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archiveoftragedies · 2 months

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In mdzs, when the public opinion started shifting and everyone turned on jgy it made me feel vindicated. Finally they're siding with me against the guy that keeps pissing me off. But that only lasted an instant. Slowly, progressively, I started going wait. Wait no hold on. Go back. I didn't mean it that way go back. Because they were saying about jgy the exact same bullshit they had been saying about wwx the entire novel. And suddenly it felt really off.

Then, during the flashbacks leading up to Nightless City, I kept thinking back on that thing wwx tells nhs in volume one, when nhs explains his family's solution to their haunted saber problem. "Well, that's hitting a bit close to the demonic cultivation path". Doesn't nhs refuse to swordfight as well? Is he even carrying a sword? How come he can get away with this (and wwx can't)?

Wwx and jgy have similar origins but were raised in different environments. They learned similar survival methods and tried to play by the rules up until they couldn't anymore. They had the two more prominent roles in winning the sunshot campaign, and yet everyone forgot about that the second they decided they were irredeemable. They met similar ends, fighting and protecting people they loved.

Nhs became the kind of person his brother would despise in trying to avenge him. He became like his brother's murderer. His survival method is also trying to make himself seem harmless, not with polite smiles or clever distractions but with tears. The only reason he didn't meet the same end as the other two is that he managed to stay out of the public's eye, and because his reputation was unstained from the beginning. Although I should note that he is Nie Mingjue's half-brother, which might hint at a more complicated heritage, more similar to that of the other two, than one would suspect at first glance. But whether that's the case or not, the point is that nobody would call nhs a bastard, and that means that people will overlook certain things he does that have condemned the other two to death.

That's what makes them such great narrative foils. In the end all three of them are cheating, but nhs had better cards to begin with.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #jin guangyao #wwx did most things out of love while jgy did most things to get ahead in life #but jgy went out of his way to help people he loved too #given his childhood his goals are not less noble than the other two's just because they're selfish #most of the things jgy did he was forced to do or genuinely saw no other choice. and most of them he doesn't regret #but also #why should he have helped lan xichen. then a stranger. when he was fleeing the destroyed cloud recesses #qin su would have suffered more than him if they had not married #call me lan xichen the way i will apologize for yao-mei's crimes #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mxtx #my meta

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mikayesha · 2 months

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feeling like a saggy massive sack of shit

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miodiodavinci · 9 months

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i found one of my old middle school sketch books while cleaning up today and saw there was A Good Deal of ghost trick art in it, so i decided to spend some time paying tribute to the ghost detective that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry in 2011 w

old ghost trick art under the cut—minor spoilers in the dialogue whoops👇

#miodoodledavinci #ghost trick #for having not drawn traditionally since high school i think this turned out pretty neat w #i missed drawing this guy and it feels good to finally have his proportions Mostly right w #i suppose this would be more impressive if i’d gone through with full hatch shading #but i have better things to do than regret my life choices SFKSHKSGJDG #OH i should probably also tag this with #sissel #sissel ghost trick #thats his full name #anyway if you haven’t played ghost trick and you’re not sensitive to flashing #🫵👁👁 this is your sign

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possamble · 1 month

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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato #junoposting

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iwasbored777 · 10 months

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I literally don't care what anyone says about Gwen - I will always love her. If she took Miles' side they would give her a one way ticket to prison or her father's funeral or both - and they did that anyway. Stop acting like Miles is the only one who has problems and stop acting like there was any win-win option for Gwen cuz I will start eating concrete.

#he didn't want to listen to anyone who tried to warn him about anything and she had no choice but to listen and do as she was told #whether she liked it or not #I'm not saying it's his fault but it's not her either #if it was the other way around oh god if it was the other way around #i love to protect girls who are hated for having a personal life before their love life cuz i used to be like that #my friends told me that i should choose social life before my family #i chose family and i still didn't regret it #i get lonely #but i know that i made a good decision #anyways #spider man across the spider verse #gwen stacy #leave gwen alone or else #miles morales #across the spiderverse #spiderverse

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velvette3 · 2 months

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Let’s just all collectively say, that @lu-lus-duckies is pretty fuckin insane, and I wish them well. (Honestly, so are the people in @nunalastor ‘s ask box)

I may be a damn crazy person myself, but WORMS. INSECTS. That is my L I M I T of insane.

Hate bugs, always will. Especially spider. Absolutely not spider. Screw off all y’all (ANGELDUST IS HUMANOID LOOKING SO ANGEL IS NOT THAT BAD).

But Nein. No bugs. No mas. It’s absolutely fuckin RUBBISH that y’all just— casually. Insert worms.

I think I am the most sane. And all my friends have the nastiest jokes of all time.

What

The actual

Fucktardery is this hellsite…

Like, enjoy y’all insanity.

But I’ll be over in a corner

Eating popcorn and weeping.

Thank ya very much.

#i regret my life choices #i regret my decisions #wtf did i do #why did i do this #I’m screwed #fuckkkk #screw off #all y’all blokes #stfu #Nein #I’ll be in the corner now #eating popcorn #weeping #and laughing my arse off

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villainihavedonethymotheronao3 · 6 months

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One thing I love about Ashton and Fearne is that Ashton very aggressively projects onto her all the things they want to be; blasé, confident, effortlessly loved, capable of shaking off anything. They see the best, brightest parts of her but it's an admiration that often obscures her real fears and sensitivities! She's not just the impulsive, flirty fae, she's really scared for her friends. She's a sheltered young woman who's never truly lost someone they loved before. Ashton connects instinctively with her whimsy, her need for challenge, the bouts of spite, the urge to shake things up, the "level of crazy that I'm kind of into" but he can't grasp the degree to which she'd be messed up if he died in front of her. Coming off of so many years of nihilistic self-pity, it's hard to recognize that your actions impact other people, and I think part of the reason they wanted Fearne is because they thought that exploding in front of her wouldn't be as bad as doing so in front of the others. Just take his stuff, it's fine!

(It's not fine.)

#critical role spoilers #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #it's not quite manic pixie dream girl but it's in the same clade #both ashton and fearne have very maladjusted senses of each other!#they both think the other one is a little more down and cool than they are #so the entire dynamic is this one-upsmanship of playful teasing that only rarely breaks the surface #two people who are both going 'oh you're insane i need to step up my game!' is not a recipe for good choices #but in ashton's case he's genuinely bottled up his vulnerabilities under seven layers of redirection #because after the first couple of life-ruining horrors you have to have some fortifications #whereas fearne is for the first time in her life being confronted by the possibility of losing everything #and is having new real boy prime material plane feelings like grief and regret and guilt #so ashton's 'hey want to do something crazy this afternoon?' *explodes*#is hugely damaging for her

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jinxs-left-nipple · 3 months

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Ugh tfuq do yall mean disclose my personal thoughts what

Remember how at one point we were all supposed to enter the florpus but then a bunch on nerds happened and we kinda didn't and now there's taxes all over again?

#hello #invader zim #shitpost #please don't read this #im horrible #at this #how do people do this #i regret my life choices

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mihai-florescu · 7 days

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I am plagued by theatrical productions i'll never see... it's not like a book i can pick up at any point and return to with new insights as an omniscient reader. No one experiences a play the same but the momentality of it makes you more aware of your role, be it on stage or the audience, the story flows because of your presence at this exact moment. And there are countless plays at this very moment everywhere in the world, there is so much i will never know or experience? It will just be lost to time, to others' perception and memory?

#i wonder how my life wouldve progressed if i hadnt distanced myself from theatre or generally the world #i needed the control and static state of books and games but i regret casting theatre aside?#it wasnt entirely by choice and my transitional phase in the first lockdown was by watching 1-2 films a day but those are really #not the same at all. they made the transition to getting lost in books easier but still #there is nothing like theatre #but it's also tainted by highschool memories (yes yes i say do not let others ruin things for you but i also used to be more passionate then #even if most called me robotic or a bitch. well. i didnt discourage it either. i lost my point #)#this post was triggered by looking into the tokyo grand guignol. not for the reasons i was looking into the french one last week #entirely coincidental but it made me laugh in the way coincidences seem too scripted in timing #nevertheless. it was still coincidental

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number1sargefan · 11 days

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In the hospital rn

I jokingly used a cringe pickup line on Radlynn and she fucking punched me and broke my nose and and a few bones

#everything fucking hurts #never doing that shit ever again #who tf taught Radlynn to fight #I'm regretting my life choices #my poor grandma is gonna have a heart attack if she hears about this #that pickup line was so shitty I wanted to die when I used it #roleplayeria #sarge fan

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unfunnyaceartist · 2 months

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Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it

I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.

Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.

Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.

sorry im dumb haha

#tw vent #By the time I finished writing the post I was no longer a mess about it but im still gonna post it #I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I SEE ANYONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY OWN ISSUES IM GONNA BE PISSED #yall read all the tags its beneficial lol #Ngl SOME of this jealousy hits hardest with Gummy #because Ill FINALLY get fed some simp food for myself #and then yk #theyll kinda show up and ask to receive the same stuff #or act jealous #gummy #babe I love you #BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE FEEDING YOU GUMMYBUNNY CONSTANTLY????#Like mine is rare and far between #and I dont draw much selfship unlike you #LET ME HAVE SOME THINGS DAMMIT #And then Darken over here when I get a cool new friend just like:#... is for me? 🥺👉👈#/nm for both things #im the embodiment of envy and greed arent I...#I hate upsetting people #I just keep it to myself and internalize my emotions mostly #haha now you guys know how possessive and jealous I am #its giving yandere 🥰💅✨🗣💃🕺😍😘😼🤠🤭😇🙄🤩😜😝🤑🧐😈#i regret my life choices right about now

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