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rattyoakenbitch · 4 years

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youtubers: “don’t touch her” ₊˚ ⸝ corpse husband x reader

❝i don't wanna think about, think about you. drink up, drink up i'm so fucked up, all i want is you.❞

gif credit: n/a song: lykke li - sex money feelings die

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

pairings: corpse husband x reader

warnings: angst, cursing, drinking, smoking, violent language, and minor mentions of anxiety.

summary: i can’t make summaries rn hhh just read it (:

“Sean, there is no way in hell I’m going!”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’ll be fun!”

“That’s what you always say!”

“Ugh, you and Corpse are so stubborn. At least I was able to convince him to show up! You know what you need? To get out of the house more often and come hang with us.”

“Uh huh, yeah, y’all have fun, I got some stuff to finish.”

“Yeah? Like what? Your ten hour nap?”

“HEY! Excuse me -”

“7PM, [club address], you’re showing up.”

“Sean - !”

With that, Sean hung up. You let out an exasperated huff, crossing your arms and pouting like a toddler who was just denied a toy. You were invited, or more accurrately forced to celebrate whatever the hell Sean and his friends achieved. With lives like theirs, it seemed like there was always something to celebrate.

You, on the other hand.. Well, you were just little old you. You met Sean by mere chance. It’s a very long story, but you shared some things in common, like your love for video games. However, that was about the only thing you could relate to with Sean and his little friend circle. You were more passionate about writing, as well as reading short horror stories.

Now, that’s where you clicked with Corpse Husband.

He was an underrated YouTuber, whose main uploads were narration videos on creepypastas and horror stories. That’s until he blew up with his Among Us gameplays, collaborating with big names like PewDiePie, Jacksepticeye, and CrankGamePlays (EEF!!!).

You met over an Among Us stream with said YouTubers and immediately hit it off. You shared a dark sense of humor, love for horror, and music. You knew of Corpse before, but only then did you discover that he produced music, which you absolutely enjoyed (and blasted in your house for days on end).

When you found out you lived not even twenty minutes away from each other, you’d occasionally meet up, mostly at his house considering he only went out once in a blue moon. You’d sometimes even spend the night at his place, staying up late, gazing up at the stars, getting deep into conversation and opening up about things you never blurted out to people. But when you were with Corpse, everything just came naturally. You felt safe with him, and hopefully, he felt the same.

Night approached, the clock striking 5PM. You figured you’d get ready since Sean was dead set on you coming to the party. You showered, did a minimalist glossy makeup look, and chose an outfit, which consisted of a half neon green and black skirt that stopped mid thigh, and an oversized distressed band tee which you tucked into your belt. You slipped on a pair of ripped, striped thigh-highs with mismatched colors, (white stripes on one and neon blue on the other), and your platform boots that made you look like a Bratz Doll. You didn’t bother with your tangled hair. You teased it with a brush but didn’t put any effort into styling it, since it’d get messy anyways. To finish your look, you clipped on a choker and dangled a couple of layered chains around your neck.

Corpse would tease you, saying you had a “dog collar”, but you knew he secretly liked it.

All dolled up and ready to go, you hopped into your car and followed the GPS to the address Sean sent you. Drunk couples stumbled out of the club, dates headed inside, and old wasted guys were thrown out. Oh boy, you were not ready for this.

You were the anxious, anti social type. Not because it was edgy or cool, but you simply didn’t know how to handle social situations. However, it comforted you to know Corpse would be there by your side so you didn’t need to chat and flirt with strangers.

It’s not like you wanted to meet anybody new, anyways. Though nobody was aware of it, you had feelings for Corpse. Cliche, right? You knew you shouldn’t have, but you developed feelings for him. It made you feel strange and weird, considering you haven’t caught feelings in a while.

You came up with the bright idea of slowly drifting away from Corpse to maybe help de-escalate these feelings, but you were going to run into him at the club, so what the heck.

You headed inside, your eyes scanning the crowd and pushing through, searching for your friend group. You spent a couple minutes cluelessly looking around the club, but to no avail. Then, it was as if a light bulb clicked on over your head; you never thought to phone Sean.

“Ugh, I’m so stupid.” You reached into your purse to get ahold of your phone when a pair of strong, manly hands and cold metal which you assumed to be rings wrapped around your shoulders, gripping you tightly.

“Boo!”

You felt your heart stop and ran out of the man’s grasp, spinning around to look at who it was.

“Oh, did I scare you?”

The man’s deep, monotone voice rumbled above the sound of the music and shouts. Then you recognized that unique and distinctive voice.

“Corpse!! What the hell?”

His nose and jaw was covered by a black mask, with a print that looked like Frank from Donnie Darko, which was also Corpse’s signature look, seen in his channel art.

Despite Corpse being a faceless YouTuber, only very few people have seen his face, including you and Glam&Gore who he featured in his narration videos. You thought he was very handsome, his baritone voice matching his appearance. You had to admit, you were a little disappointed he chose to wear a mask. You loved seeing his facial expressions, especially his precious smile that would light up the room when he’d let out little fits of laughter. But you got over it and respected the fact that he wanted to remain anonymous.

“You dickhead,” you scoffed, smacking Corpse lightly on the shoulder. Corpse towered over you, looking admittedly both intimidating and seductive. If you were a stranger, you’d probably be running off, but you weren’t scared of Corpse. He was a big softie and a teddy bear.

Corpse chuckled lowly, slinging his arm over your shoulder and leading you to Sean’s group. He was protective like that, even if you were just friends. Now you could see why Sean, at one point, speculated that you and Corpse had a thing going on.

“So, Sean forced you to tag along, too?”

“Pfft, yeah, that’s Sean for you.”

“Hey, there’s my favorite couple,” Sean joked, patting your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at his drunk antics.

“Shut up, don’t make me choke you like I hate you,” you mocked in return, eliciting a fit of laughter from the group.

“Remind me to never hang out with you losers again,” Corpse mumbled sarcastically under his breath.

The night went by in a flash. Sean, Thomas, Felix, and everyone else was blackout drunk. Luckily, Mark was there to assist them. Since Mark couldn’t drink, he would be the designated driver that night. Corpse hung out by himself, sometimes getting approached by women who he politely turned down.

You, on the other hand, were downing alcohol like your life depended on it. For you, it would take more than the average number of drinks for you to get wasted.

“Y/N, don’t you think you should slow down?” Corpse questioned cautiously, resting a hand on the small of your back.

“Does it really look like I’m thinking right now?” you drunkenly slurred, following with a giggle. You waved to the bartender, calling for another shot, which he slid over to you, but not without hesitating after noticing your state. You pushed Corpse off of you, probably more harshly than you intended, and took the shot.

“Okay, Y/N, fuck this, I’m taking you to my place. We can’t stay here and you certainly can’t drive back home when you’re drunk,” Corpse scowled, stepping closer to you. Again, you shoved him back.

“No.. No..” You sighed, holding your pounding head in your hand. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what? Y/N, you’re drunk -”

“I’m not letting you of all people take me.”

Corpse blinked. “What does that mean?” He knew you were drunk, of course, and you were probably just blurting nonsense.

All of a sudden, tears escaped your eyes, racing down your blushy cheeks.

“No.. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.” You began to shake and tremble as tears started to uncontrollably spill down your face. Corpse didn’t waste another second to take you in his arms, hushing you. “Your hugs are so warm.. I hate it. I hate feeling this way. It’s all my fault.”

“What did you do, sweetheart? You can tell me.”

Your heart ached when you heard his pet name for you.

“I think I may like you more than you like me.. I-I didn’t mean to! Please don’t leave me. You’re all I have,” you sobbed into his white tee, clinging onto him. “I love you so fucking much, it hurts. I shouldn’t have!”

Corpse stopped for a moment, processing your words.

You.. felt the same?

Corpse had to tell you. You were drunk, but he needed you to know.

“Y/N, I -”

Suddenly, you had a moment of clarity. Realizing how close you were to Corpse, you backed away, wiping away the mascara tears under your eyes.

“I - I think I had too much to drink.. I just need a smoke..”

Without giving Corpse the chance to protest, you ran off into the crowd, struggling your way through.

Corpse began to get worried when you didn’t come back. He waited impatiently on the barstool where you left him, anxiously playing with his rings.

He was just about to get up and look for you, when he caught a glimpse of you stumbling out the exit with another man who guided you, gripping your arm tightly.

Corpse fumed, his face going red and heartbeat speeding up. He went after you, knowing damn well you didn’t know this man.

The man took you to his car, placing you atop the trunk, your legs dangling over the edge. He stepped in between your legs, caressing your face. Everything was a blur. If your mind was clear, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to trust this random guy, who was probably ten years older than you.

“You’re too pretty to be crying,” he whispered, leaning in closer to your face, until a yell stopped him from proceeding any further.

“Hey, asshole, she’s drunk! Don’t you fucking touch her!”

“C-Corpse?” You hiccuped, hopping off the trunk to get a look at the approaching figure. It was indeed Corpse. His eyebrows were pressed together angrily at the sight.

“You know this dude?” the man said loudly and smugly, just to get a reaction from Corpse. “Relax, my man, I’m just tryna take this pretty girl home.”

“Well this pretty girl happens to be mine, and I won’t let you take advantage of her,” Corpse growled.

You stood by the stranger, clinging to him as you watched Corpse’s face twist into an expression of heartbreak when you didn’t budge. He then noticed the bruises around your arms and wrist, supposedly from the man’s strong grip. He was unbelievably furious.

“Ha, doesn’t look like she’s your girl anymore.” The man’s lips twisted upwards into a devilish smirk, only pissing Corpse off some more. Oh boy, was he ready to snap. He reached into his pocket, when..

“Wait,” you managed to slur out, breaking up the argument. You reached out towards Corpse like a child. His facial expression immediately softened. He gave you a loving smile and immediately took you into his arms, holding you protectively.

“Now, I suggest you get in your car and never come back,” Corpse threatened.

“Oh, yeah? Or what? I’ll kill you and take your girl, you motherfucker!”

Without hesitation, Corpse took out his switchblade, looking the man in his eyes.

“Say that again?”

You watched as the stranger’s whole tough act fell apart. Without another word, he ran to the driver’s side of his car, fumbling with his keys.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Corpse mumbled, not taking his eyes off the man until he reached his own car. You held his hand the whole way, processing what had just happened. Corpse noticed your distant expression. You got into his car, shutting the door and slumping back into your seat. He tore off his mask, taking in deep breaths to calm himself. Then he looked back to you.

“Princess?”

You looked to Corpse, your eyes teary. “Hey, Corpse.” You didn’t seem to be as drunk, your mind a lot clearer after the incident. “D-Did you mean anything you said back there? About the..”

“About you being my girl?”

Corpse took your hand in his, squeezing it comfortingly. He leaned forward and cupped your face with his free hand. “Absolutely.”

With that, you leaned towards him, hesitantly pressing your lips to his. Your lips tasted of alcohol, but Corpse didn’t care. He was admittedly taken back, his breath hitching, but he released the tension from his body and kissed you back, pulling you over to the driver’s seat atop him. There wasn’t much space, forcing you to press closer to Corpse, deepening the kiss.

Still being a bit drunk, you were clumsy and kind of ‘out of it’.

“I’d hold onto something if I were you,” Corpse mumbled, breaking the kiss momentarily to guide your hands to grip his shoulders. But you were impatient and reconnected your lips with his, no doubt causing him to blush even more than he already was.

You couldn’t help yourself and giggled into the kiss, causing Corpse to chuckle along with you, departing from the kiss again and resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry, you’re just so fucking adorable when you giggle.”

You hummed in response, offering Corpse an innocent grin as you pecked all over his face.

“I’m so glad you’re mine.”

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akatsuki-shin · 3 years

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Just stumbled on Word of Honor stuff and it looks so pretty, where do I watch it? Thx!!

Hi, Anon-san!

As far as I know, there are 3 possible ways you can watch it:

From YOUKU apps

From YOUKU Official YouTube Channel

From Netflix

I'm personally not quite familiar with YOUKU apps, especially because I don't really know how to pay for the episodes through a Chinese app. Also, a few details are cut or censored due to their regulations, afaik.

I don't know about the Netflix version because I haven't checked, but from what I know the subtitles sometimes seem a bit off (although it's gradually being fixed).

Therefore, I will cover the version from YouTube because that's where I get all the episodes and behind-the scenes + bonus clips. Pardon me if it gets a bit long. ><

First of all, this is the link to YOUKU's all "Word of Honor"-related playlists: Here

Top Row (left to right):

Members-only videos (I'll explain this later)

Some miscellaneous videos, e.g. Scene Compilations, Fan-reactions, etc (a couple of these videos are members-only, but most are free)

The main episodes of Word of Honor, this is what you want to watch first

MVs for the drama's OST

Highlights/Important cut-scenes from the drama (I personally didn't check this much because it's more like a recap, I suppose)

Behind-the-scenes and interviews

Bottom Row (left to right):

Word of Honor Concerts (will get back to this later), some cuts from the concerts, some cuts from their past livestream events, a few interviews and behind-the scenes

Compilations of fan-reactions to the drama

Just a bunch of trailers for each episode

------

About Word of Honor Main Episodes

The drama has a total of 36 episodes + 1 extra/extended ending (around 7-8 minutes long).

The extra ending can only be viewed by joining the paid membership (will explain below). Otherwise, you can only watch until Episode 36.

The Netflix version does not have this extra ending. Which is pretty weird considering that it's already a paid service. :'))

In the above "Main Episode Playlist", they also include a Special Edition of Episode 6, Episode 12, and Episode 17. These are some fan-benefits they uploaded for reaching a certain number of views.

The Special Editions has a little extended scene that is not present in the final cut of the regular episodes. Since you're going to start watching this now after the show ended, I suggest watching the Special Edition because other than the extended scene, everything else is exactly the same as the regular ones.

Will they add more in the future? Maybe, if they reach a new milestone in the numbers of viewers. Let's just hope. ^^

About Members-only Videos

In the original YOUKU apps there are several videos that you can only watch if you pay, for example:

The extra/extended ending

Exclusive behind-the-scenes

Word of Honor Theme Concert + All of it's interviews and behind-the-scenes

YOUKU recently brought these contents for international fans through YouTube membership features.

There are 2 types of YOUKU YouTube membership and the perks apply to all of YOUKU's dramas and varieties in YouTube, but I will only explain about Word of Honor-related perks.

You can check this in the "Membership" tab on their channel. Also, this should be obvious but of course, you can unsubscribe anytime you want. ^^

1. VIP Gold (around $2 a month)

If you only want to watch the extra/extended ending of Word of Honor, you just need this type of membership.

2. Ultimate Fans Pass (around $20 a month)

You get all the perks of VIP Gold + the ones listed in the above picture. In regards to Word of Honor, these are what you'll get:

The extra/extended ending

Word of Honor Theme Concert from 3-4 May 2021

All of the concert behind-the-scene and interviews

Exclusive behind-the-scenes and some bonus clips (afaik, these are also paid contents in the YOUKU apps)

The full concert has 3 videos for each day, so a total of 6, which are:

Main Stage view

Artist Seat view (basically Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun focus for the entire event, haha)

Backstage (mainly consists of interviews but this one isn't subbed)

------

I suppose that is all I can explain about this show? Sorry that it gets too long or if you feel overwhelmed. ^^a

If you have more questions, feel free to ask me!

By the way, you might have heard of this, but Word of Honor is based on a novel "Faraway Wanderers" by Priest. It is a sequel to her previous novel "Lord Seventh". The two main leads from Lord Seventh made an appearance in both "Faraway Wanderers" and "Word of Honor".

The novels have been fully translated. In case you are interested to read, you can find them here:

七爷 Qī Yé (Lord Seventh)

天涯客 Tiān Yá Kè (Faraway Wanderers)

P.S. Fun Fact: The ending theme of Word of Honor is also titled "Tian Ya Ke", hehe...

#Word of Honor #Shan He Ling #SHL #Tian Ya Ke #Faraway Wanderer #Zhou Zishu #Wen Kexing #WenZhou #Priest #YOUKU

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years

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Okay, seeing all this at once is sort of cool. In my defense about the tags, I don’t often add tags to my posts at all. But I do try to be conscious of the fact that there are a lot of young people on this site, and that the world contains plenty of minors and adults who find it difficult to read stories in which alcohol is discussed flippantly, so when I talk about being a person who drinks alcohol sometimes I try to tag that consistently so it’s easy for people to block those tags and not see my posts. Just... just felt the need to include that explanation, because I feel like it doesn’t make me look great that two of my top five tags are related to alcohol. I don’t post about alcohol all the time... I think.

Anyway, I’m putting my year in review under the cut if anyone wants to see my top five posts and how rarely I use tags (combine that with the fact that I have an Android and would never get an iPhone, and I’m pretty much unaffected by the great iOS tag ban of this weekend).

I posted 1,439 times in 2021

1097 posts created (76%)

342 posts reblogged (24%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 125 tags in 2021

#taskmaster - 34 posts

#tw: alcohol - 27 posts

#russell howard - 14 posts

#jon richardson - 13 posts

#tw: alcohol mention - 9 posts

#josh widdicombe - 7 posts

#lee mack - 6 posts

#8 out of 10 cats does countdown - 5 posts

#sandi toksvig - 5 posts

#rhod gilbert - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#but this is far from the first time i've seen a comedian make a joke like that between 2008 and 2015

My Top Posts in 2021

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I uploaded this video to YouTube a few months ago, and this morning I got a notification that said it’s been blocked in a few countries. I guess Sean’s death has caused more searches for his name or something and maybe that has alerted the copyright police to the existence of videos with his name in the title? I honestly have no idea whether that’s how this works, or whether it’s just a coincidence that it got a copyright hit today.

Either way, fuck that, and this seems like a good time to upload it to Tumblr again. When I first created this blog, just over a year ago now, Tumblr asked me what I wanted my username to be. I knew it would be a Britcom blog, so I’d make the name a Britcom reference. I asked myself what was my favourite Britcom line that I could put into a name. And I came up with the time that Sean Lock expressed a desire to tell meerkats at the zoo to relax.

I said this when I first uploaded this clip ages ago, and I’ll say it again: I really think this encapsulates something special Sean Lock was able to do with comedy. Craft this really specific image (we can all clearly picture the way meerkats frantically run around an enclosure digging holes, right?) and then just riff on it and take us all with him while he does so.

Fucking hell.

122 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 14:06:23 GMT

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I’ve been re-watching some Taskmaster season 7 lately. I really enjoy catching little moments (these two from different episodes in the same season) that tie together.

168 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 01:34:47 GMT

My reaction to the devestating news is going to come out a bit at a time, but here’s one thing: the first thing that brought a tear to my eyes was when I looked at my notifications and saw a bunch of likes and reblogs for my old Catsdown posts because people must be going through the Catsdown/Sean Lock tags right now.

The first thing that made me go from a tear in my eye to properly crying was when I read Jon Richardson’s tweet about it. Sean Lock would hate that he was the reason I broke my usual pattern of not going on Twitter (I mean, Sean Lock wouldn’t give a fuck what I personally do, but he’d be sorry to be responsible for Twitter getting extra views). Somehow I think the picture from their trip to America is the worst part. The episodes documenting that trip are some of the first things I thought of after seeing the news.

188 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 12:29:38 GMT

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Fun fact: Any appearances you’ve seen by Jimmy Carr in the last nine or so years have been faked with body doubles and camera trickery. He’s actually been dead since 2013, when he was murdered by Richard Ayoade on the set of Was It Something I Said.

243 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 16:31:36 GMT

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It must be really unfortunate to be an editor on Taskmaster and have to do your job every day while knowing you will never do any bit of editing that’s as good as this.

550 notes • Posted 2021-05-08 01:33:21 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

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dragonslaved · 3 years

Text

Raise Your Glass

fandom: the magnus archives chapters: 1/? word count: 2238 language: english

summary: tim is a streamer and jon is his moderator do not look at me

read on ao3

“Don’t forget to like and subscribe!”

There is a tasteful five seconds of music jingle before the video cuts. Jon sighs, rubbing at the bridge of his nose where his glasses sit. It’s one thing to moderate the streams, but there is a different kind of hell to editing them for a youtube VOD upload. Tim, thankfully, always makes sure to record a bit of additional off-stream footage to have at the beginning and end of each video for Jon to patch in, but it’s still a pain. Cutting out footage is easy enough, particularly for highlight cuts. But the four to five hours of raw recording is hard to edit, particularly when those watching the VODs can’t see the commentary made of the chat.

How he got talked into this is beyond himself. Something about Martin already working multiple jobs so he can only moderate a few nights a week. Tim, of course, has other things going on handling his own promotions and PR. Sasha took one look at what Tim was doing and decided she wanted nothing to do with it. It may have been smart on her part, if not for the fact he knows she’s doing some occasional tech work for Melanie’s crew.

Jon goes through these same mental conversations with himself every week when he’s collecting all the ‘Best Of’ clips together and splicing them into something resembling a coherent narrative.

But in Tim’s defense, the man is very good at reacting. Perhaps that was why his channel was doing well. Tim’s got the natural charisma and personality to draw in an audience, he’s interactive with the viewers, highly reactive to whatever’s happening in the game. It works. And Jon is, for better or worse, not a bad moderator for the chat.

No, the arrangement sadly, unfortunately, worked out very well for them both. A good following on the streams, and a moderate viewership on the video uploads later. And Jon did take some joy in adding a few personal editing touches to surprise even those who had been present for the stream watching playbacks. An occasional bit of text highlighting something, or an artful zoom in on something Tim missed that made the game harder for him for having looked it over.

Jon thinks fondly back to that half year Tim had considered being an influencer instead. It was a different kind of long-term work, but then again photos did not exactly get Tim’s personality through. No, video was best. And unscripted video was the purest, most distilled Tim an audience could want.

“-on?”

Tim pulled one earphone off, and Jon nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Jon. Been calling for a couple minutes now. You’re really in the zone, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he stammers, pulling the headphones off completely and resting them around his neck. “S-sorry, what is it?”

“Just checking how it’s going. Brought some coffee if you need it. I know it was a longer one, but I appreciate the work.”

Jon looks from him, to the mug in his hand and takes it with a quiet, “Ah.” A test sip and it’s still much too hot. “Thank you, it, um. Just about finished. Should be ready to upload in the morning at the usual time.”

“Thanks, mate.” Tim’s smile down at him could brighten the world. Maybe just Jon’s; he has to avert his eyes back to the program before his face heats up as much as the coffee in his hands. “You aren’t putting in snarky commentary in the text again, are you?”

“Would you be mad if I was?” Maybe a little too-hot-coffee is worth hiding the sly grin on his own face.

“I’d say go for it. Just be a little kind this time?”

“Maybe you should play something that isn’t a horror game next time.”

“I can’t help it. People love it, it’s what they vote for.”

“Oh, they do. But imagine the shock they’d have seeing you play something competently. Like a strategy puzzle game.”

Tim leans over his shoulder to look at the editing so far, hand on his other shoulder. “It’s not as engaging for the viewers though. People like watching someone be bad at a game.”

“Perhaps.” Tim’s always been one for casual contact, but it still makes Jon a little nervous. Not in a bad way, but in that way he hopes Tim never feels how hot his face gets. “But sometimes watching someone be exceptional at a game is worth a lot too.”

“Maybe… Wait.” Jon watches Tim slide the preview cursor back over a section, then over it forward again. “Are you kidding me?! I missed that key?”

So maybe Jon does see some joy in watching Tim be bad at things. He doesn’t try to hide the smile this time.

“You did.”

“You could have at least SAID something at the time! I wandered for an hour before moving on!”

“I take a more hands off backstage approach to moderating. It’s why you like me doing it.”

“God- Of all the-” Tim cuts himself off, watching the twenty seconds of footage again a few more times. It’s clear to anyone that knows him that Tim is memorizing the spot. Likely to do it again on his own time and do it properly.

That was something to be admired about Tim. Sure, he’ll put on an act and goof a bit for streams. But when he really cared about doing something well, he always put in the effort. The man could be determinedly serious about anything he really put his mind to. He usually succeeded.

But for the sake of Tim’s pride… “Would you like me to cut this bit out?” It’s tentative, an offer if Tim would rather Jon not include some of his more egregious mistakes. Tim only sighs.

“No. No… Leave it in. It’s fair to point out, and it’ll be funny in a few days.”

“So you’re saying it’s not funny yet.” “No. Not yet,” but even Tim can’t hide the smile in his tone. At least the man’s always had a good humor about himself. “Hey, Jon.”

He’d been distracted watching Timothy’s eyes and the way the monitor light hits those dark warm brown hues just so. “Hm?”

“I think we just hit a milestone last stream. What, something like two years now? What do you say we go out tonight and celebrate?”

“Oh. Um. I mean, we can, sure. I can meet you. The usual place?”

“Yeah. Bring your group while you’re at it.”

Jon stops the instinctive jolt. “Sure. I can. Bring them when we’re finished.” He forgets Tim knows about that.

“Great!” Tim gives a firm clap on the shoulder of Jon’s he’d been leaning on. “Can’t wait.”

The next morning comes with a loud and unignorable hangover. The curtains have, by some blessing, been pulled closed around the flat. Tim no doubt having some sympathy. Jon doesn’t always drink quite that heavily, but it was celebration and after a show. His group had only encouraged it, that much he remembered.

Well. His friends were likely assholes to his waking mind right now. No, the only friend Jon has right now is a hot cup of coffee at this hour of the morning. The warm bed calls to him, but he had made promises.

“Oh, coffee,” he coos over a sip as he sits at the table. “If I hadn’t promised Tim I’d work, we would not be meeting at this time. Just you and me and the algorithm this morning.”

The number of emails is alarming. All new subscribers or followers to the channel itself. There shouldn’t be such a surge after an off day. Had someone promo’d him while they were out last night? Well. This was part of Jon’s half of the job, figuring out where all this came from and determining if it was worth it to pursue further or not. A sip of coffee down and he gets to work.

“What… Is this.”

He adjusts his glasses, squinting at the screen and through the migraine. “Tim didn’t stream last night, we were at the pub…”

Contrary to what Jon knew, there was a history showing Tim had streamed for at least an hour last night with a fair amount of viewers at the time. Right around the time they were at the pub…

“What did you do.”

A couple quick clicks into the video history and there is absolutely a video from last night. The preview image alone has Tim in the pub, the camera facing a small crowd and some lights. His finger hesitates. What happened last night. What did they do.

Play.

The camera is shaky and trying to focus on Tim’s face. He was always a little - no, a lot - excitable when he drinks out. It eventually finds his face and settles in a steady shot, a crowd behind him and the lights are stage lights. “Hey, guys! So a surprise stream while we’re out. See, me and Jon came out to celebrate two years of the channel! They’re about to start, hold on.”

He moves his face out of the frame to show a small indoor stage with the lights focusing down and Jon can feel a sense of dread creeping up from his gut.

“Tell me we didn’t….”

The video keeps going, the chat wondering what’s going on, Tim almost never streams outdoors or anything like this. Question mark emojis fill the chat as Jon watches his drunken self climb on stage, flannel shirt and hair loose, guitar being strapped around him.

“Oh god.”

His last-night-self greets the crowd and thanks them for the short notice allowance of his group to play. Oh god, he must have been so drunk to agree to this. His band mates clambering up behind him and setting up. It’s only a few minutes before they start playing. Jon thinks for just a moment that maybe the chat doesn’t realize. Maybe they think Tim is just sharing a local band or something. The question marks continue until someone figures it out.

“Holy shit is that jsmod???”

It fills up. The whole chat fills up with shock and confused emojis. It goes so fast Jon can’t quite catch all the comments. And then it’s genuine support and excitement. No one had any idea Jon, the strict, quiet moderator, was the lead in a band.

Oh god, it was one of their more boisterous songs.

“That’s Jon! That’s his band! Haha, god it’s good to hear him sing again. Think we can keep them going for a bit, I’ll keep the stream going for now!”

Tim sounds entirely too giddy with this turn of events. And true to his word, the crowd somehow kept them on stage performing for a little under an hour. The video ends with Tim brightly thanking chat for joining on the surprise stream, and Jon has his head in his arms, tugging at his hair.

He may not recover his dignity from this.

“Go~od morning, boss!” Tim’s voice carries through the haze of irritation and fogginess with the tone of someone who committed crimes the night before and absolutely does not care.

Jon’s own voice comes through his pile of arms and oversized hoodie and hair, “I’m not your boss.” He can just faintly hear the sound of another cup of coffee being poured behind him, and then the quiet steps of Tim coming to sit next to him.

“You may as well be my manager with all the work you do behind the scenes handling my things.”

“If I were your manager, I’d fire you.”

The beat of silence falls between them heavy and expectant.

“Why-”

“The stream, last night, Tim!” Jon nearly explodes with it, his head shooting up and arms out, nearly hitting Tim in the face. “Why did you do that!”

For his benefit, Tim almost looks sorry.

“I… You said I could.”

“... What.”

“I asked if you were going to go play, and you said yes since the gang was there. I asked if I could stream it and you said yes.”

“I never would have agreed to that.”

“You did, though.”

The worst part about it is Jon cannot remember it. Jon, drunk, is a bit unpredictable at best. He may very well have agreed and he would never remember. God damn him.

“Fine. Fine, then this is me, sober, telling you now. If I, any time in the future, try to say it’s all right to film me playing: do not listen to me then. I am saying now do not film me.”

Tim’s eyes are focused intently on him. Really taking that in before nodding and voice gentle, “All right, Jon. Whatever you like.”

“Thank you, Tim. This isn’t going in the compilation by the way.”

“Nope, of course not! Not if you don’t want it.”

Jon runs a hand through his hair, looking at the analytics. “...That said. It did get you quite a record viewers for a surprise stream.”

“Oh yeah?” Tim finally gets up to lean in and look. Gives a low whistle. “Didn’t realize we’d done that well.”

“Hit a new milestone of subs as well.”

Tim gives his shoulder a gentle nudge with a crooked grin. “Sure I can’t talk you into letting your sets become a regular spot?”

“Tim.”

“All right! It was just a question.”

#the magnus archives #tma #magnuspod #jonathan sims #timothy stoker #do not archive #donotarchive #you ever come home from a 12 hour shift and spit out the dumbest thing ever #because I did #How did your friday night go everyone

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auroraphilealis · 6 years

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Too Tense to Be Undone (2/5)

Too Tense to Be Undone (2/4) | Dan’s never had an orgasm before. Despite being in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend for three years, he’s just never been able to finish. The doctor’s don’t know what’s wrong with him, so Dan’s mostly put it out of his mind. Until his gap year, when he starts talking with AmazingPhil, and accidentally admits that he’s never come before. Phil’s happy to help with more than just convincing Dan to post YouTube videos, if Dan will just give him the chance. | Phan | Explicit | Slight Friends with Benefits, Pining, Eventual Smut, Very Explicit Smut, Dirty Talk, Flirting, Getting Together, 2009, Skype | 5,732 Words This Chapter

Intense thank you to @imnotinclindedtomaturity again because she’s amazing and makes me a better writer I love her. Also thanks to everyone who commented and sent me nice asks! I’m so excited about this fic it’s all I’ve been thinking about for days. Finals whom? Anyway, I’m building you up to some… more fun coming soon. I’ll see Thursday ;)

(previous chapter) (ao3 link)

“Phil, did you see?” Dan asked the moment that Phil had answered his skype call. “I’ve actually got like, subscribers. Already!” Dan crowed. He was just so freaking excited. When he’d posted his first video that morning, he hadn’t actually thought that anyone would start following him right away, but he already had a dozen or so email notifications of new people following his youtube channel. Some of them said two or three people had subscribed, while others said 10.

He still couldn’t quite believe it. He’d been waiting all day for Phil to get back from filming with Charlie and Stephen so he could celebrate with him.

“Yeah, I did,” Phil replied, chuckling. “I sort of re-tweeted you, remember?”

Dan rolled his eyes, but he didn't let Phil’s teasing get him down. He could feel himself practically bouncing on the bed in his excitement to share the news. “I can’t believe they actually want to see me make videos. I’ve already got like, a dozen comments, too! Did you see?”

Phil was staring at a blue mug he was awkwardly holding, with his fingers practically backwards on the handle. His gaze was weirdly perturbed, before he took a sip, and offered Dan a sort of chuckle. The fact that Phil was paying his mug of coffee so much attention was really annoying Dan. He knew he could be clingy, but a cup of coffee, over Dan talking - especially about YouTube, which Phil had pushed him into in the first place?

“Phil!” Dan whined, as he was want to do. “Pay attention to me. I’m really excited! It’s not my fault you’re used to having 20 thousand subscribers already. Let me get excited about my 53!”

Rolling his eyes, Phil finally turned his full attention onto Dan. Those blue eyes were so much more intense these days than Dan was used to.

Ever since their conversation about Dan being unable to orgasm, Phil had looked far more ardent than he used to, blue eyes fiery with a feeling Dan couldn’t quite place. It was almost as if Phil was hyper-aware of Dan all the time, now, and sometimes he looked like he wanted to reach through the screen and fuck him. Hard.

Just the thought made Dan shiver with want.

“I told you they were going to like you, Dan,” Phil teased. “I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You're funny, and cute.”

Again with the flirting. Dan wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. It was bad enough he’d only recently booked his train ticket to Manchester Piccadilly, much to the complaint of his parents, particularly his father. But now, he still had to wait another eight days to actually meet Phil in person. And plus there was the fact that he was only going to get three days with the guy. Did Phil have to make every skype call difficult too?

Shrugging Phil’s words away, Dan shook his head. “Whatever. Which video do you think I should upload next? Butterfingers, or Procrastination?”

“Butterfingers, definitely. I think more people can relate,” Phil suggested quickly. His eyes were twinkling. “Besides, you get practically naked in Butterfingers.”

Dan could feel his blood freeze. He remembered exactly what Phil was talking about. He’d filmed a scene of himself waking up in the morning to check how his channel was doing, and he’d bit his lip with his eyes half closed in the perfect shot. Even he’d thought he’d looked pretty provocative, but for Phil to bring it up was. Something else.

“Oh my god, Phil, shut up!” Dan complained. “Quit thinking with your dick, I’m serious. I want people to like me! And my content!”

His cheeks were bright red, he was sure, but he couldn’t help it. Phil was just such a fucking flirt, and everything he said had so much more meaning now, considering their plans for when Dan came to visit him. They hadn’t spoken about it much since Dan had texted Phil that he’d bought a train ticket, and Phil had called him on skype to celebrate.

There had been some blushing from Dan, a question from Phil if Dan was still up for it, and that had been it.

Phil had intensified the flirting, though. Before, he usually stopped on the cusp of making it real, but recently, he’d been pushing the limits as much as he could get away with, making it very clear what he was interested in.

It made Dan feel wanted.

It wasn’t as if he’d never felt that way before, but the way that Phil looked at him, the way that Phil spoke to him, made Dan feel like he was only person in the entire world that Phil desired.

Unaware, or simply ignoring, Dan’s embarrassment, Phil pressed on. “I know, but seriously, Dan. How do you do that with your face? You’re fucking hot. I’ve watched that part of the videos you uploaded far too many times to count,” Phil added.

Dan didn’t know what to say to that. He knew, he knew Phil had seen his unedited footage more than once, because he’d been forced to upload privately to youtube just to share it with Phil, and the view count was… well, uhm. Not 1, to put it lightly. It was just that, well, he hadn’t expected Phil to bring it up. Seriously, what had Phil done, jerked off to the clips?

Dan felt heat rush to his cheeks, making his blush even darker, and he tried not to think too hard about that possibility.

Phil seemed to decide he’d pushed Dan far enough, then, because he relented, putting his mug down and waving his hand at Dan a little. The stupid little smirk he always had these days fell away to reveal a more sympathetic expression as Phil peered at Dan.

“You’re such a dork, Dan,” Phil said. “I don’t know why you’re so worried. I don’t understand how you can’t see yourself the way I see you.”

This was one of those comments that made Dan wonder if Phil was interested in him for reasons other that just sex. Despite all of their flirting, they hadn’t ever actually talked about any potential feelings. In fact, they rarely even talked about the sex thing in any seriousness. But that didn’t change the reality that Dan was falling more and more in love with Phil. He’d always been one to crush easily, and Phil was definitely not an exception to this. If anything, he’d found himself crushing harder and faster on Phil than he’d ever crushed on anyone before - and that included his ex girlfriend. Dan was seriously starting to question how serious his feelings had really been for her if Phil could make him feel like… this.

Maybe Dan just fell too fast. Maybe he was already in love with Phil, and was a complete and utter goner. All he could do was hope that he didn’t end up getting crushed just as quickly.

“And how do you see me?” Dan asked, testing the boundaries a little. He might also be fishing for compliments, but. Well. Sue him.

Phil never seemed to have a problem doling them out, after all.

Phil smiled. He didn’t seem at all perturbed by Dan asking. In fact, he almost seemed to see right through Dan, but at the same time, didn’t seem to mind.

“I see you as a guy who has no idea just how talented and funny he actually is.”

Phil’s smile turned into more of a smirk, his eyebrows raising and his voice dropping.

“And as a guy I’d really like to fuck.”

“Phil!” Dan shouted, bursting into laughter at the way Phil tried to wink seductively afterwards, failing as he did that awkward double blink again. “Fuck off! You can’t just say things like that!”

“Why not? It’s true.”

“Phiiiiil!” Dan whined. He wouldn’t deny that he was laughing (and maybe a little turned on, but who was counting), but that didn’t mean he couldn’t tell Phil off. Phil was laughing too, though, his expression a weird cross between a goose and a cat who’d caught the canary. Dan was completely and utterly enamoured with the look.

He found himself laughing even harder because of it, a weird, giddy sense of affection surging through him to combat the faux annoyance he had at Phil for flirting with him. Dan never wanted this feeling to end. The way Phil made him feel was… unlike Dan had ever felt before.

Phil’s eyes were dancing, and Dan found himself continuing to fall harder and harder. He wanted nothing more than to believe that Phil wanted just as much from Dan as Dan wanted from Phil, but it was difficult to believe - as far as Dan could tell, Phil hadn’t said anything to suggest that he had deeper feelings for Dan.

He just said shit like this, and expected Dan to read between the lines, or something.

Dan didn’t like reading between the lines. There was too much room for misinterpreting things. Too much room for building his hopes up, only to have them torn down. Too much room for getting hurt.

But for Phil, he’d try his best to figure it out.

Once they’d calmed down, Dan reached up to wipe away the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes, and smiled widely at Phil.

“You’re such a dork,” he complained.

Phil offered him a shrug in return. “No, but really. You really are really funny, Dan. You’re quick-witted, and you don’t even have to script yourself to make a funny video. Most of your best lines come from improv, and that’s a really good skill to have for YouTube. I think you’ll be really big one day.”

The words were far more thoughtful than the previous ones, and they made Dan smile, this one a little smaller, a little more private, as he looked down at his keyboard. He still couldn’t believe Phil Lester was his friend, let alone someone he could now consider a co-worker, in one way or another. And to add to that, Phil thought Dan was pretty great. In whatever sense.

It made Dan feel warm all the way down to his core.

“Thanks,” he finally replied, because he felt like Phil deserved some kind of appreciation for his kind words. He didn’t have to say them, and yet he had. That meant a lot to Dan, and suddenly, all of the success of today didn’t even come close to the feeling Phil’s compliments gave him.

Clearing his throat to get rid of the emotion that suddenly seemed to be clogged there, Dan decided to change the subject. “So, how did filming go today?”

Phil perked up a bit at the mention, before his expression turned a little sour. The conflicting emotions confused Dan, who just kind of waited nervously for Phil to explain.

“It was okay. Charlie was late, but Stephen and I got some stuff done for ApartmentRed before he showed up. After... was not so good. I’m only just now getting in because Charlie seems to think it’ll make me jealous to see him hanging all over Stephen, and it made getting any filming done take ages, when we should have been done in a couple of hours.”

Dan didn’t know very much about Charlie and Phil’s history, but he did know that Charlie had once been publicly and fowardly interested in Phil. As far as Dan knew, they’d never fucked, but that hadn’t stopped Charlie from wanting to get into Phil’s pants.

Phil had said that at one point, he’d thought it was kind of nice, and he’d considered it, but. It had just never happened. Dan wanted to believe that, he really did, but. Well. Phil talked so much about hooking up with people that Dan worried sometimes Phil was just trying to protect him by pretending he wasn’t as… sexually experienced as he’d originally painted himself out to be.

Dan tugged his lip between his teeth, gnawing at it nervously. He couldn’t help wondering why Phil’s mood had turned sour. Was it because of Charlie dating Stephen? Was he actually jealous? Or was he just annoyed that Charlie had ruined their filming schedule?

Dan was kind of afraid to ask.

But Dan knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t know.

Dan was jealous and possessive, even a little bit mean when it came to those darker emotions. He couldn’t always seem to hold himself back from making it very, very clear that he didn’t like the idea of his person being someone else’s. Or even someone else wanting his person.

And for right now, Phil was kind of sort of Dan’s person. At least to the hopeful part of his mind.

“Hmm,” Dan responded, so that Phil wouldn’t feel ignored, but so that Dan wouldn’t say what he actually wanted to say.

“Yeah. I think Stephen could tell I was starting to get annoyed, because he made Charlie knock it off a few times so we could finish up. Charlie didn’t really take the hint though. A couple of times I had to tell them to stop being an ass before I clubbed one of them over the head, just to get this all over with.”

“Yeah…” Dan replied noncommittally, glancing down at his keyboard again rather than facing up to Phil. He didn’t really want to have to deal with confronting this one, but he really wanted to at at the same time.

“Mmhm. I gotta admit. Stephen and Charlie make a cute couple, though. They’re both pretty hot,” Phil mused, seeming all to unaware of how uncomfortable he was currently making Dan.

Dan didn’t even bother to answer that one. He stared studiously at his keyboard and prayed that Phil wouldn’t notice his reluctance to talk about this. He just wanted to brush past this topic and try not to dwell on the unwarranted jealousy that was building up in his stomach. His face scrunched up in distaste, something he did his best to hide from Phil.

Phil, however, seemed to see straight through Dan, and the sour expression Phil had adopted turned to one a little more mischievous.

“What? Is something bothering you, Dan?” Phil asked. “Are you maybe… jealous?”

Dan felt his face start to go red.

“N-No!” he replied right away. He sputtered on the word a little, and shook his head. “Of course not. Why would I be jealous? I have nothing to be jealous of.”

Phil’s grin didn’t leave his face.

“No? So you aren’t jealous of Charlie at all, then? Because I’ve got to admit, he is pretty fit. I wouldn’t mind seeing him undressed.”

Dan could feel his blood beginning to boil. He didn’t like the way Phil was looking at him, let alone the way he was talking about Charlie. He knew that Phil had, at least at one point, looked at Charlie as a potential partner, but to talk about Charlie like that to him? It felt a little like… a slap to the face.

“Doesn’t he have a boyfriend now?” Dan spat, because he couldn’t help himself. He just really didn’t want to hear Phil talking about anyone else the way he talked about Dan. It was bad enough that Dan didn’t know if Phil had any proper feelings for him, did Phil really need to rub it in his face, too?

It seemed like every time Dan starting to have faith that Phil might have any kind of feelings for him, Phil would say something like that and just… make Dan question everything all over again.

Maybe he shouldn’t have ever agreed to let Phil fuck him. No matter how badly Dan wanted to know what an orgasm felt like, he sure as hell didn’t need to deal with someone who didn’t actually want Dan as anything more than a plaything. He still had time to back out. Maybe he should consider canceling his train ticket, and ending his friendship with Phil altogether, before it was too late…

“Dan,” Phil called, his voice a little softer now. He didn’t sound so cocky and teasing anymore. He sounded sincere, so Dan risked looking up at him. Phil was still sort of smirking, but the expression was softer now. He didn’t look so malicious. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I didn’t mean to make you angry. I’m just surprised you’re jealous of Charlie. You know I was never with him like that.”

Dan kind of nodded his head. Sort of. His mouth was still set in a firm line, and he still felt kind of mad, but Phil was right. And he’d apologized, so there was that.

“Whatever,” Dan moodily shot back, but Phil didn’t seem to be having it. He dragged his laptop closer to him, so that all Dan could really see was Phil’s face and those gorgeous blue eyes. It was kind of mesmerizing, if Dan was being honest.

“Dan,” Phil said again, “Come on. I’m really sorry. I really don’t see Charlie like that. And besides, there’s someone I’d much rather have right here in front of me. Charlie didn’t make me jealous, he just made me annoyed. You, on the other hand…”

Dan gulped. He what? What was Phil getting at? What did Dan do to him? Part of him knew Phil was talking about wanting Dan physically, but the other part was hoping, begging, for Phil to say it was more.

“Do you remember the promise I made to you on skype the other day?” Phil practically purred.

Dan nodded his head dumbly.

“I’ve been doing a bit of research. I’ve had a lot of sex, but I’ve not experimented with that many things, and I’m not all that sure how to extend the foreplay. I’ve got a feeling you’re going to need a lot more than my cock in your ass,” Phil explained.

Dan’s breath caught in his throat. The very idea of that made Dan’s dick stir with interest. He wanted that. He wanted that a lot. Since the last time he’d talked to Phil about the two of them having sex, Dan had done a little bit of research himself, and he’d watched a few porn videos about that exact scenario. The way the bottom moaned had made the situation seem… electrifying.

Of course, Dan had gotten hard, and of course, he’d tried to get himself off, but nothing had really come of it. Eventually, he’d resigned himself to his fate, closed his browser, and took a cold shower.

The fact that Phil had done research for him though… and the fact that Phil was willing to try that and so much more... That was not only an exciting thought, but set off a warm feeling in the pit of Dan’s stomach. All he’d ever really wanted was to find someone who didn’t mind that Dan had a problem finishing. All he’d ever really wanted was to find someone who’d try anyway.

“I’ve got so many plans for you, Dan. Things I’ve never done with anyone else. Do you want to hear them?”

Phil’s voice was practically molten heat. Dan felt like he was going to explode.

He’d never gotten this hard this fast before. There was that familiar sensation of frustration at Phil teasing him all the damn time and arousal surging through his veins that he always seemed to get with Phil these days, but it only made the whole moment more intense.

Did Dan want to hear what Phil had planned for him? Eight days out from actually getting to experience it? Was having Phil fuck him even a good idea, in the long run?

Dan knew he should lay his cards out on the table, make it clear to Phil that what he wanted was so much more than an orgasm. He knew that he should make sure that Phil wasn’t going to leave him high and dry after he got one little taste, or get Dan addicted so he’d keep coming back for more until he and Phil were in a proper friends with benefits relationship without all the feelings Dan so desperately wanted.

He knew that he should admit he had feelings, and that he was all in, but it was so fucking hard when his dick was doing all of the thinking for him.

So, against his better judgement, Dan nodded his head.

Phil’s grin turned wicked.

“Are your nipples sensitive, Dan?” Phil asked, eyes glowing. He looked like a lion intent on his prey, and Dan couldn’t wait to be gobbled up. He was so distracted by the look Phil was giving him, that he couldn’t even began to focus on the question. What had Phil asked?

Oh. Oh.

“Fuck. Yes,” Dan whispered. The words came out far breathier than he’d intended for them too, and he added quickly, “And my neck. God, my neck.”

He could already imagine Phil getting his mouth on him, sucking at his nipples and leaving marks on his neck. The very idea made Dan’s body tingle, and he had to close his eyes when he let out a soft groan.

“Good,” Phil replied, voice so fucking husky Dan had to open his eyes to check it was still Phil. From what Dan could tell, Phil’s pupils had dilated, and his face had flushed red. Was Phil getting turned on by this?

Fuck, the thought that Dan actually made Phil hard was completely insane to him, and yet made his dick twitch in his pants. Sure, Phil had joked about getting off to dan's nakedbooths and rewatching the clip of him half-naked from his video files, but seeing how Phil looked now... maybe those hadn’t been just jokes.

Glancing behind him at his bedroom door, Dan made sure there was no light filtering in from outside, and double checked his headphones were in right. There was no way in hell he wanted his parents to walk in on this.

“I read something online. It’s usually girls that have a difficult time reaching climax, did you know?”

“Fuck you,” Dan gritted out. He didn’t particularly love Phil making fun of him like that. Right, like he needed a reminder that Dan was different, and that most guys were perfectly fine. At least Dan could feel sympathetic to the girls who struggled to get off, unlike Phil.

Phil just laughed.

“Shush, it doesn’t matter,” Phil said, pacifying Dan’s worries. Dan couldn’t repress a sigh of relief, and Phil flashed him a grin. “Just means us guys are usually a fair bit luckier in that department, but you. Now you, I get to have my fun with,” Phil rumbled. “Anyway, they say that the best way to get a girl going is to play with her nipples, because they’re so sensitive, you know? So I thought, why not try that on Dan. See if I can’t get him going just from my mouth on his chest.”

The words caused Dan to squeeze his eyes shut at the mental image. He really did like that idea, after all. His ex had brushed over them a few times, but a mouth? Fuck, Dan couldn’t even begin to imagine. If his ex’s hands barely brushing over them felt good, lord knew how amazing it would be once Phil got his mouth on him.

“You said your neck’s sensitive too, right? The internet says I should focus on your favorite spots, avoiding the… c-cock and, uhm, balls altogether. That’ll get you nice and worked up. So I figure, why not start there? I’ll get you hard for me just by sucking on your nipples and mouthing over that gorgeous chest of yours, and then I’ll move up to your neck and I’ll make damn sure everyone know who you bel- what you've been doing.”

“Phil,” Dan groaned, staring at him with his mouth unhinged a little. “Fuck, that all sounds so good,” he rasped. Just the idea of all that Phil wanted to do, the idea that he wanted to mark Dan so that no one could miss the fact that he’d been having sex, was making him feel wild.

It was just that, despite the fact that he could already feel his dick throbbing, Dan knew playing with his nipples, marking him, touching his body wouldn’t be enough, and Phil had said that he was going to just… avoid Dan’s cock entirely, that fucking him might not be enough. Did that mean he wasn’t going to try for anymore? “But I’ve tried everything, except… you know, anal, before. I’ve tried slowing it down, I’ve tried… foreplay. It’s never enough. None of it works, I still can’t -”

“I wasn’t done,” Phil interrupted. “Did you really think I was going to stop there, Daniel?” Phil practically growled. “I’m not stupid. I figured you’ve tried the basics, and I promised you so much more. Don’t you think I’d try a little harder than that?”

Dan didn’t have an answer to that. Phil was right. Dan had been assuming that Phil had thought that would be enough, but Phil seemed to be serious about wanting to make Dan actually orgasm, and, well, it was still insane to Dan that Phil was putting this much effort into it.

Phil had gone out and done research, and was willing to spend however much time just on foreplay, when most guys Dan knew... Well. If what his mates sometimes said was true, they didn’t much care for working up to anything. They just wanted to to get to the fucking part as fast as possible.

Dan had always been a fan of foreplay, but he got the distinct feeling that wasn’t the norm. Maybe he was wrong, the guys were teengers, after all, but it made Dan think.

Why was Phil trying so hard?

“Why do you care?” Dan asked, before he could stop himself. The words just kind of burst out of him despite the heavy way he was breathing. Phil quirked a brow at him, always the pro at a poker face, but there was something about the way he hesitated in answering that told Dan the question had thrown him off.

After a moment, Phil’s slow grin returned. “I can’t just let a friend spend his whole life without an orgasm, now can I?”

Dan’s breathing stuttered.

He didn’t get a chance to respond before Phil moved on.

“Do you want to hear what else I’m going to do to you?”

But Dan wasn’t sure. He was still caught up on what Phil had said about not letting a friend spend his life without an oragasm. The word kept echoing around in Dan’s head, a painful reminder that what they had… it was nothing. It was just sex, and flirting, and a little too much tense arousal for any two men to ignore. It hurt. It hurt more than Dan could say.

Friend. Dan was just a friend to Phil, and suddenly this whole situation just felt too weird. Dan couldn’t deal with it. He knew he should have told Phil that he was interested in so much more than what Phil was currently offering. He wasn’t the kind of person who did one night stands, and Phil was. Suddenly the possibility of it not turning into anything more than a one time thing seemed so much more real.

Phil only considered Dan a friend, and it was killing him inside.

“Dan?” Phil asked again, trying to get his attention.

Dan looked at him.

“Come here. I want to try something,” he said. There was something about his expression that made Dan feel like he was meeting the Phil who was great at sleeping around, but didn’t keep very many people in his life.

Dan knew that Phil was the sweetest person in the world, but he didn’t fall in love easy. In fact, he’d admitted to Dan that he didn’t think he’d ever been in love, and here Dan was, falling for him anway.

Dan swallowed, and tried to wet his mouth. There was a part of him that was intensely worried about what Phil might want, not because he didn’t trust him, but because suddenly, Dan wasn’t sure if he wanted to be involved with this side of Phil. He wanted… he wanted.

God, he just wanted more.

Slowly, he asked, “What,” his voice just as hoarse as it had been before.

Phil offered him a slow grin, and pointed to Dan.

“Take your pants off.”

Dan’s eyes went wide, and he found himself shaking his head before he could even form words. Phil wanted to have cyber sex, right here and now, and Dan couldn’t. He couldn’t do that, not with how he was feeling now. Besides, didn’t Phil understand? Dan couldn’t get off, especially not on his own.

“No!” Dan finally managed to spit out, tone probably more harsh than it needed to be. The word sounded loud in his ears, but when Dan turned to look at his door, he didn’t see or hear anyone coming. He turned back to Phil, and tried to hold back the well of emotion he was currently feeling. He could feel tears of frustration pricking at his eyes, and he didn’t really want Phil to realize.

“No, Phil. I can’t do that. I can’t just - I can’t have skype sex with you. I told you, I’ve never had an oragsm. Do you really think me wanking off over a camera to you is going to make me come? I’m not just some - some - some toy for you to play with, to experiment with. I’m your friend, you asshole!” Dan barrelled on, practically hissing the words. “I’m not a science experiment…”

As soon as the words left Dan’s mouth, he regretted them. He hadn’t quite meant to snap like that, and he definitely hadn’t meant to make Phil feel bad, it was just that he was sick of feeling like some kind of play thing, or - or - or god forbid, a medical mystery. He just wanted to be Dan. A person someone considered special, worth it.

Phil, for his part, looked taken aback, and maybe a little chagrined.

“Dan,” he tried to say, but Dan cut him off.

“No, Phil, it’s not going to work. Just listen to me, okay?” Dan nearly begged. “I don’t - I can’t - Phil, you’re my best friend. I don’t think this is a good idea. It’s nice of you to want to help me out and all, but…” Dan stopped himself short before changing the direction of his sentence. “But I can’t lose you.”

The words weren’t exactly the confession Dan should have made, but they were something. They were better than continuing on like this idea was a good one, throwing caution to the wind, and ignoring every warning sign that sprang up in his face. It was better than showing up on the train in eight days, and allowing Phil to fuck him silly, only to go home and find out that Phil was ignoring him on every single piece of social media they shared. Or worse, Phil expecting them to carrying on like nothing had happened between them.

Putting a stop to it all now was better. It was so, so much better. Especially if Phil only saw Dan as a friend.

For a while, Phil didn’t say anything. He admittedly looked a little bit like he’d been hit by a freight train, but it still made Dan nervous. What if Phil hated him for going off on him like that? What if thought Dan was being a dick, or taking all of this too seriously? Dan didn’t want Phil to be angry at him for changing his mind nearly at the last minute, but…

Finally, Phil seemed to snap out of it, and every piece of him that Dan could see seemed to soften; his eyes, his face, his shoulders.

“Oh, Dan,” Phil whispered. “I - I’m really sorry. I didn’t even think. I probably didn’t give you the best impression telling you about my past sexual history, did I?” he asked. Dan was kind of surprised he hit the nail on the head so fast, but, well. He was Phil, and Phil always seemed to be able to see past any bit of bullshit Dan tried to feed him.

What really surprised Dan, though, was the fact that Phil didn’t seem mad at him at all.

Rather than answering Phil’s question, Dan kind of just lowered his gaze, and stared at the little bit of his own chest that he could see in the light coming from his laptop screen. Dan didn’t really want to face Phil right now, and if he weren’t so afraid of ruining their relationship, he might have just slammed his laptop shut and forgot everything else that had happened.

Maybe that way, tomorrow he could start fresh.

But Dan couldn’t do that to Phil.

Phil sighed, seeming to get the hint that Dan didn’t have anything else to say. For a moment, Dan thought Phil might actually just hang up and say goodbye, and that would be it, but Phil didn’t.

Instead, he started talking again.

“Listen, Dan. Our friendship means a lot to me. I know I’ve said in the past that I don’t like… that I’m awkward, and I don’t make friends easily, but you’re different, and I’d never do anything to put that relationship at risk. So, if me having sex with you is something that you think would ruin us, then we don’t have to. But I… I really want to have sex with you Dan. I want to be that guy who gives you an orgasm, and helps you figure out how to make yourself come. I just. I care about you a lot, okay? And I thought this was something that we both wanted.”

Dan’s head snapped up at that.

“I do want it!” he blurted out. The truth was, he really wanted it. He wanted everything that Phil had offered him, and so much fucking more. That was the problem. Dan wanted more.

But what if this was all he could get?

“I’m just. Afraid, is all,” he added lamely.

Phil seemed to understand. He offered Dan a sympathetic hum, and then cleared his throat.

“I won’t let anything ruin our friendship, Dan. That will always be my top priority. But… it’s up to you whether we do anything more when you come visit, okay? I won’t pressure you into anything. It’s completely your choice.”

The words brought a special kind of comfort to Dan, and he found himself smiling despite all of his self doubts.

He wanted all of Phil. But he’d take whatever pieces he could get.

“Okay,” he agreed, and left it at that.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phanfictioncatalogue #phandom #phan #phan smut

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lolbtsaus · 7 years

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Youtuber!Taehyung as a Father

And now it is time for the second half of the Daegu line, the love of my life who looked so super cute in BV S2 I only got to watch about half of it but he was really really cute him in plaid/flannel is 100% just amazing his outfits are always wo W I love him so much, Kim Taehyung aka V aka tae tae

For the original youtuber!Taehyung post, click here, that post also features the proposal bit and for father!Tae, all of the father related posts are here

For everyone that hasn’t read the original father!tae post, he has a lot of kids, in order of age, it’s a boy, twin girls and then another boy

Just a quick summary of youtuber!tae, he has a vlogging channel, it’s mainly vlogs, there are a few tags here and there, there are some sit down and talk videos, some Q&As but 70-80% of the videos are vlogs

Since he does share a lot of his life with his viewers, it’s a no brainer that he’s gonna wanna tell them about the bbys asap like right after he finds out and has a minute to celebrate with you and maybe calm his heartbeat down a bit, he’s pulling his camera out and talking about it

He may not upload that clip until you give him the okay but he’ll film it on the same day so his reaction is genuinely !!!!!!!!! like his eyes are still watery, his smile is still s o so so big and happy and all square

His entire face is just so lit up and it’s so clear that he’s the happiest he’s ever been bc he just found out that his lil munchkin his teeny tiny baby is coming within just a few months

His viewers get to watch his bbys grow up and that’s one of the biggest reasons he started his channel

Not only does having his videos on the internet provide him a great way to look back at his memories in the future, it also gives him a way to build a family

He’s never felt like his viewers were just his viewers, they were so much more to him than a number on the screen, they're like family to him

So to him, it’s only common sense for him to talk about his biological family with them

On the first day the bbys are born, Tae’s showing a couple of clips of them, he doesn’t film too much bc he’s so distracted with the fact that his child(ren) is laying right there and they’re so cute and smol and he wants to give them hugs and coo at them and sing to them a bit maybe

The viewers get to see the bbys grow up day by day

They get to see the bbys go from being so lil and tiny and barely able to lift their own heads up to them still being lil but not so much and being able to run around and talk a mile a minute and form their own personalities and it’s the be s t

Tae can always look back on bby boy’s first word, he can always look back at how the girls would cuddle each other whenever they were near each other, he can always look back at how bby boy #2 was running the mere second he figured out how to

They’re in nearly every video, it’s s o rare for him to post a video where they’re not at least in the background

Like even if his videos that aren’t vlogs, they’re gonna be in the background or you’ll hear their voices or they’ll be in and out of the frame

Even in the few videos they’re not featured in, you’re gonna see a toy or a bottle or a shoe, anything that would hint at the fact that he’s got four kids running around the house

Tae is such a fashion lover like he’s so into his style and developing it further and letting it change as he gets older like he went from wearing the baggy clothes and the cut up shirts that he loved so much to the Gucci and I honestly love that he’s so open about it and that he’s like hey man I bought these really cool shirts wanna see like hell yeah bb I wanna see

So he’s gonna l o v e being able to dress his bbys up in cute lil outfits (until they get to the age where they can start picking out their own clothes at least) like does Gucci make children’s clothes bc if they do it’s game over their entire fucking closet is just gonna be Gucci

They’re always looking super super cute, the girls are sometimes in matching outfits bc he can’t resist it it’s just too perfect of a set up to not give them matching outfits but normally he gives them different outfits or maybe they’ll have a similar theme

But their hair is almost always different, one of them will have pigtails, one of them has a bun or a ponytail, a couple of braids maybe a head band or two

The boys sometimes have matching outfits with Tae bc how can you not my biggest head canon is that his boys would look so fucking similar to him like havE YOU EVER SEEN TAE AS A BBY THAT SHIT IS CUTE

So they gotta do the matching bit at l e a s t ten times within the first month, it’s the minimum

And they get lil beanies bc bbys in beanies are one of my favorites it’s so fucking cute and they love trying to wear Tae’s watches or his rings and they’re basically his mini mes

They’re in their pajamas a lot in videos too tbh Tae’s family would literally have a designated “pajama day” where no one can get out of their pajamas and everyone has to be super comfy and happy and so many cuddles happen

It’s so blatantly obvious that he adores them so much, there isn’t a single video they’re in where he doesn’t kiss their lil cheeks at least once

Like his intro is literally the bbys popping into frame one by one and him kissing their heads as they come in (ending with him kissing yours)

He films this one clip he l ov e s so much of him walking across the street with them and bby girl #2 is holding his hand and then bby girl #1 is holding hers and then bby boy #1 is holding onto hers and then bby boy #2 is holding onto his so it’s one long train

They’re nicknamed (affectionately) the ducklings by his viewers bc they follow him around a l o t and they are lil kids so they have the lil waddle walk that lil kids do and they just look up at him with those big puppy dog eyes like “where we going next dad”

He does a series called Cooking with the Kims where he and the bbys try to cook or bake something for you and it’s always s o fucking cute and funny and messy very messy

Imagine Tae cooking and then add in children just take a moment to think about that bc my heart is just gone it belongs to him completely

It always ends with someone having flour in their hair or sauce on their cheek basically a mess

He always gives them lil snacks to keep them entertained while he handles the actual heat part of the cooking process bc the last thing he ever wants is his bbys getting hurt he is not having that happen

Sometimes the meals may be a bit burnt but it’s always made with a lot of love and the bbys always get to decorate the plate

His favorite video he’s ever made with them is one of the Cooking with the Kims videos bc he feels like it sums up his life really well

It’s a bit chaotic, four bbys but it’s so loving and everyone’s giggling up a storm and they’re cuddling with each other as it goes along and everyone’s joking around and having so much fun and your voice is in the background bc you’re watching it all go down so it’s a video with all of his loves in it, the dog’s in the background, the hamster is in your hands when he points the camera at you, it’s his lil family all together in one video

“Any reason there are chocolate chips in my Alfredo??”

“We wanted to give you dinner AND dessert”

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lady-divine-writes · 7 years

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Coldflash one-shot - “Racking Up Points” (Rated T)

Len following Barry around Central City started out as surveillance, a way to learn The Flash's secrets. But the more time Len spent following Barry, the more he got it into his head to start helping Barry out here and there ... so Barry would end up owing him one. Yup. That's the reason. (2416 words)

Warning for mention of injuries.

Originally written for the @coldflashweek2016 prompt 'saving each other'.

Read on AO3.

Following The Flash wasn’t supposed to become a past time for Len. It had started out as research. Strategy. Barry Allen was Len’s only real roadblock to getting anything done in Central City, and now that Len had decided to extend his stay, he needed to know how to defeat him. Len had already learned two of Barry’s biggest weaknesses – his compassion for others and his secret identity. But those were no longer leverage enough. Len had to really wedge himself underneath Barry’s skin like a splinter, become a permanent presence, but not as a simple adversary. He had to evolve into something that would spark Barry’s interest.

A pet project.

Len had to constantly blur the line between good and evil, be ambiguous enough in Barry’s eyes that no matter what he did, Barry would see him as redeemable.

That way, Barry would always give him another chance.

But following The Flash around had become fun. When Barry wasn’t in the midst of a battle, performing superhuman stunts and flinging witty one-liners, he was actually a bit of a klutz. In the time since Len had started chasing him down, he’d watched Barry smack into more flagpoles, trip over more air, and destroy more asphalt than Len thought humanly possible.

If Barry wasn’t a superhero, Central City would be shaking him down for millions in repair costs.

Len kind of regretted not recording all of Barry’s foul ups and uploading them to YouTube. He could sell his videos to the news stations and make some serious bank. And with the amount of conspiracy theorists trolling the Internet, searching for clues to The Flash’s secret identity, maybe he could start a subscription only service and live off the residuals. Then he could hang up his cold gun for good.

If anything, it could be a way to transition Lisa out of this life of crime he’d unintentionally initiated her into. She could be the face in front of the camera, talking before the clips, and Len could work behind the scenes, providing the content.

The only downside was that if anyone found out that the recordings came from Len, they might stop seeing him as a credible threat and start seeing him as a fanboy. He’d have to quit crime altogether, possibly join Team Flash, and fight for truth, justice, and the American way.

Len chuckled at the absurdity. Like that could ever happen. Still, in another life, it might be something to think about.

For being a superhero with a secret identity, who performed secret experimentation in a secret lab, The Flash wasn’t that difficult to find. It didn’t matter that Len hadn’t finished high school, which Dr. Snow kindly kept reminding the members of their team. It didn’t take a lot of intelligence to use a screwdriver and a soldering iron. Or to buy a police scanner and a drone. S.T.A.R. Labs had their fingerprints on tech all over the city. Even with the cheap, electronic devices readily available to the average thirteen-year-old who’d swiped their parents’ credit card, tracking S.T.A.R. Labs wasn’t rocket science.

The trick was not to let them know that Len was watching. The second they knew, they’d find a way to knock him out, and then he’d have to start over from scratch. But by then, they might up their game. Len wasn’t afraid of a challenge. He was always up for improving his skill set. But there was no reason to make things harder than necessary.

But lately, Len had gone from casual observer to participant, and it happened quite by accident. The first time, it was to save his own skin. He was made by a guy during a robbery The Flash was thwarting. Whoever he was, he thought Len was an undercover cop. Len was fine to leave him be and let The Flash handle him, take him to jail with all the other rejects, but the man called Len out. So Len took him out of the picture. Len realized later that by doing so, he’d eliminated a threat for The Flash.

And it felt good.

Little by little, Len started interfering more – took out a henchman here, tripped up a metahuman there, sometimes with his gun, sometimes with his bare hands. He liked to think that he may have saved Barry’s neck a couple of times. Len had no intention of jumping ship, but he did find himself embracing his inner chaotic neutral. It didn’t seem fair that Barry was out on the streets, risking his neck on his own, with his whole team watching from the safety of S.T.A.R. Labs. Len would think that at least Cisco would be willing to get his hands dirty. Cisco had the balls. He’d defended Barry against Len with that super powered cold gun (which Len had discovered later through spy drone surveillance was actually a super powered vacuum cleaner), but Len hadn’t seen Cisco hit the bricks since.

Maybe Len was giving Ramon too much credit. Maybe he was just a one and done kind of guy.

And yeah, Barry had the CCPD on his side, but it seemed like they’d slack off a bit once they heard that The Flash was headed for the scene.

It seemed to Len that the police in this town needed to get off their asses and earn a buck.

Well, if they weren’t, then Len would.

Not because he felt sorry for the kid, but because he liked The Flash owing him one. He’d keep racking up the points and then turn them in for something big later on. And as for watching Barry’s back, well, all those brownie points that Len had been accruing wouldn’t be worth anything to him if Barry was dead.

Yeah. He'd keep telling himself that. Considering the fact that he wasn’t keeping any evidence of the good deeds he’d done, the likelihood that he’d be able to convince Barry that he’d been giving him a hand was next to nil.

Tonight, Len was stalking Mr. Incredible while he rescued textile workers from a structure fire. The warehouse in flames was located only a few miles outside of town, but Len didn’t know why fire crews hadn’t shown up yet. The fire had to be visible for miles around. Deep in his gut, Len had a bad feeling that this might be some sort of inside job, but he didn’t have the connections to check on that hunch. For now, he’d have to wait things out and make sure that Golden Boy didn’t get himself into too much trouble.

If Barry did go up in flames, Len had his gun on him. He could just cool Barry off.

Sweep after sweep, The Flash raced in and out, pulling singed workers to safety two at a time and depositing them God knew where. Couldn’t be Police Plaza, because then they’d be here to lend a hand, wouldn’t they?

Just as Barry zipped back in from his last delivery, a gold Buick Century pulled up and parked not too far from Len. From the make and model of their vehicle – widely available and highly forgettable – Len knew that whoever was driving had to have something to do with this. Len slouched down to watch as two men dressed in black got out. They weren’t firemen, and they definitely weren’t cops, but Len had a feeling that they were here to lend a hand.

They stood in front of their car and watched the building burn. Len watched, too, wondering where Barry was. Did he get everyone out? Was he doing one final sweep? Did he notice the men pull up and decide to lay low, wait to see what they’d do?

Was he stuck inside, in some sort of trouble?

“Seems to be flaming up pretty nicely,” the first man said with a self-satisfied chuckle.

“Yeah,” his cohort agreed. “But it’s gonna take a while to burn completely, ain’t it?”

“Yup.” The first man reached into his jacket and pulled a black package out of his pocket. “So why don’t we help it along?” He tossed the brick-shaped package overhand into the flames. Both men raced back and ducked behind their car. Len hit the deck as far down to the floor as he could.

He wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but when you’re on a sinking ship, you follow the rats.

Before Len could even consider Barry in all this, the building blew, walls crumbling, windows shattering, fire spitting out so hot Len could feel it through the sturdy metal doors of his own boosted Buick Skylark with the windows rolled up, parked some 50 feet away. Len didn’t know if there had been anyone left in that building, but the only person Len was even remotely worried about had been shot out a fourth floor window. With his head down, Len heard Barry hit the ground, an Oompf! of pain the last sound he made, but Len couldn’t look up right away to check on him. A second, more powerful explosion followed the first, this time shattering the windows of his car and spraying his bowed back with glass.

“Jesus Christ!” one of the men crowed. He yelled something else that Len couldn’t hear over the ringing in his ears. But when something close to words started to penetrate his brain again, Len made out the words “… think it’s The Flash.”

“It is The Flash,” Len heard, the words accompanied by the crunching of glass and the kicking of rubble as the men walked the distance from their car to Barry’s body. “Do you think he’s dead?”

“I don’t know. That was some killer fall he took.”

“Well, he ain’t moving.”

Len held his breath. He’d seen Barry take a hit before. Hell, Len had shot him before. And each time, Barry recovered, gotten to his feet and fought back. But from the sounds of it, Barry wasn’t this time. Len didn’t know if it was a part of some elaborate plan on Barry’s part, or because he couldn’t. But his friends would know. They monitor his every move. Where the hell was the S.T.A.R. Labs van? Where was Caitlin and Cisco and Joe to save the day?

“Hey! Wanna make this a double payday?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Let’s check under the mask. Find out who this Flash character really is. That’s gotta be worth somethin’ to someone, right?”

That was the point when Len knew Barry needed him. Not Caitlin or Cisco, not the police or the fire department. Him. Leonard Snart.

Besides, the only criminal in Central City who knew who The Flash really was was Leonard Snart, and Len refused to share that franchise.

Len climbed off the floor and got out of his car just as the two men started crouching down. The first man, the man who had thrown what Len guessed was some kind of explosive into the burning building, was fingering the edge of Barry’s mask when Len called out, “Hey!” By the time they turned around, Len had his gun powered up and raised. “No peeking.”

It wasn’t one of his best quips. His powers of snark weren’t as strong as Barry’s. But at least the men didn’t get the chance to clap back.

Len froze them both where they stood.

Len didn’t run over to Barry right away. He watched, waiting for him to spring up off the ground and zoom away like he usually did, but this time, Barry wasn’t moving. With the two men frozen stiff beside him, Len couldn’t even tell if Barry was breathing.

“Shit!” Len hurried across the debris-strewn asphalt. He still didn’t know why emergency vehicles were nowhere to be seen, but Len had to assume they would arrive any time. He had to move quick before anyone actually got it into their thick skulls to show up. “Barry!” Len hissed as he got closer. “Barry, are you alright? Barry! Why aren’t you getting up, Barry?”

Len heard more crunching of glass and gravel before he saw Barry’s head move. “Snart?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Len replied, trying not to sound relieved. “That’s quite some fall you took there. How ya feelin’?”

Barry looked up at Len with an unfocused, squinty stare. “Peachy.”

Len laughed at having his own sarcastic remark thrown back at him. “Seriously. What’s the deal? I thought you were indestructible.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?”

“You think anything’s broken?” Len asked, eager to get a move on.

“No. I … I don’t think so.” Barry tried to sit up, but after raising his torso about an inch off the ground, he gave up and settled back down. “Did you do this?”

“Sadly no. Not this time. But I’m here to help you.”

Barry’s total confusion was almost more painful to look at than the black and blues blossoming across his face. “Why?”

“Don’t know. I think it has something to do with that face you make when you realize that you owe me.” Barry’s face scrunches, and Len points. “There it is. That’s the face. Now, come on, Flash. Let’s get you outta here. You need medical attention. You look pretty banged up.”

“No,” Barry said, giving Len no assistance whatsoever when the man tried to help him to his feet. Though, to be fair, he’d just been thrown from a burning building and landed on his spine. “Just leave me here.”

“Now why would you want me to do that?”

“It hurts less.”

“No dice. I don’t know where the cops are, but I’m here. I might as well get you out of harm’s way.” Len took off his parka and wrapped Barry up in it, not just to keep him warm, but to shield him from prying eyes, both good and bad.

“D-don’t you n-need your c-coat?” Barry groaned, suddenly shivering as Len carried him away from the fire, his adrenaline levels dropping, his body shutting down to help him recover faster. “It’s the m-middle of winter. It h-has to b-be fr-freezing out here.”

“Meh,” Len said. “The cold never bothered me anyway.”

“No … No!” Barry groaned. “You c-can’t rescue m-me if you’re g-going to quote F-frozen.”

Len wasn’t actually quoting Frozen, but now that he knew it bugged Barry, he did what he felt any true chaotic neutral would do.

“Let it go, Barry.” Len smirked, carrying Barry to his waiting car. “Just let it go.”

#ColdFlashWeek2016 #Coldflash #Barry Allen #Leonard Snart #Frankie writes

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fromtheground39-blog · 5 years

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Microsoft DOESN'T CARE - WAN Show Aug 16, 2019

Mac or PC, whichever one you personally prefer. You have to admit that there are advantages to the other side. Let me think about it. You simply cannot run, say, Final Cut Pro or Logic Pro on Windows and, at the same time, gaming on Mac OS Sox only there were some way that you could run both of them at near full speed simultaneously on the same PC. Oh, what's that there. I guess there is so behind me and Anthony is a machine that we call the indecision ater. It can be a Mac, it can be a PC and through some software magic it can actually be both of them at the same time as you can see right here so uh. What do you say guys? Should we walk you through how we did it and take it for a spin? I think so after this message from our sponsor Vertigo's PL 4500 RGB LED upgrade kit. Wirelessly connects to your PC and features tons of color customization options, including audio and visual sync, and more check them out at the link in the video description, [ Music ]. If you've seen any of our videos involving hackintosh virtual machines, you'll probably have some idea where we're going with this. If not, here's the twenty second version using Red, Hat's, KVM hypervisor many modern computers can actually have their resources like CPU cores system memory or even graphics cards, divide it up and then allocate it to multiple users or workloads. Using this technology you can even install two operating systems on the same computer that exists completely independently of each other, as we've done in the past. So for today's project, then we've got something really really cool for you guys. So we've taken an AMD reisen. 930. 900. X12 core processor and then what we've done is: we've split those 12 cores straight down the middle between two virtual machines that will run Windows on one side and Mac OS on the other for graphics, we've gone with an RT X, 20 atti for our windows box And a Radeon 7 for our Mac, then we've passed those graphics cards through to their respective VMs, this method of assigning our GPUs results in relatively little lost performance. So the main challenge we ran into for this project. While there were many firsts and videos, legendary code, 43 error, Nvidia, obviously doesn't like consumers running their GeForce GPUs in a VM just go out and buy a Quadro. Combating some weird stuttering in Windows was the next issue that we had to fix and we fixed that by switching to message. Signaled interrupts instead of traditional electrical line based interrupts like you'd, normally get in a processor these days or ever really and finally, getting the mac OS catalina beta to use the drivers that Apple included for virtualized storage. That last one in particular, is prop really exciting, because Apple has never supported it in the past, make sure you're subscribed, because I'm already working on convincing Linus here to let me work on a video on Mac virtualization. Once we get the Mac Pro in yeah. We'Re definitely gonna be doing that. Anywho, where things take a bit of a turn today, is how we're going to interact with our Frankenstein machine. So in the past, if you wanted to use multiple computers, you'd either have to use a hardware switcher and conveniently also call KVM multiple monitors or in the case of the LGU d 79 that we used once before. You would have to be content with 1080p quadrants of a single 16 by 9 4k display. Today. We have something quite special. This display from Phillips is the 499 p, 9 H and it's a 1440p super ultra wide display, with a double wide 32 by 9 aspect ratio, which means that what we're effectively looking at here is a bezel free single display setup where we've got the equivalent of 2 27 inch monitors side by side with no bezel in between them, so we can completely seamlessly interact with both of our VMs. How do you do that? You might be asking well well so did you do that? Yeah? This energy is still kind of trying to work out the kinks of their 2.0 release. So I decided to use a different piece of software, just kind of switched things I'll call share mouse, which has some, unfortunately, agro marketing, but hey if it works, it works and for the most part, although there are some glitches like you can see my Mac OS Cursor is actually still kind of ghosted over here there you go and you can see kind of the header of my windows cursor. For the most part it actually does work. We can move the cursor seamlessly from one of our displays over to the other, as if the imaginary line down the middle didn't exist, in fact, actually we could probably do some really cool stuff. Like pretend that the whole thing is one machine, so I actually don't know how to switch the wallpaper on a Mac, but I'm gonna go ahead and do this one nice, it's an abomination, isn't it beautiful? Oh, I like this too LTTE store.com by a water bottle. Ok, then, so we're good. Essentially, what we've got here is to rise in 5:30 600 systems, but on one machine, we're running Mac OS and, on the other, one we're running Windows with seamless Mouse movement between them, which means, if I wanted to. I could browse the Internet over here in Safari and then potentially use an Apple Magic Trackpad for gesture control. While I fire up, let's say game, like shadow of the Tomb Raider over on the other side. Wait am I just running in a circle right now? Yes, so I'm like okay, I'm bored of playing video games or whatever and I go over - and I browse the forum. Then I'm just like oh yeah, you know what I'm gonna go back to playing video games, freakin nuts yeah and you can set up a keyboard shortcut to switch automatically, so you don't need to Creole tap. We just haven't set that up yet so, let's say game play, isn't your number one priority, maybe you're a content creator like a youtuber or a twitch streamer and that's kind of more of your jam. So what you could do, then, is capture some gameplay with shadow play or OBS and then port that directly over to the Mac by dragging and dropping and there you can use that if you're more comfortable with it check this out. So I just grabbed the clip that I recorded right now, while you're talking dragged it over the middle line and loop there. It is, let's see what the back looks like boom nice just like that now doesn't copy that quickly: we're limited to about 20 megabytes. A second, so there's probably some work. The developer could do on that, but hey the footage is there now. One thing I did want to mention is that we didn't manage to login to the App Store. We think it might be something to do with our copy of Final Cut Pro being on my consumer register at Apple account and this being a developer only OS, because it's still the preview but hey. The point is, if you're comfortable, editing in Final Cut Pro, you can create your content on Windows and then you can edit it together on the Mac, and then you could log into YouTube on Windows, and you can upload it from Windows. If you wanted to pretty cool best of all, if you want, you can select just one of the VMS for full productivity, with the press of a button and another button and another button and another button, this they told us it was gonna, be just like One button to switch yeah yeah. They said that they could actually set it up to just switch by a single button. But as far as I can tell no, but it does have a KVM and that is the keyboard, video mouse rendition of KBM, so ready hat. So, what's cool about that at the very least, is that if you want to use just one set of peripherals for both of your OSS, you can by plugging in through the monitor right? Let me just switch inputs here. Obviously, I could change it to full resolution, but yeah as we can see it's being a little bit dumb and also our Mac needs to be unplugged and replugged. Sometimes, in order to pick up this yeah, that's just Apple things. I think. Okay, it's a little janky, but what's cool about our setup here is that it doesn't even have to be Windows and Mac OS. It'S just that, thanks to the Mac OS catallena beta Mac OS now supports not just virtualized storage like Anthony mentioned before that allowed us to take our single PCIe gen 4. So like this high performance, 2 terabyte SSD and split it up, but it even supports other verdi, o devices. Now so we can get access to near native speeds over the network as well. Like imagine what it would be like to take a machine like this and be able to split something like the upcoming 16 core Raisa 939 50 X, I mean, even without all the PCI Express Lanes and memory bandwidth that you could get from something like a thread. Ripper you'd be compromising very little janky NASA side with a dual setup like this, so I mean. Maybe we should come back to this concept when that launches, make sure you guys are subscribed and stay tuned, because if nothing else we'll definitely be checking out virtualization on the upcoming Mac Pro yeah and by that time I think that there's a lot more, that I Could do to smooth out the experience overall like having a virtualized 9p shared drive between the two OSS that lets it basically become a network drive that native speeds, but that's all we have time for today. So if you haven't seen it already check out our previous Mac, virtualization videos, we'll have them linked below pulse way, is a real-time, remote monitoring and management software that helps you fix problems on the go you can send commands from routerhosting any mobile device and the software is Compatible with Windows, Mac and Linux pulse way, single app gives you remote desktop functionality, so you can get access to real-time status system resources. You can see logged in users, you can monitor network performance, you can manage Continue windows updates and more, in fact, the sky's the limit, because you can create and deploy your own custom scripts to automate your IT tasks so try it for free at pulse wacom or through Our link in the video description hi thanks for watching

youtube

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omgnsfwisnsfw-blog · 5 years

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NSFW #2.3: Watch The Throne

The setting was nondescript. It could have been a room or soundstage anyplace, mostly dark save some strategic lighting and a director-style chair occupied by a lovely, chipper young blonde woman wearing a dress tastefully straddling the line between professional and provocative, a microphone clipped to the collar. “Greetings, Valor Pro Faithful, Emily Burlingame here. Rite of Kings is just around the corner. We’ve already heard from the Apex Champion but well, I wanted to speak directly to a tag team that also doesn’t seem to lack in confidence.” The camera pulled back, revealing Emily’s interviewees. To her left was Bishop Church, clad in a pearl-grey suit with a darker shirt unbuttoned at the collar. At her right was Mike McGuire, their outfit mirroring their partner’s- a charcoal grey affair with a white shirt, similarly undone- with the exception of a well-loved New York Mets cap that rested atop their short, fiery hair. “Joining me right now are Mike McGuire and Bishop Church, better known as NSFW,” Emily looked to John to kick things off. He just stared right back so she repeated herself, “...better known as NSFW.” Precious seconds passed by as Emily watched John fidget with his watch. “That’s us. And might I say, we’re awful happy to be here. Starting to think we oughta’ve done a formal-like interview sooner.” The redhead gave Emily a saucy sort of grin. “I’m sure I can speak for many that you two are a welcome addition to the Chimera Tag Team Division,” but with pleasantries exchanged, the interviewer retrieved an index card from her right side, “Mike. Bishop. You two busted on the scene with an impressive victory over Brenna Gordon and Berlin Anderson. That secured NSFW a Chimera championship bout against the current holders Rekota--” “--which ain’t gonna be a walk in the park. We’ve seen--” “But,” Emily interjected, “before we talk about that, I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring something up. We know you two don’t mince words. You said as much,” and she turned to Mike, “you also walked back what transpired in that match. It went beyond calling out each other’s methods. So what happened?” “Actually, if it’s all the same to you, m’dear, can we stick to the subject at hand? Big title match. Lookin’ to become the third Chimera Tag Champs in our second outing in this company. That’s not a small fuckin’ deal.” But Emily persisted, “You’re right, that’d be a pretty quick turnaround. But I think this is fair game. Moments after Brenna and Berlin uploaded their latest piece denouncing you two as hypocrites, Mike, you alluded that Brenna knew nothing. Then NSFW went dark. Uncharacteristically, you two show up after Blitz had already begun. And then left minutes after your match concluded.” Emily turned her attention to John, though. “That seems odd, don’t you think?” John shrugged in response. Mike sighed, adjusting their Mets cap in a manner that could easily be construed as annoyed. “Miss Burlingame, you’re really goddamn cute but you keep getting distracted by the shiny object. C’mon. Lot to unpack here. We’ll be glad to answer your questions but can we stay on topic?” Emily smiled wryly at Mike’s compliment but she barreled through, “Mike. Bishop. Are you two together?” “Yes,” John finally piped in, “we’re a team.” And the blonde shook her head and she repeated herself emphatically stating each word, “No, are you two together?” The air was terribly tense. One of Mike’s hands had curled into a noticeable fist, their jaw ticing slightly. Their eyes flicked over to their partner. Back to the journalist. Then they closed, the Bronx brawler breathing in and letting out an exhale. The sharpness of their words had probably been dulled by the cooldown breath they’d taken, but it still lingered in the undertone. “What do you think?” “I think Brenna Gordon struck a nerve. She called out your hypocrisy for denigrating what they are. And despite this,” she pointed back and forth at the current seating situation, “You walked on the stage before you thought anyone was here, holding hands.” “It was cold.” Emily stifled a chuckle at John’s retort, “There is literally no air conditioning in here.” “My partner’s actually right. It was cold of Gordon to run her yap about something she don’t know shit about. It was cold to stir up all kinds of crap that we got to deal with now, including questions like this. You ain’t the first Clark Kent who thinks they have some scoop and just bulldog the fuck onto it. No offense, I know journalistic persistence is a thing and I’d like to think you don’t mean no harm by it, but it’s got jack-all to do with anything.” “And no offense, Mike, it has everything to do with everything. What are you going to say about Cross and Dakota? Run them down for being what they are? Say what you want about them but they aren’t pretending to be something they aren’t. So, Mike, John, that’s not going to cut it.” “And here I thought we were gonna be friends. Jesus Fuck, this is Ace Heart all over again.” The hard tone crept back into Mike’s voice, dark green eyes narrowing. “But like I mentioned before, my first impressions ain’t been that spot on lately. Do me a favor, sweetcheeks. Don’t ever put fuckin’ words in our mouths again. If you would’ve asked us about Cross and Dakota first off, you’d know that what you just said is as full of shit as they are.” “Emily. My name’s Emily.” John cut in before anything else could be said about that, “Emily. It’s a matter of perception.” “What does that even mean?” “Let’s look back at the preview for our last match, shall we? Brenna Gordon is introduced as Berlin’s fuckin’ mistress. Cross and Dakota? The’re the Power Couple. And you could’ve asked us anything about our Chimera Tag Team Championship match, anything at all. Shit, we encouraged you to. But what do you go for instead? ‘Are you two together?’ What I would like to know is when the fuck any of this became relevant. When who anyone may or may not be fucking became the hot topic and not, y’know. Wrestling. The word on the goddamn marquee.” “Our intention wasn’t to denigrate anyone in the manner you’re speaking of. Brenna Gordon said what she said based on perception. But she also said it without any fear of the repercussions. That’s what happens when you choose to live in a seemingly different plane of existence. But in due time, Berlin Anderson and her will have to step back into the real world and square up,” he moved on, “Dakota Jennings. Cross Reboca. They speak for themselves. It’d be lazy for us to wade into that trap. Miss Jennings had fought against that perception for so long before she just gave in.” “A little research shows us what she did to her last partner. I’d feel bad for it if said partner and us didn’t have a history and we didn’t know she probably had it coming, but I digress. No more Ms. Nice Girl.” Emily didn’t take the bait, “You two try this often. Going for the divide and conquer tactics so to speak. Why is that?” “Church? Remind me that we oughta handle our own interviews from now on so we can channel out at least one line of crap.” Mike snorted. One could almost imagine a plume of smoke curling, dragonlike, from their nostrils. Both hands were tightened into fists by now, and trembling slightly. John turned it back towards the question. “Suitable tactic. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. And clearly it didn’t against those two. And yet,” John paused to signify their status, “here we are. Whether we are confident or arrogant, we got here by playing the game. And that means exploiting the weaknesses of our opponents. So Emily Burlingame, you’re probably right. We aren’t going to drive a wedge between Rekota. But through their actions and words they have made it clear, they are not worthy to represent this division.” “And before you make any cute comments, let me clarify,” Mike cracked their knuckles and placed their hands on their knees, leaning forward, “Anyone who either has a decent memory or access to YouTube knows where Cross Recoba’s head’s really at. He has a blonde-haired barefoot monkey named Cosmo Cooper on his back. He’s made no fuckin’ bones about the fact his sights are set on the Apex Championship and is practically obsessed with the idea of becoming the first Valor Grand Slam Champion. To be honest? I don’t think he really gives a crap how long he holds the Chimeras. All he needed to do was win them once to be one belt away from his precious Grand Slam. They never seemed to be his ultimate goal at all, and that should be fucking insulting. Not just to us, but every tag team busting ass to win them. But that’s alright. He ain’t never had a successful title defense yet, and we’re not about to let him start now.” “And Dakota Jennings, meanwhile, I wonder what is going through her mind. Losing the Chimera Tag Team Championships is one thing but …” John trailed off and Emily attempted to bring him back into the fold, “But, what?” “Unlike the modest Berlin Anderson, I’d never take pleasure in the fact but Miss Jennings knows very well that she is one defeat away from being a former employee of Valor Pro.” “Hey now, that’s exactly right.” Mike’s grin turned downright sharkish, “Now, most people would think that’d have us at a stark disadvantage. Dakota’s already shown herself to be violent and vicious as hell- that’s how she got herself into this little predicament. Her desperation’s only gonna make her moreso- her desperate to keep her job, and shit, Cross desperate to help her keep it. The thing about desperation is this- it makes you fuckin’ sloppy. People may turn up the voltage when under the gun but it rarely does crap for accuracy.” John nodded in affirmation, “But we’re patient. So color us surprised when we had the opportunity to jump right in. Maybe it's that whole perception thing again. We’ve heard a lot of this living and breathing as champion as of late. Here. Elsewhere. Out of our own mouths. I believe that to a degree. I know, Emily, that if Rite of Kings isn’t our night that we’ll be back the next. And this should send palpitations to your heart, but even in defeat, we have each other’s backs. But, Miss Jennings? There is no tomorrow. I mean, I suppose, Cross Reboca would be fine either way. Lofty aspirations and all.” “Okay, okay,” Emily set the notecard aside finally, format being out the window and all, “What makes NSFW worthy of being Chimera Tag Team Champions?” “You’d know that by now if you weren’t single-mindedly asking us about what ain’t your or anyone’s business,” Mike scoffed, “We’ve said it before and we’ll keep saying it as long as people keep asking. We ARE Tag Team Wrestling. The embodiment of what it is on its very best days runs through us. We ain’t looking beyond that gorgeous pair of belts. We’re looking straight at them. They ain’t a stepping stone, they are to be stepped to. What all too many outfits treat as an afterthought, we treat with the respect it deserves.” John slid off the chair abruptly, “Perception is that this division is secondary to the melodrama of two usurpers. That changes the same night that Rekota ends.” Mike stood up as well, “The name of the show’s fuckin’ apt. The kings have arrived and the crowns are there for the taking. Stop watching TMZ for five seconds… and watch the throne.” Almost simultaneously, NSFW unclipped their mics, dropped them, and left a slightly stammering Emily behind them without another word.

#location: valor pro studios

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onlinemarketingcourses · 5 years

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17 Ways to Get More YouTube Subscribers (2018)

In this post you’re going to learn how to get more YouTube subscribers in 2018.

In fact:

These are the exact strategies I used to grow my channel from zero to 165,900 subscribers.

And today I’m going to show you how I did it…

…and how you can do the same thing.

1. Use “Power Playlists”

“Power Playlists” are like regular playlists… but better.

Here’s exactly how they work:

You see, most playlists are organized by topic.

But Power Playlists are different.

Instead of topics, Power Playlists are organized by outcomes.

Here’s an example from my channel:

As you can see, the title of that playlist is an outcome:

Which makes people MUCH more likely to watch my playlist… and subscribe.

And that leads us to…

2. Publish LONG Videos (10+ Minutes)

Yup, this goes against conventional wisdom.

But stay with me.

I recently did the largest YouTube ranking factors study ever.

And we found something surprising:

Longer videos rank better in YouTube.

For example:

A few months ago I published this video.

As you can see, my video is almost 14 minutes long:

And that’s one of the main reasons that it ranks #1 in YouTube for the keyword: “backlinks”:

3. Promote Videos In Your End Screen

Here’s the deal:

The more of your videos someone watches, the more likely they are to subscribe.

The question is:

How do you get people to watch 2, 5 or even 10 of your videos?

Promote another video in your End Screen.

Here’s an example from my channel:

This simple “Next Video” has led to TONS of bonus views and subscribers:

Here’s how you can do the same thing:

First, include 10 seconds of time at the end of your videos specifically for your End Screen.

Here’s what mine looks like:

Then, use YouTube’s End Screen editor to add a link to a related video:

That’s all there is to it 🙂

4. Branding Watermark = Subscribe Button

This is the ultimate YouTube subscriber hack.

You probably know that you can add a Branding Watermark to your videos.

This watermark lets viewers subscribe to your channel inside of your video.

Unfortunately, most Branding Watermarks are completely ignored.

For example…

Last year I added this watermark to all of my videos:

And it did absolutely nothing.

So I decided to try something new.

Instead of a watermark that looked cool…

…I used one that looked like a normal YouTube subscribe button.

And it worked!

My new watermark generated 70% more subscribers than my old one.

Pretty cool.

5. Focus On Quality… Not Quantity

When I first started my YouTube channel, I read the same advice over and over again:

“If you want to grow your channel, you need to upload videos on a regular basis”

As it turns out, this is HORRIBLE advice.

I’ll explain.

When I first started my channel I published videos on a consistent schedule…

…but no one watched them.

And the few people that watched my videos didn’t even bother to subscribe.

It was REALLY frustrating.

So I decided to change things up.

Instead of quantity, I decided to focus 100% on quality.

And this “quality over quantity” approach worked like magic.

Flash forward to today and my channel generates over 200k views per month from only 24 total videos:

And because I pour my heart and soul into every video, 7k people subscribe to my channel every month:

6. Reply To EVERY Comment

This is one of the EASIEST ways to get more subscribers.

In fact, YouTube’s internal data has found a clear correlation between replying to comments and subscribers:

Why does this help?

Well, most YouTubers never reply to comments.

Which means you instantly stand out when you do.

That’s why I do my best to reply to as many comments as I can.

(Especially right after a new video comes out)

7. Write a Compelling Channel Description

Your YouTube Channel Description is HUGE.

Sadly, most Channel Descriptions look like this:

Imagine that you’re considering subscribing to that channel.

Is that description going to make someone lunge for the subscribe button?

Probably not.

Contrast that weak description with this one:

This about page works because it:

Tells you what the channel is all about

Gives you important information on the channel (like the upload schedule)

Includes a strong call to action to subscribe

Here’s a template to help you write your own Channel Description:

Pro Tip: Sprinkle in a handful of keywords in your description. This can help your channel rank better in YouTube search.

For example, I sprinkled in a few different keywords that people searching for my content would use…

…like “SEO”, “link building” and “content marketing”.

8. Funnel People to “Subscriber Magnets”

This is working GREAT for me right now.

Here’s the step-by-step process:

First, head over to your YouTube Analytics.

And click “Subscribers” → “YouTube Watch Page”.

Next, identify the video that brought you the most subs last month:

(This video is your “Subscriber Magnet”)

In my case, this ONE Subscriber Magnet from my channel brings in as many subscribers as 13 other videos from my channel… combined.

Why is this important?

Your Subscriber Magnet video is PROVEN to generate subscribers.

And if you can get these video in front of more people, you’ll get more subscribers

Here are 3 ways to get more eyeballs on your Subscriber Magnet.

First, feature that video in your End Screen.

Second, make a playlist that starts off with that video:

Finally, promote that video in a card:

You can even make your Subscriber Magnet your channel trailer.

For example, Evan Carmichael uses his high-converting Steve Jobs video as his trailer:

That way, Evan’s high-converting video gets in front of everyone that visits his channel page

9. Use an Awesome Channel Icon

Your Channel Icon shows up EVERYWHERE on YouTube.

That’s why it’s really important to use the right one.

So if you’re a personal brand, use a high-res headshot:

If you’re a company channel, use a version of your logo designed for YouTube.

For example, ESPN rounded their logo so it works perfectly as a Channel Icon:

10. Create a Channel Tagline

Let’s face it:

Most YouTube channels do NOTHING to stand out.

And hey, I’m not judging.

In the early days of my channel I completely ignored my channel’s positioning.

And it was one of the main reasons that I struggled.

Once I started to strategically position my channel, my views and subscribers shot up like a rocketship.

Fortunately, you don’t need an MBA to position and brand your channel.

In fact, all you need to do is create a simple tagline.

Here’s the 3-step process:

First, identify ONE thing that makes your channel unique or different.

Maybe you’re a busy mom that can deadlift 500 pounds.

Maybe your channel teaches software companies how to grow their blog.

The exact “thing” doesn’t matter.

As long as it’s different than the other channels in your niche, you’re set.

For example:

My videos teach people marketing strategies they can use to grow their business.

But if I made my tagline “I teach marketing strategies” or “I help you grow your business”, I’d blend in with thousands of other channels on YouTube.

So I decided to focus on the ONE thing that my channel focuses on:

Higher rankings and more traffic.

Second, put that tagline in big font on your Channel Art.

Here’s mine:

Finally, say your tagline in your Channel Trailer.

11. Heart Awesome Comments

A while back YouTube launched “Creator Hearts”.

Creator Hearts make it easy to highlight awesome comments from your community:

Now for the interesting part…

When you heart a comment, that person gets a notification:

And according to YouTube’s own data:

That’s right:

Heart notifications get 300% more clicks than average.

So whenever someone leaves a solid comment, hook them up with a heart:

As you just saw, this will bring them back to your video… and make them VERY likely to subscribe.

12. Make a Killer Channel Trailer

Here are 3 tactics for making a channel trailer that converts:

Kick things off with your tagline

Start your trailer off with your channel’s tagline.

(Don’t have a tagline. Check out technique #10 from this post)

For example, I say my tagline (“Higher Rankings and More Traffic”) within the first 5 seconds of my trailer:

Stick to 60 seconds (or less)

YouTube themselves say that shorter trailers convert best:

That’s why I made my trailer about a minute long:

Show off your best stuff

Your trailer is a GREAT opportunity to promote your best content.

That’s why the middle of your trailer should be a 20-30 second highlight reel.

For example, my trailer includes LOTS of clips from my other videos:

That way, viewers can quickly get a feel for the type of content that I publish.

13. Create Videos That CRUSH Watch Time

Yup, Watch Time is a massively important YouTube ranking factor.

And not just for YouTube SEO.

Videos with high Watch Time numbers get promoted more often on the YouTube homepage:

And in the Suggested Video sidebar:

That’s why YouTube states that:

Question is:

How do you maximize Watch Time?

Use lots of Pattern Interrupts.

Definition

An event that changes a person’s thought patterns.

Pattern Interrupts make your videos more dynamic…

…which keeps people watching.

That’s why I use TONS of Pattern Interrupts in every video.

Including graphics:

Jump cuts:

And corny jokes:

Remember:

Pattern Interrupts don’t need to be anything fancy.

For example, check out this video from Safiya Nygaard:

Safiya uses lots of super simple Pattern Interrupts (like camera angle changes and simple graphics) to keep things fresh.

14. Embed YouTube Videos In Blog Posts

Your blog is a HUGE untapped source of views and subscribers.

Why?

Well, if someone’s reading your text content, they clearly like your stuff.

Which means they’re primed to subscribe.

That’s why I embed lots of videos in my blog posts.

Sometimes the video makes up an entire step or tip:

But I also embed videos as a way for people to learn more about something from the post:

Either way, these embeds get my videos in front of more people.

And not just random people.

I’m showing my videos to people that are SUPER likely to subscribe to my channel.

15. End Videos With a Strong CTA

When someone get to the end of your video, they think:

“What’s next?”

And unless you give them something to do, they’re going to click over to another video from another channel.

So tell them to subscribe to your channel.

And don’t be afraid to tell people exactly what to do.

For example, here’s how I end all of my videos:

I literally tell people to click on the subscribe button below the video.

That way, there’s no guesswork or thinking involved.

And that’s one of the main reasons that so many people subscribe right after watching one of my videos:

16. Promote Your Channel In Ebooks, Webinars, Presentations and Lead Magnets

The next time you create ANY piece of content, ask yourself:

“How can I funnel people from this content to my channel?”

For example, I include a link to my channel in every lead magnet:

I even promote my channel in podcast interviews:

17. Optimize Your Channel Page

When someone lands on your channel page, two things can happen:

They leave right away

They watch more of your videos and subscribe

And I can tell you from experience that an optimized channel page can increase your subscribers by 2-5x.

For example, my channel used to look super unprofessional:

Needless to say, VERY few people that landed on my page decided to subscribe.

That’s when I decided to put more time and effort into my channel page.

Specifically, I hired a pro designer to make my Channel Art:

And I organized my videos so that my best stuff appeared at the top:

That said:

There’s no “perfect” way to organize your Channel Page.

But here’s a template that I notice a lot of top YouTubers use:

Bonus #1: The “Social Media Preview”

I used to share my videos on social media like this:

And my posts got BURIED.

Why?

Because Facebook, LinkedIn and other social media sites want to keep people on their platform.

Which means they don’t like posts that send people to YouTube.

Well, I recently discovered a way around this problem:

The “Social Media Preview”.

And this simple strategy has helped me get INSANE views on social media:

In fact, one of my recent Social Media Previews got over 30k views on LinkedIn:

Here’s how to do it:

First, grab a 30-90 second clip from your YouTube video.

This clip should be a single technique, idea or point.

Next, upload that clip as native content.

This is key.

Like I mentioned earlier, social media sites want to promote native content on their platform.

And there’s data to back this up.

Native video Facebook posts get 10x more views than posts that linked to YouTube.

Finally, include a link to your video as the first comment on the post.

That way, if someone wants to see more, they can easily head over to the full video on YouTube.

And you’re set.

Bonus #2: Include a Subscribe Link in Your Channel Art

You probably know that you can link to external sites in your Channel Art:

But what you may not know is that you can sneak in an extra subscribe button there.

Here’s an example:

All you need to do is create a YouTube subscribe link:

Then, add that link as one of your Channel Art links:

Make sure to give your link a compelling title:

And when someone clicks on that link, they’ll see this high-converting prompt:

Nice.

Now It’s Your Turn

And now I’d like to hear from you:

Which strategy from today’s post are you excited to try first?

Or maybe you have a question about something you read.

Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below right now.

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energyphotos-blog1 · 6 years

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New Post has been published on http://twoarticles.com/17-ways-to-get-more-youtube-subscribers-2018/

17 Ways to Get More YouTube Subscribers (2018)

In this post you’re going to learn how to get more YouTube subscribers in 2018.

In fact:

These are the exact strategies I used to grow my channel from zero to 165,900 subscribers.

And today I’m going to show you how I did it…

…and how you can do the same thing.

1. Use “Power Playlists”

“Power Playlists” are like regular playlists… but better.

Here’s exactly how they work:

You see, most playlists are organized by topic.

But Power Playlists are different.

Instead of topics, Power Playlists are organized by outcomes.

Here’s an example from my channel:

As you can see, the title of that playlist is an outcome:

Which makes people MUCH more likely to watch my playlist… and subscribe.

And that leads us to…

2. Publish LONG Videos (10+ Minutes)

Yup, this goes against conventional wisdom.

But stay with me.

I recently did the largest YouTube ranking factors study ever.

And we found something surprising:

Longer videos rank better in YouTube.

For example:

A few months ago I published this video.

As you can see, my video is almost 14 minutes long:

And that’s one of the main reasons that it ranks #1 in YouTube for the keyword: “backlinks”:

3. Promote Videos In Your End Screen

Here’s the deal:

The more of your videos someone watches, the more likely they are to subscribe.

The question is:

How do you get people to watch 2, 5 or even 10 of your videos?

Promote another video in your End Screen.

Here’s an example from my channel:

This simple “Next Video” has led to TONS of bonus views and subscribers:

Here’s how you can do the same thing:

First, include 10 seconds of time at the end of your videos specifically for your End Screen.

Here’s what mine looks like:

Then, use YouTube’s End Screen editor to add a link to a related video:

That’s all there is to it 🙂

4. Branding Watermark = Subscribe Button

This is the ultimate YouTube subscriber hack.

You probably know that you can add a Branding Watermark to your videos.

This watermark lets viewers subscribe to your channel inside of your video.

Unfortunately, most Branding Watermarks are completely ignored.

For example…

Last year I added this watermark to all of my videos:

And it did absolutely nothing.

So I decided to try something new.

Instead of a watermark that looked cool…

…I used one that looked like a normal YouTube subscribe button.

And it worked!

My new watermark generated 70% more subscribers than my old one.

Pretty cool.

5. Focus On Quality… Not Quantity

When I first started my YouTube channel, I read the same advice over and over again:

“If you want to grow your channel, you need to upload videos on a regular basis”

As it turns out, this is HORRIBLE advice.

I’ll explain.

When I first started my channel I published videos on a consistent schedule…

…but no one watched them.

And the few people that watched my videos didn’t even bother to subscribe.

It was REALLY frustrating.

So I decided to change things up.

Instead of quantity, I decided to focus 100% on quality.

And this “quality over quantity” approach worked like magic.

Flash forward to today and my channel generates over 200k views per month from only 24 total videos:

And because I pour my heart and soul into every video, 7k people subscribe to my channel every month:

6. Reply To EVERY Comment

This is one of the EASIEST ways to get more subscribers.

In fact, YouTube’s internal data has found a clear correlation between replying to comments and subscribers:

Why does this help?

Well, most YouTubers never reply to comments.

Which means you instantly stand out when you do.

That’s why I do my best to reply to as many comments as I can.

(Especially right after a new video comes out)

7. Write a Compelling Channel Description

Your YouTube Channel Description is HUGE.

Sadly, most Channel Descriptions look like this:

Imagine that you’re considering subscribing to that channel.

Is that description going to make someone lunge for the subscribe button?

Probably not.

Contrast that weak description with this one:

This about page works because it:

Tells you what the channel is all about

Gives you important information on the channel (like the upload schedule)

Includes a strong call to action to subscribe

Here’s a template to help you write your own Channel Description:

Pro Tip: Sprinkle in a handful of keywords in your description. This can help your channel rank better in YouTube search.

For example, I sprinkled in a few different keywords that people searching for my content would use…

…like “SEO”, “link building” and “content marketing”.

8. Funnel People to “Subscriber Magnets”

This is working GREAT for me right now.

Here’s the step-by-step process:

First, head over to your YouTube Analytics.

And click “Subscribers” → “YouTube Watch Page”.

Next, identify the video that brought you the most subs last month:

(This video is your “Subscriber Magnet”)

In my case, this ONE Subscriber Magnet from my channel brings in as many subscribers as 13 other videos from my channel… combined.

Why is this important?

Your Subscriber Magnet video is PROVEN to generate subscribers.

And if you can get these video in front of more people, you’ll get more subscribers

Here are 3 ways to get more eyeballs on your Subscriber Magnet.

First, feature that video in your End Screen.

Second, make a playlist that starts off with that video:

Finally, promote that video in a card:

You can even make your Subscriber Magnet your channel trailer.

For example, Evan Carmichael uses his high-converting Steve Jobs video as his trailer:

That way, Evan’s high-converting video gets in front of everyone that visits his channel page

9. Use an Awesome Channel Icon

Your Channel Icon shows up EVERYWHERE on YouTube.

That’s why it’s really important to use the right one.

So if you’re a personal brand, use a high-res headshot:

If you’re a company channel, use a version of your logo designed for YouTube.

For example, ESPN rounded their logo so it works perfectly as a Channel Icon:

10. Create a Channel Tagline

Let’s face it:

Most YouTube channels do NOTHING to stand out.

And hey, I’m not judging.

In the early days of my channel I completely ignored my channel’s positioning.

And it was one of the main reasons that I struggled.

Once I started to strategically position my channel, my views and subscribers shot up like a rocketship.

Fortunately, you don’t need an MBA to position and brand your channel.

In fact, all you need to do is create a simple tagline.

Here’s the 3-step process:

First, identify ONE thing that makes your channel unique or different.

Maybe you’re a busy mom that can deadlift 500 pounds.

Maybe your channel teaches software companies how to grow their blog.

The exact “thing” doesn’t matter.

As long as it’s different than the other channels in your niche, you’re set.

For example:

My videos teach people marketing strategies they can use to grow their business.

But if I made my tagline “I teach marketing strategies” or “I help you grow your business”, I’d blend in with thousands of other channels on YouTube.

So I decided to focus on the ONE thing that my channel focuses on:

Higher rankings and more traffic.

Second, put that tagline in big font on your Channel Art.

Here’s mine:

Finally, say your tagline in your Channel Trailer.

11. Heart Awesome Comments

A while back YouTube launched “Creator Hearts”.

Creator Hearts make it easy to highlight awesome comments from your community:

Now for the interesting part…

When you heart a comment, that person gets a notification:

And according to YouTube’s own data:

That’s right:

Heart notifications get 300% more clicks than average.

So whenever someone leaves a solid comment, hook them up with a heart:

As you just saw, this will bring them back to your video… and make them VERY likely to subscribe.

12. Make a Killer Channel Trailer

Here are 3 tactics for making a channel trailer that converts:

Kick things off with your tagline

Start your trailer off with your channel’s tagline.

(Don’t have a tagline. Check out technique #10 from this post)

For example, I say my tagline (“Higher Rankings and More Traffic”) within the first 5 seconds of my trailer:

Stick to 60 seconds (or less)

YouTube themselves say that shorter trailers convert best:

That’s why I made my trailer about a minute long:

Show off your best stuff

Your trailer is a GREAT opportunity to promote your best content.

That’s why the middle of your trailer should be a 20-30 second highlight reel.

For example, my trailer includes LOTS of clips from my other videos:

That way, viewers can quickly get a feel for the type of content that I publish.

13. Create Videos That CRUSH Watch Time

Yup, Watch Time is a massively important YouTube ranking factor.

And not just for YouTube SEO.

Videos with high Watch Time numbers get promoted more often on the YouTube homepage:

And in the Suggested Video sidebar:

That’s why YouTube states that:

Question is:

How do you maximize Watch Time?

Use lots of Pattern Interrupts.

Definition

An event that changes a person’s thought patterns.

Pattern Interrupts make your videos more dynamic…

…which keeps people watching.

That’s why I use TONS of Pattern Interrupts in every video.

Including graphics:

Jump cuts:

And corny jokes:

Remember:

Pattern Interrupts don’t need to be anything fancy.

For example, check out this video from Safiya Nygaard:

Safiya uses lots of super simple Pattern Interrupts (like camera angle changes and simple graphics) to keep things fresh.

14. Embed YouTube Videos In Blog Posts

Your blog is a HUGE untapped source of views and subscribers.

Why?

Well, if someone’s reading your text content, they clearly like your stuff.

Which means they’re primed to subscribe.

That’s why I embed lots of videos in my blog posts.

Sometimes the video makes up an entire step or tip:

But I also embed videos as a way for people to learn more about something from the post:

Either way, these embeds get my videos in front of more people.

And not just random people.

I’m showing my videos to people that are SUPER likely to subscribe to my channel.

15. End Videos With a Strong CTA

When someone get to the end of your video, they think:

“What’s next?”

And unless you give them something to do, they’re going to click over to another video from another channel.

So tell them to subscribe to your channel.

And don’t be afraid to tell people exactly what to do.

For example, here’s how I end all of my videos:

I literally tell people to click on the subscribe button below the video.

That way, there’s no guesswork or thinking involved.

And that’s one of the main reasons that so many people subscribe right after watching one of my videos:

16. Promote Your Channel In Ebooks, Webinars, Presentations and Lead Magnets

The next time you create ANY piece of content, ask yourself:

“How can I funnel people from this content to my channel?”

For example, I include a link to my channel in every lead magnet:

I even promote my channel in podcast interviews:

17. Optimize Your Channel Page

When someone lands on your channel page, two things can happen:

They leave right away

They watch more of your videos and subscribe

And I can tell you from experience that an optimized channel page can increase your subscribers by 2-5x.

For example, my channel used to look super unprofessional:

Needless to say, VERY few people that landed on my page decided to subscribe.

That’s when I decided to put more time and effort into my channel page.

Specifically, I hired a pro designer to make my Channel Art:

And I organized my videos so that my best stuff appeared at the top:

That said:

There’s no “perfect” way to organize your Channel Page.

But here’s a template that I notice a lot of top YouTubers use:

Bonus #1: The “Social Media Preview”

I used to share my videos on social media like this:

And my posts got BURIED.

Why?

Because Facebook, LinkedIn and other social media sites want to keep people on their platform.

Which means they don’t like posts that send people to YouTube.

Well, I recently discovered a way around this problem:

The “Social Media Preview”.

And this simple strategy has helped me get INSANE views on social media:

In fact, one of my recent Social Media Previews got over 30k views on LinkedIn:

Here’s how to do it:

First, grab a 30-90 second clip from your YouTube video.

This clip should be a single technique, idea or point.

Next, upload that clip as native content.

This is key.

Like I mentioned earlier, social media sites want to promote native content on their platform.

And there’s data to back this up.

Native video Facebook posts get 10x more views than posts that linked to YouTube.

Finally, include a link to your video as the first comment on the post.

That way, if someone wants to see more, they can easily head over to the full video on YouTube.

And you’re set.

Bonus #2: Include a Subscribe Link in Your Channel Art

You probably know that you can link to external sites in your Channel Art:

But what you may not know is that you can sneak in an extra subscribe button there.

Here’s an example:

All you need to do is create a YouTube subscribe link:

Then, add that link as one of your Channel Art links:

Make sure to give your link a compelling title:

And when someone clicks on that link, they’ll see this high-converting prompt:

Nice.

Now It’s Your Turn

And now I’d like to hear from you:

Which strategy from today’s post are you excited to try first?

Or maybe you have a question about something you read.

Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below right now.

This article is copyright ezinearticles on website http://www.twoarticles.com 2018

#MORE

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angietheinsanecatreviews · 6 years

Text

SarasBeautyCorner VS NerdECrafter

TL;DR I side with SaltECrafter and Sara’s argument falls flat because of several different factors.

Read more if you’d like to know how I came to my verdict. Also, I’m sorry that I can’t ever not make a massive wall of text when I review things lol.

*edit*

Hey Hi :D

I made a video about this on my youtube Channel Check it out if you’d like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQbg8KpQbOk&t The SaltE Debacle

I feel very compelled to write this after watching Sara’s video as a response to Jackie’s videos. At the moment I’m actually in the midst of writing a paper on moral justice and legal justice. Why I think they should co-exist within each other.

However, I have to take a break from this paper to make a rather long-winded lengthy comment/review of this video. I don’t want to dismiss either persons’ feelings as they are justified in this case. I merely want to point out where they might be mistaken and give an overall review of how I think both sides might not be handling it in the best manner.

I will be dissecting both Sara’s responses to Jackie’s videos and like-wise Jackie’s responses to Sara’s allegations/Jackie’s allegations towards Sara etc.

I’m going to try to do this in an unbiased matter as I always want to see both sides of someone’s story before I make the final verdict.

Not to act like I’m the Youtube courtroom or something (That’s just silly).

(Source links will be placed where appropriate)

First, let’s go into a quick synopsis of what has happened for anyone just taking this in at first glance.

Jackie (AKA NerdECrafter or in this case SaltECrafter) took it upon her self to make a review solely based on satire and the fact that as a teacher she calls bull on this fooling any sane, university trained educator. She was reacting to SaraBeautyCorner’s video on 3 back to school DIYs. She took clips from Sara’s video and inserted it into her video criticizing these “hacks”.

Sara than holds Jackie’s video because she believes that it is in violation of copyright/fair use. Also holding onto the monetized earnings of said video.

Jackie “retaliates” by posting a video claiming that Sara is holding her video hostage because she believes it infringes on her content and therefore is in violation of copyright/fair use. Jackie states it’s not in violation because it’s commentary based on Sara’s DIY video and that Sara is claiming she COMPLETELY Uploaded her entire video to her channel. She claims that Sara is being “unfair”.

Sara responds that she’s not being unfair that Jackie took 30% of her content and reuploaded it without her permission and that violates the fair use/copyright claim.

Now that we’re caught up on that; let’s pick one side to dissect. Let’s pick Sara side first.

Sara claims Jackie took around 30 percent of her 21:02 video(upon further research this is in fact allowed) . She states in her video that she took 6 min. 30 sec. of her content that she didn’t give permission for Jackie to take to use in her react video. She takes clips from Jackie’s video about why she doesn’t believe she’s in violation of copyright/fair use.

Sara dissects Jackie’s video in such a way that it makes Jackie seem childish and rude. Sara believes that for Jackie to respond the way she did towards her retaliation in holding on to Jackie’s content and money. Stating that she got attacked by Jackie’s fans. Such as threats, insults, and other negative comments on something her boyfriend and her worked on for weeks than she changes it to months. She states she’s not hurt about Jackie’s commentary but rather that she took SOO much of her video without asking. That she could have taken a lot less to make her point more coherent. She states that Jackie’s video is entirely illegal and asked Jackie to take it down or use fewer clips from her DIY.

Jackie denied her request as she believes that her satire and commentary meets the fair use qualifications.

Sara quotes the four factors of fair use

1. Purpose and character of the use, commercial or educational non-profit

2. Nature of the copyrighted work

3. The amount used

4. The effect of the use on the potential market

So becoming unbiased to Sara’s outcries I decided to look into her claims as to why it’s infringing on her “creative work”.

So let's get into it:

Source

First, the purpose and character of the content

Did Jackie’s commentary and satire transform/add a new expression or meaning to Sara’s content?

I believe that it did. Jackie continually makes comments, reacts, and applies satire to Sara’s DIY/hacks. She explains from a professional educators point of view that if any of these “hacks” were applied in the classroom to smuggle or otherwise break the rules. That they would be made a fool. That in a way the kids/students’ parents who fork out money for supplies that are often very expensive are disrespected because their children are ruining these supplies that they spent hard earned money on to assist their studies.

That a large amount of sugar will distract the students from learning correctly.

Did Jackie add value to the original by creating new information, new aesthetics, new insights, and understandings?

I believe that Jackie did.

The pieces of information she provided:

That those children might not gain proper education because they’re following these hacks instead of studying.

That parents are essentially wasting their money on school supplies because their child will only destroy them.

I’m going to interject that from my experience in customer service that children that watch youtube DIYs/crafting and Vlogging are very impressionable. They are often between 5 and 8 and that they idolize the people who make the content. My experience once was from work when a 6-year-old pretended she was vlogging and talking to her viewers as her mom said: “She’s going through a youtube phase.” The second is my niece and nephews like to emulate their favorite youtube gamers.

I don’t believe that new aesthetics were applied except maybe if we apply it to the criticism of Sara’s video then yes. I believe this might be a weak argument.

Jackie gave new insights on how her fellow co-workers and parents might feel if they got an evaluation stating that their child is destroying their supplies to break the no food rule.

I believe Jackie’s point of view gave new understandings as to why this might be destructive to a students education.

The first rule has been followed to a point. Of course, as the article points out this is subjective. However, I believe by using the fair use guidelines she followed the first rule.

Rich Stim gives an example that I’m going to cite from his blog which I believe both content creators are taking from:

Rich Stim states: “In a parody, for example, the parodist transforms the original by holding it up to ridicule. At the same time, a work does not become a parody simply because the author models characters after those found in a famous work. Purposes such as scholarship, research, or education may also qualify as transformative uses because the work is the subject of review or commentary.”

Jackie did ridicule it ( sometimes harsher than maybe she should have). She also didn’t take on the exact likeness of the characters only their actions with an undertone of mocking the actions of the characters.

Second, the nature of the works:

Sara’s content is a parody of Jackie’s profession and Jackie’s video is a parody of Sara’s content. Though Sara’s video wasn’t directly pointed at Jackie nor was she bullying Jackie when she was portraying teachers as dense and aloof.

Likewise, Jackie was not bullying Sara. She was only showcasing as to why she thought these “hacks” were pointless.

So the nature of these two works is both informative.

Sara the student- Teachers seem to be mean and don’t understand the pains of hunger and needing that sugar fix.

Jackie the teacher- Students should focus on their studies not their stomachs if it becomes a distraction when there are healthy alternatives.

Looking at this subjectively and wanting to point out neither of their feelings are wrong I can understand why Sara might have felt attacked however the nature of Jackie’s commentary is not as nefarious as Sara likes to point out quite a lot in her response video.

Third, the amount and substantiality of the Portion Taken

According to Rich the less of the content, you take the better that your case may be excused from a copyright strike but quite on the contrary as this subject is strictly a parody

Rich states: “This rule—less is more—is not necessarily true in parody cases. A parodist is permitted to borrow quite a bit, even the heart of the original work, in order to conjure up the original work. That’s because, as the Supreme Court has acknowledged, “the heart is also what most readily conjures up the [original] for parody, and it is the heart at which parody takes aim.” (Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994).)”

So, in this case, Sara’s argument is somewhat invalid in this rule. Jackie did, in fact, follow this guideline. Because Jackie’s video is as she states “Parody and commentary”.

And my review of Jackie’s video is that it is satirical commentary.

Finally, the effect on the potential market.

Did Jackie’s satirical commentary damage Sara’s potential earnings?

I’m looking at Sara’s social blade and no it did not. She has 9mil subscribers and counting.

This argument is also invalid.

30% is such a small percentage of the video that it would barely affect any of her income if at all.

So reading Rich Stims article there’s also more information I’d like to cover in this review. He points out of course that my review will contradict itself or conflict with the rules stated above but that I have to make subjective judgments.

My judgment in Sara using the four factors of fair use to support her complaint overruled. Because Jackie did, in fact, follow the four rules as her video is a parody if not considered constructive criticism in the form of her commentary.

Jackie never claimed even by monetizing it that she owned Sara’s entire video content. She only used so very little of Sara’s content.

I think in order for Jackie to ever avoid this kind of backlash she should ask permission even if she thinks she shouldn’t have to. Jackie is neither above other content creators or below them.

I also think Sara needs to step off of her high horse a little and stop acting like her content is the bee's knees of the crafting world. It’s not. Aesthetically pleasing if high saturation and dorky faces are your aesthetic.

I definitely think Rich Stims Measuring Fair Use is excellent for using in arguments but you have to step outside your own critiques of Jackie’s work and look into your own. Sara, you are not above being criticized by other content creators and as I watched your response video I felt like you had a higher than thou attitude towards Jackie. That you thought her content was lazy and poorly executed.

Your response video was very redundant. You kept mentioning how you’re not a saint no youtuber is a saint. That you think that it’s extremely lazy that content creators take portions from other creators to make viable reviews on their videos.

You said that it's completely irrelevant to you that Jackie made commentary but that she took too much footage when she took the allotted percentage.

You continuously make contradictory arguments toward Jackie. That Jackie said you were punishing her but that you weren’t. In the beginning, you mentioned that you had three options. Hold her video to ensure that she never does that again. That is precisely what a punishment does.

That you’re not annoyed that she made a review but that she took too much of your footage which is a complaint and in your video, you’re clearly irritated.

You both say that 20% is allowed you’re both mistaken it’s 30%

For Jackie, if you would like my constructive criticism:

It’s dangerous out there take this

I feel Jackie was entirely within the guidelines of fair use upon the evidence received and that Sara’s response falls flat.

My verdict remains the same from my comment on Sara’s Response video. That I believe that Sara might be a little bitter from Jackie’s satirical commentary.

I feel if this would be taken to court that it would probably be dismissed if fair use is the only thing you have. If Sara thinks she can bring in the other factors

Like:

Intellectual Property and Creative Commons

IP doesn’t apply here because Sara’s video doesn’t benefit society it is in my point of view strictly for entertainment purposes.

The only thing in Sara’s video that was CC was the music

I was going to dissect Jackie’s video but as both videos are so closely intertwined I feel as though that would just be beating a dead horse.

The only advice I would give SaltECrafter is to ask and if they don’t give a butthurt response and give the green light you’re good to go.

#tl;dr warning #Case of SaraBeautyCorner v #nerdecrafter #review #review blogs #angietheinsanecatreviews #crafts #youtube #youtubers #youtuber #saltecrafter #jackie #sarabeautycorner #sara #lengthy #very law and order-y #Sorry to talk your ear off

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pawukicu-blog · 6 years

Text

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Seymour Hersh: "RussiaGate Is A CIA-Planted Lie, Revenge Against Trump" | Zero Hedge

http://uniteordiemedia.com/seymour-hersh-russiagate-is-a-cia-planted-lie-revenge-against-trump-zero-hedge/ http://img.youtube.com/vi/gYzB96_EK7s/0.jpg Seymour Hersh: "RussiaGate Is A CIA-Planted Lie, Revenge Against Trump" | Zero Hedge Submitted by Investigative historian Eric Zuesse is the author, most recently, of They’re Not Even Close: The Democratic vs. Republican Economic Records, 1910-2010, and of CHRIST’S VENTRILOQUISTS: The Event that Created Christianity. During the latter portion of a phone-call by investigative...

Submitted by Investigative historian Eric Zuesse is the author, most recently, of They’re Not Even Close: The Democratic vs. Republican Economic Records, 1910-2010, and of CHRIST’S VENTRILOQUISTS: The Event that Created Christianity.

During the latter portion of a phone-call by investigative journalist, Seymour Hersh, Hersh has now presented “a narrative [from his investigation] of how that whole fucking thing began,” including who actually is behind the ‘RussiaGate’ lies, and why they are spreading these lies.

In a youtube video upload-dated August 1st, he reveals from his inside FBI and Washington DC Police Department sources — now, long before the Justice Department’s Special Counsel Robert Mueller will be presenting his official ‘findings’ to the nation — that the charges that Russia had anything to do with the leaks from the DNC and Hillary Clinton’s campaign to Wikileaks, that those charges spread by the press, were a CIA-planted lie, and that what Wikileaks had gotten was only leaks (including at least from the murdered DNC-staffer Seth Rich), and were not from any outsider (including ’the Russians’), but that Rich didn’t get killed for that, but was instead shot in the back during a brutal robbery, which occurred in the high-crime DC neighborhood where he lived. Here is the video…

youtube

… and here is the transcript :

About the kid, I’ll tell you what I know. What I know comes off an FBI report. Don’t ask me how. You can figure it out, I’ve been around a long time. The kid, just, I don’t think he was murdered, I, I don’t think he was murdered because of what he knew. The kids a nice boy, 27, he was not IT expert, but he learned stuff. He was a data programmer, but he learned stuff. And so he’s living on one street, someone, in my eyes,- he’s living in a ruff neighborhood and in the exact where he’d been living, as I’m sure you know, there have been about 8 or 9 or 10 violent, uh not robberies, most of them with somebody brandishing a gun and it’s the kids hands, I’m telling you look, I’m sure you know what, his hands are marked up, the cops concluded he fought off the people, tried to run they shot him twice in the back with a 22 small caliper. And then, they, the kids that did it ran, they got scared, they didn’t take his wallet.

Ok. So what the cops do is this: And this is where nobody knows, what I’m telling you, and maybe you know something about it. When you have a death like that DC cops, if you’re dead, you don’t just generally go yep I know (unintelligible) you have to get in to the kids apartment and see what you can find. If he’s dead you don’t need a warrant but most cops get a warrant because they don’t know if they’ve guys has, has a, a roommate. You need a warrant. So they get a warrant. I’m just telling you, there is such a thing. They go in the house and they can’t do much with this computer. It’s (unintelligible) the cops don’t know much about it. So the DC cops they have a cyber unit in DC and they’re more sophisticated. They come and look at it. The idea is maybe he’s a series of exchanges with somebody who says I’m going to kill you motherfucker over a girl or… and they can’t get in. The cyber guys do a little better but they can’t make sense of it so they call the, they call the FBI cyber unit, the DC unit.

The Washington field office is a hot shit unit. The guy running the Washington field office he’s like, he’s like, you know, he’s like a three star at an army base he’s already looking for four, you know what I mean? He’s gonna go in a top job. There’s a cyber unit there that’s excellent, given. What you get in a warrant is, the public information you get in a warrant doesn’t include, uh, it does not include the affidavit underlying what, why you are you going in, what the reasons are that.. That’s almost never available, um, I, I can tell you that the existence of a warrant is a public document 99% of the time. So, um, on the same warrant, they call in the feds. The feds get through, and this is what they find. This is according to the FBI report. What they find is he makes cont- first of all this is what you have to know, you have to know some basic facts, one of the basic factors, in that there’s no DNC or Podesta emails that exist beyond May 22nd. May 21st, May 22nd is the last email from either one of those groups. And so what the reports says is that sometime in late spring, we’re talking June you know summers in June 21st, late spring would be after, I presume, I don’t know, I’d just say late spring, early summer and he makes contact with Wikileaks. That’s in his computer and he makes contact.

Now, I have to be careful because I, I’ve know, I, met Julian 10 or 12 years (ago?) I stay the fuck away from people like that, you know. He’s invited me, and when I’m in London I always get a message “Come see me at the Ecuadorian” but I say fuck no I’m not going there I’ve got enough trouble without getting photographed. And he’s under total surveillance by everybody but anyways. So, they found what he’d done. He had submitted a series of documents, of emails. Some juicy emails from the DNC, and you know, by the way all this shit about the DNC, um, you know, whether it was hacked or wasn’t hacked, whatever happened, the democrats themselves wrote this shit, you know what I mean? All I know is that he (Seth) offered a sample, an extensive sample, you know I’m sure dozens of email and said “I want money”. Then later Wikileaks did get the password, he had a Dropbox, a protected Dropbox, which isn’t hard to do, I mean you don’t have to be a wizard IT, you know, he was certainly not a dumb kid. They got access to the Dropbox. He also, and this is also in the FBI report, he also let people know, with whom he was dealing, and I don’t know how he dealt, I’ll tell you about Wikileaks in a second. I don’t know how he dealt with the Wikileaks and the mechanism but he also, the word was passed according to the NSA report, “I’ve also shared this box with a couple of friends so if anything happens to me it’s not going to solve your problem”. Ok. I don’t know what that means.

I don’t know whether you- Anyways, Wikileaks got access, and before he was killed- I can tell you right now Brennan is an asshole. Uh, I’ve known all these people for years. Clapper is sort of a better guy but not rocket scientist, the NSA guy’s a fucking moron, and they don’t- you know the trouble with all of those guys is that the only way they’re going to make it to a board or two and get hired by (?) and get some fat cat contracts is if Hillary stayed in. With Trump they’re gone, they’re done, they’re going to live on their pension, they’re not going to make it. And I gotta tell you guys, they don’t want to live on their pension, they want to be on boards.

I have somebody on the inside, you know I’ve been around a long time, and I write a lot of stuff. I have somebody on the inside who will go and read a file for me. This person is unbelievably accurate and careful, he’s a very high-level guy and he’ll do a favor. You’re just going to have to trust me. I have what they call in my business a long-form journalism, I have a narrative of how that whole fucking thing began, it’s a Brennan operation, it was an American disinformation and fucking the fucking President, at one point when they, they even started telling the press, they were back briefing the press, the head of the NSA was going and telling the press, fucking cock-sucker Rogers, was telling the press that we even know who in the GRU, the Russian Military Intelligence Service, who leaked it. I mean all bullshit. They were telling the studp- I worked at the New York Times for fucking years, and the trouble with the fucking New York Times is they have smart guys, but they’re totally beholden on sources. If the president or the head of the (???) to actually believe it. I was actually hired at the time to write, to go after the war in Vietnam War in 72 because they were just locked in. So that’s what the Times did. These guys run the fucking Times, and Trump’s not wrong. But I mean I wish he would calm down and had a better a better press secretary, I mean you don’t have to be so. Trump’s not wrong to think they all fucking lie about him.

The media-coverage of this matter is focusing on allegations that Seth Rich was murdered in order to silence him. All such media-coverage ignores much of what Hersh said on the phone (where Hersh makes clear that Rich was, indeed, murdered in a regular robbery), and therefore should be viewed as an example of what the Washington Post and others in the mainstream press call ‘fake news’, but which actually applies to themselves, on both the left and right, above all.

The purpose of those distorting ‘news’ stories might be a desire, on the part of both the Democratic Party aristocrats and the Republican Party aristocrats, to distract the public’s attention away from the far deeper understanding that drives the “narrative” that Hersh, in that clip, is describing: rot by the U.S. aristocracy, which controls both of America’s political Parties, to deceive the American public. The objective is to protect the aristocracy. That’s not publishable; it is American samizdat. Corruption rules America. The public do not. This fact is what Hersh is describing in his “narrative.”

Read More: www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-08-02/seymour-hersh-‘russiagate’-cia-planted-lie-revenge-against-trump

#Justice Department Special Council #Robert Mueller #Russiagate #Seth Rich

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