. And I tried. Most of these movie viewings are courtesy of a X-Men and the Wolverine Blu-Ray collection that I picked up at a local record shop. This is movie is supposed to be in it. It isn’t, whoever owned it previously replaced it with a copy of Days of Future Past. Net gain obviously, but X-Men Origins is an unloved movie. According to Rotten Tomatoes, this was the lowest reviewed movie until Dark Phoenix, a ten-year gap. I’d be willing to wager money that more people have seen the Deadpool 2 credits scene than have seen this movie.

If I was to guess, and I am, this movie’s biggest flaw is a serious inability to read the room. three years ago, when Ratner took a dump on screen and charged people money to see it, X-Men was one of the only games in town. The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies were really the only competition. And after Spider-Man 3 sloughed off fans of the series like so many parasites in a flea bath, X-Men was posed to make a comeback. In case you weren’t there, Ratner’s Turd wasn’t well-received, but Spider-Man 3 was detested. No one tried to defend it. X-Men Origins was poised to bring the X-men back to the spotlight.

Then 2008 happened.

First was Iron Man. It didn’t take itself too seriously, but it wasn’t dumb either. There were cool Marvel easter eggs but it also stood on it’s own. And that post-credits scene was wild. Smauel L. Jackson as Nick Fury promising us the Avengers? I know this may be kinda crazy for some, but in 2008 Iron Man was not a household name and Robert Downey Jr was more known for tabloids than acting around this time.

Then just two months later, The Dark Knight hit. While Iron Man was light and breezy, The Dark Knight was A Serious Film. And it delivered. By god did it deliver, this movie was what everyone was talking about. No one will admit it now, but when Heath Ledger was cast as Joker people were apoplectic. They were predicting this movie was doomed, and they could not have been more wrong. He owns every single scene he is in. Jack Nicholson’s joker had been iconic for twenty years and he was forgotten in an instant. Do you want to know why DC’s movie universe has had such trouble getting off the ground? Because they’ve been trying to capture what this movie did ever since 2012. This movie was a goddamn EVENT, it was what every single person was talking about, myself included.

What I’m trying to illustrate is that in one year the entire idea of what we expected out of our superhero movies changed. Where X-Men and Spider-Man had shown us that these stories could be taken seriously, Iron Man and Dark Knight showed us that we could get whole universes and Oscar-level movies.

And if Origins has one fatal flaw, it did not read the room on that one.

Wolverine is probably at his most one-dimensional here. A gruff loner pining after one woman, a chip on his shoulder and a take no bullshit attitude. It’s like they read the wikipedia article on him and decided that was enough character research for the day. And his name is in the title, other characters come and go in this movie with almost no concern for them. I don’t remember Silverfox at all, Blob is basically a cameo, and I know the Deadpool spin-offs have harped on this point but let’s just say for the record that someone had no idea why this character was popular. I’ll probably come back to him when I cover the Deadpool flicks because, trashed though he is in this film, he ended up getting the last laugh and they hit the right mark casting Ryan Reynolds. Sometimes you’ve got to fail to succeed and that’s what you see here.

But a popular character that never got a second chance despite numerous attempts was Gambit. I’ll admit at the start, I’m a bit biased here, he’s one of my favorite characters. The Nineties cartoon was my introduction to these characters, and Gambit was the coolest as far as we were concerned. This cartoon was the start of my love of Beast, too, but I remember Gambit being our definition of cool. And to give credit where it’s due, I don’t think this movie does a terrible job with him. I still remember his introduction.

Wolverine: Are you Gambit?

Remy: Do I owe you money?

I mean, that’s his character nailed down pretty damn well. Roguish, charming, a little sleazy but good natured. Taylor Kitsch wasn’t bad in this role, what little of it there was. In fact, this movie has been part of my argument that he’s just a very unlucky actor. People had been clamoring for Gambit since the first X-Men movie, and he signs a three picture deal. He never plays the role again. John Carter was a big budget space epic with a good cast, and it is one of the biggest flops of all time. Unfairly in my opinion. Then he signs on to the second season of a hugely popular HBO show. Unfortunately, it was the second season of True Detective and it almost ended the series. I’m not saying the guy needs sympathy, he’s worked steadily and shows like Friday Night Lights and Waco have been well-received, but those are some pretty wild missteps.

Of course, Liev Schrieber made a pretty excellent Sabretooth, although his competition was a b-list wrestler who had a non-speaking role. Which is why I don’t entirely like it. Liev Schreier’s Sabretooth is a completely different character. There is literally nothing to suggest this is the same guy Wolverine fights on top of the Statue of Liberty. I’m aware it’s a strange complaint that the character is better and has more depth, but it stands out. Still, if there’s anything I remember that really disappoints me about this movie, it’s that there are some things it got right and have been relegated to the dustbin of cinema history.

Some other thoughts. I don’t remember that Black Eyed Peas singer being terrible, and I wanted to hate him because I absolutely hate his music. Cyclops was introduced because...I don’t know why. I couldn’t tell you. If I hadn’t looked at the cast list I wouldn’t have even remembered. There were two different post-credits scenes and I’m not sure we needed either one. One is fake-Deadpool’s arm crawling towards his head, and the other is Wolverine drinking at a bar, saying he’s drinking to remember. By 2009 post-credits scenes were growing in popularity pretty fast, thanks in no small part to Iron Man. But while Nick Fury’s scene hinted at better things to come, these two just felt like deleted scenes tacked on because it was becoming the new thing to do.

Also, something new, basic facts about how the movie did:

Budget:$150 million

First Weekend Gross: $85 million

Final Gross: $179 Million(USA), $373 million(Worldwide)

Notes will be up soon!

#movies

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elenatria · 6 years

Note

Idk why I don't like thor treating loki like trash. Unless it's a kink of loki's then who am I to kinkshame a god. But thor being unkind to loki and all that name calling is a put off for me. Like treating loki like he's not good enough to love. I like it better when they bicker. Or have consensual hardcore hate sex or thor reverently kisses loki from the tip of his nose to the tip of his toes. What say?

Hi, could you be more specific? Which name calling? You mean in “Ragnarok”, or in people’s fics/posts/headcanons? If you mean mine or other people’s posts, fics and headcanons please anon ask me again about it with details and totally ignore this post. I’ll put it under a cut because it might be off topic, it’s about Thor and Loki’s behaviour in the films.

As for unkind, that’s a looooooong discussion. If you’re interested in hearing Loki’s part in Thor’s behaviour and his responsibilities I can write an essay lol.

If you think Loki is 100% guiltless maybe this is not the post for you, so please don’t read on. You’ve been warned! (that goes to everyone who’s not into that kind of of stuff.)

First of all, I hate to have to compare the two and try to find out “who started it”, “whose fault is it”, or just say “but the other one is being mean too”. Thor is supposedly “the older brother” and “the hero” and for some reason we all expect him to tolerate Loki’s weaknesses (and Loki does have some). Because Thor is “the nice guy”.

Well he isn’t. Not anymore anyway.

Unfortunately that’s how it goes with Thor and Loki, it’s a “which came first the chicken or the egg” thing and it’s endless. Thor was an immature jerk in the first “Thor” so… for some people it was a “good thing that Loki prevented him from becoming king so early”.

Well that wasn’t Loki’s intention, was it? To “make Thor a better ruler”. It was an accident. Loki’s intention was to ruin his brother’s big day because he was jealous all along. What did Thor do to him to cause this jealousy? Well he was being Thor, the favoured son, and Loki was being Loki even BEFORE he knew he was adapted. There’s always rivalry between siblings so there goes the first argument. I’m happy knowing Loki is a trickster by nature and they’re both jerks and that’s that. Besides Loki said it himself, he didn’t want the throne, he wanted to be treated as an equal by their father. Was that Thor’s fault? Dunno. It sure had some grave repercussions on Thor: he lost his brother, literally and metaphorically.

Then we have New York. Some say it was Thanos’ and the Chitauri’s fault, Loki’s torture and the brainwashing. So Loki’s beautiful full-tilt diva act in Stuttgart was none of his doing? All that was just Thanos’ puppeteering? Loki had no involvement in it? How about his desire to be a god, a ruler, to be accepted, to conquer a world? Remember he doesn’t take for granted he’ll have a kingdom to rule (like Thor has Asgard) so he chooses Earth. His allies/tormentors helped him made that choice, but he still had a part in it.

Now see it from a New Yorker’s point of view. I imagine Marvel meant to show the whole New York battle as a kind of comfort for the New York people suffering 9/11. When it happened in 2001 no “New York” song would play on the radio and the Twin Towers were edited out of movies like Tobey Maguire’s “Spiderman”. It was a wound and it was massive and took ages to heal. Fast forward to 2012, 11 years after the attack on the Twin Towers and the wounds of the U.S. citizens were still fresh. So I can only imagine kids who weren’t around to witness 9/11 but heard it from their parents, or even the U.S. citizens themselves, felt some kind of gratification (if only a Hollywood-induced one) that… somewhere, somehow, in some parallel universe the war criminals who attacked their beautiful city, their home, got some kind of retribution: a nice beating from the Hulk, a muzzle and a golden cell in Asgard.

Imagine all those people, all those New Yorkers, represented by one person alone: Jane Foster. Now imagine the man who loves her, Thor, and how he felt about it. So now you understand Jane’s slapping. “That was for New York”? Better “That was for the Twin Towers, bitch.” I’m sure that’s how many people felt although I dislike Jane greatly and hated her slapping Loki because it was bad taste, it looked SO bad, so tacky, so… girly. A stupid butthurt bitchslap.

So when Thor goes to Loki’s cell and “doesn’t let Loki mourn their mother” it’s because he’s still pissed, and he thinks he’s doing the right thing, having his brother locked up. I didn’t like Thor telling Loki “yes I need your help but you’ll go back to your cell after that” but whatever. Thor is cruel sometimes, he’s not perfect.

As for “Ragnarok”, Thor has come to a point where he’s had enough of Loki’s bullshit. Loki has lied to him several times (sometimes for no apparent reason), he has mocked his feelings (”Did you mourn?”) and refuses to remember the past being all fun and games. Sure Thor loved spending that time with his brother but that’s not Loki’s past, that’s not how he remembers it. After doing Thor’s bidding and following his brother in any silly adventure he chose, Loki decided to leave his own mark in the world. It just wasn’t exactly the right path. He destroyed a whole city in the process.

Then of course he faked his own death and let Thor mourn him once more. He banished their father because yeah, he’s Loki, he’s a trickster. And as a ruler he “directed most of his energies into narcissistic self-glorification and not so much time on good governance” (Tom’s words at the SDCC panel).

Now let’s go to Thor’s unkindness and name calling in “Ragnarok”. Thor calling out Loki on his past deeds in that cell was long overdue imho. Thor is done crying for him, putting up with his whims, forgiving him, letting him off the hook. Because every time Thor did that Loki tricked or betrayed him. I cannot blame Loki for faking his death in “The Dark World”, after all this was the only way to escape Thor and that cell. But the rest is all on him I’m afraid. What do I blame? What Loki said, lack of communication between the brothers.

So far the only name-calling I’ve noticed from Thor’s part is him trying to lie about Bruce turning into the Hulk and saying to Valkyrie “There’s no beast, (Loki) is just being stupid”.

Again, I hope this wasn’t off topic. Feel free to ask me again with details!

#loki #thor #thorki #thunderfrost #new york #9/11 #thor ragnarok #the dark world #avengers #thanos #chitauri

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stretchemersonarchive · 6 years

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How to Win at Losing

By Dylan McCaffery

If there’s one skill I’ve acquired over the years, it’s letting my dreams die. In many cases leaving my dreams behind was for the best. When I was 6, I dreamed of being Spiderman. In the beginning of the original Spiderman movie, Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker takes a running start and jumps from rooftop to rooftop in his hometown of Queens. If I was still holding onto my dream of being Spiderman, if I followed in Peter Parker’s footsteps, I would be lying dead in an alleyway that I tried jumping over.

In 2007, I watched my favorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, win a World Series. Everyone in my hometown was a Yankees fan, so elementary school was a battle every day. On October 29th, 2007 I came to school wearing Red Sox shoes, Red Sox socks, Red Sox shorts, a Red Sox shirt under a Red Sox Jersey, my lucky Red Sox hat, and even a pair of Red Sox boxers. Everyone who talked trash to me picked on me, and wouldn’t let me sit at the “Yankees fan only” lunch table, had to watch me boast in the glory of my teams World Series Championship. My dream from that day on was to play for the Red Sox and win championships for kids just like me.

My freshman year of high school I showed up to baseball tryouts finally ready to take on the higher level of competition I knew I was capable of playing with. My whole life my parents (understandably) refused to pay $2000+ per season of travel baseball, so I was stuck playing town baseball before high school. It was only a few minutes before I realized I did not need the cleats I brought, for the tryout was being held in the auxiliary gym. We hit tennis balls instead of baseballs, we each got 5 swings for our at bat, and we each fielded three ground balls (again using tennis balls). It was only a few hours before I realized I should not have even bothered going to the tryout. The following day the coach, who happened to also be our towns travel baseball coach, emailed everyone the roster, confirming what I already knew. A surprise to no one, the lineup was made exclusively of the kids who shelled out $2,000 per season to play travel baseball. The tryout was a sham, and my dream of playing for the Red Sox was dead.

When I was in elementary school, for some foolish reason, I chose to be a Dolphins fan instead of a Patriots fan. I turned down the obvious choice of supporting another Boston team who has won five (soon to be six) championships in my lifetime, and I chose to support a team that hasn’t been relevant since before I was born. My dream was to make them relevant again. Every Sunday I sat through a three-hour public execution of my favorite football team, and my dream became to play for them and bring them their first championship in 50 years.

Six years later I found myself playing for my high school football team. I pictured myself at QB, but my coach saw me as more of a backup offensive lineman. I put my head down and worked hard despite hating every second of that season. About eight games into the year our coach had enough of us losing and decided it was time to make some changes. He fired our team captains and appointed me captain to punish everyone else. In my time as captain of the Trumbull High Football team, we won 1 game, in which I played 5 snaps, and had 0 friends. I quit the team after that season. Now I get to watch the Dolphins lose forever.

When I got to middle school I was told I needed to start setting some realistic career goals. I thought I was being realistic when I set out to be a lawyer. I joined my middle school debate team and enjoyed it thoroughly. I won the only actual debate I ever took part in. I never actually “quit” the debate team, but I never went back. I learned about how much money and effort it would take for me to get a law degree, and how demanding the actual job was. I didn’t think I was up for it.

Fast forward six years to my senior year of high school. I applied and was accepted to the Trumbull High School We The People team, a constitutional and political debate team that hadn't lost a state championship in seven years. My team continued that trend when we won the 2017 state championship. My specific unit of four members was actually awarded the best unit of the state of Connecticut. We competed for a national championship in Washington D.C. and came in 13th out of all the 50 states. This all happened after I had been accepted to Emerson College, and a potential law degree was completely out of the question. My coach thought I would have made an excellent lawyer. I did too.

Going into sophomore year I chose to take a video production class for one of my electives. I absolutely loved it. Directing movies, writing scripts, and even editing did not feel like work to me at all. It became my dream at that moment to become a filmmaker. The next year I signed up for the advanced video production class where we would be putting more work into our filmmaking, and I could get some material to put on a college resume. The class never ran.

I continued to pursue my dream outside of the video production class. For every project we needed to make a video I took it upon myself to make my group’s video 10x better than everyone else’s and insisted on doing all of the directing and editing myself. I only searched for colleges where I could get a film degree. Every college I toured was a film school. I had a plan set up for the next 10 years of my life that ended with me holding an Oscar.

When it came time to submit my online application for Emerson College, my mouse hovered over the VMA major. Emerson was the perfect school for me. The film program was perfect for me. I scrolled down the page, I clicked “Sports Communications”, and I hit submit. I had little to no chance of becoming a filmmaker. The only script I had ever tried to write had been on page five for three months. I hadn’t produced nearly enough film content to put on an actual resume. I couldn’t ask my parents to invest that much money so that I could end up jobless in 10 years. Besides, I’ve watched the Academy Awards my whole life, and even I (a straight white guy) am tired of straight white guys winning Oscars.

When I arrived at college I had but one dream left. My final remaining dream was to do stand up comedy. I knew Emerson would provide me a with a good opportunity to do that, and I wasted no time getting started. The second week of classes I signed up for an open mic. I showed up that night proud of myself for actually following through with it.

I hear my name called and immediately see people starting to leave. I understand. The last guy to perform at this open mic absolutely bombed and even insulted the audience for not liking his jokes. And who am I? What have I done to get them to spend their time listening to me talk? Regardless I go up to the stage with as much fake confidence as I can muster. I have my act memorized backwards and forwards. I tell my first joke and I hear a surprising amount of laughter. There are lights in my eyes, but I can tell from the volume that the crowd was still mostly full. I tell joke after joke, gaining momentum with each punchline. By the time I’m finished the crowd is laughing at every line. And when I walk off stage I hear cheers and whistles. A dream I’ve had my entire life, something I always questioned whether I’d be good at, I’d finally done. This is one of my proudest moments.

It has been 4 months since that open mic. Instead of being my triumphant launch into the world of stand up comedy, it was my unceremonious conclusion. Every time one of my dreams fell through, instead of giving in to crushing defeat, I told myself that one of my other dreams would work out. I kept myself from getting too hurt over failing with the idea that I could succeed elsewhere. Tomorrow I could wake up and memorize another page of stand up material that I already have written, and be ready for the next open mic. But I won’t. I think I can stave off that feeling of failure by deciding not to try. I am 1 for 1 performing stand up and I can keep it that way. I can always tell myself that I had a shot, and I could have been successful, but it was my choice to walk away.

The most absurd thing about all of this is that I’m happy. Truly, genuinely happy. Some days I find myself looking inward trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. How can I be so content with giving up on my dreams and my childhood? I have an opportunity to follow one of my dreams and pursue stand up comedy, why am I just sitting here doing nothing? My younger self failed or gave up because of circumstance, now that I have a real shot, don’t I owe it to my younger self to go for it? Isn’t being a quitter worse than being a failure?

I never find answers to those questions by looking inward. Instead, I have to look at my surroundings. I am a 19-year-old college freshman. I am living away from my parents for the first time. My dorm is in the middle of my favorite city in the world. I am four months into my first meaningful relationship and dare I say, she is the girl of my dreams. It would be selfish of me not to be happy with my current situation. I’m not Spiderman, and I never will be. Nothing is wrong with me for being okay with that. I spent my whole childhood dreaming of what I might do with my life, but now I am finally living it. I am content to finally stop dreaming. I am excited to get to wake up and live.

#identity #memoir #vol3

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