#and like 9-11 are also autistic coded but i think it comes out a lot more with 12
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character ask game: seven of nine and b'elenna torres
from this ask game
thanks for asking! since i'm procrastinating anyways i'm just gonna go through all the questions and put a cut because uh. this will be long :)
Seven of Nine:
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
I'm always obsessed with characters struggling with humanity/personhood and Seven is the character to me that best exemplifies that struggle in addition to having so many complex narratives about trauma and guilt that are surprisingly well explored despite Voyager's tendency to avoid any serialized elements. plus Jeri Ryan's acting really sells it.
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
her autistic swag. no but actually her bluntness and willingness to challenge others (particularly Janeway) is really refreshing and adds some great conflict to Voyager.
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
going to cop out and say the costuming lmao. it bothers me so fucking much and in my head Seven's been wearing science blues on Voyager since s4.
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
i think Seven in any Doctor Who media would be really fascinating maybe specifically paired with the Eighth or Ninth Doctor? i think a lot of her problems around guilt and inhumanity are thoroughly explored in Doctor Who but she would also challenge the Doctor well when it comes to violence and whether the ends justify the means.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
Machine by Regina Spektor
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
a fear of intimacy and insecurity about letting people around you know the real me... oh dear. on a more uplifting side, all of Seven's interactions with Tuvok really remind me of me and my dad. autism for the win.
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
idk how widespread it is but i love thinking of Seven as a physically disabled character and her post-Voyager having to navigate medical systems that are openly hostile (if not downright dangerous) and her eventually finding that it's easier to be in pain and patch injuries together by herself than trusting others.
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
hmmm i don't think this is true on tumblr rn but i've read some older fic and posts that just comes off as weirdly infantilizing just because she isn't great with social interactions. (it's also just a larger problem of infantilizing neurodivergent coded characters).
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
tbh yeah? i think Seven might get annoyed at my tendency to leave clutter around and i might get annoyed at her tendency to mess around with things without telling people but i think we could pretty easily agree on boundaries and stick to them.
10. Could you be best friends with this character?
i would love to try but realistically i think both of us are too wary of social situations to actually be close friends.
11. Would you date this character?
if Seven asked me on a date then i would say yes but also i'm arospec and Seven has way too many relationship issues going on so that would not last.
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
Seven cut off all contact with Voyager's crew after Icheb died because of her guilt over his death except for Naomi who she sent a message to on every birthday.
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
gonna be honest the last thing i associate with Seven are emojis so... none?
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
maybe a bit predictable but i would love a steampunk redesign of Seven.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
Seven/Raffi!! they have a great combination of being actually cute and having tons of unresolved conflict and some parallels (i.e. Seven accidentally causing her sort-of-son's death because she tried to be in an intimate relationship vs Raffi pushing her son away because she was too focused on her career and Doing the Right Thing). i really wish their relationship was a bigger part of Picard (particularly s3) and we didn't keep having them break-up offscreen and then ambiguously get back together like their relationship felt like such an afterthought and i realllllly hope we get some show or movie or even a book where Seven and Raffi get to be lead characters together.
16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?
Seven/Shaw is one of my few hated ships. if you like it then sure whatever i don't really care but i'm incredibly uninterested in shipping characters where one repeatedly deadnames the other and is just generally rude and dismissive. i actually really like their canon dynamic, i think Shaw is a great semi-antagonist for Seven with good narrative purpose and i dig the begrudging respect he eventually has for her but I Do Not ship it.
17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?
Seven/B'Elanna. it's not something i really picked up on watching voyager and i'm not super interested in it but i definitely see how it could work and be a good dynamic! i'm not a b7 shipper but i support their beliefs.
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
admire is a strong word (and tbh i don't think i admire any of Seven's relationships, she's an absolute mess on that front) but i'm fascinated by Janeway and Seven's relationship. it was obviously written to be a mentor & student dynamic but so much of it is fucked up in a really compelling way (with some strong sapphic vibes going on) with Janeway essentially forcing Seven to be human and presuming to know who Seven should be and then acting surprised when Seven isn't her perfect protege (even echoing the control the Borg Queen has over the Collective. sorry i just watched Dark Frontier the other day so that's fresh in my mind). i would die to see them have a scene in Picard era because there's just so much to get into.
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
Seven & the EMH. in the Voyager of version that exists in my head, they have a good dynamic and friendship and i generally politely ignore some of the later canon stuff but yeah... not a fan of the Doctor's crush on her that just ends up falling into a very objectifying "older man is in love with his young female student" dynamic in seasons 6 and 7.
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
i'm forever bitter than Seven and Hugh didn't have A SINGLE SCENE together. especially because the actors are actual friends! injustice! Seven and Hugh would be so cool together as they've shared so many of the same experiences but came out of them as very different people – Hugh choosing to be kind in the face of hatred and help the xBs vs Seven running away from the problem so she doesn't have to face her past. but yeah. Hugh is ideal best friend material.
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
hm. i've mostly written (incomplete) stuff for Picard-era Seven and i really like to hone in on smaller movements and specify that they're very purposeful and planned because Seven has spent so long practicing "looking" and behaving human enough as a survival tactic (same thing with the way she speaks) and i love having her movements and speech pattern fall back to her earlier self when she's stressed or focused on something else.
something i don't like is that i have a hard time capturing her internal monologue and the way she views the world, particularly with Voyager-era Seven) as it always ends up coming out either too robotic or too human.
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to the character? Something you don't like?
hmmm i really like fics that explore some of the darker body horror type nature of the xBs (and particularly Seven) and i tend to get annoyed with stories (including canon ones) that erase the fact that part of her is still Borg.
23. Favorite picture of this character?
i do love the screencap that's my current icon (from The Haunting of Deck 12) but s1 Picard Seven is my favorite look of hers and particularly this shot is just. very good.
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
oh this is an incredibly obscure pull but Compassion from the Eighth Doctor Adventure books who is a clone that's been recycled so many times that she's lost any resemblance to the person she was based on and has to struggle with not being a real person in a way that reminds me a lot of Seven.
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
awhile before i started watching Voyager i had a friend who kept telling me how much i would like Seven (they guessed correctly) and from them i knew a) she was queer b) she was a badass c) she struggled with the idea of humanity which... again. is exactly my type of character and my impression hasn't majorly changed other than realizing that she is a much more nuanced and complex character than i originally thought.
B'Elanna Torres:
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
i love B'Elanna! she's just a good character who has so much internal strife but tries to be strong and not let anyone know that she's in pain which is tragic but i am a tragedy enjoyer first and foremost.
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
i think the sadness she has, especially when she's alone and there's no one to argue with, is so compelling and Roxann Dawson plays her really well. i also love that she's shown as very competent and and intelligent but didn't graduate from the Academy and doesn't have a particular love of Starfleet unlike 95% of other Star Trek characters.
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
because of the all (or at least mostly) white writers i think her character often leans into some unfortunate "fiery/angry Latina" stereotypes that's not recognized enough because it's always under the guise of "oh well it's because she's Klingon" but like. assigning undesirable personality traits to races, even if fictional, is. still racist.
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
I'm not huge into Star Wars but I think B'Elanna would thrive joining the rebels in the original trilogy.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
it might be the fact that i'm currently listening to this song but Mama by My Chemical Romance.
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
i think we both have a tendency to doubt our ability to do things that we're good at when faced with people who might be more qualified but less talented but i love how quickly B'Elanna does gain confidence in her abilities in s1 and 2 and i hope to follow in her footsteps.
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
i have a lot of respect for the closeted lesbian B'Elanna headcanons i must say.
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
idk if this is a widespread fandom take or not but i always dislike the idea that B'Elanna would remain in Starfleet post-Voyager. like the show itself kind of forgets that the Maquis crew on Voyager still has some pretty big beef with the Federation (for good reason) and i don't think she would ever want to join Starfleet unless they have some systemic changes.
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
i think we would definitely have certain habits that would annoy each other but like with Seven, i feel like if we came up with some boundaries both of us would stick to them and it would work out.
10. Could you be best friends with this character?
we have very different personalities that would clash a bit too much to be best friends but i think we would get along.
11. Would you date this character?
again, probably not more just because i'm aro and not super interested in dating and B'Elanna deserves someone better than me.
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
after returning from the Delta Quadrant, B'Elanna opens an engineering shop where she rehabs old ships (with or without Tom).
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
i think B'Elanna would respond to a lot of messages with just the middle finger🖕
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
B'Elanna would rock 90s grunge fashion so hard.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
hmmm i thought about this for awhile and honestly i just can't really think of a ship that makes sense for her because she deserves much better than the canon characters she interacts with.
16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?
i've seen B'Elanna/Chakotay around a few times and... no. not for me please.
17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?
B'Elanna/Seven (as I said in Seven's section)
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
i generally like B'Elanna & Chakotay's canon relationship (with a few notable exceptions where things get weird) and i think Chakotay is such a good mentor figure for her as someone who shares the same political ideology but is older and wiser and knows better than to act only out of anger.
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
B'Elanna/Tom and it's not that i don't think the characters could work together, there are a few moments from the show and people's fanons or whatnot that have a lot of potential. and there's so much potential inherent in two characters with a lot of issues that they tend to hide with humor or aggression or whatever who are now forced to indefinitely be part of this crew/family. however i hate that all of their interactions are plagued with 90s sexism and always shown from Tom's perspective of how much he struggles being in a relationship and remembering to pay attention to B'Elanna as if that's just. an expected part of being in a relationship rather than a problem that needs to be resolved. and so many episodes focus on their relationship problems and we rarely get to see them being happy so it comes off feeling like they're trapped in an unhappy marriage.
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
B'Elanna and Harry! they have such a good dynamic in s1 with Harry being the embodiment of Starfleet idealism and B'Elanna being so jaded towards Federation idealism and Harry over time developing his own Problems and B'Elanna beginning to resolve her issues. i wish we got more of them together!
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
i haven't written any fic for B'Elanna yet so i'll just skip this one
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to the character? Something you don't like?
tbh i haven't read much B'Elanna fic. i'll get around to it! i've only been a Voyager fan for like 6 months.
23. Favorite picture of this character?
i love her curly hair from the beginning of s6 sooooo much
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
Clara from Doctor Who (specifically in s9). they both have some deep insecurities that they try to cover up with quips and deflection. they're also both very clever but don't necessarily think through their actions and have a tendency to throw themselves into danger.
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
tbh i didn't really have a strong opinion about any of the Voyager characters when i first started the show and kind of expected B'Elanna to fall into the mixed (alien) race stereotype of torn between two worlds and some of the accompanying racist tropes but tbh B'Elanna became a much deeper character than i ever expected both with exploring the tension of her heritage and internalized racism (Barge of the Dead & Lineage come to mind) but also exploring her mental health (Extreme Risk) and how her character reveals some of the issues inherent in the Federation's existence. i just wish that Voyager did more and was willing to create a more complete arc for her that doesn't leave some stuff like her self harming behaviors and grief over the Maquis alone after one episode. i also didn't expect her to be probably the most competent engineer in all of Star Trek but i maintain that she is.
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Autism & Doctor Who
so as a basis like the doctor is autistic; from hand movements and other stims to the way he interacts with others with a really singular focus on what he is interested in.
i’m currently rewatching and trying to get through the clara seasons which have always been my least favourite and i think i have kind of figured it out after watching s8e8 “mummy on the orient express“
this episode in particular really puts the doctor’s autistic traits on full display, it was especially noticeable for me when clara was trying to have the emotional conversation and he kept trying to talk about science etc.
and i have recently been trying to figure out why i dislike clara as a companion so much and i think that this episode really encapsulated that, clara doesn’t really seem to want to be with the doctor a lot of the time, she seems reluctant etc and she really at her core wants him to be a different person, she hates his autistic traits and the fact that he doesn’t behave like she does and wants to change that
even though im only consciously realizing this now i think as an undiagnosed teen w a lot of trauma around masking for other people i picked up on this in my first watch through the show and that is what gave me such a bad taste about clara
#clara oswald#doctor who#twelfth doctor#autism#the doctor is autistic#also like idk if this applies as much to classic who bc i have never seen it#and like 9-11 are also autistic coded but i think it comes out a lot more with 12
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Hello!!! I've been thinking of getting into the star wars books, and as a star wars fan, do you have any recommendations? I think I'd prefer the more recent ones but whatever you recommend I will look into!
OOOOO yes ive read a lot of them! ive read most of the new canon (not legends), but im reading chronologically so i havent finished the new republic era, and i havent even GOTTEN to the comics yet, but these are my recommendations:
1. the two padme books (queens shadow and queens peril) and the ahsoka book are TOP TIER shit. TOP TIER.
2. i love master and apprentice with all my heart. it connects well with Dooku: Jedi Lost, which is a full cast audiobook, which i have mixed feelings about but i LOOOOVE dooku so definitely worth your time.
3. The canon Thrawn books (not the old ones) are really phenomenal. The first two in the trilogy are just TOP tier and like....lord Thrawn/Eli is my life even though they’re too cowards to do it, and the “prequel” books to the Thrawn trilogy have started coming out as well (the Ascendancy books). They’ve adapted these into comics as well I think!
4. The Rogue One prequel Catalyst is phenomenal. Some of the best autistic-coded representation I’ve ever seen (not real representation, but still pretty good) for Galen, and really interesting stuff there. The other Rogue One prequel, Rebel Rising, is also decent, although Jyn is not the most compelling character, and I don’t love some implications about Saw (again, a victim of the original film not being written by a woman, and an overarching Star Wars issue politically with Saw, but a good book).
5. Dark Disciple is a wonderful book and lord I love Ventress and Quinlan Vos, but I don’t blame the author for the ending. No spoilers, and I love Maul dearly, but Dave Filoni’s insistence on bringing Maul back to the expense of Ventress really shows here. This book is based on some of the unfinished stuff that was planned for her storyline when TCW was cancelled for a few years.
6. Lords of the Sith isn’t one of my favorites but it is really really good! Same with Tarkin - hateful fucking character but really decent book, and I think there’s a b-plot involving a Rebels Imperial character
7. Most Wanted, the Solo prequel is actually pretty good. Again, a victim of the movie not having much to go on, especially with Qi’ra, but good writing.
8. Lando’s Luck is PHENOMENAL. People don’t talk about it enough because it’s for slightly younger readers but I love it SO SO SO MUCH. (There’s a second book in this series about Hondo Onaka called Pirate’s Price too!)
9. A New Dawn is absolutely top tier shit. What can I say? Kanera is life.
10. A lot of people will tell you Lost Stars is their favorite. It has some really cool characters, romantic writing and interesting concept, but the political implications of it really rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted better. I have a complex relationship with it.
11. The two Battlefront books are shit tier sorry I hate them sorry to people who like them do NOT bother
12. Leia Princess of Alderaan is really good! Although it insists on confirming Leia is straight for some reason. Holdo is in it! And Bail and Breha! It’s a good one.
13. I haven’t read Guardians of the Whills yet but friends who have say it’s wonderful!
14. Heir to the Jedi is just so fucking bad do NOT read it
15. Doctor Aphra is another full cast audiobook and based on a beloved comics character so I haven’t read it yet but I hear it is good!
16. Hot take, I’m really sorry, but the Alphabet Squadron/Shadow Fall/Victory’s Price trilogy is bad and boring and I hated it and I know some people like it but again, some political issues I have and also very boring
17. The Aftermath books are fucking shit tier. I’m sorry. Chuck Wendig I already hate him for various reasons, but GOD they really highlight the MESS that was the setup for the sequels era (which isn’t all his fault), they’re just blatantly misogynist (and RACIST?) at some points, and the omission of certain characters does NOT make sense. Truly a case of when will this man stop writing women. Also a stupid idea to give the BIGGEST Star Wars question “what happened to the Empire after ROTJ” to like ONE man. That being said, there are some good things in there, some little snippets. Cobb Vanth from Mandalorian is from these books! And there’s other little things.
18. Last Shot is PHENOMENAL. Absolutely god tier Hanlando content. Han as a dad. Hijinks. Good shit. Not enough Han and Lando actually being lovers but u know I ask for too much lol. Also L337 is a lesbian in it.
19. Haven’t read Poe Dameron Free Fall or Resistance Reborn yet but I hear they’re good and there’s a tiny bit of Finnpoe food
20. Bloodline.....whew I do NOT like some choices in here. Good writing, tremendous Hanleia content. Some really heart wrenching shit. But bad political implications and some dumb shit involving Ben Solo that’s just illogical. Worth reading though!
21. There is SO little Finn content it makes my heart hurt but make sure you read Before the Awakening!
22. I haven’t read Phasma, Cobalt Squadron, Black Spire, or Crash of Fate, but I hear they’re really good!
23. Force Collector is really good and apparently it got so close to the actual plot of TROS the LFL Story Group had to tell the author to go in a different direction. I think it’s really cute!
i’ve read most of these from my library using Libby, and most as audiobooks. the Ahsoka and Padme books have their original TCW voice actors and are really good. Some other ones the narration especially from men is bad. It’s up to you!
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I don't really watch Holby but I'm always looking for autistic representation, so if you dont mind me asking why do you headcanon Henrik as autistic??
I mean, “headcanon” implies looking into something that isn’t there in the canon. Henrik being autistic is 100% there, he fits the diagnostic criteria to a T, they just refuse to use the word. But I get your point.
This is going to be LONG and I’m sorry. There’s a lot to cover.
Reason 1: He doesn’t understand social cues.
This is pretty much the entire foundation of his character: that he can handle formal, scripted situations fine but is terrible at personal relationships. He’s admitted it himself.
A non-exhaustive list of examples:
In S13E44, the hospital chairman’s ex-wife Ella tries to flirt with Henrik. It goes right over his head all the way up until Ella literally starts unbuttoning her blouse.
In S15E42, Henrik treats a patient with amnesia. While operating on the patient in theatre, Henrik’s ex-girlfriend Maja says what a tragedy it must be for the patient to not even remember who he is. Henrik responds by saying that, in some ways, it might actually be a good thing and that he’d like such an ‘opportunity for reinvention’. He doesn’t even seem to consider that the patient doesn’t see this the same way as him, or that this might seem insensitive to the young man’s plight - he just assumes that because he’d like the chance to start over, surely this patient must too.
In S18E33, Henrik’s worried about Arthur Digby (who is suffering from terminal cancer)’s wellbeing, so he arranges a meeting between some of the hospital staff to talk about it. When Arthur walks in and asks “Is this about me?”, Henrik starts to bluntly reply “yes” - Sacha has to jump in and save the situation by saying “nope”.
In S20E19, Dominic Copeland admits to Henrik that he’s recently been infected with Hepatitis C. Henrik doesn’t know how to respond at all, and when Dom says “this is usually the part where you bestow me with wisdom”, Henrik says “Is it?” - implying he had no idea what Dom wanted out of the conversation.
In the latest episode, S22E15, he goes to visit his friend Essie who’s having chemotherapy. He brings her a book called ‘Surviving Cancer’ and doesn’t even realise how this may come across as inappropriate or too on the nose until Dom points it out to him.
Reason 2: He has a flat affect.
This one’s obvious. He’s not very expressive, and he tends to speak in a monotone. This tends to lead to other characters assuming he doesn’t have feelings, because he doesn’t show them in the way they’d expect.
Reason 3: He stims a lot.
Self-explanatory. If you pay attention, you can often catch him fidgeting with his hands during his scenes. Here are some gifs of him doing it:
He also tends to hum or sing to himself pretty often, which could be vocal stimming.
Reason 4: He has low empathy.
Mr. Clarke the psychiatrist in S19E03 even comments on this. He’s using it as an insult, admittedly, but the whole point of the episode is basically “Mr. Clarke is an asshole, but an asshole who’s right”.
Henrik struggles to relate to people, and can’t feel their emotions. I refer again to S15E42 for one of the best examples of this:
Maja: But he [the amnesia patient]’s so lost. He’s alone in the world. You must feel... something?
Henrik: Not particularly.
I have a whole post on this scene alone it’s so accurate and perfect. (The phrase “a whole post” is a link you should click, BTW. Unfortunately links don’t display on my blog until you hover over them so I just want to clarify that.)
This is another thing that tends to lead other characters to think Henrik doesn’t care about others. They’re 100% wrong. He cares incredibly deeply about those around him, to the point it hurts, he just can’t empathise with them. The show makes a point of reminding us of this regularly. We love good low empathy rep. ♥
Reason 5: He has sensory issues.
One recurring joke with Henrik is that he really, REALLY hates tomatoes. He’s gone so far as to label them “the devil’s fruit” on multiple occasions. Despite this, he’s fine with eating tomato soup, which implies it’s a texture issue.
He’s very sensitive about touch. I don’t think he’s touch-averse, necessarily, but it’s seemingly a more intense experience for him than for others. He’s bothered by people he doesn’t know well making physical contact with him. (One example: in S15E50, his colleague Antoine Malik hugs him. Henrik just stands there awkwardly, not reciprocating the hug, and asks Malik to stop.)
In S15E04, Henrik is shown going into sensory overload from too much stress and too many people talking at once. I’ll just leave a clip of that here. (Again, that last sentence is a link!)
He also wears the same kind of outfit a lot, which could potentially be another sensory thing. In particular, he’s almost always seen with some kind of layers on. Hell, we saw him in his pyjamas with a dressing gown over them in the middle of July last year.
Reason 6: He’s not good at emotions.
I’ve already been over how he doesn’t understand others’ emotions well, but he’s not really any better with his own. He’s clearly alexithymic, and has admitted as such:
One major storyline in series 13 and 14 is Henrik’s romantic feelings for Sahira Shah, a woman he used to mentor. Except... he doesn’t realise he’s in love with her. A similar storyline happens in series 20 with his old friend John Gaskell, but because the writers of this show are heteronormative cowards, no one actually goes “hey Henrik are you in love with John” only for him to passionately deny it (which happened several times WRT his feelings for Sahira). But if you pay attention to the subtext, there’s clearly a late-realisation-of-love going on there, and the actor seems to approve of it (“[John was someone Henrik had] loved for thirty years”, “[Henrik was] blinded by his affection for John”), so.
In S20E28, we see Henrik trying to fill out a therapy worksheet asking him to describe his emotions. He struggles with it throughout the episode, and keeps trying to write something only to give up and shove the paper back in his pocket.
He has very strong emotions, but prefers to try and shut them down, focusing on facts and logic instead because they’re what he can understand.
Other reasons I won’t go into too deeply because this post is long enough, but I want to mention them:
- Reason 7: He takes things literally often. He doesn’t get other people’s jokes and sarcasm, and they don’t get his.
- Reason 8: He has very strong moral beliefs and he sticks to them.
- Reason 9: He literally had a meltdown once (in S20E13).
- Reason 10: Other characters have compared him to autistic/-coded characters in pop culture, such as Rain Man, and the Vulcans from Star Trek.
- Reason 11: This scene with him and the show’s canonically autistic character Jason, wherein Henrik only fucking goes and likens himself to Jason while contrasting the both of them with [allistic] people as a whole. (There’s another link BTW)
There are probably even more reasons I could think of if I tried, but I’ll stop there. I think this is quite enough proof that Henrik is autistic as it is. 🙂
#Holby City#Henrik Hanssen#autistic Henrik tag#actuallyautistic#if I went to all this effort for this post then dammit it gets to be in the actuallyautistic tag#asks#anons#my meta
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i found a fair few milliseconds im prepared to waste
well, this is certainly something different!!
i was feeling nostalgic and robot-y recently and decided to re-watch 9, a film that has a lot of fond childhood memories for me (and nightmares. lotsa nightmares)
while watching it i remembered my old oc, tick tock, and decided to attempt a re-design/remake
the old: i originally came up with tick tock around the time i was first diagnosed with autism (since around then was when i first watched and was obsessed with 9), because of this the original tock was heavily (accidentally) autistic coded. i got the idea bcs i kept getting woken up in the middle of the night by the clock in the kitchen - even when i was upstairs. one of her (they were originally a girl bcs as a kid every oc i had was a girl) specialities was the ability to hear really well. i also gave her the ability to copy whatever she heard, but she could still talk normally. i dont remember much abt her original design, but im pretty sure the half and half face thing and cloak were always a thing (bcs.. baby scar liked her cloaks). i also think she mightve been like... the soul of the scientist’s daughter or somethin dumb like that. i was 11 give me a break.
so onto the new (bio under the cut):
Name: Tick Tock (nickname, was never named by their creator), Tock (shortened version)
Gender: Nonbinary/Agender (they/them)
Age: Unknown, spent a long time unconscious. Is considered an adult.
Sexuality: Gray-Ace Bisexual
Personality: Tick Tock is quiet and tends to keep their head down. They don’t have the inquisitiveness of many their fellow stitchpunks, instead preferring to remain somewhere safe and away from danger. Tick Tock does not like it when others forcefully engage physical contact with them (such as a hug), but will sometimes return the gesture if it is requested and they give permission. Tick Tock does not like the cold or large open spaces.
Bio: Tick Tock was a stitchpunk created by the Scientist, after 3 and 4 but before 5. The Scientist believed that something was wrong with Tock’s internals that stopped the soul transfer from working, in reality Tick Tock just needed a long time to ‘wake up’ fully. The Scientist took the more durable and rarer pieces from Tock to build five - though he tried to replace what he could, as he felt bad ‘burying’ them in pieces. The Scientist then placed Tick Tock in a box and began working on 5. Over the next few years Tock wakes up and falls asleep in the box. Since they cant move or speak the Scientist isn’t aware they are alive. Every time they wake up, all they hear is the sound of a clock. One night a bomb goes off near the house, causing stuff to fly everywhere and Tock’s box to get knocked over. Tick Tock, after seeing the Scientist asleep and his plans for 9, runs out the house with only the fabric they were wrapped in for protection. Whilst trying to survive in the town, they run into 2, who brings them back to the others. 2 finds out quickly that they can only copy words and sounds, not make them so 2 tries to help them with words as much as he can. They’re nicknames ‘Tick Tock’ by 5, since they tend to make the clock noise when nervous. (you can read a longer/story-er version on my AO3)
Powers/Abilities: Can mimic any sound they hear. Can also mimic voices, though the longer the sentence the more distorted the voice sounds.
Other Facts:
-Tick Tock both physically stims (spinning the bracer around their arms, rocking, playing with their hands/the fabric of their cloak) and vocally stims (their ticking)
-Because a lot of their body was taken apart and slapped back together again, Tock’s stitches tend to come loose
-They’re easily overwhelmed by loud noises
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Yay laptop! *type type type*
So I reblogged this meme a bit ago as a reminder to answer all the questions for Wes when I had time. Technically I’m procrastinating on a writing thing, but I’m stuck on that one, so. ^_^
1) Something this character is truly proud of. -- You know, this one is kind of tricky, because as much as Wes acts like a blowhard, he doesn’t actually brag on his achievements very much. His looks, sure. Other people’s achievements, absolutely. But he projects that “not a badass” image about himself. I think he’s definitely proud of the morale officer stuff, though, especially when he manages to get Wedge or Tycho or Hobbie out of a funk.
2) Who they want to please the most. -- Oh, Wedge, forever. That causes some tension in his friendship with Hobbie every so often, because Wes will always put Wedge first. It’s awkward when your wingman knows he’s your second priority. *hugs them* That’s like, the motivating factor of at least two different unwritten/unpublished stories I’m involved with right now, probably more.
3) Who depends on them. -- More people than think they do. The Rogues, the Wraiths, probably most of the Rebellion back in the day. Wes downplays just how much of the emotional grunt work he does on keeping the rest of these idiots functional, as well as how much of the paperwork load he carries. Wedge and Hobbie both know they depend on him, that’s the people who really matter.
4) What they would do if they had one month to live. -- This is an interesting one, because Wes already lives on the basic principle of “eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die”. If he knew for a fact that he *wasn’t* going to die for a whole month... well, it depends. If he was invulnerable for that month, like absolutely unable to die ahead of time, he’d definitely go full Hamster Princess and like jump off cliffs and things. If it was just “you have a terminal illness”, I don’t think anything much would change, but he would get even more affectionate with his friends and also try to set things up so that they wouldn’t be absolutely lost without him, because he does do so much support work for them. If it was some kind of “I’m a time traveler from the future, you die in thirty days, this is absolutely necessary to preserve the timeline / save your friends from some horrible catastrophe, but we know you didn’t die till then”, and somehow telling him that doesn’t Schrodinger the timeline already (which it would)... um. This sentence got more complicated than I anticipated.
If he knew he was like fated to die in thirty days but not until then, but was not protected by a Hamster Princess curse spell thing, I’m not sure. What there should be is major fiddling with causality to find a timeline where he can save them without dying, but that requires roping people like Wedge and Luke into the process, and he wouldn’t. :-( Stupid idiot doesn’t think he’s worth saving. So he’d keep quiet, try to set things up to help his friends without letting them know that anything was wrong. They’d start to realize something was fishy, because they know him too damn well, and depending how angsty you wanted to get, it could wind up in a stable time loop self-fulfilling prophecy thing where he only has to die to save them because they figured out something was fishy or got in trouble trying to help him or something. The trouble with that time loop is that there’s no kriffing reason for the time-traveler to come back and tell him he’s going to die or has to die, if he did die, if things are working. *headshake* Time travel is hard.
5) A cherished personal belonging. -- Lieutenant Kettch, obviously. Yub yub, Commander.
6) Something they lost, but would love to have back -- Hmm. There’s not really much of anything for this in canon, which means I have to make something up. *ponders* Nothing occurs to me at the moment. That’s a story that somebody could write but it’d have to be the right thing (or the right person/friendship/whatever) and I don’t have one here.
7) This character’s favorite character -- Favorite character in what? GFFA media? Earthside media? Favorite person in their own source canon? I think Wes would really appreciate Jack O’Neill, although I’m not sure how Stargate SG-1 would come across in a galaxy where most planets have high levels of civilization, since it’s portraying a galaxy where most planets are pretty backward and only a few kind of patronizing alien races have anything like GFFA levels of technology. Like it’s a very different worldview. It plays specifically to Earth culture in ways that might make it very strange to a non-Earther.
8) What kind of car they would drive. -- Some kind of classic muscle car or hot-rod, probably. Tycho likes speed, Wes is all about power. “I mean a real tractor beam.”
9) What calms them when they are upset. -- Wes really, really needs to have the rest of the Fab Four around him, which is why Distna is such a renewable resource. ^_^ When he’s alone and trying to handle his own emotional shit, he likes to play brainless datapad games (that’s canon, he was playing one to keep from stressing out while he and Hobbie waited at Iella’s for Wedge and Tycho during Starfighters of Adumar) and snuggle Kettch. I also write him being fairly stimmy overall, liking certain textures and repetitive sounds and fidget toys, but that’s just me, it doesn’t have much actual basis in canon, only his general liking for swishy capes and blastswords and shit like that.
10) How they deal with pain. -- Emotional pain, he sits on it and ignores it forever. ;P Physically, he’s pretty tough, but he doesn’t do the kind of teeth-gritting silent-suffering thing I associate with like grungy alpha male types. He’ll hide that he’s injured if he needs to, if letting the others know would distract from an important or time-sensitive mission, but... like, I’m thinking of a bit in the comics, and comics characterization is always subject to being taken with more than a grain of salt, but the bit where Tycho is setting Wes’s broken leg, and Wes is making Noises and Tycho is being like “c’mon Wes you’re tougher than that”. Like Wes is fundamentally not a quiet guy, and he doesn’t have the macho wiring that makes not showing pain a matter of pride. He’ll scream if he wants to. (This holds true whether he’s injured, having sex, having fun, or just making noise for the hell of it. ^_^ At least one of my planned Kinktober pieces revolves partly around the fact that I always write Wes as being really vocal/noisy in bed.)
11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing. -- The Adumar flatscreen cape, for sure. Wedge may have managed to airlock it on the way home, since it doesn’t show up in other pieces of Legends media, but he likes that cape a lot. It’s so flashy and tacky and amazing. :D
12) How they sleep. -- This one I’ve put a lot of thought into for cuddlefic purposes. His favorite way to sleep is at the bottom of a squadron cuddle pile, being squished under people he loves, like a living weighted blanket. (Which also ties into me writing him sort of autistic/ADHD-coded, but whatevs.) He tends to sprawl all over the place, unless he’s in a bad enough emotional place that he starts going fetal position. Wes is not a person who’s ever internalized any kind of “don’t take up space” message. (Damn, always-a-girl Wes would be an interesting fucking character to write. I’m calling Not It, because that would interact with my brain issues in ways I don’t want right now, but man.)
13) What kind of parent they would be. -- I’m not going to answer this one directly, because parenthood and parenting hits a lot of my buttons in very bad ways. But turning it around to “how are they with kids”, Uncle Wes is definitely Syal and Myri’s favorite when they’re little. They can climb on him like a jungle gym, he tells the best stories, he treats them with this conspiratorial respect that makes them feel like they can conquer the world, he is the best weird uncle altogether. The very saddest thing about the Nonspecific Excuse ‘verse is that Syal and Myri missed out on that. (I have Opinions, possibly. ^_^ Seriously, though. Wedge is a good dad, and Iella is wonderful, but I strongly doubt that Myri especially would have turned out like she did without Wes’s influence.)
14) How they did in school -- This is like twenty percent canon and eighty percent headcanon. We know that Wes is good at math / statistics-type stuff and XO paperwork. He’s a lot smarter than he acts most of the time. In my own head, I actually give him the kind of memory I’ve got, photographic or eidetic or whatever we’re calling it now, except it works on numbers and people’s faces as well as just words -- so, for example, Adumar-era Wes can remember every one of the nurses in the Yavin IV medbay by name, knows which one of them was pregnant but not showing yet (and how the kid is doing now, and probably sends it birthday presents), knows most of their birthdays, doesn’t have a comprehensive knowledge of which ones have died since but knows some of them.
This doesn’t have a lot of support in canon, but it does have a little: Wes gives Wedge that little dossier on Ejector Darpen, and I strongly suspect he could have given the same level of brief background and analysis on any of the other surviving Yellow Aces. (Which is a royal fuckton of responsibility to have, and possibly one reason he’s a little cautious about spreading gossip around, beyond funny stories everyone remembers. Do you know what kind of trouble you can cause if you remember every unflattering thing anyone has ever said about anyone else in your presence? It’s a lot. A lot a lot a lot. I was not a fun friend to have as a teenager.)
So, um, specifically about how he did in school, there are two ways I could go: straight-A student or deliberate slacker. I mean, either way he’s the perpetually goofing-around class clown, I’m just not sure whether he’s also the teacher’s pet / kid who always knows the answers. I think I’d lean toward saying he was, though, because of the little “shill in the audience” bit he does with Wedge that one time -- that has very much the flavor to me of a kid who always made it a goal during the first week of class to get the teacher to go “Not you, I know you know it” and call on someone else, cause that’s me. ^_^
15) What cologne or perfume they would use -- I don’t honestly have enough of a sense of smell to answer this question. Personally I like sandalwood, but that’s Isard’s perfume (well, “leatherwood”), so even though Wes might independently wind up using it, I feel weird going with it. It’s like the Only One Steve rule. ;-) But Wes has a pretty vivid sense of smell -- I noticed when I was going over the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank for something else, the descriptions of both the Ewok food and the cleaning fluid are strongly scent-oriented -- so either he’d wear something strong-smelling that he enjoyed, or something very subtle so it wouldn’t bother him, or just not wear scented stuff if it does bother him.
(God, the sheer levels of detail I get out of these books. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading way too much into these tiny little details, but it’s fun. And way more harmless than overanalyzing the Bible and Catholic religious doctrine in order to figure out The One Right Way To Act, which is what I used to do with these skills. ;S)
16) Their sexuality -- Oh, pan as hell. I personally write him as pansexual, aromantic, usually polyamorous, and pretty solidly cisgender, but that’s me. I’ve seen him written lots of different ways, but he very much appreciates pretty people of all genders, whatever exact orientation one goes with. (I don’t think I’ve ever seen him written gendervariant, but that would definitely be a possibility. Maybe I’ll come up with a story for that at some point, maybe not. And @virusq had a great suggestion for a bi/panromantic asexual Wes who flirts with everybody and is really into cuddling and pillow-talk but not sex, I don’t think anyone’s written that one yet either. *shoves it into the big pile of prompts in the middle of the table that is this fandom*)
( @tigerkat24 part of me keeps wanting to write an ace!Wes ‘verse where he’s basically James, but part of me wants to actually write those stories with James and Mort instead of Wes and Hobbie, and jesus fuck why do I have to have multiple pairings with the same dynamic. Why. :P I still don’t have an actual arc for Mort since I stopped wanting to write his original arc, either.)
(I keep going back and forth on whether to put my Mort/James stories from Rainbowfic onto AO3. Like they’re “original fiction written in a fannish context” for sure, but they’re also kind of scattershot and rather ancient, and... blergh. idk. Writing is hard.)
17) What they’d sing at karaoke -- This is again difficult because GFFA media. Earthside AU Wes, though, I’m definitely thinking the kind of bouncy catchy... do they call it “bubblegum pop”? Songs like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, “All the Single Ladies”, those very girly-coded danceable songs, just belting them out without a hint of irony, dancing and shaking his butt and having a grand old time. (You know Wes has at least acceptable dance moves. ^_^) One of the things I really especially enjoy about Wes is that he doesn’t have the toxic masculinity shit that a lot of flirtatious male characters are coded with. He would definitely be a drag queen in any context where that was an option, you know? It’s nice to have a character I read as cis male but who doesn’t have any gender panic about enjoying the girly shit. There aren’t enough of those.
18) Special talents they have -- Well. There’s the killing people. ;P I mean, that really is the main one. He doesn’t have much in the way of non-military life skills, and he knows it. He mostly doesn’t get super angsty about it, because he mostly doesn’t get super angsty about anything, but... y’know, even when it’s just a sentence or two, I really like those little bits where a writer comments on it, that he’s a soldier and he’s not really... prepared to be anything except a soldier. Peacetime would be so, so hard for him to adjust to, and I don’t quite have a solid story idea for that but I really want somebody to tackle it someday, whether it’s me or somebody else.
19) When they feel safest -- Underneath a cuddle pile of all his friends, definitely. If he knows they’re safe, then he’s safe. You know? They have each other’s backs. He’s not really functional as a single person, he’s part of a unit. It’s not super healthy, but god I miss it :P
20) Household chore they hate the most -- Hmm. See, this one requires figuring out what chores Rebel/NR pilots even do, other than KP duty. (I feel like having Wes constantly on KP is kind of cliched; the only person we actually see get KP in the books is Face. So I like to try and come up with other shit. But there’s not a lot of chores that pilots actually do. They have laundry droids and shit for most of it.)
Earthside modern AU, though... hmm. The thing is, I’ve got chores I love and hate, but those are formed by my specific childhood history, which is deeply complicated. Wes specifically... I’m not sure we have enough data. Does he enjoy cooking? Does he have sensory issues? Does he find laundry boring? (I always liked laundry because the laundry room was in the basement away from all the yelling. Wes probably prefers chores that can be done in the middle of a bunch of people, because they’re not yelling at him. ;P Any discussion of household chores really runs into my issues, I guess.)
He probably doesn’t enjoy mopping or scrubbing things down, because we know he dislikes the scent of space Lysol, it’s too strong and sharp. See, if I talk long enough I can always come up with something I can tie back to canon. ^_^
21) Their fondest childhood memory -- Hmm. That’s a difficult one. We really have no data on Wes’s childhood, other than that Taanab is an agri-world and therefore he’s probably by some definition a farmboy. The rest is all speculation. Personally, when I need him to have a family, I borrow the one @irenkaferalkitty invented, because they’re adorable and ridiculous and I love them. So, basic US-Midwest-ish farming setting, working-class family, six kids, Wes is the oldest. (His dad is an autistic ex-Jedi and his mom is amazeballs. She’s like if Wes had never gone into the military. I love her.) But I still don’t have much specific in the way of childhood memories.
22) How they spend their money. -- Well, with the NR providing clothes and housing and all those basic necessities, I figure Wes basically just buys kids’ toys and lets the rest of his money sit. (Hobbie, who comes from a banking world, is absolutely horrified by Wes’s complete lack of financial acumen and summarily invests most of his money for him. So by the time he retires the first time, after the peace treaty with the Empire in 19 ABY, he’s... maybe not necessarily rich, but definitely well-off. He can afford to travel a bit, buy a farm on Taanab, that sort of thing. I’m seeing a vintage Y-wing on blocks in the yard, because I’m from Indiana and everybody has a hot rod and/or a couple of hangar queens up on blocks. ... @shadesofmauve, you have Corrupted me, look at all this space slang in my writing. ^_^) I have one story just about finished and waiting for a potential Kinktober, where Wes and Hobbie’s farm has a custom-built swimming pool for Hobbie, with a hot tub for both of them and a waterslide for Wes. I mean, the waterslide doesn’t come into the story, but it’s there. XD
23) What kind of alcohol they drink -- I feel like I answered this before at some point. @camshaft22 and I have some pretty detailed headcanons about Wes and Hobbie and alcohol, because we needed them for Afterimage. So in canon, pretty much everyone drinks one of a few things: lum, lomin-ale, Elba beer, Whyren’s Reserve (which is usually a high-class Corellian brandy but depending on the author can morph into a whiskey, become lower-class, etc). We know Wes likes Whyren’s, because Wedge gives him a shot glass of it as a sort of apology after the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank. It’s described as having a “rich, smoky flavor”, so I figure in general he’d like whisky-type drinks with that kind of peaty or smoky flavor to them. (Coincidentally, whisky is basically the only booze I don’t find undrinkably disgusting. There’s supposedly a gene that makes vodka and some other drinks taste horrible; I’ve definitely got something going on on that front, because even the tiniest sip of vodka causes me to splutter and make horrible faces. It’s not the higher proof, that just tastes more like Listerine, it’s something else I can’t describe. Maybe it’s bitterness, Google’s bringing up articles about a supertasting bitterness gene.)
Um. That paragraph got away from me a little. Basically, Wes likes whisky and brandy best, but will happily drink pretty much anything.
24) What they wish they could change about themselves -- Now there’s a question. Wes seems mostly pretty happy with himself. There are things in his history he’d like to change, but as far as who he is, physically and mentally and emotionally, he’s pretty chill with himself.
25) What other people wish they could change about them -- Hah. Depends whom you ask. His close friends wouldn’t change a damn thing. Some other people wish he’d just stop being Wes altogether. It’s a rich tapestry. ^_^ There are a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle, like if he’d just be a little more serious or a little less obnoxious or at least go be himself somewhere else, but most of those are post-Endor. The remaining pre-Endor Rebels in the service, especially the ones who remember Hoth and Yavin, appreciate Wes exactly as he is, because when you’re stuck on a goddamn iceball for a year, a big huggy guy made of warms who always has a joke or a prank or a game idea or a magic trick to cheer you up and break the monotony is priceless.
(In universes where Wes disappears long-term and is presumed to have committed suicide at some point after Distna -- Nonspecific Excuse is one, there’s another one I might do something with someday when I’m stable -- I always kind of think about the general reaction among Rebellion survivors who maybe hadn’t seen him since Hoth. I imagine it’s like hearing Robin Williams killed himself, like there’s that shock of... *tries to word* You know. It feels wrong, that somebody they remember as this perpetually sunshiny presence in a long dark endless winter, somebody who brought so much joy and love of life to everyone around him, could get stuck in such a dark place. That he helped them and there was nobody to help him when he needed it. Like, I mean, depression is a terminal illness, we all know that, but -- like, if he’d died in combat, that’s one thing, but... *words* Like, if he died in combat, that’s sad, but he was still him. For that joy to go out first and cause his death, that hurts more, in a different way. Am I making any sense?)
#wes janson#about writing#meta#headcanon#rogue squadron#star wars#depression#suicide mention tw#that was a lot of writing#tumblr you better not eat this post#i am copypasting it just in case
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This is hella creative
1. Soldier, Poet, King/ Choke/ I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (no shit it's 12:53am)/ Helena/ Taking Care Of Things/ Somewhere In Neverland
2. Shit. Idk! I'd love to meet multiple people. I mean I love the whole of MCR, but that's like 5 people. I know I act like such a 15 year old girl but tbh I'd love to meet Dan and Phil... Would you call 11 years a phase?
3. "The X Files", "Gary tells me you have security clearance?"
4. How everything and everybody I love will die one day
5. "Roses are red, Your eyes are nice, He didn't have ice cubes so he put vanilla ice" I literally couldn't ask for a better poem
6. It doesn't have phobia in the title but I have misanthropy and it's an automatic strong dislike to people.
7. Wiccan
8. Dying inside or going home
9. It's not that complex, it's easily MCR.
10. "I'm not going to get up and go into a whole other room just because you forgot to check the toilet paper roll" that was in text form but it still works
11. Ehhh, not really. Idk. I hope it exists
12. Don't have one-
13. My greatest weakness is something I don't want to say anything more about except that I'm a little. My greatest strength is my great ability to mask myself and my feelings, for example, I'm autistic but you could never tell.
14. Who are we kidding? Nicki Minaj is hot
15. I cry and listen to Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Both Of Us on repeat
16. You have no idea how much band merch I have
17. Sometimes I am. I know I could always be someone better, but I gotta learn to be comfortable with something I tried my hardest with: me.
18. Ok I have no sound I love except for rock/ punk/ emo music. I have misophonia meaning there's a specific sound that I hate, it can cause meltdowns and I have no control over myself. It's at a specific time, so if I'm feeling upset my misophonia kicks in and I absolutely HATE any human noise made. I do hate all human noises all the time but when I'm upset it's when I'll start shaking, crying, puking and pulling my hair out.
19. What if we could run away to neverland and have no worries
20. I'll just say I want to believe.
21. The air. I'm literally in my bed
22. Nothing, but whenever my ef comes into my room they can smell rice bubbles and apparently I smell like rice bubbles. My sibling says the exact same thing.
23. Ohio
24. Troye Sivan is so cute ahdbdhdvfj
25. Live your truth, food and sex. Tbh I am panromantic but I'm also lesbian meaning you know what
26. I don't drive because it was suggested I don't because of my height. It was just a guideline, like how 1% of people follow PG 13+
27. Fucking Star Wars. I've literally been forced. I've learnt the whole bee movie script in morse code.
28. I cracked my head open when a kid in 4th grade picked me up then dropped me after saying us shorties need to stick together. They were 6 inches taller than me.
29. Fuck there isn't one
30. Would you call a true rumour a rumour? If so then yes.
31. Nope. For example;
32. Cancer
33. It may or may have not been tea
34. uhh both?
35. Yes, I mentioned my ef before. (ef means enbyfriend)
36. I'm very guilty, I may have dated 32 people exactly..
37. I don't have one, I'm literally the least talented person
38. In Scotland
39. Writing in this
40. Kinda? I'm good at telling lies that I've told myself and I don't wanna put up with being able to tell every single lie they say
41. Call for anyone on the sidewalk to watch and make sure the dog is ok while I call a service and literally sprint when I see them coming.
42. A, no I would only tell my ef, Blayde, Taylor, Julie and Angel. I want everybody else to think of how they were too late to tell me they cared. B, I would spend them with my ef and siblings. C, No because I never expected to live later than 18 years old and I was never scared of death, my existential crises covered that.
43. Woah. Hold your fuckin horses mate. I'm literally listening to Runaway Train at the moment. I guess Sweater Weather?
44. Consent, love, listening and communication
45. Ya can't uneless you're Jakson
46. I actually did go insane once, I went to a mental hospital and it's not like the movies. It doesn't have padding and you don't have cellmates. I guess insanity did bring out creativity in me, I painted a lot and said that I can lie easily in words but I'd never lie in art and sign language.
47. Following Dan's guide to stalk your idol until they notice you.
48. "I wasn't wrong when I thought I was going to die before I'm 18." that may not be a very deep thought to you (I'm 18 at the moment) but it's true, because I'll never be the same person. I change as a person so often and one personality will never live to be older than 18.
49. An anatomical heart
50. Pastel purple, pastel pink, pastel blue and pitch black
51.
Don't look at me like that
52. Casey
53. "Do you have any life regrets?" is a question I'll never answer for anyone that knows me. Since nobody on here knows me, I regret life.
54. Selective invisibility
55. I would like to experience the first time I was told I matter. I wanna go back to 2011, I was 9 years old and I was told by a stranger on youtube that I mattered.
56. Well it would be the 14 years that my father never let me live in the house for
57. uH nO
58. I would go to Australia where it's safe
59. Uh yeah?
60. Nicki Minaj, Troye Sivan, tbh Dan pretty hot and so is Phil but they're not one person so just ignore that, ok I give up I'll admit Tom from svtfoe is hot and Bill (yes I know I find a triangular demon hot, your point?) Cipher from Gravity Falls is kinda hot 🥵
I feel like I know you better. You definitely know me better and if you've seen a glimpse of my instagram you'll feel like they're two completely different people.
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ZOMFG. I found a mix tape that @rivergst recorded off the radio in the summer of 1997. We’re listening to it, and suddenly they bust out with this song, which I think we had both forgotten even existed.
So many thoughts.
1. Johnny could be bi (based on her examples) and still be queer, but she very clearly means “are you gay.” Bi erasure!
2. Which just reminds me of my smol lesbian feminist friend at the time -- who turned out to be a bi trans guy -- who was against the word “queer” because word on the lesfem streets, at the time, was that gay men had taken over the term, especially in “queer studies” and stuff, and so it wasn’t inclusive like it was supposed to be
3. feel like everyone’s more or less moved on from THAT at least, which is great. although now i wonder if the terf/radfem push against “queer” for its inclusivity just went from “it’s bad for us bc gay men” to their current “it’s bad for us bc it prioritizes everyone except lesbians”
4. apparently this song was not only played on the radio all the time (which I do remember), but was playing in the prom scene of the movie Valley Girl?!?!
5. one of the comments is like “imagine if this song was played at a prom today???” and one of the replies is basically that gay people would not allow it because of the backlash against the term
6. don’t read the comments, they reek of ableism, mostly aimed at the autistic-coded guy in the video.
7. (i think they wanted to do something like “the reason she wouldn’t know for sure is if he was super awkward and COULD be ace” and this was how they demonstrated that without knowing the terms they were looking for)
8. which is another example of when people are queer-coded, and you can’t tell which type of queer, and it explicitly is drawn to include the possibility that they’re “not into that” with anybody... like jughead... and then people are like “no the only possibility is that they’re gay or straight, and they’re clearly not straight so they’re being gay-coded”
9. how the fuck did we get from “Johnny Are You Queer?” on the radio, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on TV and putting out their own books, etc., to LGBT people treating it like this is a super-offensive fringe term that the community has never embraced and used casually?
10. Apparently this was first released in 1982, became a hit single, and also, to be fair, pissed a lot of people even in the gay community off. The Advocate and the Village Voice and the religious right all hated it at the time, although a lot of LGBTQIPA+ people loved it. (Not only did it become a hit single, but apparently it made it to #2 on the CANADIAN charts?!)
11. But alternative rock stations like Live 105, and I think college stations and the like, were playing it really heavily in the 90s. I used to hear it all the time. And she played Pride parades in the 2000s, in LA and San Francisco.
12. Josie Cotton re-released it on a new album in 2010, and said,
“Originally it was half of a punk-rock song that was written and performed by a band called Fear, who was really hardcore. You really were frightened when you saw that band. They had a song—it was basically just that line, but it was screamed really angrily over and over.
“My [ subsequent ] producers reworked it into a pop kind of medium and pretty much rewrote the entire song except for that one line, which seemed to have a huge reaction in the crowd it was circulating [ through ] in Los Angeles.
“I was offered record deals if I dropped the song. At the time, IRS Records was a really great label to be on; the Police were on there and the Go-Go's. They knew about the song. They knew I'd recorded it. They just insisted I not do it and that was a turning point in my career. Of course, you always wonder about those things—about roads not taken. I just thought it was a really lousy way to start my career—compromising something that I thought was really funny shit.”
When asked, “It seems like half the gay community loved you for the song and the other half hated you for it. Why do you think there were such diverse reactions?” she said,
“I've thought about this at length and the best that I can come up with is that this song; it combined a tremendous amount of elements that, until that point, had not been put together.
“One of the elements was comedy and it took people off-guard to hear that word, which was pretty much an obscene word at the time except in the gay community. [emphasis mine]
“It's a very brutally honest question in pretty much a story of unrequited love. So, it's pretty much all of those elements together, people were taken back.
“They really didn't know what had hit them. Most people I knew laughed, including the gay people I knew and truck drivers and every walk of life; they didn't know how to react and laughter happened.
“It was a very liberating kind of feeling. You didn't know what had hit you. I think that some people didn't understand the intent of the song or just the pure, innocence of this character singing it. It was fascinating to observe.“
13. omg she did another interview that told more of the story behind this song. The whole thing is amazing: the right wing decided she was a trans woman, which in their eyes meant “actually a gay man trying to convert unsuspecting straight men to my homosexual lifestyle.”
14. Holy shit. Not only did Fear have their song with the line “You’re a fuckin’ queer boy” in that same sing-song (they didn’t have any “Johnny” in the song), but then apparently these straight guys, the Paine brothers, who ”were freakily dead-on when it came to predicting musical trends,” discovered the Go-Go’s... rewrote the song into “Johnny, Are You Queer?”... had the FUCKING GO-GO’s perform it, as a punk band at the time, at a live show... It became their big song....
....the Paines had a fight with the Go-Go’s over them touring with a band called Madness.... they parted ways and the Paines took their song back and forbade the Go-Go’s from performing it anymore.... Josie Cotton heard it, loved it, happened to meet Larson Paine in a bank line in Hollywood around when the brothers were looking for a new voice for the song.... and the rest is history? what the fuck am i reading
14. somebody who is better at pop culture studies than I am could probably do a whole dissertation on how, maybe, the internet simultaneously made community more accessibly to queer youth, and divided up mainstream media so much, that a lot of people became isolated from things like Autostraddle and the Advocate and everyone else who casually uses “queer”??
anyway
rb if you remember or love this song
like if you are baffled by its very existence :D
#tumblr pride#80s music#queer history#queer culture#gay history#LGBT history#lgbtqipa history#wall of words#i was painting my nails and then i stopped to post this video and then i got sucked in to all the fun facts about it#i still have to pee and now it's an hour later and my nails aren't done#send help
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Story and Character Set 4
Heartlines~ So this is about a very gay group of kids who find themselves, get hurt, fall in love and recover (not in this order). Touches a lot on transphobia, homophobia, racism, and the like. Main character is Benji, but I plan on having a few chapters in different characters POV.
Benji Einhorn~ Trans boy who has just begun his transition. (For the first few chapters he deadnames himself as he hasn’t picked a new name yet, but everyone he meets at the youth center calls him “Einhorn”, “dude”, “man”, or “B”. His parents consistently deadname him when they appear) Benji is a serious student who wants to develop apps and video games. He is a tech genius. He loves to write code and has successful hacked into several high end security systems when he gets bored. His parents want him to go to Harvard to major in business (he is a senior in high school), all while basically waiting to get married and be super heteronormative and terrible. Benji stumbles across the LGBT Youth Group that meets in a sketchy part of town as seeing a poster for it being torn down at his ritzy school. There he meets several people he knew his parents would never approve of, finds himself and falls in love with not one, but two people. (18 years old)
Anita Caldera~ Anita is a partially Deaf, a trans girl and the best lounge singer the city has to offer. She is one of the oldest of the attendees at the LGBT Youth Group, and is actually more of a volunteer. She helps run the organization as well as working at several other of the Youth Center’s organizations. She is a high school drop out who lives on tips and with the help of her roommate/best friend/boyfriend Luis. She likes to help people and prove people wrong. Her adoptive father is the current mayor of the city, but she became emancipated under circumstances that most of the city is unaware of. (18 years old)
Luis Duke-Banks~ Luis is the son of a heroin junkie and dead beat dad who was adopted by Mr. Colin Banks when he was 10 years old. He is currently in his first year of college for his degree in English Literature. He wants to be a high school student in the inner city where he grew up. Luis’ family has been involved at the Youth Center for years,and it basically a second home to him. Luis runs several groups a week for kids whose parents are addicts or alcoholics. He works at the campus library and is a bartender on the weekends. He lives with Anita, who he met at the LGBT Youth Group when they were both 13 (bi and ready to try), and tries to avoid (not really) his many siblings. (19 years old)
Bridgit Grossman~ 30ish year old lesbian who lives with her wife of three years and their two dogs, Bridgit runs the LGBT Youth Group. She has a degree in psychology with a minor in gender studies that led her down this path and she loves it. She runs several other youth groups at the center, as well as working for a non profit group that provides therapy to underprivileged students in the inner city. Overall good lady, helps Benji meet up with people in the group who can help him out.
Oliver Snipp~ Has been coming to the Youth group since he was 6 years old. Knew he was a boy at a very young age and his parents have always encouraged him to express himself. His parents died when he was 11, and he was sent to live with his parents. Becomes fast friends with Benji. He loves video games and track, one of the fastest kids in the state. He is hyperactive and loves to talk, but is also a great listener. (17 years old)
Christopher “Topher” Mendoza~ His parents are famous journalists who met while volunteering at the Youth Center for various organizations. His father is bisexual and his mother is trans. He himself is straight and cis, but goes to lots of meetings for the LGBT group to talk to kids about how his parents are well adjusted queer people. He and Benji actually go to school together, and Topher was the one who was putting up the signs for the club at the school. Topher becomes Benji’s lifeline during school and they are good friends. (18 years old)
Silver Frank~Her and Benji grew up down the street from each other and have known each other for years. Silver is the first person outside of the Youth Group that knows he is trans. She is loud, funny and wants to be a vet when she grows up. She really just wants her friend to be happy. (17 years old)
Demetri Lupei-Banks~ The oldest adopted son of Colin Banks, Demetri is happy-go-luck man who just got his first job in social work. He was 11 when he was adopted by Colin after his parents were murdered. He loves being an older sibling and would spend every day with his kid siblings if he could. Demetri is very open about his sexuality as bisexual and talks at the Youth Center a lot. He has been described as “terminally optimistic” by Luis. (24 years old)
Simon Banks~The youngest adopted son of Colin and Eve Banks (Eve had not been married to Colin when he adopted Demetri or Luis). Simon is one of the most grumpy kids on the planet. The only person he really likes is Demetri, and even then he acts like its a chore to be around him. He acts very mature for his age, but this is mostly because he has surrounded by so many people older than him. He was adopted as an infant, but Colin and Eve make sure he is properly educated about his Arabian culture. (9 years old)
Satomi “Tommi” Maki-Banks~ The only girl of the Banks family, Tommi is Autistic and often does not speak. She was adopted by the Banks when she was 13, and has never really revealed what happened to her before that. She is currently in school studying biochemistry, and she won a scholarship for her fencing abilities. Tommi loves her family and is usually very cheerful when she is with them.
Kory Anderson~ Anita’s ex-girlfriend and current best girl friend, Kory loves to get people involved in the community. She is vegetarian and is occasionally the kind of person who would guilt you into not eating meat. She is bubbly and kind, and is currently working on becoming the first trans model. She is currently dating Aaron Rao, and boy does she think he’s cute. (19 years old)
Aaron Rao~Luis’ ex-boyfriend and current best guy friend. Aaron is an ex-junkie who has a young daughter that changed his life. He works as a mechanic and is so in love Kory its disgusting. He actually introduced Luis and Anita at a party one time. He is rough and sarcastic with a heart of gold. (20 years old)
Colin and Eve Banks~ Colin Banks grew up in the wrong part of town when his parents were killed when he was 4. He grew up being bounced from foster home to foster home. He was eventually taken in by a kind older man who pointed him the right direction. He taught Colin how to channel his anger into something constructive, like volunteering and kick boxing. He went to college for business and started several small business in the city that took off quickly. He gives to charities just about every chance he gets and is considered one of the better people in a terrible city. Eve grew up in the slums as well, but did not get so lucky as Colin. She put herself through community college, and worked her way to the top of the fashion industry in the city. They met in their 30′s and felt an immediate connection. Colin and Eve love their children very much, but would often like to sleep in more than they do. (Colin is 54 and Eve is 55)
Henry and Daphne Einhorn~Henry and Daphne are very flighty people. They do a lot of things out of a need to be at the top of the social pyramid. They often leave Benji home by himself, especially as he gets older. They come from a long line of old money, and are very traditional. Not the easiest people to get along with. Nice is different than good. (Both of them are 48)
Orion Calloway~ Mayor of the city and Anita’s adoptive father. He is very posh, rather prim man. He has been mayor for quite some time, but before that he ran many restaurants and nigh clubs. His mother was a Polish immigrant during WWII and he has become wealthy in a way to honor her memory. He donates money to the Youth Center every month, and is a part of many other charities. He adopted Anita when she was 11, before she began her transition. He himself is a gay man while a large “family” of others like him. However, Anita’s coming out drove a wedge between them for some reason, and she moved out when she was 17. Orion keeps an eye on her when possible. (Says he is 52, is actually 56)
There are a lot of minor characters in here as well. There are some very nasty people who crop up that I don’t really feel like writing about yet, but these are the main players. Some of this stuff gets heavy, but this is my favorite idea right now.
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