#and kevin saw that and wasn’t allowed to leave
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the fact that kevin day also witnessed a man being chopped up in the tower at evermore after neil’s audition is mad, and it’s something that is very much not addressed ever. like, maybe part of kevin was so accepting of how things were in the nest because he knew that this is the second branch, and if he were to leave, he’d become the main branch’s problem because he knows too much, and the main branch casually chops men up as a warning to literal children. and then he’s still called a coward for leaving ?? but also a coward for wanting to go back to make the inevitable less painful for him ??? and that’s not even considering what riko and tetusji did to him specifically, before even jean arrived at the nest. and his mother’s death would’ve been quite recent at that point. just insane.
#like i’m pretty sure the man being chopped up was the final straw for mary to take neil and run#and kevin saw that and wasn’t allowed to leave#so he accepted that maybe where he is is the better of two options and decided it’s okay because at least he gets to play exy#so exy became his only escape because if he was so scared that if he were to leave the nest he’d be the next one given to the butcher#it’s not until he doesn’t have exy anymore cause riko took it from him that he leaves#god i have so many thoughts but i am going to stop now#aftg#all for the game#kevin day#neil josten#so you’ll believe that neil was scared of nathan for a good reason but won’t believe kevin was scared of riko for good reason#(i said i’d stop but i did not)#and tetsuji#like even in tsc kevin is still calling tetsuji the master without hesitation
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Stripped
˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Summary: Shawn does a promo nearly naked and it leaves Kevin hot and bothered.
˖⁺‧₊˚✦ a/n: Smut for smut’s sake. Thought of this after making this gif set. AO3 link
Razor Ramon had been crowned the WWF Intercontinental Champion during Shawn’s suspension, but Shawn was willing to do anything to prove that he was the real champion.
It had been his idea to do his promo scantily clad, of course, thinking it was a clever way to emphasize that he’d never been stripped of his title. That and he knew Kevin would be watching.
Kevin was full of indecent thoughts as soon as he saw the blond come out in nothing but a white towel. And hiding his lust had been no easy feat with Shawn gallivanting around the locker room in his loosely tied towel, exposing those tanned thick thighs with no effort.
He’d almost lost his will when Shawn sat spread eagle on the edge of the couch during his interview, his towel not leaving much to be seen. Kevin tried not to fall into the trap, knowing that Shawn was just putting on a show probably hoping to get a rise out of the older man. But it was working, that much being evident by the very hard problem growing between his legs.
As the promo ended, Kevin couldn’t throw the camera crew out of their locker room quick enough.
Shawn was still admiring his beauty in the vanity mirror when he was suddenly turned around and hoisted up into Kevin’s arms. His yelp was cut off by Kevin’s lips abruptly smashing against his own. Shawn returned the kiss with a triumphant smirk, wrapping his arms around Kevin’s neck and his legs around his waist.
Kevin’s tongue ravenously battled Shawn’s as he set the blond down onto the edge of the vanity table, clumsily knocking over Shawn’s expensive collection of shades and earrings. But Shawn didn’t care about the items as he brought Kevin closer with his legs, dry humping the man as they made a mess of themselves – heavy breathing, lip biting, hair pulling, and light moans filling the air.
Shawn’s arrogance slipped away as Kevin dominated him. It was almost funny how in front of the cameras, everyone seemed to think Shawn called the shots. But they both knew who truly ran the relationship behind closed doors.
Kevin pulled away from the kiss with a tug of Shawn’s bottom lip, panting, “You’re such a tease.”
Shawn’s eyes were half-lidded as he innocently answered, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“The only thing you’re stripped of is your clothing, huh?”
Shawn leaned back on his hands, grinning, “Was only stating the obvious.”
“Oh, were you now? But you still have this on.”
He eyed Shawn’s towel which looked like it was hanging on for dear life in Shawn’s disheveled state. Kevin placed his hands on Shawn’s knees, slowly spreading his legs wider to reveal more of his thighs. Shawn’s flexibility allowed him to widen his legs almost to a split, only being stopped by the table pressing against his legs. With the towel now pooled at Shawn’s hips, Kevin was pleased to see the tent poking under it.
Shawn watched with eager eyes, biting his lip before saying, “I do, don’t I? Maybe we should fix that.”
Kevin rubbed his hands up Shawn’s thighs, stopping at the edge of the towel. He lifted it to reveal Shawn’s hardening cock, saying in awe “You really went commando.”
He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised, but he thought the blond would’ve at least had the decency not to risk flashing his dick on live TV.
“Turns you on, doesn’t it?”
It did, and Shawn knew it.
Instead of answering, Kevin kneeled before the blond, his head disappearing under the towel as he brought his lips to the head of Shawn’s cock. Shawn fully hardened at the sensation, his breath hitching as Kevin’s tongue flicked across the tip. Kevin placed a hand at the base of Shawn’s cock, stroking it halfway up as his mouth traveled halfway down.
“Mm, Kev. Oh, yeah,” Shawn moaned. It wasn’t everyday that Kevin graced him with a blowjob, and it was a shame because that tongue did wonders.
Kevin kept a steady pace for some time, working Shawn up until the blond was desperately grinding his hips up into his mouth. He gave a long hard suck as he pulled off of Shawn’s cock, using the mixture of his saliva and Shawn’s precum as lube as he stroked the entirety of the blond’s cock.
He sat back, coming face-to-face with Shawn’s puckered hole. “Look at you. All nice and clean for me. Confident I’d eat your ass today?”
“I was hoping,” Shawn struggled to say clearly through strained breaths.
But all clarity was gone as he felt Kevin’s wet tongue lap at his entrance before entering the tight ring. He pushed his tongue in and out, fucking Shawn skillfully as he continued to jack him off.
“Mmmh, yeah. Like that, big daddy. Please. Keep doing that, please,” he begged. And boy did Kevin like when he begged.
Kevin’s tongue continued to explore Shawn’s hole as he quickened the pace of his hand on Shawn’s cock. Meanwhile, he brought up his other hand to pinch at one of Shawn’s perked nipples. Shawn’s legs trembled in overstimulation, a low whine being heard in the mess of slick sounds in the room.
Shawn lifted up the towel and ripped it off, revealing Kevin’s dark head of hair between his legs. But when he went to take off the belt, Kevin stopped him. “Leave it.”
And Shawn swore his dick twitched just at the thought of getting fucked wearing the Intercontinental belt.
After Shawn’s obedient nod, Kevin brought his tongue back to Shawn’s clenching ass, causing Shawn to groan in satisfaction. He brought a hand to the back of Kevin’s head, shoving his tongue deeper inside. He thought it couldn’t get any better than that until Kevin suddenly inserted a finger along with his tongue.
Shawn gasped as he threw his head back, accidentally banging it against the vanity mirror. “Ah! Daddy-” Shawn’s words were failing him and he knew he wouldn’t last long like this.
But he wanted more. He needed more.
He tried to put more force behind Kevin’s head to keep him inside, but it was the taller man who reminded him who was in control when he removed his hand from Shawn’s cock to grab onto Shawn’s wrist, holding it down to the table.
Kevin removed his mouth from Shawn’s ass, continuing to finger the blond as he wrapped his mouth around Shawn’s dick, deep throating him to the best of his ability.
“Oh, fuck!”
Kevin nearly choked when Shawn brought his free hand to the back of his head, lowering him further onto his cock. Kevin removed his hand from Shawn’s ass, gripping the blond’s wrist and holding it down. Shawn whined, now defenseless as Kevin pinned both of his hands down to the table.
Kevin slid his mouth off of Shawn before standing, placing his forehead against Shawn’s as he whispered, “That’s not very nice, Shawn. You’re being greedy.”
Shawn seemed to be barely there, his eyes glazed over in a daze. “I’m sorry, big daddy. You just feel so good. Please, let me have you. I need you. Please, daddy.”
Kevin smiled gently at Shawn being right where he wanted him – a mess of himself, begging, forehead shining from sweat, eyes glistening half-lidded. He was puddy in his hands. To top it all off, there sat the WWF belt reflecting off of Shawn like diamonds. He was gorgeous, and Kevin had half the heart to not deny the blond any longer.
He gave Shawn a light peck before letting go of Shawn’s wrists. He brought Shawn’s legs up, bending them at the knee and bringing them towards Shawn’s chest until the blond’s feet rested on the table.
Kevin let out an unsteady breath at the sight. “Shit, you look so sexy. Spread your legs wider. Stay just like that for me,” he instructed, leaving Shawn fully exposed in nothing but his championship belt.
He went to his bag to retrieve the lube he always kept on hand. But with as desperate as Shawn seemed, he guessed there wouldn’t be much prep needed.
Kevin unzipped the front of his pants, not even bothering to take them off as adjusted himself to pull his dick from his briefs through the opening of his jeans. He slathered himself up, darkening his jeans as a bit of the lube got onto them in his haste.
He stroked himself with one hand as he prepped the blond with the other, his lubed fingers stretching Shawn as much as needed.
“Mmph, daddy please. Please hurry before I come,” Shawn warned, his cock oozing precum. He was right on the edge but was trying his best to hold back.
“Patience,” Kevin whispered, continuing to properly stretch the younger man.
After finding Shawn’s sweet spot, the younger man crying out as he threw his arms around Kevin’s shoulders, Kevin removed his finger and replaced them with his cock. He caught Shawn’s lips as the blond gasped at the intrusion, drinking up the moans Shawn let out in his mouth.
There was no holding back for either of them after that. Kevin jutted wildly into Shawn, the vanity mirror knocking against the wall in tune with every thrust. Shawn moaned loudly, uncaring of who could hear through the thin walls of the locker room. If anything, he hoped someone could hear how well his bodyguard was fucking him, wishing they could be as lucky as Shawn.
Shawn watched as Kevin’s dick disappeared and reappeared from his hole, how his stomach muscles contracted with every thrust. And as Shawn saw Kevin’s sweat dripped down onto the gaudy belt around his waist, he thought this was singlehandedly the hottest thing they’d done together – and that’s saying a lot.
Shawn brought them closer with his legs, clinging onto Kevin like a koala to a tree, feeling his dick press between Kevin’s stomach and the WWF belt. Shawn’s eyes rolled back as Kevin’s strokes grew shorter, the man rapidly rolling his hips into the blond.
Shawn wrapped his legs tighter around Kevin, grinding up to meet his thrusts, which sent him over the edge. “Fuck, Kevin! Fuck me! I’m about to-”
He gave a loud yell as he came in spurts, his come landing on the belt and smearing between him and Kevin as the older man continued to pound into him. Kevin soon followed behind, going still as he came hard into the blond.
Kevin dipped his head into Shawn’s neck, both men struggling to catch their breaths. As they both came down, he rubbed a gentle hand along Shawn’s back, signaling that they were done. It was a nonverbal cue he’d learned to do long ago back when Shawn felt like he needed to prove himself to whoever it was that he was screwing. They’d come a long way to get Shawn to understand that sex was a two-way street.
Kevin lifted his head, pressing it onto Shawn’s as he caressed the blond’s cheek. Shawn’s eyes fluttered open, still a bit hazy as Kevin asked, “You good?”
Shawn gave a lazy smile as he nodded. His smile widened when he looked down to see the streak of white contrasting against the gold on his belt. “We made a mess.”
“You made a mess,” Kevin chuckled. “But as always, I’ll be there to clean it up.” He swiped a finger across the belt, gathering a layer of come before licking it off with a smirk. “Now it’s clean.”
Shawn stood corrected – Kevin licking his come off the WWF belt was single handedly one the hottest things he’d seen.
Kevin grabbed Shawn’s towel to clean up the remaining come from the belt before moving to clean Shawn’s entrance. He helped Shawn sit into a more comfortable position as the blond said, “The office is going to kill us if they ever found out about this.”
Kevin wiped himself, coyly answering, “Won’t stop us from doing it again, will it?”
“Nope,” Shawn snickered. “Hey, I was thinking. After this whole run as Intercontinental Champion, we should try for the tag belts.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Wouldn’t it be hot if we both fucked in our belts?”
Kevin snorted at the idea, but he knew Shawn was being serious, especially with the daydreamy look he was giving. And the blond was always one to one-up himself.
Kevin folded the towel to a dry spot, using it to dab at the sweat along Shawn’s hairline. He pulled Shawn into a soft kiss, whispering, “Let’s just focus on you being IC champ first.”
#divider cr: @h-aewo#shawn michaels#kevin nash#kevin nash x shawn michaels#big daddy cool diesel#kevinshawn#wwf#wwe fanfiction
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No but Sam and Gadreel is so freaking fascinating, especially with Gadreel pretending to be Sam and telling Dean “maybe I would’ve liked the choice, at least [of letting in an angel or dying]” and then, after killing Kevin and Dean saying Sam’s name, telling Dean “there is no more Sam” but Gadreel thought he “played him convincingly.” Gadreel knew Sam would’ve wanted an actual choice and played it so well that Dean did to realize this wasn’t his brother. And it’s like, Gadreel grasping this about Sam when Dean seemingly did not and this all comes back to Lucifer’s possession where Dean saw how that ended yet Gadreel did not. Gadreel does not intend to leave Sam’s body yet after Crowley gets inside to bring Sam up to speed, Sam just throws Gadreel out, much like he managed to overthrow Lucifer all those years ago so it really does all lead back to Lucifer for Sam. Gadreel who wants to redeem himself for letting the serpent in and sacrificing himself to help accomplish that vs Sam wanting to make up for breaking the last seal and throwing himself into the cage with two furious archangels for what he believed would be eternity; Gadreel apparently never considering Sam to be an actual obstacle in his plans when Crowley knows Sam is actually the main threat here when it comes to Gadreel. He tells Sam to throw “that punk-ass holy roller out.” Crowley sees Sam and Gadreel fighting and yells for Sam to take control and cast him out, with Gadreel telling Sam he’s not strong enough and he might die if he doesn’t. Gadreel more or less calling Sam weak vs Lucifer never thinking for a moment Sam can beat him and then both of them losing to Sam, only Lucifer is back in the cage while Gadreel is evicted. And man, Lucifer briefly pretending that Sam has control right after he possessed Sam before revealing it’s Lucifer calling the shots and Gadreel pretending to be Sam when talking to Dean before killing Kevin and revealing Gadreel’s been in control ever since he learned of Dean’s plan. The parallels are paralleling. Gadreel and Sam is about Lucifer at the core, really. It is all about Lucifer!! From the fact that Sam would rather die than have an angel possess him when Lucifer was the last angel to possess him to Gadreel being so desperate for redemption after Lucifer tricked him to Sam overthrowing Gadreel in a delicious mirror of overpowering Lucifer after Lucifer threatened to make Sam feel every one of Dean’s bones break and Sam saw his own hands smite Kevin thanks to Gadreel to Gadreek being imprisoned like Lucifer was in the Cage and then Sam threw himself into the Cage as well. Two people horribly wronged by Lucifer yet Gadreel horrifically wrongs Sam as well so while Gadreel and Sam should be able to understand each other and get along great due to their respective histories with Lucifer, it’s all overshadowed by what Gadreel did to Sam. Lucifer is essential to the Sam-Gadreel dynamic
Also, poor Kevin, unaware Gadreel is possessing Sam and this leads to his death because Kevin had no way of knowing the person who looked exactly like Sam posed a threat. Even as Kevin questions just why he and Dean painted the sigils, Dean does not tell him Sam is not solely Sam so Kevin thinks it’s possible it’s someone else entirely. Like, Dean even worded the initial mention of the sigils as a hypothetical, he never tells Kevin “there is an unknown angel who lied about his identity in Sam right now” so Kevin fully thinks of course, Sam can be trusted, surely he’d have been told there was a strange angel living where he is or been told Sam might not be Sam, this possessed person must be someone that will be lured to the bunker so the angel can be kicked out. Something something, Sam trusts something that wears his brother’s face and unknowingly allows an angel in while Kevin trusts something that wears Sam’s body and dies as a result: Sam survives due to his trust but would’ve preferred death while Kevin dies and in both cases, Dean plays a major role because Sam 100% trusted what he thought was his brother while Kevin is left unaware of the angel in Sam despite asking Dean what was going on; really, season 9 is about the dangers of lying (or it could’ve been). But Dean telling Sam to make Dean stone number one and this trust being why Sam says yes and then Dean lying to Sam for several episodes. And add in my above stuff about Lucifer being so so important to Sam-Gadreel; we needed Hallucifer during this.
You're literally so right!!!!
These parallels are insane, the one that really got to me is one I had never considered before: both Lucifer and Gadreel pretending to be Sam (and managing to fool Dean). It really is about how both Sam and Gadreel have been wronged by Lucifer and tried/are trying to redeem themselves of a mistake involving Lucifer, they have a shared trauma in a way, but Gadreel is too caught up in this desperate wish for redemption to see this as a point of connection but instead uses it against Sam by recreating Lucifer's abuse of Sam: He, like Lucifer, possesses Sam, successfully pretends to be him - and ultimately makes the same mistake as Lucifer by underestimating Sam. Like you said, Lucifer is so important to the Sam/Gadreel dynamic!!
And the sad thing is that Sam is the one being that would definitely understand Gadreel and would have been on his side - if only they had met in a different way.
This also made me think about that who knows Sam best poll from a while ago (with Dean and Lucifer as options). Someone (possibly katsidhe?) commented on how Sam is unknowable, people can only grasp parts of him. And it really is like that: Gadreel knows him good enough to know Sam hated having his choice taken away by Dean, yet is unable to recognize that Sam poses a threat to him; Dean for all the ways he knows Sam is unable to understand the betrayal and anger Sam feels after what he did to him; Lucifer understood Sam in the ways they resembled, not in the ways they differed, ultimately unable to recognize the power of his love.
You’re so right! Poor Kevin! He really got the raw deal. In a way he never really had a chance. Yeah most hunters got pushed into that life by traumatic experiences but he was literally forced by heaven when they made him a prophet. And Sam and Dean treated him so shitty and took advantage of him. Yet he still trusts them and that is what gets him killed. I don’t remember the scene you described but Dean seems so sinister to me in that situation, he basically dooms Kevin by withholding vital information from him. God S9 really could have been about the dangers of lying…
(Also, and sorry but I have to get wanky, it’s...let's say interesting how Dean never gets any of the hate for Kevin’s death that Sam gets for Charlie’s death despite the fact that Charlie was an adult who had all the information and made an active choice to get involved in the situation, while Kevin was a teenager who didn’t have essential information about the situation bc Dean actively and intentionally withheld it from him and was basically just trying to survive after being forced into this position.)
#i can't believe i'm saying this but maybe i should rewatch s9#it has been around 10 years. somehow. fuck the passage of time#maybe i'd see it from a different perspective now#ask#sam and gadreel#gadreel arc
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late night cuddles | joonyoung
pairing: bf!jacob x gn!reader
genre: slice of life, fluff, and bits of angst // warnings: mentions of not feeling okay (not too into depth) and food
summary: when jacob notices that you’ve been listening to your sad playlist while at work, he worries and does his best to give you comfort. // word count: 1473 words
note: first comfort fic & fic of the year :,)
To be honest, you weren’t even sure when you started to cry. All you knew was that you needed to cry and per usual whenever you were in this mood, you had started to play your sad playlist.
Putting on your headphones and lying in bed to soak in the feels. Letting the melody and lyrics bleed into your heart & mind. Allowing yourself to experience whatever it was you were feeling.
With the blankets being pulled up to your chest, you found yourself crying into it. You wished that there was some known reason why you were feeling this way. Lately life has been alright and nothing was stressful. However, the need for an answer is not always needed.
The bed felt like it was swallowing you whole so you got up. Laying against the bed frame and listening to the music. Only then do the tears end up painting your face. It felt so nice to cry it out but it also hurt.
Not even bothered to try to dry your face in case someone saw you like this. Besides, the only person who might see you was your boyfriend. And last time you checked, he would be coming home late so it was fine. Little did you know, he was worrying about you.
It seems like you had forgotten that he can see your Spotify, therefore can see what you’re listening to. The Boyz were practicing for their next comeback but in between, they’d take breaks. They were using Jacob’s laptop since they had the tracks and everything. During one of the breaks, he went to choose the next song since it was his turn to choose.
Right before he selects a track, his eyes slide over to the friend’s activity section on Spotify. When his eyes scan for your name and see what you’re listening to, they subtly widen. He wanted to send a quick text but couldn’t as he heard the members asking him to pick a song.
Telling himself that he’d text you soon but it slipped his mind. More like his mind ended up getting stuck between trying to focus on getting the new choreography right and worrying about how you were feeling.
It had gotten to the point where the other members started to pick up that Jacob’s head clearly wasn’t 100% here. Asking him what was wrong or if he needed a break. He had waved them off and reassured them that he was fine. However, Kevin knew he was lying… actually everyone did but they weren’t going to push Jacob because they knew it might not go anywhere.
Nonetheless, Kevin had wanted to help Jacob if he could. So he caught Jacob during a break to ask him again. And surprisingly Jacob was straight forward about it.
He didn’t want to hide anymore and felt the need to tell someone, but at the same time he didn’t want to just tell everyone. He felt scared that it would end up distracting everyone and ruining the vibe for tonight. Plus they were only getting closer and closer to the comeback music video shooting. So they really needed to get this choreography down and nail it when they film.
After Jacob lets Kevin know about what’s on his mind, Kevin does his best to comfort Jacob that it’s valid for him to worry and if he really is concerned, the members will understand if he leaves early. The members all love you, maybe even more than Jacob (whatttt? Who said that?), and care for you. More than anything, they value your relationship and happiness. A quick hug and Jacob is left again to his thoughts.
He knows what Kevin says is true but would it really be okay for him to just take off like that? Pondering and walking in circles. Anyone could see that Jacob was clearly thinking hard about something. Thinking so much he didn’t even hear Sangyeon call him over.
As he snaps out of it, Jacob confesses what’s been going on tonight to Sangyeon. Kevin’s words ring true as Sangyeon quite literally tells him the same thing. “Jacob, you know we care about you two. We would hate to make you feel like you have to be here to practice instead of being with y/n. Besides, you've been doing really well with this new choreography. Just go. Go to y/n and let them know we care about them too.” Sangyeon assures him and pats Jacob’s back.
Jacob can’t help but let out a sigh of relief and give Sangyeon a quick hug before bolting out of the company building to your apartment. He hopes that he’s not too late. Texting you that he’ll be there soon. To no avail, he doesn’t get a response on the way there. Jacob had also stopped by a convenience store to pick up your favorite snacks and his dinner.
Once he arrives, he’s dashing up the stairs and unlocking the door. When he steps foot inside the apartment, it’s super quiet. Calling out your name to see where you are, the only thing that answers him is silence.
Eventually he reaches the bedroom and that’s where he sees you. Your headphones are still in, your face is glistening due to the tears, and your back is up against the wall. Jacob does his best to get your attention so that he doesn’t startle you. Unfortunately, you seemed to have spaced out.
He ends up slowly but surely scooting on the bed next to you. Replacing the blanket with his arms wrapping around you. Using his hands to wipe away your tears and moving your hair out of your face. The feeling of his hands on yours is the moment you realize he’s home.
For a few good minutes, he’s just holding you and not saying anything. Conversely you're holding onto him and not saying anything either. His heartbeat is beating quite quickly and you wonder if it’s because of you.
Jacob removed one headphone from your ear and put it in his. “My darling, are you feeling okay? I know it sounds like a stupid question and everything but I got really worried when I saw you were listening to this playlist.” He’s now facing you and uses his fingers to lift your face towards him.
“I… I don’t know to be honest. I don’t know why I’m even crying or feeling this way. I just do and it sucks. Also shouldn’t you be at practice?” Your eyebrows furrow when you realize that he was indeed supposed to be at practice. But then he softens as he glides his finger against your eyebrows.
“Don’t furrow your eyebrow, darling. You’ll get more wrinkles that way. To answer your question, yes but it’s okay. I talked about it to the members before I left. By the way, they wanted to relay the message that they care about you too.” Before he continues, his hands find his way to yours. Intertwining them before giving your hand a kiss.
“I just wanted to let you know, my precious darling, that it’s completely okay to not know why. Not all questions have answers. I just hope you know that I love you. We can stay here and cuddle as long as you want.” Your eyes look up at his face. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Another truth that rings true because Jacob’s eyes are soft and kind just like his soul (and heart).
You don’t say too much but you snuggle in closer into his body. Letting him know that you’ll take him up on his offer. Whispering a soft “thank you” and pausing your music. In due time, you end up switching your playlist to a more lighthearted one. Fitting for the moment you’re in with your one and only (Jacob) bae.
Just as you two are about to doze off, his stomach lets out a roar and wakes y’all up. You can’t help but laugh at the way the moment is now declared over. “Cobie, I’m feeling better and you are hungry. Let’s go eat something delicious!” Planting a kiss on his forehead and getting out of bed to cook dinner.
You extend your hand to him expecting him to get up but instead he pulls you back into the bed. Snuggling into your neck to pepper you with kisses. The only reasonable reaction to this was to laugh. It tickled and you appreciated whenever he got like this with you.
It reminded you that while love may not be perfect, the love you guys have for each other comes pretty close to it. That and to cherish the moments we have together. There is truly no one else other than Jacob Bae who could give you better late night cuddles.
please don’t forget to interact with this by reblogging, leaving a note, or sending an ask about what you did or didn’t like about this!
thanks to jacob for being another comfort idol for me <33 I love him sm and im tagging @sungbeam b/c i know u love jacob (maybe even more than me) 🥺
take care and happy new year ! here’s to all of the fics I’ll write this year
signing off with love
- ash
#kflixnet#underworldnet#tbz x reader#the boyz x reader#the boyz imagine#the boyz fluff#best we the boyz#tbz fluff#jacob bae x reader#jacob x reader#joonyoung x reader#bae joonyoung x reader#tbz imagine#tbz x you#tbz x y/n#the boyz scenarios#the boyz joonyoung#tbz joonyoung#ash and queue
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My relationship with my body has evolved considerably over the course of my own evolution as a woman, wife, and mother. Up until the age of twenty- eight my focus was on fitting myself into the normative constraints set by society. My early relationships were coloured by a presumption on my part that every man necessarily desired and expected a shape reflective of what I saw in fashion magazines. It felt like an impossible fight, and it was. Then I discovered weight lifting, and my body became a tool of strength and metamorphosis. I learned the joy of challenging myself, but I also learned the critical lesson that nurturing and recuperation are essential to the task of getting stronger. This was transformative not only to my physique, but also to my mind, heart, and soul.
I began working with Kevin in my mid-thirties to capture images of my body as I had never seen it before. I had chosen Kevin because I was drawn to the degree to which his work was expressive but neither cliché nor constrained by societal norms or presumptions of what images of female nudity ‘shouldʼ look like. The process of posing nude was anxiety-provoking, but also very empowering and uplifting. I discovered a beauty in the images that Kevin produced that allowed me to see and appreciate my naked form in a very new, positive way. I decided to return to Kevin every five years or so to create a tangible personal record of aspects of my evolution as I navigate middle-age. As such, it felt like a very natural decision for me to participate in Kevinʼs Torso Project and support his work and messaging.
In my later thirties, I became both a wife and a mother in short order. These experiences shaped my relationship with my body in critical ways. Having given
birth to two babies, I was left with a new level of awe of womenʼs bodies and what they are designed to accomplish. The process of conceiving, growing, birthing, feeding, and nurturing life struck me as miraculous. I began to appreciate the functionality of my female anatomy in a way that had never previously occurred to me. For the first time, however, I also began to feel a bit other-worldly about a body that was not really my own, but rather on loan to the needs of my children.
When my youngest child was three, I made the difficult decision to leave my marriage. It wasn’t until I had extricated myself from the painful patterns of emotional abuse that I realized to what degree I had internalized so much negative messaging about my figure from a man who should have been intent on adoring it.
In the three years since, the process of recovery from the negative effects of my marriage on my self- concept has become symbolic of a larger process of restoration and rediscovery. As I approach fifty, I am resolved to putting myself back together as a stronger, more resilient, and equally as beautiful version of my former self.
I now see my body through the lens of resilience and empowerment. The years that I spent resenting aspects of my form, though regrettable, have served to highlight to me how far I have come. My body has created and nurtured life, has carried me through the extraordinary experiences that have shaped me, and is a platform through which I am rediscovering my voice and reclaiming my womanhood as I enter what I know will be the best years of my life.
Torso Series. Kevin Stenhouse Photographer
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It Seemed Like a Good Idea - Chapter 15
Summary - Hailey’s US visa was due to expire, which normally wouldn’t be an issue as the CPD would get it renewed but due to a backlog of paperwork, this wasn’t possible. This meant Hailey was faced with the real possibility of having to leave the country, her job and everything she held dear. That was until Jay offered up a solution which would allow her to stay in Chicago, in Intelligence, with him - they could get married. Getting married was a good idea, right?
Chapters - 15/20
Chapter Title - The Sleepover
Notes - this is one of my absolutely favourite chapters so happy reading! AO3 Link
‘So where are we supposed to go?’ Hailey overheard Kim saying when she entered the locker room. The brunette cop was pacing back and forth clearly close to tearing her hair out at whatever the reason for the phone call was. ‘And you can guarantee we can get back in tomorrow evening?’ She huffed, dropping down to the bench with a soft thud.
Hailey hovered in the doorway, her friend was clearly in distress but she wasn’t sure it was her place to intervene - she didn’t know how private a situation she had walked in on.
‘We look forward to your call,’ Kim said sarcastically before hanging up the phone and running a hand through her hair.
‘Everything okay Kim?’ Hailey asked, taking a tentative step into the room.
‘Just my apartment getting fumigated with minimal notice so they need us out for 36 hours,’ Kim explained. ‘Now I’ve got to find somewhere for me and Makayla to stay tonight and we can’t stay with Adam because the muppet managed to flood his apartment two days ago so he’s with Kevin until it dries out. Trudy is in the process of turning her spare room into an AirBnB so there’s no space with her either. A hotel is expensive but it’s looking like our only option,’ Kim rambled off.
‘What about me and Jay?’ Hailey said before thinking. ‘We have a 2 bed so you two are welcome to stay.’
‘I’m sure you don’t want us cramping your newly wed style,’ Kim brushed her off but Hailey shook her head and stood her ground.
‘I’m serious Kim, if you and Mak need a place to stay you can stay with us,’ Hailey smiled warmly. ‘Jay won’t mind.’ She was about 85% sure Jay wouldn’t mind, he wouldn’t want to see his friend and her child turned out onto the street and paying Chicago prices for one night in a hotel on a cops salary wasn’t going to be fun.
‘Are you sure Hailey?’ Kim asked, still clearly unsure.
‘Positive,’ Hailey smiled. ‘We can make it into a sleepover, I’m sure Mak will love it.’
‘Thanks Hails,’ Kim said, a huge grin pulling on her cheeks as she jumped up and pulled the blonde into a tight hug. ‘I appreciate it so much.’
‘You’d do the same for us,’ Hailey wrapped her arms around Kim and squeezed. Now she just needed to break the news to Jay.
——————————————————————————
‘Of course it’s fine,’ Jay shrugged. ‘I’d have offered too if I’d have known.’
‘I know I should have checked with you first,’ Hailey said, apologetically. Jay was reacting exactly the way she had expected, like it would be no big deal to have people in their apartment where they were supposed to live together as man and wife.
‘They are our friends Hails, it’ll be fine,’ Jay said, squeezing her arm. ‘I’ll just kip on the floor in your room. I’d say the couch would be fine but that would be hard to explain if either of them came out and saw me there,’ he chuckled lightly.
‘That was my worry,’ Hailey said, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
‘We managed to act like a couple all day at our wedding and afterparty, we had Mouch and Trudy over and nothing happened, this will be fine too. We can order a pizza and stick on a movie and no one will suspect a thing,’ Jay said, squeezing her arm again and waiting for her to raise her eyes to meet his before he let go.
‘I did say we could turn it into a sleepover,’ Hailey smirked.
‘Then a sleepover we will have,’ Jay winked and Hailey couldn’t help but smile. She also felt a warmth spread through her at the thought of having a sleepover with Jay. She knew it was stupid, he was going to be sleeping on the floor and it wasn’t like she had never fallen asleep with him before.
There’d been a couple of occasions now when she had woken up tucked into his side on the couch with the TV volume turned down low with him scrolling on his phone. He always said he didn’t want to wake her or she looked too comfy to move, but a small part of her wondered if he was also enjoying the newfound closeness they had been experiencing both since they tied the knot and specifically since he had met her mother with her. That night she had slept in his arms for hours and she had felt so safe and if she was honest with herself, so loved. She hadn’t slept that well since.
There had been other nights where they had wished each other goodnight and retreated to their own rooms and a part of Hailey had debated knocking gently on his door and either inviting him into her bed or crawling into his. But she still couldn’t tell if he wanted it. Sometimes she was certain that he wouldn’t shirk her advances but then a voice in the back of her mind would wake up and tell her she was being foolish and why would he feel that way. So she never did. She would simply fall into a less than restful sleep missing the feeling of his arms around her.
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Makayla bounced through the door when Jay pulled it open. Hailey was standing in the kitchen, she had been trying to put away the rest of the washing up before their guests showed up but that had clearly failed as the dishes still sat cluttered on the drying rack.
‘Thanks for having us,’ Kim said with a shy smile.
‘It’s no problem,’ Jay said, reaching out a hand to take her bag. ‘I’ll pop this in your room and then I think Hailey is going to order some pizza’s if you want to go tell her your favourite,’ he smiled down to Makayla whose excitement was infectious.
Hailey smiled warmly at the interaction between the pair and failed to notice Kim come to stand next to her.
‘He’s good with kids,’ Kim said quietly. Her voice shocked Hailey who jumped and turned to stare at her, she had a grin on her face that Hailey couldn’t quite read.
‘Yeah he is,’ she agreed.
‘Are you guys…’ Kim trailed off and when Hailey looked confused she added, ‘you know…’ raising her eyebrows.
Hailey suddenly realised what her friend was implying, ‘oh no, not at all!’
‘Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,’ Kim apologised.
‘No, you’re fine,’ Hailey shook her head. She wasn’t offended by Kim’s question but it wasn’t something she had ever considered people may ask now they were married. Hailey wasn’t even sure she wanted kids, and when she was currently in a fake marriage with her best friend who she wasn’t even sure what her real feelings were towards him, it wasn’t something she was even considering. ‘I’ll just be the favourite Aunt,’ she said with a forced smile, ignoring the image that had swam into her mind of a little girl with blonde hair and familiar green eyes being pushed on a swing by a tall figure that she didn’t even need to look at to know who it was.
‘You’re my favourite Aunt!’ Mak said loudly, bounding into the kitchen towards the pair of them.
‘Don’t let Aunt Nicole hear you saying that,’ Kim said with a smirk, running her hand over the young girl's braids.
‘She’s not the one buying pizza!’ The adults both had to laugh at Makayla’s statement.
‘That’s true,’ Hailey winked. ‘Okay so what pizza’s am I ordering then?’
——————————————————————————
‘I’ll just be 30 minutes,’ Kim said, apologising once again as she headed to the door.
‘Kim, I’m sure Hailey and I can keep your kid alive for at least an hour,’ Jay smirked from his position on the couch, he had given Makayla control of the remote so she was focused on scrolling through the movie options.
‘Well you say that now,’ Kim sassed back.
‘We’ve got her, go see your landlord and if you think you’ll be there longer just text us and we can put her to bed if needed, though I think Jay will probably have her so hopped up on sugar so that might be a trickier one,’ Hailey chuckled.
‘It’s not a sleepover without sugar,’ Jay said with a boyish grin.
‘Go Kim, we’ve got it,’ Hailey smiled, opening the front door.
‘Okay, I owe you both,’ Kim said, pulling Hailey into a quick hug. ‘I won’t be long.’
Hailey closed the door behind her and turned back to the pair sitting on the couch. ‘You both going to be alright if I quickly grab a shower?’
‘Of course, I promised this one I’d make popcorn surprise,’ Jay grinned.
‘What’s the surprise?’ Hailey asked curiously.
‘We can’t tell you Auntie Hailey or it wouldn’t be a surprise,’ Makayla said seriously, her little brows furrowed as if how dare she ask.
‘Exactly,’ Jay smirked, adding a wink for good measure. ‘Have a nice shower and we promise to leave you some popcorn.’
‘Popcorn surprise,’ she muttered to herself, smiling as she headed to the bathroom.
——————————————————————————
Hailey took her time in the shower, it had been a long day at work and her shoulders were incredibly tight so the hot jets were providing some welcome relief.
When she finally ventured out, wrapping one of the large white towels around her body, she could hear Jay and Makayla chatting from the living room. Kim was clearly still out talking to her landlord. Hailey wasn’t paying particular attention to what the occupants of the living room were discussing, focusing more on pulling out a pair of comfy sweatpants and oversized tee but then she heard something that made her hesitate and listen.
‘Uncle Jay, can I ask you a question?’
‘Of course,’ Hailey heard Jay say.
‘You and Auntie Hailey are married right?’
‘We are, you were at our wedding, remember?’ Hailey heard a giggle and smirked at the memory of Makayla dancing around in her Elsa dress under the twinkle lights that adorned Molly’s.
‘And you got married because you love each other?’ Hailey’s chest tightened at this and she pulled her towel a little tighter around her as if it was a shield.
‘Yes, that’s normally why people get married,’ Hailey could tell from Jay’s tone that he wasn’t sure where this line of questioning was heading.
‘And being married, does that mean you love her more now?’
‘I guess it does,’ Jay responded softly and Hailey dropped herself onto the edge of the bed. She knew she shouldn’t be listening but she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t block it out now.
‘How?’
‘Well now we are married and we live together, I get to see all the little things about her that I didn’t know I would love, grow into things that I would miss if she ever wasn’t with me again.’
‘Like what?’
‘Quite the interrogation Miss Burgess, your mother would be proud,’ Jay chuckled.
‘Don’t change the subject Uncle Jay, what do you love most about Auntie Hailey?’
‘Well obviously she’s beautiful, but she’s also super smart and super kind. She always puts everyone else’s needs and feelings before her own. Like in the mornings she will always pour my coffee out for me when I’m in the shower so it’s ready when I get out. She always makes sure to put her shoes away because I like things neat and tidy even though she doesn’t really care. So because she’s my wife, I always try to put her first in return, like making sure if she’s cold I give her my sweater, or having her favourite music in my car, or snacks in my bag in case she’s hungry.’ Hailey’s breath caught in her throat. He did do all of those things, she’d never thought about it before now.
‘That’s nice of you.’
‘Well it’s always easy to do nice things for the people you love.’
‘What else do you love about her?’
‘I love how she’s not afraid to be herself, she’s genuine and honest. I love how brave she is. You might not know this about your Auntie Hailey but she is one of the bravest people I’ve met, even though I always want to keep her safe and wrap her in a big hug.’ Hailey wrapped her arms around herself, his words had hit something that she had buried deep within and all of a sudden it wasn’t her own nakedness that was making her feel vulnerable. It was the idea that Jay knew her better than she had ever thought he did, all the things that she thought she had kept under wraps, he knew and understood, and if what he was saying was to be believed, he loved.
‘She gives good hugs,’ Mak said matter of factly and Hailey grinned.
‘She does.’
‘And now she’s your wife, you get to hug and kiss her any time you like.’
‘I do.’ Hailey felt her chest tighten.
‘I want to get married someday.’
‘You do?’
‘I do, and wear a pretty dress like Aunt Hailey did’
‘You can wear a pretty dress anytime you like.’
‘I know, but I also want the big party.’
‘Well that is an important bit.’
‘And if it’s my party then I don’t have to leave early and I can dance all night. Do you and Hailey get to dance together?’
‘We do sometimes, but there’s not always opportunities for dancing when you’re a police officer.’
‘You should dance with her more often Uncle Jay, girls like to dance.’
‘I’ll keep that in mind.’
‘Is Auntie Hailey your best friend?’
‘She is.’
‘Was she your best friend before you got married?’
‘She’s been my best friend for a very long time.’
‘And you’ve always loved her.’
‘For most of that time, yes.’ If Hailey had been holding anything it would have clattered to the floor at his admission.
‘So why did it take you so long to get married?’
‘Well it can take a while to make sure the other person feels the same as you do.’
‘Why didn’t you just tell her you loved her when you felt it?’
‘It’s not always that easy,’
‘Love it the easiest Uncle Jay, you just feel it.’
Hailey had heard enough, she all but ran back into the bathroom, the towel falling to the floor. She stared at herself in the mirror, her wet hair hanging around her face, droplets of water still lingering on her skin. She reached out to trace her lips with her hand but then her eyes zeroed in on the ring on her finger.
She didn’t know what it was about Jay’s words that had hit her so hard tonight, he had just been telling the same story they had told everyone; friends, family, Immigration officials. But it felt different tonight. His words felt so true they had wormed their way under her skin. Maybe it was that he could have brushed off Makayla’s line of questioning and changed the subject. Maybe it was that he could have painted it into a fairytale for the young girl. But he hadn’t. He had spoken from his heart, he didn’t know she had been listening and she was certain he wouldn’t have spoken so openly if he had.
As she looked into the mirror, her blue eyes swimming with tears reflected back at her, she was overwhelmed with emotions. She had been letting herself enjoy the concept of being married, of having Jay as her husband that she had failed to realise something crucial. It wasn’t that she was falling in love with him. She had been in love with him since before this had all started. Maybe it was the thought of losing him that had caused her to spin out so badly when there was a threat she would have to leave the city. Sure she loved Chicago and she loved her job. But she loved Jay more.
And he had all but admitted to Makayla that he loved her back. That he had loved her since before this had happened.
She smiled at the possibility that her feelings were not unrequited, that he would return her affections. But as it always did when her own happiness was at the forefront of her mind, her self-sabotaging tendencies bubbled up. Images of him laughing at her if she admitted how she felt, of telling her it had all been a lie, of telling her he didn’t love her back and he never would.
She let her eyes fall to the ring. Why was love so complicated? Makayla had said it was the easiest thing in the world, maybe it was to a child, but to Hailey, it was anything but.
——————————————————————————
When Hailey finally reappeared from her shower, Jay could sense there was something playing on her mind; she was jumpier when she sat down next to him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder like he had done many times before. Maybe it was the pressure of having to keep up the act in the privacy of their own home, he guessed it must be weighing on her mind.
She relaxed into him after a short while, her gaze focused on the screen currently playing Moana, courtesy of Makayla, but her eyes seemed glazed over and less than focused.
‘You alright?’ He asked in a soft whisper whilst Makayla was distracted singing along to Your Welcome.
‘Yeah, just tired,’ she responded with a small smile. ‘Kim should be back soon.’
That was clearly he was all he was getting out of her but he tightened his arm around her, just as a reminder that he was there for her and whatever she was thinking, he could share that burden.
Kim returned about 20 minutes later, the conversation with her landlord clearly being lengthier than she had initially thought.
‘She’s been good as gold,’ Jay said cheerily when Kim took a seat on the other end of the couch.
‘How much sugar did you give her?’ Kim asked, wide eyed as her daughter danced around the living room.
‘Jay made his popcorn surprise,’ Hailey chuckled.
‘And what, pray tell, is in popcorn surprise?’ Kim raised an eyebrow.
‘Apparently telling would ruin the surprise,’ Hailey responded and Jay nodded, concealing his grin. ‘But if the boxes in the trash are any indication it involves a lot of candy.’
Kim groaned whilst Jay laughed.
‘Okay, Mak we can watch until the end of the movie but then it’s straight to bed okay?’ Kim said.
‘Okay mom!’ Mak took a pause from the dancing to grin at her mother before throwing her arms above her head and spinning around again.
Jay kept Hailey tucked into his side for the remainder of the movie, she continued to ease up as it progressed and by the scene with Tafiti her hand was resting on his thigh and her head had dropped onto his shoulder. He hoped whatever had been playing on her mind had eased but if she still seemed preoccupied tomorrow he would ask her about it. He had learnt it was best to give Hailey a bit of breathing and processing room before pressing her for explanations to her behaviour. The more you pressed the more she would close herself off and bury whatever was bothering her deeper down.
——————————————————————————
‘You don’t have to sleep on the floor Jay,’ Hailey said quietly when Jay exited the bathroom. The room was lit purely by the singular lamp from Hailey’s nightstand, the blinds had been drawn and blocked out all the remaining light from the Chicago skyline. Hailey was already under the sheets on the near side of the bed, her blonde hair splayed out on the pillow as she lay on her side to look at him.
‘I thought we said it would be weird if I slept on the couch?’ Jay puzzled.
‘I wasn’t suggesting you sleep on the couch,’ Hailey spoke softly. ‘We are both adults, it’s a big bed.’
‘Oh’ Jay realised what she was saying, what she was offering and he suddenly lost the ability to form a coherent thought. ‘Umm..’ he swallowed, ‘if you’re sure?’
‘Of course,’ she said with a gentle smile, ‘but if you kick me I withhold the right to push you out the bed,’ she chuckled and the lightness that was usually between them was back in the air.
‘That sounds fair,’ Jay agreed. ‘And if I tell you I also sleep on the left side?’ He smirked.
‘Then I know you’d be lying,’ Hailey countered, ‘you sleep on the right, or are you forgetting that I’ve seen you in bed?’ Her cheeks flushed as if she realised what she was saying and the moment she was referring to.
‘How could I forget that?’ Jay murmured as he crossed to the other side and drew back the covers. He had replayed the moment that Hailey had woken him up and kissed him more times than was probably sane and definitely more times than he would ever admit to.
He climbed into the bed, getting himself situated and marvelling at how ridiculously comfy Hailey’s mattress was as Hailey switched off the light.
‘Night Jay,’ he heard her say through the darkness.
‘Sweet dreams, Hailey,’ he responded.
Jay stared at the ceiling, listening to Hailey’s breathing and choosing to focus on nothing else for a few moments. He wanted to reach across, to tangle his fingers with hers or pull her back against his chest, bury his face in her hair, pepper her neck with kisses, but he didn’t do any of that. It felt like taking advantage. She had invited him into her bed to sleep, nothing more. Who was to say she wanted him to do any of that anyway, maybe it was all in his head. She was only pretending to feel for him how he felt for her.
He let himself ponder it for a moment until he felt the familiar warmth of Hailey’s hand pressing against his. She linked her fingers with his and he let out a sigh, he hadn’t thought she would reach across and break the invisible barrier but she had and he couldn’t be more grateful.
He let his thumb drag against the back of her hand, aimlessly swirling patterns against her warm skin. It didn’t feel like enough though, he would hold her hand until the end of time if it was all she would allow but he wanted to feel more of her against him. The nights she had let herself fall asleep in his arms, he had never felt more at peace. He had never let himself drift off, stayed awake relishing in the contact and he could never promise he wouldn’t have an unwanted physical reaction either. She didn’t deserve to wake up to that.
Clearly he wasn’t the only one who wanted more though because he felt Hailey twist in the bed from her back to her side, her other hand coming to rest on his bicep - it was now her time to start tracing patterns against his skin. If she could see in the dark he imagined she was connecting all his freckles in a never ending constellation.
His breath hitched as her fingers brushed lightly against his skin and he heard her also intake a sharp breath. He squeezed her hand, hoping he could silently tell her that it was okay and he liked what she was doing. He was terrified if he spoke aloud, he would scare her away. It was like they were both using the comfort of the darkness to edge closer to the line that existed in their relationship.
As he tried to figure out a way to pull her into his arms from this position, she seemed to read his mind. He felt Hailey scoot closer to him, keeping her fingers tangled with him, her other hand moved from his arm and settled on his chest, just over his heart. He let out a shaky breath as her head tentatively rested against his shoulder. She hoped he couldn’t feel how quickly his heart was racing underneath her finger tips.
It still wasn’t enough though, yes she was leaning against him but he still felt like a silent participant. He shifted and briefly dislodged her but before she could pull back he unlinked their hands and used that arm to wrap around her back and remove any remaining space between them. His hand rested on her hip, and his other came up to join the one resting against his chest. He mingled his fingers with hers and kept it pressed against his chest, praying his heart would slow down but he knew with Hailey finally in his arms it was unlikely.
Hailey let her head rest against his chest, tucking herself as close as she could, her legs resting against his so there wasn’t a part of them that wasn’t touching. He couldn’t see her face from here, knew she couldn’t see his but he couldn’t help but smile and hoped she was doing the same.
‘Night Jay,’ she murmured, her voice distorted as her face was pressed against him. That was all he needed to drop a kiss to the top of her head and tighten his arm around her.
‘Goodnight Hails,’ he said, allowing his eyes to close, the smile still tugging on his cheeks. He didn’t know what had made her seek him out this evening, knew they should probably talk about it, their current situation was less than platonic but he didn’t care. The woman he loved was in his arms and that was enough for now.
#upstead#Chicago pd#Hailey upton#Jay Halstead#Hailey x Jay#one Chicago#upstead fanfic#chicago pd fanfic#upstead fanfiction#chicago pd fanfiction#upstead fic#chicago pd fic
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The Mental Hospital
Kevin was struggling with this very strange fetish… every day he would fantasize about men bullying him and stripping him naked and embarrassing him to no end, and that just made Kevin so very exited.. whenever Kevin went out in public he would look at all the cool and handsome looking guys and fantasize about them humiliating him… Kevin couldn’t take it anymore… he would get horny all day long everyday and it was affecting his life…
So one day Kevin decided to go to see a therapist for help.. but what Kevin didn’t know was that the therapist was a religious conservative..
Kevin meet up with the therapist.. his name was Dr.Anderson.. Kevin explained his problem to the therapist.. he told him every embarrassing detail… and during this discussion the therapist was convinced that Kevin was a crazy man…. And that’s when the therapist pressed this big red button under his desk and that’s when the alarm went off and some guards barged in the room.. the therapist told the guards to take Kevin away and then they escorted Kevin outside into a van… Kevin was terrified and trying to set himself free but it was no use… the men in the van started to judge Kevin for his kinks and made fun of him and laughed… the men
Kevin was freaking out and that’s when this handsome doctor walked in the room… the doctor wanted to study Kevin and understand why he was a dirty little freak… the doctor told Kevin that he was not allowed to leave the hospital until he was cured of his humiliation kink … the doctor put a shock color on Kevin and put on a helmet device connected to a computer to monitor his brain waves… the doctor began his experiments
The doctor called in 2 big sexy muscular men and asked them to tease and make fun of Kevin and how ridiculous he looks naked all tied up… and as the men teased Kevin his cock started to get rock hard.. that’s when the men started laughing even more… Kevin was getting so excited and with the push of a button the doctor shocked Kevin with the shock collar… it didn’t hurt Kevin that much.. it was just an extremely uncomfortable feeling
Next the big manly men started to pull their pants down to their underwear and started to shake their ass for Kevin and even rubbed their asses on his face and asked Kevin to smell it… poor Kevin just couldn’t resist and he started to rub his face in their asses and smell it and kiss it and love it… his cock was getting hard once again.. he was so excited and happy and that’s when he got shocked once again and Kevin’s whole mood was ruined :(
The doctor told Kevin he’ll stop shocking him is he stops getting horny over weird stuff
The big manly men pulled their pants back up and try a new tactic…. The men took their phones out and started to take pictures of Kevin’s naked body and his face.. the men laughed at him and teased him and told him that they will be exposing him online.. they made Kevin feel very exposed.. and that’s when Kevin’s cock got super hard.. the men noticed his hard cock and started to laugh at Kevin even more.. they made fun of him for getting hard for this.. they called him a freak and a weirdo.. but Kevin didn’t care… Kevin loved this humiliation and ridicule… the doctor was about to shock Kevin again but he decided to let Kevin cum.. the doctor was curious how hard Kevin will cum to this humiliation… so the doctor untied Kevin’s right arm and told him to jerk off… Kevin jerked his cock fast as the men continued to ridicule him.. one of the men turned their phone over to Kevin and Kevin saw how ridiculous he looked naked.. and once he saw how ridiculous he looked and how the men were laughing at him at the same time.. Kevin got so very excited and shot his load all over himself… and that’s when the doctor shocked him again and the men laughed and laughed
That was enough torment for today.. the doctor packed his things and left.. the big manly men were teasing Kevin and laughed at him because he wasn’t allowed to leave still.. the men walked to the door and looked at Kevin while closing the door and laughed at him…
Kevin was left there to be humiliated the next day….. but what the people there didn’t know is that this was Kevin’s plan all along 😈 Kevin loved this place and never wanted to leave
Kevin was humiliated every single day…
….The end
Written by Danstela :)
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Shallow friends
Characters: Reggie Mantle x male reader, Chuck Clayton (Platonic) x male reader
Universe: Riverdale
Warnings: Sad, happy ending
The gloomy atmosphere you had around you the last week, became stronger the more days passed by. Now on the seventh day, it was unbearable. Most of your friends had already distanced themselves from you, so as to not get sucked up in your mood.
Even at lunch, you sat most of the time alone, just because nobody could deal with your bad mood. Despite never talking to anyone about it, too negatively in that matter.
Only, Kevin, some of the football jocks, and Reggie your boyfriend, would be at your side, when they were at lunch that is. Since Kevin had his theater thing going on, he wasn’t as often as he used to be, at your side. While Reggie and his team trained most lunch hours.
Which would've left you with the rest of your friend group, but as the assholes that they are, they weren’t there for you.
But it was only the start of the day, so you had hoped, that your friends would be at your side, at least that day - The one you needed them the most.
There was just one problem. School itself. For some reason, talked the entire day about family, genetics and in English the teacher even told your class, to write an Essay about yours. That was the point, at which you finally exploded.
„Are you fucking serious?“, you blurted out angrily. Hands balled into fists, slamming down on your desk.
The entire class was stunned by your show of aggression. Until a week ago, you were a poster child for good behavior always smiling and helping others, which also was the reason, Reggie fell for you quickly. You transferred three years ago after your parents moved with you to this small town.
„Do you have something to say, Mr. (Y/L/N)?“, your English teacher asked one part astonished, another fearful, and the third one, angry herself.
„I have a lot to say, but fuck you, is the most I will be willing to tell you!“, you screamed at her, while packing up your stuff, leaving her and the entire class in utter disbelieve.
No one ran behind you as you walked out of the school. Not once did you get a call or any visitors that day. You felt alone, broken and so sad. Why did everyone just forget about you? Why did no one care? Was it because you weren’t born in this small town? That they all just let you be? Especially on that day? The one that most likely was the day, that could've saved you but wasn’t allowed, because of your parents?
As you walked in the next day, you were already the talk of the century. Everybody had their piece to say about your sudden outburst. Called you a fake, because of your friendly, and good attitude before, but at this point, you did not care anymore.
It only got worse, when you wanted to step a foot in your first class and instantly got sent to the principal's office, where you got a good chewing and he told you to apologize to your teacher. But you denied his request.
He was perplexed at that, and instead gave you detention, which you also refused. As he wanted to call your parents, you just told him, he could try, but after what happened, they wouldn’t care either.
Instead of hearing the man talk further, you just left the room, back to your classroom, where all eyes sat on you as if you were some attraction in a zoo.
This class, your boyfriend was in as well, but every time he tried to talk to you, you walled him off. He did not care, why your mood changed that drastically and not just that, but your entire personality began to shift. He just sat there, looking at you confused.
When the break came, you were the talk of the school again. But now your so-called „Friends“, were a part of it too. Openly attacking you for your changes. One person knew about what had happened. Not because you wanted him to know, but because he saw your first breakdown. Because he was your neighbor.
He, as well as your boyfriend and Kevin, just sat there in silence. As the rest attacked you.
„I knew you were just a phony! Nobody could be so fucking nice all the time.“ Was Veronica's contribution. She was the last and the one to break you.
Your face twisted from „I don’t care“, to „I will rip your head off “, in seconds. Fists already hanging down your body, as you stood up.
„Shut the fuck up, you stupid good-for-nothing cheating bitch! You have no fucking idea what happened and frankly, you do not care, so just fuck off and let me be!“
Just with that, you turned around, grabbed your backpack, and were on the way to walk out of the lounge, just to stop a centimeter away from it. „Because you all want to know what happened, so insistingly. My brother got killed. Thank you for your interest in my life. If it just would've been real, sincere interest!“ That you could say more than just another „Fuck you“, was a surprise to you too.
Back home, you immediately got into your darkened room. You did not know why, but you opened the black curtains and found a basket hanging in front of your window, together with a lot of notes.
How couldn't you see any of them? A line between your home and the home, in which Chuck lived was set up.
As you opened the window, you finally realized, how bad it smelled in it. You carefully got everything in, read all the notes and the basket was full, of snacks.
„At least one person cares,“ you mumbled as you looked through the basket. But before you could eat something, you decided against it. And instead waited until the day was over.
Just as you had thought, a knock came not long after. As you opened the door, you saw the well-dressed, smiling Chuck, in front of you. „Hey,“ was everything he had said before you pulled him into the house.
Wordlessly took him into the living room, at pointed to the basket. „Oh you finally found it, I actually wanted to take it down, if you hadn’t answered the door, to put it in front of it. Because well it's supposed to rain later in the evening.“
„Why?“
„Because you looked so broken when you cried in my arms. I might be an asshole and yes have done horrible things. But I do have feelings, you know. It just broke my heart to see you like this,“ he admitted freely.
„Reggie will come by later. I gave him a stern talk, please don’t be too harsh to him. He actually is an idiot. But he loves you. He did not realize that you changed. But he should be more observant from now on.“
„Thank you!“
„See me as your second brother, I know it's way too early for that, but I’m absolutely sure, he would want someone for you to have to lean onto. He was, after all a big brother and all of them want that!“
You wanted to slap him because he spoke on behalf of your brother, who had no way of saying anything anymore. But he was right, he always was there for you. Not only your rock but the only one, who knew the real you. The one that was now dead, just like the only one who had known that side of you.
Instead of punching Chuck, you embraced him, crying ugly into his shirt, but he sat down with you, let you cry, and whispered encouraging words into your ear.
He sat there with you until Reggie came, he knocked at the door. As Chuck called that the door was unlocked, he came in. Seeing you on Chuck, still crying, must've been a shock. But the guy under you waved Reggie to him, and slowly switched places with him.
„I let you two alone,“ Chuck told you two quietly, before getting out of the house.
„I’m sorry, I didn’t notice,“ Reggie told you softly after Chuck left. „Chuck, explained everything, why he knew and how your brother was. A great guy, I must say. He also- He punched me a couple of times. It seemed to be the only way I learn.“ He tried hard to conceal that fact with a slight chuckle. But you knew his father and what he does to him.
„You are here now,“ you just told him in between tears. Which let his heart beat so fast, that you almost thought it would jump out.
Never would've you thought, that Chuck would be the one saving you from killing an entire school. Before you could not understand serial or mass killers. But now after this show of narcissism and ignorance, you became badly aware of how much people who do not care but should care, are a part of this.
Both Reggie and you had kept to yourself the entire weekend, inclusive the Friday, you both took off from school. On the Monday after, your so-called „friends“, came to you to apologize. But you did not want to know any of it.
„Betty, I can understand your father. With a family like yours, I would've started killing too! You always want everyone to think, about how perfect, nice, and considerate you are. But it's all facade.“
„Veronica, you are just as sick as your father. Killing everyone in your way, it doesn’t matter how many lives you destroy. Shall any of you or your associates cross my way, I will give this favor back!“
„Archie, you are almost as ignorant but dumber than the rest. The guy, Veronica told all wanted to rape her? She meets with him regularly, to get her brains fucked out. Completely of her free will. If you want I have pictures and even a videotape. I can understand her, if I hadn’t Reggie, because this guy has a huge member.“
You immediately turned to Veronica, „If you touch my boyfriend I will make sure, that you will never be able to get pregnant! So just keep to your side guy and fuck off. In fact, I now know how normal people become killers, it is because they had people like you around them! But I will not have that problem anymore!“
Just with that, you took your boyfriend's hand, but again before walking out completely, you had one more thing to say. „The saddest part is, all of you self-proclaimed good people, are together not as good as a referred bad guy. Chuck, was the guy who had saved me. Not because he could gain anything from it, but because he wanted to!“
With enough salt in their open wounds, you left them. Again telling Reggie, to keep away from them, especially Veronica. But he told you, that he had only eyes for you. Now more than ever. You reward him, with a bathroom quicky after that.
At least the cat is out and your boyfriend loves your real personality, more than the good boy one. Only wins for you there.
[Masterlist]
#Reggie Mantle x male reader#reggie mantle imagine#Reggie Mantle#Chuck Clayton#Riverdale x male reader#Riverdale imagine#Riverdale#x male reader#male reader#male reader imagine#x male reader imagine
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How would Zenith interact with gwen?
I think Zennith would see a lot of Azmuth in Gwen, for better or for worse, and their relationship would reflect that.
Unlike Azmuth, Zennith has no reason to stay out of the the story until SOTO. But so Gwen can still have some experience before meeting her, let’s say Zennith couldn’t leave Galvan Prime due to actions of Vilgax.
I think a spot to introduce Zennith would be the Gw10 equivalent to Back with a Vengeance, with Malware coming with her as well. (Myaxx would probably have to stay on Galvan Prime to keep things in order) After viewing Gwen’s actions with the Omnitrix (note: pop ups confirm that Azmuth viewed Ben once he activated the watch, so I don’t see why Zennith wouldn’t be the same), she would come to collect the device, after being disappointed with how Gwen used it.
Gwen would of course be against this, prompting Zennith to elaborate. Instead of using the natural abilities of all her aliens, Gwen used her transformations as upgrades to her own skills, which defeats the purpose of the Omnitrix allowing an ultimate understanding of every species. The hard part being, she saw the potential Gwen had, her good intentions, her bravery, but ultimately she wasn’t using the Omnitrix to what it was truly built to be.
However, Vilgax attacks (butterfly effect results in Kevin not being here. I don’t know if Charmcaster would be positioned to take his place, but if not let’s say Psyphon was who tracked down and unfroze Vil) which leads to obvious complications.
Taking what Zennith said to heart, Gwen would use her transformations like she hadn’t before to defeat Vilgax with the help of everyone. Seeing her earnesty in her actions, Zennith decides to leave the Omnitrix with her to see if she “lives up to her potential”.
From then on I think Zennith would try to push Gwen to be the best version of herself. She’d be caring, but stern and wouldn’t hesitate to call Gwen out on her shit if she felt the need. Meanwhile, Gwen would be anxious if she was living up to what Zennith sees in her.
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Beyond Death
We found the haunted flash drive while looking for a place to set off fireworks for a Memorial Day party. During the search, we came across an abandoned house in the woods. The USB stick was in a drawer on an end table in the basement. I stuffed it in the pocket of my jeans and took it home.
We never did set off the fireworks. Either the area was too sensitive ecologically or there was too much of a risk that the fireworks would cause a building to burn down.
One of the first rules of computer safety is to not plug random flash drives into your computer. And it's not just because of viruses or possible illegal materials contained on the flash drive.
Most people don't know this, but spirits can attach themselves to anything such as a hairbrush, chair, mirror, or ring. Houses don't have to have a tragedy or anyone to pass away in it to be haunted. You can bring a spirit home with you either by purchasing something second-hand or having something passed down to you. If that object belonged to someone who had a strong connection or bond to it, and they're still hanging around they will go wherever that object goes. A lot of people have something they are protective over and love. A lot of objects hold energy. So be careful with anything used.
Of course, I didn't know this time. I got a hell of a shock when I plugged the USB into my computer. Instead of whatever the outer shell promised, I got a ghost-infested computer.
We didn't know the computer inherited the ghosts from the USB stick until this happened. I got up and I saw a ghost at the end of the hall. She wandered into my room and told me to get out because it wasn't safe to even remember what happened, let alone be there. Once I left, she said, "Do not remove the golden eye from the unnaturally large holy woman's skeleton" and then vanished into a glowing purple ball.
I forgot about the haunted USB stick until Norah said to me, "Judith, you need to cut your hair before Friday."
"Why?" I had no idea where she was going with this.
Norah soon made it clear where her head was at. "I don't want you to upstage me when I do my article presentation"
I shook my head. "Well, you don't need to worry, because I'm not in your group." I was in Kevin's group, and we were scheduled to deliver our presentation next Tuesday.
Norah didn't seem to care. "Doesn't matter," she responded
"You're being immature and petty"
"No," Norah shouted, "you're being sexist!"
I shook my head and scoffed, "No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. I'm just reacting to external circumstances."
I looked Norah right in the eye and said, "You're unhinged"
"I am not! You're only saying that because you don't think women are allowed to get angry because it violates so-called feminine norms." Her actions proved my point
I picked up and left after this. It's a good idea to remove yourself from the situation if you become so frustrated I can't think straight. But if that's the case, why do I always get in loads of trouble for doing that? I'm beginning to think that the underlying message is you should avoid getting that frustrated to begin with.
I could feel all eyes on me as I ambled down the hall. "Where are you going?" I could hear the poor sod covering for my Period 4 Government Studies class say, "We didn't give you permission to leave yet".
That just made me run faster and faster. I start thinking about where I was going, the only thing that mattered in my mind what's how fast I went. Now that I think about it; that might be part of the reason why I had no idea how I got to where I was. "I see her," I heard them say, “she went that way".
They thought I went through the door. I had gone up the stairs. Did they know where I went? There's only one way to be safe: go down the slide marked exit.
The side dropped me off in a cave. It looked like a cross between a cathedral and a giant mouth with rows upon rows of fangs.
I don't think I was the first person down here. I turned around to where the slide opened up and I saw The remains of lanterns, and a piñata with the head missing; evidence that suggests a couple of kids had a bush party down here and didn't do a good job cleaning up because they left in a hurry.
I wandered over to the area. I saw some ferns, an umbrella, and a shrine containing angel figurines, paintings, candles and glasses, those little cardboard crosses, polished stones, and a bottle of Chanel #5. Directly underneath the shrine on a pile of roots was the skeleton with a very large, shiny rock in the eye socket
I heard a noise. I had no idea what made it, but I impulsively took the rock and threw it. It was only afterward that it occurred to me that I had removed the golden eye from the skeleton of a priestess.
The priestess' spirit manifested as a blue blob that followed us around. Once she saw me, she manifested herself as a green, ghostly figure with a tall, thin frame, stringy hair and long nails.
I'm beginning to suspect that the ghost in the USB stick is the ghost of the last person that made this mistake. I'm not looking forward to what's going to happen next.
@wonderful-prompts
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one hell of an amen - chapter 7
Summary: His mom always taught him that doing what’s right isn’t always easy, but Jay never imagined how hard it’d be. Or how it could cost him everything.
Notes: back with a new chapter and, while I’m not 100% sure how many chapters there are left I do know that we’re getting close to the end of this fic!
Read on AO3 or below!
After getting the call about Jay waking up, Hailey couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Her teammates cheered at the news and Kevin even picked her up and spun her around in celebration. When she had been placed back on her feet she was immediately pulled into Trudy’s arms and the blonde detective hugged back fiercely.
“Thanks, Sarge,” Hailey whispered, sincerity clear in her voice. “For everything.”
“You’re welcome, Hailey.”
Trudy squeezed her again. Over Trudy’s shoulder, Hailey made eye contact with Voight.
“Thank you,” she mouthed.
Voight nodded at her and Hailey even saw a small smile on his usually stoic face.
Trudy eventually let Hailey go, allowing Vanessa, Kim, and Adam to each get a hug in.
By the time everyone had gotten a hug in, Voight had made his way over to the group. He stopped in front of Hailey. “Let me know when you have more details. We’ll figure out your time off.”
Hailey nodded and Voight gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze, just as her phone rang again. Will’s name flashed across her screen, and she instantly knew her brother-in-law had gotten the same news she did.
Answering, Hailey immediately heard the unbridled joy and excitement in his voice. She couldn’t blame him; it’d been less than half an hour since she’d gotten the news and Hailey still felt like she was floating. The past five days had felt like an eternity but the light at the end of the tunnel could finally be seen.
… … …
The journey to Germany was long, but Hailey and Will arrived just after midnight, just 24 hours after Jay’s arrival at Landstuhl. A car was waiting for them at the airport and took them to a hotel near the hospital—Hailey had no intention of leaving the hospital once she got there but Mark had already made the arrangements.
Visitors weren’t allowed at this time of night, so Hailey resigned to wait a few more hours before she could see her husband again. She decided to take advantage of the hotel room while she was there, taking a long, hot shower to recover from the long day of travel. It had taken them over 18 hours to get from Chicago to Frankfurt and then another 30 minutes to get from the airport to the hotel.
Hailey was exhausted but she knew she wouldn’t get any sleep that night. She was just hours away from seeing Jay again and the excitement alone was enough to keep her awake, but it wasn’t just that. There was the looming fear and uncertainty of what she and Will would see at the hospital that was competing with the excitement for the top spot in her mind. The updates from Mark had been promising, but there was only so much he knew; he wasn’t seeing or treating Jay firsthand, and he wasn’t a doctor.
Stepping into the shower, Hailey turned the water to the hottest setting she could handle. Steam started filling the bathroom and Hailey moved under the stream of water, sighing at the immediate relief in her tight muscles. She took her time, working through her entire shower routine in hopes that more time under the hot water would relax her enough so she could rest.
Whether she slept or not, Hailey wanted to be as rested as she could be once she joined Jay.
… … …
Hailey was running on coffee and adrenaline. Despite how tired she was and the long, hot shower she’d taken, Hailey wasn’t able to relax enough to rest. By the time visiting hours approached she had already had three cups of the strongest coffee she could find.
Her leg bounced anxiously in the back seat of the car, her nerves building as she and Will were driven to the hospital. The scenery passed outside the windows, but Hailey couldn’t even enjoy the sights of a new city—her sole focus was on getting to Jay.
Arriving at Landstuhl, Hailey barely gave the car time to stop before she was hoping out. Will quickly thanked the driver and followed after her, meeting her at the front desk. She had already given the nurse their information, so a visitor’s pass was handed to him.
Another nurse appeared and led them to an elevator, taking them up to the fourth floor. Hailey is vibrating with excitement but instead of heading toward the patient rooms, the nurse leads them towards a small conference room where two men were waiting for them. “Hailey, Will, this is Dr. Alder; he’s been in charge of Jay’s care since he arrived. This is Captain Sillard, he’s one of our social workers and he’ll be here to assist you with anything or any arrangements needed.”
Hailey and Will nodded their understanding. The nurse smiled and left the room, closing the door behind them.
“Please have a seat,” Captain Sillard said, gesturing to the chairs across the table from his own. “Can I get you some water or some coffee maybe?”
Hailey shook her head and took a seat. Will did the same. He could feel the nervous energy radiating off of Hailey and he spoke, trying to lighten the mood. “No thank you, I think she’s had enough coffee today to power this entire hospital.”
Dr. Alder and Captain Sillard smiled, chuckling even as Hailey smacked Will’s chest. His quip worked; Hailey looked at least a little calmer.
“Is everything ok with Jay?” Hailey asked, quietly.
“Everything is fine,” Captain Sillard promised. “We just wanted to have a moment to speak with you about his care and condition before taking you to see him.”
“Ranger Halstead has improved drastically since his arrival a little over a week ago at the base hospital.” Dr. Alder started. “Before arriving here at Landstuhl, he had an operation to remove his spleen followed by another operation the next day to repair a punctured lung and stabilize some broken ribs. He had a skull fracture that caused some swelling in his brain, so they kept him sedated until he was stable enough to transport here.”
“He was also being closely monitored for any additional internal bleeding. Thankfully, keeping him sedated allowed his body to stabilize and no other interventions were needed. He arrived here about 36 hours ago.”
Dr. Alder watched as the people in front of him visibly relaxed a little. He couldn’t imagine how they’d felt the past week, being so far away from their loved one.
“There are some things you need to be aware of though,” the doctor spoke again. “His left arm is broken in two places. They set the breaks at the base hospital and splinted his arm. We took updated X-rays when he arrived to see if his arm was ready to be put in a cast and the x-rays showed that the bones had shifted again. We’d like to go in and repair the breaks surgically, but he’s fighting a mild case of pneumonia and we don’t want to put him under for another surgery until the infection is gone.”
“And there’s no way the bones could heal properly without surgery?” Will asked, his doctor brain kicking in, trying to find a way to help his brother. His brother, who hated needles and surgery and anything involving hospitals.
“We set the bones again after his X-rays and splinted his arm, but our orthopedic surgeon feels that, based on the locations and severity of the breaks, surgery would be his best option.”
Hailey and Will both nodded, though the decision would (and should) ultimately be Jay’s to make.
“Can we see him?” Hailey asked. She knew Jay had been badly injured, Mouse and CAO Ringer had told her as much, but hearing it firsthand at the hospital made it real and all she wanted was to see Jay.
“Soon,” Dr. Alder promised. “There’s one more thing you need to be aware of though. Despite the severity of his head injury, Jay’s cognitive function is wholly unaffected. There are no deficits we’ve seen so far, except for one that was discovered when he woke up at the base hospital: he has no memory of the attack.”
Hailey and Will had two very different reactions. Hailey played shocked on the outside—her phone calls with Mouse had already alerted her to this news, but Will and the others didn’t know about those. Inside, however, she was grateful. Jay’s injuries alone told her the attack was incredibly vicious, she was thankful he wasn’t being plagued by a difficult mental recovery along with his physical recovery.
Will, however, was shocked through and through. He didn’t know what Hailey knew, he only knew what Mark and the notification officers told him—Jay had been badly injured. Since getting the news, Will had imagined Jay getting shot or blown up or injured in a helicopter or Humvee crash but Jay being the victim of a brutal attack never crossed his mind. Hearing the extent of Jay’s injuries, and his experience working in Emergency Medicine in Chicago, Will knew instantly that the attack on Jay was deliberate.
“Jay was attacked?!” Will asked, his voice rising from the shock.
“You weren’t made aware of how Jay was injured?” Dr. Alder asked, confused.
Will shook his head. “No, the notification officers just told us he was injured. They didn’t tell us how, just that an investigation had been opened.”
Will’s mind was racing; he couldn’t believe what he’d been told. His gaze immediately went to Hailey and upon seeing her reaction, some of his shock turned into anger. She was doing a good job of acting the part, but Will knew her. He’d known her for years now, he’s seen how she reacted to news like this. The news they just got? Hailey already knew. Will didn’t know how she already knew that Jay was attacked but she did, and she didn’t tell him.
“Do you know who attacked him?” Hailey questioned. She was proud of the shock she was able to portray in her voice—judging by the faces of Dr. Alder and Captain Sillard, they believed it. In her peripheral, she could see the looks Will was throwing her. Hailey saw the genuine shock on his face and saw how his body tensed when Dr. Alder mentioned the attack. She also saw the way his body language changed when he looked at her and realized she wasn’t as shocked as he was. He might not have known her as well as Jay, but Will knew her enough to know something was up.
“There’s an open investigation,” Captain Sillard stated. “His COs visited him before his transfer to see if he could tell them what happened, but he couldn’t.”
Dr. Alder jumped in. “We’ve done some basic cognitive checks with Jay, but we haven’t been permitted to question him about what happened.”
Captain Sillard took over. “He’ll be interviewed again before he’s transferred back to the states and most likely again there.”
“Apart from the swelling and the skull fracture, there’s no damage to his brain. The hope is that as Jay continues to heal, his memory will come back.”
“And if it doesn’t?” Hailey asked.
“We’ll cross that bridge if it comes to it,” Dr. Alder declared. He checked the time on his watch and stood from his chair, looking at the people in front of him. “In the meantime, Jay should be back in his room from his scans. Are you ready to see him?”
Hailey’s eyes lit up and she quickly stood from her chair. For a moment Will pushed his anger at his sister-in-law (and the situation) aside, choosing instead to focus on finally getting to see his brother.
As soon as he was out of his chair, Dr. Alder and Captain Sillard were leading them through the hallways until they stopped outside of Jay’s hospital room. Before allowing them to enter, Dr. Alder grabbed their attention again. “He’ll most likely still be asleep—we usually bolus his pain meds when we take him for scans. He’s refused the stronger pain meds we’ve offered, so full doses knock him out.”
Will scoffed because that was just like his brother. “Why is he refusing pain meds?”
“He’s not refusing all pain meds, just narcotics unless they are absolutely needed.” Dr. Alder tried to soothe the obviously annoyed brother but his own frustration at his stubborn patient was bleeding through. “Usually at the end of the day because the over-the-counter meds he takes during the day can’t handle his pain levels long term at this point in his recovery.”
“He says he doesn’t like the foggy feeling they give him,” Captain Sillard added quietly. “I think he’s trying to make himself remember what happened.”
He’d been appraised of the situation, given details of the attack and Jay’s resulting injuries, and he couldn’t imagine what the Ranger was going through. Jay had been attacked, beaten almost to death, by someone on the base and he was the only one who would be able to fill in all the blanks. But he couldn’t because he had no memory of it.
Captain Sillard’s words seemed to dissipate some of the frustration the doctor and brother in front of him were feeling. It didn’t go away completely, that was clear by the looks on their faces, but Jay’s choices were in perspective now and they at least understood.
“I understand and I empathize, but him being in constant pain is not helping.” Dr. Alder looked from the Captain to his patient’s family. “He needs to keep his pain under control for him to heal. If you could, encourage him to use his pain pump.”
Will nodded for both of them since Hailey’s focus was on the door or rather, the person behind it. He’d be surprised if she’d heard anything that was said since they arrived at Jay’s room.
Dr. Alder moved to open the door but once again stopped to look at Hailey and Will. “Given Jay’s situation, we’re under strict orders from the CID to not discuss the attack with or around Jay. They don’t want anything tainting or influencing his memory.”
Captain Sillard took over. “If he happens to remember anything about the attack, don’t ask him any questions, don’t tell him anything you know, just tell someone on his care team and they’ll take the next steps.”
Will and Hailey both nodded this time. Hailey especially understood the importance of witness and victim statements in investigations.
With a returned nod Dr. Alder opened the door to Jay’s room, finally allowing Hailey and Will in to see Jay.
Hailey went immediately to Jay’s side, grabbing his hand and bending over to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Her free hand moved to Jay’s hair and she stroked her fingers through the short locks. Will stopped at the foot of Jay’s bed, staring at his brother. As he took in the healing bruises, the splint on his arm, and the machines and monitors surrounding Jay, his anger flared again.
He heard, rather than saw, Dr. Alder and Captain Sillard leave and after turning his head to make sure they were gone, Will turned his attention, and anger, onto Hailey.
“How long?”
Hailey kept her focus on Jay. She knew what Will was asking but she just wanted to focus on her husband. “How long what?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Will sneered. “How long have you known about the attack?”
Turning her head towards Will, Hailey glared at her brother-in-law. She let go of Jay’s hand and moved to the end of the bed, stopping an arms-length away from Will. “You haven’t seen your brother in person in months. We’re visiting him in the hospital. Is this really what you want to do right now?”
“You’re damn right I do!” Will yelled. “You’ve known about the attack this entire time, haven’t you?”
Hailey was quiet for a minute before nodding her head.
Will scoffed. “Of course you did.”
Will started pacing back and forth in front of Jay’s bed. He was like a caged animal, angry and snarling. “You didn’t think to tell me? Didn’t I deserve to know what happened to Jay?”
“I wasn’t even supposed to know Will!” Hailey argued. She knew her brother-in-law well; he wore his heart on his sleeve and he was very protective of those he loved. She’d anticipated his blow-up as soon as Dr. Alder mentioned the attack, but the past week had been the worst time of her life and Hailey was not in the mood to be yelled at. “You think the Army’s going around telling civilians that one of their soldiers was attacked on base? That they can’t keep their own people safe?”
“The person who told me took a big risk to give me answers, a very big risk like a court-martial or dishonorable discharge big. It was someone Jay knows and loves, and I wasn’t going to put his career, his life, at risk by telling anyone else.”
“So I’m just supposed to accept that? Be lied to? I’m his brother!”
“And I’m his wife!” Hailey rebutted.
The two had been so invested in their argument they failed to notice the small movement coming from Jay. It wasn’t until they heard Jay groan that they turned their attention back to him, moving quickly back to surround his hospital bed.
The tension between Hailey and Will was still thick but seeing Jay’s green eyes looking back at them made it all disappear, just for a moment.
… … …
It was about two hours later, after a barrage of conversations and consultations with different doctors and specialists, that Jay and Hailey finally had a moment to themselves.
Will had stepped out to check in with Natalie and Owen, leaving Jay and Hailey alone.
He tugged gently on her hand, bringing Hailey closer until she was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed.
Hailey moved her free hand to cup Jay's face. "You scared the hell out of me."
Jay didn't say anything. He couldn't really, because the whole thing had scared him too. Instead, he turned his head slightly and placed a kiss on Hailey’s palm.
Hailey stroked Jay's cheek with her thumb, the two of them staring at each other and basking in the peace that came with just being together.
Jay had missed Hailey so much and he didn't want to ruin the moment, but something had been bugging him since he'd woken up. He placed another kiss on the inside of Hailey’s wrist before asking her the question that had been on his mind. “Wanna tell me what you and Will were arguing about?”
Hailey sighed and dropped her hand to lightly lay on Jay’s chest, right above his heart. “You heard that, huh?”
“Not all of it, just the last part,” Jay answered. Then, he gave Hailey one of his signature smirks. “Want me to punch him for you?”
Hailey laughed–a true, full belly laugh–for the first time in a long time but shook her head. “We’ll both get over it. It’s just been a rough week, emotions are high.”
That was the understatement of the century. Jay couldn’t begin to imagine what Hailey and Will had been going through the past week.
As much as Hailey’s words rang true, Jay also saw something in her face that told him he wasn’t getting the full story. He nodded anyway, knowing that whatever Hailey wasn’t saying would come out eventually.
#one hell of an amen#army ranger jay halstead au#jay halstead#hailey upton#upstead#army jay au#chicago pd
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An Engineer's Dream
Chair of Your Dreams
A Kalpas x Reader angst fic, chapter 5 below!
“He’s being overdramatic,” Sakura had assured you without even looking up from sharpening her sword.
“You better finish what you started, mechanic,” Kalpas had growled while demolishing a mech.
“Do not allow his uncertainty to cause you to waver,” Aponia had sent just as you were leaving. “We were willing to die to end a Herrscher because that is who we were in life. Now we wish to continue to live and share our knowledge to help rid the future of Honkai.”
That day you left, resolved to come back and continue working to restore the Elysian Realm. In the morning, Kevin was the first one you saw, but before he could open his mouth to demand you leave, he was silenced by an oppressive heat filling the room. In a fight between the two, Kevin would surely beat Kalpas, but not without quite a bit of destruction. For a tense moment, they both stared at one another, waiting for the other to break and back down.
His mask hid it well, but you could tell Kalpas was grinning at the prospect of a fight, whereas his opponent looked less than thrilled with the idea. That withering gaze met yours for a second before Kevin left you both, making his annoyance at the situation clear. Not missing a single beat, you made it up the stairs to the workshop in record time.
Being harassed every time you tried to come work would be a serious issue if not for the other Flame Chasers. Vill-V and Aponia were dead set on stopping Kevin from leaving the computer unless absolutely necessary. When he did, Sakura was distracting him, and Kalpas was at your side in an instant. On more than one occasion, they’d all done their jobs so well you hadn’t even noticed it was happening. Especially when you were already in the battlegrounds, it seemed as though there was no change.
It had taken quite some time, but Kalpas had finally carved out the smallest possible space in his heart for you and proudly declared that you were ‘tolerable.’ Sakura had laughed at both the announcement and your frown, only waving you off when you tried to ask what she was laughing about. What was really funny to her was the fact that she seemed to be the only one who notice dhow much Kalpas cared about you. He’d hold your hand while stepping through the doors on trial runs (to not get separated, of course) or talk to you while you worked (because he was bored, not because he liked speaking to you, obviously).
Without even touching on how determined he was to defend you from Kevin, Sakura could list at least a dozen times her friend had gone out of his way to ensure your comfort. From the time he’d let you use him as a pillow to the way he held back during fights so he wouldn’t destroy your work; she knew he wouldn’t realize it, but surely you would?
The confusion on your face said otherwise .
At least to Sakura. You knew what was going on, you just weren’t sure what exactly you should do about it. Dating the simulation of a guy who lived an era ago and now stayed in the basement of some secret evil lair…that’s not exactly something you want to explain to your parents. Kalpas was nice, sure, but his version of acting nice was going longer than five minutes without shouting. He seemed a lot more interested in breaking everything in sight than dating. That was another part of your concern.
Maybe he really just wanted you to get the repairs done and you were entirely misreading the situation. At least until you were sure that wasn’t his aim, you refused to make any sort of move. So you waited. More and more signs popped up making you think Kalpas might be interested, but you purposefully turned a blind eye.
When Su arrived, the guard on you doubled. Not because he hurt you, no, Kalpas was jealous. Su was the first Flame Chaser who really seemed to want to talk to you, and you were sure to take advantage of it. Sakura would give you straight answers about the Elysian Realm, but at the end of the day, she wasn’t one to sit around and chat. Su, very much so, was.
He told you about life in the previous era, told stories that made the people from that time seem alive. Whether it was Kevin actually smiling, or the pain they all felt when losing a friend, the tales held so much emotion and detail that you found yourself smiling and crying along. Su was fine with Kalpas joining the tea parties—Su made some lovely jasmine tea—but it was rare that the invitation was accepted.
The one time the three of you sat together ended with the table flipped over, and if Su wasn’t a sim, he’d be burnt to a crisp. Telling Kalpas he didn’t need to stay wouldn’t work either, he’d only insist that you didn’t need to stay either and drag you off. So while Aponia and Vill-V may not be trapping Su in the computer, a certain hothead was constantly there to shoo him away.
Things went slightly better with Mobius. For the most part it was you doing the shooing, declining her proposals with kind words said through gritted teeth. Each Flame Chaser you’d met made it clear you shouldn’t agree to be a part of Dr. Mobius’ experiments, Kevin included. Aside from that, dealing with her was your problem. After shooting the doctor down a few dozen times, she seemed to finally get the message and only bothered you about repairs to her lab. Once she realized Klein was gone and you were much more willing to sabotage her equipment out of spite, you were treated with a little more respect.
Eden arrived shortly after you completed the battlegrounds. Kalpas had easily spent a whole day in there, and you were taking a break from working. Seeing no one else around, you grabbed one of the bottles of wine from behind the bar in the lounge. While you were looking for a corkscrew, someone cleared their throat behind you, causing you to jump and hit your head on the shelf. All the bottles rattled in place, but luckily none of them fell while you spun around and sheepishly met the lazy smile of a new sim.
“Won’t you pour some for me as well?” she asked, providing her own cup that was easily worth your entire paycheck. For a moment you just continued staring at the woman in front of you, wine completely forgotten. She was beautiful, that much was apparent, but what was also apparent was the fact that she was already drunk.
“Actually, can we do a bottle of rosé instead? To celebrate the return of the Elysian Realm.” When she pointed behind you, you got into motion and quickly found the bottle opener with her guidance. You barely got through your first glass by the time the bottle was empty. Even with her excessive drinking, Eden managed to introduce herself and explain her role in the Fire Moth.
By bottle six, you were learning about every venue she had performed in (all of them) and eagerly looking for a way out of the conversation. When Kalpas came from the trial doors, you nearly cried. He was still half on fire, breathing heavily, and you were extremely grateful sims didn’t sweat, but he was there, and as soon as his eyes met yours, he was crossing the room. In seconds he was by your side, and shortly after, Eden ceased rambling. She gave him another lazy smile that crinkled her eyes, and if she weren’t so out of it, you might even think she looked pretty.
When the wine glass was taken from her, she didn’t resist at all, her expression only changing when she looked to her hand and found it empty. The confusion was only momentary, Eden got over the loss rather quickly, and even Kalpas angrily telling her to ‘lay off the juice’ couldn’t get rid of the smile on her face. With nothing else to do now, the diva stumbled over to the couch—while still looking graceful the entire time—and passed out.
With the ‘threat’ now dealt with, Kalpas saw no reason to stay, so he began making his way towards the trials. Quickly slipping off your stool, you were able to catch up with him; and when he noticed you next to him, he stopped to give you a harsh look.
“So. What do you think of the fights?” you laughed nervously. Truthfully, you had no idea how to have this conversation, but now that the battlegrounds were finished, you had to ask. Apparently Kalpas didn’t know how to have this conversation either because his only response was him shifting his weight to one hip. “I’m surprised to see you come out, honestly.”
More silence. The air in the room was stifling and you couldn’t tell if it was Kalpas making it hot, or if you were just that nervous.
“What do you want?” he finally shattered the tension.
“I’m just asking—”
“Quit stalling and just say it.” The words were no more angry than usual, but the whole situation had you one edge and you just wanted it to be over.
“Do you like me?”
“The hell kinda question is that?” Kalpas spoke without missing a beat, not giving you a chance to cringe at your own choice of words. Now, however, you weren’t sure if you were angry or hurt, but you were some sort of upset and it caused your words to come out sharper.
“The kind of question I want an answer to. I wouldn’t ask it otherwise.”
There was a grumble, and he shifted his weight to the other hip, clearly over whatever what going on right now. “Of course I fucking like you,” then he walked off. You could hear him muttering for the two seconds it took you to process what he said.
“Wait, wait, wait.” You caught up to him again. “Can we like, talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?” Kalpas was clearly annoyed about you standing between him and a fight, his voice had more of a growl to it, but you held your ground. “You asked me a question. I answered.”
“Yeah, but I like you too,” you desperately hoped he would catch on, but it was wishful thinking.
“So?”
“Soooo are you interested in dating or not?”
“Sure.”
And then he shrugged and walked away.
You spent the rest of the day replaying the scene in your head, now somehow more confused about his feeling towards you. ‘Sure’? What did that mean?! Was he just trying to get you to leave him alone, or was he actually interested? Even if you had managed to scrounge up enough courage to confront him again, Kalpas never came out to give you the chance.
Part of you didn’t want to go back the next day, anxious about what would happen. Seeing the very man you were anxious about first thing did not help. He was in the lounge with Sakura, who waved you over. No amount of praying seemed to convince Kevin to appear and kill you where you stood. Each step felt like it lasted forever and Kalpas’ eyes burning into you the whole way didn’t help. When you stopped, he tilted his head like he was raising an eyebrow.
All he said was a sharp ‘hey’ and then he jerked his chin up, wanting you to come closer. Figuring he expected you to sit on the couch with him—and wanting to do literally anything but that—you moved closer. And then, in the span of about two seconds, several things happened. Kalpas grabbed your wrist, yanking you towards him. Understandably, you yelped as you fell forward, but before you could register your face in his chest, he had manhandled you into sitting properly on his lap.
This was both good and bad. On the one hand, you were in Kalpas’ lap, a situation that had only ever happened in your daydreams. On the other hand, you were on Kalpas’ lap…if Sakura didn’t make fun of how tense you looked now, she was sure to later. Again, you were moved, much more gently this time, as he pulled you to lean against him rather than sitting up perfectly straight. You could feel his rapid heartbeat behind you, but his chest rose with steady breaths, and though it took some time, you eventually relaxed. Sakura acted as though this was completely normal the whole time, and you knew you were in for some teasing later on, but for right now, this was nice.
One day I'll manage to write something where Reader isn't dense I swear
also sorry if the spacing on this chapter was weird, I think I wrote it on a different program and it copied over funky
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this love
Intelligence thought they were dealing with a small drug operation within the limits of their own city, until their wires got crossed with the Feds. And with the Feds an old friend has come back into town, trying to repair old wounds.
A/N: We are nearing the end of this story, with one more chapter. Possibly two because, you know, things change as I write and I think one more might be necessary. There's a small change with this chapter at the end, a slight different POV for just a minute. You'll see it when you get there. I felt like it was a needed moment in the story, so sorry for the change.
Previously in Chapter 4
this love on ao3
“Hailey, second message…. I saw you called me but you didn’t leave a voicemail. Call me back when you get this, I love you.” He ends the voicemail and looks up from his desk to see Trudy standing over him. “What’s up, Sarge?”
“What have you been up to the last few hours?” She asks casually checking the watch on her wrist.
“I’ve been in interrogation for the past few hours… We picked up some low level dealers and we were trying to get the names of some of the suppliers.” He can feel the small edge in her voice and his detective senses are starting to go off, something doesn’t feel right. “Why?”
“Listen… Don’t freak out…” She starts, but his gut was right, something was definitely wrong.
“Trudy.” He nearly pleads.
“It’s Hailey, alright. All I know was when they were out on surveillance they saw someone watching their car. She radioed in for help and I sent Adam and Kevin to go help them… But by the time they got there, gunfire had been exchanged. She’s awake and at Med getting treated. That’s all I know.”
He doesn’t say a word but gives her a nod, reaches for his truck key, and finds himself running down the stairs of the district.
________________________________
The roar of the engine is the only sound he hears as he drives down the streets of Chicago. It’s dark, a cooler summer night and he sees people on the street- walking their dogs, holding hands with their partner, sitting at restaurants drinking a glass of red wine.
The things he wants to do with Hailey- they haven’t had the time yet.
He hits a light and curses under his breath, feeling the vibration of his phone in his pocket.
“Halstead,” He answers sharply.
“Halstead, this is Dr. Halstead…” Will sarcastically replies.
He doesn’t miss a beat or give any banter back, “How bad is it?”
His brother must hear the panic and fear in his voice, “Calm down, Jay.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down, all I know was that Hailey was shot hours ago and I am just now finding out about it. She’s my wife, Will, don’t make me ask you again.”
“I’m sorry man, I didn’t know you didn’t know. But it was a through and through, in her abdomen. I would have taken care of her myself, but seeing as we’re family now, I wasn’t allowed to treat her. I did stay in the room, with her permission.”
“And?” He asks, he knows there’s more that Will wants to tell him.
“It was cleaned out, she is getting stitched up as we speak. Minor internal damage, but she doesn’t need surgery to fix any of it. She’ll need to take it easy for the next week, and come back for an MRI in ten days to make sure the internal stuff is healing and that there is no infection. Dr. Marcel treated her, she’s on some antibiotics for preventative measures.”
“Thank god.” He breathes under his breath.
“How far out are you?” Will asks him.
“Ten minutes- I’m pulling police privilege and double parking outside the ED.” Jay says, mostly to himself because he can’t imagine wasting five or ten more minutes trying to find a parking spot.
“I figured you would- I already warned security, not that I really need to because you’re a cop…”
“Thanks man,” He takes a breath as he turns the corner, “And how is Erin?”
“Some bruised ribs, concussion from hitting the concrete. You know I shouldn’t be telling you any of this, but more or less she got out cut free. And listen, Jay, I know you’re still bitter about things with her, but stay calm when you’re here, ok? Hailey is alright…”
“I will. See you soon.” He hangs up the phone, turning on the lights of the truck, not wasting another second.
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It’s cold when he enters the ED and he immediately remembers why he hates this place. The dull lighting, the sterile smells, the doctors, the needles.
He sees Will standing at the nurses station with two cups of coffee in his hand. “Here you go, bro… You look like you need it.”
Jay shakes his head in response, taking the cup from his hand. “Where is she?”
“This way.” Will says gesturing for his brother to follow him.
As they round the corner, a flash of familiar brunette hair stops him.
“Jay.” Erin says, matter of factly.
“Erin,” He says curtly, because he wants to be mad, angry, and upset at her. He wants to be so many things. She walked away unscathed, and it was his wife, Hailey- his partner- was the one who took the bullet. And Hailey, she doesn’t deserve that.
“One hell of a partner you got there,” Erin says, signing a piece of paper. “She’s tough, just like you.”
“She is,” is all that he can seem to muster.
“Listen,” Erin says, placing the pen on the counter. “It was inevitable, we were waiting for Ruz and Kev to show up, but it all happened so fast. Hailey saw the car first and knocked me to the ground to get out the line of fire. I’d probably be dead or hooked up to a ventilator if it weren’t for her, okay?”
“Erin…”
“I’m just saying, I owe her my life, Jay. Show her a little grace, she was just doing her job. You would have done the same thing, even if it were me… And she’d be the one coming to you like this.”
“I’m glad you’re okay, Erin…” Jay says but hears his wife’s voice in the distance.
“Go.” Erin says, pointing to a curtain a few feet away.
“Yeah this way,” Will steers him towards the curtain, “I’ll check in on you two in a bit.”
Will pulls the curtain and he sees her blonde, erratic hair covering her face as she’s reading some paperwork.
“Hailey Anne Upton.” Jay breathes, half in relief, half in frustration.
She laughs at him, handing the nurse a five dollar bill.
“I told you.”
He walks in, stands at the foot of the bed and raises an eyebrow at her.
“You are right,” The nurse smiles, taking the paperwork from Hailey’s hands. “Attractive, protective, and one hell of an ass…. You sure did score.”
“I did.” Hailey muses making eye contact with him.
He stands his ground, staying at the foot of the bed and crosses his arms, eying his wife who is in a hospital gown.
“I’m fine.” She says, almost nonchalantly, trying to reach for her go bag on the bed.
“Hailey…”
“You know it’s nice to see you on the receiving end of this kind of news. Seeing as I’ve seen you in here because you’ve been shot on me… Twice now.” She laughs, but the movement causes her to wince a little and hold her stomach.
“I told you laughing would hurt,” The nurse says. “I’ve got your discharge paperwork all ready, once you change and talk with him, I’ll come back and we’ll get you out of here.”
The nurse leaves the room and it’s finally just the two of them.
‘Why didn’t you call me?” He asks, rounding the bed and sitting by her feet.
“Because I know how you would be, Jay. Look at you.”
“Of course I am like this, you got shot.”
“It was a through and through, okay. I passed out on the concrete because it hurt like a bitch, but once I got here I realized it wasn’t that bad. I wanted to save you a few minutes of panic and heartache.”
“Well hearing the news from Platt, it was a little more shell shock than I would have thought.”
“I was going to call you once I was in the car, I passed out from the initial blood loss, Erin thought it was worse than it was… How is she by the way?”
“She’s fine, getting discharged as we speak. She’s got some bruised ribs and a mild concussion.”
“Jay….”
He stands watching his wife try and put on her shirt from her go bag, but struggling to lift her arm up.
“Let me help you,” he walks across the bed and grabs the shirt from her bag, noting the familiar button down. That’s my shirt.”
“It looks better on me.” Hailey smiles as she turns around.
He reaches for the ties on the hospital gown and gently pulls them undone. His hands are ice cold because he hates hospitals, but he hates them even more when Hailey is the patient.
“Your hands are ice-cold,” She notes, turning around. They’re face to face now and she can see the worry in his eyes. “Help me pull this off.”
He nods at her, but takes his pointer finger and runs it over the base of her jaw, staring at her intently. He knows her body, knows how there is one small freckle on the left side of her neck just under her ear; knows the scar on the back of right knee is from an accident when she was wrestling with her brothers when they were kids, knows how her left pointer finger has a scar from a fight with an offender during her rookie year when they almost got her service weapon… Now she has her own bullet scar to match his own. It’s a scar he’d never want her to have to live with.
She can sense his hesitation in wanting to take the gown off, not wanting to have to picture her with gauze and bandages. “Hey,” she stands on her tiptoes and kisses the base of his jaw. “Listen, if it were that bad, you would have been called.. You’re my emergency contact and Will would have called you. I told him not to because I was awake and coherent and could consent to treatment.”
“I should have been there, Hailey.” It’s all he can respond to her, because he feels guilty. She’s his partner- his wife- he promised to be there for her in sickness and in health, and promised to protect her with his body if it came down to it. Not that she couldn’t hold her own, because his wife most definitely could, but still he should have been there.
“There’s the Jay Halstead guilt I was waiting for,” She laughs as she slowly reaches her arms out towards him. “Help me with this please.”
He laughs at that, because damn, she knows him. Slowly, he bends down a bit, and reaches for the shoulders on the gown and pulls them down slowly, letting the gown fall to the floor. He unbuttons his flannel, throwing it over her arms and pulling it around her chest. He starts to button the shirt, his fingers warming thanks to her excessive body heat. He’s halfway up the shirt when he feels her fingers under his chin, tilting his head up towards her gaze.
“You know I love you, right? That I promise to do my best to come home to you every day.” Her words are quiet, and tears fill her eyes.
“I love you, too, Hailey. And I promise my damn hardest to always come home to you, too.” He stands upright again, finishing the buttons on the shirt, ignoring the gauze and bandages because they’ll be there tomorrow, right now all he needs is her. “But for the love of god, we’re not allowed to separate anymore, we stick together, for my own sanity, I beg of you.”
“Best partner I’ve ever had is you, in all arenas- personal, professional, even sexually. You’re pretty good in bed Halstead.” She laughs and reaches for the sweatpants in her bag, looking at him for help.
He rolls his eyes at her because she’s just trying to make him feel better, and damn her because it’s working. He squats to the ground, giving her his shoulder for balance as she steps into each leg of the sweatpants. He pulls them up to her waist and gives her a small kiss on her hip.
“Too bad sex is probably off the table for a little bit.”
“Uhhh, yeah…. But we can do other things.” She gives him a wink as she sits on the bed. “A little help with the shoes?”
“Yes,” He laughs at her, “I never thought I’d tie your shoes until you were massively pregnant one day, but there’s a first time for everything.”
“You and me both.” She agrees, “First time for everything, though. Let’s get my boots back on and take me home, Jay.”
“That I can do.”
________________________________
Erin Lindsay wanted to stop by Hailey’s room and thank her, again, for saving her life.
As her hand reached the curtain to announce her arrival, she heard Hailey’s voice in the room and Jay’s sigh in response.
“There’s the Jay Halstead guilt I was waiting for, help me with this please. ”
She knows they are talking, a husband and wife moment, a partner moment, but for some reason she stands outside the curtain and listens into their conversation just a bit more as Hailey speaks again.
“You know I love you, right? That I promise to do my best to come home to you every day.”
“I love you, too, Hailey. And I promise my damn hardest to always come home to you, too. But for the love of god, we’re not allowed to separate anymore, we stick together, for my own sanity, I beg of you.”
“Best partner I’ve ever had is you, in all arenas- personal, professional, even sexually. You’re pretty good in bed Halstead.”
She releases her hold on the curtain because she’s heard enough- she knows they’re good for each other.
She saw it in the way Jay looked at Hailey, she experienced it in the car when Hailey told her Jay had learned to keep snacks in the car for her.
She could hear it in the way they just whispered, I love you to one another.
She turns on her heels, because another thank you can wait until tomorrow.
Tonight, Jay and Hailey need each other. She thinks back to emptying her and Jay's apartment, her choice in not telling him what was going on back then. They're both older and wiser now, and she's grown just like him. Her wounds are closing, she's healing in her own time. But tonight, she's glad to see he's healed- found someone to take half of the weight of the world that they live in. She prays one day, she'll be able to have what they have.
#Upstead#Jay Halstead#Hailey Upton#Jay x Hailey#Chicago PD#One Chicago#CPD#Upstead fanfiction#upstead fanfic#chicago pd fanfic#chicago pd fanfiction#myfic!#story: this love
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Hello? Hi, I’m Steven. Buddwick said you were looking for me. Welcome to heaven, and congratulations on finding your way here! I know it’s not easy. Don’t worry, you’ll be allowed to leave after we’ve talked. It is not your time to stay, little one.
Let’s sit down on that patch of moss beneath the willow tree. The sun can grow quite hot here, enough to scorch dark skin, but the moss will keep us cool. Are you comfortable? Good. We shouldn’t be disturbed here. Most of the people here will have found their own sunning places by now.
So, you’d like to know about Connie and Geode, would you? Well, Connie is the president, and Geode is her husband. Connie was just an ordinary girl when I first met her, riding her bike and wearing big glasses⎯
What? You know this already? So why⎯ Ah. I get it. You want to know what I think of Connie and Geode, don’t you? Okay. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t know why you’re interested—everyone in heaven knows how I feel about the current president, but they’re too polite to say anything. After all, I’m just a kid, and she is an adult.
And of course, I’m in heaven now, while Connie is still very much alive, with a few years yet to live. She has a husband, too, who has given her two girls and stayed by her side all through the Great Journey and never stopped loving her, not even when it looked as if humanity would not survive in their new home. Perhaps you think I should have gotten over her by now, that I should have given up long ago and accepted that we could only ever be friends? I can tell by the way your eyes have narrowed that this is exactly what you think. But like everyone here, you’re too kind to say anything. Do you think I don’t know how hopeless this is? Do you think I still hope that she’ll be mine one day, that somehow I’ll stop being a kid and Geode will vanish like the dew, and everybody will forget that we should never have been together?
I’m sorry, you asked an honest question and it’s only fair I should give you an honest answer without getting mad. The truth is, I love Connie now as much as I ever did, and I’ll watch over her forever, knowing that she can never be mine. She belongs to Geode. But my heart is hers, and always will be. It wasn’t love at first sight, you know. When we first met, it was at a boardwalk parade. I saw her drop her bracelet and decided to keep it in my freezer so I could return it the next time I saw her. When I gave it back to her, she recognized me from the parade, and we became fast friends after I saved her from a rockfall and a corrupted gem, though we both felt that what was between us could be more than just a friendship, even if I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly our relationship could develop into.
The first time we showed any feelings for each other was our first picnic together, when Connie asked how I was doing. I tried to act like nothing was wrong when Amethyst had nearly died and I hadn’t been able to heal her. She could see my fear that I would never be good enough for the Crystal Gems through my façade, and that was when we inadvertently discovered that I did have healing powers after she swallowed my spit in the juice we shared. Since then, she’d been able to break through my facades to get me to admit how I actually felt whenever something troubled me. I guess we would have never been able to fuse if she couldn’t do that.
After our first time fusing, we had been on so many adventures together, from training with Pearl and Amethyst to hunting corrupted gems. My favorite adventure with her was not saving the world from White Diamond, but racing with Kevin. It was the least dangerous one we both undertook, and I needed a change of pace after all that fighting. And with each adventure, our love for each other grew, and it almost always felt like nothing could get in the way of our special relationship. Of course, weeks before my death, I prematurely proposed to her, afraid that she would unknowingly abandon me like my other friends had seemingly but not actually done when I needed their reassurance and support the most. It only created a wedge between us, and since then my powers had gotten more dangerous and harder to control until it was too late for her to save me from them.
When I turned into a corrupted gem and had my throat slit by Cherry Quartz to stop me from destroying Little Homeworld further, I stayed on the hill for a day, wishing Connie could see my spirit during my impromptu funeral. I know it’s not her fault she had no idea I was struggling, but I should not have died then!
Even if I always had to be a kid, cut off from Connie by an age gap in the most meaningful ways, I could have walked beside her as she became a politician, and then candidate and president. Instead, I was condemned to watch her from far away, not always clearly, like gazing at fish flitting at the bottom of a pool. Sometimes ripples hid her from me, and I would pace in heaven night after night, searching for her. When I found her again, things would be different; she would have seen things, done things without me knowing, and it was like meeting a stranger for the first time. But I never stopped watching, never gave up on trying to help her. I walked with her in her dreams, shared her fears, guided her with all the knowledge that being in heaven gave me. I know how much she looked forward to seeing me, how glad she was to see me. Can you imagine how much that hurts, to be closer to her now that I am in heaven than we were when I was alive?
After one of those moonless nights, Geode was her husband, and I knew that the invisible river between us had grown too wide to leap across. Did you know that she once came looking for me in a dream, sought me out to explain that she had to move on and that she couldn’t be in love with a memory anymore? I am not a memory! I wanted to cry out. I am here, I still love you. I will walk beside you forever. But what is that compared with the warmth that Geode can offer her, the solid presence of a husband to help her lead her country, to give her beautiful children and watch their kin grow up together? I will still be young when Connie grows old, but Geode will match her step for step, reflecting her graying hair and slowing feet like a pool of clear water. Does Connie love Geode? Oh yes, I have no doubt about that. Geode is a good husband to her; anybody can see how much he loves her, how much he believes in her as president of the United States. Their daughters are wonderful people, and I love them as if they were my own. Stanley has a special destiny, just like her mother did, and it is an honor to be able to walk in her dreams and guide her. But sometimes I can’t help wishing that I was her father instead, standing side by side with Connie to watch her grow. I will do everything I can to make sure that no harm comes to her, or to her sister, Jessica, until the time is right for them to join me here.
Look, the shadows are lengthening, it’s time for you to go. Jenny will show you to the border. Jenny, come here, please! Thank you for visiting. I hope I’ve told you what you wanted to hear—and if I haven’t, then perhaps it’s best to say nothing of our conversation. Especially not to Connie! The truth is that she and Geode are happy, which is all that matters. I could wish and wish for things to be different, but they aren’t, and never will be. I would not change a single heartbeat of my life, nor all the time since, if it meant losing a moment of Connie’s friendship.
Now, go well, and may heaven walk your path always.
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Realized I never posted this, which is an annoyance because today's fic is getting posted and is directly related to it.
There's two versions of the 'Mike under house arrest' au, this is the start of the second one.
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Morningstar’s cell was, well as bare as any other cell in the base. They were better than the ones in Incarcecon had been, but at least those you’d been able to leave regularly. When they approached it was to find him curled up on the top bunk with a book, the stack more he’d been allowed so far arranged neatly on the bottom one. The cells on all sides of him were empty.
“Darkstar,” Ben greeted him. He continued to ignore them. “Darkstar.”
“Hm?” Morningstar looked down at them like he’d only just realized they were there, a false smile on his face. If nothing else he was looking better, his hair was growing back in the right color, he was filling back out. Still looked like he’d crawled out of a grave, but sooner now. “Ben. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Well, no ‘lovely Gwendolyn’ was a step up.
“We’re putting together an emergency team again-” Though, Kevin couldn’t help but notice that there were bitemarks on about every surface. With all the metal involved it solidified his earlier guesses that he had super strength, but he’d never seen the healthier prisoners chew on anything. “-we could use more power.”
“Oh?” Shutting his book, Morningstar crossed his arms over his knees and leaned forward, smile taking on a sharp, smirking edge. A far cry from the surveillance videos Rook had shown them, where he was tense, short-tempered, pacing, despite withdrawal having to have passed ages ago. Curling up by the doors at night. “And what’s in it for me?”
Argit used to sleep curled against the bars of his cage.
“Take a-”
“House arrest,” Kevin cut in, half before his own thoughts could fully form. The others whipped their heads in his direction as he stepped forward, eyes wide and mouths twisting.
“Kevin-”
“Assuming this works and you don’t fuck us over,” he added, ignoring them. The smile slipped off Morningstar’s face. He uncurled himself, dropping his legs off the edge of the bunk.
“You have my attention.” Even as the others’ shock turned to anger- the plan had been to offer time off his sentence, maybe a place at the Plumber Academy if he played hardball- Kevin was turning numbers over in his head. Lucky he had that taydanite supply, because no way was he going to get Max to sign off on Plumbers funds for this.
“You’d still be heavily monitored, and we’re talking one bedroom one bath, no leaving the property, no staff, but you’d have free roam up to the property line.”
“And what sort of property are we talking,” Morningstar asked, leaning forward. They made eye contact, blue to brown, and held it.
“That depends,” Kevin said, tempering his emotions as a former inmate with his responsibility to make sure nobody got hurt here. “Willing to take your requests into account, as long as they’re reasonable. Not giving you twenty acres or anything like that, and the more specific you get the longer you’re gonna have to wait here for it, but…”
He could easily get a good security system in place, put the fucker somewhere without a lot of people, monitor communications as well as whenever somebody entered or left the property... He’d rather not spend more than he had to, but this was important. They needed the help and he could tell somebody prison was going to fuck up when he saw them. Between being bagged by Charmcaster and dealing with Incarcecon himself, was it really a surprise the fucker wasn’t taking well to captivity?
With a dark bronze glow, Morningstar slipped off the bunk, feet touching the ground directly in front of Kevin. Were it not for the door he’d have probably been able to feel his breath.
“I want a proper bathtub,” he said. Snorting, Kevin smirked despite himself. That was something he could relate to directly.
“Pretty sure I can make that work.” Morningstar smiled again at that- an honest smile, though still sharp- and stepped back from the door with a micro bow.
“Then I’m at your service, Levin.”
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Old Story #3
Sixty Minuets to Turner from Kent
Dedicated to my dear friend Nichalos "Diva" Turner (2004 - 2021).
The bell chimed. In just six minutes, my childhood romance commenced. In six hours, it ended, and with it came one of the best friends I would ever come to know. Still, the chimes of the bell and clicking sputter of his weight against my bike turned to wedding bells and Just Married cans in my mind. My lips puckered against the wind, and I frowned as he teetered too far forward over the handlebars. Nonetheless, with the new momentum, he sped up and managed to restore his balance against a new environment.
“I told you to wear a helmet!” I snarked, motioning to the helmet I had tucked beneath my elbow.
In glancing at me, my nagging had become ever more needed as he let out words even now I wouldn’t dare to repeat and slammed his feet into the gravel. In protest, the wheels churned against the rock, flailing to one side as he went to the other. The last time I rode on the vacant lot across from my house, I had skinned my knees, but as the bike clattered, he stood beside it, hardly fazed and never leaving his feet. Looking both ways briefly, I quickly made my way over to him. “Fine, just give it to me.”
He took the helmet from me roughly and tossed it upon his head without adjusting the inner rivets to fit his rounder skull or even buckling the strap. Too girly for Nick wasn’t my pink bike, glistening ribbons flying free from the handlebars, or the magenta swirled helmet he refused to wear till then; too girly for him was the idea of protecting the last couple of brain cells still living inside of his skull. “That’s useless, you know!” He didn’t answer. Instead, he remounted my bike, clinked the bell a couple of bells a few times to ensure that it still worked, and sped off again.
Quickly, then more slowly, he disappeared into the grassy clearing between mine and my neighbor’s house. He began to whirl around in an oval, as big as the small area would allow, shouting back to me in his highest pitched voice. “Imma’ pretty p’incess!”.
He was nothing more than a diva, I told him.
---
In the over six years I knew him, from Kent to Turner, Nick never stopped me from calling him so. “Diva,” I bellowed from across the middle school gymnasium, “hold up, would yah?” Ten feet in front of me, he rounded the corner of the basketball court, walking with the girl who wasn’t me. For six months, we were in the same gym class. Two had grown to four, including his girlfriend and the boy who was never more than a friend to me. Even if everyone else insisted we had to be something more.
Eight feet in front of me, he walked with Tia; Two feet behind me, Kevin walked where I had left him behind, and he hadn’t bothered to catch up.
For the same reason, I always got along with boys better than girls and was never interested in dating. At the start of our relationship, I was his best friend’s sister, then a crush, and then the girl who got away. And so– he dated Tia for six weeks until she traded for Kevin, and they were no longer friends, and I was still loyal to him– again, it was him and me.
---
Despite going from two to four and to two again, I was the first of us to leave. I haven’t seen Kevin since I moved. The last time I saw Tia was when I glanced out the window, and she was picking up trash off the side of the road with the rest of the students who lived in a trailer park next door to a field of weed. Nick went from Kent to Diva to Turner and to Diva again, but he wasn’t the type who wanted things to change– to grow up.
In moving, I knew it would be a struggle to keep in touch with the friends I had left behind, but I knew Nick would always be in my corner. If I hadn’t seen him for sixty years, it wouldn’t matter. Age seventy-four and crippled, I’d see him at a Walmart, yelling at an empty checkout as if someone was there and sipping on a jug of forget-me-juice. I would holler “Diva!” and despite how much time had passed and despite his impaired state, he would turn around immediately. My grandchildren would be confused by my immature display and why I would ever embrace such a weird man, but it wouldn’t matter. I would release him only long enough to smack my hand over the bell, making our wait from six minutes to six seconds, as if getting out of said store ever so much faster could restore that past sixty years apart.
I should have known, though, that divas are selfish enough to not want to be hurt. When I left, I had hurt him, as his mother had in choosing an abusive boyfriend over him and his brother and being passed around through several foster parents for far too long before settling down in a family who cared more about a stolen car than missing sons.
The story started, like most things get around nowadays, with social news and cheap media. It had been a plan six months in the making, sixty minutes to complete. It was a pact between two brothers, not involving me to remind him of his helmet, to end the lives that had handed them so much hurt. Criminals. Two troubled teens stole their adoptive father’s car and a gun before running away, hiding in the woods. They planned to blow out the rest of their brain cells, not taken by not wearing a helmet but only going through with it. Nick was dead, and Nathan didn’t report the body. He was arrested for not reporting a body and theft.
Our part of the story picked back up when I was on my way to school, sitting on the bus and scrolling through Instagram. It had to be a cruel joke. Tia’s you’ll be missed, Kevin’s simple R.I.P, and every other person’s claim to knowing him as well I did.
They knew him as the boy who collected everyone’s free hot dog tickets on our eighth-grade field trip and brought them back, standing like a pyramid in his arms and handing them out even though it was raining. He was their entertainment but not their friend. He was my brother’s childhood best friend. He was a brother, a son. He was Tyra’s boyfriend. He was my diva.
The more I read, the more I felt like I couldn’t stop reading. My only mobile appendage was my thumb, up and down. I was voiceless, but all my other senses had peaked. I could hear the worry of those surrounding me, my eyes could flicker over the screen, I could look to see them, but I couldn’t move to make it stop. I couldn’t toss my phone or look away. Six minutes, if that. All I could do was let my new reality come to fruition: Diva was dead.
Driving with my windows down far stretches of street, I always find myself singing aloud to someone I didn’t think I’d see for another sixty years. I sing, and then I call out to him aloud.
“Hi, Diva,” I say. It never feels quite right at first. “Hey Nicky, it’s been a while,” I try again, “I haven’t found anything else about your brother other than that he is Juvey. I know it’s awful, but I suppose that’s where he is safest now. Then, at eighteen, he can get away from all those people who keep hurting him.
And I will continue giving Diva a lovely display of the life I could have told him about in sixty years. Driving out and away from my childhood home- cans clicking Just Married with someone, not him– then making children with the parents and the futures I wish he would have had.
#personal narrative#short story#suicide pact#names changed for privacy#dedication#in loving memory#creative writing course
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