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#and it sucks so bad. and what if i don't ever have that. ugh
crave-mp3 · 8 months
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why is choosing a name so hard ugghhh
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eviltothecore13 · 1 year
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lots of people in this fandom CLAIM to love Gomez but when someone makes a post with Morticia as "Barbie is everything" and Gomez as "he's just Ken", it gets likes and reblogs
like...isn't that meme essentially saying "he's bland and boring/doesn't do anything interesting/is no good at anything and has nothing special about him, and no-one cares about him that much because he's just some bland generic guy with no personality beyond being a sidekick"?
do the majority of fans genuinely believe Gomez has no personality and no interesting traits?
#I really am starting to consider deleting all my fics and my Tumblr#because most of my planned WIPs focus on Gomez quite heavily#and I feel like no-one will care or want to read them because apparently everyone thinks he is dull and bland#I'm also assuming everyone I've ever talked to about him was secretly#thinking 'I wish this loser would stop going on about this boring character who no-one cares about'#'ugh they're pathetic he's the most generic bland guy on the planet why would anyone be a fan of him'#even if at the time people seemed interested I'm starting to think they must just have been pretending#because APPARENTLY the whole fandom thinks he's boring and useless and bland and stupid and has no personality#if I post any of my fics I'm worried I'll either get zero response because no-one likes or cares about Gomez#or I'll just get comments from people going 'give up and quit writing no-one cares about this stupid character he sucks and so do you'#I don't get why he's apparently seen as dull and boring when he swordfights and builds robots and blows things up but apparently he is?#I especially don't get it from Morticia fans tbh#because I don't think SHE'D actually like people calling Gomez dull and bland and forgettable and useless#she generally seems to believe he's amazing just as much as he believes she's amazing#but hey what do I know I'm clearly the only person in the fandom who finds him interesting#or thinks he has a personality or is anything more than Morticia's forgettable stupid sidekick#so I guess I'm just stupid and wrong about everything#and should stop writing fic because apparently I'm too stupid to understand the characters properly#and I'm just an idiot with bad taste and bad opinions#because if I was a true fan who understood the characters I'd think Gomez was boring and useless too like everyone else does#it's just not fun to know that everyone I thought was interested in my fics and headcanons was only pretending to be
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klara-rosa · 3 months
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You know it's gonna be a rough day when you stayed up til 4 am the night before and now you've been sitting on the couch in a freeze for the last 4 hours because you realised once again that you spend your life waiting, and not living, and you don't even know what you're waiting for but life goes by anyway?
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bluemoon-fever · 21 days
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The First Time
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pairing: ari levinson x fem!reader
summary: it's your first time with ari.
word count: 1.87k
prompt: ari levinson + "Tell me your favorite way to cum so I can satisfy you the way you deserve."
warnings: fluff, light angst(?), allusions to anxiety/low self-esteem, smut, unprotected sex, mentions of oral sex (f receiving), fingering, overstimulation kink, D/s undertones, soft!dom!ari, size kink, aftercare, pet names, creampie, choking, MINORS DNI
a/n: this is my entry for @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420 for their Cum Together: Community Revival Extravaganza. this is my first work in a minute (i have WIPs, but i'm still trying to figure out how i want things to go). i'm exciting to see what everyone thinks and i hope you enjoy! (also this isn't edited and don't steal or repost this)
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You feel utterly ridiculous. You’ve washed your hands for what felt like ten minutes, trying to hide the clamminess of your hands. After your fifteenth cleanse, you dry your hands and resign to the fact that your nervousness would not subside until you got this over it. Ugh, fine, you muttered under your breath as you succumb to your nerves.
Before you go out, you give yourself a once-over in the mirror. You had your hair perfectly curled for your date tonight. The cute blouse and jeans that fit your hips and ass perfectly was in the hamper. You wore a short, pink silk nightie with matching lacy panties. You recently bought them for tonight and hoped they would work in your favor. You looked beautiful, but why did that not calm your nerves? Why was it not enough?
You felt bad for leaving Ari waiting, and he was so understanding. When you told him you needed to freshen up a bit, he softly kissed your forehead and lips before telling you to do whatever you need to do. It helped quell your anxieties a little, but as you got closer to the impending moment, your anxiety heightened.
You whispered to yourself in the mirror.
You got this! It’s just sex. If it doesn’t work out, it won’t be in the end of the world. You tried to rationalize despite every cell in your brain feeding into irrationality and fear. You hadn’t been this nervous to have sex since your first time, so for you to be an adult and panicking over doing it with your new boyfriend felt extra silly.
It had been a while since your last encounter… a long while. After the end of your only serious relationship, it had been hard to let anyone new in until Ari Levinson waltzed into your life. Even though he was patient, he was persistent. You wanted him, and he wanted you. But you were so scared of being hurt and alone again. 
He worked to prove to you that he wouldn’t do that. He showed you that he wanted you, wanted to cherish and take care of you. Pretty soon, you were falling for him and he claimed himself for you. He was waiting for you to do the same, and for Ari, he would wait however long he needed. You were worth it to him.
And so you let Ari Levinson into your life, and you’ve been the happiest you’ve ever been. For the duration of your time together, you and Ari had only made out and cuddled. He spent the night at your place and you at his, but there was no sex. He never pressured you, which you were grateful for, but you were scared to begin. You weren’t the most experienced. The sex you had with your ex was decent, but you didn’t want that. You had desires, some you were scared of sharing with Ari, but you knew you could trust him. He wouldn’t judge you for that, but you were worried. What if you weren’t good enough? What if it was so bad he left you?
Ari didn’t seem like the type to leave you because the sex sucked, but looking at him, you couldn’t help but feel out of his league. He was sex on legs, undeniably handsome. You’ve seen the way women and men alike look at him, hell you look at him the same way. Could you even keep up?
Before you could go further in your spiral, a soft knock brought you back to reality. “Babe, is everything alright in there?”
“Yeah! I’m about to come out!” Holy shit. It was now or never. You fluffed up your hair, quickly gargled some mouthwash, and gave yourself a last minute pep talk. You are a goddess. You got this! If you can survive half the things you have, you can have sex with your boyfriend.
You walked out of bathroom, but instead of inching towards Ari, you leaned against the doorframe, trying to look like the gorgeous actresses from the movies. Ari was laying across your bed, still fully dressed. He licked his lips as he eyed your form, looking like a predator about to devour his prey. Your body warmed under his gaze and a wetness begin to pool in your panties. 
“You like?” you ask in a sultry tone. Ari nodded and rose up. He towered over you, and though you hadn’t said it, you loved that his body was bigger than his. His arms traveled up your body before he grabbed your head in his hands and pulled your mouth into his. Immediately, he began to dominate you with his mouth. Your tongue attempted to fight for dominance, but Ari easily overpowered you. You could feel him guide you away from the bed and towards the mirror hanging above your dresser. Before you know it, he abruptly pulls away from you and spins you around to where your back is pressed firmly against his chest and growing bulge.
In the mirror, you see how swollen your lips are. Your face was red with passion and so was Ari’s. He wrapped his arms around your center and began caressing your body. “Honey,” he begins. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
“Nothing,” you stutter, failing to hide your true feelings. Despite experiencing the most amazing kiss of your life, your mind was still running a mile a minute. Ari shakes his head, and you immediately tense. “I’m sorry!”
“Baby, your mind has been running a mile a minute since we got back to your place. There’s no need to apologize, but just tell me what’s going on,” he says as he begins to pepper kisses on your shoulder and up your neck. Your eyes roll back slightly as he begins his light assault, but when you’re quiet longer than he cares for, he stops. You whine, and he gives a stern look.
“I’m just… nervous. That’s it,” you tell him. You look down at your freshly pedicured feet. “I just want to be good for you.”
At that moment, Ari grabs your chin and pulls his lips into yours. The kiss is passionate like the one previously, but there’s a tenderness in this. It’s intimate like the ones you have during your late night cuddle sessions, but there’s an underlying hint of desire when you feel him nip at the bottom lip. Your toes curl, and the wetness in between your thighs grows.
“You are always good for me. You’re perfect for me.” He parts from you, turning your chin back to your reflection. “Look at you. I am so lucky you’re my girl.”
Before you can retort his statement, you gives a light slap to your ass, making you jump. “And don’t question it.”
“Ari,” you begin, locking eyes with him in the mirror. “It’s been a while-“
“I know, baby.”
“I wasn’t done.” He smiles at the little fire building inside of you. “And I’m worried about tonight. But if we can, I do want to try some things.” Your timidness returns, and something in Ari blooms. 
“We can do whatever you want tonight, baby. Can I you do something for me?” he asks. You nod fervently. “Tell me your favorite way to cum so I can satisfy you the way you deserve.”
The sounds of your and Ari’s blended moans fill the air. You lost track of how many times Ari made you come, but all you know is that you were thoroughly fucked out. He had made you cum with his hands, mouth, and cock so many times. You begged to let him suck you off, but he refused. Tonight was all about you.
“Alright, baby. Can you give me one more?” he asks softly as if he hadn’t tore you apart and used your body all night. He kisses his way up your torso, pressing open mouth kisses on your breasts and neck.
“No, I can’t,” you pant. Ari chuckles at your whines. They were the prettiest sounds he ever heard. “Please, no more.”
“Are you sure, sweetness?” he asks as he strokes his cock. His fingers slip between your folds and tease your entrance. He watches as they attempt to clamp down around nothing. “Because she wants some more.”
Ari lines himself up and slides into your channel. He bottoms you out but freezes, wanting you to feel him everywhere. You squeeze around him and cry out. You knew he was big, but you were shocked that he was able to work himself in. He fit deliciously around you. Ari wraps his arm around your neck, something you had asked excitedly him to do. You learned (and prayed for) that Ari was more dominate in the bedroom. And while he had been able to pull the sweetest sounds from your body and take control, you knew he was holding back from his true form.
“Just cum for me one last time, baby. I know you can do it. Isn’t this what you wanted?” he asks giving you a sly smile. While you had disclosed you wanted to try this with a partner, Ari more than obliged at feeding into your desires. He was more excited than you expected. Despite your pleas, you give a small nod.
He begins working into a steady rhythm, starting slow. Before you know it, his pace quickens. He pulls all the way out before he slams back into you. You cry, nearly yell, out as he begins his brutal, relentless pace. His hold around your neck tightens, and you feel yourself growing slicker.
“My pretty girl,” he says. You preen at his words, loving his praises especially when he has so much control over you. “You have no idea how addicted I am to you. Everything about you.”
He picks up the pace, and his hands move to pick up your legs and change your position. You feel him reaching into you deeper and you know you don’t have much longer until you’re about cum.
“Ari, Ari, Ari!” you cry out. “I’m about to c-cum!”
“Cum for me, baby,” he orders. Your toes curl into the sheets, and you let out a scream as your earth-shattering orgasm washes over you. As Ari fucks you through your high, you feel his pace slow and pretty soon he’s roaring as he cums into you. 
When Ari comes down from his high, he sees he fucked you to sleep. He looks down at the mixing of your juices together and smiles. He could never get enough of this. He pulls out softly, missing the feel of you around him. He grabs a towel and cleans you up softly, careful not to wake you even though you whine from the feel through your sleep. Then, he climbs into bed, pulling your smaller body into his chest before pressing a soft kiss to your head and joining you to sleep. You sleep entwined with him, the sounds of your soft breaths lulling him to sleep with a smile on his face that you were his and he was yours.
feedback is much appreciated!
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alwaysshallow · 7 months
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― blood on my shirt, rose in my hand
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SUMMARY: Simon Riley knows you have bad experiences with dating, but he also knows you don't really need no one but him. He's gonna provide you anything. So you can imagine how he could change, when for the first time, you think you've found the one man who's right for you. To your surprise, weird events happen during the time you date Nick. Thankfully, Simon's there to help you. (11,4k)
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A/N: this is SUCH a long piece, so some of it is here, but the full version is on AO3. i hope you're gonna forgive me for this one </3
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"It's not like I'm ugly, right? I thought about it. If I'm ugly, so that's why it doesn't work out." you sip your favorite wine, looking right at your best friend, who has been listening for the past hour your ramblings about dating.
"You're fuckin' stupid, but not ugly, pet."
He's the best friend in the world – you can say this, meaning it with your whole heart. In fact, he's the best friend everyone probably wished to have, at least in your mind. Not only here for you, but loyal, you can tell him basically anything. He wouldn't say a thing, even if someone was nagging, and he was mostly a good adviser; all the qualities you looked for in a best friend, right?
And he was brutally honest, like right now, but you don't mind it. Simon Riley had this thing, and even if sometimes you were almost offended at his bluntness (like this one time, when he told you you're a crying mess and you act… worse than a toddler), you mostly appreciated it. Your other friends couldn't compare to his honesty, this man was not the one to lick your ass.
Or, so you thought.
"Excuse me?" you raise your eyebrow, laughing, while shaking your head. "You should, I don't know, tell me I'm amazing and they don't deserve me. Or so." you joke; it causes him to roll his eyes.
"That's what I told you. Different words, but the same thingy."
"Right."
It sometimes sucks for you that Simon isn't a girl. He has this unbelieveably annoying guy thing, where he just can't be delusional with you, and he can't just mourn over some hot guy. His way of thinking is… on the other level, he totally skips the mourn part, the part that is pathetic; he's just saying things like "move on" and "there's a lot of them anyway". Again, you love it, but you really wish you could cry about guy being so pretty that it hurts, without him rolling his eyes.
Yet, when you're more in mad mood than mourning one, his attiude is just perfect. He's the one to encourage you to scream, he even brought you a few times to rage room when you needed to smash a few things, not to mention the attiude he was setting you in. Powerful, not giving a shit about a "piece of a man that doesn't deserve you".
Simon sighs. "You're worryin' too much. Really that desperate?"
You huff, as you sink more into the plushy couch in your apartment. "I'm not desperate. It's just…" you take a few seconds to think "being love starved."
"Sex starved, you mean."
"Love starved." you send him a look.
"Mhm. You fancy plushies, hugs, and all shite like this?"
"You're so fucking British, it hurts" you laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I want something like this. Someone to hold me, someone that cares about me and I know it. Sex comes in package, of course, but it's just… ugh, I want a man" you groaned.
You feel as pathetic as ever, when Simon doesn't respond – because how exactly should he? He wasn't vocal about things like this, he usually just nod his head, and there it was, another topic. A miracle it was that he was already listening to your date rambling, not cutting it off because he was uncomfortable or something.
Dreams about your love life… more girly conversation.
Mostly – you know guys who loved talking about it, obviously, and you adore it pretty much, especially when you can know their perspective on some things, but… Riley wasn't really one of them. He had "simple hookups" as he said one day, when you asked him about doing double-dates. It wasn't even an option, he just liked to ocassionally fuck and that's all.
So you stopped trying a few months ago for a double-date. Instead, you focused more on finding a man that would meet your expectations at least in the middle, and that was exhausting, to be honest. Tinder dates were just a disaster after disaster – if it wasn't some catfish, a guy that wanted to marry you and have kids after two weeks of writing, it was most definitely a guy with a desire to bang you quickly.
Romance was dead these days, you noticed. That wouldn't keep you away from trying to find someone, though. Patience was a key in things like these.
"Maybe you will set me up with one your friends? It wouldn't suck. You know them." you think out loud.
"Definitely too much wine f'you." Simon takes your glass, and pours all of the liquid to his mouth, swallowing it like it was some kind of juice, not alcohol. "You don't want a guy from military in your life. Trust me."
There's some sternness to his tone, at which you raise your eyebrow. It was just a funny comment from your side, nothing else – you know by the heart that this man doesn't like the idea of connecting his two worlds. "I know, Simon. Just joking, right?"
You place a hand on his. It's a comedic, yet, heartwarming view, when you see the size difference.
"And, you're pretty cool for a military guy."
He huffs. It seems like pretty cool offends him, but he doesn't say it out loud, so it can be only your imagination working. "You met me before I enlisted. 's different."
"How different?"
"You knew me before military."
He doesn't give you another answer that night, nor the continuation of this one – he brushes you off, like you are some kind of bug that is disturbing him, and brings up another topic, about his deployment. He asks if you can watch his apartment when he's gone, take care of it; it's stupid, Simon knows that you will always agree, but it's the need of asking you anyway.
And, he likes coming home, where he can smell your perfume, where he can see that you made some changes. You tend to do that a lot, mostly buying stuff to his apartment. "It looks worse than room in the hospital" you always say, when he cocks his eyebrow with amusement. He doesn't say that, but he finds it really adorable that you care so much, to make his space… cozier, even if he's not really attached to it. Mostly, it's for your comfort when you come to visit him, and that happens a lot; not like he minds it. Anyone else would be banned from his apartment, but you? Oh God, you wouldn't be, not in the milion years.
You could probably be the worst ever to him; call him names, punch, anything, and he would still be your Simon. It's what he was used to, to being by your side, no matter what time, no matter if you were in the good mood or not; your presence was everything to him.
Not like he'd ever confess that, but it is what you know, silently.
Yet, you are so good to him. Always sending him letters or texting him when he is on deployment. A couple of times, you sent him little things too, if he forgot something, photos included too, but new ones; mostly you captured views, but you were here once or twice. His happiness may not be that visible to outsiders, but his heart is full every time.
"My girl", he'd tell boys when they saw a polaroid of you, swiftly tucking it into his vest because no one was allowed to see it more than three seconds.
Often, Gaz joked if you are actually his girl even if you're not dating, but it sounded so bizzare to Ghost. How would you not be his? Thirteen years of friendship counted as something beyond being only his best friend, no? At least in his mind it was like this. He was used to you dating briefly other guys, but it lasted maybe a few months top. Nothing serious, probably his hookups were more meaningful than your relationships.
So you can easily imagine his confusion, when your mutual friends tell him big news about your new object of interest; someone that he doesn't even know yet, but he's not really his fan on the beggining.
It was just a month of being away.
His eyes are on you now; you are embarrassed, looking anywhere but at him. You don't even speak, you just wave your hand in dismissive manner, trying to change the topic because you don't really want to talk about it. Not in the presence of your best friend, at least.
It works for everyone but Simon, and you know it by the way he looks at you, processing what he just heard. Changing a topic, sudden talkativeness from your side is like buying time in that, time precious to think what to say to your best friend later on.
Because you know for the fact that he'll ask. He always does, and now he has a reason.
You have your reasons why you haven't told him. "It's nothing serious. That's why I didn't tell you." your voice is a little more silent than usual, but he can hear it anyway. You two are taking a walk to your apartment with no one around; and it's awkward one.
Simon seems like he doesn't want to say anything about your poor choice of men. It worries you; he always wanted somehow to make fun of you or make comment. Now, it's just a nod, like he gets it, but you know it's not it. He doesn't get it.
But you don't know what it is.
"C'mon!" you nudge him, and when it doesn't seem to affect him, you stand right in front of him. A little wobbly because of alcohol, your vision isn't so great too, but it makes him stop in his tracks. "Say something."
"Somethin'" he grumbles, and you can't help but roll your eyes. "What? Told me-"
"-I know what I told you!" you cup his face in your hands. Your head is a bit hazy, but the intensions are clear; making him talk and soft. It always works, so you have a lot of hope. "He's a good guy, but I want to meet him a bit closer to be… certain about him, you know? You've heard me whining about boys a bit too much."
"You can tell me everything." he muses, and you can't help but smile at that. Of course – of course you can tell him everything. You never doubted it for a second, and you think of yourself as stupid, doubting that he wouldn't want to hear about it. "Ill be the judge of that, though. Good guy thing."
"I can't be trusted?" you tease, and when he lets out a low chuckle, you grin even more. It's like a reward after him being his grumpy self.
"No." he shakes his head. "You don't know what is good for you. But that's why I'm here."
Under the influence of alcohol, you didn't pay too much of attention to his words; probably you wouldn't pay attention to it even if he'd say this when you are sober. Simon as your protector – it's so natural, you don't even need to think about it as something weird. It's just the way things are for thirteen years, everyone knows this.
Your friends, who were a bit reluctant on the beggining, but two parties later, when he joined the competition of drinking on time and wasn't drunk at all, he won over their hearts.
It was tougher with your parents, when you were in highschool. A little distanced at first, they constantly asked where were his parents (which, you told them, was rude asking, especially to his face), telling you how much of a bad news he could be for you. Suggestion of him ruining your future was the worst, you never thought of him this way; that discussion caused you to give them the silent treatment for a few days.
Apparently after that, suggesting that Simon is around you too much, clinging to your side and giving you "weird glances", they stopped the narrative, admitting that the boy might be damaged, but not broken. You still felt like they're judging their every move, but seeing that he had pretty good life plan, seeing that he thought about military and went here actually? Hell, they completely stopped being suspicious in any means.
Riley just had this thing of charming people, even if they didn't like him in the beggining. He had everything under his finger, trying to keep things under control – it was like that… pretty much since the beggining of his life. You met him when he was an adult, but he always liked to keep things under control; people, things that he cared about. What belonged to him was sacred, untouchable for anyone else.
The possessiveness started in his early childhood with toys, when he absolutely despised everyone who just wanted to touch his things, to lay their dirty, filthy fingers here. In early classes, it was considered just rude.
When he was older though, he started fighting for various things. Knowing he has the advantage, he used his legs, fists, when he had to, and no one was looking, besides the actual victim. He wasn't stupid; he knew how troublesome the public can be, he also knew the power of manipulation a bit too well to get caught so easily. Wasn't the plan, getting caught; it once happened, but because he wanted to; he even broke his own nose, making it like the other guy did it, just to get what he needed. The reputation of kid who was broken in the childhood, so he's just not opening on others was… suitable, for him. No one could suspect anything, especially when the kid just happened to be "attacked" by one of the popular ones, right?
The idea of power was something that Simon truly desired from the beggining; maybe it has something to do with the lack of his parents in his life, being transferred from one foster family to another. Maybe it's just him being a little fucked up – who knows.
What mattered, was the fact he had you. You, so sweet, so considerate to be by his side, to be protected by him, to be the person who "opened" because of her. Little did you know, he opened just because he wanted to be closer to you, not those fuckers you hang out with.
If you knew his past, you would have another reasons in mind, why he showed up to meet your potential new boyfriend. Jealousy, posessiveness, power complex, him being a control freak who can't give you to anyone he personally doesn't trust – if ever, considering you were his precious best friend. He isn't willing to share.
You aren't really aware of him being this crazy. You think of his flaws, and you see someone that has been damaged, someone that you can and will help, if he just asks for it – or if you'll see he needs it. So, naturally, you help, and grin the widest you can, when you see him in the door. He shows completely unexpected. It doesn't take you long to wrap your hands around his neck, tight, as you hug him.
Happy as always because you can see your friend, happy as ever because moments like these means a lot to you. When he's deployed, you can't even see him, so you're taking all in when he's right in front of you.
"Hope 'm not interruptin'." he murmurs into your hair, as his head is practically buried in them; he has to bend down a little to be at your level, but it's something he enjoys. The power.
"Never." you say immediately, not even hesitating in your statement. "Actually, you found a pretty good moment."
"That I did, eh?" his eyebrow arches, as he straightens up.
"As always. Nick's here, you have to meet him."
|READ THE REST ON AO3|
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ssavaart · 5 months
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Sometimes You Have to Make 100 BAD Drawings To Get 1 GOOD One
(Earlier this year, a publisher asked me if I'd be interested in writing a book on art. As we discussed it... they asked me to "give it a try" and this is one of two tests I did. I don't consider myself a writer, really, so this is just "in my own voice". I wound up turning down the offer... but would love to know your thoughts on this. Thanks)
Drawing something good. Something you like. It’s… elusive. Especially when you’re just starting out.
But, here’s the thing. You have good art in you. I promise. You just have to get to it and it’s stuck under a bunch of bad art. Really bad art.
When I was younger, I would draw every day. Filling up sketchbooks with doodles and sketches and I hated ALL of them.
Page 01: Crap
Page 02: Crap
Page 03: Crap
Page 04: Worse than Crap
Page 05: What even is that?
Page 06: Ugh
And it was just downhill from there…
But… somewhere around like page 100… I made something that… “wasn’t crap”. I actually didn’t hate it.
And that gave me courage to keep going. That one drawing made it all worth it. I was cured. I was now an expert. All of my art would be great from now on.
Oh… if only.
The next drawing was worse than any other drawing before it.
How??? I just made ART! like 5 minutes before that. I got all the bad drawings out! How did my art just go from Van Gogh to Van NO???
Honestly? I… got lucky. That one good drawing? Total fluke. Dumb luck. Sheer Happenstance.
Doing 100 drawings didn’t suddenly make me an expert. It couldn’t.
Have you ever heard of the saying “If a million monkeys type on a million typewriters for a million years, they’ll eventually write Shakespeare”?
I was those monkeys and that drawing was my Shakespeare.
I just pooped out enough bad art that eventually sheer luck was going to mean I may make something really good.
And I’m TOTALLY okay with that. I was 11. I’m not a prodigy. I don’t have any special gifts. But what I did have was… a taste for how making good art felt.
Seeing that one good drawing made me want more. Like my first time tasting chocolate ice cream. I was hooked.
So, I made 100 more bad drawings. Maybe more. And, guess what? ANOTHER great drawing emerged!
Another Shakespeare from this 11 year old monkey!!!! Huzzah!
From then on… I knew that all I had to do was keep banging away at that typewriter (I’m still on the million monkey thing… bear with me) and I would get rewarded with another masterpiece.
Week after week. Month after month. I would fill up my sketchbooks with the most horrific, amateurish, incomprehensible art… and, sure enough, 1 of every 100 drawings would not suck.
I would show it to my mom and she would say “Oh! That’s wonderful!” and when she tried to turn the pages to see more, I would quickly SNATCH it out of her hands and run back into the shadows like Gollum hiding his “Precious” from prying eyes.
I dare not let her see the monstrosities that came before the work of genius.
And… this went on. For years. Predictably. Rhythmically.
Until, one day… my 75th drawing was really good.
How? It was 25 drawings early! That’s not how it was supposed to work. That wasn’t the plan.
But there it was. A really amazing drawing of a spaceship I came up with out of my head. It had lasers and a cockpit and wings and…It was glorious. And it was totally unexpected.
Maybe NOW I was an expert and I no longer needed to make bad art? Would today be the day I would only make masterpieces?
I quickly turned the page and began to draw what would soon be my second greatest work of art and… NOPE.
Still crap.
Hm. But… something was different. It was still crap. But… it wasn’t as “crappy” as the other crap.
I grabbed my previous sketchbooks and looked at the bad drawings from previous years and… guess what? My older bad drawings were WORSE than my newer bad drawings!
Apparently, the more I drew… the better my BAD drawings got too.   
Okay. So. I drew 75 more “not as crappy” bad drawings and… predictably… I made another great drawing!
I was… IMPROVING.
This went on for years. I went to high school. Then art school. I hated MOST of my art… but as I practiced… the number of BAD art I had to make to get to the GOOD art got lower and lower. Soon it was 50 bad pieces for 1 good one. Then 25. Then 10.
It took decades when I noticed… I liked my art more often than not.
It was a complete surprise. I was in my 40’s when this happened. I was SO conditioned to just accept I was going to hate my art that I hadn’t noticed that I had made 5 paintings that didn’t suck. IN A ROW!!!
Unheard of!
But, there it was. 5 good paintings. One right after the other.
The 6th one was complete trash. Tossed it in the garbage.
But, the 7th one? I liked. And the 8th. And the 9th.
I’m now 54 and I know I still have SO much bad art in me. I can feel it. Always ready to pop up and ruin my day.
But, I “pooped out” so much bad art over the years that I’m not really worried about those pop up bad art surprises. I know it’s just temporary.
I like my art now. And that’s because I got MOST of the bad art out of me and into those old sketchbooks.
I know it may seem daunting doing 100 bad drawings just to get to 1 good one. But… if you love that feeling of making that one GOOD piece of art… you need to be patient and get the bad ones out. They’re blocking the good ones. Keeping them deep inside you.
So, crack open that sketchbook. Poop out those bad pieces of art and never look back.
You’ll thank me in like 40 years or so. I promise.
(Oh. And sorry for all the poop references. I’m still that 11 year old when it comes to humor)
Poop.
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Baby Boy Darling!
—Your boyfriend turning into a little baby? What are you going to do with him?
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Jouno X Fem! Reader
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Format: Drabble
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.8K
A/n: Mildly rushed but acceptable ig!
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↳Osamu Dazai
"You know... I don't think this is a good choice for a bedtime story"
The little infant in your arms looked at you curiously. He wasn't old enough to make any sounds other than crying, but the martyred expression he was wearing and his firm grip on your thumb displayed his intention with no complicacy. Nevertheless, that didn't stop you from putting the suicide manual on the nightstand.
"Now now, don't look at me like that. I'm a good babysitter, and a good babysitter doesn't teach babies ways to kill themselves"
You gently caressed his puffy cheeks. "I'm also a generous babysitter, which is why I don't slap your hand away when you grab my boobs"
His gaze fell on his small chubby hand that was trying to get a hold of your breast. It was a good thing you had a T-shirt on, or with the way he was trying to cup them they would've been bleeding by now.
"I'm sorry honey, I don't think you can hold them anymore. Your hands are just too tiny!"
He whined and pouted in response.
"I know! I'm sad too. C'mon, smile a little for me will you? Smile for your mommy"
If he was still an adult, he would have rolled his eyes and smiled, but he wasn't. He was just a cranky baby who was probably planning your murder in his cute little head.
"Get it? Mommy? I'm your mommy! God you didn't have a sense of humor when you were a child did you? I miss my kind, loving boyfriend"
He looked at you unfazedly.
"Alright, how about I sing you a song? Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you aaaaaaaa— ah!?"
Dazed, you looked down at your baby boyfriend with widened eyes, only to find him staring back at you while his mouth was on your right breast. He was trying to suck on it, but that wasn't easy when it was covered with two layers of clothes, your bra and your T-shirt. Your eyebrows jumped in surprise.
"Wow, you still like the right one better?"
↳Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"So this is the power imbalance they were talking about huh?"
The violet eyed infant stares at you blankly, having a "it won't be this way for long" look in his eyes. You're holding him in front of you while sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the cheekiest grin you could ever wear.
"No wonder you were so crazy about it. Having somebody wrapped around your finger... feels awesome!"
Still the same bored look.
"giving me the cold shoulder now? I'm just using simple logic to prove my point-which is also what you used to do. I'm saying that from this moment, you're totally and completely dependant on me"
Fyodor tilts his head to the side and gives you a weird look, tempting you to imitate his gesture. A strong feeling is causing you to brag about the current situation and tease him, and you're willingly giving into it.
"Alright. Since I'm the one in charge now, I'm setting a few ground rules. No more acting all workaholicly and staying up until late. No more skipping meals, mister. Im gonna feed you with my special milk, hehehe~ Also, I've got some confessions to make"
It's probably a bad decision to bring these up right now, but you're too captured in the heat of the moment to realize that.
"Ok. I've been trying to tell you this for quite a while. The truth is... I'm pregnant"
The unfazed look is still on.
"Yeah, that was a lie. The real truth is... I was the one who ate all your snacks"
Still no change in his expression.
"...But I assume you already know that. Ugh, keeping secrets from you is such a pain... could you not figure me out for just once?"
Fyodor doesn't seem very eager to respond. He's already very annoyed with how things have turned out and is not really in the mood to joke around. You come to that conclusion when he touches your forearm with his chubby little hand.
"You're gonna activate your ability and kill me, aren't you?"
↳Nikolai Gogol
"Quiz time!!"
Your baby boyfriend whines in annoyance.
"Who's gonna get paid one in his own coin and suffer like I did every time he teased me?"
You flash him a cocky smirk, matched with the way you're looking at him from above as he's lying on the bed. You're standing next to the bed, happier than you could ever be, planning all the steps of your revenge as you trash talk to him.
"That's right. It's no one but youuuuu! Hahahahaha!!"
Nikolai wants to prove to you that he's still strong and nobody can defeat him, but he realizes there's noway he can imply that other by a sulky attitude, which he reluctantly suffices to.
You hold his favorite snack in front of him and shake it, smiling wildly. "Come on darling! Have some! Eh? What are you waiting for? Awwwww! You can't? Then I'll help myself!"
You shoved the entire thing in your mouth and laughed hysterically.
"Nom nom* tastes nom* heavenly! No wonder you never let me have a bite!"
Nikolai is starting to feel a little guilty now. He didn't know that his teasings have made you a spiteful whore.
"You hate babies so much, and now you are one! That's the scariest punishment itself! Can you feel the power of karma? It's a bitch, ain't it? Well, now that you can't talk anymore, I have something to say to you!"
You bend over until there's a small gap between you, pointing at his tiny figure. The bullying attitude is all gone and instead, there's soft glare lying in your eyes.
"I want one of these. Give me one when you get back, Kolya"
You're wrong. This is the scariest punishment.
↳Saigiku Jouno
"Thank you for the meal!"
Jouno is upset. There are many unfortunate things happening for him at the moment. He doesn't like to be a baby. He doesn't want to be unable to do anything other than crying, pooping, eating and sleeping. More importantly, he doesn't want to feel your teeth on his cheeks.
"Mhm, so soft and squishy!" You smile sweetly and look at his puffy cheeks, stained with your bite marks in crimson. "I could just eat you up now, 'giku. You tatse so sweet!"
Anyone who hears this would be happy and blush slightly, but Jouno wasn't one of them, as he tilts his head and looks away, having the most adorable pout on his lips.
Grumpy as always.
"C'mon now, it's not that bad! Look on the bright side! Everyone will have to do everything for you since you can't do it yourself"
Jouno tilts his head back, his eyebrows jumped in surprise.
"Right, that wasn't a really good example of the bright side"
Sighing, you lay next to him on the matress, hands traveling through his white locks. His muscles relax a little bit as he gives into your warmth, nuzzling his head in your chest. You hum with a soft beam, inhaling his baby scent.
"You smell very nicely too, 'giku. Don't be too depressed about this. It's not the end of the world. We'll find a way to turn you back eventually. Plus..."
You lightly pat his back, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. "I can have you all to myself, since you can't go on any missions and leave me here all alone anymore"
Yeah, Jouno thinks, maybe it's not that awful after all.
↳Ranpo Adogawa
"Ouch! Why you- let go of my hair you aggressive baby!"
Ranpo cries a whine out and pulls your hair harder, leading you to scream back even louder.
"Stop it! What is wrong with you? I dont care how upset you are, I'm not gonna give you any sweets- ow ow ow!! Ranpo- I said let go of my fucking hair you dumbass!"
Your angry shout startles the dark haired baby. It's not just that he's little, you'd never talked like this to him before. Slowly loosening his grip on your hair, he starts sobbing quietly, covering his face with his chubby hands. This breaks your heart.
"Nooo... I'm sorry sweetie! Mommy- Aunty- god I dont even know what I am to you anymore! Whatever- I'm sorry ok? But you can't eat sweets baby boy, you're smart enough to know that, right?"
Smart enough to know that?? Huh!
Ranpo sees right through your little plan. He knows all these little tricks inside out- hell he was the one who taught you all of them; but what pisses him off is how it's working on him even though he knows your true intention.
The smirk you've been holding back shamelessly appears on your face when he wears a serious expression, nodding like someone who's given an important task and is determined to do it carefully and correctly, then points at your boobs.
Your smile instantly fades away.
"Shit. I'm not doing that"
↳Chuuya Nakahara
"Your struggle is hilarious to me"
Baby Chuuya watched you with a threatening glare. He was clearly unhappy about this situation, and you enjoying his frustration was not going to help him at all.
"I know you really need it right now, but honestly, I don't think your little tummy can digest that"
Merely ignoring you, he tried to open the bottle of wine he was struggling to hold with his chubby feet; but every time he pulled, the bottle would slip out of his not so tight grasp. He couldn't use his ability on it, since the bottle would sink into his little body. He couldn't even roll over on the bed, and his so called nanny was laughing instead of helping him.
Forget about all the things he'd been through. This was the true misery.
"Alright. Give me the bottle"
He didn't seem to agree, because he immediately hugged the bottle with all the strength he had, like it was his dearest thing. Your serious expression showed that you weren't going to give up either.
"You give me that bottle mister or you won't get extra milk tonight"
Reluctantly, he opened his arms and you snatched the bottle, putting it somewhere high. When you turned around, you saw him sulking.
"Don't be like that baby, you know you can't drink that right now. I thought you were a reasonable person hmm?"
The cute pout resting on his lips made you giggle and bend down to kiss his cheek. He was still pretty upset, so he looked away from you. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the little blush on his face.
You carefully held him up and looked at his tiny figure. His long hair was gone and instead, there were short ginger locks on his head. His bluebell eyes however, hadn't changed one bit, still as gorgeous as ever.
You smiled at him. "You want me to throw you up?"
He looked oblivious. He probably knew what you were talking about, but hadn't figured out whether you were serious or not.
Shaking your head to the side, you tightened your grip on his waist before throwing him up in the air, and catching him before he fell on the ground. He got so excited that he started laughing, letting out adorable baby noises.
"Aww, you like that huh? want me to do it again?"
He blinked.
"Ok! Three, two, one! Whoa!"
Chuuya had jumped higher than this before, but not once did he feel the thrill he was experiencing now. He was having the time of his life, flying in the air with no effort. Every time you threw him up, his mouth got opened wider, wider, and wider,
until vomit came out of it, landing on your chest.
There weren't any throwing and catching after that, since you were too busy looking at the vomit, shocked. But it wasn't him vomiting that caught you off guard, it was the vomit. It wasn't milk, it was wine.
"Ok, we need to talk about your drinking problem when you turn back to an adult"
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mistreatedangel · 3 months
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𝐁𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄, Rafe Cameron.
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SUMMARY: valentines day sucked, no matter what you did.
WORD COUNT: 0.8k
WARNINGS: none!
[MAIN MASTERLIST] [OUTER BANKS MASTERLIST]
divider by @s-hyia & @saradika-graphics !
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"God do I hate Valentine times." You complained to Sarah, with your head resting on her lap. As she racked her hands through you hair, humming in a agreement. You always spent this Holiday alone, no matter if you had a boyfriend of not. It was always alone.
"It shouldn't be this bad this year. You know you have me right?"
"What about John b?"
"He'll be fine, it's just one day." She teased pinching your checks with a smile on her lips. "I don't wanna take you from him. That would be messed up."
Rolling her eyes, Sarah adjusted you heads pulling you up to look into her eyes. "It's fine I promise you." She reinsured placing a light kiss on your cheeks.
"I mean you could always ask jj." She teased, moving her eyebrows up and down with a suggestive look.
"Lord no!" You gasped jerking out of her hold, with a disgusted look on your face. "Ew no! He's like a brother Sarah."
"Just saying."
"nope, nope, nope!"
A comfortable silence filled the room, as you rested your head back on Sarah's shoulder in her living room. Glancing back at the tv in—front of the both you.
Like a moth to a flame, Rafe was drawn from his room. Making his steps known as he walked down the stairs with purpose, making sure to make ever step count.
"Ugh here he comes." You grumbled picking at your fingernails. Being around him, even in a big room like this made you nervous. Maybe it was the way he carried him self. Like he was the king of the world. Or maybe it was the fact that you have been seeing him behind Sarah and everyone's back. maybe it was that.
"Sarah." He acknowledgeable. Nodding his head at you. Walking to the kitchen that over looked the living room, pulling open the cabinets, grabbing a plate.
"or him. . . no judging if you do. you know I want you to be happy." She shared eyeing her brother down.
Shaking you head. "Nah he doesn't seem like the type to actually have a valentines in general, nor a girlfriend."
"Never know till you treat. Give me a minute, i gotta use the bathroom." She told you, patting your shoulders as she moved to move from the couch. Eyeing her brother was she walked pass him. While she did the same with narrowed eyes glancing over at you for no more then a few seconds before snapping the back down at the pizza box that rested on the stove.
"So. . . what are you doing for valentines times?" You questioned him getting up from the couch, slowly walking over to the counter. Looking up into Rafes eyes peered into yours, watching ever little detail.
"Uhm. Why do you ask? What are you doing." He asked snarky, raising an eyebrow at you.
"I asked you first."
"But I asked you second. So answer."
"C'mon Rafe. What are you doing for real?"
"Nothing."
"You sure, cause i could have swear i heard Sofia say you were planning on taking her own the yacht." You accused him, arms crossed across your chest. Staring down the older male, with a frown on your face.
"Why would I do that, when your here? Explain that to me."
"I don't know Rafe you tell me. Cause last time I heard she was the one you were banging at the party last week."
"It was a misjudgment on my behalf okay. I told you this."
"Whatever you tell yourself."
"I'm being truthful for once in my life." He told you, rolling his eyes. Making his way around that counter that was blocking you from him. Shaking your head in denial. No he was a known liar to get what he wanted. "I promises you, I'm telling the truth." He pleaded with you. Reaching out to grab your arms. He need you within reach before you pulled away more.
"Please don't lie to me Rafe. Please."
"I promise. No matter what you hear it will always be you."
"Even if she made you chose?"
"Even then." He told you truthful, with a small smile on his lips, glancing down at your lips.
"Then have me." You breathless mumbled glancing at his lips, biting your bottom lip.
You didn't have to tell him twice before she crashed him lips with yours, gripping tighter into your hips pulling you up for a more comfortable position. Devouring you lips, grunting into your mouth. Drawing a moan from yours lips, as you fought for dominance. Which you were sadly not winning. He could stay here for the rest of him life. But not only was Sarah's a few doors down, you both were in the middle of the living room.
Breaking away from you, with blown out eyes. Seemly glossed over, trying to caught you breath. Peering down at you with love filled eyes, "Will you be mine?"
"Do you even have to ask."
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shotmrmiller · 4 months
Note
okay so !!!! so what if you’re a jealous and possessive pet? like your boy tells you it’s okay to play with the other boys and the other pets and even encourages you like sucking their cock or riding them or eating out one of the other pets but the image of him doing that with someone else’s pet just shatters you. if they’re in a different room that’s bad but being able to see it happen is even worse. you can see the smile they give and the sounds they make and you thought you were special to them but it doesn’t feel like that — how would the boys reconcile something like that?
like knowing the other boys and pets are sharing and playing and you feel bad, especially when they’re all together and everyone is playing but your boy is the only one who’s not and it tears you up because you want him to enjoy and have fun but the thought of him kissing someone else or fucking them, finishing inside them… you could cry.
(bonus angst where one of the boys goes and visits another pet and comes back smelling like them, maybe marked and obviously fucked, and you hadn’t necessarily talked about that yet and it just crushes you and you refuse to sleep in the same bed as them for…. well, for awhile.)
UGH. YOU. I LOVE ANGST.
im a whore for hurt/no comfort so ill try to help write something here cuz if it was me, they can kick rocks. but its not. So.
for the first part, oh man. It's a bottle-it-in situation, imo, because i feel this in my soul. The low grunts you worked so hard to wrestle out of them are easily tumbling out of their mouth now, because of your hard work. It's something so gut-wrenching because that face of ecstasy should only be for you? Then the insecurities kick in. What if they're prettier, what if they're tighter, what if they're simply in another league altogether? (this is me as a hit dog that is hollering)
he's never treated your playdates as a chance to essentially cheat without cheating, he honestly only wanted you to make friends—wanted to expand on the kink you live and breathe by. But regardless, that's how it feels. And this is where the shutdown begins. The silence, the lack of enthusiasm for wanting to put on your collar, the distancing, and when he says, "Does my pet want to play with me today?" you burst into tears. Ugly sobbing, loud wails.
He freezes, for a second, because never in the time you've been together has he ever heard you cry like this. It's agonizing and when he immediately throws himself at your feet, he tries to cup your face with his large hands when you jerk yourself away from his touch.
You've never rejected his touch.
His heart cracks with hairline fractures because this is his love, his future that's falling into pieces in front of him and you don't even want his comfort. He lowers his hands and fists at the fabric of his trousers to hold back from reaching out to you.
For the first time in a long time, his eyes well with tears, and he swallows thickly, trying to open up his throat a bit to be able to say something, anything.
His voice warbles as he says, "Baby, talk to me." He gives you plenty of time to respond, but you don't. Once the tears are exhausted and your body is worn out, you simply turn your head to the side, eyes away from him. The tears that had distorted his vision now fall, dripping onto the cold floor he's still kneeling on. You don't even want to look at him.
"Talk to me, baby, please." His forehead touches your knee. "Please." His tone is desperate as he begs. The sight of a man who's killed people with his bare hands, sniveling by your feet pulls at your own heartstrings. Sigh.
"Would you like to know where you erred?" He whips his head up to look at you, nodding like an idiot.
"Your mistake, was assuming I wanted to share and be shared." He opens his mouth to say something, but you're not here to listen to him. He's here to listen to you.
"No. You presumed I wanted to the same as the other pets, just because we share the same kink? I had to sit there and watch— listen to you fuck someone else, and I couldn't say anything because then I would've been the buzzkill."
You clench your jaw and look directly into his eyes. "Do you know what it's like? No. You don't. You forget that the boys are your friends, your brothers in arms. Not mine. I sat with acquaintances, at best, and had to stomach whatever the fuck that was."
"I no longer wish to—" but he panics here, adapts a crazy-eyed look and cuts you off.
"No, no, no. Please, god no. You're my everything, you, I—" he hiccups, and his shoulders start to shake once he wraps his arms around your waist, and lowers his head onto your knees again, and chokes out, "I am nothing without you. Please."
Having cried all your tears, your sadness fades into sharp, biting anger. "It didn't seem like it though. You were quick to pass me around like some harlot. You're just gonna give me to anyone you see? Hm? What about the neighbor that has been hitting on m—" and he jerks his head back up, eyes deadly, dark with hostility.
"I'd fucking kill him for even having the audacity to ask if he could touch you the way I do."
Scoffing, you say, "And that's how I felt. Fucking strangers touching what should be only mine, kissing what is only mine," your tone turns hushed, "what I thought was mine, anyway."
Holding his gaze, you purse your lips. "I need time to think. You broke my trust. I'm not sure how to move forward from here."
--
this is too long im sorry uh, so he gives you all the time in the world, all the space you need, for which you're grateful. He's not overbearing, never crowds you. never says anything out of line. He seems fully repentant, dotes on you like his only reason for existing is to keep you as happy as you can feel. He tells you he loves you every bloody day, even if you don't repeat it back. He says it firm, unwavering.
And that's the balm that allays the pain in your heart. But you love him, still, so so much. With a deep breath, you tell him that you're not going to leave him, that you love him still and that's why it hurt the way that it did. But he'll have a ton of groveling to do.
The shaky smile he gives is full of relief. He pulls you to him, in an embrace so tight that you can barely even breathe. And after, he holds your face so tenderly, as if you're made of porcelain, and asks for a kiss, one you agree to. It conveys everything he's been sayings all this time, that he loves you.
and months pass, intimacy slowly turns back to what it was, but with reverent kisses and worship spilling from his lips. Words so sweet, that you break down in tears mid-act because you feel something finally shift back into place. Ofc, he freaks because "Darling, oh god, what's happened" but you pull him in for a kiss, and just tell him that you love him so much. His smile is soft as he says it back.
Then you pull out the collar again, and he panics but you calm him. That you feel ready. You want to play with your owner, and your heart is in his hands, to please take care of it.
A couple of tears fall from his eyes as he clicks your collar back around your neck and swears to never hurt you this way again.
Playdates turn into him being the only one to touch you and vice versa. And he answers to no one when they ask why.
i had a good time im sorry its so long I JUST LOVE ANGST PLEASE.
I hope i gave you what you were looking for ❤
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luveline · 6 months
Note
EDDIE AND ROAN , roan and eddie have a little “argument” theyre both so sad and r fixes everything 🥹🥹🥹
eddie and roan ♡ (almost) step mom!reader
“I can't give it to you,” Eddie says, shrugging, “it's for Christmas.” 
“I hate you.” 
You pick your head up from the book you're reading. Roan crosses her arms over her chest defiantly, and Eddie mirrors her pose. 
“That's not true. If I give it to you now, we won't have anything nice to eat on Christmas day. Then it won't feel special.” 
“Santa will bring more.” 
It's sound logic for a kid, but unfortunately for you and Eddie, Santa continues to be a work of fiction, and so he won't be replacing the expensive Christmas pound cake Roan wants to open. 
Eddie shakes his head. “He brings presents, babe. I pay for the food.” 
“You can buy more.” 
“Roan, I'm saying no.” 
Roan's eyes narrow to dark slits. “Dad, that's not fair.” 
“It is, babe. You can't have everything you want just because you want it, this is for a special occasion. We have to save things sometimes.” 
“Ugh,” she says, frowning deeply at him. She's adorable even like this, and you can't help smiling in your seat, watching her show off. “You suck!” 
“You suck,” Eddie says back immediately. 
Roan drops her arms from her chest. She stays quiet, perhaps hoping Eddie will say sorry, and when there's no apology to be found she takes off running up the stairs, huffing and puffing. The slam of her bedroom door shakes the house. 
You put your bookmark between the pages of your book and let it fall closed. You hadn't expected to get very far. “That's not very nice,” you say. 
Eddie groans and shoves the pound cake under a loaf of bread. “I'm not nice,” he says, dragging his feet to your chair, slumping over you, and shoving his face against your neck. You cradle his head instinctively. “I'm mean.” 
“I heard some guy up north has you on his shit list.” 
“Why doesn't she get that I want to eat it too? I hate saying no. I don't want to say no.” 
“But if you said yes to everything she wanted we'd be destitute,” you say, a sorry softness to it as you stroke his hair. He's very warm where he's pressed against you. 
“I know.” 
“Having a bad day?” you ask. 
“The worst.” 
“Want me to try and fix it?” 
“Would you?” he asks, pulling his head up, his voice full of awe as though it was the most generous thing you could have ever offered. 
“Not budging on the cake, right?” 
He shakes his head. “What will we eat Christmas day?” Eddie smiles hopefully, the doe shape of his eyes emphasised, as is the dark hiding of lashes surrounding them. “Tell her I was totally being cranky because she was cranky too, please. And call me a bitch or something, she loves that.” 
You tuck one of his curls behind his ears in goodbye, taking the stairs two at a time to check on your girl. 
Roan is upside down in bed, feet pointed at the pillow and head curled away from you at the bottom. She's got one sock falling off and her room is an explosion of toys as usual, but what upsets you most is the sound of weak sniffles smothered in her blankets. 
Poor girl. Eddie's repeated insult must've struck a nerve. 
“It's me, Roro. Can I come in?” 
“No.” 
“Just for a bit. We can snuggle or something, I…” You smile at her as she lifts her head. “I could really use one. What do you think?” 
You make yourself at home at the top of her bed. Her double feels like a queen size with just the two of you in the middle. Her sheets are flat and tucked still from the morning, and the springs chirp in protest as she waddles across them on her knees, dropping into the invitation of your open arm with a sniff. 
“Dad was so mean to me…” 
“He said something mean, huh?” you ask gently, bringing your hand to the back of her head. Her curls are thick as Eddie's with the same frizz toward the top of her head, soft and fuzzy to touch. “I think you upset him too, when you said he sucked.” 
“I didn't mean it.” 
“I know. Do you think daddy knows that? I bet he does.” 
She whines under your chin, her cheek sticky where it brushes your neck. “It's not fair,” she cries. 
Her sobs are easily soothed. You shush her, rubbing the flat plane of her back with a loving palm. These tears are a mixture of things, you reckon, hybrid crocodiles —she's not getting her way and she's not happy about that, but there's a real injustice there too. It's hard being little sometimes. You don't get to choose what you want, and you can't understand why, either. 
“Listen, babe, I think daddy was right, and we can't have the cake, because the cake cost money, okay? And me and daddy need money for some other things, like fish food for Lucky, and dinner tonight, does that make sense?” 
“But we have the cake,” she says, irritation seeping into her clumsy inflection. 
“We do,” you agree, pulling her up into your chest for a good squeeze, “but that's because we're trying to save it up. If we eat it now, we might not have enough money to buy it again. Daddy isn't trying to be mean, yeh? Just wants you to have a special day…” You run your fingertip down her back, laughing as she shivers, and again when she giggles. “‘Cos Christmas is so soon! And we're being good. So let's go make daddy say sorry, that way he can be back on the good list.” 
“Am I still on the good list?” she asks worriedly. 
You don't like that she's upset, but you like getting to be her mom. “You're on my good list. Let's go see dad and I'm sure Santa will put you straight back to the top.” 
Roan drags her feet just like her dad did, apprehensive on the way down the stairs and back to the kitchen. Eddie's waiting and pretending he isn't, leant up against the countertop with a candy bar in hand. “It's not cake, babe, but you can still have a treat?” he offers. 
Roan steps forward and drops her head into his thigh. “You're not nice.” 
“You said it first, baby,” he says, but he bends over her to kiss her forehead, the tip of his nose brushing her hair, “but you're right. I'm sorry, you don't suck.” 
“Well. You don't suck either.” 
It sounds like she's asking a question. Eddie smiles up at you, and then he drops his face into her completely and starts whining. “Why don't you love me anymore, Roly-poly? You used to be soooo nice to me.” 
“It's ‘cos I'm hungry.” 
He snorts and passes her the candy bar. “Why do I doubt that?” 
“I don't know… Do you want half?” 
“Better make it a quarter, bub. I think Y/N deserves some for being the best mom ever, don't you?” 
Roan turns to look at you. “How much does that leave for me?” she whispers. 
“Still half,” you whisper back. 
She smiles happily and forces the candy bar back into her dad's hands, demanding Eddie open it and break it up into pieces for her. He spares her the hard work, and everyone forgets about the Christmas cake for a few weeks. 
868 notes · View notes
Text
nothing serious.
professor! anakin skywalker.
a/n: hiii! so, @fuckmyskywalker came up with the idea for this concept, and I've decided to write my own fic on it! LOVEE me some starwars boy. But put him in a SUIT?? drool worthyyy.
tw!: smut. lots of smut. ahem. p in v sex, sort of breeding kink? it's small but it's there. use of the name pet!! unprotected sex! do not attempt! dumification kink? also miniscule but there. big big sir kink. Anakin loves asserting the fact that he's the top here.
Disclaimer: 18+ only please! I'm not responsible for the media you consume as an adolescent!
description: Attending the most sought after university definitely was the best decision you'd made regarding your college career, but one perverted professor almost makes you want drop out entirely. Anakin Skywalker, was in no short terms, egotistical and a hard-ass. At least that's what you knew, so why is he asking to see you after class?
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Ah, Corscuscant University. One of the most popular STEM universities in the country. The same STEM university you attended. Being a biology major, it was a no brainer for you come here. When you arrived as a freshman Corscuscant felt like your dream school, but like every dream, reality had set in. Your painful reality was Anakin Skywalker; your math professor. Professor Skywalker was one of, if not the most attractive man you had ever seen. He knew he was good looking, too. Almost every person in school had a crush on him, one of those people being you. That's not to say you didn't find him annoying as hell, but you could appreciate a good complexion when you saw one. Despite his good looks, it didn't change the fact that Anakin Skywalker was an egotistical hard ass, whose courses were next to impossible.
It was easy to ignore his big mouth and jabs at any poor soul unfortunate enough to get a question wrong in the beginning, focusing on your studies and logarithmic equations. However, as the class began to get more difficult, your counselor started suggesting attending his after school lessons. Something you couldn't be bribed to attend. But alas, hell hath no fury like a college counselor.
The good thing about Anakin's tutoring is that it's only on Fridays. The bad thing, is that it's a ghost town most days. if he's lucky, Anakin might get 2 or 3 students. So by the second semester, it became just you and him.
Anakin Skywalker was now aware of your existence. He was aware you sucked at math, and he was probably aware of your attraction to college professors who made even Pythagoras hate math. So now here the two of you were.
Just earlier that morning, you'd been notified that the tutoring had been canceled, so your plans for the evening were to go home and sleep. But, before you can walk out of the classroom, Professor Skywalker calls your name. Leaning against his chair, he looks at you piercingly. "Come to my office as soon as possible. We need to discuss your grade in my class."
"Yes professor. " You stuttered, sending a questioning glance to your friend. You walked towards Anakin's office, knowing he'd already be in the room. You hesitated to enter, dreading whatever miserable information he had to bestow upon you, in private. You noticed while peering into the room that he's got a paper in his hand. 'please don't be mine,' you pray.
Once you entered, you moved to stand in front of his desk. "Are you free to stay awhile? I have some questions about your last exam." He says, seeming relaxed. You DID have plans, no, you were not free. Ugh. You guess you can't deny your teacher, so you nod politely. "Great to hear." He says, motioning for you to walk around the desk.
Anakin rolls out his seat, and moves to stand. Now standing in his personal bubble, per his suggestion, you fidget with your hands. "So, what about my exam? Did I fail it, sir?" You start to get worried. "No, no, nothing like that. You actually made top of the class once I graded it." Anakin praised. "I'd actually like to offer you some extra credit."
Anakin motioned for you to take a seat on top of his desk. "What kind of credit?" You asked, now level eye level with his chin. "Just some extra course work and a few more sessions in the week." Anakin shrugged, almost distracted. You hesitated, "I suppose I can, uhm, do that." Anakin smiled at your stutter. He placed his hand under your chin and lifted it to meet his eyes. "You're certainly obedient. I like that." You felt your brain screech to a halt. "Excuse me, what?"
Is Professor Skywalker hitting on you? This has to be a dream. You look up at him, and lo and behold, he's staring right back. He looks hungry, like you're a delicious piece of meat. "You behave when and how i tell you to. Has anyone ever told you that's attractive?" Anakin clarifies, placing both of his hands on desk, trapping you under him. You bristle at his statement. "Sir! that's inappropriate!" Anakin just laughs, and leans in. He says, quietly, "That's alright, pet. It's only inappropriate if someone finds out. I don't intend on telling a soul."
You feel your nose subconsciously scrunch up in confusion. "Pet?" Where did that come from? "You're my little teacher's pet, aren't you? It'll be our little secret." Anakin places one hand on your thigh, the other further along the desk to prop himself up. You can feel his hand wander to your hip, and you're not sure you want to stop him. You didn't know someone's hands could feel that good, with his feather like movements. You're about to let him continue, until you remind yourself that you didn't lock his door. Anyone could walk in.
"Wait, not here. Someone will see." You try to push Anakin away, but he grabs your wrist to restrain you, gently. "Yes here. I can't stop myself." Anakin ducks his head below your chin, and places butterfly kisses along your throat. You hold it in, but you want to moan at his touch. Anakin pulls away, "I'm going to give you your first extra credit assignment. Answer these 3 questions."
You try to focus on his words and not the pooling heat between your legs. "Yes sir." You're pretty sure Anakin noticed you squeezing your thighs together like no tomorrow, and he's just saying these things to rile you up. He quietly moans at your obedience. "Good girl, keeping doing that." You look at him, "What, calling you sir?"
Anakin nods, giving your hip a squeeze. "Yeah, baby. It means you know who's in charge here."
Clearing his throat, Anakin begins. "Now, question one. are you aware of how tempting your body has been to me?" You can feel your cheeks lighting on fire. He's certainly been bold. "N-no sir."
"That's okay, beauty, I'll show you. Question two: will you let me kiss you?"
Oh fuck. You knew that was coming. Oh well, you only live once. "Yes sir." As soon as the words left your lips, Anakin had cupped your cheek, pulling you into a passionate kiss. Anakin was a good kisser. You'd figured that was probably true a while ago, but now? To feel him? It was overwhelming. He pushed against your mouth, using one hand to lift your leg against his hip. Using the new angle, Anakin deepened the kiss causing you both to moan against each other.
You can feel Anakin get more and more aggressive in the kiss, to the point he's pushing the desk a little. You pull away from him for a moment, causing him to chase your lips. "Anakin.." You start, but he cuts you off with a growl. "Who, pet?" You should've expected that one. "You, sir. You're pushing the desk apart." You correct yourself quietly, murmuring your concerns into his ear. Anakin frowns in thought before donning a sultry grin. "I've got a better place for us to continue, dear pet." Before you can question him, Anakin wraps your legs around his waist and takes your mouth in a kiss. He lifts you from the desk before walking towards the couch in the corner of his office.
You yelp as Anakin gently throws you onto it, and you're once again locking lips.
"Mm, sir.." You moaned into his mouth, feeling him crawl on top of you. Anakin smiles, looking down at such a pretty sight. "Such a good girl, pet. You gonna spread f'me?" Anakin tapped your thighs, and you pulled them apart at his request. Anakin settled himself between your legs. "For the last question, pet," Anakin pulls up your skirt and hooks his fingers into the hem of your underwear. "How badly do you want me to fuck you?" Feeling your heart speed up, you replied shaking, "So badly, sir. Please."
"Good girl. you've earned yourself an A+." He rasps, sitting up and undoing his belt. Craning your head, you watch as Anakin unzips his trousers. You almost gasp when he pulls out his dick. You're not even sure you can take him, with how large he is. "It's alright, pet, no need to look scared." Anakin cooed, kissing your jaw. He lifted up your skirt, and pulled on the hem of your underwear. Discarding them, you were now bare for his eyes to see. "We'll go slow, baby." Anakin reassured you, lining himself up with your entrance. Gently as Anakin could be, he pushed into you. Whimpering, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was both painful and overwhelming, and you instinctually pushed at his chest. "Relax, little pet, relax." Anakin grunted, already being squeezed like a balloon waiting to be popped. Anakin finally bottomed out, after what felt like forever. It felt so good. "Tell me when, darling." Anakin refused to move until you gave him a sign. Taking several deep breaths, you nodded. "No, pet. give me words. Use them, baby."
"Please, sir."
"Please what, my girl?"
You knew Anakin was getting impatient, but you were so overwhelmed with pleasure it was hard to form words. You him growl in your ear. Feeling his hand touch your soft flesh, Anakin gripped your waist and moved without warning, "I'm not going to wait anymore, little pet." You couldn't help but let out a guttural moan. Holy shit. He was so big, and you've never felt so filled in your life. "Sir..!" You cried, pulling him down and kissing him. Anakin begins to kiss you passionately, pressing you into the sofa. His mouth meets yours in a loving and desperate kiss as he starts to move faster, causing your loud whining to be muffled. If you weren't blissed out, you'd die of embarrassment at the lewd noises the two of you created. Anakin, on the other hand, loved it. Feeling him speed up, you pulled away from his mouth and almost screamed. You knew you were close, and you told him so. "Sir, please! Close, close, please.. mm," You were practically crying from how good he felt. "I know pet, I know." Anakin replied, grunting when he felt you squeeze him harder. "God, keep squeezing and I'm gonna burst, baby, fuck."
Hooking his hands under your thighs, Anakin lifted them onto his shoulders, pressing you in half. The new angle made your insides burst with pleasure, making you scream. "C'mon pet, you can do it." Anakin encouraged, hitting all the right spots harder. "Cum for me baby, cum all over my dick, yeah?" His words sent shivers through your spine, and your eyes rolled. It was too much. The coil in your tummy snapped, and you finished with a moan.
However, Anakin didn't stop. Despite your release, Anakin moved even faster. "No, no, sir! I can't!" You cried, already overstimulated to high heaven. "Don't be selfish pet, i know you can do it," Tightening his grip on your thighs, Anakin grunted over, and over, and over with every thrust. "Don't want my cum, baby? huh? Don't want your teacher to fill you up till you're full?"
Too fucked out to use your brain to respond, you squeezed around him again. It was too much for you, and now, the last straw for him. Letting out an animalistic growl, Anakin buried himself as far in you as he could, bottoming out fully. Your tummy felt so warm, being painted with his load for what felt like forever to you.
He collapses on top of you, panting softly. "Such a good girl f'me, baby. M'so proud of you." He coos at you, still out of breath from the intensity of the moment. After a few seconds, Anakin lifts his head and chuckles. "Poor thing, too dumb to respond to me?" He gives your thigh a gentle squeeze. You whine at his teasing, pouting at him. He leans to your ear and whispers, "Don't be shy, baby. You did so good f'me."
526 notes · View notes
onlyseokmins · 1 year
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show and tell • l.s.m.
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Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), best friends/idiots to lovers!au Warnings: swearing, lotssss of teasing/switch dynamics, tickling, reader is obsessed w/ seokmin's body, they're idiots your honor and they're a lil bit in L-word 🤮, mingyu thrown under the bus as always, ONE BAD PUN BC I THINK I'M FUNNY, sex is as silly as me, BIG COCK SEOK 🗣️ like he's fucking huge okay, oral (both rec. kind of), attempt at 69 but seok's a menace the entire time, fingering, CRYING/TEARS, possession, biting, marking, multiple orgasms, squirting, lil bit of cumplay ig?, mentions of prev partners, overstim... i think that's it lmk if i missed smth 🥵😰 WC: 6.5k A/N: um so this is the most self-indulgent thing i dared to post you're WELCOME i shall now go die in a hole to never be seen ever again... happy belated birthday to the loml ugh ty to all the frens that let me sob in their dms and to @onlymingyus for helping me with a damn title 💖
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The commonly shared belief among your friend group was that Seokmin is abnormally soft when it comes to you.
You thought they were full of shit. 
The bestest buddy in the world was also the softest ray of morning sunshine to ever exist in general. You could barely count on one hand the number of people he genuinely ever showed disdain towards or didn't get along with. All in all — it was extremely hilarious in your opinion because Seokmin's fluffy personality greatly contrasted with his lean, sharp physique. 
Ironically, the main reason you ended up in this position.
Just moments before, you were on his bed and caged between his arms. The dog tag necklace you'd gifted, engraved with his birth date and initials, swinging in the same rhythm that your heart rapidly beats with the small space separating your bodies. A sly grin raises the corners of his lips, the long fingers of his left-hand creeping up to trail lightly at your sides.
"I know you have abs."
Seokmin's hands fly up to wrap defensively around his body, though all in good jest. "You can't just ask a dude how many abs he has!"
"And you can't lie to me by saying you don't have any! Do you know how many of your dude-bros have blabbed about your crazy gym routine to me? Can you even guess how many girls bitched at me 'cause you weren't shirtless at my pool party? As if that's my fault?"
"But it's mine?"
"No, all I have to do is prove them wrong. So, show me the goods!"
You sucked at making up your mind — what to eat, what to wear, what to watch, what to do — okay, but who doesn't? It's something Seokmin was very familiar with, hence him always having to pick up wherever you left off. He also knows just as well that once you've settled on something, you'll see it through to the very end. Eventually. 
Which normally works out in his favor except in moments like now. So he resorts to a different preventative measure — tickling the decisiveness right out of you.
Like hell you'll let him do what he wants.
Maybe the whispers about him being soft for you were right. After all, it's to your utter benefit when you push at his shoulder. Only a bit unbalanced, he easily falls onto his side and you scramble to climb on top of him at record speed, one arm pinning Seokmin's wrists against the pillow beneath his head. 
Unfortunately, this looks like one of your 3,718,493,842 very bad choices in life. Once again, something you didn't think all the way through. Sure, you've bested Seokmin at light wrestling and play-fighting before — back when you were toddlers and all he did was cry.
Now, at adult ages, it seems like a horrible, terrible, very bad idea to have him beneath you. Your fingers play with the hem of his black t-shirt that's ridden up ever so slightly, unbearablely close to the leather band of his silver belt buckle. 
Seokmin's pupils are blown wide as he looks up at you with a strange, almost starry-eyed look of surprise. Black bangs flipped up across the dark gray of his blanket, silver chain askew shining against his collarbones, mouth slightly ajar.
Suddenly you're hyper-aware of sitting right on top of him, completely obliterating the distance between your bodies earlier, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination from what you can feel nestled in between your legs. 
"Would it be inappropriate of me to take your shirt off right now?" you can't help but ask.
He laughs, all breathless and high-pitched like he does when he's nervous. "You're asking for permission?"
"Seokmin," you whine and shift your hips in protest without thinking. Another bad move. Oops. "I'm trying to be polite."
"You have me pinned to my bed with the intent to strip me and you're worried about being polite?"
"Oh, please, you could easily break free."
It's true. His wrists twitch a bit under your grasp, almost like he's attempting to do just that but you're faster once more. Or he's just letting you have your way with him. Whatever the case, your other hand firmly holds both of his down which only brings your faces closer together.
"Don't move."
"Okay," Seokmin agrees and licks his lips, "at least you know what consent means."
"Are you consenting?"
"Depends on what to."
"Me taking off your shirt."
"… Should I be flattered?"
"Very."
Brown eyes close, his brow furrowing. For a minute, you think you've accidentally taken things too far and are about to quickly apologize and backpedal before things backfire until his lips quirk up and Seokmin snorts.
"Never imagined you'd be stripping me like this."
You would agree because what the hell? All this for some abs? But the way he says it makes you pause.
"Have you imagined this before?"
Expecting him to panic or something, you're even more taken aback when he bites his lip like he's holding back more laughter. 
"And what if I have? You'll be offended even if I lie." 
You narrow your eyes challengingly while his sparkle. "Are you… flirting with me?" 
"That is not how I flirt but okay." 
"You're being weird. Weird weird. Like super-duper weird." 
"Says the one soaking my jeans, right now." 
You want to scream. Instead, you let out a scandalized gasp, eyes widening. The effort it takes to bolt away means you must release Seokmin. Something that doesn't even cross your mind with the shame heating up your cheeks, mortification setting off every sirening alarm in your nervous system.
Your first mistake.
Countless other mistakes will be made after this, but looking back — could they really be watered down to just a mistake after the end results? Why you're even so embarrassed in the first place is beyond you. And your best friend has zero intentions of letting you get away from him.
The minute Seokmin's hands are freed, one flies to keep your hips pressed against his while the other gently braces your back. Lifting his torso up with insane core strength he clearly was lying about not having, you have no choice but to wrap an arm instinctively around his neck like a koala. Your other hand curls into a fist, clinging against the fabric straining with the flex of his chest muscles while simultaneously attempting to push him back in a futile effort.
"Breathe," Seokmin murmurs in mild concern. His eyes crinkle as he smiles encouragingly. "Breathe for me, babe."
You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath. If you inched any closer forward, your nose would brush against his, and leaning too far back would end up with him on top of you again.
"This is all your fault, babe."
"You're the one that started this in the first place, babe."
"All I wanted was to see your abs," your voice drops to a pathetic whisper, "babe."
"All you had to do was ask, silly."
"I did!"
To your horror, he leans in even closer with a devious smirk so his nose brushes tenderly against yours. "For yourself. Not others."
"What… what are you playing at Seokmin?"
"It's like you misinterpret everything I do on purpose."
"I — "
"If you think I'm just playing around you're sorely mistaken."
A beat of silence. "Then what are you doing?"
"Nothing," he says innocently even though the hand on your back trails upwards and not-so-innocently unclasps the bra underneath your shirt. 
Your jaw drops. Of course, your modest top is still on and the shoulder straps keep your undergarment in place. Yet, you feel naked with the way Seokmin shamelessly ogles your covered chest and lets out a satisfied groan, pleased that you weren't wearing a sports bra. After all, it's not the first time he's done that for you — but it is under this strange context.
"Seokmin — "
"I'll do whatever you want me to do. Tell me." His voice is low, rougher than you've ever heard, causing tingles to shoot down your spine at the way he says your name. "I should take full responsibility for whatever happens."
His last sentence echoes over and over inside your head because yeah, what the hell is going to happen? — until you blurt out, "You find me attractive?"
Finally, Seokmin acts the way you expect and are familiar with, his shy demeanor coming out like sun rays peeking through overcast clouds. Bowing his head, forehead flopping on your shoulder, he admits defeat. 
"As if that's even a question, goofball."
"No way — there's no way! My bestie, you, find me, your bestie, like. Hot?"
"Look, I know it's cliché to fall for your friend and all that stupid shit," he grumbles, "but you don't have to sound so shocked. I already know thanks to Mingyu."
You freeze. "Know what?"
"… You're really going to make me say it?" he laughs in disbelief and shakes his head against your shoulder, causing your loose strap to slide down. "When my pride's already in tatters?"
Urging Seokmin to pick up his head and look at you, you face his brown eyes straight-on and cup his flushed cheek. "What did Mingyu say that crushed your pride?"
He sighs. "He told you I liked you before I ever got the chance to say it myself to you."
Your eyebrows raise. "He did?"
"Yeah. And I thought you just. Well. I don't know, I thought you were just ignoring it out of consideration or something. Obviously. Since you didn't say anything."
"… All 'cause I was pretty sure he blabbered about accidentally spilling the beans to you about me liking you."
The both of you pause, silently cursing poor Mingyu. He did mean well. Somehow.
"You're joking right," Seokmin whispers, "is this real?"
"What makes you think it's not."
"Because you've only ever returned my feelings in my dreams."
Your pride swells at that, wrapping your arms around his neck daringly. "Dream about me often?"
He falls backward on the bed, taking you down with him with your bodies pressed tightly together. You admire his handsome features with renewed thirst while he shuts his eyes, no longer forcing yourself to view him through the platonic lenses you'd kept on for so long.
Then his eyes flash back open and you flinch at the burning desire blazing within them. He's never looked at you like that, at least not directly and it ignites the equal yearning you feel for him like a match.
"Yeah," he answers your teasing question, "I do."
Just the thought alone makes you dizzy. Your best friend, your sweet and lovely Seokmin who puts up with all your bullshit, laying here on this exact bed with thoughts of you consuming his mind. Pining for you. Wanting you. Shit, you think he deserves to have all his fantasies come true. And you're more than happy to help him out. 
"What do we do in your dreams?"
"Everything. Anything."
An iron-clad grip will probably leave bruises behind but it's not enough to stop you from a slow, lazy grind of your hips. You sit up for more leverage, hands on his broad shoulders for support, watching with smugness oozing out of your smile as he struggles to continue his wholesome thoughts.
"Holding hands, cute dates, buying you pretty things… "
"C'mon babe," you tease, "what else?"
"Ah… " Seokmin sighs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his eyes though it can't hide the flush creeping up his neck, to his cheeks, and coloring his cute ears. "You know… "
"Nah, I don't. Not unless you tell me." 
"… Just gets lonely in bed. At night. Cold."
"We've slept together before when I've stayed the night and vice versa."
"Mhm, but never with my dick inside of you."
You coo, trying to keep up your unbothered façade as though the quickening pace of your hips isn't making an insane mess of his lap. 
"Poor little Seokminnie had to jerk off all by himself." Leaning down to whisper maliciously in the ear that isn't shielded by his elbow, "Or did you do it while I was laying next to you because you were so frustrated?"
"As if," he scoffs, "and I'm not sure what you mean by little."
Like a switch has flipped, two hands return and grip your hips, keeping them stationary. To prove his point hard, it's Seokmin's turn to grind his pelvis up into the moist heat of your covered cunt while holding you still to feel every agonizingly delicious drag of his cock. The way he can feel you pulse against him even through your thin shorts, the devastating whimper that leaves your mouth when the rough fabric manages to catch your clit just right make up for the mildly gross stickiness of precum inside of his jeans.
A sadistic grin leers at you, almost a snarl. Such a jarring contrast to the normally soft, fond looks you're used to and a shudder runs through your body at the shock, another rush of heated arousal dripping from your pussy.
It's cute, Seokmin thinks to himself, how you put up this act and think you're the one in control when it's really me, the one whose lap you're on.
"Can you even blame me?" he growls, not waiting nor expecting any answer as he sits back up, jostling your body in the process. "I was so good, so well-behaved in front of you. And yet you waltz around me with barely anything on all the damn time, flirting with all my friends in that skimpy bathing suit without a care in the world… "
You don't even know when you ended up on your back. Staring wide-eyed into Seokmin's narrowed ones, his eyelids fluttering as he recalls these memories, fist clenched and arms tense as he towers on top of you once again. He's panting, lower body still pressed against yours.
"Batting your eyelashes at me, giggling, grinding that sweet ass all over me on the dancefloor and then skipping away even though I wanted to touch you so badly… and if that's not torturing enough, constantly showing up in my dreams, always out of reach… So yeah, I'm just a little frustrated, sorry."
"I'm… I'm… I-I didn't know — "
"I know that. I know that and that's why I felt like utter trash. You didn't mean any of it and here I am throwing my disgusting fantasies on you."
"Don't say that," you plead and cup the side of his face, running your thumb repeatedly across his mole. "You're not trash, Seokmin. I wasn't thinking — I mean I didn't realize… I just — "
"Please," he interrupts suddenly, desperately begging. "Please tell me… if this… if this is going to be a spur of the moment, out of pity, and a one-time thing… please tell me you don't want this. That you don't want me — "
"I want to kiss you." 
You watch his body tremble before he takes a deep breath, smiling up at him as his eyes gradually open. They blink owlishly at you, nearly crossing in his attempt to scan your face if he really heard you correctly as you guide him by the jawline close to your lips.
"I want you, Seokmin."
To be honest, you've never really imagined what it'd feel like to kiss your best friend. The movies you've watched make it out to be magical, enchanting, and something out of a fairy tale. Sure, maybe they're not wrong but the majority of entertainment is the bad boy turning sweet or a soft boy remaining a gentleman.
Nothing's prepared you for awakening the beast in a good boy.
He kisses you with a ferocity that steals your breath from the get-go. A sensual clash of teeth, tongue, spit, love bites, and nips. Seokmin always had an enjoyable, pleasing tone to his voice and it sounds even better when he's grunting and groaning in the laidback battle for dominance.
Somehow, your clothes are merely disheveled and not ripped off despite continual tangling and grabbing at each other. Once again, you find yourself back on top as you gasp for air — having to push him away when he chases after you for more kisses. If you thought he was pretty before, he's even lovelier with shiny, swollen lips and a dazed, hungry look in his eyes.
Despite pouting at the sudden distance, the man astonishingly looks at you like you've hung the stars in the sky. As if he's never seen the ugly sides of you, your lowest and most embarrassing moments. His gaze trails from where you sit on his thighs to the rise and fall of your heaving chest to your blown-out pupils with such appreciation and awe that your cheeks are set aflame.
Although maybe you're just seeing a reflection of your own adoration. Running your hand down the toned length of one of his arms, you intertwine your fingers together. A smirk returns to your face as he squeezes back, distracted.
"So, can I see your abs now?"
Seokmin groans your name and chews on his lip, uncertain. You shrug and toy with the hem of your own shirt before decisively pulling it over your head. A blissed-out sigh escapes his mouth at the reveal.
Your bra is undone — thanks to his earlier mischief — and barely covers your breasts. Threatening to fall off at the slightest move, you pretend to protect what little modesty you might have and keep it in place with a free hand. 
"Tit for tat?" you tease.
He audibly gulps and you watch his Adam's apple bob. You wait patiently, letting him go at his own pace and back out if he wants. Though he does relent because he feels at comfort with you, revealing his gorgeous tan skin and upper body you hadn't seen in what feels like years.
"Omigod…" you gasp out and he cringes, upper body taut with nerves. "You've been hiding a six-pack away from the public for so long?"
"I — "
"I want to touch them."
"Why are you so obsessed with my abs?"
"'cause they're mythical. Like unicorns or… or Bigfoot."
"You're comparing me to a yeti?"
"Not yet…i!"
He rolls his eyes at the ridiculous pun. "I thought I was getting a 'tit for tat'?"
"Yeah," you nonchalantly slide off your loose bra and toss it somewhere on his bedroom floor. Seokmin doesn't even get to relish the bare sight of your tits for his own enjoyment because you're grumbling, "can't even show his best friend his fine ass abs," and he has to correct you.
"Maybe if I was your boyfriend, I'd show them to you all the time."
"Oh? Is that a promise? A threat? A distraction?"
"An offer. A suggestion even."
"It's pretty tempting," you play coy, "can I touch you if I say yes?"
"Only if I can touch you too."
"Then yes." Your pointer finger travels down the flexed crease of his skin to right above his belly button. "Can I see your dick now?"
"But I want… I'd like to… taste you."
"Later," you assure and daringly place a kiss above his waistband. Your hands tug at the belt when his hips stutter upwards. "Please?"
He's gone the moment you flutter your eyelashes at him and so are his ruined jeans. Discarded on the floor to join the growing number of other clothing when he says yes. 
Even Seokmin himself would admit he is indeed too soft for you but his cock certainly isn't. Your eyes nearly bug out when it flops against his stomach, angry red and leaking tears of precum. He grits his teeth at how much it aches, perfect jawline even more prominent. 
His self-esteem would have been dashed to pieces at the devastating frown on your pretty face but it's greatly inflated when all you can do is whimper out, "You're so big… "
"Yeah?"
Your best friend — no, now your boyfriend, you suppose — hisses when you blink at him. 
"There's no way you're gonna fit."
"Hah, 's never been a problem before." Nails dig into his thigh, the little show of possession at the mention of his previous partners wickedly giving Seokmin another ego boost. He's quick to try and appease you though by saying, "don't worry, babe… let me prep and taste you, I'll make it fit I promise and you'll feel good."
"Fuckin' sweet talker." You feel a hand reach out to temptingly slip under the band of your shorts. "Everything about you is always so sweet."
"'m sure you taste even sweeter." 
"Seokmin…" 
"Hm?" His touch grows bolder at the moan of his name, squeezing at the plumpness of your ass. "Will you please let me have a taste? Just wanna help you out." 
You won't be thinking I'm so sweet after this. 
Eager to touch him, you nod and start to take off your shorts but Seokmin is faster. Nearly tearing them off your body in excitement and somehow managing to position your bare lower body right where he wants it. 
Luckily, you're able to face his neglected cock. A shriek leaves your mouth, though, because the hardened tip of his tongue is searching for your clit, lathing and suckling on it when he does find it. 
You try to focus on your prize but it's difficult with the vigor he's attacking your throbbing, needy pussy. Seokmin holds you up high enough that he can leave occasional nips on the inner crease of your hips before harshly licking and sucking up your messy arousal. Shaking his head back and forth with an animalistic growl, all you can do is resort to pitiful kitten licks and slobbering mindlessly on just the side of his cock. 
The more you attempt to wrap your lips fully around the tip, the further down he brings you to his mouth until you're almost suffocating him. A brutal assault where you can only twitch your hips to which he agreeably grunts, gliding you across his open mouth ever so slightly. Unable to escape the throes of pleasure, not that you would want to — you give up and give in. 
Tears fill your eyes as your body convulses and shakes, staring longingly at his cock through bleary eyes. Seokmin's muffled moans as he gladly helps you ride out your orgasm with your fluttering hole clamping around his tongue barely registering in your ears. You feel like you're floating while underwater in the most delicious of ways. 
Seokmin manages to nudge you enough so he can catch his breath while waiting for you to come back to him. A fond smile on his lips when you're finally able to move and he helps you flop by his side. 
"Why on earth are you a pussy-eating pro?" 
"You keep complaining about things most people don't find fault in." 
"I wanted to suck the life out of you, not the opposite." You reach for his cock again but he stops you — again — and rubs the back of your hand consolingly while he wipes the wet mess you'd left on his face with a smirk like a badge of honor he takes pride in. "Lee Seokmin!" 
"Shhh, don't whine, baby. Almost there, I'll let you have my dick soon. Give it to you real good. Now that I've confirmed what a tight, good little pussy you have for myself, gotta make sure you're stretched out enough. Don't wanna hurt you." 
"It already hurts, 'm so empty, 'min." 
"Greedy," he snickers, knowing you're full of shit, and sits up. "After I just stuffed you with my tongue so well that you complained about it, now you want me again?" 
"Always want you. Always have. Didn't realize it before but it's true. 'm sorry, Seokkie, need you so bad though." 
"Lucky I like you so much. Now turn around, let me see that lovely ass of yours." 
You do as he says, clambering up on all fours and arching your back prettily, looking over your shoulder to see what he'll do next. 
The sight alone is a wet dream. He's licking his lips, brown eyes honed in on your puffy, seeping cunt until he's snapped out of the trance when he realizes you're watching him. He sticks out his tongue to pull a silly face and you shake your head in disbelief. 
A finger traces up your spine before it turns into his palm pushing down between your shoulder blades so your cheek is pressed into the pillows. You can just feel the heavy heat of his cock but he pulls away before you can savor it for too long. A constant tease that leaves you whining again in frustration and wiggling your hips enticingly, a futile effort. 
"I know you're desperate. 'm sorry, don't wanna cum too fast and disappoint you though." 
"You won't disappoint me." 
"Nope, I'll make it worthwhile. Promise. We can do whatever positions you want after this. I'd like to see you riding me like you do in my dreams, personally." Watching how you clench at his words, he chuckles. "Knew you'd like that too. Now, let's see…" 
He slips a digit inside your hole muttering, "There we go," and adds another. And another. Three fingers explore your gummy inner walls and he hums in contemplating tones before he begins scissoring motions to get your pussy to further open up. 
Your moans are muffled by the bed and Seokmin simply increases his pace to make them louder with a sneer of satisfaction you don't see. You do feel him kissing down the length of your spine, more love bites that make you squeal at each pinch. 
"So cute and perfect. What 'm I gonna do with you?" he asks and pretends to understand the unintelligible garble to his rhetorical question. "Yeah, that's right, babe. Fuck you even more stupid than you are now 'cause it's what you deserve." 
Retracting his fingers, licking them clean, and mumbling how pretty you are — then he's finally wrapping a veined hand around his even veinier cock to tease at your entrance. 
He plays with your wetness, coating his tip with it and making both your mouth and pussy drool. And god, does Seokmin relish the vision before him. 
You're everything to him and that thought alone makes him bite down on his lower lip, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He doesn't want to fuck this up. Every muscle in his body tenses when he takes a deep breath and eases himself inside, enraptured with the way your soft pussy lips part and cling around his length to welcome him. 
When he glances up to check how you're doing, he has to reign himself back from exploding or thrusting insensitively all the way in. The way your eyes roll up, a stain of drool left on his blanket, and the feeble thank you's followed by a filthy series of moans — he lets out a string of curses that would make even a depraved whore blush out of shyness. 
"S'big, s'full," you hiccup, clenching and unclenching in rapid successions that has Seokmin wheezing, though he tries to comfort you. 
"'m not even all the way inside, sweetheart. Bear with me, babe. Breathe. I've got you." 
"Got me… hella fuckin' full."
"You can take it. I know you can." He pushes his hips forward a bit more. "There you go, sweetheart. Relax just a tiny bit… Yeah, that's it…" 
Praises fall from his lips and you sob at both the goddamn stretch and unfathomable pleasure. You already feel him buried in your gut reaching spots you didn't even know existed by the time he's almost bottomed out for his pelvis to press temptingly against your ass — you're pretty sure you can feel him in your lungs at this point.
"S'deep…!" 
"Feel so fucking good… d'ya need me to pull out a little, baby? You still with me?" 
You answer him by bravely using whatever strength — or more like the urge for him to split you open and take it all because you want to be as good as he's telling you that you are for him — and push yourself back so he's fully seated within your tight cunt. 
You're probably screaming if your raspy throat and ringing ears are anything to go by. He's panting and rubbing his forehead with a groan. 
"Fuck, what are you so hot for?" 
The air feels like it's been punched out of his lungs, the same way his cock is being suctioned and squeezed. In an effort to wrangle whatever control is left within himself, Seokmin focuses on your body and how it reacts. Laying over your arched back to press your bare bodies close together in an intimate fashion. 
You can feel his necklace and its cool touch on your burning skin. The recollection of never seeing him without it since gifting it to him reignites a possessive streak in you and has your pussy pulsing around him more fervently. Suddenly you long to have his mark engraved on you permanently, etched into your body and soul just like the inanimate object. 
It's almost a shame when he pauses to tug it free so it doesn't break and let it hang over your shoulder instead. Not that it matters much, for you'd only have a temporary imprint of a dog tag shape on your back. 
As if he can read your muddled mind (he probably can), Seokmin makes up for it in his concentration to delay his dizzy cloud of absolute unbridled lust. He's already left many physical reminders of his touch where you'll definitely be sore later scattered around your body and as a bonus — bites down where your neck meets your shoulder. 
(You have no idea how you'll explain the obvious teeth marks to your friends the next day but you know they'll know. Especially when Seokmin — the little shit that he is — shamelessly shows off the various marks you'll leave all over him later tonight.)
But you don't think about that right now, any and all thoughts consumed of him, him, and him. You're full. So full. Oh, how you ache to run your fingers across his gorgeous body the same way he's able to yours, sneaking a hand underneath to fondle at your breasts and tug at your nipples. You suppose that can wait, already inching toward another crashing orgasm when he's unable to stay still anymore and starts shallow, cautious thrusts.
"Mm, ah, 'min… Seok… min… "
"'m here baby, you're gonna cum for me already, aren't ya?" He pulls his dick out far enough to see the way your essence glistens and coats his length and then smoothly stuffs you full again. "Go on and cream on my cock, make me yours."
Shockingly you shake your head. "No, too soon!"
"S'kay, I know you can give me another one after. If you let go now, it'll feel even better after. You're still so tight, I can barely move."
You really can't believe you're about to climax so soon again. There's not really a choice to hold it off anyways, especially when his hand moves away from your tits and mercilessly rubs your clit. He could've just fucked your throat raw with how hoarse your voice is now with all the sounds he's drawn out of you.
As you recover from the fuzziness of a second orgasm, he'd taken out his cock that's basically gone numb at this point (he's not sure if that's a good thing or not), and appreciates the delectable view of how your hole has been stretched out perfectly in the shape of his cock to accommodate him so sweetly. It all screams I am Seokmin's and he fucking adores it. And you.
There's only one thing left to do. Paint you with the color white.
"You ready for me?" 
You breathlessly huff out a yes but honestly, you're unsure if you will be able to handle another peak without passing out. Seokmin soothes you, whispering that this will be the last one for this round accompanied by two chaste kisses on each of your shoulder blades. So wonderful and perfect, he reminds and suddenly you can do anything he asked of you.
Which is good because he's finally snapping his hips hard and fast with better ability, drilling into your warm, wet pussy he calls his that confirms that ownership itself with filthy noises of agreement and gushes of more arousal. You moan out a mix of yes, yours, and his name — growing so fucked out that when he asks you where you want him to cum, all you do is feebly bounce your asscheeks against his abs when he refuses to move.
"Shit, you gotta tell me now or I'll… fuck, I'll do it inside. I-I know you're on the pill but… "
"Please…"
"You'd look pretty with it all over your back but also spilling out of your pussy… "
"If you don't cum right now anywhere… I'll cry."
"You're already crying." His thumb brushes at the trail of tears that spilled over your eyelids.
"Seokmin…!"
"'m sorry, let me give you what you want."
His hips resume slamming at a rapid pace, hitting deep within that magic bundle of nerves without fail. Stars swim in your vision and the mind-numbing pressure twisting in your lower gut builds up without warning.
It's a silent scream this time and a peak that doesn't seem to end. As your body violently shudders and shakes for what feels like hours at its intensity, Seokmin's release is triggered. Gently thrusting as you spasm around him, milking his cock as it starts to fill you up with a comforting warmth. In a daze, he's forced out by the end of your explosive orgasm and watches with a slack jaw in awe.
He's managed to leave beautiful lines of white across your ass and back as intended. Though the bit he'd left inside of you is mostly expelled by you squirting and coating his thighs with your release, if he looks close enough, there are still globs of cream left around the outer lips of your cunt that has him groaning.
"This is better than what I've dreamt about."
"Of course. Real thing is always better."
"In this case, yes." 
"… Do you still think I'm sweet?"
"… Somehow, yes."
Seokmin laughs as you collapse flat against the bed. You need to clean up but both of you can afford to rest a little first. He lays down next to you on his side, bringing you into his arms and you immediately snuggle your face into his chest before fixing him with a serious gaze.
"I don't get it."
He stiffens in fear. "Wh-what?"
"You fucked your previous partners, right?"
"Um… most… of them… "
"Like this?"
"Uh… " he narrows his eyes. "What… what do you mean?"
"There's no way they would've wanted to let you go if you got a stroke game and stamina this good. Unless you were just too much of a beast in the sheets — which I could understand."
His arms tighten around you. "I'm sorry, did I go too hard on you? I just didn't wanna cum too fast."
"No, you're insane but it was… incredible. You're the unreal one here."
"Didn't expect that when you harassed me about my abs, huh?"
"I did not harass you and of course not, did you?"
"No, but… I'm glad it did. You… don't…  you don't regret it, do you?"
"No, why would I?" He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief which has you raising an eyebrow but you continue on. "I don't get why they didn't try harder to stick around. I mean you're perfect. In all aspects. I one-hundred-percent mean that."
"They weren't you, though. I'm sincere when I say you've always been the one. I was just afraid…" 
"You're a damn good actor, you know that. I had no idea."
Your favorite smile beams at you. "I did major in theater. And we're both kinda idiots."
You slap at his chest playfully and he covers your hand with his. "I like you too, you know that? Like really mean it when I say I do. Even if you just obliterated my fucking vagina out of existence."
"There's no way, I most certainly did not." He kisses your forehead. "'cause you still have to ride me like promised."
"I don't think I'll be able to."
Your eyes close, ignoring Seokmin's gasp of shock and protests about cleaning up. He can tell you're pretty exhausted and acquiesces, shifting you into a position more comfortable for you to be able to doze off for a bit.
But you take that opportunity to spring to life, sucking the nastiest hickey on his neck right above his silver chain. One that will take weeks to heal. He lets out a moan as you do it and when you back away, the atmosphere has heated up again.
"You're giving me a hard time," he points out with an eyebrow wiggle and you giggle. 
Urging him to roll over, you lug your aching limbs up and over so you can straddle his upper body. Adding more and more love marks and bites on his chest, neck, and arms. It's your turn to stake a hushed claim of mine whispered into his ears that you nip at. And he giggles, loving the attention you're showering him with.
His cock is stirring to life under your ministrations as is another pool of arousal swirling in your gut. Despite the hiss of oversensitivity and slight pain you both feel, you ease his length back inside. Nearly crying out because this new angle means he's stuffed in you even more, you don't know if he can fit until you're gasping in relief once you're successful.
He tentatively brushes his fingers against the bulge that appears in your lower tummy, wanton moans erupting from both of you at the gesture. It sends chills down your spine and you shiver.
"Gonna have to help me move, dunno if I have enough strength to make your dreams come true."
"S'kay, we have forever to act them out again and again," he reassures you which erases your pout. "You'll get used to me with enough practice."
"You think so?"
"Well, we can only test that theory to make sure."
You giggle as he pulls you in for a tender kiss by the back of your neck. "You're naughtier than I could've ever imagined."
"But you love it. You love me." His smug look only grows at your agreeing hum and when he flexes his abs. "Now, shall we see if all the work I put into my abs is worth it, babe?"
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onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©
Taglist: @joshibambi @junhui-recs @pandorashbox @rubyscoups @woozluv @darlingvernon @charcharfairy @httpswonwoosglasses @yeosayang @buffhoshi @horanghae8star @noraehey @misssugarlips @tinkerbell460 @aceofvernons @dejavernon
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skylarsblue · 1 month
Text
★RDR2 Incorrect Quotes★
(If you see duplicates from my COD version of these? Shh, no you didn't) ★Border made by @fairytopea★
Ms.Grimshaw What are you doing, you oaf? Young!Arthur, staring at Y/N: They’re pretty. Ms.Grimshaw …and you’re ugly, now get back to work.
- (Pre-joining the gang) Abigail, trying to get paid: What’s your favorite color, John? John: Blue. No, green. Abigail: Awesome! I love learning about you. John: I fucked up, it’s yellow.
- Arthur, cutting a huge knot out of John’s hair: I fucked up, we gotta go bald. *head locks him still* Young!John, flailing violently: WAAAAAHHHH-
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Seán: Psst, Lenny, ay mate, wake up! Lenny: Huh- Wh-what? What is it? Seán: I heard something outside the tent. Lenny: What? Seán: Like a woman crying in the distance, but I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Lenny: Okay?? What do you want me to do? Seán: Come look with me! Lenny: Hell no! Seán: Why not? Lenny: I got too much melanin and too much sense for that white people shit. You wanna let demons get you, be my guest, leave me out of it.
- (John HAD to have SOMETHING that captivated her, for humor’s sake? We’ll say he had jokes)
Abigail: You have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. Arthur: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Abigail: He makes me laugh.
- Micha: I've got the urge to say something. Arthur: And what's that? Micha: The N-Word- Arthur: WHOA-
- Bill: But seriously, is it your whole emo thing that she’s into or what? John: …yeah, long flowing straight hair, very emo.
- Karen: This- Hmm. Tilly: Be nice. Karen: I’m findin’ it. Mary-Beth: …it takes you that long to find- Karen: It does, it does.
- (O’Driscoll troubles) Kieran: Arthur we’re going to get murdered. We’re going to get murdered by a man who can’t tie a fucking bow tie. Arthur: At least he won’t torture us, can’t tie a rope either.
- John: Ugh, you know they’re gonna make us do one of those tacky family happiness photos that comes in the restaurants shitty frame. Tilly: Why are you so fucking negative all the time? John: Wh- uh- I just- Arthur: *slowly sucks tea through straw*
- Seán: Someone just said; “You’re a criminal!” Seán: *handkerchief on, gun in one hand, bag of money in the other* Seán: Well I’ll tell ya what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable.
- The Gang: Arthur is dying and Micha is a rat! Dutch, dancing with money: *insert that audio that goes “I don’t give a fuck cause I’m a ✨millionaire✨, I do what I want, middle finger in the air!”*
- John, drunk: You think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore? Charles, loading up a drunk Arthur into a wagon: I just want you to stop saying odd shit.
- Abigail: If we lose, I’m gonna cut the judge. John: Wh- you brought your switchblade?? Abigail: Mhm. John: But they patted us down on the way in, where did you hide i- ohhhhhhh.
- Arthur: …you ever wish you could just, turn into a bird and fly away from everything? Charles: I think we need to get you to a therapist for depression. John: I’d wanna be a wolf. Charles: And we should get you psych evaluation for Autism.
- Sheriff: You seem like a reasonable and good natured person. Arthur: *looks around* And you look like you need glasses.
- Abigail: What would your father say?! Jack: Uhhh “I’ll fix it!” And then make it worse until luck comes around and makes it work, and then act like that was the plan the whole time? Abigail: …that’s my bad, I should’ve used a different phrase to express my disappointment.
- (I dunno why but John being super mean to some people is so fucking funny to me. I don't hate Bill, but bullying him is fun)
Bill: You enjoyin’ the wife everyone else paid to have? John: You mean the woman I never had to pay for? The woman who liked me so much, she didn’t ask for any money to sleep with me? In fact; she liked me so much, she married me? The woman who makes me a warm dinner and kisses me everyday? Mother of my child? John: I am enjoyin’ yeah. What about you, Bill? Bill: John: You enjoyin’ your lonely life, you unlovable sorry sack of shit? You enjoyin’ having to pay for someone to pretend they like you? Cause they never actually do. They hate you actually, like me. I hate you. Eat shit and die, Bill.
- Arthur: …him? Really? Mary-Beth Don’t be mean! Arthur: He looks like a rescue dog, Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth: I know, I like that! Arthur: ….you like that?? Mary-Beth: His pathetic wet eyes and general wimpy stature have captivated me. Arthur: *sigh* Whatever makes you happy.
- Bill: At the end of the day, Arthur. I am a MAN. Arthur: A MAN WHO’S GAY. You like fellers GETTHATTHROUGHYOURHEAD!
- Dutch: I have a plan. Hosea: You haven’t planned shit. Dutch: I’ve planned it.
- Hosea: Arthur! What on earth are you doing?! Young!Arthur: Getting rid of this demon. Young!John: *screeching and trying to get out of Arthur’s grip* Hosea: And why do you plan to get rid of him? Arthur: Because, Hosea! He woke me up by leaning over me and whispering, “I know what death feels like, it’s cold. Have you felt death?” Arthur: HE’S CLEARLY EVIL, HOSEA Hosea: That’s just how children are, Arthur. Dutch: He’s right son, put the boy down. Dutch, leaning and whispering to Hosea: But maybe we should buy a Bible just in case. Hosea: And a cross.
- (Modern au and suicide joke)
John: It’s not a phase! It’s a lifestyle, you just wouldn’t get it! Arthur: You think I didn’t go through the “I can’t tell if I want to kill myself or everyone around me” phase? Come on. John: What? I don’t wanna kill myself at all. Arthur: … John: … John: Should I- should we go talk to Hose- Arthur: We should forget this conversation happened. Take this Nirvana CD and keep your mouth shut.
- Abigail: …John. John: Yes, my angel? Abigail: You forgot something. John: No I didn’t! I took the list with me, checked it three times, even crossed things off when I put it in the cart! See, look. Apples, frozen hamhocks, cranberry juice- Abigail: John. You took Jack with you. John: Abigail: John: Abigail: John: SHIT I LEFT HIM BY THE PASTA SECTION Abigail: STOP STANDING THERE AND GO GET HIM!
- Jack: Pa, how did you get mom to marry you? John: Well son, I- John: John: I have no idea. Jack: Should I ask mom? John: I’ll be honest, I don’t think she knows the answer either.
- Charles: You did good back there. Arthur: Oh? Heh, nah, you did all the fancy stuff. I just helped. Charles: Don’t undersell yourself, Arthur. I wouldn’t be complimenting you for no reason. Arthur: Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just trying to fluff up my ego. Charles: Wouldn’t hurt to do when you work so hard, no? Arthur: Now you’re just being’ sweet- John: Can y’all wait til we’re done before you start your spiritual dick sucking? Arthur: Can you repent to the lord fast enough to save your soul in the time it’ll take me to throw you into the damn ocean, Marston?!
- Arthur: Do you even have a brain? John: Do you even have someone that loves you? Arthur: John: John: I heard it that time, I’m sorry. Arthur: This is what Abigail hears sometimes, just so you know. John: I heard it that time, I got it. I- I’ll just- Arthur: Whiskey, full bottle. The nice kind. John: Apology alcohol, got it.
-
NPC: My husband’s parents are so crazy. In-laws always are, huh? Abigail: Well, uh-
*John being an orphan* *John’s adoptive dads being criminals, one particularly off his rocker*
Abigail: ….aha, yeah;;
- Abigail: John Marston, you useless, foolish, stupid man! Bill: To hell with John! Abigail, suddenly with a very large gun: NO ONE INSULTS MY HUSBAND.
- Arthur, holding up a proper painting he actually put time and effort into: Could a depressed person make this? Charles: The painting: *a wolf in the rain laying it’s head over the body of a deer shot with an arrow* Charles: I’m, in fact, more convinced you have depression now. Arthur: …yeah this wasn’t the best evidence for my argument, huh? Charles: No. Not at all.
- John: What are you talking about? That’s completely normal, it’s like having opinions. just cause it doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean- Tilly: No, John! No. It’s not normal to have that reaction to the sound of hearing metal on metal. John: No look, uh- Arthur! Arthur come here! Arthur: What now? John: What happens when you hear metal on metal? Like, a can bein’ rubbed with a knife. Arthur: Ugh, I hate that sound. It makes my damn skin crawl, like I got beetles underneath. Makes me wanna skin myself to get’em out. John: Right! See, Tilly? It’s not just me! Tilly: ????
Charles: …and you never got them evaluated? Hosea: In hindsight, an autistic diagnosis probably would’ve made more things make sense. But, what can ya do.
- Arthur after a dog didn’t positively react to him: Maybe this is my final straw. Charles: No. Arthur: It might be. Charles: It’s one dog. There are twenty that you stopped to pet along the way here, plenty more for you to pet after this. Arthur: You don’t understand, this is devastatin’. Charles: Arthur, please- Arthur: Utterly devastatin’, Charles.
- Arthur, tipsy: Just cause you’re gorgeous don’t mean I’ma do whatever you say. Charles: Drink the water, Arthur. Arthur: *grabs the glass* Yes, sir.
- (Got a Y/N one, also, modern Au)
Arthur: That’s the Aberdeen farm. Y/N: …what’s wrong with it? Arthur: What’cha mean? Y/N: The vibes, they’re off. Arthur: …the…vibes? Y/N: The energy, Mister Morgan. The vibe of the place. They’re off, they’re weird, wack even. I sense insidious and wretched wavelengths wafting from the aura of that property. Arthur: I see…well, to answer your question, it’s cause they are weird. And I ain’t even confirmed why cause I don’t really wanna know. Y/N: I see you can also sense the vibes are rank. Arthur: …sure, whatever that means.
- Micha: Well I think- Y/N: Well I’m certain no one fucking asked, Micha! Not a single damn person asked what the hell you thought, ever! In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t think. I’m pretty sure your skull fills with all the bullshit in your organs, and it just spills out your mouth! Micha: Micha: I- Y/N: Shut up, Micha!
- Arthur, after Albert explains some super dangerous plan in order to get wild animals near him to photograph: You’re stupid, I like that in a man.
- Y/N: Bye Arthur, bye Karen, bye Hosea, bye Arthur. Sadie: You said ‘bye Arthur’ twice. Y/N: I like Arthur.
- NPC: Lovebirds, eh? Sadie: Arthur: Sadie: I’d rather eat a poison ivy plant with Holly Berries for dressing. *looks at Arthur* No offense. Arthur: No no, none taken. All things considered, I’d rather dive into a pit of tar and then drag myself face first through a plain of rotten chitlins. Sadie: Completely fair!
- Bill: I need you to realize you ain’t in charge here. Y/N: I need you to realize I don’t give a shit.
- Arthur: Hey Charles, uh, I got an Uhm…a spiritual question. Charles: Any particular reason you chose to ask me? Arthur: Uh well- I didn’t mean for it to be like that- I just- Charles: *sigh* What is it? Arthur: Do you know what it means when an elk stands up on its back legs? Charles: That means- Charles: WE SHOULD LEAVE, we need to leave, that’s what that means!
- Jack: …why are your boobs so big? Charles: They’re not boobs. Jack: Do you have to wear a brasier? Charles: *sigh* Arthur: He asked me the same thing a couple weeks ago, don’t think to hard bout it.
-
(Story spoilers!!) Y/N: I'm sorry, let me get this straight. Y/N: You picked up that man when he was a destitute child, grieving and starving. Taught him almost everything he knows. Y/N: Then, you did that with, what? Three others? In similar circumstances? Y/N: Created a sense of family and community, a strong bond between so many misfortuned people. With your trustworthy long term friend by your side. Y/N: And then. Y/N: One RAT. WHO IS OPENLY ANTAGONISTIC AND REEKS OF SUSPICION AS MUCH AS HE DOES HORSE SHIT, SOMEHOW CONVINCES YOU TO GO OFF YOUR ROCKER AND HARM YOUR GANG?! Y/N: Explain! Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: He praised me- Y/N: YOUR PRAISE KINK GOT YOU TO AIM A GUN AT YOUR SONS????
- Arthur: Naaah they’re an angel. Lenny: They punched Bill in the face. Seán: They told Strauss he was a waste of human material, in his own language, which they’re not fluent in. Mary-Beth: They framed Micha for a crime and got him put in prison again. Arthur: Like I said, an angel!
- John: Woman. (Translation: Darling.) Abigail: Moron. (Translation: Lovebug.)
Arthur: You tellin’ me they’re being affectionate right now? Jack: Can’t’cha read subtext, Uncle Arthur? Arthur: ???
-
(Insert Alcohol is truth serum reference)
Drunk Bill: Not to be gay, but you’re gorgeous bro. Kieran, afraid: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty. Absolutely shit-faced Bill: Nah, like I’d fuck you, bro. Kieran, terrified: Okay, never mind!
- (How I imagine their first couple years together went)
Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: How do you feel about me? Hosea, naked & beside him: ….we’re sharin’ a bedroll, Dutch. Dutch: Yes, but what are we, Hosea? Hosea: ….we’re both naked, alone, in a tent, Dutch. Dutch: That doesn’t answer my question. Hosea:
- (This one's sad, not funny, sorry-) John: You’re such a hypocrite, why is it that anything I do that you’ve done before that you get so bent outta shape?! Arthur: Because I’ve done it before you, John. John: So why do you think it’s fair to tell me not to?! Most people are proud when their younger brother ends up like’em. You don’t want anyone like you, is that it? Arthur: John: John: …oh. Arthur: Now that you got my point, will you take my god damn advice without a big fuss…please.
- John: She drives me insane! She somehow managed to make me the angriest I’ve ever been almost daily. NPC: Then leave her. John: The fu- no. What? She’s the wind beneath my wings, my darling wife, my beautiful angel. How the hell could you even think to suggest such a thing? NPC: But- John: Get outta my sight, you fuckin’ disgrace.
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lillithhearts · 3 months
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I want to cuck Adam so bad dude. I want to fuck Lucifer knowing he'd hear/see. I want to make him watch while Lucifer fucks me into the mattress better than he ever could.
Could you write something like that? Completely understandable if you don't want to write cuckolding stuff, have a good day
Lucifer x Reader˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
Warnings: Not proofread, I can't write smut
Reader is female
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Adam groaned and whined, he had been called to Hell for an "urgent meeting" with Lucifer, What he wanted he wasn't sure; the Extermination wasn't for another long while and he couldn't possibly think what other subject Lucifer would possibly wanna talk about.
This whole ordeal annoyed Adam, having had a date with his wife that day he was disruptively summoned down below; Especially being told by Sera to appear in person as Lucifer had asked. Why would he need to be there in person; ugh whatever he was just going to get it over with..Speaking of his wife where was she today? You weren't next to him when he woke up and your phone went straight to voicemail.
Going through a portal he arrived in the Hall of the Angelic tower in the middle of pride, Adam being completely over this already groaned and scratched his neck clearing his throat as he had looked around; walking down the corridor he was quickly pulled from whatever train of thought ran through his head upon hearing a melodic voice echoing through the halls, euphoric whines and whimpers echoed out from a meeting room; it took him awhile to pick up why the sounds sounded familiar it was the same string of noises his wife made only this time they..sounded more real, more genuine, Sensual.
Every muscle in his body stiffened the realization setting in what was happening, nobody but those morningstar's entered this building and the meeting? Oh Lucifer you fucking asswipe. Wanting to confirm his suspicions he slowly, quietly made his way to the door, his pants tightening hearing the noises you made becoming louder, he sucked in a breath before cracking up the door and peeking inside, his blood began to boil; watching your back flush against the cold marble table your hands intertwined with that dickheads hands; Lucifers hip sharply snapping against yours while his teeth grazed your soft neck; bites and hickeys already evident on your collarbone and shoulders; Lucifer only adding more with a low chuckle. His raspy chuckle vibrating in the room while his six wings fluttered gently behind him, His eyes full of Admiration and love for a woman that isn't his.
"does it feel good, Dollface? Do I fuck you better then that pompous prick you call a husband does, Hm?"
Adam's hand clenched to the point his knuckles turn white, hearing a mewl from your mouth while you wrap your legs around Lucifer's waist, his forked tongue licking up a stray droplet of blood caused by his sharp teeth, he had heard the door open and Adam arriving and he made sure Adam knew that he knew, Side eyeing him whilst he angled your leg, a loud moan ringing through the room as he hit that spot you loved so much while you slapped a hand over your mouth
"well, Darling. Answer my question"
"yes, yes! Your cock is the best I've ever had.."
"good..~"
His voice laced with condescension that you didn't pick up as Lucifer kept his eyes on the peaking Adam, His hands slid down your body as he placed gentle kisses down your chest; He had had you completely at his mercy, Making you forget what time was as you squirmed under his burning touch, and he was going to give you a ride, and Adam a show he'd never forget
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Authors note : I need to get better at Writing..I dont like this.
Taglist: @k1y0yo @ihavetoomanyfictionalcrushes
Comment or send an ask to be added to the taglist
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astraltrickster · 11 months
Text
I want to introduce a disability concept that I've been calling paradoxical stigma.
What is paradoxical stigma? It's the stigma against:
1) The actually disabling traits of a disability that's in the spotlight for the parts of it that are convenient to accommodate, and/or
2) The diagnosis of such a disability itself,
Due to the assumption that the spotlight renders it "destigmatized" and no longer in need of support.
As of right now, at least around this corner of the internet, the most obvious examples of this are autism and ADHD. It's become disturbingly common for people to treat those like Diet Disabilities That Don't Actually Count. It's been really interesting to watch the popular attitude about these disorders shift from "autism is either a tragedy or an excuse depending on 'severity', and ADHD is just a myth used to drug kids into complicity instead of teaching them actual skills", to "actually these are real disorders that affect people in all aspects of their lives", to "I GUESS they're real disorders but honestly EVERYONE has them can't we worry about more SERIOUS ones?" and...not in a good way.
It comes up...partially as a legitimate backlash to people with these disorders who think that invisible disability and/or neurodivergence begins and ends at their experience, and...yeah, that's a problem all right, in fact if I had a dollar for every asshole who looked at my struggles with things like keeping my space clean or not fucking up my medication doses DUE TO ADHD and went "well I have the same diagnosis and I don't have THAT problem to THAT extent, obviously you're just lazy and careless", or saw me having an AUTISTIC meltdown and called it "bullying" or worse because I get loud and insisted that I NEED to CONTROL that CHOSEN BEHAVIOR if I want to not be a Bad Person, or heard about how AUTISTIC overstimulation defense measures play into my trouble with cleaning and insisted that well THEY'RE autistic too and don't have that specific problem so this is clearly weaponized helplessness because I just don't WANT to learn to do better, I'd...probably have a lot more assistive tech. I also get really, really frustrated and upset when people use RSD to mean "if you ever criticize me that's the height of ableism, no matter how much I'm actually fucking up and hurting you" - especially since it's so often invoked as a defense against being lightly criticized for ACTUALLY harmful behavior and as much as it sucks there IS no substitute to make that more emotional-dysregulation-friendly beyond basic kindness in criticism. That attitude exists. It's bad.
And yet, theoretically, I think we could all agree that the response to that should NEVER be to reinvent the old "ugh, those aren't REAL disabilities, those are just EXCUSES that LAZY PARENTS make for kids being kids, what they need is DISCIPLINE" stereotype of the 90s-2000s, just now aimed at those same kids as adults, in ostensibly supportive spaces - or arguably worse, to revert all our understanding of support needs to the externally judged high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy.
What really sets this apart as paradoxical stigma, rather than just garden-variety lateral ableism, is that 1) we CAN theoretically all agree that reinventing those stereotypes is a terrible response, yet many people do it anyway, and 2) these stereotypes are invoked not only because of that intracommunity misbehavior, but both within and outside of disabled spaces, because of the illusion that you can bring up those disorders and have them taken seriously because fidget toys and stim videos and weighted blankets are popular now. An event having quiet rooms, or backlash to Autism Speaks being visible outside of autistic spaces, will be taken as "proof" that autism stigma is over forever and anyone who complains about it is just a whiner who doesn't know how good they have it...even when what they're complaining about is, say, being barred from migration. Paradoxical stigma is enacted by people who think that they, alone, are standing up against someone who's throwing others under the bus to continue to progress their own limited agenda...when in fact they're speaking a very popular shitty opinion, that MANY of the people making that claim would disagree with HEAVILY once separated from the "crab bucket reflex".
As a personal example, the result is that when I'm looking for assistance, I'm...hesitant to bring up those diagnoses, because I know I'm going to be written off as "obviously a high-functioning low-support needs scammer who just doesn't WANT to CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY and EARN things" - even by people who otherwise agree that people should be allowed to survive even if they truly are the living strawman lazy bum who has nothing wrong with them but just WANTS to lay around eating junk food and doing drugs all day, AND that disability deserves to be respected, isn't black-and-white, and affects everyone differently; somehow when these combine in the context of my diagnoses that have had a very sanitized version of themselves "destigmatized" on TikTok, they cancel out into blatant reactionary sentiment indistinguishable from what I'd hear from my shitty token Republican uncle.
So, that's paradoxical stigma. Feel free to use the term if you find it useful.
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sacredthethreadgvf · 1 year
Text
Sunshine On My Shoulders | Josh Kiszka x Reader
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Warnings: SMUT!!! MINORS DNI! Josh being an asshole sorry, mentions of fearing thunderstorms, smoking the herb, fluff and angst..(if I missed any let me know)
Word Count: 11k+ get cozy friends
A/N: Hello. Hi. It has been SO long since I have had the motivation to sit down and write a fic but I wanted to share this little piece with you all. Who doesn't love a good friends to lovers trope with some spice in the mix? Go easy on me though, like I said it's been a little while since I have posted anything like this and it is so terribly edited…
Huge shoutout to @streamingcolors-gvf and @myfriendtheghost. Without either of you, I don't think this would have made it out of the dusty drafts in my google docs. I appreciate you both so very much. 
Enjoy.
******************************************************************
The squeaky wheels of the shopping cart you were pushing were beginning to annoy you. The dull beep of items being scanned tuned out in your ears as a white noise to the god awful rattle of this stupid cart you had. How did you always manage to get the one cart with the broken wheel every time you went to the store? You hate grocery shopping. Too much noise, too many people all scrambling around to load up carts with fresh produce and frozen dinners for their families, and the gaudy white lights, ugh! You figured since you loved people watching so much you would enjoy being nosey and stare into people's carts to see what they had, I mean you may have missed something good back in the bakery aisle for all you knew. But you hated being here. You would rather instacart your groceries, or have curbside pick up than to venture into a store if you didn't have to. 
But today was a last minute circumstance. A last minute circumstance for your best friend Josh. He had called you in a panic from a hotel room many states away a few days ago informing you that he had re hurt his already busted eardrum, and he had hurt it badly this time. Bad enough that he was coming home sooner than anticipated.He expressed to you over facetime how he felt he was helpless to take care of himself at times and for once, did not want to be left alone. So, he had asked you a favor. Deeming it the biggest favor he would ever ask of you and that he would pay you back at a later date to which you insisted against since it is what friends do for each other. Josh had asked you to come spend a few days with him so he could get settled back in at home. He had requested that you went to pick up some food for him on top of his medications that he needed to take for his ear. He had told you everything over the phone while you stood in your apartment and you tried your best to write everything down while he was rattling off specific ingredients for certain recipes. You had offered to make him his favorite soup for him that he had been complaining he missed so much these last few weeks on the road. He had swore it could cure all pain in an instant and you were determined to make it for him.
You two were going to be staying in the boy's vacation home, a nice little cabin in the hills of Tennessee so he could ‘get away from Jake and his amps’ for a while and immerse himself in nature. You of course happily obliged to his every request. Secretly pining on him for months now, you'd take any chance to spend time with him while he was home. 
So this is how you ended up where you currently were, one of your least favorite places on the face of the planet earth. But if it was for him, you'd suck it up any day of the week.
With your car full of grocery bags and a packed duffle bag you began your trek to the hills of Tennessee outside of the bustling city of Nashville that you have been able to call home for the last couple of years. The drive was peaceful. You had made it a few times before after having the pleasure of being invited to a small weekend getaway with the boys and their lovers. Many memories were made in that cabin with your friends. 
Pulling down the little dirt road that led to the cabin you weren't sure if you were giddy with excitement or if it was your brain trying its best to cover up your anxiousness. You were going to be spending the next few days with Josh alone. You've never had the chance to spend one on one time without Josh's brothers hanging out nearby or even just other people in general hanging around.
Seeing the cabin coming into view through the trees you saw Josh's Jeep already parked out front. “Hey Siri? Call Josh.” Even with the cabin being tucked away in the woods you were thankful cell service was still decently strong.
The phone rang a few times over the speakers in your car, “Hello?” 
“Hey! I have arrived!” You announced as you put your car into park. 
“Okay, the front door is unlocked. Need any help?”
“I got it Josh, dont worry about it!” You reached over your front seat to grab your purse and water bottle, preparing yourself to load up your arms with groceries and such. 
“Okay, see you soon Sunny.”
Sunny..
Josh had given you the nickname Sunshine shortly after you two met and it had been shortened to Sunny after a while. He had told you that you reminded him of the warm sun on the first day of spring after the weather broke from a cold winter. That you lit up a room so effortlessly when you were around and had the ability to make everyone around you happy. And that's when you knew that you were in trouble. Your heart belonged to him but it felt so unrequited at times. His little touches he would graze over your skin when he thought no one was looking, the winks he would shoot your direction after he made a joke that caused you to laugh wildly, the blush you could swear would paint his cheeks when you would make flirty remarks..
And yet, whenever you felt like the line between friends would be crossed, he would pull away. The touches would become more sparse and you noticed he wouldn't look in your direction as often as he used to. But then he would jump right back in a few days later as if nothing happened. As if his cold behavior was just a minor occurrence. It confused you wildly. So you settled for pining after him and keeping him as close as he could be to you, as friends. As long as he was in your life, you didn't care.
You gathered up the grocery bags along your arms, clearly hurting yourself slightly in the process but you'll be damned if you had to make another trip. Unfortunately for you, you had abandoned your duffel bag back in the car and only realized it as you were pushing the front door of the house open. Josh had been spread out on the couch, writing furiously away in his journal as he had finally been able to put some finishing touches on the lyrics to a new song when he heard you. He saw you through the little archway in between the foyer, kitchen and living room. 
“Sunny!” He beamed. “Oh my gosh, hang on, let me help you!” 
Your arms were beginning to weaken at the heaviness of the bags but you shook your head wildly as he came bounding towards you.
‘You will do no such thing mister! Go sit back down!” 
You tried to pull away from Josh's fingers grasping at the handles of the bags leaving red marks on your arms but didn't succeed as he pulled a few of them away from you.
“Sunny, don't be so stubborn, I feel okay right now!” He smiled widely at you, his dimple making an appearance on his cheek. You tried not to stare as you felt yourself redden in the face. Had you forgotten how he was so cute while he was away? How is it even possible that he came home more attractive..
You walked with him the short distance to the kitchen and after unloading the bags from your arms Josh walked towards you and gave you a side hug. “Thanks again for doing this for me Sunny.”
“Of course.” You smiled up at him.
“Did you hear about the storms that are supposed to happen tonight?” He asked, back turned towards you while you both started unloading the groceries.
“I did, yes! Are you prepared? I heard the wind might be bad and the power will go out because of that.”
Josh stopped and threw a cheeky smile over his shoulder at you. “And who said the power was going to go out?”
“Me! This cabin is in the middle of nowhere, I will give you $100 if the power does not go out.”
“Deal Sunny!” He smirked. 
His smirk quickly diminished on his face as he felt a pain radiating through his ear to his jaw, you watched as he winced slightly.
“You okay?” You softly asked.
“Yeah..I mean, no. But it's okay.”
Josh turned his attention back towards the grocery bags and you. You were beating yourself up mentally for not really being able to carry on or start a conversation with him now that you two were alone together. There was easily so much you two could talk about right now. You were trying to rack your brain on whether or not you wanted to ask him about tour so soon because it was such a touchy subject right now. Or even bring up the state of his ear, deciding against that as well as it might add insult to injury. Just as you were about to ask him how his trip home was, Josh broke the silence in the room.
“Chicken broth?” 
“Huh?” You responded.
“You got chicken broth?” Josh raised his voice slightly at you causing you to shrink back. Your eyes go wide at his tone of voice.
“I…- Josh..was I not supposed-...” You started rambling. Shocked at how he was speaking to you.
“Why the fuck would you get chicken broth for a vegetarian soup?!” You watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose and spun around. Your heart sank and started to quicken in your chest as your brain tried to comprehend how Josh's voice and attitude towards you changed at the flip of a switch. I mean you just got here..
He's never ever used that voice with you before with you and now..your arms began to stiffen at the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins and you started to ramble.
“Josh I- I don't know why I didn't think of-”
“Of course you didn't think. I mean why would that make any sense!” He snapped, still facing away from you in the kitchen.
“I'm sorry. I don't know why I-..” 
“Just..-stop..now we can't have the soup. The one thing you knew I was looking forward to for the last few days. You think I can have chicken broth?! Useless..” Josh whispered the last part.
Your heart sank heavy in your chest. You had positively ruined the one thing Josh asked you to do for him. Your head had snapped up to look at him at his last word he chose to mutter out, only to see his eyes wide already looking at you. You felt like the two of you were standing there for hours, neither of you making a move. He watched as your eyes began to fill with tears and your face turned red. 
You snatched your keys off the counter just as the first shaky breath of what felt like a panic attack coming on made its way through your chest. 
You had to go, you had to get out of this house before he saw you break down. You couldn't let him see you like this.
You hastily slipped on your shoes not caring if you even put them on the correct foot and pushed the front door of the house open making haste to your car in the driveway. All the while you could hear Josh repeatedly calling out your name from behind you trying to stop you. It wasn't until he had successfully grabbed your arm while you were trying to get into the front seat of your car did you stop. By now you had tears spilling down your cheeks and you refused to look directly at him.
“Y/N please, Y/N I'm sorry I didn't mean it-..” He pleaded with you, grip strong on your left arm.
“Josh, please let me go.” you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes causing more tears to rush down your cheeks. 
“No,” He paused to wipe a stray tear falling down your cheek. “No, I'm not letting you go. I'm sorry Y/N I didn't mean what I said back there. I need you here, with me, please.” 
“But why did you say all that..why did you talk to me like that.” You let out a shaky breath, looking down at your feet.
“Y/N I promise I didn't mean it, I've been irritated with other things and I kind of took it out on you and I shouldn't have. Not that that is a good excuse to say anything like that to you. I-I'm sorry.” 
Josh's chest was rapidly rising and falling as he was looking at you. “Please please stay. I didn't mean it.” 
You pushed him away from you. 
“You don't think I know that!” You yelled at him. 
You watched his face turn white as you connected your now bloodshot eyes with his own. 
“Josh, you don't think I know half of the shit that you've been going through?! We talk almost every single day! I know how you haven't been feeling good and for crying out loud and I know this set back on tour is a lot to handle.I come here to help you out because you asked me to and because you're my best friend and you yell at me and call me useless right after I walk through your front door? Useless?! Seriously get fucked.” You turned away from him again grabbing your car door handle only for his arm to reach past your shoulder and shove it closed. 
“Y/N, please..!”
“Josh, let me fucking GO!” 
He held his arm steady against the crease of the car door and you snapped your eyes at his face and glared at him the best you could. You hoped that your piercing glare would get the message across. You watched as he drew his lips together in a tight line and rubbed his nose against his white sleeve before looking back at you. You crossed your arms and continued to glare at him.
Just as he was about to begin speaking to you again you clicked the little red button on your key fob and the car alarm started blaring. You lifted your chin at him in defiance. 
You watched as his face dropped, as if you could read his face saying ‘really?’. 
He rolled his eyes. “Y/N. Seriously?”
“Yes seriously. Get off my car you fucking criminal.”
“Criminal?” He glared at you.
“Yes criminal! You're holding me hostage!”
He giggled, arm still perched against your car door, alarm still blaring.
“You know there's 3 other doors you can crawl into this vehicle through. I'm not doing anything.” You watched as the corners of his mouth were fighting off a smile, his eyes gave it away though how funny you were to him which only fueled the anger you felt.
“Fuck you Joshua!” 
Your anger intensified even more as he laughed out loud. “I'm just saying Sunny! You're more than capable of getting into your vehicle right now!” 
“You're so annoying!” 
“Oh yeah? What else?” His stupid smirk was beginning to break through your tough barrier without you even realizing it.
“You're an asshole! A prick! The worst person I've positively ever met in my entire life!” 
“Wow, Sunny. I never thought I'd see your true colors!” He finally threw a full smile in your direction which quickly fell as he watched your eyes narrow even further at him.
You turned your back to him then. Car alarm still going off.
You heard him sigh. “Y/N? Sunny? I'm sorry I yelled at you and said you were useless. That was totally out of line for me and I don't know why I even said it in the first place because you are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I don't think I would be able to survive without you to be honest. I'd probably be stuck on the side of the road somewhere like a lost puppy if it weren't for you keeping me in check and taking such good care of me. Will you please forgive me for the horrid, horrid comment I made in the kitchen? Let me make it up to you.” 
You didnt turn back to face him, but you clicked that little red button on your key fob and your car went quiet. You heard him let out a breath behind you. You began tapping your foot against the gravel. Were you really about to forgive this asshole? Probably. I mean he was right that he wouldn't be able to survive without you..and his stupid cute face, his smile and those dimples were your ultimate kryptonite..
“Fine Joshua. I will stay, but understand you have some major, major groveling to do.”
You turned back to face him and Josh whisked you into his arms faster than you could blink.
You felt his arms wrap around you and a hand immediately finding its place on the back of your head holding you tight like you were going to slip away at any moment. Your arms did not reciprocate, only loosely wrapping around his torso as he clung to you like his life depended upon it.
The sadness in your chest had dissipated. Not into comfort, warmth, or happiness. The anger stuck. 
“Josh, why would you even say something like that to me in the first place though?” You pulled your head away from his grasp to look at him directly. You could see the remorse still painted clearly across his face. Just as he was about to open his mouth and respond, the sound of tires crunching on gravel cut you both short. 
Josh sighed and looked between you and the car that was approaching. “My mom is here.” 
He dropped his arms from around you and you watched as he opened your back seat door and grabbed your duffle bag, slinging it over his right shoulder. 
“Hey kids!” Karen greeted you both with a wide smile stepping out of her car. “What's up!” 
Both you and Josh put up appearances as if, whatever it was, didn't just happen between you two. 
“Hey mama!” Josh walked around the front of the car to give his mom a big hug. 
“Hey Mrs. Kiszka” You waved at her with a small smile.
“Did you just get here honey? I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.” She shot a wink at Josh, which to his luck, you had missed but his cheeks now sported a light pink color.
“Yeah, I was just helping her unload her things ma.” 
“Oh perfect, then you can grab these bags from my car too!” She opened the back seat of her car. “I stopped to pick up some groceries for you since I know you've been on tour for so long, figured I'd help restock the fridge.”
Josh whispered a soft thank you. Neither of you made a move to mention that you had just gone grocery shopping for him not a few hours ago.
“Let me help too Mrs.Kiszka.” You smiled and held an open arm for her to place grocery bags into.
“Thank you sweetheart!” 
*****************************************************************
You, Josh and Karen had successfully brought all 6 grocery bags into the house without an issue setting them onto the counter next to where the already more than empty grocery bags from your trip now sat. 
“Oh! I didn't realize that you had already done some grocery shopping sweetie!” Karen said, beginning to unload fresh carrots from a brown paper bag. 
Josh cleared his throat and glanced across the kitchen island at you, giving you a small smile. “Yeah, Y/N here was generous enough to go for me today. She even picked up my medicine that I needed since I still cannot really drive due to random bouts of vertigo.”
“Ohh how sweet of you Y/N” Karen said. “Thank you for taking such good care of Joshua for me. He always speaks highly of you and I can see why.” 
“You're welcome Mrs.Kiszka, of course” You smiled at her sheepishly, your cheeks now sporting a red hue. 
You had only met Karen a few times and had a few brief conversations with her. For some reason she made you nervous. I guess that's what happens when you are crushing on somebody's son who loves their mother more than anything. You constantly hope for approval from them.
You were blissfully unaware that Josh was watching your every move. He found it endearing how nervous you got around his mother, how you fidgeted with your fingers and blushed furiously.
“Joshua, stop staring and help me unpack these groceries?” Karen smirked in his direction.
You watched as Josh's face now matched yours in color. 
Was he really just staring at you? What the fuck?
You were in the middle of unpacking eggs from the bottom of a brown paper bag when Josh dropped an item onto the floor. “Fuck.” He murmured. 
He bent down to pick it up just as you snapped your eyes in his direction. You watched as he locked eyes with you and set the container of vegetable broth back on the counter as Karen was behind you clearing out space in the fridge. 
“Joshua Michael, you have moldy fruit in here..”
Josh's eyes snapped behind you to look at his mom while she was scolding him. 
You were focused on the container of veggie broth sitting on the kitchen counter now, almost taunting you. 
You felt overwhelmed all of a sudden and you hastily finished clearing out the bag in front of you. “I'm going to excuse myself to take a shower if you two don't mind. I feel a little gross after running around all of Nashville today.” 
“Of course sweetie!” Karen said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and giving you a light squeeze. You smiled at her and leaned into the side hug. Karen gave the best hugs.
Josh nodded at you. “Upstairs and straight back in the hallway is the bathroom. There should be fresh towels. If they're not out, the third cabinet on the left should have some fresh towels.” 
“Thanks.”
Josh gave you a small smile and reached to grab the moldy blueberry container that Karen had begun waving around again.
****************************************************************
The hot water pouring from the shower head felt divine against your sore muscles. You took your time scrubbing, exfoliating, standing underneath the hot stream of water and letting the water cascade down your face or your back. You weren't in a rush to get out of the shower. Not when it felt this good, and not when you were trying to avoid being downstairs again. You were still upset that Josh had even spoken to you in such a way over something as small as Chicken broth. But as you mulled it over in the water some more, you couldn't really believe yourself but you started to empathize with his little outburst due to the recent events and you still felt slightly guilty that you couldn't deliver the one thing he kept bringing up over and over again the last few days. Almost as if the universe had a vendetta against you, you felt the hot water turn lukewarm and then almost ice cold instantly as the water reserve from the hot water tank drained in its entirety. 
You let out a groan as you realized your time in the shower had now come to an end unfortunately.  
You grabbed the white fluffy towels sitting on the counter next to you and wrapped your body up, trying to warm back up as the water had really put a damper on your skin temp. Thankfully, you had remembered to grab your duffle bag from the bottom of the staircase where Josh had left it before you came upstairs. 
Putting on your favorite comfy clothes and taking the time to do your after shower routine, you realized you really couldn't stay upstairs much longer.
Opening the bathroom door, the smell of spices and comfort food filled your senses. It had been a long time since you had a good home cooked meal and your tummy grumbled loud to remind you of such.The frozen dinners and the take out during the week had turned into an often occurrence for you when you were in a pinch. And it felt like you were in a pinch very often these days. 
You were about to start descending down the stairs when you caught hushed voices coming from the kitchen.
“...I was so mean to her mama, I really messed up.” You heard Josh plead.
“You know Josh,” You heard Karen hush back. “That girl cares about you. A lot. I can see that very clearly from the few times that I have spent with all of you. You are my son yes but you know I don't sugar coat shit. I am surprised she even stayed.”
“Me too.”
“You will have some making up to do no doubt. But I think you are off to a great start here.”
While you were doing your best to go unnoticed by the two in the kitchen, you hadn't realized the banister you were leaning against at the top of the stairs wasn't the steadiest unfortunately. Just your luck, one of the screws had popped out of the wall that was holding said banister up and rolled quite loudly down the wooden steps until it made it to the bottom of the staircase.
You rushed down after it, beat red in the face. Picking it up you looked up and made eye contact with Josh and Karen who were both trying hard not to laugh. 
“Im sooo sorry Josh! I didnt mean to break-..”
Josh held his hand up, “Let me guess, top screw from the banister. That fucking thing will never stay in the wall.” He shook his head and made his way over to you. He touched your elbow as you put the screw into his extended hand and you two held each others gaze for a brief moment before you broke away from his touch.
“Well you two, I am out of here.” Karen said, grabbing her purse from the counter. 
“You're not staying for dinner mama?” Josh asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“I do have other children, Joshua. Plus, I promised Jacob I would spend the night at his house since Jita is out of town currently. You're in good hands here anyways.” She shot a wink in your direction. 
You flushed and watched as her and Josh shared an embrace before she approached you. 
“If you need anything honey, my phone number is on the fridge.” She pulled you into her embrace and you two squeezed each other.
“Don't let him get into too much trouble now.” She whispered.
“And you two stay safe! Joshua if anything happens I'm a call away.” She said as she approached the front door. 
“Thank you mama!”
“Thanks Mrs.Kiszka”
“You two behave yourselves!” She winked at you both as the front door shut. 
“Hi” Josh smiled at you sheepishly.
“Hey.” You responded.
“I made my famous pasta dish if you're hungry.” He gestured behind him.
“I thought I was supposed to be making dinner for you tonight.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you made your way to the barstool directly across from him. “Also, was I in the shower that long?” 
He laughed and turned around to spoon contents from the pan on the stove into a white bowl.
“Not terribly long, no. Also, I cannot promise this is the best thing you will ever eat but,” He set a bowl in front of you. “Consider this an apology?”
“Not the best thing? Josh, I thought this was your ‘famous pasta dish’!” You grinned at him. 
“Oh shove it!” He matched your smile.
You brought a forkful of the hot contents up to your mouth enjoying the flavors of the sauce and the herbs mixing together in perfect harmony. It was easily one of the best things you have tasted in awhile. “I accept your apology, I think.”
******************************************************************
Not a few hours later you sat with bellies full of pasta, wine and the two of you were now picking at Josh’s version of a desert charcuterie board which consisted of graham crackers, fruit, marshmallows and chocolates that he scoured his cabinets for, minus the blueberries of course. 
There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, John Denver’s voice filling the background. All that happened earlier was forgiven through bouts of shared laughter and talking through shared memories you had made together, and listening to the stories from the tour. The good ones only of course. 
The first few notes of Sunshine on my Shoulders began to play through the speakers of the record player. 
“Dance with me Sunny?” Josh asked, extending a hand out to you. “I know this is one of your favorite songs.” 
You took his hand and watched as he gave you his signature wide smile that was only ever reserved for when he seemed to be truly happy. Josh pulled you softly into his arms, one hand laid on your lower back, the other holding your left hand. Your right arm comfortably lay underneath his left, feeling the strength of his back muscles through his yellow jacket he was sporting. You allowed yourself to truck your head into the crook of his neck, his smell consuming your senses. You could feel his steady heartbeat on the tip of your nose as you two swayed slowly in the kitchen. 
If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Your heart almost stopped in your chest at the sound of him beginning to sing softly along with the lyrics. Only a few hours ago you were mad at him and now those feelings of frustration have been whisked away with the sound of his soft voice.
Fuck you wanted this man so bad. And who knows, maybe he did have feelings for you too. I mean, who else would just wrap someone up, swaying in a kitchen after drinking wine and enjoying a nice meal like that. But then again, you  thought of what everyone who was close with Josh would say at dinner parties or late nights out at the bars.
“Josh doesn’t date. Don’t get your hopes up” 
“Josh is picky about girls.”
“Josh is good at stringing girls along and breaking their hearts, I’ve seen it! It’s true! He gets close to these girls, takes them on a few dates or has them over and then never talks to them again.”
“He’s not called the heartbreaker for nothing.”
You were no longer focusing on the song or Josh's soft humming, more on the intoxicating feeling of him, the smell of him and the thought that he could rip your heart to shreds in an instant. Everything about Josh invited you in and kept a strong hold on your heart. You felt the pang of sadness course through your heart at the thought that you could probably never have this man in your life the way you wanted. You would never be able to experience the feeling of being swept up in his arms after a long day. The feeling of his lips across your skin. How he looked in the morning all curled up in his bed right here at home.
Your body must have stiffened slightly in Josh's arms and of course he noticed the change immediately.
“Sunny? Everything okay?” He asked, pulling back away from you a bit to look down at your face. 
“Huh?” You tried to play it off. “Oh, yeah, yes, I just…have a bit of a headache coming on. Too much wine probably.” 
You knew he knew it was a lie, you could see it clear as day on his face. You two each only had maybe 3 glasses and this man has watched you pound tequila sodas and shots and still be able to function almost completely fine. But for some reason he didn’t press you for a further explanation.
“Want some tylenol?” He asked, disconnecting your bodies from one another. His hands rested softly in the bottoms of your elbows. 
You shrugged, “Sure. I might head to bed though. These headaches can end up being bad if I don’t get horizontal soon.” 
He nodded and gave you a sad smile. “I get it, trust me. Let me grab some water for you too.” 
You felt the tension in the room peak at an all time high for the first time tonight as you watched Josh float around his kitchen grabbing a glass, filling it up and emptying two pills into the palm of his hand. You graciously took the items from him. 
You watched as Josh began to clean up the items in the kitchen before placing the now empty glass of water into the sink where Josh was currently scrubbing away at a pot. 
“Goodnight Josh.” You bumped his shoulder awkwardly. 
“Sleep well Sunny.” He bumped yours back.
You wrapped your arms around your torso almost in a protective manner, or almost as if you were cold and began to make your way up the staircase. You stopped at the 4th step and turned around. “Hey Josh?”
A smile spread on your face as you watched just his head poke out from behind the kitchen wall. “Yeah?” 
“Thank you. For dinner, a-and for letting me stay here with you.” 
He gave you a smile, “Of course Y/N. Thank you for staying.” 
You nodded and turned back around heading towards the guest room on the opposite side of the hallway from Josh's room. The second the door clicked closed you felt overwhelmed again and tears began to pool in your eyes again. 
God, you wanted him bad. You'd give anything. 
****************************************************************
You woke up suddenly to a pitch dark room and a thumping heart, completely unsure as to why at first. Maybe a bad dream? Your eyes tried to adjust to the darkness around the room and you pulled the blankets up to your chin. You hated to admit it but sometimes being immersed in complete darkness made you unbelievably uncomfortable. Especially when you were in an unfamiliar place.
Which reminded you that you had a salt lamp on when you fell asleep in the room yet it was off. Why would it be off? You definitely didn’t turn it off. Maybe Josh popped in and turned it off while you were asleep?
Suddenly a bright flash filled the room and your heart rate picked up again, immediately anticipating the crash of thunder that followed. Yet you still felt yourself flinch underneath the covers of the warm bed as you felt the thunder shake the wood of the house as if it were easily breakable under immense force. With your senses now heightened you picked up on the sound of the wind howling outside, the sound of the rain picking up against the window pane. You were so lucky that the foot of the bed happened to be just at the edge of the window and right up against the exterior wall. 
Another boom of thunder and you were now completely buried underneath the blankets. You never were a huge fan of thunderstorms, particularly at night. With the conclusion that you were probably not going to sleep anytime soon, you reached out of the safety of your blankets and snagged your phone off the bedside table, disconnecting it from the charger as it had no use when the power was out anyways.
12:32 AM.
You sighed and opened up your messages and clicked on your last message bar with Josh.
To Josh: 
Hey. Any chance you're awake? 
You laid there for a few moments, pulling up the weather app on your phone as the storm continued to pick up intensity outside. 
Josh:
Just so happens that I am awake. I am downstairs, care to join?
You threw the covers off of yourself and turned the flashlight on your phone as you opened the bedroom door. You could see at the end of the hallway a soft glow of flickering orange. As you descended the stairs and into the living room you could see Josh clad in nothing but a white t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs practically bouncing around the room with a lighter, lighting different candles in various parts of the room.
“Overkill much?” You huffed a laugh as he jumped at the sound of your voice. 
“I would very much like to see where I am going in my house, Sunny.”
Another flash of lightning cut through the orange glow followed by a large boom of thunder once again testing the sturdiness of the house. You had winced from the flash and the sound of the thunder and didn't catch Josh looking at you now from across the room. 
“You okay Sunny?”
“Yeah, thunderstorms… aren't really my thing.” You said as you made your way to the couch in the center of the room covered in blankets and pillows that weren't there earlier. 
“I was going to come wake you actually, I'm glad you texted me. Figured it might be safer to shack up on the first floor of this house during the storms in case of anything bad happening.” He said as he made his way to the opposite end of the couch mirroring your position.
“You think something bad is going to happen?” You asked softly, pulling the blanket up to your chin.
Josh sat up straight quickly grabbing onto your covered foot. “No Sunny, gosh no! We are very safe here! I just wanted you to be downstairs with me so I could keep an eye on you. Especially more so now that I know you don't really like thunderstorms.” He gave you a sympathetic smile.
“I do feel better being down here with you Josh, thank you.” 
“Of course Sunshine, anything for you.” 
The shrill sound of an alert coming from both of your cellular devices caused you to jump practically into Josh's lap to which he let out a small giggle and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “Its okay Sunny. I can't promise this little piece of technological imprisonment won't ruin your mind but I will do everything in my power to make sure it won't hurt you.” You watched as Josh swiped the notification away on his phone. 
“What is the warning for Josh?” You asked in a small voice, heart once again pounding in your chest. You couldn't tell if the rush of adrenaline was from the loud shrill of a government alert or from the feeling of Josh's fingers softly rubbing your shoulder and the feather of his breath across your forehead. Both were most likely a contributing factor. 
“Just a thunderstorm warning Sunny. But we will be okay. We have a sturdy shelter we are in right now, we have each other, I stand by my promise that I won't let anything hurt you.” He pulled you further into his lap then. Wrapping his arms around your waist and dragging you up until you laid in between his legs facing away from him, his legs lay on either side of your body.
Your heart leapt in your chest again. You were happy you were facing away from him so he couldn't see the deep red blush painted across your cheekbones as he moved your hair from the side of your face and neck to give him room to hang his head on your shoulder without having any barrier between his and your skin. The feeling of his breath through his nose on your neck was causing goosebumps to raise on your skin. The sound of the storm battering the windows and the soft feeling of his lips now grazing the side of your neck ever so slightly. Or you might just be imagining the feeling of his lips against you. Either way, his actions were causing your heart to continue to leap in your chest. He must've noticed because you felt the exhale of his breath come out fast against your pulse point.
“Sunny, like I said, no need to be nervous because of the storm-..”
Yeah, because your heart racing out of your chest was now solely because of the storm.
“I may or may not have a few joints pre rolled for special occasions” 
“This is a special occasion? Me being terrified of a storm?”
Josh barked out a laugh against your ear. “Exactly so Y/N.”
“Well, I haven't really smoked in a long time, but why the hell not.” You rolled your eyes.
“That's the spirit!” Josh said, tapping the outside of your thigh to signal you to get up so he can retrieve said joints. 
You watched from the comfort of your spot on the couch where Josh was just sitting moments before as he padded across the living room to a bookshelf. You watched him move a few books around before an “Aha!” sound came from his direction and he turned back to you with a little container. You watched as he waved the little box in the air and shot you a wink. 
“Flounder!”
You snorted. “I'm sorry, flounder?”
Josh jumped back onto the couch spot next to you, his thighs pressing up against your calves as you were sitting cross legged facing him, giving you the perfect view of his side profile. 
“Yeah Sunny! Flounder! Like, I-found-her. Don't tell me you don't get it!” He sent you a dazzling smile as he was unwrapping the bag containing the joints.
“You're such a goober, oh my god!” You laughed again, pushing your hand against the side of his shaved head. 
*******************************************************************
A few minutes later you were now in a slight haze from the joint, feeling more relaxed now than you have since you were rudely awoken by the storm and the pitch black room. You and Josh were silently passing the joint back and forth between you, embracing the soft flickers of candle light together and surprisingly the more you set in, the less and less you were fearful of the rain hitting the windows. 
“Sunny?” Josh asked, giggling slightly. “You good?” 
You hadn't realized you zoned out and Josh had been holding the joint out to you again and you had failed to notice. “Huh? Oh! Yeah, I was just zoning out I guess.” 
Josh giggled again, “No problem.” 
You leaned your head back against the couch as you listened to Josh start to softly hum next to you in between puffing on the joint every once in a while. 
“Sunny, you greened out or do you want to try and shotgun? The joint is almost gone, no pressure though..” He sounded nervous and his suggestion put you on edge. You knew how intimate shotgunning could be and the thought of being that close to Josh made your head spin. 
“I guess I could take one more hit.”
“Atta girl,” Josh said, tapping your knee motioning for you to angle your body towards him. “It won't be that rough anyways, you know.”
You nodded, head spinning and heart beating wildly in your chest as he mirrored your position now. 
“So how are we going to-..how do you want to-..how..” You stuttered out.
“Sunny, it's just me, relax, follow my lead.” 
You gulped as his hand rested on your knee now. You watched as he brought the joint to his lips and pulled harshly. Causing the end of the joint to burn a bright orange. Quicker than you anticipated his eyes snapped up to your face, nostrils flared and he pulled your chin towards him.His lips now grazed yours ever so slightly, and your breath caught in your throat as you parted your lips slightly. The smoke escaped around the both of you as you had forgotten to inhale, easily intoxicated by the feeling of him being so close to you now. Josh let out a silent giggle, you could feel his plush lips turning up into a smile against yours. 
Josh pulled back slightly and smiled at you. “Sunny, you forgot to inhale!”
You blushed furiously looking anywhere but his face, suddenly your hands seemed to be super interesting as your mouth grew dry. You weren't sure if it was from the weed or all the stress you have been through this entire evening. “Yeaaahh..oops?” You let out softly.
Josh giggled wildly. “You're adorable when you get flustered.”
Your eyes snapped to his face now, you watched as he took another inhale of the joint. “Who said I was flustered!”
He smiled as he exhaled and reached forward to knock the ash off the bottom of the joint into the ashtray sitting on the table. He turned back to you immediately after, lips twitching at the corners of his mouth.
“You look so pretty in the candlelight right now..” Josh whispered, his fingertips grazing your cheekbone, his eyes following his fingers.
You're unsure of who officially closed the distance first in your inebriated state of mind but next thing you knew his soft, plush, wet lips were softly pressed against yours. The feeling of his hand buried in your hair was the only thing that you could really focus on in that moment. The joint abandoned between Josh's fingers on his other hand between you, burning away.. 
Josh's soft, pillowy lips were dragging you into the most intense high you have ever experienced. He tasted sweet and felt even sweeter. The feeling of your lips finally melding together after months and months of pining felt like a drink of cold water on a hot summer's day. 
Your bottom lip was briefly captured between his teeth and you felt him slightly nibble and then pull back. A gasp type moan escaped from you and Josh flashed you a dazzling smile before diving right back in. Josh's hand slipped down now from your hair into your lap, giving your thigh a squeeze. His squeeze turned into him desperately grabbing at you trying to pull you closer as your fingers gripped his jaw, tongues fighting each other for dominance.
“Mmmm, come here..” Josh turned away from you quickly to put out the burning joint in the ashtray and like lightning he gripped on your hips bringing you onto his lap, straddling him. His fingertips were now brushing up the hem of your sleep shirt to graze at the skin of your hips as your mouths reconnected again in a fervent fashion. The feeling of his soft, cold fingertips against your delicate skin causing you to momentarily gasp into his mouth and goosebumps fly across your skin. You felt yourself becoming more and more turned on by the moment and he explored your mouth with his. As you gripped onto the back of Josh neck harder, dragging him impossibly closer, his hips rose up and you could clearly feel his hard on pressing against your core causing you to let out the loudest mona of the night in your throat. Josh quickly pulled away from you causing you to panic slightly. 
“Fuck Sunny, Im sorry.” he said, brushing a piece of hair away from your face. “I'm clearly getting ahead of myself here.”
You grabbed onto his face, forcing him to look you directly in the eyes. “No, no you're not. I want this.” You pecked his lips lightly. “I want you.”
“Fuck.” Josh gasped out and when your mouths met again, it was clear you both were about to cross the boundary between friends and neither of you had a problem with it. 
You felt Josh's fingers slowly begin to drag up your sides underneath your shirt. Slow enough that it was frustrating for you. You hastily grabbed onto the bottom of the shirt and tore it off of you causing Josh to giggle. “Slow down Y/N, I want to savor this.”
His eyes turned a darker hue in the candle light as he took in the sight of your chest, finally bare for him. He wasted no time grabbing onto both of your breasts and squeezing the supple flesh together moaning out another ‘fuck’ under his breath. His mouth finally attached itself to one of your nipples, pulling and rolling the sensitive bud in between his lips. You felt his teeth graze against your nipple causing you to throw you head back. He left sloppy kisses across your chest as he moved to give the other one some much needed attention. 
“Fucking hell Josh.” You moaned as you felt yourself becoming more and more aroused. 
He looked up at you with hooded eyes and a slight smirk on his lips. 
That stupid fucking smirk again. 
His fingers now grazing your nipples simultaneously as your mouths reconnected again. You felt him begin to pull and tug on your breasts causing you to toss your head back again and he watched you get drunk on the feeling of his hands and now his very, very obvious hard on through his briefs as you had begun grinding yourself along his impressive length once more.  his right hand still on your hip encouraging your steady movement.
The feeling of him hard and tucked away between your thin sleep shorts and his thin boxer briefs started driving you mad. Your moans now freely flowing out as you focused on Josh's face watching yours. Your foreheads practically pressing together. Josh let out a soft moan, causing you to clench around nothing. 
“That feel good, sweet girl? Are you making a mess of your panties on top of me right now? I bet you are..”
You watched as Josh looked down to where you were dragging yourself lazily along his length, both of his hands now pressed into your hips guiding you along. You watched as his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes snapped back up to yours. 
“Y/N, can I please touch you? You're driving me crazy..”
“Please..” You said, dragging your lips against his right ear, pulling his golden hoop in between your lips and sucking softly. 
This must’ve thrown him off the edge because next thing you knew, he was pushing you down on your back and he was leaning over you, finger tips grazing over your clothed core.
A fresh tingling feeling made its way to your lower half as his soft fingers grazed a small path right up your slit to where your covered clit was and all the way back down again. Josh watched your eyebrows furrow in pleasure. He couldn't believe he finally had you in the way he dreamed of but never admitted out loud. So many late nights were spent in the confined spaces of his bunk on the tour bus, fighting the urge to touch himself underneath the covers at the thought of you. 
You felt his fingers now dip underneath the seam of your underwear and graze across your wet core. A shameful moan escaped you as you felt his fingers at first slowly graze against the wetness then switch up and apply more pressure, breaking against the dam to truly feel you. 
“Oh my fuck, my sweet girl, youre so wet.” Josh let out what sounded like a painful moan.
“A-all for you Josh” 
Your head snapped back as his finger came in contact with your swollen clit, swirling around it a few times. Watching how your body reacted to him in complete awe. 
He ripped away from you then, causing a pathetic moan to come out of your mouth at the loss of contact. “I need to get these clothes off of you babe. I need to see you, and feel you even more.”
You watched from your spot as Josh pulled his own shirt over his head and then dragged your shorts and underwear down. Your legs clamped shut, suddenly feeling a bout of self consciousness.
“Hey,” Josh whispered. “It's just me Sunny, no need to be shy.”
His fingers tips slowly grazing a path from your ankles up to your knees. You nodded at him when he lifted an eyebrow at you and his hands made the move to part your legs. You watched as his lips parted and his eyes grow wide as he finally saw all of you for the first time. 
“Oh my god,” he whispered. “Come here.” 
Josh moved to kneel down on the floor in front of the couch, dragging your hips as best as he could along the way. You were now sitting up, hips against the edge of the couch as Josh began to trail sloppy kisses up one thigh and down the other. 
“Josh” You moaned out breathlessly, diving your fingers into his curls on the top of your head as best you could as he was moving. 
He nipped the inside of your knee ever so lightly, “Mmmm, I love hearing you say my name like that.”
“Josh, please..” You tried to drag him up to your core, desperate to feel him against you. 
“I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have thought about you like this. In my bunk, in my hotel room shower, in the green rooms..” 
You watched as he looked up at you and winked just before finally dragging his tongue along your slit. Your core clenched around nothing at the contact of his warm, wet tongue against you and a moan ripped through your chest as he did it again, only this time he stopped at the top of your clit and sucked lightly. 
“Mmmm, you taste so much better than I imagined.” 
Your body felt like it was on fire with the pleasure rippling from your core spreading to your toes and your fingertips as he continued this pattern between licking through your folds to your entrance and then dragging up to your clit again. He gave your clit a few soft kisses before diving between your fold again. Moans were freely flowing through your mouth by now and Josh was hanging onto your legs to prevent you from clamping around his head from the pleasure shaking through your body.
You felt as he pulled one of your lower lips into his mouth, sucking sharply before releasing and repeating on the other side. He then turned his focus to your clit sucking sharply there, thrashing his head side to side every now and then.
You were already teetering on the edge of your release, so much so that when you felt Joshs fingers push past your entrance and curl up a few times along with his assault on your clit, your body went aflame with white hot pleasure as you released all over his fingers, clenching wildly. 
You couldn't hear your own moans through the contractions of your orgasm but you were pretty sure you were screaming his name.  
Josh was still slowly dragging his fingers in and out of you as you were still clenching around him. You felt him kissing the inside of your thighs,alternating between both as he waited for you to come down.
“Holy fuck.” You breathed out, combing your fingers through the curls on the top of his head again. He chuckled against your thigh. 
“Yeah?” He asked, looking up at you. “That was the hottest fucking thing ive ever had the pleasure of witnessing.”
You giggled as he stood up in front of you, pulling you to your feet as well, wrapping his arms around your waist to stabilize your shaky legs. “I almost came in my shorts.” he giggled, kissing your forehead.
You took note of how hard and heavy he was pressed against your leg. “Now its your turn.” You winked at him dropping to your knees and pulling his boxers down with you. You watched with wide eyes as his cock sprung forward in front of you. Your eyes widened and your core clenched again as you noted how long and thick he actually was. You looked back up at his face just as he was brushing your hair through his fingers, tugging you up lightly.
“Sunny, as much as I want that, I can't wait anymore, I need to be inside you. Please.” He cast doe eyes down at you, eyebrows furrowed as if he was in pain.
You smiled up at him, just as eager to feel him buried inside of you as you placed a wet kiss against his head watching his stomach muscles shudder.
“Oh Y/N..” He moaned and threw his head back. Just as you were about to repeat your actions, you felt Josh's hands under your arms, yanking you up to your feet again only to be pushed down into the same position you started off with him on the couch in the first place. Your legs hung open wide in anticipation for what was coming next. 
Your lips connected once again, hot and heavy as you felt him start to drag himself along your core. Teasing your entrance, then back out and around the rest of your swollen core and then back again just teasing his head in and out of your briefly. Your body felt on fire again. The teasing from the anticipation of feeling him fully buried inside of you making the hars on your head stand at attention and goosebumps littering your skin. The feeling of lust driving you insane. 
You pulled away from him, “Josh please please  stop teasing me, I need you.”
“As you wish, sweet girl.” 
With that, he pushed himself past the threshold of your entrance, slowly stretching you out. He was definitely bigger than those you had been with in the past and the feeling of him pressing against your walls made your eyes flutter shut. Josh let out a gasp as he finally was fully buried inside of you. Your eyes opened back again when he started thrusting inside of you only to see he was already looking down at you with that same pained expression on his face. 
“Fuck Y/N, youre amazing. You feel so good.” His head dropped into the crook of your neck and he started placing sloppy kisses from your ear down to your collarbone, adding a few lips nips from his teeth here and there as he began thrusting harder.
You don't think you've ever felt so much pleasure and so full as his thrusts continued to become sharper against your cervix. His trimmed pelvic hair was adding just the right amount of friction to your clit with each thrust you were unsure how much longer you were going to last. His body, his scent, the way he felt was becoming so overwhelming for you. Tears began to prick the corner of your eyes as he leaned back on his knees dragging your hips up and changing the angle of his thrusts to now connect solely with your g-spot. 
“Oh fuck, oh my fuck, right there!” You yelled out, hands grasping at the front of his thighs in desperation to stop his hard thrusts. 
Josh smirked down at you, his dimple making its appearance on his cheek as he moved one of his hands from your thigh he was gripping onto tightly, to your lower belly and pressing down. Adding to the pressure on your g spot. “Is that it sunny? Is that the spot?”
You chanted out “yes” in time with his thrusts, brain feeling like it was going numb from all the pleasure that was spreading through your body. Just as you felt like you were about to pour over the edge finally, he pulled out and placed your hips down on the couch again. 
You immediately pouted and thrashed your head side to side, “No no no come back no please..” 
He shushed you immediately and rubbed the outside of your thigh, “Calm down honey, I just want to change positions. Come here.”
You watched him step off the couch and he guided you so you were leaning with your torso pressed up against the back of the couch, resting on your knees. You shook your hips at him trying to entice him to hurry and fill you up again. He giggled at your movements and brushed his hands along your hips down to your ass to spread you apart for him. You weren't sure why you were expecting him to be gentle but he was far from it as he roughly thrusted into you again. The new angle made your head spin immediately, once again you felt the hair on your head stand at attention as the only thing you could truly feel was how big he felt inside of you, his sharp unforgiving thrusts, and his hips snapping against you. “Oh fuck, you love it from behind dont you. Listen to you babe, you're a mess.”
You felt as Josh gathered your hair that was hanging down your back into a makeshift ponytail, pulling you back up against him so you were flush with his chest, his thrusts never fully slowing down. His teeth grazed your ear, “Do me a favor baby, I'm so close. Rub your clit, rub your pretty little clit like I know you do when you’re alone and wet and swollen. Show me how you treat her so nice, she makes you feel so good doesn't she?”
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt him push you back against the couch, one hand still buried in your hair at the nape of your neck and the other grabbing roughly onto your hip as his thrusts became sharper. Your fingers trailed down to give your clit attention like he asked you to and you began rubbing sharp circles around it, making you clench around him.
Josh moaned out behind you, “Such a good girl, listening so well. I'm not going to last long. I need you to cum.” Josh's words sent you over the edge faster than you anticipated. The ball of pleasure snapped again in your core and you were clenching wildly around him. “There it is, there’s my good girl. Cum all over me. Just like that.” He wailed out. You felt as he pulled out of you, spurts of his cum landing on your lower back. Moaning along with him. You both took a moment trying to catch your breath and come back down to earth after such an intense high. Josh made the first move.
“Don't move yet, Sunshine.” He tapped your hip and you felt him move briefly behind you, grabbing a cloth of some sort and wiping his release off of your back. Both of you stood briefly, redressing and giggling amongst yourselves. Once you were both dressed, Josh dragged you down on top of him as he laid back on the couch wrapping you both up in the blankets. You snuggled your nose into the side of his neck as his arm that was wrapped around you was rubbing up and down your arm. Your body felt weak from the recent activities.
“Well that was a good distraction from the storm.” You giggled, tracing shapes softly onto his chest. He laughed wildly. “I guess you could say that Sunny.”
Silence fell amongst you two again and your mind started to wander. What did this mean for the two of you? Did you truly just ruin your friendship? How were you supposed to move forward..Josh noticed you tense up against him and he brushed his lips against your forehead breathing your scent in deeply. “What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
You sighed, “I just, I hope nothing is ruined between us Josh. I don't want to lose you in my life.
“Hey, hey..” He pushed himself up so now he was leaning over you, hand grazing your cheekbone. “Nothing is ruined between us. I want you in my life. I want you in my life for as long as you will have me Sunny. If it wasn't blatantly obvious before I hope it is now,” He paused and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips which you gladly reciprocated.
“I want to call you mine, I want to walk into a room with you and show you off, brag about you until people beg me to shut the fuck up.” You giggled at him. 
“You truly are the sky, the moon, and the stars. You are wondrous, and I find myself falling in love with you more and more each day. My celestial love. Please let me call you my one and only.”
Instead of answering him with words you pulled him back into you, kissing him as hard as you could. 
He giggled against your lips, “I'll take that as a yes.” 
“Take it as an absolutely. Josh you have me, all of me.”
“I'm so happy to hear that love.” His fingers grazed against your cheekbone again. “My sweet, sweet Sunshine. You are so beautiful.” 
He laid back down pulling you closer than before, tangling his limbs with yours and tucking your head against his chest practically suffocating you. “Lets go to sleep. Hopefully the power will be back on in the morning and I can make you your favorite breakfast.”
You hummed against him and buried your nose into his skin, basking in the scent of his natural musk. He made you feel so safe and wanted. You found your eyelids growing heavy finally.
“Hey Josh?” You mumbled.
“Hmm?”
“Shouldn't we blow out the candles before we fall asleep?” 
You watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose, looking around the room at all the candles still burning away, “Why did I have to light so fucking many Sunny..”
You two giggled and you watched as he got up and started moving around the room blowing out each candle.
How did you end up here and get so lucky? You're not sure, but you could not wait to see where this went.
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this fic of mine :) thanks for sticking around and finishing it. Tell me your thoughts !
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