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#and its something we've laughed over our whole lives
crazywolf828 · 2 years
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I think the funniest thing is that when my mom was pregnant the doctor thought I was a boy from my ultrasound, and now I wear a packer. BUT even better than that the doctor thought that my trans older sister was a girl from the ultrasound.
That doctor was bad at his job but damn if he didn't predict the future
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AITA for being too close to my childhood best friend?
(This is so long I'm so sorry, there's just a fair bit of info.)
Me (22F) and Jake (23F) grew up together. Our mothers were friends for years and got pregnant around the same time, and we've basically been side by side our whole lives. We consider each other platonic soulmates and siblings.
Jake has had a girlfriend (Lucy, 23F) for the last seven months. I really like Lucy, she's so funny, so interesting, and she clearly makes Jake happy. There's been one or two awkward moments between us, but its never been anything that lingered or caused problems.
Now I know how people generally act/think about "the girl best friend" so when Jake said he was thinking of asking Lucy out, I made sure to back off a bit. Instead of having a brate (bro date, just hanging out doing something like bowling, Maccas, movie theatre, ect) once a week I said we should have one once a month, I don't call him just to hang on the phone together anymore, I make sure to not message at all on the days I know they have dates planned, ect.
I've really, really done my best to not get in the way, to make sure Lucy knows he really is just my brother, and I've tried to give them both space as someone who is not involved in their relationship.
I thought I was doing really well because its never really come up until this week. It was Jake and I's brate day and we decided to go to the mall so I could shop for clothes and he could get the slushies he likes there. Lucy knew where we'd be, and "happened" to show up, which was fine. Like I said, I like hanging out with her, and I actually thought it was cool I could get another girl's opinion on my outfit.
Jake decided to try on some clothes too while he was there and it turned into something of a mini fashion show of both of us showing off our possible choices. Lucy seemed to alternate between really having fun and going quiet. She refused to try on any herself but grinning and laughing while Jake and I were, and while we were taking turns playfully hyping each other up.
Jake tried on a pair of jeans and I was teasing him and said "damn dude, look at all that ass" trying to make him embarrassed. This was when Lucy muttered something I didn't quite hear, and politely suggested I should leave. Both Jake and I were really confused and taken aback and Lucy kind of shrugged and said things like this were things couples should do, and it was really inappropriate of me to make a sexual comment about her boyfriend while she was right there.
I didn't want to make a scene so I said I'd go, but Jake argued back and said it was clearly just joking around and he's sick of her getting upset at literally anything I do, or he does with me, which was surprising because it was the first I heard that she's had actual complaints.
We all wound up sitting down in the food court to talk and Lucy basically said that she's growing more and more uncomfortable with how close Jake and I are as her and Jake get closer, even though Jake and I's interactions have drastically dropped since they started dating. She thinks its weird we have friendship bracelets (our families went on a double vacation when we were 14 and me and Jake bought those cheap seaside shell bracelets in matching colors, that's literally it) and we hang out alone once a month (even though she's been invited multiple times and always refuses) and she thinks its even weirder than our families are so close and call us siblings.
I won't lie, it killed me inside, but I offered to back off entirely and only be around Jake in group settings, if at all, but Jake cut in and said that wasn't a compromise he was willing to make, and asked Lucy to talk more in private. They left together and trying to be respectful, I haven't reached out at all to either of them while they talk it through.
Jake's mom came over today to hang out with mine, and wound up telling me the last few days Jake has been stressed out, miserable, and isn't sure about staying with Lucy. She said it was a shame because Lucy seemed so nice, but she also said she was proud of him because I was family and Lucy's insecurity wasn't reasonable.
It made me feel sad and like I was hurting Jake by interfering with his relationship again, so I asked some of my online friends from a game I play and the opinion was kind of split. They all agreed I've never spoken about Jake in a way that hinted I liked him, but also that as girls, they'd feel weird anyway about knowing their boyfriend had this close bond with another girl, and they'd be wondering what the future would look like and if our friendship would get in the way of choices like moving, starting a family.
Now I feel completely lost and honestly a little scared of both losing Jake and apparently ruining his life by being so close to him. None of the rest of our IRL friend group has ever brought anything up about it, and I don't know if this is Lucy being jealous or if this is my fault.
What are these acronyms?
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002yb · 4 months
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We've all heard of accidental baby acquisition, but now get ready for:
Accidental pet acquisition!
Thoughts? 👀
Always of the opinion that we were cheated with Jason's lacking involvement with Haley. Specifically with 'Bitewing,' because that has Jason's wit all over it. So let's make an AU of that:
Specifically - roommate!AU
Where Dick and Jason are really just roommates (who happen to toe boundaries and flirt for fun. A lot.)
Basically, they're cool. Casual. Their relationship is better than its ever been (not just because they're little mutual flirts and Jason is thriving because of it) and it's a good time.
Side tangent: Jason settling so quickly and finding a newfound confidence with consistent companionship. All the bluster and bravado, fake-it-til-he-makes-it falling away to something more genuine because Dick is Dick and is just one of those people that gives confidence by association? Idk, but it's a positive impact that Jason doesn't even realize for a long while until he does and it's ;U;
But yeah, sometimes they work together, other times not. Always, always Jason is a nag about Dick's abysmal work hours and lack of care towards himself though. It's not necessarily a fight, but Jason gets sassy with it because if Dick doesn't want Jason taking care of him, then do it himself. )<
Dick turning this sort of argument around on Jason all the time as they flirt banter. Jason doesn't want Dick looking out for him/watching his back, then do it himself (which Jason puffs up because he's always prepared, to which Dick scoffs because yeah, sure, with a deathwish and Jason laughing because yeah, stop projecting bigbird i'll fight you and so on and so forth). Jason also doesn't want Dick treating him nice? Do. It. Himself. ;)
It's a good situationship. They challenge each other in the way they need to be challenged and surprisingly? Jason kind of loves it that way (because for once, it's mutual and fair)
That love of challenging and being challenged goes by the wayside the day Dick up and comes home with a dog
And it's not that Jason is scared of dogs, he just...has a consistent experience with them.
Experiences that make his knee jerk reaction of jumping over the back of the couch to shield himself completely warranted and valid
(Because, headcanon: it wasn't just stray kids and vagrants living on the streets. Starved, abused dogs? Just as vicious as any human).
Jason flustering because, 'what's that?'
'A dog.'
Were it not for Dick's guard dog (a three legged puppy), Jason would throw down and that'd be the end of Dick. Jason knows how to hide a body, damn it
'No shit. Why're they here? In our apartment??'
To which Dick goes into the harrowing story of how he saved this dog from being chased down and abused and Jason glowers because wtf don't just regurgitate Jason's life story to him and expect him to empathize, manipulative son of a-
Only Jason does [empathize] because puppy eyes (from Dick, the dog, or both - reader's choice)
Anyway, Dick picking up that Jason is scared of dogs and teasing him about it because it's wildly unexpected and goes against Jason's image in a comical sort of way
Of course Jason denying being scared of anything. Adamantly. Because he's not, he's just learned to be wary. Dick shouldn't be so trusting all the time, the ass l<
Which, yeah. Maybe. Though trusting and choosing to take risks has landed Dick with a whole lot of good in his life *pointed looks and smirks at Jason*, just sayin'
Which is like, such an underhand punkass thing to say, the bastard. It's so disarming that Jason can do little more than crouch behind the couch to hide his blush and glower and grumble in protest because 'stfu.'
Honestly though, Dick being at a loss on what to do. Though Dick supposes he can probably call Damian. Or Clark, maybe.
But Dick looks so bummed about it. Because for pragmatic as Dick can be, he's by default a fucking sap. Ain't no way Dick hasn't already emotionally adopted this dog as his own. Separating them not feels like such a dick move.
But it's fine. Jason can use this to his advantage. Aside from having one over on Dick for the future, Jason can certainly bargain with Dick needing to adjust his unbearable work schedule now. Because having a dog is a responsibility.
Finally, proper work hours and post-work hours and-
Only not because it's Jason's unemployed, homebound ass that gets saddled with looking after this hellhound
Dick being tentative about leaving Jason with her given Jason's not-traumas and fears, but Jason insists that it's fine even while trying to subtly hide behind a pillow that he fluffs to hide the fact that he's looking for shields here
Dick insisting that the dog is sweet, seriously.
'Yeah, so am I.' Jason would retort with bared teeth. 'Get gone and get back before I'm not.'
At which point Jason is left alone with a source of one of his many traumas.
And is marginally healed of it by the time Dick returns because this little angel ends up adoring him hahaha
That first hour being spent with Jason sitting curled up on the couch and the dog just sitting on the rug in front of him. Staring. Then laying down and staring. And Jason tries to ignore them. Working on a case or reading a book but the staring ffs. Every time Jason peers around whatever he's doing, the dog just watches him.
But then she wags her tail and Jason is a little endeared and ugh, fine
Basically Dick coming home to find Jason sitting on the couch with the puppy sleeping on his chest and Jason being all soft eyed and content because he's been chosen. Also, look at those little paws on his pecs? Adorable.
Dick snickering because paws? Adorable. Pecs? ԾᴗԾ
(Also: this is definitely his dog. Dick would love to gets his hands on Jason's tits, too).
Dick sitting next to them and asking after Jason's day. Which was good, thank goodness. Jason asking after Dick, too. To which Dick laughs and admits it couldn't have been as nice as theirs, but it was fine. Just casual and easy and domestic. //u///
Jason lighting up because he thought of a name.
Which Dick doesn't discourage him from even though they'd previously discussed only looking after her until they found a proper home.
It's sweet how attached Jason got, how proud he is when he turns to Dick with a brilliant smile and titters: 'Haley 'Bitewing' Grayson-Todd'
Dick having any number of playful, ornery retorts ready, only they all die in his throat because he's so caught off guard just- what?
He has one of those reboot moments because: Haley? Bitewing? Hyphenated last names!? It's too much for Dick's heart, just. Ffffffff.
This is the moment Dick realizes he might love this man.
But for the moment, Dick laughs and Jason preens as Dick scratches behind Haley's ears and catches Jason's gaze and tells him it's perfect and Jason gets a little timid, but loves on their pup too
And their fingers brush and it's !!! with awkward laughs as they pull away and ahhhhhhhhh
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lynlyndoll · 4 months
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I wish
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genre: fluff, angst, comfort, neighbor au, friends to crushes to strangers to lovers
pair: bangchan x fem!reader
summary: You've always wished for things that never happened, or at least, that's what you thought. The whole theory you made about not getting what you truly wished for was ended when your biggest wish got granted. The one of having the one you love next to you.
word count: 4k
lyn's note: hello guys! oh my, i've missed writing and publishing actual fics here :)) so here is the first part of the event, i hope you guys will like it! please reblog/like if you like this, thank you!!!
8 days for Christmas masterlist
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“I wish… I wish…” you kept saying in your parents’ car, watching out the window at the white scenery displayed outside. You were in the process of moving away from your old house because of your dad’s new job - something that you disliked with your whole heart. Not only that you were moving away from your best friends, but the move came during Christmas time - your favorite time of the year, that now has been fogged with sad thoughts of leaving your favorite people. “I wish we wouldn’t have moved.” You scoff, continuing your idea. Your parents look at you, your mom slightly smiling.
“Everything’s going to be fine, Y/N… You’ll see! You love Christmas! Look how much snow we have!” She chuckles, making you look at her and sigh.
You, indeed, loved snow - a factor that indeed maybe made you be more positive about the move, since during winter, at your old place, snow rarely came. You slowly smiled, however, still trying to keep your sad face on. 
You get out of the car and the first thing you do is breathe in the cold air that is brushing over your skin. You smile at the feeling, a little giggle escaping your lips. Looking around, you see a little boy smiling at you, waving his little hand a little after you locked eyes with him. You wave back, which encourages the boy to come closer.
“Hi!” The boy says and you reciprocate the greeting. “You're new, right? I stay just across the street - wait you saw that already… Uhm, if you need some help, I can help you! And my family will, as well! I’m Chan, by the way! Chan Bahng!”
“I’m Y/N…” you shyly say. “Y/N Y/LN. And thank you…” You smile.
Your dad then calls you to help him, interrupting the small interaction between you and the boy, named Chan. You go inside the house to help your parents move in, getting box after box from the moving truck. 
“Who’s the boy?” Your mom asks you, as the work is finally done. “He seems nice.”
“He’s Chan. Chan Bahng. His family lives just across the street.” You smile thinking at the boy. Your mom smiles as well.
“Then, if they are our new neighbors, we should invite them to dinner, after we finish moving this mess.” She says, chuckling.
Next time you see Chan is at school, in the hallways. 
“Hi, Y/N!” He says, happily. “How have you been? How's the moving? Still don’t need my strong arms?” He jokes, showing his arms as if he had big muscles, making you laugh.
“Thanks, Chan, but we've almost finished! And I've been… I guess, fine? I still miss my friends and the time isn't making it better.” You sigh, thinking about the Christmas you spent with your friends, knowing that this year’s Christmas wont have its special guests around the Christmass tree.
“Yeah, I think I understand the feeling. I also love Christmas and I'm sure it must be hard for you… But still, you have me!” He smiles, taking your hand and running along the corridors till he finds the door that leads to the school’s backyard, which was full of snow. You smile and follow him outside, running around and throwing snowballs at each other.
That night, your family got an invitation for Christmas from the Bahngs. You smiled, remembering what happened during school hours. Your family accepted the invitation, which made you radiate happiness. 
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The Christmas parties became an annual tradition for your and his families, each year being spent either at your house or his house. You grew up with him being your perfect and funny neighbor, the one that you could always count on for saving the day. A tradition became decorating each other’s house in the last week before Christmas, ending each day with a Christmas movie while drinking your favorite hot chocolate. Many other traditions were made with him, more than half of your special memories being filled with him. 
Every year, the school organized a Christmas party for the seniors - and now, it was your turn as well to participate. As much as you loved the idea of going to the school’s party, you knew that there weren't many people interested in the idea of going with you. In fact, you knew that actually no person would want to go with you. No person, except - you hoped - Chan. Chan was always there for you, always ready to help, so why not ask him. Sure, you hoped you’d be the one asked out for the party, but after all, the question itself wasn't a big deal, right? 
You prepared everything, so, with the help of your few friends, the question would be perfect. A banner that you made with your girl best friend was hung, your friends were already making Chan walk up to you and your hands were sweaty from the nervousness. But, afterall, he is Chan, right? He wouldn't say no, right?
As he enters the room you specially occupied for the question, his eyes land on you. Your smile is bright as you ask your question. He smiles as well, although, a little bit awkwardly.
“Y/N… as much as I’d want to… I already asked Sana and she said yes.” He says, trying not to upset you. In fact, now you realize how stupid you must've been. You've always known that Chan always liked Sana - nothing new or nothing to bother you. You slightly smile, muttering a “Good job!” and a “Sorry for asking.” as you walk out the room. He tries to follow you, but your friends stop him - they knew you wanted to be alone.
You, indeed, wanted to be left alone, swallowing your tears as you realized that not even your best friend, the boy you've known since you were six years old, the boy who would've done anything for you, didn't want to go with you. Sure, you knew that you were probably too egoistic to think that he'd drop everything for you, but still, you couldn't stop feeling sad that the one person you truly felt connected to, wasn't there for you.
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You decided not to bother over the fact that he went to the Christmas party without you. You also decided not to bother when Sana and him started going out together, as a couple, and he hasn't had any time for you as well. You decided not to bother over the fact that he went to the prom, without you again, making you stay at home while eating ice cream and tears mixing with the hiccups you got. Okay, maybe you were indeed upset. Maybe you missed your best friend. So what? You were okay with him dating, afterall, it was a normal thing to do at your age - not that you had part of it. To be completely honest, you haven't had your first kiss yet, but hey! What’s the big deal, right? 
“I wish… I wish he’d fucking see.” you sigh. Yes, you wish he’d see that you may care about him more than you'd care for a friend, youd even wish he’d acknowledge it, even if it would mean that he refuses you. At least, that way, you would accept that you have no chance with him. 
Even if you were still thinking about your crush on Chan, you decided to try and have some fun without him. So, when you got asked out for the first time, you immediately accepted. Not only because you were desperate to get Chan off your mind, but also because the boy who asked you out wasn’t too bad. In fact, he was a fun person to be with, attentive and caring. Plus, he was also pretty. His name - Taehyung - was pretty as well, it fitted him. 
You both went to a few dates together and you soon - almost - forgot about the Chan situation. Sadly, both of you parted away from each other, but you didn't have time to notice that. He tried, indeed, to talk to you, after Sana and him broke up. But you were always with Taehyung, which always brought you joy. 
That summer was the summer you parted ways for college as well. You started going to the university from the other side of the town, while he went to the closest university from his home. Every year, however, both of you would see each other for Christmas holidays, both of your eyes lingering on each other for a few seconds, before entering the house, unspoken words coming out every time. Taehyung was a great boyfriend. You loved him, but a little feeling in the back of your mind was always there, never making you stop thinking about Chan. 
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“Y/N… I- we aren’t working anymore.” A teary Taehyung says, as you are also crying.
It all started two months ago. You and him both started to have a lot of work to do and none of you tried to make a little conversation with each other. You both got back to your shared apartment wasted and full of workload, entering the kitchen, grabbing some quick snack and going to sleep, only for the next day to happen exactly the same. You both tried to start talking again, but whenever one of you tried, the other wasn't in the mood of anything. Other than that, almost every week had its own fight, over the most insignificant stuff, which exhausted each other even more. Today was another fight, because he found the apartment messy. The fight accelerated quickly and soon enough, words were hitting each other again, harshly. Tears appeared in each other’s eyes. 
“We… we can’t, we-”
“Don’t you see, Y/N?” He sighs. “We haven’t had a normal conversation for months! We have barely even seen each other!”
“It’s- It’s only a phase, we will-”
“Y/N, please listen to me.” He cupped your face and made you look at him. “I love you, but we aren’t working. This- this is toxic! And it isn’t a phase… We’ve been like this for months, Y/N. For months! It’s not good for any of us!” He says, frustration being heard from the tone of his voice. His words make you cry even harder, hugging him as a goodbye.
“I loved you too, Taehyung. Very much. Thank you… for everything.” You sigh into his embrace. “I’ll leave in the morning.” You say as you go pack your bags.
Tragic, right? The only guy that made you feel safe put an end to your relationship. You knew that the relationship was getting even more toxic by day, but there was a hope… You wished it would get back to normal, to the way it used to be. But of course everything that you truly wish for, never happens. You always have laughed, the truth to be told, about the way that everything that you wished for turned out exactly the other way. If it happened to anyone other than yourself, you’d laugh, honestly. Because it simply sounds funny - to never have something that you truly wish for. And all of these wishes that never ended well, were all during the winter holiday, your favorite time of the year. But maybe it’s just your negative thoughts. Probably. Either way, right now, you have to think about another thing, about packing your things and getting out of your now ex boyfriend. 
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It's exactly eleven months and thirteen days since you and your ex-boyfriend broke up. You weren't mourning your relationship anymore, however, you were still thinking about the happy moments you had together. However, you had no time to think about your past, now focusing on your last year of university. Truth to be told, you were straight up stressed and frustrated with the amount of work your teachers made you have - but you were ready to give your best. 
You still live with your parents, not having enough money to find an apartment all by yourself. Many people said it's stressing, to stay with your parents, but you were glad you still had some time to spend with your family, since you'd move away from home once you finished college. Afterall, this is your last Christmas here and you want to take in everything before you leave your childhood place. 
As you were getting nostalgic, you hear your mother call you from outside your room. You find your mom in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. 
“Hi, love.” She says and gives you a kiss on your forehead, but quickly gets back to cooking. “Your dad and I will go to his parents for the Christmas week and, since you're full of workload, we know you would prefer to remain at home. The only thing that I want to warn you is that, since you're a Christmas lover, we know you'll want to prepare the whole house for the holidays, so please take care. We will leave tomorrow morning, before you'll wake up, so don't worry about us.” 
You smile and nod, still a little bit sleepy. “Alright! Please take care, mom.” Right then, your father came from your parents’ bedroom, smiling at the smell of the pancakes your mother just finished making. 
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It's already the 17th. Fuck. It's a week before Christmas and, even if you're full of excitement for having the house all for yourself during the holidays, you still can't stop thinking if your Christmas-decoration plan isn't a bit too much for yourself, being alone. But after all, you're Y/N, you've done this many times - sure, with the help of your parents and, well…
“Hey, don't you think you need a bit of… help?” Well, fuck. You could recognize that voice whenever and wherever. The exact person you were thinking of previously, the one and only Chan Bahng. You'd lie if you would say that you wouldn't need some help, though. But you don't want help, especially from him. So you try to ignore his concerned tone, as you try to put the Christmas lights at your house's eaves, standing on a not-so-stable metal staircase. And exactly what you did not wish for, happened. Your stairs happened to just give up on you, making you fall. Chan, immediately after he saw the way your stairs were moving in a not-so-safe way. He caught you in his arms, preventing you from hitting the pavement. He smiles, but once you feel his arms stopping your fall, you jump away from him, rearranging your outfit. He coughs, sighing at his question still being unanswered.
You force a smile. “Well, I guess..” You sigh, thinking that you, indeed, need some help. Even from Chan, your ex-best friend and still neighbor.
Indeed  with the help of another person, you soon finished decorating the outside. As you were entering the house, he stopped you. “Hey, uhm, maybe… I can help you with the inside as well? Since it's a big house and little time and we'll, you're alone.” He smiles, almost too awkwardly for Chan. He was right. Again. Another thing to add to the list of the things you don't like about him. You nod your head, inviting him in. Well, maybe you have another helper. The only thing you need to do is just, simply, finish the whole decorating situation, as fast as you can, and he'll be gone. Right?
That was the plan. A plan you had terribly failed, starting off with the question: “What in the world smells like this?”. A question asked by your neighbor, Chan. A question that even yourself would’ve asked if you wouldn't have been the one preparing the Christmas cookies you once knew how to prepare. You laughed, honestly, because another thing that you wished for just simply didn't happen. Well, that's the smallest thing that hasn't happened as wanted, you told yourself. Funny. Either way, the bad smell somehow found its way into the alley - the one Chan, exactly at that moment, was walking by. Funny, again. He knocked at your door, thinking that there might have been some type of fire accident and he was worried for you - something you brushed off easily, as only guilt built up through years. He asked you that exact question, which made you laugh - a genuine laugh, that made Chan thank God for finally getting some type of positive reaction to him - and you simply answered by letting him inside, showing him the cookies - the horribly burnt, with no taste cookies. You knew that you were a bad cook since you were a kid, to be honest. But usually, your parents or friends - yes, even Chan used to fit this category - were next to you, helping you out, which always made your cooking way more bearable - not for you, but for the other's health. Once he sees the cookies, his signature smile appears, his nose scrunching from both the unpleasant smell and from laughing. You smile as well - another sign that Chan takes in. 
“Okay, don’t you think you need some help with… those?” He says, amusingly. 
“Maybe…” You laugh as well, throwing the cookies into the bin.
That day, you cooked with Chan till late. The first attempt that you both made was so good that none could stop eating, so exactly when you wanted to take some and put them for the decor, you noticed none was left. So you both did another round of cookies, this time leaving some for the decor. Seeing that it was close to midnight, you invited him to eat something at your house, from your mom’s famous Christmas steak - an actually very common steak, however, you and Chan gave that name a few years ago, in your childhood. So he accepts your invitation, settling down at the table. That night, you both started talking about everything that happened during the time you didn’t talk - a thing that somehow, made you feel better. It was a good dinner, you thought, even if the steak was a little bit too cold, but his presence made the atmosphere warmer, so you didn’t mind it. 
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There are exactly 6 days, 20 hours and 21 - actually 22, no 23 - seconds since you started planning for Christmas and eventually, started speaking to Chan again. A thing you finally didn’t regret. You were finally together, again. And tonight was finally Christmas Eve. Funny, you didn’t even register how the time went.
Ding Dong.
A sound comes from outside of your house. You open the door and are met with a red-nosed Chan, with the one sweatshirt you gave him years ago - you didn’t even recognize it at first - and with his hands on two hot chocolates, both from your favorite cafe in town. He looks up at you, eyes a little bit teary from the cold and you immediately smile and let him in. 
“Hey-”
“I did not want you to spend Christmas alone, Y/N… So, here I am!” he answers right away at your unspoken question. You forgot this man can literally predict your every move. So you just smile and help him with the hot chocolate - which you then pour into your favorite mugs, the ones you both got for Christmas, a long time ago. 
“What movie are we watching this Christmas, Y/N?” He asks, making himself cozy on your couch. You sit next to him, placing some of the Christmas cookies you both made together in front of you, accompanied by the hot chocolate Chan got - especially for you, a thing that he won’t tell anyone, actually.
“Well, how about (your favorite Christmas romance movie)?” You smile, as he nods and opens Netflix, pressing play to the movie.
There are 6 days, 23 hours and 19 - 20, 21 and 22 - seconds since Christmas appeared in your planning agenda again and you're finally at the last part. The one you enjoyed every Christmas - cuddling with a sleepy and warm Chan, that knows all the action of the movie, so when he wakes up at exactly 3 minutes before the main characters kiss, he knows all the action that has happened. And now, he’s finally awake, again, 3 minutes before the kiss scene, exactly as you expected. 
2 minutes.
“Okay, they are close!” He says with excitement in his voice as he hugs you even closer than you were, making you chuckle. You hug him back as well. Somehow, you like this proximity, even if it feels way more different than it used to be back when you were teenagers. It feels intimate, but you brush the thought off.
1 minute.
“Hold on~” He says, trying to figure out exactly the moment they will kiss. The two main characters are on the big screen of your TV, meaningful words being said by both of them. You start thinking how good it has to feel to have a winter love that grows day by day and the love erupts during Christmas Eve. It feels magical, untouchable, and you have to admit that you'd want to feel it too. Feel the thrill of celebrating both Christmas and the day you and your loved one had become a couple. You tried to imagine it, but the only thing that came into your head was the little boy that you saw the first day you moved here. In your imagination, the little boy grew and grew, and then you saw through your thoughts dates that he would have probably taken you to. You sigh at the mental images you imagined, returning back to reality when he strokes your hand. Your eyes meet his - he was already looking at you.
30 seconds
“Are you okay?” His gentle voice rings in your head. 
“Yeah…” That's all you can say. You're not fooling him, so he scoots even closer to you. 
“Y/N, I know you for a long time - too long to remember actually” He cracks a joke, making you smile. “I know when you’re not doing great, so please tell me. I am - well, I used to - be your best friend-”
“You still are…” You interrupt him.
15 seconds
“Well, I’m glad because you’re also mine-”
“That’s the thing. We’re best friends.” you continue.
“Yeah… I know?”
“Well, yeah, only best friends. Nothing else. Exactly as we used to be during our childhood.” You say, your gaze now being in your lap. He doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “During our childhood, I never truly understood what I felt to you. I confused it with… friendship, but it wasn’t quite that. It was more like… teen love, I guess? I mean, I was still a kid, but I felt something for you, more than I felt for my other friends, y’know? And… it broke my heart when I saw you with Sana-”
“It broke my heart to see you with Taehyung, as well.” He says, quietly, making you look at him, his blush prominent on his cheeks. “I mean… I thought you didn't see me this way and all of my friends made fun of me for not having a relationship, so I asked Sana out because I knew - well, I thought - you’d say no.” He sighs.
3 seconds
“Well, I never knew-”
“Is there a reason why we stopped talking?” He asks, making you nod. He cups your cheeks and lets out a heavy sigh.
2 seconds
“Do you, by any chance, still feel the same way?” He asks, hoping to be heard in his tone.
“I-” you remain blocked, a smile growing and growing until it reaches your eyes. “Yeah.”
1 second
“Then, fucking kiss me!” He groaned, rolling his eyes in a fake annoyance.
Kiss scene
No one was focusing on the movie, not now when your lips were on his. He was like coziness, home and safety - a mix of all of your comfort things. He tasted like Christmas, like actual Christmas. Both of you started to smile in the kiss, a soft, long awaited moment for both of you. 
“I wish we did this before…” You say once you break the kiss.
“I wish we will do this forever.” He smiles, bringing another wave of positivity to you, kissing you again, just as he wished. Forever.
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taglist: @agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @jenny1p-l0ve
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fafnir19 · 4 months
Text
Isn't champagne part of human rights?
The frosty air nipped at Leon's cheeks as he made his way through the snow-covered streets of the upscale ski resort. The grand hotel loomed before him, its opulent facade standing in stark contrast to the modest upbringing he had known. As he entered the lobby, the hotel manager, Mr. Bower, beckoned him over. "Leon, I have a special task for you," Mr. Bower said, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. "What is it, Mr. Bower?" Leon asked, trying to ignore the nervous flutter in his chest. "We have a group of wealthy young guests staying at the hotel, and we want them to spend more. Since you're close in age, I want you to encourage them to indulge in our amenities," Mr. Bower explained. Leon frowned, feeling out of his depth. "But I'm not sure how to do that... I'm not exactly outgoing." Mr. Bower clapped him on the back. "Nonsense, Leon. I believe in you. I'll provide you with the right attire to fit in with them. It'll be a valuable experience for you." Leonard nodded, trying to quiet the apprehension swirling in his mind.
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Over the next few days, Leon found himself in a world entirely different from the one he knew. The rich kids exuded confidence and self-assuredness, while Leon struggled to keep up. They spent money like it was nothing, purchasing the latest ski gear and indulging in extravagant meals. "Come on, Leon! Live a little!" one of the rich kids, Max, exclaimed, tossing an expensive scarf to him. Leon caught the scarf awkwardly, feeling a mixture of excitement and guilt. "I... I can't afford this," he stammered. "Nonsense! It's on the house," Max said with a carefree laugh.
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As the days passed, Leon found himself caught up in the whirlwind of luxury and excess. He joined the rich kids on the slopes, where they whooped and hollered as they carved through the powdery snow. "Woo-hoo!" Max shouted, spraying snow as he skidded to a stop. Leon laughed in exhilaration, his initial discomfort fading into the background. The evenings were a blur of indulgence, with the rich kids popping champagne corks and reveling in the lively après-ski scene. "This is the life, isn't it, Leon?" Max grinned, clinking his glass against Leon's. Leon hesitated for a moment before raising his glass. "Yeah, it's... it's incredible."
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However, as the winter holidays drew to a close, a sense of unease gnawed at Leon. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was deceiving the rich kids. On the final night, as they sat in the hotel's lavish lounge, Leon finally spoke up. "I have to tell you something. I was... I was hired to encourage you all to spend more money." The rich kids exchanged surprised glances before bursting into laughter. "Seriously? That's hilarious!" Max exclaimed, shaking his head. "We knew that, Leon," another rich kid, Emma, said with a chuckle. "In fact, that was the whole point." Confusion clouded Leon's features. "What do you mean?" "We've been looking for an heir to our uncle's fortune, and we believe you're the right fit," Max explained, his eyes glinting with sincerity. Leon's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Wait, what? I don't understand." Emma leaned in, her voice soft. "We've been grooming you to become one of us, Leon. You're more than just an acquaintance. You're family now."
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As the truth sank in, Leon felt a whirlwind of emotions surging through him. He had gone from a hesitant hotel apprentice to being welcomed into a world he never imagined belonged to him. With the winter holidays coming to an end, Leon made a life-changing decision. He chose to leave his role as a hotel apprentice and enroll in the prestigious boarding school where the rich kids studied.
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Over the coming months, Leon embraced his new lifestyle, immersing himself in the world of the wealthy. He traded his modest clothing for designer outfits, and his once-shy demeanor gave way to a newfound confidence. When the next winter holiday arrived, Leon returned to the hotel with his friends, the gap between them bridged by shared experiences and a bond that transcended social status.
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"Leon! Pass the champagne!" Max called out, and Leon obliged with a grin, reveling in the camaraderie that now defined their relationship. As they laughed and toasted to their friendship, Leon couldn't help but marvel at how far he had come. The rich kids no longer saw him as an outsider but as one of their own. The extravagance and merriment continued throughout their stay, and the hotel buzzed with the infectious energy of youth and affluence. "This is the life," Leon thought, his heart brimming with gratitude for the unexpected turn his life had taken. With each passing day, Leon felt a growing sense of belonging, a feeling that had eluded him for so long. On the last night of their stay, as they gathered for an extravagant farewell dinner, Leon looked around at his friends, now his family, and a surge of overwhelming emotion washed over him. "Thank you, all of you," Leon said, his voice filled with sincerity. "For everything." The rich kids raised their glasses, their laughter ringing through the opulent dining hall. "To Leon, our brother in arms!" they cheered, their voices blending in perfect harmony. Leon smiled, his eyes shining with contentment as he basked in the warmth of acceptance and friendship. No one would ever guess that he had once been a timid hotel apprentice, for now, he stood tall and proud among the rich kids, a testament to the remarkable transformation that had taken place.
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astrxsee · 1 month
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FALSE GOD chap. 3
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(chap 1) (chap 2) (chap 3)
percy jackson x child of demeter!oc
𝑰𝑵 𝑾𝑯𝑰𝑪𝑯 Rose St. Claire sets off on a quest to save the goddess in chains.
𝑶𝑹
𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑪𝒀 𝑱𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑺𝑶𝑵 learns to see what is right in front of him.
!CONTENT WARNING! gore, romance, swearing, blood, heavy themes
OMG ITS HAPPENING STAY CALM!! LITERALLY SO EXITED FOR THIS. i love you all and i really really really hope you like this
Whoever's idea it was to send us here, should rot in hell. I plop down onto my designated cot, the poles poking at me through the bottom. My eyes scan around the dull room, the darkness of the interior instantly ruining my mood. Dark green cots were lined up in rows along the edge of the room, with the students things stashed neatly below their respective bed. With nothing on the walls and only one tiny window, it was a dreary place.
I sigh, my head tilted to the side as I glance over at Bianca. Her dark curly hair fell off the back of the lame excuse for a bed. Dark brown eyes scanned the pages of some fantasy novel she held in front of her face. Her dark Westover Hall uniform thrown haphazardly on, with wrinkles lining the button down shirt.
"You know, if you keep your nose in a book all day, you'll fall behind in your classes." I jokingly poke at her, a slight laugh following my words. Her eyes begrudgingly move away from her book to look at me.
"Rose, you have absolutely no room to talk," She snarks back, "You've already fallen behind and we've only been here for three weeks!"
I roll my eyes at her, as I dramatically fall back into my cot. I huff and throw my hands in the air, "I mean, can you blame me?"
She seems to consider my words, "No, not really." Setting the book down on the ground next to her and rolls over to face me, her eyebrows furrowing in concern.
"Like, we were literally living in a casino where times was fucked up and now we're living in the future?" I say incredulously as my sentences quickly turn into ranting. "It's 2007 for crying out loud! The last year I remember being in was fucking 1976, and don't even get me started on y'all! Bianca, there has to be something wrong with us to be stuck in this shit show."
She lets out a small giggle, my ranting not even phasing her. After three weeks of hearing it, I doubt she even pays attention anymore.
"I know this is all so confusing and weird, but there will be an answer. But for now, let it be." Bianca giggles. I groan, catching onto her reference. I crack a smile, her corny play on the Beatles' classic easing my anger.
"Bi, I love showing you my music, but never say that again."
She laughs again and gives a mocking sort of salute before turning back to her book. I stand up from my makeshift bed, smoothing the wrinkles out of my own uniform. I lazily make my way over to the bathroom, wanting to freshen up before Bianca and I went to grab lunch.
The other girls in the dorm were all out making last minute plans for tonight, the annual school dance. As the only little sliver of fun they allow us, the dance is a big deal. All I heard about for the last couple of days was who asked who and who dumped who, blah blah blah. Dances back in the 70s were my favorite thing. I always met up with some of my friends and spent the whole night dancing to our favorite bands. But, to be honest, I'm not really looking forward to tonight's dance.
The last three weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions. Confusion and unanswered questions clouded my mind every waking second. Weird things that I can't begin to explain happen almost every day. Like the horse with wings I saw on the quad a couple days ago. It seems like I was put on an alien planet.
I feel lost. Memories of my home and my past come back to me like puzzle pieces. Bits and pieces of the same memory keep coming back, screaming at me to put them together. I've seen flashes of a large creature; a larger than life lion with wings and a scorpion tail. A monster you can only find in fantasy books, like the ones Bianca reads. Other flashes of a man, tall and burly with a gruff beard, haunt my dreams. His screams echo around in my head every moment of the day.
The one vision I can see most clearly is vines quickly crawling up the legs and arms of the unknown creature. Vines quickly take over the creatures body as I hear it begin to bellow out, and that's when it suddenly stops. Every night since I left that godforsaken casino, Ive had this eerie dream. I have no idea what it could mean or if it's even real, but I couldn't stop the constant nervousness I felt. My anxiety was at an all time high with the feeling of somebody watching me nagging me every second of the day.
I take a deep breath as I look into the mirror, my mind racing. I lean on the counter to take in my appearance, God was I a wreck. My blonde hair looked greasy and unkempt, the stress of the past couple weeks taking a toll on my body. My green eyes had deep bags underneath them, the usual luster gone. Now they just looked empty and sad. I sigh as I look away, not able to take in the sight of me right now. It's nothing that a shower won't fix, I decide.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
I could feel the excitement in the air as everyone made their way to the dance. Giddy laughter rose up from the girls who finally got to put on their nice dresses. Dark blue streamers lined the entrance to the gym as throngs of students made their way into the gym. On the inside of the dance, there were lights and lasers pointing every which way.
I smooth out the wrinkles in my flowy dress. It was orange and pink and ended right above my knees, it is some of the only clothes I still have with me from home. I didn't miss the mean remarks made from students about how I looked straight out of Dazed and Confused.
Our new friend, Grover, came with us to the dance as well. He asked if he could tag along with us as he doesn't have many other friends. Grover joined Westover Hall only a week after Bianca, Nico, and I joined. With us being all new, it was only right for us to become friends.
"Woah! Isn't this cool! I've never been to a dance before." Grover exclaims wistfully as we walk into the gym. I giggle as he looks around like a kid in a candy store.
"You've never been to a dance before?" I ask, a teasing lilt to my voice. My eyes scan the room, trying to ease into the overwhelming atmosphere that comes with dances.
"Nope, I've only ever gone to boring schools." I scoff and give him a look.
"Grover, this is the definition of a boring school."
"I don't know. I'd say this is pretty fun." He exclaims as everyone begins to dance along to the music. I roll my eyes at his antics, starting to make my way over to the bleachers. I quickly feel Grover wrap his hands around my wrist and pull me out onto the dance floor.
"Grover!" I exclaim, my eyes wide. "What are you doing? I don't want to dance."
"Come on! Have fun!" He smiles, letting go of my wrist gently. I stand awkwardly in front of him, not knowing what to do. My eyes dart around the gym hoping nobody was looking, until I realized everyone was in their own world enjoying this small night of freedom.
The next thing I know Grover has Bianca and I dancing to songs I've never even heard of. We were talking and dancing as if we were in some movie. Grover excuses himself to go get a drink, leaving Bianca and I alone on the dance floor. We giggle as we spot Nico alone on the bleachers.
"Nico! What are you doing? Shouldn't you be dancing?" I tease him, as we walk up to his spot on the lower level.
"No!" He quickly exclaims, "I hate dancing. I don't even like this mu-"
"Children, would you please come with me. There is something we need to discuss." A gruff voice cuts Nico off, instantly filling my body with chills. Dr Thorn. What could he even want? Isn't this supposed to be our night of fun?
I roll my eyes before reluctantly nodding, he is the vice principal after all. I notice a nervous aura around the man, his eyes glancing around the gym and suddenly stopping to stare at a boy dancing. I look back to Dr. Thorn as he became more noticeably angry. My eyebrows furrow in confusion as he quickly orders us to follow him.
My eyes land on the boy on the dance floor. He seemed to be having fun, I don't know why Dr Thorn seemed to be wary of him. The raven haired boy peered over at me, our eyes quickly meeting. I slow down as his blue eyes seem to put me in a daze, he sends me a sheepish smile before looking away. His eyes seemed to be looking around in panic. Bianca quickly grabs my hand and tows me along behind her and Dr Thorn.
"Rose, come on." Bianca's chides.
We quickly follow Dr Thorn outside, the cold breeze biting at my nose. I wrap my arms around myself as I subconsciously take a step closer to Bianca. The pit of my stomach begins to turn, like something bad was about to happen.
As we make it about a football field away from the edge of the cliff Westover Hall was perched on, my gaze falls onto my shoes. I begin touching the tips of my fingers together, something I do when I'm nervous. Bianca's shriek of horror quickly draws me out of my anxious state.
My eyes go wide as Dr Thorn begins growing bigger and his hands grow into giant paws with claws like knives. His off putting face morphs into a giant lion's head and from his back grows two giant gargoyle-like wings. I let out a guttural scream as I quickly try to get away from the creature, scurrying back in the wet snow.
He lets out a deep, evil laugh. His wings spreading out to his full span, casting a darkness over my friends and I. My breathing becomes quick and shallow as I desperately try to get away from Dr. Thorn. Was he even Dr. Thorn anymore?
I scramble backwards, as my eyes dart around the vast field next to the school. The raven haired boy from the dance comes running around the corner, out into the freezing wind. My eyes grow wide as he uncaps a regular pen and it instantly turns into a long, bronze sword. What the actual fuck was happening?
Why was the monster in my dreams right in front of me? Was it even a dream? I fall to my knees as I turn back around to face the monster. He laughs, an evil grin spreading across his face. His giant maw opens to speak.
“Rose St. Claire, so nice to see you again.”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
taglist: @cxcilla
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juneberrie · 2 years
Note
can u do a vance oneshot where thr reader (fem) is his best friend and vance slowly replaces her? u can make up a name for the girl he replaces her with 🤭
BUT LIKE A HAPPY ENDING WHERE HE ENDS WITH THE READER😔😔
(can u tell i like angst)
my nothing
lizzie’s thoughts 💭: i was mentally singing lost in the woods from frozen while writing this so take that how you will lol- also if your name is emily pretend the girl's (in the fic, there's a girl that vance is "replacing" y/n with) name is something else- i just picked the first thing that came to mind sorry-
pairing: vance hopper x fem!reader
fandom: the black phone
warnings: angssstttttttt but with a happy ending, swearing, feelings of abandonment, pet names (babe, angel), soft vance
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everyone always says that nothing lasts forever.
i thought me and vance were gonna be different. we've been best friends for years, through thick and thin. every time he got arrested, every time i failed a test, we were there for each other.
he's not here now. he's over there, with that girl. the girl he knows i hate, the girl he knows made fun of me in 5th grade for spilling my juice over her shirt. emily motherfucking townsend.
the townsends are the oldest family in town. grade-a rich, powerful, manipulative, they get everything. especially emily. all she has to do is pout and whine and she'll get whatever she wants.
glaring at the pair laughing and joking, i notice emily slowly stepping closer and closer to vance. he says something, probably another one of his stupid jokes, and she throws her head back in a laugh.
she shoves his shoulder, and glances at me. she smirks and says, loudly enough for me and china to hear, "oh stop it, vancey. you're too funny."
i can't. i grab my backpack and rush towards—somewhere. by the time i stop running, i'm at an empty bus stop. i sit down on the bench and bring my knees to my chest.
he's leaving me just like everyone else. he's probably going to fall in love with her and forget all about me.
it starts raining. at least the sky understands me and is willing to cry with me.
the sound of rain mixes with the sound of my crying.
somebody taps on my shoulder. i look up and there's vance, his fluffy blonde curls getting soaked. he gestures to the bench, at a spot next to me. he doesn't wait for me to answer before sitting next to me.
"you crying?" he asks, staring at the pouring rain in front of us.
"no, its the rain," i sniffle.
"sure it is, babe." he wraps an arm around me. "what's wrong?"
"nothing. vancey." i glance at him out of the corner of my eye. he catches my gaze and turns away, red faced.
"so you heard emily, huh," he sighs.
"yeah. what was that whole thing about?" i mutter.
"i.. don't know. she just came up to me and started bein' all friendly and touchy and— i don't know, y/n."
"you don't know?" he's lying. he has to be. he knows how much i hate emily. he knows what she put me through. living motherfucking hell.
"no, angel, i really don't fuckin' know."
"hmph."
"what, so you don't believe me?" he huffs. he's mad now. he's mad and he's gonna leave and he's gonna ignore me forever and go back to emily and—
vance kneels in front of me and lifts my face from my knees. "hey. i'm not mad at you, angel. i genuinely don't know why emily wanted to talk to me."
"you sounded mad a few seconds ago," i mumble.
"i just— it's just— fuck."
"what?"
"i don't like emily, if thats what you're thinking."
"you.. don't?"
"no, babe. i like you."
the rain filled the silence spilling between us.
"me?"
"you."
he smiles softly, intertwining our fingers.
"fuck, i'm crying again, you ass," i giggle.
"hmm," he murmurs. his hand comes up to wipe below my eye. "there."
"vance?"
his gaze strays to my lips.
"yeah, angel?"
"can i kiss you?"
he doesn't answer and instead presses his lips softly to mine. the kiss explodes a swarm of— no. not even butterflies. the whole entire zoo is running wild behind my rib cage.
we pull apart, both of us smiling like idiots under the rain.
"y'know how people say nothing lasts forever?" he asks, standing up and helping me off the bench.
"yeah?" my eyes flick to his lips again. the lips that taste like vanilla and feel like clouds.
"will you be my nothing?"
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Text
OOR 2004 - Nr 19 - Rammstein interview
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Rammstein <The claim that Germans have no humor is outdated>
Three years after Mutter, Rammstein comes on Reise, Reise with a more human sound. Guitarist Richard Kruspe explains why openly laughing is allowed.
by Mark van Schaick
Has Rammstein gone soft with Reise, Reise? Not exactly, given the criticism of first single Mein Teil and its accompanying video clip. But the Berlin group has certainly changed. Look at those photos. The militaristic and post-apocalyptic poses have made way for a more droll image. They shot a few more series: at the edge of a swimming pool, on the beach, in the sauna and in a bullfighting arena. And listen to Amerika, and Amore, and the title track of Reise, Reise. They are accessible and catchy tracks with a double meaning. Mein Teil is also more than just the story of the German cannibal and his victim (see 'Mein Teil'). Richard Kruspe (37) calls it self-awareness. In 2004, Rammstein dares to distance itself from itself.
Los is Kruspe's favorite new song. It is also the clearest proof that Reise, Reise is a different album than Sehnsucht (1997) and Mutter (2001). Kruspe already wrote it for Mutter, but it remained on the shelf until they decided to play the riff acoustically. "It's not what you'd expect from a German band, especially this German band. It's a simple, AC/DC-like riff, which when played acoustically gives it a bluesy feel. It's unlike anything we've had before done,” says Kruspe. And yet Rammstein, unmistakable.
"We decided that a few things had to be different when making this album. For me personally, this first of all meant that we had to work less tensely. Previously, the aggression in the music was paramount and the mutual friction in the band was also an important factor in the recording process. This time we consciously tried to leave the egos at the door. To give each other some space. And I think that is why this album sounds a bit more human than its predecessors. We used fewer machines, that was also a goal in itself. The live feeling had to be included. No more having to figure out our own songs afterwards because we had been cutting and pasting too much.
We used to be more at each other's throats because... everyone had their hang-ups and because in a band of six people you simply have clashing characters. Rammstein has no leader. All six of us are equal and this means that each individual fights for his place and sometimes there are endless discussions. That causes problems. In fact, it can lead to major crises. At the time of Mutter I had very clear ideas about what the music should and should not sound like. I was quite rigid about that, but fortunately at a certain point I realized that I had to let go and see the whole picture - a dynamic group of six people. It was a particularly intense period during which I finally decided to live in New York. I literally had to distance myself."
Kruspe was not the only one who struggled with his place within the democratic whole that is Rammstein. Each band member has chosen a form of self-therapy.
"It's quite something, of course. Over the years you get a certain vision of your work and your music, which does not necessarily correspond to that of the five others. Just deal with that. When I once started the project - because Rammstein was a project, I didn't have a permanent band in mind - my starting point was that I wanted to work with equal musicians. Everyone had the same input. That's how it stayed and gradually no one ever let themselves be ordered by someone else. But eh...Between people, there is always some kind of chemistry. Men, women, it doesn't matter. With the six of us, that chemistry is quite explosive."
This means that Rammstein is standing at the mixing desk in the studio. "Yes! More bass! More guitar! More drums! That's really how it goes. That's why we have to have a producer [for Reise, Reise it was just like on the previous studio albums Jacob Hellner]. He gets twenty, thirty percent more from the songs. And otherwise the work would never be finished. What we do notice, now, after ten years, is that some of us have become less fanatical. Not everyone has an opinion about every aspect of the music. That's not possible either. But to admit that you have to turn off your ego. Anyway, that's happened now. For the new album we wrote more as a band. That's different than before and that's important, because when you write as a band, you can discussions are easier."
Kruspe does not discuss the lyrics: "Till actually writes poems, not lyrics. Sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't. That's simple. Some of his poems have nothing to do with my feelings, but have such a strong story that I can completely agree with it. It helps that I have known Till for about eighteen years. I know where a text like Stein Um Stein comes from. A man who bricks up his wife because he doesn't want to lose her. The biggest problem for a person is letting go. That even plays a role in Mein Teil. Giving things away, giving up, distancing yourself. Very difficult. A theme like that means that I can identify with that text. That's enough."
So Rammstein was initially a project. Kruspe once shared an apartment with Oliver Riedel (bass) and Christoph Schneider (drums). Together they started developing musical ideas, without even an inkling of worldwide success. Second guitarist Paul Landers (real name: Henry Hirsch 1)), singer Till Lindemann and keyboardist Christian 'Flake' Lorenz joined them later; the latter only under the necessary pressure.
Kruspe: "With Mutter, Rammstein has made a big leap, especially in Europe. We have become a stadium band. But we never thought about any success whatsoever. It started with an idea. We wanted to try everything. Success or no success, great become or stay small, that didn't occur to us. A band has its own dynamic, you can't plan that. When we got success that was nice, but what do you do with it? A person has to follow his intuition. Even if after ten years you are no longer as free as when you started, but you still have to try to continue working from a certain naivety. Switch back to the time when you were uninhibited about your music. It was Picasso who said later in life that he had spent his entire life going back to painting like a child again. That's it: learn everything and forget it again. We try and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Of course you can't take it too literally, because you grow as a person and you become always influenced by new things. But it's a good starting point."
That said, Rammstein isn't enough to fully satisfy any of the members' creativity. Kruspe doesn't want to limit himself, so he puts some of the music he writes aside for other projects. "New York helps me with that. When I'm there, I'm not so on top of Rammstein. And that makes it easier for me to write and play. In a way, I've already put this album behind me and am working on new ideas. I'm working on it now with... I can't say too much about it. Not a band, but a nice project that will interest people."
Second single from Reise, Reise is Amerika, with the irresistibly cheerful chorus 'We're all living in Amerika, Amerika ist wunderbar' (later on it becomes 'We're all living in Amerika, Coca-Cola, Wonderbra').
"The claim that Germans have no humor is outdated. Germany has become self-conscious in the last ten years - and humor comes when one develops self-awareness. America comes directly from our band humor. It is not a political statement, we don't do that.
I believe that everything in life should be in balance. You don't eat the whole cake, a slice is enough. A look at America shows us that there is a lot of imbalance there. America controls the entire world and that's a bit much. But it is not a black and white story. It also depends on the people themselves, in the US and abroad. I remember the first time I drank Coca-Cola. Man, that was cool. It tasted good, it felt good, the marketing of that brand worked perfectly for me. That's nice, isn't it? It's just done well. Now I know how much sugar is in it, how bad it is for you. I make a choice. Anyone can do that. Coca-Cola, Hollywood... It doesn't take much effort to look beyond that."
Rammstein broke through in America with Sehnsucht. David Lynch used the group in his film Lost Highway and a Lollapalooza tour did the rest. Kruspe: "I think that the theme and visualization of Sehnsucht came at exactly the right time for many American young people. However, in America everything moves very quickly. You can suddenly be successful, but also quickly forgotten. An American band must therefore tour endlessly, visit radio shows, make noise. As a German band, this is impossible, because you already put a lot of energy into your own country and Europe. When we toured for Mutter, we noticed that we simply no longer had the strength to tell the whole story again in America. Plus, after September 11, 2001, America took a much more cautious stance towards foreign groups. Patriotism was rampant, even when it came to pop music. Now it could be possible again. Rammstein has a certain cult status Rammstein is cool, you know. And in Germany it helps if you prove yourself in the US. They then look at you differently. America remains the largest music market; if you are big in Europe, then you want to go there. Not for the music itself. Interesting trends and developments no longer come from the States."
At the time of their first album Herzeleid (1995), Rammstein was a band from 'the former East Berlin'. Nowadays those words have little value. Kruspe has seen Berlin change. "West Berlin was another world. The capital of darkness. A dark, depressive atmosphere. When I ended up there, I didn't feel at ease at all. [Kruspe fled via Hungary and Austria shortly before the fall of the wall from east to west.] Yes, West Berlin was essentially worse than East Berlin. Now you can also find a lot of cheerfulness in the city. East and west have drawn together and that gloomy thing that David Bowie, Iggy Pop and Nick Cave looked for on purpose that is largely a thing of the past."
"I am someone who feels at home somewhere quite quickly. Not in the sense of family or friends, but in a general sense. In New York it is easy to meet people, but it is very difficult to make friends. The city has so much energy, which I don't feel in Berlin. In New York, capital of the world, you want to go outside and feel part of something bigger, of a whole. In your apartment you feel lonely. In Berlin, capital of Germany, it is the other way around. There you feel lonely when you walk on the street and it's nice to be at home. Now I still fly back and forth. A month here, a month there, so I can't say that I feel completely at home in New York. I am someone who tries to live intuitively. I went from the countryside to the Berlin suburbs, then to Berlin itself, now to New York... I am a wanderer. After 25 years in and around Berlin 2), I also felt the call of other places ."
Back to Los for a moment. What sets that song apart from the rest of Rammstein's repertoire is the primal feeling that emanates from that acoustic riff. No associations with drinking and sailor songs, but American roots. Yet Kruspe says: "I have never been a fan of American rock culture. I liked English hard rock much more than American hard rock. Only with bands like Faith No MOre and 24-7 Spyz did I start listening to Americans. Metal in itself bored me. The aggression of Metallica, for example, did appeal to me, but I went more for the melodies of Judas Priest. What Americans I like now? Queens or The Stone Age. Dave Grohl. But I listen more to the latest Killing Joke or The Cure.
My own guitar sound remains very metal. Why? Well, why do men prefer to ride a Harley... A metal guitar wall is the nicest thing there is. It makes me lose my inner aggression. But you won't see me fiddling around for hours on all kinds of guitar runs, I find that really annoying. I once studied guitar for a year or two to get better, but don't ask me about my guitar heroes. I find Depeche Mode's Martin Gore infinitely more inspiring than any guitarist."
Reise, Reise will be released on September 27. Rammstein will play in Ahoy, Rotterdam on November 4 and 5.
--
Mein Teil
“They've got a sense of humor, those guys from Rammstein,” says Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys as he points to the fork and knife on the cover of Mein Teil (My Member), the first single from the album Reise Reise . The Pet Shop Boys made two remixes of the song at the request of the Germans. The illustration may seem funny, but the song - a hard and melodic song by Rammstein standards - is a serious tribute to the German cannibal and his dinner companion from a few years ago. Two decent middle-aged gentlemen - one hungry for man meat, the other offering himself as a meal - find each other on the internet. After some emails back and forth, they decide to make their lifelong dream come true. Before one goes into the freezer, they cut off the member of one together, fry it in oil and garlic and eat it. And that is true love, says Rammstein. That's why they call Mein Teil a love song.
Unlike the sinister duo, Rammstein and the Pet Shop Boys did not meet in cyberspace, but through a mutual acquaintance, German composer Torsten Rasch. Tennant: "We were impressed by Mein Herz Brennt, the song cycle that Rasch based on songs by Rammstein. That's why we recently asked him to make some film music with us." The Pet Shop Boys had been fans of the Berlin six-piece for years. Their conversations with the composer, who is friends with members of Rammstein, showed a mutual appreciation. "At one point Rasch suggested that we edit a Rammstein track," says Neil Tennant. That track became Mein Teil.
The synth duo has upped the tempo of the Wagnerian track, replacing Schneider's monumental drum parts with energetic techno beats. The Fassbinder soundtrack-like voices of sirens and the sounds of knife sharpening have made them even more prominent than in the original version. You can't call the remixes scary, but they clearly reflect what the eaten German probably heard in his head, thanks to all the antifreeze, schnapps and sleeping tablets he took to undergo the bizarre act.
---
Sea shanties & Drinking buddies
Schlagers, Rammstein, Reise, Reise
Of course there is no doubt that you are hearing Rammstein when you put on Reise, Reise. But where Sehnsucht and Mutter aimed directly at the metal and industrial audience with their ever-increasing bombast, the human element is given more space on this fourth studio album. That means fewer computers and electronics; a more traditional approach, if you will. Some songs are kept smaller than you are used to. Los even floats on an acoustic guitar riff and the concept of 'rest' no longer only serves the threat and dynamics. And even though the riffs in the heavy tracks like Mein Teil or Keine Lust ('Mir ist kalt'), Stein um Stein or Morgenstern are again sky-high and recorded fabulously (regular producer Jacob Hellner and mixer Stefan Glaumann), Reise, Reise can appeal to a broader audience than its predecessors. The choruses of Morgenstern and the title track are a hit with anyone with a bit of sailor's blood in their veins and that of America is perfect for drunkards who are not afraid to declaim trodden social-critical observations. Back to back with America is Moskau, which shows Rammstein at his most festive. On Mutter the ballad (Nebel) closed the album. On Reise, Reise the point of rest comes earlier: Ohne Dich, a song as gray as a drizzly November morning. That song is followed by 'love song' Amore, which is also played largely subdued and which refers to the theme of Mein Teil. In summary: no big surprises, enough variety, a solid new Rammstein.
--
1) Article really says 'Henry Hirsch', we know it is 'Heiko Hiersche'
2) i'm not sure if Richard means this literal, because 25 years at this point would mean that he was in Berlin from age 12, and i don't think that was the case, but maybe he means it more broadly
--
List of other Rammstein OOR interviews
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inardescere · 3 months
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@hancfubuki
The book's cover is a dark wine red, the hardcover giving it some weight, and smooth leather binding with golden thread stitching. There's a scribble of Kaveh's name on the lower right corner, inked in gold. On the inner side of the hardcover, there is a newly added scribble.
To Alhaitham, whom I hope to be more honest with.
XX XXXX
Ten days living with Alhaitham.
He hasn't changed.
He is a brat and infuriating.
I don't understand why he let me into his house. But I've been able to get a hold of plenty of job offers thanks to the palace's reputation.
Hopefully, I can make enough to move out soon.
XX XXXX
The client today was a pain!
They couldn't even make a decision on their own stall. Do they expect me to read their minds? It reminds me of a certain someone who doesn't speak and mutes their surroundings all the time.
At least he makes decent food.
XX XXXX
Tighnari and I had tea today.
Collei laughed at something I said, and I'm... Unsure how to feel about it. It wasn't supposed to be funny! Who in their right mind would buy such an ugly wooden carving? He tells me off for spending for the less fortunate and getting cute accessories and he goes buying crap from the market to fill his house!
Where's the logic in that?
XX XXXX
We got two dutars.
As expected, he can't play it. Surprisingly, he was willing to learn how to play.
He still has a temper but it was fun.
It reminded me of good times.
XX XXXX
Mehrak started beeping weirdly today.
She's alright now but the book Alhaitham brought home for a light read had come in handy. What luck! Living with a bookworm has its merits. I haven't run out of material to browse through on my days off.
XX XXXX
The sunsettias were so sweet today.
Why does it feel like I've had a lot of fruit in the past months?
Actually, I feel like I've been eating a lot recently. I didn't realize how loose my clothes had become while constructing the palace. Filling them in perfectly reminds me how gorgeous this design is. What you wear does make a difference to one's confidence!
I should get an outfit designed for Alhaitham. He keeps going around in those hideous clothes. Maybe that's why he's such a brat.
Reminder to book an appointment.
XX XXXX
I got keychains!
Alhaitham has no sense of aesthetics.
They were paying for the sick children but he just called it a scam! Surely, he understands that free healthcare doesn't just drop out of the sky. Maybe it's a donation to the Birmastan, he would never know!
Either way, I got a cute lion keychain. This way, he won't take my keys by mistake.
XX XXXX
HE KEEPS TAKING MY KEYS THE INFURIATING BRAT!!!
XX XXXX
I hate him I'm never talking to him ever again.
Next time I write, I'll have found a new place for myself!
Good Night!
XX XXXX
I didn't get persuaded by the wine. He just looked too pitiful so I couldn't say no.
Besides, it's not good to let a whole crate of good wine go to waste!
XX XXXX
I just had the best academic debate.
After leaving the Akademiya, there's been plenty of hardships and there wasn't any time when I was not testing my creativity and the capacity of my knowledge to create. But it's not common to have a debate over knowledge, exchanging theories and knowledge outside of the narrow understanding that normal citizens have.
It was fun.
We had some spats and arguments over topics often while living together, but we had material to look over and analyze as we debated as if we were students again.
It made me remember why I loved his eyes.
XX XXXX
When I got back home, there was dinner.
We've been taking turns getting takeout when we're both home to have dinner together. I feel like we've been eating together every day for a while.
Today was a weird day.
It just felt good.
XX XXXX
It's been a year.
My debt is nowhere near gone and I feel suffocated.
It's too comfortable here. Maybe finding a place of my own will make me feel better. I wouldn't have to deal with our arguments every other day. Renting a room far from the city might be cheaper.
I can't keep wanting things I can't have.
XX XXXX
I had a dream.
It's because I wrote a stupid log last night.
XX XXXX
I feel like we're fighting even more than usual.
I'm already miserable and a mess. Does he just want to push it in my face again that my ideals are futile?
Then again, he probably doesn't care.
XX XXXX
It's been a few months since I last wrote in this book.
Nothing has really changed, but a lot has. Some truths have come to light.
Learning about what happened to Father, I'm still uneasy. But the weight is just a bit lighter. To think that Alhaitham had figured it out somehow. When did he even have the time to go find this information when he's supposed to be busy being a judge? I can't believe he even agreed to be one. It doesn't sound like him at all. I swear, you never know what he's thinking.
... But truly, I am grateful.
If only he knew how to be a bit cuter. He's such a brat I want to knock him a few pegs down! How dare he make fun of his senior like that! Even though I was being so serious, he just tries to tease me. No respect, I tell you!
I will forgive him because I smell cheese from the kitchen. My favorite!
XX XXXX
I can't bring myself to go home.
We didn't fight today. But Alhaitham woke up late since it was his day off and his hair was sticking everywhere. I touched him without thinking and he looked at me. I know that look.
I'm mistaken, though.
We put that behind us.
Don't get your hopes up, Kaveh.
XX XXXX
We fought.
But we cuddled and slept together after the fight. So... we made up? I don't know what to do or think. Things can't go back to how it was before.
Can I stay here?
XX XXXX
How did he know that I have sketches of him? Is he going through my sketchbooks? Are you reading this now, Haitham?
I won't forgive you if you do!
But even he's not as tactless as to read someone's diary...
... ...
Yet he keeps playing with me, saying he'd pose if I asked. As if! If he keeps joking like that I'll take him seriously and make him do some stupid poses till he's embarrassed and red! Have him vulnerable and open to critical eyes and see if he can take it!
XX XXXX
I know I don't need to do anything special. Although I know it logically, I can't help but feel like there's nothing I can do for him. There's a part of me that feels spoiled, it's not in me to just stay still. Yet I always end up giving in.
He shows affection so openly now. I should try my best too...
XX XXXX
Things are moving too fast.
Who talks about marriage a month into a relationship?!
I'm crazy!
I'm so crazy!!!!
But I designed rings since he was so stubborn about making wooden ones I wanted to prove him wrong. I can make them just fine!
[Inserts sketches of the design and multiple scribbled notes of materials taped on this page]
XX XXXX
I don't know what to write today.
Everything is too perfect, I feel like it'll all come crumbling down if I let go of myself.
Today's a good day to bring out a bottle from my birthday stash. One last bottle for good luck. Let loose and forget everything for a night. Maybe Alhaitham will be inclined to join me. I'll share since he was so good to me last night.
XX XXXX
Cyno gives good advice sometimes.
I'm glad I've got good friends.
Alhaitham agreed to get officially married. Papers and all. I didn't think I would be the one to want that. It seemed and still feels more like something he would like, but... It makes me happy.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
XX XXXX
I've been looking for a gem to match the one on his chest.
After hearing about the possibility of it being linked to the divine, finding one with similar properties seems even further out of reach than it was before. I'm not giving up though. Even if it means making it on my own, I want to present an accessory with it to him.
I worried that maybe I was still desperate to prove myself and find something I could do for him. But whenever I tell myself to throw the idea away if it bothers me so much, the desire for it grows stronger. As with all things, there is no clear-cut answer to whether I can keep my personal feelings and doubts from controlling my actions and beliefs.
But as I've told the traveler, I think that's fine and who I am. It's my new passion project because I can't stop the desire to do it.
XX 1102
Happy Birthday, Alhaitham.
I thought of many presents I could gift you, and I've already prepared them! But when I came back to my room, I found this diary on my desk and while reading, I started thinking about us.
Even if you decide to be a brat and tease me to no end, there are things in this diary that I can't put into words properly anymore. Some things, I could not say out loud.
I'm not trying to mimic what your grandmother did, but after finding my mother's diary I realized that reading through written memories of our loved ones or letters for you are incredibly sentimental things that bring a semblance of peace and connection I hadn't truly comprehended before. So, I leave this with you. There are still many pages left as I used this only on occasion, so feel free to fill it in if you please, or keep it blank.
Again, happy birthday.
I love you, Haiyi.
Thank you for being born.
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mercyluvsyouuu · 2 months
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Guh it's 2 am and I don't really care enough to proofread this but I'm listening to have a nice life and I wanted to share things thing I found in my notes app so have fun with it I guess
"Human," the angel spoke, "what is it that makes your species so special? Surely you don't have anything even close to what my kind has."
The human laughed and shook their head. "What does your kind have that we don't? I'd argue that we're pretty similar."
The angel put its finger up to one of its many faces and thought for a moment, before putting its hand out in front of the human. Its hand had a soft, glowing light seemingly coming from nowhere. it flickered like a small flame—gentle and frail.
"Your kind surely can not create light, can it? It's simply not possible, for a being to create such a divine thing from just their hands."
Once again, the human could only laugh. The angel narrowed 2 sets of its eyes at the animal standing before it, almost as to signify confusion.
"How long has it been since you've visited humans last? Of course we can! Just you wait."
The human put on their gloves and took the angels hand, leading them out to a large football field. They stood in the very middle of the field, and the floodlights turned on, spilling out onto the field and illuminating the whole area. The angel could only stare up in awe.
"How?" The angel asked.
"We don't rely on gifted magic like your kind does, my friend. We started from nothing and built up. We learned about the rules of the world your father had given us, and we took advantage of them. We learned, and we adapted. I might not have wings, or four sets of arms, or an incomprehensible face, but I have millions of people before me. And I have millions of people after."
"What a.. honorable way to live." The angel mumbled, still staring up at the lights in awe. "But surely, there has to be something you don't have."
"Like what?" The human asked.
Once again, the angel thought for a moment before pulling a small picture from somewhere in its body.
"Look at my brothers and sisters. They all work so dutifully to do what they're needed for. Surely your kind couldn't even dream of such a thing? Your bodies tire, you need to eat, sleep, and have time to yourself. Is that not inferior?" The angel asked.
The human once again giggled, grabbing the hand of the angel and leading them to a great, big factory.
Machinery whirred, moving in perfect motions over and over without rest. All in perfect harmony with each other. Everything sings.
"What is this..?" The angel asked, taking in the smell of metal with the strange sensors it had on its face.
"You've never seen machines before, have you? We don't need to work ourselves down to the bone anymore, my friend. We've moved past it. We use our heads before we use our bodies, and that way we can use our bodies to make beautiful things like this! You mightve had this ability to begin with, but we worked our way up to this point. We learned."
"This must've taken years to build, let alone to come up with!"
"The time will pass anyway, won't it?"
The angel sighed. "..I suppose you're right."
"Is there truly nothing your species can't do?" The angel continued, wings twitching along to sound of the machinery whirring, almost as if subconsciously mimicking it.
"There's plenty of things we can't do," said the human, "for example, I would give anything to fly as freely as you. To be able to walk among the stars and see brothers and sisters. To be so peacefully one with everything, and the intelligence to accept that."
"But you already can do that, you know that right?" Said the angel, to which the human looked up in surprise. They squinted their eyes in an attempt to look at the creature fully, but to no avail.
"What do you mean?"
The angel was the one taking the others hand now. It led them far, far away from anywhere the human had ever seen before. Everything was impossibly colored and upside down, it was so full that it looked empty. Everything sings.
"This is you, my friend. It is me as well. We are both a small part of a bigger picture, yes. But who's to say that isn't important? What would the very universe be if it wasn't for the millions of atoms holding it together? You are the universe expressing itself. You are an art piece created by our father. And that in of itself is a blessing unlike anything else." The angels voice sounded so out of place yet exactly where it belonged at the same time. It was like looking in a mirror, backwards but the same.
The human was speechless. Yet, they reached their hand out to the full emptiness that was in front of them. It reached out back. Everything sang.
"I guess we both proved ourself wrong, didn't we?" The human whispered.
"That we did."
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Fictober '23 Prompt No. 17/18 — "I never said it would be easy."/"We can't do this on our own."
Category: Original WIP: Partners trilogy Rating: T Timeline: pre-trilogy, 1940s CW: none Word Count: 862 Additional Notes: I can't be bothered with the math of it all but it's probably '43/'44.
***
Ben stared like a mopey child as Reagan counted out coins on the table. Only three other people occupied a single booth of the diner, closer to the door; a trio of young women enjoying a late-night dinner and laughing among themselves.
"Mm-hm," Reagan hummed definitively, taking his wallet back out of the breast pocket of his jacket and shuffling a dollar bill from its folds.
"Ooh, big spender," Ben grumbled.
As Reagan slid the wallet back into its pocket, he caught the eye past Ben's shoulder of at least one of the ladies in the other booth. He flashed them a smile and Ben could not see but heard immediate giggles and titters, indicating Reagan had once again loosed an impeccably aimed arrow of charm at complete strangers and nailed the target on the bullseye.
Ben rolled his eyes and turned to peer at the women. They'd gone back to their conversation, likely revolving around Reagan now, throwing him the occasional glance with blushes creeping across their faces.
"I've been talkin' to Haps over at the Crystal Swing," Reagan said quietly. "He's lettin' us take a couple nights to see how we do, and then, if we bring in a crowd, maybe he'll set us up for a stretch."
When Ben turned back, he took a sip of the soda from the straw in front of his face and shrugged. "Sure."
"Got somethin' to say?"
Reagan's tone was low and private, but the crooked grin on his face betrayed the fact that he knew exactly what was keeping Ben in a dour mood. Ben tried not to dwell too much on the fact that Reagan's attention was now unmistakably on him.
"Why wouldn't we bring in a crowd, Reggie?" Ben challenged. His brows pinched together. "Explain to me why we'd be shit up a creek without even gettin' a decent chance."
"Benny—"
The rise of Ben's ire summoned a muffled chuckle from within Reagan, but Ben ignored it. "Nobody's gonna take us seriously if we don't get our shit together and find a damn manager. We can't do this on our own."
"A manager is gonna cost us money we don't currently have," Reagan said levelly.
"Money we somehow had to buy the house we live in right now?" Ben didn't miss the smile dropping from Reagan's face. "Am I the only one takin' this seriously?"
Whatever levity Reagan harbored disappeared. He made a face as if he wanted to say something else, then shook his head and settled on, "I spent the whole week callin' around the city for a place that'll give us a chance. What have you done?"
Ben waved the admittedly precise point away. "I've been workin' on a song. Alright? I started some music, I just need the lyrics."
The smile he was rewarded then made the whole of Ben's insides cook to roughly the temperature of Reagan's still-steaming coffee. "You didn't tell me that."
Ben watched a man enter the diner and sit himself at the counter, setting a briefcase on the stool beside him. "Maybe I don't gotta tell you everything goin' on, ever think about that?"
Reagan leaned forward. "Uh-huh. You've been my best friend for just about fifteen years, we live together, we're trying to start a career together, we sometimes sleep in the same bed, and now you wanna establish boundaries?"
"Reggie," Ben pleaded. "We need a manager. One who will make all those asinine calls for us. One who knows the ins and outs. I don't know what kind of sick play you've got goin' here, but gigs like us are a dime a dozen. We've gotta stand out."
"We do stand out, baby," Reagan muttered. "Wanna know why?"
"I don't think I could handle it," Ben groaned.
Reagan ticked off a list on his fingers. "We go beyond brothers, beyond best friends, we've got in our pockets the best pianist this side of Vienna, and I've been known to carry a tune around with some semblance of grace."
Ben fought the urge to roll his eyes again at Reagan's unapologetic and dramatic downplaying of his own talent.
"We're gonna be okay," Reagan said. "I never said it would be easy. It's probably gonna be the hardest thing we've ever done. We'll get a manager in time. It's gonna work."
The smile he gave Ben this time was small, warm, confident. If there was anybody in his life that could make him feel as if he were the only one in the universe that mattered, it was Reagan.
"Okay," Ben said, taking another sheepish sip of his soda. "Fine. Just know I'm puttin' my whole life in your giant, baby-smooth hands."
Reagan brought his cup to his lips and blew some of the steam away. "And you know I got it cradled to my heart like it were mine."
It was Ben's turn to attempt to hide his furious blushing. "Okay. I get it."
They finished their beverages, paid the waitress a dollar after which Reagan insisted she keep the change, and on the way out of the diner, he didn't even bless the three young women with another look.
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When we do reach out for help, we're told our symptoms are something different from what we described💀
Migraines have been bothering me for months. I've said little to the doctor since they've increased in severity. Today I reached out because its become unbearable.
My qualified medical professional told me my migraine is from "tension in the neck"
I'm living in the dark because of the physical pain light is causing. I've told the doctor this. It's like I'm being hit in the head with a bat. My eyes actually go puffy and swell when at it's peak. It makes me feel sick. I get horrific pain even when laughing/trying to enjoy my existence. I go lightheaded. It takes my breath away.
My neck pain comes at the end of the day of having a migraine, like my skull is now too heavy to hold itself up. It's a symptom of the migraine.
My healthcare advice you ask? Neck stretches.
*fucking* neck stretches.
Do they think I sit here, not trying anything and everything? Do they think that I relish life in silence, where my own breathing is all I hear for days because everything else is knives in my ears and a spike to the skull? If Kerplunk the game was migraine, its my head.
I am fucking sick of this and it's broken me.
I am sick of asking for help, from the people we've been told our whole lives CAN/WILL, to be so let down on every level. Even for something as simple as migraine.
We're living in a world where we're told to reach out when we struggle. I am fucking screaming and nobody hears me. They hear what they want to hear.
I've been dead for years in the eyes of society. Nobody cares.
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i swear to god if this sets off a flare im at the end of my rope
Those videos of barbers over-watering clients hair, are really apt to the gaslighting in healthcare/medical community.
"That's enough water"
"Nah not yet bro"
"My head hurts"
"It's your neck actually hun"
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the-haunted-office · 1 year
Note
The whole post-apocalypse is tiring for Ena while Mizuki keeps using the gun that Cube gave them to shoot whatever is coming at them. For all they know, after getting out, they were chased by something, so they kept running until they find another random building and go inside while Ena shut the door as hard as she can.
Ena has to take some breaths as the run wore her out. "Ahhhh... I never wanted to experience that ever again! We've run for our lives while the haunted school is probably laughing at us right now!"
"But, Ena, we need to find a way to either find the cure or just find a way to get back to the haunted school."
Ena just looks at Mizuki, wondering how the hell they're not fazed by the whole thing they encounter. "Anyway, I guess we can sleep here for the night...as long as there are no creatures here that aren't going to kill us out there." @haunted-girls-talk
Luckily for Ena and Mizuki, the building they just ran into is not one of the carnivorous ones tucked among the friendlier ones. Had they gone into one of the carnivorous buildings, they'd have found themselves shut inside in total darkness and slowly digested over the course of the next 24-48 hours.
The building they just entered is a fairly large older building, one that was once used as a convention center and an adjoining hotel for the business folks who attended them. This particular species is relaxed enough to allow other living things to wander its halls and explore its rooms.
There is plenty to be seen. Since everything was abandoned long ago, much of the interior has fallen into a state of disarray. Paint long since peeled off the walls. Carpet worn away or otherwise buried under rubbish and dirt and all manner of animal droppings and bones and other detritus. The remains of an impressive chandelier lay in the middle of one room, the glass long ago buried under filth, although the metal structure of it remains like the skeletal corpse of an ancient creature.
Scattered everywhere are little snails with colorful spiral designs on their shells. They are simply everywhere, all over everything, oozing slowly over all the rubbish and walls and railings.
A howling sound winds its way through the convention center, echoing throughout the empty hallways and rooms, creating a deep rich sound that echos back in on itself. It's haunting, but one might also consider it beautiful.
Something is speaking to them.
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the-firebird69 · 13 days
Text
Paul McCartney - Band on the Run (Live)
youtube
He said he's laughing and saying sailor Sam is next door and I think it's you and he says oh boy so he started giggling you said what am I doing I don't know you're the band on the run it hasn't started yet or something so he's laughing going oh terrific and it's going on now looks like a whole bunch of little chips and it really is and they're coming out of the middle and they're heading towards the South if it looks like and then coming out of the ocean and it is going on no that's weather from ships and they are pseudo empire ships and to moving around out in the ocean they're actually looking for something and what does that look strange and there are a couple announcements we're going
-we have a period here where people are going to start becoming very odd they said and that was what they said about the warlock not really sure what they're talking about we are sure though they're going to be strange to people who are mean to them thinking they gained power or something. They're going to be mean to the pseudo empire because the foreigners are going to come in and us so it doesn't make sense so they're kind of hashing it out and they're saying we all sudden get something we've been very mean to him and our son says that you guys are falling and once you're doing bad things and getting caught at it some of you are moving to your areas and keeping it please know but the foreigners in mine have to move in here because of the macs and it's less to do with you than it is Mac proper and even these pseudo empire is somewhat of an ambiguity. And they are laughing because the name sounds like that. But he's right this is a time where these other two groups they're going to have to come in and try and pull their weight and stop the Max from being so absurd and they're at war with him they are realizing that it just don't know their place and they realize that they're and ruining their day and night but they're also getting them to do stupid things to people and they have to protect themselves more notably from being picked up by them for stuff and they say it like that and it's been going on here for a while so they do know what they're talking about with regards to they have to try and figure out what to do in the pseudo empire does too and I it would be a new day tomorrow and the following days be very different and the empire will probably retain its feet and slowly lose it but nowhere near abruptly has this happened they will lose it probably over a period of a year and people don't believe it but that's because they have so much stuff underground and they might get their Stone chips out that's going around too there's a huge buzz it's a lot of talking and a lot of guessing and theory and they want to know what are some things and he's saying this ebike tire is gigantic. It's true too it's as big as a big motorcycle like a real big one so besides that we have a weird weather pattern and it's from Stone ships dragging moisture up and pretty good too A lot of it and it's probably going to rain
-there is a huge contingent of empire ships that is trying to get to the United States and Florida the pseudo empire is terrified and they don't know what to do the are spaceships and they're trying to go over the airspace and they're being blocked by foreigners and us and they say why and we say because and they said that's where we are and we need to defend ourselves against morlock and things like that and would you fight their battles and there is a protocol but we have to control areas where are people might be let me know about it and so they are getting pretty pissed off and they're mad because Tommy f is still in the way and they can't get to him either but we simply can't let everybody run around here and it's true right now they're very hot and they want to kick him out there are a couple more things going on Tommy f is on the warpath against the max of course but people who were backstabbing and he's going to exact revenge so we have to stop him if he's trying to threaten her son for it to get whatever he thinks and there's other things too
-the foreigners are very upset at the empire they don't want them gaining power they realize it's going to be a little different and slower than thought but they're down there fighting and they have to stop them and we do too there's some game plans being made and we are as well it will be aggressive and the empire is going to complain we may experience problems and we're going to have to go through them and here is no different so we need to have our son in better shelter with communications that are better and have his friends talk to him and and be able to move and then right now it's ridiculous and these guys still want to extort and they're ridiculous right now we are forced to come in as the pseudo empire is coming in and they're dangerous and violent people and we are going to make sure they're stopped we're doing that now
-foreigners are also demanding entry has been a long time and they are realizing what the underworld really means and it is a lot of work but they're going to be here starting tomorrow and they'll have a presence and yeah the max morlock will be pushed down possibly even the pseudo empire we're not sure what the relationship will be it's always been kind of sour but they have had negotiations before it's coming up pretty quick there's a few other items the warlock are continuing to attack the pseudo empire they are up in the northern hemisphere of the western hemisphere and they are attacking those bunkers they're down to 35% but the ones in New England are still there the Eastern portion of the upper Midwest and Canada at that location and the West near BC Oregon and Washington but tonight massive armies are going there and they're going to try and take them down and it is going to be a massive war and we are going to be witness to it tonight and tomorrow. We have a couple more things we're going to print this is huge
Thor Freya
Olympus
Zues Hera
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scuse my weirdass rambles, i swear i have just put this place under a microscope /j. so many observations to be made lmao
listen, i was just scrolling through the undertronic tags for nostalgia and some writing ideas (there was one (1) fic on ao3, yaboi wouldn't be takin that). i didnt actually know there was even anything on there, i had never checked before. and honestly, seeing everything that had been posted onto there was a trainwreck of emotion. it was like scrolling through messages of a group of friend's chat and reminiscing memories, except they're not mine and i was never there. it's such a vivid feeling of absolute belonging to a place i was never present in, yaknow?
and then i saw y'all and couldn't stop thinking about it for days. the carrd caught my eye first because a) bro that's just a straight up sickass carrd holy shit and b) undertronic content?? in the wild?? lets go babey!! and then i looked into it more and just. man, i dont know what emotion it was, probably like all of the above. 'cause holy shit, i didn't know there were more people like me out there!! i thought we were the only system who had undertronic headmates that existed for years!! it didn't even cross my mind that it was possible for more to be out there. so reading through old pluralkit discord screenshots and posted conversations was like looking at something i had always longed for.
you guys looked like you were happy in those chats.
you didnt have to hide in those moments. i wanted to reach out and reply and laugh alongside the ghosts of these four year old conversations and say "i get it, i understand this, we've lived it too," because i've never talked with someone who had a chance of returning the sentiment to its full extent. man, it was like lookin in a mirror of what i wanted to see. and i know i'm crazy 'cause again, i wasn't there. you could argue i'm still not 'here', hiding behind signatures and pseudonym accounts.
i got what i came for, though. i have my never-ending nostalgia and a pile of fics to write. i just think that the inspiration doesn't come from the ideas i saw being laid out, but the people who did so and the inherent beauty of learning it the way i did.
anyway. again, pardon my over-analytical rambles. wanna go grab a cup of tea and bitch about life some time?
-💜💚
I feel the groupchat / belonging thing bcs that's how I feel when I look at old homestuck content (I didn't get into it until 2016, when it yk, ended)
Also oh my god *points* listen
Listen
We genuinely have like the whole cast of UT in our head because it's one of our spinterests (the other being aphmau ofc) so the fact that you also have UT headmates is so???? /pos I feel seen I feel less alone we get each other we shake hands
Ik it would take away the safeness of being anon but now I'm thinking of how fun it'd be to make a UT themed syscord server hrmm
Anyways I'm in tears anon /pos I would love to grab tea and bitch (as long as it's iced tea sorry im southern I don't drink it hot /j)
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girltomboy · 5 months
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Last week's self help course was interesting enough but not actually super helpful. It kind of pissed me off at times because of its occasional corporate dick riding tendencies. It was a welcome break from work though (with free lunch), so that was something to appreciate it for. I finally gave M the bracelet I got for her and she loved it and thanked me and said she owes me a gift now but she doesn't 😭 I was the one who owed her a gift for her birthday plus last year's secret Santa when she got me an alien necklace even though she wasn't my Santa!
On Friday we finished early, so M and I had enough time to go to her apartment, listen to some coworkers' funny calls, make dinner and eat, go to a random concert at the Christmas fair opening, and drink mulled wine. We had Saturday plans, so we didn't stay out too long, but it was nice and fun to roam through the crowd with her and watch the concert.
On Saturday I woke up at noon so I only had enough time to eat something, take a shower, and roll 2 joints for me and M to smoke at her place 😭 the plan was to make mulled wine, but smoking together has been a long time goal of ours, and we finally had the opportunity, since her flatmate went home for like a month or two. We met up to go and buy mulled wine and Sunday breakfast supplies, mulled the wine, then her cousin came over to pick up some money she owed him. And then overstayed his welcome when he heard I was staying over AND we were gonna order food. And he also messed up our plans to order from this new fast food place we've been talking about for ages, and instead convinced us to order from the cheapest, worst place 🤮 I'm pretty sure I got some sort of skin allergy from that fake cheeseburger I had, and it wouldn't even be the first time. Like a few hours later I saw a spot near my mouth that looked like a hickey but obviously wasn't one. Idk if it's still there 🤡 but I'm never eating from that place again.
Anyway, M's cousin wasn't even getting our jokes and just spent a few hours drinking cider and eating a grilled cheese wrap, and gossiping about M's flatmate. When he finally left, M and I went out on the balcony to smoke and we couldn't stop laughing, we kept having the exact same thoughts at the exact same time, our one shared brain cell kept getting activated like a ping pong ball between our skulls. When we went back inside we had to put on the videos we'd watched with her cousin again because they were just too funny and her cousin's presence prevented us from appreciating them to the fullest extent.
So we spent like hours watching random funny videos on youtube, then we decided to watch a horror movie we'd been wanting to watch at the cinema for ages, but we could never find the right tickets for it. So we watched It Lives Inside, and it was probably the worst horror movie I've ever seen in my entire life, hands down. I will make a separate post about it, but god I don't think I've seen a GOOD like GOOD GOOD horror movie from this year so far. They've all been either just bearable or downright awful like I can't believe the current state of horror. Anyway, it was entertaining because we kept laughing at the translated captions, and it was bad enough to tire us out. Afterwards M kept asking me what else I wanted to watch, and I was already sleepy so I kept being like idk whatever you want, and we got stuck in this cycle of indecision, but we ended up going to sleep.
On Sunday we woke up at 8 then went back to sleep until 11, M scrolled through youtube looking at food and I played with her little hamster. Then we made breakfast, ate, watched some more youtube videos, and I left. I ended up smoking the second joint at home by myself, I ate some snacks I had from last week and played video games with my friends the whole evening. They pissed me off a lot, not just because of the game. At some point my bf yelled and I told him to shut up and he got more pissed off, which made me upset and I'm only gonna talk to him after he apologizes. Like I'm just not gonna accept that u yell when you're angry at a game, especially when it's your fault + you complain and hate it when other people yell. And he was like "I'm not gonna change how I react" and "expect to have other fights about this" umm I really don't think that's gonna happen lol. What do you think goes through my head when the person I'm in a relationship with says those things to me? Am I just gonna be like "okay! yay🤗" Like don't be surprised that I'm upset with you and not speaking to you if you downright refuse to work on your toddler reactions and also warn me of future conflicts? Ur gonna be fighting your own demons cause I won't be there for that
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