#and i'm just processing things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tinsin · 4 months

Text

But that's your seat.

#sad #vent art #just feeling things right now #tinscrawl #my best friend is flying away #and i'm just processing things #as i put his stuff away

3 notes · View notes

fernsnailz · 7 months

Text

cleaning out the files, sonic sketch edition

#i think the one thing i'll always admire about my art is my lack of consistency lol #my style depends on the emotion or the character or the scene i'm drawing. and i hope seeing how messy my process can be #helps other growing artists out there just get messy with their work. get those feelings out onto a page #fern's sketchbook #sth #not tagging all those characters lol #🦔🦇🤖

2K notes · View notes

sheerakk · 8 months

Text

#was looking for some fics with these two #I imagine this is one of their first interactions and Hunter is already fed up with Darius #but Darius is just trying to get to know the successor of his mentor and check if he's at least a little bit capable of doing his job #he's also a little weirded out by the similarity between these two #basically I imagine Darius gave him a couple of vibe checks that Hunter had failed #and Hunter takes it as questoning his place in the coven #god darius design is so pink and awful #it's so jover uni starts tommorow #it's like the most boring drawing ever but I'm just still in my I have to get better at backgrounds era #and also if I'll draw 100 awful things I get a decent one eventually #it's like inktober but lasts your whole life and devours your soul in the process #no caption just pure tags now I understand those few people who keep reblogging all my tags cuz I give all the fucking context there #there's probably like 10 things I would spot tommorow that would fix the drawing a whole bunch but I just ...don't want to ig #the owl house #sheerak #the golden guard #darius deamonne #hunter toh #toh hunter #hunter deamonne #toh fanart #the owl house fanart #dadrius #not yet but #you guys most fellow toh fanartists moved on and fanart fiona and cake but I keep brainrotting the same stuff over and over #good old toh trashpile

3K notes · View notes

astrhae · 10 months

Text

...maybe it's all part of a great big ineffable plan

#a LOT happened but #its the way the timing of their wings align #(conditional on tumblr loading this gifset right for you akdskdsk)#it's also the way that it's crowley who did the wing thing first #and when he did it the universe was so full of color and stars and fire #because there weren't any sides yet #and when it was later aziraphale who did it #the color is all black and whites because there's sides now #and it was rain and water falling on them #it's just the CONTRAST between the two scenes #but also the constant between them #which is. the two of them. next to each other #anyway i'm not done processing the first scene #how to i process the rest of it #good omens #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #my edits #goodomensedit #tw flashing #ineffable husbands

2K notes · View notes

eyes-of-nine · 1 year

Text

truly what a guy

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent #my art #ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least #adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump #straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur #still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days #tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy #john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane #this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate)#the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy #in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent #.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now #so yeah go listen to malevolent

2K notes · View notes

almea · 1 year

Text

#RWBY #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Bumbleby #rwby spoilers #This feels kind of inappropriate and I'm sorry #But I can't stop thinking about how Blake is the one reason Yang's still standing after she saw the literal worst thing in the world happen #I just felt extremely guilty the entire time I was making this #I'm still Processing everything else #Legitimately do not know if I can rewatch the episode right now without throwing up #otp: with every smile you told me i love you #For my own tagging purposes #It was a mistake to change my tag for them to something so disgustingly sweet

1K notes · View notes

cccat-in-a-meat-sack · 1 month

Text

No because when did anyone who jokes about being a system become a faker? Like I'm sorry but just because we live with a disabling disorder doesn't mean I'm going to be crying 24/7. I'm going to be treating it like I treat the entirety of my life: as a joke.

#because taking things seriously is for losers #no i'm just kidding #we actually have no idea how to process or deal with our emotions and humor is a coping mechanism #traumagenic did #traumagenic system #did alter #did system #actually did #did osdd #endos dni #anti endo

171 notes · View notes

buckttommy · 2 months

Text

christopher sneaking into chimney's room in fight or flight. he's so full of love, that's why his whole attitude in s7 re: dating is so callous and incongruent to who he is. like, this is the kid whose known chimney for all of half a year and decided he wanted sneak away from the adults/his dad to sit at his bedside and keep him company even though he was asleep/unconscious and you're telling ME he doesn't regard his girl friends feelings with the UTMOST care?????? get outta here with that. he really is a mini buck. feeling everything so deeply with absolutely no idea what to do with it all so he just smushes it down and creates different problems that don't need to exist. bless him.

#there's also something to be said about the whole nature vs. nurture of it all and the age old scientific question of #are we born or are we made #and there's something so. world defining. over the fact that christopher has spent so much time with buck he's subconsciously #picked up his worst coping habits. and it truly is a subconscious thing because it's not like buck/eddie are talking to their kid about how #buck used to be a ho (affectionate) so that introduces this other idea of christopher's subconscious processing #both of like. buck's relationships and why those relationships ended #blahblahblah anyway no one fucking cares jack i KNOW trust me i know i'm just talking to myself here but hm! interesting!#tv: 911 #jack.txt #christopher diaz

182 notes · View notes

lunarharp · 5 months

Text

hehe. almost christmas!

#ace attorney tag #narumitsu #partial nudity /#2nd and 3rd things inspired by playing the first game and Uhh... why is phoenix accusing men of being lovers and being certain of it #and just generally containing the core of bisexuality within him #also there's that part i recall in maybe the..3rd game? where he's like Wow.. I'd Fall For Him Too... about that cinnamon swirl looking man #learnt lately that the writers upon learning that ace attorney was very popular with BL people immediately started reading BL #to understand the genre. i think phoenix would also do such Research in college. to Learn About People. About The World.#so now he feels that he has gaydar and is a good Ally etc. But actually maybe...you're also just bi too !#too bad you'll have to get kissed by a criminal to work that out! Hang in there <3 #i reread my fic today !! I'm in the christmas mood now ! Sort of ! ooooh the 7 year gap.. at least we are in the 7 year gap years irl #Somewhere out there they ARE drinking wine romantically gazing at snow on a balcony in germany. thank GOD for that fr #so i shall be drawing things from THAT era next i need to depict men finally kissing NOW !!!!!!#can't do it with orufrey..can't draw cute happy romantic wintry art of them..didn't finish processing my current divorcecore arc era cycle

317 notes · View notes

bunnyhysteria · 17 days

Text

does anyone wanna talk about how the fandom has hyper projected onto shen yuan and went the mile with at least a leap of interruptation of one line yet turn a blind eye to the rest of canon?

specifically I'm talkin about the broke american college studentification of shen yuan coupled with the fanon that he's chronically ill. these are two beasts of their own and should be tackled differently so I will.

I personally and strongly disagree with how a lot of fanon portrays shen yuan with messy hair, a large hoodie, disgustin room, and general I guess losercore aesthetics lmao. and now I'm even wondering if he was explicitly a college student or if it was just fanon based on that he's at least 20 years old. I feel this is a mental image constructed not from canon, but the idea of what kind of person would be his age and show his behaviour online... from a western perspective.

I believe that he would be far more put together, especially as he is a rich pretty boy in modern china. the difference in acceptable levels of casual, especially for a son of a very wealthy family, are much different between america and china. honestly I do find it a bit sad I wear a slightly frilly button up shirt and a short skirt and suddenly I'm a model in my area but I digress. I definitely think that shen yuan would probably even be actively into street fashion, give how well he seems to take to shen qingqiu's own pretty boy life. I also have a hard time believin that such a low life style person would readily take to the upkeep and demands of life as an immortal master with specialty in the fine arts.

there's also something to say about his resemblance to shen qingqiu (re: mushroom body), as well as I've seen some people claim that shen yuan was tall due to his lack of reaction nor stumbling with his new towering height. while the two adaptions I know if depict him with short hair, I think he could have readily had longer hair as well, maybe shoulder or so length. if "not reacting" is grounds to stand on (which is also used for the chronically ill headcanon), one could reasonably point out he doesn't seem to have any trouble with his now waist length locks. even slowly growing out my hair I'm having shocks to what the life entails, so I can't imagine being fully chill with sudden long hair. however, with the it's modern china argument for fashion, it is most reasonable he'd have short hair.

and yet, despite all this evidence in favour of a distinguished shen yuan ignored, the fandom took his pretty boy waiting to die line and ran with it, hard. I have been told this was due to a fan translation note implying that it could have hinted to chronic illness, and it was instead warped as fact of what the line was trying to say. I've also seen the lack of reaction claim used on him supposedly adjusting very well to living with without a cure, often paralleled to some people's chronic illnesses. this is a fair headcanon and is not really a problem on it's own. I just want to speak my thoughts on it, especially in contrast to the other popular fanon arising from ignoring a fair bit of canon implications and then taking one that most likely was not even in that direction as gospel.

first and foremost, as a disabled person myself, I find a lot of fandom depiction of chronic illness to be very divorced from reality, used to play into the losercore vibe, often just thrown in there with feelin like the creator forgot they gave him a disability only to suddenly write a single sentence goin "look! he's disabled!", and worse of all as if it could be his only justification for wasting his life away on the internet.

I once read a fanfic that seemed to just list a bunch of things he had or did because of his disability in a very list-like way, but a believable combination enough to presume they at least knew someone disabled, only to leave his cane at home after establishing his unamed illness with 50 symptoms could suddenly k.o. him at any time. not only did nothing happen while he was out, I question why someone of his status yet so severely disabled would not have an ambulatory wheelchair.

I also question the lack of mental illness present in many fanfics. this is not only due to that chronic illness does not really exist independently of mental illness, but I feel that shen yuan is canonically very mentally ill. not only is he wasting his life away with no purpose, heavily implied to be neglected, but he immediately accepts and welcomes a foreign life with no consideration of going back. many people write fanfics of shen yuan pressed about his identity and wishing to be seen for him, but as I've noticed and have pointed out to me by others, that's just not the case. there is no canon reveal because there is no identity conflict. he may divorce himself from shen jiu adamantly, but he marries himself quite well to shen qingqiu, readily switchin how to refer to himself near instantly.

I also feel there's something to say about how he's not only welcoming a foreign world, but one with severe danger that he has to face. and what does he do? dissociates like hell. it takes him a couple books before he even sees those around him as people! I also feel that him not even recognizin that he was cryin from literally ripping a chunk of his own leg out until binghe pointed it out speaks volumes. he let binghe rawdog him in a craze with excruciatin pain that literally killed him and was like "yea this is fine ah what do you mean there's a chance binghe might be dead when I get back noo". could even make an argument that his ignorance to his harem is more than just comphet, but also believin that he wouldn't have value to others in that way. his value is his status: a status he didn't earn and has never earned.

I don't know. I feel there's a lot more to shen yuan than the fandom looks at or rather the fandom digs into things that aren't even there as if it's the penacle of his character. I wanna see more exploration of shen yuan as he is rather than what the fandom wants him to be. or at least to me, his pretty rich boy complex feels far more interestin than the hundredth "oh yea he's chronically ill" shoved in for little to no reason other than they can't comprehend his behaviour without it. as if to say "well if only he could physically do other things, he would. he's not like those losers who can't get a grip of themselves." completely ignorin the depths of mental illness they could explore. it feels both saneist and ableist, in different directions. he's only so pathetic because he's physically disabled. that he can't be any other way, otherwise he's just not likeable.

like give him a couple personality disorders to explore his behaviour with or something! show how he's actually so used to playing pretty composed rich boy in public and that's why he so easily slipped into his idea of shen qingqiu! something!! anything!!!

#svsss #shen yuan #text #mine #throwin this into the tags like a heathen #I feel like I'm gonna get myself into hot waters arguin a character shouldn't be depicted as chronically ill especially on the tumblrs #I mean not that he can't be but. at least do it right if yer gonna. don't just do it because you feel like you have to #or accidentally confuse it for canon or look down upon the alternative explainations for his actions #the broke college student chic thing I don't get at all though. that's just wild to me.#at first I accepted both of these things without thought in a consumption way but the moment I stepped into the idea of writing #along with plans to reread and dissect characters with notes #the less what I've already processed on the first run through made sense with fanon and so I dug into why a little bit #mayb I'll have more refined takes on my second read through but this is my current opinion

114 notes · View notes

fairydrowning · 1 year

Text

The process of healing is not easy. Healing from the things you don't deserve, healing from the things no one ever apologized for is such a difficult thing to do. For months you take care of your health and then on one fine day it gets worse again. You think you are fine now but you are not. It takes long or maybe your whole life to heal from different traumas, relationships or things. You have to detach from other things or people just to heal yourself. It's the fight with one's own self.

1K notes · View notes

kyouka-supremacy · 5 months

Text

Finally gotten around scanning the September Animage issue. Please enjoy!!

#Finding a scanner I could use was such such a pain ;;;;;;#No way to scan the poster though it's way too big and I can't reach the center...#Unless by folding it‚ but I'd rather refrain from doing that #Anyways I'm in the process of scanning the whole magazine so hopefully I'll be posting the j/jk and g w/itch sections too #Then I'll probably upload a folder with the whole thing #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd s5 #bsd season 5 #mine #Edit: This is another thing I've been trying to do for months and I just spent the last three hours fixing up the pictures #Felt like it was worth mentioning ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡#New year's resolution is definitelly to spend less time with my computer

168 notes · View notes

cyberspacebear · 4 months

Text

i finished this painting and all i felt was hollow. which is fitting. curse of aimen

#the curse of a realism painter #or any perfectionist artist i guess. just feeling absolutely empty in the emotions aisle after finishing a big project #the yard #the thing is that i was actually ecstatic after i finished the painting. it was the end of a two month process and i was so relieved.#but then i had to take photos of it #and now one could say that i'm feeling less cool #anyways i'm not begging for compliments i do like this painting. it'll just take me another month before i can get a big ego about it #aiden calvin

162 notes · View notes

ballad-of-the-lamb · 2 months

Text

new art soon i promise i've just been dealing w/ a migraine for the past couple days that's been killing me and preventing me from getting anywhere

#munpost #promise my silence hasn't been used w/o some kind of benefit #looking into how i can start up ko-fi for things and maybe setting up something for making pins or stickers #without it effecting my access to insurance anyway #hard maybe i'm just looking into the process to see if risk is worth reward #also spent this time learning everything about the extent of the flat earth theory from random documentaries on youtube and #steve buscemi was right in spy kids 2

107 notes · View notes

spif-lol · 7 months

Text

Reasons why the simpsons hit and run stream is jerma's best stream

it's ELEVEN HOURS LONG

you get to witness his slow descent into madness as he insists on playing the whole game in one sitting

I can watch it when i replay the game, would recommend makes it way more enjoyable

he spends too much time doing really bad impressions trying to copy voice lines for the game and yelling "HIRE ME IM AVAILABLE"

He decides to confess half an hour in that he knows nothing about the simpsons and has only seen like one or two episodes

this is ten minutes after he references a specific episode, and then proceeds to get told off for 'spoiling' an episode of the simpsons (from like 1995) by chat

Chat also somehow manages to convince him that ten year old boy Bart Simpson's famous catchphrase from everyone's favourite family animated tv show is 'eat ass'

In general it switches between him refusing to believe things people tell him about the game despite being true and falling for obvious lies

he starts the game going 'lol wouldnt it be funny if you could run over simpsons characters' and then jokingly drives towards civillians thinking they'll jump out of the way. they go flying. he is so confused

the dissonance between early and later parts of the stream are palpable. It turns from a cheerful and lighthearted exploration of a funny simpsons game that he refuses to take seriously or accept that it could genuinely make him angry, and transforms into a desperate race against time, his computer and his own hubris as he seeks simply to finish the game so he can sleep. This stream destroys him.

the way the stream highlights are named on his youtube is hilarious. "Jerma will not get angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "Jerma might get a bit angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "d'oh"

it's extremely funny how many time he's convinced he's in the last level of the game, only to be wrong. the first time he thinks that is in the first section and hour of the stream

easily his most rewatchable stream (this is gonna cover a lot of dot points)

the amount of tragic irony and foreshadowing in this stream is almost cinematic.

at the very start of the game he complains about the music being too loud and monologues about sounds and over stimulation of game music bothers him, which of course will be very funny in the finale

he also comments a few time at the start about how annoying homer's random voice lines are, and says 'oh god he's gonna repeat that a thousand times before the end of this game'. he's right, and it nearly drives him crazy by the final mission

speaking of the final mission(s), the second time he has to transport the toxic sludge from power plant to the school he like pauses the game and very seriously addresses chat like 'alright tell me right now are the next three levels also me driving the nuclear waste to the school that cant be possible right'. and then just accepting in defeat that that is in fact how this incredibly stupid and difficult children's game finishes

when he first races against the malibu stacy car and gets destroyed he gets mad and says he wishes he could drive that car. then when he gets to drive it in later levels he quickly decides its his favourite and maintains that until the end of the game

on rewatch... you hear him audibly crack open a can that chat demands he prove to them is soft drink and not alcohol like A WHOLE HOUR before The Incident and it's a little like watching a disaster movie where you see the characters laughing and having fun little knowing how they are being hastened towards their own doom... like chat keeps bugging him about it, he keeps making excuses, he keeps sipping the drink. they bring attention to it so much and you listen to it just knowing the pain that is yet to come. dramatic irony at its finest and most heartache inducing

15. ohmyfucking gaaaawd no! no... god... ICANDOITINAJUMP! ..... BART. WHERE IS HE??? BAAART!!!! AAAUUGH

16. actually fr there's a lot of memorable jerma lines in this stream, rewatching it is like watching a jerma funny moment compilation

17. the final couple of levels where he is getting steadily more overwhelmed to the point of ferality, and then he says he has an idea and goes to the sound menu and turns everything off. voice lines. music. sound effects. and then we watch him play the level in complete silence. and it actually helps him focus its really funny

18. the whole tragic sequence where he is in the FINAL LEVEL. he has played it so many times and just missed it by a few seconds. he is tired. he is hungry. he just wants to get off stream and eat a BURGER. he is focussing as hard as he can. he is almost there. he runs over too many things and the police are after him. but its okay. he's doing it! he's gonna make it!!! he gets to the school with time to spare and is sucked up into the end of the game beam. it's over. except then the police get sucked into the beam as well. he gets arrested in the beam. which teleports him and the car out of the beam. WHICH MEANS THE TIMER RUNS OUT AND HE LOSES. so he has to do it all over again. it's actually so so so funny and also something i think i personally wouldn't survive if i was in jerma's position in that moment

19. okay we have to talk about The Incident. bc i already alluded to it and bc like, i couldn't not talk about it. as stated above Jerma cracks open a can so you can hear it and chat immediately accuses him of being an alcoholic. he adamantly insists that it is a soft drink not a beer but they refuse to believe him unless he proves it by showing camera. he's playing on a modded ps2 pc port or whatever of the simpsons so it's a complicated setup and he explains that it would be too hard and also he's shirtless so they will just have to believe without seeing. chat continues to harass him while he goes on to play the game, specifically most of the lisa level. he laughs it off but eventually caves, gets up and get a blanket to cover himself and then alt tabs, holds his can up to the camera and says 'alright you satisfied? that might have just fucked up the game'. so then he tries to tab back into the game and it. crashes. hard. so hard that the game won't actually turn back on. so jerma's cursing and fiddling with the controls and saying its over. then it finally reboots and the game works and he's so relieved and it loads and he realises that he has lost SO MUCH PROGRESS. he's back at the start of the lisa section. this is truly the turning point of the game where it goes from being a fun experience to a nightmare gauntlet

20. on a related note: jerma waiting with bated breath *sound of simpsons game booting back up after refusing to for far too long* jerma: yeeeAAAAAH

21. im watching it right now as i replay, which is why im thinking about it obv. so i will almost certainly have more to add to this

#jerma #obviously jerma dollhouse and so on streams are probably the most iconic but simpsons hit and run is like #wonderful in a completely unplanned way #I'm also partial to his house flipper streams #if just for the bits and being a space for jerma to create the most insane things imaginable with only the slightest prompting from chat #vaguely unrelated: when my housemate got home and saw me playing simpsons hit and run while #rewatching jerma's stream at the same time they said that think if someone analysed my brain #and exposed a different brain to my content consuming process their brain would explode #so mean....#i was also listening to one of the jay eazy megaman remixes at the same time. my awesome mind

209 notes · View notes

humlors · 2 years

Text

Babygirl your evil identify crisis and rockin dead bod have bewitched me body and soul. Now let me please know what the Fuck went wrong w u off screen

#ntn spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #tlt spoilers #kiriona gaia #gideon nav #crying screaming throwing up when she woke up. and then she started talking #listen i ADORE the came back wrong trope. i just. I'm just so sad about it tho #cant wait for alecto to be half killing john preferably without destroying thw world in the process #ans half harrow chasing gideon around trying to convince her that no she did all those things bc she actually loves gideon #aaughh. hopefully will have energy for more than sketches w some colors slapped on. but needed. to draw She #oppost #majsart

2K notes · View notes