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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

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Dress Codes,Nooky And Cock Blocks

Masterlist

Henry tries to be a white knight and realizes Kal is to smart for his own good.

Request/Prompt: Henry and Kal meets you from work after having a bad day. Playing with Kal to make Henry jealous. Shutting kal out for some nooky but Kal sits outside the door barking and howling.

Warnings: Smutty Almost Smut! Fluff, Swearing

A/N: so this has combined two ideas one of which is from the lovely @being-worthy This was going to be a Pooh bear chapter two but hasn't quite fit the bill. Anyway I hope you all enjoy. P.S I 100% belive Kal would be a little shit!!!

Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters @thatgirly81 @angelofthorr @iloveyouyen @sofiebstar @thefangirlsblog @harrysthiccthighss @loserrlauraa @tumblrnewby @isitmine @tinabean37

This was a fucking piss take your manager was an asshole! You huffed about the office still trying to process the stupidity he just fucking spouted at you. You moved to the ladies room phone in hand ready to vent locking yourself in a stall fingers poised to rant in a long ass text message but you froze. Henry was home well at the gym to be more specific. He was over the moon having just snagged the role of Geralt of Rivia and had been working tirelessly on bulking up for the role especially now that he was getting the dates for shooting. You paused taking a deep breath. No. You cant vent to him and ruined his day to. You growled and moved leaving the bathroom slamming the door thankful that you only had another hour, at least the prick had the decency to wait until the end of the day.

You through your phone down into the bag sitting at your desk for a few moments. You cast your eyes over the computer screen seeing the little bimbo...His little bimbo Stacey there was an office romance between your asshat of a manager and this little blonde. She ran about the office in small tight skirts hair immaculate and thick makeup smeared across her face and fuck me glasses that were an accessory not prescription like yours. She had a snug fitted blouse and pencil skirt on flitting about the office in some dangerous looking heels. More feminine? Was you supposed to jump up and say 'yes sir of course Sir, anything to keep this job sir' then flutter your lashes at him?.

Fuck that, and fuck this be more feminine bullshit, there was no written dress code and as far as things had gone you were doing your job pretty damn well and you didn't need heels to do it!

You scowled seeing the blonde slip out followed by your manager it mus be time fore their discrete get away a make out in the copier room...How original. You sighed clicking your mouse scanning through the next lot of appointments...No more today but there was a shit tonne tomorrow. You sighed getting down...Was your job really on the line over skirts, makeup and heels? Sure you were on probation but they couldn't sack you for breaking a non existent dress code...Could they.honestly you wouldn't put it past Dave he seemed to have some fucked up traditional views.

Your attention was quickly drawn down to your phone buzzing you smiled seeing it was Henry quickly tapping the notification.

'Bbe you still at the office?? Miss you! 😘😘' You smiled softly heaving a deep breath then began typing.

'Yep still here not for long though finish in 1hr thank god 😘😘 u 2 at the gym still??' You sent the text and got a reply pretty quick you smiled he must have left the gym to reply so quick. Your thoughts wandered a daydream of the huge glorious man puffed out and sweaty ugh yes that's what you needed right now your man to just ruin you fuck the stress and doubt right out of you!. Your eyes scanned the new text he had sent pulljng you out of your raunchy thoughts.

'No just left walking Kal around the park he got a bit excited need to wear him out, so have a good day?'

'😂 good luck with that. And its been okay...G2g shopping after apparently I need to dress more feminine😒😒 so will be home late' You frowned hearing the two love birds enter the office again wrapped up around one another professionally you rolled your eyes as the blonde pulled away from your manager giggling and made her way to the computer opposite you instantly reaching for her compact mirror trying to correct the smeared lipstick across her face. Your phone pinged and you looked down face lighting up a little seeing the anger emojis. Henry felt the same ass you.

'😡😡🤬WTF? wats tht sppsd 2 mean?' you cringed maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut but it was too late now you sighed trying to placate him.

'I need to wear skirts and shit...be an office bimbo no big deal🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ just get a few skirts thts all' you typed back his reply was immediate almost as if he'd been typing the same time as you. Wincing you prepared yourself for the worse, Henry was a very protective man and you knew he hated the whole gender roles thing.

'😡😡You dnt need makeup and shit!! ur gorgeous dnt u listen to that wanker!! Can't u leave early?? Say ur going shopping?? Just get out of there! please love dnt let this get 2 u!!🥺🥺 I love u, ur perfect!!😍😘😘😍' You grinned got flushing rereading the words a warmth in your chest. You knew that he meant every word. Stacey looked over with a smirk snapping the compact shut and pointed a false nail in your direction.

"Oh? Is that a blush? Who are you texting? Someone cute?" You flicked your eyes up to her you didn't have anything against her per say but you were different people, she was all Instagram, kardashians and trending and you were all gaming, books and cosy pajamas. You never really spoke to her if you could help it.

"Err yeah...My boyfriend" you admitted looking down seeing another text from him. Another round of compliments and reassuring words lit up your screen.

'I mean it bbe I know u! dnt beat urself up over it! Dont u let him get 2 u!😘😘' you smiled softly yes he did know you and he knew this had not only made you angry but also insecure. You thought you looked good at work you always made a point to look 'put together' but it wasn't enough?

"Ooo was that him again? You never told me you had a boyfriend! Is he new? How long have you been together? What does he do? Whats he saying!?" You gulped as she got up quickly scuttling around the desk as fast as she could in her heels and skirt.

"We've been together a few years...He's just asking me to leave early and catch diner with him but I don't think Dave would like that..." Stacey's face lit up and she beamed at you. She was happy to have something else to gossip about.

"Oh! that’s so sweet~ he wants to steal you away for dinner! You know I wish Dave would do that but he only really pays attention to me at work....So does this sweet mystery man have a name?" You looked up at her tilting your phone away a little so she didn't see Henry's on going threats of 'coming down there and teaching Dave some manners by ripping his tongue out his ass' you shook your head as you caught the ass end of a long text full of emojis...You sort of regret teaching him the meanings of them....Was that an eggplant in the middle?.

"Henry...His name is Henry and he's an actor" Stacey squealed cupping her face completely excited for some reason.

"Oh that's so cute! You know its always you shy ones that nab yourselves the boho guys...You know I always wanted to date the 'boho' type myself but never did, they were all to....Just not my type I like clean cut guys, you know ones who fill out a suit" You squinted what the fuck was she getting at? You schooled your features standing taller quickly and made your own little dig.

"Like Dave?" she flushed and nodded excitedly missing the whole sarcastic droll over your words. She clapped her hands completely missing the fact you were poking fun at the scrawny 'stud' sleazeball who Henry could easily snap over his thigh if he wanted to.

"Yes just like my Dave~! Ugh anyway do you have a pic...Come ooon! Let me see your man~" you sighed tilting your head to her...She was pretty harmless...And dippy so it shouldn't do any harm she didn't strike you as the type of person to watch Henry's movies so shouldn't recognize him. You nodded sweetly it was actually a little fun you rarely got to show off your man, most people who knew him knew you were dating. You twisted the phone eying the screen and froze seeing the last texts he sent you whilst you spoke to Stacey.

'Have you got out early??🧐🧐'

'Babe don't ignore me!😤😤 Is he still there!?😡'

'Woman you better answer me! Stop ignoring me bbe it wont help😤😤'

'Im serious y/n do I need to chat with him? Do you want me to help?🧐🧐'

'Look out the window'

"Oh hell no!" you huffed out under your breath then stood up scrabbling to the large office window Stacey followed you alarmed. You freaked and quickly opened the window poking your head out to scream at your sweet but very dappy boyfriend. As irritated as the texts were he didn't look it, well until you really looked he was tense and it wasn't just because Kal was puling excitedly.

"Oh my god?! HENRY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!....GET OUT OF THE GOD DAMNED ROAD!!" lone behold when you looked down you saw Henry standing there with a huge bouquet of Roses and a bag you suspected held a box of chocolates, Kal was barking up at you spinning in circles and jumping up super excited almost dragging the huge man over in all the excitement. It would seem the walk was not enough to wear out the bear. Henry grinned up at you you heard Stacey from beside you gasp.

"Holy shit is that your boyfriend??" you turned to her and smiled smugly to her nodding then glanced back down to him seeing him quickly navigate the people bustling around the car park heading for the doors. You froze. You can't let him up here he sounded angry earlier...He'd kill Dave. You ran back to your desk quickly logging off the pc and snatching up your bag.

"Where do you think your going y/n?" Dave called after you you stopped seeing him there arms crossed giving you the filthiest look he could muster seeing your bag slung over your arm then there was the distinct buzzing of someone Henry at the door trying to be buzzed in. You pointed to the door opening our mouth to fake sickness or something but was interrupted.

"Oh Dave leave her alone...All the times she's here early let her go early for once, we don't need her anymore today and it means we get the office to ourselves for an hour~" your eyes bugged out as Stacey came to your aid fluttering her lashes to your manager. He heaved a sigh and nodded to the door in a 'get out of here' motion.

You smiled quickly darting out down the stairs to the ground floor seeing Henry standing there unimpressed finger holding the button down in one long irritating ring. You shook your head at him through the glass as he held the button.

You slapped the exit button opening the door and Henry tried darting past you into the building chest puffed shoulders ready to give your boss a piece of his mind but you caught the frightening man by his ridiculous bulging bicep. You spun with him digging your heels into the worn carpet.

"No no no! Henry no!" he carried on to the stairs dragging you with him passing you the roses and Kal's lead as the dog bounced around you both yipping like the over excited pup he was. Henry had hoped filling your hands would give him time to jump up a few steps out of your reach so he could have a chat with Dave about this whole misogynistic bullshit. Henry swore when you scampered behind him hooking your arms around his forearm and leant back, if he moved you'd drop like a rock and up the few steps as you both were, you'd hurt yourself. He stopped heaving a deep sigh looking to you.

"Just five minuet's babe is all I need! fucking feminine my ass he just wants to oogle your peach of an ass!! And that's not- that ass is mine!! fucking no one NO ONE fucking upsets my baby!" Your body flushed skin prickling at the shear alpha tone the possessive growl that seeped into his words made you tremble swallowing dryly you managed to shake it off and focused on the task at hand fucking could come later for now you needed to stop him from ripping your manager a new one. You moved crouching down bearing your weight down giggling at him as he still tried to thunder up the stairs. Kal helped to pulling at his lead it was a joint effort.

"Henn love?! I'll be sacked if you go up there and make Dave piss himself! Please lets just go home it's Friday I can find a few things over the week end for now can we please leave" he stopped and looked up to the brown ceiling and flickering light sigh he clicked his tongue then looked to you slowly with a heavy breath.

"....Fine, but next time I'm having him!" you smiled finding his protective side arousing your tummy clenching just knowing you big strong man could rinse the little twat upstairs made your pussy clench you always had a thing about strong men and Henry was the most physically fit you'd ever met. You somehow managed to coax him out of the door in the direction of home taking a detour picking up a Chinese on the way.

You giggled rolling around the floor with Kal. after a quiet dinner and snuggle with Henry you had been ushered away so he could do his nightly reading of his new script.You didn't mind at all you loved seeing him so invested in his roles. you caught a glimpse of the red roses sitting proudly in a glass vase on the fireplace almost blocking the view of the tv but not quite. You loved this, just being home with your favorite boys enjoy a nice quiet night in. you scoffed mocking kal who was pulling hard on the black rope trying to out witt you with quick flicks of his head, playing tug with Kal was a workout huge as he was he had the weight and strength to out match even Henry. You did not stand a chance just holding onto the black rope hoping to slow him down but he was full of energy today.

Henry was sitting on the sofa feet up reading his witcher script pen in hand as he read his page, one a night was the deal. But honestly trying to pull him away from this particular script was a hell of a job fair enough he was trying to memorize lines and scribble down alternatives in the margins. It was sweet how excited he got, he already knew the character in and out so could already tweak things around so it felt like Geralt. He was happy had been chasing the role for a while so you didn't mind that preparing for it was taking up most of his time. but you were still horny from earlier and wouldn't complain to a night of nooky. But alas Henry was drawn in by the script and you were trying to find other ways to distract yourself from the bubbling arousal in your loins, like playing with Kal. But that’s not to say you wasn't going to tease your man, there were ways to get his attention~

You smirked putting a plan into action bending lower wriggling your ass, craning back so your shorts rode up just that little bit more. Then once in place you squealed loud gaining the mans attention as Kal tugged dragging you across the floor growling playfully bouncing his weight back jerking you around, it was only then that Henry grunted in annoyance, your voice had been high he loved you keeping Kal entertained he really did, but sometimes he needed a little quiet. Especially when he was trying to concentrate.

"You know if I keep this up I'll have bigger muscles then you~" you giggled out a you tried to hold your own against the mighty bear. Henry smiled and watched shaking his head as Kal dragged you under his legs to the free space on the side of the coffee table. As much as he was trying to concentrate you could never get on his nerves for long, he just loved you to damn much. Henry frowned as you were pulled again wincing anticipating an accident as Kal was definitely getting to invested in the game.

"Or a dislocated shoulder" he commented as Kal did another particularly painful looking shunt and shook his head side to side still growling loud around the toy. It was then that he looked at you properly and what he saw made the man pause and suck in a breath air getting trapped in his throat at the innocently erotic sight. Seeing you bent over any time was a pleasure but here and now? Bouncing deliciously on your knees being half dragged about the living room added another dimension to the whole thing. Your arms and back stretched out low on the floor spine arched slightly, sitting with your knees tucked under you, the bouncing making your ass jump deliciously.

Two full ass cheeks peeking out of you short shorts as Kal carried on his jerky movements. You bit your lip grunting and tugged back pulling with all your might successfully gaining a few inches which Kal stole back and more making you yelp and moan as you were sprawled out on the carpet again. This time dragged up on your knees into a position he he spent many nights enjoying to his fullest. were you doing this on purpose? he wouldn't put it past you...Maybe you needed a fuck, a proper fuck.

Henry couldn't help the twitching in his groin, the first tremors as he got a front row seat to the two perfect globes of your ass seemingly clapping against one another with the shorts acting like a thong shucked up your ass. Fuck you wasn't wearing Knickers again. Little fucking minx. He lowered his feet to the floor now far to invested in watching you roll around in the tiny shorts. swept up in the way your body swayed taunting him. you turned to him with a sly smile and sent him a quick wink that he almost missed.

He gaped at you, you were doing it on purpose!! His script laid completely forgotten on his lap as he watched you turn back to Kal innocently dipping down low again shoulders to the floor stretched out taught in front of you face tucked into your arm as Kal fought you for the coveted rope. God...It had been a while since he fucked you like that. He licked his lips. Too long in the busy days since snagging the witcher role he had only had time for a two quickies. Two fumbled quickies in three weeks and they wasn't even that good. Well not his usual hour long foreplay teasing and touching then good few rounds. They were just a flurry of fast rutting motion's, less fucking more jerking trying to finish as quickly as you could just wanting that high. he bit his lip watching you watch him out of the corner of your eye definitely teasing him.

"Babe come here~" You froze and twisted your head back you knew that tone.Grinning knowing you'd got your way you looked seeing Henry eyeing you hungrily biting his lip tilting his head, legs spread wide making his thighs bulge in what should be a loose set of black shorts but actually became skin tight on this Goliath of a man. You flushed under the gaze but managed to hold into the rope not giving the still pulling pup an inch. His eyes were a dark ocean blue pupils nearly swallowing the color completely, you wondered how far you could push him. you pouted at him before teasing him further opening your legs wider letting the material of your shorts almost completely disappear.

"Henry...I'm playing with Kal-" he squinted at you then quirked a brow before shaking his head snapping shut the folder holding the script and let it drop to the floor by his foot with a decisive thump. You gulped. But didn't move instead you heaved back pulling the Akita across the floor.

"Babe...Come here Kal's had his playtime..." you rolled your eyes hearing the silent 'now I want mine' sometimes he was a man child. You twisted your head to him with a flutter of your lashes and cheeky grin.

"Well I'm playing with Kal you have to wait your turn-HEY? HENRY THAT’S CHEATING!?" You yelped as Henry quickly bolted up right and stomped on the rope whilst using his considerable size and strength to pull you up off the floor making you release the toy.

"Well that’s enough playing with Kal, time to play with me. I wont be cock blocked in my own house by the dog~" you giggled as Henry quickly began climbing the stairs laughing kicking your feet, watching as Kal stayed two steps behind rope in his mouth excitedly following his parents, you were all going to play!. It was only when the dog found himself shut out of the bedroom did he realize you were in fact not going to be playing with him anymore tonight. you could hear the indignant huff through the door.

You wriggled as Henry fell onto the bed with you wrapped around him slowly devouring each other with deep kisses tongues and teeth roaming each other. It had been a good few weeks since you both explored one another properly. Henry pulled away chuckling at the soft scratches at the door. Kal was not impressed.

"Kal go lie down! We will be finished soon" Henry called out and ignored the high whines and more insistent scratching at the door and leaned over you sucking at your neck decorating it as he saw fit leaving marks of red and purple biting his mark into the crook of your neck then lower tracing a warm wet train over your thin shirt. You moaned clutching his waist trapping him between your thighs using the grip you had to rock up onto him trying to ease the burning in your core.

"Oh whats this? Someone is impatient considering she wanted to keep playing with Kal?" His voice came out as a deep rasp making you gasp cupping his face.

"You treating me with your Geralt babe?" He smiled latching onto your ear rocking down onto you drawing out soft mewls. You vaguely heard Kals whines become louder barks out side the door hearing the dog jump up pawing at the handle of the door trying to break in.

"Oh you like?~" You sighed quickly trying to rid your tshirt panting feeling just how wet your slit had got, you were embarrassingly wet considering you hadn't even done anything yet.

"Fuck yes~ oh god its so-ah fuck its so hot Henry~" he pulled back growling in the new low tone you hadn't known he was capable of, his large hands helped remove the tshirt throwing it across the room and latched onto your tits biting and sucking slow flicking his tongue across a pebbled nipple as his hands stripped you of your shorts. he chuckled seeing the damp patch, your arousal sticking to the material in one neat line.

"Oh you really do need me don't you love~" you nodded to him whining when he pulled back grunting a growl biting your boob and sucking harshly. You both moved in tandem rolling around the sheets grinding ,rocking ,biting and grunting both intent on ignoring the pup crying outside the door. He would wear himself out and get bored. Well that was the plan anyway.

Henry finally pinned you and descended on your core like a starving man given the sweetest fruit. You cried out fingers in his hair unsure what spurred on this heated frenzie but would happily indulge him. One thing you loved about him is he was always up for eating you out, the man thrived on it! He seemed to get a massive kick out of feasting on you until you came all over him. You grunted as he suckled on your bud teasing and twisting his supple lips across it Nipping you began to loose yourself panting and jerking up into his mouth chasing a sweet release you hadn't known you needed and then you heard it.

A deep loud echoing mournful howl. Even Henry stopped frowning up at you from between your legs. That was new, Kal wasn't a howly dog, he barked and yipped giving off the weirdest groans and moans. But never howled. You both burst out laughing unable to stop it as the howls were all over the place, loud and quiet raspy and uneven like Kal was an apprentice learning on the job.they were less 'howls' and more 'how-wo-wow-wo-wow' It was clear this was his first time but bless him he was trying to be the wolf of the house. You panicked as he began to get the hang of it and patted Henry's shoulder. he was still chuckling finding Kals new found voice hilarious.

"Quick stop him! If he learns that we'll never hear the end of it!" You chuckled pulling the thin sheet over you as Henry swore and quickly slinked off the bed racing to the door opening it stopping Kal in his tracks. The Akita smiled panted a few breaths thumped his tail on the floor then collected his rope entering, jumping on the bed without a care in the world.

"Babe?" You asked biting the inside of your cheek trying to stop the giggles as Henry began to scowl at the fluffy bear sprawling out on his side of the bed a flush building up his chest settling over his face. He cleared his throat.

You and Henry watched as Kal moved dropping the rope by your hand waiting for you to continue your game of tug. You flopped back in peels of laughter at Henry's face. The man looked amused and livid at the same time as realization struck. Kal, lovable cute baby boi Kal had just played Henry like a fiddle. You didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the fact your boyfriend, your chosen mate had just been outsmarted by a dog.

"Yes love?" He said none to happy with how things had turned out, here he was standing at the foot of his bed painful hard on and there you were naked and willing...In his bed...With Kal. This was not the plan.

"I hate to break it to you...But you've just been cock blocked in your own house by your dog....For a game of tug!" You giggled as you threw Henry's previous words back at him petting Kal who was still fiddling with the rope trying to make you grab it.

"No shit...Can we still fuck? I mean he can have my side! I'm gonna be on top of you anyway?" You gaped at him as he rounded the bed fulling intent on rolling on top of you sliding home. You held up your hand to him.

"Nope! No way am I fucking you next to Kal!" Henry ignored you crouching over you trying to lay you back down to finish what he started before being rudely interrupted by the Akita now in bed with his girlfriend.

"Oh babe why not? this is painful, look I'm going purple...Besides you started it its your responsibility~" he whined trying to bat away your pushing hands leaning in to capture you with a burning kiss. You dodged anticipating his next move, his kisses were always a sure fire way to make you completely melt and give in to him. you quickly twisted away throwing your legs over the side of the bed placing your hands either side of his naked hips, pressing him back as he still tried to gain on you. you swallowed looking up at him meeting his lopsided grin, trying to ignore the proud cock swaying in front of you almost tapping your heaving breasts.

"How about the shower? He's scared of the bathroom since his last bath?" Henry snapped his fingers and clapped face lighting up as he patted your hands slowly easing them off of him.

"Fuck yes! Babe you are a genius!" He moved over and kissed your face making you bat him away and then he turned to Kal wagging a finger at him.

"And you my four legged son are a pain in the ass!" You shook your head patting Kal as he tilted his head he looked offended with his dads statement. You looked to the bathroom door as Henry's pert ass vanished around the door frame.

"Daddy didn't mean it baby boy~ you know how he is when he doesn't get his way...Just a spoiled man child~ he loves you really" Kal whined ears flattening as he heard the shower switch on. You patted the dog with a sigh and got up padding across the bedroom to the en suit.

"Don't worry baby you stay there and daddy wont get you in the mean old shower~" you giggled scratching his ears as he huffed in defeat. His daddy had got the better of him and the Akita wasn't pleased. He grumbled as Henry poked his head around the door frame wriggling his brows at you as you passed him getting a playful smack on the rear. then he faced the dog and stuck his tongue out childishly to the dog who huffed and turned around choosing to give you both a clear view of his ass.

#henry cavill fic #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill smut #henry cavill #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill fluff #kal cavill

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stumbleintothesun · 3 years

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Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.

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skgway · 4 years

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1832 Nov., Tues. 6

8 50/..

12 1/2

Fine morning – Fahrenheit 49º at 9 20/.. a.m. – Called up to Wilson the joiner come about the library passage up and down stairs in 1/2 hour – Till 9 giving orders – Then breakfast with my father – Waited for Marian to order about flannel for waistcoats and drawers. Determined to have all ready to be off in January –

Had Washington – To have all the bills next week for wearing, mystal at Southolme etc. etc. – Just saw my aunt for a few minutes – Very kind 2 1/2 pages Letter from Miss McL– [MacLean] (Coll house aros) to say the bay on laurel leaved willows were sent off to Glasgow yesterday week with orders to be forwarded here immediately –

Off at 11 1/4 with Marian to call at the vicarage – There in 20 minutes and sat 1/2 hour with Mrs. Musgrave – Then went with Marian to Walker’s shop to order flannel etc. for things for me in readiness for being off – Hoped I really should be on route in January – Then parted with Marian –

Went to Whitley’s. Bought Hooper’s medical dictionary 25 /. [shillings] published at 28 /. [shillings] and in 50 minutes at Lidgate (at 1 1/2). Miss W– [Walker] very glad to see me, I having said I should not go till tomorrow – Sat 1/2 hour with her and home at 2 1/2 –

Met Mr. Samuel Waterhouse junior (ætatis 17) at her gate – Stood talking a few minutes while Mr. and Mrs. Lockwood left Miss Walker – Mr. S[amuel] W[aterhouse] just came to her door to ask how she did – She said she should have me to nurse [her] now and really seemed much better and in good spirits.

Talked of the agreeable surprise of seeing [me] but yet seemed more inclined to talk of business than love. I appeared in more than good spirits. She would think them all put on. And perhaps believe me feeling more acutely than I really did. I kissed her, but in a common way, and she did not push herself to me as yesterday and was more guarded.

She will not give me much reason now either to hope or despair. Her self possession will probably be undisturbed enough. I left her with no pleasant feeling, saying to myself, ‘Damn her. It is an arrow and perhaps a lucky escape.’ I dont think her answer will be yes. And the more easily reconciled I am the better. Shall I dislike her by and by? At least I shall be more at liberty without her –

Fred Wilson, the joiner, and his man in the library passage at 2 1/2 – 26 or 27 inches lower than my blue room closet but determined not to be beaten with it, and went on – Dusty job to get the studding down –

Had only just managed and given orders what was to be done when James Holt came at 4 5/.. and had him till 6 – Something must be wrong that Mr. Jeremiah Rawson will not let go into their works – Probably they are stealing my coal already – Holt says I should not take less than £200 per acre but if he was in their place he would not give £250 per acre –

Said I had at 1st asked the price between the 2 leases (£205 and £230) = £217.[pounds] 10. [shillings]. 0 [pence] but had said I should be worse to deal with now – Proposed asking £220 per acre but Holt owned the coal was worth as much now as when sold to Oates and Green and worth quite as much or more to Rawsons than to them (∴ [therefore] I ought to have £230 per acre) –

Owned too that I ought to have more for the coal at the top of the land, for it would make that at the bottom of less value. He thought they had a hundred yards plumbing dip i.e. could get with the water head a hundred yards breadth on this side and alongside the present waterhead driven by Oates and Company – Should shew Mr. J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] the coal plan – Ask him what fields he wanted and might let him Hugh grave field and the coal ungot to the north west of it and to the north east down in a straight line under the cunnery plantation down to the road but not to let him come lower down –

Owned afterwards it would be as well not to let him come lower than the Cunnery houses, for if he got down to the brook he could throw such a quantity of water upon us – If he did not come lower down than Cunnery houses or the present Wakefield road, I might leave or fence of coal or turn the water, and not be so much injured –

Holt would meet J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] on the ground and see what he wanted – No air pit necessary for the lower bed coal, and not to sell any upper bed but by a separate agreement – Upper bed costs 6 d [pence] a score (corves) more getting than lower bed, and not being able to get it all, obliged to leave posts, makes it not work so much by £50 an acre as lower bed –

If J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] would not let Holt go into his works, I might propose either of the 2 brothers Squire or Tom Lassey of Thornhill, the former steward to Mr. Ingham of Misfield – In making the agreement to have surface measure, and the power to send down people into the works whenever I liked, and to have a clause to prevent J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] damming or turning any water back into the old works after he had got the coal (Had I not better have a bond of indemnity against this?) otherwise he might drown me in water and prevent my getting the coal below where he had been getting and had turned the water –

It was right enough that I should make no allowance for gauls or jumbles or ruttle – Great difference between drawing out at the day and pulling up thro’ a shaft – At their (Holt’s) pit on Swales moor 150 yards deep pulling costs them 18 pence a score; and ropes cost them £15 or £16 a year – One collier may be reckoned to get 25 corves a day for five days in a week – If J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] gets £100 profit per acre it will be quite enough –

Then see according to the following what to ask an acre for the coal –

Making all sufficient allowances there will come out of one square yard 5 corves, which (as J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] sells at 7 d [pence] and 8 d [pence] a corve, average at 7 1/2 d [pence] a corve –

Expense of getting 20 corves (or one score) 4 /. [shillings] to the colliers –

Banksman 1 /. [shilling] a score – wear and tear say 6 d [pence] a score, certainly enough –

Lower bed 18 inches thick – Lightcliffe bed 25 inches thick – Billy stocks paid £260 an acre 5 or 6 years ago for what he bought – This that Hinscliffe is taking must be worth as much – He will have very little to sink – 14 or 16 yards and coals worth less as nearer the surface – But not for being dry – But there is a gaul that throws up the coal near Lidgate (breaks out in the road going up the hill) and there cannot be any coal on this side that gaul near more than a daywork or 2 to get in that field next below the Smith (Hinscliffe’s) –

Speaking of Godley, wished Holt not to let it go for nothing but said I had mentioned it to Mr. Samuel Freeman – Holt said I could employ no one better – He said it was North £80 a daywork but £ a daywork was the outside – ∴ [therefore] the 20 dayworks = £2000

Carr has been arrested several times lately – Speaking of the cottages on Godley land, Holt knows that the 4 belonging to his uncle George Holdsworth would be sold – Cost £50 each building and £40 the ground – But might be had he thinks for £ 200 – Will inquire and let me know –

Speaking of his farm, some people might buy it at 3 1/2 percent Rent £66 per anum but it would not suit him to buy land at that price – He explained the manner of working coal pits – Asked him to give me an underground plan of a pit in working and asked him to let me know when I could go down with him into one of his pits. I must understand coal-getting before I have done with it – Holts pit at Binns bottom will be ready for working in 2 months from this and I can go in at the day –

Dinner at 6 3/4 – In 1/2 hour wrote and sent at 7 35/.. 3 pages to “Dr. Belcombe York” or rather 2 pages and 3 or 4 lines to him and the rest to his wife, to be torn off and given to her, thanks for her letter and to say yes! I thought black velvet properly garni au blonde (white) would be very becoming to her –

Told him wished I could give a better account of his patient, but she was not worse on his hands, which was marvellous considering the affliction she had had on account of the sudden death of her most particular friend, the news of which had arrived the day after our leaving York – No pills last Thursday – Begged to have them next Thursday – Ask how long they are to be gone on with without interruption – She thought at 1st, but not afterwards, they gave her much physicky pain in her bowels – These last had behaved very well considering the affliction she had been in –

In fact, she believed she could not have been so well now, had she not had his advice – He is ‘in très bonne odeur’ and his patient has faith enough in him – Mr. Day has been and, I suppose, would not let her believe in her own existence without the use of his ointment but ‘ce nous est égal’ – Ask him to write a letter I can shew. Not to spare a little anxiety and to ask whatever questions he knows will be proper. ‘Indeed not say I have the good of your reputation at heart’ –

John’s son Joseph Booth came over with Scott’s head groom to bring 2 perfect horses to Mr. Thomas Dyson of Willow field – Had him (Joseph B– [Booth]) in and spoke to him – He is grown, and improved – Perhaps I shall take him with me abroad – Then writing journal of today – Had John in – He is much pleased and satisfied with his son – Talked to him about his family – To send Charlotte for my aunt, to hear her read and see her sewing so as to be able to judge what she can do and be fit for –

Then my father and Marian just gone to bed. A few minutes with my aunt – Then came back to the drawing room – Read my letter from Vere dated Turin 24 October 3 pages and ends of small sheet (Frankfort paper) – Very nice chit chat amusing letter –

And read my letter from Lady Stuart (Richmond park) enclosing Vere’s 2 last to her – A kind 1/2 sheet full and a few lines on the envelope (franked by Lord Goderich) from Lady S– [Stuart]. These letters put me in spirits. I am better without Miss W[alker] –

11 1/2 before I had read my letters and written so far of today –

5 corves at 7 1/2 d pence = 37 1/2 d [pence] = 3 1 1/2 per square yard

One score or 20 corves = 12/6 [shillings/pence] expense of getting which = 4 /. [shillings] to the colliers.

∴ [therefore] 12/6 - 5/6 = 7 /. [shillings] clear gain per score = 1 /. [shilling] to the banksman or per 4 square yards = ./6 [shilling/pence] wear and tear (quite enough) –

At the forgoing rate, 5 corves or 1 square yard = clear gain of 1/9 [pound/shillings], 1 score (20 corves) or 4 square yards = clear gain of 7 /. [shillings] ∴ [therefore]

1 acre or 4840 square yards = at 1/9 [pound/shillings] per square yard or 7 /. [shillings] p[e]r 4 square yards = £423. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

Now Holt said this calculation would do, and that £100 clear gain per acre was enough ∴ [therefore] if I have £250 per acre J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] has a profit of 423. [pounds] 10. [shillings]. 0 [pence] – 250 = £173. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

Very fine day – Went up to my room at 11 50/.. at which hour Fahrenheit 49º

[sideways in margin] Sunday 23 December 1832 vide page 231, suppose Messieurs R– [Rawson] to sell at 7 1/2 per corve or 12/6 per score and allow half for expenses, then 48040/4 or 1210 x 6 shillings x 3 d [pence] = £363 + 15. [pounds] 2. [shillings] 6 [pence] = £378. [pounds] 2. [shillings]. 6 [pence], so that paying me £230. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence] per acre then remains to Messieurs a profit per acre of £147. [pounds] 12. [shillings] 6 [pence]

#anne lister #ann walker #anne lister code breaker #shibden hall 1832

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but-im-jess-saying · 4 years

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So I watched season 1 of Sweet magnolias, and I have thoughts and feelings. So I immediately tried to spoil myself by googling the book series the show was based upon and found out that that event at the end of the season did not happen in the books at all. So I began to create my own theories as to what might happen next and also what I would like to see happen next. I thought about it a lot and I'm 100% sure certain they are going to use flashbacks in season 2 to show what happened between Kyle running out of the party and the car crash. Something had to have happened because we don't see anybody grabbing the car keys which means it was probably in Tyler's pocket, though why Jackson would have a ‘no phones’ policy at his parties but not a ‘no car keys’ policy too idk. So, either Kyle took them from him or Tyler gave them to Kyle, why would he do that? What would happen to get Tyler and Kyle in a situation where Kyle can grab the keys and get to the car before someone else can stop him? I think that there has to be a couple scenes. They could have someone who was there just tell the parents about it but I think it would be more effective to show it directly. My thought as to who was in the passenger seat is probably Annie and I'm sad about it because I feel that it would be better if it was Tyler, like it would make more sense. But if Annie is injured then the show can use that for drama, with the burgeoning Annie/Tyler relationship and to further animosity between Annie and CC. In the book series Annie spent the second book in the hospital for a different reason and I think that the show might borrow a lot of that plot line for her recovering from a car accident, if they intend for Dana Sue to have the same plot line and HEA as in the books. I don't want them to though, but I think they are going to keep it because it's a romance series and when people watch movies based on romance books they expect the core couples to remain the same. But, with the cheating issue they are probably going to have to muddy the waters more to make it seem like Dana Sue overreacted, I don’t think they should though, I want Dana Sue to get together with Hot Farmer. But lesigh, Dana Sue's probably going to get back together with the cheating ex and the show will likely have Annie in the hospital to give them time to bond and hold hands and whatever by her bedside. I hope they decide to change the details as to what Ronnie did to make Dana Sue leave him because like if it's straight up cheating I don't think i could support that because its like Bill cheated and he’s a selfish ass for that, should not be forgiven. Check, I agree on this point. Then you have Ronnie, who also cheated, but he’s not a selfish ass (because…?) and he should be forgiven… why? The show is going to go into why/how Ronnie is different from Bill and make a case for why he deserves forgiveness and show him earning it. I would rather see Dana Sue and Jeremy get together but probably it's going to be Dana Sue and Ronnie.

I think that Tyler being the character who is in this passenger seat would make a more interesting situation because if he's in the accident and he's injured then it might foster a situation where CC and Annie have to work together to support him or whatever and they can get to know each other without the level of jealousy that we've seen between them previously. I also worry about the potential of a ‘and reality ensues’ plotline of the situation with your kid illegally driving a car while emotionally disturbed and harming or nearly killing someone else’s kid. In situations that like that people tend to look for people to blame and it would be rational for Dana Sue and Ronnie to blame Maddie and Bill for their daughter's injuries and for that matter for any parent to feel that Maddie and Bill should be held responsible for their son's actions, but if it's Tyler then you know there's no one to be mad that isn’t already involved. it makes the situation more straightforward, or rather more simple to have only one family involved, I guess. And then there's no reality ensues plot and the town taking sides and gossip and legal actions between families for damages, or medical bills, and the Townsends lose their house and the friendships over because Annie was hurt so bad and blah blah blah and it's just not as interesting to me if you have something obvious like where there’s a forgone conclusion about what will eventually happen which is the destruction of the friendship, which is the best part of the show or you'd have to like blatantly ignore the natural reaction of a mom when her child’s been hurt, ‘no Dana's not going to blame her friend for this she's going to blame...someone else’, idk. It's just not rational or reasonable to me but if the only set of parents whose children were harmed is Bill and Maddie and it's clearly an accident Kyle did not mean for this then I feel like the show can be more interesting than just the breakdown of a friendship over a tragic accident. Though I do think that Maddie will one way or the other blame Bill for giving her kid that Goddamn car when she knew her child was not ready for that and if he had asked her she would have said no don't do that Tyler is struggling with rage issues He's going to drive while mad and wrap himself around a fucking pole and that's not exactly what happened but she was correct in principal.

Couples from the books I think the show might actually change is Annie and Tyler. A lot of people have said that Tyler seems like he might be gay or bi and I do think that they might change the core couples of the books for the purpose of adding more diversity to the show. I mean there are LGBTQ characters and there are characters of color but more is better in this case and Tyler would be a different type of gay character, or bisexual, depending on how they decide to play it and i think it would be really good to have more characters breaking stereotypes about gay people. One thing I definitely want to see is CC and Annie becoming friends. Like it doesn't have to happen right away like I'm not saying season two starts and suddenly they're braiding each other's hair and having sleepovers but I would really like them to bond and see them learn to appreciate each other. I’d like for CC and Annie to have to work together and they get to know each other without the level of jealousy that we've seen between them previously like CC totally thinks or perhaps knows depending on your theory about it that Tyler is into Annie and Annie definitely understands that Tyler's more comfortable expressing interest in CC and I think they both want to be what the other is, and I don't think either of them really has learned to appreciate themselves the way you do when you're older and I think that they could you know sort of give each other a crash course in self-esteem and be like ‘of course I want to be you you're fucking amazing’ ‘I’m not amazing, you’re a-fucking-mazing’ and you know that could sort of be the basis for a friendship between them. Like, you know that idea of history repeating itself I'd like for all of the children characters to eventually go off to college and build life and then come back to Serenity and like you know could be a time skip sort of thing and Tyler's had a career in baseball and maybe he's had a career ending injury like in the books or otherwise had some sort of scandal. I sort of like the idea of borrowing the plot from the book where its a cheating scandal, but its CC and his relationship that ends and CC goes back to Serenity with his kid and Annie is there too, and Tyler is juggling trying to build or rebuild a relationship with his son and get visitation and everything, while also dealing with a renewed attraction to Annie, who in this version would be a lost love character. And Annie could be like, “No, we are not starting anything with each other you need to focus on you’re fucking kid, remember how you felt during the whole thing with Bill, that is exactly where your son is emotionally right now, so dont come to me for comfort, go to him and show him you care about him, you ass.” And CC could be bitter and angry, only to discover that Annie is on her side and Annie and CC could become friends through Annie helping CC get her life back on track, maybe Helen could take CC on in her law practice (I feel like CC would be a lawyer or something, but not a practicing one, like she has a law degree, but not an active law licence and she’s actually been a stay at home mom).

Or maybe Tyler's been outed as gay/bi... I don’t really like that but him being forced out of the closet but that could be a career ending scandal and Jackson could be a local business owner (or a teacher at the highschool, this idea just occurred to me) or Annie could have been a renowned photojournalist or just a well known photographer or something. Whoever they decide pair Tyler with I'd like for them to have separated and grown into adulthood separately so they can like meet back up in serenity and get to know each other as adults as Tyler is dealing with this upheaval in his life and his love interest could be the one giving him the tough love, advice and comfort he needs at that point. I think that would be a really good storyline there like he's had his dream come true dreams come true, but not been happy because somethings missing, or he’s keeping this huge secret, or whatever and when it all falls apart he goes home and meets this person from his past.

But I do definitely want CC to come back into it in some way as well and maybe she's like been in serenity the entire time in some sort of analogous role to the role Helen plays in some of the storylines. Maybe she's got a successful practice, maybe it's a little bit bigger than Helen's is portrayed, maybe she travels instead but serenity is still her home base and she supports the community the same way Helen does. I think Annie and CC could be really good friends. Maybe more than friends, if the show decides to go with the fandom preferred, everyone is gay strategy.

Anyways thanks for reading my rant... Please come scream with me about this show.

#sweet magnolias #I don't know what couples i prefer #but I want the plots from the books to be heavily altered #and its kind of weird that i have no strong feelings about Cal #except that he is def better than bill #and bill should feel bad #also good on noreen for leaving him #insert good for her gif here #and jamie lynn spears is supposed to be back for season 2 #so yay for that #I hope she brings her brother too #i liked him #i want season 2 so bad

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localinferiorgood · 4 years

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BNHA Modern Gang AU

*I got bored on a car ride and kind of got overexcited imagining and planning out this AU inside my head so uh, yeah. I should also note that I ultimately decided they would not have quirks in this AU*

General Stuff: - I’ll be referring to the gang as Gang X for now - The kids would go to school and everything like normal kids but after school would have gang training (physical and in weapon use (instead of having quirks) - I want all of the major events of the show to still be incorporated in the AU, in some way - And I want all the kids to have the same personalities and relationships, because its not a BNHA AU if all the characters have different personalities (also I love my babies so) - Everyones “Hero Names” in the show are now their gang names - Instead of striving to become the #1 hero, they’re striving to eventually take over and become the head boss of the gang (at least Bakugo, Deku, and Todoroki are)

School: - So I was imagining the kids would go to a nice private school paid for by the gang - Also a major sports school - It would have mostly normal kids but have 2 classes (in each grade level) filled specifically with the gang kids (like the hero course; the normal kids would be based off the general track in UA) - There are rumors that the school may have gang ties, but no ones ever really been able to prove it - The school nurse (they call her Recovery Girl because it seems like she can take any injury in 15 minutes flat; she even takes care of broken bones and major injuries) and the principal (Nezu; not sure what would be unique about him yet, as he obviously can’t be a mouse in this one) and the gang-class teachers are all aware of the ties to the gang and are in it - So to properly encompass and justify Class 1-A and Class 1-B’s relationship, I was thinking both classes could also be in sports(maybe volleyball,baseball or basketball(require a lot of teamwork) but anything would probably work)?(it would be mandatory as physical training and to strengthen their bonds) - I can’t decide whether I would have Class 1-A be varsity and class 1-b be JV of the same sport or both varsity of different sports.

Support Course/items: - So.... this wouldn’t be an extra class physically in school, but the kids training to work on support items would go to the same private school - Hatsume is still the prodigy - Support tailors weapons and sometimes clothing/other stuff to fit specific people - Like they can tailor a specific gun to fit your hand, and can lower how much the gun kicks. They can do the same for knives, tailoring them to be the perfect length and weight for the user, as well as fitting perfectly in their hands. This goes for all weapons as well

“Gang Training”: - This is basically training to be able to be a competent gang member (most kids that get into the private school end up being higher ups) - They do basic physical training (I mean in hand-to-hand combat it helps to be strong, but also to handle the kick from any gun) but also with basic weaponry - The guns they use for training look, feel and have the actual kick of the gun they’re using but only actually shoot paintballs (Mr. Aizawa is a tough teacher but it’s not very rational to kill off all of your students lmao) - They train with all kinds of guns and ammunition, to get a feel for what each one is like and what they like. Aizawa requires them to train with all anyway though, as he believes you should be able to pick any random gun off the ground and shoot it with perfect efficiency and aim. - There’s safety measures for swords and knives too, but I haven’t trained with those so idk what those would be lol

All Might: - I was imagining he would be the boss, or head of the organization, since he’s #1 hero (at least in the beginning) - Like in the beginning of the show, he is secretly sick from an old injury and can only fight for so long before he starts coughing up blood. - He’s still revered as not only the best gang leader ever but also one of the most amazing fighters the underworld has ever seen - But, as he gets older he still needs to find a worthy successor, as he’s definitely not immortal - Believes the boss should still be actively involved in the gang, fighting alongside his men and while some people think it’s foolish, everyone respects and likes him more for it

All Might & Deku: - Obviously, Deku is still his secret chosen successor (or the one he wants to succeed him anyway but it will, in the end, go to the best candidate no matter what) - Deku was (distantly), probably through his father who’s in America, related to Gang X. His grandpa told him about it before he died, and all about All Might, the most impressive man in all the underworld, and has wanted to be just like him ever since - Soooo......I’m not entirely sure about how this part should play out, but I’m thinking maybe Deku was sick? And just couldn’t afford the really expensive procedure? (I’m pretty sure in the show Deku is middle class? So we’d keep it that way) - He by chance meets All Might and asks if he could ever be like him, even with his sickness, and All Might says no - Not sure what would go on to change his mind, but something happens, and All Might decides to pay for Deku’s hospital bills, heal whatever was going on, and personally start physically training him. Probably would make him clean up the whole ass beach still lmao - After the “entrance exam” (the physical part which happens after the standard school written at a secret location), Deku gets in by the skin of his teeth

Endeavor&Todofam: - uhhhhhhhhhhh........ - So he’s always wanted to be gang leader, but has always been behind All Might - He’s even tried duking it out with the boss a couple times but never wins - Not sure if I would make him head of the second most powerful branch of the gang or second in command - Either way he still not-so-secretly hates All Might, although he does grudgingly respect him - Wanted to become better than All Might, not get the top spot from All Might weakening, so he’s still pissed when All Might has to retire and he’s technically the boss now - So, I haven’t been able to decide what Rei had that Endeavor wanted(since no quirks) but I still want it to be a fucked arranged marriage. Maybe she came from “good bloodlines” (like notoriously strong and smart /or people, whether her family was arranged in gang stuff or not) or maybe she was just very pretty and when she refused him, he literally bought off her parents? - Still raised Touya and Shouto specifically to be All Might’s successor - Touya still wasn’t good enough for some reason and something happened to him (weak bones maybe?) and he’s still dead in this AU (or is Dabi whatever the truth really is) - Rei still had a psychotic break and burned Shouto’s eye with boiling water and is in a hospital

Top 10 Heroes: - So I want the top 10 heroes to either be the leaders of the 10 branches of the gang, or the top 10 members of the gang (they have a council or something)

Work Studies: - So in my old high school we were allowed to have a work study class, where we left campus for that hour and worked somewhere of our choosing, - Work studies were a big part of character development in the show so I’d like to keep those if possible - To make things less suspicious, work studies are required for all students (I mean let’s face it of entire classes all had work studies and others didn’t it would be weird). Also, since it’s a nice private school, I can totally see where they’d want the kids to go out and have “real world experience” before leaving high school - I would probably keep the fact that first years typically don’t have work studies (our school didn’t let freshman have them) but they’re trying something different this year - Of course the gang classes would be sent to various gang members (I think they’d still get to choose who, but idk maybe it would be more interesting if the teachers chose for them? - The general classes would go to whatever work study of their choosing, probably based on the careers they want to go into

Sports Festival: - Literal school sports festival - Limited only to those school students, i think - Gang members interested in work studies would come watch and scout - Would it be as internationally famous as the UA sports festival? i dont know tbh

Summer Camp & The Wild Wild Pussycats: - Not sure if here they would be purely working on physical ability and maybe martial arts or on weapons and stuff too - It would depend whether or not the Pussycats knew about the whole gang thing(or if they were involved in it) or were just regular physical trainers with no connection or idea about the gang thing - Kota......I think I would have his parents die in a gang-related accident and, obviously, hate anything to do with gang activity (which is normal anyway). If the Pussycats were not gang-related I’m not sure how the whole Deku-saving-him thing would go down but oh well - The League of Villains would be attacking still, to kidnap Bakugo (for whatever reason)

League of Villains (Gang Y) & All for One: - In a world where there are no “heroes” and “villians”, they obviously can’t go by that name (I mean I guess they can but I feel like that would be kind of stupid and odd) so we’ll go with Gang Y, for now - All for One can’t be immortal in this one, so maybe the gang name just keeps getting passed on from successor to successor? Or he’s just stupidly old(like 100 years old and still kicking ass)? - So, in the underworld, obviously no one is really “good” so to speak, I assume Gang X would still be involved in basic drug deals and stuff like that, but think Gang Y would be involved in some really fucked up shit. Like slave trade stuff maybe? Blood money? - Gang X and Gang Y have been top rivals since both of them started (around the same time) - Gang startup story would be the same as the beginning of the AFO and OFA rivalry in the show (2 brothers with different ideals) - AFO still ends up in jail after the legendary battle in Kamino Ward - So......I’m having trouble with Shigaraki’s backstory since quirks aren’t a thing. Like obviously it would still be a horrific accident but.....yeah you get the point (haha it sucks trying not to spill manga spoilers) - Toga’s backstory would pretty much be the same I think - Spinner would have some deformity or something (since he can’t be a lizard) justifying his backstory - Twice is hard for the backstory thing.....but I would still have some traumatic event that caused him to do the contradicting voices thing - Nomu’s would maybe be like, brainless humans? Still look like flesh and blood humans but essentially be brain dead and only do what AFO tells them to do? Not sure but I’d still like them to be the result of human experimentation. - In Kurogiri’s case.........not sure tbh we’ll work on it - Speaking of Kurogiri, he is like, get away driver/escape artist of the millennia. It’s like him and the rest of Gang Y just disappear into thin air. Even the police have tried to track him but? he’s just....gone? He’s still team mom, by the way, and really the only reason the Gang Y survives tbh (Credit to @tears-of-an-otaku )

Stain: - Goes after and kills gang members (especially higher-ups) that he deems “corrupt” (ones that sit back and make underlings do all the work; rapers; betrayers; ones that are only really in it for the money; etc) - Puts chemicals on his weapons that immobilize his victims; The blood-type thing is still the same (works longer/better on specific blood-types) - Iida still goes after him for disabling his brother, and Deku finds and follows him, and Todoroki ends up coming as back up. - They still don’t get the credit for defeating him “for safety reasons”

Chisaki & Eri: - From a rivaling gang - Not sure how they find out whats going on but they do - Eri, at the very least, is still severely abused, but it would be cool to be able to incorporate using her blood to make some kind of drug - Not really sure about much in this story arc tbh it’s so quirk-based it’s kind of hard to incorporate without them :/

The Licensing Exam: - Another sports festival, but this time with other major sports schools - Gang members come to scout as well - In this one though, the other kids are just competing in a sports festival, but the teachers of the “gang classes” are also watching to determine whether or not their kids are ready to take on more “hardcore”/serious work studies (or even internships), where they would be able to experience what it’s actually like to be in a gang a little more in depth and practice real world fighting (and of course their special skills) - Special thanks to @tears-of-an-otaku for helping me figure this one out!

The Kids: - Like I said I want all the kids personalities and relationships to be the same - Jiro is still super into music and can still play (at least a little bit) a bunch of instruments; She has unnaturally good hearing too. - Bakugo obviously can’t explode things with his hands anymore but has a dangerous interest in explosives (he was actually recommended to join the Support team but he rudely declined); still tells everyone to die on the (way too) regular; also still has the best reflexes in the class - Deku is super strong. Our sweet boy doesn’t look it but is strong af - Koda, still quiet as ever, is super good with animals (but afraid of bugs) - Momo is super good at designing and creating stuff and is very inventive(can always find a solution to a problem); She was also recommended to help in support but she (politely) declined; Still team mom - Iida’s a great runner (probably best at long distance but good at jump about anything)! Back in middle school, he was an absolute track star, but now-a-days with school, his class sports, and gang training, he doesn’t have time for track as well :( ;Still class president and team dad - Kaminari is still our lovable dumbass but is really good with electronics and wiring anything. - Shinsou obviously can’t actually mind control, but he’s a super smooth talker and can convince almost anybody to do anything for him, so it can kind of seem like he controls people. - Kirishima is an icon when it comes to defense training, he can block almost anything. He also never seems to get bruises. The rest of the class lowkey hates him for it because while, at the end of the day, they’re covered in bruises, Kirishima’s got maybe one (but usually not even that). He dyed his hair because he thought it made him took tougher and less boring - Aoyama is still into the ridiculously shiny, which is horrible for stealth practice, but he has this trick where he (maybe with a bracelet or something? Or a belt bc of his iconic belt in the show) can blind his opponent with the light reflecting off the metal and go in for an attack in that moment. It’s surprisingly effective. - Oijiro may not have a tail, but he still excels at martial arts.He even rivals Bakugo (he might be able to win if Bakugo played by the actual martial arts rules that Oijiro was taught but he won’t) - Sugar makes Sato really energetic really quickly! (and for some reason makes him focus better). He’s still a super good cook and baker - Shouji still wears a mask all the time (he has a medical condition with his mouth that’s kind of gross and tends to scare people). He “talks with his hands” using sign language! He’s been teaching the rest of the class, as Aizawa said it was a very useful skill to have, especially in a situation where they need to be quiet but still communicate. - Hagakure, for whatever reason, is amazing a stealth missions! She’s somehow really good at blending into the background and even Jiro can’t hear her when she walks (unless she’s really focusing on it). Top of her class in it, actually. - Mineta still isn’t that good in actual battle but is really good at simple immobilization (sorry the only thing I could think of for him even a little bit related to his quirk). - Ururaka (while not as strong as Deku), is surprisingly, incredibly strong. She can pick almost anything up and make it seem like the thing’s totally weightless (even when she’s actually struggling, something Deku can’t do) - Sero is the master of Duck tape really good at fixing stuff! It seems like he can fix almost anything; Him and Momo team up a lot when something breaks (which, in Class 1-A, is surprisingly often *cough* Bakugo *cough*); (Sorry, couldn’t really think of anything for him either but tape=fixing things? maybe?) - Mina is really into chemistry, specifically corrosives and hazardous mixtures. Her and Bakugo once teamed up after school and tried to make something - Aizawa said if they ever teamed up to do anything in the chemistry lab again they were going to be banned from it; Mina still has pink hair - Tokoyami has a pet raven that follows him everywhere-literally everywhere. It was a problem at first, but the school eventually decided to let Tokoyami keep it as long as it wasn’t making a mess anywhere and not attacking students (everyone else is lowkey mad about it like why does he get to keep a pet? Nezu tries to pass it off as an “emotional support bird” but everyone knows that’s bullshit); The bird (whom Tokoyami’s emo ass named Dark Shadow for some reason) can actually attack on cue! Actually, he kind of constantly has to be watched otherwise he might attack someone on the random (it’s happened; he seems to pick up on Tokoyami’s emotions somehow and if Tokoyami gets mad well.....; He has in particular had trouble Aoyama and all his sparkly things); The bird can actually send messages too! Tokoyami refuses to say how or why he trained his bird to do this but since no one expects such an old fashioned way of sending a message, it’s extremely useful for high secrecy messages (and packages; actually the actual gang has used it a time or two, a fact Tokoyami is secretly proud of). (Credit to @agaxso) - Todoroki is, not quite an expert, but has a weird amount of knowledge on arson and burning things (not sure why a gang would really need a skill like this except to burn bodies beyond recognition but Endeavor specializes in it so it must be useful somewhere); He also has an extensive knowledge of using polyoxacyclobutane mixtures(liquid nitrogen definitely and maybe some other things?) to freeze things at whatever temperature (I think he’d probably shoot bullet-like things out of a modified gun; Freezing the target when it hits. Here’s a link explaining basically how polyoxacyclobutane works); He has practice with the modified gun from training with his father, but his mom was the one that originally taught him how to make and use the bullets properly.(Credit to @agaxso) - Monoma can do anything almost perfectly after watching someone else do it once. Unfortunately, he has a really horrible memory so he only retains the information for like an hour then has to watch them do it again. Still an annoying asshole - Kendo is tough as hell! Specifically has really tough hands/knuckles. The One Punch Man of class 1-B, she is literally known for being able to knock people out in only a punch or two. She once smacked Monoma and he had a wicked bruise on his cheek for 2 weeks. She still maintains that she “didn’t even hit him that hard” - Awase is an amazing welder! He was another candidate for the support team, but after some consideration he declined - Tetsutetsu, like Kirishima, has ridiculously tough skin that never bruises, and has amazing defense - I don’t really know enough about class 1-B to finish this unfortunately - Aizawa and Vlad actually put special time aside for the kids to practice and hone their specific skills and learn how to put them to use in battle. After all, you should use everything you have in your arsenal in real battle, and unique/special “skills” can be extremely useful in battle and often pack the element of surprise and can easily but you above whoever your fighting, (especially if they don’t have any special attacks)

Soooo......if anybody would like to write out this AU for me and help fill in the blanks I would love you forever and also probably owe you my life because I have absolutely fallen in love with this AU. Also let me know if I missed anything or you have ideas for the stuff I couldn’t fill in and I’ll put it in (and credit you of course lol) @todorokitops I know you’re a pretty well known Tumblr fanfic writer so......know anybody who might be up for the challenge?

#bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bnha au #bnha gang au #gang au #mha gang au #modern gang au

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

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im sorry im not rly in the BE hype atm :((

rant coming which has nothing to do w the album but everything w stress nd fatigue nd crying nd more job stress nd sensory overload and me turning everything into a worse issue in my head etc etc

i was this morning when i saw the mv nd watched the vlive but i obv slept way too few bc i went to bed late nd woke up early for the live and i had to rush a lot w errands nd an appointment w my autism coach nd at said appointment we called a dude from the municipality to inquire abt jobcoaches nd it turned out we misunderstood what jobcoaches are as they are who u get referred to when u have a job, nd the guy found it hard to figure out what type of trajectory(?) would best fit me for help nd now i have time to think abt it and will speak him again in 2 weeks or sooner if i want to. im just so tired nd a bit hungry and on edge and one sec, im in the side of the house tht faces kids playing around aka screeching as if theyre dying every second nd its majking me only more on edge!!!!

but urgh i cried so bad during the appointment and was prob way too rudde to her before the appointment, bc she talks loudly nd sounds rude nd confronting but just naturally bc ofher tone nd language nd urghgh h thikning abt jobs nd trying to talk nd not cry too hard when trying to explain stuff to the man over the phone was rly hard, like obv its fine if he knows im crying but its just hard to talk when crying nd im just so devastated thinking abt jobs!! i dont know what type of job i could handle nd it feels like im making everythig up bc i did somehow finish two studies in uni and im privileged enough w education and whiteness tobe more easily selected for a job by e.g. last name on my cv and i shouldnt be this picky but god i cant handle smth as physically demanding and underpaid as this, im tired 4/7 days that im not working nd what i earn in those 3 days is still not enough to cover rent bc they pay only for the delivery time itself instead of more hours!!! it just feels like wtf am i doing bc the municipality guy did admit im not the usual person he works w bc i had an education, as if i dont belong in the group but its really just an issue of having -100 confidence and no job experience!! like i rly dont strive for a fancy job or ‘’’career’’’, i just bneed something that i can pay my monthly expenses w and have a bit left to save up for e.g. emergencies, additional medical bills (like the 350 euros from the adhd diagnosis and therapy, which my autism coach will contact my adhd therapist abt, like if that bill can be delayed or split up in a payment plan), paying back for loan debt eventually and MAYBE soon god forbid i save up for smth fun. and i “need” the job also to have a daily activity and some structure in my life bc a large part of the reason my schedule is so fucked up is bc i have no more set time tht i need to be anywhere or any strictness or reason to get up nd so i just dont ghhh

im always looking for reasons why i cant do smth and why smth would go wrong and im already looking at every area where getting help w getting a job can go wrong like e.g. me being too stubborn abt companies i dont agree w or me thinking i cant do anything just bc i have not much working experience outside of mail delivery :(

nd then there was this A B C task list system my adhd therapist proposed in wihc i keep track of my most to least urgent + important tasks every day nd we werent sure where to keep track of that kind of list and she suggested sticking a paper to a wall (i think id rather use my wardrobe) to write it on and change or replace that every day and it sounds like a hassle but i rly need to do it every day, nd i can try other methods but thatd be either writing it on my phone but im not always on there nd theres not a type of file i can make that doesnt move back chronologically as i make new notes

ALSO im just very frustrated w myself bc my mom wanted to come over w food and i know she was too sudden w it but if only i left on time for the stores it wouldnt have been an issue. i feel like shes rly sad she couldnt come visit. fucking hell i rushed so much back and forth from the stores that i forgot to put the leftover letters from work yesterday into the outdoor mailbox and i already stress abt this bc my current teamcoach (aka manager) is more stricter w this stuff nd recently asked for a statement / explanation by me on why there were 29 letters w/o sticker from a route i did counted from the collected mail that were in outdoor mailboxes, and i did not do that but my only alibi / reason for not making that huge mistake was that i hadnt posted any mail yet that day and obv he wasnt happy w that. i sometimes had dreams / nightmares recently where i was late again or fucked up w a new route and got fired for it and thats quite an awful scenario / fear to me bc thats exactly why my dad was fired by his previous employee, for being late too often nd we’re the exact same. it just sucks bc i know many ppl who worry abt being late arrive to early at shit bc lol anxiety but i still arrive late every day WHILE being stressed abt it nd my whole fucking issue is that i need to break w bad patterns MYSELF, like whether i get help for autism stuff or adhd or sleep or whatnot, the homework / assignments / tasks / advice they give me, in the end i still need to be the one to do it and push through and make a change or put more effort into not going continuously back to the same distractions or demotivating black-white thinking

just URGH im so easily annoyed nd sensitive, also as in sensitive on a tactile level nd it doesnt help tht my room is a mess nd im super stinky from bts BE excitement and from squeezing my skin a lot last night, nor does the fact that i have rly bad coordination / awareness of my surroundings nd continuously bumping into shit or getting caught on smth help, which is also another reason im just so slow at work bc if i try to walk or deliver mail faster i keep end up bruising nd tripping or tear my hands on all these hard to move or sharp mail box slots if im not careful nd slower, which does still happen but not as bad when im careful

im also rly dizzy rn from haing slept too few and just urgh i “need“ a stupid fucking job, i need the money i need the structure but my god does actual labour and having to deal w colleagues every day and trying to keep up w stuff and be fast and precise enough in whatever the job is, sound horrifying hhhgghgh

OK RANT OVER IM SICK OF ME TALKING SO MUCH

#rambles #i dont even feel like explainig any of this stuff more if it was unclear #bc trying to re-tell what ppl from bureaucracies told me and each nd every thing explained is so complex

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lemoneyesour · 4 years

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This is going to be long af, this isn’t the whole tea I didn’t want this rant to be too long.

I think the hardest part about being a Libra is learning that I’m not always going to be able to explain my side of situations to people. There are always two sides to a story and sometimes the wrong side is louder. I have to learn to be content with the fact people will perceive me differently because of the words of another.

That sometimes people will dislike me without knowing me. Sometimes it’s better just to be quiet. And since you decided to make our personal affair public in order to gain the sympathy from other and reassurance that you a “good person”. I’ll voice my side of things too, but I choose to do it on a platform where no one know who tf I am, and most likely only 1 person will read this.

Back in December I found out some troubling news and I was lost. My friend lent me $100 to help me out with it (I’m pretty sure she offered the money but I don’t 100% remember) I accepted because she was genuine about it and I figured why not. After everything got taken care of, I became a little distant. I was unemployed, stressed about money and just started a new relationship. I didn’t speak to her as much as I had before. When she reacted out to talk I would reply until I felt the conversation naturally died down. So a lot of times that meant I left her on read after a little bit of talking.

One day she reached out to me and showed her concern. She missed me and wanting to hangout. I told her my situation and that I needed time to heal. When I go through a stressful patch, I like to be alone a lot of the time to self reflect. She told me she unstood and then that would be enough until she would message me saying the exact some things she did last time. I was patient and calm with her.

I was very frustrated because I had even more money problems, I was unable to pay my car insurance which led to my license being suspended. I was unaware that it was suspended so I naturally get Pulled over by a cop because I didn’t have my lights on when it was cloudy. He informed me my insurance wasn’t valid and my license was suspended. So I got a ticket of $160, had to pay off my backed insurance and buy new insurance. Then I had to pay $150 to get my license reinstated. Which I had to paid for two paychecks to do, so I had to get rides from coworkers to work for three weeks, I was late to work serveral times. Then my phone broke, I didn’t have one for a week. So a lot of times I was unable to call my job ahead of time to tell them I was going to be late. While also dealing with bills, stress and the same situation happening AGAIN that caused me to borrow money in the first place.

One day she messages me about how I “obviously do not want to be friends with her and I could have just said something about it instead of ignoring her and that she needs to know when I will pay her back.” She sent messages like this a couple more times, honestly her passive aggressive comments and inability to see the situation wasn’t about her, but rather me and my mental state, made me not want to hangout with her... I didn’t like how she was manipulating things. I decided to open up to her about everything that happened to be in the last month. Maybe if I tell her specifics she will be more understanding. I am kinda private about these things.

So I could try to give her $20 a paycheck Until it’s paid off. I told her how I was mentally drained and couldn’t really carry on a conversation with anyone let alone make the time to hangout. I tried my hardest to express to her that i wasn’t avoiding her, that I simply needed space. My best friend of 8 years randomly stopped talking to me and never explained why, so I understand how it feels to be left In the dark or feel abandoned by someone you love. She told me she understood and hoped I was well.

After about a month, all my bills where paid off, I got my car situation fixed, I was feeling better mentally, I was ready to open up again and hangout. Then I got a message from her saying (this is the exact message)

“OK so I’ve given you six months, and you’ve not really tried to be friends with me or talked to me, so I’m just guessing you do not want to be friends. I understand having to work on yourself but fuck Hannah. I’d rather you just be honest with me. At this point I just need the money for my medicine for my face, plus my car payment. So please get back with me as soon as possible.”

At this time it had only been 4 months, not that it really matters. I had been nothing but honest with her over the last couple of months. I wanted her to feel validated and reassured about my feelings. I explained my side again and even showed her where I had explained it all to her before (she stated I could have just told her things where tough, and she would have understood. I LITERALLY DID 3 TIMES) she replied with “I don’t give a fuck about that lame ass conversation, I want my money”

That’s when I realized it wasn’t about our friendship to begin with, all she cared about was the money. If you aren’t talking about something that is upsetting you, you don’t just randomly blow up on someone one day. (In this situation being if she really missed me, then why did you change tone so quickly and start using the money against me??)

I told her I had no idea me not posting her back when I said I would (because things went to shit so quickly after I told her that) would anger her this much and cause problems in our friendship. I didn’t know money was that important to her. (I know it’s money but to me lending someone money isn’t a big deal. I don’t lend someone money with the expectation of them paying me back because we are friends)

She never communicated that to me.

At this point I was going to pay her back, but when she started coming at me I got mad. When I get mad I get petty. So I just didn’t pat her back, and I know that was peak lt childish.

All she does it talk about how she gets fucked over all the time, or how she is such a great person or friend. Even in our arguments she kept stating that. IF UR A GOOD PERSON U DONT NEED PEOPLE REASURRING YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA ALL THE TIMEE. I can’t stand immature adults who can’t understand their friends are their own people and they have lives. I don’t always reply to my friends and my friends don’t always reply to me, in my eyes we are friends until one day we tell each other we aren’t. I don’t care if we haven’t talked In year. I guess that’s what I get for befriending a insecure, emotionally underdeveloped paranoid doo doo head.

So the reason I’m posting this is because she reached out to me AGAIN. Demanding I pay her back and then proceeded to make a status about me on Facebook so everyone knew what had happened. I was able to actually talk to her again, express what had actually happened. But come more from a sympathetic approach. Maybe if I do that she will actually be willing to listen to what I had to say. It worked and we sort of patched things up. But she left the status up, she wanted people to know she was hurt and there was a big meanie out there who had her $100. (FYI I haven’t had a job in two minutes this because of COVID and $100 isn’t shit. Sorry it’s not, she’s made that money back so many times now. She’s just trying to get me with whatever leverage she has)

One thing I can’t stand is having people force feed a biased narrative of my character. They don’t know the other side, and they probably never will. They will only see me as a lair, user, theift. It hurts

I know I didn’t handle the best way possible, but she isn’t as blameless as she is leading people to believe

If anyone actually read all of this and you want to know the rest I’ll definitely tell it 😂

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misilidora · 4 years

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AMTA

My roommates have what I perceive as a toxic relationship. He is in constant control over her she's no aloud to workout unless he tells her she can, she's not aloud to watch watch TV shows or movies (netflix hulu disney plus or cable) without his approval, we are a big video gaming household, she is not aloud to play any game without his immediate approval, he found out that we had played mario cart on my game system on my tv and she got yelled at for playing the game without him, if he is playing a game she is required to stop what she is doing and watch him if she misses somthing or has questions she gets yelled at for not paying enough attention. She is required to prepare all of his meals without fail if she fails she is yelled at and forced to pay for a grubhub meal for him. She has to do all the cleaning, he lives like a slob no matter what so there is always somthing to clean. She is not aloud to eat any snack food. She payes for all the food for both of them and all cleaning supplies. All of his money is used for him and him alone. All affection is initiated by her and he constantly points out her failings, if she says or does somthing that "upsets" him he guilt trips her. A good example, the other day we were hanging out in the gaming room talking about the origin of a game title and she asked him if he knew and he said no so she responded with, oh well it's not like you know everything I was just curious, to which he responded well I'm sorry you think I'm a fucking idiot you shouldn't talk to me like that. She got quiet and didn't speak for a few hours but looked like she knew she did somthing wrong.

The other problem is they can both be incredibly selfish people. It is 100% my way or the highway with them and they both get pissed off and take it out on everyone and each other when they get outvoted on house matters such as being aloud to open windows while we are in the house, he says no because we can get robbed (again while we are in the house) the rest of the house said yes because we dont want to play for the A/C when its 75 degrees out and really nice and he lives in the basement which is already 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the house and has windows for ventilation as well. After he was outvoted he turned on the A/C in the middle of the night and argued when the bill came in high and we all refused to pay the extra because he did somthing that as a house we agreed not to do. She is incredibly needy and needs constant reinforcement that she's doing a good job. Her parents never taught her to cook and whenever he wants somthing special she expects me to drop everything I am doing and immediately help her no matter what.

They also recently got a new cat and made up a bunch of new rules regarding it and the basement. Our laundry room and game room are in the basement so we have to go down there to do laundry and play group games, some people keep there computers in there at all times but I wont because I don't trust there selfishness, no one is aloud to go down to the gaming room unless one of them is home and says you can go down and I will not be told that I can not use my own property They will only allow 1 other person besides themselves down there at a time as to not scare the cat. So if one of the other housemates is downstairs and someone else has to do laundry then the person downstairs has to stop what they are doing and go up to let the other person go down.

Also I believe what they are doing with the cat is borderline animal abuse. It's not aloud upstairs which means it never sees the sun or even knows when day and night is so it constantly reverse cycles and they complained that it keeps them up at night.

One of the other roommates has a cat also and the too cats are not aloud to meet because they sont want there cat to grow up as independent as the 1st cat. So if the 1st cat bolts downstairs while we are trying to get through the door with our laundry then we get screamed at for letting it happen. Their cat hasn't tried to climb the stairs yet because it keeps getting sprayed by the water bottle and screamed at every time it tries.

I want to say somthing but I feel like it's not my relationship so I have no right to say anything. Should I say somthing?

So we have 1 year left on our lease and in 9 months I am going on a 1 year deployment. As I have a military contract I can get out of my lease as soon as my deployment notice comes up the only problem is that it would screw over the rest of the household and raise there rent but I am very tempted to do so because he wants me to pay " my equal portion" of the bills while I am underway and I am not paying for somthing I am not using again. When I got back from my last 3 month mini deployment he made me pay for the utilities and such that I was not there for but he said well you agreed to pay for your portion but if I'm not there then there is no "my portion". I can move all my things to storage. Should I get out of the lease right before I leave so that I won't have to deal with him. Or just pay the 3 additional months of rent and bills just to appease him?

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shawn-mendes-post · 5 years

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Secret Relationship

A/N: Hi, I do not own anything. I just had this idea. Sorry if you don't like certain celebrities that I said. I tried to have a range so there at least would be one celeb. Also a oneshot.

Y/N being a famous actress and singer was currently getting ready for an interview with James Corden. She is hoping it would just be an interview, but with James you can never be 100% sure. She put on a sexy sequin lace mesh embroidery backless dress that left very little to imagine.

She sits in the pink room, roaming Instagram, hearting different post. She smiles as she sees a picture of her boyfriend, Shawn. They were currently dating for a year and no one had any idea. It was for the best because they didn't want to deal with media taking things out of proportion.

Y/N being an American Horror Story and being a romantic interest to Evan Peters would not be good for the relationship. She did wished they could be open about their relationship and didn't have to see fans shipping him with Camila Cabello.

Sighing, she hears her name being called. She stood in high heels, wobbling from standing so quickly, makes her way to the stage. She waves and high fives the audience members that were close. She could already picture the surprise on her boyfriend's face since he was helping James out for the week.

" Hello! I can't believe you are actually here. " James said, giving her a hug. " Well, I couldn't deny your invitation. I love your show so I immediately said yes," she replied, glancing at Shawn's shocked face. They both move to sit down, ( Y/N) smoothing out her dress.

" It's amazing that you moved to America from London when you were 16. How do you feel?"

" Homesick at times since most of my family is in London. I'm also grateful for this opportunity to work here and meet some wonderful people. I do go back to London when I'm touring. So it's been a roller coaster from being a simple girl and now going on tours or shooting in movies. It's been fun and I can't wait to see what happens in the future ."

The audience cheers as James looks at the cue cards. " Yes, I understand. We know that you have many and I mean many celebrity crushes," James said, laughing lightly as he watches her blush. " Who is your top 5?"

" Oh, that is hard. I love all of my crushes," she said, glancing at Shawn, wondering if she could say them. She knew he would get jealous at times when she rambled about one of the celebrities.

Shawn nod his head slightly, knowing he can't stop her from answering James. He didn't understand why he didn't know she was going to be on the show. 'She never said anything.'

" Harry Styles would be one because he is simply amazing. I never really listened to one direction, but when he went solo, I was falling. I actually have his album and would listen to it nonstop." Her cheeks flush as she bites her lower lip. Chuckles could be heard in the audience as they knew how that must have felt. " Emma Watson because why not? She is amazing and a role model to other little girls. I grew up with her and always wanted to meet her. "

" Ah, you a Harry Potter fan? You know Shawn is?" James asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Y/N laughs and nods her head as she admits she is a big Harry Potter fan. Shawn could feel his cheeks heat up at the mention of being a fan of Harry Potter. The two of them would always have a marathon with the movie when they both weren't so busy.

" Bill Skarsgård because he is hot. Like I love Cumberbatch, but Skarsgård has more sharp define cheeks. He has a jawline for days," she said, seductively, eyes flutter as she says the line from AHS. Cheers could be heard from the audience when they hear the familiar line. James was laughing at how she said it so wonderfully. " Wow. Amazing. "

Shawn shift as he felt a little jealous that she hasn't mentioned him. He knew that she was trying not to let anything slip about the two, but it still hurtled him listening to her talk about other guys.

" The last two? You are almost done. Then we could move on to the game we are about to play. "

" I would say Tom Holland,but I have a family member who loves him. So for respect to them I won't say him. Let me think. " She ponders, thinking about the last two people she would say. " I feel like if I say any one of my Costars it would be cheating. I do love Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Jessica Lange, etc, but I would not count that. "

Her eyes lit up as she knew one person she didn't say. " I can't believe I didn't say his name. Nick Robinson because of Love, Simon. I would watch that movie all the time and always cry for about a good hour or 2 after the movie was done. My boyfriend always asked me why I put myself through the pain. I just love the moive and I love the message behind it," she sniffled, not really thinking about what she just said.

It was silent as Y/N tries to contain her sniffles. She looks at James as he stares at her in shock. Tilting her head, she didn't know what she said wrong. Turning to look at Shawn his face was completely white as if he saw a ghost. " Did you say boyfriend?" James asked, knowing he heard correctly.

Freezing, she stared at Shawn with big doe eyes filled with fright not knowing what to say. She then glance at her manger, Liam. He was shaking his head as if not to say anything about it. " Well, I wouldn't say boyfriend..." she started, trailing off as she didn't know what to say. " We are just really close friends who hang out a lot. Most of my friends tease me about him being my boyfriend. I just say boyfriend so it is easier to introduce him," she said with a shrug, smiling fakely at James.

" That is a load of shit. How can you say you dont have a boyfriend? Maybe, I need to hook you up with Shawn. I mean you are hot, he is hot. The two of you would be smoking together," James said, giving her a look. He turns around to face Shawn to see Shawn's face was completely red. James didn't know if it was from embarrassment or anger.

" Let's move on. " She wiggles in her seat as she tries to get away from the topic. She could already see Shawn's mad face and knew they would fight as soon as they got home. " Lastly, it's hard to pick one more. I mean I love Eddie Redmayne, Nick Kroll, Pete Davidson, Callum Turner, Dylan Minnette and more." She groans as she nibbles on her lower lip a bad habit she picked up when she is nervous. " I guess John Mulaney because he can make me laugh. There is just something about him that can make any awkward conversation into something funny. I feel like it would be amazing to hang out with him. "

James nod as he knows what she is talking about. " Well, that was more then 5. I did make a mistake telling you to only pick 5. Next we are going to play Flinch with Shawn Mendes and Y/N.

After the show Y/N stayed around taking to James because she didn't want to go home yet. James was always laughing and joking which made her feel more calm and relaxed. Her manager came saying they need to get back because she will be busy in the afternoon. The drive was silent between the two, not awkward but a comfortable silence.

" Will you be okay at home? I saw how Shawn looked. "

She turns to her manager and laughs slightly. " I'll be fine. I'll call you if I need you." She slips out as she makes her way to her flat she had. Outside, she could see the lights on and that worried her.

" Shawn?" She asked, entering the flat, dreading what is about to come. Shawn was currently on the couch, arms crossed as he watches the door. " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slip up. I wasn't thinking. I didnt even know I was going on James's show until to late. Baby, dont give me that look. "

He looked like a kicked puppy, staring with his hazel eyes. " Why didn't you say my name? I can forgive you for slipping up. I can't believe you lied about our relationship. Just friends right?"

Grunting, she takes off her shoes, throwing them to the side. Her hands run through her hair a habit she picked up from Shawn. " I panicked. I knew you didn't want others to know about our relationship. "

" I didn't want that? No! It was you who said to keep it a secret. I want everyone to know we are together. I want to go out on dates with you. Shower you with love! Tell everyone that you are mine." Shawn yelled, getting frustrated.

" I'm sorry, I didn't want others to know. You know how the media will react. Especially, when I'm working with Evan. You could barley watch the little clips I show you. You know a lot of people ship me with Evan. As many fans ship you with Camila."

" I don't care about that. I love you and I am with you. So what. I'm the one that kisses you for real. I'm the one that makes you moan my name," Shawn spoke, moving closer towards her. He leans and captures her lips agaisnt his in a rough kiss. His hands on her hips, bring her closer towards him.

He pulls back, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. Nibbling as to leave his mark on her. " Everyone is going to know you are with me. " She moans as he bites her sensitive spot. His hands trailing under her dress as he flicks a finger against her clit.

To be continued....

Maybe.

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surprisebitch · 5 years

Note

Game of Thrones endgame survivors? GO!

AIGHT!! *cracks knuckles*

oh before this… SPOILERS AHEAD!!! GO SCROLL DOWN PAST THIS POST if you’re still catching up! I dont wanna spoil this awesome series for you. Also if you were not aware, i tag every GoT post as #got and this includes spoilers!!!!

anyway… this has a Read More link too but i’m not sure if this will be hidden on mobile but yeaah lets gooo

>>>

Survivors

Tyrion (100%) - i am really confident Tyrion will survive. he has been portrayed as a good character. he’s the black sheep of the Lannisters, so i feel his history and background will give him a good chance of surviving

Samwell (100%) - a healer must survive. he will be the one to write about this Great Winter battle. i also theorise he will be narrating this story in the end!

Bran (100%) - he’s the 3 eyed raven. it’s kinda argued that Bran is actually already dead and he’s just been possessed by a different entity. so yeah, i dont see why he will die when he’s already the omniscient being

Arya (100%) - i am very confident Arya will survive because she is arguably the strongest in combat at this rate. i do hope there will be a showdown between her and the Mountain! I wanna see her kill him but i think it will be a battle between The Hound and The Mountain.. it will be poetic for sure

Sansa (80%) - i have a good feeling Sansa will survive because she is the most passive character. In all survival games and stories, THERE IS ALWAYS A PASSIVE CHARACTER WHO SURVIVES. Also, she is arguably the smartest person in Westeros already. Margaery and Olenna died and they are smart too. Sansa in this way has already embodied the smart people who died including Catelyn, her mother. I don’t see why in a narrative standpoint, this does not make her a logical survivor. That being said D&D are unpredictable too.. So I won’t put 100% survive but her chances are good imo

Jon (80%) - a jock-type of character must survive and Jon fits the bill lol also he has been named a Bastard for too long. He also got resurrected last time so at this rate he probably immortal already. A Targaryen must survive and I dont see any reason why Jon won’t make it. Unless his purpose is fulfilled in season 8 and he dies

Gendry (90%) - i know he will be a key character somehow. He is the last Baratheon right? Maybe he could get married to Arya too in the end

Davos (60%) - he is good-hearted and kind. I would love to see him survive but I am not sure if that will qualify him as a survivor

Missandei (50%) - we need an interpreter to survive!!!!

Dies

Cersei (100%) - it will be Poetic that’s for sure

Jamie (90%) - i have a theory he will kill Cersei then kill himself.. But maybe he gets killed by a Walker from saving Tyrion then there will be bromantic last words from him to his brother

The Mountain (100%) - i want Arya to kill him!!!! David and Goliath style please! but maybe it’s The Hound who will maim him then Arya will deal the finishing blow

Daenerys (90%) - the series has been built as if it was Dany’s story to begin with and she is gonna be the ruler of the Iron Throne. I am not gonna say her journey was easy but Dany had a rather breezy journey. Also, by the looks of it, she could be undergoing a dynamic development where she seems to be the protagonist in the beginning then gets blinded by power. We already saw that she has burned innocent people for refusing to bow down. My theory honestly is she will be the Night Queen or something will trigger her into going mad.

her visions show a throne made of ice and snow.. I really cant see any other explanation to what she saw in Season 2.

Emilia Clarke also described the ending as bittersweet. in this context, it seems that this will concern Dany. at the same time though, i actually liked Dany but we wil see how her story evolves. I do know she will make it until the last episode but she will most probably die.

Beric (90%) - he has been resurrected many times. it’s only fair that he dies eventually. he will die after he fulfills his purpose that’s for sure.

Jorah (80%) - he will die due to his loyalty to Dany. the man is practically IN LOVE

Varys (80%) - “we will die in this foreign place” i believe he said that to the Red Priestess last time. he will surely die. probably from a Walker

Theon (80%) - he also suffered a lot and i believe his suffering will end if he dies tbh and i think it will be an atonement type of death

Yara (80%) - as much as i want her to survive.. she’s gay LOL GoT hates gay people RIP unless they are aware about it and want a token gay survivor.. well that’d be great

Greyworm (90%) - he will die saving Missandei!!!

Brienne (60%) - she has a chance to survive because she is strong but she could die trying to sacrifice her life for somebody

Tormund (60%) - same chance as Brienne. i have a guess theyre gonna kiss later this season lol

Melisandre (100%) - surprise bitch! she will make a return and will die to fulfill her purpose

hmmm i guess that covers everyone??? i had fun answering this!!!

#got #game of thrones #got theory #got theories #spoiler #spoilers #Anonymous

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edwardslostalchemy · 5 years

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I'm sorry that your parents are homophobic I can only imagine what that must do to your mental health and your relationship with them

I don't want to say it's alright, but I've lived with it for years. At this point, I'm so used to it that when I'm with classmates or strangers that talk shit about lgbt+, I'm not affected by what they say. So I have developed a thick skin thanks to what I've gone though. I even brush off homophobic remarks from my aunts and uncles. So with other people, their opinions don't matter. Unfortunately, wht my parents say does matter to me. I want for them to accept me for who I am. I want to feel valid by their standards.

[[MORE]]

I've developed depression and anxiety partially because of this (the other factors being I had to give up my dream career and because I felt like a failure). So I had a lot of feelings of inadequacy. I've not felt like I'm good enough. Because of my family's remarks, I couldn't handle it because they would gang up on me. My brother was the primary instigator of the arguments I had with my family. He would start it off with really homophobic statements and I was so upset but I would argue back and he'd pull out cards like "would you want your kids to be gay?" And id be like "there's nothing wrong with that. I'd love them the same way." It got so bad that I'd get so mad with my family. The arguments sucked so much i wouldn't talk to them. There came a point where I was suicidal for a time and I even tried to take pills in school. I'd cut myself to deal with the emotional pain, but it would just make things worse and I got to a point where I cut my thighs so badly that I couldn't walk right for that day. I had to go out that day, it really sucked.

I came out to my mom as soon as I realized I was bi. I was so scared I wrote it to her and she didn't take it well. She said I was too pretty to be queer. I doubt she still accepts it. Its been 4 years and i dont think she understands how I feel. And I came out to her because I trust her. My mom is my best friend, but this is something I can't talk about because she doesn't take it well.

One time, we had to go to a dinner for my brother. Right before it, the 4 of us got into an argument about gay people and it was 3 against 1 and obviously I was the 1. They all ganged up on me and I got so upset that I skipped out on the dinner. I felt so alone that day. I cried a lot. I told one of my friends what happened and we went out for a walk so I could just let things out. He saved my life. I really needed someone to be there for me and he was there.

I can't talk about something that's really private, but I can say my brother is responsible for this thing that happened and left me really traumatized. Another reason I had depressed and anxiety. I still have it, but it's not as bad these days. Its one of the reasons I can't trust men. I confronted him about this because I dealt with it alone for 10 years and I told him this. And I came out to him and I said that when he and our parents would say harmful things, it really hurt my feelings. I told him about the cutting and the suicide attempts. He said he felt like shit for everything and I forgave him, but the damage was already done.

My dad is the only one that doesn't know. And I don't want to tell him until I have a relationship with a girl. He doesn't need to know yet.

I'm going to be very honest with you. I'm already venting. I'm trying my best to be a good daughter. When my parents need financial help, I don't hesitate to give them money. If they need something, I help them. I try to be kind. I try to show them I'm a good person. I want them to see that I am a person and don't judge me for things like sexuality but rather by my character. My brother is being an absolute jerk and has refused to help them financially, even if some bills are his fault. I get hes married and all, but he made promises he couldnt keep. He said my parents had him, but they can't rely on him. He is making it a lot easier for me to look like the better child. I sound horrible for saying that I'm taking advantage of this situation to push myself up, but I'm also doing it because I genuinely want to help my parents. They wouldn't hesitate to help me.

With this issue that they need help, I have the resources. My mom said that if I EVER need anything, because of this, they will help me from the bottom of their heart. You know the only thing I want from them? I don't want their money or gifts or material things. I just want acceptance. If I have to buy it then so be it. But I just want for them to accept me. That's all I've ever wanted for years.

I'm not well, mentally. I've been unstable for years and it's one of the reasons I become kind of obsessive with things to cope. I've gone to counseling and I've gotten help. But it doesn't make this empty feeling go away. I'm not entirely happy. I've come a long way from feeling worthless, but I still feel like I'm not 100% there yet. I'm still insecure and I feel like I'm trapped and like I'll never find a partner and be happy. I want to believe that in 10 years, I'll be living my best life with my wife and we go on vacation with my parents. But for now, I'll just cry to let things out. Like I said, I haven't felt good in years. I've been used to it, but it's not something I can avoid.

When all this started, I couldn't wait to move out. Nowadays, I don't want to go back to my apartment away from my parents. But if I stay here at home without anything to do, I will lose my mind. So I keep busy. And I do hope that I meet a nice girl in school. And I hope that my parents can accept our relationship. I would be devastated if they didn't. I dont know what I would do. And it terrifies me to thing about. I'm not okay, but man do I want to be.

#anonymous #asks #suicide tw #self harm tw

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g5b3ysjw-blog · 5 years

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