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xenosagaepisodeone · 1 day

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For the last 2 weeks I've been transfixed on a strain of lost media I've come to call "bad memory induced media", where the supposed media in question does not (or at least more than likely does not) exist, but there are swaths of people convinced that they have definitely seen it at some point. There is rarely anything more to go off of for the hunt than a vague summary outlined in a post on some forum, but the lack of specificity allows people to fill in the blanks with similar types of media that they've seen, giving them the impression that they've already experienced it. I've found that this is extremely common for alleged lost shock media in particular, which isn't surprising. I talked a little about this on my LOL SUPERMAN post, and I get the impression that a similar strain of logic applies on a smaller scale.

Anyway, 2 major cases I have been looking at for a while are Saki Sanobashi/Go For A Punch and Evil Farm Game. Saki Sanobashi in particular fascinates me because an urban legend like this should have crumbled to the wayside by like 2018 at the latest, since that's when anime more or less became demystified to normal people. The basic premise is that it is an 80s/90s horror anime about anywhere from 4-8 girls trapped in a bathroom. The girls talk about their lives, hopes, dreams and philosophies before slowly going insane and dying one by one. If you like horror stuff you probably are already getting the vague impression that it sounds familiar- which could be influenced by any swath of media artifacts from Saw to the Russian Sleep Experiment creepypasta to the Ikea SCP to ClockUp's Euphoria to snippets of Battle Royale to that one Grisaia no Kajitsu arc. OP insisted he found it fully subbed on the deep web (omegalul) and hasn't found a trace of it since, implying some kind of murky origin or legal status (the OVA is not pornographic btw). As you can probably tell, I think this is silly. Like, so much goes into anime production that it would be difficult to hide any traces of this thing's existence. Someone had to voice act those girls. Someone had to sit hunched over a desk and draw that settei. OVAs were such a new thing in the 80s and 90s that both sfw and nsfw series were advertised in magazines. The only way that this could be so lost that not even a MAL entry remains is if it had been a student/indie production or something made for a single comiket event...but even at that....you're telling me that someone still managed to rip this from a vhs and subtitle it? And then chose to upload it to the deep web instead of youtube? even the title sounds like something google translated but didnt format correctly ("Saki Sanobashi" being gibberish while "Saki-san no Bashi" translates to "Saki-san's Bridge").

And yet there are people who will say "I definitely saw this at some point" because they saw a reaction image similar to the alleged scene where the protagonist smashes someone's head into a mirror. "The neck scratching death sounds familiar...." because you watched a higurashi amv! And OP did too, and thought it was so creepy that he involved it in his fake story. It's almost grating how much you have to suspend your disbelief to embrace that something like this exists in the exact way that stories like this insist. While many people have accepted that the series is likely not real in the last 4 or so years, there still persists a cohort of people hunting for Saki Sanobashi, likely because they are kids who are now too old to believe in Squidward's Suicide.

Evil Farm Game gives me a chuckle because it goes like this: a redditor posts to r/tipofmytongue about an old flash game where you play as a farmer who kills his wife and then has to hide her body while going about his farm tasks. The setup is completely fine and actually kind of reminiscent of a few story driven flash games I played on newgrounds as a kid. Many people came forward insisting that they had played this as well, one person even producing a link to a file from their hard drive that they couldn't open, but strongly believed that the game was there. A subreddit was even created to support the search. The twist is that it was a misremembered joke from a vinesauce stream.

Everyone knows that memory is an extremely fallable thing; people can be coaxed into believing that they did or saw things that they didn't with the correct prompts. What gets me is that a lot of people on the hunt for "bad memory induced media" seem to largely be hyping themselves up. They want to believe there is something that exists against all reason no matter what. It's chuuni in nature. Do not get me wrong- the interest in finding a cool, mysterious, haunting piece of media isn't lost on me, but dog, the dopamine hit of finding a previously lost 1985 commercial for almonds in a box of vhs tapes you got from eBay is the same.

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dravikso · 3 days

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Canon be damned I'm making a backstory AU for the bishops and it's been living in my head rent free. Couple of sketches while I'm finishing my pfp drawing (that's also part of the AU)

AU rambling below the cut

I think that in canon the sibling dynamic is more of a 'brothers in arms' thing... but I just find it really interesting to think about what circumstances could have led the bishops to become as reprehensible as they do, outside of power corrupting them over the course of millennia (found family that genuinely care for one another but inadvertently feed into each others' insecurities in an unhealthy way. The power aspect doesn't help)

The other reason I wanted to make this AU thought it would be interesting to have all the bishops meet under different circumstances. Leshy and Heket are travelling alone for years before they meet Shamura and Narinder in this AU, and Kallamar is the last to join the group. All of these feed into the dynamics between them.

Don't want to say too much because I want to explore most of this in comic form and any more would probably lean too far into spoiler territory but... yeah. Heads up, focus will be mostly on Heket and Leshy for the foreseeable future because I've focused on building up their backstory the most so far. They're also the only characters I've figured out designs for LOL

(Quick note: the drawings are of their designs when they're both 13, but they have a roughly 5 year gap between them so the two designs are for different points in the story)

#I need to stop giving characters ponchos I do NOT know how to draw them #oh my god my dumbass hid the watermark on the Leshy drawing and forgot to make it visible when exporting the image noooo #I've updated the original post but :( reblogs. caught this waaaay too late #leshy cotl #Heket cotl #days long past cotl #cotl bishops #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #my art #art

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startanewdream · 10 hours

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Rational, for today's @jilymicrofics

"Together," Remus repeats slowly. "You and Lily are going to Hogsmeade... together."

Remus purses his lips but he doesn't add any comment, his voice barely betraying a hint of amusement. James could always count of him for discretion — a quality that Sirius does not possess.

"So is it a date?"

James chokes, pumpkin juice spilling from his open mouth, face tinting of a deep red. Next to him and looking imensely undisturbed, Lily pats his back calmly.

"Be serious," is all she says.

"Oh, I was. Am. Cannot not be." Sirius is smirking and, unfortunately, far enough that James cannot kick his shin. "Some things just are—like two people going out on a trip, alone, just the two of them... that's usually called a date."

"It's not," Lily replies dignifiedly, even as, under the table, her hand traces James', drawing soft circles on his open palm. "You know we are Heads."

Sirius glances at the badge on James' robes, a familiar frown on his forehead. "As if I could forget."

James breathes again; he can do this silly banter and he knows his well-rehearsed line. "We need to escort the Third Years in their first trip today."

"And you are going together because—"

"It's rational." Lily hesitates for a heartbeat before glancing at James. Her voice softens. "We work better together."

And now her expression cracks for a moment; her sentence was innocent enough that it could mean all the time they spent together as Head Boy and Head Girl, all the plans and shifts, patrolling the halls, watching detentions, or all those infinite meetings that could have been owl mail. But when their eyes meet, James knows she is thinking about later: the innocent then not-so-innocent touches and lingering looks, and, later, the kisses they never pretend were innocent at all.

There is a smile at the corner of her lips now — one that challenges very much their resolution of keeping things low between them until, at least, after this first date — but luckily, no one else seems to notice it. James is quite safe that they've fooled everyone.

That's an illusion that's broken on the narrow street behind the Hog's Head, when loud claps interrupt a kiss that could never be considered innocent.

"You forgot a detail, Padfoot" Peter is saying, smirking. "Two people going out on a trip and making out—that's definitely a date."

"I don't know... Remus, you are the prefect. Snogging other prefects is a requirement?"

"Not that I've been informed."

"Right, or else I might have been more interested in the job."

"No, you wouldn't," James says, recovering his voice.

"Yeah..." Sirius considers it for a moment before winking at them. "So, Evans, remind me of how serious should I be."

"Oh, shut it," she says, sticking her tongue at him and refusing to let go of James' hand, something he is quite content with.

"We are Heads," he says, echoing her words. "After so many hours alone, it was only rational we'd end up snogging."

#jily microfic #505 words #not proud but hey if i don't write again i never will #jily

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black-arcana · 17 hours

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NIGHTWISH Announces 'Yesterwynde' Album, 'Perfume Of The Timeless' Single

Symphonic metal veterans NIGHTWISH will release their new album, "Yesterwynde", on September 20, 2024 via Nuclear Blast. It marks the band's tenth studio album, following on from the release of "Human. :II: Nature." in 2020.

NIGHTWISH keyboardist and main songwriter Tuomas Holopainen states: "'Yesterwynde' is a fantastical voyage through time, memory, and the better angels of human nature.

"Three years in the making, we're thrilled beyond words to soon share our tenth album with the world!"

The album's first single, "Perfume Of The Timeless" will arrive on May 21.

"Yesterwynde" track listing:

01. Yesterwynde 02. An Ocean Of Strange Islands 03. The Antikythera Mechanism 04. The Day Of... 05. Perfume Of The Timeless 06. Sway 07. The Children Of 'Ata 08. Something Whispered Follow Me 09. Spider Silk 10. Hiraeth 11. The Weave 12. Lanternlight

In January, NIGHTWISH drummer Kai Hahto spoke about the band's upcoming follow-up to 2020's "Human. :II: Nature." album in an interview with Laureline Tilkin of Tuonela Magazine. He said: "At least it's not gonna be the same as 'Human. :II: Nature.', so… Probably, let's say that we go back to more heavy, heavier things on the new album, but also there's a lot of, again, new winds to blow, so to speak. So, different new elements. But, of course, it's still NIGHTWISH, but, of course, we brought back the big symphony orchestra again to the new upcoming tenth album. Yeah, it's gonna be exciting. And quite challenging music to play as well."

Asked if he is "in a way happy" that he doesn't have to play the new NIGHTWISH songs live right now, in light of the fact that the band is taking a break from touring for the foreseeable future, Kai said: "No, no, no. Totally opposite. I would love to go and play it live. But hopefully the time will come when we go back, charging the batteries first. Of course, it's nice to be home with the kids and wife and dogs, but still, of course, I've always been a player, so I also like to play for the people. But I believe I'm not gonna be bored. So I have a lot of things in the back of my head. Even NIGHTWISH is now taking a break. So, I'm not gonna be bored."

Earlier in January, Hahto told Chaoszine that "it looks like" NIGHTWISH won't play any shows in the next two or three years.

In April 2023, NIGHTWISH surprised fans by announcing that the band was not going to be playing any live shows for the foreseeable future and would be not be touring in support of the group's next studio album.

NIGHTWISH's statement read as follows: "As the 'Human :ll: Nature - World Tour' is drawing to a close, we feel now is the time to tell you of our plans for the next phase in our journey.

"After the planned shows for June 2023 we will be 'hanging up our spurs' for an indeterminate time, as far as live concert performances go, and won't be touring the next album.

"The reasons for this decision are personal, but, we all agree, vital to the wellbeing and future of the band. Be assured that we still love working together, and this decision has nothing to do with Floor's pregnancy or our other individual projects.

"However, an album of 12 new songs will see bright daylight in 2024, as will 3 music videos! The band is positively hyped beyond words over this new upcoming musical adventure."

In December 2022, Holopainen said NIGHTWISH's upcoming follow-up to "Human. :II: Nature." will be the third part of a trilogy that began with 2015's "Endless Forms Most Beautiful" album. He told Metal Hammer: "I immediately knew after getting that album ['Endless Forms Most Beautiful'] done that, 'Okay, we have to do more songs about this, because there's so much more to explore and tell the world. We're not done with this.' And the same thing happened after 'Human. :II: Nature.'; we're still not done. So let's do one more. At least one more.

"In a way, [the next album] is the third part of a trilogy, which started with 'Endless Forms…' and then 'Human. :II: Nature.' There are some major surprises there again, but it feels like a natural continuation to 'Human. :II: Nature.'"

According to Tuomas, NIGHTWISH's next LP will cover previously uncharted ground while continuing in the more cinematic style that has characterized some of the band's recent efforts.

In September 2022, Tuomas was asked if NIGHTWISH's upcoming LP will once again be an exploration of evolutionary science, as was the case with the previous two releases. Tuomas said: "Yes and no. It sails on the same waters, but there's some new surprises there as well."

In August 2022, Tuomas told Rock Sverige that he spent "about a year" working on the music and lyrics for the next NIGHTWISH album.

Asked if he got any kind of inspiration from the pandemic, Tuomas said: "Yeah, lyrically there's a couple of things that reflects the pandemic, but not in the way you would expect."

"Human. :II: Nature." was released in April 2020. The follow-up to 2015's "Endless Forms Most Beautiful" was a double album containing nine tracks on the main CD and one long track, divided into eight chapters, on CD 2.

In August 2022, NIGHTWISH announced the addition of Jukka Koskinen (WINTERSUN) as an official member of the band. Koskinen, who made his live debut with NIGHTWISH in May 2021 at the band's two interactive experiences, had spent the previous year touring with NIGHTWISH as a session musician.

In November 2022, singer Floor Jansen revealed that she was "cancer free" after recently undergoing surgery to have a tumor removed following a breast cancer diagnosis.

This past October, Floor and SABATON drummer Hannes Van Dahl welcomed their second child, a daughter named Lucy. Jansen and Van Dahl already have a seven-year-old daughter named Freja, who was born on March 15, 2017.

Photo credit: Tim Tronckoe (courtesy of Nuclear Blast)

#nightwish #yesterwynde #perfume of the timeless

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hachyxd-blog · 1 day

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Ray´s B-day fanfic <3

"Today, years ago, my favorite yandere was born from all the visual novels I've had the fortune to see or play. I can separate fiction from reality, but I don't think I'm the only one who would like to be there to hug Ray and give him a little peace. As a small gift, I wanted to make a short fanfic of my coffee addict alongside a little drawing to complement it. I apologize in advance if it's not understood well, English is not my language and I'm using a translator."

@concreteparasite Gracias por crear tal maravilla.

Happy birthday.

Who would have thought it would be possible to keep a secret from the great Binary star. Mc laughed happily in the kitchen as she finished washing the dishes. It had been just over a year since she moved into Ray's home. At first, it wasn't easy; it seemed like the option to leave was given, or rather, it was never up for discussion. After much talking, they managed to make it work together: Mc wouldn't be confined to her new home, but she would always stay in touch with Ray when she went out.

Truth be told, it's not like she could keep a secret from him; after all, he possessed the incredible ability to read minds, but she trusted him not to read hers all the time. Mc really believed it was impossible to turn on her mind... until she discovered it. On her maternal side, she spoke Spanish, and unconsciously she had been thinking in that language, discovering a weakness to Ray's ability. He seemed annoyed that he couldn't fully understand, but there was nothing he could do.

Today, in particular, he seemed very upset. I concentrated as best I could so that the only language I thought in was Spanish and not to ruin the surprise.

"Tell me what you're thinking..." Ray's voice appeared behind me, his hands wrapped around my hips as he rested his chin on my shoulder. The height difference between us was cute.

"I'm not thinking anything important," I said playfully.

"Stop," he said seriously.

"What?"

"You've been thinking in Spanish all day," His voice sounded annoyed, while I tried to contain my laughter.

"Really? I didn't realize."

"It's annoying."

"Well, darling. It's not the end of the world if you don't know everything that's going on in my mind."

Without responding, Ray left me alone in the kitchen and headed to our room, then came out in his superhero suit. Before me was Binary Star in all his glory, the only difference being that he didn't show that fake smile but still looked upset.

Unknowingly, due to my practice, I had been thinking in Spanish again.

Normally, he would give me a kiss goodbye and go to his vigil shift. But today, he flew off the balcony without looking at me. I won't deny that it hurt me. But it meant I was on the right track to keep the surprise.

Ray came back around 5 in the morning. Half-asleep, I felt him walking around the room before lying down on the other side of our bed. It seems he's still upset because he didn't hug me as he always does.

The next morning, I let him sleep, it helped that we slept separately, so I got out of bed easily. After putting on my robe, I went downstairs and asked the neighbor for my package. I had gotten a chocolate cake with coffee to celebrate Ray's birthday. But if I kept it in our house, he would realize I was planning in Spanish. The neighbor agreed to keep the cake at his house along with my gift.

I went back home, made coffee, and took the cake out of its box, and my gift was already on the tray.

In our room, Ray was still asleep. I cleared my throat and started singing "Happy Birthday."

Ray looked for a moment and then covered his face with his pillow. I could see that lovely smile; he was embarrassed.

I left things on the bedside table and threw myself to hug and kiss Ray; I knew I should have let him sleep more, but I couldn't contain myself after all these days preparing the surprise.

In no time, I was caught in his arms.

"Everything... was for this," His voice sounded deeper from just waking up, but he seemed happy.

"Yes, did you forget your own birthday?" I joked, stroking his soft hair, and running my hand over his cheek. "Ignoring them doesn't mean you stop aging, old man."

"No, I just don't usually celebrate it." He ignored my joke and just passed his hand over his face, somewhat frustrated.

"Well, get used to it. This might be the only birthday I manage to keep a surprise. Next year, you'll know what to expect." I exclaimed proudly.

Ray smiled, keeping his eyes closed; maybe it was the fact that he now had someone to be with him for the following birthdays that made him take this even more joyfully.

"If you don't want cake now, we can save it for later." I gave a glance to the table with his cake and gift, along with his essential morning coffee.

"How about the gift?" He pointed to the purple box. "Can I have it now?"

It was at this moment that nerves increased from zero to a hundred. Everything would be decided at this moment.

"Of course," I handed over the gift, watching as he slowly unwrapped it.

Ray's eyes widened as he looked at the contents of the box and then at me, pulling out two handmade dolls of them and a pregnancy test. After a moment of silence, Mc cleared her throat.

"D-don't think I'll give you a gift like this every year." I laughed nervously.

"Since when—" maybe it was shock, but his voice sounded distant, as if he didn't completely believe what was happening.

"I-it's still early, I haven't been to the doctor yet." Ray looked at me as if I had committed a crime. "I-it would have ruined the surprise."

Ray went from surprise to anger to simply accepting the inevitable: the love of his life was forgetful.

"I swear I feel fine. But you're happy, I mean, we talked about this in the past, but maybe you were thinking of another time in the future... I..."

Ray's hands took me by my cheeks, cradling my face, to give me a tender kiss.

"I am, I mean, I'm so happy that I'd like to hold you so tight in my arms and show you how excited I am about this." He gave me a subdued smile.

"Ray, what's wrong?"

"What if I don't do it right, being a good father?"

"Well, no father is prepared for this. We'll learn together..."

I could see Ray's face relax at my touch and my words. His hands surrounded my back, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Happy birthday..."

"Thank you..." His whisper was weak, but I felt genuine gratitude.

"Next year, we won't be alone on your next birthday, Mr. Dad."

We stayed hugged for a while. I didn't know what was going through Ray's mind, but whatever it was, I would be with him.

When I set out to eat the cake, I was interrupted by Ray, who carried me to the shower to get ready to go to the hospital. It was funny how from one moment to the next, our small bathroom became a dangerous area in Ray's eyes: slippery floor, sharp-cornered furniture, and a bathtub where I could drown, among many other dangerous things. He took out his phone and started calling to have our entire home redesigned to make it safe for me and our upcoming baby. And may God have mercy on the people in charge if I ever got hurt, no matter how insignificant it was.

If this was going to be my life from now on, it would be a long nine months.

"Your father has gone crazy," I said as I stroked my still flat belly. "But that's how I love him."

#binary star hero #binary star hero vn #binarystarhero #bshvn

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malacandrax · 3 days

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hi sry this is a lil long but i just felt like giving my own comments about ur post re: feeling left out/regarding more detailed work, and wanted to say that your work singlehandedly has inspired me SO much to the point that because of your more simplistic coloring/shading and focus on movement/body language, i was finally able to find a coloring/rendering style that i actually like aesthecially and enjoy doing! i've struggled w replicating color in a way i like digitally for over 6 years but your work, and especially so your sketchbook scans on patreon have been so useful for inspiration and for my own understanding of anatomy and what not. we're always our own worst critics with comparison and whatnot, but please know that your work and your style are a huge accomplishment and skill in their own right, and your comics inspire me to keep studying so i can one day make my own!!! i'm so thankful you share your work with us and to have come across it and be able to draw inspiration off it! your colors, expressions, and the palpable intimacy and dynamic character interactions are so amazing and specifically unique to your work, never doubt the impact it has just because of other's having a different style or approach or something <3

This is so extremely nice I don't even know what to say!!! I honestly feel so hyped that my style inspired someone else, I feel like it's not something I expected and its SO COOL. I sometimes feel like my style isn't particularly STYLISH you know, I often admire really strong punchy styles, so it's nice to hear my own kind of chiller style is inspiring! And that the things I enjoy come across as strengths, too! Also I am so happy to hear someone enjoys my sketchbooks haha, they're really precious to me but I also try not to be too fussy about my art in them which means it's not 'beautiful'*- they're for studying and/or chilling out, so it's SO nice that it's inspiring nonetheless! Wishing you the best in your art journey and also I think if you want to make comics you should just give it a go! Make teeny tiny comics! [it does not have to be good] [tangent oh my god] I feel very hypocritical because for the longest time comics were something my friends made and I didn't know how to, and I felt like my style didn't work for comics, but honestly when I eventually sat down and started a long comic the style happened out of necessity, I Had to simplify or I wouldn't be able to keep up. And you can see from the links that I just did sketchy comics before and that was fine! I think it was just as valuable as making polished pages. I actually probably ended up making comics For Real because I made a silly fandom ask blog, where I kept wanting to say more than I could do in one image, and that gave me the confidence to try something longer with OC's.

ANYWAY thank you so much!

*I find polished sketchbooks so inspiring, but its so limiting imo to try to make a beautiful sketchbook HAHAHAH

#this is so many backhanded negatives about my own work im sorry i swear I am not fishing #I love my work!#but i always want to get better!#I get really excited about learning new stuff #opening my sketchbook to draw fucking collarbones or some shit lol #mal talks

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jennaajoseph · 3 days

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ㅤㅤㅤ ❛ Home. ❜ ⸻ Holden Worther x F!Reader.

── ﹙౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ SUMMARY. ⸻ Holden comes home after a long time at the mental hospital.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ PAIRING. ⸻ holden worther x f!reader.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ CONTENTS. ⸻ fluff, kinda sad if you ask me, bf!holden, generally sensitive topics, mentions of: mental hospital, drinking, rehab, failed suicide attempt, female reader.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ A/N. ⸻ an universe where Holden got help he deserved tbh. Can y'all write more fics for Holden pls??

This one has quite sensitive topics, feel free to correct me if it's needed! Thank you!

Also it took a longer time for me to upload smth cuz someone requested Holden and I wanted to post it first!

(also I think about doing a part two on that, we'll see.)

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ CREDITS. ⸻ photo - pinterest (cropped by me) , divider - @/cafekitsune.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©jennaajoseph﹚

After a failed suicide attempt caused by Holden's drinking problem, he finally agrees to get proffesional help. You were happy that he finally went to the mental hospital, where he was slowly getting better, going to rehab and therapy. Even if that meant not seeing him a lot, you were still happy that he was willing to work to become a better version of himself.

When Holden was in the hospital, he wrote you a lot of different stories. Your desk was always filled with sheets of paper. As time passed, his stories began to be less dark than before, and you took that as a good sign.

Sometimes he wrote you letters, writing about how he's feeling, and asking how you are feeling, how much he missed you, or how much he finally wants to finally see you and "kiss your pretty face". From the letters, you also found out that he started to really enjoy crafting. He sent you his every work; drawings, origami or small paintings made with acrylic paint.

Your room was full of things from him, and every time he sent you something new, you missed him even more.

⭑⭒⭒

Finally, when it was time for Holden to come back home, you couldn't hold your excitement. You were willing to help him with everything he needed, and support him all the time.

You and his parents drove to the hospital to pick him up. Of course, you were way more excited than them, but you were still glad they helped Holden get the help he deserved. They didn't show much emotion to anyone anyway, even themselves.

All of you were in the waiting room. Your leg bounced anxiously as you bit your nails. A bad habit of yours. Holden's parents were reading a magazine, not really caring about the world around them.

"Here for Thomas Worther?" A doctor appeared in the room, looking at some papers. Your head immediately jolted up when you heard his voice. Holden's mom confirmed, the doctor nodded, disappearing from the room the second after.

You let out an anxious sigh, but also a small excitement washed over you, finally being able to see Holden after a long time was something you were looking forward to for a long time. You couldn't visit him because of the policy. Only family members were allowed to, which was also quite limited because of his condition.

The door of the waiting room opened again after a while, Holden and a nurse entered the room.

"Okay Holden, wish you luck!" She smiled at him, and he nodded. The nurse turned to his parents and gave them some papers to sign, also talking about his therapy and rehab that he's still supposed to attend.

Holden quickly dropped his bags on the floor when he saw you. "Oh God, y/n" he quickly rushed in your direction. You stood up from your seat, and he wrapped his arms around you squeezing you tightly. You hugged him back as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. "I missed you so fucking much."

"Oh, Holden." You tried to hold your tears back, it was the first time you held him in almost 4 months. "I missed you too." You whispered, running your hand in his hair.

"I was scared that you won't be here." He gave you a pleading look, and your heart broke even more.

"Holden, I've been waiting for all this time." You cupped his face with both hands.

"I wanna go home..." He whispered, pressing your hands on his face harder. "...with you."

"Okay, we are going home soon, I promise." You reassured him.

"Tom," You both turned your head towards his parents and a nurse. "I think it's time for us to go home."

He quickly nodded grabbing your hand, and picking up his bags, everyone was ready to leave when the nurse spoke again. "Take care of yourself, Holden." She looked at him, then at you. You smiled at her gently.

"I will." He responded softly.

The car ride was filled with Holden's stories from the hospital. He sat very close to you, tightly holding your hand the whole time. He told you everything. What was his routine, his doctor visits, how his therapy looked like, what he learned. You couldn't stop listening. You missed everything about him.

⭑⭒⭒

"Let me grab this." His father said, when Holden wanted to pick his bags up from the car.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

His father carried his stuff into the house. When Holden stepped inside he didn't quite know what he should do with himself now, so his eyes just wandered around the house.

"Do you need something, Tom?" His mom asked from behind.

"No, no, i don't need anything." He replied.

His mother quietly nodded. His father stood next to her and sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "If you need something, we will be downstairs." He said.

"Okay."

There was a quite long silence afterwards that was interrupted by you stepping into the house. "Let me help you with the bags, Holden." You grabbed his backpack.

"Oh, right." He grabbed the rest of his stuff and slowly headed upstairs.

You took the last look at his parents and smiled gently. They returned the smile.

You went upstairs, right after Holden. He placed his bags on the floor and looked around. You quietly placed his backpack in the same spot.

He said turned back to look at you as you stepped closer to him, cupping his face with both of your hands. He gave you a pleading look again, and went silent for a second. "Did you cheat on me when I was away?"

A shocked look appeared on your face. "What? Holden-"

"Please be honest with me, you don't need to lie." His voice was getting cracky as a few tears rolled down his cheeks

You furrowed your eyebrows in sadness. Your heart broke at his words. The thought of cheating on him didn't even cross your mind. "Holden I could never do that to you."

"Please just tell me if you did." He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he broke down crying.

You held him, gently caressing his back, holding back tears. "I swear to God, baby I didn't."

"I was away for almost 4 months, how could you not." He sobbed against your neck.

"Because I promised that I'll be here for you, and I love you with my whole heart." You grabbed his face gently to make him look at you. This time you gave him a pleading look. "You are my home."

His bottom lip quivered as he pulled you closer to him.

"I promise you, I would never do anything like that."

He nodded his head slightly. You two sat on the bed as you helped him calm down a little.

"You promise?" He whispered.

"I promise, my love." You kissed his lips gently, and he held you tightly by your waist.

"I can't express how much I love you." He said, his grip getting harder on you.

"Easy, Holden, you are gonna crush me." You chuckled quietly, wiping his tears.

"I'm sorry, I just need you really really close." He said in almost begging tone.

"We can cuddle for a bit, is that okay?" You brushed your thumbs against his cheeks. He nodded instantly.

You both cuddled on his bed, his face buried in your chest, his hands holding you around your waist, this time not that hard.

"Did you saw the gifts I sent you?" He changed the subject, looking up at you.

"Of course I did!" You smiled.

"Did you like them?"

"I love them, Holden." You caressed his cheek with one of your hands, and he blushed. "You are very talented, you know that?"

"Maybe..." He murmured against your chest.

You rolled your eyes playfully, and placed your head on top of his. "You are."

"Okay" He grinned slightly. "I have something I didn't send you."

"Really?" Your eyes widened.

"Do you want to see what is it?"

"Of course I do!" You sat on the bed excitedly.

He smiled and grabbed his backpack. "I made it in one of my art therapy classes."

"Show me, please."

His hand was searching in his bag, after a second he pulled out two colorful bracelets. "I hope you'll like them." He held them up for you to see.

"You made that?" You took the bracelets from him, smiling. "They look wonderful!"

"They have yours and my name on it." He pointed at the beads with letters.

"Oh, that's right!" Your smile got wider as you saw that one of the bracelets has "Holden" written on it and the second one "y/n". "That's the cutest thing I have ever seen."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" You said, sliding the bracelet on your wrist. "I'll keep the "Holden" one and you'll keep the "y/n" one." You slid the second bracelet on his wrist too. "Now we match!"

He smiled widely, and held your face to give you a kiss. You quickly returned it.

"I'm so lucky to have you." He mumbled between kisses.

You smiled into the kiss. "I love you, Holden."

"I love you too, y/n, so, so, so much."

You giggled as his kisses got all over your face. "Easy baby, I'm not going anywhere."

"I know I just, I missed you so damn much." He pulled you closer to him, panting slightly as he stopped kissing you.

"I missed you too." You gave him a soft smile.

"Do you think you can stay for the night?" He gave you a sad puppy look. Begging you to stay with him. "I know that you have work-" You quickly cut him off.

"I can stay for how long you need." You whispered kissing his forehead. "My home is right there, with you."

⭑⭒⭒

After two weeks, Holden got more comfortable being at home. You drove him to therapy once a week to help him with his mental illness, and after that he went to alcohol rehab, helping with his drinking problems. These days were the most busy, you just sat outside the room he was in, and waited for a couple hours, but it was worth seeing his big smile when it was time to go home.

He also needed to fix himself a new routine, which you helped him with. You always reminded him to take his meds every morning.

He also didn't quit his hobbies. Every day he did something new for you, a drawing, story, poem, painting, bracelet or small origami. You always were excited to see what he did, and he was always excited to give it to you.

Holden was basically glued to you all the time, from the moment you woke up, to the moment you went to sleep. On the days when you had work, he woke up at the same time as you, made you breakfast and helped you get ready. Sometimes, in the morning, you two took a shower together which usually led to heavy make out session before work, or even sex when you had more spare time.

He always told you how much he appreciates that you are still here for him after what happened, and he tried his best to make you feel loved and safe, showering you with kisses, hugs or literally any physical contact — his favourite way of showing affection.

His parents were also glad for your help, even though you didn't really talked to them, you knew they were happy with your presence. They didn't really mind you staying for that long, but to be honest, you wanted Holden to move into your apartment when he finds himself a job. Your money from working at Retail Rodeo wasn't much to cover up for you two, and for safety reasons you wanted Holden to stay with his parents a little longer.

⭑⭒⭒

You finished showering, and dressed in your pajamas, quickly went on tip toes to Holden's room.

"Okay I'm done, you can go now." You closed the door behind you and saw him lying on the bed, smiling sheepishly. "What?" You grinned at him.

"Come here." He opened his arms, suggesting for you to cuddle with him. You quickly jumped into his arms and he rolled you over so now he was straddling you.

You sighed with a smile. "We are not fucking."

"Who said that I want to fuck?" He grinned and started kissing your cheeks.

"I know you Holden, you are a very horny person." You giggled.

"It's hard not to be around you." He looked into your eyes. You gently ran one of your hands through his hair and smiled at him. He stared at you for a good couple minutes before finally speaking. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

You rolled your eyes platfully. "C'mon, I'm not that beautiful."

He rolled his eyes, mocking you. "Yes you are, at least for me."

You smiled softly and caressed his cheek. "You are very handsome to me too."

He grinned widely. "Thank you."

"For what? Complements?"

"For simply existing, you helped me a lot." He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I'm very happy it was you."

You couldn't help but smile. Holden appreciated literally everything you did for him, even if it was something small, he would be head over heels for you, and it's allways been like this. He would always return the favour with something bigger than you usually did for him.

You grabbed his face gently, and pulled him into a kiss. "I'm very happy it was you too." You mumbled into the kiss.

"I'm excited for our future together." He smiled sheepishly when the kiss ended.

"You have no idea how excited I am too."

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