#and idk how I feel about it yet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

look-at-the-stars-tonight · 2 years

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Anyone else feel like they’re repeating their life over and over again but just in different settings or is that just me

#Im teaching again and it’s surreal #cause. i did not expect to teach I expected to like. work in some big r&d lab #and idk how I feel about it yet #like yes I enjoy it but I’m one of those assholes who has to over analyze every possible life path #everything everywhere all at once vibes #the more things change the more they stay the same iggg #I just caught myself thinking of how to fix my lesson plan earlier and. that’s def not something I expected to think about ever again #it’s cool and all but I’m not designing revolutionary life saving technology and maybe that would be cooler #or maybe my mother is right and I’m just incapable of happiness no matter where I am or what I’m doing #there are days where I’ll just walk around staring at all the photography on the walls and the antiques decorating the walls #and it’s a very interesting anachronistic combination just because of the nature of the work #past and future superimposed on top of each other #and I’ll be like holy shit I’m HERE #this is EXACTLY what I wanted for like. over a decade.#and I’ll feel grateful #but also. things aren’t perfect there are SO MANY problems #and despite how well meaning people are and how much they care about the work #that’s not gonna change cause there is NEVER going to be enough money #but sometimes it’s hard to not see just the problems #and people complain SO MUCH about everything and it’s hard to not let that negativity overwhelm you #but also. the whole reason they complain is because they love this place and they want to make it better and focusing on just the good #won’t make things any better cause that’s not how it works #and the older more experienced folks keep saying that we’re much much more likely to end up killing someone #and that was fine in abstract. but it’s fucking terrifying the closer you get #i don’t wanna kill people #and that’s why I’m here!! to keep them safe but god there’s literally only so much I can do #sighh #I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop and I wish I wasn’t #if u read this far thank u for listening to me ramble #sometimes I have far too much time to Think

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diaries-of-phrog · 1 year

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[ for ava ]

do you remember the summer? / how everything felt so young & clear / despite the yellowed grass / where the evergreen trees should stand out from the snow / now all i want is to go back / but the trees still stand out from the snow / & we’re suffocating / even above our heads / the air isn’t fresh anymore / it’s thick with worry & our river has competition / for the power to kill a person / who isn’t trying to stay alive

do you remember / how you asked me to drive with you? / you reminded me that i was alive / & you were just alive / only you were so full of life / it scared me & sometimes / it is easier to feel dead / than to let someone tell you their secrets / & feel like it should mean anything at all / you made me feel important even though i felt so small / that the pressure of being curled up inside myself / was enough to detonate a bomb

#poetry #poets on tumblr #diaries-of-phrog #im trying something new here #and idk how i feel about it yet

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sunlit-mess · 1 month

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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.

#messyr #doodle #vent art #idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately #overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew #ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk #Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same #well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd #abuse mention

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raycatzdraws · 4 months

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ribbonwood

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu hyrule #(also zelda 1!!! but idk how people would feel about me tagging it since I used Jojo's design?)#(ya'll can always tag my gen loz art as LU (or as any linkverse honestly if it inspires you to think about your favs) and vice versa)#(I want to inspire you to think and create! If you see my gen loz art and want to add that to your headcanons or it changes how you think??#take it! play with it! invite me to play as well haha!)#(not ocs but like- gen stuff??? ye go for it)#mom walked in and looked at the comic I was working on #so I started rambling about my plans with it and what my peers are working on and how cool it all is and how I want to have more of that #and she said “what a waste of time”#so I got loosey goosey with it :\#nice exercise to just draw w/o doing guides or being careful #did this in like under 15 minutes! >:D #but anyways #I haven't slept yet so gn!#.. he's holding stuff in the wrong hands!!!! a #look up ribbonwood / redshanks trees! If Hyrule was a tree- this is it #I imagine zelda 1&2's landscape to be california chaparral!!! I'm really passionate about it!!!!!#check out the california chaparral institute's website -> chaparral -> chaparral types #it's Hyrule's Hyrule!

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mumbledramblings · 6 months

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i had a vision from god the other night

anyway i love how some of wolfwood's first character-establishing scenes in both animes is him trying to scam people

#trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun 98 #tri98 #trigun fanart #nicholas d wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #mid draws #idk if anyone has done this yet #had a full on eureka moment earlier about how wolfwood's cover for being a gung-ho gun isn't being a priest #it's being a con artist pretending to be a priest #like it is SO obvious he isn't a real priest/undertaker that people just immediately think “oh this guy is just a con artist”#and they don't think any further #so the reveal of “oh hey i'm actually part of an anti-human terrorist organization (though not necessarily willingly)” is an actual surpris #because you think he's just a con man who's really bad at his job #i feel like the last person to come to this conclusion 😶#genuine character analysis? in MY memes? it's more likely than you think

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nonebinary-leftbeef · 16 days

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Twilight zone ass episode, if I’m to be honest. No explanation, no lasting consequences. Just “hey wouldn’t it be fucked up if this happened?” And you know what? It would be pretty fucked up.

#this is not a critique btw just an observation #idk how I feel about it just yet #doctor who #73 yards

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johnnysimmer · 6 months

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did a little something something to this base game hair

#wip #the sims 4 #ts4 #s4cc #sims 4 cc #idk how i feel about it yet #still working on it but the vision is there

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gayspock · 1 year

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i love it when a tv show has lows that are so low you're so ashamed to ever show it to anyone ever but then highs that melt your brain a bit, like, "good fucking god, this is genuinely such an astounding piece of craftmanship... my perception of the medium, and perhaps of myself, has been challenged/changed in 40 minutes" but you cant even express that to ppl without feeling like youre fucking deranged bc my god the lows .....

#Egg.txt #sorry i saw gar watched Hush recently and like #my god thats such a good episode of television . like sincerely fucking solid. like damn man.#and theres other eps of buffy i'd rank among that i.e a certain s5 episode that just still gives me chills to think about #but this also goes for trek + doctor who + farscape + and any and every lame little campy show out there #that just needs to fuck your head wide open sometimes #maybe that why i have enjoyed bsg but i havent like fucking Melded with it yet because its highs and its lows are both there but it doesnt #ever touch the extremes of either #i need something so so bad and so so good at once that makes mefeel like im insane #god i might go rewatch some tos soon #but yeah ok abt bsg maybe its alsojust #laccking a sincerity to it sometimes #and not just in how its a darker/grittier #but just in general i feel like .........hm. idk..#let me ponder

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quizzical-is · 7 months

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This show is rotating in my mind eternally it's just so good and like everything I love about scifi.

#scavengers reign #scavengers reign sam #ursula tho #i will write a whole post about her soon #you know the characters are good when i cant pick a favorite #like azi????#amazing #levi???? (crying) also amazing #kamen is a soggy noodle of a man and yet still fascinating #and of course sam is the emotional support cool guy which is why hes always fucking getting stabbed or some shit #im intruiged but inherently untrustful of the new crew #i feel like they are here to show how not to survive on the planet #idk tho #we shall see

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circuitcircus · 1 month

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in defense of kabumisu……..

addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have

listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh

kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?

kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao

he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-

they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"

you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen

mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other

i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)

mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’

(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)

taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.

that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.

+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.

+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:

also here we have him washing his own body

just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason

kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well

he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back

here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):

there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)

kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲

kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant

you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately

also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:

and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more

kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely

haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪

also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters

bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:

#dungeon meshi #kabumisu #kabru of utaya #mithrun #dungeon meshi spoilers #i'd rather be able to enjoy their dynamic without feeling like i have to explain it but i keep seeing the same takes i cant do this anym-#i feel like i advocate for kabumisu so much because i see so many people mischaracterizing kabru to make l4bru work like how they want #by saying he’s obsessed w laios because he thinks he’s hot..but he was curious about his autistic behavior and eventually thought his lack #of malice would make laios the best candidate for becoming dungeon lord to prevent another utaya tragedy. tho eventually he doubts that #not that i care that he's shipped with laius. i just want ppl to see kabru for who he IS bc some still think hes nothing but a shady bicth #i think that's best shown through his dynamic with mithrun (other than his own words of course) so i want ppl to acknowledge it properly #like idk if I can trust popular fan interpretations of the characters or relationships anymore after the shit with toshiro bro 💀💀#not trying to attach kabru’s entire being to mithrun or anything either just..saying #hm i feel like the way i worded all of this will make some ppl mad. not my intention but whoops #anyways has anyone drawn ship art of senshi and mithrun yet? anyone?

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frozen-mars · 1 month

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Tis been awhile, but I return with offerings of ZombieCleo!

#digital art #illustration #hermitcraft #zombiecleo fanart #zombiecleo #hermitcraft zombiecleo #medusacleo #i imagine that medusacleo is their fancy skin #and ZombieCleo is their day to day skin #am i implying she can peel off her skin #and use other people's skin to create fancy schmansi skins?#ZombieCleo says all her craft materials were ethically sourced #people in the studio don't know how to feel about that #life series #life series zombiecleo #idk where all these designs r coming from i dont even watch zombiecleo #and yet #they compell me

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sophfandoms53 · 1 month

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Got some mixed feelings about the Striker is Satan’s son theory circulating around rn LMAO

Also the fact this has all started from a single silhouette of this man is very funny

#like on one hand omg i can see it #but on the other hand we got too many daddy issues in this show #and striker’s connection to his masculinity feels like something he got from an active father around him #i feel like his dad whomever it may be HAD to be around #when you look at striker’s character and how he embodies sm of wrath #i feel like satan would be so proud of him??#which is why part of me doubts if satan IS his dad he’s the source of everything???#bc if he is than that means yet ANOTHER character with daddy issues #and enough pls #bc idk why striker would do all this bc he didn’t get daddy’s approval #things are personal for him ya but idk when they have him say he had everything taken away from him #and you look at his lair #he feels like a regular dude who got screwed over by the system and wants revenge #IDK SO MANY THINGS TO THINK ABOUT #IM ALL OVER THE PLACE #helluva boss #helluva boss striker #striker helluva boss #helluva boss satan #satan helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers

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captain-hen · 2 months

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funniest bit of the episode by far was eddie going "ummm tommy is into guys? yeah sure you are too, buck, but tommy?" man just remembered the Kitchen Scene™ and went yeah that totally tracks

#neethu speaks #911 spoilers #idk how i feel about the episode yet but uhhhh

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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months

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hey michael psspsspss cmere i want to have a talk about your face in this scene, nothing weird, just a little chat

#good omens #michael sheen #ive said before but: these faces feel so ooc and yet soooo right? right is this where aziraphale just lets his very schooled stoic face #absolutely run riot bc hes just succumbed to how he feels about crowley? i think so bc #his face when hes walking away from nina and crowley on the street was just as insane #this man honestly what is his secret #dogshit quality gifs but you get the general idea #gomens... shitpost? idk

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spinjitsuburst · 3 months

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watching secrets of the forbidden spinjitzu while i get some stuff done and i like to think wu's overly harsh vibe at the beginning of the season is him trying to reclaim SOME sense of authority after his ninja literally had to raiSE HIM FROM A CHILD GFDHKJGKJ

#LIKE ITS SO FUNNY HE'S SO OVERLY AGGRESSIVE #i like to think once everything calms down he and cole have a talk about how he's feeling #also it's so fun to see wildbrain experimenting with the animation style it's clear they don't have the ninjago vibes down yet so there's a #lot of them trying things to see what works and it's super fun #ALSO LIKE. HIS FACE WHEN THEY'RE IN THE ROOM WITH THE CHICKEN #HE'S SO AMUSED #idk it's so fucking fun. like when you look at it critically yea there's things to fix BUT IT'S FUN!!! IT'S FUN IF YOU TAKE A STEP BACK #AND LOOK AT IT FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A NEW STUDIO TESTING WHAT THEY CAN DO #AND ALSO WU BEING LIKE. I NEED TO EXERT MY AUTHORITY THE NINJA HAD TO CHANGE MY DIAPER I NEED TO FIX THIS INJUSTICE GHKDFSGHKJFH #idk i love. sotfs like i have. a lot of. critiques about how the plot works esp later #BUT IT'S LIKE. SO SILLY GOOFY #runs around in circles #anyways #ninjago #spinjitsu screams #wu #secrets of the forbidden spinjitzu #lego ninjago

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venompinks · 4 months

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YUNA ⊹ MR. VAMPIRE ❪ 240127 ❫

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