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lynnielovestlou · 10 hours

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ellie fucking you in the middle of the night <3

cw: smut , nsfw , men dni , strap usage , reader sits on ellie's face , dom! ellie , sub! reader , kinda vanilla , reader and ellie's relationship is a secret , y/n used (im sorry) , sitting on ellie's face

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☆⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

the problem is, you dont want to keep things casual. you said it because it felt like a thing you should say when you start fucking your best friend. now, you're lying in bed wearing ellie's shirt, wishing shed sneak down the stairs and crawl in with you.

you try to talk yourself out of it so many times. you'd already almost got caught once. but your body doesn't care and neither does your heart. you want her hands in your hair, her warm skin against your own.

which is why you creep through a dark house and up the stairs, keeping to the edges to avoid any creaking that might wake up joel. one peek into his room at the top of the stairs and you see him sprawled like a starfish. your lips curve up at the sight and then you very, very gently shut his bedroom door before padding down to the secondary bedroom as the opposite end of the hallway.

the door is closed and no light shines from beneath. you twist the handle and walk right in. her curtains are open and ambient light from outside filters in through the massive windows. the door clicks shut behind you and you walk across to the king-sized bed. much like joel, she is all long, muscular limbs stretched out in the middle.

unlike joel, you don't turn away.

you press one knee onto the mattress and crawl in her direction. ellie's breaths are deep, and the entire bed has a faint sandalwood smell. you think you'd settle for just lying here beside her, breathing her in.

instead, you kneel at her side. soaking her in, so relaxed. she looks younger—more carefree—like this.

with one hand, you trail the tip of your fingers over her lips—just like you did every time joel had his back on the two of you. a simple gesture, just to remind her you were there, even if it was for a moment.

ellie's big strong hand flies up, steely fingers wrapping around your wrist, "y/n."

it's not a question. she knows it's you.

"hi."

"what are you doing?" she asks from behind closed eyes.

"touching you."

her lips curve up into a sinful smile, "i thought you wanted to keep things casual in front of joel."

"right." you whisper, "it's just that i thought about it and decided being casual is overrated. i want you to touch me too."

a raspy chuckle spills from her as her green eyes open and dive into your own. chills erupt from the back of your neck, racing down your spine and over your arms.

"so, what now?" she asks beneath a quirked brow.

"i don't know." you suddenly feel nervous. you snuck up there with no plan, only knowing you wanted to be close to her, "do you want me to leave?"

she stares at you extra hard now. it's borderline unnerving. the weight of her stare. the way your stomach flip-flops under her attention. you've never felt this way before.

"no, y/n. i want you up here." her voice is soft and deep as she reaches for you. broad hands circle your waist and you squeal as she hauls you on to her, so you're straddling her torso.

"gonna need you to be quiet, baby." she murmurs as her palms slide up over your quads, tips of her fingers dipping inside your underwear at your hips.

all you can do is nod, lick your lips, and watch how good her hands look roaming over your body.

"n-now what?" you practically stutter.

"now you're going to hold on tight to that headboard, sit on my face, and try to keep your mouth shut while i make you come."

before you can respond, she's moved you up, yanked the gusset of you panties to the side, and has her tongue in your pussy.

you gasp and fall forward, holding the headboard like she instructed, more out of needing something to hold on to than because you're good at following directions.

your head falls back when her teeth graze you clit. she palms your ass and holds you close, like she's eating her favorite fruit. her eagerness does nothing but drive you even more wild.

"hmmm," you hum, trying to cover for the string of expletives currently sitting on the tip of your tongue. your thighs shake with the strain of holding yourself over her and fingers dig in hard.

ellie pulls away, only to grumble at you in that deep tone. "baby, i said be quiet. and stop being polite. i told you to sit on my face." the hand gripping your underwear yanks you down hard so that you're fully seated.

she sucks your clit and your body bows into him. her hand slides up from your ass, over your hip, stomach, and up to your breast, where she gently caresses you. she holds you. touches you.

she gives your nipple a good, firm twist that has you gasping and grinding against her mouth. all the response you get is a satisfied growl against your core as she continues to lick, and suck, and tease.

you ride her shamelessly. she told you to stop being polite, and so you do. you lose yourself in the sensation, the feel of her skin on yours. the smell of her wrapped around you.

there's something empowering in asking for what you want. to be touched when you want. and you're drunk on that—drunk on her—when everything inside you clenches. when that pressure builds so quickly, so intensely, you can't hold back... you shatter.

you feel like you blew apart into a million little pieces. your skin is hot, your eyelids feel heavy. and as much as you try to stay quiet, you can't.

her hand shoots up over your mouth and you slump into it, using her arm to prop yourself up while you cling to the headboard.

"ellie," you whisper as she moves you down. her limbs are moving and there's fabric rustling around you, but you're too incoherent to keep up, "ellie."

"y/n, baby. i told you to stay quiet."

your brain is too addled to care. "more." you fold yourself over her, dropping your head into the crook of her neck and kissing her there. your teeth graze over the lobe of her ear, and you realize she's removed her boxers while you blacked out. and, she had put on her strap that she conveniently kept in her nightstand.

"more?"

you nod, feeling her throat move against your forehead as he swallows. "more."

her hands move firmly, all business, as she removes your underwear. then she sits up, leaning against the headboard and taking you with her.

you can feel her hard length propped against your ass as she positions the two of you.

her eyes stay on your face as she reaches down to grip the hem of her shirt. the one she gave you to sleep in when she walked you to the guest room door and told you it might help you miss her less. right before she smirked that annoying, i'm-right-and-you-know-it smirk of hers.

she wasn't, though. which is why you're here.

your body coils with anticipation again as ellie's gaze rakes over your bare skin.

her hands roam slowly yet purposefully. over your arms, your collarbones. reading you like braille. you think she's always been able to, and you just didn't know it.

"i'm not sure you can handle more, baby." she kisses your chest as your hands move in tandem, feeling her in a way you didn't get to earlier. "you're not very good at keeping quiet."

"i'll be good," you murmur, grinding your pussy back on her and feeling her steely silicon dick twitch against your ass.

suddenly her lips are on your nipples and your hands are raking through her hair. she reaches between the two of you, urging you up onto your knees, you move obediently, and in return, you're rewarded by the sensation of her faux cock sliding against your pussy.

back and forth. back and forth. your eyes flutter shuts she tortures you. one hand grips your shoulder while the other is fisted around her length. you swivel your hips, feeling her crown notch inside you.

"goddamn, honey. you're even better than i fucking dreamed," she mutters roughly. then she shoves herself in, and you bite your lip to keep yourself quiet. because no one and nothing has ever felt this good.

your eyes snap open as your body adjusts. the light sight of her taking you so roughly has the blood thrumming through your veins at a rapid pace. your heart pounding even harder than before.

you stare at each other. her cock is buried deep inside you his.

"move, y/n. show me how bad you want it."

your pelvis undulates because you do want it. you lift and you drop back down, feeling every thick inch of her as you do. reveling in the way her eyes widen before taking on a more hooded appearance.

what starts off slow and deliberate comes apart at the seams. hands that were searching are now gripping.

breathing that was even is now choppy. everything is hot and damp as you writhe together in silence.

you don't need words. they wouldn't do justice to something that feels like this anyway.

"you're gonna come on my cock now, aren't you, baby?" she growls roughly, breathlessly, against your ear. your body shudders in response. "i can tell. your eyes give it away, even in the dark. then every muscle on you goes all tight. you ride me so damn hard. so eager. so warm. so fucking tight."

you're so full of her. her words. her body. it's too much, and right when youre about to go barreling over that edge again, she kisses you soundly, swallowing the sound of you screaming her name as you come.

with a fist full of your hair, she pumps into you hard.

spilling herself, filling you up thoroughly right as your orgasm rocks you. flays you. leaves you slumped in her arms, desperately trying to catch your breath.

you don't know how long the two of you stay like that. you straddling her lap, her cock snugly inside you, clinging to each other and kissing. slow, languid, deliberate kisses that make your throat ache with their tenderness. eventually they slow and ellie tolls you off her carefully.

always carefully. even when she's rough with you, shes so damn intentional. you feel nothing short of pampered with her. and when she gets up to retrieve a warm washcloth, the point is only driven further home.

"what are you doing?" you breathe the words, trying to stay quiet as she comes to kneel between your splayed legs.

"taking care of you."

the warm cloth swipes over your swollen core and you let out a soft moan. "you don't need to do that."

she continues wiping you gently. "but i want to."

you're struck silent by such a simple sentence.

you lie in ellie's bed, letting her take care of you. and when she's finished, she lifts the covers, crawls in behind you, and holds your body against hers all night long.

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babiesunitedofficial · 3 days

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guysss i think i just found another asshole they are SALTEETH🤪 wait wait nevermind they are the same asshole who got banned for killing a poor spider like what did that little thing even do to you!?!?!??! it had a life, it had a family but then you found it and KILLED IT. you are an animal abuser, go die. you do not make sense. you should not have been unbanned. you couldve scretly killed it without posting it on SU😜😜😜😜😜 but you were too selfish to keep it to urself so u posted the dead spider on su and tried to act like some cool criminal😎😎

salteeth consider killing yourself today or tomorrow or anything soon

you dont matter.

the spider actually mattered and had a life unlike you. spiders are children of nature and deserve respect. you do not. spiders follow their insticts and dont do any crap like you did. that poor thing deserved to outlive a jerk like you. i hope you get raped and arrested.

i already have a plan of drawing a NSFW art of you, celestialcrash, absieee and st4tichead together😂😂

as for celestial they suck so much that they have to fake autism for attention. celestialcrash you should be ashamed of yourself. you literally tried to act cool by putting 'high-functioning autistic" in your bio and then making a whole DAMN POST about it because nobody gave a shit

again,

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉nOBODY GIVES A SHIIIT!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

you can go burn in hell with your beloved absieee and arcade😂😂😂😂 both big jerks and assholes who deserve to be groomed.

plus you made 5 alts just to act like you had any fans which one of them got banned for unfunny sex jokes (*cough* Souper *cough* ) atleast dont make it obvious thats your alt because it literally had the same description as @Soupn_shit which is literally wolly. (the pearl jam song lyrics.)

but like it is more than obvious that you are the one behind wolly, same attitude, same country and same interests!! why the hell are you not banned yet?? do mods want to hear your cringe autism-faking crap still???

now moving on sonicsymphony which is obviously you once again

"follow my brother sonicsymphony"

your brother? are you talking about an imaginary one? because your real brother abandoned you because of your autism faking crap😂😂🖕🖕 you make the nearly the same posts, you dont do art because you cant find a new artstyle to pretend to be someone else. you would eventually be exposed like you got exposed for beign Wolly🖕🖕

Thats not marx you absolute asshole, i am the one behind this all and whats your evidence for anti-LGBTQ raid? im pansexual and i have. ahatred for straight people.

i act nothing like marx. i dont make alts and pretend they are someone else unlike you. delinquents is not me or marx, it is not so hard for some people to have the same interests.

you have zero evidence that Marx is behind this raid. marx isnt overobsessed absieeee or crimson_moff/dizzylizard whatever like that.

now lets move onto some people you "met" on scratch which are obviously your alts so you knew them ever since the very terrible day when an asshole was brought into this world which is YOU.

ZebTheUltimate

well yeah thats you you literally had them in your bio. you try to look cool by underrating yourself.

First, lets take a look at Zeb's scratch account, shall we?

well yeah,, different country and different artstyle (though that can be changed???)

the main key to this all is the way you act. you all get tagged by fritos which is possibly another of your alts.

reminder that celestialcrash had 5 alts on scratch (-celestialcrashalt- -celestialcrash- kirbyfanboy2009 raymanfan kirbyfanboy1992 ) so theres a big possibility you imported those accounts on SU. its easy.. its easy.. its easy.. its easy.. its easy.. its easy.. its easy.

do not try to fool me trying to make more people seem to go against me because in deep I and you know they are your alts. you cant deny it.

also, the way you literally defend YoloSwagMaster3k and yet follow Blue_ (gone_x) sucks because they were literal enemies ever since last October. What a traitor!

CelestialCrash, read this. You are an absolute idiot with no life who is making alts just to look like the famous bitches (ahem, ahem, Pizzapawzie, raymania andd PIZZAPAWZIE.... not to mention all pizzapawzie does is post shit about faking autism and their patootie milocoreee🥺🥺 remember that you will never be cool because you werent born with the skill of that plus you ruined the chance to be cool. You should log off all your socials and actually work on life (which i doubt you have) because im actually worried for your future. i dont want your kids to grow up as assholes like you.

you literally turned off your online status the day you said you would quit so that people wouldnt of found out you were online but i actually noticed you following some people so you couldve not fooled me. and that post was full of bad words which just showed you were. amd kid with no manners at all.

your best friend is yourself so that tells why wolly is your alt. no one wants to be your friend at all.

Uncultured Swine

CelestialCrash - a month ago

I can't believe this

TW: Vent

I really annoyed rn. Some stupid guy is pretending to be me on Paint Replay/Sketch One (worst app ever) and is making extremely hurtful comments to people. I don't know why this person is trying to ruin my reputation so much, and somehow they have even fooled some people into thinking that it it me. I would NEVER say the fucked up shit this person is saying about my friends. I think that we should try to get Paint Replay/Sketch One banned because not only is it just a really shitty place in general, but it has NO MODS, which is why so much of this awful shit is happening, why would a social media without a mod team even be allowed to exist? I am so pissed off rn. I am actually going to take a PROPER break from posting for a while. I do not want to be involved in this stupid drama any longer

CRY ABOUT IT!!!

No one cares about your vent at all

I personally think you might even be Salteeth because you both are bitches with no life who are loved by the su community (targeted to Salteeth because celestialcrash has no fanart and barely even any fans.)

"HOMESTAR!!!! HOMESTAR!!!" and thats how you got all this crappy fame🥺🥺

Unlike you, celestialcrash admitted to being an uncultured swine which is why i still have some respect for them but you are out there appealing bans 829101919292838374737272818910293837363626263637272919193845747488382929383838382828282222222222929192837474746463525516171910103847575775757474848484838838474848383847474774 times because you think you deserve better🥺🥺 i do hope you get IP banned because what you did was actually terrible. that spider had a life unlike you and you came there killing it.🖕

i hope you suffer the same fate as the spider if not worse- NEVERMIND you cant suffer the same fate as that spider because you have no life and you would probably die and deserve it but the spider you killed in no way deserved this all. What a gross user. you posted a debodied spider just for fame and have no remorse for that. atleast dont trigger people with your grossness they do not deserve this at all, no, nope.

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jorrated · 6 months

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always wondered what STC would've been like if instead of just making Eggman evil on a single event, it kinda jumbled his brain a lot and make him have brief moments of lucidity as Kintobor. give him the ice king treatment ya know

#jo.art #sonic the hedgehog #which would give a reason as to why sonic doesnt just straight up kill eggman #not that he would i think #hes like 15 #and would give some sort of drive to keep fighting eggman #in the hopes of maybe 'this time we'll de-jumble' his brain'#plus i dont like the concept of AI holo-kintobor #kintobor should be a sort of dead figure #holo ovi over there takes away from ovi becoming eggy #anyway.#i have so many notes on how id reboot the stc comics #SPECIALLY with SA2 in mind #just as a note #in the last few pannels ovi is looking at his reflection #but like. has no fucking clue whats going on #he doesnt know he turned into eggman and sonic is asking if hes himself? absolutely bananas #but also hes the kinda of dude to try to hold his shit to not scare the kid (sonic) so hes playing like things are kinda under control #what im trying to say is that kintobor is kinda of a dad and is trying to not freak out his son #doesnt work out tho this situation is fucked #and ive given up drawing properly in the last few pannels im sure you can tell #fleetway #sonic the comic

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sallymew4 · 7 days

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finally drew something at least somewhat legit for the pre-mob terumob ive been churning out recently

i like them .i think theyre silly :)

vv bonuses vv

#i am so incredibly sick i am dying #my sinuses #but anyways #i dont know if im au-fying this...i just like the dynamic #but maybge i should #i like them guys !!!!!! they make me go :) haha #mob tries his best to reform him because everyone deserves second chances (especially this guy ?)#while teru has nearly no clue why this weird guy with a plain face and dumb bowlcut keeps showing up everywhere he goes #in short:#mob sees the good in him teru sees the gay in him(self)#i need to write more in-depth about them i swear. or maybe just doodle more silly comics whatever im more compelled to do at the moment #i cant be profound author right now i am ill and i am sleepy #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #teruki hanazawa #hanazawa teruki #shigeo kageyama #kageyama shigeo #mob #meowmeow art #ummmm yeah post. i always think of better tags later it makes me sad #edit: I FORGOT THE TERUMOB TAGS #terumob #pre-mob teru #pre-mob terumob

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oatbugs · 5 months

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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

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todayisafridaynight · 2 months

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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

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ganondoodle · 2 months

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(forces myself to stop playing stardew so i can get some progress done on my art projects- daydreams the entire first arc of my original story stuff -again- for 2 hours)

#ganondoodles talks #personal #should i even try to do anything now #its almost bedtime #....#idk why i keep doing this #i know how things go i dont need to think it over and over #im wasting so much time my gOD #also in the end i either get discoruaged or sad or stuck bc its not all done and when you think about every single imprtant story point #its like binge watching while skipping less important parts so it just feels weird rushed and worse than it actually is

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definitelynotnia · 2 months

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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

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